#&/or simply to try to get their [being a person] to stop being a roadblock to their existence aligning w/only what you want from them

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also quite the illustration in wags being like "'not asking permission' - wags" and plowing through someone expressing a physical boundary but he was already intending to use physical violence & violation & assumed corresponding distress as a tool to get his way....amidst the typicality, "correctness," permissibility of all that around here like five times an hour

[lost-in-fandoms]

I know maybe you're not in the mood right now but any thoughts about Tarzan!Max? I'd accept thoughts about any of your pics because everything is amazing tbh but there's something about Tarzan!Max discovering a new world through Daniel and discovering how amazing is to fall in love.

Does Daniel take him to his farm? I think Max in Daniel's farm would be hilarious, amazed by everything and finding a family in Daniel's family too.

babe i am always down to talk about my boy in all and any situations! sorry this took a while, i took a little nap and then couldn't think about anything but!!!

(the first thing I thought was like..how do you get a whole person through customs. obviously max doesn't have a passport or any form of id so would they have to go through a sort of immigration procedure? but he's not emigrating from anywhere???? i guess i'll leave that problem to them sdfbdjhbf)

I love the idea of Daniel taking Max to his farm.

I'm imagining like. The jungle is Max's home right? But I imagine he's a little less in contact with his monkey pack. He likes to wander around and he has his own little hidey holes and his own places to sleep. So when he imprints on Daniel, he sees Daniel's "pack" as his new family. (and I am now thinking about Max trying to "groom" Daniel or Josh or whoever, gently raking his fingers through their hair and fiddling with their clothes and cleaning dirt smudges away after licking his thumb).

So when Daniel asks if Max wants to go with them, both because he can't imagine leaving another human being in the jungle and because he can't imagine leaving Max behind, Max goes. And in whatever way they manage to do it, Daniel brings him to his farm.

He understands that Max will probably never be ready to live in a city or close to a lot of people, he needs to be close to nature, and even if the nature in Daniel's farm is different from the jungle, it's still better than most options.

I imagine at first Max will struggle to adapt. He is used to have a lot of space to roam, to have trees to swing from, a whole different climate, a whole different diet. and now Daniel asks he wears at least underwear and a tshirt most of the time, he has to eat different foods, it rains so much less? where is the rain? how is he supposed to be clean if there is no river?

Daniel has to really help him through a lot. it helps that Max is learning to communicate more and more every day, but sometimes they bump into a new roadblock that they weren't expecting, and Daniel is reminded about how different Max's life has been so far. (would love to explore an overstimulated-by-electronic-noises max when i have more energy maybe. or a deeply-sad-because-where-is-my-jungle max)

But I think Max also really enjoys learning new things. He is delighted by some of the simplest things, which makes Daniel look at life in a different way too. How did he never realise how amazing forks and knives are? why does he think so little about how incredible it is to be able to make ice in his own freezer? the wonders of a ceiling fan???

I can picture Max spending long minutes just staring at things. Clocks, the washing machine, the fan, the turned off television, the kitchen sink tap. turning lights on and off. flushing the toilet over and over. And I can also picture him taking apart stuff and then (try to) put it back together, like the toaster (was never the same), the blender (was left with several pieces on the counter), the tv remote (tried to eat the buttons).

Max being terrified of Daniel's phone and then, when he gets used to it, absolutely fascinated by it. Asking so many questions about everything that Daniel doesn't know the answer to and forcing him to look them up because Max will simply not stop asking until he has a satisfying answer.

On the other hand, Max taking care of the vegetable garden and the animals. Being so incredible at it that it becomes mainly his job. They're different from the animals he's used to, but he is amazed by the chickens and loves them so much. Sometimes he likes to just sit with them and pet them softly. He becomes best friends with the donkey and the alpacas. maybe Daniel gets him bunnies and at first he's worried Max will kill them when he's hungry, but Max is so so gentle with them and loves them all so much.

And in all this, Max loves Daniel. He does his best to make Daniel food, gives him little "gifts" (eggs from the chickens, tomatoes from the garden, a clean sweater straight from the drier, a glass of water with clinking ice), curls up around him at night because he always refuses to sleep in his own bed. He's very protective of Daniel and gets upset when Daniel needs to leave the farm for errands or other things.

And Daniel shifts from I am very fond of this weird jungle boy to I would very much love to sleep in your arms for the rest of my life with a side of oh my god when is this beefy jungle guy gonna rail me. He sees how gentle and sweet and smart Max is, how quickly he learns about things and adapt to this new life, how interested he is about everything, how he takes care of Daniel, the farm, the animals, and can't help but fall in love with it all.

And the first time Daniel kisses Max at the farm, they're on the couch, Max watching something on the tv, almost without blinking, and Daniel watching Max. He calls his name and when Max turns (because Daniel will always be more important than anything else, even if the guy in the tv is cooking beef and Max is kind of hungry) Daniel kisses him. Max stays still for a bit and then when Daniel pulls back Max licks his cheek in response. It's not perfect, but Daniel can teach him. and Max always learns.

[grumpybunny-edith]

Furry HRT comics have been something my brain kinda constantly returns to over the last... since people started making them, and so just like anything else I'm really invested in, I feel like I need to analyze them as a phenomenon a little bit.

In some ways, I feel like the most popular formats of these comics are informed by a traditional or uncomplicated view of medical transition. Every character is presented as being able to get an appointment pretty simply, and all live in proximity to their endo. Their initial appointment usually sucks, but characters get what they're looking for and generally don't experience any more roadblocks. The meds people take are always compatible with them, and do not cause any unexpected or adverse side effects.

There's also the assumption in many of these comics that transition has a definite "end". There exists a point where a character is "done", more or less, which isn't accurate to transgender experiences and pushes some of the harmful narrative perpetuated by the medical system. This structure, as well as the fact that furry HRT generally functions more quickly than transgender HRT, is helpful to the format of the stories as short-form narratives, as it helps create a satisfying conclusion.

This is all great for what the format and narratives seem to be trying to convey. Even in amongst the body horror which is common to the narrative, which is in itself useful for exploring how something many view as horrible or uncanny (such as gender transition), they are stories about trans joy. They're about some of the adversity we face, finding happiness among that adversity, and sharing in it with our communities. They're also about finding an authentic self through a medical process that isn't seen in reality, and how regardless of how strange people find something, happiness and self love are what is most important.

But also, when I reflect on these narratives, I sometimes struggle to see myself in them. I'm a person who has spent her entire time medically transitioning dealing with shitty, non-fantastical roadblocks; and it's never the fault of a shitty doctor. Prescriptions take a long time to deliver, insurance doesn't wanna cover it, drugs don't work properly (or sometimes too well, and my doctor starts thinking I have a tumor in my brain), that kind of stuff.

And part of why this bums me out is that there's still so much joy there. It takes more work to love oneself when you spend a month or two off for every three months on, but it's a beautiful thing when you do. There's a whole side of the community engaging with things like DIY HRT, helping and looking after one another even when the medical system won't. There's also people microdosing HRT, either because they're unsure how they feel about it, or there's something in the "in-between" that feels right for them.

Of course artists should put to the page the stories that they want to tell. This post honestly was helping me do the same thing by orienting my thoughts. I'm just yearning for stories that feel a little bit closer to the life I've lived and noticing trends that feel reminiscent of the ways the system hurts us. I love and appreciate every single one of these stories and I hope people don't stop making them - there's so much uniquely trans joy to be had in them. I guarantee this isn't the last of what I have to say about the topic; there's too much here worth celebrating and reading closer.

[forthegoodofamerica]

Loving Thy Neighbor: The Path to Inner Peace

Have you ever stopped to think about what it truly means to “love thy neighbor as thyself”? This commandment, given by Jesus and recorded in Matthew 22:35-40, holds timeless wisdom. It’s not just a rule but a way of life that, when practiced, can lead to immense peace, spiritual growth, and well-being. Yet, as Shelley Allen points out in the article “Loving Thy Neighbor Is Loving Thyself,” this commandment often feels daunting. So, why is it so challenging, and more importantly, how can we unlock the profound benefits of genuinely loving those around us?

Understanding the Greatest Commandment

At the heart of this passage from Matthew, Jesus highlights the two core principles of Christian living: loving God with all your being and loving your neighbor as yourself. While the first part may seem natural for many, the second part often feels more complicated. Shelley Allen writes that most people’s initial reaction to this commandment is to think it’s difficult, mainly because “neighbors are people, and people can be rather difficult.”

But that’s exactly the point of the commandment. Love doesn’t require the people around us to be perfect; rather, it demands a commitment from us to do our best, despite imperfections. As Allen puts it, “We want to please our Lord, so even when we don’t feel like it, we commit to doing our best.” And in today’s fast-paced world, that’s not always an easy task.

Today’s Struggle with Loving Our Neighbors

Let’s be honest—it’s sometimes easier to ignore our neighbors altogether. We live in communities where many of us don’t even know the names of the people living just a few feet away. Some of us don’t engage simply because we get lost in our own routines. But the underlying issue is more significant than that. It’s about missed opportunities for connection, empathy, and well-being.

Shelley Allen makes a thought-provoking point when she writes that “if we knew how good ‘loving our neighbors’ is for us—physically as well as psychologically and emotionally—we might do more than simply ‘give it the old college try.’” The benefits of embracing this command go far beyond just making our neighbors’ lives better. In fact, loving others brings positivity back into our lives in ways we often overlook.

The Hidden Benefits of Loving Others

There’s debate about whether loving one’s neighbor is spiritually or emotionally fulfilling—turns out it’s both. Scientific studies back this idea up, showing that acts of kindness and empathy can lead to reduced stress, a greater sense of connection, and even improvements in mental health. When we extend kindness and compassion to others, we often experience the ripple effects internally as well, benefiting from the deeper purpose this brings to our own lives.

For example, greeting a neighbor with a smile or offering assistance can brighten their day while reinforcing our own sense of well-being. Acts of love and kindness are powerful tools for building a healthy, connected community, and it all starts with the individuals who make the effort to love—even during difficult moments.

Overcoming Barriers in Loving Our Neighbors

Of course, some days the idea of loving our neighbors seems far from easy. Modern life can build walls that make it hard for us to connect. Whether it’s differences in personality, conflicting viewpoints, or general disinterest, there are roadblocks in the way—much like traditional fences between houses. However, understanding the deeper meaning behind the commandment can help us overcome these barriers.

By loving our neighbors, we are acknowledging their humanity, their imperfections, and their worth. It’s not about perfection or agreement—it’s about a basic choice to offer kindness and empathy. And when we make that choice, we often find ourselves receiving kindness back in turn, creating a positive ripple effect that can transform both our local communities and our inner worlds.

Get Your Free Copy of George Magazine

Curious to read the full article and dive deeper into why “Loving Thy Neighbor” is so important? George Magazine is offering a free copy of Issue 23 - Collector’s Edition (This copy available for a limited time for free)where you can find Shelley Allen’s complete article along with other insightful stories of wisdom, faith, and personal growth.

With this free issue, you’ll gain eye-opening perspectives on impactful topics such as the meaning of loving one’s neighbor, the challenges of modern-day living, and how small acts of kindness can lead to profound transformations in your life. Each page is designed to encourage deeper thinking and reflection.

Click here to get your free copy of George Magazine now!

Find Wisdom and Inspiration in Each Issue

George Magazine isn’t just another publication—it’s a source of meaningful stories that speak directly to the heart. From the words of thinkers, spiritual leaders, and everyday people sharing their journeys, every issue offers a collection of articles that challenge readers to reflect on their beliefs, values, and place in the world.

By reading Shelley Allen’s “Loving Thy Neighbor Is Loving Thyself” and other powerful pieces in Issue 23, you’ll unlock wisdom that isn’t just relevant for today but can guide you throughout your entire life. Don’t miss out on what could be an important read for you and your family.

Order your free copy now!

Why This Message Is More Important Than Ever

In a world where we increasingly feel disconnected, Shelley Allen’s article is a timely reminder of the importance of love—for yourself, for your community, and for your connection to something bigger than yourself. Learning how to love your neighbor, even when you’re reluctant, is more than just an act of kindness. It’s an essential part of building a better world and a better you.

So, what are you waiting for? The wisdom you need is just a click away.

Grab your free copy of George Magazine today and dive into articles rich with insight, reflections, and moments of inspiration.

Get your free copy here!

[the-pessimists-paradigm]

Into the Abyss

Chapter Six

(TW: Substance abuse, mental health struggles, confrontation with authority, physical restraint and confinement)

I let out some air when I got in the car. A classic headline, “Young woman goes awry”. Why bother? Why try? Why arrest me when there are other dealers out there? Dealers, not criminals, all have their reasons. Why send me to rehab?

Sure, I was consuming some of my stock, but why send me to such a cold place? I should’ve just run away, instead of letting it consume me. Why couldn’t they just shoot me like they did to Jake when he took off, attempting to leave a maximum security prison? That dumb bastard, at least he paid the price. Sadly, I still had to suffer the consequences, but it was worth it for a while.

Rehab was a whole other story. Once I exited the car, I was shipped off like a package into a facility. Sitting in that chair, two weeks felt like decades, explaining my circumstances to some old bastard with a balding head. Telling others about my emotions, however shallow they were. I was listening to their stories and following orders. Needles stuck in my veins, depressed and tired. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I became an outpatient, even though I wanted to jump out of the window and break the hospital equipment. Farewell to the people, I am forced to identify with. Some of them had similar stories, just wanting to have fun and get rich. But I was never addicted, no withdrawals, no cravings, nothing. Right?

No matter how much I pleaded that I was fine, they wouldn’t listen. Off I went to psychotherapy, being chased by a mob of professionals, pills, and my mood. Healthcare workers would just ask me how my day was going. As if that would make me trust them, even though they just wanted to harm me. They stopped my fun, stole my money, and forced a diagnosis upon me.

I don’t want help. I don’t need it. Back again, I spiraled into medication. Swallowing pills like a donkey who eats a carrot blindly, unfeeling. At least I was a hot donkey though, so I didn’t care. My mood used to exist, although unstable. However, now, it is simply non-existent, in a pitch-black void where I can’t retrieve it. Sure, I’m not using drugs, but my happiness is flat. Is that worth it? I’ll give that old guy a piece of my mind, once a well-decorated cake, now an unsightly muffin.

Ah, my old psychiatrist, a greying man who aged like milk. He never seemed fit to be a psychiatrist, but here he was, had a face like stone. His office was like him, personally designed, with beige walls with oak wood floors, and a small VHS player in the corner his name etched onto a gold prism on his desk, Alvin. What a fun name for a not-so-fun guy. I feel somewhat numb right now, not as angry as I thought I would be. But the pills don’t always work. 

It’s all his fault. Although he didn’t start it, he was a roadblock. How dare he do this to me? All the money I’ve wasted on this useless bastard. But I have a plan. Don’t you worry, I’m coming back, bitch.

Screech! The old door nearly falls off its hinges as I barge and tell him just what he did to me. Sweat drips down his forehead as he clutches his phone like a grandmother in shock. Everything feels shaky as my breathing becomes shallow. I detail everything, for example, why must I have some arbitrary diagnosis when I was simply missing my friend? Or, why should an aging fart like you be a psychiatrist when you can’t even comprehend the struggles of the younger generation?

He sighs, looking exasperated. I’m seeing red as I charge towards him, heart racing, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Quiet beeping removes me from my trance. Hushed whispers and raspy tones as his eyes flickered. Breathing unsteady. What is it with these annoying men? First, the principal, that undercover cop, and now him. I roll my eyes as I’m being dragged by security. Ah, another statistic, maybe they should make a documentary about me.

There’s no fighting fate. Rough hands ply me from the grips of what just happened, bound to leave marks. Murmurs swirl around me in an ocean of confusion, the guards appearing fish-like. Silence leaves its mark as they aren’t yelling. I comply with their demands. Mannequin-like upon a cot-like stretcher, I exhale as my eyes close and I feel my weight below me, sinking further.

Why should I care? I am indifferent, neither happy nor unhappy as I stand to be put in a straitjacket. An electronic pharmacy sign waves at me, a young nurse, only a few years older than me, frantically sorting through prescriptions. She looks familiar, ah, it’s Theresa May, back at it again.

-> Previous Chapter

[dark4ngel]

✞ᴀ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ☏✞

𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦’𝑠 𝑃𝑎𝑐 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢．𝑖 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑣𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑦．

♡︎: 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖 𝑝𝑎𝑐 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒．𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝐴𝐶𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢．𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒．

𓅓: 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑦.

⚠︎︎: 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑖𝑣’𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒. 𝐴𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢．𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 🤗

𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 1. 𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 2. 𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 3.

Pɪʟᴇ 1: 𝑖 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑡 𝑖’𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒．

𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑖 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝：ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔，𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟，𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑙𝑙，𝑖 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔．𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛．𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒．𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒．𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑎 𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒，𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤．ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠，ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠．𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑒’𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜．𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑒．𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛．𝑖 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡．

To you who I never left,

It’s been a very long time hasn’t it? I almost feel like you aren’t the same person I once knew anymore and I can bet I’m most likely right. You don’t laugh as bright as you used to, more in the sense you’ve lost that childhood joy to you, I know growing up is never fun.. it’s a time where a lot of change happens and a lot of ways are left behind. You left them behind. Your joy, you’re so serious and uptight now, always trying to be strong and taking so much upon your fragile soul.

You’re a soft person at heart y/n. But to match up to what is expected of you you’ve closed that part up, constantly battling situations that are way too heavy for you, simply because you feel no one else can help you or no one one else cares enough to to. I see this and I understand why you do. People can be unfair, life can be unfair. You find yourself wondering how some people hardly have to work to do anything and life obeys their every command whereas some people have to break their backs just to provide for themselves, do you do this because it’s expected of you?, if you don’t be serious and face things head on you’d end up like a bad experience? I see you’re working so hard, trying to assure yourself that all would be fine even if you feel like you’re constantly met with setbacks? Speaking of delays I see you’re facing them a lot. Being stagnant and wondering when your life will begin. It’s like everything is out to slow you down and you’re feeling defeated. Trying your best to stay on your grind and assert yourself. Trying so hard to fight for your beliefs even if you feel like folding in. I’m here to tell you to let go of all those expectations. Your ideal outcome is a reaching a place of understanding and eventually being celebrated. Witnessing your struggle being celebrated, feeling accepted and praised for being so strong when you felt like you couldn’t go on.. but it gets stressful..you hit roadblocks and you feel like it’s all just some dream that’ll never come through

I’m here to tell you to stop. Slow down and take that weight of first. Let go of some burdens so you could move! It’s like running a race but with weights on you, obviously you’d never reach your goal anytime soon. I know it seems like it’ll never get better but trust me it will. I just need you to keep believing no matter how bleak it gets. It’s always darkest before dawn. You might look at things narrowly now but I can assure you that things would play out for you. Greatly too.

Someday you’d look back at this phase in your life and think to yourself just how much you worried back then wanting to get everything right when right didn’t mean it was right for you.

Trust me. Give yourself a pat on the back. It’s a harsh journey we’re on but I can assure you we’d make it.

𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠：𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦，𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛．𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑．𝑖’𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡’𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑓𝑖𝑐．

Pɪʟᴇ 2: 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠：𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 （𝑡ℎ𝑒 80’𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔），𝑚𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡！𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙~，𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝑠𝑘𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟．𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡，𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡， 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔，𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒． 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒！．𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜． 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑．𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒．𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒，𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙． 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦．

(the empress fell out guys! I knew it!, I was getting a really feminine vibe. Also she’s so straightforward like lady did not waste time so your pile is actually really short)

Hey don’t be afraid of change, or growth.

You’re enough darling, all that you hope for is easily accessible as long as you belief it will.

I understand you’re a grounded young person, you have plans of a sturdy future where you’re abundant in every aspect of your life, where you get to look back and smile at your younger self for bringing you this far. You’re quite secretive and you conceal a lot, you conceal this carefree part of you, afraid to be taken for granted or be taking for a fool. At times it slips through and you find yourself beaming with joy and getting excited at your plans or things that make you happy. And to be honest don’t conceal that. It’s a part of you that retains these hopes and dreams that keeps you from losing your self. It’s not a struggle to be inherently successful by all means. You’re abundantly blessed my little one, you’re a star and no matter what you do would always garner attention to you. Your goals are merely steps that’ll eventually bring that dream come through so stop rejecting things that come your way. Stop refusing to let your zest for life peek through. Take that bold step and be that queen. You may feel lost or unsuitable for the task at hand but understand this. Nothing great was built in a day. You’d grow into your best self, it’s like graduating from this little page of wands to this queen of wands.

All that you wish and hope for would eventually come to pass. For now accept the lessons and experiences and don’t close up too much to the point you risk growing. Don’t be afraid of change.

Embrace it and step into your queen hood.

Pɪʟᴇ 3: 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑖𝑡？

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠：𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦！，𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛？，𝑖 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒．．𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒．𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑖𝑡．𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒！𝑖 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢．𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 𝑎 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑．

You’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever encountered. I’m a child and I’m honest with what I say. I don’t filter my words cause they come from my heart. And I’d say this again. Man are you the coolest person I know

You attract what you want even if it doesn’t come to you when you expect it too, you always said you didn’t have much growing up but somehow you attracted everything you wished for isn’t that some skill ? (For some of you it could be you always thought you’d never get what you wanted or believed you could pull it in yet somehow you did)

I know times are different now and you’ve got to be more mature and headstrong to plan the life you want, I know you don’t want to fail people like 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 failed you. (For some could be parents or friends) these were people that you trusted and now you’re slowly becoming this head over heart person.. you don’t even ask yourself want you want anymore .. it’s more of 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗺 𝗶 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁

You’re a planner now.. you’ve always been a great leader anyways but now you plan for more serious stuff. Like money and stability. It’s almost like you’ve told yourself now that if you don’t become what you’ve laid out for yourself then you’re a failure and in all honesty you’re wrong.

Take the blindfolds and the expectations of off you. Let go of the toxic mentality you’re slowly developing towards money. Money is an attraction.. you let it flow in and accept it not hoard it and restrain it. You gotta give to get don’t be stingy or possessive with the people you’ve come to cherish. I know you sometimes feel alone.. and finding a friend or a person who makes you feel alive can be hard to share. But just like money , people come and go. Don’t lock someone or something so close to you simply because you fear them leaving.

Like I said earlier you’re the coolest person I know, keep chasing your ambitions and whilst doing so continue to follow your 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁. Not your head or in this case what people want. I mean what you want. Someday you’d grow old and you’d probably regret not chasing what really made you happy.

I know you’re sensitive deep down inside and I know you’re not this king of swords you claim to be deep down inside. But I get.. you’re like this cause you’re a different person now. And it’s okay .. just know that regardless I know you’d never stop till your hard work pays off. Cool as always 👊. Just don’t.. forget who you are in the process of it..

[barnes-n-nobles]

Youre My Path (SMUT)

Yandere Bucky being crazy, possessive, and DARK!

TW-Mentions on non-con, drugging, stalking, and overall dark behavior. A little bit of knife play as well.

Smut SMUT SMUT

Let me know what y’all think 

Today was just another boring ordinary day. You had to go to the store and stock up on some groceries that you had been planning on getting but you lacked the will power to do so. You opened your phone and looked at the time. Ugh, I need to go before they close you thought to yourself as you managed to peel yourself off of your comfy sofa. You got ready and headed towards the nearest super market.

Lately youve been having some weird feelings, as if someone is constantly watching you. You always shake it off though, because nothing ever happens to you. You always get home safe and sound. Today was a little more intense though, as if you could almost hear someone breathing behind you when you were walking to the store. Relieved to have made it inside, you grabbed your cart and started your trip through the empty isles of the store. You loved and hated to come at night, it made you feel at peace knowing there there wouldn’t be annoying ass kids and angry moms yelling at them to behave. No people blocking the isles with their carts and most importantly, no need to run into someone you knew. The only reason you hated it, was because you didn’t want to get kidnapped and left for dead.

As you made your way to the bread isle, you had that feeling again. You felt like someone was behind you, you stopped dead in your tracks to see if anyone would walk past you. You pretended to look at the merchandise and you slowly turned around to see if there was anyone there. You looked both ways, and sure enough there was nothing. You rolled your eyes and kept it moving. As your trip started coming to an end you decided to stop by the makeup isle, needing a couple of items that you would use for your upcoming date.

Usually you didn’t try this hard but you figured you would give it a shot. All the past times you went on dates they would disappear after your first date. You weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t try hard enough or if they simply weren’t feeling your vibe. As your mind trailed off you accidentally ran into another person with your cart, completely snapping you out of your mind. A broad man, fell to his knee. “Oh my god!!! I’m so sorry. Are you ok? God I’m so clumsy please forgive me” you said frantically as you started to help him up. He lifted his head up to meet your gaze, big blue eyes % bore%% into your own. Your eyes started to trail from his eyes, to his lips, and up again to his perfectly sculpted face. You were mesmerized, you had never seen such a handsome man. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it, y/n” he said quickly getting up and walking off with a visible smirk on his face. You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion, knowing damn well he did not just say your name. You werent exactly sure if your mind was playing tricks on you or if he really said what you think he had said. You got up quickly, still in shock but hoping that it was really your mind playing tricks on you. Hesitantly you continued to shop, even though there was a little voice in your head telling you to get the hell out of that store.

Bucky POV

FUCK she’s so beautiful, he thought to himself. The way you stared at him, it was clear you wanted him the way he wanted you. This was the moment that he had been waiting for ever since he laid eyes on you. He had never been this close to you, it was like a dream come true. You smelled like candy, your beautiful e/c eyes meeting his. Just how he had imagined but better. The way you apologized made him hard. Just think of how submissive my y/n will be to me mmmm I’m going to devour her in every way possible he thought to himself, smirking.

Bucky ran into you at a coffee shop near your house. It was love at first sight for him. He watched you interact with your friends, smile, laugh, and it was like a match made in heaven for him. He knew he needed you to smile for him, laugh for him, and live for him. He followed you home that night. Making sure you wanted to be safe, of course. But his monthly visits turned to weekly and then turned to daily. He eventually managed to get into your home. You left a space key under your mat, and he felt so happy yet disappointed that you would endanger yourself like that. “When we live together, I’ll make sure you don’t make silly mistakes like this” he said to himself as he got into your home.

He went through your house just browsing, seeing if anything interesting caught his eye. He then made it into your room and continued to look through your things. He found your panties next to your bed and quickly grabbed them and put him in his picked for him to enjoy later. He also took some pictures of you, to also enjoy later.

You were his new routine and he enjoyed every second of it. As time went on he would keep tabs on you, absolutely hating it when you went on dates. He was consumed with jealousy and couldn’t believe anyone would dare lay a finger on you. He knew that this would not fly and he had to make sure to get rid of any roadblocks that got in his way. Bucky murdered them and everytime he did he felt relieved, almost happy knowing that he was that much closer to you.

After his encounter with you, Bucky walked off into the parking lot, one car over from yours, slipping into the drivers seat. His mind started to go wild. He needed you so badly. He wished he could have taken you right then and there. How he wished he could be inside you, your soft moans begging him to make you feel good. His cock soon started to throb at the thought of you. He leaned back in his seat taking a pair of your panties out from his pocket. He brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply, moaning as he exhaled. “Fuck Y/n...you make me so horny...I’m going to fuck the shit out of you when you’re here baby just you wait”.

Wasnt long before he pulled out his dick, stroking it hard. His hips bucking into his hand wishing it was your pussy. He started to think about how beautiful your pretty mouth would be around his dick, how good your tongue would feel swiveling around his tip. Just as he was about to cum, he stopped. He growled and threw his head back lowly moaning your name. “Fuck...I cant take this anymore. I need her” He quickly tucked himself back in and relaxed.

All you could think about was how that guy knew your name. It kept replaying in your head and it didn’t make sense. You headed to your car and started to load everything in. “Hello my Y/n” you heard someone say in a low deep voice. You quickly turned around, your heart starting to beat a little faster. “Umm. Do I know you?” You asked. Bucky sighed and started to walk towards you. “Not yet doll but you will” a smirk on his face once again. You backed up as he took steps forward. “Don’t come any closer, or I’m calling the police”.

Bucky pressed himself against your body, his hands snaking their way to your hips. His face now pressed against your neck. “No you wont Princess, I know you like this. I can tell by the way that you’re breathing that you want me to keep going” his low voice going straight to your core. “N-no please...stop I ..” you tried pushing him off but you started to feel so weak. You had not noticed that Bucky had used something to drug you. All you felt was your body going limp and you falling into his arms.

Bucky smiled as you fell into him, placing a soft kiss on your temple. He noticed that someone was coming over so he quickly pressed your body to your car, and grabbed your face, kissing you. The person walking, walked a little faster as they were feeling a little awkward. Perfect he thought to himself. He placed you into the back to his car, resting your head to a pillow he had just bought and covering you with his sweater. He quickly drove off, leaving all your things by your car.

Your eyes opened, your head pounding. Wherever you were it was dark but comfortable. You groaned as you started to fully wake up, slowly sitting up. Your left hand felt heavy, you tried pulling it and you heard a chain. You yanked your hand hard again, making a loud sound. Bucky heard the noise coming from your guy’s room and he smiled and quickly got up making his way to you.

“Baby you’re awake now” Bucky excitedly said

“What’s going on..why are you doing this to me, where am I?”

“You’re home doll, with me”

“But I don’t know you” you cried softly

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. I’ve been looking after you for a while now and it’s been a pleasure but I'm so glad that I finally have you all to myself, just how it was always meant to be”

He started to get on the bed climbing towards you. You backed up as he came towards you, your back was now against the wall, pinning yourself between the cold wall and his broad body. His hand going to the back of your neck, bringing you close to him, your lips almost touching his.

“I’ve waited a life time for this, to have you here with me. You make me crazy and I would sacrifice the world for you. Now that you’re all mine, I won’t ever loose you” he closed the gap between you two, his lips desperately locking into yours. Kissing you passionately, he was hungry and desperate. You turned your head to the side, breaking the kiss.

“This isn’t the way Bucky, this isn’t right. You need to let me go” you begged. Bucky smiled and looked down moving back away from you. It made you feel relieved that he was not too mad due to your actions. He slowly got up from the bed and went over to his dresser, rummaging through some things.

“Bucky...maybe we are in different paths right now, maybe in the future we will be together but now right now, not like this...please Bucky listen to me”, hoping that he would have a little sympathy, you used his name to make it more personal.

“You know , y/n...just because you say we are on different paths doesn’t mean it’s true” he grabbed something and started to walk towards you again. This time his metal arm reached out to pull you by your leg to the edge of the bed, giving you whiplash. He quickly climbed on top of you, pinning your arms above your head with his metal arm and pulling out a syringe with his other hand.

You quickly started to wiggle around trying to get him off you. Shaking your head, “no no please stop no”. Buckys eyes had a hint of madness to them, dark and disturbing. “Don’t worry these don’t hurt, it will make you feel better I promise”. He quickly injected it to you and you soon started to feel get hot, with a tingling sensation “This will loosen you up a bit, it’ll make you relax so that we can enjoy eachother baby”

His lips made their way onto your neck, kissing and licking you all over. Your heart started to race, your eyes closing, soft moans escaping your lips, “n-no..” Bucky grunted as his erection started to press against your clothed pussy. His hips bucking forward, dry humping you. He lowered down to your ear, whispering, “ cant you see what you do to me. You’re so sexy and sensual you’re almost making me cum in my pants with your adorable moans, my love. As much as love to hear you right now, I want you to moan and scream my name y/n...begging me to fuck you harder”

All his words, combined with his dry humping made you soaking wet. As much as you hated this you couldn’t help but moan louder. His cock pressing against you was not enough and you needed more. You tried your hardest to resist, “G-get a..way f-from me..” you managed to choke out, trying to not moan anymore and trying to push him off with your body. Suddenly Bucky got angry. Hating how you were fighting him. He tore off your thin leggings in a fast single motion, revealing your soaked panties. He took out his knife and pressed it against you, earning a frantic gasp but you stopped moving. “Stop fighting me doll, for your own good because I swear I will fucking destroy you. I’ve waited too long for this, don’t push me because you won’t like the way I punish you.But......if you behave I’ll make sure to take care of you..real good care darling” he said as his knife traced your body. He grabbed your shirt roughly and ripped it off, slicing your bra open as well.

His mouth watered at the sight of your delicious breasts, making his cock twitch with excitement. His knife trailed down to your panties, making you whimper. “You’re so delicious kitten, I’m going to fuck you so hard. I cant wait till my cock is right in here” he motioned and tapped your clit with his knife. He roughly grabbed them and ripped them open instantly. He threw his knife to the side and quickly started to rub your clit making your back arch with your eyes closed. Your moans now filling up the room. Bucky smiled and took one of your nipples into his mouth, making you quiver and move your hips down into his hand. “Mmm, I knew you wanted this..wanted me...only me” he growled against your chest. “F-fuck Bucky...keep going please”. You hated yourself for saying that but you couldn’t help it, you were in pure ecstasy.

Just as you were about to reach your orgasm, he removed himself from you. Making you whine and buck your hips up, wanting and needing his touch once again. “Don’t worry kitten, I’m not done with you yet”. He quickly undressed and positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing his tip on your clit, making you mewl. “Tell me what you want doll...tell me what you want from me” he coaxed. You didn’t answer, as you were too embarrassed to say anything. His metal hand went to your neck, squeezing it hard. “Tell me y/n..tell me what you want NOW” he yelled, releasing his grip from your throat.

“Fuck me Bucky...please” you finally said. “I don’t think I heard you doll, say it loud and clear”. “FUCK ME BUCKY PLEASE I NEED YOU...PLEASE”. You finally broke. You needed him now, there was nothing in the world you wanted more than to have his cock inside of you, his lips on your skin and his hands all over you. You were finally filled with his big cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy. His hands on your neck, choking you but not too hard like before. His hips snapping in and out of you making your body shake. 

“Such an obedient slut, MY obedient slut. I’m going to break you and bend you to my will. Making you all mine. I’ll make you crave my touch, my attention, my voice. You’re going to live only for me, doll. Only for me” he growled as he pounded into you, rubbing your clit making you loose it. He then started to feel you reach your end, making him moan, “cum on my dick baby...cum for me. Let go” he cooed as he angled himself to reach into you deeper. That’s when you felt your orgasm hit you, your body started to shake, waves of pleasure surging through your body. “Mmm Buckyyyy” you moaned. Making him loose it as well, he coated your insides in his thick warm cum. Pumping himself in and out slowly. Gasping for air.

Fuck he was such a God, he made you want more of him. It was the first night and you were already going crazy for his touch. You wanted him to keep going keep doing you however he wanted, but most importantly to keep pleasuring you. Bucky finally pulled out and laid next to you, looking at your beautiful face. He brought his lips to yours and gave you a soft kiss. “The drug hasn’t worn off baby, don’t think this is over. We’re going until we cant no more, doll.” He said against your lips, flipping you over for round two.

[darkanddirtyknb]

TO MY FOLLOWERS

I wanted to take some time out to write a message to all of you who still take the time to read these things. This year has started rough, to say the least. Those of you who were here when I first started my blog know that I never wanted to make this a place of negativity, so I would give updates when I could, but I try to not go into full detail about what's going on because this is supposed to be a place where you can read stories to chill or just chat once in a while for fun. That being said, I can't help but go into my personal life from time to time. It's hard to avoid it since I'm sick every day and it slows down my ability to keep this blog running the way I would like to. I've recently had to start therapy because my health has finally gotten the best of me. My anxiety and depression are the worst they've been in a long time. I'm still fighting, and I'm still trying to stay positive, but being sick every single day is exhausting. I've been going through this battle since 2013, and honestly, it's just taken everything out of me. I'm still going to medical appointments constantly. I'm still battling side effects of medication. I still have no relief. My financial situation has worsened, which I honestly didn't think possible. It's just been tough. I'm not looking for anything by writing this. I simply wanted to get this off of my chest, and to thank every single one of you who have stood by my side, and also those of you who are new to my blog. It means so much to me to have a family here. This site may be pretty much dead, but you haven't given up on me. I won't ever forget that. As for those who have commissioned me and are still waiting on their stories, I haven't forgotten about you either. I still plan on getting in touch with you and writing your requests (if you're still interested). I apologize for being incredible slow to get started but I can only do what my body and brain allows. I refuse to do a half-assed job because I'm not at my best. Some days, I can barely form sentences, so writing is impossible. Lastly, those who I owe messages to, I still plan on getting back to you, too. Please forgive my latency. I promise that I am trying my best. It's a struggle to get out of bed most days. I can still battle the mental roadblocks, but the physical ones are getting harder and harder to overcome. I'll never stop trying, though. So, I will do everything in my power to deliver on my promises when I can. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for everything. Love, Kai

[itsclydebitches]

Something that stood out to me when reading the commentary summaries was about how Nora getting a "journey" in Atlas was really important to them. Putting aside how little she actually does (Especially during V8, where she's out for most of it), I don't know if Nora really needed to one. Not just because she's a side character, but did she really need to drastically change from being the strong, silly one?

I’m personally of the opinion that all of Team JNOR should get development (minus Jaune at this point lol) simply because the show is no longer treating them as side characters. They’re no longer separate teams, no longer removed from the main plot (like how they were responding to the alarms off screen while Team RWBY tackled the train/White Fang threat), Oscar and Jaune are arguably more important, or treated as more important, respectively, than Ruby herself is… so if it talks, walks, and overall acts like a main character, you should probably develop them like one. I’m happy for Nora to just be the silly one if she remains a side character, but she’s just not that anymore. I’m also happy for Nora to get development, provided it’s not coming at the expense of our title team… but it is.

So RWBY, as usual, has a lot of things backwards imo. But putting that aside, Nora arguably only has the setup for a journey in Volumes 7-8 and that’s, frankly, being generous about what we were given. The group arrives in Atlas and many fans were hoping that the story would reveal that Nora was originally from Mantle. This never happened. Instead, Nora is just concerned with the poor people of Mantle because she too was once poor—even though the show itself never confirms this, it’s left for us to assume—rather than having a personal connection to the city itself. Okay, that’s still a compelling bit of characterization. Problem is, that characterization only came up in two ways. The first was by having Nora rage against Ironwood’s Amity plan and the secrets it necessitated, despite Ruby pushing for the tower’s completion, despite Nora not offering up a solution that secures them that without hurting Mantle, and despite her—right then—keeping a bunch of crucial secrets herself. None of that endears me to her. She’s passionate, but the passion hits a roadblock made of practical concerns and instead of trying to circumvent them, Nora turns her energy into pure criticism instead of anything productive. It’s like: [John Mulaney voice] “We shouldn’t have to hurt Mantle to save the world!” and I’m going, “WE'RE WELL PAST THAT.” And then the second way this comes up is by finally giving Nora the chance to help the Mantle citizens… and she pushes for telling Remnant about Salem instead. Where did that come from? Really, it reads like the writers simply forgot who had what motivations and switched Nora’s with Ren’s (which, you know, really highlights how undeveloped they are if you can so easily mistake what choices they’d make in that moment). Then Nora is knocked out for the majority of the Volume, unable to do something like, say, insist that her teammates stop sitting around and actually join the battle.

The rest of Nora’s characterization feels just as backwards to me. She says she wants to be more than just the silly one who hits stuff with her hammer, so then she goes and, with a very silly facial expression and hair, electrocutes herself by hitting the door with her hammer. She says that she wants to be with Ren—it’s a deep enough desire that it feeds into her annoyance with him all Volume 7—but then the second he says, “I love you” Nora claims she needs space. All these ideas on their own—becoming more than she was, doing what’s expected of her in a pretty spectacular way, wanting to solidify her relationship, wanting a break from that relationship—all work on their own, it’s just that RT has combined them in ways where the new bit of characterization undermines the last. The rest of what Nora does just feels… uncomfortable to me. I don’t like her screaming at Ironwood without offering a solution. I don’t like her kissing Ren without consent after he just confirmed that he’s having trouble opening up to her. I don’t like Nora gleefully messing with the soldiers because haha, isn’t it funny to inconvenience people who don’t know anything about your problems with Ironwood and are terrified that their Kingdom is under attack. I'm not a big fan of her speech to Penny, not because I dislike the Believe in Yourself advice, but just because the idea of Penny overcoming a hack in that way is ridiculous and shows how often the writers rely on nonsense "explanations" to keep the plot moving. And I hate Nora, like Yang, claiming that Ren never had any good reason to be frustrated with the group and their decisions, he’s just a bad teammate, a bad friend, and a bad maybe-boyfriend.

My own preferences aside, we might have salvaged all this if the story ran with Nora’s desire to get some space. Forget everything that came before it that’s arguably contradictory, at least now she’s primed to start a new and impactful journey. But then Jaune is the one who falls through the void. Ren and Nora are still together in Vacuo and, practically speaking, there’s no way for them to get any meaningful distance from one another. What, is Nora going to march off into the desert rather than sticking with the whole group? Is Ren going to go off on his own once they hit the city, leaving teammates and civilians alike to fend for themselves? It would be ridiculous to have them not working together and that’s not even taking into account the fact that they think they just lost Jaune and all of Team RWBY. Given that Nora and Ren were already at odds for nearly the whole Atlas arc, that grief is bound to bring them together, not push them apart… despite the fact that the one good thing that came of Nora’s “arc” was her deciding she had to figure out who she is without him. How is she going to do that while still joined at the hip, forced to remain a team during a crisis, and now working through the trauma of losing five allies/friends? If RT actually wanted to write that story, have Nora figure all this out at the beginning of the Atlas arc, back in Volume 7 when everyone was free to take different jobs and do different activities in their free time, giving them both space to grow. Or have either her or Ren fall into the void, forcing them both to figure things out through a more intense distance than either ever planned for, or actually wanted. Doesn’t that make the heart grow fonder? The terror of thinking they'll never see each other again?

But no, Nora was either flip-flopping, unconscious, or yelling the whole arc and now she’s likely tied to Ren more firmly than ever before. Honestly, the only way I can see RT pulling this off (and I use that phrase with great hesitation), is if all of Volume 9 is about Team RWBYJ and when they make it back there’s been a time skip. Nora fills them in on everything that happened in their absence, which just happens to include her and Ren working everything out off screen. That's the kind of "development" we've consistantly gotten for Oscar, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that we'll get it for them too.

[regrettablewritings]

Preference: You Move In Together

Characters: Tadashi Hamada, Dewey Finn, Diana Prince, Cassian Andor, Clark Kent

Tadashi Hamada

It started out with a kiss – how did it end up like this?

“This” being you holding a flashlight as high up as your crossed arms would let you as you bemusedly watched your boyfriend fiddle with the generator. Though, you already knew that answer: You two had finally settled down to relax and watch a movie (a little treat for getting through your third day of moving into your new apartment), when a flickering light coming from the kitchen began to distract you from your peripheral. Ever the assure-er, your beloved boyfriend insisted it wasn’t anything serious, that it could easily wait until the morning, and give you a kiss of comfort for good measure. But no: It could not wait until morning. It would not wait until morning.

Instead, whatever was going on waited until the climax of the movie to decide to blow the power out, plunging you both into a well of darkness. You groaned loudly, realizing that this meant the both of you would have to wait until morning to get somebody out here to check it out.

“Why wait?” Tadashi asked. “You have one of SFIT’s finest living with you!”

Surprisingly, robotics and electrical engineering were not quite the same – even one of SFIT’s finest could (and did) find himself struggling to figure out what the problem was.

And for as bemused as you were about the entire situation . . . some part of you couldn’t help but find the tiniest kernels of enjoyment in it. It was that part of you that knew that, a couple years in the future, this would be looked upon as a sweet moment. One of those moments older couples remember when looking back on how far they’d come together.

You two had only been moved in to your apartment for less than a month and already your lives felt so full of potential memories: From Tadashi attempting to make “the first breakfast of the rest of your lives” (and subsequently setting off your kinda crappy fire alarm); to you slipping down the stairs on your butt and thus earning his light taunts as he inspected the damage; to the both of you waking up to find your inflatable mattress had deflated overnight after only two nights of sleeping on it.

Your lives felt so full . . . yet it was clearly only the beginning. And that was certainly something to look forward to. Well, that, and having dependable electricity.

“Okay!” you heard Tadashi exclaim, rising up from his previous position. You didn’t need to direct the flashlight at his face to know that he was sporting that confident smile of his. “This time, I think I’ve got it. ‘And the Lord said --” He positioned his finger on the switch. “ ‘Let there be light!’” And with that, he gave it a victorious flip.

Nothing. Still darkness. The only thing that changed was that the silence was now awkward and well-earned. It was only broken by a single clap of hands.

“. . .  You craving McNuggets? I’m craving McNuggets.”

You blinked. “McNug -- Tadashi, it’s almost midnight.”

“McNuggets, (Y/N)! Let’s go! We can pick up donuts after!” Tadashi insisted, gently pushing you towards the coat closet to retrieve a jacket. In the hustle and bustle, you gave up trying to stay unimpressed about the entire evening: You simply had to let out a laugh.

“Oh, Tadashi,” you sighed as you shook your head slowly, though not completely without adoration.

Yeah, you were both in it for the long run. And if you had known this sort of thing would happen, you still would’ve chosen him to be with. After all, if this kept up, your lives would be truly full before you knew it.

Dewey Finn

Statistically speaking, Staten Island is the cheapest borough to live in. However, New York is still New York. Meaning that you two are the very image that comes to mind when someone thinks about a young couple trying to make it work: The apartment is small; the walls aren’t paper-thin per se, but let’s just say you’d made cardboard club houses from sturdier stock; the quality of certain utilities isn’t exactly stellar, either, given that it was the best the two of you could afford; and you were both in positions that didn’t normally pay especially well in terms of making six figures.

And yet you both were pretty satisfied with the living situation.

Sure, moving your stuff in together was like playing life-size Tetris (with the added “bonus” of having to pick and choose what would be moved into storage and what you’d have to just give away). But after you got into the groove of things, it seemed to pale in comparison to the lives you’d begun to develop as a cohabiting couple.

For one, this was the first time in a long while where Dewey had actually lived in a clean/livable living space. Maybe not pristine, but there had been an established regimen of sorts: Dishes would be cleaned (even if begrudgingly) amongst the two of you; trash was taken out instead of left to grow into a mountain of pizza boxes and soda bottles and whatnot; and for the first time since he’d left his ma’s house, the mattress lay upon an actual box spring rather than a bunch of milk crates filled with records.

Completing the picture of the young struggling pre-famous by way of Dewey becoming a rock god couple was the assortment of Struggle Meals™ that had become a part of your day-to-day lives. Sure, you tried to eat healthy, but let’s be real: Cooking can be such a pain in the ass. It took a while, but you eventually had to agree for the betterment of your budgets to limit eating out to the weekends every other weekend. Until then, weird salads and Chili Mac and crockpots full of “let’s see what happens when we throw all this stuff in because their best by dates are coming and we kinda need to not waste this shit” stew would have to hold you guys over.

And yet, it wasn’t all bad.

There would be nights when Dewey would be on a song-writing kick up until one or chord would stump him, or nights where you’d have to bring paperwork home and you would begin to contemplate the consequences of just flinging it out the window. In moments like those, you were one anothers’ biggest cheerleaders.

You would continue to be one of the only people that could get Dewey to take a break, insisting that maybe going on a walk might help or maybe he can stop for a moment and just join you for a couple rounds of Mario Kart. And he would fix you up your favorite tea or, in turn, insist that you take a break before you slammed your face into the wall. It rarely actually mattered what one did for the other in that specific moment because no matter what it was, it was all the other needed to get over that roadblock.

And then there were those quiet moments . . . Dewey was never a quiet person, never really was into the quiet. But when you two moved in together, he sort of had to learn to respect those for your sake. And even though it was (and still can be) a bit of a struggle . . . you make it so much easier for him. Just by linking your hands together or running your fingers through his hair while you read. Or by rubbing his shoulders while you lounge behind him on the couch while he messes around with a lesson plan . . .

All in all, in some awkward yet beautiful way, you’re making in work. You try to take turns and share responsibilities, you both go and work your butts off to keep the lights on in this World’s Most Expensive Animal Cracker Box you call in apartment. It’s far from easy. But there’s just this massive feeling of satisfaction that hits the both of you when you come home after a long day of work, collapse on the couch, glance at each other with the most exhausted faces and go, “Wow, you look like shit.” Punctuated with a kiss, of course.

(Hey, it’s a Staten Island love story.)

Diana Prince

It all just sort of happened, really. There wasn’t any actual intention of you two living together-- at least, not at first. It had actually just started off with you coming over to Diana’s place just to house-sit whenever she had to go on a mission or even back home (after all, who better to watch her home than her beloved). Of course, this didn’t occur too often at first: She’d mostly retired from the vigilante life by the time you two had established anything. But once Bruce gathered up the Metahumans for a common cause, Diana’s need for you to come by became more frequent. So of course that meant you stayed over more often -- which, of course, meant you would have to make yourself right at home.

When Diana found an article of your clothing mixed in with her own laundry, though, that was when it occurred to her that perhaps it might be more beneficial for you to just stay there. Without the whole going back to your place bit.

You never pushed for it before: After all, for as loving as she was, Diana was still a woman who needed her space, given her history. You felt honored enough that she deemed you worthy of sharing her secret with, you weren’t about to apply more pressure to her by demanding that she let you move in.

Thankfully, no regrets were had.

You felt such childish glee in the moments when you’d wake up and see your gorgeous girlfriend in the kitchen, boiling coffee -- you were actually a little embarrassed at first. But given that Diana was never one to hide her feelings, it didn’t take long for you to realize that she actually felt the exact same: With you around more frequently, the apartment felt far less lonely. Far more warm and welcoming.

It wasn’t just filled with "her" stuff because now it had "your" stuff -- as in things that belonged to the both of you now. And sure, it might've been just little things like desk plants or jello molds or gimmicky little mugs, but it didn't matter to her-- they were yours. Together. Like an actual unit!

There were discussions of comfort zones to avoid as many clashes as possible; you communicated with one another about what idiosyncrasies were and weren’t going to be potential problems and how to possibly combat those.

It wasn’t always perfect, of course, but neither of you would have traded it for anything after you became accustomed to your new living situation.

But the very best moments were when she’d come home after being gone with the League. Tired, sometimes even still in costume, she’d trudge into the apartment, right into the bedroom, before collapsing on the bed next to you. Even if the feeling of your Amazonian girlfriend crashing down didn’t wake you, the exhausted yet relieved sigh she’d release most definitely would. And every time that happened, the first thing you’d feel wouldn’t be irritation at being woken up: It would be excitement.

She’s home! you would cheer on the inside, even if your tired body wouldn’t portray as much excitement as you would try to sit upright to greet her.

“Welcome home,” you smiled every time, voice husky with sleep. And she would smile back. Tired, yes, but always with so much love.

“Hello, beloved,” she would greet. “How was your day?” She would ask this every time. And she would listen, no matter what you responded with.

It was a good life.

Cassian Andor

You fought in a war, you survived a deadly mission that turned the tide for the war, the war ended . . . Now what? You buy a home together.

Oh, if only it were so simple.

Neither you nor Cassian really had much of an idea of where to move to for starters. Sure, you talked a big game about the places you wanted to travel to and see for yourselves, but vacations seemed far more within reach than a milestone like moving in together. At one point, you humored the possibility of just traveling around to those places you’d marked and just settle down in one of them, but they were hardly places you could see yourselves actually living in.

But in the end, you picked Takodana: Lush, green, neutral. Cassian was admittedly hesitant at the idea of settling on neutral territory: To him, that would’ve been just as bad as going somewhere where they didn’t care that a war was happening. But you insisted upon it, voicing how perhaps the influence of a quiet life might rub off on him. Plus, it was hard for him to argue with how calm and quiet it all was. An adjustment from the bustle and yells of a rebel base as he had literally grown used to, but not an entirely unpleasant one.

He never knew that crickets could sound so soothing.

Really, the adjustment of moving in together came from the fact that it wasn’t moving into a small section of living quarters sanctioned by an army: It was an entire home, just for the two of you (and K2), surrounded by forests and near enough to civilization while still being far enough away to assure privacy.

It felt weird to Cassian, who’d spent virtually his entire life living with the opposite: Constantly surrounded by people, constantly surrounded by dust, near enough to others while simultaneously being . . . alone.

Only he wasn’t alone: He was alone with you. And that’s what made all the difference for him. Sure, he wasn’t going to entirely give up his insistence on investing in protective measures. And just because it was your home, didn’t mean you were allowed to slack off on the order of the pantry or how fabrics like towels were folded, as though you were tossing away years of mandated regimen.

But so long as he has you, his link to regaining his sense of self? Who Cassian Jeron Andor is without the war? He’s pretty sure he can make that leap and start his next mission: Starting a family together.

Clark Kent

You two liked to joke that it was done in order to better brave the ridiculous Metropolis housing market. Which wasn’t far from the truth, actually. But the reality clearly had more to do with the fact that moving in together, after being a couple for so long, just felt like the right thing to do. Sure, it wasn’t exactly the most mystical or romantic of reasons, but why complicate things? This was already a relationship composed of the Kryptonian alien who caused a calamity and the woman who helped to try and kill him for it.

The beautiful thing about your new living situation was that it was a unique blend of the mundane and the strange. Unique: You were living with Superman which meant that after a point, it became somewhat necessary for you to know how to clean his suit and cape in the event he couldn’t be home to do it himself. Mundane: Clark liked taking care of you, and that meant sometimes you woke up to breakfast in bed or came home to find that he’d run you a nice, hot bath.

Unique: Dusting and vacuuming high corners and hard-to-reach places was a thing of the past since Clark could easily lift the heaviest of furniture, lift you up himself, or even fly up to perform the task. Mundane: On some evenings, you two could just end the day by relaxing on the couch, you lying on your back as Clark rested his head on your tummy so that you had access to play with his curls. Unique and mundane: You now had the option of completing grocery bag trips in one go. It wasn’t advised due to the whole issue of discretion, but, like, at least the possibility was now there.

Mundanely unique: His fast metabolism meant that your fridge, freezer, and cabinets were stocked to the bring with snacks of all kinds. Uniquely mundane: Clark snored a bit in his sleep and as much as you loved him, no amount of love could make snoring cute.

But compared to everything else, you’d take it in a heartbeat. You never imagined yourself having a life quite like this, to say the least. But now you could never imagine yourself having anything different.

[himbeaux-on-ice]

honestly though like it makes so much sense to me why someone with Sid’s personality and also his injury history would HATE conversations or questions about “getting older” or being “in the back half of his career”. like, actually let me unpack this. if you don’t want to watch me try to get way too deep into the head of a hockey player turn back now. I’m about to go off the rails.

like, first of all this man has been eat-sleep-breathe hockey pretty much since he could stand up and hold a stick. it’s his whole life. he thinks about it all the time and he loves LOVES doing it. if he’s not playing he’s bullying Nate MacKinnon training or doing a few social things or he’s asleep. his teammates have said he seems more at home in the rink than anywhere else on earth. everything he does is constructed around making sure that he is able to play hockey, as often as possible, at the highest level of skill and performance he is capable of achieving, every day that he can. it’s what he is here to do.

Sid is also a guy who was sidelined with some really major injuries and then recurring chronic symptoms which not only kept him from doing that thing his life is centred around for months, but also raised the spectre of questioning whether he would be able to return to play at all. like I feel like it doesn’t get talked about much because I think we’re all glad it turned out ok, but there was a point when he was dealing with the chronic post-concussion symptoms where a big hockey media talking point was “will Sidney Crosby ever play hockey again?” and we were all wondering whether his career had been cut short mid-stride. I’m sure Sid himself probably spent a lot of that time wondering if he had just lost the one thing his life is centred around, his passion and purpose — and that had to have been a pretty dark headspace to be in, especially when you can’t even do all that much to distract yourself bc post-concussion symptoms. and we kinda nearly forget that period because a) it sucked and we’re all really glad to be past it, and b) the success he has had since returning from the concussions is fucking astronomical and outshines everything else. but do you think he forgets it? probably not.

so when you have a guy like that, a person whose life is so deeply embedded with hockey that his red blood cells are probably shaped like pucks, and who also knows what it’s like to have to face down the dark yawning chasm of being physically stopped from playing hockey because your body simply physically won’t let you do it no matter how stubbornly you try

and then when he hits 33 and the team struggles a bit you start to say to/about him stuff like “hey, so you’re getting up there in your career” or “well he’s not as young as he once was” or “Crosby only has so many years left” then fucking OF COURSE he’s going to hate that! of course! it’s basically a reminder that it’s only a matter of time before he will eventually once again be faced with a physical roadblock keeping him from his game, and that this time it will be one with no recovery time, no bounce-back, no return to play timeline, the end. it’s a reminder that his ability to play at a high level and perform to match his ambition has an expiry date, and that once that date comes he will have to figure out who he is when he can no longer be Sidney Crosby, elite hockey player.

so no shit he hates that, no wonder he always looks so :/ and gets a little snippy when that comes up! obviously! if somebody sprung a casual reminder of your looming core existential crisis on you in the middle of every interview and peppered it into every conversation about your team’s future, you would hate it too! he’s just too compulsively polite to say “stop fucking calling me old you weirdos” so I will say it for him! cease and desist!

[ambssssssssss]

part 1

Despite Lex’s untimely demise, or timely depending on who you asked, bringing Luthor-Corp back under Lena’s control was a quick and easy process. That was mostly due to Kara, who had insisted that Lena build connections between the board members and employees when Lex essentially abandoned the company in his crusade against the Supers. Even gone, Kara was still saving Lena. Lena thought that it was high time she returned the favor. 

Lena retreated to her personal lab two days after returning to National City and wasted no time. This wasn’t something that Lena could run multiple trials on before deeming it successful. She would only have one attempt to get this right, which meant she had to get all of her calculations exactly right on the first try. There were far too many variables to consider. 

The first step, Lena figured, in travelling through time was to figure out the equation for the speed at which time passed. She quickly ran into a roadblock and reached out to the only person who might have been able to help. She was lucky that the Legends had yet to return to the temporal zone when Lena reached out to contact Gideon. She suspected that such an occurrence was more planned than it was a coincidence due to the fact that Gideon gave up the missing variable Lena needed without any fuss. A message from Sara and Ava followed, advising Lena to be careful messing with time and wishing her good luck on her mission. There was a post script from Sara telling her to say hi to Kara, when she saw her again. It seemed that Lena’s plans were more obvious than she thought, but Lena wasn’t too concerned about it. As long as no one tried to stop her, and Lena didn’t think they would, she honestly didn’t care if they knew what she was doing. 

With the equation issue solved, Lena set out to answer the second and most important questions on her list: how far back should she go?

The simplest solution would be to go back to the day before that final battle, but there was no guarantee that Lena could stop Lex’s attack in time. There was still too much risk. 

The second option Lena considered was going back to just after Crisis, before Lena started to wage her own personal war against Supergirl. She could keep Lex from getting too powerful, patch things over with Kara and they could take him down together. Lena shot that idea down as well. She had no idea how many contingency plans Lex already had in place at that time and no way of knowing how much damage he could do. 

Lena quickly decided that the only way to keep Kara from dying at Lex’s hand was to keep Lex from ever rising to power again in the first place. But what about Kara? Lena needed to be in a time where Kara trusted her, otherwise they would never be able to work together. If this was going to work at all, they couldn’t build their friendship or anything more than that on lies. 

The only way Lena could think of fixing all of this was to start all over. She needed to go back to the very beginning of her friendship with Kara. 

With a date in mind, Lena began working on the final component of her trip.

Because Lena was only sending her consciousness back in time rather than physically travelling there herself, it was simple enough to build the headgear and attach it to the computer that would run the program Lena had designed for the task. Lena had the sense to leave a note addressed to Alex that explained everything that Lena was doing, just in case. She hoped that Alex would never read the note but Lena was too much of a pessimist for that. The fact that she wanted this to work so bad was probably a sign that it wouldn’t work at all. 

Nevertheless, Lena resolved to try. Kara deserved that at the very least. 

After checking the equations for the tenth time, Lena set the date she wanted to travel into the computer and started the algorithm. She settled on the exam table with the headpiece in place. There was no time like the present, after all, and Lena had wasted more than enough time with Kara. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again. 

With her mind focused only on Kara and all the wasted time between them, Lena let her eyes fall closed and the work she had done washed through her being. 

Lena awoke with a splitting headache and groaned into her pillow before her surroundings registered in her mind. Once she realized that was laying on a much more comfortable bed than the examination table in her lab, Lena sat upright in bed. She was in her bedroom, in her apartment in National City, but everything was just slightly off. It was like her apartment hadn’t been lived in yet. 

With a gasp, Lena bolted from her bed, her headache forgotten as she scrambled for her phone to check the date. The model of the phone was enough to let Lena know that she had successfully made it to the past, but she needed to know the date to be sure. Lena could have cried in relief when she finally got her phone on and unlocked but she held the tears in until she was standing in her living room and had turned the television on. There, wearing a sunny smile and her original suit, was Kara. The coverage showed Supergirl stopping a collision between a school bus and semi-truck. 

Lena covered her mouth as a sob escaped her throat. Kara was here, Kara was alive. Lena could save her. Lena did save her. Kara was alive, even if she had no idea who Lena was, she was alive. They had a second chance and this time Lena wasn’t going to waste a moment. 

Making her way to her home office, dimly aware of the way her home seemed so unlived in with the absence of the last five years worth of memorabilia, Lena searched through her desk until she found a simple notebook bound in black leather. The notebook was small enough that Lena would be able to carry it on her person easily, which was good because that was the only way that Lena could be sure the information she put in the notebook was safe. A list of important events that would be happening in the next five years was not something that would be safe as a digital file. Even L-Corp’s servers could, and would, be hacked. Armed with a mechanical pencil and determined not to lose Kara again, Lena began writing. 

The first list was much simpler than the second one that Lena wrote down. First, Lena created a to-do list for herself. Staring with what Lena considered the most important, she wrote:

befriend Kara again

befriend Supergirl 

It seemed silly to list both halves of Kara’s identity as separate entities but Lena had to acknowledge the fact that she was essentially starting from scratch with both Kara and Supergirl. She would need to build a relationship with both versions of the woman she loved separately before she could be let in on Kara’s secret. Selfishly, Lena hoped it wouldn’t take her near as long to prove herself trustworthy again. Leaving complicated thoughts of time travel and relationships to be pondered over later, Lena continued with her list. 

make anti-kryptonite suit

upgrade supersuit

put Lillian away

Deal With Lex

Again, Lena paused for a moment before moving on to other matters. She would have to deal with her equally complicated feelings about her family later. 

build Watchtower

keep Kara alive 

The last item was underlined three times. 

Turning a page in her notebook, Lena began her second list. This one was more of a timeline than a list, a timeline of all the important events that would happen in the near future, from the Daxamite invasion, to Reign’s attack (Lena made a note to bring Sam to National City as soon as possible), to Red Daughter and everything that happened with Lex, to Crisis and Leviathan and finally, to the battle that had resulted in Kara’s death. 

From the rules of time travel that Barry and the Legends followed, Lena knows that there will be some events that she simply cannot change. There will be things that she can’t stop from happening no matter how hard she tries, but she was okay with that. As long as Lena can minimize the damage of those events with her advanced knowledge and, most importantly, as long as she can keep Kara safe, Lena could cope with all the rest. Kara’s death would be the one thing that Lena would change, no matter if the universe wanted her to or not. 

Before she could make any changes though, Lena needed to get to work. After all, it wasn’t every day that a woman got to meet the love of her life for the second time.

[smiting-finger]

alive, and back on my usual nonsense

So after getting preoccupied with other things and temporarily falling off the face of the planet (for like an entire year ಥωಥ), I was thinking about the kdrama Mr. Queen (which I've been meaning to watch), and the Chinese novel it was based on (太子妃升职记, which I read a few years ago and very much enjoyed), and this popped out--

Wei Wuxian’s first thought is that there seem to be an awful lot of female voices around, for a bedroom inhabited by two men. Did he drink too much last night? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s overindulged on a trip to the town and woken up in a strange place the next morning, but that kind of problem has been cropping up a lot less frequently now that he has Lan Zhan around to ferry him home.

(Sometimes literally, on his back. His broad, strong--)

But perhaps Lan Zhan had gotten drunk, too? In which case, Wei Wuxian should consider them lucky to have woken up surrounded by people, rather than chickens, rabbits or, notably, on one occasion, mounds of resentful cabbages.

The chatter around him continues, pitched high with youth and - is that anxiety? It's interspersed with the odd interjection from what sounds like one (calmer, if more exasperated) older woman and a man. Probably not a nunnery, he decides. Perhaps the back rooms of a pleasure house? Although, if that’s the case, this amount of excitement over a mere two men is honestly a little excessive.

He reaches out tentatively, but pats all the way across the mattress to the edge without finding his usual bedfellow. A much less tentative venture towards the other side produces similar results.

Hm.

Wei Wuxian cracks open an eye and heaves himself upright, absent-mindedly scratching at his (unusually soft - as much as he hates to admit it, maybe Nie Huaisang has a point about drinking less and training more) side and squinting into the too-bright light until the person-shaped blur in front of him sharpens into focus.

“Niang niang!” a complete stranger cries tearfully, clutching at the sleeve of his other arm. “You’re awake! Thank Heavens, you’re awake! Physician Liu, quick, quick!”

A cushion is produced from somewhere and thrust expectantly between Wei Wuxian and the elderly man sitting at his bedside.

He sighs. It’s probably not worth fighting.

Wei Wuxian smacks his upturned wrist onto the unusually lavish brocade and is only a little surprised when it’s covered by a cloth before the physician reaches to take it.

(Do they think he’s diseased?)

((Is he diseased?!))

(((Is that why Lan Zhan isn’t here?)))

He looks at the row of young girls (+ 1 matron) kneeling along the wall to his left, dressed identically to the first and also now beginning to prostrate themselves and wail about “Niang niang!” and blessings and deserving to die.

Not a pleasure house, then.

He looks around at the rest of the richly-furnished room and its intricately-carved wooden furniture, the wealth of jade carvings and the obscene amount of gold that's gilding … everything (so shiny). The opulence of it all would put even Jin Guangshan to shame.

So, not a nunnery either.

He looks down at the small hands, delicate wrists and - he clutches one abruptly just to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him - breasts of the body that he certainly was not inhabiting yesterday.

“Well,” he says aloud, unable to stop himself from wincing at the high, soft voice that emerges despite fully expecting it. “It’s not the first time this has happened.”

===

Two days, one diagnosis of shock-induced memory loss and some discreet enquiries (as well as some indiscreet enquiries) later, this is what he knows about his situation:

He’s the main consort (unfavoured) of the crown prince of whatever place he’s landed in;

Three days ago, following a disagreement with one Consort Yun (favoured, main competitor for husband’s affections);

In the course of this disagreement, both women somehow fell into a palace lake and mostly-drowned;

Consort Yun (admittedly quite pretty) was revived at the scene, but Wei Wuxian took a full day to “miraculously” recover;

Angered by the unseemly behaviour of her daughters-in-law, particularly upon learning that the Crown Princess’s first act upon waking was to stumble upon a chance meeting between the Crown Prince and Consort Yun in one of the pleasure gardens and bodily throw herself between them (a tactical error on Wei Wuxian’s part. He’d been trying to throw himself over the battlements to freedom, but he’d gotten lost and scaled the wrong wall), the Empress (Crown Prince’s political opponent, not particularly fond of either consort) grounded both of them to their respective residences for a month, with no visitors allowed.

Which brings him to his current position, feeding the fish in his personal pond as an excuse to be alone. Not truly alone - he shoots a pointed glance at the maids watching anxiously from the other side of the courtyard - because he’s apparently a “suicide risk” now (and honestly, yes, he’d meant to throw himself off that roof, but he hadn’t meant to die - it’s simply that this new body’s cultivation level is not what he’s come to expect even from Mo Xuanyu’s modest abilities), but alone enough to start planning his next move.

Direct escape is out - he didn’t have a plan for what to do once he’d gotten out anyway, and honestly he’s better-resourced for finding out how he got here in the Palace than anywhere else, so it’s no great loss.

“What do you think, Master Fish?” Wei Wuxian asks a gold and black spotted koi with particularly sage-looking whiskers. “Shall I just stay here for the time being?”

It’s not a terrible place to be for the time being, he must admit, throwing more food into the water and watching the fish swarm. Being grounded, he’s at no risk from the Crown Prince’s amorous attentions for a month (a salute of gratitude to the Empress for the inadvertent protection). And thanks to Consort Yun and her voluptuous figure (and if the Crown Prince is more partial to that than the Zhao Feiyan style of willowy fragility that Wei Wuxian seems to have inherited, who can honestly blame him?), he’s at no great risk from them after that, either (a salute of gratitude to the unknowing sister-in-arms, taking one - and hopefully a great many more after that - for the team).

According to his maid (sleeve-clutcher extraordinaire, who even now is boring two holes into his skull with her woeful gaze from across the way while he does nothing more suspicious than scatter another handful of feed towards some latercomer fish), the body he’s inhabiting comes from a powerful military lineage. In particular, her father is (was?) a powerful general who currently commands more than half the nation’s military forces and has the absolute trust of the Emperor. So that more or less keeps him safe from the machinations of the majority of the nest of vipers in this palatial cesspit.

That just leaves the Empress, who - if his servants and the smuggled letters from the Original Goods’s mother (a salute of gratitude to the worthy woman for spelling it out so that even such an interloper as he can understand) are anything to go by - would definitely kill him to damage the Crown Prince’s political standing or throw any sort of roadblock in the way of him from becoming Emperor.

Less immediately - if his secret informants are anything to go by (a salute of gratitude to the resourceful host for cultivating such a valuable resource if not her dantian) - it also leaves the Crown Prince, who, upon cementing his power as Emperor, would also definitely kill his current Crown Princess in order to wedge his beloved Consort Yun into the Empress role.

Really, the only road to any sort of security for someone in his position is to raise the next Imperial heir, outlive the Original Goods’s faithless husband and become the Empress Dowager.

Hopefully Wei Wuxian will be long gone by then, but if leaving means the Original Goods will return (from … Mo Xuanyu’s body? The Ether? Or???) - well, he doesn’t want to repay her hospitality by leaving her house in a mess, so to speak. So he’ll try to set her on that career path, if he can.

But that’s an aspirational goal. First, he has to not-die before he can find out how to get himself home.

And find out how to get himself home.

If getting himself home is even possible.

Wei Wuxian dumps the rest of the fish food in the water and yells.

(It startles the maids, the fish and the poor eunuch the Crown Prince has sent as a spy into falling out of the tree he’s been hiding in and into the prickly bushes below.)

===

The problem with “staying for the time being” is … well, how interminably boring it is. The approved list of hobbies for an Imperial consort seems to consist of: eating (but not too much), sleeping (but not too much), embroidery (which he can’t do), reading (but only texts on female virtue and the occasional terrible novel), playing music (but not the flute), conversing with his maids (who are very sweet, but are all like, 12) and walking in the gardens (which he’s not allowed to do).

Honestly, it’s no wonder all the consorts turn to scheming and murder.

It only takes a week of confinement for him to snap and sneak himself out for a nighttime adventure, setting off to explore the grounds and see … a night-blooming flower, a ghost, a rat, he’ll take pretty much anything at this point.

In the end, he finds none of these things, but the walking is still pretty nice, and he even hears the faint sounds of a guqin wafting over from one of the other consorts’ residences. (He should probably learn who lives where at some point, but it’s not exactly a priority. What’s he going to do with the information when he can only visit during the nighttime? Peep?) When Wei Wuxian wanders closer, the notes resolve themselves into the familiar strains of Flowing Waters, and his breath catches on a sudden surge of longing to hear the same song, played by a different set of fingers.

(First played on a familiar guqin and then, later, accompanied by soft humming between soft, worn sheets, played across the edges of Wei Wuxian’s ribs, along the dip of his spine, and finally lower, into--)

((Is Lan Zhan thinking about him?))

(((Is Lan Zhan looking for him?)))

Stumbling blindly on, he’s so caught up in missing Lan Zhan that he misses the first few stanzas of the next piece, and it isn’t until the music starts to rise in a familiar refrain that he freezes.

He knows that song.

He’s one of the only two people who know that song, which is in fact how he got caught out the last time he found himself in a farce of an identity charade, by the only other person who knows that song, who must be - who must be -

Lan Zhan, his blood sings in his ears as he takes off in a dead run towards the source of the playing. Up ahead of him, small courtyard glows softly with the light of the only burning lamp in their vicinity. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan-

He scrambles up the wall with the ease of a lifetime’s practice, using bloody-minded determination to make up for the lack of muscle memory.

“Lan Zhan,” he yelps, forgetting to whisper in his excitement as he flings himself over the top and into the branches of a convenient, wall-side tree. “Lan Zhan, it’s me, I-”

This is, naturally, when his foot slips. He manages to catch hold of a branch, but his tender hands and puny wrists, unused to holding up anything heavier than a chicken leg, fail to maintain their hold through his weight, and he tumbles down the trunk into a sad puddle of fabric on the ground.

“Lan Zhan,” he gasps, fighting to untangle himself from the ridiculous train that, admittedly, made a considerable contribution to cushioning his fall. He clambers up onto his hands and knees--

--and looks straight into the wide-eyed stare of Consort Yun.

===

“I cannot believe,” Wei Wuxian growls, palming the ample softness of one exposed breast with one hand, while shoving the other deeper into the many (too many) layers of fabric between them and between Lan Zhan’s splayed legs, “that after everything that’s happened, you’re still taller than me.”

Lan Zhan huffs a laugh that turns quickly into a moan, and Wei Wuxian swallows it, smothers Lan Zhan’s gasping breaths with his own parted lips and sucks them greedily down even as he coaxes out more with twisting fingers here, another tug to Lan Zhan’s poor, abused nipple there.

He slides his fingers back between slick folds and then upwards again, pushing in and out in a few languid strokes before curling them to make Lan Zhan arch harder against the wall behind him, tilt his head back and expose a beautifully vulnerable stretch of neck to Wei Wuxian's teeth.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan murmurs, and his voice is different, the shape of his lips is different, but the way Wei Wuxian’s name fits inside his mouth (tender, beloved), the way he tucks the flyaway strands of hair behind Wei Wuxian’s ear, the look in his eyes when their gazes meet (warm, open, knowing) are the same, same, same.

===

===

I am entirely too lazy to write the rest of it, but afterwards they regroup and it turns out LWJ has been in this world for exactly one more day than WWX, having woken up in Consort Yun’s body when she was “revived”. Consort Yun is the daughter of a high-ranking Minister in the Treasury or something, so Lan Zhan been using his new position as the daughter of a ~scholarly family~ to build a reputation for being really into Buddhist scripture, and eventually he’s going to request to be allowed to go to a nearby Temple to attain some virtuous brownie points for the Imperial family via prayer as his penitence.

That there’s also an elderly monk living there who’s got a reputation for being super good with the divine mysteries and spiritual lore about curses and whatnot is totally immaterial, if Lan Zhan happens to run into that guy, it’ll be a total coincidence, yeah.

So WWX also starts on the divine penitence route, and if everyone thinks it’s because the Crown Princess refuses to be outdone by Consort Yun, then even better, and two weeks into confinement they wear the Empress down into letting them make the trip, and when they get there, turns out the monk is Nie Huaisang.

(NHS: “OH THANK GOD, I’ve done the research but the lynchpin of this mess is definitely somewhere in the Palace and I could not for the life of me figure out a way to get in.”

WWX: “That's nice, but seriously, how come you got to stay a man?”

NHS: “My friend, I may be a man, but my balls are currently swinging somewhere around my ankles.”

WWX: “...show me.”

And LWJ is like “NO.” except WWX can tell by the look in his eye that he sort of wants to see, too).

So they return to the Palace and WWX whirls into one of their morning audiences with the Empress, distraught about a ~dream from the ancestors~ where they warned him about disrupted ley lines or accumulated resentment or an offended minor god that needs investigation by someone, and “How convenient, because we met just the guy!” And the Empress looks like she was Done Five Years Ago, but the Empress Dowager, who’s old and doddery, is like “oh no, you must bring him!” and the Empress mutters “to fucking what, offend some major gods and really do the job properly?” and that’s how they find out the Empress is Jiang Cheng.

In the meantime, the confinement edict expires and WWX+LWJ are allowed to return to their regular programming, which means that as the legal wife, WWX can continuously summon LWJ to his residence for increasingly tenuous and spurious reasons. The best thing is, it’s not even out of character for the Crown Princess, who used to regularly summon Consort Yun to subject her to not-so-veiled barbs and petty torments. So WWX summons LWJ, and then immediately expels both their entourages from the room, instructing that no one is to enter on pain of death.

So LWJ’s maids are gnashing their teeth helplessly while all sorts of piteous moans, pained gasps and the occasional scream emanate from behind the closed door, and when their mistress finally emerges there are no marks on her body, but she’s weak-kneed and having trouble walking straight, so who knows what kind of terrible tortures the Crown Princess has visited upon her.

The Crown Prince obviously hears about this, so he bursts in one day without warning, only to find the two sitting together, the Crown princess’s arms around Consort Yun’s waist, her cheek pillowed on one heaving bosom, and although she’s smiling besottedly at him now, he could have sworn that he felt killing intent being directed at him only a second ago? And to tell the truth, he’s not really in love Consort Yun either, it’s all an act to keep the two consorts (and their families) pitted in a power struggle against each other until he can finally outmanoeuvre the Empress and cement his position as heir to the throne (and also to protect his actual favourite, a third consort who’s a nondescript nobody with no political backing). So the fact that “It was all a misunderstanding, we’re friends now,” his Crown Princess says sweetly (and did she … rub her cheek against his Consort’s chest? Must be his imagination) is not the worst thing (at least neither of them/their families can be enlisted by the Empress in support of her son, and if they’re caught up with Being Besties, then at least they’re not bullying his actual favourite), but for some reason he still feels kind of … threatened? Like someone’s making moves on his wife, which is absurd because they’re both his wives, but the vibes he gets from the first one in particular are kind of … off?

In any case, the crew solve the mystery, find the lynchpin object (which turns out to be a jade dildo belonging to one of the Emperor’s favoured consorts because of course it is), and wake up in their real bodies, in their real world, to a very apologetic hermit-inventor-cultivator whose property they stumbled onto while pursuing a resentful beast. Turns out they triggered the glamour/enchantment/psychic maze world he created as a security system because, “I just didn’t want to risk people getting into my stuff, you know? I’ve got some things that could be very dangerous in the wrong hands”. WWX is like “oh yeah, for sure” and JC is like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR SURE? HOW IS THIS AN UNDERSTANDABLE RESPONSE, IF YOU’RE AFRAID PEOPLE WILL TOUCH YOUR SHIT THEN JUST ENCHANT SOME FUCKING WARRIOR GOLEMS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.”

[chibi-mushroom]

Hey everyone! Finally get to post my piece for the memory of promises zine! check out the link here if you want to grab one of your own copies in the leftover sale! I was so happy to be able to join in on this zine, and I hope you guys enjoy all the work that went into it! (Also keep in mind this was written before MoM.)

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Namine rubbed her temples and looked at the clock. Midnight already. DiZ was not going to like this. The next time he came into the white room would bring on some lecture or punishment of some kind. She had been working furiously all afternoon trying to get past this one section of memory, but there was something that was keeping her back. Her pulse began to race. She was feeling sick. The door to the white room opened and with a squeak, Namine ducked under the table, fearing the familiar stride of the man in red.

"It's okay, it's just me. You can come out now." A soft voice sounded in her ears. "You're safe. DiZ said he needed to run an errand and wouldn't be back for a couple of days."

Slowly looking up, Namine could see the outstretched hand of the only comfort she had in this lonely place. "Riku. You're back."

She took his offering and stood up. He hadn't let go of her hand just yet, blindfold still covering those beautiful blue green eyes he had. She was glad it stopped him from seeing things like her girlish blush. He was only offering his hand as a friend. Besides, it was wrong for her to want to be with him- nobodies weren't supposed to feel anything. So why did she?

"You're shaking." Riku stated simply. "Have you eaten anything today?"

So he could even feel the slight tremor in her hands. "No, not exactly."

"Do you want me to get something for you? I think there are some leftovers in the fridge."

"No, I'm alright. I have to get back to work." Namine tried to take her hand from his, but he held onto it all the tighter, leaning down a little to be at eye level with her. 

"You were working when I left, and I can tell you haven't gotten any sleep. How are you expecting to take care of Sora when you can't take care of yourself?"

Right. Namine thought. He's just like DiZ. All he cares about is getting Sora restored. You're just a tool.

Still, she couldn't help but notice the way her breath caught in her throat as his blinded eyes sunk to meet her tired ones. Maybe she should take a small break. All of this stress was making her read too much into small gestures.

Namine simply nodded, and Riku left to warm her up some food. Sensing that going back to Sora's memories would be futile, she grabbed her sketch pad and turned it to the very last page. This was her secret page, covered in things she thought about. Mindless doodles she drew when she was waiting for the computer to check on Sora’s physical well-being.

The sketch pad was not necessary for her magic to work. She could rearrange memories- crush the hearts of her poor unsuspecting victims- without it. She used it though to help her concentrate. By visualizing the memories, she was able to make a more convincing edit or capture the feelings that were hiding beneath the surface. So many times she had drawn Sora, Riku and Kairi together. And sure there were strong feelings of both love and jealousy, but had she not had her sketch pad, she might have missed Sora's emotions of gratitude for two stalwart best friends, confusion about school topics they had recently studied, and hope that Kairi would want to go with him to the first school dance, even though he knew they would just go together and bail early to hang out on the play island like they always did whenever the school had some social.

"Here you go. It's nothing special, but it's better than nothing." Riku interrupted her thoughts with a plate of food.

With a gasp, Namine hurried to cover her sketch pad. Even though she knew he couldn't see it, he moved so gracefully that she sometimes wondered if he really was blind. Although those first couple of days made the mansion quite a bit louder with his cries of annoyance as he bumped into furniture. He even fell into the secret compartment that hid the computer lab, but luckily managed to land safely.

"Drawing something you don't want anyone to see?" Riku smirked. 

"No!" Namine replied a bit sharper than she thought. "Maybe."

Riku laughed as he set their plates down and pulled a chair over. "I'm only kidding. You don't have to be working on Sora nonstop. If you want to take a moment for yourself, then do it."

"No, I need to be working on Sora. It was my fault he's like this in the first place. I want to keep my promise." Namine picked up the white plastic fork. For once would it hurt to have some color around here?

With a sigh, Riku held his hand out for her to hold. "We've been over this, Nam. What happened wasn't your fault. You were being used." Softly Riku muttered "you still are."

Namine looked at him for a moment and then looked down at her food. She picked at it for a few moments before softly sliding her hand in his and taking a couple of bites. She ate in a comfortable silence, simply feeling the pressure that came from the gentle touch. This sort of thing wasn't unusual for them. They could usually be found in silence with their hands connected. But the mountain of pressure from the recent block in memories and lack of self care was threatening to squish Namine with its enormous weight.

"How's the restoration going?" Riku asked.

Namine's stomach began to twist around itself. "I'm….not sure." 

Riku squeezed her hand, urging her to explain. Namine sighed, unsure of how to continue. Would he get mad if she told the truth? He had slowly been becoming more like DiZ, after all. He used to be there with her when she was getting told off. These days, Riku was never usually in the white room for more than five minutes unless it was late at night.

"You remember what Sora's mom used to tell him all the time, right?"  Riku recalled.

"Never talk to strangers on the play island?"

Riku chuckled, remembering a secret promise. "A problem shared is a problem halved. If you tell me, it might relieve some of the pressure on you."

There was no avoiding it, not as long as he held her hand. 

 "It's just that, well-" Namine fumbled for the words. "There's been a bit of a roadblock. I've been doing my best to sort it out, tracing the connections, but it's like the memories slip away as soon as I think I have a grasp on them. I may have gone through half a notebook trying to find a solid piece."

There was a pause, as if Riku were considering what to say. 

"I'll go get you a new notebook tomorrow, then. As for the memories, we'll get it figured out. You need to take a break, anyway."

"No!" Namine swallowed back further emotion. Maybe she really did need some sleep. She was being more irrational than she expected. "No, it's fine. I'm sure I'm doing something wrong."

"Don't say stuff like that. If there's anyone who can make this situation right, it's you. Please, just take a few hours to rest tomorrow, okay?" Riku squeezed her hand again.

"I don't really have a choice here, do I?" Namine sighed.

"You always have a choice. I'm just asking you as someone who cares a lot about you."

Someone who cares? Namine thought. She slowly nodded in reply. Maybe a break was exactly what she needed.

"Thank you, Riku."

One Year Later

Again Riku tried to beat Marluxia, and again he was defeated. He only had this last battle to finish, having started against the organization members he recognized or had personally fought against. Which, admittedly wasn't many, but after several attempts, he was down to the last. It frustrated him that he still wasn't quite used to the keyboard controls, and Sora's moves were much less based in strength and relied much more on magic. Riku had never been very good with magic, focusing on perfecting his cure and dark firaga spells instead of learning the large array of magic that his friends had mastered. 

Some keyblade master I turned out to be. Riku thought, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms. I can't even stop my two best friends from leaving me again. This is just like back then…

His mind began to drift away with thoughts of Castle Oblivion and Twilight Town. He heard the door open and gentle footsteps move toward him.

"Hey Aerith. We can work on that scarf in a minute. I have to get some more ethers for data Sora first."

"I take it the fight didn't go well then?" A soft voice walked closer.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. Not Aerith. 

"Hey Namine. How could you tell?"

Namine placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. "You're really tense. Besides, I could feel your frustration from a block away."

What anger and annoyance had once plagued Riku's mind had since washed away. All he could register was how reassuring Namine's hand on his shoulder felt. She smelled nice, too. A faint blush warmed his cheeks. Ever since Kairi had insisted on going to sleep and Terra had left for the dark realm with Aqua and Ven, Namine was the only person Riku shared everything with. She had heard him vent several times, and she had been helping Aerith teach him how to knit. It was her delicate fingers that had lead him through the steps of a cable.

"I guess I need a little bit of a break." Riku said with a sigh. "Wanna go get some ice cream or something?"

"Sure." Namine smiled, stepping back so he could get up and stretch. They began to talk as they walked to their usual ice cream shop. 

Since Scrooge, Huey and Dewey had returned home, the ice cream shop had been manned by one of the local citizens. He usually gave Riku a discount, so Riku usually put some munny in the tip jar. It had become routine over the past year to go whenever Namine came to visit from Twilight Town.

"How is everything going with Roxas and Xion?" Riku asked, sitting down and unwrapping his fruit bar.

"Slow." Namine replied, taking a small lick from her chocolate cherry ice cream cone. She wanted to try all of the flavors, and this was the last one. "Not too bad, but I think I preferred the strawberry cheesecake the best."

"That was a flavor Kairi always liked." Riku smiled softly. 

When he saw the way Namine looked for just the hair of a second, he realized that was probably the wrong thing to say. He inwardly cursed himself and his inability to be the suave guy all the girls had thought he was growing up. Kairi and Namine didn't get much of a chance to talk after she got her replica body, as Kairi had almost immediately asked to be put under. Riku wondered what it was like living inside a heart of pure light. Just like Castle Oblivion, she didn't talk about it much.

"We should get some for her when she wakes up." Namine continued to eat her cone. There was an uncomfortable silence for just a moment before Namine spoke up again. "Who were you fighting when I came in?"

"Marluxia. He was the head of the castle, right?"

Namine nodded.

"I never really got to meet him as I was down in the basement back then. I'm sorry you had to deal with a guy like him."

"It's alright. I...had some support. There was Sora and Donald and Goofy. And despite everything I did to him, there was your replica, too." Namine spoke slowly, choosing her words with care. "But don't feel bad. He made his decisions, like everyone else."

This time, it was Riku's turn to nod in agreement, taking a bite from his treat.

"After the data battles are all said and done, what happens next?" Namine asked softly.

"I...don't know. All I know is that I've been having these weird dreams lately."

"I wondered. You look tired." Namine grabbed on to Riku's hand, intertwining their fingers.

Maybe it was a reflex, maybe it was a force of habit, like how they used to sit back in the old mansion. Either way, the touch on its own was enough to pull Riku away from the dark thoughts that usually sat at the horizon of his mind. He squeezed her hand in response.

"Don't hesitate to call me if you ever need someone to talk to. I miss our little midnight chats." Namine admitted.

"I do too." Riku smiled softly. "They really helped clear my mind back then."

"A problem shared is a problem halved, remember?" Namine was glad she could actually see his eyes as she recalled back to his words that helped her through her time at the old mansion. "Care to share anything?"

Riku paused. He sighed before starting to speak. After he told her of the recurring dream he'd been having with the buildings and the feeling of being watched, he also admitted to the weight that had been pinned on his shoulders. 

"I know it might sound silly, but I can't help but wonder if these dreams are connected to Sora somehow. I just wish I could understand it more." Riku finished his bar and set the popsicle stick on the bench beside him.

Namine had just finished her ice cream as well, wiping her face with the napkin. "Maybe it's time you take another journey."

"With the data battle still to fight and Kairi still asleep? I can't leave now."

"Maybe not now, but after the last battle is won." Namine gently pulled his hand close to her and began massaging it. "But that means I can't follow you. Will you be alright on your own? Maybe you can check Kairi's dreams."

"I...don't know. I haven't used my dream eater powers in a long time and the process is still kind of fuzzy for me." He could feel his muscles relax as she worked at his weary hand.

Doubt was rising in his chest. Maybe she was right. Who was he kidding? He wasn't ready for this kind of thing. He wasn't like Sora or Kairi who could follow their hearts at a moment's notice. He couldn't always feel the way it was trying to lead him.

But as he saw Namine patiently working on his hands, the stiff muscles being brought to relax against her fingers, a light shone through the storm of his doubt. How he hadn't realized it before was a mystery. Ever since they had met, she had been the light in the dark, just as he had provided shade for her in the brightest situations. As she finished the massage, she tenderly squeezed his hands, reassuring him that she was there and willing to help. Surely that was love.

He felt love for her, no question. But with Sora and Kairi gone and asleep, there never seemed to be a good moment to tell her what his heart really wanted to say. 

"We...we should be getting back." Namine sighed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No, but then, I'm not really all that sure of anything anymore."

"If there's anything I know, it's that things will get better. We'll find Sora. I don't know how or when, but we will." Namine took his hand again, standing before him.

Namine took a quick breath and then leaned over, placing a quick kiss atop his head. Ordinarily, she wouldn't be able to reach, but since he was sitting down, she could offer a small token of her affection and confidence in his abilities.

She and Riku's faces filled with blush, although a smile tugged at her lips. Namine didn't have enough courage to kiss him on the lips like she had wanted to for so long, but this was safe. He couldn't spurn her for a harmless kiss to the head. After all, what was some reassurance between friends?

"Thank you, Namine." Riku had a hard time looking at this angel of a woman without his heartbeat increasing.

To think she was willing to be by his side after all this. He decided there and then that he would listen to his heart and tell her of his feelings...after they set everything right. Once Sora and Kairi were home and together, then they could sort out their own relationship. It would give him yet another reason to bring his best friend home. 

He could still feel the kiss on his forehead, and it brought a genuine smile to his face. He stood up and began walking away from Merlin's house.

"Don't feel like you have to stop working on the data battles on my account. I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright." Namine stopped for a second.

"We can get back to those soon enough. I need a little longer before I get back into it." He took his trash and threw it into a nearby can. "There are some fountains that are really pretty this time of day nearby if you want to check them out with me."

A smile formed on Namine's lips. "I'd love to, Riku."

[inkla-kirisame]

Full moon (Werewolf! Razor x reader)

Supernatural AU

About the reader: they are a Pyro Wizard, and their fight style is like Childe’s but without the spear and with a catalism, they also has a familiar (a “cat” named Iblis)

I'm surprised that my Baizhu post is so popular (by my standards)

And take a look at my attempt to make something with a gender neutral reader

(PS: The GIF it’s not mine, I found it on Google)

Werewolves, one of the most feared creatures in Teyvat

This was because of their transformation during the full moon, were they become more aggressive

Many cities closed their doors when the full moon appeared in order to protect their citizens from them

The Knights of Favonius were obviously occupied with every full moon, it was better to save everyone they could than no one

Who were you in this? One of the newest Knights of Favonius and Lisa's prentice, you also had a Pyro vision

You kinda hated werewolves, why? Because you were an orphan because of them, you actually live near Springvale and they were hunters, ironic, you though, because what they hunted ended up hunting them

Still you kinda hated them, they didn't wanted you to become nothing else than a hunter, one time Lisa admired your knowledge and offer you to go to Sumeru academy but your parents refused, you also always returned your books on time so Lisa gave you permission to take more books and a more time to have them, your parents often hid them or even destroy them so you could focus on becoming a hunter

They were also nasty to say the least, even Draff admired their dedication but hated they ideals and methods, sometimes hunting for fun, need or simply because they thought it might be a danger if you don't kill a creature now

But after their death you were free to do whatever you wanted, so you went to Sumeru academy and returned to Monstadt and learned things from Lisa and later, becoming the newest member of the Knights of Favonius

Kaeya commonly tried to flirt with you, you always say no, the succubus was disappointed but still tried to flirt with you

Jean and Lisa liked you a lot, you were like the secretary of the Knights, reminded them of certain events

Amber, our ‘favorite’ bunny girl, and Klee always were with you, because you were in their therms, the coolest little sister (because you were the youngest Knight)

For Sucrose, you were one of the Knights who understood her, and Albedo liked you a lot

So everyone liked you, and they knew not to mess with you, specially in battle

You were a calm boy/girl every other aspect with the exception of the battlefield, you were a monster in there, everyone who knew about you and were your enemies were afraid of you

It was a calm evening, you were having a cup of (tea or coffee) with your (favorite dessert) while reading a book, sure nothing out of the ordinary happened with the exception of the people and the Knights bring materials for the roadblock

They only had a weak before the full moon

"(Y/N)!" You turned around to see your teacher, Lisa in front of you "I knew you were here, I need to ask you something"

"What do you need Lisa?" You said taking a sip of your cup

"Well, you know that in one week is the full moon, but I'm a little thigh with my duties, can you deliver a package for me?"

You knew that her duties were going to get the books not returned, and there were many, so you would obviously accepted but not without the details

"For who and where?"

"A boy, he is a little taller than you, has silver hair, red eyes and has eye bags, he is dress up with some green pants, an orange shirt, and a hooded jacket of a dark brown color, in Wolvendom"

“I see, you know that a little risky, right?” You knew it, entering Wolvendom was like ventured into the wolf’s den, it was more dangerous this days

“Please (Y/N), I really need your help, plus, he probably will like you”

“Who is ‘he’”

“Oh, right, the name of the boy, the one who I need to deliver his things, is Razor”

“Razor? I feel sorry for the guy... his parents must really loved him”

Lisa’s eyes filled with sadness

“He is an orphan, like you, but he is a little bit special”

“Hmmmm?”

“Anyways, will you do it?”

“Yeah, sure, I don’t have anything to do, plus, I need some wolfhooks”

“Oh, while you are on that, can you bring me some?”

“Sure” you ended up your food and were about to pay but Lisa handed the money to pay the bill

“This time I pay” she blinked an eye to you “I hope you had fun in Wolvendom” you only gave her the book back and walked to the bridge of the city

“Iblis... come”

“I’m here, mister/mistress (Y/N)” a black cat with some amber like scars and fire eyes “I suppose we are going to Helldom”

“You really hate wolves and dogs despite not being a ‘cat’”

“Ha, ha, very funny mister/mistress” the familiar said and transformed intro a giant creature, like a puma but little bigger

“It won’t take long, promise” you said while you mounted the creature

The cat simply looked the path to Wolvendom

“Promise me you’ll give me fish”

“Of course”

The cat then jumped to the water and began to run in it

Once they arrived to the land of the wolves, the cat returned to a little lantern that you carried away

“Despite you aren’t a cat, you really act like one.... so quiet... scares me, now, where is this Razor?”

You began walking around the woods in order to find the boy

“Ah, it seems it’s going to rain” you said looking at the sky slowly turning gray while you holded your hat from blowing off

Just then, you sore you could see something in the bushes, probably a wolf, you knew that it wasn’t a good idea to fight him, because 1: you knew that a hurt wolf will make you the target of the whole pack and 2: you needed to bring the pack to 'Razor'

“Who is there?” Your only response where the bushes moving and then a boy appeared, green pants, orange shirt, dark brown hooded jacket, silver hair and red eyes with eye bags, yep this was the person Lisa asked you to deliver the package “Razor, right?” The only thing Lisa didn’t told you was that Razor was a werewolf, maybe that's why he was special

“Yes... you are?”

“(Y/N), (Y/N) (L/N)”

“You smell like... Lisa... you are Knight?”

Geese, this boy seriously need some classes of language, if he was at Sumeru, he probably be mocked by everyone

“Yes I'm a knight” you gave him the package “it’s from Lisa”

“Ah! Painkillers!” His ears twitched his ear in happiness “thanks, why Lisa not came?”

“She was busy with the librarian duties... you know, books not returned on time”

“Ah, yes, I know that” you began walking away “where you going?

“Im going for wolfhooks” Razor stopped you and gave you some that were stuck in his tail or hair, his tail was moving with excitement

“Thanks... but I actually need some more” you said coldly, you honestly felt uncomfortable and it wasn’t Razor’s fault, it was because you saw the death of your parents and you were kinda afraid of werewolves because of that

“Oh, I know a place where they grow” he said tooking your hand but before he could drag you there, Iblis came out and tried to scratch him and unfortunately, Razor released some electricity, causing an overloaded reaction

Razor ended up crushing in a tree and Iblis flied to the ground, you on the other hand, ended up in some bushes

“Argggg..... IBLIS!!!” At that moment the familiar ended up in the floor like he was in a lot of pain, Razor saw that

“Mister/mistress, I’m sorry...” the cat returned to the lantern while you cleaned your self

“Sigh, now what’s the worst that can happen now?” Then it rained

Razor then guided you to a cave, there was some dried wood, it could be used for a bonfire

While you prepared the bonfire, Razor went for something

“Thanks Iblis...”

“I’m sorry” he said while walking to the bonfire in order to light it up

You simply cover yourself with your arms trying to get warmer with no success until you feel something fluffy, like a wool or fur, being warped around you

"You seem cold"

"Yeah, maybe it doesn't have to be because we were out in the rain like for like fifteen minutes"

"Sorry, I got lost"

".... "

"Why are you cold?"

"Because I'm-"

"No, not that, cold to me"

"I don't like werewolves..."

"Why? Did they attacked you?"

"No, they killed my parents"

"They... They kill your lupical?"

"Lupical?"

"Family"

"Yep, they killed them, but I honestly owe them for that"

"You hated your Lupical?"

"Well, I loved them and that but they wanted me to become something I didn't want to become, so when they died I was free to do whatever I wanted" you said looking at the ceiling of the cave "by the way, did your painkillers survived the crush?"

He forgot that he had them with him when that crazy cat attacked him, unfortunately, the painkillers were destroyed by the impact

"Iblis"

"Yes, mister/mistress?"

"I won't give you fish or milk in a week" you turned around to see the werewolf "I'm sorry for this, I will make you some new painkillers in compensation"

"Thanks, but not worry for this, not necessary, only need them for transformation"

"It's very painful, right?" He nodded "I'm not a werewolf but I understand your pain, when I made a pact, he almost roasted me alive, it took me some time to get the burns away"

He looked confused, you two looked like you knew each other for so long

"Why he tried to roast you?" Said while looking at the feline creature

"Well, some familiars like to make you a test to see if you are worthy of them, that why he almost burned me alive" you giggle a little when you remember that day "but you suffer that pain every month, for how long are you a werewolf?"

"I... Not know.... I was like this all my life... Or at least from what I remember" he paused a little "I never accostumed to the pain"

You patted his head while giving him space besides you

"It seems that the rain won't stop sooner, we will have to collect the ingredients for the painkillers while it rains... Dang it..."

"You hate rain?"

"No, but I'm a Pyro user, my powers won't work during the rain if something attack us

"I have an electro vision, I can help you" Razor said excited while his tail moved with happiness "I protect you and you get the green things"

"Sound good for me, Iblis, you stay here and keep the fire alive"

"Understood..."

You left the blanket and gesture Razor to follow you, which he did

You must have been out there for a good while since you felt really cold and you didn't have all the things to make the painkillers

"We should return to cave"

"No, it's fine, we are almost finished" you said trembling from the cold

"You not look good"

"It's fine, let's just get the last thing"

Razor sighed internally and putted you his coat to at least make you a little more warmer

"We get it, we come back"

"Fine..."

You began searching the last herb while Razor guarded you, but he clearly was worried about you, you looked tired and he could sore that you were freezing

"Got it!"

You turned around to see Razor coming towards you and he grabbed you in a bridal style, you freaked out

"What are you doing!?"

"We are going back to cave, we will be faster this way" He said and began to run

You hugged Razor by the neck in fear you might accidentally slipped off his arms

When you arrived back at the cave, the feline creature almost had a heart attack

"Mister/mistress, take off your clothes!!! You can't be around with wet clothes, you might catch a cold!"

"I think I might already have... But I don't have spare clothes, and you know it!"

Then Razor gave you back his blanket

"Use for cover, I get us clothes while others dry"

"Thanks"

Once Razor was out of view, your familiar began to order you to take off your wet clothes which you did and you covered yourself with the blanket and wait for him to arrive with clothes

When he arrived, he looked at you while you stare at him uncomfortable

"Razor, I need privacy..."

"Oh" he turned around and faced the wall of the cave "I not look until you tell me to look"

"Thanks..."

In a day like this, you probably would be enjoying a hot chocolate while you were near the fire or taking a long and warm bath, it was rare for you to be outside in the rain, you weren't that accostumed to the rain

"Now you can turn around"

You both simply ate some meat he had in silence and after that you both went to sleep

The next morning, as you predicted, you had a fever

Razor was watching you while that fur ball that is your familiar went for ingredients for a chicken soup to make you feel better

"Razor, I'm cold"

"Cold? You burn!!!" It was part true, when you have fevers, your Pyro Vision is more a curse than a blessing, your temperature is more higher than the average temperature of a person with fever and touching you it was like touching a burning wood

"Can you bring me my bag? I think I have medicine in there"

He immediately bring you the bag, fortunately, all of you potions survived the explosion of yesterday

"bleh, I'll never accostumed to the taste of this things"

"What was in?"

"You probably don't want to know"

You looked outside, it wasn't raining anymore and it was a very calm morning

"Here, I made it" the silver haired boy gave you some hash browns but with the shape of a paw

"Thanks" you were kinda afraid to taste the hash browns because you didn't knew if he knew how to cook, but you decided to trust Razor with this

And to your surprise, the hash browns were good

"I didn't knew you knew how to cook Razor"

"Lisa show me"

"If you want, I can show you more things"

After Iblis came back with fowls for the soup and ate quietly, you began making the painkillers

Thankfully, you bring your portable alchemy kit, you never knew when you would really need it so you always carry it with you

Razor watched you grind some of the herbs you collect while you simply put a lizard tail in a cauldron, he really felt like he was going to barf at the awful smell and the things you put in the cauldron

"You really don't like the smell..."

"It smells horrible"

"I don't blame you, it might taste horrible and smells horrible but every medicine or potion taste horrible or smells like this"

Once you ended the potion, you closed the cauldron with an special lid and rest on one rock with Razor's blanket

"Let the mix rest for a while Razor, or it might turn you into a frog"

He immediately went with you, afraid of the cauldron, thinking it magically began to walk and turn him into a frog

"It won't turn into one if you don't drink what inside"

That at least calm him a little

"Your Lupical... How they were?"

"They were two hunters, I was supposed to be a hunter like them but I was a sucker for books and knowledge, despite they wanted me to be smart, they also wanted me to hunt with them, to which I didn't want to do it... More than one time they hid my book so I would returned them late or destroy them" you sighed "at least they didn't got what they wanted"

"What they hunt?"

"Rabbits, boards, some little animals and..."

"And?"

"Wolves...." You paused a little "they also helped with the protection of the city during full moon... Despite being my family, they were nasty people... One time I heard them planning to hunt the all wolves in Wolvendom... I guess I was the black sheep of the family"

"And you want kill wolves?"

"No, I don't want to... I'm not like them, if you ask me, I don't kill for fun, I only do it when it's necessary"

"What you think about me?"

"About you... Hmmm.... Well, you are nice, kind, a little naive and you really seem to care about your Lupical, unlike me, because I'm a... Lone wolf" he laughed a little by your response

"You not feel lonely?"

"Well... I have Iblis, Lisa is technically the one in charge of me... The Knights could be like the closest thing to a family but... I accostumed to be lonely and it's always been like that"

Razor look at you with pity, after all, he was accostumed to be in company of his pack and lone wolfs were a rare thing

"I be with you!"

You look at him with an unamused face

"When did I agree to that? Besides, you don't have your Lupical to take care of"

"But... You are lupical, lupical doesn't need to be alone"

"I'm fine on my own, but if you really want to, I think you won't leave me alone"

Then he hugged you

"I not fail you"

After a while, the painkillers were done and you two had to bid your farewells, it was safer that Razor stayed with his pack in Wolvendom till the full moon is gone

"Master?"

"what?"

"do you perhaps like that werewolf?"

"Wha- of course not! Not in that way!"

"I didn't say that you liked him that way"

"When we arrive home, I'll give you a very cold bath"

The feline just closed his eyes, knowing that he'll suffer during that bath, he probably would prefer another place to 'clean' himself

-------

If you want to request I probably recommend you to wait a little, I'm planning on remaking the request list

Why Razor is a werewolf? Because why not? He's wolf boy, if he has to be a supernatural creature, it's 100% that he's a werewolf, I bet y'all think the same (if not, give me the clown wig please)

Wishing everyone luck on Venti's Rerun, I Will totally pull because I didn't get him cause someone came home, not pointing fingers, but it was a broke-ass astrologist (I latter find out how pity works and you know the rest), if he doesn't, Childe probably will... (I'm with 50/50, knowing my luck, I probably get c1 of any other 5* with the exception of Mona (she's C1)

I'm going to upload more things, probably soon but who knows?

[fayesdiary]

Celica for the ask game!

YEESSS CELICA MY QUEEN Spoilers, this breakdown is going to be me endlessly praising her. How I feel about this character I love her. A lot.

Perfect design and VA (even her original Gaiden outfit wasn’t too shabby either and Brave Celica proves it) and brings a lot of interesting stuff to discuss about. I love her personality, how she is both too serious and focused on her task but when she’s relaxed she’s a complete dork and pretty mischevious too! (Her paying Saber with the Golden Dagger and then immediately taking it back, facing a Necrodragon despite being told not to just for the heck of it and treasure, and let’s not forget the pirate booty). Makes you wonder how different she would be if she wasn’t a princess. But also, the best thing about her is how compassionate she is, and it’s not just empty talk. The entirety of the better first half of her story is her going out of her way to help people in need (first Valbar and the gang, then making a huge detour through the desert just to help Catria and Palla rescue Est), even when she has to go find Mila, simply because it’s the right thing to do. And it’s what makes almost everyone you meet in her route want to join her, despite her never expecting anything in return. She’s also really flawed. She can’t handle stress really well and feels like she has to bear everything on her shoulders, both of which come back to bite her hard in Act 4 and 5. It makes me sad there’s a good chunk of people who don’t like Celica, but at the same time... I can’t really blame them.

Not because of something wrong with her as a character, but because I swear, the game pulls all the stops to get you to hate her. She gets the worst maps of the game (desert followed by poisonous swamp? Seriously?), the plot doesn’t let her accomplish anything of value beyond opening a few roadblocks for Alm despite her giving everything she’s got, and even in the end she gets pushed to the sideline by Alm and that’s just sad. She’s trying her best okay it’s not her fault Echoes hates women Also a small addition, Fallen Celica is a great alt, if only because she sparked the idea of witches being able to actually recover compared to popular belief. I made a stupidly long post infodumping my research about it if you’re interested All the people I ship romantically with this character For canon, Alm. Though I’ll be honest, while I find them cute together, it just didn’t light that spark to make it into OTP territory to me. But I think it’s because I ship her with Faye for everything else. Hard. I should not like them as a couple as much as I do but I’m glad I do because it makes me feel way too warm and fuzzy Mae/Celica is another crack pairing I also like! My non-romantic OTP for this character I don’t know Celica and Saber have going on, but I dig it. Other cool dynamics are her with Mae and Boey. Sonya too, I wish they had a support together! (also this one just randomly came to me as I’m writing this, but I want to see her and Delthea interact, I feel it would be pretty cute and/or funny) My unpopular opinion about this character Boy, where do I even begin? I pretty much disagree with all of the common criticisms towards her. Like her being an hypocrite for calling out Alm for storming Rigel, because one thing is fighting bandits, another is go to war with the continent’s military superpower. Or that “she’s dumb and naive” for trusting Jedah, because she doesn’t.

(Doesn’t help that the game makes the Duma Faithful look as evil and inhuman as possible just to make her look like an idiot)

Hell, I’ve even seen people criticizing her for not telling the others about Jedah calling it bad writing and I’m like... you keep claiming you want a flawed protagonist and then shit on them whenever they make a mistake? In general, while you can dunk on her side of the story and I’ll agree for the most part (especially when talking about the trainwreck that is the second half), I think she’s a wonderful character and I will not tolerate any unjust slander towards her Like, Echoes gives her enough crap already, give her a break. One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon That she had way more agency, that she actually succeded at least partially in her mission, and that she was an actual equal to Alm plotwise. Like, even in the small things, why can Alm wield the Falchion but Celica can’t? There’s literally no excuse for why she can’t wield it! I want my queen smashing Duma’s head with a dragon fang