#+ most of the time i'm seeing stuff that aren't there probably HAHA

[heck-theo]

Okokokokok- ignore how rough and messy some of these redraws/sketches are - but it's apparently also dinosaur month?? (WHY did no one ever tell me it's Jurassic June? I love dinosaurs) And like. What if Rise but dinosaurs?!

I don't often post such loose sketches but I wanted to show these off cause I really like some of this.

Design choices and dino species + the reasons I picked them bellow (looking for potential Donnie dino suggestions):

Clothes: Without the shell they really need clothes. They'd all have pretty much the same pants to keep some unity, except maybe Mikey (I decided they should all have the same pants after I finished the Mikey sketches, not sure if I'll keep the shorts or change to pants). Accessories are a mix of pre and post finale.

Raph - I think would keep it simple and practical but would also wear nice jackets and stuff when in casual situations. I need to work on giving him an alternative outfit and tweak his accessories a bit.

Donnie - An oversized pull-over hoodie cause we already know he loves that shit. We see him wearing it all the time. Easy enough. He wears a comfortable singlet underneath so the straps of his battle sail don't rub. Nice soft fabric, tight fit so it doesn't move around, tucks it into his pants, etc. When he wears the battle sail he won't overheat so he can wear hoodies basically all year round.

Leo - He's in one of those shirts with obnoxiously large arm holes and make it cropped cause 1. I think he would 2. I want it to be different from Raph and Donnie's singlets. He usually wears the shoulder strap off his shoulder but pulls it up when he needs to. He has some of the black bandages over his mid drift atm but I might just make his pants super high waisted in the final version. He'd probably wear a bomber jacket (also cropped?) over the top for cool weather, but doesn't like to hide his feathers.

Mikey - I think he'd mostly wear hand me downs when he's younger. He definitely goes through a stage of rebelling and wanting to pick his own and would find a middle ground of appreciating sharing some of his brother's clothes and modifying them, as long as he has the choice of his own available. Not sure if that would be before or after this design. At the moment he's got Raph's old shorts (from a loooong time ago), Leo's old shirt, and Donnie's old zip up hoodie. He does have his own accessories though, including pins instead of stickers.

Dinosaurs: I kept them all as non-avian dinosaurs, AKA not including animals that are colloquially considered dinos but aren't (like pterosaurs). I wanted to keep an even split of herbivore vs carnivore just so one wasn't the odd one out. I wanted to keep most of their body structure, colours and distinguishing features the same as canon. Obviously I added tails cause, yeah, of course haha. I did want them to be recognisable as different species of dino using distinct characteristics that their species is known for. I did ignore a lot of differences though, like size and bipedal vs quadruped (although the quadrupeds might be more likely to go to all fours, especially when fighting or afraid). Leo and Donnie are carnivores so have sharper teeth and claws.

Raph - Some kind of Ceratopsian (likely Triceratops or something very similar) and he was the first idea I had for this and I'm really happy with it. I think it just suits him. Trike Raph just came to me in an unprecedented moment of genius. His spikey frill replicates his spikey shell. His sturdiness, protectiveness and willingness to kick ass when needed, all scream trike to me.

Donnie - Spinosaurus but looking for other species recommendations. More details below: So I wanted to figure out a way for him to have tech with a similar function to his battle shell (in the sense that it's something that helped him in day to day life) and so I went with spino cause one possible theory about a function of spinosaurus' sail is temperature regulation. So his battle sail has heating/cooling systems as well as other tech. A spino's sail was probably not fragile but the battle sail would also help protect it from being targeted during fights or crushed during extreme impacts. It was also thought to be used for display, and what's more of a display than a battle sail? The only problem I have with this is that it's lacking part of what makes Donnie's battle shell so great, which is that it is essentially a prosthetic. Not quite the same as how prosthetics are used in people of course, just in the sense that it is replicating the functionality of a body part that he doesn't have (I can't think of a better word). Well he does have a shell but it doesn't function in the same way that his brothers shells do, which leaves him with less defense than they have, hence a big reason for the battle shell (I hope I explained this well, it was hard to try and word properly). I can't think of a good way to do this with dinos. I was thinking of a carno or something with tiny arms, then Donnie could have tech enhanced arms but I'm pretty much ignoring body structure in the others so it would be weird to have just Donnie be affected by a difference in limb structure/functionality. I was thinking prosthetic tail but every non avian dinosaur had a pretty substantial tail. Except therizinosaurus but even they hade pretty obvious tails. I'm open to suggestions for this one if anyone has ideas. It does have to be an extinct non-avian dinosaur (anything not in Avialae), preferably carnivore but if someone suggests a really good herbivore or omnivore then I can try and swap Mikey for a carnivore. I want there to be an even split. I also wanted to give him something different on his face, like his brothers, and that could only be a little spino crest and it crowds the top of his head but I can't put it anywhere else...

Leo - A type of Dromaeosaur. I was tossing up between this and a dilophosaur where his red stripes were part of the dilo's crest, cause I wasn't sure about giving him feathers. But dilo Leo was so plain compared to the rest and the crests were hard to get looking right so I went back to raptor Leo. I can definitely imagine him literally and metaphorically preening his feathers too. You can't really see it but he does also have that big raptor claw. Raptors were smart, tactical and worked in packs so I think that suits him. I wasn't specifically referencing how some artists draw Leo's stripes coming off his face (I was just trying to replicate his stripes somehow, even though it doesn't make a huge amount of sense) but I realised afterwards that it kinda looks like that and might have been subconsciously inspired by it.

Mikey - Is an Ankylosaur. I'm pretty happy with the species but I need to work out the design of his armour plating so that it looks interesting, cool and protective but isn't too chunky, too pointy or super lumpy looking. I went with an anky cause Mikey is often hiding in his shell and he can't do the same here but he could curl up in a defensive ball. Plus I could imagine him using his tail club in his razzmatazz fighting style. A little like his kusari-fundo or nunchacku/nunchucks (not sure on proper wording).

[demon-country]

I'm kind of surprised that this isn't a more common opinion, but I really do think that Blitz started coming over way more often than just the full moon for sex and also that he started staying the whole night as time went on. Like, even if you want to claim that Stolas doesn't love Blitz, he only loves the idea of being loved - which I highly disagree with - Blitz ain't that kinda person. He doesn't catch feelings after only like, what, 12-ish days spent having marathon long sex, and a couple of times spent being vaguely together in public? Ain't no way, Blitz is too guarded for that, and even though BDSM breeds a lot of trust just by virtue of it being about trust more than it is about sex, there's no way those things alone would make Blitz start to fall in love enough that he lists Stolas among the people he doesn't want to live without and die alone, or enough to do literally all of The Full Moon and Apology Tour.

On Stolas' phone there is also a picture of a horse that Blitz drew, laid on Stolas' bed, showing that Blitz felt comfortable enough at Stolas' palace and in Stolas' company that he was willing to draw Stolas a horse. That speaks of intimacy, that speaks of familiarity, and that speaks of trust that Blitz would share something he loves doing with Stolas. It also speaks of them having the time to do things other than sex when he comes over.

Now, to be fair, Blitz himself says that Stolas liked to do things like call him a lot to ask about his day and whatnot, and liked his sinstagram posts all the time. And while their now-defunct official Instagram posts aren't strictly canon, Viv did say that the stuff there was true to what the characters might do. So if we take what Blitz said in Oops and applied it to something Blitz posted on his sinstagram account, then Blitz used to book out an entire hour on his daily schedule just to talk on the phone with Stolas. Spending an hour or even half an hour almost every single work day for around a year and regularly talking on sinstagram is definitely significant and would also foster familiarity and plant the seed that Stolas does care for him, even if Blitz's self-hatred and Stolas' more unfortunate comments prevented him from truly believing it.

But I don't think it'd stop with that. Sex is the only way Blitz feels he can really spend time together with Stolas, and it's the only thing he knows for certain that Stolas wants from him and is always down for. If he was catching feelings - and Ozzie's, The Full Moon, and Apology Tour all show that he most definitely was -, he'd start desiring to be around Stolas more often, which would almost definitely lead to him making excuses to come over and have sex.

Of course, he couldn't just admit that even to himself, so he probably would have excused it to himself as something like being too busy to find someone else to sleep with. Oh you know he's just so busy with work and taking care of Loona, and going out to find a fling when he has a perfectly willing booty call he can go see basically whenever he wants is just way less convenient. Why put in the extra work finding someone he's interested in when Stolas is a smoking hot great lay who's down to do pretty much anything and everything? Not that it means anything though! He could totally go get someone else if he wanted to, he just... doesn't. Because he's too busy for that, of course.

And why go to some rando's place if he's just gonna have to get up and leave right after? With Stolas he can stay the night in a giant ass, comfy as fuck bed (with a super soft, super snuggly bird. Uh, not that he cares about that though! It's certainly not like he's touch starved or anything, haha no of course not that'd be crazy! >_>), and in the morning if he sticks around long enough he can either get another round in or some fancy brand coffee.

Like, that's all just an example of how he might explain it to himself, but however he actually did, I'm of the opinion that he used to not stay the night, but most of the time by the end of it he did. Blitz doesn't fall quickly, but once he does he falls hard, and given how desperately he clings to Stolas in The Full Moon and Apology Tour, I'm not sure if he'd be able to stop himself from spending whatever time he could make excuses for with Stolas. The only reason he doesn't post-Ozzie's is because of Stolas' supposed rejection and, after Western Energy, because he feels unworthy of it and is scared of what his perceived failure to protect Stolas might have changed.

That's how I see it, anyway. But I guess it's a pretty unpopular opinion? This got way longer than I thought it would...

[markantonys]

I truly think WoT is a well written, well acted show but you never see praise for it like that from most of the fandom (unless I'm following the wrong people). You see people praising GoT and HoTD like it's the best thing ever when I'm bored most of the time. Never anything similar said for WoT. I hope it does make it big in following seasons and gets more appreciation cause I truly think the show is underrated

i haven't seen GOT or HOTD so i can't speak to any comparisons there, but i agree that WOT is underrated! it feels like most of the viewership is either casuals who aren't Online About It and hardcore book fans who spend all their energy discussing book vs. show topics - not always in a negative way, i'm also including in here the show-positive discussions about improvements on the books or speculation for future seasons, but even these discussions are so rooted in book vs. show land that not a lot of people stop to discuss the show in a vacuum. it's often about "how is it similar to and different from the books?" and rarely about appreciating the show as its own standalone work.

which i think could be a difference with GOT and HOTD, they probably have a larger number of hardcore show-only fans who are Online About It discussing show-only things in detail such as writing and acting, whereas in my personal experience, WOT online fandom spaces are VERY dominated by book fans and they aren't talking as much about show-only things, or when they do, it's just to mistake "i personally don't like this change from the books" for "this is objectively bad writing and everybody who has ever watched the show agrees that the writing of the entire show is bad" lmao WOT reader fandom spaces have a reeeeaaaally skewed sense of the quality of the show's writing because they can't let go of their "similar to the books=good writing, different from the books=bad writing" baggage and also because they struggle to understand that good writing For TV is often very different from good writing For Books.

there's definitely also at play the societal tendency to praise miseryporn and characters who are terrible people as the creme de la creme of writing and acting. WOT has trauma and misery, but doesn't revel in it in a gratuitous way, and it has very flawed and complex characters, but the protagonists are all ultimately good people. it's a hopeful and uplifting story at its core and a story that wholeheartedly embraces its fantastical elements and wants to bring a sense of fun and escapism to viewers alongside the deep emotional stuff, and those are rarely taken as seriously as gritty cynical stories. hence, WOT is not viewed as a ~serious~ show worthy of having its acting & writing praised in the same way that GOT and HOTD are.

but WOT does do pretty good viewership numbers despite being kinda under the radar in the cultural consciousness, i think. i could see it gaining more attention in upcoming seasons as we enter the territory of the books that most people agree is the best portion of the series, and if they are finally able to do a proper promo cycle for s3 and beyond. from what i've seen, prime shows are never anywhere close to the level of promo netflix shows do (which is TOO much in some cases, rip to the poor bridgerton cast having to do about five thousand hours of interviews for s3), but WOT s1 came out during the covid zoom interview era and s2 came out during the strikes, so it's not hard to imagine that those 2 promo cycles might've been unusually low even for prime's standards and s3 might have a bit more. we shall see!

but at the end of the day, it's also kinda nice keeping wotshow as a hidden gem because greater online fandom attention would also mean an increase in insufferable takes haha i often find that smaller fandoms are a much more pleasant atmosphere than bigger ones!

[mixes-archive]

👀👀 can I request what könig would do on the battlefield with his s/o and how he would act? or headcanons as to how he'd act if his s/o knew how to speak and write German 👉👈

König on the battlefield Headcanons

Hello there! Those are some really good prompts, I just might make the other one too haha^^ Hope you enjoy!

We all know this man does a complete 180

König never really wanted you to see this side of him, so he tried his best to either completely avoid going on missions with you or keeping a large amount of distance

It bothered you a lot and when you finally confronted him, he couldn't stop apologizing

"Oh Schatz, wenn ich gewusst hätte, dass es dir weh tut hätte ichs dir von Anfang an erklärt."¹

After he explained himself, you just kinda laughed and said you knew how he acted on the battlefield and that you found it kind of funny

Bro when I tell you this man was SHOCKED

So, when you actually do end up going on the battlefield together a few days later, man's stuck by your side the entire time

He was like his usual self in the beginning, but as soon as he shot the first enemy down and he said his iconic line "pick your guts off the floor", it was like a switch had flipped in his head

You finally got to witness him dropping the Hochdeutsch and switching to true austrian german (if you aren't familiar with it, I recommend looking it up on YouTube or TikTok)

"Di oaschlöcher geben net auf" "Soiche voitrottln gibts" "Kum scho Schatz, mach mas fertig"²

If you weren't familiar with this way of talking, it's safe to say you'd be surprised

Also most likely understand even less than when he was speaking german

König would also become much more confident romantically

Has never flirted this much with you before

The stuff he says would border on douchey if he wasn't in a relationship with you

Probably definitely slapped your ass too tbh

He isn't directing any insults at you, but he is being less polite when it comes to correcting your stance/grip or lectures you when you narrowly avoided getting shot

Very protective

"Get out of there, Dirndl! It's too dangerous, I'm coming to pick you up right now."

If you got separated, he would be contacting you every few seconds just to check if you're alive

God help your enemies if you get injured at all

"Where did that scrape come from?" "Relax babe, I just cut my cheek on a branch!" "I will make them pay."

You need to tell him to chill or else this man will continue bugging you until you get home, and then some

Checks on you after missions, constantly asking if you're injured or if you're okay

König becomes a big baby once you get home lmao

Will cuddle you to hell and back (and might hug you so tight you can't breathe)

Honestly, he's just relieved you both made it out alive

¹ "Oh treasure (Schatz is used like 'honey', but this is a direct translation) if I had known that it hurt you, I would've explained it to you from the beginning"

² "Those assholes aren't quitting" "Idiots like that exist" "Come on treasure, let's finish them"

[midnightluck]

i am BEGGING you for those aventurine essays he is legit my fav star rail character

WELCOME TO MY NEW FAVORITE PIT IT'S BEAUTIFUL HERE.

Current essays (full of spoilers) I have already written out:

Why Aventurine is Preservation path and why he doesn't lose (see below)

An analysis of Ratio and Aventurine's interactions on Penacony

An analysis of Aventurine's planning and execution of said plan for 2.1

Why Avigen are Rom-coded and how Aventurine uses his own culture to hurt himself

Aventurine and the Masked Fools

Essays I have not written but intend to:

The incredible level of self-loathing it takes to call yourself a luck build when you only ever gamble against yourself and the inability to trust that it creates

The difference between stage magic and flourishwork and an analysis of the techniques and props he uses, including why he prefers roulette to cards

Presentation!!! The way he dresses and moves and uses his reputation as a weapon

Topaz and Aventurine's friendship and why they would never call each other friends

Literally anything people wanna know about him

That said, let's get started on why, exactly, Aventurine could never be anything but Preservation. SPOILERS!!!!

OKAY so let's discuss

I would like to begin by reminding you that Qlipoth is a Aeon of "patient, sacrificial, and protective actions", and I don't think I need to go into why Aventurine is the first two BUT I'M GONNA.

Patient--yes, duh. The amount of time it takes to set up stuff behind the scenes before you can even announce a performance--we've seen this from him already. He called Topaz directly after we left Belobog for her help specifically, which we can now assume was him asking to borrow her stone. This means that he had his plan already developed months in advance, and this is confirmed by him sighing over how long it took him to book this specific room in the hotel. Aventurine is patient in that most deadly of ways, the focused strategist mixed with the cunning tactician. He gets impatient, we've seen, but in that anticipatory way that comes from the fizzle of excitement in your veins before a performance, the jitters that aren't quite stage fright but aren't quite excitement, when your blood feels carbonated and your stomach flips because you know it's all in place, you know you've got this, but what if, what if-- and even in the face of that, he's patient.

Sacrificial let's take in two ways. Does he sacrifice? Yes, this man refuses to stop, refuses to accept peace, refuses to settle. He's giving up his own happiness because he knows that happiness isn't for the likes of him and he knows this so deeply he's never even bothered to want it. Aventurine isn't happy, he's unsettled in the most literal way, and he's unbothered by it because he isn't chasing a dream. He's not working toward an ambition, he's not after a goal; he's just living because he isn't dead yet, because he refuses to give up and lay down. He is the embodiment of "because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me," and is, in other words, #relatable to millenials haha.

He's also sacrificial. As a child of ritual, of expectation, and of the embodiment of hope, Kakavasha was born to be the hope of his people and he never got a say in it. He now carries their entire weight and culture on his shoulders because he's the only Avigen on the universal stage, and it hurts more because he barely even had time to truly learn what that culture was before it was taken from him. He probably considers his continued life as penance, as sacrifice, as the payment for his luck which didn't even help anyone he loved anyway.

And then we get to the hard one because people define protective in a very, uh, selfless context mostly? But it's not, or not only that. Aventurine is very protective; he's protective of his past, of his secrets, of his plans, of that which is his. (Sidenote here: money isn't his. Money is a resource, easily gotten, easily spent; gold and jewels and even status are ephemeral. We see this in that fucking bit of dialogue I LOVE ("I can, and it will be flawless" YAS KING IT SURE THE FUCK WILL!!!!), that he doesn't care for the treasure or the mystery, that he's after the role, the action, the thrill of being right, of wagering his life on the bet that he's right and that it's not death that awaits him.

So that's why he's Preservation, is because he could never be anything else. He's not driven, so it can't be Hunt, and he's not careless and instinctive, so no Elation (ask me about his relationship with Masked Fools sometime, I have THOUGHTS). He doesn't seek pain or to sacrifice for others and his wrath is very focused, so no Destruction, and he's not Abundance by any means, and Harmony is out because that's cooperative and unifying and he can't trust. Remeberance is restraint and he doesn't have that, and Nihility is for those who have given up on something, and Aven hasn't, he can't let his past go like Welt has, and all that leaves is Erudition. It suits him but it's offensive, and he isn't, is he, he's so internally focused on playing his little games against himself that he doesn't seek out multiple targets, and also he's not coldly detached; he's powered by self-loathing and that doesn't jive with Erudition, which is reliant on chosen loyalty and seeking.

IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: self-loathing is not self-destructive. Self-esteem and self-worth are not the same thing, and you can hate yourself just fine while still seeing value in what you do. Speaking of which, let's examine that thing he do, which is just straight up setting up giant convoluted plans in order to specifically bet his life on things. HERE'S WHY.

If you bet money and you lose, then you lose, and Aventurine doesn't lose. Aventurine goes for the high stakes, high risk shit because of the risk, because of the stakes. He's chasing death in an abstracted kind of way; he doesn't want to die, but he doesn't value his life and there's not much worth living for anyway. He's also, as previously stated, the only embodiment of his culture, so he can't lose without it reflecting on...everyone, even if they're all dead. The only respectable way he can die as an Avigen is to die in a gamble.

So any gamble with his life on the line is win-win, and god isn't that adrenaline rush of standing on the ledge and jumping good, doesn't that make his pulse pound and his lungs stutter and his fingers shake, in a way that he can feel, physically, that he can know is him, is only him, alive, reliant on his own power, his own fate, his own skill, and on his luck--

Because that's the thing, isn't it, is Aventurine is lucky, but not in the way Kakavasha was. As a kid, he relied on his luck; after it betrayed him (by leaving him the only one left), he doesn't rely on it anymore. He uses it. He puts in time and patience and skill, and he stacks the deck and sets the dice and gambles that he is smart enough to have anticipated it. He's betting that he's prepared enough to weather the uncertainty. Aventurine isn't playing against us, or Ratio, or Penacony; the only one he's ever really betting against is himself.

[corn-fanfiction]

SAVIOUR COMPLEX (PT. 3)

(Pt 2)

Rating: M

TAGS: language/frightening scenes including stalking/hangovers/implied past abuse/Mark Hoffman being a c*p/reader is normal and likes to do normal things/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a cop

"Sure you don't need sunglasses?"

You shield your eyes from the garish sun that punishes you from the window beside you.

"Shut up," you mutter. You're letting the smell of your coffee settle before trying to drink it. Mark, on the other hand, is halfway through his second cup and eating breakfast.

The tinny sounds of the cafe are ringing in your ears and pounding against your skull. You groan.

"I'm fuckin' glad you stopped me when you did," you admit.

"I woulda let you go all night if I wasn't directly overseeing your safety."

"Good to know."

"Aren't you gonna order?"

"Do you want to see me throw up all of yesterday onto this freshly mopped floor? It's a near trick- I use it at parties."

"A simple 'no' woulda sufficed."

"Toast. I need toast."

If you'd had your head up, you would've seen Mark wave over a waiter. He clears his throat and you lift your face from where it rests on your palms.

"Oh. Um, two slices of white toast, please, with butter and jelly."

The waiter nods, says it'll be a couple minutes, then leaves. You don't have it in yourself to lay your head back down.

"Why'd you drag me out here?" You mumble.

"You don't like breakfast?"

You glare at him.

"Alright, fine. Just wanted to let you know that, if all goes well for the next week, you'll be rid of me. Got the update this morning."

You perk up a little. "Does that mean the Jigsaw killer stopped?"

Mark chuckles. "That is proprietary information. All you need to know is that they think you're safe enough to not need me."

You watch him eat. You've always considered it one of the most vulnerable states a person can be in. If someone eats in front of you, they trust you, at least a little. You notice the way his jaw ticks, his hair falling in his face every so often. He really is quite handsome, and in a different timeline you'd probably be attracted to his arrogant personality. But definitely not here. Not now.

The waiter brings your toast and you start it slowly, but soon are consuming it with little thought to your stomach.

"Any big plans for the day?" He asks.

"Well, I don't have work. Probably go running, read, grocery shop. Regular, boring stuff. Why? You wanna do the domestics with me?" You joke. Mark shrugs.

"Hey, sounds to me like looking after you is like a day off. Where do you run?"

You stare at him, your mouth hanging open in a way that is, frankly, embarrassing. He looks at you in confusion.

"What?"

You shake yourself out of the stupor.

"The park off 7th. It has a track back in the woods."

"Damn, you're really trying to put yourself in the most vulnerable positions."

You sigh in exasperation. "It's the same shit I've always done-"

"I'm just joking."

"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny," you mutter. Mark deadpans.

"Haha."

True to his word, Hoffman shows up to the walking trail at the park...and he's in running gear. He's in a sleeveless hoodie and basketball shorts. The only thing he's missing is a sweatband.

And you. You nearly piss yourself laughing.

"Holy shit!"

"Thought you'd get a kick out of it."

"Aw, did you get all dolled up for me?" You say between snorts.

"I'm not jogging in a suit," he remarks, now frowning at your comments.

"Are the tags still on it?"

"You know I can leave you out here."

"Then it'd be time to update your resume."

You two begin with a brisk walk that turns to a jog. You go like this for about ten minutes of uninterrupted silence until you come to a pond.

"Hey, I always stop here. Wanna sit?"

Your both out of breath and Mark merely nods as you both plant yourselves on a bench. You take a moment to relish in the warm breeze as it passes over your skin and through the thick pines above.

"Why here?"

Mark's voice breaks you from your reverie.

"It started as a place to go to feel safe. Now it just feels familiar. It's my favorite place besides home."

"You felt unsafe?"

You give him a tight lipped smile. "Haven't we all? Besides. I'm moving on."

It's not untrue. But your words carry a sense of space and time. You have neither.

You're almost disappointed when Mark doesn't do the grocery routine with you. You think of all the opportunities it would give for you to poke fun at him and him do the same to you.

He's nicer than you had expected, for a cop. He can be a pain in the ass, usually is, but he also seems to have your best interest at heart. He's laid back (maybe more than he should be) now that you're not constantly antagonizing him.

All in all, it's growing more bearable.

You even sleep better, knowing that there's someone who's got your back.

You hadn't told them everything. You do like Mark's company, his watchfulness.

You're laying in bed. It's 1 am and you're still awake, but only because you'd finally managed to start a consistent patch on your knitting. The only lighting is the lamps which you know is bad on your eyes, but you like the dimness. It's where you feel at peace.

You don't see it at first. You're looking up to catch a glimpse at the tv, playing some late night crime drama, when you notice something out of the corner of your eye. It's the window at the end of your room.

There's no question or no hesitation. They're eyes. And they're staring right at you.

At first, you don't move, as if it's dinosaur rules. Like those eyes will forget you. Then they blink, and they're gone.

You shoot out of your bed and nab your phone from the nightstand, pressing 3, for Mark's speed dial number. After a few rings at a nail biting pace, he answers.

"Hello?"

You lock your bedroom door and sit with your back to it.

"Someone's outside my apartment."

"What? You sure?"

"Of course I'm fucking sure! He was outside my window. Jesus, Mark, please get here."

"Alright alright, I'm on my way. Call the police too, just to be safe. Make sure your doors are locked."

"Okay. Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Mark? Hurry. Please."

You hang up and clutch the phone to your chest. You debate sprinting to the kitchen for the knife but you can't move. The idea that you may not have locked your front door haunts the back of your mind.

Time is meaningless and empty as you sit. However long it's been, you hear a pounding on your front door. Your bones are solid concrete and don't allow you to move. Eventually, the banging stops.

Then, a face at your window. You scream.

"Y/n!"

It's a muffled sound for the glass but you know the voice isn't the one you fear. Mark's outside. You scramble up, throw open your bedroom door, and unlock the front door. Mark's hands find your shoulders as you hyperventilate.

"Oh my god, Mark."

You're crying. You're sobbing.

"You're alright. You're safe."

No, you were not alright or safe. He had been outside your window. He knows where you live.

A pained sound escapes you and you clutch onto Mark's jacket before falling into him. If you had your wits about you, embarrassment for relying on him so vulnerably would seize you. But instead he guides you inside, closing the door behind you, as you shake with your sobs. He sits you on the couch, then leaves, then returns with a glass of water. But you can't hold it without spilling it everywhere.

"What did he look like?"

What do you say?

"Um...I didn't see him."

Mark's hold on your forearm, barely perceptibly, tightens.

"At all?"

You shake your head and your eyes burn.

"No."

"I was just outside your window. With the lighting available and the surrounding area, it's almost impossible to have not seen him. So, what aren't you telling me?"

You very quickly realize how close you are to him, the way his body cages you against the couch. A man easily twice your size, a cop, with a gun, is towering over you.

You stand and shake out your hands. Mark watches you.

"How long until the cops get here?"

"Any minute. I made another call on the way here."

You slow, look at him.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

His eyes narrow at you.

"I was out on another call. What's your point?"

"Nothing." You shake your head again and hold your arms, pacing back and forth. He stands from the sofa. When he does, you flinch.

At this, he freezes.

"Y/n..."

He takes another step forward. You step back.

"Okay. I understand. But you're safe. You're okay."

You scowl. "I don't fucking feel okay. Right now I'm alone and vulnerable with a cop that I know doesn't play by the book."

"What happened to you wanting me here?"

"I don't know. What happened to you making me feel safe?"

"Feel has nothing to do with it. You're safe right now; I'm doing my job."

You're both still, and you dare not to breathe until you hear the sirens tearing down the street. Mark sighs out his nose and goes through the front door to greet the police. You sit on the couch. Your whole body feels cold.

He has a point. What did happen to that trust? Did it suddenly melt away?

But you know. Your trust has snapped. It was tenuous to begin with. That's not your fault. If he was really good at his job, he should've clocked it by now. You're a textbook case.

Other police come in to get your statements. Someone suggests that Hoffman stay the night, or that you get taken to a safe house, but you insist upon neither. You'd really hate to have a repeat of earlier, but you can't stand to leave right now, nor are you totally comfortable with Hoffman in the house with you. They all decide to have a couple officers post up outside for the remainder of the evening.

"Well," Hoffman huffs at the door. "Let me know if you need anything else. Though I doubt you will."

A small drip of guilt tugs at your gut but you wave it away. You're so tired.

"Right," you say, tapping on the doorframe.

"Just remember. I've done nothing but help you. And I don't appreciate you all but making accusations against me."

Danger pricks at the back of your neck. "You're not making a great care for yourself right now."

Mark inhales, stiffens, then relaxes as though he's made up his mind about something.

"Right. Well, get some sleep. Maybe close your curtains."

You slam the door behind him and lock it. You return to your room and cuddle up into bed, but despite your exhaustion, you can't sleep. And even though you can't think about Hoffman, you take his advice about the curtains. But you can't turn away from the window either. So you stare at the ceiling. Think about tomorrow. You know you'll be called into the station. You know you'll have to face Hoffman.

You can't quite get a read on him. Only hours ago were you having a genuine connection with him. He responded immediately to your call and came to your side. And yet...

He's an intense man; there's no denying it. But if you can't get a grip on it, you'll drown under its weight.

So is it him? Or is it your own mind betraying you? Sabotaging your connection with another man, even as an acquaintance?

Before you know it, the sun has come up. You get a shower and dress as normal. You eat breakfast. You take the call to the station as normal. You leave your apartment, heart sinking when Hoffman's car is absent, and you try to walk to the main road for a cab as normal. But nothing about this is normal because he's seen you and you've seen him.

And you're beginning to think you'll never have a normal day again.

[tsururoach]

EXCUSE ME I RECENTLY DISCOVERED VOCALOIDS AND IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE WITH OLIVER /p

thank you for blessing us with ur Oliver art <3 he needs more love fr. and more happy songs.

i just got here so im not sure if you've mentioned it before, but do you have a fav Oliver song? :3

I'm glad you like my art of him! I've been drawing him for 9-ish years now, but it's always nice to hear other fans of his also like my art! I don't actually talk to a lot of Oliver fans haha.

I always really really admired Dappleback/Lawlietlk's designing skill, and I had a whole presentation how much I appreciated his character design and how it lead back into why I think as a vocaloid he has one of the best designs.

Like don't get me wrong, Vocaloid (and other synths) have really good designs, just sometimes they aren't necessarily as good as Vocaloid designs y'know?

Like hear me out, I feel like the biggest appeal of vocaloid mascots is this: They can be whatever you want. Now on one hand you can argue that 'no mascot' is even Moreso freedom and should have worked better than mascot, but what's missing is the intrigue. There is a breeding ground of creativity hidden beneath restriction.

Like, often enough what people need most in order to create something is just a guideline, and for me that's what Oliver offers. Like, sometimes, too much canon is a bad thing, and people need to remember that.

The #1 selling point of Oliver's design is the intrigue his design offers. There's so much of it that once changed loses that 'space of expression.' And yet, no matter how much you are able to change, he also is able to maintain that 'constant' that lets you know that yes, that is still him, even if you change it. I don't have it anymore but it's been years, but I had a whole chart explaining it.

Over the years Oliver has gotten a lot of motifs and concepts assigned to him, that only derive from smaller aspects of his designs, for example: His bandages.

While you may argue it's not entirely unique, that is exactly the beauty of it. It's because of that so many different concepts stem from it.

One of the biggest themes correlated with Oliver is a monster/horror theme and you have the bandages to thank for it. The amount of concepts I've seen born from the sheer mystery of his bandages were so vast it's crazy. Whether it's because he's a cryptid/monster/cursed or otherwise, people are forced to make an effort to use that "why?"

And on the flip side, there is other mysteries people find from his bandages that aren't horror, they're instead going for something else: A poor waif, a vigilante, a witch, and etc. Through the simple [why], Oliver becomes limitless.

And while we're still discussing his bandages, there is elsewhere you can find beauty in his design. I know a lot of his fans are or were children when they became fans of him, and I know for a fact that some of them related to his design. It's not like he had much to go against them in thinking that-- and it's not just because of his song. For me as a child I projected onto him as a (character) as someone I could relate to. That's uh, probably why a lot of people tend to use him for horror or darker stuff. I know that some people are... unsavory, but that's why I don't really like when people hate on horror content made from him. I know a lot of people are weird about him, but it's a form of self-expression all the same.

Even aside from his bandages, his design still manages to offer intrigue. While Miku allows herself to be a blank canvas (being a mascot with very little ties, a digital idol who represents exactly that) Oliver is more like... a puzzle? Except there is no wrong answer and every time you put it together, it's always different.

There was a lot of misconceptions around his design, but Oliver was based off choirboy outfits-- not that everyone knew that. A lot of people interpreted it as a sailor outfit with nautical themes. That's why you can often see Oliver with sea-themed artworks or songs and/or if it's still around, sea-side waif depictions of him. But on the other side, there were quite a few interpretations of Oliver as a time-traveler- a noble- or hell: a literal bird boy.

Had he been given a more generic design, a more modern one, a more idol-esque version of himself, most of these interpretations of him would not exist. There would be less incentive for people to create that answer without the "why."

I don't really have a proper ranking on a more 'objective' ranking of designs as vocaloid specific mascot designs, but I feel like it's somewhat similar to... actual popularity?

Like... If i had to separate them, there's three categories in a venn diagram: Just straight up Good design (though I'd argue a lot of the other two would still fit in here), Fill-in the blank design, and blank canvas design.

I would say the OG Miku fits in all 3 categories but has been erring into just good design or her own category: too engrained into pop culture to fail.

Fukase is a good example of a Fill-in design, because he also has the classic "why" to his design. (Why is his coat like that? why does he have scars? is he human? is he a robot? Is he circus themed? Who knows?) You can see a lot of exploration of his character through that.

Vflower I feel like is primarily in the blank canvas design, because she more-so encompasses a certain fashion style and is able to attract the blank canvas of gender expression as well.

At the moment, to be honest, I can't really think of someone who only fit's in the straight up good character design but doesn't offer any mystery or fluidity, but that might just be my personality.

To be entirely clear, this venn diagram is probably closer to just a single circle instead of 3, but I'm mostly talking about which part of their design they align most with. (and the most common consensus of how to interpret them.

To be honest this is probably why I feel a bit like a Fake Oliver fan, bc I care more about his design more than his voicebank itself. (Sweats as I look at the vocaloid editor on my computer)

Man. Favorite Oliver song is tough.

Favorite Usage

I'll only be mentioning the publicly released songs using him, since it's a bit unfair if I recommend you something you either have no access to or I'm unable to find again.

To be honest I'm not a huge fan of some of Oliver's most known producers, mostly because I know they're not great people and refuse to support them. It's none of my business if you still listen to them, but I'd rather not. But, It's nice going down my old masterlist of Oliver originals.

I really like Rawbeans-P, if you ever heard her usage of Oliver, it's crazy stunning. Probably some of the best usage of him you'll ever hear.

Cat in a raincloud I know is relatively popular among my friends that I've pushed Robyn's music onto.

I feel like high up there is also Corasundae, who is honestly has a pretty refreshing (?) song-making style. I'm really not a music guy- meaning I never learnt a lot of terms properly and can't describe a lot of things to you, but I really like the general sound that corasundae uses in her works.

I think T.V.V.S is a pretty iconic song, but I'm emotionally attached to Other Side.

One of the songs I see people rarely talking about is Requiescat in Pace- I get it's probably because it's an older song, but I've always liked how it sounded and was a staple for me as a kid (and still fairly fresh into Vocaloid.) I don't think PARADIGM really released much else, but this song is sooo cool, I think about it a lot!

I'm not sure if you don't like horror, or just disappointed that it's a majority of his songs, but I don't think it's leaning too much into horror? It's really good though!

Another one of my favorite Vocaloid producers (the one I bought a keychain from as well!) is Veran Kuriensu! I found them originally from their original Lay, and it's possibly still one of my favorite Vocaloid Oliver Originals still to this day. While it's my favorite, I do know that they've improved drastically and their other works with Oliver is crazy good, but Lay has a special spot to me and makes me feel especially Nostalgic.

I've always liked how the lyrics sounded as well. I think otherwise my second favorite song from them is 星をあつめに. It's really good I Promise. Please please do give their stuff a chance!!

I feel like another producer I'd recommend for similar reasons to Rawbeans-P is Baggagelizard. He's always forever been kind of a legend to me! He's a super cool guy, and he has really good usage of Oliver's voicebank as well. One of my favorite songs he's done is Song for the forgotten, which was even my Oliver Collab piece back in like... 2016? That's honestly a bit crazy to me seeing how long it's been.

Baggagelizard tends to have such a special sound to the music he makes, I think it's kind of... a morose wistfulness? If you're into this one, I genuinely hope you check out his other works as well!

Actually I'm adding this one, because I really like the atmosphere of it! It's called Tavern and it's a really fun song using Big Al, Oliver, and Kaito and I think it's such a fun song! Apparently other Oliver fans I've recommended it said it wasn't their cup of tea though (′д｀σ)σ.

OH and how could I forget: Childhood Bye-Bye is honestly borderline a classic for me! I think it's a really iconic song, but it always surprises me that it's not as popular as I think it is. The producers other works are also really good!

Oooh, another Producer I can recommend is Compasscat! They use Uni, SeeU, and sometimes Oliver (maybe other vocaloids but I'm actually writing this in class (lol). You should try checking them out! I think I enjoyed it but I've been told the things I like are... different from how other people like things.

Actually, on the thought of not-so dark songs using Oliver, I hardly see any Oliver fans (or Yohioloid) fans talking about Yellow Card. I hadn't listened to it for years, but I still think it's pretty fun to this day, you could try checking it out if you feel like it. While we're at it, I'll add a bunch of special mentions for songs I knew were fairly liked enough when I was deeper into vocaloid but never see people talk about anymore as well. To be honest, I'd have a lot more to add to this list, but a lot of Oliver Originals I really liked are deleted or missing.... I understand it's at the producer's own discretion, but it's a little sad.

Unfortunately, A lot of the Bilibili/Niconico songs that I really liked were deleted or really really hard to access/find, but I'll reblog if I find them again.

[yuesya]

We've met a good chunk of the high schoolers in twins au but we still haven't met Tsumiki yet, so I'm going to just ask, coma or not? Or is she just attending a regular civilian one? I wonder if her brother keeps her updated about their progress on the Two Mysteries.

Topic shift to mother au but the ask from a couple days ago about dancing has me wondering. I know Shiki would be very caring and attentive towards Satoru as he grew up but Shiki's standards aren't like most parents and neither is her work schedule. I can imagine that he treasures whatever time he gets to spend with her.

This leads me to believe that one of the ways they spent time together would be Shiki teaching Satoru to dance. While dancing itself isn't directly correlated with power the way other things might be, a noted aspect of Shiki's fighting style, her grace and total control over her body, comes from dancing. Satoru definitely wouldn't care about the "backlash" from the elders his mom is awesome and he wants to fight like her.

I'm just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks but I think this would be sweet.

In the twins AU Tsumiki would be going to a regular school. The coma never happens! I'd imagine that she's also invested in the Two Great Mysterious that her brother is losing his mind over haha.

In the mother AU... to be honest, I can see Shiki taking Satoru along with her on her missions, especially after a few close calls where people try to take advantage of Shiki's absence to act up. Shiki is the Strongest, and Satoru will be safest with her.

Satoru probably ends up being a really well-traveled kid, also very well-acquainted with globe-trotting Tsukumo.

Dancing! Now I'm imagining a scene where Geto, from a regular civilian background, asks Gojo for tips on how to work on his rather lacking combat skills, and Gojo just goes 'Dancing is great, have you tried dancing?' while Geto's reaction is, '...??'

[the-brash-spud]

Honestly, if I ever got Isekaied into a DC universe I'd do so much silly stuff.

Start a podcast that swings between 'true heartfelt spoken letters to what makes a hero in my heart and what struggles they may have, but they continue for us' and conspiracy theories that are so incredibly incorrect the heroes publicly beg me to stop. And I mean stuff like claiming aliens aren't real, but Batman is a cryptid. I would do them at random with no way of telling, which is which until you listened in and found out for yourself.

Cause chaos in Gotham by openly talking shit about villains/companies/individuals who deserve it. Start with Joker just to hope mf will track me down just so I can show him the yee old fuck around and find out. If there happens to be one of the Riddlers plans that I remember, imma get my ass purposefully kidnapped and solve the whole bitch before he had any real fun and then if I know that bats can hear me snitch the location. If it happens to be in the current comic time, track Jason's ass down and flirt with him with the most unhinged pickup lines I can think of (he is in my age range, and oh lord, have you seen him? I don’t expect him to actually be interested in any romance back, but I'd still have a good time). Tell Bruce I know his secret then say that lowkey if Batman was my age I'd also sleep with him but don't make enough to be a sugar mama.

Refuse any interviews until the daily planet sends someone and then be like "me no likey that person 🥺👉👈" until they send Clark and then talk really ungodly things about Superman before the real interview, then say something like "honestly of you stood straighter and lost glasses you probably could be him but that would be just silly haha. Imagine if I just said all that right to Superman himself." All casually just to watch him try to laugh it off as he dies inside.

Say to Oliver that his beard reminds me of Green Arrow's beard. How they generally seem to have similar personalities in a way that would make them great bros if they ever got to meet. Tell Flash to stop fucking jumping between universes/timeliness and all other in between because there are Gods and one of them is surely in charge of that shit. Hal happens to flirt with me when I visit his city? Hell yeah time to fuck with him. Write down that "Batman says you have reports to write" and do his disappearing act. Look at all of the exhibision Diana was involved with. See what stuff she likes to work with. If I happen to meet her talk military history, if she knows it.

Avoid Martians at all cost. No offence to them, but I'm not giving them an existential crisis because I happened to think of their world in comic book terms.

If it's the universe in which Billy is homeless, try to adopt him like you would a street cat. Get him close by offering food and shelter. But if he does allow me to be his guardian, I will have to be straight with him that I know about Marvel and then say that I have meta-knowledge and hope he understands it as me being a meta that can just access random information.

The Justice League would probably be on my ass real fucking quick but I'd have a good time while they try to figure out what is up with me.

[allthoseotherworlds]

Okay, still haven't seen the episode and I'm not sure when I will get around to doing it, but I slept, showered, and I'm capable of breathing again (allergiessss)

And I think I'm going to approach it with the same energy as like, when I was in high school and thought I had a crush on someone because I was lonely and wanted to fit in and in high school that was how you did that, in my mind.

So I convinced myself I had a crush on one of the guys in my class who was friendly and nice to people. Fortunately for me, nothing ever happened, and I never actually had to try to be in a romantic relationship as an aroace teenager who didn't know what those words meant.

But like, I think in general with romantic relationships and comments and stuff with the Doctor, regardless of the episode or characters involved, I could see it being kind of similar in some ways.

The Doctor generally wants to be accepted by people and liked, even the regenerations who are more brusque are kind of going about it in a way that's like "look how much I don't care what you think of me and don't need to be likeable" - it feels like it's the other side of that same coin.

I think Gallifrey places less attention on romantic relationships than many other societies, but the Doctor doesn't spend much time on Gallifrey anymore. The Doctor spends a lot of time on Earth and around humans and other species that place more important on romance.

Romance and sex shouldn't be how people define their likability, but often it is, at least in subtle ways. Amatonormativity, etc, all those forces that are more visible to aspec people but present to some degree in everyone's life.

I can imagine the Doctor not being fundamentally interested in those things, probably fluctuating between neutral to averse between regenerations, but still wanting that acceptance and wanting to participate in something that is meaningful and important to so many people and as part of how they define their relationships with each other. Trying to put on that mask and play that game is like, a way to be part of that group.

But like most masking, you can only keep it up for so long before it starts to wear on you. See the Doctor and River, the Husbands of River Song, and any long rambling posts I have made about those in the past.

And especially after Yaz had a crush on the Doctor and the Doctor was unwilling to engage in a romantic relationship with her - because it never ends well, because she's been here before and knows how it goes. But maybe she feels guilty or bad about it too, like that was her one chance to have a relationship that felt more equal or intimate, because humans don't seem to know how to have those kinds of friendships with the Doctor sometimes.

So then maybe the Doctor regenerates a couple of times, and has a stronger sense of aesthetic attraction (but is otherwise aroace) and he thinks "Well, when I make jokes and comments about people looking nice, it makes them happy, it makes them (the decent ones, the ones I care about who aren't homophobic) see me as one of them. Maybe I am like them after all," and he flirts with the guy in the episode, and he does think he's interesting and cares about him.

And he plays the game and gets some closeness and connection out of it that he struggles to get in contexts that are more natural to him.

But if it had a chance to go on longer than the one episode, it would have ended up like with River, because you can only play that game for so long before the other person realizes you have to do it consciously.

And if you don't have the words or general tendency to communicate about that sort of thing, people end up assuming that the pricked is that a sunset can't love them back, not that you, specifically, love differently than they do.

Anyway I'm definitely not like. Projecting on the Doctor or anything haha, why would you even say that... but I will say that I've read very convincing fanfiction about Tony Stark being aromantic and/or asexual and sex and romance repulsed so like. We as a community can turn anything aroace and I love that about us.

[all-pacas]

i know everyone loves the og ducklings (and so do i), but i find the second gen so compelling, especially some of the ones that didn’t make the final cut, and i’d just love to hear your thoughts on some of the more major players in the fellowship reality show

In all honesty, I don't have super strong opinions, but I'll do what I can!

13: I talk about her a lot. I love her. :( I love that fandom now loves her, I dimly remember folks hated her (and in my archive trawling, I see a lot of it). Probably for being a woman, you know, but also for getting a lot of character focus — way more than Taub and Kutner — at a time people were still salty about losing Chase and Cameron. But 13's so fun. I like her much more… without the meme? I mean, she makes herself into a Mystery Meme, but really she's not that serious. I think she's great in S6/7, when there's no mystery and 13 is just her cute work nickname and she's joking around and having fun. I love that she quits medicine and lives in Greece. I'm not being ironic, I think her decisiveness and willingness to just make huge life changes is … sometimes not great, but also super cool. I love that she was able to just let go and do something new. I like to imagine she and Chase go on friend vacations sometimes.

Taub: I think he's great. He's so fucking funny, first of all. Like he does some of the funniest things on the show. I'll never get over him staying in the room after House tells everyone who hasn't slept with 13 to leave. He's literally just here to have a good time, he's actually a Good Friend and I like how he invites Chase over to dinner after the Divorce and how he and Foreman are besties and how he and Kutner were best friends. I love that Taub is able to befriend all these young doctors with no ego or issue; like, Wilson's a Friendly Guy but absolutely has never considered hanging out with the kids (who aren't Amber), you know what I mean? Taub is a social equal of the department heads, not the baby doctors. I like to imagine he and his wife somehow and implausibly reconcile. He's trash but he's just a little guy!!

Kutner: I admit, I find him a little… tiring? Like, I don't dislike him; I don't dislike anyone. And Kal Penn is great, and I adore the moments Kutner shows just incredible empathy. He has a moment in The Itch where Cameron is trying to get into the dude's house and Kutner stops her in her tracks and explains exactly what she's doing wrong that's just so good. Or him bonding with the girl in Birthmarks. How he just connects with people on the fringes without trying. But, and I do mean this, I do think he's a bit overhyped as like "the next and true House." He's sharp and definitely the most creative of the bunch, but he's awful at procedures and definitely has strong "new kid" vibes. After a few years he would have been a FORCE. When I say I find him tiring, I think I mean that the show at first lent a little too hard into the "haha he sets people on fire" thing. I like him as a weirdo with incredible empathy, but not a meme about incompetence.

Amber: I loved her when she was Cutthroat Bitch, I loved her going up to House like "I'm calling you Greg now as we are social equals," I loved her telling Wilson to buy a waterbed because she could advocate for herself and didn't need him to be gallant on her behalf. I wonder a lot what S4 would have been like if it hadn't been cut short. I think she would have died either way, because Head/Heart are just too good? But I think she was really good for Wilson and even for House, I would have loved to see more of that period. And I love ghost Amber, even if she's very clearly House's idealized version of her. But damn is she good.

Cole: Honestly, he sort of feels like a wasted character. He got a lot of focus, he got development, and then he was just gone. I wonder if there was behind the scenes stuff — he certainly had more focus than Taub for example. Not that I'm suggesting drama, but it is interesting how abruptly they dumped him, you know? I liked him, but I did find him sort of bland. He's another character I would have loved to see interact more with the OG cast. Cameron seemed to like him. I bet Chase would have been wildly hypocritical about his religious stuff, lol.

Brennan: I adore that he just went insane and started poisoning people. He was so normal before that, I wish we could have seen him be nuts sooner. I bet Cameron was like "omg he's in the peace core 😍" about him.

Really I love the original kids so much but I do love the new ones too, I wish we'd seen them all hang out. (I do find it kind of funny that the last ones standing are Taub and Chase. Like Park and Adams too, and 13 soooorta, but it's so weird/funny that the last two fellows over time are those two.)

[butterflydm]

wot rewatch 1x8: the eye of the world

I made it before the new season started! <3

spoilers for the first season of WoT and for most of the s2 teasers that we've gotten. For the books... um... honestly mostly stuff from Eye of the World that didn't end up in the show, lol. Oh, and for New Spring, I guess.

@apocalypticavolition mentioned that Perrin's original plot was probably helping Lan track Moiraine - that makes a lot of sense! It would have given Perrin a chance to flex his heightened senses and it might have even given Lan a chance to name-drop Elyas.

Okay, wow, yay! Our Completely Old Tongue scene from Age of Legends. When this first opened and they were just... talking in the Old Tongue... I was so blown away. I was not expecting it. I think they've hinted that we might get more Old Tongue scenes in s2 as well, which would be fantastic.

I'm glad that I read The Strike on Shayol Ghul short story -- they really did pull a lot of the info from that story for this scene, so that was very cool to see.

There is definitely a lot more focus on "Dragon as father" here than in the books (and I wonder if the tragedy of him murdering his family is going to focus more on killing his kids and not solely about killing his wife, once we get into that)

And the reveal at the end that '3000 years ago' was actually futuristic and we're living in a post-apocalyptic landscape, which is a great reframing for anyone who didn't already know.

Love all our Moiraine & Rand ~bonding time~ here (for various values of bonding time, lol). Definitely curious about where that relationship is going to go over the course of s2.

Egwene and Perrin checking in with each other is a sweet moment. Yeah, things Got Weird last episode due to stress and Nynaeve accidentally telling a secret that wasn't hers, but it hasn't wrecked their friendship.

And if Perrin is the one helping Lan here (supernaturally), then Lan and Nynaeve's scene would have just been the romantic goodbye.

Ishamael notes here that he didn't think that Rand was the Dragon Reborn. It sounds like he was expecting Rand to look more like LTT did. I really do love him calling Rand "Lews Therin", poor Rand. The identity issues are only going to get worse, bb. Love that Rand starts their conversation with an arrow to the face.

"Ever since the day I channeled, I hear nothing [from the wind]" is our first allusion to Nynaeve's block, I believe.

Moiraine tapdancing around the truth as hard as possible so that she doesn't have to admit that she physically can't teach Rand channeling. She's even willing to share one of her traumas with Rand in order to avoid admitting it! Also, I do think that Elaida's willingness to turn to violence is going to stand out a lot more in a world where teaching isn't always accompanied by brutality, as it is in the books.

haha, I totally forgot about this scene with Min and the others. Maybe because it doesn't really tell us anything we aren't going to learn immediately even without her (a nod to how pointless Min's viewings mostly are in the books? lol) but it does prompt Min to get out of the city on the wagons, I'm guessing.

Apologies to all the people who worked hard on the battle scenes but I don't ever have much to say about things like that.

Rand already getting memories (and Moiraine seeing him remember) plus Rand trying to protect people from getting hurt because they're standing next to him. (and Rand trying to give an order that Moiraine immediately ignores lol)

yeah if Lan had a companion (like Perrin) then his scenes here would have actually had some dialogue - they may have even given Rand the line about Malkier because they wanted to get the info out but it was originally supposed to come out in dialogue between Lan and Perrin.

Aww, family moment between the Agelmars. It's sweet. I honestly barely remember the Agelmars from the books, so this was an improvement. "Buy enough time to stand a chance" is going to be a big theme, too.

We also kinda get confirmation here that Darkfriends have been more effective in the show-verse than they were in the books-verse (it seems like more knowledge has been destroyed).

18. So, given what we've seen in the teasers of Ishy getting Lanfear from a seal, it seems like this specific spot is where LTT sealed Ishamael in particular (half-sealed?) and he released Ishamael fully when he cracked the seal. Before this, we only see Ishy working in people's dreams and then, in s2, he gets to actually exist in the waking world.

19. While I do see the effects of the covid shutdown and new rules in the battle scenes (and am looking forward to seeing them pop off without those setbacks in s2!); the scenes with Rand in the dream and Rand against Ishamael are perfect and I will hear no arguments against them. Rand is, ultimately, a philosophical hero and not a battle hero. He gets that wrong a lot in the books! But things tend to backfire on him when he tries to force himself into the battle hero position.

20. And we have ~the temptation~ here, with Egwene and little Joiya (and the mention of Mat, which was fascinating at the time and remains utterly fascinating; that fake!Egwene makes a point of mentioning Mat in Rand's temptation dreamworld).

21. The imagery for what Ishamael does to Moiraine is pretty much exactly like the shielding on Logain and not anything like when Logain was severed later in the episode, so I will (one last time before the new season lol) put my bet in that she was shielded. Ishamael is just able to do a lot faster than the Aes Sedai. Also when Moiraine is right behind Rand like this, you can really see how similar their shirts really are in color.

22. Min is jetting out of Fal Dara as fast as she can -- show!Min actually seems aware that she's not a fighter. #goodforher

23. But they did use needing to have Perrin in Fal Dara to give him a nice little scene with Loial that fed into the violence vs peace conflict.

24. Ishy really put in the work here (I'm assuming that it must have all been drawn from Rand's memories which, again, makes Egwene mentioning that Mat is saying he's going to make Joiya a lantern just incredibly fascinating). Ishamael waits until Rand falls for the trap to reveal to Rand what's going on (sorta). And both Ishy and Rand are working the angles here -- Ishy pretends that he wants Rand to pick the dream world and... you know, that would be useful but... he still wins if Rand fights him because that surge of Power will break his seal. And Rand pretends that he's falling for the temptation but actually is looking for Ishy to give him some clues on how to access the Power on purpose.

25. Ah, s2 setup is happening: Perrin learns that the Dragon needs the Horn at the Last Battle; and Fain was given the password to get into the fortress, which means there's a Darkfriend who knows the passwords.

26. I 100% approve of the show making joining a circle dangerous. In the books, circles are so completely underused and it feels silly because they are very low risk. People should be in circles all the time; especially when things get dangerous.

27. Lots of emphasis on fatherhood this season -- Rand's struggle about Tam being his father; Rand's desire to be a father (expressed both in ep1 and here with Joiya). We also had Siuan's relationship with her father being a key element of her character.

28. Rand loves Egwene enough to know that their paths have diverged and it would be wrong to try to force her onto the same path as him just because he loves her.

29. Very cute that Rand thinks he just defeated the Dark One. I want to give him a pet on his fluffy (currently sweaty lol) head).

30. Perrin gets the infodump from Fain instead of it being Mat. It's a good infodump, from someone who definitely, obviously has an agenda.

31. Rand thinks he's succeeded, so he leaves on his own so that he won't hurt the ones he loved. Baby. Off he goes, into the big world of Making Bad Life Choices, bless him.

32. And the poor little girl who, at least, probably died quickly? The show did such a good job with the Seanchan. Both here and in what we've seen so far in the teasers for s2. They are gonna be extremely creepy and heartbreaking and scary. You can definitely see tear-tracks on the face of one of the damane here.

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[spitdrunken]

currently i'm really busy with writing for my thesis, which unfortunately leaves me with little creative juice... ive been engaging with other people's creations a lot more rather than writing for myself, but have some assorted thoughts on things ive enjoyed recently below, for anyone who is interested. feel free to send me asks about anything that's mentioned, but because of the above, might take me a bit to get back to u <3!

these aren't really x reader thoughts, just rambling! if you read this, thank u, i am giving you a kiss on your forehead/hug/fistbump/handshake/whatever words of affirmation you have been wanting to hear today. pick your favorite!

(Pokephilia mention) Pokémon Legends Z's announcement!! It'll be forever until it's released (which, as a true Pokémon fan, I'm very happy about BAHAHAH), but I'm so excited! Very curious how they are planning to implement, what seems to be, citybuilder elements... If Emmet shows up in this game, I'm going to be super delighted, but I honestly doubt it. Either way, it's made me think a bit more about the twins, and Poképhilia stuff in general as well! It's such a shame/pain the main tag is blocked... one day I will start and stick to my intention to write, like, porn about all the Pokémon, haha. A dream...

(cannibalism(????) monster eating??? mention. consensual!) Dungeon Meshi really was as much fun as everyone mentioned! Don't really see myself writing fic about it, except for a very specific idea I had... I like the thought of Laois 'obsessed with eating monsters' Touden got to meet a monster (AKA Reader) who is equally obsessed with the idea of being eaten!! Maybe a mermaid, or something like that? It's his one chance to eat a humanoid monster! Though the others probably won't believe him when they tell him that it was 100% consensual, and are judging him harshly LMAO

Welcome Home updated! Very happy about this. Though I don't connect them publically, I actually have written quite a bit of WH fic and my sfw sideblog for it used to have more followers than this one LMAOO. Maybe one day I'll write NSFW works for it, but I dunno if there's interest... Plus, I very much fall underneath people the creator would consider 'unwelcome' in their squeaky-clean fandom or whatever, but they have like a quarter million followers now, lol. Anyway, Wally is, as has been said many times before, the Most! He draws me in <3

And also, poor Eddie, lmao. It's very interesting to me, with the inclusion of the Narrator, that the characters seem to be forced to steer in a specific direction, if that makes sense? To upkeep a certain mask. I wonder if 'as above, so below' is a reference to that, in the sense that whatever is dictated by the stronger forces of narrative, is what shall occur 'below'-- In their world. Like, the animosity some of these puppets have for each other!!!!! Some of them are just straight up Not Friends, lmao.

I need to play more of it, but if anyone is reading this, go play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I expected it to be waaaay more popular, especially on Tumblr, but it's so underrated? The writing is wonderful, the characters are well-defined, and the art is breathtaking! Please take a look at the trigger warnings, cuz there are a few that are definitely applicable, but it's soooo good... If it has to be said, I romanced Dys first, lmao.

I am watching The Apothecary Diaries right now, just started today, and can I jsut say... I'm such a fan of all the women in this show!! I love the perspective it gives on court life a lot! Maomao definitely is pulling in all the men AND women, huh.... i appreciate that. Jinshi also 100% wants to get degraded by her, huh. Maomao is the sexywoman of this show.

[isadollie]

Hello fellow human,

I saw that you had a matchup open and I wanted to check it out. I really wanted to do this kind of stuff, but when I've found someone it was already closed. So I'm excited you're open for it :D

It's my first time so no pressure :3 (really no pressure, please don't be uncomfortable or stressed out about it)

To my matchup request. It would be for Haikyuu and Tokyo Revengers. If you only want to do one then I choose Haikyuu.

Now to my person:

---

🦝 Name? --- Yumi

🦝 Pronouns? --- She/Her

🦝 Sexuality? --- Bisexual

🦝 Girl or Boy matchup? --- Boys please :3

🦝 Likes? --- Sushi. Give me sushi and I'm happy. But music is also top priority on my list. I cannot without music.

🦝 Dislikes? --- I really don't like it when one is lacking manners. When I eat with someone and they are constantly on the phone, then I really want to punch them in the face and throw the phone out of the window. Not that I'm actually doing it, but I want to. Also crying children.

🦝 Freetime activities? --- I often play videogames and listen to loud music. Thou I also tend to draw characters until late at night.

🦝 Aesthetic? --- I really like the dark academia, but also a Big City at night aesthetic

🦝 Appearance? --- Naturally I have ash blonde hair but I have my hair dyed in red. Hair length wise I would say lower back. My eyes are blue and I have a very pale skin. Height is 159cm / 5'2.

🦝 Personality? --- My best friends alway tell me that I'm reliable and kind, but also very lost and savage. I also tend to be quick to throw jokes.

🦝 MBTI? --- INFP

🦝 Dream birthday present? --- Honestly, just a bouquet of flowers. Never got one, always wanted one.

🦝 Love language? --- Gift giving and some physical touch

🦝 Zodiac sign? --- Gemini

🦝 Favourite songs? --- Currently it's "LET THE WORLD BURN by Chris Gray" and "Villain (Take the shot) by Barns Courtney"

---

I hope this helps you :D

If you have any more questions then just ask right away. I hope you're having fun.

And again don't feel stressed out or anything, don't forget to drink enough and enjoy yourself :3

Lots of love <3

— matchup —

if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link

i match you with...

Akaashi Keiji!

★ there you have him! a well-mannered man through and through!

★ mention to him once that you like sushi, and the next day you'll find three boxes of it on your desk. if you don't tell him that it's enough for now, he'll get you some every day probably lol

★ he became a manga editor in the future, so i assume he sees a lot of drawings daily, knows a lot about drawing. you two would have a lot to talk about in this case then!

★ he'll get you those flowers 100%. every year. every month. every week. every-

the same as with sushi, if you mention you want something, he'll get it for you in a heartbeat. i think he would decide that just flowers aren't enough though, and would get you something else with them as well

★ he loves people who are reliable, just like him!<3 plus, he admires kindness in people a lot, so he really likes it about you!

i match you with...

Chifuyu Matsuno!

★ Fuyu himself is very loyal, so he would really like to be with someone who is like this as well; in fact i believe this is one of the most important traits to him

★ a big city at night aesthetically screams tokyo revengers in general haha. but if you like how the city look like at night, make sure to tell him and he'll take you on a late night ride on his bike!

★ if i remember this one correctly, i believe Chifuyu liked to read mangas, so i'm sure whenever he has a new favourite character he would ask you to draw them for him lmao

★ i feel like he'd love your long hair!! he's not good at it, but would ask you if he can practice making some hairstyles on you

★ he'd really appreciate a partner who has a good sense of humor, he'll love that you make jokes and are able to make him laugh!

hello! here is your matchupp! i hope you like it<3 your second match was takemichi for tr, and iwaizumi for hq!

[faeriekit]

I just spent most of the day reading the trickery au (for the first time and lemme say? I'm very much in love (with the story, the characters, your *writing*, everything. Absolutely everything. I love them all so much)) and even though I was reading it all at once, I still got a bit lost with characters XD

I have no idea how you keep track of them all (*how* is your spreadsheet organized?? Plzzzzzz!!) I would love a (single time) character reminder thing of 'cabin' 'kids' 'parent if in hermes's cabin' because references are being made and I dont...know where exactly the info came from, so I can't look it up to check T.T (love all the minor god(desse)s you've tied in!)

Otherwise - curious about a couple things

1. Is Luke no longer getting nightmares? Thalia? (Didn't she get one or was it just anxiety? I thought I read she heard a whispering too at one point)

2. Was the masterbolt not stolen in this one? Bc I dont think that was actually addressed (the healm of darkness yes, but with the animosity between the underworld and Olympus, would hades have ever told them? Or I guess maybe he accused them and they picked it up from there?)

3. Cory? Did he ever get out of the gas station? (Or are we not meant to find out yet)

I love seeing how Percy's loyalty is tied to so many more people (especially Luke) and how thats changing so many things (he's a menace and I love him). I love how Luke is still angry, but how he's taking lessons from Sally in using that to get.things.done. (love that for him, its amazing, and I love him) (.....and pretty much all the characters. I love the new characters you've introduced us to (love that the number of girls has gone up!) And how they feel so *real*. They're not just....names to fill in space. They take up space as people and its amazing)

Anyways, this is getting very long so.....

XD

Okay one at a time:

Getting lost with the characters is super normal, haha. I tend to bring them up at random. That being said, I do post the chart when people ask, and update it about once a chronological year. The blacked out stuff is things you're not allowed to see yet. Ignore that. That being said, it is ONLY for the current cabin 11 kids, so any non-Hermes kids are in the wind. Metaphorically. Maybe also canonically. Luke is still shirtless.

IF you're looking for the research I use on the individual gods, though, I joyfully exploit theoi.com! Theoi dot com, for all your greek theological needs! (Nonsponsored)

Any dreams and or nightmares are on a plot basis! If you haven't seen any as of late, there haven't been any significant dreams. They are traumatized though. They probably have trauma dreams.

Yeah, weird how no one's mentioned the Master Bolt! Wonder what's up with that. 👀

All Cory things shall be revealed in time...probably. No, I have a plan. But. You know. Everything in its season.

Yeah, Luke's go-get-'em initiative with Sally's prioritization is truly a thing to behold. There are more girls because camp girls are scary, and I think no one on earth has ever done the feral nature of a girl released into the wilderness true justice. I was a little undiagnosed kid waiting for the world to make sense when a girl scout taught me how to break a man's arm. I hope she lives forever. That many kids? With minor superpowers? And ADHD? In a camp setting?? Chiron has to be the only reason this camp has not exploded in the last three hundred years.

Yeah, there are a lot of goddess moms, huh? I wonder if there should be more dads...but there aren't as many cool ones... Eros is cool but to be fair I decided he and his wife and Miranda's mom were all amicable in like the first ten minutes.

Thank you for writing in! Send as much as you want; no one's ever been angry for a lengthy write-in, haha. I love enthusiasm 😊