#+ we already have a confirmed grown ben

[mishoarts]

Them being older in the drawing and having fun in the house, I'm gonna take it as a confirmation of them surviving and getting a happy ending 👍👍👍

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter two | the lights are so bright but they never blind me

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.1k

summary: you have to adjust to life in the public eye as ben’s supposed girlfriend...and ben has to adjust to the sight of you wearing his chelsea kit to a game

A/N: thanks for more lovely messages, they really encourage me to update faster lol! i’m sorry this one’s a bit shorter, the next update will definitely be longer 😌 chapter title is from welcome to New York

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The morning after the gala, you wake up in Ben’s guest room feeling relaxed and refreshed.

You always seem to get a better sleep when you stay at his, though you’re not sure if that’s due to his comfy mattress and expensive sheets or the fact that he lives out in Cobham and it’s significantly quieter than your own flat.

This state of relaxation lasts for about five minutes, or until you get a text from your friend Valerie asking if you’ve been on Twitter today.

Bracing yourself, you open the app and already see Ben’s name trending.

You’ve gained some followers over the years when Ben has posted you on his socials, but it’s nothing compared to the way people are currently talking about you all over the internet.

It���s not just on Twitter - your Instagram following count has already grown exponentially, and your comments are filled with everything under the sun, from praise to cruelty.

You know Ben gets shit like this all the time, and Mia warned you it would be coming your way, but it’s still surreal to read about yourself online.

Especially when none of it is true. Even the nice tweets about what a lovely couple you make are based on a lie.

You can’t resist going down the rabbit hole for a few minutes, reading pages of tweets from Ben’s fans speculating about your relationship, some negative and some positive. Eventually, you can feel your brain starting to hurt, and you know it’s in your best interest to shut your phone off for a while.

Begrudgingly, you force yourself to get out of bed and face the day. You make your way downstairs in your pyjamas, stretching your arms out as you enter the kitchen.

Ben is already awake, like he usually is at this time, and he’s standing by the stove in joggers and an old Nike sweatshirt, flipping pancakes that you know are not a part of his diet plan.

“Pancakes?” you question, startling Ben a bit as he turns to face you.

“Morning,” he says with a small smile. “Yeah, with blueberries. They’re for you. Figured it’s the least I could do since-“

“Since I’m being torn apart online by football fans?” you joke - or, at least, you mean it as a joke.

Ben’s face falls, his eyes wide with concern, and he sets down the spatula to walk over to you.

“I am so sorry, Y/N,” he says seriously. “I didn’t know it would be like this. I’ve obviously never had a real girlfriend before, so I didn’t think about it.”

“Ben, it’s-”

“I called Shreya as soon as I saw everything and had her prepare an exit strategy, she’s already confirmed our relationship to the press but she thinks we can back out of it if-“

“Ben,” you say a bit more firmly, placing a hand on his arm. “Why would we need to back out of this? Does she not think it’s working?”

Ben just blinks at you for a moment before shaking his head. “Well, no, actually. Apparently I’m getting great press from it, and you’re the one getting all the shitty comments. But I-”

“I’m fine with it, then,” you shrug. “I’ll just make my Instagram private, you know I don’t really care about social media anyways. I’ll be fine.”

Ben still doesn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure? I hate the thought of you having to read that crap,” he mumbles. “I’m used to the pricks, but you shouldn’t have to be.”

“It’s fine, Ben, I swear,” you insist, squeezing his shoulder. “Actually, some of your fans seem to like me. Or they like that I supposedly keep you grounded or whatever bullshit Shreya fed the press.”

“Well, that part’s not total bullshit,” Ben says with a small smile that makes your cheeks flush slightly. “Thank you again for doing this. And you can still change your mind at any time, you know.”

“I know,” you say, mirroring his smile. “Now hurry up before you burn my pancakes.”

“Oh, shit!”

-

By the next weekend, you’ve gotten pretty used to “dating” Ben.

You go private on your socials as you discussed, with the official statement from Ben’s publicist being that you two ask for privacy as a new couple. Naturally, this only makes everyone more interested, including the media.

As Shreya hoped, the headlines now describe Ben as a “man in love” and someone ready to “settle down with a nice girl.” There are tabloid articles with pictures of you two - some from before you were even pretending to date - and all the information they could dig up on you, including your job.

It’s all a bit weird, but the weirdest part is definitely when you have to actually corroborate your story of being Ben’s girlfriend. Which, as far as everyone outside your inner circle is concerned, you now are.

It definitely feels strange lying when, for example, one of the doctors you work with congratulates you on your relationship. (Turns out her son is a Chelsea fan and she wants to know if you could ask him to sign a kit or something, which you promise to make happen.)

You’re relieved when the only event you have to attend this weekend is Ben’s game, which you would’ve gone to anyways. You’re also going with his sister Alex, who is obviously in on the whole thing, which makes it easier.

She meets you at your flat, which is conveniently only about ten minutes away from Stamford Bridge on the tube, an hour before the game.

After you tightly embrace Ben’s sister, who is like a younger sister to you as well, she grins and passes you a small gift bag.

“You got me a present?” you ask in confusion.

“It’s not from me, it’s from Ben,” she chuckles. “He also said to say he’s sorry and that it was Shreya’s idea.”

You open the bag and pull out a familiar article of clothing - a brand new Chelsea shirt with Ben’s name on the back.

Of course, as Ben’s girlfriend, it would make sense that you be wearing his kit.

“Oh, god, let me go change.”

Once you’ve replaced the plain blue t-shirt you were wearing with the shirt Ben sent over, you walk back out and find Alex with an amused look on her face.

“How do I look?” you ask a bit sarcastically as you do a twirl.

“Like a proper WAG,” Alex laughs. “Let’s go, my future sister-in-law.”

You groan as Alex grabs you by the arm and you depart for the match.

Although you’ve come to see Ben play at the Bridge more times than you can count, you have never felt this many eyes on you as you make your way to your seats. There are people not-so-subtly taking your photo as you walk up, probably made all the worse by the Chilwell kit you have on - though you suppose that’s the point.  

The match begins, and you cheer at the top of your lungs for Chelsea, just as you have from the day Ben signed for them. You never really cared that much about football, and you didn’t support any particular club growing up, but you’ve always been Ben’s number one fan.

Today, he’s playing well, making you as proud as ever. It’s not hard to pretend to be the supportive girlfriend when every flawless pass or run forward has you leaping out of your seat with unrestrained enthusiasm.

At half-time, Chelsea are up by 1 against Newcastle, and you and Alex are happily chatting and catching up over a beer.

“I saw all the pics of you guys at the gala on Twitter,” Alex says with a smirk on her face, lowering her voice so nobody overhears. “I know it’s weird to say since you’re basically part of the family, but you actually look quite good together.”

“Ew, Alex, there’s no way,” you insist, a slight blush creeping onto your cheeks. “He’s…Ben.”

Alex just laughs and drops the subject as the game resumes and the boys come back out of the tunnel.

Around the 85th minute, with the score now tied 1-1, Ben comes running up the side and makes an excellent pass to Conor, who scores and secures the win. You jump out of your seats to cheer as the guys celebrate on the pitch, you rolling your eyes with affection as Ben and Conor jump up and down with excitement.

The whistle blows shortly after with Chelsea leaving victorious, and you and Alex make your way down to the tunnels to meet up with Ben. With this being their fourth win in a row, the atmosphere at the Bridge is electric, a far cry from last year’s rough season.

It’s so nice to see Ben so happy again, and the smile on his face only seems to grow tenfold when he spots you and Alex making your way over to him.

You can’t resist picking up your pace to a light jog as you move toward him, and his arms are already open to pull you into a tight hug that lifts your feet off the ground and makes your heart soar in a similar fashion.

“That assist was brilliant,” you murmur into his shoulder before he sets you down.

Ben pulls away, still beaming at you, his sweaty hair curled down over his forehead.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles, his eyes wandering to the shirt you’d almost forgotten you were wearing.

It’s not the first time you’ve worn his kit - his England debut and the Champions League final come to mind - but those were special occasions, with the rest of his friends and family wearing it too. This is obviously different, and although Ben sent it over for you to wear, his eyes are locked to you like he’s trying to memorize every thread of the fabric.

You can’t figure out why he seems so transfixed, but you don’t have much time to dwell on it before you’re interrupted.

Alex clears her throat, snapping Ben out of whatever trance he was in, and he pulls her in for a hug.

“So, to celebrate the win and Ben’s assist, I’m thinking he should take us out for a nice dinner?” Alex suggests, smiling and nudging your arm.

“Shouldn’t you be buying me dinner?” Ben raises an eyebrow. When you both just laugh, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Alright. I’ll go shower, you make a reservation somewhere.”

After you and Alex have picked out the fanciest-looking sushi place you could find online and collected Ben from the changing rooms, you make your way to his car. Just like after every game, the paparazzi are out trying to get videos and photos of the players leaving the stadium.

This time, however, most of the attention seems to be directed at you.

The lights begin to flash the moment you exit the building, and Ben reaches down to take your hand without a second of hesitation. Whether it’s to flaunt your “relationship” further or just to comfort you, you’re not sure, but it’s definitely working either way.

“Y/N, did you enjoy the match today?”

You know you don’t have to answer any of their questions, but you’d rather not be branded as cold or rude as the media loves to do when a woman ignores them.

So you squeeze Ben’s hand and nod, smiling at the man recording you.

“Of course, the team played really well.”

“And what did you think of Ben’s performance?” they fire back at you.

“He was amazing,” you say without missing a beat. “I always love watching him on the pitch.”

You can see Ben smiling at you as you speak - a genuine smile that you know has nothing to do with the cameras surrounding you - but he startles you slightly when he leans in to peck your cheek and lets his lips linger there for a moment. They’re soft and warm against your skin, and you feel significantly colder when they pull away.

You’ve clearly spurred on the media even more with this sudden display of affection, but Ben begins to pull you along with him and help you into the car before either of you has to answer any more questions.

You breathe out a sigh of relief as you settle into the passenger seat, Ben and Alex entering the car moments later.

“Nice show, you two,” Alex laughs, obviously still amused by the sight of you and Ben pretending to be a couple.

“You okay, Y/N?” Ben asks, looking over at you. “Sorry if the cheek kiss was too much. I know it’s a bit awkward.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you assure him, rolling your eyes. “It’s fine. Of course it’s gonna be awkward sometimes, but as long as it’s helping with the PR plan, right?”

Ben nods gratefully and smiles at you once more before asking Alex for directions to the sushi place.

You’re grateful for her chatting away about how hungry she is, and for the song Ben is playing loudly through the speakers as you drive to the restaurant, both of which are helping to distract you from how alarmingly not awkward this all feels.

A/N: let me know what your thoughts are after this chapter!! things start to heat up in the next one i promise ;)

tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe​ @batmansb1tch​ @ncentic​ (let me know if you would like to be added!)

[memyselfandmya]

Notes on the JWCT Trailer

This will include spoilers and also my possible theories for events that will happen in the show so if you don't want to read that then keep scrolling.

Why is future Brooklynn always shoving her face into cameras?? Fits her character, I guess. In all serious, I love her new design even if it's only for a few seconds, the hair suits her face really well.

ALSO SHE'S DEAD????? I mean I had a feeling that if it were to be one of the campers it be her, but to have it confirmed is insane.

I secretly believe she's not dead and I might make another post about that. Unless we actually see her die I won't believe it.

Darius is never going to escape this guilt and the pressure of being responsible for the lives of others, is he? Give my baby a break.

Also I'm so used to referring to the campers as my babies but now they're grown ass adults that are significantly older than me, like what?

I'm excited to see what's actually going to be on Dark Jurassic bc we know people are tracking dinosaurs but I want to know all of the crazy conspiracies.

Why are they after the campers? That's my biggest question. I truly can't wait to see who's hunting them and why.

AHHH the rest of the campers are 100% confirmed. It was kind of obvious after the leaks and the show description but actually seeing them is making me feel some kind of way.

YASAMMY. As for if Sammy and yaz are still together, that's what I'm interested in. The way Ben was talking, it seems like everyone is separated, which would include Sammy and Yaz. It's possible that they could be physically together but I feel like that it would also make it way more easier to track everyone down if two of the three people were already with each other. This doesn't necessarily mean that they're now separated, they could always just be doing long distance or whatever. My theory is that Yaz and Sammy broke up at one point--Why? I don't know--just to make the separation/isolation between the campers more drastic but then that classic thing will happen where the two characters part of a larger group have broken up but are forced to regroup with everyone else, and therefore each other, and it's awkward at first, especially with the close proximity but then they begin to rekindle their relationship and make amends. Sometimes that ends with one of them dying at the end but praying that won't happen. If they're not together then this is the only alternative I'll take. Sammy and Yaz do seem to be very cutesy in the later scenes so it doesn't seem tooo out of reach.

The scene where Ben's van is driving along a road is giving major Texas vibes -> Sammy?? My guess is that she's the first they go to find.

I love Sammy's new design; her outfit just feels like her and the pink hair ends are everything I need. An homage to Brooklynn maybe? We all know Sammy was her biggest fan.

Also the clip of her seems to be like a fair or something which makes sense but it also looks like a couple of things are knocked over like a pole and a bucket. Also she's taking up a defensive stand. Could there have been like a county fair that was attacked by dinosaurs? That's what I'm thinking.

Kenji's design is cool. I don't have much to say about it but it feels like him enough. My boy is also getting active, I see. Is that his coping mechanism? Such a stark contrast to the lazy boy we once knew.

Yaz's new design I like. She's my favorite so I feel like I might me most critical about her design. Her hair is super cute but it's also taking a bit to get used to because in one clip she reminded me of Marinette from Miraculous Ladybug and I can't unsee it but it looks great in her first clip. I love the bangs. I'm curious about the background in that clip, I wish we got to see more of it. It looks sort of like a metal fence so could she be in Texas with Sammy. Later, I'm going to propose a theory that might oppose this idea though.

The next scene with the mysterious man is interesting. Is he one of the guy hunting them? The phone also seems to pink which does't seem like a color he would have. You want to know who would have a pink phone?? BROOKLYNN. I saw a theory by @snaileo which I like, that it's Brooklynn's phone which seems plausible. Perhaps it could be directly after Brooklynn's been attacked and sent that video to the others (Ben?) to warn them. So now the campers would know they're being hunted or whatever which could be the potential "problem" the guy is talking about. Just an idea.

I can't fucking wait until May 24th

The next scene definitely has to take place on Sammy's ranch. It's got that Texas terrain and there's also those pasture fence things and Sammy's in the scene. (And Bumpy too??? FUCKING YESSS). She also kind of moves in front of Ben and Darius like, "who the fuck is coming to my ranch??" Maybe I'm just overanalyzing that but we do know Sammy gets defensive over her ranch. Ben and Darius probably went to her first by the looks of it as Kenji and Yaz aren't pictured. Anyways, I'm so excited to see this place that Sammy committed corporate espionage for.

The scene with Ben in the kitchen place area talking about the raptors has a bunch of boxes in the background. I'm thinking this might still be Darius' cabin but the walls and general atmosphere seem a lot lighter. It could just be because it's day in that scene. Whoever's place it is, the boxes likely either mean that somebody's just moved in or that whoever lives there is prepared to leave at a moment's notice which is why I think it's Darius' cabin. At the same time, the door that's seen for a split second on 0.25 (yes that's the speed I'm watching it at, they're lucky I can't go slower) doesn't seem like a door that would belong in his cabin. It kind of reminds me of an RV. I do have to go and re-watch the teaser trailer to remind myself of what his cabin looks like. But if it's not Darius' place then who could it be? It could be Kenji's place because he looks all comfortable on the bed but then again, it's Kenji, he'll make himself comfortable anywhere. Maybe it's where Ben is staying. I'm probably looking way too deeply into this location but I need to know every detail until the show comes out.

The next scene obviously takes place in Sammy's house/ranch. One, she's there. Two, the overall home has that western/southern vibe to it, like with that swinging door thing. Three, if you look closely enough, there's a sign that says, "love hard, ranch harder," which, honestly that's definitely something that would be in Sammy's house. Four, if you still need proof, the thing she knocks over is a pitch fork thing which is very farmer-y. Also that door that she runs out of? That is a southern-door if I've ever seen one. Im jk but also I'm not. I wonder if this is happening before or after Ben and Darius arrive there. I want to say it's after because of the, "they found us," that precedes the scene but if so, where are they in that moment? An idea I have is that this scene happens first, and as she's running, she stumbles upon those two which is where we have that other scene where the car is driving up which could be the people who are handling/using the raptors. Edit: probs wrong bc the sky/times don't match

I cannot read maps for the fucking life of me. Does anybody know what it's of? I wonder where, when, and how Sammy acquired that map from Brooklynn because it could likely mean that Brooklynn had more contact with people before she "died." I just really want to find out the mystery surrounding her death/disappearance. What does the note say, hmm?

I ran out of space so I have to make a Pt.2 lmao

[parragone]

key piece of advice for anyone who loves themselves

don't get into Star Wars

I'm currently 3 hours deep into a conversation about how old Din Djarin could possibly be and we've reached the followign conclusions based on timelines and events in the show;

Bo-Katan is probably in her 50s-60s because she was already a grown woman at the end of the Clone Wars + the twenty years of Luke growing up to fight his dad in a drama that puts operas to shame, but looks like she's in her 30s which I guess we can attribute to space magic but also what the fuck

Din Djarin is likely between 25-35 years old depending on how far you want to sling the years apart, but because he was rescued by Deathwatch when he was around ten-ish [ which was at the END of the clone wars ] and this is post-Vader but pre-First Order, he can't be older than 40

Paz is likely around the same age as Din, but we can't confirm that without knowing if Paz is Pre's son [ we aren't sure if that was ever confirmed?? ]

Luke's a fucking baby

Is the Armorer just fucking ancient? Is she from Pre Vizsla's age? Is she going to train a new Armorer anytime soon???? [ from my friend; does this make her a gilf? ]

We're trying to figure out if Hux and Ben Solo have been born yet [ we cannot assess this. ]

Edit: we didn't realize Din Djarin was rescued AFTER Pre Vizsla got beheaded and we're now having another crisis

[tell-me-a-tale-that-tells]

WARM HEART,

WARMER LOVE

Chapter 3: Diego

Pogo almost pray you at this point, he prays you to keep an eye on Diego after his last incident.

He came back home with two bullet wounds and scared the hell out of the entire family and you, so, for now, his vigilantes crap is off the list.

But you know Diego too well, he will sneak out a window or something like that and you're afraid that one day he will not come back home.

Two love lost is too much to bear for you.

Diego is lying on the couch, fidgeting with a knife, rolling a shoulder, the one hit by a bullet, probably he still feels pain.

You stood by the door, observing him until he noticed you and instructed you to come over next to him.

You sit down brushing a hand on his arm, taking the knife from his hand and inspecting it.

"Wanna learn how to throw this Y/N?" he asks you, probably hoping for a yes, he always loves to teach you things.

He also likes to learn, always observing you while you paint and teasingly asking you if you want to paint him, maybe without clothes on, it usually ends with him rushing out of the room while you throw brushes and other utilities.

"Maybe another time, when it's not raining outside and you're not injured. You're still recovering from two wounds, Diego" you respond in a rebuked tone.

He rolls his eyes annoyed and leans forward to stand up, he meets your best killer glare and returns with his back on the couch.

"I'm fine, see? All in one piece, limbs and all the rest minus a litre of blood" he gestures to himself.

Yeah. You see he is fine, fine a lot, you wonder by which damn criterion Reginald has chosen them, like "yes, this one will be gorgeous when they will be a grown-up".

Go. To. Hell. Reggie. But. Thanks.

Diego is always the hardest to convince when the task is distracting him, with Klaus is so easy, you just need to ask him if he wants to watch a movie or go out to eat something, Allison loves going into bars and chatting, Vanya loves watching you drawing, Five loves to talk about science and telling you about Delores, Luther is the easiest 'cause you just have to tell him "Because Allison says that" and he does whatever you want.

Diego can't stay calm for a single moment, always in movement, searching for something to do, someone to help, someone who deserves a kick in the ass and a stab in the knee.

"Maybe you can help me, Grace's birthday is in two weeks, do you know what to get her?" now you got his attention.

"Nope... She has an enormous amount of clothes, jewels, shoes, and bags even if she doesn't use them. It's pretty useless to make her a gift believe me." he sighs.

"You know what else is useless?" Diego adds.

"It's pretty useless trying to lie to me, Pogo asked you to keep an eye on me, right?"

"And I won't let you go anywhere." you confirm.

"Y/N, I'm thirty years old goddammit! I can do what I want" Diego pushes himself up on his elbows and in a sitting position before trying to stand up.

To prevent it, you do the only thing that crosses your mind, you straddle his hips, putting your legs on both sides of him.

This is a bad idea because now you are very close to Diego, a very startled Diego who has not even registered that he has his hands on your waist to keep you balanced.

"You. Are. Not. Leaving. Diego" speaking slowly and clearly, you're trying to intimidate him and probably failing.

"You sound very confident for someone red from tip to toe" he smiles smugly looking up at you, pulling you down to sit on him and grabbing your arms guiding them around his neck.

"NOW I'm not going anywhere" Diego is so irritating sometimes.

You don't know if you want to punch him or kiss him, maybe both and you don't know which one you should do first.

"You know I love you all and we have already lost Ben. One love lost is enough for me... Please stay, stop this vigilante thing. Reginald thought you to fight... Let me teach you some domestic life, maybe? Life is not all cracking skulls, you might like it. " you speak softly, caressing his scalp.

You see how he is struggling, he wants to listen to you but also to return to the streets.

" Domestic stuff is not for me, there are people that need me and the cops can't be everywhere" Diego tells you lifting you from him so he can stand up.

He collects all his knives before leaving,and you hear the front door shut closed.

Every time he leaves, you die a little bit inside, you're terrified by the news channels, afraid that they tell you he's dead.

Only when he returns home, beaten up black and blue, you start to breathe again.

Only when you peel off his blood-stained clothes and patch him up, you feel better.

And only when you finally see him sleep with you as his guardian angel, you can genuinely smile.

[thefanficmonster]

Hi Vy:) If you’re not busy can I request angst with fluff hcs of Wes and Connor from htgawm with a gf who has daddy issues?<3

Ahh, as someone with daddy issues, I strongly respect this request, thank you so much for sending it my way! Enjoy the headcanons 💕

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Daddy issues, Mentions of dysfunctional families and tough upbringings, Swearing, Trust issues

Wes Gibbins

Wes is the puppy of the group for a reason

He's simply an angel who wears his heart on his sleeve more often and around more people than he should

That's why it's safe to say that he felt more than a little hurt when you exhibited a certain emotional distancing from him during the first few months of your relationship

At first he could sleep at night blaming the short duration of the romantic affiliation for your emotional isolation

But as your dating turned serious, nearing the six months mark, he could no longer convince himself of that

And his suspicions were further confirmed when he witnessed your almost panicked reaction upon asking if you'd like for the relationship to go a step further and for the two of you to start living together

You didn't explicitly say you were against the idea, but the way your face fell and eyes widened spoke volumes about how you felt in regards to the offer

That was the final straw, pushing Wes into confronting you about it, as gently as he could, of course

But even the gentlest touch can shatter what's already ben cracked in too many places too many times

"How do I know you won't change your mind? How do I know you'll stick around and won't leave me?!"

In comparison to what he expected, Wes was taken aback greatly

Still, your outburst led to a much-needed conversation and a much-needed decompress of emotions on your end, finally choosing to open up to your boyfriend about your past and your lack of proper father figure which has impacted your life in ways less than pleasant, morphing you into the untrusting person you are today

Despite what you thought his response was gonna be, the man was not the slightest bit put-off and offered you his embrace for you to seek comfort and sanctuary, reminding you that he'll always be there as long as you want him to be

That he loves you far more than yo could ever imagine

Needless to say, the following week you'd started the move into a new place for the two of you

Connor Walsh

Connor's relationship with his family hasn't always been shiny and splendid

Therefore it was easy for him to pick up on the subtle signs that you two shared, a result of the family environment you'd grown up in

Both of you could never imagine anything scarier than emotional vulnerability so the line between a friends-with-benefits and an actual romantic relationship was constantly blurred

To an outsider, the connection you share wouldn't have appeared to run any deeper than physical attraction and lustful desire

People who weren't in your bubble could've never guessed the honest love that's bloomed between you regardless of your self-made barriers and restrictions

You both had your own rights to your own insecurities but Connor and his reputation of a man-whore (as Asher or Michaela would put it) didn't help your trust issues, often going as far as to keep you laying awake at night

It took you questioning his loyalty to you during a particularly petty argument for the dam to finally collapse and let out all your feelings including your trust issues and the fear you have of losing him or losing yourself because of him

Emotions you were surprised to learn he partially shared, allowing you both to help each other work through them together and at a pace you found comfortable which has brought you to a lot greater point in your lives and relationship where you're more than happy and as in-love as can be

[cc-mr-vip]

Season 3 Initial Thoughts

- ℂ𝔸𝕄ℙ ℂℝ𝔼𝕋𝔸ℂ𝔼𝕆𝕌𝕊 𝕊ℙ𝕆𝕀𝕃𝔼ℝ𝕊 𝔸ℍ𝔼𝔸𝔻-

Holy shit, this Season was a doozy. I absolutely loved this season. It was a lot more intense than both Season 1 and 2, but had the realism from Season 1 that I loved so much.

Also I was fucking wrong, boys. Well not completely. I did make the prediction that they’ve been on the island for at least 2 months, because for some reason that was a reasonable number in my head. A nice believable number for the kids to have survived and did all they did, but six months!? Like half a year!? They would have been 1.5 years away from getting blown up from the volcano in JW2. Bruh...

The Scorpius Rex probably had the most terrifying design I had ever seen for a hybrid dinosaur. It felt way more threatening than both the Indominus and Indoraptor, probably because of it’s very odd hodgepodge of a design. I also love the twist of it being extremely unstable and causing other dinosaurs to lash out after being poisoned. Having this thing chase around the kids was definitely terrifying to say the least. Also wasn’t expecting Sammy to get spiked by the poison too (and turn an odd shade of green, sorta narmy lmao). I knew she wasn’t going to die, but I wasn’t expecting a nice squick shot of the quills in her abdomen that was a fun treat.

Also finally! Kenji, my boy, finally has some character backstory and development! I will probably do a more deeper analysis on Kenji’s drawing of his family, but is already kinda confirmed what kind of person his father is. He didn’t care enough about his son to want to put pictures of him on the wall, only himself. It makes sense why Kenji was so self absorbed as well. I found it pretty heartbreaking that Kenji risked his life to try rescue his father’s “precious” art statue. I’m not sure if he tried to rescue it because he was scared of his father scolding him or if he just wanted to bring it back for his father for a pat on the back. Either way, it’s just brings up sad implications all around. 

Honestly Kenji had some absolutely great development this season, in my opinion, way more so than the others had and way more interesting too. I think the episode that really marked a change in Kenji was Episode 5 (Eye of the Storm), when Kenji took it upon himself to be in charge of packing. For most of the episode, he was acting like typical Kenji, but he began to take his job way more seriously when it came to the safety of his friends. When Darius took after Ben, he properly took charge of the group (nice contrast to Season 1 where he was more nonchalant about it and tried to pass off responsibility). It was around this point that we didn’t see Kenji acting all high and haughty anymore, he was fully devoted to saving his friends.

I definitely wasn’t expecting Kenji to run off with the laptop to make the trade and save Brooklynn. The boy tried to fight a man with a loaded gun to save his friend, how foolish and brave of him to try do so. It was amazing to see Kenji, who spent most of the series cowering behind others, fully devoting himself to protecting Brooklynn in the finale (leading her to safety and shielding her with his own body). I do think that Kenji has some issues regarding losing friends; I think that the Camp Fam really is the first friends he’s ever gotten, which is why losing them hurt him so much (Sammy’s faux death and Brooklynn getting kidnapped). 

The way at the end when Kenji refused to forgive and accept the idea that they were going to risk Brooklynn’s safety over the laptop...it was a very mature way to handle that situation. Pragmatically, Kenji was absolutely right, they shouldn’t be risking their lives over a stinkin’ laptop. It’s not they’re responsibility, they’re just kids. But his friends were good people and Kenji played along, but decided to take matters into his own hands. His friends are important to him and he’s going to do anything to keep them safe. 

From haughty jock who only seemed to care about himself to a team member willing to risk everything to keep everyone safe, Kenji really has grown so much as a character.

All in all, I’m surprised the kids actually made it off the island this time. My friends and I were placing bets on whether or not they would make it off the island this season. Everyone had voted that they wouldn’t, but they did...hopefully? They got a stowaway so I’m wondering how they’re going to deal with that. Go back to the island? Keep going? Clearly it all isn’t over because Kenji’s character arc isn’t quite solved yet. I wonder how many more season CC will have. I do enjoy the series, but there’s only so much they can keep right?

This initial thoughts ended up more of a Kenji reaction post, so I’ll dedicate the end here to some other thoughts I had overall:

Yasmina and Sammy’s friend-(or maybe more)-ship was really cute and wholesome. I found Yasmina’s chumminess afterwards Hello-Zuko-Here levels of second hand embarrassment xD (Are they a maybe-couple? When Brooklynn mentioned crushes that Sammy might’ve had she mentioned Yaz lmao).

Thank god, Bumpy didn’t die. She has her own family now...for at least 1.5 more years until the volcano explodes...

Ben, you stupid child, of course you want to get off the island. I would have knocked you out and dragged you on the boat myself.

It was nice of the pilot and mercenary to board the kids upon finding out they were children. Even though they died / ended up splitting up the kids, the meant well.

I can’t believe Dr. Wu was in this season. He isn’t as much as a bad guy as I thought. He still left the kids, but at least he didn’t...kill them? Set the bar too low maybe?

And that’s all for now. This being a chock-full Kenji season, I’ll probably be doing some analysis or posts on him, but thought I’d make a reaction post with all my initial thoughts for now!

[r001100]

NTTD Spoilers

(this is the one where I squeee) - obviously spoilers under the cut - 

This is to make sure you read the “spoilers” part, please don’t read on if you don’t want spoilers. Ok enough, now it’s time to squeee;

- Q’s cats are cuter than I imagined and wife and I already made a hc where James survives, retires at Q’s and knits them sweaters (apparently it’s a hobby that’s recommended for people who previously served in armed forces?? cute???)

- Q cooking was adorable and will change some hc’s from “he can’t function outside of work” into “he’s really good at following instructions and has even more talents than we expected”

- The movie has the perfect amount of banter/improvised aka real conversations that are flowing and feel... less like movie script?! (There’s a conversation Bond has with Safin that has me dsjgsjdgjsdgfsd almost 24h later holy heck yes thank you)

- The relationship that develops between Bond and Nomi and the handing-off of the title is worthy and beautiful and the timing and execution of it is perfect. Thank! You!

- I did not think I would like Madeleine as a character, but wow they made me do a 180, I like her now (no regrets)

- I will write a longer post on this, bc it’s a piece of culture I’m part of and am passionate about, but: Safin origin and the intersection of eastern Russia + Japanese influence on wardrobe and set design was mmmmmm *chef’s kiss*, it was worked into small details so SO WELL I can’t wait to pause screen and info-dump on my wife once we get a DVD release. That whole island was amazing, botany on point thank thank thank you so much

- Of course Q owns a 3D-printer 

- I’ve already seen a side-by side with Goldfinger and No Time To Die, cute easter egg!

- Felix scene had me cry, he had grown on me and James calling him a brother made me tear up

- Ok, comedy; I’m running out of words to say how well-balanced this movie was, but putting little funny elements in it (i.e. tea pots in the drawer, “it’s never 9 to 5, is it”), both visually and in conversation was great!

- Wardrobe, again, I loved the core character wardrobe, especially Moneypenny and Q! Q wears a sushi-chef apron in a scene in his flat that hints at the final destination of Bond’s adventure and overall wardrobe elements - foreshadowing had me dghfjgsdhjfgdfs Q in pajama’s, we all called it, blue matching set

- Locations, ofc great, Cuba was recreated beautifully, if anyone wants a mapped out post for London locations, let me know!

- Canon gay Q, not overplayed, no weird reactions in the movie, only positive feedback during my viewing (bless this city)

- Paloma felt real and wonderful as a character, I did not expect this, but I want MORE, heck, at least a whole movie with her. I loved Ana in Knives Out and I love seeing her in an action movie.

- There’s a line when Bond is about to embark for the island that had me cry and realise “wow, he’s not coming back this time” and that was... oh wow

- Social commentary relevant to current situations was subtle but appreciated (thank you Nomi), but especially making the audience realise that Bond has more integrity in Geneva convention and rules of espionage globally than M when it came to Heracles shifted the perspective of him as a character for me and I hope it does for other viewers. For a character to go through that was a big set-up for the finale, I am glad we got to see it! (If anyone kept count and knows his age by the end of the movie, do let me know)

- Radio scene, RADIO SCENE towards the end and everyone drinking to Bond (especially Q chugging the whiskey in one go wow you miss him buddy) dfgahsjdgfhjsadgfasd no wore words

- Soundtrack was a 10000000/10 I have nothing to add, score was beautiful, perfect hints at past pieces from the previous movies, eventually a nod to Brideshead Revisited, but what do I know about music, really

Predictions aka what I wish for in the future; 

- Nomi as 007, f you, whiny franchise gatekeepers, don’t care, I want what I want; Nomi and Moneypenny friendship

- Nomi on a mission with Paloma, Q on comms, *chef’s kiss* the chaos and potential this trio has is beyond what I can imagine, please unhand it, MGM

- That’s it, I would be super happy for Ben Whishaw to stay, ofc! Though he got confirmed for a series adaptation of “This is Going to Hurt”, a book I really enjoyed this year, so woooo!

- Equally excited for the whole circus around Who Will Be The Next James Bond?! From over a decade ago, was fun speculating.

- Less of a prediction, but seeing Daniel Craig get hurt consistently and taking a step away makes me hope to see him in indie movies again. He has grown on me as an actor and I can’t wait for Knives Out 2. 

[antiporn-activist]

The Children of Pornhub

Why does Canada allow this company to profit off videos of exploitation and assault?

By Nicholas Kristof, Opinion Columnist, Dec. 4, 2020, New York Times

This article contains descriptions of sexual assault. It’s also really long.

Pornhub prides itself on being the cheery, winking face of naughty, the website that buys a billboard in Times Square and provides snow plows to clear Boston streets. It donates to organizations fighting for racial equality and offers steamy content free to get people through Covid-19 shutdowns.

Yet there’s another side of the company: Its site is infested with rape videos. It monetizes child rapes, revenge pornography, spy cam videos of women showering, racist and misogynist content, and footage of women being asphyxiated in plastic bags. A search for “girls under18” (no space) or “14yo” leads in each case to more than 100,000 videos. Most aren’t of children being assaulted, but too many are.

After a 15-year-old girl went missing in Florida, her mother found her on Pornhub — in 58 sex videos. Sexual assaults on a 14-year-old California girl were posted on Pornhub and were reported to the authorities not by the company but by a classmate who saw the videos. In each case, offenders were arrested for the assaults, but Pornhub escaped responsibility for sharing the videos and profiting from them.

Pornhub is like YouTube in that it allows members of the public to post their own videos. A great majority of the 6.8 million new videos posted on the site each year probably involve consenting adults, but many depict child abuse and nonconsensual violence. Because it’s impossible to be sure whether a youth in a video is 14 or 18, neither Pornhub nor anyone else has a clear idea of how much content is illegal.

Unlike YouTube, Pornhub allows these videos to be downloaded directly from its website. So even if a rape video is removed at the request of the authorities, it may already be too late: The video lives on as it is shared with others or uploaded again and again.

“Pornhub became my trafficker,” a woman named Cali told me. She says she was adopted in the United States from China and then trafficked by her adoptive family and forced to appear in pornographic videos beginning when she was 9. Some videos of her being abused ended up on Pornhub and regularly reappear there, she said.

“I’m still getting sold, even though I’m five years out of that life,” Cali said. Now 23, she is studying in a university and hoping to become a lawyer — but those old videos hang over her.

“I may never be able to get away from this,” she said. “I may be 40 with eight kids, and people are still masturbating to my photos.”

“You type ‘Young Asian’ and you can probably find me,” she added.

Actually, maybe not. Pornhub recently was offering 26,000 videos in response to that search. That doesn’t count videos that show up under “related searches” that Pornhub suggests, including “young tiny teen,” “extra small petite teen,” “tiny Asian teen” or just “young girl.” Nor does it necessarily count videos on a Pornhub channel called “exploited teen Asia.”

I came across many videos on Pornhub that were recordings of assaults on unconscious women and girls. The rapists would open the eyelids of the victims and touch their eyeballs to show that they were nonresponsive.

Pornhub profited this fall from a video of a naked woman being tortured by a gang of men in China. It is monetizing video compilations with titles like “Screaming Teen,” “Degraded Teen” and “Extreme Choking.” Look at a choking video and it may suggest also searching for “She Can’t Breathe.”

It should be possible to be sex positive and Pornhub negative.

Pornhub declined to make executives available on the record, but it provided a statement. “Pornhub is unequivocally committed to combating child sexual abuse material, and has instituted a comprehensive, industry-leading trust and safety policy to identify and eradicate illegal material from our community,” it said. Pornhub added that any assertion that the company allows child videos on the site “is irresponsible and flagrantly untrue.”

II.

At 14, Serena K. Fleites was an A student in Bakersfield, Calif., who had never made out with a boy. But in the eighth grade she developed a crush on a boy a year older, and he asked her to take a naked video of herself. She sent it to him, and this changed her life.

He asked for another, then another; she was nervous but flattered. “That’s when I started getting strange looks in school,” she remembered. He had shared the videos with other boys, and someone posted them on Pornhub.

Fleites’s world imploded. It’s tough enough to be 14 without having your classmates entertain themselves by looking at you naked, and then mocking you as a slut. “People were texting me, if I didn’t send them a video, they were going to send them to my mom,” she said.

The boy was suspended, but Fleites began skipping class because she couldn’t bear the shame. Her mother persuaded Pornhub to remove the videos, and Fleites switched schools. But rumors reached the new school, and soon the videos were uploaded again to Pornhub and other websites.

Fleites quarreled with her mother and began cutting herself. Then one day she went to the medicine cabinet and took every antidepressant pill she could find.

Three days later, she woke up in the hospital, frustrated to be still alive. Next she hanged herself in the bathroom; her little sister found her, and medics revived her.

As Fleites spiraled downward, a friend introduced her to meth and opioids, and she became addicted to both. She dropped out of school and became homeless.

At 16, she advertised on Craigslist and began selling naked photos and videos of herself. It was a way to make a bit of money, and maybe also a way to punish herself. She thought, “I’m not worth anything any more because everybody has already seen my body,” she told me.

Those videos also ended up on Pornhub. Fleites would ask that they be removed. They usually would be, she says — but then would be uploaded again. One naked video of her at 14 had 400,000 views, she says, leaving her afraid to apply for fast-food jobs for fear that someone would recognize her.

So today Fleites, 19, off drugs for a year but unemployed and traumatized, is living in her car in Bakersfield, along with three dogs that have proved more loyal and loving than the human species. She dreams of becoming a vet technician but isn’t sure how to get there. “It’s kind of hard to go to school when you’re living in a car with dogs,” she said.

“I was dumb,” she acknowledged, noting that she had never imagined that the videos could be shared online. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.

“A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

III.

The problem goes far beyond one company. Indeed, a rival of Pornhub, XVideos, which arguably has even fewer scruples, may attract more visitors. Depictions of child abuse also appear on mainstream sites like Twitter, Reddit and Facebook. And Google supports the business models of companies that thrive on child molestation.

Google returns 920 million videos on a search for “young porn.” Top hits include a video of a naked “very young teen” engaging in sex acts on XVideo along with a video on Pornhub whose title is unprintable here.

I asked the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to compile the number of images, videos and other content related to child sexual exploitation reported to it each year. In 2015, it received reports of 6.5 million videos or other files; in 2017, 20.6 million; and in 2019, 69.2 million.

Facebook removed 12.4 million images related to child exploitation in a three-month period this year. Twitter closed 264,000 accounts in six months last year for engaging in sexual exploitation of children. By contrast, Pornhub notes that the Internet Watch Foundation, an England-based nonprofit that combats child sexual abuse imagery, reported only 118 instances of child sexual abuse imagery on its site over almost three years, seemingly a negligible figure. “Eliminating illegal content is an ongoing battle for every modern content platform, and we are committed to remaining at the forefront,” Pornhub said in its statement.

The Internet Watch Foundation couldn’t explain why its figure for Pornhub is so low. Perhaps it’s because people on Pornhub are inured to the material and unlikely to report it. But if you know what to look for, it’s possible to find hundreds of apparent child sexual abuse videos on Pornhub in 30 minutes. Pornhub has recently offered playlists with names including “less than 18,” “the best collection of young boys” and “under- - age.”

Congress and successive presidents have done almost nothing as this problem has grown. The tech world that made it possible has been mostly passive, in a defensive crouch. But pioneering reporting in 2019 by my Times colleagues has prodded Congress to begin debating competing strategies to address child exploitation.

Concerns about Pornhub are bubbling up. A petition to shut the site down has received 2.1 million signatures. Senator Ben Sasse, a Nebraska Republican, called on the Justice Department to investigate Pornhub. PayPal cut off services for the company, and credit card companies have been asked to do the same. An organization called Traffickinghub, led by an activist named Laila Mickelwait, documents abuses and calls for the site to be shut down. Twenty members of Canada’s Parliament have called on their government to crack down on Pornhub, which is effectively based in Montreal.

“They made money off my pain and suffering,” an 18-year-old woman named Taylor told me. A boyfriend secretly made a video of her performing a sex act when she was 14, and it ended up on Pornhub, the police confirmed. “I went to school the next day and everybody was looking at their phones and me as I walked down the hall,” she added, weeping as she spoke. “They were laughing.”

Taylor said she has twice attempted suicide because of the humiliation and trauma. Like others quoted here, she agreed to tell her story and help document it because she thought it might help other girls avoid suffering as she did.

IV.

Pornhub is owned by Mindgeek, a private pornography conglomerate with more than 100 websites, production companies and brands. Its sites include Redtube, Youporn, XTube, SpankWire, ExtremeTube, Men.com, My Dirty Hobby, Thumbzilla, PornMD, Brazzers and GayTube. There are other major players in porn outside the Mindgeek umbrella, most notably XHamster and XVideos, but Mindgeek is a porn titan. If it operated in another industry, the Justice Department could be discussing an antitrust case against it.

Pornhub and Mindgeek also stand out because of their influence. One study this year by a digital marketing company concluded that Pornhub was the technology company with the third greatest-impact on society in the 21st century, after Facebook and Google but ahead of Microsoft, Apple and Amazon.

Nominally based in Luxembourg for tax reasons, Mindgeek is a private company run from Montreal. It does not disclose who owns it, but it is led by Feras Antoon and David Tassillo, both Canadians, who declined to be interviewed.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada calls himself a feminist and has been proud of his government’s efforts to empower women worldwide. So a question for Trudeau and all Canadians: Why does Canada host a company that inflicts rape videos on the world?

Mindgeek’s moderators are charged with filtering out videos of children, but its business model profits from sex videos starring young people.

“The goal for a content moderator is to let as much content as possible go through,” a former Mindgeek employee told me. He said he believed that the top executives weren’t evil but were focused above all on maximizing revenue.

While Pornhub would not tell me how many moderators it employs, I interviewed one who said that there are about 80 worldwide who work on Mindgeek sites (by comparison, Facebook told me it has 15,000 moderators). With 1.36 million new hours of video uploaded a year to Pornhub, that means that each moderator would have to review hundreds of hours of content each week.

The moderators fast forward through videos, but it’s often difficult to assess whether a person is 14 or 18, or whether torture is real or fake. Most of the underage content involves teenagers, the moderator I spoke with said, but some comes from spy cams in toilets or changing rooms and shows children only 8 to 12.

“The job in itself is soul-destroying,” the moderator said.

Pornhub appears to be increasingly alarmed about civil or criminal liability. Lawyers are circling, and nine women sued the company in federal court after spy cam videos surfaced on Pornhub. The videos were shot in a locker room at Limestone College in South Carolina and showed women showering and changing clothes.

Executives of Pornhub appear in the past to have assumed that they enjoyed immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which protects internet platforms on which members of the public post content. But in 2018 Congress limited Section 230 so that it may not be enough to shield the company, leading Mindgeek to behave better.

It has doubled the number of moderators in the last couple of years, the moderator told me, and this year Pornhub began voluntarily reporting illegal material to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. After previously dragging its feet in removing videos of children and nonconsensual content, Pornhub now is responding more rapidly.

It has also compiled a list of banned content. I obtained a copy of this list, and it purports to bar videos with terms or themes like “rape,” “preteen,” “pedophilia” and “bestiality” (it helpfully clarifies that this “includes eels, fish, octopus, insects”). Diapers are OK “if no scatophilia.” Mutilation depends on context but “cannot depict severing parts of the body.”

So while it is now no longer possible to search on Pornhub in English using terms like “underage” or “rape,” the company hasn’t tried hard to eliminate such videos. A member called “13yoboyteen” is allowed to post videos. A search for “r*pe,” turns up 1,901 videos. “Girl with braces” turns up 1,913 videos and suggests also trying “exxxtra small teens.” A search for “13yo” generates 155,000 videos. To be clear, most aren’t of 13-year-olds, but the fact that they’re promoted with that language seems to reflect an effort to attract pedophiles.

Moreover, some videos seem at odds with the list of banned content. “Runaway Girl Gets Ultimatum, Anal or the Streets” is the title of one Pornhub video. Another user posts videos documenting sex with teenage girls as they weep, protest and cry out in pain.

While Pornhub is becoming more careful about videos of potentially litigious Americans, it remains cavalier about overseas victims. One Indonesian video is titled “Junior High School Girl After Class” and shows what appears to be a young teenager having sex. A Chinese sex video, just taken down, was labeled: “Beautiful High School Girl Is Tricked by Classmates and Taken to the Top of a Building Where She Is Insulted and Raped.”

“They’re making money off the worst moment in my life, off my body,” a Colombian teenager who asked to be called Xela, a nickname, told me. Two American men paid her when she was 16 for a sexual encounter that they filmed and then posted on Pornhub. She was one of several Pornhub survivors who told me they had thought of or attempted suicide.

In the last few days as I was completing this article, two new videos of prepubescent girls being assaulted were posted, along with a sex video of a 15-year-old girl who was suicidal after it went online. I don’t see how good-faith moderators could approve any of these videos.

V.

“It’s always going to be online,” Nicole, a British woman who has had naked videos of herself posted and reposted on Pornhub, told me. “That’s my big fear of having kids, them seeing this.”

That’s a recurring theme among survivors: An assault eventually ends, but Pornhub renders the suffering interminable.

Naked videos of Nicole at 15 were posted on Pornhub. Now 19, she has been trying for two years to get them removed.

“Why do videos of me from when I was 15 years old and blackmailed, which is child porn, continuously [get] uploaded?” Nicole protested plaintively to Pornhub last year, in a message. “You really need a better system. … I tried to kill myself multiple times after finding myself reuploaded on your website.”

Nicole’s lawyer, Dani Pinter, says there are still at least three naked videos of Nicole at age 15 or 16 on Pornhub that they are trying to get removed.

“It’s never going to end,” Nicole said. “They’re getting so much money from our trauma.”

Pornhub has introduced software that supposedly can “fingerprint” rape videos and prevent them from being uploaded again. But Vice showed how this technology is easily circumvented on Pornhub.

One Pornhub scandal involved the Girls Do Porn production company, which recruited young women for clothed modeling gigs and then pushed them to perform in sex videos, claiming that the videos would be sold only as DVDs in other countries and would never go online. Reassured that no one would ever know, some of the women agreed — and then were shattered when the footage was aggressively marketed on Pornhub.

Girls Do Porn was prosecuted for sex trafficking and shut down. But those videos continue to surface and resurface on Pornhub; last time I checked, videos of six victims of Girls Do Porn were on Pornhub, which continues to profit from them.

One of the Girls Do Porn women I saw on Pornhub is now dead. She was murdered at 20, allegedly by an angry ex-boyfriend who is about to go on trial. I’m not disclosing her name because she should be remembered as a vibrant college athlete, and not for a sex video that represented her most mortifying moment.

VI.

So what’s the solution?

I had expected the survivors to want to shut down Pornhub and send its executives to prison. Some did, but others were more nuanced. Lydia, now 20, was trafficked as a child and had many rape videos posted on the site. “My stomach hurts all the time” from the tension, she told me, but she doesn’t want to come across as hostile to porn itself.

“I don’t want people to hear ‘No porn!’” Lydia told me. “It’s more like, ‘Stop hurting kids.’”

Susan Padron told me that she had assumed that pornography was consensual, until a boyfriend filmed her in a sex act when she was 15 and posted it on Pornhub. She has struggled since and believes that only people who have confirmed their identities should be allowed to post videos.

Jessica Shumway, who was trafficked and had a customer post a sex video on Pornhub, agrees: “They need to figure out who’s underage in the videos and that there’s consent from everybody in it.”

I asked Leo, 18, who had videos of himself posted on Pornhub when he was 14, what he suggested.

“That’s tough,” he said. “My solution would be to leave porn to professional production companies,” because they require proof of age and consent.

Right now, those companies can’t compete with mostly free sites like Pornhub and XVideos.

“Pornhub has already destroyed the business model for pay sites,” said Stoya, an adult film actress and writer. She, too, thinks all platforms — from YouTube to Pornhub — should require proof of consent to upload videos of private individuals.

Columnists are supposed to offer answers, but I struggle with solutions. If Pornhub curated videos more rigorously, the most offensive material might just move to the dark web or to websites in less regulated countries. Yet at least they would then not be normalized on a mainstream site.

More pressure and less impunity would help. We’re already seeing that limiting Section 230 immunity leads to better self-policing.

And call me a prude, but I don’t see why search engines, banks or credit card companies should bolster a company that monetizes sexual assaults on children or unconscious women. If PayPal can suspend cooperation with Pornhub, so can American Express, Mastercard and Visa.

I don’t see any neat solution. But aside from limiting immunity so that companies are incentivized to behave better, here are three steps that would help: 1.) Allow only verified users to post videos. 2.) Prohibit downloads. 3.) Increase moderation.

These measures wouldn’t kill porn or much bother consumers of it; YouTube thrives without downloads. Siri Dahl, a prominent porn star who does business with Pornhub, told me that my three proposals are “insanely reasonable.”

The world has often been oblivious to child sexual abuse, from the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts. Too late, we prosecute individuals like Jeffrey Epstein or R. Kelly. But we should also stand up to corporations that systematically exploit children. With Pornhub, we have Jeffrey Epstein times 1,000.

[make-me-imagine]

Red Roses: “I Love You” - Loki Ending

Valentines Special: Day Nine

Day One: Morning Glories  //  Day Two: Blue Salvias Day Three: Sunflowers  //  Day Four: Pink Camellias Day Five: Yellow Tulips   // Day Six: Violets Day Seven: Lisianthus  //  Day Eight: Daffodils (Post with rest of the character endings)

Plot: It’s finally Valentines Day, the day the reader will finally learn who it is that had been leaving them flowers and notes expressing their secret feelings.

Note: Reader is referenced to be immortal in this (a part of their mutation/powers) 

Pairing: Gen!Neutral Reader x Loki

Triggers: None        Words: 1,665   

Requested Taglist: @aquariuslavenderhoney​​, @thebookbakery​​ @spuffyfan394​​​, @fablesrose​​, @kitkatd7​​, @thefallenbibliophilequote​​, @beksib​​, @destynelseclipsa​​, @criminaly-supernatural​​, @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet, @belloangelus​​, @snarky--starky​​, @saintbootlegloras​​, @wecallhimbrowneyess​​, @empath-bunny​​, @okkulta​​, @katinthemoon,  @ravennight41​​, @youcancallme-rae , @radhumandragonclam, @unfortunateidiotinadilemma, @past3l-w1ngs​​ ,  @goinggoinggonzo​​, @mxxnmocha​​, @lainphotography​​, @fred-deeks-ben​​, @emilythezeldafan​​

February 14th

It was the morning of Valentines Day, finally. It felt like it had taken forever to finally arrive. But you found yourself somewhat disappointed that it did. As you lied in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, you couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that had taken over. 

No matter how much you loved the Avengers, and how open minded you were trying to be, you knew that there was only one person you had feelings for. One person that you desired your admirer to be above all others. And of course, this one person was the one you probably should not have feelings for, and was the one person who you knew it wouldn’t be. 

You knew this, and you knew he was gone again, but you still had a tiny glimmer of hope beneath the disappointment and anxiety. You tried to ignore it, knowing that the longer you held onto that hope, the more disappointed you would be in the end.  

Finally getting out of bed and on with your day, you tried your best the shove the anxiety away and out of mind. Not wanting to worry about it until you absolutely had too. 

- - - 

The rest of the day went by much quicker than you had anticipated, your anxiety was growing as you stood in the elevator with Wanda, Natasha, Clint and Vision on the way up to the party. You eyed the others, your thoughts busy with who it could be. You hadn’t said much to any of them, and you knew that they noticed. You wondered if they knew why, if they understood how you felt. 

As you entered into the room, already full of people who had arrived early just the make sure they got in. For the first time you felt a bit comforted, knowing that you could hide among the crowd, distract yourself, well, until you couldn’t. 

Quickly parting from the group you walked towards the crowd looking for others you knew that weren’t the Avengers. But before you could get far, you felt someone grab your arm. Turning, you see Natasha, with Clint right behind her. 

“What?” you asked, concerned. 

“Are you okay?” Clint asked.

You hesitated for a moment “No” you said, your voice quieter than you meant. 

Natasha shared a look with Clint before they got closer to you “This is about your admirer right?” You stared at her, nodding lightly “Yeah I thought so.” 

“I don’t know if I can handle it anymore Nat. At first it was...sweet and exciting, but...the more I think about it, the more I...” you couldn’t quite put into words what you wanted to say. Would they understand if you told them who you really wanted it to be? 

“You can’t picture yourself with any of them can you?” she asked.

“Only one. And they are the least likely.” you admitted. 

“Loki” Clint said suddenly you looked at him with surprise.

“How did you know?” 

“Oh come on Y/n, I’ve seen the way you are around him, and I’ve seen the way he is around you, your the only one of us he actually likes. Maybe it’s not as unlikely as you think.” 

Looking at Nat you could tell form her face that she must have known too, you sighed “He hasn’t even been here. I’ve seen him maybe two times in the last week Clint.”

Clint and Natasha shared a look before Nat spoke “Okay, look, when he showed up with Thor that day you got hurt in the lab, and found what happened. He was angry as hell, and though he didn’t show it, I think he was scared. And, I’m pretty sure he spent a few hours in your hospital room when no one else was around.” she admitted making your heart begin pounding. 

“He did?” you asked in surprise “I didn’t even know he knew about what happened.” you thought about it for a moment “But, we are friends, that- it doesn’t mean anything, it still doesn’t change the fact that he hasn’t been around, and he sure as hell isn’t here.” 

Nat looked behind you “Maybe he is.”

Turning and following her line of sight, you see Thor entering the room, greeting everyone with a loud and cheerful voice. Your heart started beating in your chest. Did he come too?

Upon seeing you, Thor approached the three of you greeting you all. “Hey Thor, did Loki come?” Clint asked for you. 

“Loki?” Thor laughed “Of course not. You know how much he dislikes Tony’s parties” he laughed again. 

You looked at Clint and Natasha with a face of ‘I told you so.’ before sighing out “It’s good to see you Thor, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go get something to drink.” you asked before walking away, giving a parting look to Natasha and Clint. 

Walking through the crowd, you left the room instead of getting a drink, you just wanted to leave. All you were now was confused. What if Loki liked you? But it still seemed unlikely that he was the one who left the flowers and notes. So what if you would have to choose. Break your admirers heart to be with Loki? 

Finding a empty sitting room closed off from the party-goers, you walked over to a large window and stared out at the city. Maybe it was best you weren’t with anyone? Say no to your admirer, and no to Loki. That way there wouldn’t have to be choosing one over another. 

You began to think about your relationship with Loki. You started as enemies, and then, when you heard about what happened with the dark elves, and then with Hela and Thanos, you thought he changed. Finally meeting him over a year ago, when you helped Thor and his people find a new home. He was charming and funny. Not the ruthless villain you thought he originally was. He changed. He was still mischievous and did questionable things, but over all, he was good. And you told him so enough, especially when he doubted himself. 

And eventually, you became friends. He told you a lot things that he never even told Thor. And in return you told him your secrets and desires. You bonded over having forever as immortals to be who you truly wanted, to do the things you truly wanted. Was it too good to be true, for him to have grown more than just fond of you? 

Through your busy thoughts, you heard a quiet noise behind you, the door? Turning around, you see the door is still closed, and there is no one in the room. But you definitely heard something. You looked around the room as you took a few steps into the middle of the room “Hello?” you asked cautiously. 

Hearing another noise behind you, and seeing the light of something brighten the room slightly, you spun around, seeing a bouquet of beautiful red roses appear on the table by the window. You stared at them in awe before being startled by a voice behind you.

“Do you like them?” 

Spinning back around, you see Loki standing behind you, small smile on his face, surely due to your shocked reaction. “Loki?” you asked, exasperated “It was you” you said with an air confirmation. 

“Yes. Are you surprised at this?” he asked, cocking his head slightly.  

You let out an exasperated breath “Well...yes, I mean. You haven’t even been here.”

“Not that you knew of you mean?” he said with a smirk “I am a sorcerer you know.” 

“So you just used your magic?” 

He shrugged slightly in confirmation before he took a few steps closer to you “It seemed easier that way. Less suspicious. I mean, if I were to suddenly show up the same day you began receiving those gifts, and then never left...” he trailed off as he continued to watch you as he stopped in front of you “It would be too easier to figure out.”

You stared at him, unsure of what to do “Did you really mean those things you said in your notes?” 

A small, almost melancholy smile appeared on his face “Of course I did, I’m sorry you even have to question it.”

“I just...all this time, no matter how much my...feelings for you changed, I thought you only saw me as a friend.”

“Not only” he shook his head “But so much more. A friend, confidant, a partner in crime”  he smirked, surely referring to the small pranks you had helped him pull around the tower in previous visits “And, the one person in all my life, that I could truly picture myself loving unconditionally. You believe more than the others that I can be good, and you are the one person I truly want to be good for.” 

You became somewhat breathless as the sincerity in his voice, the way he was speaking was similar to the many confessions he had made about his past to you in secret, in confidence. “Loki-”

He cut you off by bringing his hands to your face “I love you Y/n.” 

You brought your hand up and placed it on top if his, burying your face a little deeper into his palm as you looked into his eyes “I love you too Loki.”

He let out a shaky breath filled with relief as a smile grew on his face as he stroked your face with his thumb, pulling you closer to him and into a deep passionate kiss, sealing the confession permanently. 

When you pulled away, he continued to stare into your eyes with a smile, that you returned. He spoke quietly “Come with me.”

“Where?” 

“Anywhere you want to go, I’ll take you to see the universe if you’d like, as long as it’s by my side.” 

You smiled widely at him “How about everywhere?”

He smiled brightly, the thought of travelling the universe with you filling him with excitement “Everywhere it is.”

xx xx xx xx xx

Hope you liked it! Please consider reblogging if you did :) And check out the other endings if you want~

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

As It Should Be ~ Lucy x Caspian

A/N: Hello lovelies, so this is well out of my wheel house. But thanks to Shadow and Bone I am well and truly back on my Ben Barnes Bullshit. Which included re-watching the Narnia movies and then I had some feels. I'm completely ignoring the books and this is way AU but I couldn't get it out of my head. So if there's any Lucian shippers out there, this ones for you. Spoilers for the movies.

Summary: Lucy had not been ready to leave Narnia. And Caspian had not been ready for her to go. Perhaps fate still had a plan.

Characters/Pairings: Lucy Pevensie/Caspian (everyone is of age, time works funny between the realms); Edmund Pevensie, Aslan

Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of angst, pining, spoilers for the movies.

Word count: 5800 (I don't know how it happened. I just had a lot of feels)

Caspian’s voyage on the Dawn Treader had been a success on all counts. But in spite of his resolve to be a great king of Narnia and to treasure the lands and people he had been chosen to rule, the young king was sorrowful on their return journey. His crew had known better than to question him when he returned alone from Aslan’s country. Drinian put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Caspian clasped it for a moment before giving him a meaningful nod. Drinian got the Dawn Treader sailing for home while Caspian ducked below deck for just a moment to mourn the loss of his friends. When he returned, his smile was not quite so bright as it had been when the king and queen of old had been on the ship.

The crew was happy to be going home, but they also felt the loss of their companions quite acutely. It had taken no time at all for them to love Lucy and Edmund. The younger of the Kings and Queens of old were kind and hardworking and had immediately treated them as old friends. Narnia they supposed was their great love. And while Eustace had taken some extraordinary circumstances to warm up to, he too was missed, and they all found the ship far too silent with Reepicheep’s running commentary.

Their return took nearly six months as they returned all those who had been taken by the mist to their home islands. So, while the crew was joyous to be returning home after nearly two years, everyone was weary when they finally docked on the shores beneath Cair Paravel. Drinian directed the landing team, as more sailors came to help them unload. Caspian gazed up at Cair Paravel in all its glory. It had been mostly restored before he departed, but now, it was back to its true grandure, he wished Lucy and Edmund could have seen this.

He had only a moment before his advisors were upon him, welcoming him back and informing him that a feast was already being prepared for his return. They clamored for his attention, luckily with good news. They each were reporting that peace remained and things had grown even more bountiful in the past six months. Caspian listened carefully making notes on what to discuss with them tomorrow, before finally excusing himself to clean up before the feast.

After what could only be described as the most delicious meal he’d ever had, Caspian took his time reacquainting himself with the halls of his castle. During his time away, the team in charge of the interior restoration had finished all of their projects, which included the portraits of the Pevensies at the height of their rule. He inspected each one closely, trying to find the familiar features of his friends in the older faces.

For the most part he could see it. Although it was odd to see them at that age - all older than his 23 years. Well, all but Lucy. She had been just shy of 21 when they tumbled back through the wardrobe. She was the only one who never mentioned how hard it was to go from being an adult back to being an 8 year old. But he suspected that she struggled more than she let on, though she would never tell her siblings while they suffered their own distress. His thoughts lingered on the youngest of the great kings and queens. He couldn’t help but wonder if his dear friend would look the same when she reached 20 again.

Her portrait hung beside her sister’s and one could easily spot the differences. Susan held a quiet beauty, befitting her title of Gentle. But even the stillness of a portrait could not tame Lucy’s wild beauty and adventurous spirit. He knew well the twinkle of excitement the artist had captured. It was one that never failed to bring a smile to his face.

Caspian had been captivated by Lucy during their time on the Dawn Treader. More than he’d been willing to admit, even to himself. Though he suspected Edmund had seen it. He’d even expected a brotherly talk at one point, since Peter was absent. But he merely smiled, and took every opportunity to let them be together. Drinian had also made more than a few subtle comments, but Caspian had chosen to remain silent.

While the young prince had had eyes only for Susan upon their first meeting in terms of amorous intentions, Lucy’s unwavering faith and goodness had endeared her to him. When she stood across the river with only a dagger in her hand, facing down an army with a smile he could see why she of the four was the Valiant. She was amazing, even at age 11.

Her return 3 years later, had only deepened that opinion. She had matured and Caspian found himself lost in her. He’d been telling the truth when he told her that he hadn’t found a queen as beautiful as Susan, but what he left out was that there had been none as fierce as her either.

The pair had spent every possible moment together – stargazing, checking maps, telling stories. He loved her stories. Queen Lucy the Valiant had truly been a queen of her people. While her siblings had often been on the frontlines of battle, Lucy had always been protecting the people – evacuating them, learning from the healers how to dress wounds that didn’t require her cordial. She was the most beloved of the four, even in the stories Caspian had heard before he met them. Though she would refute that claim a thousand times over.

Other stories were filled with tales of dancing with fauns and dryads. Mr. Tumnus was a frequent character, and Caspian could hear the heartache in her voice when she spoke about him. He would often take the opportunity to squeeze her hand in comfort, which she also responded to with a grateful smile. Edmund would often join in, offering tales of his own or teasing Lucy.

One time in particular, he felt the need to remind her of the time a suitor had come to court and she had been so used to dancing with the fauns during their revelries that she panicked when he had offered his hand for a formal dance.

“All you could hear in the ballroom was Tristan grunting and Lucy apologizing,” Edmund chuckled.

Lucy’s cheeks flamed red and she glared at her brother for a moment, before a smirk slid across her features.

“At least I didn’t end up in a fountain after my first kiss,” she shot back.

Edmund’s cheeks tinged ever so slightly, but his expression was wistful.

“She was lovely. And it was worth it. I hope she had a good life.”

“I’m sure she did. But I’m sure she missed you.”

The siblings shared a look, regrets and memories flowing through their minds. Once again, Caspian was struck by how much life and loss these two “children” had experienced.

Later that night, after confirming their course with Drinian, Caspian was ready to retire to the barracks area for a few hours of sleep. But as he passed his quarters which he had given to Lucy, he heard humming. Moving as quietly as he could, he neared the cabin, noting the slightly ajar door. Caspian couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips as he watched Lucy dance to her own tune as she looked in the mirror, the steps somewhat disjointed. He slipped inside, leaning against the doorjamb, making sure she couldn’t see his reflection.

“Would you like a partner?” he finally asked.

Lucy jumped at the unexpected voice, whirling as her cheeks filled with color upon realizing she’d been caught.

“Caspian! I was just… Edmund made me remember and I thought I’d practice.”

“In case we have a ball on the Dawn Treader?” he asked, grinning wildly at her.

“Of course. I’ve been to many balls on ships,” she giggled before sobering slightly. “No, but there’s dances back home. And I’ve never been, but I suspect they don’t much care for the type of dancing the fauns and dryads do.”

The mention of home twisted in Caspian’s gut, but he pushed the thought away. He would enjoy what time he had with her. Each moment was a gift.

“Well, I don’t know how they dance in your world, but it always helps to have a partner. May I?”

She nodded, uncharacteristically shy.

He snapped to attention and made a formal bow, which made her laugh but she curtsied anyway before taking his hand. He pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles, before placing her hand on his shoulder. His right hand fell to her waist, he his left clasped hers firmly.

“’Ready?”

“Absolutely?”

He wasn’t positive, but they both sounded breathless.

He began to hum, counting the beats by gently tapping his fingers against her side. He gave it a count of 8 before he began to move. It was rough at first, they were both out of practice… and nervous if he was being honest. But after a few crushed toes, they found their rhythm and soon they seemed to float. Caspian waltzed her around the room, twin smiles adorning their faces. Before they knew it, they were simply swaying in place gazing into each other’s eyes.

“I wonder if Susan is dancing like this with her naval officer,” Lucy wondered aloud, regretting it the moment it slipped past her lips. “Oh, I’m sorry, Caspian. I wasn’t thinking.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“Don’t worry, Lucy. I’m not upset. I’m happy that your sister is moving on with her life. No one deserves to be alone.”

“But you’re alone,” Lucy pointed out.

Not cruelly, more confused by his logic.

“I’m not alone right now. I’m with you.”

And I will take that, he thought to himself. Just this moment and whatever else I get.

“Susan and I are worlds apart. In more ways than one,” he added slyly.

Lucy gazed up at him, no longer swaying at all.

“Caspian, I-“

At that moment, the ship lurched sending her crashing into his arms. It lurched again and sent them both to the floor. A storm had reached them and they heard the crew members racing about on deck. They shared one more moment before sprinting into action.

“Your majesty.”

His chief advisor’s voice jostled Caspian from his memories.

“Lord Pallburn. How can I help you?”

“You requested updates on the refugees and the five lords.”

“Of course. We shall speak on the way to my chambers.”

Caspian shot one last look at Lucy’s portrait before leading his advisor away.

Lucy sighed quietly as she watched the happy couple spin around the dance floor.

Years ago, on a ship a world away, Lucy had been held like that. Her thoughts strayed to Caspian and his near obsidian eyes. She had thought of him often in the years since. She wondered how long it had been for him.

Was he married by now?

A father?

Dead?

No.

Her heart couldn’t bear that last one. She had to believe Caspian was alive and well and happy or she wouldn’t be able to carry on.

She shook the thoughts away and returned to the view in front of her.

Susan was absolutely radiant in her wedding dress. Her smile lit up the room as Tom held her in his arms, leaning down for a peck as the song ended. They held hands as they exited the dance floor to chat with their friends.

Peter had his younger daughter, Jane, balanced on the top of his shoes as he moved them about in a decent facsimile of a waltz. Lucy smiled as she remembered her oldest brother doing the same with her when she was much younger.

Edmund was sitting with his girlfriend Margaret and their cousin Eustace laughing quite merrily.

With the exception of her cousin, Narnia had taken on the golden tint of a fond memory. But a memory none the less. Her siblings had been content to leave it at that. Lucy could not find it in her to do the same. Narnia had always felt more like home than this world. A fractured childhood would do that to you she supposed. After all she had grown up in Narnia first.

She still knew their customs and constellations better than England’s. But she knew it wasn’t just that. Her heart lay in Narnia, or rather with the King of Narnia. Caspian had a way of making Lucy feel seen when others didn’t.

“Enjoying the party, Lu?”

She nodded as she looked to Edmund who had slipped into the seat beside her.

“It’s wonderful. Everyone is having so much fun.”

“Everyone?”

“I’m having fun,” she insisted, knowing Edmund could see right through her.

“Talk to me.”

She looked again to the dance floor, eyes flitting from couple to couple.

“Do you think that I could ever find that here?”

“Love?”

Lucy nodded again.

“What makes you think you won’t?” he pressed, avoiding her question.

“I can’t imagine finding anyone to share my life with like that. There’s so much I couldn’t tell them. I don’t know how you all do it.”

Edmund hummed in response.

“Narnia meant everything to me. It made me who I am, but the only one who needs to know about it for it to be real is me. And I’m lucky enough that I got to share it with you, and Peter, Susan, and Eustace. Margaret doesn’t need to know what made me the man I am. Only that that man is someone she wants to be with.”

Lucy regarded her brother carefully for a moment. He’d clearly put a lot of thought into this and she appreciated it.

“I guess that makes sense. I guess I’m not ready to admit that Narnia is my past. Even though I have to.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“Is that the only reason you think you won’t find love here?”

Lucy knew where he was going with this, and finally she sighed – more an exhale after holding one’s breath.

“I think I loved him,” she whispered, not needing to specify who “him” was.

“Loved?” he clarified.

“Love,” Lucy corrected.

“He loves you too for what it’s worth. I could see it. Clear as the Northern Sky.”

“I don’t think it matters much. We’re worlds apart now. He’s probably married by now. I’m not sure how I managed it, but it seems I’ve left my heart in Narnia.”

Edmund wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her into his side. She leaned her head heavily against his shoulder.

“What has been lost, can be found. We just need to have faith about these things. You taught me that.”

Lucy smiled at the reassurance.

“Thank you, Edmund.”

“Anything for you. Would you like to dance? We can even pretend we’re at Tumnus’,” he offered.

Lucy shook her head, but smiled more genuinely than she had all night.

“I think I’m going to take advantage of the gardens, and get some fresh air.”

“It’s not like there isn’t air inside,” he joked making her roll her eyes.

“I’ll be back soon.”

Edmund nodded and squeezed her once more before letting her go.

“Be safe.”

Lucy slipped through the crowd unnoticed, as usual. After a few minutes walking through the gardens she happened upon the entrance to a hedge maze. Looking back at the lights of the reception, she took a deep breath and hurried into the maze, following the turns at random.

It couldn’t possibly be big enough for her to actually get lost.

Caspian perched on the rail of his balcony, one knee up as his back was pressed against the palace wall twirling Lucy’s dagger in his hand. If anyone entered his chambers they wouldn’t be able to see him unless they stepped outside. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the stone enjoying the cool breeze off the Eastern Sea. He had chosen this room specifically for the view of the water. It had always calmed him, and now it held an even more special place in his heart.

In the morning, he would return to his duties as king and this journey would leave the forefront of his mind to make room for diplomacy and logistics. And if his advisors had their way, finding a queen. But for now, as the wind whipped around him, he could imagine that he was back on the Dawn Treader. And if he listened closely enough, he could hear Lucy’s familiar humming. He allowed his mind to run wild with memories.

When the humming only grew louder, even after shaking himself from the sweet memories, Caspian grew concerned. Alert now for possible danger, he scanned the grounds for the source of the sound.

The beach was clear. As were the cliffs to the north. But as he turned his gaze to the south, a flash of auburn hair in the garden maze caught his eyes. She was deep within the heart of the garden without alerting the guards which was no easy feat.

Fastening his sword belt on, he sheathed Lucy’s dagger which she had gifted him on the shores of Aslan’s country.

“I think you’ll need this more than I will.”

“It shall never leave my side.”

You shall never leave my heart had remained unspoken.

Not wishing to alert the guards, Caspian scaled down the side of the castle, jumping from the lowest window and rolling to his feet.

The wind was carrying the humming to his ears quite clearly, as though it was actively helping him find the intruder. At the edge of the maze he took a deep breath before stepping inside. He allowed himself to be led through the turns by the voice, although he was nearly certain it must be a trap. Surely it was a siren or some spell luring him with his heart’s desire. But still he pursued her.

A few times it seemed they were just on the other side of the hedge from each other, but he would round the corner and find only a dead end.

Finally, he caught a flash of lavender fabric whooshing around the corner and he sped up as well as he could while maintaining his stealth. Lucy’s dagger fit comfortably in his hand. Peeking around the corner to ensure she was coming, he waited until she had passed by before leaping out and grabbing her, the dagger pressed against her throat.

“Who are you? And what are you doing here?”

She froze in his arms.

“Caspian?”

The woman squirmed in his grip enough to see his face and in his surprise he let her.

“It is you. How on Earth did you get here?” she asked.

“Lucy?” he mumbled as he released her and she turned to look at him, giving him his first good look at her.

“Yes, it’s me. I know I look a bit different. But goodness, you haven’t aged a day,”

“Lucy,” he repeated before dropping the dagger and pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her neck.

She held him just as fiercely as if he would disappear if she let go for even an instant.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured. “I thought of you every day.”

“As did I. How long has it been for you?” she asked as she lifted her head to look at him, unwilling to break their embrace any further.

“Six months and thirteen days.”

Lucy huffed out a little laugh.

“Is that all?”

Caspian already knew it had been much longer for her. Years, he guessed, given how much she looked like her portrait.

“How long?”

“Six years. Four months. Eleven days.”

She’d been counting. In spite of knowing that Aslan’s plans for Narnia did not include her.

“Oh, Lucy,” Caspian sighed.

Years. She had thought of him every day for years. The knowledge made his heart beat faster.

“It’s okay. You’re here now. How on Earth are you here?” she asked again.

Caspian glanced upward, just to ensure he hadn’t been transported to her world, but sure enough his stars remained, twinkling down at him.

“Lucy, you’re in Narnia.”

Whipping her head around to gain bearings she didn’t know she’d lost, Lucy’s expression clouded with confusion.

“But how? I was at the wedding. I just stepped out for a few minutes –“ She paused and shook her head with a serene smile. “Things never happen the same twice,” she murmured. “Or four times I suppose. I’m not sure how it’s happened, but I am glad to be home.”

Caspian’s heart both clenched and soared at the word home. But he was still stuck on the earlier revelation.

“You were at a wedding?”

His mind raced as he took in her demure dress and artful curls.

Six years, his mind screamed. Even if she had thought of him, of course she would have found someone else in that time.

“Yes,” she affirmed absent-mindedly. “Of Susan will be so cross I’ve left her wedding.”

Elation.

“Susan’s wedding?”

“Yes.” Lucy’s face dropped. “Oh, I’m sorry, Caspian.”

“So you are not married?” he asked, ignoring the apology.

Lucy’s laughter was a balm to his soul.

“Goodness, no. Not even close. The closest I’ve come to marriage was holding hands with Dennis Macmillian when we were 17. And even that was mainly because I was slipping on the ice. I’ve never even gone for a stroll with a boy.”

Caspian smiled, pulling back just enough to offer her his arm.

“Well then, please, allow me. It would be a shame to waste such a lovely Narnian evening.”

“So it would,” she agreed, looping her arms through his. “Tell me everything I’ve missed,” she insisted as they walked deeper into the maze.

“There’s not that much to tell you. We’ve only just arrived back to Cair Paravel this morning. It took us several months to return everyone to their homes before we could return. Beyond that, I’ve just received reports of peace in Narnia.”

“That’s wonderful, Caspian.”

“I’m sure your time has been far more interesting. Tell me everything.”

“Longer doesn’t always mean more interesting.”

Caspian shot her a look of disbelief.

“I’m telling the truth. After the Dawn Treader we stayed with Eustace until the end of the War. After that, once Susan, Peter, and our parents returned, I went back to school. I learned how to become a nurse.”

“Did you now?”

“Mhmm. Top of my class even. It’s been fascinating to learn, although I still think the healers here have a better bedside manner. And goodness have there been days where I wished for my cordial on the job.”

“It sounds intense.”

“It is. But I love it.”

Her smile confirmed it.

“It suits you,” he agreed.

“Besides all that, not much has changed for me. I spend most of my time working or with my family, though that’s been difficult of late.”

“Difficult? Why?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

“They’ve all become convinced I’m doomed to become an old maid. Well, not everyone I suppose. Mainly my parents and Susan. Peter would prefer it that way, over protective as he is. And Edmund, well he just wants me to be happy.”

Despite her comments, the fondness she had for her siblings still shone through.

“I’m sure they all want you to be happy.”

“I know that. I just wish they wouldn’t keep trying to set me up. I think falling in love should happen naturally.”

She glanced up at Caspian who was watching her closely.

“As do I. So it sounds to me that you’re turning suitors down left and right.”

“Hardly,” she scoffed. “Although I think Susan believes that she’ll have a better chance at marrying me off now that she’s officially taken. They’ll have to settle for the lesser Pevensie sister.”

Caspian narrowed his eyes at the assertion, footsteps coming to a halt as he turned to face her.

“In what way lesser?”

“In every way,” Lucy laughed humorlessly.

“You are Queen Lucy the Valiant. The most beloved Queen Narnia has ever seen,” he reminded her, continuing on before she could argue with him. “You are amazing. You are in no way lesser.”

His words made her smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“That may be who I am here. But in my world, I’m just Peter and Susan’s little sister. An afterthought.”

Caspian hated to hear her talk about herself like that.

“Then everyone in your world must be fools. You are valiant and beautiful in every world.”

Lucy found herself unable to hold his intense gaze.

“I’m not beautiful like Susan.”

He lifted her head up with a finger underneath her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“Perhaps not. But you’re beautiful like you. And brave. And kind. And loving. And a million other wonderful things.”

“No one’s ever seen me the way you do.”

“It’s an honor to know you this way, Lucy.”

He reached up cradling her cheek before sliding his fingers into her hair.

“I love you.”

It was a relief to finally say it out loud, and her smile was well worth it.

“I love you too, Caspian. I have for a long time.”

He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I was so scared I’d never see you again,” she whispered.

“I was too. I was certain that I’d lost my chance. But you’re here now.”

“I am.” She looked around and somehow he knew she was looking for Aslan. “But I still don’t know why.”

“I’m sure Aslan has his reasons.”

“He usually does,” Lucy agreed with a smile. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out in time. For now…”

“For now, I’m just going to be grateful. And enjoy every second of my time with you.”

“I like that plan.”

They walked through the gardens for a time before Caspian escorted her up to the castle.

Sure enough they spent the next few weeks enjoying their time together. In fact the entire kingdom rejoiced at the return of their queen. But with no indication as to why she was there, soon a quiet anxiety crept in.

Neither Lucy nor Caspian were willing to make too many plans when they didn’t know when she would be returning, so instead they focused on ensuring Narnia was well taken care of. Lucy helped Caspian reinstate the High Council so that every type of creature was represented. Caspian watched in awe as the land flourished and now that everyone had a voice they found it even easier to keep peace. In fact, many days it seemed there wasn’t much ruling to do at all. So he spent more time with his people than ever, which he loved.

And he grew to love Lucy more every day. He knew at some point that she would have to leave, to return to her family, but he also knew that he couldn’t bear to be without her. His decision was made, although he was sure that many would consider it selfish.

Which is why a year after she arrived, Caspian led Lucy into the maze he had found her in.

“This is quite lovely. We haven’t done this in a while. What brought this on?” she asked as they walked.

“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. And I have a question for you. And I thought this would be the best place to ask it.”

She tilted her head in question, noting the slight nervousness in his voice.

“What kind of question?”

“An important one.”

They had reached the center of the maze and Caspian led Lucy to sit on the edge of the fountain that contained a stone carving of Aslan. He hoped it would bring them the Great Lion’s blessing.

He took both her hands in his as he sat beside her on the edge of the fountain.

“Lucy, my love, ever since I first met you, you have been a source of strength and someone who I have never failed to believe in. On our first adventure I learned never to overlook you, and I am eternally grateful for learning that lesson. Because it allowed me to see you for who you are on our second adventure. On the Dawn Treader, I fell in love with you. And the day I had to say goodbye to you it felt as if my heart would never be whole again. But by the grace of Aslan, you were returned to me. And I have spent the past year falling more and more in love with you. I’m not sure how long we have left in Narnia, but I don’t want to waste another moment without asking you to be my wife.”

She gasped as Caspian shifted down onto one knee.

“There is no other I would bind myself to. I love you, Lucy Pevensie. And my only wish is to have you by my side for as long as you’ll have me. Will you marry me?”

“Of course.”

She tackled Caspian to the ground in a very unladylike move, and kissed him soundly.

“Of course I’ll marry you.”

Caspian’s smile was brilliant as he reached up to cradle her face before pulling her down for another kiss. They reveled in their new engagement alone for a while longer before deciding to return to the castle.

They were nearly out of the maze when they saw a flash of golden fur.

“Aslan?”

Lucy took off after the lion and Caspian was right on her heels. He couldn’t help but wonder at the timing.

They made it back to the fountain and found the lion himself in front of his stone counterpart.

“Aslan, it is you.”

Lucy launched herself at him, burying her face in his fur.

“Hello, dear one.” It came out in a deep rumbling laugh.

Caspian knelt before Aslan, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“Rise, King Caspian.”

“Aslan, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to talk to you about your future, dear one.”

Caspian felt unease coil in his stomach.

“My future here or…?”

Lucy took a step back to stand next to Caspian taking his hand in hers.

“That is your decision to make, Lucy. Your heart longed for Narnia when you returned home. You had not been ready to leave it behind. Is that still true?”

She looked to her betrothed and considered her words carefully.

“I could leave Narnia. But I cannot leave my heart. I cannot leave Caspian. Not again.”

Aslan turned his massive head towards the king – looking at him expectantly.

“Caspian?”

The king lifted Lucy’s hand to kiss her knuckles, looking to her as he answered.

“Narnia was the only home I ever knew. But Lucy is the only home I will ever need. I would leave Narnia if she wished me to. If you would allow it,” he added as he finally turned to face Aslan.

“Caspian?” Lucy gasped at him.

Aslan seemed to nod so Caspian continued, looking back to his love.

“Lucy, in the past year we’ve changed Narnia. It is ruled by its people. As it should be. They don’t need a king. But I need you.”

Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, but there was no mistaking her smile.

“Are you sure?”

“I am,” he assured her.

Lucy kissed him for a moment, before turning to Aslan.

“Aslan, is it possible?”

He huffed a laugh and nodded with a shake of his mane.

“Yes, dear one. It is possible. All is as it should be with Narnia thanks to you. But you both must be sure.”

They shared a look before turning back to Aslan.

“We’re sure,” they said in unison.

“But we must not abandon Narnia this time,” Lucy insisted. “I want to say goodbye properly.”

“Of course. You two can stay as long as you like, you have earned that. When you are ready return to this fountain and take the path behind it.”

They both peeked around as the hedge directly behind Aslan’s statue opened up. If she listened closely Lucy could hear the music of the reception.

“You’ll be returned to when you left,” Aslan answered her unspoken question.

Lucy hugged him again and Caspian joined in this time.

“Thank you, Aslan.”

“Thank you, for all you have done for Narnia. It is better for knowing you, dear heart.”

Lucy and Caspian were married after six months on the day before they stepped down and allowed the high council full rule over Narnia. Surprisingly, no one begrudged them their decision. Narnia was happy and they saw that they could rule themselves and be their own heroes.

Two years to the day after Lucy arrived, they said their final goodbyes to the land that had given them so many gifts, the dearest of which was each other.

Hand in hand they entered the maze and followed the turns to the center. With one last look at the great stone lion, they walked through the hedge behind him, coming out into a dark night. Lucy was once again in her lavender bridesmaid dress. Luckily she had had the foresight to have a suit made for Caspian so he would blend in.

“Shall we?” she asked, excited to see her family after so long. Well so long for her. Just moments for them.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t just wait here until after the wedding? How are we going to explain me just turning up?” Caspian asked, daunted by the new world around him.

It was louder than Narnia, and undeniably strange. Lucy cupped his cheek, and kissed him.

“The evening is nearly over. The others will want to see you. You were at the other party and we ran into each other in the garden. You’re an old friend from our time with the professor. And I insisted that you come say hello and congratulate Susan in person.”

“You’ve thought about this,” he teased, considering the plan in his head.

“Of course. It was the first thing I thought when you threatened me with my own dagger,” she reminded him with a mocking look.

“Oh really?” Caspian chuckled, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Yes. Right after ‘he’s here. Maybe I get to be loved after all’.”

“You are so loved, my valiant Lucy. And I shall love you forever. In every world.”

She smiled up at him, blissfully happy.

“And I you, Caspian.”

They shared one more kiss before walking hand in hand back to reception. Everything was as it should be.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. I've got loads of Ben Barnes feels lately and this is how I'm dealing with it lol. Thanks for reading!

[destinyandcoins]

Fanfic ask! F, H, K

((Ok so I HAD an answer like 75% finished and then tumblr glitched and now all I’ve just got is a blank blue page so....here’s attempt #2))

First of all thank you friend, this is like 15 minutes worth of me ignoring my homework and I very much appreciate it.

for this ask game

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hmmmmmmmmm ok. well in the interest of time, I’m just gonna pull two random moments I really love from two different fics of mine instead of trying to hunt for any actual favorites because that would...take a while.

Five made a thoughtful sound. “Actually that would make sense; the Commission had a file on Dad because he snatched up so many of us miracle babies, and his origin was listed as ‘extraterrestrial’.”

A beat, and then chaos erupted.

“You’re not serious, there’s no way--”  Allison started.

“Okay Five, ha ha, has this whole thing been a joke--?”

“AN ALIEN?” Diego demanded, his voice cracking through two different octaves.

“Wait that’s not--okay maybe aliens are real but Dad?”

“The truth is out there--”

“I KNEW IT,” Klaus was hollering over top of everyone else’s voices. “I TOLD YOU, I F--”

“SHUT UP there is NO WAY--”

“--would have known, we definitely would have been able to--”

“...Well if you think about it--”

Five let out a sudden and piercing whistle that managed to silence all of them.

This is from my TUA Shocktober fic Extra Ordinary, where the siblings have a calm and reasonable discussion about the possibility that their father is an alien. I adore trying to capture the Mass Chaos that is the Hargreeves siblings, and having grown up in a home with six kids I remember fondly those moments where you’re literally screaming to be heard over the rest of them as you all react to one thing or another, and it’s just wonderful pandemonium.

“Vanya!” he cried, catching sight of her slumped over the staircase railing. “Vanya, what day is it today?”

“Um, Thursday? The 16th, I think?” she offered weakly, but Klaus just shook his head.

“Stupid question, I didn’t know what day it was the first time,” Klaus muttered, already heading for the stairs. He waved dismissively at something to his left that could have been Ben, or could have been actual empty air, and called back over his shoulder, “Vanya, honey, go back to bed-- trust me when I say I’ve seen healthier ghosts.”

This is from my Gen June TUA fic If At First You Don’t Succeed. Time loops!! They’re so much fun!!! They’re even more fun when the person who’s in the loop is the least-suited person to be in a time loop! Poor Klaus takes a little while to actually confirm he’s in a loop because. well. he’s disaster. he’s trying his damnedest to stick to ye old How To Time Loop manual (step one: confirm you’re in a time loop), but he’s not really cut out for this kind of thing. Also, I like when Klaus makes jokes about his powers.

H: How would you describe your style?

Style is....hard to describe about yourself, I think. I would say I’m driven more to introspective and emotional hurt/comfort subject material, and as part of that I think my writing tends to be heavy on the stylistic flourishes that will emphasize whatever mood I’m going for and very focused on character’s feelings/reactions/senses. I love to consider perspective/perceptions and playing with an unreliable narrator to great effect....

however. upon actually looking at my published Ao3 works, I see that most of my writing tends towards humorous and makes use of dry or ironic lines to set a specific tone, so. maybe I’m just not a good judge of my own style?

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Welll...........my top two angstiest ideas are not written quite yet but I’m working on them, and in the interest of not spoiling too much I’ll just say there’s one that’s closer to being published (I just don’t want to start publishing until I have more of a buffer), and the opening scene covers a Klaus and Ben who are strangely the only people to have noticed their long-lost brother has just dropped in in time for their dad’s funeral :)

Thanks again for sending this!! <3

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

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Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

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Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

___________________________________________

Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

___________________________________________

Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

___________________________________________

Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

___________________________________________

Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

___________________________________________

Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

___________________________________________

Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

___________________________________________

Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

___________________________________________

Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

___________________________________________

Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

___________________________________________

Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Moral Support | Diego Hargreeves x Reader (Oneshot)

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Words: 1572

Warning: TUA Season 2 Ep 6 Spoilers

-

Diego told you to wait in the car, but of course you weren’t going to listen and he knew that. He had even rolled his eyes when you said you will, followed by the slam of the car door. You waited until they were all inside before you made your way in. You knew what floor it was, so you could just simply use the stairs and your abilities to catch up.

As you walked into the grand lobby, you looked up and smirked. Or you could just fly up. You closed your eyes and concentrated, your long coat turning into wings and as you opened your eyes, they were black like an eagle’s. With a bend of the knees you jumped up with your arms wide open, feeling yourself fly past the floors until you reached your destination. You landed on the railing and made your way to the elevator.

You were planning a grand entrance, but as the metal doors opened, a strong stench flooded the corridor. You shrunk back and cough, making way for the others to flee the confinement.

“Happy that you came?” Diego teased.

“Shut up,” you muttered, shoving his shoulder.

“Come on, let's go. And let me do all the talking, alright,” Five said, walking ahead towards the Tiki Lounge. “And, (Y/n), this is a family matter-”

“I’ll stay out of it for as much as possible,” you said, raising your hands, “No problem, old man.”

“Thank you,” he said, fixing his jacket, “Though I highly doubt that you’ll follow through, at least you're the sensible one. I know you won’t say anything without reason.”

“Whoa,” Luther said defensively.

The others debated who should talk first and how to go about facing their father while you stood to the side, sitting yourself next to Diego. You sighed when Diego chucked the conch that Vanya suggested to use across the room, already getting a bad feeling about this meeting.

“You tried,” you told Vanya, “And I think it would have worked with an even tempered group.”

With the slam of the doors, the group fell silent, watching a younger Reginald Hargreeves stride over towards the head of the table with a book in hand. They all took their seats, an uneasiness washing over them. It had been years since they’ve faced their abusive father, so you couldn’t blame them. Yet, this version of their father doesn’t even know the trauma that he had brought to them in the future.

You kept your promise so far and stayed silent, listening in to their discussion. That is, until Hargreeves wanted them to prove their powers. For a while, you thought you could get away with it by sitting back, but he turned to you.

“And you?” he asked.

“Thankfully, I’m not one of your adopted children,” you said, sipping on your pina colada.

“Then why are you here at this important meeting?” he demanded, staring you down condescendingly. “You have no business here.”

“Moral support?”

Hargreeves scoffed and was about to retort when Diego snapped. He leaned forward. “Look, we know that you’re involved in the plot to assassinate the president,” he started.

You sighed, shaking your head. You told him that Hargreeves being there didn’t mean that he conspired JFK’s assassination. Correlation does not prove causation, but Diego was dead set sure that his dear old dad was up to no good.

“You were recently hospitalized, isn’t that correct?” Hargreeves said. Diego shook his head, knowing where he was going with this. “You still seem to be suffering with delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia.”

“Am I?” Diego took out the photo taken from the Frankel Footage and pointed at it. “Explain this. That’s you. That’s two days from now on the grassy knoll at the exact same spot that the president is gonna get shot.”

Hargreeves took the photo and eyed Diego critically. “Well… I suppose you solved it, then. You single handedly unearthed my nefarious plot. Is that what you want to hear?”

You grabbed Diego's arm, urging him to sit back down, but he shrugged you off. You looked towards his siblings for help, but they were as silent as you were, watching the scene unfold. There was no need for your powers for the extra boost in your senses to tell that Hargreeves was getting to him. Hearing him continuing to criticize Diego might also be getting to the others as well, even Vanya, who was lowering her head.

As the insults kept hitting, the cold hard truths in the form of knives stabbing Diego over and over in the wounds that hadn’t quite healed, he slowly slunk down in his seat. This time, you gripped his arm and he let you as he shook.

“-A man in over his head!” Hargreeves concluded.

“Y-y-you’re w-w-wro-ng,” Diego managed to reply.

You knew Diego had been cut deep when he started stuttering again.“Okay! Time for my role as moral support,” you said, setting down your drink. “Listen, Reggie. Diego is someone who wants to save people and save the world because he’s a kind and compassionate person that wants to do good, not because he’s a calculative soldier following orders from a man who shows more affection to his experimental ape than his own adopted human children. The fact that the apocalypse could have been prevented had you been a goddamn father for them says a lot about you and what you think you’re achieving, so I suggest you hold off your tactless psychological analysis, that is clearly not going to give you any positive results, to yourself and listen to them for once. Thank you.”

“(Y/n),” Five said, reaching over to grab your shoulder.

“What?”

He pointed up at lights hanging over the table. Small black dots were falling down and landing on the table, crawling towards Hargreeves. Black widows. Your tongue tapped your incisors, confirming that fangs had grown. You looked around at the table, no one but Five and Diego meeting your eyes. You took a deep breath, feeling the fangs retreat along with the small spiders.

It was Diego’s turn to pull you down and you let him. He squeezed your arm in a sign of gratitude. You nodded, then looked back at Five. Once he knew you were calm, he pushed the discussion forward about the upcoming Doomsday.

Hargreeves was condescending as ever, acting as if it wasn’t his problem to deal with. Klaus began to act weird and you closed your eyes, switching them to cat eyes. Although cats can’t see ghosts as clearly as Klaus, they have an awareness of where they are. Ben was here.

You rushed over as Klaus collapsed, managing to let out a faint confirmation that Ben was trying to possess him. After Luther’s outburst, showing Hargreeves what he had done to him, Hargreeves simply dismissed him and walked around you as you heaved Klaus up. He eyed you curiously before continuing forward, requesting to speak to Five in private.

“Come on, big guy,” you said, “Help me?”

Luther stood there, dumbfounded, before snapping out of it, picking up Klaus with ease and dragging him all the way to the elevator. He propped him against the back wall and the others piled in, Diego being the last one and the nearest of the door.

“Congratulations,” Allison said to Luther.

“For what?”

“I think that was the first time ever that you stood up to dad,” she said, sounding impressed and Luther hadn’t realized about that until now.

“Are you okay?” Vanya asked Diego.

He was silent for a moment, looking at you, then glancing at the others over his shoulders. “So much for having my back in there,” he muttered, “Team Zero, my ass. At least (Y/n) said something, and they haven’t even met the guy before.”

“Dee, I’m pretty sure the only reason I could say anything, that I was the only one that could say anything, was because I never met him before,” you said, defending the others. “It’s not completely their fault. I wasn’t the one that had to grow up with his toxic bullshit, okay? You guys did. I give you guys credit for even coming all the way here in the first place to face him.”

“Well, you gave us too much credit,” he said, walking out as soon as the doors opened.

You muttered your farewells to the others before rushing after Diego. You stopped him outside by the curb, grabbing his arm. He whipped around and pointed a finger at you in warning.

“Diego, he’s an asshole. That’s a massive understatement,” you said, “but all those things he said does not change all that you’ve accomplished on your own. You survived with the cards that you were dealt with. You saved people.” Diego shook his head, turning to walk away but you held firm. “You saved me, remember?”

“Thought you said that you had that situation handled,” he said, his cheekiness slowly getting back.

“I’m not afraid anymore to admit that I needed a little help back then,” you said, “I’m always here if you need to talk, Dee.”

Diego sighed, closing his eyes and pressed his forehead against yours. “I know.”

He opened his eyes and saw a familiar figure moving in the parking lot. Just like that, he was off. And, like always, you made sure he didn’t go and get himself killed.

[bensonstablers]

So, all things considered, I’m high key obsessed with how the show ended? Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d much prefer to get a season 5 (at least) and let it end properly with intent but considering it was cancelled, I honestly feel so lucky that this is how it ended.

Because, sure, there’s a lot left really open but it’s all things where their future conclusions can kind of be guessed? 

Of course, everything I’m about to say from here on out is pure speculation based mostly on what we’ve seen on the show with a bit of my bias and desires thrown in, haha, but stiiill...

Let’s start with the Hills.

Even if they do go away, which I think they will and probably before they find out about Annie. In fact, they might already be gone by the time she’s in handcuffs. Presuming there would’ve been a time jump at the beginning of season 5 — which I think there would have been — we might get some glimpses into the Hills’ lives before they inevitably return to Detroit because they will. Failing that, the show might have jumped between them in their new lives and the others back in Detroit but come on, they’re coming back eventually. We know this. We also know Ruby and Stan are going to be fine, even if they argue or even if it becomes clear moving wasn’t the right choice and leads to a (temporary) breakdown in their relationship, they always come back together. 

I think getting away would’ve shown Stan what Beth’s dream sequence showed her: things won’t change. No matter what’s been said it’s clear Stan still believes that half the things going on with Ruby are because of Beth but being away from her will probably show him that’s not true and leaving really didn’t change a thing. Plus, I think it would’ve become clear that he can’t break Beth and Ruby up, haha.

Then there’s Annie.

We know at some point she’s getting out of prison. Either Beth pulls strings to get her out and possibly even gets the help of Rio or even Phoebe who — and this is where my personal desires really come in — might continue to battle with her moral compass to decide what lines she’s willing to cross because she knows Annie didn’t commit those crimes and the law doesn’t always work. And let’s say Annie does get out. It could be for good, it could just be on bail. A time jump would cover her initial time in prison (or time out on bail) and bring us closer to a court day which could mean Beth doesn’t pull strings but we see Annie getting off in a somewhat legal way. Or hell, maybe she spends a good chunk of the season inside. Maybe the whole season. I doubt it but even if she does, she will get out, just like Ruby (and the Hills) will return home.

And we also know that Greg(g) still cares about Annie and a part of him is possibly even still a little in love with her so there’s no way he’d take Ben from her, at least not entirely, and we’ve seen how much Ben has changed/grown (including his relationship with Annie) so if he finds out the truth about everything, there most likely would’ve been an exploration of that (like there was with Sara), but there’s no way he would turn his back on her. At least not forever.

And then Beth.

We can presume her new council position would’ve been throughout season 5. No doubt — especially if there was going to be a time jump — her divorce would’ve been settled and a custody agreement in place. If Annie’s in prison or going on trial, that would be her main priority. At least to begin with.

Tying into that would be Rio because he’s working with her. There’s that whole, “you got it, boss” moment but god, there’s just so much there. This is really the first time that, other than maybe 1x04 (and that era), where they’re mutually deciding to work together and not one worming their way into the other’s business or being forced to work for one another. She says he works for her now and the fact he agrees is a verbal confirmation that he’s relinquishing some of his power because arguably, he wouldn’t have wanted to give that up before when he had Nick on his back. There’s already limited power for him to give, why give it to someone who’s new? Someone he could simply just have power over but he doesn’t need to now.

And listen, I really highly doubt it would have been Beth in a boss position with Rio on her payroll doing anything and everything she said. What feels like the likely scenario is that they’ll work together. Like, sure, she might have a slight edge over him but I don’t see it being a repeat of Nick’s control over him, I don’t see Rio letting that happen again. The last two episodes showed trust, communication (albeit minor), and as I said, a relinquish of (some) power.

Even if I’m wrong, which we’ll never know now, but let’s say I am, they’re still going to be working together in season 5 and everything screams that it’ll be different to the previous times because it benefits them both and presumably quite equally. Will it be smooth sailing? Doubtful. But if the finale suggests anything, it’s that they’ll be together (at least in business, but who knows where else it would’ve gone).

And honestly based on that conversation with Nick in 4x16 — and maybe this is my desires really creeping in again — Rio would help with Annie because even if it’s not out of the goodness of his heart, Beth’s priorities would no doubt be there and her focus on the business could slip in a dangerous way. It’s beneficial all-round to get Annie out whereas, at least at the time, getting Dean out wasn’t so much (plus we know his strings were through Nick who probably wouldn’t have helped with Dean anyway). Still, there is the possibility that he believes it’s good all round if Annie stays in prison and that she takes the blame but that could still lead to her getting less prison time or a miss-trial or whatever so it won’t come back on anyone else. I mean, we have to remember putting her prints on the gun was Annie’s idea and was to protect Beth, she might even want to stay in prison if it means keeping the heat off of Beth.

My point is, every part of the open-ending has at least one definite detail. Like, Stan and Ruby would be fine and would eventually come home. Annie would get out of prison (or no longer be under arrest) at some point (there could possibly be a trial). And Beth would be divorced and co-parenting. As well as that, she and Rio would’ve actually worked together and been on the same side in a way that, let’s be honest, they’ve never fully been.

Like, it’s speculation, plain and simple but there’s no way we wouldn’t have gotten that bare minimum for the girls (and Rio, technically, although I do believe there’s more for him too). So really, the “cliffhangers” — the Hills possibly leaving, Annie being arrested, Beth and Rio’s new roles/working relationship — they all have obvious directions (albeit multiple options) and the fact a tv series finale, that wasn’t supposed to be the final ever one, left so much open for exploration but still managed to offer some guidance to how it could go and the key things that might (or: probably will) happen, it’s the better kind of open-ending for sure.

Again, I want a season 5, but based on all the season finales we’ve had, I’m so happy it was this one that became unintended end for the show.