scamartist101 - Tumblr blog

[scamartist101]

I hide my heart in my sleeve

[scamartist101]

from awkward conversations,

to slow dancing in the dark.

from growing closer,

to forever apart.

you were there always and never again,

I was your home but now I'm your cemetery of emotions,

but you are and always will be my little speck of yellow in this world.

[scamartist101]

everything is fading,

i’m losing words,

i’m losing thoughts,

i’m struggling to feel,

the only emotions that keep me going,

are the ones i feel for you, 

but is that enough?

[scamartist101]

words are all i have of yours to keep

[scamartist101]

did you aim for the match to end or for it to start?

you threw your darts to score,

it landed perfectly on the red circle,

but did you know you pierced through my heart and not just the board?

i guess you aimed for it to end,

you claimed your prize and left,

but i’m still here wondering if you could throw your darts again.

[scamartist101]

i would let you break my heart a million times if it means i get to feel your love a million times first.

[scamartist101]

i don't know what happiness is,

i don't know what living feels like,

I'm merely existing in my bubble of thoughts

but you're the rainbow on my bubble.

i told you that you were my yellow,

but baby you're all colors at once for me,

i pray you be my color till death do us apart.

[scamartist101]

we crave to be loved by someone, but how do we know how to reciprocate our love?

[scamartist101]

I got a mail today, it was a card board box.

I didn't order the box but it had my name on it, 

fragile was written on one side,

and on the other, handle with care.

The only way I could open it was with a knife,

I picked up a knife from the counter feeling guilty to even touch it, 

The knife looked so shiny like all things new but sharp with a conscious, 

I held it against the skin of the card board feeling its texture, 

I then cut across so slowly I could feel the depth of the card board through the pressure of the knife, 

It felt relieving in a way to cut so deep with rage yet curious to see what was inside, 

I lifted the flaps of the box, 

there i saw a broken gramophone, so old and heavy with no tunes left to play.

I regret opening it now, 

like all things a gramophone could be fixed, 

but a box cannot be unopened. 

- S

[scamartist101]

My mind was spiraling with thoughts.

Amongst all that mess,

All I could worry about is you.

But I made my rules,

I don't do love anymore.

[scamartist101]

Why did you change?

Did you change or was it a facade the entire time?

Did you really love me or was I just a possession for you?

Did you mean it when you said "I love you" or did you just like the way I said "I love you"?

Did the advantage that you had on me grew into anger?

Did you spend all that time with me because you were scared to be lonely?

All these unanswered questions don't need an answer

The answers were given to me the day you left me

And now all I can think is about where did I go wrong?

What did I do to make you think I was unworthy of your love?

What did I do to make you think this is love?

I was never enough to show you what love is

I was just enough to make you into a man much worse than the one I had fallen in love with

[scamartist101]

[scamartist101]

Heart made of glass my mind of stone

[scamartist101]

I fall apart

[scamartist101]

[scamartist101]

Saltier than my life I guess?

[scamartist101]