shadow-library

[shadow-library]

Pauline’s book recs : a MASTERPOST

It’s time for a summer cleaning, so I thought I would organise my book recs once and for all. I’ll try to update this post once in a while and I also added it to my info page so that you can access all those links super easily. HAVE FUN.

CLASSICAL LITERATURE (ANTIQUITY) Where should I start? The fundamental works Where should I start? The mythology-oriented works Where should I start? The translation edition A very touristic overview of Ancient Greek literature Different texts for Antigone Different texts for Elektra  Different texts and translations for The Odyssey

CLASSIC BOOKS (ALL ERAS) First things first : a few favourites Where should I start? My first classics A very touristic overview of literature reading Modern classics Reading women : a few favourites Where should I start? English and US literature  Where should I start? Modern Italian literature Where should I start? German and Austrian literature Where should I start? Russian literature Where should I start? Renaissance literature Where should I start? French Medieval literature Where should I start? Victorian literature Reading classics to children Children literature for adults  Short-length classics Short stories One last thing: books I don’t want to check out

POETRY First things first : a few favourites Second things second : a bunch of recs Where should I start? Poetry Learning French? Easy French poetry Narrative poems  Mystic poems Poems about separation Poems about love Poems about happiness Poems about exile

DRAMA First things first : a few favourites

NON-FICTION First things first : a few favourites On feminism On translation On literary analysis and adaptation On biographies and diaries On writing theory On art history On reader-response theory On Sufism Literary interviews Essays

YEARLY SUMMARY Best of 2015 : Fiction Best of 2015 : Poetry 2015 - 2016 awaited releases 2016 Summer reading list Best of 2016 : Fiction Best of 2016 : Poetry

THEMATIC LISTS By character Works featuring Persephone Works featuring Kassandra Works featuring mermaids Works featuring the femme fatale archetype Works featuring female villains Works with Nature as a character Works with introspective characters Works with narcissistic characters Trope : Star-crossed lovers Trope : Friends to lovers Trope : Villainous love Trope : Toxic mother figure By theme Rewriting Greek and Roman myths LGBTQ (a terribly lacking list) Introspection and self-discovery Melancholy and sadness Happiness and hope Symbolism and atmosphere Moral corruption Spiritual decadence Sex politics and philosophy The female rage World War I Southern Gothic Great love stories Unusual love stories Dystopias Crime novels Medieval historical fiction Beach reading Travel reading By book Books similar to The Secret History Books similar to Wuthering Heights Books similar to A Grief Observed Books similar to The Brothers Karamazov Recommended editions of Romeo and Juliet Recommended editions of Shakespeare’s Sonnets Recommended translations of Tristan and Yseult Books adapted to the screen (1) Books adapted to the screen (2) By author Favourite French writers Favourite Contemporary writers What to read? By Women French writers What to read? By Anne Carson (And some prep reading for Anne Carson) What to read? By Richard Siken What to read? By Roland Barthes What to read? By Agatha Christie What to read? By E. A. Poe What to read? By Priya Sarukkai Chabria If you love Angela Carter  If you love Louise Glück  If you love Virginia Woolf  If you love Sylvia Plath  If you love Marguerite Duras If you love Emile Zola

[shadow-library]

"Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo."

"If I cannot move Heaven I will raise Hell."

Virgil, Aeneid VII

⚫⚫⚫

"Your Bracelet," she said. "Acheronta movebo.' It doesn't mean 'Thus always to tyrants.' That's 'sic semper tyrannis.' This is from Virgil. 'Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.' If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell."

Clary Fairchild to Sebastian Morgenstern, City of Lost Souls by Cassandra Clare

“Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven.”

— John Milton, Paradise Lost

[shadow-library]

I’ve seen a lot of curious people wanting to dive into classical music but don’t know where to start, so I have written out a list of pieces to listen to depending on mood. I’ve only put out a few, but please add more if you want to. hope this helps y’all out. :)

stereotypical delightful classical music:

battalia a 10 in d major (biber)

brandenburg concerto no. 5

brandenburg concerto no. 3

symphony no. 45 - “farewell” (haydn)

if you need to chill:

rondo alla turca

fur elise

anitra’s dance

in the steppes of central asia (borodin) (added by viola-ology)

if you need to sleep:

moonlight sonata

swan lake

corral nocturne

sleep (eric whitacre) (added by thelonecomposer)

if you need to wake up:

morning mood

summer (from the four seasons)

buckaroo holiday (if you’ve played this in orch you might end up screaming instead of waking up joyfully)

if you are feeling very proud:

pomp and circumstance

symphony no. 9 (beethoven; this is where ode to joy came from)

1812 overture

symphony no. 5, finale (tchaikovsky) (added by viola-ology)

american (dvořák)

if you feel really excited:

hoedown (copland)

bacchanale

spring (from the four seasons) (be careful, if you listen to this too much you’ll start hating it)

la gazza ladra

death and the maiden (schubert)

if you are angry and you want to take a baseball bat and start hitting a bush:

dance of the knights (from the romeo and juliet suite by prokofiev)

winter, mvt. 1 (from the four seasons)

symphony no. 10 mvt. 2 (shostakovich)

symphony no. 5 (beethoven)

totentanz (liszt)

quartet no. 8, mvt. 2 (shostakovich) (added by viola-ology)

young person’s guide to the orchestra, fugue (britten) (added by iwillsavemyworld)

symphony no. 5 mvt. 4 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)

marche slave (tchaikovsky) (added by eternal-cadenza)

if you want to cry for a really long time:

fantasia based on russian themes (rimsky-korsakov)

adagio for strings (barber)

violin concerto in e minor (mendelssohn)

aase’s death

andante festivo

vocalise (rachmaninoff) (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)

if you want to feel like you’re on an adventure:

an american in paris (gershwin)

if you want chills:

danse macabre

russian easter overture

egmont overture (added by shayshay526)

if you want to study:

eine kleine nachtmusik

bolero (ravel)

serenade for strings (elgar)

scheherazade (rimsky-korsakov) (added by viola-ology)

pines of rome, mvt. 4 (resphigi) (added by viola-ology)

if you really want to dance:

capriccio espagnol (rimsky-korsakov)

blue danube

le cid (massenet) (added by viola-ology)

radetzky march

if you want to start bouncing in your chair:

hopak (mussorgsky)

les toreadors (from carmen suite no.1)

if you’re about to pass out and you need energy:

hungarian dance no. 1

hungarian dance no. 5

if you want to hear suspense within music:

firebird

in the hall of the mountain king

ride of the valkyries

night on bald mountain (mussorgsky) (added by viola-ology)

if you want a jazzy/classical feel:

rhapsody in blue

jazz suite no. 2 (shostakovich) (added by eternal-cadenza)

if you want to feel emotional with no explanation:

introduction and rondo capriccioso

unfinished symphony (schubert)

symphony no. 7, allegretto (beethoven) (added by viola-ology)

canon in d (pachelbel)

if you want to sit back and have a nice cup of tea:

st. paul’s suite

concerto for two violins (vivaldi)

l’arlésienne suite

concierto de aranjuez (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)

pieces that don’t really have a valid explanation:

symphony no. 40 (mozart)

cello suite no. 1 (bach)

polovtsian dances

enigma variations (elgar) (added by viola-ology)

perpetuum mobile

moto perpetuo (paganini)

pieces that just sound really cool:

scherzo tarantelle

dance of the goblins

caprice no. 24 (paganini)

new world symphony, allegro con fuoco (dvorak) (added by viola-ology​)

le tombeau de couperin (added by tropicalmunchakoopas)

carnival of the animals (added by shadowraven45662)

if you feel like listening to concertos all day (I do not recommend doing that):

concerto for two violins (bach)

concerto for two violins (vivaldi)

violin concerto in a minor (vivaldi)

violin concerto (tchaikovsky) (added by iwillsavemyworld)

violin concerto in d minor (sibelius) (added by eternal-cadenza)

cello concerto in c (haydn)

piano concerto, mvt. 1 (pierne) (added by iwillsavemyworld)

harp concerto in E-flat major, mvt. 1 (added by iwillsavemyworld)

and if you really just hate classical music in general:

4′33″ (cage)

a lot of these pieces apply in multiple categories, but I sorted them by which I think they match the most. have fun exploring classical music!

also, thank you to viola-ology, iwillsavemyworld, shayshay526, eternal-cadenza, tropicalmunchakoopas, shadowraven45662, and thelonecomposer for adding on! if you would like to add on your own suggestions, please reblog and add on or message me so I can give you credit for the suggestion!

[shadow-library]

In another episode of “If they made a movie for it...”

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare (again)

Tessa Gray, disguised as Camille Belcourt and in a full-length gown, stepping into de Quincey’s shimmering ballroom amidst a crowd of vampires. Will Herondale, dressed in a simple white dress shirt and navy blue pants, trailing along, alert but making his best attempt to play a human subjugate. Applause by Lady Gaga plays faintly in the background. The music itensifies as de Quincey nears her and Tessa Gray must finally play the cold-hearted vampire she imagines Camille Belcourt to be. 

[shadow-library]

Rowan, Ch. 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Mark, 3 years ago, senior year of high school

“No, I don’t think so,” she says, dark hair bobbing in her ponytail and she shakes her head vigorously at the boy sitting across from her at their table. She begins to draw various arrows on her page that indicate what the right answer to the question is, somehow speaking animatedly about calculus. The rest of the table is focused on Rowan’s explanation, but Mark just nods along absentmindedly, instead opting to stare out of the window at the snow flurries whisking by.

The problem was simple, really. Mark knows Rowan is right, and he thinks Rowan knows she’s right, yet she still insists on debating over the question for several minutes in order to convince the boy that she does, in fact, the correct answer. Perhaps she’s just trying to confirm she understands the concept. Mark sighs.

Mark

He really didn’t meant to take Rowan’s textbook. To be quite honest, he didn’t even recognize her until he had spent an entire hour in class next to her. Mark had just been extremely late to class that day, and had sat down in the first seat as close as he could to the front of the room (he was really very blind), which just so happened to be next to Rowan Ying.

He has a partner project in a class across campus directly after, and he’s determined to be partners with Aspen Ardor, a student which he deems to be the only hard-working and dedicated one in the entire class. As soon as the professor finishes his last sentence, he’s shoveling things into his backpack and running out the door.

It is only after he grabs Aspen by the backpack to claim him as his partner that he connects face to name and realizes that the girl he had been sitting next to all hour had been the same one who was obsessed with calculus in high school.

...

Mark spies her out of the corner of her eye, analyzing his particular position in the hallway with a scrutiny he thought reserved only for lecture hall. By now he’s realized the textbook he’s taken is hers, but he had simply planned on returning it when they had class again. Catching her shooting him a glance again, Mark thinks, maybe she needs it urgently.  

Later in the day he spies Aspen walking into Professor Zimmerman’s machine learning course with Rowan, so he texts him later to ask him when the best time today to return an “accidentally borrowed” textbook to Rowan is.

Aspen responds almost immediately. She’s always at the library, he says. Table by the corner bookshelf, diagonal from the nerdy looking kid with brown hair and glasses. Mark laughs under his breath as he reads this. So she’ll be there tonight? He replies. A minute later: Definitely.

He’ll pay her a visit today, he tells himself. Perhaps her work ethic will motivate him to finally get started on that paper that’s due in two days.

...

Mark needs to come to the library more often. Maybe there’s something in the air, but in just two hours he’s finished three major assignments and hasn’t touched his phone once. Although he’s always been a good student, he’s never worked in the Curie library before. Mark thinks he could get used to this lifestyle.

He’s in the middle of his paper when Rowan walks in. Pulling out her textbook, Mark quickly sets it down on the table and mutters an explanation before returning to the thought he had just been about to complete. He only half hears Rowan’s question when she asks why he’s here--his paper is really getting good now--so he shrugs and hopes it’s enough to answer her question. After he finishes the paragraph, though, he lifts his head up briefly, only to hear her grumbling at the preposterous amount of work she has. Smiling to himself, he cracks his neck and promptly resumes his fervorous typing. His paper is going to be so good.

An hour later, though, after his paper is pure perfection (or at least he thinks it is), the guilt starts to set in. He hadn’t meant to ignore her, especially since he just showed up all of sudden at her table, but what can he do now? It’s far too late for introductions (he hopes that at least he remembers his name), and he feels a little awkward talking now. Mark guesses it’s only him who feels this way, though, because Rowan’s eyes are currently eyeing her laptop screen with a deep hatred, nose scrunched up in frustration.

Grabbing his wallet, he rises quickly to grab a can of coffee. Once he reaches the vending machine, he decides that maybe he’ll get one for Rowan too as a sort of apology for his appearance.

[shadow-library]

“How do you ever know for certain that you are doing the right thing?”

— Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See (via the-book-diaries)

[shadow-library]

Rowan, Ch. 2

Chapter 1

Rowan is complaining to Eden about the ridiculous cost of the chai she’s about to buy at the coffee shop when she sees a familiar black-haired individual walk through the cafe’s doors. Her eyes drift over Eden’s shoulder to meet Mark’s, and he sends her a small wave before standing in a line a few spots behind them.

“Who’s that?” Eden asks, turning back to her immediately. Eden Zhou is always suspicious.

“Mark Yoo,” she says slowly. “He sat at my table at the library last Friday.”

“He just randomly sat down at your table?” Eden spins around again to examine him, and Rowan doesn’t have much hope that Mark won’t notice that they’re very obviously talking about him. When she looks over, however, she’s relieved to find him looking down at his phone with his earbuds in.

Rowan has to explain that no, he’s not a creep, he just took my textbook last week and no I haven’t talked to him in years, but he’s not like that before Eden finally nods her head in what looks like cautious approval. Rowan almosts laughs--Eden’s mom side really shines through in times like these, even though Rowan would be the last person to get herself into trouble.

After Rowan orders her chai and Eden decides on some new cold brew the shop’s come out with recently, they settle into the far corner of the cafe where there’s a couple outlets. It’s a Sunday morning, and despite not having church (Rowan and Eden both aren’t religious), Eden insists on waking her up early so they can be “productive and accomplished people.”

Rowan and Eden spend almost four hours at the shop before they decide a change of scenery is necessary. It’s around noon now, and Rowan kind of feels like going out to eat today. She texts Will and Aspen and a couple girls from her and Eden’s dorm, and Eden texts some new friends she made at the STEM convention last month, telling Rowan that she has to meet them and they’re actually the funniest.

Surprisingly, plans are made very smoothly, and everyone agrees to meet up at a dim sum place in half an hour. Just as about the roommates are about to get on the bus to take them downtown, Eden exclaims that she’s forgotten her phone charger. Rowan doesn’t have her charger on her, but either way, she’s got a Samsung, so it’s not like she would be much help. Without a backwards glance, Eden starts running back to the dorms, backpack swinging from side to side.

“I’ll meet you there!” she yells behind her, getting several head turns from passersby. “Don’t wait up!”

“Wait--” Rowan starts. But Eden is already gone. Rowan is sure someone they’re meeting up with is bound to have an Apple charger, but she also knows that Eden is paranoid about her phone’s battery level too. She refuses to let it ever dip below 25%, and in the small chance that someone there doesn’t have a charger, she’s certain Eden would have a panic attack.

“Hey, you still getting on?” the bus driver asks, looking a little disgruntled about the hold-up. Rowan turns around sheepishly and sends an apologetic look to the driver. “Sorry,” she says, and quickly boards the bus, sliding into the nearest open seat. Rowan wonders if Eden will actually end up running the entire way back to the dorms, chuckling inwardly at the thought of Eden wheezing by the time she reaches there.

Rowan is not the first to arrive at the restaurant. When she walks in and tells the hostess she’s the party of ten at 1pm, she points to a table of mostly boys, saying something about how it’s more than ten now. That can’t be my table, Rowan thinks, but she soon spies Will laughing along with them, and realizes that these must be the people Eden met at the convention. As she walks over, Will cries out, “Rowan’s here, guys!” and everybody simultaneously turns around.

“Hey guys,” she says. “Eden’s going to be a little late because she left her phone charger at the dorm and wanted to go get it.” She’s looking for familiar faces as she surveys the group, and her eyes widen when she reaches Mark’s face.

“Mark,” she blurts out. “What are you doing here?” As soon as she says it, she knows it sounds really rude and hastily tries to amend her question. “I mean, I thought it was just going to be some people from the convention last month, and this morning Eden didn’t know you when we were talking--”

Rowan closes her mouth and cringes. He wasn’t supposed to know about that.

Luckily, Mark seems unfazed and responds easily. “Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. Andrew told me some of the guys were going out to eat and asked me if I wanted to come with.”

Rowan shakes her head, relieved that he either hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared about her slip-up. “No, of course not. I was just...surprised, that’s all.”

She takes a seat next to Will, who is now chatting animatedly with Mark about the newest Google Pixel phone. Will turns to Rowan. “What do you think? Should I get it?”

She gives a lighthearted scoff. Pulling out her Galaxy S9, she points at it proudly. “The new Galaxy is where it’s at. Curved edges!”

Will shakes his head. “That ain’t it chief!” he protests, and goes on to explain all the important new specs about the Pixel 3 that make it far more superior to the Galaxy.

In a few minutes Eden is huffing and puffing her way to her seat on the other side of Rowan, gulping down half a glass of water before even speaking. “You have no idea.” She takes another gulp. “How much exercise I just got.” Opening a menu and glancing at it for approximately two seconds before closing it again, she proceeds to introduce Rowan to all of her STEM convention friends. Eden’s surprised to see Mark there too, but after explaining that he’s good friends with Andrew, she relaxes visibly. Andrew is one of the sweetest boys on campus, and Rowan can almost physically see Eden adding this to her mental list of “Mark’s merits”.

Rowan also learns that apparently Aspen and a biology major named Tyler Hawthorn are already good friends, and that when they’re together, chaos ensues. Twice a hostess has to come over to the table to shush them after they start arguing loudly about the best Disney movie to ever exist. There’s also a shy and sweet girl majoring in neuroscience named Ashley Tanaka who’s dating Andrew. They’re so perfect for each other, Eden whispers to her later, sounding slightly jealous. Rowan doesn’t really know that much about romantic relationships and doesn’t have any aspirations for her own, but she agrees nevertheless.

The Mark that Rowan had thought was so aloof last week actually turns out to be remarkably amiable. He laughs at anything remotely funny and has a ridiculous and silly sense of humor. Although Rowan laughs easily too, everyone else seems to have higher standards; when Mark doesn’t receive a good reaction after a particularly bad joke in which Rowan can’t even laugh at, he starts to clap for himself and gestures for others to do the same, which is enough to pull genuine laughter out of the others.

The dim sum is delicious, and Rowan and Eden promise everyone they’ll do it again sometime soon as they pack up leftovers. Rowan exchanges numbers with everybody and as they walk out, she tells Eden she’ll introduce her to some of her crazy friends next time. Eden just laughs and says that all of her friends are crazy already.

The next week is the week before midterms, and Rowan hardly speaks to anybody. Although she finds it impossible, somehow Eden studies better in the dorms while blasting trap music. Instead, Rowan goes to the library before class and returns right after, taking short ten minute breaks only to shovel down small meals. Will is there all the time too, looking even more stressed than Rowan, if that’s even possible. Unexpectedly, though, Mark joins her at the library most days too. He still sits at her table, although Rowan can’t say she minds that much anymore. Rowan mostly ignores him when they study together, and while she feels kind of bad about it, she simply can’t afford to be distracted when she doesn’t even know what half of her notes mean.

Mark starts sporting an extremely thick pair of circular glasses that week, but Rowan only notices on the third day of her library grind when she finally looks up long enough to realize that he’s wearing them. She realizes that Mark must be blind as a bat, and in one of their brief conversations, Mark explains that he usually wears night contacts. Since he doesn’t sleep that much these days, though, they’re effectively useless. He hates the glasses and finds them tedious, but Rowan can’t help but wish that she had a pair too. She’s had night contacts for almost five years now, but since she wears them so rarely, she has to squint at everything. She thinks it gives her a permanently befuddled and suspicious expression.

Midterms are torture. Rowan doesn’t walk out of any of her exams feeling confident, but it seems like nobody does, so maybe that’s just a common thing. She hopes. By Friday, though, it’s all over, and at least Rowan can say she’s done for a couple of days. She’s exhausted and decides that maybe instead of celebrating she’ll just stay in the dorm and watch some stuff on YouTube.

Rowan is watching a Chinese game show that evening when her phone starts buzzing from across the room. Crawling over to the end up of the bed, she reaches out and barely pulls it off her desk without losing her balance and hastily accepts the call without looking at the caller ID.

“What’s up?” she says, half-expecting it to be Eden asking her to drop her charger off somewhere again.

Mark’s voice rings out over the phone. “Hey, it’s Mark. You busy right now? Want to go to karaoke?”

Rowan’s face lights up. Although she’s absolutely awful and knows she’s awful, she usually never turns down an opportunity to sing. She hesitates this time, though: she’s tired, she’s in her pajamas, and she really doesn’t want to get up.

“Uhh…” she starts. “I’m not exactly busy right now, but I already showered today and I don’t really want to--”

Mark interrupts her. “No, you need to have some fun today! I’ll be outside Debussy in 10 minutes. You better be there or I’m going to drag you out of your room in your PJ’s.” And with that, he hangs up.

Rowan stares at her phone in bewilderment. Sighing, she hauls herself out of bed and starts rummaging her drawers for the biggest hoodie she can find. If she’s going to be leaving her dorm tonight, she better at least be comfortable.

Her phone starts to ring just as she makes it to the lounge on the first floor of her dorm. She picks it up quickly, “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she says. “I still have two minutes!”

But this time it’s actually Eden.

“Wait, what?” she says. “Where are you going? I was about to ask you if you wanted to go to karaoke with some of the guys you met a couple weeks ago.”

Oh. That’s convenient. Rowan quickly explains to her that Mark’s already invited her and tells her she’ll meet her there, hanging up just as she reaches Mark, who’s sitting down on one of the benches by the front door.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Ready,” she says.

[shadow-library]

Rowan: Ch. 1

Rowan thinks it might be awkward if she approaches Mark now. He’s chatting loudly in the far corner of the hallway with his friends, and she tells herself there will be a better time.

 You see, Mark had accidentally taken one of her textbooks last week after class. She likes to sit in the second row, slightly off center, and he, well, to be quite honest, she hadn’t even known Mark was enrolled in the course until that day. It was to her great bewilderment when he had casually slipped into the seat next to hers last Wednesday. Mark had given her a brief nod when he caught one of her occasional glances, but for the most part he took notes diligently and had his eyes glued to the professor. Then, after the professor ended class, Mark had promptly rushed off with her textbook and she had been too surprised to call after him.

 They used to know each other, Rowan thinks, but it must have been years ago. Through some acquaintance of an acquaintance she had learned Mark’s name, but it wasn’t like there was anything particular between them, was there? So why had he sat down next to her?

Maybe she was just being paranoid. There’s nothing special about a seat, and there’s certainly nothing special about her. Yet she’s been trying to shake the feeling that something is amiss all weekend. She knows there could have been various other reasons why Mark might’ve sat there: perhaps he had forgotten his contacts, maybe he wanted to get back into the professors good graces. Regardless, the bothersome task of retrieving her textbook still remains.

 In the evening, Rowan makes her daily trip to the library to once again torture herself with the figurative stacks of homework she had, but finds him sitting at the table she always sits at. Another daily library-goer, Will, whom she’s become pretty close with over tedious study nights, shoots her a curious glance before flitting his eyes back to her table where Mark now sits.

 Sighing, she shifts the weight on her backpack that seems to be growing heavier with every second, and decides that now is as good as a time as any to ask for her textbook back. However, before she even gets a word out, he says “Sit.” with such a commanding tone that she obeys and situates herself squarely across from him before she even realizes it.

 “Um, hi,” she gets out. “What are you doing here?”

 “I took your textbook last week, didn’t I?” is all he says. Without looking up, he pulls it from his backpack and places it on the table.

 That doesn’t explain how he knew she was going to be here at this time, but she silently grabs her textbook anyways. Opening up her backpack, she tries again. “How’d you know to find me here today?”

 All Rowan gets in response was a noncommittal shrug. He still hasn’t looked up from his laptop, which he’s now furiously typing away on.

 Fine, she thinks. But she isn’t just going to yield her table to him. She pulls out her laptop and opens up her notes from today’s lecture. She has an essay due tomorrow that she’s barely started, but she still has the rest of the night. Grumbling about how she isn’t even a liberal arts major and why did engineers still have to write, she plugs in her headphones. At this mini outburst, though, Mark finally lifts his head with a brief chuckle, shaking his head slightly. Embarrassed that he had heard her, Rowan’s face heats up slightly, but she keeps her eyes firmly on the screen of her laptop, refusing to acknowledge the moment.

 The rest of the evening passes without incident, the clicking of the keys on both of their keyboards the only noise coming from their table and the now nearly-empty library. At some point, she must have come to some sort of silent agreement with him, for Mark, after taking a short trip to the vending machine, wordlessly sets down two Starbucks doubleshot cans and nudges one in front of her. She had emitted a small noise of surprise, but eventually murmured a thanks after she recovered, cracking it open and taking a much needed sip of caffeine.

 Finally, at 2am (an early night for her), Rowan deems her essay pass-worthy and closes her laptop with a satisfying snick. Mark’s perceptive gaze follows her hands and he slowly begins to pack up as well. Shrugging on her jacket, she finds herself standing by the table to wait for him to finish.

 After exiting the library, she asks, “Which direction are you going?”. The chilly wind of late fall howls slightly and blows leaves into the walkway ahead.

 “That way.” Mark points to East Campus. “Da Vinci Hall.”

 “Oh, I live in Debussy.” she says. “That’s close, right?”

 Humming a sound of mild agreement, he nods and sets off at a moderate pace in the general direction. They walk in relative silence, and she feels a strange sense of calm as she does so, glad to not be expected to talk for once.

 They arrive at Debussy first, and she waves a brief goodbye before heading into the dorms. Although the boy had been so strange tonight, her brain was too fuzzy to analyze the weird occurrence at the moment. Her roommate Eden is still awake when she opens the door to their room quietly, but she doesn’t seem to be doing any work. After asking her how her day had went and talking for a bit, Rowan sets her alarm and promptly falls asleep without brushing her teeth.

 The next day Rowan has just one class, and ends up spending the afternoon at a local coffee shop, during which she downs at least three cups of hot chai tea, a drink that she’s grown very fond of recently. After grabbing a small dinner at East Side dining, she realizes belatedly that it’s Friday. Should she do something fun? The only thing she can think of is binge watch a TV show or play some cards with friends. Although not shy by any means, Rowan doesn’t really have a thing for parties and instead prefers smaller hangouts.

 Then she remembers her research project, which has a deadline in the startlingly near future. Sighing, she decides maybe she’ll go to the library today too. At that moment, Aspen Ardor, her friend from her machine learning class walks in, looking quite disheveled. He approaches the table hastily and asks, “Can you go to the library today with me? I have to go home over the weekend so I need to get my work done now, but I don’t want to be alone,” he says with a slight pout.

 Laughing, she agrees without telling him she had already made resolutions to go anyways. As she packs up, her mind wanders back to last night when that boy, Mark, had sat across from her. He wouldn’t be there again today, would he? She still hasn’t made up her mind about exactly what had happened and why it had happened yet. Shaking her head to rid herself of the strange feeling that washed over her, she stands up to go to the library with Aspen.

 The library is mostly empty when they get there, most students probably off having real dinners and real food. More importantly, however, she hasn’t sighted Mark yet. Taking her spot at her regular table with Aspen, she feels sudden urge to take a nap. Mumbling to Aspen that she’s just going to take a 5-minute cat nap, she lays her head down on top of her bunched up jacket and closes her eyes.

 Rowan is awakened by the fire alarm going off. Opening her eyes groggily, she sees that the sky is already dark and that Aspen has already left. Slightly peeved that he didn’t even bother to tell her he was leaving, she quickly shoves her laptop back into her backpack and throws on her coat. The fire alarm is probably a mistake again--there’s already been multiple fire alarms go off at 3am this semester in her dorm and it’s really starting to get on her nerves.

 On her way out, she sees Will and gets waved over. “Hey, what’s up?” she says as she approaches him. With black-rimmed glasses and a mop of brown hair on his head, Will looks like a nerd, but an adorable one. He’s alone today, like he usually is when he comes to the library, but Rowan knows he’s pretty active with a lot of computer science organizations on campus. She thinks she might’ve even seen him at the artificial intelligence symposium she attended the other day.

 “No sleep last night?” Will’s quirks up into a smile at her sleep-deprived face. “I think I left before you yesterday.”

 Rowan shakes her head sadly. “Alas, no,” she proclaims, throwing a hand on her forehead for dramatic effect. “I had a lot of chai today, though, so we’re all good.”

 Will nods his head in agreement. After showing him the coffee shop she frequents, Will’s also become obsessed with chai, and sometimes after class she sees him sitting at a table at the cafe surrounded by dozens of empty cups.

 “Who was that guy with you yesterday?” he inquires, interested to know who was brave enough to sit at your table. There was an unspoken rule at the library--some tables were just reserved for those who practically lived there, the most famous of course being Will, and then perhaps her.

 “Mark,” she responds. “He’s in my discrete math class and he took my textbook last week by accident so he was returning it. But I never told him I come here. It’s so weird, don’t you think?”

 Will’s eyebrows jump at this and he leans in closer to her. “What if he’s a creep?” he whispers conspiratorially, looking left and right. “How does he know you sit at that table? He was there at least 20 minutes before you arrived.”

 Rowan frowns. This was something she had been thinking about too, and as nonchalantly nice as Mark was yesterday, she has to admit that it does seem stalker-like of him to wait at her library table. But she ends up just shrugging and casts a weary look at Will. “I don’t know Will, I’m too tired for this shit.”

 The alarms finally stopped blaring, but by now it’s nearly 7pm. Rowan decides to give up on working for the day. Turning to Will, she asks, “Hey Will, do you wanna get some chai? We can go to--” He starts nodding before she's even finished asking. 

[shadow-library]

and so her life passed by 

without incident

[shadow-library]

I always thought that if they were to make a movie for The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare, this would be a perfect song for the soundtrack. If you've read the series you might understand what I mean.

[shadow-library]

there is no

silver lining

for people

like me.

[shadow-library]

“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. Or you don’t.”

— Stephen King, The Stand

[shadow-library]

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

is a recent favorite of mine. It’s a historical fiction, which is not my favorite genre, but there is something about the way Doerr tells this story that creates the good sort of pit in your stomach. It’s a story of how two people’s lives somehow become connected through war and death. Don’t be discouraged by its World War II setting, it’s really less about war tactics, battle, and Hitler than it is about these two individuals. 

[shadow-library]

One must always be careful of books and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.

Teresa Gray in Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare

[shadow-library]

pretty words and phrases to use when writing

Rivulets

Cascaded/cascading

Cacophony

Ephemeral

Ethereal

Twinkling

Threatening to take over

Chorus (of shouts/laughter)

Puzzled/puzzling

Fact of life

And then I was falling…

Tilted/threw his/her head back and laughed

The sound of sunlight/stars/moonlight

Visibly shaking

Lifted a trembling hand and whispered

Eyes, begging for…

Alarmed, he/she backed away

Knew the feeling all too well