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[sigzaiofficial]

“I wish you were a girl”

Kunizai Fanfic — (originally posted on Ao3)

Themes;

Smut, Angst, inanimate object x human

Warning: Very mediocre writing.

Summary:

Dazai's feelings race through his heart, intoxicating his lungs and sending a deep black smoke rippling through his body as if it were a fatal drug.

His dreams fill with Kunikida's lips slowly kissing over every inch of the brunette's skin.

Until he wakes up, and Kunikida is planning to marry a woman in the near future. Dazai isn't in his cards. Dazai is just a footnote in the story of Kunikida's life, whilst Dazai would write Kunikida's name on every page of his.

His delicate fingers drift over the page, the edge of his nail gliding against the thin paper as he writes with a soft black pen.

Dazai let his front teeth sink into his lip, his tongue slowly pushing up against the roof of his mouth. He let out soft breaths, staring aimlessly at the man in front of him. The blonde idealist wrote carefully onto the page, unaware of the brunette staring just a few feet away from him.

Staring was an understatement. He hadn't realized just how gorgeous his co-worker was. It was only a bit ago that he had first had a realization.

“Kunikida-kun!” Dazai shouted, a smile playing gently on his lips. They had just finished a mission. “You were incredible out there!” He said, his tone so soft. So genuine. “Elementary.” Kunikida responded, writing in his notebook. He had an overly serious expression, the notebook resting against his fingers gently. “Your turn to compliment me, Kunikida!” Dazai cooed. “On the contrary. You were terrible out there, almost got us killed.” Kunikida said, finally looking up. Dazai felt his heart flutter. He took a deep breath. His palms were sweating, his eyes unable to divert. He had Kunikida's full attention, and fuck did it feel good.

“Dazai?” Kunikida asked. “You're staring.”

Ah. Reality. Dazai had been staring. “Apologies.” He replied, smiling. “What can I say, you truly are a remarkable man.” Dazai said softly. “Whatever.” Kunikida chuckled, setting down his notebook. “I must be off. Errands. I won't be back for about an hour or so.” Kunikida directed his eyes to Dazai. “Do me a favor and refrain from starting trouble while I'm gone, will you?” He asked, receiving but a nod in return. Then he was gone. Leaving Dazai alone, with nothing but an empty notebook.

The rest of the agency was away on their own missions, and Fukuzawa was silent in his office. The brunette knew he had to be quiet, nonetheless.

He gripped the notebook, his touch gentle. He slowly glided open the pages, his breath hitching as he read over the neat handwriting. ‘ideal woman’ He eventually got to, scoffing. He let a grin take over his expression, sliding a thumb over the page. He reached a hand down.

His buckle was open, then his belt dropped to the floor. His button and fly quickly ending up undone, his dick bulging through his boxers.

Dazai gently slipped his cock from through the opening in his undergarments. He placed it through the opening that was once closed by the zipper of his pants, now unzipped. He was hard. Clearly from watching the blonde. Dazai took his dick in his hand, slowly rubbing over his tip. He took a shaky breath, tilting his head back with anticipation. He knew this was pathetic of him. Kunikida was straighter than a line and Dazai was a man. Wondering helplessly that maybe if he were a woman, Kunikida would feel some sort of love for him. Yet he knew that would never happen, not in this universe. And he could only hope for the next. He was left sitting in an empty office room, his pants down. Craving for an item Kunikida holds so dearly that he hopefully has a part of himself in it that Dazai can engulf himself in.

The brunette slipped his cock between the pages, his dick running over each ideal for a woman that Kunikida has. His meaty flesh draped over the words that read the complete opposite of what Dazai was. The words that explained just the person Dazai wished he could exist as.

“Fuck..” He groaned, his breathing unsteady. His thrusts between the notebook were quick. The wetness dampened the pages, the paper turning slightly transparent around the gentle writing Kunikida had tried so hard to convince himself that he wanted. Dazai knew what he wanted. To ruin it.

He continued thrusting his cock into the notebook, heavy breaths and quiet groans filling the room. A bead of sweat dripping down his cheek and falling into his hand, clenched around the desk. He let his teeth dip into the soft skin of his lip, his thighs trembling. And he came. Right onto the pages. He let everything stop, the thrusts, the heavy breathing, the grip onto the table, the thoughts of ruining Kunikida's perfect image. He just the mess take over his senses, the white cum spilled over the letters.

‘My idea’— and cum was spilt over the rest of the sentence. He exhaled at that, a smile over his lips. No more ideal woman. The requirements were taken over by Dazai, and every time Kunikida held the hand of the woman he already knew he would marry in six years; he would remember the pages. The pages would haunt his memories like the ghosts he feared so dearly. Dazai would take over his mind as if Kunikida had never seen the light of day and he would love every moment of it.

The notebook closed. Yet not by the hands of Osamu Dazai, the hand instead holding a pen between the index and middle fingers.

“It appears I have forgotten my notebook.” Kunikida said, looking down at Dazai. His heart had shattered at the sight. He felt torn. Between his ideals and duties, his childhood and his environment; and the gentle look in the eyes of someone who has always been but a stranger to him.

“I think you should go.” Kunikida added.

And Dazai knew Kunikida longed for him. He could see the look in his eyes as he saw Dazai so desperate for some sort of validation of his feelings. Yet all he received was an apologetic look and a one sided love.

“I love you.” Dazai whispered. It glided off his tongue so naturally, as if he was born to say such words. And he knew he was.

“I wish you were a girl.” Kunikida whispered back. His eyes filled with tears that were immediately forced down, swallowing back an apology, knowing nothing could help ease the pain of a broken heart.

[sigzaiofficial]

Ango = me fr

Reasons why Sakaguchi Ango is the funniest character is bsd:

1. Bro betrayed every single organization under the sun. You'll find at least one person who got betrayed by him on every street of Yokohama.

2. Managed to anger not one, but both of double black and it still alive. Insane.

3. "I can't do this work anymore. I'm going to quit." Continues to do the said work. Doesn't quit.

4. This panel

5. Probably mixes vodka with caffeine

6. I don't think he sleeps either

7. Knows Chuuya hates him. Is lowkey terrified of Chuuya. Also him when Chuuya is within sight: Beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Show stopping. Powerful. Magnificent.

[sigzaiofficial]

Lippman is so gorgeous in this pls one chance I need him sb

[CODE 1]

[sigzaiofficial]

When TachiAku art doesn't exist so you have to make your own😞

[sigzaiofficial]

Fyodor Will Be Fine

Back to writin' this. Assuming that the anime is following hte manga's path (likely), Fyodor's gonna be fine y'all. Eventually.

I mean, first and most obviously, we still don't know Fyodor's ability. That's kinda important lol and set up as a major mystery.

Fyodor as Jesus

Fyodor's last words are "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" aka Jesus' last words (or among his last words). I mean, think about what happens after Jesus dies. It's kinda the whole basis of Christianity.

But there's another layer to the whole Fyodor=Jesus thing. Actually, a couple layers. See, Dostoyevsky was himself very Christian, as much theologian as novelist. So the comparison very much makes sense.

Jesus is the Son of God in Christianity... and Fyodor? He's also the son of God.

God is a Character

This God figure Fyodor references is probably an actual person, and God is probably Tolstoy. I'm sorry but there is 0 chance we are getting Dostoyevsky and a whole host of Russian novelists but not Tolstoy who could have "War and Peace" as his ability. Not to mention... the set up is kinda perfect?

Tolstoy's three novels are War and Peace, Anna Karenina, and... Resurrection. Gee I wonder what his ability might be and how that ties into Fyodor (it's also surely not unheard of for Asagiri to use multiple literary references in an ability).

What is Tolstoy's relationship with Fyodor? Probably a parent-child one. I'd say it's extremely obvious, actually, that parent/child relationships are a main theme of this arc, even if the parental-child relationships are not actual flesh and blood.

Gogol-Fyodor parallel Chuuya-Dazai, Kunikida-Dazai, Tecchou-Jouno, and Atsushi-Akutagawa. All of these pairings also have parental figures (Mori, Fukuzawa, Fukichi, Dazai) except Gogol-Fyodor, who are themselves parental figures to Sigma. I highly doubt Fyogol is the exception, though.

If there is no god, then I am god

Anyways if Tolstoy is introduced, it would kinda be perfect to have him thematically in this role of family. Because the real life Tolstoy was actually terrible to his family despite his altruistic, idealistic pacifism that directly influenced Gandhi (with whom he corresponded). And also because he wrote one of the most famous opening lines in all of literature which would kinda sorta address all the pseudo-parental relationships in the entire story:

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

It fits super perfectly.