#/ see u whenever my hiatus is up i can’t even remember what it is so someone pls yell at me

[lavender-phannie]

Hi hello I wanted to share my story of how I started watching dnp bc everyone’s stories are so fun! Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I tend to overthink and write every little detail and it’s a lot lmao.

So it was January 2016 and I had recently got a Wii U (I only had a Wii for a while lmfao) and I was super into Mario kart 8. I got super hyperfixated on like Mario game soundtracks out of nowhere and idk how I remember this but it was specifically the super Mario world overworld theme that I watched when an ad started playing. It was Dan and Phil promoting TABINOF going to Barnes and Noble in the us and for some reason I was interested and didn’t skip. I don’t remember who I looked up first but I watched a ton of videos right away.

The first Phil video I watched was of him watching his old home videos of his childhood, and I think the first Dan video was the one where he looked at his 12 year old website and I thought the do not click section was super funny. I think the first gaming video was Mario kart 8, and I found out about undertale bc of their playthrough lmao. I know the exact date (January 16 2016) bc I wrote a little journal entry about it for some reason lmao.

Anyways time went on, I kept watching them throughout all of middle school, I went to tatinof in Vegas when I was literally 12 years old despite being from the east coast and having to fly there?? I went to II in a state that was closer to me in 2018 lmao, and I just kept watching them even throughout the gaming channel hiatus bc despite not being as hyperfixated they still meant a lot to me and I loved seeing what they had to say whenever they uploaded on their main channels.

The gaming channel revival has made my hyperfixation stronger and I’m excited for what’s next :)

Oooh anon you and I joined the fandom at a very similar time! (I joined December 2015) and they also introduced me to undertale!

Anyway wow!!! Their ads actually worked that’s wild??? I was about to say I can’t imagine getting a fandom related ad but then I suddenly had this memory come back to me where I got an ad for a song called “thank you dan and phil” when I was like 14 and honestly it was a banger I listened to it a lot after that!! (Sorry random tangent 😅)

And same all through the hiatus I stuck by them (mostly, I think I had a brief dip in interest at one point) cause they impacted me so much as a young teen!

[darkpurpledawn]

ladling out a bowlful of hubris as I do the fanfic asks game even though I’ve been taking a writing hiatus this whole spring and summer

thank you for the tag @heavens-bookshop!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

14. I tend to leave shorter stuff (<2500 words) on tumblr, but I have several works on Ao3 shorter than my longest tumblr ficlets

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

143,641. someday I’d like to write a fic that’s longer than that. baby steps

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

...it’s pretty much all Good Omens. back in early 2019 I wrote a few bits and pieces of (MCU) Thor fanfic, but GO is the only thing I’ve published!

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost (3k, G)

Exactly what it says on the tin, in fake review format

A Visit to the Pet Shop (2k, T)

Outside POV of the herp supply store owner who encounters Crowley and Aziraphale

In Mixed Company, Or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell (52k, M)

Continuing the trend of spelling the whole fic premise in the title. it delights and amuses me to no end that this one is included in the collection “Fics in which Gabriel doesn’t suck”

Come Adore on Bended Knee (and Other Ways to Make an Angel Rejoice) (5k, M)

Friends to mutual blowjobs speedrun, Christmas edition

There Were Angels Dining at the Ice Cream Parlour (2k, T)

My first fic from back in the heady summer days of 2019

All of these are from the time the fandom was just straight up bigger, but looking at patterns among my own fics it seems like weird formats, smut, and very long and specific titles tend to do well, all of which Checks Out

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! I feel like a goof writing replies, but I am super grateful for them and I do attempt to respond, albeit erratically. I don’t usually reply to comments that are just a few words or emojis, not because I don’t appreciate them, but because I feel a little obnoxious writing a thank you that’s longer than the comment??? idk I’m probably overthinking it

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

SO when I first started writing fanfic, I thought I was going to write all unresolved pining historical fics all the time, and accordingly, my first chaptered fic, A House in the Country, is a melancholy 1920-set slice of life in which Aziraphale and Crowley take a trip to the Lake District and pine for each other. I don’t think it’s super angsty but it ends on a somber note

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I was going to say no, but then I remembered one of my absolute favorite things I’ve written is technically a Good Omens/Macbeth crossover

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, inclined towards “lots of foreplay and then a weird but hopefully suggestive sequence of metaphors, all in some kind of Uncertain and Forbidden Situation”

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No I keep my fics locked in my fic safe and u can’t have em

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, not yet

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Aziraphale/Crowley, definitely. Also shoutout to Hermione/Ron and Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy...apparently my type is Person Who Excelled At Formal Education/Redhead, And They Argue A Lot

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

hey hey hey I am going to finish both of my Good Omens WIPs! I do have an unpublished horror comedy WIP that I’d like to post around Halloween but am completely stuck on because I can’t decide what it should be rated, so I may use parts of that for other things if I can't pick a tone

15) What are your writing strengths?

*Mike Wazowski voice* These are the jokes, kid

I’d also say I can write sexual stuff that is not repetitive and dialogue that sounds in character. Oh, and I genuinely enjoy writing titles and summaries!

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

besides…not writing…

On a structural level, I have a tendency to take too long getting to first plot beats and then rush endings. On a sentence level I think I have a terminal case of Dependent Clause Disease that genuinely interferes with clarity

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

No real thoughts other than whenever I am reading an old book and someone says something in gratuitous French or one of the 12 expressions I know in Latin I feel very Smart bc the fifth grade snob lives within me

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It’s been so interesting seeing responses to this question from people who have been writing fic since their early teens or childhood! I didn’t write any fanfic before 2019 or any fiction at all except for school projects. I wrote maybe 1k words of Thor fanfic that summer and then went straight on to Good Omens

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

In Mixed Company, for sure. I’m hopeful that when I finish current WIPs it’ll be Lest They Be Flatmates though!

tagging @lenore-is-lost and @mllekurtz if you'd like, and anybody else who sees this post!

[ajaxeology]

SHERRYY CONGRATULATIONS ON 200!! ✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧ you deserve it so much, i love reading your works (you transition so smoothly between ur words?? hello pls lend me ur powerr!!) and im so excited for more things to come from your blog!! and also your series,, AAAAAAA

also may i rq a matchup?? honestly idm any gender, romantic or platonic (im interested in who u think would fit my type or be friends with me either way!! that sounds so cool) im pretty much an ambivert, sometimes im so extroverted and other times im just,, ಠ_ಠ i love books, doodling, sweet foods, and sleeping or not sleeping at all HAHSBDB sunrises are definitely preferred over a sunset and dislikes might just be nuts?? LOL but if there are a cons about someone/a character i would like to work it out with them so im not specifically disliking any character traits,, fun fact might just be that im allergic to peanuts? sorry this is so long HAHSHD but im excited to see what u come up with!! thank you for ur timee sherry :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO <3!! I'm coming back from hiatus so I could give this to you hehe. And aaahhh Boo pls, your compliments are high praise. I hope you like this matchup!

I match you up with Kazuha (romantic)!

Kazuha would be able to keep up with how you're feeling that day. You don’t even need to tell him how you’re feeling even at a particular point in time. He’d be able to tell and he’ll match with your energy levels. If you're feeling extroverted, he'll probably find ways to pull you into conversations. If you're feeling introverted, he'll do the opposite.

I can see Kazuha reading together with you as well. You and him, sitting at the deck of the Alcor and reading in the cool breeze. Sometimes, you’ll sit snuggled up close beside him and you’ll read the same book together. Both of you take turns flipping the pages. Occasionally, he’ll probably read it out loud to you (then ask for a kiss every few pages).

Honestly, I think Kazuha is a fairly artistic person (given how he enjoys being poetic and playing music), so he’d doodle with you. He’ll probably do some secret sketches of you as well. When you find the sheets of paper with your sketches stashed in his room, he acts nonchalant that you find it but he’s pretty embarrassed. He’ll probably try to cover his bashfulness up by saying things like “The weather was picturesque that day and I thought it’d be breathtaking to remember it with you in it”

Kazuha probably doesn’t mind staying up with you, but to discourage you from sleeping late often, he’ll tell you that the sunrise will be crystal clear early the next day to try to get you to sleep. Though, he appreciates how on the nights that he can’t fall asleep, he knows you’ll be there.

I have a feeling that there are nuts in the storage room in the Alcor for food consumption (I did some googling and sailors had nuts as part of their diet whenever they went out to sea). The chef is aware that you’re allergic to peanuts, but Kazuha will always steal glances at your food to make sure that there isn’t any in your bowl. He’d willingly pick the nuts out for you since you dislike them.

He knows you like sweet foods, and sometimes I feel like he'd steal them from you to tease you. Say he's holding on to some tri-colour dango and he feeds you the dango. He tells you to say "ahhh" and open your mouth and you do, but he ends up eating that one for himself.

Kazuha is someone who you can be straightforward with as well with the traits about him that you’d like to work out. He’ll be able to come up with a compromise for the both of you if it’s something that he feels he cannot entirely change.

I couldn't come up with headcanons for characters platonic-wise, but I feel like you would be good friends with Yoimiya, Itto and maybe Yunjin!

[zhowongli]

hello! i started a new thread because the other one (+ this one) got really long, so sorry! but i guess this is my love letters to you guys because you’ve made my tumblr experience so, so much better && i’m grateful for all of you guys + all of my mutuals and followers!!

first of all, @himawari-senpaii thank you so so much for your kind words! meggi, i love your sunflower motif because it suits you so well! sunflowers make me smile whenever i see them, and it really brings me so much joy to see you on my dash/notifs. your tags are always so fun and sweet. thank you for tagging me in this 🥺 

@animoozies connie, where do i even start? you were my very, very first tumblr mutual on this account! i’m so thankful you reached out to me before, and you’re still checking up on me even now. words can’t describe how much i adore you + how appreciative of you! when i see you on my dash with your stories, i always end up cackling because you’re so fun. idk how you do it working all those hours + going to nursing school, but you is a mf boss ass queen!!

@hoekaashi ash, my queen!! my tag for you is my day is blessed because ash ✨exists✨ because that’s honestly how i feel about you. i am truly blessed with your kindness, your humor, your friendship, you. thank you for always keeping me company through our struggles in pharmacy school! you are one of the realest people i know, and i feel so honored that you always send me random kenma pics & fics you think i’d like 🥺

@kanao annette, the other half of my soul, my whole heart, my literal soul sister. you are one of the biggest blessings i’ve received this year, and i honestly don’t know where i would be without you listening to my dumb shit and supporting me through all my mess LOL. thank you for validating me all the time, even if it’s just stupid stuff like enabling me to buy all the random stuff that i’ve been thinking about LMAO. i love how we are always ✨speaking✨ and  ✨manifesting✨ good things in our futures together. i literally feel like i can talk about any and everything with you, and i love that about us 🥺 i am manifesting that beach vacation 2021 for us, okay!!! 💖

@sapphitedreams leo, my cutest menace in the kitchen 💖 thank you for reaching out to me when i was too shy to reach out to you uuuu. you’re such a chaotic calm in my life, and i love your energy. i am constantly in awe with how adorable, supportive, and creative you are! even though you bully me sometimes and only make things for characters’ birthdays, you are so so talented and it floors me every time i see your creations because they are so amazing idk how they’re real. i hope you are able to get some rest even if you have to work during your break (& i hope you don’t accidentally fall during work anymore smh HAHAH)!

@onefortyninecm danielle!! my love!! i know i mention this before, but i am always so so inspired by you. you’re so tiny, but you have such a big heart and soul. you’re so beautiful inside and out + your humor is god tier. i’m so glad you were the very first person i’ve ever commissioned from (& spiraled me into comissioning indulgent kenma art HAHAHA), and i’m still amazed by your talent and kindness every time you post something new omg. i still can’t believe you DREW ON YOUR PHONE what the heck!! you’re so talented it’s crazy HAHA. i’m always thinking fondly of you + dandy wedding in a pumpkin patch 2021, okay thanks. 

@p-irozhki rissa!! i am so blessed with all the gifs you create and all your content on my dash! whenever i think of you, i think about all the smol icons you use because to me, you = cuteness = i wanna hug you so much!!! i think i already said it, but i’m always so thankful when you read all my self-indulgent fanfics and leave kind comments on them 😭 thank you for culturing me about mangoes HAHAHA. there’s never a bad time with you, and i’m thankful we got to meet this year!

@hoshino-a lena lena! you actually have so much bde that i am in constant awe by you. you are such a baddie & i have this like clear imagine in my head of you with crisp and clean vibes + the skies from your pfp on discord, hehe. i love you and all your brain rots about your exes. at this point, every time i see semi, my first thought is “ah it’s lena’s ex” and whenever i hear some sad song, i would be like “omg it’s lena ab her ex semi eita” LMFAOIOAGJDLA. i love talking to you because your energy is just immaculate + i just love your presence 💖 also please get some sleep because do you even sleep 😭 

@myelocin nic!! you’ve painted my world in so many iridescent shade so life, i can’t even begin to describe how much you mean to me. you works are just so beautiful so imagine how much i shrieked when i saw you followed me LMFAOOADIGDALJ i love that your blog is your safe space because it has become a place of comfort for me as well (and i’m going to miss you so much when you leave 😭😭). your makki brain rot is so strong, and sometimes i think about makki and you making dinner and teasing each other and throwing flour at each other or something idk. this is nic’s world now and we are all living in it tbh. 

@tsu-kiss nina!! you are someone i find such comfort in. i’m not really sure if that even makes sense LOL. but your blog and you are a source of comfort for me. in my head, you have such an older sister vibe even though i’m older than you LMAOOADGHDAKJ. i hope life is treating you well because you deserve all the best!! seeing you thrive makes my heart so full 🥺 i love you so much!!

@souheii lisa!! i kid you not, the first time you dropped an ask in my ask box, my heart skipped a beat because you told me you love me and i love you and you are so cute and i cri!!!! i know we don’t talk often, but every time i see you on my dash or in my notifs or when we do talk, it’s like a little shot of serotonin every time :”) thank you for being such a lovely human being mrs. iwaizumi hajime, 27, althetic trainer😭

@ultkags​ cas!! my first child 💖 i know you’re on a hiatus right now because school really, really sucks BUT you are seriously one of my biggest blessings. you are literally my ray of sunshine because every time i talk to you, i gain so much warmth and energy from you. every time i see your edits, it absolutely AMAZES me because i literally don’t know how i am able to see all your edits FOR FREE?? all your thoughts behind the composition and symbolism for each piece is CRAZY. please remember that i’m always your biggest fan + i love you so so much. please take care and remember to drink water and get some rest!! your grandma is always here to send you love + forehead kisses because this grandma can’t bake :(

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum​ ree!! hi, i know we’ve only started talking recently but i love how open and warm you are. our love was so strong that even tumblr tried to stop us 😭 conversations with you are always so easy and lovely, and you are just such a cool person!? i love reading all your thoughts (& i can’t wait to dive into your masterlist after school ends because we live for fluffy tsumu content 😭). i’m not sure why you even follow me, but i adore you so much!!

@neonghxst​ el, where do i even begin!! you are such a lovely person, and i literally have no other words to say because you always leave me speechless. your writing is so so gorgeous, and you are so so beautiful. i love reading all your stories because they truly leave an everlasting impact on me, and i love reading your interactions + just seeing you on my dash. you are so thoughtful, and you take care of everyone around you so well. i hope that you are also giving yourself the same treatment because you deserve all the best as well! remember to drink water in between your coffees and get some rest as you go into your final 2 weeks of the semester!! 

@und3lla​ maliha! hi love! i know we haven’t spoken much or in a while, but i really do always think of you randomly. you were one of the first mutuals i made && you are such a sweet soul. i love how every time we talk, it really fills me up with happiness. thank you for just being such a lovely person && you truly are one of the softest people i’ve met. thank you <3

@deadontheinsidebut angel, my dumb ham, my queen, my hoe (heaven on earth), my everything. i know you are also on a semi-hiatus right now because everything that’s going on, but i hope you are properly taking care of yourself >:( i’m always here to remind you to drink some water in between your coffees and teas and to GET SOME REST. you are so so driven, and i really admire how open and friendly you are. you truly are your namesake because you are literally an angel, and i always feel so blessed to be in your presence (even if you bully me sometimes for being a boomer 😔). words can’t describe how much i love you and care about you && i hope that you are able to find what you’re looking for during your break! 💖

@rumprich​ ananya! hello! i am so thankful to see you and all your content on my dash. you have so much creativity, and all your edits are so aesthetically pleasing to look at? like it’s so light + pretty!! i’m so so grateful that we are mutuals somehow because ahhh i really don’t deserve you. you are so adorable, and i truly am blessed to see your presence! 

@yuki-souma​ vee! i know we only started talking very very recently, but you are so much fun to talk to! i love how diverse our conversations are, and i love that we have similar favorites, and even when we don’t, it’s always a fun conversation that i look forward to! i love how open and inviting you are, and i’m really grateful that we are mutuals + i love and appreciate you so so much! 

@owlywrites​ owly! hello! you are seriously one of the most supportive souls i’ve met on this website. your kindness and drive to learn always leaves me speechless because you’re so amazing. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope you extend that same kindness to yourself! don’t be so hard on yourself and remember to take breaks and take care too. you are such a beautiful soul, and i hope you’ll remember that i’m always here to support you!! 

@graphicstills-in-motion hi arianne! thank you so so much for always being so kind to me. i don’t know what i did in life to deserve you, but i must have done something right to have someone so kind like you in my life! thank you for being such a sweet soul + always boosting everyone around you up. your kindness is definitely contagious! i love seeing your edits and reading our conversations because there are always so many thoughts put in. thank you <3

@applepienation​ justine! thank you so much for always checking in on me whenever i post random shit on my dash. i really do appreciate you and all that you do for not just me, but also for everyone around you. you are such a ray of sunshine, and i’m so thankful that you’re in my life! i know uni is crazy for you right now, but i hope you’re still taking time to take care of yourself! sending you lots of love and positive energy!!

@touyax​ drake! hi love. i absolutely LIVE for your tags LMAOOADJGALD. they are literally my thoughts but you just typed them out HAHAH. i’m so thankful that i get to see your beautiful content on my dash, and i’m always in awe by all your edits! thank you for always being such a fun person + never leaving me feeling like a fool whenever i post ask games LOL. i love and appreciate you so much! 💖

@kagehjna​ ilayda! my kagehina supplier 🥺🥺 i love seeing your presence on my dash because you truly post all the best things! you are such a lovely person + i love reading your tags HAHA. you are truly a joy and we will definitely have matching kagehina icons one day okay 😭😭 12/7 is finally here/coming SO I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! thank you for always blessing me <3

@sadaharus hi mei! you are literally the definition of softness to me. all your content and edits are just so soft and beautiful, and i love seeing everything you post. you are my main gintama supplier HAHA. i really appreciate how kind you are + how you’re always so sweet to me. 🥺 i know it’s kinda funny how i started following you because of a random ask game, but i’m so so glad i did because i always feel so thankful you’re here! 

@fake-charliebrown charlie! my little sprout babie!! i have so much admiration for you because you have so so much talent! your style is so distinctive, and i love that!! it’s so soft + vibey, and i’m honestly so so amazed by it all. not to mention, you have the best haikyuu thoughts! thank you for sharing all of that with me! i’m thankful for you, thank you <3

@itachihaa​ ay! my froggy princess 🥺 thank you for always being so kind to me + having the patience to deal with how slow i am to responding!! i’m really appreciative of you always because you make/have so much beautiful content and you are so so sweet as well!? and the way you call me miss starlight 🥺 that makes me so soft like!! uuu i love you. 

@stardust-make-a-wish​ star! you are so so adorable!! i LOVE reading your tags because they make me feel so fuzzy and soft but also relatable HAHA. your presence is such a joy + thank you for always interacting with me even though i just spam random stuff LMAO. i love how thoughtful your answers are + how much you love cake/sweets (very suiting because you are so sweet 🥺). thank you for being interested in me even though i am the one asking you questions! 

@karasu-hoes​ daisy! hello! i have so much admiration for you because you have so much creativity and kindness! like your events are so cool and unique + your writing is so beautiful! i love reading your feral thoughts + all your work. i also really love reading your witching hours!!! thank you for blessing me with you 🥺 you are always so kind + i love how much you care about your friends and the people around you. i hope you’re taking care while renewing your teaching certifications! 💖

@frailuta nico! hello love! i know we haven’t really spoken before, but i just want to know i love you so much. you make the most beautiful gifs + i truly am in awe every time you post something. life is tough sometimes, but you are tougher! sending so so much love and positive energy to you + please remember to take care! <3

to all my mutuals and followers: thank you so so much for sticking with me and my mess of a blog. i honestly don’t really contribute much to anything, but i’m so thankful you guys are still here! thank you, thank you, thank you! i love and appreciate all of you guys + my ask box/messages are always open if you want/need someone to talk to 💖 thinking fondly of everyone today + so much love to you guys mwah mwah!

[mediicusvitae]

@videcoeur​​ asked:  🍒 + muselexum c:

@muselexum​ | Positivity meme – Not accepting!

{ I apologize for taking so long to answer these, but there is just so much to say! }

Lexi, you are a fellow OPRP dinosaur and we have shared this space for such a long time. I remember your old blogs as such a huge part of what made this community so welcoming and fun to be a part of. I remember seeing your art years ago and you have improved so considerably while still maintaining your trademark style which I absolutely adore. We both went on hiatus for several years and while it's a shame that we haven't gotten around to it sooner, I am beyond happy that we really got to know each other after our return to the community last year! I feel like it just clicked with you!

You are such an incredibly talented person and a true inspiration to me, whether it's art, edits or writing. Not only that but you're also hilarious, like damn, leave some charisma for the rest of us ;u; Your heart of gold is so full of kindness and compassion and your brain is filled to the brim with wonderful and angsty ideas and I feel so blessed that you share them with me.

It's so easy to talk to you, and as a person who often struggles to reach out to people due to fearing that I come off as overbearing and/or annoying, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this ease in our conversations, no matter the topic. Whenever we talk, you are always so supportive and kind and I am so grateful for it. I never feel awkward running ideas by you and it's always an absolute blast to chat with you.

You are a phenomenal writer with such a good grasp on all of your muses. I just love interacting with them, whether they are canon characters or original ones – they all feel like a part of the One Piece universe to me. The first that comes to mind when I think of your blog is, of course, Akane! She is such a wonderful example of a well-developed character who feels like a real person with her own drive/past/personality! I love how you explore all of her facets and the complicated relationships that weave into her fate. *clenches fist* I JUST WISH YOU AND JULIE BOTH WOULD LET HER BE FINALLY HAPPY. DAMN YOU CROCODILE. Even your less active muses like Birdie and Lily are absolute joys to interact with and see on the dash. And you already know how I feel about Haru because I LOVE this badass manipulative cat lady with a horrible past! Rayleigh as well is so much fun to meme about and write with. I really wish that I could have interactions with all of your muses because I am hella greedy and they are simply amazing. I’m enjoying all of our threads immensely and I am always excited to get a reply from you, despite our steadily growing piles c': Just throw them all at me, I am waiting here with open arms.

Every day I feel so blessed that you reached out to me concerning AceLamy because I absolutely ADORE our little ship to bits. It might be the rarest of rare pairs and initially sounds like such a bad idea regarding Lamy's fire PTSD but it works and it's beautiful. They are such a delight and I can't wait to draw more fanart of them because they are both precious, hilarious and heartbreaking together ;u; The potential for fluff/healing/comfort and loss/hurt/death is endless with this ship and I am so looking forward to developing it further with you! I feel so blessed to have you as a ship partner, honestly.

"Do you put the balls in the condom too?" still cracks me up Every. Single. Time.

Lexi, I adore you, you are such a brilliant, beautiful person, a true meme connoisseur, incredible writer and artist. An all-round inspiration to me and a wonderful friend. You enrich my life. Here's to sharing more angsty 2000s AMVs and memes with each other! ♥️

Ps. I know I don't have to give your love back. I want to because you deserve it.

[julia-highstorms]

Jane Is Here (ILITW AU) - Chapter 6

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would have happened if Jane had survived the game and got a chance to grow up with her friends?

Disclaimer: all the characters belong to Pixelberry Studios.

Note: Gender neutral MC. BACK FROM HIATUS AGAIN!!!! I was going to publish it tomorrow, but it still is Wednesday, It Lives day, so... Jane Is Here summary. My masterlist

Pairing: Noah x MC

Rating: T

Word count: 2195

Chapter 6 - The Return of an Old Friend

"Did y'all hear it?" - Andy asks bluntly as he and Ava reunite with their friends in the back of the school's library. It's lunch time and there's no one else there. The librarian is on her desk, far away from them.

"Yeah." - Dan answers, still looking uneasy. Lily seems to be on the verge of crying.

“It doesn’t make sense.” - Lucas states, adjusting his glasses, passing around nervously. - “It just doesn’t make sense. Why? After all these years? Why now?”

“It doesn’t matter why! What it matters is that we stop that psycho before he does something and hurts people!” - Noah snaps, taking a look at his sister, who’s been looking pale and tense since they all heard Redfield’s voice.

“And why does it have to be us?!” - Stacy scowls back at him, crossing her arms. - “It’s none of our business. We didn’t even go back there after everything that happened.”

MC bits their lower lip, remembering the strange events that happened in the sleepover, then when they went camping with the Marshall twins.

“I’m not so sure about it. ” - they affirm before turning to their best friend. - “Jane, do you have it with you?” - the redhead girl nods and pulls out something from her backpack. - “We went camping in the woods on the weekend before Dan’s party. And we found this.” - all their friends gather closer around them, staring at the small wooden object on their hand. - “It’s the whistle I gave Jane ten years ago. That went missing after we met Mr. Red.”

“This doesn’t mean anything. ” - Stacy murmurs stubbornly, but with less conviction.

“There’s another thing…” - MC’s mind drifts back to the talk they had with Mrs. García that morning. - “There’s someone missing. My neighbor, a shy little boy named Samuel. I babysit him sometimes and his mom told me that he went missing since yesterday afternoon."

"Oh yeah, I heard about it. My dad went looking for him in the woods with a search party last night… but they found nothing." - Ava, whose father's the town's sheriff, says with her usual stoic face. - "They're there again at this moment, now that they have the sun to help them."

MC proceeds to tell them a bit about Sam. On how the boy's always alone especially since his parents divorce… and how he likes playing outside and that he lied to his mother about going to the woods to play with some friends.

"...And I have a guess of who’s his friend.” - they conclude with a frown.

“Mr. Red…” - Lily murmurs, her body shaking. MC nods.

“Redfield is back. And he most likely got the kid. We have to do something.” - they state with resolution, the fear gone and replaced with determination.

"Hold on." - Lucas rises his hands in a calming gesture. - "We're not sure about it. He might have just ran away from home. Based on what you said about Samuel, MC, this is likely to have happened."

"Oh yeah, let's keep being skeptical about all this, especially after that creepy-ass voice we all heard." - Noah glares back at the Student Body President, saying through gritted teeth.

“Listen, I agree that this probably is Mr. Red's doing… but, come on. This kid needs actual help. From like, adults. And professionals. Professional adults." - Stacy says.

“No, it’s gotta be us.” - MC is resolute.

"And why is that, precisely?" - Lucas asks at them.

"Because we know who took him."

"Right, an imaginary friend we had when we were, like, eight years old." - Stacy rolls her eyes.

"You know damn well Redfield isn't imaginary." - Jane finally finds her voice, scowling back at the other cheerleader. Stacy avoids her gaze. - "I know nobody wants to dredge all that stuff back up. Do you think I like remembering all that happened?" - no one says a thing. Jane feels her brother's comforting hand on her shoulder, calming her a bit. - "...We all remember him, we just heard him. And we all know what's his capable of doing. We can't let him do the same thing to this boy. It's gotta be us." - MC grins proudly at Jane.

"And no one would believe if we said that the kid got kidnapped by some shadow monster nightmare dude that lives in the woods." - Noah concludes.

"But… it doesn't make sense." - Dan's voice is just a whisper. - "I mean, why would he suddenly appears again, after 10 years? Why didn’t he come back before, if he’s still out there?”

“Because something must have happened. Maybe he was trapped again, since Jane survived, but maybe Sam found the ruins and liberated him.” - MC ponders.

"Alright." - Andy finally speaks. - "So, what's the plan?"

"We have to go find Samuel and figure out what he did, so we can undo it. We have to go--"

"...into the woods..." - Lily interrupts MC, her face going even paler. She backs away, shaking her head, fear in her eyes.

The group falls in silence again.

"Guys… I know this is scary… but we need everyone's help." - MC breaks the silence.

"Besides, we have each other. I know we'll be alright." - Jane takes Lily's hand in hers and squeeze it reassuringly. - "If we pulled it out when we were kids, imagine now, that we're practically adults?!" - she sees small smiles on her friend's faces. - "As long as we’re together, I fear nothing."

"Nice words, Jane." - Noah compliments her and they all chuckle softly. MC turns to their friends:

"So, are we going in or what?"

"A creepy deep-woods ghost hunt is emphatically my brand. Of course I'm in." - Ava smiles confidently.

"Me too." - Dan nods. - "I won't be able to sleep at night knowing I did nothing to help a little boy."

Andy cracks his knuckles:

"I don't know about this ghost crap… but I'm really looking forward to kick some monster's ass."

"Yeah, we're in." - the twins smile, braveness irradiating from them.

"I believe… there's strength in numbers, right?"- Lily takes a deep breath. - "So I'm going too." - Jane lets out an excited squeal and hugs her tightly.

"What about you two?" - Noah turns to Lucas and Stacy.

"When are we going? Friday?" - the Student President asks.

"What? No! We have to go tonight!” - The Beanie Boy exclaims. MC agrees:

“We can't waste time. We don't know what Redfield night do until then.”

“Ugh. I can’t.” - it’s Ava who responds. - “My dad’s got this really strict school night curfew and WOW does this sound lame out loud.”

"Look, even if I did believe all of this... I just don’t have the time.” - Jane gives Lucas a disappointment look.

“Uh… I have training until six.” - Andy says with a frown.

“Yeah, I have football training too. But we can meet with you guys later… before we go in there.” - Dan proposes.

“And we have cheer practice today and early tomorrow morning too.” - Stacy says.

“C’mon guys, we need everyone.” - MC turns to Ava. - “What if we told your father you’re coming to study at my house?”

“Huh. That might actually do it. He always liked you all.” - she rolls her eyes. Lily giggles.

“Like you!! You love us!” - and she pulls the witch girl into a hug. Ava rolls her eyes again but pats her friend’s back.

“And Lucas, I know that you have a busy schedule… but I do believe the school won’t blow up for just one night.”

Lucas wants to tell them that there’s more, but he bites back his tongue. No one knows about his parents’ expectations. Aside from Jane.

His eyes unconsciously find her big brown eyes. And no one was able to deny her anything she gave them that pleading look.

“...Alright, I’ll go. Let’s say that Mr. Cooper has decided to give us a test tomorrow and we all will go to MC’s house to study.” - everybody nods in agreement. It’s stupid, Lucas knows it, but he feels his heart more at ease after seeing Jane gazing at him with adoring eyes.

“And Stacy, you’re the head cheerleader. You can cancel training whenever you want.” - the redhead turns to her. - “Let’s tell the girls that the cheer practice was postponed to Wednesday morning.”

“Britney won’t be happy about it.”

“To hell with Britney! Sorry, Lil.” - she quickly turns to the girl by her side. She giggles and says that ‘it’s fine’. Lily’s fully aware that her girlfriend isn’t very popular among we friends. - “C’mon, Stacy. You know the rules…”

“Everyone plays together.” - Noah murmurs in a morbid voice. He chuckles softly when MC elbows him, disapprovingly.

“...and we need everyone.”

Stacy mentally curses herself. Jane’s big brown pleasing eyes has always been her weakness.

"Okay, okay, training postponed." - Jane cheers. - "But you'll be the one who'll tell Britney."

"Aye, captain!"

"Crap, lunch time's almost over!" - Andy shouts as he notices the time on his phone. He just got a text from Tom: "Dude, where r u?!"

The nine teenagers stand up, ready to leave the dark and dusty library. They all agree to follow Dan's suggestion to meet later after their training.

MC has just come back from school and is petting Hilda for a little bit before going to do their homework when someone rings the bell of their house.

"Shh, Hilda!" - they mutter, approaching the front door with cautious steps, their heart pounding inside their chest, a cold shiver running down their spine… is it…?

They let out a relieved sigh when they open the door and see two cops, one of them Mr. Cunningham, standing there.

"Good afternoon, MC. Are your parents there?" - the sheriff asks, giving them a stiff nod.

"No, they still haven't come back from their trip. It's just me." - the cops nod again.

"We're here to ask you about Samuel García." - MC invites them to enter the house.

"Yeah, Mrs. García told me that he went missing."

"We do not suspect about you, but we're asking the neighbors if someone saw him or has any idea of where he possibly went."

MC had a good guess. But they would never believe them. Noah's words echoed in their mind: "...no one would believe if we said that the kid got kidnapped by some shadow monster nightmare dude that lives in the woods".

They wouldn't.

"The last time I saw Sam was Saturday evening." - when they were going to Dan's party. - "He was playing by himself in the front yard of his house, as usual."

"Did you talk to him? Did he seem different?"

MC's mind focuses on the image of the small boy with big glasses playing with his ball.

"I just waved at him and he waved back at me before resuming kicking his ball. Even though I've been his babysitter for the past three years, Samuel is not much of a talker. He doesn't talk much about his friends in school and he's a very shy and lonely boy. And I guess it got worse after his parent's started fighting and divorced. We could hear their arguments from my house sometimes. I guess he became even more secluded after it all started. I believe he likes playing outside so he couldn't be right in the middle of the fights, you know?" - Sheriff Cunningham nods, his hands expertly writing everything MC says.

"So you think he might have ran away?"

MC bites their lips.

"Probably. But where to?"

MC knows where. But they can't tell them. The lesser people know Redfield, the better.

"We had a search party into the woods last night but we found nothing. Not even footprints. We sent word to the closest town's Police Station, Pine Springs, just across the lake, about Samuel's missing. The chief there, Chief Kelley, says that his team will be looking around too. We believe he might not have gone too far away, even with the intermunicipal bus. Someone at some point would find strange a boy his age travelling around by himself."

MC agrees with him. They talk a little more - the cops tell them that they had already talked to Cid that morning before he left town, to MC's relief. They would hate if good old Cid turned into a suspect of Samuel's disappearance - and leave the house, asking MC to call them if they knew anything about Sam's whereabouts.

The teenager is more resolute than ever that they have to find the little boy as soon as possible. They take a quick shower before focusing on homework. Around 5pm, their phone buzzes on their desk.

Their heart skips a beat when they see that it's a text from Noah:

Noah: "hey, want to meet up sooner? I'm going to Gunther's Hardware store. I was thinking we should gear up before we go. I'd feel safer if we got something to defend ourselves from Mr. Red... plus who knows what else is in there.”

MC: “Do you think the hardware store will have Ghostbusters equipment stuff?"

Noah: “Very funny.”

MC grins to themself. They almost can see Noah rolling his eyes, annoyed.

MC: "Anyway… I'm in. Are we going together then?"

The next text takes longer than necessary to be answered, but it finally comes: Noah: "Yeah."

MC: "okay, meet you in five."

Tagging @kurbqa-deactivated20180730 @miragemeister @yertletheturtle04 @mysteriouslady4 @klaudiana-beaumontkkreal @katiehawkeyebishop @melchann @hippiekiyay @lovethemarshalltwins @american-duchess @jadedpixiescribbles @gameofstrangerwars @blackheartdreams @indiacater @nuttatulipa @lcnelywclf @sazanes @mmmmmmyyyah @ietss @noahfield @pixelburied @noahpologiste

[comicteaparty]

November 23rd-November 29th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from November 23rd, 2019 to November 29th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

How do you personally deal with hiatuses, both in regards to planned and unplanned breaks?

carcarchu

I feel very guilty when I go on unplanned hiatuses and I avoid going to tapas and webtoons at all until I've got an update completed. i'm scared to see comments complaining about the lack of updates and how many people have unfollowed me in the meantime. i also find it very hard to bounce back from a hiatus. when i've got a groove going it's easier to keep the momentum than it is to start again after a prolonged absence

Deo101

Kinda a rough question haha. I don't go on any hiatuses other than unplanned ones. It's only out of necessity, in the past I did it if school/health got rough, and I'd try to be back the next week with a normal update!!! However.. I have a second comic which has been on hiatus for a year. I miss making it, but I lost the person who I was working with on it so it has been hard to start again. I'm kind of not really dealing with it, as the anxiety of starting again gets worse the longer it's been! But, I know that the only way to get out of it is to just do it, and I have to do it as soon as I can or it will never end. So, I just work my way through them to get back on schedule.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far I've only taken one official hiatus, after I finished the second chapter of the comic - I worked on the next chapter's pages for the next two months, then came back and luckily haven't been off hiatus since.

I have another planned hiatus after the next chapter, and this time, I'll be accepting guest art to fill the space - it's not something I was aware was a thing until it was suggested to me. It'll be interesting to come up with a cool way to feature any art I receive. I like the idea of highlighting other artists' work while I'm taking a breather!

eli [a winged tale]

There’s such a huge mental barrier for me when it comes to announcing a hiatus but ultimately life and health come first. I have a comic on hiatus since 2015 (one day it’ll come back haha), and sometimes things happen to push my current one back for updates. I want to tell myself that since I’m producing free content, it should be for fun and not a source of stress (despite industry standards and what I want to achieve). It’s a balance. I think the readers who wait are the ones I am most grateful and treasure.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I have chronic health issues that can be very debilitating, so having hiatuses is something I have to deal with all the time. I might be able to update regularly for a few months, but eventually and inevitably, a sudden hiatus will come. It’s something that causes me a lot of stress on top of an already stressful situation. Readers leave, and then when I’m well enough to work, I don’t just have to churn out as many pages as I can while I can, I also have to rebuild my audience all over again. I hate going on hiatuses and having such an unstable update schedule, but there’s not much I can do about it.(edited)

Cronaj

Aw man... I also have been dealing with chronic health conditions, so I feel you. I finally got treatments that have been working, so I'm able to update consistently now. That being said, I was on hiatus for a year and a half until just recently. It really did destroy the momentum I was building up, and readers I had accumulated. Because of that, I am determined not to take long hiatuses anymore (a week-a month at most) and to announce it beforehand. I do find it important to prioritize health and mental well-being above my comic, but I find my mental health suffering every time I neglect to update my comic, so I find a middle ground by taking short breaks occasionally. Moral of the story: build up a buffer, kids. Don't be like me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, same. I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but I'm kind of an outlier in medicine- my body chemistry is very atypical. I build up those buffers whenever I can, but they always run out sooner or later. I love making comics so much that my mental health suffers, too. I get depressed if I'm not making progress on my comics. I'm really glad you've found a treatment that helps, though! I hope I can too, one of these years.

eli [a winged tale]

What is this mystical buffer everyone keeps talking about

I jest. Keep up the great work everyone! Everyone is trying their best and that’s most important

Capitania do Azar

I always take a small hiatus on the end of each chapter so I can rest and work on writing the next one, usually for a couple months.

sssfrs

I generally take my time with updates anyway. I've lost followers after hiatuses (strangely people only actually started unfollowing me after I came back with a new update) but I'm more focused on getting more of my comic done and progressing towards it being a finished work than keeping a consistent audience. Even though it would be nice...

DanitheCarutor

Fff coincidentally I'm going on a planned hiatus in December. At the end of every chapter I go on one to get feedback, and have some downtime to better plan the next chapter, as well as to get build some buffer. Usually during this time I either hold a Q&A, or do a call for guest art/comics, and I only ever plan to be on break for a month. I don't like being away for longer than that, and the intermission stuff (Q&A's, call for guest art) is announced a month or so beforehand, that way no one is scrambling when the scheduled break starts. As far as an unplanned hiatus, I don't usually have any with my current project. There have been times I've missed the posting deadline due to my fulltime job, but would post either once the page is done or the next week. With my old comic I took a lot of unannounced breaks, not so much because I was busy but I was going through a lot of crap, and morale was really low. It didn't help that it was my very first real attempt at making comics, so I had no idea what I was doing, the story was also hot garbage and became more of a chore to work as time went on. Eventually I just stopped, went on perma-hiatus totally unannounced to this day. I should have let my readers know, but I was really ashamed of myself for not wanting to work on the project (I promised I would complete it), and with a bunch of things suddenly happening in my life I forgot. I'll probably have to go in an unannounced break someday. A lot of things can happen, and being a traditional art only comic creator I'll probably end up running out of supplies eventually, needing to scrounge up some money for more. The nice thing is soooome, hopefully most, of my readers would understand? They know my comic is super time consuming, and that I've been working on it nonstop for 4-5 years now, so they should? Maybe? Hopefully that won't happen, though!

keii4ii

For those of you who take a break after each chapter, how many pages go in an average-length chapter?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

depends on how you're planning to set up your story, whether u want to prioritize to certain print sizes, but the general average chapter size is about 30 pages

Cronaj

I hadn't been planning to take a break between chapters, but we'll see what actually happens. I have chapters ranging from 35-50 pages in length(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Not sure how everyone else is, but I wing it with chapter length. The chapter I'm currently capping off will be 57 pages, although 30-45ish pages is preferred.

eli [a winged tale]

47 for me for this first chapter!

keii4ii

Cool! Was mostly asking a "so how frequently do you take scheduled post-chapter breaks" worded differently

sssfrs

I do 8-12.. I wish I could do more

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I am taking a short holiday break (that was actually planned this time) in between Eryl chapters. My Eryl chapters usually run 30-35 pages, and the break will be around..., 3 weeks I think? I can’t remember exactly. I’m probably going to have to put it back on hiatus partway through the chapter when my buffer runs out because of the aforementioned chronic health issues, though.

spacerocketbunny

I've only taken one hiatus and that was just while my site was being built! But even then we were able to have a short extra comic updating on an alternative site for that time being. We've been updating consistently for 5 years and that's thanks to the stability we've been lucky to have and the fact that there's two of us sharing the work. We've been able to work ahead enough so we've never ran out of a buffer, I'm pretty proud of that tbh(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Oh! So you were asking the time frame in which a chapter is finished? Correct me if I'm wrong. Normally each chapter takes about a year to complete, sometimes a couple months more than that. (for me, that is.)

spacerocketbunny

Nothing wrong with a hiatus though, especially after chapter breaks, I think those are pretty good to keep yourself from burning out!

Cronaj

I do 2-3 pages a week, so I finish a new chapter... about every 4-6 months

keii4ii

I appreciate the answers, everyone!

AntiBunny

I answered this one on Twitter, but I'll answer more at length here. FIrst of all I think a distinction should be made between a Hiatus, which is a planned break, and an extended delay, which is more missed updates compounding with each other.

The former is easier to deal with. Announce it with a clear return date.

The latter is rougher. The artist hasn't planned it, and feelings of guilt can make it harder and harder to return. The best thing to do in that case is to again, get out ahead of it. When you're delayed point people to your social media, and keep posting to make it clear you're still working, or if work has halted completely at least keep posting to let them know when you will be working on it again.

Either way I try to avoid even using the word "hiatus" because webcomic readers tend to read it as "abandoned." Sadly they're all too often right to do so.

Cronaj

Yeah, usually, when announcing a hiatus to my readers, I like to use the word "break" instead

It's a bit softer for some reason

You know, I am 95% certain that my readers thought I had abandoned the project—or died—when I disappeared for a year and a half

Because I know that I have gotten invested in a comic, only for the creator to go incognito

And I always wonder... Are they alright?

keii4ii

I usually figure either life got too busy, or the creator outgrew the project. Or both.

AntiBunny

I know. I stopped updating for almost a year because I wasn't happy with the planned ending of Nailbat. I lost readers I still haven't regained over that one.

In retrospect "waiting for inspiration" was not the ideal way to handle that.

Cronaj

Yeah, the fact that I returned at all is pretty crazy, from a reader's perspective(edited)

I've seen more abandoned projects than I have, "Hey sorry guys! Was dealing with stuff, but now I'm back!"

I mean, it happens

But very infrequently in comparison to the previous sadly(edited)

AntiBunny

Combine the fact that not updating is easier than updating, and the guilt of not updating making you feel like your return has to be even more awesome with every missed update, so you build for yourself a unsalable mountain of imagined expectation, and you have a recipe for abandonment.

Cronaj

Yep!

I'm still trying to regain my momentum

And I always feel so bad if I publish a less-than-stellar page

AntiBunny

There's also the fact that people grow and change. One problem with long form story webcomics is that an artist can outgrow their story.

Cronaj

That is so true

AntiBunny

The most successful tend to be the ones that can grow and change with the artist.

Cronaj

As a novelist as well, I can say that is incredibly accurate

I have dropped so many novels after writing 30k words or more

The only project I've stayed faithful to for over 5 years IS my current comic project

AntiBunny

Sluggy Freelance for example is very different today than when it began. Gunnerkrigg Court as well, and I like to think mine can too.

Though I'll admit I do have a character I've outgrown, and it bugs me people want to see her again.

Cronaj

I think that's just a desire for closure, and for things to come together in the end

AntiBunny

She was more of a comic relief character really. her sort of humor just isn't something I want to write anymore. That kind of edgelord "lol murder," humor isn't something I can write anymore. And unlike the core cast who've grown so that they don't have to come from the same place I was years ago, she hasn't.

I may be drifting off topic a bit there. Anyway I think it serves well as a reminder that for a long term story the characters need to grow with the artist to keep a comic going.

keii4ii

Not every story is meant to grow with the trends, and that's 100% fine. Just means you have to accept the risk of potentially outgrowing the project.

Using the word "trends" pretty broadly

Mine is not very adaptable, and I can't imagine making it more adaptable without altering its core. It doesn't make it less worthy as a story, just... yeah, bigger risk

seetherabbit

I always took breaks or "hiatus" way before I ran out of pages I could in theory add to the buffer

that way I could more easly relax

but also so I don't have to take an hiatus in the middle of a story

Pistashi

everyone needs a break sometimes

I've been updating and working constantly not only on my comic, but alto my yt channel and freelance jobs (because money is always welcomed, even tho I HATE FREELANCE WITH ALL MY CORE)

but I feel like I got momentum now and I dont wanna stop suddendly

sometimes I feel exhausted but then one day later or after 10h of sleep Im fine

I'll take a break later for sure, but rn I feel like this weight of responsibility is helping me build my work ethics

because we cant work just when we are inspired, we dont have that luxury :P

we cant overwork either, so we gotta be smart with our breaks and hiatuses

mathtans

I've been on hiatus more times than I want to count. One of those things where not having much of an audience helps... if no one's really saying much, they either continue not to say anything, or suddenly surface to wish you well.

I will say that I like concluding arcs. My first hiatus was when my wife went into hospital for a bit, I said I'd return but didn't know when. Most of my other hiatuses have been at the ends of arcs... and I'll add that while they were breaks from the comic, they weren't from content. I put up a few behind-the-scenes things, explaining backstory, and had a friend write a column for me too. I've seen other comics do similar, or use guest art.

And for those of you wondering "who's this guy", I've been on hiatus since my daughter was born. Meaning we're going on 17 months. (I may not return to comic work. I have another website I run where I do serials that I'm still maintaining.)

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

In most cases I take a hiatus at the end of a chapter. I have taken two official hiatuses and I think there were some shorter, inofficial ones that I had to take because of other obligations like my studies/family issues/freelance work or finishing books for print. Personally I have managed to not get myself too worked up about hiatuses. I'm doing comics for free and I can't live off of them, so it's inevitable to take breaks. Though I have to say I'm starting into a new chapter without having to go on hiatus, which is pretty neat C:

Pistashi

@Phin (Heirs of the Veil) thats niice! its like the more we work on comics the better (and faster) we get, so keeping the momentum between chapters without a hiatus is an awesome thing! Its the little things tbh

also, you're right. its inevitable to take breaks. specially when you're not working full time and can't live off of them. and like @mathtans said, responsibility shows up and sometimes we have to put things aside

like having a daugther! thats awesome dude! hope your family is doing well (and I know you said you might not get back to comics, but if its something you enjoy keep it up when you're free! making comics is fun) ahdksjnd

Neguri-Senpai-Author

I've actually never gone on a hiatus ever since I started really doing my comic. I can't really go on any hiatuses because I market mine as a weekly comic and additionally I have an oddly strong obsession over consistently in my life so I just feel really really weird if I'd do something like a break from my comic even if I needed it ^^; But currently it's not really that bad. I've been consistent with weekly uploads for a bit over a year now (I've started doing it weekly in September of 2018) and I don't plan on going on a hiatus any time soon. Maybe I'll work a bit in advance but I'm not gonna go on a hiatus to get a break

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

@Pistashi Yeah it's really nice when you finally get a little faster because you optimized your workflow

mathtans

@Pistashi Thanks! Family's doing great, but yeah, most of my free time goes to writing rather than drawing these days. We'll see how things play out.

Desnik

I didn't spotlight my hiatus, but when I finally return to acknowledge it, I'd like to have something to show for it, like a new project or 'this is where I am now' or 'This is what the comic meant to me' so that at least my readers get closure

[hyunarkarchive]

oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.” 

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile. 

not even 10 minutes later 

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark: 

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops. 

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk​ & @rkwon​ & @rkgwen​ - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark​ & @rksunwoo​ & @rkseokwoo​ - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;;  minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy​ & @rkjohnny​ - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon​ & @rkgray​- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh?  brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose​ & @rkkyungri​ - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!! 

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya​ - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;;  special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho,  thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

[anothertublruser1992-blog]

Observations about A Single Pale Rose

I first want to say that I don’t mind the whole ‘Rose is Pink Diamond’ thing; there has been hints and build up for that for years now so I don't doubt for a moment that it was intended from the beginning that it was to be.

I have sat and thought about the episode, thought about it, re-watched older episodes and like many fans who don't know why they can't find to agree with the turn of events have come to this conclusion:  The reason why A Single Pale Rose's twist doesn't feel right for many of us fans is because it doesn't make sense due to what was given to us throughout the series as of now and how it was presented.  

Much like an athlete getting ready for the Olympics, I think the crew fell short when it came to some aspects to this reveal and then stumbled when it came to the twist, but before we get into that I want to talk about what WASN'T the crew's fault:

The time it took to get to this reveal.  

As we know, SU is NATORIOUS for it's hiatuses, but what most people don't know is that Season 5 was originally part of Season 3, and is referred to as Season 3B by the crew.  This was due to the Cartoon Network extending the series out longer, normally that's great right? More episodes of a great show, especially for a cartoon that's great, so why not just stick to the original plan then and air Season 3B as intended?  Well...here's the thing:  I think Steven Universe is like Avatar the Last Airbender, it has a ending in mind.  The show is designed around and is following a timeline, so by making the crew extending the length of the show by an additional two years, they run the risk of ending the show early on, and that could have been bad, so they had no choice but to add, AND YES SOME OF IT IS, filler episodes.  I think this caused Season's 3 hiatus.

There are always things we don't know what happened behind the scenes, but we do know of this one (it was mentioned in a podcast with the crew, I don't remember which one but here's a reddit link talking about “what is season 3B?” ”https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/6zbzn6/can_someone_explain_this_to_me_of_production/

Anyway onto what this whole thing is about.  What doesn't make sense of the reveal.  Here is what I'm going to go over in my post and go into detail on why it doesn't make sense, due to pre-established facts the crew has laid down or due to simple physics and logic behind them. Strap your butts in people, this is gonna be a long one

Why didn't Blue Diamond recognize Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz's voice while she was attacking the Cloud Arena?

Why didn't anyone tell Rose Quartz's gem stone wasn't a Rose Quartz gem? This especially goes hard against Peridot when she looked at Steven's gem and had mistook him for “Some kind of Quartz, right?”

Why does Pink Diamond's gem facets change when rotating (this one EVERYONE talks about but I'm going to only talk about it briefly)

Why doesn't Pink's Gem have a band on the “Normal” side of her gem, and if that's the case, then why does it suddenly get one after she poofs?

Why does her gem change size and color?

Why does her color pallet change, adding a new unused color to the Rose Quartz form when she shape-shifts to it, making it fundamentally impossible to do so due to established information.

Pink's inconsistent height throughout the show...in more ways than one

      Why Didn't Blue recognize Pink's voice?  We saw in Garnets' flashback in The Answer that Rose and Pearl attacked the Cloud Arena and Rose clearly called out to Blue herself.  I don't think Garnet would lie to Steven, out of all the gems, she has been the most honest (and obviously will be the most devastated when she learns of Pink's deception) so I am taking this scene to be 100% truth, so again, why didn't Blue Diamond, who had close dealings with Pink Diamond not recognize her voice?  It's not like she SAW Rose Quartz attacking, her back was turned away. 

We also know that gems have unique voices, a voice to each gemstone type, and being Diamonds, they have even more chances of their voices being recognized as there are only four known Diamonds in the entire gem species...so again, unless Pink Diamond made all her RQ’s sound like her (and I don’t think she did, after all, she only became RQ to try to derail the colony and end it before killing off her PD identity forever.  As a side note, I think we have heard a real RQ voice already...the little voice in the Zoo...funny how we thought that was PD.)    

This is just one of the few plot holes that opened up when this reveal happened.

This next one is could be missed, but when you REALLY think about it doesn't make sense when your whole species are gemstones...

      How, how in the entire universe could another gem not tell one gemstone from another?  I've heard an argument it was due to the facet face of the gems; that was how they could distinguish one gemstone type from another (because gemstones can vary from color to color) but we HAVE seen an amethyst with a square facet in the Gem Heist.  

So...we can now debunk the facet recognition.  Now let's look at gemstones, specifically Rose quartz and a Pink diamond.  Let’s look at Rose Quartz gemstones:

I've included pictures of Rose quartz gemstones that have been cut and polished to look like diamonds, since that would be best used for this augment. Now let’s look at some Pink Diamonds:

Here we have RQ gemstones in rings and Pink diamonds while not in rings, and while they are beautiful we can see something quite obvious about RQ gems vs a Diamond gem:  They're opaque.  Even when they're highly polished and cut to match a diamond, they are more opaque than a regular diamond would be, and that can be spotted right away, even if it is embedded onto a body of a person.

With that said...HOW did Peridot, a CERTIFIED gem technician, who's previous job was gem creation (probably why she was sent to check on the cluster due to her vast KNOWLEDGE of gem), failed to recognized a quartz stone verses a Diamond stone?  This is a HUGE plot hole that makes Peridot look stupid, and we know she isn't.

      Pinks facets, they change when she transforms...they shouldn't.  This has been talked over and over so I'm just going to say that it has been stated as fact that Gems' gemstone is their true self, and the one thing they can not change about themselves (put a pin in that, we'll be coming back to that shortly) so it's physically impossible for that to happen so here's my explanation:  

It's due to the animation having to match the Rose Quartz Gem design to the Pink Diamond design and the animator shifted it like that...it is literally an inbetween frame (or tweening)of animation.  It's not technically an animation error...but a model error because when they designed Pinks' gem they designed it in such a way to give us a “twist” that we wouldn't think she was RQ at all...but when the time came to pull off the deed it didn't make sense in animation so we got that...animation error looking thing instead.  This was due to simple poor planning.

      Okay now I'm going to talk about Gem Bands.  Gems have bands on their gemstones, why?  It actually hasn't been established as to why Gems have them, but I had thought it was to help the gem orientation when they were re-forming back into their forms.  The only gemstone who didn't have one of these bands was Bismuth...due to obvious reasons.

So we know that NOT ALL GEMS have these rings, that is known fact.  So when Pink's gem rotated, that could have worked if she didn't have a ring right?  …...........right?  WELL....It has already been proven in past episodes that not only does STEVEN'S gem (the RQ gem...Pink's gem) Have a ring on it, but in the VERY same episode when Rose-Pearl poofs Pink and hold's her gem in her hand...it suddenly has a band that wasn't seen on the RQ side....where it should have been visible in her Pink Diamond form....do you see the problem with the design yet?  Where did it come from, then where did it go...where Cotton eye Joe, tell me?!?  

      This one is my biggest pet peeve of this whole thing...Pink's gem size and how it changes size and shape when she goes from being Pink Diamond to Rose Quarts (poofed form)  Now, Pink is small for a Diamond, but she's still big for a common gem and her gemstone is still very big as seen on this height chart here:

But...you can already see an inconsistency with that height chart huh.  Pink's gemstone is much larger than the Rose Quartz gemstone that we normally see, even if it was inverted to the RQ position. This would kinda...hurt Steven.  An artist, ghostydraws already beat me to the punch with this beauty:

http://ghostydraws.tumblr.com/post/173727020602/revenge-of-the-steven-universe-proportions

So well, shoot how do you fix that?  Well...The crew simply ignores it by literally having the gemstone SHRINK when Pink Diamond poofs to the point where it's handheld size.

I watched this episode on my break at work, and I face-palmed myself when this happened, and my coworker asked what did I watch to make me do this. ( I lied and said I was watching a Trump video to cover up the stupidity of my reaction )

Another thing that bothered me was whenever Pink is in the RQ form, she has a new color to her pallet, her skin tone.  All the colors on the RQ form can be found (or similar shades) on her Pink Diamond form except the skin color on the RQ form and that can't be possible.  We know that gems can only shape-shift to the color pallet of their original form.  This has been proven time and time again...so why suddenly can Pink Diamond pull a new color out of thin air?

Can you see how...insulting this is too us as an long time audience?  An audience who has been paying attention closely to the lore of the show only for the creators to suddenly throw out half of it for the sake of a twist? That isn't good writing. And if they go with “It was magic that did it” option...then I'll officially call Pink Diamond a Mary Sue and trust me, she was already very close to being one.

EDIT:  I would also like to state that I don’t like the “It’s the crew’s usual animation inconsistencies” excuse.  I don’t like that the crew has tattooed that stigma onto themselves and it has become an excuse for any errors outside of small animation errors.  These guys have been working on the show for 5 years now, and had 5 years to get to this reveal...they have no excuses anymore...  

Finally I want to briefly talk about that had me thinking that it was part of the problem but in retrospect.....maybe we'll get more answers...because it's raised more questions for me.

      Pink's height inconstancy is really something...and it's not the usual SU Crew animation thing either.  First the Moonbase chair...for Pink Diamond's chair...it's really small...even for her.  

Then we got the flashback dream in Jungle moon and saw that she was the same height as Stevonnie:

Well, okay then, but then we got A Single Pale Rose and found out she's about twelve to fifteen feet tall...what?  Then look at her chair in her palanquin...it's...a bit big for her, like she couldn’t sit back in that thing and not look like a kid sitting in a armchair.

then we look at her Zoo and see her bed is huge...where Blue or Yellow could comfortably lay down on?   What is going on here?  Was she getting bigger as she aged, is that what the Crew is implying?  I think we haven't learned all there is about Pink Diamond or Diamonds in general yet...I'm actually kinda excited to find out more, as they are the most mysterious of gems we have. 

We still have several unanswered questions of Rose/Pink herself:  Why would she go off by herself?  How did Lion came to be?  Personally, I think she went off by herself to ‘take a break’ from the RQ form, as we know Gems can’t hold a shape-shifted form forever, and we know when reforming gems still look like themselves, but only modify their clothes and hair and to an extent limbs, but that can make them unstable if they do too much.  

I’m not saying that the twist was bad, (well...it was, but for all the wrong reasons) but I hope that the crew does realize what they did to an extent to the show.  I am looking forward to learning more about what is going to happen with this new information with PD, how everyone will react etc, perhaps they’ll question it too?  Who knows?   There is still soooo much to look forward to in the show.

[mvssmallow]

CWAC: Chapter 29 Part I (temporary re-upload)

Cloudy With A Chance

Chapter 29 Part I: …of airplanes.

Masterlist

Day 0

“You what?”

“I need to go to Japan.”

He stares at Hanbin’s back, waiting waiting waiting for the next reaction with a racing heartbeat in his throat.

“It’s three days till Christmas.”

“I know.” He says with a tired sigh. “They want to meet a producer over there. It’s the last time he’s free before he goes on hiatus with his family for a month. They want to get a lock on him before I start on the album.”

Hanbin stops cleaning his desk and turns around to face him. “When do you leave?”

“Now. Today.” He says, even more exhausted at the thought of having to pack for the airport. “Jin booked our flights already. The cars coming over in half an hour.”

Hanbin nods then and half shrugs. “Yeah okay.”

He’s a little taken aback, unsure what he was expecting but some part of him thought (hoped) that his absence would be more upsetting. He didn’t want to make them sad and miserable but there are times where he just craves some kind of evidence that he’s important in Hanbin’s life.

“So you’re okay with this right?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s your job now.” Hanbin moves past him to open their drawers and rummage for the passports kept there. “Which backpack do you want to take with you?”

He feels oddly blindsided by everything that’s happened this afternoon. The sudden phone call. The impromptu flight. Hanbin’s blasé response. His internal dissatisfaction.

“Jiwon? Which one?”

“Um, the blue one.”

A blue camo print backpack is thrown on the bed and his passport is tucked into the front pocket. He watches as their wardrobe doors slide open and Hanbin pauses to survey all the pre-ironed t-shirts just hanging there.

“Do you want me to help you pack?”

No, I want you to miss me when I leave.

He can’t say that out loud so instead, he settles for: “Yeah, if you’re not doing anything.”

Hanbin scoffs. “What else would I be doing right now?”

They pack with quiet efficiency. Well, he watches Hanbin pack with quiet efficiency, the tense stillness only punctuated by Hanbin’s short questions and his own single word answers. It makes him want to yell really loudly or say something stupid.

But the hour’s almost up. The car will be here soon.

“Wait a minute.” He’s checking the contents of the backpack with a frown, pushing phone chargers and socks out of the way but still not finding the thing he wants. “Where’s your Snoopy t-shirt?”

Hanbin looks at him with confusion. “Snoopy? That shirt is so old. Don’t you want one of your newer-”

“No.” He shakes his head, suddenly pissed off for some reason. “I need that one.”

It comes out harsher than he wanted it to but if picking a fight is the only way he’s going to get Hanbin to react then he’ll play dirty for once.

But Hanbin just goes and looks for the damm t-shirt without saying anything. It drives him insane and he can’t really remember a time he was this frustrated about Hanbin’s selective mutism.

“Here.” A soft and greying t-shirt is held out towards him. “Are you going to wear it out? It’s so old. It’s seriously getting holes in the sleeves.”

He takes it and tucks safely into his backpack. “No. I’m not going to wear it out. I just want to take it with me.”

“Okay.” Hanbin says slowly, eyes suddenly piercing into the side of his face like they always do when they’re trying to read his mind.

The phone in his his pocket starts buzzing and ringing then. Great timing as always. The car is downstairs to pick him up.

“I gotta go.”

Hanbin walks him to the front door and watches him put on his jacket and tie up his shoelaces.

“So umm, I guess I’ll see you when I get back?” He says, prepared and resigned to leave with just a brief kiss. Who knows how affectionate Hanbin is feeling right now.

“Message me when you land? And when you go to sleep.” Hanbin instructs, his voice shaky and watery for a split second. “And when you’re packing again too, so you don’t forget anything.”

He cracks the first smile of the day. “Yeah, I’ll just message you everything okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Then he sees it; the slumped shoulders, the downcast eyes that never meet his and the subtle frown pulling at the corners of Hanbin’s mouth. He can feel fingers playing with the straps of his backpack, even though there’s nothing to fix or adjust.

Well, finally.

“Come here.” He says softly, pulling at Hanbin’s t-shirt and relieved when there’s no resistance at all. Just a sigh.

He’s going to write a song about this one day. He knows it. This exact feeling whenever he pulls Hanbin’s slightly smaller body into his, the initial thrill of butterflies followed by the deep warm ache that comes from something so good, so unbelievable, so comforting, so his.

“Gonna miss me?” He asks. Fuck subtlety, he needs to hear the words sometimes.

There’s a nod against his chest that makes him want to laugh. Typical Hanbin.

“Say it baby. I wanna hear it.”

“Jiwon….” Hanbin whines.

“Baby..” He echoes with another laugh. “You’re gonna make me late if you don’t say it. I’m not leaving till you do.”

There’s more protesting and he can feel the outlines of Hanbin’s face as it tries to bury itself further into his chest. “Illmissyou.”

“What was that?”

Hanbin looks up at him then, all big doe eyes, long eyeslashes and static in his hair. “I’ll miss you.”

“You better.” He says with a relieved grin.

They don’t kiss for half as long as he wanted them to but it’s long enough for the phone to buzz in his pocket again.

“Ahh shit. I really have to go.”

Hanbin’s clinging onto him now, he can feel the slight panic and desperation in the way those fingers dig into his arm. He wonders if it’s wrong to want Hanbin to be like this all the time. It probably makes him a sadist or something but truthfully, nobody has ever needed him before and it’d be nice if that happened at least once in his life.

“Okay, well. I’ll message you when-”

“-I love you.”

It is so quiet against his own voice but he still hears it loud and clear.

Does he stop breathing? For a second? Or a minute. One of those. He’s not sure which one. The backpack is dropped to the ground and he holds that beautifully nervous face in his hands for so long that his phone buzzes in his pocket for a third time and he has the fleeting though that his Beatbox team should just go to Japan without him.

“Fuck, Hanbin.” He says in hushed disbelief. “Why did you have to say it right now? Worst timing ever. Shit, how am I supposed to leave?”

There’s the most sheepish of shrugs that makes Hanbin look even smaller. Maybe small enough to fit into his backpack.

“I really need to go but fuck, I’m gonna miss you so much. You have no idea. I haven’t even left and I miss you already. Wanna come with me? Please come with me?”

Hanbin laughs at his dramatics before leaning up to kiss him in that infuriatingly slow and sweet way that satisfies every empty part of his soul.

“Mmmmlove you.” He murmurs against those soft lips.

“I know.” Hanbin says with a smile before pushing him away gently. “Go to work. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He doesn’t bother hiding his sigh as he picks up his backpack. Every step outside their apartment door is harder than the one before it. He looks at Hanbin leaning against the doorframe in that old disneyland t-shirt, his hair is a mess, cheek flushed and there’s some kind of wistful bittersweet look on his face.

He loves him more than he loves his entire life.

It’s a crazy thought that he’d only read about or seen in movies, believing for all these years that they were unrealistic, impossible and overdramatic….until now.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” He shouts from down the corridor.

“Can’t anyway. My stupid is going to Japan!” Hanbin shouts back.

****

It’s weird.

Too many years spent on a diet of Linklater movies, Murakami books and songs about longing has got him expecting something that never comes. He expected to feel some big gaping hole when Jiwon left for the airport but he doesn’t.

Of course he misses him. He misses him a lot.

But that hollow melancholy that he felt when they broke up isn’t there. Which is good he supposes, he doesn’t want that feeling back. Ever.

It doesn’t really feel like Jiwon went anywhere though. He’s been gone for barely 20 minutes before the first of the texts come. It makes him smile like an idiot.

[did we pack snoopy?xj]

[Yeah we did. He’s in there. Don’t worry. hx]

He thought it’d end there until Jiwon lands in Japan but there’s another buzz of his phone after a few minutes.

[did we pack my passport?]

[YES omg]

[did we pack the killr bees]

[Yes. We packed everything you wanted. Stop asking me. Lol.]

[im bored.]

[Its been like 20 minutes.]

[Yeah I kno. Then we have to wt at the airprt]

[Your life is so hard. Poor baby.]

[Haha am I your baby now?]

[Idk, I have to check with my boyfriend]

[Wts he like]

[Better than you]

[wll thats rude]

[Talk to me when you have a record deal]

[its ok, gt my own bf. hes not as good as u tho]

[You can’t even pretend in texts?]

[haha nope. Can’t pretend like ur not the best]

[You need to get out more]

[nah, got u now. im nevr leavng]

It’s just a few words, full of typos, but it still makes his stomach drop.

[But what should we do about my boyfriend?]

[idk get a biggr bed haha]

[JIWON]

[WHAT]

[!!!]

[im kiddin! you gotta be crazy if u think im gonna share you]

[hey we’re here, hve to go. talk later.]

[love you baby xj]

[Have a safe flight. Love you too.xhx]

The smile doesn’t leave his face. Not for the entire time he makes dinner for himself. It’s only when he sits down at their table that he feels it, the hollow emptiness of the chair next to him, the off-balanced quietness of the apartment, the way there’s only one plate on the table. He looks at his phone but the screen is still black. He can’t even send a message, Jiwon would be in the middle of his flight.

The rest of the night isn’t much better. Even when he knows Jiwon has landed, there’s no texts. Maybe he was just busy.

He cleans up alone. Showers alone. Gets into an empty bed alone. And there’s still no message.

[Hey I’m going to bed now. Hope you’re okay over there. xh]

He doesn’t really sleep though. He can hear the traffic outside his window and it was always weirdly comforting to him, something to do with the mundaness of life continuing on regardless of how bad his day is. But it’s not working tonight, maybe it was only comforting listening to that sound when he had Jiwon’s warm body next to him.  

It’s 1:30am when his dark room lights up from a text on his phone.

[are u still awake]

[Yeah?]

He expects another text marathon but Jiwon ends up calling.

“Hi baby.” Jiwon’s voice sounds rough, exhausted and muffled, like half of his face is against a pillow. “You okay to talk?”

“Yeah.” He’s not sure why it makes him sad that Jiwon has to even ask.

“Sorry I didn’t message or call. Jin got pissed that I was on the phone so much and just took it. He wanted to pack all this stuff into our schedule before Christmas. We just got back from this dinner with a bunch of Japanese rappers. I’m never drinking again.”

He laughs to cover up his paranoia. “Yeah? Did you have a good time?”

Jiwon groans in pain. “I think there should be an age limit on alcohol.”

“There is.”

“It should be like, 30.”

He laughs for real this time. “What happened? Did you do something stupid?”

“No!”

“Didn’t dislocate any jaws today?”

“No, I did not.” Jiwon says bitterly. “We just did a few shots. I’m gonna be so hungover tomorrow and that’s when we’re meeting Doc.”

His ears perk up at that and a shiver runs down his spine. “Who?”

“Doc McKinney. That’s the producer they want to get for my album. Which isn’t even half written by the way, I don’t get why they’re-”

“Wait. Doc McKinney? The american producer?”

“Yeah? You know him?”

“YES.”

“Tablo met him at some company event last month. Thank god he can speak English. They think it’ll be good promo to have a big shot producer on my album but why the hell would he want to work with a no name?” Jiwon laughs then. “Imagine what’s going on in his head. From the Weeknd to me. What a joke.”

“It’s not a joke.” He says firmly. “You’re good on your own but if you got him on your debut Jiwon….that would be crazy.”

“Yeah I know. I’m not gonna put much into it though. We got Tablo, that’s enough.”

Out of the two of them, he doesn’t know how he ended up being the more ambitious one when all the talent was with Jiwon.

“Still try though, right? You never know where it’ll go. It’s always good to make some contacts in the music business. He might be handy when you get into the US market.”

Jiwon snorts down the phone line. “US market? Are you tripping? I’m not even in the Korean market.”

“You should aim high.” He says, smiling at the dark ceiling. “You have the talent and personality for it.”

“I love talking to you. My ego grows like three sizes bigger every time.”

“Good.”

“Hey you know what else grows three sizes bigger?”

He groans at Jiwon’s lame line. “Seriously? That’s how you’re going to change the topic?”

“Yep. That’s how I’m gonna do it.” Jiwon says, words getting more and more slurred. “What are you wearing?”

“Wait. Do you have your own room?”

There’s a bark of laughter down the line. “Yeah, I do. I’m not that much of freak Hanbin. I’m not you.”

He goes red, even though nobody can see him. “I have never done it in a room full of other people! What are you talking about?!”

“I mean, you like it when you think you might get caught.”

He stays silent, trying to think of an answer that doesn’t self-sabotage or reveal any of his other kinks.

“Am I right?” Jiwon asks with a chuckle. “I am, aren’t I? You are so loud. Remember that time in the carpark? I get so hard whenever I think about it.”

Of course he remembers that night. He remembers it so vividly that he can still smell the sweat on Jiwon’s skin, the hunger in his eyes and the way he always comes with that deep growl.

“Baby? You still there?”

His hand was already wandering down between his legs. “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just….”

“…thinking about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. What are you wearing?”

“Puppy pyjamas?”

Jiwon groans. “Why do you have to be so fucking cute at a time like this?!”

“You asked! What are you wearing?”

“Snoopy.”

He laughs. “Well, why do you have to be so fucking cute too?”

“Snoopy smells like you.”

His hand stops in its track. His stomach does that nervous flip again.

“Jiwon….”

“Yeah yeah, I know. I’m supposed to be nasty and talk about how much I want to fuck you right now. But here I am telling you that I took your stupid t-shirt to Japan just so I can pretend I’m sleeping with you. Fuck!” Jiwon laughs at his own ridiculousness. “I can’t even do phone sex right.”

He waits until his breathing sounds normal again. “I….really want to fly over there. Like, right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Miss me?”

“Yeah, I really do. It sucks being in this bed without you.”

“Well, it sucks being in another country without you. God, how lame are we? It hasn’t even been 24 hours.” Jiwon says in exhaustion before yawning. “My body is so confused right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t know if it’s awake or asleep. I’m half hard but half not. I really need to come but I’m too tired. And I miss you, so I’m sad, but I’m talking to you right now, so I’m kinda not.”

“You’re a mess.” He says with a chuckle, wanting to reach through the phone line to pull Jiwon into their bed. “What you need is sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

“I can’t sleep though! My dick is waiting for me to do something.”

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know? Do it with me?”

He kicks his blankets off and throws the puppy pyjamas on the ground. He knew this was coming. “Take your pants off. And Snoopy too.”

“….Okay.”

He waits for the rustling on the other end to stop before talking again.

“I want to hear you touching yourself. Can you do that? I want to hear all those noises you make.”

“Fuck…..you sound so hot talking like this.” Jiwon says. “I’m so hard right now.”

“Good. What are you thinking about?”

“What your mouth feels like. I wish it was here with me.”

“Just my mouth?” He laughs. ‘What would you do with the rest of me?”

There’s a soft muffled sound, like Jiwon was rolling over in bed. “Mmm, no. I wanna hear what you wanna do.”

He’s stroking himself with a faster rhythm now and as much as the words always make him cringe, he’s so turned on and out of his mind that it’s like someone else just took over.

“I kind of…..want you to fuck me backstage after one of your shows.”

There’s a deep moan through the phone’s static. “Keep going, babe.”

“Sometimes I watch you on stage and you’re so sweaty and aggressive. I always wanted to pull you behind the curtains and lick all that sweat off you.”

“Mmmhmm. Then what?”

“Then you’d push me on the ground and I’d complain that my knees hurt. But you wouldn’t care. You’d hold my jaw and make me open my mouth just so you can fuck into it until I’m gagging and begging you to stop.”

“Keep going keep going….I’m so close…”

His hand is so wet now and he can hear Jiwon’s erratic breathing through the phone.

“I wouldn’t want you to stop though. I want it to hurt. I want to taste you when you cum in my mouth and when you’re done, I want you to fuck me and fill me up so much that it drips down my legs…”

There’s a strained ‘fuck!’ through the phone line followed by that familiar raspy growl and whispers of his name. His own head is full of flashbacks of that night in the carpark, he remembers Jiwon’s eyes as he pushed in, so deep and slow that the stretch made him want to scream. It was an overwhelming mix of desperation, aggression and possession. It’s that memory that makes him close his eyes now and cum all over his hand with a drawn out moan.

There’s a few seconds of silence where all he can hear is their breathing but suddenly Jiwon starts laughing.

“What?!”

“Nothing nothing. I was just thinking of how much trouble you’re gonna be in when I come home.”

He smiles in the darkness, sweaty and aching everywhere. How the hell are they going to handle three days apart?

Soundtrack: July - Kris

[fidelitasadmiralandcvl]

retirement notice

I really didn't want to do this, but I knew this would be inevitable. My time as an RPer must come to a conclusion. With my health rapidly declining due to overworking and immense stress and hardly any time to be at the computer thanks to work and school, it's time I retire from the hobby. What started out as a little fun my old online friends dragged me into back when I was in high school turned into a solid 7-8 years (??? or more??? I lost track of it) of experience and fun. I knew this couldn't go on forever. Although 21 is a young age to retire from it, I knew a year ago that it was close to my expiration date for role playing.

After having spoken to one of my closest RPing friends about the matter, he was right. I should not be denying the cruel truth of reality. It would also be unfair to many of my partners to constantly delay them of my replies and contents. I would love to be on, but at the same time, most of my energy is already spent working and tending to my real life matters. I'm going to NYU, I'm going to become an epidemiologist, I'm going to be working my bottom off, I'm planning to continue my prospective plan into medical school shortly afterward, and I'm definitely planning to work till I die for my community in the health profession. No matter how hard I try to calculate my schedule, RPing... just won't fit in anywhere.

So I apologize for leaving right after my "brief hiatus", but I like to let everyone know that I really enjoy your company and I enjoy getting to be creative with you all. Even if we barely see each other on the dashboard, I really love your content as I'm the type of person who reads whenever I have the chance. If... I don't bury my head in the drafts department. Also, shout out to these folks that I got to know for a long period of time! (some may come from my other accounts because yolo, I'm too tired to bother clarifying my existence and identity more than once)

@oceanaiad : BAE, u r the moon to my sun-- I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, lmao. Anyway, I’m really happy to be RPing with you and I’m sad we can’t RP anymore on Tumblr, but you are amazing, girl. Your skills in the community make my heart go doki doki. Continue to be awesome, Seon, and remember to keep Lucifer under your wings. Also, plz keep Deuce from killing people with her cookies. She’s too sweet just like you you precious little honey bun <3 Let’s continue to be friends OOC and cry over Granblue Fantasy and... and the many things we cry over. just... :SLDKFJ:LKSDJF:LSKDJF SOYA SOYA SOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

@6thfleet : BRUH BRUH BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, you’re chill and you know, you’re a good listener and you’re just an adorable little puffball that I can just??? SQUISH?????? Like why are you so good in this world???? Anyway, you’re... well, to be frank, you introduced me into the KanColle fandom with a positive bang and I’m grateful that you were one of the first RPers in that fandom to interact with my newbie muse. And for someone that mostly stuck around Final Fantasy folks? That means a lot to me. So thank you for being there with me... and being there when I switch to other fandoms! That really means so much more to me too as someone so flexible. I hope we can remain friends even beyond the RPing realm! 

@chaoticflicker : onii-sama, you mean so much to me in this world. That may sound like an exaggeration, but I’m not joking about that. You’re someone that stuck with me since the very first day I stepped into RPing. I still remember those embarassing moments in Twitter that we both would like to delete 4ever, lol!! No matter if I replied or not due to my hectic life, you always take the time out of your day to drop in a positive message in both Facebook and Discord. It’s not even limited to that... in Twitter and here too. Even if I didn’t respond to them, I can surely tell you that I have read them and I feel grateful to have a friend like you in my life. As for RPing, you were always with me no matter which fandom I went into. Your Vincent... is honestly kickass and one of the best I’ve interacted with! Let’s continue to be friends and talk about gaming when we have the chance!! P.S. when will we ever have the release date for FF VII Remake and confirmation that they’re ever going to work on FF Type-Next ; ;

@convxction : FATY I AM SO SORRY I HAVE TO FINALLY RETIRE FROM THIS S:DLFKJ:SLDKJF:LSKDJF you’re like the best Chrom and Eight and Machina I’ve ever interacted and my heart cries like insane when you exist. why are you so precious and why are you so beautiful??? But seriously, I’m really happy to be your RP partners since the good old days when Type-0 used to... well... have a much bigger fandom than what we have right now, lmao. There’s probably like one or two of you leftover. ; ; I’m so sorry I’m going to disappear from this amazing tiny community. You’re an amazing RPer and you are a kind individual that the world needs more of. I hope we can continue to be friends and crey over literally everything that the world throws at us.. especially that ending of Type-0. Never forget Class Zero and Machina and Rem and Kurasame and-- 

@oursongofhealing : ok, this is going to sound like some random stalker tagged you because I’m a creep, but just letting you know that this “creep” is that other Deuce RPer who constantly disappears like a ninja (this -> @flutistplayer ,) lmaooo. Just want to let you know that I’m proud to be one of the many RPers who interacted with you. Because your Deuce is just godly??? AND I LOVE YOUR PORTRAYAL OF HER??? And for being so open to me for interaction despite us having the same muse??? Like that really means so much and you’re just amazing. I’m going to be another member from the fandom who takes their leave, so I feel guilty about it, but at the same time, I’m happy to be a part of the community with you. Continue to be the awesome RPer ! (folks rlly, follow this person because they got good skills)

@asktheattorney : Girl, you deserve so much in this world. Like so much more than the sun itself. Like... sob, you’re just an amzing RPer. I’m not going to lie, your quality really is amazing and I’m just proud to be one of the many lucky RPers who can interact with you. You’re amazing and I’m just-- I’m just a seed facing the sun and being a tiny existence, lmao. But seriously, you’re a chill person and I really enjoy talking deep OOC stuff with you!!! You’re so cool and you’re an amazing person that I’m glad to get to know! I hope we can continue to be friends beyond the RP realm! 

@shugcxrcuei-jin : BROTHER MY LONG LOST BROTHER WE ARE LITERALLY ONE OF THE SAME. Except different gender, LMAO. I’ve never met anyone who is the same hybrid as me and I’m just??? Like whoa????? AND WE LIKE THE SAME STUFF AND CRAVE FOR THE SAME STUFF LMAO. I’m so sad that we won’t be able to interact on Tumblr anymore, but hey... we can always fantasize about our muses with their future marriage, lmao. Not to mention that we have each other on Facebook, so feel free to hit me up on Messenger! I’m sure you’ll be “glad” to hear the storm of complaints on my end about schooling eventually, lmaoo

@foulmouthedscythe : OI WE SHOULD CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHEN SICE WILL POP UP IN DISSIDIA OPERA-- OR EVEN IN DISSIDIA NT-- Jokes aside, ;alksjdf;lakjsdf;laksjdf you are such an amazing RPer and I’m so happy that you’re one of the small number of Type-0 RPers that are somewhat surviving out... in the desert that is called the Final Fantasy Type-0 fandom, lmao..... Anyway, I hope we can continue to be friends beyond RPing and theorize about... everything, I suppose, lmao. P.S. Your Sice is amazing and I cry because let’s be honest, her sin level is far tinier than Deuce for whatever reason, LMAO

If I miss anyone, I apologize since there’s just so much of you, but just know that I love you all equally! With that finally out of the way, I hope you all have a wonderful life, you enjoy your day (even if it's cloudy, the sun will eventually shine), and who knows, we might bump into each other one day. Maybe.

For those that wish to continue contact with me, Discord is... actually not a good option anymore as I barely go on that platform. The best way to contact me is via Twitter at @animeminafans (kudos to those who got the pun in that username). For those who know more on a personal level, I’m more than happy to share my Facebook information. 

Deuce, Admiral Yori, and Houshou would also like to bid their farewells! We'll miss everyone and move on with our lives. They’re one of the longer running muses that stuck with me for a longer period of time. Especially the Admiral and Deuce. Those two deserve equal treatment of respect and love from... well, from me really, lmao. No one else is obligated to deal with them. But I can only hope that their interactions touched a bit in your character’s life. 

May you all achieve so much in your life as I will do my best on my end. This is farewell!

- Crystal

[mischiefandi]

Okay yallll read this if you follow me :) not clickbait, I just genuinely want you to know this stuff so you’re not confused lol

LET ME EXPLAIN

I am on hiatus in the sense that until next tuesday, I am not going to be coming up with new content. I have jotted down my ideas and the skeleton of my next chapters and such, so not to worry, you won’t have to wait too long once I’m back in the saddle, but sadly, right now I can’t deal with my fics!

I have an exam every day except for saturday and sunday obviously until tuesday so bear with me, I’m just as unhappy about this as you.

HOWEVER :)

I will be around to talk and DM, and answer asks a couple of times a day (something I haven’t been able to do all day because my phone and computer are completely uncooperative. I still have to study. Also, my queue will still very much be active.

UPCOMING FICS

I have had zero requests when it comes to fics, but I am very much open to any (just not about Dylan, sorry but I still don’t know how I feel about that). If you have a request please send it in!! ANON IS ON

Keep an eye out for 

Mine Part 2 

Blue Moon Series Chapter 3: The Detective

Nothing Good Ever Happens After 2 AM (One-Shot)

Requests (if you have some)

SMUT

Okay here’s the thing.

I have ideas for smut, and I read smut, I like smut, I have no problem with smut whatsoever is what i’m tryna say. I know a lot of you want me to get started on writing one, i did a poll a couple weeks back where at least 70% of answers out of 30 people wanted smut so I got the message haha

HOWEVERRRRR

I don’t know if I’m comfortable yet with writing smut. I don’t know all that much about writing that kind of stuff, I’m okay good with angst and low-key handling fluff but smut is a whole other thing that I’ve never tackled before which is why, when do write one, I want it to be on my own terms and when I am ready. Gimme some time, but i’ll get there ;)

NEWS FLASH

-First off, I am preparing a little surprise for you all that I’m kind of excited about, but it’s still in the works so stay tuned...

-Second, if you ever have something going on in your life, like your boyfriend cheated on you, or you’re feeling depressed, or suicidal, or you need someone to talk to or whatever, you can ALWAYS come talk to me, it can be an anon ask , it can be a DM, whatever you’re most comfortable with. I won’t always be able to provide good advice, I’m not a life guru and I don’t hold the answers to everything but I’m someone who’s willing to try because there is no reason for you to have go through your stuff alone. ANON IS ON 

However, remember I do have my own stuff every once in a while, so sometimes I won’t be able to answer straight away or always be around, I do have my own shit to go through, please remember that and try to understand.

-Right now everything is still kind of messy on my blog, I want to change themes and stuff, maybe a new icon, I DUNNO. I’m getting a new computer soon though, and once I have it, I’ll be able to get my stuff sorted and all of that!

I have 3 ongoing tag lists that you can join if you want to know when I’ve posted something new.

-FOREVER TAG LIST (send me an ask please) (I basically tag you whenever I’ve posted a new fic) (you’ll be tagged for the next one-shot)

-MINE TAG LIST (send me an ask please) (This is just for the next and LAST part of Mine, don’t even try)

-BLUE MOON SERIES (send me an ask please) (this is my Teen Wolf Rewrite Series, just 2 chapters so far, but trust me when I say that I plan on writing a LOT more)

Thank you for taking the time to read this, ilyyyyyyyy

see u soon !

PS: I’m just a few followers away from 100 (wtffff) and I cannot even begin to express how incredibly lucky I am to have you all in my life. You are amazing and supportive people I would write 10 hours straight for without hesitation. I love you guys, thank you so much for reading my stuff and for listening to me rant about stuff, I really really love you and I am so lucky!!!!!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[dojaeism-archived]

No problem, respond however long after sjsjsjsjsjsjsj how are you? Yes, I'm taking care; it's starting to get really chilly and almost my entire family is down with the flu due to weather change 😔 but I'm well (hopefully they get soon too)! Omg thank you haha I also have this fear of rambling to the point the other person gets annoyed at my propensity for talking a tad too much - ❄️

hello and i hope you’ve been doing well!

Lol I've been meaning to start making stuff for tbz too but we'll see, maybe my multi blog will become a tbz/astro blog with a sprinkle of some other groups because of my desire to create content for all groups but not wanting to commit to too many (as if these aren't already enough haha) we've still got more than a month to go so as of right now, my only hope is that I don't accidentally reveal myself - ❄️

Oof I hate it when my mother/grandma say that! but as I enjoy doing it all I have no problem making meals; provided no one comes into the kitchen and pesters me about 'not putting enough salt/spices' or 'cutting the onions before cutting the chillis' etc... that is what makes my mind go blank and then I'm more likely to mess up the recipe - ❄️

I think I like this one more, the cream cheese makes it dense and really heavy + the flavour is too overpowering; but yogurt is like a blank canvas to paint with different flavours as it's taste is almost negligible yet at the same time retains the tart/yogurt-like essence! Only thing is that it takes a little longer because you have to drain the yogurt in a cloth to remove excess water if it's not greek and the plain normal one :/ - ❄️

It is hard to find that stuff here too but as my mother makes most of it herself, we're able to have it! omg same here! I would just sit down and gif a TON but now I barely have the energy or time to... hence why I'm trying to make a schedule based on what blogs to gif for each or every 2 days~ HAHA I get that a little too well; my ult group is the one I've barely giffed and I really wanna change that soon too - ❄️

Ooh, fellow stay! (don't worry; once you meet me off anon, I will make you an ot8 stan in no time :D) tbh the reason I got into watching their survival program was because I heard there was a guy with a dEEP voice and when I checked them out I quite liked aussie line and the other members! I recently started giffing them but I think I enjoy making skz content the most, can't pinpoint why but I'm always most happy then... - ❄️

Ah, txt are very talented and among great 4th gen groups! I bias ot5 but my inner bamtori (Beomgyu stan) gets a little spotlight at times too hehe you're exactly like my brother/friend they love the fighting more than anything so at times we team up and I play the brain teasers while they shoot! I hope you're taking care too, and thank you :( I really enjoy talking to you as well! - ❄️

ahh i hope your family’s getting better, it’s always hard to recover from the flu especially during the colder seasons :( do make sure you’re taking care of yourself too though, we wouldn’t want you falling ill :(  and noo as always, i enjoy receiving your asks (even if i take forever to respond) and they always brighten up my day!

ohh omg you like astro? im not into many bgs tbh but astro are definitely one of my favs (✿╹◡╹)  but lol i get u, whenever im sending anons to my person (im not sure what to call them?????? help) i get so paranoid that ive forgotten to make sure im on anon 😭😭 

i feel you! idk if its just me but its so much more difficult to cook when there are other people in the kitchen monitoring you or telling you what to do, i always feel like i’ll mess up when someone’s watching me, even if im making something as simple as instant noodles! 

that’s really interesting!! we make our own yoghurt here too, because my aunt is like this weird health nut who’s obsessed with never ever eating anything store bought LOL but i’ll have to look into some recipes and see how it goes!! 

omg its cool that you’re making a schedule to gif though, that at least helps with keeping on track with stuff and making sure that you don’t get distracted and suddenly end up in a giffing hole for several hours! i keep trying to take a hiatus from tumblr but every time im away a million things drop and i just have this urge to gif because i want my blog to be like an ~ archive ~ and he (jaehyun 😡) is just so cute i can’t help it LOLL but hopefully ill get myself together soon and stop spending so much time on here 😩😩🙏🏼

ngl i do not know any other skz members apart from felix and hyunjin lmfao but i look forward to getting to know them better (with you, hopefully hehe) txt sound great! i dont really have the time or energy to get into any groups (i can barely keep up with ONE now) but i’ll definitely try to find some time to give them a listen! 

i hope you’re doing well and not stressing yourself out too much, remember to bundle up when you’re going out and stay safe!! 

[katgiringiringirin]

I Need U Part 12/? [+ semi hiatus]

[gif cred to owner]

Member: Yoongi, but all of Bangtan will appear.

Genre: Angst maybe a lil bit of fluff?

Words: 1.8k words

Synopsis: You’re invisible, a nobody, no friends - no nothing. Your mom died while running away from your still abusive and drunk father. You live a life no one wants, but a shared passion for piano seems to perk your interest. Who is Min Yoongi? The answer may have changed your life.

Warnings: Strong language, violence, can be triggering for some and… Just don’t read it if you can’t handle abusiveness, sexual assault and stuff.

A/N: I’m super sorry for the late update. But I’ve had a hard time at home right now. I don’t want to explain it for everyone here to read so if you really want to know you can just send me a message. Since the story has pretty dark stories etc. I’m not in the mood of writing a lot right now. So I hope you understand. I’ll post whenever I feel ready again but hopefully I’ll finish it soon. Thank you for sticking with me this far and I hope you can survive to the next parts. I’ll try to finalize it as soon as possible though.

>>| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9  | Part 10 | Part 11 |<<

>>| Masterpost |<<

Previously:

“Yeah, what did you expect us to do? Just sit around?” Jungkook asks as he looks at you. That question hit home and you didn’t know what to say. What did I expect?

“I agree that we need to help her, but we need to be smart about it. It will be hard to do anything without them finding out. We just don’t know how at the moment…” Rapmon says as he spirals into his train of thoughts “We need to come up with a plan.”  

It’s been a month since that plan was made. Life had floated on pretty normally, your dad was still your dad and things still happened to you. The boys weren’t happy to know you still went through it and sometimes they would get angry at you for not fighting back. At the same time though, they knew you were powerless, at least for now. Until then you had to secretly meet up and gather everything needed for the plan.

So maybe your life wasn’t floating on as normally now that you really think of it.

You and the boys continued to kind of ignore each other at school, all of you agreed it was better like that. The rumors spreading about you and Jungkook went ignored and soon they also settled down. Sometimes you’d get the evil eye, but mostly you just continued living in the shadows.

The plan would soon take off, and therefore you started to grow nervous. You were scared of what would happen if the plan failed. In this past month you’d grown attached to all the boys. Especially Yoongi, he always texting asking if you were okay. 

But he hadn’t texted all week... It was probably of what happened last week 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” his voice covered in concern. 

“I am alright, now I can’t talk for long my da-” you were cut off as your dad stomped into the room, red in the face from anger.

“Who are you talking to?” he demanded as he ripped the phone out of your grip.

“No one” you lied as a reflex. You flinched at your own stupidity. He sneered as you as he looked at the phone “Really? No one? Then explain why this ‘no one’ has been calling you for the last 15 minutes? Who are you even?” he asked the phone before the screen showed the all had ended. 

You were happy you decided to change the names of the guys to something other than their real names. 

“Piano teach?” he asked, at the same time realization hit him the color started to drain from his face. Serves him right to get worried leaking out his dark secrets. 

“He can’t do anything anyways... That’s right you don’t have to worry... Everything will be fine” he muttered to himself as he clutched the phone to his chest while frantically looking around the room until his eyes landed on you. 

“You...” his eyes glistened with that same insane glaze as usual, making you want to crawl into the ground and just hide. 

But that wasn’t an option.

You pry the memories away. It must be hard for him too, reliving some of it by just hearing my father’s voice. And probably also scared of what would happen to me if he called again. The day after the call I stayed at home, the pain too much for me to be able to put the act up. Dad had laid on the floor of my room all day, so I’d stayed in the kitchen. You shake your head away from that day. Think positively. 

You suddenly remembered the last time you had hung out with the boys and the picture of Hobi in a dress made you smile involuntarily as you walked into the house you no longer called home. Just a temporary prison that would remind you of the freedom you would soon be able to taste.

“What are you smiling at?” the devil himself utters out of his mouth as he walks down the stairs to meet you in the hall. You face drop instantly and panic starts to fill you.

“It’s just a nice day outside that’s all” you lie, you hope it would be enough. 

“I know when you lie Princess” he says with a sneer. The bag you held falls to the floor as he walks behind you to close the door with a slam “You seem awfully happy lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed” he whispers in your ear as his hands sneak around your body. 

You want to scream, let out everything, punch him, scratch him, choke him... You just want him to die. You don’t want to breathe the same air as him ever again, but you can’t do anything. Is the plan crushed now? Does he know? The big rock of doubt and uncertainty made you feel more uncomfortable as ever. 

It was as if all of the bad feelings you previously felt came slamming back all at once. All the happiness the last month had given you disappeared in an instant. As if someone had sucked you straight into the black hole again. 

If he knows about what’s going on, you will never be able to escape. The plan is your only shot... A deep breath escapes your lips as his ghost over your neck. “Stop crying, I’ll be gentle today” he whispers and it’s not until now you notice tears were running down your eyes. 

When you open your eyes you’re met with nothing but darkness. The clock on the wall shows 3:02. The sigh that leaves your fragile body is nothing but heavy. You would think that after all this time your body would have been used to all of this - but no... it’s as sore as ever. “I’ll be gentle today” his voice rings through your ears again. Gentle my ass. But it’s not like he haven’t done worse before.

Going to sleep again is no option so it’s better to just do something you decide. The clothes from yesterday lie in a heap on the floor. Staring at it isn’t making it better, but you can’t take your eyes off it. 

You just wish for everything to go as planned. It’s not long until it’s time you remind yourself. That little spark of hope that still managed to stretch out into the black hole, lighting up the way out once again. 

Yoongi’s POV

I wonder how she’s doing. I reach out for my phone looking at the clock 3:02. Frustrated and unable to sleep I decide to just get up. It’s not like I’ll get any more sleep right?

My thoughts constantly wander back to her. Is she okay? Too scared to contact her again, in case her dad does something stupid and it just. I’m starting to go crazy. I can’t believe how somebody can do that to their daughter, how anyone can do it to someone as her. She doesn’t deserve it. 

Before I know it myself I’m standing in my kitchen with a glass of water. Sipping on the glass I place myself on the couch. 

“Why are you up this early?” Namjoon asks as he walks into the living room. 

“Couldn’t sleep” I mutter as I drink up the glass and lay down on the couch. 

“Y/N?” he asks as he takes a seat on the other side and I nod while still looking up at the ceiling. “Just hold out for a little longer. It’s almost time” he reminds me.

“I know. But that doesn’t help. Until then she still has to stay with that monster!” I say as I draw a hand across my face in frustration. It seems to be a feeling I can’t really get rid of lately.

“I know it might be har-” 

“No you don’t!” I yell out but instantly regret it “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to scream I’m just so... frustrated. All the time. I feel more helpless now than I’ve ever felt before” I explain “I know we’re helping but it’s not as fast as I’d like it to. I like her and that’s why. Wait.” I just backtracked to the words leaving my mouth. Did I just say I liked her? I take a pause. Too in my thoughts to notice Namjoon stiffening and then relaxing with a smile at the end of the couch. 

“I like her” I mumble out. It’s true. I don’t know how. But it’s true.

“I knew you did you little shit. Asexual my ass” Namjoon teased as he slapped my knee. “Ya!” I snapped angrily at him. “I’m still older than you, show me some respect” I complain as I cross my arms and make myself comfortable again.

“Yeah yeah whatever, I’m still the leader” he teases and I roll my eyes behind my eyelids. “I know you’re not asleep hyung” he sing-songs. I squint with one of my eyes and look at him “You knew I liked her?” I ask as I look at his reaction. Face back to serious he nods. “How?” I ask and sit up. 

“Really hyung? How? You literally won’t shut up about her. You’re zoning out 24/7 and you seem ready to fight someone every time Y/N’s dad is mentioned... See?” He motions to my balled fists. I look down at them myself and shake them open. How didn’t I notice this earlier? 

“Don’t you also want to punch him though? You’ve seen what he’s done to her” I say as I look up at him

“Of course I want to. But I know that won’t really solve any problems unless we actually kill him. I did a check on this guy and it’s like he owns the town. I don’t know how but you know Y/N’s mom?” he asks and I nod my head. Remembering the story about her mother.

“Yeah that’s not the first time it has happened. Before Y/N was born and he had met her mom he was together with another woman. She also died quickly after leaving the house. The police barely did any research about it before deeming it as an accident and then closing the case. They didn’t even catch the driver, nor did they try” Namjoon says as his brows furrows “This man is dangerous. And Y/N has been smart in not trying to run away or do something” 

“Are you serious?” I ask and gulp. Namjoon looks at me dead in the eyes “Of course I’m serious. I found some more cases that could be linked to him, but I didn’t want to dig into it too much in case someone was watching” he says as he looks out the window. “This guy seems fishy and I believe we should be very careful before setting the plan into motion”

“As much as I really want to punch a hole straight through his head I trust you. From what I already know he’s dangerous. But if what you’re saying is true...” I pause “I really can’t leave her there for long. I can’t lose her” 

“You’re not going to lose anyone alright? Stop worrying” he reassures me “As long as we don’t do something drastic everything should go as planned” he pats my shoulder before standing up “But I’m quite tired now, you should also go to bed hyung. Tomorrow is an important day for the plan you know” he reminds me and I sigh as I plop down onto the couch again.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch” 

“Whatever makes you sleep at night... Literally” I throw one of the pillows at him as he exits the room. 

“Just hold on for a little bit more Y/N” I whisper was I close my eyes, my heart beating for her too tonight.

A/N: I hope you liked this and for now I’ll be on a small hiatus. I’ll try and finish this off soon though so stay tuned. But for now I’m announcing this hiatus (although I had one earlier too just unannounced hahaha). Thanks for reading this far though! 

[kuroheishi]

aRGH I am so sorry guys this is so hella late, moving to another country is a huge thing and I found time only now to write this thing down, but finally I can throw all of my fierce love on ya 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE +600 FOLLOWERS!!!!!

That’s a huge milestone for me and I am so flattered so many people follow this blog?? However! Before starting to name one by one all the wonderful people I gotta thank in here, I gotta announce that this is going to be a kinda uh... Hiatus post too? From next week everything is going to get even busier when @littlxlamb is gonna come and get me to kindap me, so... I don’t know when I will get again some more free time to be on here. IT MAKES ME SAD TO SAY BYE ON HERE BUT LIFE AAAAAHHHHHH 

WELL ANYWAYS! I’LL COME BACK FOR SURE!! Even if super rarely I’ll always come back online in here because this is like a small second home for me heh.

I am so grateful for these two years in this fandom, Yuu has completely changed my life; I found the Mika in my life heh and I got to learn so much from my muse and I wanna give as much love as he does to the world no matter of how cruel it can be. I learnt and I keep learning so freaking much from the people I have met in here and I just- I don’t know, I love everything of Owari no Seraph, Yuu and all the friendos I found here.

Thank you so much everyone!! 

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Thank you to those who have stayed here since the very beggining, all the old and new friendos, it’s like having this huge family and even if sometimes we might even fight like it happens in all families it’s cool to always see you all around, fighting sometimes also helps to make bonds stronger right? 

I am so grateful to everyone who RPed with me or who even sent me just one ask, I appreciate this so very much!! Thank you for the patience, for when I get super heated about Yuu shbjsdhjksdhksd I just can’t help it rubs rubs head! SO THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH THAT!! 

And at last, thank you again to every single follower! YES YOU WHO ARE READING THIS LONG SENTIMENTAL POST POINTS AT! Thank you for the support by following this blog, it means a lot to me ya know? It’s like telling me I am not doing so bad with my Yuu portrayal, that you like what I post/reblog and well- this blog will always be hella important to me, it has a special place in my heart so I’ll never stop to thank all of you!!

It’s a shame we all live in so many different places because I’d treat y’all to some curry or ice cream as a thank you but damn I hope my gratitude can reach you by this long ass post hahaha

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!! THROWS MOUNTAINS OF GOOD VIBES AT!!

If anyone has an Instagram account and idk if you’re interested in crap cosplay or you want to keep better in touch with me during my hiatus period, you can follow me on here:

@kisshiichu

I post pretty much often there! And it will be easier for me to reply to stuff and all!

Gonna put all the rest on read more because it’s going to be hella l ong, good luck everyone to find your tag down there thumbs up!

Credits for the amazing follow forever banner go to @littlxlamb as usual because damn you’re so talented and thank you for always doing this cool stuff for me ahhhhh you’re too kind to me Nia buries you in a huge a hug!! I don’t know how you knew I wanted all the family in the picture but ahhh thank you!!

P.s. as usual I am so freaking sorry if I forget anyone but my head lately is even more messy with the moving matter, so please forgive me sdhsdghsd

Family

@littlxlamb: HELLO MIKANIA!! It’s two years we know each other and it doesn’t sound real right? But at the same time it’s like woah, only two freaking years?? Since the beginning it has always been weird how well clicked, how we could talk 5ever and be so in sync if that makes sense? AND NOW WE’RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER I AM SO EXCITED I COULD CLIMB A TREE OR SOMETHING EUDBJSDSD I know it’s gonna be hella hard at the beginning, but I also know that there is no other place I could be if not next you ya know? So I’m gonna roll up my sleeves and work hard for both us! But hey, I’ll tell u this face to face, but thank you for always being by my side since the beginning. Thank you for always supporting me, for giving me a family, for giving me a purpose, thank you for making me laugh and for scolding me when I need it heh I know I’m an idiot sometimes, right? Thank you for being born and for being in my life, I am so glad our blogs brought us this close, that’s why I’ll always be grateful to Yuu, Mika and ons for allowing us to meet. I promise that from next week I’ll fight side by side with you, you are so talented in the things you do that I am sure step by steop you will reach your goals and I will be always there to cheer for you!! I’ll work hard to be your pillar and to make you smile at least once a day AND I AM NOT GONNA FAIL FIST UP!

@brassboundvalkyrie: mama Kiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! I know lately I haven’t been very active on our fam group chat, but hey never forget I love you okay?? You’re hella awesome and cool, I will never stop reminding you that, I gotta learn from you tbh. But I mean, not only for you writing and cosplay skills, just one day wanna be a mature adult like you, you’re like my adult inspiration if that makes sense A REAL MAMA! I am so happy that you’re finally having a good time with your new work tho!! It’s actually kinda cute how you sound excited about it, so I’m really glad to see you like that heh. And well you know that even if I am not super active on this blog, that I’ll always keep in touch with you through Skype!! SO YOU WON’T MISS ME TOO MUCH HAH 

@rutilisanguinis: BARA PAPA VAMPIRE!! I actually don’t know why Lau but with you it comes more natural to act like this bratty rebellious kid since we have started talking two years ago woah. LAU DAMN THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME BACK THEN!! I am so glad we met, you even formed our Skype fam basically and I just wish you all the good things with your health, work and life in general because you deserve it! I hope one day we will meet again for sure, we must!! AH!! Almost forgot to thank you again for the adorable gift, like sdghsdghjsd it made me so flattered that you thought about me?? It was so kind of you ahhhhhhhhhh

@fortisgladio: Lizzie ah damn what can I say about you? I am glad Yuu allowed me to meet someone like you, someone as passionate (IF NOT MORE) than me about ons and especially our precious sunshine boy! No matter if we have similar thoughts about him or not, just thank you so much for how much love you put in everything you write and do!! You’re a wonderful huge bright sun, it’s always uh... I forgot English for a sec hang on lemme check the dictionary- comforting?? Yes that too, and it brightens my day whenever I get to exchange few words with you; seeing you on my dash is always wonderful too, I love your writing so freaking much shakes the pc! You are an ispiration for me, thank you for being my friend and for always being this kind, I really appreciate that so damn much. I just wish for everything in your life to go super well, for you to always find the strength to fight it IF YOU NEED TO PUNCH STRUGGLES I’LL BE BY YOUR SIDE BRUH!! I am just sending you all the love and good vibes because you must get all of the happiness and love!!!!!

@undyingxloyalty: slides huge ice cream in here- KAT LEMME SCREAM TO THE OCEAN ABOUT HOW OF AN AMAZING FRIEND YOU ARE!!! Do you understand how grateful I am that you’re in my fam zone?? Because ahhhhh lately we finally got talk more and I’m so glad we did!! You have always been so freaking supportive with me and I have always wondered, the heck do I deserve such wonderful friends around me?? That’s why I wanna give you back everything you do for me!! All the kinds words always ready to hit me hard, this helpful aura you have around yourself and how I feel chill because I know somehow you’ve always kept an eye on me somehow?? All of that has always given much happiness kay, so I hope I can give you as much of that to you, because I wanna see you happy!! You deserve it sooooooo much! And don’t think I forgot about your stunning writing, I am so flattered I got to write with such a skilled writer as you are, you’re Mika is freaking well portayed that damn I just scream. Thank you for being an ispiration too, remember to stay always cool and safe!! 

@sassyshinoahiiragi: Chelsea damn you’re always such a sweet friend with me! Time zone sucks because it doesn’t help us to catch each other online, but I don’t care just thank you for always being this supportive EVEN TOO MUCH SOMETIMES AJHKSDHKJSDHKJSD still grateful for that tho, I hope I can be as supportive for you?? Like I really wish everything will go well for you, because all the happiness must hit you hard! I miss writing with you, but remember that Yuu and I will always wait for Shinoa and you to come back!! I have always been hella flattered you contacted me and all, that you like my Yuu so thank you so much /////  Even tho I will be on hiatus here, I hope I can get to jump on ya even from England!! SO SEE YOU SOON HEH

@fallenangelmikaela: FLIES FOR A TACKLE HUG!!!!! Okay Alice as you said... We’ve been mutuals for how long? Two years?? Since I have started my blog and heck, for time zone and all we didn’t even get to talk that much til these last months, but I’m so happy we finally got closer kay? Because you’re such a cool friendo and I have so much fun talking to you, RPing with your Mika too!! I even told you that for my Yuu your Mika is like hella important to him!! Thank you for being patient with my noisiness, I have you on Skype and Instagram so I am sure we’ll keep in touch somehow even during my hiatus AND I AM GLAD KAY. Stay always safe and I wish you too much much much happiness, I am still crossing my finger for you and your thing hah, so I am sure one day something super woah and good is gonna happen to you!!

@chiheisxn: dude. buries u under affection. Even tho you always hit me with angst AND YOU KNOW YOU DO, thank you for even doing that. I really appreciate every single ask you send me, you have so much creativity and talent in writing, you’re so funny and yet you can be so heart breaking with your threads that damn. I adore that. I am still so sorry for all the shit that has happened back then, I hate seeing friends struggling and being attacked, so never forget to come to me if someone ever dares to even say a bad words on you kay? Because I am gonna get them so hard, no one should receive hate, especially my FRIENDS and for dumb stuff like jeez. I will miss seeing you around when I’ll be away BUT I WILL BE SURE TO BE BACK TO JUMP ON YOU AND YUU ON YOUR AKANE!!

@thatonecoolnara & @inuzukachii: where you guys at?????? I actually saw Madara mum around lately on here but I didn’t wanna bother, I just keep an eye on you two thanks to socials heh, but I hope you’re both doing great! Just wanted to remind you guys that even if we might be not in touch that I always check on you guys and that I still care for you two a lot kay? Always gonna keep a thought for you two and wishing hard for the best in your life!

@littlepsychedelicdream: Madi-chan damn I am sorry lately we didn’t talk like at all? But probably you’re busy too and I just hope you’re doing well!! We’ve know each other for some years already and hey, never forget that no matter if we talk or not, if life is busy and stuff, you’ll always be this very cool friendo, reliable, sweet, kind and hella fun to talk to! You have a great talent, both in writing and art so I am crossing my fingers so hard for you, I am sure you’ll reach your goals, I believe in you!!

The Squad

@asura-the-black: ahhhhhh bruh!! I hope you’re doing well, but hey just wanted to keep reminding you that I am still glad for all the times we got to RP!! Because your writing is just so stunning, so strong with feels to hit me hard in the heart! Thank you for that and for even discussing with me about headcanons!! My Yuu will always keep your Asuramaru in his heart kay? I hope you’re having fun and that you’re safe!! ONE DAY WE’LL WRITE MORE AGAIN!! I love your blog too much sdjsdksdkds

@poenitet: woah dad, I am gonna tag you with Guren’s blog because that’s how we met heh. I’m sorry lately I’ve been hella busy and we also kinda distanced ourselves but yeah, you’re really kinda Guren style and I keep my distance too if I know I might anger someone ya know, I am just really empathic I guess and since I like talking with you very much I get kinda sad if I feel like I might anger you. You’re such a talented writer and artist honestly that I hope you’ll find your happy path someday! I am glad we got to talk so much about Owari no Seraph and especially about Guren, I have always missed in here someone to write Guren and Yuu’s bond with me, because it just gives me huge feels and idk you’re perfect in that? Your Guren is just the dad for my Yuu that I really cannot describe in proper words how my son feels damn. Just huge fierce love for your Guren, that’s it. Thank you anyways for allowing me to write with you and for showing me your cool drawings, I had much fun!! YOU NERD. 

@elyon-kurae: hey Lily!!! First lemme tell you that I must confess your OC is literally like the first one who caught me properly, I mean, damn I admire people for writing original characters but you also gotta have talent to pull out something cool and girl you have it! That is why, since you are always so super supportive with me, I wish I can give you as much support! Because you write Elyon so freaking well, her personality and all, you are an artist too so I can always wish you to improve in everything you love! Fight your struggles, I know you can do it but never forget to rely on friends when you feel down because people care for you and they’re only glad to help you kay? Call me if you gotta punch trouble, I’ll hurry to kick butts with you!!

@ofsnipcr: FLA DAMN I ACTUALLY GOTTA CONTACT YOU TO ASK YOU IF YOU’RE COMING TO THE CON WOAH. But hey, I still remember the first time you commented under a post of mine, back then the dash was full of new people for me and you offered a hand to me, to get comfy in this new fandom so never gonna thank you for that! You are one of the sweetest friends I know really, you’re so talented and I love your Shinya so much! Your writing is amazing too like how can you do it sdhjsdhsd but yes imma contact you, because it would be so wonderful to meet you finally!! And have fun together heh. Thank you for everything and a huge good luck with everything you gotta do!! Throws tones of good luck and love vibes at!!

@monophagia: Vero, darkness my old friend. Why do I even try to make jokes when I can’t sdgjsdhjsdsd ANYWAYS. Dude, you’re talented kay? So leave the the bad stuff behind your back and just lemme shower you in compliments because beside your amazing writing skills, I mean you’re an ispiration for me when I read your threads, you’re also such a cool artist?? So thank you for even wanting to write with me, I am so flattered sdhjgksdghkjds  SO STAY ALWAYS COOL, I know that Yuu and Saito don’t have much of a uh... Chance to have much interaction I guess? BUT THAT’S WHY AUs EXIST I LOVE YOUR SAITO KAY 

@lordgeales: jii-chan’s kissy friend points at! NO OKAY BESIDE JOKES!! I am sorry we didn’t get to talk much but?? I am very noisy I know shjdshjsdbnsd but I might be shy too kay. Tho you better know that I love your portrayal, your writing YOUR BLOG, thank you for loving so much a character who hasn’t appeared much on the manga yet and for giving it life!! Also you are so sweet, you even thought about me for that crack thing you once sent me on IM and that made me so flattered and happy woah. I hope in the future we will get to RP more too!! 

@lestkarrkingofeurope: ahhhhhhh bruh!! I just wanted to tell you that your blog is FREAKING AWESOME!! Thank you for giving the fandom the blessing of your small King, I am so sorry I didn’t get to make Yuu jump on your muse sdjskjsda but I hope in the future I’ll get to write something with you because I’d be so flattered to! EVEN CRACK STUFF I just love your portrayal, your writing is just too stunning. Keep on with the great work and right! Thank you for working hard with your friends on the ons chapters, translating and editing them for the fandom!! 

@lendmeyourpower: heyyy there!! Just wanted to tell you that I love writing with your Guren!! And to always remind you that your Yuu was my first very inspiration in here when I just started with my blog! Thank you for wanting to write with my Yuu, it made me so very glad and remember I’m always wishing and cheering for your good health! I hope you can get better soon and fight your troubles!!

@ai-kizu-rp: MELY-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thank you for being patient with me and for still keeping in touch with me, I keep seeing your drawings and I am cheering for you to reach higher goals with your talent!! I’ll never forget our funny times on my other RP blog, it’s a shame life doesn’t give as much time anymore to play on all of my blogs and that I focused on Yuu because he’s my spirit animal but sdghjsahgksa I will keep cheering for you from here!!!

@snipec: I have written so much I don’t know anymore what I am doing BUT JUST LEMME SAY THAT YOUR SHINYA IS AMAZING AND I HAVE MUCH FUN WRITING WITH YOU even tho I am always slow as heck BUT HE’S LIKE DAD #2 BECAUSE OF GUREN and you’re also very sweet and I hope we’ll get to interact more in the future aghjshkjsdk YUU WILL EAT TOATS WITH SHINYA ONE DAY

@selfxloathingxvamp: ahhhh hello there!! I am sorry we stopped talking because I disappeared but sdhjgsdhjsgd LIFE KEPT ME BUSY and at some point discord started to lag too so I got annoyed, me vs technlogy is a costant struggle. But hey! I wanted to thank you for being so damn kind to me, it’s always something I appreciate so much EVEN IF U CHALLENGED ME MANY TIMES IMMA ALWAYS FITE U BRUH. And you’re a super fun person to talk to, cool to RP with too! Your writing is on spot with Mika and I still hope that when I will be back I will get to talk more again with you!! Just good luck with yout stuff kay? Always gonna cross my fingers for cool friendos, that’s why I hope you get to meet with @yuichiroisms one day!! It’s cool to have someone you care so much by your side heh, so imma take this chance to tell Eri too that I wish you guys all the best, hope your paths will meet for real real one day!! Just work hard on it and if you need some help on lifting struggle don’t mind calling me, imma directly punch down the wall thumbs up!!!

@crusaderce: u know that Yuu has not accepted yet Crowley as the cuddle buddy for mama Horn right? Yuu staring intensly in the distance. Tho wait besides jokes friendo, with all of your blogs I have seen in this fandom, you write your muses so well! I love seeing how your Crowley is basically a kindergarten done teacher who gotta keep an eye on the brats bugging him sdghsdhjgsdhjksd I HOPE WHEN I’LL BE BACK WE’LL GET TO WRITE MORE TOGHER!! Stay always awesome and safe!!

@ofichinose: ahhhhhhhh friendo your Guren is just so freaking amazing, HONESTLY LIKE ALL THE MUSES YOU WRITE AS!! I am so grateful there is someone like you always fighting for Guren and who  writes such interesting analysis about him, I am glad there is someone like you to defend the dad heh. Also!!! I am so glad I got to write something with your Aoi, because at least for me it sounds so interesting and a huge battle of who’s more determined and stubborn on their ideals! So I am looking forward to seeing how it’s going to develop!! Keep on with the great work!!

@krullish: !!!!!!! Even tho we kinda have never had the chance to interact here so much because of life keeping us busy, time zone and much other crap, always gonna remind you how cool and talented you are!! You were the first blog in here I followed of the fandom and I’m glad I found you!! Thank you for always being kind because that’s a huge thing for me and I’m glad somehow I can keep an eye on you from Instagram because I admire your cosplay skills so much!! Who knows, maybe one day we’ll get to cosplay together with Nia?? It would be hella cool! Good luck with everything you gotta do and keep on with the great work!!

@retentionsx: KASPAR!! I wanted to apologise that we didn’t have much of a chance to interact in the end, but unfortunately when you came around I also got kinda busy, but hey! You’re an amazing person kay? For the few things I got to see of you, you are such a great presence in my dash and I am so glad we met! You’re hella talented, never forget about it! Your Yato, your writing is amazing and thank you so freaking much for brightening my days when you’d be around!! Just thank you so much, I wish you all the happiness because you deserve it!! Throws tones of happy vibes at!!

@all-i-want-is-yuu: friendo!! Just imma throw on you all the good vibes too because I feel like you sometimes don’t believe in your skills when?? Hey you’re a cool person, kind and sweet and that’s already something big! Thank you for being a supportive friend and remember you write super well too!! You’ll have to wait for my reply but looking forward to seeing how it’s gonna develop our thread of Yuu accidentally stealing Mika’s boots snorts

  LAST HUGE SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE, EVEN THOSE I MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS JUST KINDA EXPLODING BUT I REALLY LOVE Y’ALL AND YOU’RE ALL AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS PLACE A GREAT PLACE AND FOR MAKING MY EXPERIENCE IN HERE SO AWESOME!!