starsonmars22

[starsonmars22]

Just wanna be loved like I love

[starsonmars22]

When discord deletes a safe place to talk about your issues. Dm me for the new server 💙

[starsonmars22]

if you cant donate please engage i need help so badly https://gofund.me/f4be9dee

[starsonmars22]

This guy left us for the great beyond last night. R.I.P baby boy

[starsonmars22]

amazing news!!

GUYS i submitted my background check on Monday for my name change and I got some mail yesterday. My name change has been approved by the court!!! My dead name is gone!

[starsonmars22]

excited!

i ordered my first stp and it shipped today. I'm super excited to be able to feel comfortable in the men's restroom! hopefully I'm able to use it properly, I know it'll take some practice. if anyone has tips I'd love to hear them!

[starsonmars22]

My fears have come true. I was always worried that once I start testosterone my dysphoria would get worse (due to the higher chance of passing.) Now that I've had a small voice drop, sometimes people call me sir and that feels amazing. The only thing is, it hurts a lot more to be called miss now. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. My chest dysphoria is worse because if it weren't for these DDD cup boobs, I might actually stand a chance. The need for top surgery is so much higher now but I'm still not any closer to my goal. Also being mid-transition in this political climate makes me feel so unsafe. If anyone thought for a second about why I "seem off" they would be able to clock me. I live in a red state. I hope I find a way to get surgery soon or I dont know what will happen

[starsonmars22]

Had my appointment to check my t levels and everything looks good, so no adjustments needed. Im 14 weeks on now and still feeling pretty good other than my throat. Im not sure if im getting sick or if this is normal pain associated with the voice changes but hopefully it passes soon. Its quite uncomfy haha

[starsonmars22]

T update

Only a few days until I'm 2 months on testosterone! I am so grateful that I was finally able to do this. I'm so much happier now than I've been in a while. I've noticed my voice is starting to drop and my peach fuzz is all turning brown. You can only see it in the sunlight, but I have a little peach fuzz beard, and I'm so happy about it lol. Here's hoping I'm able to get my dose upped to full at the end of Jan since I'm only on a half dose right now.

[starsonmars22]

GUYS i have my first chin hair. its only been 6 weeks that is so bomb

[starsonmars22]

spare change?

[starsonmars22]

i start testosterone tomorrow!!

[starsonmars22]

Im getting so impatient tbh

[starsonmars22]

Venting

Today I'm having a femme day which has lowkey turned my world upside down. I've been in a masc state for many months now, and I thought I was just letting go of denial and "coming into" my transness, but here I am. I hate it when this happens. It makes my imposter syndrome run rampant. Its almost like these once-in-a-blue-moon femme days totally eclipse the intense dysphoria I feel almost every other day. Now I'm sat here questioning if I'm really who I've been saying I am for nearly a year now, and it's the same every time. I can't fathom how anybody would think that we choose this. I'd give anything if I could just be cis.

[starsonmars22]

New Job

Tomorrow I sta4rt my new job at Burger King. I know that isnt the most exciting news, but its happy for me because they offer insurance which will help with my transition expenses. Also two of my previous coworkers work there so I will already know somebody and wont feel so alone. I hope everything goes well!

[starsonmars22]

Good afternoon friends. Do you ever post on reddit? Seems like every single person on there thinks they know way more than you about everything. Its such an incredibly toxic environment and I keep forgetting why I never use it. Apparently 100s of strangers on the internet know that I actually eat way more than I say I do, and that's why I'm having trouble with weight loss. Because overeating is obviously the ONLY reason anyone would be overweight, right? FFS its so infuriating. I just want someone to hear me.

[starsonmars22]

updated with a lot more detail on my story and some photos! thanks for checking it out and sharing ^^