self-hate-guide

[self-hate-guide]

Unhealthy Diet

What’s one of the first things people tell you to do when you’re stressed? Eat healthy, exercise, and get good sleep! Why? Because they actually help you (something about brain chemicals and all).

So you know what you should do? The complete opposite. Not taking care of your body actually raises your stress levels (proved by science!) which means it’s a tool you can use to hate yourself.

Every time you reach for those trashy meals, you gain a spike in your blood sugar. While you may at first have a temporary sense of relief from these foods, the moment your blood sugar crashes, you go straight to stress city (Marengo Katherine).

Temporary stress can cause elevated blood pressure, headaches, stomachaches, sleeping problems, and chest pains. Stress also has been shown to inhibit the immune system, leading to more colds and sickness in times of stress. Further, chronic stress can severely impact both mental and physical health. This stress is only increased by a bad diet. This form of stress that negatively impacts the body, is associated with many serious and deadly health risks including various cancers, cirrhosis of the liver, heart disease, lung problems, and in some instances, suicide (Chakraburtty, 2005).

The more stress you are in, the more stress you put on yourself, the unhealthier you become, and the more your emotional state crumbles.

Helpful Don’t-Do-This List:

Be aware of what you put into your body. Perhaps start making a list of what you eat in a day so you can catch yourself if you start eating bad.

Find easy to cook recipes online if you don’t know where to start (https://greatist.com/health/52-healthy-meals-12-minutes-or-less#Fast-and-Easy-Breakfasts)

Find more healthy alternatives to what you’re eating. For example, drinking Perrier instead of soda, or eating kale chips instead of chips.

Photo by Louis Hansel @shotsoflouis on Unsplash

Works Cited:

Chakraburtty, A. (2005). “Stress, Anxiety, and Depression: How They Affect Your Health.” The Cleveland Clinic website: http://www.webmd.com/depression/stress-anxiety-depression 

Marengo, Katherine. “How Does Eating Affect Your Blood Sugar?” Healthline, 2 Jan. 2020, www.healthline.com/health/and-after-effect-eating-blood-sugar.

[self-hate-guide]

Worry About the Future

There’s no use worrying about your future unless it promotes direct action. Which is why it's a good tool to hate yourself!

I’ve spent hours and hours trying to imagine how I could have done things differently or how my life could have been. This resulted in me not focusing on the good things in my life right now and I was constantly allowing my worry to ruin my happiness.

If you want to hate yourself, focusing on things beyond your power is one way of doing that.

Helpful don’t-do-this guide:

Take little steps to focus on the present.

Maybe spare a couple of minutes to reflect on your day

Realise that most of your fears are just illusions you come up with to be self-destructive

Try to be mindful of the way you present your thoughts. For example, instead of saying “I feel horrible” think “, I want to get better”. It might be cliche, but words have power.

For more information: https://www.goalcast.com/2017/10/08/the-only-reality-is-now-how-i-stopped-worrying-about-the-future/

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

[self-hate-guide]

Toxic People

I once had a friend who was judgemental, mean, always complaining, and just plain rude. She not only used others to bring herself up but in the process, lost all her friends as well. 

Surrounding yourself with these toxic friends who will become your biggest stressor is yet another way to hate yourself. These people bring themselves up by using your insecurities against you, often making you feel, small, and ashamed. 

One way you can hate yourself using them is to identify which people will take you in and suck you dry and stick with them!

Helpful don’t-do-this list:

Limit or cut off contact with them

Make an effort to find new friends

Be honest, with yourself and the toxic people in your life

Try talking to your friends

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

[self-hate-guide]

Procrastination

What’s something you should be doing today but would rather not. An essay perhaps? Or maybe an important phone call? Maybe you have a test tomorrow that you just don’t want to study for.

I want to say I feel that bro.

Even now as I’m writing this, this is a product of my procrastination. Weeks and weeks of sitting in class, going on tiktok instead of finishing my assignments. And I gotta say, it’s working out well on giving me a reason to hate myself.

I  keep thinking of where I would be now if I hadn’t procrastinated earlier. Probably farther along in my life with a better headspace, yeah. Not hating myself like this.

Push your problems aside so they end up getting worse.

That’s one way to go.

Helpful don’t-do-this list (”How Can I Stop Procrastinating”):

Forgive yourself for procrastinating in the past and move on from there

Commit and reward yourself

Minimise your distractions so you can work

Keep a to-do-list so you can keep organised and check yourself

Our brains are always changing. On one hand, this means that it can generate new and flexible behavior. On the other, it means that it can also strengthen old, rigid behaviors. Translation: the more you procrastinate, the more self-sustaining your behavior will become. It takes a level of conscious awareness and effort to interfere with old habits-- so why not start now? (Burka, Jane B)

Sources: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

Works Cited:

BillT, and Mind Tools Content Team. “How Can I Stop Procrastinating?: Overcoming the Habit of Delaying Important Tasks.” Procrastination - How Can I Stop Procrastinating? with MindTools.com, www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm.

Burka, Jane B., and Lenora M. Yuen. Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do about It Now. Da Capo Lifelong, 2009.

[self-hate-guide]

Pushing People Away

“Pushing people away is intimately related to desire. For the French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan, desire is always incomplete because it comes from outside. Lacan situates psychic development in relation to the question “Che vuoi?” (“What do you want?”).” (Watts, Jay)

Think about every good moment that has happened in your life. Now, visualize all the people who have helped you get to that moment. Parents, friends, teachers, enemies, maybe even strangers who have pushed you. 

In order to truly hate yourself, you must push everyone away. Everyone supporting you, everyone helping you, everyone around you. You absolutely must not take any chances.

I mean, be realistic. If someone came to you, asking for help, what would you do? Picture me, crying, DMing you on this app to talk. Would you reply back? Probably. Whether a stranger or friend, there’s always someone out there willing to give you a hand. 

You need to be truly alone.

(And yes, that does include so-called “internet friends” as well. I see you.)

Helpful don’t-do-this list::

Talk to someone (school counselors, teachers, friends, people on the internet)

Join an online platform (Tumblr plug) where you can make friends with similar interests

When our self-worth is based on others, our boundaries become blurred and we gain a greater dependency on other’s reactions. Your desire to push others away may be an attempt to relieve anxiety. The antidote is to work on building up your internal resources, sense of self, and establishing healthier boundaries between yourself and others. (Eddins, Rachel)

Therapy is an excellent way to build these skills as you can practice in the context of a safe relationship.

If in need of help, call hotlines (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines)

Photo by Du Wei on Unsplash

Works Cited:

“3 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away & How You Can Avoid Doing Them.” Eddins Counseling Group – Houston, TX, 5 Dec. 2017, eddinscounseling.com/toxic-relationship-behaviors-that-push-people-away/.

Watts, Jay. “Why Do I Push People Away? You Asked Google – Here's the Answer | Jay Watts.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 13 Dec. 2017, www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/dec/13/push-people-away-psychology.

[self-hate-guide]

An Introduction to My Self-Hate Guide

Hi everyone,

This page will be my ultimate guide on how to hate yourself.

The main goal I have for this project is to understand more about the reasons why we self deprecate and the methods in which we actively go out of our way to bring ourselves down. With this goal, I want to inspire others to take a hard look at themselves and see themselves within my posts. 

Whether you want to ruin your life or fix it, this collection of ideas is here for you to use. 

Yours truly,

A self-hate master