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scribeofmorpheus · 4 years

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As Fate Would Have It (part 21)

Paring: WinterSoldier!Bucky x Spy!Reader

Catch Up here | Masterlist | AO3

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Warnings: Themes of mental illness, violence... eh, some other stuff.

Note: tripple post! | Vocabulary: Snezhinka is russian for ‘Snowflake’ and Vot der'mo roughly translates to ‘Shit’. Also, Voroshilov is a tank named after a military general.

Your white tactical gear was washed out by the snowy terrain. Alexei held two unconscious guards under his shoulders by the necks. He dropped them with a loud thud.

You checked your guns clips and silencer twice before kneeling next to the facility’s baulky doors. Your knife working to remove a panel to reveal intricate wiring. You wanted to square away any doubts before charging headfirst into trouble. Unlike the last time you did something risky, you didn’t want there to be any doubt.

“Alexei,” you said, stripping wires. “I need to know something.”

Alexei sighed, his big chest deflating more than you thought possible. He knew what was coming. It was obvious. “You need to know what, Snezhinka?”

“When I was a spider—” your saliva went dry. “When I was a Blackwidow…I did things.”

Alexei huffed, warm breath mixing with the crisp air. He sniffled, “We’ve all done things.”

The wires sparked and your fingers gained a burn mark, “I know. But I did something and I think I’m responsible for…your eye. And I think you’ve known this since before we met.”

The door opened and you stood to face Alexei. Guards on the other end of the corridor raised their weapons. You fired two precise shots. The silencer as quiet as a mouse. The guards dropped to the floor not as quietly.

“I gave them the research. For their super soldier project. Kathy said—”

“She wasn’t delusional,” Alexei said in confirmation. “It is as you think. The boy she spoke of was me.”

You narrowed your eyes to focus on his facial twitches, “And you don’t blame me? I gave them what they needed to experiment on you. I’m resp—”

“You’re not responsible,” he moved into the warmth of the facility, dragging the guards that were at his feet with him. “We are products of our makers. But that does not mean that is all we can ever be. You made choices. Those choices affected my choices. And now they will affect someone else’s. We are all dominoes falling blindly.”

“Why did you lie?” You worked on the inner-door, trying to keep a poker face.

“Because I know you,” Alexi began setting the C4 charges. “If I told you the truth, you’d blame yourself.” He took a long and deep inhale. “Truth is, I requested to be your recruiter. I wanted to meet the woman who…” His jaw worked over and he exhaled. “You were not what I expected. I realised, in that bar in Moldova, that we are all lost children looking for direction.”

The door began cranking open, slower than the first one.

“How do you not hate me?” You were confounded.

Alexei shrugged, “This Voroshilov you are risking your life to save, he has done terrible things…unspeakable things, no?”

You hesitated to answer and Alexei took that to mean you didn’t have the heart to.

“But you still want to save him?” Alexei cocked his head to the side. You nodded. He smiled, “It’s the same for me. You are my partner. I go where you go, Snezhinka. ”

Except you can’t go where I go , you thought. You turned to look at your ageless face reflected in a reflective surface.

The door ground to a halt once it opened fully. Your fingers reached for anything to fumble with. In that moment you felt an ache for the photograph Bucky—the Winter Soldier—had taken from you in Paris. You wanted to look at Sal’s young face. At Steve’s big, goofy grin and terrible posture. At Annie’s flirtatious wink and Hal’s perpetual scowl. At you and Bucky immortalised in a simpler time.

You let out a breath and were surprised to hear the shudder in your voice. “Promise me something, big guy.” You held your chin high to look over Alexei’s face one more time. To memorise every edge and curve, dip and line, spot and wrinkle. “If I don’t make it to the extraction point—”

“Don’t speak nonsense!” Alexei frowned.

You patted his chest affectionately, like a big sister reassuring her younger brother there were no spiders under his bed anymore.

“If I don’t make it…Don’t come back for me.” You waited to see if he’d argue against your order.

Alexei’s eyes fogged over as he let his chin fall, “The plan is to get the two of you somewhere secure until you can knock his bell straight.”

You chuckled at his improper use of the phrase, “Swear to me, Alexei. Swear you will find another partner. Swear to me that you will give them an annoyingly on-the-nose nickname and buy them two bottles of vodka on the first day.” You moved your hand from his chest to his cheek, patting it twice. “Swear to me you will shave more often.”

He laughed weakly, “I won’t have to. You’ll be there to set my ass straight. Now, let’s go save your boyfriend, da?”

You stepped away from the giant Russian, “No, Alexei. I’m going in alone this time. You’ve set the charges. I can handle the rest. Just hand me the detonator. Wait by the snowmobiles. If I don’t make it out, you’ll know.”

He started swearing in the mother tongue.

You yanked his jacket and shouted, “It’s best it stays this way!”

Alexei grumbled, but he could see the conviction in your eyes. He couldn’t fight against you this time. He conceded and handed you the detonator. Then he unloaded his clip and handed it to you.

“Just in case.” He pulled the hammer and the bullet in the chamber popped out. He caught it and took your much smaller hand in his. Placing the bullet on your palm as if it were a treasure. “I don’t own anything except this jacket and it’s too big for you, will only slow you down.” He feigned a laugh. “There is a saying where I come from, ‘there is no first and the is no last bullet.’” He scratched his eyebrow with his free hand. “No, that’s—Nevermind that. I’m trying to say this isn’t goodbye.”

You balled your fist around the bullet. “I’ll keep this safe.”

“Keep it until you don’t need to anymore, da?”

You nodded and walked into the elevator. As you pushed the button for basement, Alexei shouted: “Carter!”

“What?” Your heart started racing as the doors of the heavy elevator started retracting.

“In the bar, you asked me who we were. I never met them all. But I know who signed our checks—” Alexei had to squat and tilt his head so you could see his face is the small crack between the doors. “Her name is Carter.”

“Carter,” you whispered. You’d seen that name at the museum. It had been attached to an image of a beautiful woman’s newspaper cut-out on Steve’s compass flashed in your mind. “Oh…That Carter.”

The doors closed. The elevator started heading down. You had the strangest sense of Déjà vu. And then you remembered the heist to steal the serum from the military compound.

“Right,” you checked and rechecked your gun again. The doors opened to show several tactically clad men pointing submachine guns at the elevators entrance. “Showtime.”

The two gunshot wounds in your back stung, but not nearly as hot as the flamethrower burn on your arm. You had barricaded the door into the cryo-lab. The banging of soldiers going unheard due to the rapid pulse of your heart.

Bucky was in one of these pods, you could feel it. Home wasn’t a hopeless dream anymore. It was becoming real—tangible.

You felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. Granted the situation wasn’t ideal, but you didn’t fucking care anymore. Hope was hope.

Your feet dragged slower than your body wanted to move, the blood loss made your stomach swirl. It was like being seasick on land.

A flutter of air left your mouth. Your heart skipped what felt like a hundred beats. Everything went quiet and for a moment you wondered if you were actually alive or if all this was some elaborate lie. Then your heart knocked against your chest harder than it had in a long time and you knew it was real.

There he was, cold and unmoving and trapped behind glass, but alive. You laughed, hobbling to get to the cryo-pods.

You disengaged the cryo sequence and waited. When the cold air turned to moisture on the chamber’s glass, Bucky screamed awake. Startled, you took two steps back.

“Gaaahhh,” Bucky fell out of the chamber. You tried to break his fall but you were too weak. You fell together. He shuddered over you, scrambling for purchase.

“Bucky,” You reached out to him and he recoiled. His mind as in a state of confusion and panic. This wasn’t the soft Bucky you’ resurrected in the safe house in Paris and it wasn’t the trained killer you’d fought bloody. This was the man in-between. Half broken and half patchwork. “Hey, Bucky listen to me! We don’t have much time, I have to get us out of here.”

“N—no!” He swung his arms like he was fighting ghosts. “Whe—where…Hhnnnggg!” He braced his head.

You held out your hand, “Come with me and I’ll explain everything.”

His head craned up and then down, fingers holding onto his ears till they turned red. “Arrrghhh! Don’t. Make. Me…Kill them…arggghh!”

You rushed to his side and forced him to look at you, “Soldier! I need you to snap out of this. There’s men coming for us on the other side of that door.” You yanked him hard, ignoring the fact that his breathing was wild and erratic. “I don’t care which version of you I’m dealing with, I just need you to get your shit in order long enough for us to get out of here!”

He removed his fingers from his ears and reached out to trace the outline of your jaw, “S—safe…harbour.”

You gasped, choking on air. You looked into his thunderous eyes, too frantic to tell which version of him had said those words.

Hope was blooming brighter and you whispered like a prayer, “Bucky?”

He dropped to his knees and groaned. “Make it stop!”

“I will. I promise baby, I promise I will. But first,” You slinked your smaller frame under his shoulder and heaved. You held back a whimper as you felt blood rush out of your back. “Get up, baby.”

Bucky steeled his legs, his weight not as heavy on your frame. He eyed you in strangely, with a glint of disconnect. The looked was wiped away by another grunt of pain. His eyes squeezed shut as you directed him towards the door that led to the secondary elevator.

You pressed the call button but nothing happened. “No, no, no.” You slammed the button three times and kicked it once for good measure.

“Lockdown,” Bucky answered. His voice cold one moment then shivering when he stammered: “H—how do I know that? What is happening to me?”

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully. “But we can’t go back the way I came.” You hitched him higher onto your shoulder to take a second to stretch. “You must know another way.”

“I—I don’t…”

“Think!” You snapped at him.

“I don’t know!” He shouted back. Louder than you’d ever heard him shout before. Your instinct told you to move away from him, your heart was tired of this game of ‘is he or isn’t he the man you love?’

His eyes went large, as if he wanted to apologise and then he said: “Below. There’s an abandoned storage facility.”

You were about to question how he knew that when the door you’d barricaded indented, “How do we access it?”

“Maintenance access,” he nudged towards a grate with a turn wheel.

You set him down and pried it open.

The lower level smelled of damp and what could only be wet rat. Bucky had quieted down now. You moved slower due to the poor lighting from the flare.

Bucky suddenly flinched and you set him down.

“Hold on, I’’ll try and find the exit hatch,” you tucked a loose strand of long, sweaty hair behind his ear. “All the years I dreamed of you, you never had long hair. Now I’ll probably only ever dream about you with long hair.”

Bucky’s eye twitched, a slight discomfort from how intimate you were being. You were hurt by his reaction. You swallowed and apologised then turned to look for the door hatch he’d told you about.

“Do you know what this place is?” You asked as you scanned the room.

He replied clearly, “Old cryo storage.”

“Any others like you down here?” You jigged something you thought was a lever. It budged and let out a putrid gas. You quickly sealed it back up as you gaged.

“We don’t keep them here.”

“We?” You froze. The flare slipped from your fingers. You knew. Somehow, the entire time, you knew it had been too easy.

You pressed your lips tightly, sniffling back disappointment; heartbreak. “You’re not him, are you?”

There was no reply. You back was tingling from exposure. Self-preservation dictated you look your enemy in the eye. Defeat killed any last morsel of fight in you.

You pulled the detonator out from your pocket, “This was a trap.” It wasn’t a question, but he answered anyway.

“Da.”

You turned around slowly to face him. One last question left to ask. “Do you know me?” Tears splattered on the metal floor.

The Winter Soldier’s eyes went small and then impartial, a thought working its way in his brain. He reached for something that you couldn’t see. It looked like the edge of a paper. When his hand dropped back to his side, his head was lifted higher. “No.”

“Then…” you licked your lips. “If I can’t save you, we’ll just have to burn together.”

You pressed the detonator. The sound of explosions going off above you. Dust shaking from old pipes. Water burst out of the stone wall, a blown pipe undoubtedly. Then parts of the ceiling began to cave in. A metal beam came crashing down above your head. A flicker of emotion ghosted Bucky’s face and he lunged to pull you back.

The two of you collided on the floor. You head hitting it hard. Fake stars blotted out your vision. And then you saw them again. Pink petals raining down in the dark. The smell of peach blossoms in the air.

Your muscles were numb. Like you’d left them under a running tap in the middle of winter. Your jaw felt frozen shut, pent up energy screaming for release against unresponsive muscles.

“Jesus Christ,” a man said in disbelief. “She hasn’t aged a day.”

“Neither have we,” a darker voice said, gruff and afraid.

“How long has she been on ice?” The sound of machines filled the room. When there was no answer to the man’s question, he asked again, “How long, Buck?”

The other man’s voice went softer, “Almost forty years.”

Bucky? You wondered. Who’s Bucky?

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu #marvel #black widow #the winter soldier

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widgenstain · 4 years

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Give me 120-130 please !

Ahahaha, the ones with the rant potential! *mwah mwah mwah*

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Hmmm, gonna go with fruits!

121: Something you want to do right now:

Sleep for three weeks, get my own shit sorted out without external factors constantly intercepting, swim in this (I know it’s probably a fountain but lets pretend it’s a pool) lounge in the little tempietto and have Andrew Scott bring me iced tea in swim shorts (the swim shorts are optional).

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

GAAAHHH, cannot decide. Both are so beautiful and devastating at the same time!

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely sour, I LOOOOVE pickled food!

124: Bright or dim lights?

Dim lights, I thrive in twilight xD

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

Not really. I mean, I’d love for some of them to exist, but I highly doubt that they do.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

Oof, here we go: The thing that has bothered me from the beginning is how easily misinformation spreads on this website. One dumb claim reblogged by a big blog and it’s not containable anymore, no way to reach people believing the misinformation, no matter how many corrections you add. Never mind that the corrections often are dubitable as well, and that this blue hellsite is a sea of gullible people who will.not.click on links and check if what they’re reading has any foundation in reality. And/or unfortunately very often people lack the scientific literacy to understand the sources of their arguments or do not really know how to properly source to begin with. In a related vein, this site’s format does not allow discussion (which big, modern sm does, tbf?) and it’s exacerbated by what I call “tumblr discourse” (don’t think it originated here and it’s certainly happening everywhere now, but I’ve seen this form of rhetoric on here first). It basically is not allowing nuance in discussions and opinions. If you don’t agree with me you’re wrong on everything, you’re a nazi and a monster, you must die. If you agree with me you’re a perfect angel without fault and a heart pure as snow. This is dumb yet harmless in fandom fights, but if it spreads to more serious issues it’s frustrating at best and fucking terrifying at worst. There’s a culture on this site that encourages seeing things in black and white, with no in-between. But that’s not how the world works; it’s big and complicated, everything is, and most issues cannot be summed up with easily chant-able slogans or quaint hashtags. And those issues cannot be solved by reblogging half-truths or shouting at people who only agree with you on 15 instead of 20 points. This should be obvious to people who approach things with even the littlest bit of critical thought, but even that is too much to ask sometimes and yeah, I deeply deeply hate it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

That big rant out of the way, there are many reasons why I’m still on this website: it truly is one of the last sm where you don’t feel the pressure of creating content and being constantly judged. If you want to sit here and like pretty pics of hot actors, you can do that, same thing with pics of the other, more random stuff. If you want to make dumb jokes all day, you can do that, if you want to squee over superheroes you can do that, and if you want to indulge yourself in your tentacle sailor porn au daydreams, you’ll probably have to block a few asshats but you totally can do that too. No need to prove yourself with your looks or your wit or talents, you can be your own kind of weird little shrimp and have fun being it. And you most likely will find like-minded people. I did and some of them have become my best friends, who I regularly see and/or talk to, who live three streets away from me but are also spread across the globe and have given me a better, broader understanding of the world.

128: What do you think about the least?

Uhmmm, pretty much everything? I mean, I think about things way too much, but there’s SO MUCH I don’t even touch, so I don’t really get the question.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

Heh, I want to be cremated and my ashes should be spread at some nice and pretty shore, so having a tombstone doesn’t really make too much sense? Besides I’ll be dead, so what do I care? Then again... if they named a few streets after me that would be lovely. Streets, squares, cities with a big old statue of me in the middle... you know, the simple things xD

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

Dear LORD that’s a long line!! The fascist orange is probably ahead, oh it would feel so good to put my whole weight behind a punch and just smash that gross anus mouth right into his spine! But there are many many more politicians, public figures, bosses and dudes who come by to look at my flatshare who just deserve to be hit really really hard in the face!

#asks #gerec

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==> (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there. Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot. >:|

Oh SHIT wait. That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever??? That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here. D:

Rose, puns. Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls? Huh. Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait. Numerological significance? Are we actually learning what 413 means? Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead? I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch. So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh. She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore. A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of. As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches. Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute. Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet. What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something. Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics. Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain? Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose? Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation?? Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess??? I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it. I’ll understand it in later pages. I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section. Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance. Oh shit. Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering? Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something??? Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh. Is this really going to work? As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale? It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far. I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out? Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool. Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it. That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff. Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff. This is going to be a bit interesting. And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot. Yay Jade! --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone. AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her??? That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually. Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it. That’s nonbinary-awesome! And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow. Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her. That, or, like... Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful. Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst. Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan. Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others. That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp. Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp. Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS. I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD. I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe. Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat. Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting. Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab. He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election??? Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous! Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too. :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far? Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much. Is it just because it has the word wife in it. Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff. Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff. Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too. :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh. What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk? Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor. And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her?????? D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting. I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually. Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in? (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it. And here she is or whatever. :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait. Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff? What the fuck is going on. It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter. I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now? Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here? I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator. Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story. With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever. Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story. Or something. Hmm.

Also, huh. Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy. A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself. Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you? Because you’ll be everyone? Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister. Just partially. Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah. So the candy part IS written. I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here. Pretty awesome. I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous. Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you. That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or? Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit. Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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the1rei · 6 years

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Amedot Week, Day 2

Prompt: First Kiss

"Gaaahhh!" Peridot cried out, her legs and arms flailing angrily. She opened her eyes to stare at the starry sky above while the hillside grass cradled her body. Not her head though and Peridot's pillow looked down at her sleepily.

"Come on Peridot I'm trying to sleep here,'" Amethyst groaned stretching her arms out to yawn then folded them back behind her head. "I thought you wanted to sleep too."

"I wanted to TRY sleeping, but it's impossible," Peridot cried out in protest gnashing her teeth angrily at the sky as if it's gentle starry tapestry was to blame for her inability to sleep. "I understand the principle of energy conversion and recovery that the organic life on the planet operates by that makes sleep necessary, but I still don't understand how you do it." Peridot turned over to face Amethyst who was considering Peridot sleepily. The small green gem bitterly anticipated the rage she would display if Amethyst went back to sleep. "Rather than conserve energy I feel like I'm expending a great deal more of it than I normally would just standing inertly."

"You mean what you were doing before?" Amethyst asked after a paused her eyes rolling up as if trying to actively go up into her brain and search for the word. Eventually, she shook her head probably giving up on finding the meaning of the word, "Ya, that's not sleeping."

"So you told me," Peridot growled through clenched teeth crossing her arms over her chest. After another moment of silence, Peridot shot up frowning and crossed her legs, matching them to her arms. "That's it I've determined that sleeping is a waste of time, just like eating." Peridot nodded to herself smiling at last in self-satisfied personal consensus.

"Hay you liked the pudding." Amethyst countered and sat up, scooting over to sit next to Peridot. Amethyst stared over at Peridot, leaning down on her one raised knee while her other leg stuck out under one of Peridot's knees.

"Pudding's texture is superior to all other foods," Peridot noted instructively pointing a finger up into the air as she nodded, more to herself than Amethyst. "It has far more in common with liquids, which as I pointed out in our last exercise, are far more appealing."

Amethyst let out one of her shrieking laughs, "You can barely drink Peri, it can't be too hot, or cold, or have bubbles. The bubbles are the best part." Amethyst excitedly licked her lips looking into the distant sky as if hoping it would rain down a bottle of pop for her.

"That's just objectively wrong," Peridot folded her arms over her chest again and stuck her nose in the air, a sign she would brooking no argument.

"Oh ya?" Amethyst asked; Peridot was practically able to hear her grin. When she turned back to solidify her point Amethyst's fingers were there to counter with a flick to Peridot's slightly upturned nose.

Peridot growled in rage and lunged at Amethyst who just let out another shrieking laugh as they tumbled down the hillside Peridot flailing ineffectually at Amethyst who securely pinned the smaller gem under her bulk at the bottom of the hill. Peridot kicked and cried out for Amethyst to let her go. "Mmm I don't know, maybe you need a wet willy to calm you down first."

Peridot squeaked at the threat, and her hands shot up to cover her ears, the flailing ceasing at once. Peridot just whimpered remembering the uncomfortably slimy feeling of Amethyst's finger in her ear. "Ha! Just kidding," Amethyst barked a laugh and got up off of Peridot. With only a little grumbling from Peridot, the two of them settling back down at the bottom of the hill in the same sitting position they had been in at the top.

A silence passes between them as Peridot laced her fingers together and twiddled her thumbs for a moment. "So have you done everything that humans do?"

"Yep pretty much," Amethyst said proudly, but her features slumped for a second, and she looked away. "Well not as much as Rose." Amethyst dropped the name that had once been only spoken in ghost stories meant to scare young kindergarteners into performing their tasks perfectly less Rose Quartz come to take them away from their beloved diamond. Peridot still had trouble thinking of Rose as the gem that had once been Amethyst's favorite person in the world. Amethyst's smile returned marking the passing of the momentary morning, "But ya, pretty much everything."

"So... have you... kissed someone before." Peridot blushed wildly as she forced out the sentence. It was the real question she had been longing to ask Amethyst since she had watched all the way through Camp Pining Hearts. The show constantly failed to recognize the strongest pairs among the campers, but the act of kissing seemed to have a considerable meaning Peridot just couldn't quite fathom.

Amethyst blushed as well, she glanced away from Peridot, rubbing the back of her head for a second before nodding and looking back confidently crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Ya, of course I have," Amethyst scoffed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as if the very idea of the question was silly.

"Would you... kiss me?" Peridot's blush grew, and she jumped at the strange feeling that seemed to run up and down her body as she stared at Amethyst in anticipation of her answer. Peridot though she should be more worried about the strange feeling, but she had been so scared to ask the stupidly simple question that she didn't dare back out now.

Amethyst sat frozen for several seconds her wide eyes staring into Peridot's and past them at the same time. Amethyst seemed to snap out of her trance with a jolt when Peridot tentatively reached out and touched her hand. "Sure!" Amethyst nearly shouted causing them both to jump. Amethyst looked surprised at her agreement, but Peridot hardly noticed, excitement rising in her like all the liquid she had drunk was coming to a boil in her stomach.

Amethyst coughed into her fist and seemed to fall back into her casual, relaxed personality. "I mean, sure Peri, if you want me to be your first?" Amethyst smiled and wiggled her eyebrows a faint blush touching her cheeks.

"Of course!" Peridot practically cheered, before coughing into her fist as well and adjusting her visor. "I mean of course I would want an experienced partner to guide me through my first experience. I'm sure I'll become an expert in no time with your help."

Amethyst stared wide at Peridot for a second; then she shook with laughter. Eventually, she couldn't restrain herself and started giggling wildly. "What?" Peridot huffed at Amethyst, "What did I say that was so amusing?"

"Nothing Peri," Amethyst shook her head wiping away a tear then, smiling sweetly at Peridot, leaned in. Peridot's first thought was to retreat from the advance, but remembering this was how the act was performed closed her eyes and leaned forward as well.

Their faces smacked awkwardly, but not painfully, together, their noses bumped and their teeth clacked softly. But there was also an explosion of feelings, like all the strange sensations that Peridot had felt since she asked Amethyst to kiss her, and a few others that had come over her while around Amethyst even before that, boiled over in the most wonderful cascade Peridot had ever felt. She felt so close to Amethyst she had to open her eyes just to be sure they hadn't fused.

Then just like an explosion, it was over all too soon. Amethyst pulled back and despite Peridot thoughtlessly leaning forward to maintain the kiss, they separated. "Mmm, that was pretty good Peri, the best kiss I've ever had." Amethyst chuckled, Peridot wasn't sure when they had wrapped their arms around each other or fallen onto their sides on the ground, nor did she care enough to give it any thought.

"H-how many times have you kissed someone?" Peridot asked as they released one another and rolled onto their backs.

Amethyst stared thoughtfully up at the stars for a moment, then looked over and smiled. "Including you, once."

#amedotweek #amedot #steven universe #amethyst #peridot

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theambivertkid · 6 years

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Katventures: Cebu City (Simala+ Sirao Garden)

Hey guys!! I got a new blog post for you!

So last April 11, my friends and I decided to go to Cebu solely for the purpose of going to Simala to thank Mama Mary for her guidance during our board exam. We also decided to insert “ the sirao garden” to our itinerary.

For our cebu trip, we stayed there for 3D&2N at LGRC (Living The Gospel Renewal Center), its basically a dormitory ran by the sisters, so you already now its safe plus its cheap (Php 300.00/night) and here’s the catch, THEY SERVE FREE BREAKFAST!!! They also have airconditioned and non airconditioned rooms. Also this dorm is near Cebu I.T. Park. Here is the dorm’s address if ever you wanna check it out.

BTW, If you’ve read my post from before, you already know that this would be my second time going there because of our Manuf tour. This time’s a little bit different. We’re commuting. The best time to go to Simala would be in the morning to avoid lots of people and so you can attend the mass at 12 noon.

On the day of April 12, the sun is out and it so hot, literally and it feels like we’re in an oven. This makes commuting even harder and tbh it is such a hassle but its really cheap especially if your on a tight budget, like us who are still jobless hahahah can’t afford to book on a travel agency, so we have no choice but to endure the heat.

How to go to simala:

From the City

go to south bus terminal

ride ceres bus going to simala-Php 85.00 (let the driver know to drop you off at the entrance going to simala, there are a lot of tricycle and habalhabal waiting there)

tricycle/habalhabal- Php 20.00

Note: Not allowed-Shorts, skinny jeans, leggings, off-shoulders, sleeveless (but just in case you were not aware about this rule, do not worry because outside Simala you can find a “sarong” for rent which only costs Php 20.00, of course you have to return it to them after you use it)

*me and my awkward hand hahahaha*

Going back to the city

* ride tricycle/habalhabal-Php 20.00 (ask them to drop you off at the van station going to the city)

* van- Php 100.00

Next on our itinerary is “The Sirao Garden”! So if you want to get away from the city life and all those noisy streets aka the traffic, I recommend you to go to sirao garden since its away from the city and there are alot of resto’s on the way there and you get to see cebu from up there plus the cold breeze *gaaahhh* so relaxing!

How to go to sirao:

Its not a hassle going to sirao bcos alot of habalhabal driver are around the city, you can hear them say “maam/sir sirao, temple of leah, etc” you can actually ride there, but my friend told me that its much cheaper if you’re gonna ride near JY plaza

* Habalhabal- Php 300.00 back and forth + they’re willing to wait for you.

* Entrance fee to Sirao Garden- Php 50.00

note: If you’re planning to go to sirao you can first visit the temple of leah (tell your driver first) since it will be the first one you’ll be seeing then sirao but along the way there are alot of places you can visit.

So I will end my blog post here. I hope you enjoyed it and stay tune for my upcoming adventures and new blog posts. Till next time guys!

xoxo kat

#travel #photographs

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jhameia · 7 years

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Strange Magic Week 2017: “Bright Lights” (Space Alien AU)

Gaaahhh this one was hard!! I am not a fan of writing human AUs... so, I kept Bog as a goblin, and made Marianne and the fairies alien-esque fairies!

It was a rare day that Thang did not botch up messages. "Sire! Falling stars have landed on the field outside the Forest!" Thang yelled as he breathlessly ran into the throne room.

The Bog King wanted to count to ten. "What?"

He had been watching the skies, of course, through his skylight. He had seen the falling stars streak across the sky, and had been contemplating the sight when his reverie was intruded upon with yet another nonsense message from Thang. He really ought to relieve Thang of message delivery, but there were so few other things he could do around the castle.

"We saw it!" Stuff put in, her fins twitching with nervous energy. "Me and Thang and Brutus and Lox and--"

"Enough. Start from the top."

"We were out by the primroses, watching the sky. Really nice view of the sky! Then one of the stars started getting really big, and then there was a kind of hot flash of light, and then there it was!"

A hot flash of light. Bog supposed that he hadn't seen it because the castle was too deep in the forest. He rose from his throne. "What else? Who is keeping watch on it?"

"The mushrooms said they'd keep an eye on it, and we've got a team of big guys by the border," Stuff reported.

Bless Stuff. Bog snatched up his scepter.

"Tell my mother I shan't be back for supper," he ordered Thang, before he flew off.

He heard the Sugar Plum Fairy before he saw her. Or rather, he felt her, before hearing her. Her presence was palpable, the light she emitted shooting rays between the trees as she herself dashed through the woods.

"Bog! Did you hear? Are you going--?"

"Yes."

They would not be the only denizens of the Forests on their way. Bog saw the spiders' representative, even the bee swarms sent a scouting party. They fell in behind the Bog King, as if silently agreeing that they would fly under their king's aegis, or, probably more likely, that if there was going to be trouble, he was their best shield.

"What do you think it is?" Bog asked Sugar Plum as they approached the primrose border. He was not fond of her supercilious one-with-the-universe attitude, but he had to grudgingly admit that there were things beyond his ken that she grasped.

"A return home," she crooned.

"What?!"

He landed on a rock just past the primrose border. The sight was impossible: gigantic smooth gray--rocks? boulders? He knew, theoretically, that it was a structure which housed people, like his castle, though how he arrived at that conclusion he wasn't sure. But they loomed like the largest boulders on the mountainside edging the other side of the Forest.

Lights blinked in straight lines down the sides of the boulders. Then, swirls of colour danced across their surfaces in familiar sigil patterns.

It couldn't be...

First one, then the others, hissed, as if releasing a breath held in for too long. The sigils shone brighter, and one burned itself at a point close to the ground. The sigil signalling a door.

Could it--?

The Bog King steadied himself, although internally his world rocked on its heels as he comprehended what the Sugar Plum Fairy had said. She was descended of a people who had, in legend, flown to the skies in large ships, to find new worlds and escape the bitter wars that had ravaged this one.

Is it them?

The outline of a door drew itself on the side of one boulder, and slowly, it opened outwards, and lowered to the ground. In the light, Bog could see silhouettes, even as he squinted. They looked nothing like Sugar Plum, though. For one thing, they had legs.

One of the creatures walked out, taking tentative strides towards him. He himself stepped off his perch, and walked slowly towards it, not wanting to startle it. Behind him, he could hear the others whispering for him to be careful.

The lights dimmed a little, and he could see it now, more clearly, in the moonlight.

She--he felt it was a she--was not as tall as him, in fact was a full head shorter, maybe not even that. Her eyes were large and wide set, and she had fuzz on top of her head, resting on long ears. She didn't have any natural armour, and her skin looked soft and exposed. But she also wore what looked like a dress made of flower petals, like what his mother might wear.

Most striking were the butterfly wings behind her, gleaming purple in the moonlight.

Bog turned to the Sugar Plum Fairy, who had hung back, her eyes wide in shock. Whatever she had expected, it certainly hadn't been this. None of her people looked like this, like oversized butterflies.

The next shocker came in the form of tiny beings that flitted around the butterfly creature's head. Now those had a more familliar form: they looked like tiny versions of Sugar Plum's people, like the Plumettes she would conjure to assist her, even. They saw her behind him, and made small noises of cheer and joy as they shot off to greet her.

The butterfly creature blinked her eyes, surprised. She cleared her throat, and spoke something.

Bog couldn't understand. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't catch that."

She said something else.

They traded confused statements for a moment, before he thought of the sigils on the boulders, and other ways that his subjects communicated. With his free hand, he made a sign.

"Welcome."

She stared at the sign in his hand, then smiiled brightly as she signed back. "Greetings."

A murmur rose from behind him, and behind her too, as they realized that though their spoken languages had drifted so far apart in the millennia apart, the signs they used, mimicking ancient sigils with their hands, remained similar.

"Return?"

Her smile grew wider. "Yes."

He turned to the crowd behind him, everyone caught between anxiety and enthrallment at the sight.

"Welcome home."

Perhaps that hadn't been the wisest course of action, but he was king, and kings sometimes had to make decisions that balanced their people's safety and maintained some grace in the face of strangers.

For her part, she pressed her hands to her mouth, overwhelmed. Her eyes grew liquid, like she was about to tear up.

"Thank you," she signed. Then pressed a hand to her chest, and said in a clear voice, "Marianne."

He mimicked her gesture. "Bog King."

Now her smile was blinding. She looked so happy, turning to her people behind her and shouting something that made them come forward, albeit less confidently than she had. There was a brown-skinned creature without wings, no taller than Stuff, nervously trailing behind a creature that resembled Marianne, except she had yellow hair and orange wings.

Sugar Plum had drifted closer, eyebrows raised at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just surprised at how generous you are, Your Majesty."

He ignored the remark. "So they are your people?"

"After a fashion, yes. They feel similar... but perhaps contact with other worlds have changed them irrevocably."

"Do you think they're here for a visit, or moving back permanently?"

"Hard to say. We can ask them."

Bog tried to think of how these creatures might fit into the local ecosystem. But it was too much thinking for such an overwhelming moment. He shrugged internally, and went back to greeting and introducing himself to the strangers. They could figure it out later.

#strange magic #strange magic week 2017 #fanfic

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rnainframe · 7 years

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Your OCs are hot and I cannot bring myself to draw them even tamely yet. Also you seem neat and I kinda wanna interact with you, but I suck at making friends, so.

gaaahhh thank,,

i also suck at making friends i’m too scared of getting hurt to willingly do it much anymroe rip

#anonymous #answer

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the-fangirl-lorax · 7 years

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You are amazing as ever (not like that's gonna change but HOT DAMN VOCAL UNIT HAS ME SHOOK) HONG JISOO. JIHOON JIHOON THOUGH I ALSO THINK SWEATER PAWS JIHOON IS CUTE. GAAAHHH ALL OF THEM THO. Thank you I love you ^^

I'm so glad you like it haha I love you too.

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ladyoftheglaive-blog · 7 years

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Request writing readerxNoctis

Finally! Here's some writing! Say what!? About time I know. This was a request from a good friend here on Tumblr, and I know it took me forever to write, but it's done and I'm so sorry I took so long! I really do hope you enjoy it! Here you are @cho-cho-chocobros I really do hope it's all you were hoping for and I did your vision justice. ----------------------------------------------------- You were sitting on the edge of the couch laughing as you watched Prompto flail around trying to play a video game on the large tv. "Gaaahhh!" Prompto yelled as he scooted closer to the tv "they keep killing me!" "Well if you maybe would stop just standing in the open" Noctis said with a laugh "you're a sniper dude, go hide and snipe" You watched as Prompto failed as the character he was playing and switched to a new character "This ones gotta be better" Prompto mumbled as he focused intently on the game You smiled and stood up from the couch grabbing some plates with left over pieces of cake and taking them to the kitchen where Ignis and Gladio where standing and talking with a few drinks. "Did you enjoy your birthday?" You asked Ignis with a smile "Very much so" His face lit up and he nodded "it was very unexpected" You smiled as you rinsed off the dishes and put them away "I am looking forward to using my new coffee machine in the morning" "Great I'm glad!" You gave Ignis a hug and he gave you one back You walked back to the living room where Prompto was grinning from ear to ear playing the game and sitting way to close to the tv You sat down next to Noctis and cuddled up into his side as he wrapped his arm around you. You'd been dating the prince for a while now and he meant everything to you, and you to him. Ignis and Gladio joined everyone in the living room and immediately started giving Prompto hell trying to throw of his momentum. "Stop it!" Prompto yelled "I'm finally getting the hang of it" "But you're in the spawn room, you just died" Ignis said matter of a fact "Here, then you do better!" Prompto pouted as he shoved the controller into Iggys hand Ignis was rather good at the game, he flicked the buttons quickly and got kill after kill. Everyone sat in silence watching Ignis skillfully play the game, some sipping a drink here and there. Ignis won a few matches and then passed the controller over to Gladio with a smirk "It's not that hard, rather simple" he said pushing up his glasses Gladio just shook his head and leaned forward on the edge of his seat ready to kick some ass. Gladio is actually fairly decent at the game, he wins most of the matches and loses a couple, but always has an explanation as to why it wasn't his fault he lost. "Hey" Noctis looks at you with a smirk "your turn" You tense up, you hate being put on the spot. Also you've never played the game and wouldn't even know how and don't want to be embarrassed. "No I'm good" you shake your head "id rather watch you guys play" you sink even deeper into the couch cushions "Common do it" Prompto teasingly smacks your leg "No" you say shaking your head "No means no" Ignis jumps in "let her watch and maybe she'll want to play later" he finishes giving you a side look You appreciated Ignis jumping to your rescue and getting the boys off your back, you let out a sigh of relief The controller got handed off to Noctis and he played with such focused determination, he kept giving you looks to see if he was impressing you and you just "ooooed" and "awed" at your needy boyfriend with a happy smile The boys were super into the game, Gladio and Prompto were having a few drinks and starting to get tipsy and loud. Ignis sat in his chair his arms crossed and watched almost with a judgmental look at the tv, he was probably analyzing the gameplay and how they could play better and win. "You gotta play" Noctis put the controller in your hand, and you froze feeling your palms yet sweaty "I'm good" you mumbled trying to hand it back but Noctis threw his hands in the air with a smile "No! Common I bet you'll be better then all of us!" Prompto smiled at you with big begging eyes "I mean..." you started to say but Noctis pushed the start button on your controller and threw you into a match "Shit" you said as you panicked and started button mashing and running off the cliff and dying "Well oops... see I'm no good" you tried to laugh "Did you not read the tip on the loading page?" Noctis inquired raising an eyebrow "I totally was spacing out" you lied What no one knew was that you suffered severally from dyslexia. Reading was definitely not your thing and incredibly hard for you. You would rather fight a horde of daemons then try and read in front of everyone. "Again!" Prompto cheered with his drink "I suck" you snapped "Nah," Noctis said and put his hand on your leg "you've got this, just read the instructions on how to play the character" You shifted uncomfortably and tucked your leg under yourself Ignis was watching you intently now, he had his suspicions about you and your dyslexia. He was worried but intrigued to see the outcome. The game started again and you button mashed harder this time, gritting your teeth together "Read the instructions" Prompto said with a laugh "You're not even trying" Noctis teased you "let me show you" Noctis took the controller and opened the menu to the instructions and gave you the controller back "There you go" Noctis said with a smile You just stared at the screen, nothing made sense to you. You really did try and read it but you just couldn't and especially with the pressure you were panicking. "Good?" Gladio was watching you and seeing your chest rise and fall faster and faster, seeing you start to panic. "Fine" you mumble looking down at the controller "Uh?" Prompto started "is the text to small or something?" "Just nervous" you tried to smile "Why babe?" Noctis said poking your side "it's just us, we've done weirder things together" he smirked "Reading probably wasn't your best class was it?" Prompto teased "And I thought I was a slow reader" Noctis said with a laugh You were feeling your face get red and hot, you felt the tears beginning to brim on your waterline. You started getting flashbacks of school and all the harsh criticism and bullying you received for being dyslexic. Ignis noticed and gestured to Gladio then he gestured to you "You guys need to stop!" Gladio bursted out and stood up grabbing you and pulling you up from the couch You lost it, you started sobbing and wrapped your arms around Gladio and he walked out of the room and out onto the patio. Noctis bolted up and was going to run after you but Ignis stood in his way "Let me past" Noctis said through bared teeth "Leave her be" Ignis sighed and motioned Noctis back to the couch "What happened!?" Noctis yelled out feeling angry beyond belief. He never wanted to see you hurting or upset let alone let it be his fault. "Have you ever noticed anything with her and a possible disability before?" Ignis inquired pushing up his glasses and then crossing his arms "Uh what?" Noctis was taken aback "She struggles to read" Ignis said matter a fact Prompto was just sitting there with his mouth wide open, he felt so bad. "You're telling me she had issues reading? Like what dyslexia?" Noctis was starting to catch on and thinking back seeing the signs all along. "That's been my assumption" Ignis went on "the signs have been subtle but there" Promptos face got red and he put his head in his hands Noctis fisted his hands and looked around trying to think of how to fix his mistake Gladio was holding you out on the patio. The cold night air was helping you calm down and to cool you off. You pulled away from Gladio and angrily wiped the tears from your face. "I'm sorry" you said with a sniffle "Don't" he said sternly "I'll kick their teeth in" he started to say and you shot him a dirty look "What!?" He looked taken aback "I never want anyone to hurt you, you're like my little sister" he said Gladio and his family had been incredibly close to your family your whole life and more or less became each other's families, he honestly felt like your big brother. He was the whole reason you ever met Noctis and fell in love with him. "I should have told them" you said looking at the ground "It's not an easy thing to do" Gladio said resting his hand on your shoulder "I know..." you sighed You heard the patio door open and light footsteps come out, you recognized them. "Go away" Gladio grumbled You turned and saw Noctis standing there with the saddest face "It's fine Gladdy," you said with a smile wrapping your arms around yourself "I wanna be alone with him for a minute" Gladio gave you and unsure look and walked past Noctis making sure to shoulder him as he walked inside, almost knocking him over. Noctis brushed off Gladio and walked over to you "I am so sorry" he said in his most sincere voice "I am too" you said with a faint smile "I had no idea but I should haven't done that either way" he grabbed your hands "I should have told you" your eyes were starting to get glossy again "I understand" he said and pulled you into a hug and held your head against his chest "I never want to hurt you" he breathed into your hair his lips against your forehead "I want to be the one who protects you always and makes you happy" he kissed your head "I know" you smiled "I love you my princess" he whispered You smiled and looked up at him and kissed his lips "I love you too my prince" and you pecked his lips again "Do you forgive me?" He said "I mean I don't deserve it but I really do feel awful" "Of course I forgive you" "Promise me something" he put his hand under your chin and made you look into his eyes "Yes?" His look was intoxicating "Tell me everything, never hide anything from me and know that no matter what, I will always accept every part of you" he said seriously "I promise" You smiled and nodded your head and he smiled back at your going in for another kiss You heard the patio door slam open and footsteps running towards you You felt the air rush out of your lungs as a blonde blur slammed into you, grabbing you around the middle. "I'm so sorry!" Prompto yelled out sniffling, his eyes bright red "I had no idea! I'm such an ass" You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a huge hug "It's ok I promise I'm sorry too" you patted his back "No don't you dare say you're sorry!" He sobbed "Prompto everything's ok I promise" you said with a smile and a small laugh "I really appreciate how much you care and I know you wouldn't ever want to hurt me" "No never!" He let go of you and wiped his eyes and nose across his arm "Is everything alright out here?" Ignis asked peering out the door "Yeah" you smiled and grabbed both their hands "we are great" you laughed "Good, now come inside, I think it's time for a movie" Ignis smiled and walked away "That sounds good, lets go" you started walking back inside "I'm cuddling you both, just so you know" Prompto said his face still puffy and red You and Noctis looked at each other and bursted out laughing as you stepped back inside, grasping each other's hands and never wanting to let go.

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jacqy-tanoto · 7 years

Text

My Evidence In You Pt.4

Yeaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy I’m back! Idk if anybody even still remember my fanfic, but I have a lot of ideas, and Imma write it anyway~ so here you go!

[SPOILER FOR 707′S ROUTE]

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“Mmh...” you mumble as you slowly open your eyes, there you are lying on Saeyoung's bed, with his arms tightly wrapped around your naked body, you blushes as you remember what happened last night, you didn't remember how it ended, could you have passed out? As you try to remember you wiggle yourself out from Saeyoung's arms but every time you move Saeyoung just tighten his embrace you turn your head slightly to look at his sleeping face and call his name”Saeyoung...” as you stroke his cheek to gently wake him up “Saeyoung wake up...” but that didn't work, somehow you stroking his cheek and calling his name wake something else up, “Mmm....yeah MC I wuv.....mmm.....amazing....” you feel something is tickling your bottom area, panicked, you try to escape but he is too strong, and you are too sore, as your boyfriend molest you in his sleep, you thought of one way to wake him up “SAEYOUNG WAKE UP!!!” you head butt him straight to his nose “GAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” Saeyoung finally wakes up “Wha...what?? MC?? Whyyy??? I was having a great dream” a vein popped in your head, you took a pillow and hit him with it “WHAT.WERE.YOU.DREAMING.ABOUT?? You almost sleep rape me! Pervert! Pervert! PERVEEEEERRRTTTTT!!!!” tears of fear start to come out from Saeyoung's eyes as he receive your wrath “OW! I! OUCH! OMG! STAHHPP! I'M SO SORRY BUT I CAN'T CONTROL IT OW OWW!!!” after a while you finally stop, “Haaa....haa....” both of you are out of breath, “I'm sorry...” Saeyoung apologize to you as he stares at you with his best puppy eyes look, you tried to pout and look away, but he is too adorable that you can't help to crack a smile seeing your smile, Saeyoung lean in closer and hug you “Please don't be mad okay? I just... love you so much that even my dream is filled with you” he whisper those sweet words straight to you ear, his voice is so husky that it made your heart jump, “Like I can actually stay mad at you...” you kisses his cheek “Good morning Saeyoung...” he gives you the brightest smile, like the sun shining the world “Good morning” the two of you exchange your first morning kisses, happy, with hearts full of love and hope.

A piping sound can be heard from the kitchen, Saeran rush over and take the kettle of boiling water, he then pour the boiling water into a pot of grind coffee as you and Saeyoung came in “Good morning Saeran!” your voice startled him and when he twitches he spills the boiling water to his hand “HOT!! SHIT!!” you rush to his aid “Are you okay? You should run some cold water to it!” Saeran quickly moves away, his face is so red you'd think he spilled boiling water to his own face “Leave me alone!” he turns away and went tot he sink to cool his burnt hand “Y'all so noisy even in the morning! Seriously... you have other people sleeping in this house now Saeyoung, be more considerate with your night activity's noises okay, we do NOT want to hear it... especially not your brother, what? Do you want to give him more psychological trauma?” said Vanderwood as he came into the kitchen and make him self a cup of coffee, hearing that Saeyoung face turns pale as your face turns beet red “Wait...what? What...do you..men..?” you ask Vanderwood again to make sure he's saying what you think he's saying “W-wait!!! In my defense.... I DID want to put soundproof wall in my bedroom but I forgot, but I though I did but it turns out I'm wrougghhh!!” you kick him in his tenderloin and as he falls to the floor you bowed to both Saeran and Vanderwood “I'm...so sorry... this is really embarrassing I'm so sorry... I swear it will never happen again!” you apologize “Wha...wait... what does that mean??” Saeyoung gather all the strength he has left to ask “Silence! No Phd.Pepper and Honey Buddha Chips for you today! I'll take them all home with me today! And I'm not coming back here for while!” you walk away from him but he grabs you “Wait!!! You can't leave...” “I can and I will” you replied “No, you don't understand, uh..” Vanderwood who were watching you guys while enjoying his morning coffee finally speaks up “You are not yet free from danger” suddenly your anger and embarrassment disappear, “What do you mean?” Saeran who has been quiet all this time sighs, he pour coffee into the cup he's holding and offers it to you “I believe it's because of the fire that burn down half of the prison building in Bangnam area yesterday... some prisoners took this opportunity and escape” the room went silent for a while “It's the prison where all of the member of the agency we used to work with is imprisoned, including the leader, there's a high possibility the agents who are still on the run are behind this...” Vanderwood explains “Yes, but I have hacked into the database, the leader were moved to Ryong Nam prison the day before, and when I hacked the CCTV I saw that 'fire' starts really close to where all the members' cells, if they want to free their team mates, they won't do such stupid things, sure, because of the fire some can get out, but most of them definitely will not be able to survive” Saeyoung stands beside you as if to calm you, “So you're saying, whoever did this actually want to...” you don't even dare to finish your sentence “Seems like one of your ex client want to make sure their secret is buried to the ground....” Saeran casually say the dreadful truth, a shiver runs through your body, Saeyoung hugs you from behind as he says “I will not let them find us, so... could you please grant my selfish wish and stay with me until we take care of this?” his words calms you down, there's no hesitation in his words, you nodded and feel his embrace tighten.

------------------------------------- 17.23 Participant: Yoosung, Jaehee, MC ------------------------------------

Yoosung : MC! Jaehee! Thank god you're here, I have arrived in front of the apartment building, which floor is Rika's apartment again??

Jaehee : 2602, we're almost finished with the packing

Yoosung : Oh no...sorry I came late T_T

MC : That's okay, I'm glad you came here to help! It's the thought that counts

Yoosung : MC you're so kind... gosh I can't believe something like this is happening, when we JUST move on from a tragedy....

MC : Yoosung.. cheer up, I believe we'll be okay, we'll get through this together like we did before

Jaehee : Agree, no use in getting gloomy... let's believe that this is the last arc of this event...

MC : Agree!

Yoosung : LOLOLOL 'last arc' sounds so cool.... but yeah you guys are right, let's trust Saeyoung and Vanderwood! Oh, the lift is here, I'll be there soon!

Jaehee : Very well, I shall get back to work then

MC : Me too!

[Yoosung left]

[Jaehee left]

[You left]

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“There you are!” you feel a warm embrace as you signs out of the messenger “Why are you sitting in such dangerous place? This is the 26th floor!” Saeyoung protest as he tighten his embrace from behind the railing of the balcony, you were just sitting on top of the railings to get some fresh air “Don't worry, I won't fall!” you giggle as you hear his protest “Hell yea you won't! I'll never let go even if it means I'm the one who's going to fall! Now down you go!” Saeyoung lift you up easily and put you on the ground “If you're going to fall from rescuing me... then I'll jump to your side and we can fall together” you playfully pinch his cheek “No! You can't! If that's what's going to happen then I'll rescue both of us instead no matter what it cost” you lean closer and put your head on his chest “I like that, we can also work together and rescue both of us” he stroke your long hair lovingly “Yeah, that's an even better idea” Saeyoung stroke your chin and lean in closer for a kiss “My guys have wrapped up all of your belongings, and Rika's belongings separately, MC, I'll have assistant Kang delivered to the respective addresses, you're sure you don't need any of Rika's old document?” Saeyoung freezes in the air and you pulls way from him “Oh Jumin! Thank you so much for your help, ahh... you even came here yourself despite your busy schedule...” a little bit flustered you step away from the still frozen Saeyoung “Ah~ I bet Jumin actually come here to run away from meeting with his father again huh?” Yoosung appears from behind Jumin with his bright smile “Yoosung! You're here!” “Hiya! It's been a while MC! We talked a lot in chat room but rarely meet, you... look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you..” a hint of blush appears Yoosung's cheeks and so does yours “Yoosung... you're making me blush” you shyly reply “Well, there are people who said that women in love looks more beautiful, and it's actually can be explained scientifically, when a person's in love, the happiness from being in love triggered some kind of hormones that will spread pheromones that will make the opposite sex attracted to said person...” both you and Yoosung stares at Jumin with your jaws dropping “Wow... you know a lot stuff huh Jumin? That's impressive!” you claps your hands in awe “Not more than me! Hey Jumin, I know you know what was about to happen why do you have to come in and ruin iiiitttttt??” Saeyoung pouts like a child “Because I have important thing to say to MC and should I remind you who asked for my help to move all the stuff in this apartment?” Jumin's answer makes Saeyoung's shoulders drop “Fine... Thanks... I really appreciate it....” Saeyoung sighs.

All of you went inside the apartment and finish up packing, you agreed to move in with Saeyoung, on two conditions you want to put all of Rika's documents somewhere save, and you also want to take some of your stuffs, Saeyoung already bought you a bunch of clothes and even under garments he also offered to buy you more so you don't have to leave his house, but you feel bad to accept it, so you insisted to come back to the apartment to take your stuff, and being the overly cautious person he is Saeyoung insisted on asking for Jumin's help, who surprisingly agreed without a fuss, you wondered if Saeyoung actually blackmailed him, but you decided to believe that Jumin sincerely want to help, everyone except Zen is there, he still has to practice for his upcoming musical The Phantom of The Theatre, where he'll be playing this rich handsome man who finally meet with his long lost first love when he watch her perform in the theatre, she was stalked by this scary man and he has to rescue her, it's a very good premise and you can't wait to see it. You look around the empty apartment there are a lot of memories here, even though you're just there for a few months, through the phone Saeyoung had guided you to find a lot of things in the apartment which you have no idea where they are kept, there's the window that Saeran broke to get into the apartment, there's the corner where Saeyoung shut himself in from everything, there's the desk where Rika's secret is hidden, a lot of things happened in this apartment, although mostly is not a pleasant things, you can't help but feeling a bitter sweet feeling to leave this place, maybe it's because this apartment is where Saeyoung first opened up to you, and where your love truly blooms “MC...come on, it's going to rain soon” Saeyoung appears from your side, he offers you his hand, which you took with a smile, then all of you went back to yours and Saeyoung's home.

It took only one moving truck to take all of your stuff from the apartment, but 4 luxurious cars to take you and the rest of the RFA plus Vanderwood and Jumin's bodygurds to Saeyoung's house, the rain is pouring hard, the first and the last car are vacant by Jumin's bodygurds, Jumin is on the third car with Jaehee and Vanderwood, while driver Kim is driving, you, Saeran, Yoosung, and Saeyoung are in the second car, Saeyoung insisted to use his bulletproofed car to take you and Saeran, and since Yoosung has never be inside bulletproof car, he insisted to join too, at first you thought there will be an awkward situation but surprisingly Yoosung and Saeran bonded with each other pretty well, you guys shares laughs and you swear you saw Saeran smiled through the mirror, everything went so smoothly until Saeyoung suddenly stopped his car “....all of you, stay in this car, MC take the wheel if you must, and go to Jumin's place” his face is dead serious, not long after that he get off the car, and you can see Vanderwood is following her, you squint your eyes and saw a man sitting in front of Saeyoung's door, he looks terrible, his clothes seemed burnt, half of his air are gone, he looks like he's dying “Could it be...” you whisper “Yeah, one of the agent survived.... hey where are you going woman??” Saeran's voice can not stop you from getting off the car and go to Saeyoung's side.

“He could have something useful for this case!” you can hear Vanderwood's voice from afar “I can't completely trust him! We don't know what really happened yet what if the agency actually did planned the escape? What if he actually a part of the people who burn the prison?? I saw the CCTV, nobody should be able to survive that in close radius, and every member of the agency are put really close with each other!” Saeyoung replies harshly to Vanderwood, while the burnt man is looking at both of them, as if pleading that they'll help him “Sae...” you hesitate to call his real name, “Seven!” you calls him with his old agency's name instead “MC? What are you out here??” Saeyoung looks shocked “That man is the survivor right?” the rain is drenching the four of you, mist starting to come out every time you speak, “This is one of the agent that survived, he said he came here for help, but SOMEONE is being too paranoid and refuses to help” Vanderwood sneers at Saeyoung “Well, can you guarantee that he's not up to no good?” Saeyoung snaps back at him “Saeyoung, the man is dying! He can't do anything to harm you, can't you see?” you squat down to check on the man, suddenly you no longer feel any rain drops, and somebody wraps a large warm suit around you, you look up and see Jumin, holding an umbrella looking straight at you “You'll catch a cold if you stays in this rain...” he then looks at Saeyoung “I have my bodyguards on standby, if something is bout to happen, they'll take action, there also no single person is around except us, so I think he's not here to make a trouble...” with a heavy sigh, Saeyoung finally agreed to take him in, “Fine, let's go, MC stay close to me...” he looks at you pleadingly “Understood” then Jumin make a gesture to his two bodyguards, and they lift the burnt man and take him inside after Sayoung opened the three layered security system.

It's the next morning after the incident, Yoosung and Jaehee spent the night at Saeyoung's house, and you guys have a marathon for a sitcom series “How I Wed Your Mother” at the 3rd episode of the first season Saeran joined in, and he's currently sleeping on the floor, you fell asleep halfway through season 3's finale, but it seemed like the three of them stayed up longer, luckily it's the weekend so they don't have any school or work to do. You get up and went to the kitchen when suddenly you hear a police siren, it's getting closer and closer, and in just a split off second you hear something that makes your hear stops “LUCIEL CHOI, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR MURDER, GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY”.

It all went by so fast, you rushed to Saeyoung's room but Vanderwood stopped you, when Saeyoung walk pass you he give you a sad look and say “I'm sorry... please... wait for me...” your screams did not stop him, Yoosung and Jaehee tried to stop him, saying there must be a mistake but Saeyoung had opened his security system and the police blocked them, Saeyoung surrender himself and let the police took him, without even looking back once and you are left there, confused and devastated.

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TBC Obviously, didn’t have the time nor skill to draw some fanart to act, as the ‘VNM’ mode hahaha but if i had some ideas i will add some!

If you’d like, feel free to leave some comments, suggestion for me :D

#707 #saeyoung choi #707 mystic messenger #fanfic #saeyoung x mc #707 fanfiction #my evidence in you

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makingtheunconsciousconscious · 7 years

Text

5.30.17

Oh God, the hot fucking venom gaaahhh i cant stand being around people who spew spew spew i cant Okay so like.... i feel bad about this but fuuuck need to gew some of this ick off my body and my emotional body and spirit. Okay like.. I see it a lot in my cohort Competition against other women With millie and dr espinoza When the girls were trying to get them on sides The shit talking But at the same time... ughh they're younger... they don't know better.. and they're just expressing themselves... and i just need to be accepting.. recognize that this is their shit that they need to deal with and let it go But its so triggering And like oh god, they love me And I'm like.... lightweight or heavy weight a stuck up snob like... ohhhhh myyy gooood pleaseeee nooo... don't love me Isn't that weird? I can't accept affection from other people?! Like... if i know a girl likes me, i panic and get all freaked out like aaah o.o fuck well Or maybe it's only when i don't like her.... yeah i think that makes sense... i don't like some of the girls in my cohort???? They annoy me?????? Wowowwww???? But i talk like them now????? But i hate it????? Just like right now O_____O good lord I need to start hanging with my friends who are like... awesome and amazing and who are doing cool shit with their lives I feel like s is a narcissistic whiny likee.. lightweight intolerant bitch but then like im trying to understand that she comes from a different culture.. then there's k... she's from a similar culture, but bruuuhhhhh she's so young and totally not mature... always trying to prove herself like danggg... girl.... just breatheeeee... your anxiety is rubbing off on me.. then there's dai who is akin to s's lackey. She's certainly an empath..... mmm... probably a lowkey anime nerd.. haven't gotten to that part yet... she's eh... don't know how to feel about her yet.. still testing her energy... feeling it out.. feels like a kind spirit... des is chill.. probably a lowkey control freak but is also pretty quirky and nice.. not dominant at all.. totally submissive.. type a apparently.. then there's mac who has been mia ishhh.. she's hilarious.. Definitely comes from a family of privilege... tries to be empathetic.. passionate.. outgoing.. extrovert.. then dee.. chill laid back a friend to all... bitch LOL jk not at all pretty perfect.. then din.. nice.. quirky.. nerd lolll but a good friend too... oh shit almost forgot i... stoic.. but expressive.. i feel like i lose myself in this mix I need to ground myself in myself and my purpose, my journey.. connection to God... connection to myself.. connection to the earth... connection to others... sometimes i feel like i need to conform and learn how to be more like others to fit in... but you know what just dawned on me as i typed this out.. i don't.. absolutely do not need to conform. I need to embrace myself, who i am, and be comfortable in my own skin... the parts of other people that annoy me is my spirit telling me to look at myself.. geez... because that's what k does... she changes herself to try to fit in.. the more alienated she feels and the more alienated from herself she feels.. i need to connect with myself, accept and love myself, connect with myself, be who I am and who I envision myself to be.. someone sincere.. full of love, caring, genuineness, authenticity... and just show up as who i am and my lived experience and trust that God has me. Then the girl who is a compliment-fishing narcissist.. mmm... i catch myself doing a lot of her gestures and I'm like... fuck fuck fuck fuck. Not not not okay. I love how outspoken she is... but maybe she really just has a terrible view of herself o.o so i don't know.. she has this really strong exterior... but wow... yeah... inside... she is hurting.. as is k... as is mac and everyone in their own way. Everyone is hiding all their insecurities... because we have to be these women leaders... big and mighty intelligent witty... but everyone has them.. and are working on them.. and no one wants to be called out.. everyone wants to be supported... just be me.. everything will fall into place.. love myself.. see my own faults brfore complaining about the faults of others... there are a million things i could fix about myself.. but i point the finger out.. i should really reflect on myself and how i am coming across.. i feel like me announcing that i have social anxiety kind of.. is a self-fulfilling prophecy... so from this moment forward, i dont have social anxiety. And so it is.

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