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you said you’ve never been to the ocean,

as if there aren’t a thousand seas in your eyes.

eyes so big and bright they could carry me away,

and in them I would let myself wash and float.

I carry crimes that could burn a thousand bridges,

never knowing what emotion could come next.

but in your eyes, I’ve seen a home I never knew,

a safety to the waves that feels like comfort.

suddenly, even if the waters swallows me,

I’ll still feel whole and safe and home.

those eyes, brown like melted gold and copper,

there’s a world in them greater than any blue.

you are greater than what I could ever give you,

yet you still swallow me whole and accept me.

no questions are asked, all care is always given,

as if the sins I’ve committed are nothing but past.

please, let me swim in those eternal eyes forever,

let me breathe the fire and smoke into my lungs.

I want you and need you more than I can admit,

Swallow, suffocate, burn, and bleed me whole.

my soul is yours to keep or bury for you alone,

an eternity in your arms is all I’ve ever dreamed.

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Hey sad girl, sending love your way. I hope you can find something to smile about!

Awe thank you! That’s very kind 💕

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just a sad girl living in a sad fucked up world.

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you know i love my flowers—

tulips and lavenders,

offered through shifting seasons,

freshly handpicked,

symbols of your love,

confessions of my own,

set openly in the heart

of our shared home.

but seasons turn.

the petals wither quickly.

you reached for distant skies

while i remained inside,

where time moved slowly,

where patience wore thin.

i searched for you in the open;

you returned to find me gone.

i wandered through silence;

you stayed behind, waiting.

when i came back,

the house was hollow—

by the door,

only wilted flowers

waiting alone.

we both know the truth:

it’s over.

you will not return.

and still, i wait.

watering the earth as if apology

could root itself and bloom,

as if each flower i raise

might call you back—

though i know it never will.

eloria

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“For as long as I could remember, I had been apologizing for existing, for trying to be who I was, to live the life I was meant to lead.”

— Meredith Russo, If I Was Your Girl

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“Don’t ever put your happiness in someone else’s hands. They’ll drop it. They’ll drop it everytime.”

— One For Sorrow, C.Barzak

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Autumn, the season of the soul

Instagram: consumerofthedivine

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My, my, those eyes like fire

I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre

Come now, bite through these wires

I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired

Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher

Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire

I will travel far beyond the path of reason

Take me back to Eden

Take me back to Eden

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(...)

Hit the machine

Hit hard

Make it a heavyweight fight

Charge like a bull at the moment of the first attack

And remember the old dogs

Who fought so well:

Hemingway, Céline, Dostoevsky, Hamsun.

If you think they didn't go mad

In cramped quarters

Just like the one you're in now

Without women

Without food

Without hope

Then you're not ready.

(...)

Charles Bukowski was born on August 16, 1920, in Andernach, Germany.

He was the son of an American soldier and a German mother. When he was just three years old, his family moved to the United States, where he grew up in Los Angeles, the city that became the setting for much of his work.

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all women should feel safe at all times in all places

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