staphi

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Whoooooo Halloween is near ( it is only august tho' )

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

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me when they kiss but I know there are horrors incoming

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Did we all see the same fucking video????!!

Thurston's Orange Peel Theory

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i oscillate between:

I am so sorry for you having experienced me, please forgive my transgressions and forget you have ever laid your eyes upon me

and

I AM THE FUCKIGN GREATSR THIGN ON GODS GREEN EARTH AND EVERYONE SHOULD BOW TO ME IN UNISON

what flavour of mental illness is this?

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is this why Arthur got rid of Merlins' jester costume?

Tried fucking my jester last night but the whole castle could hear him jingling :/

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NOOOO I FEEL LIKE I MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY™

i WILL research more on this but untill then IF YOUUUUU HAPPEN TO FIND THE LIVE, SAVED SOMEWHERE, OR A SCREENCAP , JUST NOOOOWWWW THAT I WANT TO BLESS MY EYES

(untill now i couldnt understand what FERALL means, how could you be feral for sumth. GUUUUUURRRLLLLL(gen neutral) I AM FERALLL ITS UNHEALTHY)

EYEYEY HAVE YOU SEEN THE WISHBONE CD POSTERS?? LIKE THE ONE EHERE CONAN IS SITTING IN A CHAIR???? THATS A SIRIUS BLACK REFERENCE FOR SURE LIKE COME ON THAT WHOLE PHOTO?????

This ONE?? Is the only one I can find, but GODDAMN IF HE ISNT SIRIU'S INCARNATE!!!! AND OF ALL THE PEOPLE THAT CAN BE THE "LOVE INTEREST™" he CHOSE someone that resembles REMUS?? how COULD HE??(i am actually tahnkful for this)

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EYEYEY HAVE YOU SEEN THE WISHBONE CD POSTERS?? LIKE THE ONE EHERE CONAN IS SITTING IN A CHAIR???? THATS A SIRIUS BLACK REFERENCE FOR SURE LIKE COME ON THAT WHOLE PHOTO?????

This ONE?? Is the only one I can find, but GODDAMN IF HE ISNT SIRIU'S INCARNATE!!!! AND OF ALL THE PEOPLE THAT CAN BE THE "LOVE INTEREST™" he CHOSE someone that resembles REMUS?? how COULD HE??(i am actually tahnkful for this)

[staphi]

I just had a Thought™

I knoooow its the delusion speaking BUT HEAR ME OUT

WISH - you WISH upon a STAR ??,,!!!?

BONE - a WOLF buries his BONE !@@!?,,???

WISHBONE IS 100% WOLFSTAR YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKSS

Very important question

D'you see the wolfstar in wishbone?? Cause I see wolfstar in wishbone!!

I REFUSE to believe i am delusional. THERE IS SOMEEE WOLFSTAR IN WISHBONE AND I THINK ITS a bit INTENTIONAL.

YES OMFG YES I DO IT'S EVERYWHERE BSBFNSBXNSNND

AND IT'S 100% INTENTIONAL LIKE CONAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING (also checks out with the normal ppl reference in the caramel mv and like other tributes??? like zjxbbxjss he SO would torture us like this) (ALSO THE "THE EXIT" REFERENCE IN THE MV JDBXBDNDJNS) (IM DEVASTATED BTW THAT WAS *NOT* A HAPPY ENDING PPL ARE MISINTERPRETING IT SOOOO HARD)

okok sorry for the yap but YES YES YES idc if it's my brainrot or not atp i will keep seeing wolfstar in there. like???? jsbcksbcke

[staphi]

Ladies and gentleman, read this

Or else....

@staphi this one's for u :) sorry i went REALLY overboard i was just having so much fun ksjfjsj ALSO I GOT LAZY BY THE END AND DIDN'T SPELL-CHECK SO UHH SORRY FOR THAT !!!

anyway if anyone wants a part 2 uhhh idk lmk???

—

"Aren't you hot?"

Remus flips the page. He's not really paying attention to either the book or Peter.

That's what happens when you try to do two things at once. You end up doing none.

Plus, he should probably be watching the pool, shouldn't he?

"I'm always hot," he says, giving up and closing the book. Not quite a summery read, anyway.

Peter rolls his eyes and curls up into a ball in his super comfortable plastic chair. It's not comfortable; it's torture. I'm just sarcastic.

"It's 40° and you're wearing two shirts, Remus," he says, amazed. As if he didn't experience this every day. "Two. One of them long-sleeved."

Remus shrugs, his lip twitching a bit.

"I don't see the problem, my uniform's still visible."

He fidgets with his book for a bit, then puts it in between his and the chair's backs. He then starts to fidget with his whistle.

"Nothing's happened yet, has it?" His friend asks, changing the subject. There's no arguing with Remus, and he knows it. Especially not about the sleeves. "Like, this week?"

Remus hums, shaking his head.

"Nuh." He stares at the pool. "Don't go jinxing it, though."

A kid trips and falls right next to the No Running sign, one of many. Ironic. He tries not to snort a laugh and watches as she gets up, looks around, and keeps running. He blows the red whistle.

"No runnin'! Learn from your mistakes!" He sees the child slow down, kind of sadly, and turns to Peter. "She's literally just faced the consequences herself. You seen her?"

Peter nods. He doesn't look like he cares much.

"She's, like, eight. You were probably the same, her age."

Remus wrinkles his frelcked—and sunburnt—nose in an offended gesture, and huffs.

"At her age, I was too cool for pools."

"Not anymore, I see," his friend grins.

"This is a one-time, I just need the money for—"

A boy head-dives, which is very much forbidden, and Remus purses his lips, ready to blow the whistle at him the second he comes up and out of the water.

Except...

"Ah, fuck's sake," he grumbles, getting our of the chair and leaving both Pete and his book behind. He rushes to look over the edge, where the head-diver's friend tugs at his sleeve. See, sleeves are good.

There's a red spot in the water, right next to the static blob of a person down there.

"I think he hit his head and..."

The poor guy was laughing at first, though he seems genuinely concerned now. That's a good friend right there. Kind of.

"Everyone out the water now!"

He jumps in—like a normal person, not a head dive—and gets the boy, brings him out. He's still not moving.

"Come the fuck on, man..." He whispers to the guy, who is 100% super listening. I'm being sarcastic again. He's got his hair all over his face like that one girl from The Ring. Man, that dude is not conscious at all. "Fuck..."

Remus, trying really, really hard not to lose his shitty summer job for one idiot guy, makes an effort to remember his training.

He puts the guy's hair out of the way and checks whether he's breathing. Yeah. Okay. Not stable at all, barely keeping it together, but okay. Alive.

"Do we... need an ambulance?" the friend asks. He's taken out a pair of glasses from his swimsuit's pocket and is even more shocked at the scene now that he can see it in full HD.

"No."

Remus keeps his focus on the guy. Head on forehead, fingers under the chin. Airway is open. He still can't breathe. He's actually stopped breathing at all.

"Okay, it's fine," he mumbles to himself. "Okay."

He thinks of the training again. No cardiac arrest; no CPR. Straight to breathing.

Okay, then. He pinches the boy's nose, and begins to perform the five initial breaths, mouth to mouth, only stopping for two seconds after each to see if the situation's changed.

One—one, two. Nothing.

Two—one, two. Nothing.

Three—

And, he's gasping for air now. Eyes open. Hi.

"Okay, good, he's not dead," the lifeguard sighs. The dude on the ground just looks around like a confused puppy soaked in chlorine. Remus looks at the friend, the one with the glasses. "What's his name?"

He's also in shock, apparently. Oh, but everything's fine now. No need to worry.

"Er... Sirius."

What a name. Though his parents chose Remus, so he doesn't have much of a say, does he?

"Sirius," he calls, and Sirius looks. "How many fingers do I've up?"

The boy, long, black hair sticking to his face, frowns.

"You flipping me off...?"

Remus nods calmly.

"Okay, no concussion."

The boy—Sirius—is still processing it, though.

"You literally flipped me off?" He says, and tries to mimic Remus when he gets up, but he ends up sitting back down on the ground and taking a hand to the back of his head "Awh, bloody head hurts."

"Yeah, no shit," the lifeguard shrugs, his mind back to the blood splotch on the water. And the chlorine must itch like crazy. "Can you get up? Gonna get you some ice."

Sirius's friend offers a hand and the injured one gets up on his feet, more carefully this time.

"James?" He whispers. Not really a whisper, though. "He flipped me off?"

"Yup, mate," James smiles, kind of sheepishly.

Remus crosses his arms over his—very fashionable—neon yellow shirt.

"So, are you okay?"

Sirius, the just-resucitated, scowls at him, probably still resenting the finger gesture.

"Fuck you?"

He shrugs.

"I just saved your life...? But, okay."

"But—" Sirius tries, and has to stop himself mid-sentence to roll his eyes up, as if he'll see his skull if he tries hard enough. "Ouch with the fucking head!"

"You probs need to sit," says the responsible one, reminding himself that he needs the job. He turns to James. "Bring him inside."

So James does. The bespectacled boy is then asked to make sure everyone leaves the pool—except Pete. Those two just sit and talk for a while, since that is apparently all that there's to do. Even if they've never spoken before, they certainly won't run out of conversation topics.

Inside, the opposite happens. Well, not exactly opposite. The two boys inside the lifeguard's hut also don't know each other, and talking is also one of the very little options—but conversation isn't flowing as smoothly as it should.

"You flipped me off!" Sirius is saying. Remus sighs and texts his boss, to tell him they had to close early. He really fucking needs to clean everything before tomorrow morning. "Like I woke up and you flipped me off!"

Sigh.

"Well, you cracked your skull in my pool. Now no one can go in the water 'cause of sanitary reasons and I'll probably lose this crap of a job that's keeping me afloat while I'm outta school, so I'd my reasons to, didn't I?"

Sirius doesn't move. Not a twitch.

"You talk fast," he says, sort of grinning. Only sort of.

"Yeah." Remus blinks. He's been told before, obviously, just never like that. It's usually reproaches and attempts to change him, and never just noticing it as a part of who he is. Which is weird. And not cool. And really weird. He walks to the mini fridge, fast. "I said I'd get you some ice, lemme grab that."

He hears Sirius hum, and keeps walking.

"How's your head?"

He opens the fridge, grabs a cold gel pack and wraps it in a cloth to avoid burns.

"I mean, I've never had any complaints."

He walks back to Sirius's side, and hands him the ice with a nonchalant expression.

"Ha, ha."

It was actually kinda funny. Plus, RuPaul reference.

"Thanks," the injured one mutters. "It's fine now. Hurts, but fine."

Remus just nods.

"You don't see double or anything, right?" He tries, smiling a bit to show it's not really a huge concern. Just a joke. Though it would be a problem if he did see double.

Sirius catches the tone and immediately turns his twitched lip into a grin.

"Hmm, I see an idiot wearing stupid neon and a guy that's pissed at me, but... Oh, wait, they're both you!"

Remus snorts a laugh.

"Yeah, you're fine to leave." He gets up from his plastic chair and Sirius does the same. "You're welcome for saving your life, you can go home and keep putting ice on that head."

"Wait. You didn't, like—" he winces at the gold gel hitting raw skin. Looks back up. "You didn't literally save my life, did you?"

"Probably not," he lifeguard shurgs. "I did blow air into your lungs, though."

Ah, he's playing cool. He does feel kind of proud to have remembered the procedure, even under a huge ball of stress and anger. 'Cause he's angry, too. There's at least like twenty signs scattered around the place with the very clear pictogram of No head diving. Come on, man; really?

"What? So you kissed me without my permission?"

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Well, I wasn't gonna ask," he responds. He's standing by the open door now, arms crossed. Will Sirius catch the hint? Probably not. "You were kinda K.O."

"God, it was probably an awful kiss."

Seriously? I mean, Siriusly? Damn, I'm so funny.

"It wasn't a kiss," Remus insists. "I was pinching your nose and counting to five like a stupid kid. And you were passed out. Not a kiss."

Sirius grins.

"I mean, it's pretty much like those films where—"

Nope.

"It wasn't. It's not. You're imagining things 'cause of the head injury." He lets his arms fall onto his side, then crosses them again. Fuck, long sleeves are fucking him up good. "Go home."

"Alright, alright," Sirius concedes, raising his hand—the one that's not holding the ice pack—as if arrested by the police. He doesn't move at first, then drops the pose, looks at Remus. "I wouldn't have said no, by the way. If you'd asked and I wasn't unconscious."

Remus huffs.

"If you weren't unconscious I wouldn't have had to reanimate you."

Sirius rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. But I wouldn't've." He stares for a beat longer, then shrugs and goes for the door. "'Kay, bye."

"Wait."

A hand on his shoulder. Sirius turns back. The sun is hitting his face now, halfway out the hut.

"What?" He grins, mockingly. "Want a second round?"

Remus fakes a gag.

"Eugh. No. Just..." Damn, he needs to process the sentence before dropping it. "Just ring me here tomorrow. To know if the thing's healing alright."

Is this standard procedure, you may ask? Nope. Special treatment. Isolated case.

"Will do," Sirius nods.

"Or you can come by and let me check," Remus keeps saying. "Whatever's cool."

Very nonchalant. Totally not sweating like he just run a marathon.

"Okay," Sirius says, half-grin starting to show in his face.

"Just—just don't head dive again. The signs are there for a reason."

The grin is huge now, and uncontrollable, but he Sirius his best to seem serius—haha—and nods.

"Noted."

Yeah... Silence.

"See you, I guess."

Yeah.

"Yup. See you."

The boy leaves the place, taking his friend with him, and Remus takes a minute for himself to press his back against the wall and, eyes closed, breathe. Just breathe.

It does look like one of those movies, doesn't it? A meet-cute.

"Damn..."

[staphi]

I need wolfstar fandom to asemble.

There was a fic , the only thing i remember is sirius and remus go to the bathroom (at a party?), each with another person, one of them(remus maybe?) is getting sucked off , the other (i think) it's getting kissed on the neck or something, each are in a corner of the bathroom but they make intense eye contact.

I knooow i have it saved somewhere but i can't remeber which fic, where, when, anything

pls help

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do you take commisions? I have a list of ....not so dear.... people.....

*kicks feet excitedly* SOOO, who's blood do you crave to see out of their body? *giggles*

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i think more slutencouraging and less sluthsaming would heal the world tbh

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@thepicklekingog release the cat pictures. GIVE US WHAT WE CRAVE. (in a loving way ofc)

notes game because I uhhh I uh I

ok I need to say that I am NOT doing very well mentally. I’m switching back and forth from ok to not, so if you are a moot who has talked me through one of these down periods or a moot who talked to me yesterday or something when I was fine, please understand it changes on the daily.

this will be a mix of mental health AND fun things, to balance out the good and the bad days.

10 notes — YIPPEEE!!!! I’ll answer ONE ask in my inbox at a time

30 notes — I’ll post my poems on my alt @iwritealotandidontsleep

50 notes — I’ll go to sleep (💔) @whatonearthisgoingon, you win this time

70 notes — I’ll go for a walk to the lake and try to clear my head…

90 notes — I’ll actually try to get my hygiene under control. (clean clothes. brushing teeth. washing face. etc.)

100 notes — AHHH cool. I’ll do an outline for a chapter of my story (I never do outlines)

150 notes — I’ll start eating healthily and at normal times (eating full plates, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner)

200 notes — I’ll do a non-screen activity (GOD FORBID DON’T DO THIS TO ME) like thrifting, painting, drawing, writing, etc.

250 notes — y’all are too much. I’ll start drinking water 🙄🙄🙄

300 notes — OH??? I don’t think we’ll get here, but I’ll stop beating myself up about everything. I’ll start reading positive affirmations or something and grow as a person to be more accepting of myself. (cringe ikr)

400 notes — ok fine. I’ll start working on that byler analysis video and the s5 predictions slideshow

500 notes — impossible. I’ll start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier. fixing my sleep schedule ig. once again I know aaro would/will be proud.

600+ notes — I’ve never gotten this many but I’ll post photos of my brother’s cats. that’s the carrot for you donkeys (NOT meant to be an insult, just like treasure for a pirate, y’know??)

green = done

pink = started

red = not started

[staphi]

GOD IS A WOMAN! I REPEAT! GOD. IS. A. WOMAN. I FCKIN KNEWW ITT

:starts agressively frolicking in the street:

I could take God

[staphi]

Guuuuuuurrrrllll (gender neutral)

The words you're saying to me....make so much sense. Why do I like these type of men? Is there a therapist on tumblr that can explain? Sure as hell ain't gonna tell my irl therapist about this.

Whattabout: bloody&pathetic remus, on his knees, a few tears on his face, complete trust that nothing gonna happen to him, and completely in love. He's gonna take whatever you give him, even a punch, or especially a punch. Loose and maybe ripped tshirt hanging and revealing a shoulder. Messy hair ofc. Swollen lips?? OR: same as above but instead of kneeling he is awaiting outside a bar, sitting on the ground next to a wall, knees drawn to his chest, hands resting on his knees, you only see his eyes like that Michelangelo painting. Broken street light above.

I'll stop now before I get more carried away 😅

heeeey mr foxwing

How you doooin'?

You got more of that bloody Renus? I loove bloody and pathetic Remus

HIIIII 🤓🤓🤓 just returned from the beach for the 5th time this week so im feeling great

i also loooove bloody pathetic remus and i think he should always be bloodier and pathetic-er. he should cry during sex with a nosebleed and a black eye as pathetically as possible. let me see what i can do 😏

[staphi]

Look, i'm sure i'm gonna like it, 100%, i'll read it tomorrow 'cause it's fuck-thirty at night where i am

Opened ao3 to save the link, 1st thing i see, 1st thing my eyes wander to?

Hell yeah brotha' ! Amen!

New fic alert! (completed & on ao3!)

I'm so glad I can now share with you the fic I wrote for Moony's Midlife Crisis Fest 2025!!!

Put your stain on me

Explicit 31 k fic Wolfstar, post-war and canon-divergent (thanks Merlin!) AU.

Remus is a tattoo artist. A depressed and lonely Sirius discovers his studio and decides to get a tattoo as a symbol of reclaiming his life post-war. He also discovers he likes being touched by the unconventional and mysterious tattoo artist very much. Alas, things are a bit complicated on both sides…

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

“I really wanted to apologise for the confusion,” Sirius muttered. He couldn't stop staring at the man and the way his eyes half-closed every time he took another bite of the pastry, only to open again to reveal the two coloured eyes, the dark and the amber. One seemed to reflect hunger. The other sparkled with mischief.

Sirius tried to regain his ability to carry on a civilised conversation: “And I, uh…” Great, now he was stuttering. “I also wanted to know more about what you do?”

"Is that so?" The man looked at him with a questioning look, waiting for him to continue.

Truly, Sirius didn't really want to pursue it. But the man's glaze was open and friendly, and he was waiting patiently for him to explain further, so he sighed and added, “I do have one tattoo I'd rather not have anymore, but I can't remove it.” He looked down at the floor before adding in a whisper, "I hate it."

Link to ao3!