#+ i didnt have time to go to the house between shifts. so i hung out in the sonic parking lot for 20 minutes

[dykediitsi]

to recap my day

- a server accused me of stealing 35 cents off her table and went to the MANAGER about it AFTER i handed it directly to her

- 2nd job, my section was literally empty for over an hour and another server got sat 3 times so i asked her if i could have one of the tables and she said yes. manager got MAD at us about this because apparently we’re not supposed to pick up each others tables. i said ok i havent been sat in over an hour and T got 3 tables in the meantime so i picked one up. die.

- this stupid fucking bedframe doesnt have instructions in the box so i spent 15 minutes on google trying to find the instructions only to find out this box also doesnt have the screws in it. so im sleeping on the mattress on the floor AGAIN tonight

[milqueandsugar]

Hello I finally got enough courage to request smth! I saw that you did some hcs on how they would react to their crush getting rlly cuddly and sweet when thier tired? I was wondering if you could do C!Philza, C!Technoblade and C!Quackity one as well?

(Maybe make the philza one extra fluffy bc I'm a simp for his C!phiza) 👉👈

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Warnings: Slight nsfw mention

Genre: Fluff

| Philza |

He loved building with you, any project you may come to him with expect him to be on it

So when you came to him asking to help repair some creeper damage to your home he was happy to help

However as the day dragged on it ended up being much more work then you originally expected

Between repairs and gathering materials by the time your house was back to its original condition the two of you were exhausted

Philza had been packing up to leave but you felt so guilty sending him home after all that hard work

"Hey, Phil, you could stay the night if you'd like? I'd feel bad sending you home so late"

"Don't worry about it Angel, I'd hate to over stay my welcome"

"Don't worry about it, besides I was having fun with you!"

He couldn't hide the happy grin that came to his face as you invited him inside

His grin only grew even bigger as he noticed how affectionate you were being

He's seen you clingy before, but he never seen you so touchy

The two of you were lounging around on your couch when he really began to notice

Laying in his lap, playing with the loose feathers in his wings, running your fingers through his hair, he's unbelievably joyful

Words cant describe how he felt waking up on the couch to you in his arms, he wished he could wake up like that every morning

| Technoblade |

Cuddles? Clingyness? Yes, give him all of it

You and Techno needed to go nether wart gathering

And it went tits up pretty quickly

Barely getting out of the nether alive, let alone with any netherite at all

It was safe to assume you were done for the night

Tour legs hurt from running, you were sweaty, you were short of breath

You just wanted to go to sleep

Flopping into a near by snowbank the piglin approached to check you over for injuries, foolishly falling into your trap

Catching him by the end of his Cape you pull him into the snow next to you

The snow began to melt almost instantly from the piglins warmth

With no energy to stop you he merely laid there, letting out a few happy piglin noises as you shifted to hold his arm

" I'm beginning to understand the whole arctic thing"

"Not a fan of the nether, eh?"

"To put it nicely, your the only good thing that's come out of it"

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't deny the smile on his face as the two of you rested in the snow

Your head on his shoulder, drawing imaginary shapes on his chest

If domestic bliss was real then the pig was certainly feeling it

| Quackity |

Lazy mornings was tour guys go to

Not in the usual way however

Despite how much Quackity wanted to you didn't live together, you did however get breakfast together

After all he was working for Schlatt, it was unlikely you'd see your friend any other part of the day

The two of you were sat in Niki's bakery, coffee cups and a muffin split between you on the table

Sitting at the bar you didnt have the energy to not fall back, why didnt these stools have backs to them??

Noticing you were getting dangerously close to wiping out he quickly wraps a protective arm around your waist

"Tired hermosa/hermoso?"

"Yeah and hung over"

He laughs at your pain, which you don't find very funny

You begrudgingly rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment of rest

Niki comes around to take your trash but his quickly hushed by Quackity

"A few more minuets"

Nodding she slinks away and watches the two of you with fond eyes, she wished her crush was like that :/

[technowoah]

Can you do a Karl x fem!reader where Karl keeps giving her gifts(flowers, armor etc) and reader is just really oblivious? Ty

I thought I was being obvious

THANKS FOR THE REQUEST! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I made it romantic if you didn't mind.

C!Karl Jacobs x fem!reader

⚠︎ fluff, mentions of weapons, im switching between 3rd person and 1st person but its all the same person (the reader)

It simply started with a chest full of flowers at her door step. When she opened the small chest every flower that she could imagine was inside, it was like someone picked every single one of those flowers from a huge field.

She had to try and bring those flowers back into the house so she decided in a moment of bliss to pick up the flowers from the box, instead of lifting the chest all together. Her arms were engulfed with tons of flowers tickling her nose while unkown to her a note was left on the grass beside the chest that held the flowers she is currently taking inside her house.

Dear my love,

I hope you enjoyed the flowers and I hope that you will accept this as an offer as a date, for us to be together for a small amount of time so that I can confess my feelings for you, but for now I hope that you can notice my advances. I would love to go on a date with you soon!

Love, Karl ♡︎

1st person

The next day was like no other day with you going out to either mine, or help and hang out with friends close by. She had ran into Tommy earlier and walked around with him while letting him talk and yell her ears off until they both ended up separating both having other people to attend to. Tommy went with Ranboo, which was unusual, while she went to Karl who was wandering around his house.

"Karl!" You said while waving the man in the colorblock hoodie.

"Oh hey y/n! Whats up?" Karl waved as you made your way back over to Karl where he was standing in the grass.

"I just had a walk with Tommy until he went with Ranboo for some reason, but I wanted to talk to you-"

"Really?!" Karl's eyes widened until he regained his composure.

"Yeah I wanted to check up on you! Like we always do." Your voice was weary not knowing what Karl's intentions were at this moment.

He looked disappointed in some way and you didnt know why. It was sad and confusing not to know why he was feeling this way and the only thing you could do was ask.

"Karl are you okay? What's wrong you know you can talk to me about anything!" You put your hand on his shoulder in a reassuring way.

His gaze was focused on the ground until he turned his head toward the hand the was laying on his shoulder.

"Im fine! Im all good its okay." Karl sent a smile towards your way trying to keep up his spirits up.

"Alright. I'll believe you. So what do you want to do?" You asked still weary if the situation.

"There's this field of flowers we could hang out in."

The next time it was a sword sheath with an enchanted netherite sword that glowed in the darkness that she revealed it it. Her mouth dropped while she put the sharp sword back into its sheath to protect her from getting cut.

She couldn't believe who would send this to her, but the gifts kept coming and she was no where close to knowing who it would be. There was a small note attached to the end of the sheath and she had picked it up and read the note that hung on a small string.

Dear Y/N,

I had made this from the leftover netherite in storage, I enchanted it and named it Toska, I love the meaning of that word and I hope one day I can tell the meaning to you. Thank you for always putting me friat in your mine and I hope you see me doing the same.

Love, Karl ♡︎

She finally she knew who was kind enough to send these gifts to her. She had placed the sword somewhere safe, so she could use it for combat, or even just keep the sword as a memorabilia from a friend. The sad thing was that she couldn't tell Karl's romantic advancments to her.

The next time this happened Karl had sent her an enchanted bow and arrow and netherite boots. She couldn't belive he remember that her original netherite boots broke. He had sent another note that went the same as the others, sending his love without blatantly saying that he loves her. He wanted to wait till they were face to face to say it, but at this point he thinks that they will stay just friends.

He could tell because if the gestures he would see from her, there was no revelation that he loved her for a while. She somehow didn't notice his advances and that made him want to give more until she finally noticed.

1st person

"Karl! Thanks for the sword It's beautiful." You said as you saw Karl walking on the Prime Path doing who knows what.

"Oh of course! Did you see the note with it?" He asked you with hopeful eyes.

"I did! It was really sweet. What does Toska mean?"

"Oh yeah! It means a longing for a specific something, somone." Karl said.

"That's adorable!" You said while Karl waited for something else.

"That's it?" Karl asked kind of annoyed.

Your eyes frurrowed, "What do you mean?"

Karl shifted while the two of you still stood in the middle of the Prime Path, his gaze was glued to the ground.

"Karl please tell me what's going on! You've been acting like this everytime we are standing together. Please this is bothering me!" You pleaded for your friend to talk to you.

He looked up with another one of his smiles, again, he looked disappointed behind those gleaming eyes.

"I thought I was being obvious, but its okay! Lets do something, let's go see what Big Q is doing." Karl rushed through his words as he grabbed your hand leading you through the prime path, trying to get his mind off of anything, but how good the feeling of your hand felt in his.

The next couple days you woke up to multiple peices if jewelry each day with small notes.

The first day after the bow and arrow was a necklace with a blue diamond with a note.

I LOVE YOU

-KJ

The day after that was a gold bracelet that you had feel in love with and ended up wearing everyday with another note attached.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

-KJ

You hadn't seem Karl after that one day when he dragged you around the whole smp kingdom, and you were getting worried with all the gifts that he was working for. The fact that he spends time to find diamonds, enchant netherite, and find jewelry makes you worry for his sanity. Him spending this much time on you when you want it to be equal playing fields. You didn't want to feel like a queen, you just wanted to be loved.

You drew the line when in another chest there was a totem of undying.

Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WANTED TO SAY THIS TO YOUR FACE, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE ITS NOT CLICKING SOMEHOW. I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY THIS. I will love you till your last breath, if you happen to use the totem of undying, well it speaks for itself.

-KJ

You had rushed over to Karl's house where he was sat on his stairs looking out into the distance and the sky. He looked ao pretty with the wind in his hair and his colorful hoodie he was wearing.

You had stomped over to him with the totem of undying glowing in your hand.

"KARL!" You had raised the totem in his face and he was taken aback because you had raised a glowing piece of gold too close to his face.

You continued your rant, "Karl I like gifts, but this is drawing the line! A totem of undying?! This is way too much. You could've told me you loved me straight up front without the gifts! I would've accepted, whatever you were going to do! I love you too and you know that! I love you as a friend and as lover, I would love to be your girlfriend." You calmed down as Karl's eyes progressively started to return to their normal size instead of widened.

Karl started to chuckle with a small smile on his face.

"I thought I was being obvious!" Karl laughed and you lightly chuckled as well.

You brought him onto his feet and brung him into a hug in which he reciprocated. You both stayed there for a while until he pulled back and gave you a small, shy peck on your lips juts testing the waters. You had done the same giving him a small peck in return, both of you widely smiling at eachother.

"Y/N will you be my girlfriend?" Karl asked.

"Yes I will, only if you take the totem back."

"Deal!"

Authors Note//

After imagine thoughts: this was shorter than I thought- also have yall noticed I love Karl's eyes. Hope you liked it! 💜

Btw I didn't proofread, i usually dont, cause I wrote this during school hours..

[durmstrange]

Possessive - Neville Longbottom

Hello and welcome to another sweet Neville blurb requested by @pastanest​:

okok so hEAR ME OUT: Neville getting protective (maybe over an ex talking to the reader? someone flirting with her? someone scaring her - not the twins bc they’re not bad guys but like someone who raises their voice at her or somethin and makes her cry) and then afterwards he APOLOGISES TO THE READER cuz he’s worried he’s overstepped/been possessive and he’s worried she didnt like it but then she’s like “nah fam that shit was hot wdym” 😭🥺🥺 Im giving you a lot of wiggle room with this request bc I love your writing SO MUCH and I cannot WAIT to see what you do with this 👉🏻👈🏻 hope you have a wonderful day!!

I loved this idea so much and couldn’t wait to write it.  Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,091

Given your rather reserved nature and sort of shy demeanor, you spent a fair bit of your time under the radar of the other students, ducking by ugly words and harsh comments.  It wasn’t until you began seeing the shy but incredibly kind Neville Longbottom.  The more you were with him, the more you were saw by the other students.  You were no longer a student passing by in the halls, you were Neville Longbottom’s girlfriend, of all people.

The attention wasn’t all bad.  Sure, Draco Malfoy began to recognize you and tease you in the corridors and lessons, but you also gained new friends with this new attention.  Neville introduced you to Seamus, Dean, Harry, Ron and Hermione, all who took you into the Gryffindor house as if you were one of their own.   You spent a lot of your time with them there, listening to them joke around and talk with one another, not once hesitating to make you a part of it.  Neville showed you what love was and he showed you true friendship, and for that, you would never be able to thank him enough. 

Due to your social abilities and shyness, you often handled anger in all the wrong ways.  Whether you were the one angry or someone directed anger towards you, it was just hard for you to handle.  This was evident during one situation as you sat in the Great Hall, waiting for Neville to go over the newest Potions essay with him.

As you sat with your head in your hand, you felt someone sit down across from you.  With a gentle smile, you looked up but your smile faded rather quickly.  “Hello, love,” Ernie Macmillan greeted without skipping a beat and rested his head in his hands, staring at you.

You shifted gently, ducking your head to your work once more.  Ernie had feelings for you.  You knew this, as did most of the school, as he announced it in vain in the courtyard shortly after you and Neville went public with your relationship.  “Hello,” you greeted quietly as you refused to look up at him. 

“What are you working on?”  Ernie asked as he leaned over to peer at your parchment and books.

Quickly, you pulled your work closer to your without thinking much about it.  “Nothing, really,” you murmured in response, making his face scrunch up in anger. 

Ernie reached across the table, snatching your work from your hands and looking over it.  “Let me just see for myself, then,” he muttered as he straightened out the parchment in front of his face. 

“Give it back,” you pleaded as you reached across the table for it, but he only turned and faced away from you. 

Ernie hummed.  “Potions, eh?  I’m quite good at it, you know.  I could give you some private lessons,” Ernie offered with a smirk as you sat back down on your seat, tears welling up in your eyes. 

“She doesn’t need your help,” Neville spoke behind you, raising his voice louder than he normally did, and leaned across the table, snatching the parchment back.  “For the last time, leave my girlfriend alone.  She doesn’t want to be around you, so quit hovering,” Neville added as he placed a gentle hand on your back.  

Ernie scoffed.  “Longbottom to the rescue, then?  Pathetic, really.  She could do better than you, you know.”  Ernie’s words were meant as a taunt to Neville, but his face remained calm as he gently rolled up your parchment.

You stood, tears falling from your eyes finally and spilling down your cheeks.  "I know she can.  Too bad for you, she chose me, mate,” Neville finally snapped in a tight voice as you pulled at the sleeve of his cloak.  

“Let’s just go, Neville,” you murmured up to him as you grabbed your book and quill from the table. 

Neville and Ernie stared at each other, Ernie’s eyes narrowed, Neville’s wide and calm.  “We’ll see how long that lasts, then.”

Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Neville nodded gently.  “Don’t hold your breath, mate,” Neville responded coolly as he turned then, walking with you from the hall as tears fell down your face freely.

It wasn’t until Neville led you to an empty classroom not far from the Gryffindor common room did he finally let go of you, only to take your books and quill from your hands and to set your belongings on an empty desk.  

Incredibly gently, Neville wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to lean your head on his chest as your crying slowed to a stop.  “I’m sorry,” Neville murmured in a quiet voice as he rested his head on top of yours, his lips pressing to the top of your head. 

You smiled gently.  “Don’t apologize for Ernie, love.  I don’t understand why he won’t just leave me alone,” you replied quietly as you listened to his quickened heart rate.

Neville ran his hand along your back.  “That’s not what I’m sorry for,” he explained as he pulled away.  Neville scratched the back of his neck and looked away from you, towards the floor.

Curiously, you tilted your head to the side and moved to sit on the desk closest to Neville, your feet dangling above the ground.  “What do you mean?”  

“I’m sorry for overstepping, I suppose.  I shouldn’t have become jealous and possessive,” Neville apologized quietly as he hung his head, trying to look at anything but you.

Your heart swelled at his words.  With a gentle smile, you reached forward, taking his hand into yours and pulling him to you.  Neville stood between your dangling legs, a faint blush on his face as you looked up at him curiously.  “I liked it,” you admitted quietly as your fingers fiddled with the edge of his cloak.  “I like when you’re protective and possessive, Nev,” you murmured as you, too avoided his eyes.  

Neville smiled gently, searching your face for any signs of unhappiness, and as he spotted the small smile playing on the lips, he chuckled gently.  “Who would have guessed?”  His voice was light and sweet as he gently took your face in his hands, forcing you to look up at him.  

Incredibly gently, Neville kissed you, his bottom lip between yours and held your face in his hands so carefully.  You melted against his touch, as you always did, and smiled gently into the kiss.  After a short moment, you pulled away, a drunken look on your face.  “Thank you for being possessive, Neville.”

-

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[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[league-of-thots]

YeeHawks

Pairing: Hawks x female reader

Word Count: 3.3k+

Warnings: 18+, alcohol, riding, is cowboy kink a warning?

A/N: not the way y’all wanted me to return, but the way y’all deserve lol. i didnt really have the energy to give it an in depth edit but sometimes it be like that

         You wipe the sweat from your brow, the sun is high in the bright, cloudless sky. It means that the heat is just pouring down in waves from the sky though, and you curse the fact that you’d agreed to switch shifts with one of the other farmhands that had asked you the day before. Part of you wants to find Kirishima and reem him out, but you know he’s a sweetheart and wouldn’t have ever done something that would make things harder for you on purpose.

         Having said that, imagining giving the man a piece of your mind makes it easier for you to grit your teeth and put your back into heaving large packets of grains into a wheelbarrow for the pigs, so that you wouldn’t have to make as many trips. Instead, it would just be one hellish trip, and a lot less walking in the heat.

         Wiping the stray dirt on your pants you sigh. You feel sticky and can feel the grit on your face, on your arms. You must smell something fierce, though you know compared to the pigs you’d be feeding in a few minutes, you smelt like a bed of flowers.

         You feel the strain on your back as you finally finish loading the wheelbarrow and start to haul it over to the south side of the Academy farm. The ground is rough, and you feel the jarring of the weight in your shoulders, you’re going to be so sore tomorrow.

         After you finish feeding the pigs, you take the supplies back to where they belong and head off to start some of your final tasks of the day. One is milking the cows, and the other being your favourite, plowing some of the dirt to prepare for the new season.

         Is it a bit stupidly cliché that you love riding the big tractor while the sun lowers in the sky? Maybe. Is it worth it? Absolutely. It’s one of the best views you’ve seen in your life. Plus, it always helps clear your mind from a day of hard work so that when you enter one of the farmhouses, you’re ready to do whatever else you need to get done.

         When you park the tractor back to its spot in the barn, you see a few of the other farmhands talking together. They’re laughing with one another, and you wave to them as you walk out with your overcoat and keys.

         You’re in a daze until you realize you’ve somehow already started up a warm shower, standing under the steam to relieve your body from the stress of the day. Your muscles feel so much better with the hot water on them and the steam makes you feel as if you’re in stasis. It’s good because tomorrow is going to be a big day, the August festival, a celebration that the community holds as a sort of last hurrah before the season gets busy once again.

         After you’re clean and put together, you head downstairs to have a quick conversation with the couple other farmhands that share the house with you. You need to check if there’s anything else you need to do to help with the final preparations for tomorrow. The four of you had made some homebrew cider to share with the other townspeople, and it tasted quite good, despite being a little heavy on the alcohol. But nobody would be complaining about that, of course.

         “Mmm, I think its fine.” Mina says, faced scrunched up in thought. “We did pretty well with it for sure.”

         “I agree,” you reply. “Just wanted to make sure I could pass out for the night. I’m fucking dead.” She laughs a little at that.

         “Gotta make sure you have the energy for tomorrow. I hear that it’s going to be extra wild.” She waggles her eyebrows. “You know that there’s going to be a horse-ridin’ performance from our sheriff’s department, but there’s also gonna be some cowboys over here to show off some of their skills too.”

         You’re slightly intrigued at that. Maybe, you’ll even get to see him again… but, better not get your hopes up too much. Instead, you say, “That would definitely be a treat for all the hard work that this year’s been.”

         Mina nods sagely at that. “If I see that blonde, twink of a cowboy I’m goin’ to make him my bitch. Because I deserve it.” That brings a snort out of you, but you pray a little for Denki if you do see him tomorrow, because lord knows he’s going to need it.

         The two of you chat for a little while longer before you wish her a good night and head up to get some rest. You do have a busy day to get ready for after all.

           You wake up early the next day, ready to quickly get your tasks done so you can let loose with friends and community members that night. You wish that you don’t have to do any work, but you can’t have everything you want.

         So, you drag yourself out of bed, muscles tight and body sore, to quickly grab a protein bar and a cleaner pair of working clothes. Your overalls are starting to sport holes and there are some dark stains that just won’t ever come off. You need new ones, you think, as you walk towards the horse pen.

         You love the horses, how sweet most of them are and how peaceful it is in their separated area. It’s especially nice in the early morning, with a crisp breeze and the sun peeking out on the horizon. You grab the feed mix that someone had mixed the day before and drag it over to the troughs, where there are already some of the animals waiting for you to arrive. The horses have learned to expect people in the morning, and some of the more assertive ones wait at the fence to be the first ones to get to eat.

         While they feed, you prepare the cleaning tools inside the small stable that is connected to the fenced off pen. You take each horse that’s finished eating into the small shelter to clean their hooves, brush out their mane and body, and then your favourite part, riding them for a few laps of the enclosure to make sure they run a bit each day.

         It’s while you’re dismounting a cute mare named Starlight when you hear a low whistle from behind you. Someone’s obviously been watching you, and sitting there just outside the enclosure.

“Damn, baby, wonder if you could ride me as good as those horses there.” You feel a vein ticking in your head as you recognize the voice. He’s supposed to be getting ready for the group event, not bothering you while you try to get some fucking work done before you can finally relax and celebrate.

         You turn your body and inwardly groan as your suspicions are confirmed, sitting there waiting is a certain cowboy who’s always managed to piss you off greatly every time one of his short visits brings him to the UA farms.

         “Hello, Hawks.” You grit your teeth as you move towards the next horse that you’re about to take care of.

         “I’m wounded, really, that you don’t sound pleased ta see me, angel.” There’s a satisfied smirk on his face. He really does get off on toying around with you and seeing how much he can piss you off. So, you take a deep breath and calm yourself.

         “Now, why would you expect anything different? I haven’t forgotten the last time you came aroun’-“

         He waves you off. “You’re bein’ ridiculous. It was a harmless joke.”

         “I had to clean the stables for TWO WEEKS.” He just laughs at your anger, totally unphased. It grinds your gears more, the cheeky grin on his face that charms everyone around him, whittling down your intense irritation.

         “Well, if anythin’ everyone else certainly enjoyed it.” You grumble out some choice words about him, making sure they’re loud enough for him to here, as you start brushing out the mane of the mare in front of you. He seems pleased with himself, leaning on the fence, head on his hands.

         “Do you not have somewhere to be? Something you should be practicing for?” He lazily waves away your attempts to get him away from the work you’d like to finish up.

         “Who needs practice? I know exactly what I’ve gotta do so there’s no real reason for me to waste my energy before the actual performance.” He says it with a casual arrogance, that you know comes from years of experience and absolute confidence in his abilities. “The only thing I wanna do right now is try all of the good I know y’all made for the party tonight.”

         You give him an unimpressed look. “Just because we know each other does not mean that I’m going to just give you the cider meant for the community.” He pouts “You can try it when everyone else does later.”

         “Yeah, but we have a special connection.” He grins and you splutter, embarrassed and trying to put away the memories of your bodies pressed together and calloused fingers in your cunt.

         “Jesus, Hawks. Shut up.” You look around furtively, checking to see if anyone would’ve overheard.

         “You like me loud.” God, his smug look makes you feel hot and bothered.

         “Get outta here so I can finish my work, damn it.” He just laughs, turning around before turning back.

         “You better save me some of the goodies y’all made up for after the performance.”

         “Yeah, whatever,” you grumble, face flushed and mind now distracted with memories of Hawks’ hands tangled in your hair.

           “Well, now. This is delicious.” Your eyes follow his tongue that darts out to lick the drop of the cider that had dripped onto his lips. You’d made sure to fill a plate up with the treats that had been spread around the outdoor tables, lanterns hung up around them not only for ease of finding them, but also to light up the evening. “You helped make this?”

         “Yup. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was between never having done it before and Mina’s enthusiasm. God bless Momo, without her we wouldn’t have gotten it done.” He laughs, and you can’t help that you can’t keep your eyes off of him.

         He was slightly sweaty from his earlier performance, which had been perfectly executed, tank top tucked into worn jeans with a feather-like buckle. His eyes are scanning the crowd around as the two of you lean on the outside of the saloon, the inside being too filled with inebriated or high adults to even try to squeeze into a seat.

         “So, how’s life been around here since I last visited?” he asks between bites of some spicey brisket, obviously enjoying it.

         “Ah, not much. Just the usual social drama. Actually, Shinsou almost got his dick sliced off by some machinery someone had fucked around with. I swear to god that man has the worst luck I’ve ever seen.”

         “Holy shit, sure does sound like it.”

         “But yeah, it’s just living day to day for me now. Not much new happens out here, as you very well know.” He shrugs.

         “Might as well see. What’s even keeping you here, then?”

         “Not everyone needs to be on the road their whole life to be happy, Hawks.”

         “I suppose. More cider?”

         “Sure.”

           You’ve drank way too much, you know that. But the fuzziness in your head just makes you want to keep going, to have fun and make up for all the time you lose working long hours every day.

         Besides, Hawks is there beside you, egging you on and matching you drink for drink. His hands always seem to be on your body, either squeezing your ass, wrapped around your shoulders or waist. It makes you feel warm, and you know he’s teasing you, trying to rile you up. He wants to see how bothered he can make you before you snap and drag him off to some private place.

         You’re determined to beat him out though. So, you lean into his body space and trace your hands over his arms, the insides of his wrists. You hear his breath hitch, though his attention is kept on whatever conversation is happening in front of you.

         Of course, this is Hawks, who has just as much patience as a saint, despite being as far from one as possible. But you’re drunk and turned on and the teasing is too much for you to handle, so when there’s a brief pause in the activity around the two of you, you pull him down so you can whisper in his ear how much you want him.

         He grins, “Might as well head back to your place then.” You agree and drag him with you.

         The moment you’re in the house, you wrap your arms around his neck so you can bring his lips to yours. Its messy and rushed, but it’s relieving at the same time. The two of you have done this enough in the few times that he passes through that he’s comfortable enough to let you take charge for a bit.

         “You can’t even wait ‘til we’re upstairs, sugar?” he chuckles, drawing out each word. You feel the rumble of them, pressed up as you are against his chest.

         “Shut up, Hawks.” You grumble, pulling him towards your room if that’s what it’ll take to get his dick out faster.

         After rushing in the room, you kick the door shut behind you and immediately get back to kissing him. This time, he makes more of an effort to assert himself, holding your face in his hands and licking into your mouth. You sigh into him, your hands finding his heated skin beneath his shirt as the pace slows down from the frantic rush it had been. It becomes sensual, and you can feel him getting more aroused as he slowly shifts his hands, starting to grind into you.

         You pull away from him, getting some air as you start to take off his shirt. He enthusiastically moves to help and you get to admire his muscles stretch as he does. Obviously, life constantly on the road does wonders for your abs.

         “You too, sugar. You’re gonna make me feel underdressed.” He says as he moves to take off the rest of his garments. A laugh slips out of you as you hastily get out of your outfit. When you turn your attention back to him, he’s sitting on the bed and he gestures for you to join him.

         When you do, he kisses you again, intensely, as he guides you onto your back. You sigh as he kisses down the side of your jaw to mark your neck, reaching blindly for the lube and condoms beside the bed.

         He quickly slides it on and you hear the squelching of lube as he moves in a rush. You don’t have time to make fun of him though, because as soon as he’s finished, he spreads your legs and puts the head of his dick at your entrance.

         He groans, closing his eyes as he enters you, and its uncomfortable for a little bit. Soon enough though, you relax, and start to feel great as he moves his hips slowly against you. Hawks fucks deeply, you know this from your times before, but each time it feels just as tantalizing as the last.

         “Hawks, please.” You pant, trying to wiggle a little bit just to get some friction, some tiny relief for the edging you’ve been through. He just gives you a smirk, as he keeps you completely locked between him and the mattress. You tense so hard he groans on top of you, but he doesn’t let you move, dick still sitting snug inside your cunt.

         “Well, let’s see those barebacking skills you were showin’ off earlier then, hmm?” he says, his voice low and gruff. With ease, he gets the both of you turned around so you’re now sitting with your ass on his thighs, hands clamped tight on your waist keeping you in place while he lays back on the headboard. He nods satisfactorily, looking you up and down with lidded eyes. “Y’know, I like this view much better, baby. What a pretty picture you make right on top of me.” Part of you wants to roll your eyes, but the warmth that his words give you makes the impulse disappear.

         “You know, Hawks, in order for me to show you said skills, you’re going to have to let me move.” He laughs as you try and lift yourself against the pressure he’s putting, obviously unable to really do anything. “Seriously, you dick, lemme move.”

         “But the face you make when I play these little games with you is so cute, sugar.” He’s got a faux innocent smile across his face and you pout and cross your arms in response. “Okay, okay, I’m done. I promise,” he says, letting off all the pressure, but keeping the two of you connected at the hips.

         “Thank you.” you quip, starting a quicker pace than the one Hawks had been setting, gravity still making it just as deep as before.

         Being drunk obviously makes Hawks that much louder, or maybe it’s the change up in position, you can’t be sure. But, his praises, his deep moans, the lewd noises from the slapping of your body against his hips, it all makes you feel hot as hell.

         You look down, seeing Hawks’ eyes widened and excited, he grins when he notices your look and begins to rock up into you. You throw your head back in as he hits deep within you, crying out his name. Hearing it obviously enthuses him as he grunts in exertion, starting to thrust upwards harder, and you feel your body responding, muscles tightening as you get closer to your climax.

         “God, you’re gorgeous like this, y’know?” he gets out through gritted teeth. “I’m not going to be able to last much longer…” He’s panting, fingers digging into your hips sharply, sure to leave marks.

         “Please, I wanna cum Hawks!”

         “Tell me what you need, sugar, I’ll give it to you.” Hearing that makes you smile, he was always so attentive to your needs.

         “Touch me…”

         “You gotta tell me where for that.” Even when so close to his climax, somehow, Hawks manages to be cheeky. However, when he’s fucking you this well, it’s much easier to let the teasing roll off your back.

         “My clit, Hawks. You do know what that is, right?” He lets out a genuine laugh at that, before sending one hand down towards the bundle of nerves.

         It’s enough, between the stimulation and the deep thrusts into your cunt, that you feel yourself tighten and cry out, cumming hard onto his cock. You lean into him, kissing him hard as pleasure courses through your body.

         He works you through it, breathing heavily, you can feel his pulse skittering under your hands. You feel him twitch within you, and an idea forms in your mind. Mind wrapped up in pleasure, you act on the thought immediately, bringing your hands to his chest to play with his nipples.

         He loves it, making keening noises as you work, legs shaking with effort to stay up and keep pace with him. You let him take the lead and you hear him shout and arch up as you pinch his buds, feeling him release.

         He thrusts a couple more times, lazily and slowly, kissing the top of your head as you settle down to lie on his chest for a few minutes.

         You breath deeply, content in the moment. You know after you clean up and rest, he’ll be gone on the road once again, so you relax, enjoying the presence.

[angelicmichael]

Pretty Please

Jim Mason x reader

Summary: Jim and Reader decide to throw a christmas party but get distracted while trying to do so. Christmas fic!!

Words: 2.5k+

Warnings: Hella sexual tension, no smut but almost smut?? Very sexually suggestive hehe, fluff with no plot basically, SO much fluff its gross

A/N: based off this prompt I found in a christmas prompt list 'Making out under the christmas tree because the lights reflecting in their eyes just looked too ethereal for them not to kiss them until they lost their breath' sorry I cant find the specific prompt list this came from. Jim and Reader are both 18+, and this is kinda canon rewrite?? Basically as if the ending in ttopv didnt happen and Jim actually lived.. and got a gf haha. ALSO loosely based on the song 'pretty please' by Dua Lipa. Enjoy 💖 read the tags for more thots

You felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you once you entered the apartment.

The minimalistic decorations that once adorned the small apartment you and Jim owned were now paired and even doubled with new, shiny, Christmas decor. The last thing you were expecting to come home too was christmas decorations, to be completely honest. You knew the decorations were new because prior moving in together- you two had nothing.. christmas decoration wise anyway.

Saying that Jims childhood and even high school years were rough was definetly a understatement; you were thankful you didnt have to see him in that state and that you met him after that time.

You only met his parents once; well his mom anyway and almost immeadietly you knew why it took him so long for him to introduce you to her.

She was a fucking nightmare.

She told you immeadietly about Jim's dark past, probably in a lazy attempt to scare you off. She told you about Jim's father, the drugs, and even the drug overdose that nearly killed him. That didn't scare you off - but what it did do was break the final fucking straw for Jim who happened to overhear everything she said.

He hadn't talked to his mom since.

Medina frequently came over, she was practically your best friend and stayed incredibly close with Jim. In fact, you were supposed to see her in roughly a hour... along with a handful of other Jim and yours close friends.

With Christmas being so soon you and Jim decided to have a spontaneous christmas party. The idea was to decorate together but.. apparently Jim had other plans.

There was a wreath on the front door for one, and multi colored lights and Garland that were kept nearly on every surface of the house. Smaller christmas related knickknacks were placed too on the dining and coffee tables. It looked beautiful. You couldnt believe Jim would do this all for you, you meant to help but work unfortunately ran short so you had to cover a coworkers shift.

The entire living room was kept pretty dark and dim, only candles and the soft lighting from the christmas tree lights allowed you to see at all- but it was still enough. It was romantic if anything.

Jim didnt say anything as he came out to the living room to greet you. He stayed silent, watching you and your reaction as you spun around - trying to admire the apartment from every angle possible.

As you continued to keep walking in the apartment and admiring Jim's work, you couldn't help but dumbly giggle.

"Jim; dont get me wrong, I love the apartment but why didnt you just wait for me"? You marveled.

He smiled shyly, a light blush coating his cheeks.

"I wanted to spend as much time with you that I could when you got back before people started to show up for the party". He admitted, sounding slightly bashful and shy as he spoke.

He approached you, and you couldnt help but to feel butterflies at the closer he got. You dont know why you were suddenly starting to feel nervous at doing a act so simple; like kissing your boyfriend. Perhaps it was because normally when you two kissed or showed affection it was done so quickly and without second thought; it wasnt 'special'. You weren't blaming Jim for that either, you knew that was typical in long term relationships. However - tonight he was actually taking the time to be with you. It was beyond romantic.

He looked delicious. His hair wasnt messy but it wasnt kept up enough to look like he brushed it recently, yet it still managed to look so soft. You were yearning to run your fingers through it.

Once you were within arms reach, he quickly enveloped you in a hug. Forcing you to inhale his scent while you quickly buried your nose in his jacket, trying to take him all in.

He smelt like a hint of weed, but mostly like the ocean. You suspected he must've went surfing a while ago.

Even though the apartment was decorated for christmas and it was currently Winter; the air was still warm, maybe even a little muggy. The sun had finally decided to set, just sinking below the far off treeline - making the sky in a state of in between. Not dark but not quite light out either.

In the part of California you and Jim lived in, it only dropped about 10 degrees in the winter. You wore a warm cardigan since you came just home from outside; along with a pair of jeans and cozy boots that seemed to be your go to outfit in the winter.

Jim on the other hand wore a tight fitted dark navy shirt under his typical Jean jacket which you gently clutched onto.

"I missed you. I hate when you have to work during the holidays". You heard him softly grumble, which made you giggle.

You slowly moved, you backed your head up just enough so that your faces were now right next to each other. You bumped noses - you considered kissing him for a split second but you chose not too. Instead ghosting your lips over his; and gently resting your forehead together.

"Why? It's not like today is a holiday or anything". You asked, a playful tone apparent in your voice.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt Jim's lips inch closer, you could nearly taste his breath. Minty mostly, and warm on your lips.

You suddenly were itching to kiss him, unconsciously moving forward to ease the growing tension between the two of you. You jumped a bit when you felt a hand start to rub your back, quickly relaxing when you realized it was just Jim being handsy. You heard Jim's voice, even though you were incredibly close to him, it was so soft you could still barely hear it. A quiet, sultry whisper.

"It doesnt matter if it's a holiday or not". Jim started, he backed up a bit.

Just enough to make eye contact with you, now gently cradeling your face in his hands.

"This is the first Christmas season I've had where I'm not in between my parents trying to break up a fight. I'm so thankful I get to spend it with you, I just wish I had met you sooner". Jim said, with a shy blush starting to dust his tan cheeks again.

By the time he finished talking you were beaming. Pure happiness and joy was coursing through your veins as you stepped forward and fully enveloped yourself in him, your hands grasped his shoulders to steady yourself while your lips feverishly and slowly met his.

Jim's hands quickly adjusted, moving from your face down to your waist. His fingers gripped your skin tightly; the slight pain made you moan. It didnt really hurt persay but you knew your skin would be purple and sore tommorow. However, in this moment you didnt really care about how your skin would look - you just wanted him.

Jim kissed you menacingly slow; his lips working against yours so slowly in a deliberate attempt to make you frustrated and it was working. Your fingers flexed into his shoulders as you let out a throaty moan. You broke the kiss and let out a hiss,

"Stop fucking teasing". You spoke, titling your head slightly and arching your neck out - trying to hint to Jim that you wanted him to start kissing down your neck.

However; that's not what he fucking did.

Instead of feeling Jim's soft warm lips on your neck, you felt his wet tongue lick a fast stripe down your neck - most likely tracing a vein. You yelped and jumped, only realizing after how stupid you probably looked for getting startled. Jim was laughing too, fucker.

"What the fuck, Jim"?! You asked, laughter mixing in with your voice.

Jim giggled before quickly leaning in and stealing another slow kiss from you before mumbling against your lips;

"As much as I would love to sit here and make out with you all day.. we have business to attend too".

He pulled back suddenly, his lips up turning in a smile as if he knew what exactly he was doing.

"Business"? You mused.

"Yes. We have company coming over in 30 minutes, love" Jim reminded you.

You rolled your eyes, completely unamused.

"Do they have to come"? You whined.

"Yes. They do. Now c'mon make yourself useful". Jim said.

He turned around, grabbing a box that sat idly in the living room which you didnt notice previously. Opening it, he pulled out a ornament. You dumbly smiled, knowing exactly what this meant. He approached you, ornament in hand with a corny smile on his face.

"I decorated everything but the tree. I wanted to save something for us to decorate together". Jim stated.

"Your such a sap". You said fully laughing.

You grabbed one of the ornaments out of the box and walking up to the tree. You felt dumb for not noticing how bare the tree was before. No ornaments, no lights, no tinsel.. nothing. Well, nothing execpt for the one shiny ornament that you had just hung on one of the branches right center in the tree.

The one ornament on the tree quickly doubled, and then tripled until the tree was fully adorned with ornaments. You and Jim (mostly Jim) hung a string of lights around the tree. Making the already ambience scene in your living room even more cozy and romantic.

"This was a good idea, babe". You said, quickly kissing him.

You quickly checked the time, there was still 20 minutes before anyone was supposed to show up.. An idea popped up in your mind.

A wonderful, awful idea.

You were already standing comfortably close to Jim; you turned casually around and place your hand square on his chest.

"Its too bad we finished decorating so early, hmm"? You purred.

You didnt dare take a step forward; you knew Jim would make the next move and sure enough he did. He took steps closer to you.

You cheeks were slightly rosy, with the slight embarrassment you felt from suddenly taking the reigns and being in control. Needless to say this wasnt something you were really used too.

"We still have the tinsel to put up, you know". Jim chuckled lightly.

You looked down for a split second and looked back up into his circealean blue eyes, batting your eyes at him.

"Or.. you know, theres something else I can think of we can do that's less boring". You said.

You let your hand slip and travel from his chest up to his shoulder, feeling the muscle that lie underneath your hands as you took your other free hand up to his other shoulder. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard Jim groan.

It's not like you two have never been intimate before; that was far from the issue. Even though you knew Jim for fucking ever and you two have had sex countless of times - he still managed to give you butterflies.

That's how you knew he was the one for you. Even after all this time he still seemed to make you nervous and blush.

"Is that what you think"? You heard Jim say. His voice lowered in a husky manner.

You felt his arms quickly grab you as he gently pushed you onto the ground. He pinned you on your back; his hands on your shoulders as he softly panted above you. His face hovered right above yours - and his legs on your thighs. Not that you were complaining but you certainly couldnt leave or escape even if you desired too.

You merely giggled beneath him at this realization, not really wanting to switch from this position at all.

It sounded incredibly corny but you honestly wouldnt be surprised if you had took a brief visit to heaven. You felt pure, unfiltered ecstasy as you looked into Jims eyes.

The aroma from the pine tree that was directly above you and Jim filled your senses; the smell along with the candles set the atmosphere perfectly. Ornaments hung directly above you two, the rainbow lights from the tree reflecting in Jim's light blue eyes.

Because of the nature of how light Jim's eyes were, typically seeing reflections of other objects or anything really in them was close to impossible... but, maybe it was the already dark lighting in the room or a bit of christmas magic that made seeing the lights in Jim's eyes possible.

It made the already beautiful man look nothing but ethereal. You were left speechless as you could do nothing but stare, and get lost in his eyes.

You couldnt help but feel how lucky you were to even be in this situation, how lucky you were to be loved by him.

You could do nothing execpt for smile cheesily and blush at your new realization. Instead of craning your neck awkwardly to reach his lips, you chose to be smart and innovative instead, by taking one of your hands and pushing his head into yours - gently of course.

His lips met yours and you nearly moaned from the anticipation. You kissed him slowly, relishing in the feeling of being on the floor with non other than Jim Mason. You knew for a fact you would never do this with anyone else, nor did you even want to spend the time thinking about doing so.

His lips were warm and soft - not chapped in the slightest. They danced perfectly with yours; making separating for air almost a painful and undesired act.

When you separated, Jim still didnt let up off of you. He remained on top, breathless. His lips were swollen and pink, and were his cheeks. His eyes still looked beautiful, but even more so now that his pupils were dilated.

You heard him let out a soft, shallow growl. Bending down swiftly, almost animalistically, to the side of your mouth to give you a quick kiss. His lips ghosted and drifted down over your jaw; until you felt them meet your neck in gentle soft kisses.

Your mouth fell open, your fingers gripping the soft tree skirt below you that was riddled with tree nettles.

"Jim, wait". You spoke, barely even able to get the words out of your mouth without moaning.

You saw his head immeadietly snap up, those gorgeous blue eyes meeting yours again.

"Arent we having company over in like.. 10 minuets"? You asked, laughing.

You noticed Jim let out a brief chuckle as well before replying.

"Ugh, your right but if only I could bring myself to get off of you, baby". He spoke, gently attacking your neck in slightly more aggressive kisses than what you were typically used too. Although, you certainly weren't complaining.

You felt Jim slightly push his hips into yours, you automatically opened your legs - wrapping them around his waist and lower half. He gently started to grind into you; and there was no point in even trying to bite down or mask your moans at this point. All you felt was pure, unfiltered love for the man who was on top of you.

"I love you, Jim".

~

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon

[randomsevans]

Pain of being in love part 3

Original apart of @jtargaryen18 #30daysofchris2020

Two weeks had dragged by as you felt like an empty shell going day by day . You hadn't spoken to anyone apart form Scott ,you haven't left the house unless it was for a good reason. You would constantly forget to eat so Scott became like your own personal chief.

And all this because the time had finally arrived where your love for chris was outshone by his own love for someone else .

Scott had told you that Lisa and Minka have been planning a engagement party much to chris dislike as he sees the announcement as an engagement party .

Chris had tried to call you but you always let it go to voice mail as it was probably an invitation to the party next Saturday. You really didnt want to go . The pain in your heart was begaing you not to as it cant take anymore hurt . But you knew as being the brothers best friend and a family friend you need to go . Because as much as it hurt you . You know that this will make Chris happy and you need to be happy for him even tho you are dying inside .

++++++++++++

It was the day before the party so the Friday and some how Scott had managed to get you out of your bed and house only to be in his house on his couch . Currently eating too much mint chocolate chip ice cream along with this stuiped movie Scott forced you to watch

Love Rosie .

"How fuckin ironic "

You knew that Scott put picked this movie on purpose . Whether it was for the both of you to make fun or the movie like you usual do or let you watch it because it was so fuckin relatable. Either way you too had ended up watching the movie in silence with a few mumbles about food or if one was getting up or not and even a giggle or two when Rosie was struggling with a new born .

It had got to the part of the wedding and oh by god how you related to it . Rosie speech on how she loves him no matter where he is or who hes with .. your heart was yelling someone gets it . You were stuck in your own your head focusing on Rosie words until Scott spoke up.

"How ?" He ask

"What ? " you were confused and faced him as he faced you turning his body as the movie played in the back ground .

"How , when, why ?" He stared directly into your eyes with the soft blue shade he shares with his brother

"What ? " you asked again

"When did you begin to have feeling for my brother and why ... and how much because not to be mean but iv never seen you like this not ever so his engagement clear has affected you " he said softly

You hadn't yet actually spoken the words I love your brother to Scott or I'm in love with him to be more exact but Scott had guest it never asked about it until now .

You were silent for a moment thinking ... well more like your head was empty of thoughts you just liked the silence.

"Who said I have feeling.... "

"Y/n " Scott cut you off

You shift in your seat turning to face Scott legs cross over each other and hands in your lap looking down .

"I .. I had always had a crush on him you know ... who didnt " scott hummed in agreement

"But do you remember that day when I...was ment to have my first date but he never showed up "

Once again Scott hummed

"Well Chris picked me up... and he tried cheering me up .. and it worked "

You glanced up a Scott who looked softly at you as your eyes hot glassy . You looked back down to your hands as there stared nervously fiddling with the ends of the blanket that was wrapped around you.

"Well we were at a dinner ... and do you know in movies it like you have loved someone and you always new . Well it wasnt like that ... "

You took a deep breath.

"I hit me .. like a truck ... he was sitting at the other side of the table... and it hit me everything flooded I... love him but not just that . Because I love you ."

That caused Scott to scoffed as if ' I know you do who doesnt '

"It was more ... well more like a different type of love ... or more like . I was in love in love with him ."

You glance up at the ceiling letting the tears sink back into your eyes as you shake your head .

"I AM in love with him "

You looked at Scott who now had tears in his eyes ..and red showing he was trying to hold them back .

"And I think I always will . "

You were both silent for a seconde

"No matter where he is ... or who hes with a will always love him "

That caused you both to giggle as you made your way into Scotts open arms

"Quoting are we " he chuckled as your head landed on his chest as his arms wrapped around you .

"Well you know me "

You heard him sniff as you felt a tear drop into your hair .

"Oh .. god ... how have you kept it in for so long... that was like ... .... we were 14 or 15 fuck how ? Why ?" He said softly as tears clouded his voice .

"I didnt say anything or do anything because he will never and has never felt the same I'm... im like a sister to him ...in a weird way... and I'd never deserve him ....."

You left your head and looked at Scott .

"And at the same time I realised iam in love with him I also knew nothing would become of it because... " tears bow fell down your eyes .

"Because it was better to have both of you in my life then not to have neither of you ... and I wasnt willing to risk it ..... and I knew ... I knew this time would come .... but it dosnt stop .... it doesn't stop it hurting " you couldn't help but let it all out as you tucked your self back into Scott

He placed a kiss in your hair

"Your a silly one ain't ya ..... I will always be here you know that " he said softly

"You do know that right ?"

You just nodded as your tears drained his shirt .

++++++++++

You stood at Lisa front door with Scott by your side much like that dreaded day three weeks ago . You were in a blue floral dress in small pumps waiting patiently as you heard the party already up and ready with in .

"Its not late to turn back " Scott whisper in your ear just before the door swang open. To reveal Minka at the door with a giant smile and an even bigger diamond on her left hand . That had somehow made your heat beat pain through out your veins.

"It is now " you whisper back before putting a wide fake smile on

"Minka .... contagralations " you tired your best not to sound bitter you really did .

"Y/n right ? " she asked looking you up and down . You just nodded your head

She was about to speak again when Chris practically ripped the door hinges off as he opened the door wider . As his eyes landed on you there grew and his month hung open as he let out a deep sigh . Making your heat beat fast instead of the numb feeling it has had over the last three weeks .

"Y/n " was all he said a small whisper .

You and Chris eyes were locked missing the fallen smile of Minka as she looked between the two of you here eyebrows knitting . While Scott had a small smirked placed on his lips due to Minka reaction

"Chris I thought we agreed I'd do the door " Minka snapped at chris . Breaking his eye contact with you . To glance at Minka for a split seconde

"Um yeah sorry " he said quickly and looked back deep into your eyes , with the softest blue shade "I... I just heard her name ..." he sighed and he said it slowly and softly . He tilted his head almost like a child went there feelings are hurt . "I haven't..... I havnt see you ... heard form you ... I tried calling but ..I always ... "

"I was busy " you cut him off

Before chris could answer or even process what you said , Lisa pops her head at the other side of the door

"What are you all doing out here ! ... come on come in "she took at step back with a wide smile , as you stepped in .

She pulled you in to a tight high as she always does "isn't this amazing.... finally get to celebrate my boy with hes wife to be "

You closed your eyes as your rested your chin on her shoulder and sighed "it sure is "

You took a step back and put on the widest smile .

What you didnt know was as you were facing momma Evan's. Two blue eyed boys looked at you with soften eyes but both for different reasons .

"Come on let's join the others " lisa said to all of us.

"I couldn't agree more Mrs Evan's " minka replied

"How many times Lisa or even better mom " lisa laught her and Minka walked side by side to the garden

"Ma! " chris said .

"What she will be my daughter in law soon so she better get use it " both lisa and Minka laught and diserperared into the garden . Leaving you , Scott and Chris still in the hall way of the front door .

"How soon exactly ?" Scott asked the fill the uneasy silence .

"Um its gonna be a fall wedding " chris replied

"Oh " was all you said as you felt the pit in your stomach grow and your heart beating fast

"Like .... next year or two ?" Scott said slowly shrugging with his hands in his pockets .

"Uh no " Chris paused and took at quick glance at you and looked at the floor . "This year .... in 3 months " he sighed.

And as if it wasnt possible you felt your heart crack more .

Scott only let out a deep sigh and grab your arm " come on y/n let's get a drink " you nod you head and began to walk to the garden . But you turned your head over your should and with a deep sigh , you dry throat and stinging eyes .

"Contraglation Chris " you sighted, eys watery " I'm... happy for yo... you ... sh ...Minka is a lucky girl " you choked out as Scott pulled you futher away as he tried to save you from futher heart break or for you to continue lying .

"I'm...not " Chris mumbled silently as you were out of earshot .. and took a deep sigh and then finally followed your direction and headed for the back yard.

The never ending growing pit in your soul and tears in your heart was growing more painful as you chuged down your first of many drinks of the night. But what do you expect it's the pain of being in love

Ps I didnt realise that the actress (lily colin)that play Rosie in the movie love Rosie actual dated chris

[words-for-holland]

Happier (6) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A deep conversation between Tom & Y/N takes place. Tom offers a solution to Y/N’s problem, but does she take it?! Can Harrison convince her?

A/N: It’s a rather short chapter but a lot of Tom & Y/N action!! I absolutely love reading all your therories and comments! Thank you guys so much for reading & sticking around!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Betrayal

Its a vile word for the people you trusted your life with. Still in a state of shock, Y/N couldnt understand why Katie would have betrayed her like this. To think she was her best friend through thick and thin, always having each other’s back...it all seemed meaningless. Now here she was, packing up and trying to figure out where to go from here. London wasn’t an option and neither was the city with the rent being so high up.

As if her path was written by the stars, Tom had decided to call her the moment she started zipping up her bag. Y/N knew it wasn’t a good idea to answer, but it was almost instinctive in the moment. Truthfully, she needed someone. Someone to tell her it was going to be okay. “Hey, look. I know you probably hate me after the last time we talked on the phone like this, but I just wanted to say Im sorry.” Tom’s voice spoke softly through the phone as he let out a slight chuckle of nervousness.

Y/N smiled slightly as she listened to his voice. It was the most conforting thing she had heard, and could only imagine his voice wrapping around her to make her feel some sort of ease. “Yeah. No it’s um..it’s fine, really.” Y/N responds trying to calm her breathing after sobbing for the past hour.

“Yeah I guess, you were right. Maybe I was just jealous, because..I mean you already knownhow I feel. But you’re your own person so I can totally understand why you’d want to see new people. After all you broke up with me and—” Tom started getting more nervous as he continued to over explain his reasoning, but Y/N didnt seem to pay any attention as she lets out what was bothering her.

“Kate’s been crossing us.” She interrupts.

“Wait what? What do you mean?” Tom asks now more concerned, pushing the phone closer to his ear.

“She leaked information about Natalie staying thats where the rumors came from and she sent those pictures of Matt and I to Natalie’s publicist.” Y/N says as she closes her eyes.

Tom was more confused and in complete shock. Not understanding why Y/N’s most trusted best friend who do this to her. “Y/N...I dont know what to say..I’m sorry.” He replies, feeling defeated that there was nothing he could do, especially since she was so far away from him. Even if Y/N would have rejected his advances, he knew she needed him...now more than ever.

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Y/N lies as she sits down on the bed, silently crying.

“No, it’s not Y/N. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could be there to do something about it.” Y/N smiles at his words. For every sad and painful moment, there would always be some sort of comfort. Tom was hers. For a moment...just one moment, she forgot about all the terrible things that happened. The betrayal, the rumors, Natalie. The moment felt like it was meant just for Tom and Y/N.

But not all moments last forever. Y/N’s phone went off, alerting her of a notification. In fear, she thought the unknown number was ready to leave another threat for talking to Tom, but it wasn’t. Though it was just a simple Twitter notification that came up, it showed that Tom and Natalie were out again on display for the Public. Casually flirting back and forth, with pictures of their social media interaction with each other. Her heart sank even more..if it was even possible.

He was still with her, even if it was pretend. Y/N thought back to when Natalie first arrived to stay with them, and how she slowly tried to flirt her way and spend time with Tom. She thought about how well they worked and looked good together, and how she left Tom saying “You’d be happier with her.” While it was all under the unknown’s plan to say those exact words, Y/N couldn’t help but feel some sort of truth to it. Certainly, she wasn’t happier with everything thats happened, but for Tom...at least he still had a chance to be happier with Natalie.

“Y/N? You still there?” Tom asked through the phone, when he didn’t hear Y/N say anything for a good while.

She shook her head to stop her thoughts as she replied, “Yeah...still here.”

“Oh okay. Good. I thought you hung up on me.” Tom laughs nervously. “Look, uhh maybe we should focus on what you’re gonna do. So do you have a place to stay?”

Y/N looks around as she sighs in defeat. “No. I’d find an apartment but the rent is so high here in the city especially for those that live alone, and I really dont feel like moving back in with my parents right now.”

Tom listened to her dilemma closely, when he offered without hesitation, “Come back here.”

“Tom, you know thats not an option nor a good idea for us. I told you we needed space, and I certainly don’t want to live under the same roof with a girl your fake dating at the moment.” She says in digust, voiced laced with anger.

“Calm down, Y/N. Im just offering you a solution and I could make sure you don’t see her. It’s a big house after all.”

“It’s not happening.” Y/N says quickly to end the dispute. Y/N stops to think about her other option, one Tom make not very well like. “Maybe I could ask Matt. I know he doesnt live too far from here.”

“Okay, now you’re being delusional. That’s definitely not happening.” Tom scoffs, as he thinks about the sickening idea. “I don’t want you near him.”

“You cant tell me what to do.”Y/N snaps at him. “Just like I’m not telling to stop being near Natalie, let alone enter a PR relationship.”

“Well at least Im being honest and open about it and not hiding it like an immature child.” Tom fires back. Y/N was at a loss with the way he responded to her. While she did keep it secret, deep down she knew it was for his own good..but he would never know. “Im sorry. I didnt mean it. It’s just...I wish you were more honest with me..with everything. It hurts you know.”

“Yeah..” Y/N whispers on the phone, feeling guilty and upset by where they’ve ended up. “I know. I’m sorry too. I want to be honest with you about everything but I cant for good reason.”

“No reason is good enough, if you have to keep secrets from people you love.” Tom says bluntly. “Look Im not gonna make you choose where you want to go from here. It’s your decision and life. Im just saying my door is always open for you...no matter how many times you hurt me.”

“It’s not your obligation Tom. I’ll be fine with whatever happens to me. I have to be, but thank you.” Y/N says as she bids him farewell.

As Y/N grabs her stuff and heads toward the door so do Harrison and Harry. “We booked a hotel for a night, if you want to stay with us.” Harry says as he tried his best to smile for her.

Y/N does in return and nods. “Yeah. Okay let’s go.”

Harry, Harrison, and Y/N made it to Aviary Hotel in silence. No one was sure what they should say to the other, when everything had gone to shit in the past month. Once everyone settled down, Harry decided to go down and grab food the group, while Harrison stayed to watch over Y/N in case she needed anything. “So, you told Tom, Im guessing?” Harrison asked, sitting across the other bed as he watched her intently.

Y/N nodded not saying anything as she brushed her hair avoiding eye contact. She thought for a moment deciding if she should tell him about what really happened in the phone conversation. “He and I fought..kinda I guess. I told him I didnt have a place to stay and he wanted me to stay with you guys, but I said it’s not a good idea and then I mentioned Matt, and everything went downhill from there.”

“Wait why not? Why can’t you stay with us?” Harrison asked.

Y/N gave him a look as if he didn’t know the reason already. His blue eyes shifting from surprise to realization. “Right, I forgot.” They sat in silence for a few seconds before Harrison interjects again. “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know Natalie and the unknown number still poses a threat, not to mention risky, but it’d be unexpected for them.” He offered.

Y/N thinks hard about it, her brows furrowing. “Yeah okay...but how does this that make it any better knowing that Im living with my ex-boyfriend who is also living under the same roof with a girl that he’s fake dating not to mention your childhood friend, and may very well be the other person terrorizing me.”

Harrison looks at her as he rubs his face in embarassment. “Well..when you put it that way.”

“Harrison, you can put it in any other way you want, it’s still going to be a bad idea.” She says.

“Look just think about it, okay. Its a big house, and you can use the attic room upstairs if you dont want to see anyone and have schedules until we can sort all of this out. And if it bothers you that much I even have a friend that lives close by who also needs a roommate herself.”

Y/N looks at Harrison skeptically, as he weighs out her options. “You really out here trying to find a way to make me stay with you guys and leave home huh?”

Harrison smiles as he combs back his dirty blonde hair. “No, Y/N. This here?” He points out arms wide, gesturing to the room to represent New York. “It was your home. Your real home, whether you want to believe it or not, it’s with us back in London. I know everything has been rough between you and Tom, but we’re going to find a way. I promise.”

Y/N sheds a tear, as she hears Harrison speak. He was right. Home just didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without them, but as much as she wanted to say yes, the odds of it being okay were against her...that couldn’t be ignored.

“So what do you say?”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

i got this idea because when am i not soft for chris? i’m a little shy typing this because it’s kind of nsfwish but here goes nothing, chris is tired and just wants to cuddle you, you are reading and he lets you continue but starts slipping his hands down your pjs (not in a sexual way, at least not for the time being) and then he starts undressing you because you are warm and craves the intimacy of having your naked bodies pressed against each other and just clingy but so soft?💕

A/N- Uhhh so it did turn into smut, gentle smut. Like need to relax smut. I cant help myself. 

8:54 PM

Chris groaned looking at the time, and rubbed a hand over his face. Finally he was done, he was heading up the front porch steps and FINALLY he was going through the front door into a semi dark house. Can we say long day? Yes, it was a long day, he had flown out this morning on the red eye for Washington DC at 3 AM. He left you looking all sleepy in bed, your hair spread over his pillow as you shifted into his warm spot, and watched with half closed eyes at him picking out his suit.

“You should wear the grey Handsome.” You softly say while plumping his pillow under your head and wriggling in his dip in the bed. The blankets now twisted around your legs, and your foot poked out to brush along his leg as he laid it out on the end of the bed.

“Grey it is babygirl, go back to sleep.” His hand rubbed against your foot and tucked it back under the blanket. You yawned just then and went to sit up but he was quicker and his hand pressed against your shoulder to lay you back down. “We have enough time if you wanna play in the shower.”

Chris groaned at the idea, but he held strong. “You have a meeting in a few hours, and we can tomorrow, when Im not in a rush and can love you properly.” You seemed to accept that answer and relaxed back in the pillow nodding. Letting his lips brush one last time against yours, you settled back in to sleep, and Chris finished getting ready, mentally going over his schedule. As he left, he whispered to Dodger who now laid claim to half the bed. “Watch over her Bubs”

Now it was dark, the downstairs was dark short of the light over the stove, in which he found a covered plate sitting with a note. Evening baby, not sure when you will be home, and sounded like you guys were to busy to eat. Wake me up if Im not up! Xo, you had written in that wispy way of yours when your in a rush, and he lifted the cover to see a bowl of still warm stew and crusts of french bread. He popped it in the microwave and gave it a quick heat. Hitting the button before it could ding, he ate it right at the counter with now mans best friend sitting at his feet. “You want a taste bub?” he questioned, and with a light wag of his tail and hopeful eyes, Chris chuckled, and sopped up the rest of the soup with the last bite of bread, tossing it to Dodger. With a snap of his jaws, he raced off with his prize to disappear somewhere in the house, the click of his nails fading away.

Picking up and heading up the stairs, there was a soft glow in the hallway, to show the bedroom door half open and the source of the light. Easing it open, you were laying across the top of the bed, your hair in a messy bun and glasses perched at the end of your nose, reading a book. But hearing him you looked up and grinned. “Welcome home Handsome”

“Welcome home indeed” He sat on the edge of the bed, loosening his tie. You moved across the bed and draped over his back to nuzzle his neck while he unbuttoned his shirt, purring against his neck as you went to brush kisses against his skin. His hand lifted and cupped your face, tilting to kiss those soft lips of yours. “It went well, I think were just about finished up, and ready to launch.” Your hands rubbed against his shoulders and his head dipped forward giving a soft groan. “Your hands are magic Y/N.”

“Yea, you need it, your tense.” You gently tug on his shirt and draw it off. Moving to a stand, he continued to undress and put away his suit, telling you about the rest of his day, then he withdrew into the bathroom to brush his teeth. You got comfy once more with your book, stretched out on your stomach, your feet loping over your lower back, swinging back and forth slowly. When he returned in the only way he ever sleeps, naked, he laid on his back, arm over his face to relax. You promptly slid over closer, and his arm went around to rub your lower back, turning to kiss your shoulder, cuddling you in closer. Your so warm, Chris thought while letting his hand smooth along the band of your boy shorts, and slide under, squeezing an ass cheek lightly.

You simply turn the page, knowing your man would tell you soon enough what he wanted. His beard brushed against the sensitive spot along your shoulder, making you wriggle and glance at him over your glasses. “You know that tickles Chris.” you shift in closer and his hand slides back up to dip into your waist, mlving up your tank to make it ride up. “Mmhhh your so warm and feel so good baby.” He mutters against your shoulder while tugging you closer.

“Oh are you cold Handsome?” you giggle while marking the place in your book, tossing it aside while he drew your shirt up and over your head, looking down at you with more then a warm look now in his eyes. You pressed in close to his bare chest and pushed him back to lay down. You slipped to straddle him, your thighs lightly grasping his waist while you pressed your breasts against his chest, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Well I dont mind cuddling up to warm you back up.”

Of course he trailed your body, slipping his hands back under the band of your boy shorts, rubbing your cheeks and once more squeezed palm fulls, returning gentle nips to your lips. Brushing your hands through his hair till it spiked slightly, leaving it that messy bed head look you adored, you smiled down in his sleepy face. “Cuddling leads to other things, cause your fucking irresistible babygirl.” Chris confessed, letting his nose trail along yours and sighed softly. You could feel just how tense he still was underneath you, the ripple of his muscles tender to your touch, rocking your hips lightly against him as your hands rubbed up and down his side, those nips of kisses, soft and gentle turned more frequently shared. Deeper, and soft sighs led to a guttered moan and you give a soft bite while reaching down between you two, rubbing his erection that you can feel thick between you.

You were so warm, soft over him, it was impossible for him not to be turned on, and you arch up to move back enough to slide your bottoms off. “Cuddling does lead to other things, and you babe needs to relax. Let me do that for you.” You tell him while moving back up his body and now he could admire all of you. Soft supple curves glowing in the dim light, could see the slight glisten between your thighs. You nip lightly against his chest while pumping your hand around his cock and guide him to press into you, filling you when you press down. Ahhh, you were warm and welcoming, your hands taking his while rocking your hips.

“Mmmhhh you feel so good babygirl.” His hips taking slow thrusts, your rocking against him at the same speed, giving soft moans and moving your hands to his shoulders, panting at how good he feels filling you, hitting against your sweet spot at this angle, rotating your hips gently to grind against him. “So do you Chris, you make me feel so good, so full.” You shuddered lightly as his hands grasped your hips gently to move you faster, looking to reach that moment of release. You cup his face and kiss him fiercely, laying claim to his mouth, crying softly into it, as you shuddered in the beginning wave. “Oh god Chris... please im right there.”

“I know babygirl, I can feel it.” He grunts back, you were just warm before, but now your body sliding against his, hot, friction burning between you two, clasping around him and drawing him in deeper, making you moan out once more. “I need it...” loosening his grasp on your hip, to reach between your thighs and rolling his fingertips over your sensitive clit, your mouth hung open and your forehead pressed against his chest while grinding back. “fuck yes babe, oh god, oh god.” Your voice is soft whimpers and cries and his jaw clenches as he is right there, his thrusts ragged, stuttering. When you came, crying out his name, he to spiraled with you, pulling his arms around you and rocking through it, hissing out your name right back.

Your in bliss, milking him of the last of his seed, slowly loosening your hold around him, and settling more comfortably against his chest. He brushes your hair back and kisses your temple, holding there a moment and giving a sigh of relaxation. “Im not moving tonight.” you say while flexing heatedly around him once more and your head against his chest, which made you rise and sink slowly, could hear him chuckle softly. Chris reached for a blanket you frequently cuddled up with when you didnt want to get under all the covers and sheets.

“Dont, I rather like you right here, all soft and warm on me, and around me.” Draping the blanket over you and with a sharp clap above the two of you, the lights in the room turned off, leaving everything in only the soft glow of the street light across the street. “And its even better cause we can sleep in tomorrow and do this all over again.” He said sleepily, which you hummed softly back in agreement.

“Good things I dont have plans tomorrow.” You rubbed your hand over his shoulder and along his neck with gentle fingertips.

“Not true, you have plans with me Y/N” Chris informed you in a half sleep state and you rubbed your face in against his chest, chuckling.

“Im all yours tomorrow Handsome, Love you.” and when you looked up, his head was tipped back, and his breathing smoothed out, sound asleep and fully relaxed holding you, and you settled back in, not far behind.

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Member: Yunho

Genre: mellow, lofi cafe feels idk, long-forgotten romance??

Word Count: 1.9k

your eyes were fixated on the laptop screen, a daily cup of white chocolate mocha steaming next to your laptop on the surface of the table. you stretched and took a deep breath.

the holidays were here, snow was falling like cotton outside, but you were sitting here in your favourite cafe, comitting yourself to your work that, though drained you, was inviting enough to keep you occupied in this season. the sight of couples strolling outside was the first thing that caught your attention, followed by the children running around and making footprints in the snow piled up against the sidewalks.

your eyes drifted back onto your computer screen, when the bell that hung on the entrance door of the cafe jingled. the scent of roses drifted through the air, and you weren't sure if you were just being sensitive with your sense of smell, but you started to wonder how come nobody else was reacting to such a strong scent.

It wasn't a scent that not many wore, much less a man who had just entered the cafe -- your eyes reacted to the scent faster than your thought process, finally realising who it was.

you lifted your hands off the table, leaning back in the seat as your eyes traced the shape of his forehead, his browbone, his nose, his lips. you looked back at the screen, then tried to steal a look at him through your lashes, just that this time, he was looking at you too.

"Latte macchiato with spoon of cocoa powder," you heard him order.

Hmm. you hum. still the same order after five years.

He walks over to the table warily, his hands jammed into his coat pockets and his hair now longer but neatly combed up to expose his forehead, browner with more dye. "Still the workaholic you were when you left, i see."

"i was going to stay a workaholic regardless of the people i was with," you leaned forward and offered him a small smile. he pulls out the chair opposite you and sits down.

he smiles back with his eyes. "five years."

"five years," you almost whisper in response. you take a sip out from your own cup. "if you still think it was easy convincing myself to leave back then--"

"no, i didnt think it was easy," yunho shakes his head. "i just wish... i had more power to keep you here. i just wish whatever we had was enough to make you stay, but i guess i was wrong."

he looks you in the eye, gently blinking his tired, jetlagged eyes.

*flashback

you trudged your way back to the apartment, your mind elated but your heart heavy in your chest as you thought about the conversation earlier that day.

"i'll be sending you over to paris to work with chanel on their promotions."

"Huh?" You raised a brow, your hands held behind your back as you watched your boss pack her table and shove some files back into the shelf behind her.

"you've been producing quality work. so, i'm choosing you to go to paris and be our representative to work with chanel on a new contract."

new contract?

"this isn't a one-time business trip?"

"no, it's not. chanel's picky about the collaborations they offer other companies, and the one we got is based on a 7-year contract. If you accept it, you'll be staying in paris for the next 7 years."

you sucked your lips between your teeth and blink at your boss upon hearing the offer.

"i know you're in a serious relationship right now. but you deserved this offer, which is why i raised the topic in the first place. whatever you choose to do with it is up to you." your boss had her palms flat against her desk as she leaned forward and scanned your facial expression.

reality yanks you back to current time, when yunho gets the door of the small house open before you even reach the walkway.

"Oh, you're back! i was about to drive out to get you--"

"yunho," you breathed, picking up your pace as you turned into the walkway. "we need to talk."

yunho blinks at you, unconsciously wrapping his hands around yours as he pulls you through the door.

*now

"do you regret the decision?" you rested your cheek in your palm, looking at yunho's facial features. five years had zero impact on his looks. he still looked as good as the last time you saw him.

"of letting you go to paris?" yunho raised a curious brow, taking a sip from his latte. you nod.

"no," he shakes his head and licks his lips, resting his forearms on the table top and rests some weight on his arms. "you told me at the start of our relationship that your career was top priority, and i said i respected it. i still do."

there he was. the man you fell in love with. his maturity and ability to understand you on a different level was what made you so attracted to him in the first place.

"we both know i wouldn't have been able to stop you anyway."

your brows tilted backwards on your face, and you cocked your head to the side at his words. you felt shitty the week you left yunho, but all you could remember was him telling you to do your best, and that this was what you had been working for. 'you deserve it', he said. he might have been mature enough to respect your decision to pursue your career, but you were the one who chose to leave him, the only man whom you truly loved and wanted to be with.

"yunho, i--"

"no, please," yunho shows you his palm. "don't apologise."

you look down at your closed laptop, rubbing your eyes and running your hand through your hair. yunho finishes his drink and notices that your eyes were a little red, probably from staring too much at your screen.

"where are you staying now? i'll send you. how long are you staying for?" yunho hands you a napkin.

"hotel rendezvous. about 10 days." you take the napkin, knowing that he's already noticed your tiredness.

"okay. let's get you back to the hotel. you're already exhausted," yunho stands up. you remember this tactic of his. it was a power move that made you anxious, that made you pack up and leave with him, so you did just that.

the drive to the hotel was quiet, but strangely comforting. The car was filled with yunho's scent, so you felt like you had just been thrown back five years to when you first started living with him.

time seemed to pass, even when not many words were spoken. it was almost like god was punishing you for choosing your career over yunho. you fumbled through your wallet for the keycard, pushing the heavy door open and holding it, gesturing into the room towards yunho.

"are you sure? You're exhausted, you should be resting and not entertaining a gue--"

"Oh, shut up and get in," you chuckle, leaning forward and pulling him in.

you got your bag off your shoulders, carefully placing the laptop on the table next to the bed. yunho looked around the small, but elegant room while you pulled off your coat and your earrings.

you leaned down to the corner of the table, reaching for the socket switch to turn on your charger as yunho walked to the large sliding door a few steps away, looking out at the snow falling gently onto the balcony.

"how does it look like in paris?" he asks quietly, the warmth from his breath creating a small cloud of vapour against the glass. you stand straight again after checking that your laptop was charging before walking over to the sliding door, shoving your hands into the pockets on your butt.

"oh, gorgeous. especially when it snows. it's beautiful."

you hear yunho give a small laugh through his nostrils.

"you know, i thought about it. i thought about flying to paris to look for you, because i was never able to let you go."

you purse your lips and gulp, a strange feeling creeping up on your chest. it felt like when you first crushed on him and you had no idea if he would reciprocate. it was a feeling of anxiety and uncertainty.

"can i ask you something?"

oh, no.

"okay."

yunho finally turns to look at you, his height suddenly extremely in your face because of the lack of space between the two of you. you were dangerously close to him, so much that the only thing you could smell was the scent of him mixed with the rose cologne nobody else wore.

"do you still love me?"

you freeze at the question. your eyes try to look away, but yunho shifts his head to meet them. you slowly look down at your feet, only for him to tilt your chin upwards to look at him.

"i just need an honest answer."

you sigh, feeling your heart and presence completely melt at his touch. it was light, and gentle, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss it.

You'd be lying straight through your teeth if you said you didn't still think about him every other day, even when you were in paris.

yunho realises that you've gone quiet for a very long time, and he is aware that the only time you do that is when you know a truth you refuse to admit.

yunho closes the gap between the both of you, pulling you closer to him by your chin and kissing you lightly on your lips.

a feeling of nostalgia, warmth, and love overwhelmed you all at once. It had been five. long. years.

yunho pulls away and looked you in the eyes, knowing that there was no other person who could read you better.

"i do," you breathed, as yunho's hands shifted to your cheeks, his cold fingertips right below your earlobes. "i do, and i always will."

a small smile pulls his lips up his cheek, and you could see his eyes welling up with tears before he pulls your face to his again, this time, pressing harder, pressing longer, allowing the both of you to reminisce the taste of each other's lips.

"i'll never let you go again. i let you go once, i'm not letting you go again." yunho presses his forehead against yours, then pulled you into his embrace and burying his nose in your hair. you shut your eyes tightly, grimacing at the warmth and presence nobody else besides yunho could provide you.

"yunho," you were trying your best not to cry.

"hmm?"

"i'm assuming you still love me then?"

you felt yunho laugh a little into your hair.

"i'll love you for the rest of my life, and in the lives after this. no matter where you were, no matter where you will be, you will always have my heart."

A/N: i may or may not have busted a big fat uwu writing this, this might be the softest one shots ive ever written.

[1mfa0]

Oh fuck pt 2

Oh fuck pt 1

Fandom : IT

Characters (as of right now) : Riche, Eddie and Bev (+mention of the other losers)

Word count : 1959

Warnings (as of right now) : Excessive swearing, kissing, implied sex, alcohol, minors smoking

Summary of pt 2 : Eddie try’s to make things normal again but he is frfr struggling

Disclaimer : I have never really written anything before but I had a lot of fun with this so I hope you like it!

—-

Tomorrow is the first day of senior year. Richie and Eddie had originally planned to have a sleepover tonight and then go to school in the morning together but they have almost completely stopped talking. Richie has thought about calling Eddie about a million times but he doesn't even know what he would say. Debating back and forth with himself for hours. And then all of the sudden with perfect timing, his phone began to ring.

It was eddie.

“Holy fuck,” he said to himself under his breath.

He lunged for his phone at the end of his bed. Trying to keep his cool staring at it waiting for at least three rings as a desperate attempt to not seem desperate.

He answers.

“Hey Eddie..” His voice cracked.

“Hey Richie, we still on for tonight I rented some movies”

Richie is so thrown off by the calmness in Eddie's voice, why was he actually like nothing happened. Richie didn't have time to think about it but he also didn't care.

“Oh yeah totally. Um uh, my place at 7?”

“Cool see you then.” Eddie hung up.

Richie dropped his phone and proceeded to drop himself down on his bed. Lying on his back, he could not believe what just happened.

---

At 7:00 there was a knock on the door. Richie darted down stairs swinging it open. It was Eddie of course being as punctual as ever. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a fitted maroon crewneck. He looked so much more casual than usual, but he did tend to relax a bit more when it was just them.

“You gonna let me in rich?” he smiled, Richie had been just staring at him for a little too long.

“Oh haha of course Eds.” Richie said, forcing a laugh.

“So how have you been, did you pick out all your classes?” Eddie said he as he was taking off his shoes and setting down the movies he brought on the counter.

“I've been alright, I'm talking public speaking and art, easy As for senior year ya know. And then like all other normal classes.”

“Of course you are” He laughed, god richie missed making him laugh. “I'll take out my schedule later and we can compare to see if we have any classes together.”

“Yeah sure” Richie couldn't help but smile at him.

Once the ball started rolling, it was like nothing had happened. They just talked and laughed for hours. After they ate dinner and the rest of the house was asleep, Richie and Eddie settled down on the couch and started watching a movie. Though the noticeable space between them was normal for teenage boys it was not normal for these too. Normally they would think nothing of just cuddling together with Eddie's legs stretched out over richies, and even though they seemed to be in a good place now, the tension was still pretty high when it came to physical touch. And in an effort to try and break that tension Richie yawned while stretching his arm while putting it around eddie. As he felt Eddie began to shift he was worried he was going to pull away but he slid closer to Richie resting his head on his shoulder. Richie's heart was beating so fast he was worried Eddie could hear it. Neither of them moved until the second movie ended.

Eddie sat up, looking at richie, inches away from his face. “Hey I’m sleepy, I think I wanna go to bed”

“ah eds, as sleepy and adorable as ever.” Richie said pinching Eddie's cheek.

“Oh fuck off rich.” Eddie said, trying to hide his smile. Though he was unsuccessful making richie grin like a kid opening his Christmas presents. His eyes dropped to Eddie's lips, he swallowed hard and sat up fast when he realised what he was doing.

“Um uh we can go to bed.”

“No I don’t want to,” Eddie said leaning into Richie wrapping his arms around him and laying his head on his chest, “I just wanna stay right here.”

Richie didn't know what to say, so he just got comfortable putting his arms around Eddie and they both fell asleep.

---

Luckily Eddie already had an alarm set on his phone so they woke up with enough time to get ready.

“Hey Eds, Whatcha want for breakfast?” Richie yelled to Eddie as he peered his head threw the door of his room, Eddie was in the shower.

“Richie? get out!!” Eddie squealed from the shower, “BUT Also eggos would be nice..”

“Coming right up,” Richie said.

Richie was honestly more surprised by the events of last night then what had happened a couple weeks back. But he didnt care, he didn’t want to even think about it, he just wanted to appreciate every second he had with eddie. Once Eddie was out of the shower he got dressed and hopped downstairs to join richie at the table.

“Finally done princess?” Richie said with a smirk.

“Oh shove off, just because you literally take a 2 mintue shower doesn't mean I took a long one.”

After breakfast they got their stuff together and headed out to Richies car, well his dad's car but Richie had practically just taken it as his own by now. The drive felt so long, they hadn't been in that car together since that night and you could cut the tension with a knife.

---

Pulling into the school parking lot they could see the rest of the losers club waiting for them in their usual spot. No one thought anything of seeing Eddie and Richie arriving at school together but when Bev saw them approaching her eyes lit up. Eddie noticing this stopped Richie before he got out of the car.

“Um uh- Rich..”

“Yeah?” He said looking puzzled at the shift in tone.

“Don’t freak out ok, but..” not knowing how to word what he was about to say next he just spit it out. “I TOLD BEVERLY. I-I told her everything.” he said, giving Richie a look so he wouldn't have to Elaborate.

Richie started laughing hysterically “oh eddie, I told bev too.”

Leaning back with a sigh of relief. “Oh wow, she's really got us wrapped around her fingers doesn't she.”

“We aren't the only ones” Richie whispered to Eddie pointing to Ben intently listening to whatever nonsense Beverly was spewing now.

They laughed and then sat in silence for a moment, looking at each other. While leaning forward ever so slightly, Richie again felt his gaze falling to Eddie's lips but this time Eddie was the one that swallowed hard in realization. Causing Richie to pull away only to feel Eddie's hand on his leg. He leaned into richie and whispered in his ear.

“Meet me at my locker between 4th and 5th period,”

Quickly jumping out of the car Eddie ran over to where the other losers were, not waiting for Richie to catch up.

“Hey guys!” Eddie yelled excitedly as he approached.

As they all exchange their different hellos. Beverly shot Eddie a look.

“Where's Richie?” she said with a smirk.

“Just being a slow poke that's all, but why don't you go check on him bev” Eddie said pointing “parked right over there”

Standing up and already walking in that direction she said “Maybe I will,” she shot a wink at eddie.

As Beverly made her way over to Richie she could see him sitting on the ground next to the side of his car smoking.

While slamming her hand down on the hood of the she said “Sup rich, fixin to get caught?”

“Huh uh i-” Looking up and seeing beverly he calmed down.”Awh fuck you bev,”

Sitting down next to him and pulling out her pack “So you and eddie. Is that like-”

“No. no it's not like- well i mean, it's…” he trailed off.

“Common rich you can talk to me, you know that.”

Richie started giving her a quick recap of yesterday, how Eddie had called him and came over. How they cuddled and slept on the couch together.

“And then before he left the car to go over to you guys he told me to meet him at his locker after 4th period..”

“Omg he did? What are you gonna do!”

“I don't know. Meet him after 4th period?”

“Why do you think he wants to meet up?” She asked with a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

“Get your head out of the gutter Beverly I swear, that's not why he wants to meet up..” looking at his feet then looking back at her. “Uh um that's not why he wants to meet up right?”

She shrugged “you won’t know until you go now will you?”

“yeah ..”

---

Richie had been staring at the clock all fourth period just waiting for it to ring. He was nervous, yes, but he was more curious than anything else.

*RINGGGGGGGGGG*

“Fuck” he said to himself.

He shot up out of his seat and walked quickly out of the class and down the hall. He could see Eddie already waiting at his locker. He shut it closed as he saw Richie approaching.

“Hey rich!”

“H-hey eds, whats up, did you need to talk or something..”

“I don’t know, I just thought we could hangout. I have a free period right now and you have lunch right?”

“Oh yeah of course.” richie said as he wondered why he felt slightly disappointed.

They walked through the halls together toward the cafeteria when richie blurted out.

“Wanna go off campus, now that we are seniors we can go off campus for lunch”

“Oh yeah, that's right we can. Sure, totally we can go to the diner across the street.”

As they made their way to the car there was this weird energy between them, it wasn't awkward but something was definitely off. The drive to the diner was yet another silent drive filled with loud radio music. Richie pulled up into a parking spot, it was still pretty early in the morning so there were only two other cars there.

“Rich..” Eddie said under his breath, they were both just sitting in the car not knowing what to do next.

“Yeah eds”

“Richie, I'm so sorry.” He looked up at richie. His eyes filled with tears.

“Oh Eddie, no, stop what's wrong” he said, grabbing Eddie's hand.

“I just- I thought I could make things normal again, and I thought if we just spent more time together I could put it past us and just move on richie.. But I can't. I can't stop thinking about you and that night and I don't know what to do. This is all my fault.”

“Eddie looks at me,” Richie said cupping Eddie's face in his hands.

“This is not just your fault eds,”

“Shut up you know it is, I came on too you remember.”

“Yeah I guess technically, but I gave you my jacket, right”

“Richie don’t be stupid, that was not the first time I wore your cloths”

“Yeah ok Eds but it was different. I mean like-”

“OK RICH BUT IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT COMING ON TOO YOU”

Eddie's face was bright red. He wasn't crying anymore. He looked angry, but not at Richie, at himself. Richie was speechless, he could feel himself just staring at Eddie but he didn't see him.

“Richie say something, anything... please,”

The moments that past felt like hours but within seconds Richie had leaned into Eddie putting his lips on his. Pulling away ever so slightly so the noses are still touching and looking him deep in the eyes.

“Oh Eds you are so much braver than I will ever be.”

to be continued

—-

notes : AAA i honestly don’t know what I’m doing but I’m having fun so imma keep going. I Lowkey highkey don’t know how to write stuff like this but I hope you liked it! I feel like the point still comes across lol.

[bigsisterbabysitter]

His Girl 》Part 1

Promt: What happens when Billy survives the Mindflayer, he was trying to change himself and now his mind is broken. But a sunny girl brings light to his life when he thought he'd never see it again a girl who's been through the same events. Both dealing with their Truama they are drawn to eachother in more ways than just friendship.

Paring: Billy x Henderson!Reader

Warnings: blood, mentions of truama, mentions of abuse

Prologue:

She had worked at this dingy Gastation since Senior year, taking shifts when she can but after the summers passed events... She took up the shift nobody wanted the shift from 8pm to 5am. She couldn't sleep not soundly, not at night. Night terrors left her screaming and crying it got so bad she briefly had to sleep on the floor of her little brothers room just to be sure he was safe. But soon as his Freshmen year rolled in Dustin requested his space, she kindly gave it to him not wanting to add to his own stress.

So there she stood behind the clerk's counter her head down on her arms at 3am as she stretched her aching back. No one had been in for a good hour and a half but then as luck would have it the familiar chime of the door sounded and she stood up right and was met with a familiar tired face.

Billy Hargrove the man who lived being torn apart by the Mindflayer before her very own eyes walked up to the counter his hair a mess eyes bloodshot and bagged. He walked more sunken into himself. It was clear he hadent been sleeping. It had been like this the past 2 months. It was almost mid October and once he was healed he was given the okay to return home... like nothing happend. So he started to come to the little gastation in the center of town to buy a pack of cigarettes and a warm smile from the young woman whom his Step Sister adored.

"Its been a few days" the woman comments sliding him his normal pack of cigarettes along with the ashtray that sat beside her register. He gave a gruff thanks before slipping her the cash and opening the pack. Lighting one up he took a deep inhale and slowly blew out warm grey smoke. Y/N eyed him and took the cigarette from between his fingers as he leaned against the counter and took a drag herself tapping the ash into the tray on the counter between them.

"Been busy" he mutters his fingers playing with the loose edge if her countertop absently Y/N handed the cigarette back blowing out the smoke with a nod "understandable" she says to him. Walking from around the counter she strolls to the cooler pulling a coke she walks back her light wash jeans sar high waisted with a plain white tshirt tucked in to them and a sunny yellow cardigan that was a size to big on her smaller frame hung over her hands slightly. Setting the drink down before him "on the house. You look rough" she states

Her comment elects a smirk from the mans lips. "Thanks Henderson" he cracks it open taking a long drink. The unusual pair had grown close due to his nightly visits. They were each a welcomed destraction to one and other. She bites her lip in the comfortable silence the radio playing some newer song softly over the speakers neither if them really listened they just looked at eachother quietly. Finally Billy pipes up "why are you so nice to me" he asks I a serious tone.

Since the incident over the summer Billy's mind was in pieces, a shell of the man he used to be. He had been trying to change his ways once he realized he had started to become his father pointed out by Max when he showed up the the Byers house in a rage to find her after he and Harington went a few rounds she stuck a needle in his neck and threatened his manhood with a spiked bat. Then the worst thing happened some crazy demon shadow whatever he didnt know exactly still to this day had take over him. Made him do horrible things worse than ever before... it almost killed him, sometimes he could still feel it as if it was still inside his body cold and lying in wait.

Y/N didnt answer right away she glanced at the man. At first when he had showed up he bullied her friends, beat the hell out of Steve and scared the fiery red head she knew as Max half to death so she wasnt was welcoming in the beginning. But she started to see his change and that summer she had planned to make peace but then things took a turn when he was possessed.

She didnt really know the reason why. Maybe it was because she saw him fight to save them, maybe she saw the fear that lingered in his eyes, maybe it was the fact that as much as she hated it she had fallen for the Son of a Bitch once he started comming around during her night shift she finally speaks "because where you see a monster o see a hero" she chews her lower lip thoughtfully a moment "you're not a bad person. Not any more you came to terms with your mistakes and you have begun to mend them" she reaches out touching his forearm with a soft hand over his leather jacket "what happend to you over the summer.. that thing.. that wasnt you and it was not somthing you could control. I want tou to remeber that" her words were reassuring to the Male and she glanced over catching Y/E/C eyes with his own deep blue ones and nodded slowly content with her answer for now. He ran a hand through his messy blonde curls once again with a sigh

She gave him a sad smile as he looked away "hey anytime you need light conversation day or night I'm your girl" she nudged him playfully nit really hearing her own words at first. Those words.. 'His girl' it made him smile and look at the floor "thanks kid" he said softly and shoved his hands in his pockets "I'll see ya around Y/N" he says walking to the door she gave a small wave "See ya around Billy" God the way her gift voice said his name his heart skipped a beat

Chapter one, Pebbles at the Window:

It was mid Febuary so it was brisk outside. Valentines day had gone and passed leaving Y/N relieved." it was a stupid hallmark holiday anyway", she had pouted as her brother had rolled his eyes "well maybe to tou because you're single I have Susie" and with that he had went off to call her. So now at 1am she lays on her bed spread feet against the head board wearing a tshirt that's too big, a pair of Y/F/C panties and some warm wool socks that scrunched up at the ankles. A magazine in her face she paused hearing a soft tink sound against her window. She sat up slowly and stared at it. Again. Tink. She stood up and walked over moving the curtains aside slight fear in her eyes and confusion.

Her look soon turned to horror at what she saw. Bellow in the faint light she saw it. Billy Hargrove in a pair of sweat pants and a leather jacket with no shirt beneath it. His face was bleeding and starting to bruise. He looked scared. Y/N flew to the door quickly throwing it open to find him now standing on the porch. He said nothing he walked straight to his friend and wrapped his arms around her making her gasp softly

They stood embracing eachother for several moments in the open doorway her arms wrapped around his neck and he held her close around the waist his face buried in her hair as he tried not to cry. She shushed him softly stroking his blonde curls with one hand. Her legs were bear and feeling the cold but she didnt care she held him tightly his exposed chest was freezing she could feel it through the thin fabric of her night shirt finally she pulled him inside and shut the door softly whispering as not to wake her mother and brother in their rooms. "Billy what on earth happend??" She asked leading him to her room sitting on her bed. But really she already knew. For months Max had been confiding in her, scared for her Step Brothers life as his father was psychotic.

Their relationship had improved greatly and he had grown protective of his Step sister so when Neil came after her about being around Lucus again Billy wasn't having it. He told Max to go to her room as he took the beating leaving her crying scared he would die for a moment. But after Neils anger was gone Billy got up, reassured her that he was going to a friends while Neil passed out drunk on the couch. And now hear he was. He looked up at the woman before her, the woman he had grown to care a lot about and just took a shakey breath explaining it all. Y/N gathered supplies shaking with rage as she cleaned him up. That's it she wasnt having it any longer they needed help. After cleaning him up giving him a glass of water and Apsrin she made him lay down "no if and or buts Hargrove you are sleeping here tonight" she snaps pulling the covers over his waist once his boots and jacket were off. She climbed in beside him laying on her side and he slowly turned over to look at her with a heavy heart. "Thank you Y/N" he said softly his eyes glassy with tears. She reached a soft hand out to him causing him to flinch. She cupped his jaw softly "Any time Billy" he whispered back. That night was the first night in months either of them slept through the night.

When morning arrived Billy woke up alone and confused looking around the young womans room. Climbing out of bed sorrly he paused catching a glimpse of himself in her full length mirror. Scars from the mindflayer attack ran jagged across his muscular chest. His left cheek bone held a large blueish black bruise that went up under his eye which thankfully wasnt swollen. He sighed heavily running the back of his neck and opened the door curiously looking up and down the hallway "Y/N?" He whisper yelled. Then he heard something and paused. Laughter from the kitchen. Carefully he walked down the hall twords the sound and found Y/N and his step sister cooking lunch. When Max spotted him she gasped and ran over hugging him tightly Y/N smiled softly Billy stroked the younger teens hair "I'm alright" he promised "what's going on?" He looked confused

Max spoke before Y/N could "Y/N called in a favor from Hoppers friends!!" She pulled away looking up "Neil got taken into custody this morning my mom was a bit upset as shes being questioned since she never reported anything" she bit her lip "But they are gonna take care of everything and Ms.Henderson said we can stay here until it all blows over!" Y/N just smiled down at the pan with the grilled cheese sandwich she was flipping and stired the pit of tomato soup.

Billy just looked shocked he walked over grabbing Y/N by the shoulders spinning her around "Thank you" tears fall from his eyes and he Grips her tight "thank you so much" Y/N just smiled "any time Billy I'll always be there"

[excvlsior]

👫 lana leo

Send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

its not a secret tht leo is like. protective to a fault........ ppl have spat in his face before n he’s been like ‘awwww does baby need his bottle? 😋’ jst absolutely not taking anything srsly but the second tht they look wrong at someone he’s rly close to it’s on sight. before him n lana were even properly close he was fully ready to kill felix in the middle of campus in front of a giant crowd he truly has no chill when it comes to anger n needing to protect the ppl he loves. n i kno in his n lana’s earlier days when they first hooked up properly it was after being flirty at a bar n wht not n i jst imagine tht became like Their Place where they went to drink quite a lot...... n i jst picture near the end of their university life after leo probs dropped/flunked out n he went a bit unhinged someone probs wasnt even bad to lana one night just....... probs merely rolled his eyes just thought she was a chatter box bt leo caught it n went ballistic. knowing him it wasnt the first bar fight he got into there too..... probs his third tht year or something n now his pictures hung up behind the bar top under a giant ‘DO NOT SERVE’ sign..... he’d b pissed at himself fr getting banned from his fav bar n its his fav bc of lana bt knowing her she’d find them a better more fun place n pretend tht tht was where everything Started between them years ago......

even tho he usually sticks to bass n drums leo’s pretty musically inclined in a few areas tbh, he can play guitar and piano too due to Forced Lessons when he was younger n has a wee bit of a Voice on him. i jst imagine he loved to write half-assed goofy songs abt his friends and family n what not....... has probs even performed them from time to time as a joke at open mic nights at school or local cafe’s, n he’s def written A Lot of them abt lana. before they were dating, during, after, all just as bad as the last cuz bless his heart but he’s still a dumbass..... lyrics get as good as ‘thats my lana, wish i was her man-a’ even tho they were fully together at the time. got booed off stage once because he performed like 5 in a row and they all got more and more graphic, one of them went into specific detail abt their sex life n their fav sex position so hes probs banned from the cafe he used to perform those at too LKDHGLHSDLGKHSKLDGHSDG bt it was worth it..........

usually marj is the one thts rly keen on leo’s friends bt i think steve wld actually find lana a hoot............ marj wld still love her ofc bt. lana n steve’s humour is both so similar n they’re jst ridiculous. leo probs had to ask lana to come over a lot fr dinner maybe even more than after they broke up cuz steve wanted to make sure lana knew she was always welcome as if she wasn’t still best friends w leo maybe a mere week after they broke up..... sometimes he’ll show up at home after a shift n steve n lana r jst laughing to themselves in the kitchen n when leo asks abt it steve jst says . u had to b there. like he’s started some exclusive club w lana tht u have to fit the criteria to fit in for. LKSHDGKLHSDLGKHSDLGKSDG i kno thts not so much abt leo bt. it’d make him rly happy...... he’d sometimes dawdle after work jst so steve n lana can hang out a bit longer jst the two of them. steve’s a lot more interior w his emotions n leo’s always worried tht he doesnt hv a good outlet after finn passed so it wld jst b a nice reassurance....... n jst b nice seeing him so happy all the time again

even tho hes definitely not supposed to i think leo wld take so many bouquets to lana after shifts........ he wldnt even think much abt it or the insinuation behind it tbh its like such an obvious romantic move bt he jst thought lana wld like it n he wanted to try new flower combinations and figure out wht her favourite ones were......like i think it’d start fr special events n wht not like bdays or bringing some fr thanksgiving/xmas etc. n then one time he’d jst bring a bouquet randomly bc lana always seemed to love it n he didnt want some to go to waste n he figured she could nurture anything to full health. then it’d become a weekly thing n then suddenly lana’s getting 5 new bouquets a week...... her house wld b like a fkin greenhouse leo wldnt even get the hint tht hes being barbaric w it n bringing over so fkin many n knowing lana she wld never say anything n tell him to stop KLHSDKGLHSKLDHGKLSDD

[thestalkerbunny]

Bad Vibes I had while working at IHOP

Under a read more because wow. This got LONG fast.

-Woman came for a pick up. Got mad because it wasn’t ready. Started yelling at me because she wasn’t getting her order. I kept telling her we didn’t HAVE her order (which she placed online) Demanded manager. It was uncovered that she had placed her order with the IHOP across town. She was at the wrong IHOP.

-The fucko who placed 6 sandwhich melt orders and then never came to pick them up. Thanks for that dude.

-Dude who got pissy at me for not seating them even though they were a party of 6-and there was 8 other people ahead of his family-and he somehow saw the fucking empty table for 6 in the next dining area and got madder. I kept telling him there was a queue, there were people who were here first. I ended up having to give it to him because he began to legit scare me.

-the MASSIVE amounts of food we had to toss because people just never came to pick up their orders, like I could have fed quite a few people with the fail orders we’d get. We were less than 30 minutes away from Memphis, we could actually have made some hungry homeless people’s day with some free ihop food.

-Not really a bad thing, but this HUGE muscle dude with 9 million tattoos, a shaved head and sunglasses in door and in the deepest voice in all of deepdom, said ‘Table for 3′ and I physically squeaked in terror because this dude caught me off gaurd visually. He was actually very friendly with the servers and was taking his two elderly parents out for dinner.

-Also not a bad experience-but a guy with a huge back pack came in, ordered one cup of coffee and spent an hour there before paying, leaving and walking down the road, thumbing his way until he was out of sight. I ended up watching him because I was worried he was going to get hit by a car. It was very surreal.

-The small child who threw a hash brown on my shoe.

-Some random table who got pissy with me because of the lack of ketchup. I was not a server, I was the hostess, I do not control the ketchup. I ended up getting them the ketchup because I’m nice.

-The Gastation near my house began to know me by name because every time I had a really rotten day, I’d swing by and get a 50 Cent icee to make myself feel better and I had a LOT of rotten days. Not really a bad vibe but like. They saw me disheveled, usually red eyed and smelling of breakfast food at 6pm and knew I understood the struggle of food service.

-The woman who yelled at me because I couldn’t get her cheese cake pancakes because we were OUT of cheesecake bits. Ma’m why would I LIE to you about such a thing? What would I GAIN from that?

-Oh this is was a wild one-this happened shortly after my second breakdown and I immediately went back to work because busy mind doesn’t have time to cry and this weirdo the other hostess sat spent literally an hour, seat hopping and ordering coffee from different servers. Eventually, I watched him get up-go to a table covered in dishes the bus people hadn’t gotten to yet and pick up a plate and I think he licked it.

-The time I had to literally pick up all the thrown away cigrettes by hand in the parking lot because the new shift manager was like ‘let’s clean this up.’ Bitch we’re the Ihop. We don’t need these high standards.

-The fucking 3 DAYS WE DIDNT HAVE ANY TAKE OUT CONTAINERS fOR OUR TO-GO ORDERS.

-The fact I worked on Black Friday and lemme tell you, I didn’t get home till DARK because the traffic was so fucked. Nothing like being sweaty, pancakey and with achey feet while stuck in traffic at 8pm.

-The time I had come in for my shift and found they changed the hours for me to come in later-I went home, got bit by a mouse-and still came into work even more pissed off and worried that I might get some disease from the mouse bite. I didn’t but it didn’t help my brain space that day.

-Everytime I got yelled at by the servers for seating them accidently out of order. I only worked there for 3 months. I’m still a baby.

-Once I watched two seagulls maul each other in the parking lot as the sun slowly rose over the horoizon. It was surreal.

-There was a cat that hung around there between the IHOP and the OCharly’s that I called the Pancake Cat and I loved him.

[moonblssm]

a little cliche throwback 50s!jaehyun au for my bby @injuwun!

it’s pretty cliche and you knew it

you were the new kid, the one who scored a job at the local diner everyone hung around right when you came to town

it wasn’t long before you learned how to deal with the certain types of cliques around this town

and learned who was who

no one was ever really rude to you,,,it’s just some people didn’t fully appreciate the servers at the diner

nonetheless you didn’t care, you were just here to get some extra money so you could buy yourself a new pair of converse

but there was one person who always made sure you felt appreciated

jung jaehyun was always hanging around with a small number of his large group of friends from the only high school everyone went to

you knew a few of them too: doyoung was in your art class, mark had zoology with you, haechan was the underclassmen whose locker was next to yours

they greeted you often and shared smiles whenever you would make eye contact

but jaehyun was the one who always made sure to talk to you as he waited for his order, the one who would help you close up the restaurant when you were working your night shift

you were thankful of course, but didn’t think much of it

because why would he choose you out of all the girls that would swoon over him?

with his bright smile, fluffy hair that always looked right,,,,his perfect skin and his pretty deep laugh

and his button ups over a t-shirt and his shoulders always bearing a sports jacket

he was a member of leadership and was an officer for two clubs at your school

he was the type of person who had girls confessing to him at least once every two weeks, gently rejecting them and kindly telling them that he wasn’t interested with a sweet smile

he was popular, that’s for sure, but he didn’t think he was

his humbleness just added to his charms that would affect everyone, including much of the customers that you would serve

you were fully aware of his reputation and were just sure that his kindness towards you was a natural act

little did you know that you had caught his eye and he didn’t do this to nearly anyone else

one night was particularly busy

it was the night of the homecoming game at the high school and everyone was at the diner for a pregame meal

staff was short today because the two employees that were supposed to be working with you were either sick or at the field covering the game for their class

your manager wasn’t even there

so it was just you, a chef, and one of haechan’s friends chenle that you have grown to baby

many times, your patience was tested by the rudeness of the group of middle schoolers no one liked when they sent back the correct burger,,,,they just wanted to make everything harder than it already was

or the several times someone spilled their drink that night,,,,,one of them being a strawberry milkshake

and even the family from out of town with an infant and a six-year-old who took forever to order

but there was nothing you could do about it as you weren’t about to walk out or just leave chenle and the chef to do all the work

no other than jaehyun was there that night with sicheng, doyoung, johnny, and yuta, watching as you dealt with customers as patiently as possible

not even complaining even when you got to the kitchen to take plates that were ready

eventually, everyone started clearing out as game time drew closer and you could finally get of your feet

there was only one more table still present in the diner so you told your coworkers to go take a break,,,you woukd handle it until they left

chenle: you’re an actual angel *kisses your cheek*

cleaning all the tables, you collapsed into the high chair at the counter after wiping the surface clean

huffing and blowing some stray hairs out of your face as you buried your head into your arm

the drink fountain turned on and you assumed it was one of the other employees until you heard a cup being placed in front of you and the seat next to you being taken

you were surprised when you sat up and looked at the person in front of you

it was jaehyun, wearing a smile that was enough to take at least some of your tiredness away

“drink some water. you look kind of dehydrated.”

that was all he could say before you heard the last customer calling for you

you started to get up, but jaehyun placed a hand on your shoulder to prevent you from getting up and stood up himself

still in shock, you could only watch as he walked away to the table and start conversing with them

“hi, i’m jaehyun. y/n went on her break, so i’ll be taking care of you if you need anything for the rest of the night.”

mentally praising him, you finally picked up the glass and took a sip of water,,,,closing your eyes feeling the refreshing cold liquid run down your throat

you proceeded to gulp the rest down not knowing how long it had been since you consumed anything

when you opened your eyes, you see jaehyun standing in front of you

when he saw your wide eyes he laughed, smoothly taking the check from your apron then making his way back to the table

and then back to you

“we’re closing in a few minutes, but thank you,” you quietly said. “you don’t have to stay any longer, you’re missing a lot of the game right now.”

he shrugged and sat down in the seat next to you. “i’m more of a baseball fan anyway. besides, i always help you close don’t i?”

he gave you another one of his smiles and you didn’t know what else to do but smile back

after a moment of the two of you just looking at each other, the two of you started to clean up after he told chenle and the chef to go home early; he would help you clean up, he didn’t mind

you didnt either

he flipped the sign and the two of you got to work, making small talk as you cleaned

“so jaehyun you like baseball better than football?”

“hmm.”

“good, it’s my favorite sport.”

but then, right as the two of you were walking out, he said something that caught you off guard

“hey, do you wanna go watch the new movie with me?”

stunned, you nearly ran into the door of the diner

“you don’t have to be home yet do you?” he asked without waiting for your answer

you shook your head and that’s all it took for him to grab your hand after locking the diner door

pulling you into his car, he dropped the keys of the diner back into your hand and drove off in the direction of the drive ins

apparently, you still looked stunned because he had to say

“relax, i don’t want you to be freaked out on our first date.”

date?! he said date, freaking you out even more

pulling into the parking lot, jaehyun just laughed before turning the radio to the audio of the movie

even when you were still wearing your clothes from work, a white button up tucked into some red and white checkered pants

your hair half up in a subtle barrette

you still looked more beautiful than anyone had ever seen

the way you worked so hard even when you were already exhausted at the diner, making the customers feel as comfortable as possible

the way a blush rose to your cheeks whenever he smiled at you

you thought he didn’t notice but he did

they way your hands still looked so soft even after all the dishes you had to do and all the plates you had to carry

he had only known you for a few months but there was nothing he wanted more than to take you out and be able to be yours

you were so much more different than all the girls that confessed to him

you were shy, but your facial expression always exposed you

jaehyun knew he was supposed to be watching the movie but he couldn’t focus because all he kept thinking about was whether or not he should hold your hand

“are you okay, jaehyun? your ears are turning red.”

his hands shot up to cover his ears as a sheepish smile showed on his face. he assured you he was fine and you turned your attention back to the screen

he couldn’t help it

you felt a warm hand grab yours and interlace your fingers

your cheeks turned red as you looked at him but the both of you just shyly smiled at each other

letting him hold your hand, you tried to focus back on the movie but you could feel his gaze on you

after a minute or two, you looked back at jaehyun and what you saw made you feel small in your seat

he locked his eyes with yours, looking at you lovingly before dipping his face down to meet yours

as he closed the gap between your lips, your eyes fluttered closed and you felt him bring his left hand up to your neck to tilt your face closer to his

jaehyun started to feel like this was a complete mistake, he shouldn’t have just kissed you so suddenly

until he felt you smile and kiss him back before pulling back

the both of you turned your smiles to your windows, both embarrassed but happy as the two of you finished the movie

outside your house, after he had driven you home, the two of you stood facing each other with your fingers linked

thanking him, you reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth, telling him to take you out on a date again soon

and walked into your house leaving him in shock

because even though you were always hospitable to all the customers, he never expected you to have a sudden burst of confidence

especially when he was already very very flustered by how soft your lips were LOL

❀ posted 190225.