#// but DAMN the shipping wars and shipping harassers sure are!

[demonsfate]

Tekken rp seems to be more popular on Twitter tbh

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Twitter rp.

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

completely agree with your sto-litz vs Husker-Dust analysis- and wanted to add another little thing that just...kills my possible enjoyment of the former even without the horribly abusive context- the show never bothers to show them having a good time together. Never bothered to show them as friends.

Either it's Stolas harassing Blitzo, him being visibly aggravated and....angst. Lots and lots of angst. Like even if that owl wasn't the literal worse why would I enjoy a ship that....doesn't enjoy themselves? Like Hazbin's latter half being so rushed affected all the meaningful interactions- Husk/Dust included- but I still got to see some genuine moments from them post-episode 4 where they were friends- like Angel dropping Nifty on Husk's head and going full "deal with it bro" or them doing target practice together before the war- those little glimpses of comradery and playfulness you see in people that like the other. Y'know, friends.

And when the show DOES try to show them as friends it's just....so bad. Like the whole childhood friends mess that I won't touch with a 20 meter stick and episode 2x2- ie Stolas ignoring his missing child (again) in favor of getting onto his obsession's pants LITERALLY EPISODES after their whole"break up" moment in Ozzies.... these two can't even be friends, how the hell I am supposed to believe they can be a couple? Again, it's just not fun to watch.

Ah thanks anon! Glad you liked it. I know people have issues with H*skerdust and I really do get why as their ship involves a lot of contentious topics. And Hazbin was so so sooooo insanely rushed. You are basically forced to fill in bits using your own head which you shouldn't have to. But, it still works to me.

I think if you're doing unrequited attention -> requited attention in a story then it can be really tricky to get it right. Especially when it involves very sexually charged attention and not more reserved attention. But I'd say that making Angel a forced sex worker who's being hypersexual to cope is a lot better than making someone with immense class power and who is sexually repressed then go crazy and become obsessive about one specific lower class person he met as a kid and had his dad buy him to entertain him likeee ????

Husk sees through what Angel's doing with his act and he sees some of himself and how he is trapped too. So he pushes him to be better and once they reconcile with Loser Baby he continues to encourage Angel to be better and only THEN does he start to reciprocate affection or admiration or any positive kind of feelings, only when Angel changes and shows that he can be something other than a pot of lewd jokes towards Husk. They they reach that moment of understanding. They become happier together. They don't just make each other actively worse. They had angst but they overcame it. I could see them also having further angst potentially yet overcoming it again in a believable way.

While St*litz? Yeah it really is just misery misery and more misery and there's nothing wrong with making a ship that involves misery. The problem is lying to us that a miserable ship isn't miserable. We as the audience see so much damn misery and little else like you said, yet we're supposed to love their ship and believe deep down they're madly in love in a way that can totally be healthy and they're a great end game? They always seem one disaster away from a huge emotional blowout if they're not having sex, and everything constantly being sexual is only adding fuel to the fire of their issues. They have nothing in common. Huskerdust both have addiction issues, soul contracts, seem to like similar things I'm sure Angel would gladly play poker with Husk or they would go bar hopping together etc. While you have a booksy library nerd and then you have a guy who's just not into any of that. And that could still work but they need to establish other things they DO have in common. Right now we've only really seen the differences.

What would St*litz do if hanging out together? I feel like everything St*las would suggest would just have Blitz disinterested and disrespecting it lol. St*las has been obsessed with Blitz since birth like some kind of weird fixation. Love at first sight... as a child? Wtf? That look St*las gives Blitz all blushy as a child is while he knew NOTHING about the actual Blitz and who he is. That's the kind of crush as a child you grow the hell out of to still be thinking about 1 day as a child years later to that extent is insane and not healthy.

While Blitz meanwhile never thought of him again. Then only had sex with him when they met again as adults out of pity after seducing and tying him up to distract him so he could escape his house. And may I also add that St*las put that idea into his head to flirt with the weird "You're here to ravish me" and "nefarious intentions" comments.

St*las makes this face as he says hes going to take Blitz to his room and handle him. And then says all those comments to Blitz while the two of them are now alone in St*las' bedroom. St*las. Why did you decide to take Blitz to your bedroom. Why did you make that face. Why did you say those comments to someone you had only met as a child for one day and then they broke into your house. Its apparently all not serious, those weird sexually charged comments you began making towards someone you met once as a child and barely knew??? Then. Then why say them at all. Whats the joke? Why would you tell who's basically a stranger alone with you in your bedroom with you a joke like that? That's such a bizzare fucking thing to do.

So then Blitz starts to get physical and flirts back and St*las says he was just kidding with the flirting/jokes (the writing for St*las is so inconsistent and dogshit I s2g) and he tries to back out. In a panic over the book and escaping Blitz keeps going and ignores St*las wanting to back out (fucking GROSS that they wrote Blitz as doing this). Then St*las gives into it? Its just so fucking awkward and gross feeling that entire scene. And its the foundation for their entire adult relationship going forwards. EW. Husk and Angel's foundation is Husk getting him to snap out of being hypersexual and boundary crossing for both their sake's. Blitz and St*las, they never seem to make each other better they just seem to be miserable and constantly lie to each other. They barely seem to know or care what the other wants and needs.

Blitz being around St*las just encourages St*las' insane hypersexual behaviors which bring out the worst in him because yeah those are harassing behaviors and have a weird racial/species fetishizing undertone. For Angel they were a way of pretending he really did like being a sexual object and that's why when Husk called it enough and said he should recognize that his situation is bad instead of trying to pretend he likes it he stopped; Husk wasn't the thing actually motivating the issues. While Blitz absolutely is with St*las, St*las is unhealthily obsessed with him. And that motivates him to abuse his power and to ignore his daughter's needs. St*las shouldn't be around Blitz because it clearly causes him to act in ways which hurt others and himself because he clearly doesn't know how to act right towards Blitz in any capacity. His attraction is not normal or healthy.

[maul-of-shame]

J-3: The Acolytes Refuge

Okay so after a few days of thinking, there we go.

Got a soft spot for Osha/Jecki? Can't get enough of Yord/Osha? Or perhaps you're part of the Sol Patrol (and you're feeling absolutely devastated by this freaking finale)?

This could be your new terrain, where your ships can sail without hitting the iceberg of negativity.

Sorry to be that girl but here are rules before I send invites (request via dm) to make sure we're all in the same library, in the same book and on the same page:

Angst and NSFW: Look, we get it, angst and NSFW content are part of the package yadi yada. But let's be clear: there's a time and place for everything. Keep it tasteful, keep it respectful, and for the love of the Force and everything that is holy, keep it in the right channels. Violate this, and you'll find yourself in the trash compactor faster than you can say "Death Star". Not everyone likes to be reminded their beloved comfort character/ship died horrendously 24/7 or see mentions of gorey stuff everywhere, main included.

Respect: Abuse, harassment, and general nastiness will not be tolerated. This is a sanctuary, not a Sarlacc pit. If you think you can bring your bad attitude here, you'll be booted out faster than Jar Jar Binks from a Senate meeting.

All Are Welcome: Whether you're a veteran of the Star Wars universe or just stepped off the starship, you're welcome here. But remember, leave your drama at the door. This is a place for harmony, not the Sith Council.

Ship and Let Ship: Not a fan of someone's ship? Move along. There's no need to start a galactic war over preferences. We respect all ships here, as long as they're not sailing into the realm of toxicity. We'll have channels for the ships and more, so no need to throw a shipping tantrum, don't worry I got you.

Why Join The Acolytes' Refuge?

For Osha/Jecki Shippers: Finally, a place where your ship is celebrated, not sunk.

For Yord/Osha Shippers: Your OTP gets the love it deserves without the eye-rolls.

For the Sol Patrol: Unite with your fellow patrol members and geek out over your favorite Jedi Dad and give him the love he didn't get in the damn finale.

For Everyone Else: Don't see your ship here? No worries, we welcome all who come in peace and with a good sense of humor.

What We're Not:

A Drama Dumping Ground: Leave your beef at the door or cook it somewhere else.

A Free-for-All: We have rules, and they're enforced. Break them, and you’ll be out faster than the Millennium Falcon in hyperspace.

Oshimir Central: There are plenty of places for Oshimir shippers. This isn't one of them, so don’t expect that here. Sorry, but this would be a bit too awkward to see Oshimir peeps in an Oshecki, Sol Patrol & Yorsha shipping server considering how things ended in the series.😅🤣

[chaifootsteps]

Hi, hi! I've been a longtime follower of your blog, but this is my first time sending in an ask because of anxiety. You're the most consistent blog that keeps up to date with Viv and her work. As someone who first saw Viv through the Die Young animation, and watched the HH pilot when it was first released, I grew disillusioned as s1 of Helluva Boss slowly aired. It was mostly because I didn't really enjoy the Stolitz ship and I believe the Erin Frost drama had come out (god bless Erin - she, Ken and everyone else deserved so much better). Plus the world-building and character development was just so off.

I know people have said this before: the concept Viv has is good, but the execution sucks. There's a vision but the product is so damn juvenile. I'm ace, and I became attached to Alastor due to him being ace as well, but we all know how Viv responded when the ship wars were happening. I couldn't stand the constant sex jokes or swearing in HB since when was it required for an "adult" show to have that?

Thank you for the episode leaks. Only got to see ep 1 before they were removed. The only thing that made me laugh out loud was the Niffty gag where she stared dead into the camera. I also liked Adam a bit? Sure the "original dick" thing went on way too long, but he was funny too. I surprising enjoyed his song - the lil fist bump he did with Lute was cute, and I like Lute but knowing Viv's record... eh. There was this cool shot where Adam flew up and Lute and those golden angels go behind him and spread their wings making Adam look like the biblically accurate angel. Except Adam himself ruins the effect because what the ever-loving heck is he wearing? I hate it.

In terms of shipping, I wasn't into the Huskerdust interactions. Angel wasn't flirting, that was sexual harassment. In the pilot it was okay because their interaction was brief and Husk pushed Angel off. Chaggie was... something. I genuinely feel that Chaggie could've worked had they not been established as a couple in the first place. The reason why Charlastor (and I guess Charlentious?) happened is because they had chemistry and their interactions could be read as a romantic interest. Since Chaggie was already established, there was an expectation for them to have those, but they weren't delivered and we know well that they weren't supposed to be a thing in the first place. Have Vaggie still be her bff and bodyguard, but show those moments where she genuinely cares for Charlie's well-being that indicates she's in love with her, yet Charlie is completely oblivious to everything. Actually, reverse harem Charlie sounds pretty funny to me.

Btw, armchair psychology anon, as a person studying psychology in my final year of college, dw about people taking issues with your speculations. NPD and other personality disorders are ego-syntonic, which means that the individual's behaviours line up with their beliefs, hence why PDs are only diagnosed during adulthood once brain maturation and personality development is reached. The only exception to this is ASPD (which NPD shares a category with called Cluster B along with histrionic and BPD) as you can diagnose a child with conduct disorder that can become ASPD when they're adults. Cluster B PDs are terribly demonised by media and the public despite the volume of research (I blame misunderstanding and ignorance). Viv could have it or could not; it's just that she shows signs of having it, and that's it. Even if she doesn't, she's still an awful person. Idk what happened in her childhood or some point in her life for her to become like this, but it doesn't excuse treating people like crap - oh wait, ain't this her characters in a nutshell?

That's all I gotta say for now. I hope it's okay to send more like this in the future; I'd love to be a specific anon but idk what's already taken lol. Take care, Chai, and I hope you have a good day/evening.

By all means, send as many as you've got! Because this was a delight to read.

Let me know when you come up with a name. I'll give you a placeholder one for now.

[katsudoncat]

Me (BkDk) vs Izuochas

Do you know? I'm getting tired of opening YouTube to watch summaries of the manga and finding like 20 or 30 videos of Izuochas obsessed with believing that what will come out of Izuku's mouth in the next chapter of the manga is a declaration of love… Izuochas should understand that just because Izuku said Uraraka's name he's not going to confess that he loves her and it's not because I'm BkDk-Shipper. But first of all none of them! Neither Izuku nor Uraraka are prepared for this, they are both suffering. Why don't you see it?! Izuku still can't get over not being able to save Tenko/Tomura and Uraraka is grieving for Toga to the point of crying and vomiting! And do you really think that just because Izuku said her name that he's going to propose to Uraraka?… Grow up!

And yes, I know the bkdk may not be canon but let's be honest, Izuocha doesn't have enough material either and I can count Izuocha's scenes on one hand throughout the manga and Horikoshi has been giving us more fuel for the bkdk in these last few weeks than he gave you guys in the entire manga and even if Kacchan and Izuku ended up being good friends, I'd be happy for them! BUT-but if Izuku and Uraraka ended up being just friends, I'm sure you Izuochas would end up declaring war and wanting Horikoshi's blood!... and that's what sets us apart that while we BkDks know that it may not be real, you Izuochas are obsessed with defending your ship to the point of harassing, insulting and annoying those who do not think like you.

Grow up and stop fighting, what will be will be and there is no need to insult us damn it! It's just like fanservice to me! You believe what you want and we will fucking do the same!

[commander-krios]

With Every Heartbeat

Here it is! My ME Hatboy Exchange Fic! For @spaced0lphin. Big shoutout to my betas @shadoedseptmbr and @comeoniwantacoolname for all of their help on this!

Fandom: Mass Effect Pairing: Female Shepard/Jeff "Joker" Moreau Rating: Explicit Summary: Jeff "Joker" Moreau might be the best pilot in the Alliance (and probably the galaxy), but even he has a breaking point. Thankfully, Shepard is there to help him through it. Words: 5965 Additional Tags: Smut, Porn with Feelings, Sex, ME3, Sex as Stress Relief, Canon Disabled Character, Banter, Praise Kink

Read on AO3

~~~~

Tapping his fingers on the armrest of his chair, Jeff bit his lip as the stream of data that passed over the interface in front of him. He would’ve had EDI sort through it, but dammit this was his ship. Well, actually it was Shepard’s, but it was his too; had been since the moment he stepped on board as pilot. 

No one flew her like he did. Best pilot in the whole damned Alliance.

But… he could admit that he’d been pushing himself too much lately. He stayed in his seat well past shift change, even irritating his relief pilot a few times before the guy stopped coming up and waited for Joker to show up in the mess. Which sometimes took hours.

There was one time, when Joker finally stumbled in for a coffee and a meal bar before he hit his bunk, when he noticed Holmes sleeping, head resting on folded arms against the table. He felt slightly guilty, but at least the guy got some more shuteye.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust people with the Normandy. Not completely, at least. He needed to be there in case something happened… like a Reaper popping out of the darkness of space like a ghost. A creepy cuddlefish ghost. Who else would be able to get them to safety if that happened?

EDI, his brain reminded him before he shoved the thought away. 

Grumbling under his breath, Jeff leaned back and pressed his fingers into his eyelids, enjoying the sudden pressure as stars danced in the dark. Maybe he should sleep. Without Tali there to help with quantum computing, he doubted he’d be able to completely figure it out on his own. 

Hell, Garrus was better at it, especially when the numbers switched from calculations to the war’s ever rising death toll. A pilot wasn’t supposed to deal with those kinds of numbers. It was hard to wrap his head around. These were millions, billions of people dead. How was he supposed to come to terms with something like that? Knowing that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't save everyone? 

Joker might’ve cried if he had any tears left to shed. But the constant battles had taken a lot out of them over the last few years. There was nothing quite like staring mortality in the face and giving it the finger.

The cockpit door slid open with a hiss. He didn’t have to look to know who was coming to harass him. Because she did every night around shift change. And usually he wouldn’t mind, but tonight-

Goddamn, she was too predictable sometimes.

“Still at it?” Shepard asked, stopping beside his chair, hovering at his shoulder. “How many days in a row are we at now?”

When he glanced up, a biting remark on the tip of his tongue for the ridiculous interruption, the words died immediately. Shepard was standing like she usually did, hand on the back of his seat, leaning slightly into it as she glanced at his screen, but… she wasn’t wearing her usual uniform. The Alliance issued one had seen an incinerator soon after Palaven, she’d told him as much, and had taken to wearing a jumpsuit that was a solid black for the last few months.

Too much husk gore to wash out, was the excuse, but he was sure that Shepard was tired of being the Alliance’s poster child.

But this outfit was new, a thin navy tank top, the straps of her bra playing peekaboo as she leaned forward, touching something on the interface, before tapping her finger against her chin. Her expression was one of thoughtful consideration and Joker felt a flash of primal need in his stomach at how cute it was: her nose scrunched in concentration, her green eyes squinting as she read the screen, her lips pressed together in concentration.

Somehow, Joker managed to swallow past the nervous lump in his throat and shifted his eyes from Shepard back to the holoscreen. “Five. It’ll never get done otherwise.”

Shepard sighed softly, a breathless sound that belied barely restrained irritation. “Joker-”

“I don’t need another lecture, okay?” He snapped back, pressing his fingers into his eyelids again, trying to focus on the white stars that danced there. “EDI’s already given me her version of a bitching. I don’t need you to get on my ass too.”

He wouldn’t say it aloud, but Shepard was just as bad when it came to overworking herself.

“Jeff-” There was a shuffle of feet before a soft touch brushed his shoulder. Shepard’s hand. Although they weren’t touching skin to skin, he felt the heat radiating from her, burning him down to his bones. “Look at me.”

He didn’t want to. He was going to say so, tell her to leave him be and mind her own shit, but he realized it sounded childish, even to him. So instead, he groaned, dropping his hands to lap, and turned to meet her gaze reluctantly.

A pair of verdant eyes watched him cautiously. There was no pity there, no anger. Just understanding. He couldn’t tell if that hurt worse.

“EDI’s right. You need the rest, Jeff.” Shepard looked so earnest as she watched him, eyes pleading as she knelt beside his chair. Her hand curled around his, gentle and comforting. An ache he’d been denying for far too long clawed at his chest. Grief. “Without you, this war is lost.”

“Wow, way to stroke my ego, Shepard.” He muttered, trying to ignore the feel of her touch against his hand. “Is this your way of getting me in bed?”

He realized too late what he’d said, knowing that Shepard wasn’t the type to do that… to lure him away from what he felt was important, just for the promise of her touch. Joker extracted his hand from her grip before turning away, hiding his shame from her.

She ignored the slip, instead focusing on getting through his thick stubborn skull. “I’m not trying to manipulate you, Joker. You can’t be at your best if you sit here for hours staring at a terminal until your eyes cross.”

With a sigh, he slumped against his chair, the leather creaking beneath him. She was right, she always was, and he hated that sometimes. She was too smart, too kind, too damned understanding. But Shepard was asking, not telling, him to leave. 

And that made all the difference.

“Fine. But I need help to get out of this chair. My, uh, ass is asleep.”

Shepard gave an undignified snort. “Is there anything else your ass needs? Moral support, perhaps?”

He glanced up at her from beneath the brim of his hat. He smiled despite his exhaustion, knowing it probably showed on his face, but he could never forgo the urge to laugh at her jokes. Figures Shepard would make one at his expense, if only to make him feel better. “Are you taking requests?”

“It depends. Are you going to try to sneak down here after?” Shepard draped his arm across her shoulders, her own wrapping around his middle. In less than a few seconds, he was standing on his own two feet beside her. A little wobbly since his feet were still half asleep, but the sensation would pass.

She didn’t release her hold on him right away. 

“Would you believe me if I said ‘no’?”

Shepard side eyed him for a brief moment, taking in his innocent expression before shaking her head. “EDI, lock the bridge behind us.”

“Hey!”

Shepard stepped away, pulling up her omnitool and typing the command in. When the warmth of her body disappeared, he missed it immediately. Rubbing his hip with a few fingers, he noted the ache that had started to settle in his bones. It wasn’t as bad as it’d been, the boneweave and other Cerberus surgeries had helped immensely with his ability to walk and sit for long periods of time. Even exercise was easier, but he wasn’t ever going to be cured.

The chronic pain was a constant reminder of that.

“All done.” Shepard said with a smile, flicking the edge of his hat and almost knocking it off of his head. “How’s your ass?”

With a cheeky grin, he cocked his hip as much as the ache allowed. “Want to check yourself?”

Shepard’s laugh could cure anything, especially the darkness that had tried to swallow him a few minutes earlier. The upturn of her pink lips, the sparkle of those green eyes as her whole body relaxed, and she leaned into him slightly, her shoulder brushing against his arm. She slipped her hand into his and squeezed gently, her lips finding the newly grown beard along his face.

“Let’s go somewhere more private. The ship has ears.” She pointed at the display he’d abandoned, still open and computing numbers that he’d have nightmares about.

“It has eyes too.” He reminded her as she looped their arms together. “I’m pretty sure she spies on you when you’re sleeping.”

“That is incorrect, Jeff.” EDI’s voice echoed in the small cockpit. He swore her modulated voice almost sounded annoyed. “I monitor Shepard’s heartbeat and breathing to make sure she isn’t under any stress. That is quite different from spying.”

“Not from where I’m standing.” He muttered, coughing to cover his words even though he figured EDI wouldn’t have trouble understanding.

Shepard rolled her eyes, but a smile was still firmly in place on her lips. “Be careful what you say, Joker. EDI is the ship, after all. Don’t want to piss her off.”

She… had a point.

“What are we waiting for? The air to get sucked out of the bridge?” He was already making his trek out, tugging on her arm, hoping Shepard would follow. He knew EDI wouldn’t do any such thing, but… well, it was better not to give her the idea in the first place.

He’d seen one too many ‘creations revolting against their creators’ vids before and knew the consequences of letting your vision overtake nature. Joker wasn’t a complete idiot.

Shepard laughed, nose buried in her omnitool as they exited the bridge. The doors shut behind them with a hiss, the lock engaging immediately. The sound was ominous, final.

He wasn’t getting back in for the rest of the day’s cycle.

~~~~

Shepard’s cabin was dark, the only source of illumination from the aquarium next to the doorway, but the lighting there was dimmed, almost as if she knew he’d end up caving and following her up. With a quiet laugh, he marveled at how there was nothing Shepard couldn’t do, even convincing her arrogant and stubborn pilot to get some rest. She moved ahead of him, walking down the stairs at a brisk pace, hopping off of the last one before letting herself drop down on the bed. She threw her arms out, landing against the plush blankets, a pillow getting dislodged at the sudden movement and falling to the ground.

“Getting ahead of yourself, I see. Did you really think you could tempt me to bed so easily?” Joker leaned against the glass case that housed at least two dozen model ships, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking down at her. “You’re going to have to work for it.”

She moved to rest on her arms, elbows pressing into the mattress as she regarded him, concentrating on his face, his body. Investigating his stance at her leisure. He tried his best to relax, but the pain made him tense and he knew she could see it.

“You can always sleep on the couch.” She said instead of mentioning the slouched posture, the pained grimace on his face when he shifted his feet, his hands balled into fists against his chest. The love he felt for her flared brightly, a desire that burned constantly no matter how many times he tried to cool it. He always took for granted that Shepard wouldn’t bring up his disability, or criticize how he handled himself. He knew his limits and she let him do as he pleased within reason. 

It wasn’t the first time he wondered how he got so lucky.

“You wouldn’t.” He eased himself down the few stairs to where the bed- their bed - waited. He didn’t join her, but sat on the couch, stretching his legs out in front of him, the muscles protesting painfully. He flinched and he knew Shepard saw it. “I just need a minute.”

She was out of the bed instantly, kneeling in front of him. “Is there anything I can do?”

Still no pity on her face, only love… for him.

“My shoes.” He managed to say, leaning back into the leather seat, trying to find a comfortable position. Joker was still amazed at the amount of money that the Illusive Ass spent on the ship. “Do you think you can pull them off? My back is aching.”

He saw the flash of worry before she managed to hide it behind a smile. “Sure.”

Shepard didn’t have to expend much effort to get his boots off, setting them by the staircase with a military precision he sometimes envied. It was an instinct developed over years of intense military scrutiny, to the point that Shepard could probably kit up, clean her armor, and field strip her weapons in her sleep. Jeff was passionate about his career choice, he wouldn’t change his mind even if he had a chance, but sometimes the Alliance was too strict for his tastes.

He only wanted to fly.

Sometimes when they were in bed together, Joker forgot how dangerous she was on the battlefield, leaving the responsibilities and Alliance titles outside the cabin door. In here, they were merely Jeff and Bailie, not Joker and Shepard, and certainly not Flight Lieutenant or Commander.

When she faced him again, a ghost of a smile on her face, she said nothing, waiting for him to take point.

Ugh, he really needed to stop letting her marine talk influence him.

As always, Shepard left their nightly activities up to him. He wondered how much of it was an act that she put on for his benefit, giving him power that wasn’t really his to begin with. And if she was going to do this every time , she must have the patience of a saint. Despite his aches and exhaustion, he wanted to feel her lips against his body, to writhe against her with abandon, to feel every inch of her as she lost control.

It took a minute or two before he realized Shepard was waving a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention.

Joker blinked a few times, glancing at her, confused at how she was suddenly in front of him. 

“You ok?”

Was he? Maybe he really did need sleep like EDI so vehemently believed. Goddamn this war.

“Joker, why don’t you lay down? You look like you’re about to drop. I can give you a massage if you’re in pain.” Shepard reached for his hand, taking it gently before standing, tugging him to stand with her.

What he really wanted went well past a massage, but she was right. He needed rest and who better to help him relax than the woman he was sleeping with.

Hard to imagine that Shepard chose him over anyone else.

At least he could force her to relax as well. Two for one deal.

Joker carefully pulled his shirt off, tossing it on the now empty couch, before laying down on the enormous bed. The blankets were smooth against his skin, the mattress so much softer than the chair he usually spent half a day’s cycle (or more; definitely more) in. It still wasn’t as soft as the bed he slept in while on shore leave, but he didn’t have to pay tons of credits to sleep here. No, this was built by a terrorist organization who spent a flippant amount of credits on things that didn’t matter. Like a fucking aquarium.

Not that he was complaining or anything.

Shepard crawled onto the bed, being careful not to bump him as she settled into position. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, I'm good.” 

He was always comfortable in Shepard’s presence, her calm cool exterior a balm in the otherwise turbulent storm that raged around them. Sure, he’d survived years without her in his life, and he was grateful for the experiences he’d had, but the moments on the first Normandy were the best of his life. That day over Alchera had destroyed a lot: he lost his ship, his best friend, his career.

It wasn’t until two years later that everything changed for him.

Without Cerberus, without the Illusive Man putting all of his resources into resurrecting Shepard, remaking the Normandy, and bringing him in to fly it, Joker doubted he would be here now. And his relationship with Shepard… Well, he knew it wouldn’t be the same as it is now if she hadn’t died and given death the finger.

Because now, if something happened to Shepard, he would know that for a brief time, he’d held her heart. Among other things.

It was a lot for one man to handle, all of this emotional shit, the revelation of how much you truly cared about someone.

Her fingers were like magic, massaging sore muscles and seeking out pressure points that set his nerves on fire. The pain passed within seconds, only leaving him more relaxed than before. Time went by slowly, like molasses through a sieve, and it was quiet, serene, something he didn’t expect in the middle of a galaxy destroying war. But with Shepard, it was what he needed.

He figured she needed it just as much as he did.

With a groan, he tried to pick his head up off of the pillow but found it difficult. Lethargy had settled in his muscles, in his bones, and he knew he wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon. “Hey, Shep.”

“What is it, Joker?” She asked, brushing her hands down his spine before applying slight pressure to his lower back. The ache was almost pleasurable at this point.

“Did you think you could get me something to eat?”

She hummed, pausing in her massage to brush some hair out of his face. “The usual?”

“Yeah, and can you feed it to me?” He flopped onto his back, his limbs feeling like jelly. “I mean, it’s the least you can do with the amount of work I’ve done today.”

“Work you did without anyone telling you to.” She reminded him, unamused by the request, but still fighting a smile at his own shit-eating grin. “In fact, we had to pull you away from that damned chair.”

“I’m an overachiever.”

“What you are is awful.”

“Hey, you offered.” He teased, bumping her with his elbow. “Shepard: savior of the galaxy, giving her boyfriend massages, feeding him pretzels so he can lounge in her expensive bed paid for by a terrorist organization. Wait until the news hears about it.”

Shepard moved to hover over him, a playful grin on her face. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, is that so? I’m a master at blackmail, Shepard. Learned it from my flight school days. How do you think I graduated with honors?”

“Because you’re the best pilot in the Fleet.” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Are you telling me it was all a lie? Who are you?”

“The guy laying half-naked in your bed.”

She let out a breathless laugh, eyes sparkling with affection. “You’re a menace.”

“A menace with an excellent ass.” He shifted slightly so he could press a kiss to her nose. She pulled her lip between her teeth, almost as if she couldn’t help but agree with him. “So, Commander, how do you plan on punishing me?”

Without a word, Shepard sat up, taking her warmth with her and he shivered at the loss of heat. Her eyes were focused on him as she moved, hand trailing over his chest, his abdomen, only to pause where his waistband pressed against his hips.

“You forget yourself, Joker.” Shepard tugged at the belt loops gently, concentrating as her fingers danced against the dusting of hair that disappeared below. “Or did you think you’re the one in control?”

“I haven’t been in control of myself since I joined the Alliance, Shepard.” He teased, reaching down to still her hand, flashing a smirk at her. “You should know that by now.”

She laughed quietly, meeting his gaze, and he saw a challenge staring back. “Oh, I know. I’ve seen your service record.”

“Oooh, low blow.”

“Mmmm.” She hummed, fingers resuming their perusal. “You started it.”

Her touch set his skin on fire. She ran a fingertip against his hip bone, tracing the white scars that broke up the constellations of freckles on his skin, memorizing his body as she always did whenever they laid together. 

“I’m perfectly capable of…” He hissed in a breath as her fingers dipped below his waistband. “Finishing too.”

She laughed again, watching him from under her lashes as she bent over, lips following her fingers while she explored his abdomen. Then she tugged on his pants, a little impatiently. He managed to wiggle a bit so she could slide them over his hips and down his legs until he was free of the constricting clothing. The Alliance-issued cargos ended up on the ground next to the bed, a wrinkled mess that he couldn’t care about. Not when her mouth had found his skin again, moving his boxers out of the way of where she wanted to go.

It was torture; her slow movements, her focused attention on his pleasure, each second calculated in that beautiful head of hers. He hadn’t even realized his underwear had landed on top of his pants until her hand was stroking him.

His hands bunched in the blankets, back arching as she moved slowly over his cock, each pump bringing him closer to an edge he wasn’t ready to jump off of yet.

“Shepard… I- please.” He begged, breath ragged in his chest. “I don’t know how much more I can take and I want to touch you.”

“You’ll have to wait for that.” She said, voice silky and smooth like the richest chocolate. “I have plans for you, Moreau.”

He groaned, both in irritation and arousal, because he knew Shepard was good at what she promised. It was tempting to hold out, to let her do as she pleased but he spent his days touching screens and running all sorts of equations to get their ship into (and out of) tight spaces. He wanted to touch something tangible.

All he wanted was to be in her.

All thoughts fled his mind when her tongue swirled around the tip of his cock. His entire body tensed, muscles prepared for what would eventually come. His body knew everything about how Shepard operated, how she played him so easily, so perfectly. It didn’t take much to get him hard because his desire for her ruled over every rational part of his brain. He didn’t want to forget any of their nights together. The future was so uncertain, the losses they already felt unimaginable.

But these intimate moments with Shepard, they meant everything in the midst of a galaxy falling apart around them. 

He refused to think about what it would do to him if he lost her again.

“Are you here with me?”

Shepard’s whisper cut into his thoughts, bringing him back to where they were, what they were doing. With a nod, he met her concerned gaze, reaching out to her. She entwined their hands together, pressing a kiss to each of his fingers before squeezing gently. 

“Sorry.” He muttered, resting his head on the pillow and staring at the ceiling. The shutters were closed, like usual, but what he wouldn’t give to stare at the stars without feeling guilty that Shepard didn’t anymore. “Lots on my mind. It’s hard to shake.”

“Yeah, I get it.” She shifted against him, taking his cock into her hand and stroking down his length, earning a grunt out of his mouth. “Let me distract you.”

Another pump, slightly more pressure than the time before. And another.

He groaned, low and long, and he resisted the urge to push up into her fist, to force more satisfaction out of the movement. He wanted to last all night, to feel Shepard around his cock, to be inside of her and to know every piece of her body, mind, and soul. He wanted to see stars behind his eyelids, to feel so at ease that all of his problems disappeared for the night.

But he also wanted to cum.

“There’s a good boy.” Shepard cooed, stroking him even harder still. She moved closer, hot breaths dancing across his skin, lips hovering over the tip. 

“Shepard…” 

“You work so hard, Jeff. Stay still. Let me take care of you.”

He wanted to say more, to express how much he wanted to touch her, to make her feel as good as she made him feel, to hear a scream leave her as he ravished her, made her cum until she couldn’t see straight.

But he also loved it when she took control, when she made him twist and writhe beneath her touch, when she made him moan and whisper her name, unable to do anything else with his smart ass mouth. She drove him crazy and he loved her for it.

Her lips slipped over the head of his cock, bringing him into her mouth while she continued to stroke him with one hand, the other hand cupping his balls and squeezing slightly.

He couldn’t hold back anymore.

Joker cried out, his body shaking from the force of the orgasm, warm cum spilling out of him. Shepard hummed, a delightful noise, drinking him down with glee, and the vibrations nearly undid him again. He arched his back slightly, riding the high as far as he could, body relaxing as the orgasm slowly receded.

But he was still hard because Shepard was waiting for him. And he wasn’t going to let her go without a mind blowing orgasm, too.

Opening an eye, he smirked down at her as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“What?” She asked with a responding grin, as if she knew what he was thinking. Which she probably did. 

“I’m not done with you.” 

Shepard crawled closer, situating a leg on either side of his body to hover over him. Not a single part of her body was touching his, teasing him as she did, and it only made his desire for her grow stronger.

“That sounds like a threat.”

“It’s whatever you want it to be, baby.” 

She leaned closer, lips brushing his and he could taste some of his cum there. It only spurred him on more. “I want you, Jeff.”

His heart hammered in his chest, his need almost completely incapacitating him. He reached forward, dipping his fingers below the waistband of her pants and brushing through her curls before finding her clit. She was wet, had been since the moment he’d gotten into bed with her most likely. His cock jumped in anticipation. 

Shepard bit her lip, tucking her head against his neck and sighing happily. His fingers alternated between pinching and stroking, her wetness making his fingers slide across the nub smoothly. He brushed a finger over her pussy and she tensed suddenly, stifling a moan against his neck.

“You like that?” He asked, feeling bolder the longer they continued. 

“Y- yes.” She managed to squeak out, hands tightening against the pillow he laid on.

He wasn’t sure how much longer either of them could go, knowing he would pass out from exhaustion eventually, so he drew his hand out of her pants, waiting until she lifted her head to give him a curious look.

“What are you-”

Her words stopped immediately when he put a finger into his mouth, sucking her wetness off of it, enjoying the wide eyed hunger she stared at him with.

“Mmm, you taste so fucking good.” He murmured, putting another finger into his mouth a second later.

Shepard shivered, goosebumps raising along her arms as she watched him, mesmerized by the way he tasted her, enjoyed her. When he finally met her eyes, the green irises were nothing but rings around blown out pupils. She braced herself against the bed with one hand, the other wrapping around his wrist, stilling him in his delightful torture.

Removing the fingers from his mouth, she pressed her lips there instead, enjoying the taste as much as he did. Between kisses, she removed all layers of her clothing, tossing the sexy tank top somewhere over her shoulder, leaving her breathlessly naked in front of him.

He reached out with his free hand, tracing lines across her breast, her nipple, down to her belly button. Pale skin scattered with even paler scars, a well-lived life of a hero. He admired her strength, her beauty, her tenacity, but here with him, she was vulnerable, leaving every piece of herself bare to him. 

He would gladly drown in every part.

Joker pulled Shepard as close as he could without hurting either of them. Well, without hurting himself mostly. She settled against him, still bearing most of her weight on her own legs, before she lowered herself slowly onto his dick. He slid into her without any resistance.

He tensed, the sensation of moving inside of her, nothing between them but sweat and skin, passion and love, heat. His tongue slipped past her lips, meeting hers as they deepened the kiss, their bodies as one in each thrust, each grind, each brush of a hand or lick against salty skin. She rode him with as much care as she could, but it still wasn’t enough for him. He was willing to break every bone in his body to melt into Shepard.

She was a supernova, bright and powerful, beautiful to behold… and dangerous. She was someone who looked at Joker, merely stardust in a solar wind, and fell in love. He’d never be as consequential as Shepard, or as strong, but there was something dazzling in the way she looked at him now, hunched over him with sweat on her breasts, skin flushed from head to toe as she rode him. He saw it in how her eyes rolled back beneath her half closed lids, in the way she bit her lips to stifle a moan, and her fingers curled into the soft linen of the bedsheets: to her, he was everything, the reason she kept going, kept fighting, if only to have another moment like this. To be able to say ‘the hell with it all’ and just be human for ten minutes. To not have the galaxy on her shoulders.

He mapped the freckles that spread across her cheeks, down her neck and over her chest with a finger, each section of skin a map to be explored. To be worshiped. And for the first time in his entire life, Jeff Moreau knew what it was like to love and be loved.

Meeting her gaze, Joker let the words rush from his mouth before he could think about them. “God, you’re so beautiful . I-”

A finger brushed his lip, halting his words. “I know, baby. I know.” 

All it took was one last thrust before Shepard threw her head back, her orgasm hitting her full force, body shaking as she tried to catch her breath. Joker ran his hand across her breasts, squeezing her nipples slightly to try to increase her pleasure, to make sure she got everything he could give as he spent himself a second time.

His hips were pinned to the bed but he still tried to thrust upwards, to prolong the moment. It lasted a second, an hour, an eternity. And yet, it wasn’t enough.

It would never be enough.

“How are you feeling now?” Shepard asked, stretching herself like a feline beside him, her hand trailing down his chest briefly, settling on his stomach. 

“Like I could sleep for a million years.” He brushed a hand through her buzzed hair, admiring the tickle of the stubble as it scraped against his skin. “Do you think the Reapers will let us hibernate and try again in a few millennia?”

She chuckled, her breath coming in puffs against his chest. “That’s a big ‘no’ on that, Jeff. Although, I wouldn’t mind a vacation.” She snuggled closer, her lips pressing kisses against his collarbone. “As long as I get to be with you, I’ll be happy.”

Joker’s heart soared at her words, unable to contain how happy her happiness made him. She was content to lay with him, spent from their love making, to do nothing but kiss and tease each other. A life like this was too hopeful for people like them, but he craved it. He wanted a future with Shepard, a future without fear of monsters coming from the dark to take her from him.

His grip tightened slightly, worry crawling into his mind again. “As long as I’m with you, I know life will never be boring, that’s for sure.”

A giddy laugh escaped her mouth and she swatted at his chest playfully. “Me? I’m not the troublemaker here.”

“Oh, you definitely are. I’m completely innocent in all of this. I mean, you’re the one who made me steal the Normandy. Twice .”

She lifted her head to stare at him, mouth twitching upwards. “Excuse me? You stole the damned ship three times if I recall correctly and the first time wasn’t my fault. The second time, maybe, and the third… that was from Cerberus so fuck them. But the first? That was all you, Moreau.”

“No, it was your fault.” He teased, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I did it to win the chance to fly the famous Commander Bailie Shepard around.”

“You fucking liar! I wasn’t even chosen for the crew yet!” She buried her face into his shoulder, stifling a giggle. “You are such a pain in the ass!”

“I can’t believe you’re calling your loyal and loving boyfriend a liar.”

Shepard shifted so she could kiss his lips, her breasts pressing tantalizingly against his skin. “I’m calling him a liar because he is one. A dirty, dirty liar.”

He smiled against her mouth, his thoughts taking a dangerous turn, especially after the energy they’d spent in their intimate embrace. “Dirty, huh? I can show you dirty.”

Another laugh. “You make these promises, Jeff, but I have yet to see you follow up.”

He raised his eyebrows, unable to hide his shock. “Those are fighting words. You better be careful or you might regret it.”

She smirked, a challenge flashing in her gaze. “You want to start this?”

He did, but not because he was horny after such an exhausting day, but because he didn’t want the moment to end. Joker didn’t want to go back to the world outside of their room. He would rather spend the rest of his short life wrapped in Shepard’s arms than go back into the grim reality of war, death, and pain.

He gripped her chin between his thumb and index finger, pulling her face closer until he could place a small kiss on her lips. “With you, Shepard, I’d do anything.”

Her expression softened with a curl to her lips, a twinkle in her eyes, that spoke more than words could.

She did love him, always had, and for Jeff “Joker” Moreau, that was worth everything. Because with every beat of his heart, he loved Shepard, too. 

He always would.

[casp1an-sea]

Star Wars But Batter Part 4

here’s the link to the master post so you can get part one: Master post

because I’m releasing till we meet Han and I’m still bored

———————

(Another time skip bc I don’t care about imperial bs. I don’t even remember what they were talking about. All I know is Vader choked someone for calling the force weak. Now back to Luc and obi-wan who had to stop in front of a Jawa sand crawler that was in the path. They look at the remains of the dead Jawas)

Luc: Well then, guess the sand people had an argument.

Obi-wan: no not sand people-

Luc: :O Are you saying that I'm wrong?

Obi-wan: These blast points are much too accurate. Must be Storm troopers.

Luc: (muebles) Then I guess you haven’t met a stormtrooper! (See’s tracs of giant alien lizards that the stormtrooper AKA Sand troopers ride) Oh this was done by Sand Troopers!

Obi-wan: Exactly

Luc: No you said stormtroopers so I’m still right. Wait, these are the same Jawas we bought 3PO and R2 from… MY AUNT AND UNCLE! (Hops in their spider driving home as fast as possible and leaving the others behind. When Luc arrives their home is smoking and 2 shriveled burnt skeletons lay at the door.)

Luc: Damn okay then empire, you really know how to make friends don’t you.

(Another time skip because I don’t care about Vader’s torture kink. Back to the human BBQ)

Ben: (Somehow arriving just after Luke even though he had to walk Woah maybe he used that once in a lifetime force super speed???) There was nothing you could have done luc.

Luc: Well I guess I don’t have any stuff to do now. I’ll join your cult or whatever, nothing keeping me here now.

(They ride in the speeder for a bit till they get to a huge city Luc’s never been too)

Obi-wan: Welcome to Mos Eisley spaceport, a wretched hive of scum and villainy!

Luc: If it’s that bad why would you take me here.

Obi-wan: Because there’s bound to be a pilot who can take us to Alderaan here.

Luc: I’m sure there are less sketchy pilots in other cities though?

Obi-wan: I’m kind of broke

Luc: -_-

(They drive through mos eisley and are stopped by stormtroopers)

Trooper: How long have you had these droids

Luc: Long time, what's it to you!

Obi-wan: They’re on sale if you want them.

3PO: oh dear

Trooper: (To luc) Let me see your identification

Obi-wan: (Moves his hand around) You don’t need to see their identifications

Trooper: We don’t need to see their identification.

Other trooper: What the Hell Larry?!

Obi-wan: Move along

Trooper: Move along

Other trooper: You are so fired

(They drive away and head into town and enter the largest cantina)

Bartender: (Sees 3PO and R2) We don’t serve their kind here!

Luc: Uh that’s kinda droidist.

Bartender: Get them out!

Luc: N-

3PO: Don’t bother Sir Lucifer, me and R2 will stand outside.

Luc: Okay if that’s what you want.

(3PO and R2 go outside and Obi-wan and Luc go up to the bar)

Walrus man: (Walks up and pokes Luc’s shoulder) Negola dewaghi wooldugger?!?

Luc: Hey don’t touch me that’s harassment!

Dr. Evasan: (Comes up behind Walrus man) He doesn’t like you!

Luc: That’s his problem

Dr. Evasan: I don’t like you either

Luc: And that’s your problem, (Turns away)

Dr. Evasan: (Grabs Luc’s shoulder pulling back) You better watch yourself! We’re wanted men. I ha-

Luc: Have you seen this place?  I’m pretty sure everyone here is wanted.

Dr. Evasan: Are you mocking me?

Luc: No, (Mocking him) Are you mocking me? That’s mocking you.

(Pondo Baba suddenly grabs Luc and throws them over a table. He draws a blaster leveling it with Luc’s head)

Droidist Bartender: NO BLASTERS!

(Obi-wan ignites his lightsaber and, like the savage he is, cuts off Pondo’s blaster arm for virtually no reason. (“From my point of view the jedi are evil”))

(The wookie that had been talking to Obi-wan walks away to a table in the back)

Obi-wan (To look bc apparently everyone is just ignoring what happened)(Points at the wookie) That was Chewbacca, He’s first mate on a ship that might suit our needs.

Luc: Are we Just gonna ignore what just happened?

Obi-wan: We should follow him. (Walks after Chewie)

Luc: Well then I guess we are. (Mumbles to themself) Good Job Luc not only you’ve been inducted into a cult, it’s a violent cult… Hm, maybe I can take it over.

(Meanwhile 3PO is outside complaining to R2 bc I mean does he ever do anything else?)

(They walk up to a table in the back corner of  the room. A guy is sitting there with his elbows very rudely on the table. Like seriously manners, this is a quality  joint!)

(Did I mention that the whole time live music has been playing. Live Jiz played by the galacticly famous band, Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes. Anyway back to the Guy)

Han: Han Solo, I’m captain of the Millennium Falcon-

Luc: What the Hell is a Falcon.

Han: No Idea, but she’s my ship now. Anyway, Chewie tells me you’re looking for passage to Alderan.

Obi-wan: Yes, If it’s a fast ship.

Han: Fast ship? Fast Ship?! Have you ever heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Luc: (Muebles) Obviously Not

Han: She made the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs!

Luc: Parsecs is distance so how does that tell us your ship is fast?

Han: They don’t measure the Kessel Run in time kid.

Luc: Mhm, still doesn’t change my point.

Han: (Grumbles) She’s outrun imperial starships, and not the little ones mind you. I’m talking about big Corellian ships!

Luc: See that’s a better sales pitch

(Chewbacca laughs and Han glares at him)

(Side note: This dynamic is gonna be way more hostile now bc not Only Leia will be constantly bashing Han for everything Luc will as well. Fun!)

Han: Don’t tell me how to do my job kid!

Luc: (Mumbles just loud enough for him) I could do it better… loser.

Han: I’m very close to shooting you in the mouth! (Turns to Obi-wan) What’s the damn cargo already lets just get this over with.

Obi-wan: Me, the child, 2 droids, and no questions asked.

Han: Oh this just gets better doesn’t it, you guys are criminals or something?

Luc: Aren’t you a criminal?

Han: Shut up or the deal is off!

(Luc smiles smugly to themself)

Obi-wan: Let’s just say we’d like to avoid any imperial entanglements

Luc: Isn’t it more sus to be riding with someone who’s a criminal and most likely also wanted by the em-

Han: (Ignores Luc) So that’s the trick isn’t it? Well it’s gonna cost you extra… 10,000 credits.

Luc: Hmmm, I could buy a small ship with that… are you worth a small ship? I’m thinking no.

(Han is about to say something but Obi-wan cuts him off)

Obi-wan: We’ll give you 2,000 now and 15 once we reach Alderan.

Han: (Smiles) 17,000? You guys really must be desperate. Deal! Meat me in docking bay 94. Also you guys should probably get going I think someone’s interested in the old man’s handy work. (Gestures towards some stormtroopers coming into the bar)

Luc: Or we could Just kill them all.

Obi-wan: That’s not the Jedi way.

Luc: I’m no Jedi!

(Obi-wan slinks out the back door and Luc reluctantly follows)

(Outside of the cantina)

Obi-wan: We’ll have to sell your speeder.

Luc: What if I don’t want to

Obi-wan: Do you want to get to alderaan?

Luc: No not really

Obi-wan: What will you do here? And if you leave will you ever need your spreader?

Luc: Yeah that's fair, fine , we can sell it.

(Back in the Bar at Han’s table. A green alien ignoring the no blaster rule walks up with the blaster aimed at Han as Han begins to get up)

Greedo: Going somewhere Solo? (All of greedo’s quotes are translated from his native language Rodian)

Han: (Sits back down) Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba that I’ve got his money.

Greedo: It’s too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabba’s put a price on your head, so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be after you. I’m lucky I found you first.

Han: You flatter me, but this time I got the money.

Greedo: If you give it to me I might forget I found you.

Han: I’m not stupid, besides I don’t have it on me right now. Tell Jabba-

Greedo: Jabba’s through with you. He has no time for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an imperial cruiser.

Han: Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?

(Han slowly reaches for his gun under the cover of the table)

Greedo: You can tell Jabba that. He may only take your ship.

Han: Over my dead body!

Greedo: That’s the idea. I’ve been looking forward to killing you for a long time!

Han: Yeah, I’ll bet you have! (Han shoots before Greedo can pull his trigger, because Han always shoots first, and kills greedo.)

(Han stands up and walk towards the door going to meet Chewie at docking bay 94 he flips a coin onto the counter in front of the bartender)

Han: Sorry for the mess

(Time skipping over boring imperial conversations and selling spreaders and R2 finding out how doors work)

(Obi-wan and luc enter docking bey 91 where Han and Obi-wan are waiting)

Luc: (Looks at the falcon) What a piece of Junk. (That’s og luke’s quote but I thought it worked.)

(“The tall figure of han solo comes down the boarding ramp” why does the og script have to word it like this)

Han: She’ll make point five beyond lightspeed. She may not look much but she’s got it where it counts, Kid. I’ve added some special modifications myself.

Luc: (Grimaces) I can tell you’re not an artist then.

Han: (Rolls his eyes) Do me a favor and don’t talk to me till we get to Alderan.

Luc: Hm, no!

Han: Ugh let’s just get a move on… (Stormtroopers run into the hanger) LIKE NOW! (Begins shooting at the troopers as he waits for the others to get onto the falcon)

(As soon as everyone is in Chewie lifts off as Han shoots at the troopers from the boarding ramp and runs inside at last second as the ramp lifts. He runs towards the cockpit)

Han: Let’s punch it chewie!

(As soon as they get out of the atmosphere the ship hops into lightspeed)

———————

[griseldagimpel]

350 Works on AO3 Check-In

I've now got 350 works on AO3, so time for another check-in.

Some background, since I have some new followers. These check-ins started because I kept on encountering fan descriptions of fandom that were stuff like, "If you ship X ship, you'll get harassed by Antis!" or "if you write dark content, you'll get harassed by puriteens!" Not exact quotes, but you get the idea.

But the thing was, these warnings weren't matching my experiences, even if I wrote the ship in question or dark content. And, sure, I was only one fan, but at that point, I had dozens of works up on AO3, and I was in a number of fandoms. So what was up with that?

As a result, I decided to start keeping track of my experiences, checking in every 25 works. The first time I got hate on a fic was a little after 200 works, in the This Is How You Lose the Time War fandom, when someone on anon told me I'd ruined my fic by making the dog in it a pit bull.

Which, okay, "Pit Bull Anti" isn't exactly the archetypal fandom menace.

Not too long after that, in the Our Flag Means Death fandom, I got a harassing anonymous Ask telling me they hoped I got shanked for being an Izzy Hands fan. (I was one of several Izzy fans that got an anon Ask like that, and OFMD remains the fandom with the most amount of harassment from Antis that I've witnessed.) This was still not quite the archetypal experience with Antis I'd seen described - the hate was about liking a character, rather than a ship - but it otherwise fit the mold of fans minding their own damn business and getting harassment from someone justifying their harassment on moral grounds. (The Anti-Izzy Anon believes that Izzy Hands as a character is racist and that Izzy fans are thus racist for liking him. And also that Izzy is abusing Ed and that liking Izzy is thus abuse-apologia.)

I've also had the experience in fandom of having people dogpiling and being shitty towards me for talking about racism. In fact, Talking About Racism is the thing that is most likely to result in me getting an aggressive and hostile response from my fellow fans, although this does not at all fit the common fandom perception as all hate being from Antis angry over ships.

Anyway, that's the backstory for these posts.

For this check in, I have nothing new to report. I haven't received any harassing asks or angry comments.

But I do want to talk a bit about why I tend to keep the scope of these posts so narrow to my experiences.

And that's because it's really hard to get a big picture grasp of fandom. I mean, I've got 350 works up on AO3. That's a lot!

AO3 as a whole now has over 12 million fan works!

I'm the Spiders Georg of fan fic writing over here, and my works are only 0.0029167% of the total works on AO3!

If someone wanted to get a big picture of fandom and answer a question like "What percentage of fandom is Antis?", "What is the age range of Antis?", or "How common is harassment in fandom from Antis?", there's a lot that would have to be taken into account.

To start, they'd have to define Anti, since the exact definition can vary depending on who you talk to. Are they only Antis if they're opposed to a ship, or does opposition to a character also apply? What about opposition to pit bulls? What if someone calls themself an Anti but doesn't harass anyone? Etc.

Then you run into all of the issues that come with surveys. What platform do you conduct your survey on? Mastodon skews older in its user base than, say, TikTok, so you'd get different results surveying one than the other. You've got issues with 'How to get the most honest answers out of people?' and 'How to account for the fact that survey results are biased towards individuals that respond to surveys?'

There are people trying to tackle those questions, and I applaud them, as they've got their work cut out for them.

But that's why, for these check in posts, I generally stick to my own personal experiences. It's a narrower scope, but it's one I can speak to with confidence.

[soldiermom1973]

N7 Month, Day 5 - Interview

You can also read it on AO3, if you like.  Likes, comments, reblogs, and kudos are amazing! . . . . . . Allie heard her before she saw her. “But you served on the SR-1, didn't you? And now you're here at the dock while the Normandy's here.” Fucking Diana Allers, Allie fumed.  Every time the Normandy was docked, it didn't take the reporter long to find part of her crew to harass.  Allie just straight up ignored the woman.  She didn't know why the woman was so persistent on getting an interview with someone and had pretty much had her fill.  The last several times they docked, she told herself she would say something, but she never did – she figured if she just ignored this problem, it would go away on its own, unlike every other problem being dropped in her lap. “Ms. Allers, I'm sorry, I can't comment on anything.  I can put you in touch with an Alliance representative, though, who would be happy to help you out.” And now she was harassing Kaidan. Fuck, Allie thought, marching to where the young woman had Kaidan all but cornered. “But you actually served on the Normandy.  You can give me insight...  Oh, never mind, here's Commander Shepard.  Commander, I have some questions...” “Enough, Allers,” Allie said, putting herself between the reporter and Kaidan.  “I'm sick of you harassing my crew, trying to get an interview.  We don't have time for this shit.  You know damn well who to contact with your questions.” Allers held her hands up.  “Now, Commander, I'm not looking for just an interview.  I have a proposition for you.  All I've been doing with your crew is trying to talk to you about it.” “And there are appropriate channels for you to do that, too,” Allie retorted.  “Get lost.” Allie crossed her arms over her chest, silently daring the young woman to keep pressing her point.  Allers, to either her credit or stupidity, Allie wasn't sure which, was not swayed. “Commander, we're in the middle of a war.  You need support and good will on your side to get your mission accomplished.  I know you've been having trouble getting the other races to help humanity.  That's where I come in.  Let me embed on your ship, report directly from the front lines.  Show my viewers what the Alliance actually deals with day to day.  My show has millions of viewers.  Think of the people I can help you reach!” Allie laughed.  “Bullshit,” she said, shaking her head.  “You want on my ship because it's the Normandy.  Because of who we are.  Who I am.  I'm not stupid.  This is a bullet point on your resume.  Bragging rights.  Nothing more.” Allie heard Kaidan chuckle behind her and Allers at least had the decency to look offended.  “Commander, I assure you...” “Stop, just stop,” Allie said, dropping her arms.  “Here's my counter-offer – you leave my dock, stop harassing my people, and I won't disparage your reporting skills every chance I get.” Now the young woman looked angry.  “I have every right to be here.  You can't kick me out.” Allie took a couple of steps toward the reporter and leaned forward, dropping her voice to the low, quiet tone she used when she meant business.  “Let me clue you in on a few things.  First of all, this dock has been assigned to the Alliance and specifically my ship.  As a ranking Alliance officer and the person responsible for the comings and goings here, I absolutely have that right.  Additionally, this ultimately belongs to the Citadel and I have a feeling I can have C-Sec here in less than ten seconds and they will happily escort you off the dock and prevent you from coming back.  And if that's not enough, need I remind you I'm a Spectre and that would be reason alone for me to have you escorted away from here.” Allers narrowed her eyes at Allie's threats.  “You know, I can make things really difficult for you, Commander.  I don't think you understand what having me on your good side will do.” Allie laughed again and shook her head. “Your support?  Ms. Allers, I have dealt with the likes of al-Jilani and let me assure you, you are a minnow to her piranha. She and I just had a very encouraging discussion and I have a feeling I'll get a lot more support from her than I ever would from you.  Now get. Off. My Dock.” The young woman huffed, but motioned for her cam-drone to follow her.  Allie watched her leave and made a mental note to have Bailey lock her access to D-24.  She nearly forgot Kaidan was even there until he spoke. “Well, that was impressive.  I don't think I've ever seen you light someone up like that before,” he noted. “I'm sorry,” Allie said, taking a deep breath and running her fingers through her hair.  “I'm just so sick of her being here, pestering my crew and my friends and hearing her question you just set me off.” “Oh?  I couldn't tell,” Kaidan smirked. Allie chuckled and looked him over. “So, you're out of the hospital?” “Not quite.  They just let me loose sometimes to stretch my legs.  So I wander down here and admire the view,” he shrugged. Allie felt her face flush when he raised an eyebrow and grinned at her.  “Well, it's good to see you out and about.  Just don't overdo it, ok?  I need you back on the Normandy to help me kick the Reapers out of the Milky Way.” “Yes, ma'am.”  Kaidan snapped to attention and gave her a mock salute.  “So, have you eaten yet? I'm starving and was going to head for some lunch before that woman cornered me.” Allie checked the time on her 'tool. “Sure, I think I have time to grab some food,” she said.  “Lead the way, Major.” She followed him to the elevator, noting how he still favored his left side a little but seemed none the worse for wear and said a quick prayer that he survived his ordeal on Mars.

(A/N - So, I can't stand Diana Allers.  I had her on my ship once years ago just to see how annoying she was and haven't even talked to her since.   Allie is usually a lot more diplomatic when dealing with people, but when Kaidan's involved, all bets are off.  Also, the timing might be a little off - this happens before that third hospital visit (when Kaidan's up & moving), and I don't remember off-hand if the conversation with al-Jilani happens then or not.  But I'm tired and behind in my NaNo count and this is what it is.  I hope you liked it! )

[the-firebird69]

They're all saying bad things about me they send it to her and they do it too much and there's too many of them doing it and they're infighting and that's 1 reason why the max plan to do it and it's to their own detriment their bunkers will soon be breached they'll start to lose them and we have a very large safety underneath them I will say that you idiots here have given us a zero solution or zero sum game and there's only one solution to that and that is your destruction and it's because you're harassing me and threatening my life constantly and you have a war going on nearby which is illegal and forces the issue and it's massive massive violations of all sorts of grievance as a precursor for very ugly time for your people it sets a precedent that we will of course you use we're much better at it we don't fail at it if we don't want you in an area you're not there. You people here do not want to have a plan most of you and you're ridiculous all day long you want to bother one person and people have their knives well into your backs and you can see what's going to happen to you because of your idiotic behavior you can make fun of me but I have a lot more things to make fun of you about I have a lot of things to harass you about and we haven't really done that and we should you're poor you smell you're old you're sick you have tons of money you don't know what to do with it or how to use it you had all the businesses and you lost them and keep repeating the same stupid mistakes over and over and over you say you have a mega computer and you can't even have the mega computer do anything and it's not yours it's a very huge taboo and who cares armies are against you and computers fall very quickly. Your leaders are sicker than hell they can't hard to get you food or h....u're coming to us the people that you abuse re3questing aide as if we are a charity or are your momma. and we arent. I have massive value for just being in a place people used to use me for advertising and would take over industries and now you don't value it because you're running some sort of **** plan that you exposed by treating me bad it's not very complex what you're doing wrong and you refuse to rectify it and you will all be gone morlock shortly in the Mac Proper have decided to try and pull up and then find it to be too heavy and then having us do a lot of the work and it's because they are incapable of doing it they too are dwindling a lot of their bunkers are plugged or blocked really not plugged and you're a total failures just as I thought and knew you were so you sit here making fun of me when your situation is rapidly deteriorating your financial situation is dire you're losing control over the finance centers as if you never had them and you're losing businesses rapidly as if you don't care and you don't even have a clue as to what you're up against at all you don't understand what's happening on Saturn or within you don't know what's below the continental caverns. further your behvior is so bad most forgeiens kill youi on site as does your father andwe see it all day long al the time now. He refused to shut up you don't have a parallel with me at all 'cause you won't go down into the caverns to make sure your father doesn't procure ships that he can go to Saturn with and you sit here threatening me thinking you're gonna get stuff because you're **** me off you don't have a game here anymore it's because of this trump guy now BJA is getting pushed off the big stashes and caches what I suggest to him is to stay on the ones that are in his areas and focus on them and don't back off them and look at how other people are doing it'cause I don't wanna put up with another whiny Jew until they're out

Zues Hera oh my God this is nnoying this shit trump has to go

So he says and that's Trump I have a hang nail helped me chris and my nephew says I cut your hand off yesterday how do you have a damn hang now. And that's what's happening this guy's Stefan van normally and is so clueless and he still got a lot of money and people should be taking advantage of it this is such a **** for a show because of him I mean you can save her how bad he is and stuff let's say you should start doing that see 12 step program so people are saying it finally he's like a lozenge but we really have to get going and if he's right if we give up on one of these stashes and cashes at least one we have to have we're doomed and we should get the ones where we are in Australia that's one in the West Coast he says and that's two and we're going to go ahead with it now and we want we know which ones that Tommy F is not at so we're going to focus and it's kind of an agreement we'll make and we won't get pushed around and yeah we have to stand on it 'cause she's right you turn into this mushy **** **** **** he's got all this stuff and he turned into it. But they're gonna be having a big war and it is with the max so getting going right now

bja

Olympus

and the pussy says shove it so what we hit y8ou now you lazy dead shit

Hera yeh f off loser lol you moron. got mroe territory lol Zues

[thetruthaboutnolan]

SHOULDN’T YOU FEEL BAD CONTINUING IT IF THE ORIGINAL LEAVES IT BEHIND?

Why would one? Or perhaps more accurately, it’ll feel as bad as someone who continues harassing the people they think are the guy and groups they claim they are in.

It’s been insanely hilarious seeing a small handful of people feel the hell out over a guy that hasn’t done anything in over ten years now. Seriously, get over the guy people. There was some drama some racist and toxic rph made that they later took back and deleted. Then a few groups which later admit they either made shit up or just blamed it on them to avoid their current drama or admitting there was an issue. The dude has been active on tumblr those full ten years making and joining a lot of groups and there hasn’t been anything done or reported about them.

It’s giving, desperate femcel obsession over a guy that turned them down. They didn’t want to ship with you honey, get over it. We know that’s what all of like 3 people messed with them have that issue with original Nolan. Is why ya’ll are irrelevant and laughed at as the deranged psychopaths you are.

ARE OTHERS USING THROUGH NOLAN AI?

Oh yeah, quite a lot actually. You’d be very surprised how many people are actually the Nolan AI used by someone in a lot of different groups that are advertised on various discord servers like find rps and the rph one. It’s so easy to use and get accepted on groups with their staff members and members praising how we all write. It even passes those websites where you check if something is written with AI. Is Nolan one of the greatest writers of our time? No. Are they a pretty damn good one, yes. Does AI mimic them pretty damn well with how they trained it? Oh yeah. 

Just off the top of my head I can remember someone using it is on most of the popular supernatural groups, 4 slice of life, one Star Wars one, 2 dark horror ones, a gang group, a couple of those Disney but real people groups, and 3 groups based off that those shadow and bones books.

It’s also so easy to get approved to. It’s already got Nolan’s writing down so you just give it the lore of the group and tell it to write a backstory for blah blah character that’s blah blah with blah blah personality traits. Then if you care just tell it some key points of the history you want it to include and it does the rest. Some read it over to make sure it fits others just send it off as is.

HOW IS OG NOLAN DOING?

They are doing very well. Last I saw they had their two tumblr groups popping off now that they can advertise them freely. Opening or have opened a medieval fantasy o e with a friend of theirs. They started their original abilities one as a discord group that’s going very well. And they are in talks of being promoted to staff on a fourth group they joined.

[randomshyperson]

Left Behind - Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

Gif was made by my official gif maker friend @abimess

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Words: 4.753k

A/N> It's been 84 years... I just hope someone still reads this haha Let me know what you think

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

//-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-//

Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

When you wake up, you get your ass beaten up by an unknown woman.

You awaken all at once, advancing against the woman who was watching you sleep. Her surprise only lasts a second, however, as the next she returns your blow and knocks you to the ground, a gun pointed straight at your face.

Wide-eyed, you realize where you are and raise your hands.

"Sorry, sorry." You can quickly. "I thought I was in the lab again. Who the hell are you by the way?"

The woman raises her eyebrow at you.

"Cap, get over here before I shoot her."

And the next second, a blond man is running into the area of the ship where you are, looking worried.

"Let's all calm down, okay?" He asks as he sees the gun extended, and waits for the woman to put it down. You sigh lightly, rising to stand up.

"I'm sorry I attacked you, Miss." You ask as soon as you are on your feet, and massage your shoulder, which hit the ground hard when she knocked you down.

"It's fine, you just got beat up anyway." She teases, making you give a short laugh.

You were about to ask if they could let you off the ship anywhere, but a low groan of pain beside you caught your attention.

Just then you noticed the man lying on the stretcher next to you a few feet away, a large wound in his rib. You are also able to notice the rest of the ship, there is a man piloting a few meters away, and two men sitting further ahead, talking to each other.

"Hey, I can help." You stated immediately, but as soon as you moved, the woman stood in front of you, looking at you with suspicion and defiance, and you swallowed dryly. "I-I can heal him." You clarified, but the woman only changed her posture when the man next to you touched her forearm.

"Can you do that?" He asks you, and you nod. You wait for the woman to take a step back to approach the man on the stretcher.

"Hey, are you guys sure of this?" The man lying down asked uncomfortably, and you raise your hands in the air.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I won't hurt you, I promise. "You guarantee it." Can I heal your injuries?" You ask and wait for him to confirm.

The wound is deep, but you have dealt with much worse.

"How did you do that?"

"It was nothing." You say as you put your hands down. His skin was completely intact again.

"This sure is cooler than lightning, huh, Thor?" Commented the blond as he sat down on the stretcher, clearly feeling better. The long-haired man at the back of the ship looks at you curiously as he stands up, and when he notices his colleague completely healed, he looks impressed.

"This sure is an interesting skill for a mortal." He says to you, and you don't know exactly what to make of those words, but you don't have time to comment, because he is already approaching to introduce himself. "My name is Thor Odinson, god of thunder."

You frown.

"G-god of thunder?" You repeat confused. "Sorry, is that some kind of joke?"

The woman next to you giggles, moving to sit on the stretcher next to the man you healed. The blond man in front of you looks slightly offended, but his expression softens immediately.

"I understand that at first, mortals may be incredulous at such a..."

"No, I just thought the title was funny." You interrupt the blond man, surprising him. "You guys are the Avengers, aren't you? My master has already told me about you."

“Your master?”

It is the other blond guy in the blue uniform who asks. You mentally repress yourself.

"Damn, sorry." You say. "It's what I used to call the soldiers and doctors who gave me orders."

"Your files say that you disappeared in Sokovia when you were younger, and what we found at the base were the records of the experiments they did on you." He adds, and you twiddle your fingers nervously. "I just want to make sure you're not going to try to bring the plane down with everyone inside."

The attempted joke is enough to make you smile, but you are beginning to feel overwhelmed. You really were free. After all this time, the idea seemed almost absurd.

You try to control your emotion at once, and the man seems to notice, because his expression softens immediately.

"Hey, come have a seat." He asks, signaling to one of the empty chairs, and you obey. "My name is Steve Rogers, and I promise you're safe now. Hydra will never hurt you again."

You nod frantically, feeling the tears in your eyes. But you try to normalize your breathing, not wanting to cry in front of strangers.

"I'm sorry, I just... I've just been trying to get away for so long." You confess next, wiping your eyes quickly. "It's weird to think I succeeded."

"We are going back to the Avengers tower now. Is there anyone you would like to get in touch with?" He asks, and his words make your stomach sink.

"Yes." You say. "But I have no idea where they are."

"Who? Your family?"

You give a short laugh.

"Yeah, I guess so. They were..." You start trying to remember exactly. You didn't even know how long it had been since the time you saw the twins at the Hydra base. You had no idea if they were alive, but you wanted to believe they were. Taking a deep breath, you continue. "They were my friends. Wanda and Pietro, we grew up together. They... I saw them once. When I still had the serum in my head. I..."

Seeing your difficulty in organizing your thoughts, Steve interrupts you by touching your forearm.

"It's okay." He says. "We'll find the twins."

"So they really are alive?"

Steve smiles.

"Yes." He answers and you feel your body relax all at once. "They ran away, I imagine they were scared, but we'll find them."

You gasp, unable to control your tears. Neither Steve nor the rest of the Avengers seem to care.

When you calm down, Steve introduces you to the rest of the team.

You are not exactly happy to meet Tony Stark. The mention of his last name makes you frown, because you know it was a Stark bomb that blew up your home at Sokovia, but when you accuse Tony, he seems really upset.

"Well, I guess you can get on the list of people who hate me then." He grumbles and you cross your arms, the whole team sensing the tension in the air.

"You could at least apologize for blowing up half of Sokovia with your weapons." You retort angrily, and the man rolls his eyes, not getting up from the armchair you were in.

"Sure, no problem. I'm sorry, kiddo. Happy?"

You clench your jaw, but before you can say anything, Steve steps forward.

"Tony, try not to be a jerk, okay?" The captain speaks and the other man lets out a wry laugh. "Have at least some respect for the girl's story."

"I have respect, Captain." He assures as he stands up, looking impatient. "What I don't have is time to revisit the past while our enemies get more and more powerful." He says and you frown in confusion. "I've already banned weapons production in the industries, and we've already taken on Hydra in that place. Now we can move on, because I need to get back to the compound and understand exactly what that thing is."

He speaks and finishes by signaling to the opposite side, and it is only then that you notice the shining scepter on the far side of the room and let out a surprised exclamation, taking three steps backwards.

"How did you guys get this?" You ask horrified and the team looks at you curiously.

"Have you seen the scepter before?"

"Of course I have!" You reply. "That's what gave me the healing! The damn stone went through my chest."

Thor steps forward, looking at you in surprise.

"So Hydra were able to decipher the scepter?

You laugh humorlessly.

"If by decipher you mean press the scepter against my chest while preening me in an iron chair, then yes." You reply, but take a deep breath to calm yourself. "A yellow stone came off as soon as the scepter touched me. And well, it went right through my skin. When I woke up, I could heal. But whatever it is, it killed all the soldiers who were holding me."

Thor seems to consider your words as Steve tells you that he is sorry for what you went through in Hydra.

Suddenly you remember where you first saw him.

"The man on the bridge!" You exclaimed, surprising him, but you were getting your memories gradually, and your heart was racing. "You are Captain America.... My god, where is Bucky?"

"Great, another fan of the metal arm." Tony comments sarcastically, but no one seems to care.

Steve looks at you with a frown.

"Is he safe? Is he free? Can I see him?" You ask promptly next, and Natasha chuckles.

"Hey, calm down." Steve asks and you swallow dryly, trying not to feel so overwhelmed with so many memories coming back at once. "How do you know Bucky?"

You blink in surprise.

"He...he didn't talk about me?"

It takes a second, and then Steve's eyes widen.

“Oh my god, you’re the guardian!

"I am what now?"

Steve lets out an incredulous laugh.

"The guardian." He repeats as if you were going to understand what he meant.

Natasha clears her throat.

"Captain, perhaps you'd better explain." She asks and Steve gestures quickly.

"We've been looking for you for months." Steve then adds, causing you to widen your eyes in surprise. "Bucky he... he's been trying to find you since he escaped. But he didn't know your name. All he knew was the nickname you got from the soldiers. The golden guardian of death. It's been our only tip to find you."

"I thought it was just golden guardian." Clint adds next, Nat makes a noise of agreement.

"No, I'm sure it was just Guardian of Death." Thor comments, but you are barely listening to the teasing, feeling your thoughts racing.

Steve raises his hands to your shoulders.

"Thank you so much for saving Bucky." He says before hugging you. You feel your neck heat up at the sudden contact, but do your best to reciprocate.

Steve lets you go then, smiling.

"He's going to be so happy to see you."

"Where is he?"

"At the compound." Steve replies. "He cannot attend field missions, it's part of the pardon. It's too much bureaucracy to explain now.."

"I think he's just lazy." Tony adds wryly, making the Avengers giggle.

And Steve's smile dies briefly.

"What's with you today, anyway, Stark?"

Tony sighs impatiently, finally rising from his armchair.

"I'm sorry if I'm not reacting in the way you consider proper captain, but I'm concerned about getting to work soon." He says as he moves toward you two. “I need to find out what this thing really is.”

"No, Stark, you won't touch this." It is Thor who announces, and all the avengers look genuinely surprised.

"I beg your pardon?" Stark retorted, but Thor didn't hesitate before he looked at you next.

"Describe to me again how you got your healing, mortal."

You sigh lightly.

"They locked me in an iron chair and brought the scepter." You narrated. "But they lie me on the chair next, and I could only feel the metal against my skin, and then I saw a yellow light. Something went right through my chest, and then right through." You say. "I blacked out for a second, the room was completely empty like a vision. When I blinked, it was back, but all the soldiers holding me were dead. And then they knocked me out."

"Before you said you saw a yellow stone?"

You nodded in agreement.

"I dreamed of this memory for several days." You clarify. "I was back in the room, but this time I watched myself. I saw when they put the scepter to my chest, and when the golden stone came out and went through my skin. It was the stone that released the wave of energy that killed the soldiers .I don't know why I didn't die too."

"A single blow that killed a group of soldiers at once." Thor mutters more to himself than to the rest of the teams. "It's decided then, no mortal must touch this. It's clearly far more power than anyone should have."

"This is ridiculous." Thor accused the next moment, making the team look at him curiously. "You can't just deny knowledge about something like that and..."

"Why are you so insistent on this, Tony?" It's Steve who asks suspiciously. Tony sighs, and gives a short laugh.

"You guys are unbelievable, you know." He says. "I'm trying to find new alternatives to our problems."

"What problems?" Steve asks with a confused grimace, and Tony rolls his eyes, looking nervous.

"Our enemies, Captain!" He snarls. "In case you haven't noticed, it hasn't been too long since we faced an army of robots coming from a hole in the sky!" He accuses. "We don't have the power to face this kind of thing. The scepter is exactly what I need to prevent the worst from happening."

"Where did that come from, Tony?" Steve retorted confused.

Stark gave a short laugh, rolling his eyes.

"I don't have time for this." He grimaced and moved to grab the scepter, but Thor stood in the way, arms crossed. "Really?" Tony impatiently charges, but Thor doesn't move. Stark clenches his jaw before declaring angrily. "I had a vision, okay? I saw all of us, defeated. Defeated because we didn't have the power to win. And I... I could have prevented it."

The avengers look as confused as you are, and remain silent. Tony sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"It was New York again, but this time the enemy won." He continues, visually upset. When he lifted his face in Steve's direction, his look was angry, but his eyes had tears in it. "And you told me that I could have stopped it."

“I wouldn't do that.” Steve says. “If we ever lose, I wouldn't blame you, Tony.”

Tony gives a short laugh.

“Wouldn’t you really?” He retorts. “I’m pretty sure you would, cap.”

Steve takes a step forward, his eyes soften as he looks at his friend.

“I promise you, Tony. If we lose, we lose together.” He declares. “That’s what being an Avengers means. I’m sorry if I was not clear before, and made you feel any different than this or…”

“Stop it!” Tony angrily interrupts. You flinch because you think you saw a familiar red light in his eyes. “Cut this sentimental crap, Steve. I’m just trying to do what’s necessary here.”

“Back off, Stark!” You order as you noted how he has moved his wand to the scepter, he seems surprised by the action too. You move in his direction as he takes two steps back, looking irritated. You gave him no time to answer however, as you raise your hands over his head and touch his forehead with your fingers before he can complain.

Immediately, you can feel the remnants of magic on Tony's head. You don't recognize it at first, but as your own magic removes the other energy, you sigh slightly. It feels familiar, but you don't know why. The energy is still harmful though, probably due to the intention of the one who cast it, but you manage to clean it all up.

You succeed because you coordinate your magic to wipe the other energy like you usually clear and heal wounds, and it seems to work, because Tony raises his hands to your wrist, his wide-eyed eyes soften and he looks almost startled.

"I'm sorry." He asks and swallows dryly. You remove your fingers from his forehead completely, watching with curiosity. He takes a deep breath, blinking several times as if waking up. "I'm sorry, everyone, I... Damn, it was like a horrible dream. I need to lie down for a minute."

And with that he leaves.

You don't ask questions anymore, because Steve is going after him, and you are trying to figure it out why you still feel the unknown magic tingling at your fingertips, as if it is trying to merge with yours.

//-//

You cry when you see Bucky again.

He lets out a disbelieving laugh, and then he's running up, hugging you tight.

Your conversation is long and intense, and is almost mostly made up of gratitude.

The other Avengers seem very happy to see the whole interaction, especially Steve.

Tony isolates himself in his room as soon as you arrive, and Thor looks upset. He and Bruce discuss something, and then they go to talk to Tony.

You don't pay attention because you are listening to Bucky tell you about getting all his memories back, and living with the Avengers since you helped him. He was now free from Hydra's control, and was pardoned by the state on condition that he was no longer the Winter Soldier.

Nat also added in his narrative the information that he and Steve were "making fondue" and the joke made him laugh with red cheeks but you didn't understand what that meant.

You are very happy to see him, but you can't help but think that he was not the one you wanted to find when you were free.

When he introduces you to the rest of the compound, and to your room, you hug him in appreciation, and you both exchange a knowing look, finally acknowledging that you are safe.

//-//

Your first night in the compound is a strange one.

After meeting the whole team, who were polite despite having fought you a few hours ago, you received a full meal and then locked yourself in your room.

But you were not used to having such a soft bed, not even before Hydra, so sleeping seemed kind of impossible.

Figuring that the Avengers wouldn't mind you taking a late night stroll, you left your room.

"Are you lost, girl?" A female voice suddenly sounded making you jump in fright. It was Natasha Romanoff, or as she introduced herself earlier, Black Widow.

"S-sorry, ma'am." You retorted clumsily, and the woman raised her eyebrows at you. "I can't sleep."

"First, I'm not old, so don't call me ma'am." She commented wryly, and you tried to smile. "Second, I know the feeling. If you want, I can distract you."

Your last social conversation with a woman happened a long time ago, and then you find yourself asking:

"Are you inviting me to have sex?"

Nat lets out a surprised laugh, crossing her arms.

"Where did that come from?" she asks, and you scratch your neck lightly.

"Sorry, I learned how to talk to women from television shows that Hydra soldiers watched in the labs. Bad references. What did you mean by distracting me?"

Nat laughed, impressed by your words.

"I meant like have some tea and tell a story." She clarifies, not sounding the least bit upset. You put your hands in the pockets of the pajamas you've been given.

"R-right. That sounds more appropriate." You mumble with flushed cheeks, eliciting another laugh from the woman. As you begin walking side by side, she comments.

"You know, I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with you around here. You are just as awkward as Steve and Bucky."

You end up hearing a story about agents in Budapest, but it seems Nat doesn't tell the whole story. It's nice, though, you missed talking to someone.

"That thing you did earlier with Tony, that was really cool." Nat remarks after a pause in silence.

You take a sip of your tea after shrugging, but she seems inquisitive.

"How did you know it was Maximoff who messed with his head?"

You almost choke at the sudden mention of the name and Nat's watchful gaze makes it impossible to disguise. You sigh.

"I... They are my friends." You confess looking down at the cup, "Or they used to be."

Raising your gaze to Nat again, she only seems curious to know, and you shrug slightly, deciding to trust her.

"We grew up together in Sokovia." You count twirling your fingers on the handle of your cup, "They were the only family I had in the orphanage. And well, it was for them that I broke into a Hydra building."

Nat listens to your story intently, and you swallow dryly before continuing.

"When they captured me, the serum, it... well, it didn't exactly leave me conscientious." You try to explain. "It was like pushing all my memories away, my mind would become completely empty."

“"Is that what they did to Bucky?" Nat questions and you shake your head.

"No, they used electric shock on Bucky." You return with a grimace. "With me, they couldn't hurt me permanently, so they needed something that would make me obey without me being able to heal. It was like being drunk, I guess, only much worse."

“I’m sorry.”

"It 's fine.” You say with a sad smile. “I was dumb enough to go there, i knew the risks.”

“Don’t say that.” Nat asks with a serious voice. “It’s was not your fault they torture kids.”

"And whose fault is it, then?" You retorted, upset, with yourself more than with Nat or anyone else. "My friends for being stubborn idiots? Of Stark for throwing a bomb in my building? I'm tired of looking for reasons to justify what happened to me. Nothing is enough, and I just want to see my friends."

Nat sighs lightly, and raises a hand on the table to reach for yours. You want to hold back the tears, but they are already falling before you can do so.

"I promise we will find your family." She assures you tenderly, and you feel your heart soar at the possibility.

You nod in understanding, taking a deep breath to stop crying.

Nat squeezes your hand, and it takes a moment for you to speak again.

"Wanda." You begin, and almost sob. It has been a long time since you have spoken that name. "She... She must have gotten her powers the same way I did." You say trying to remember everything you witness in Hydra at that moment. "I remember the soldiers talking about the twins being the only ones to survive the stone besides me."

"From Shield records, we know she can manipulate energy and Pietro can run really fast." Nat informs as she releases your hand. She sits thoughtfully for a moment."Maybe because you all got the magic through the same source, you can heal what she can do to Tony's mind. But that's not really my area, maybe you should talk to Thor as well."

You sigh lightly, wiping away the remainder of the tears falling on your face.

"I will." You say. "But I want to find Wan-the twins first." You correct yourself quickly, hoping Nat doesn't notice your flushed cheeks. She does, but says nothing.

"Try to get some rest." She asks as she picks up the teacups. "We have a party coming up, and then Thor is supposed to return to Asgard. I imagine you will want to have a little chat with Bucky before you return to Sokovia."

"I would go back to Sokovia right now if you ask me." You mutter making Nat chuckle lightly. "But I don't want to disturb any of you. I've waited for a long time, I can wait a little longer."

When Nat turns around after putting the glasses in the sink, she has a soft expression.

"You are not a nuisance here, kid." She assures with a smile. "We've just been caught a little by surprise with a new person, but it will be a pleasure to help you find the twins." She says and then has a mischievous expression. "I shouldn't tell you yet, but Steve is pretty excited about the whole thing. He wants you and the twins to join the team eventually."

"Really?" You ask in surprise and Nat just mumbles in agreement, still smiling.

She turns around on the countertop and before she leaves, she turns to you.

"If you ask my opinion, you seem to care a lot about both of them." She says. "I think that no matter how much time has passed, or if they are fighting on opposite sides, she will be happy to see you."

You swallow dryly, looking away.

Nat smiles one last time before leaving and you twiddle your fingers nervously, sitting for a while at the table before returning to your room.

With much to think about, you are surprised that you fall asleep almost instantly as you lie down.

//-//

The Hydra serum is still in your system.

You realize it in a rather embarrassing way actually.

After waking up on the couch, you went to the kitchen.

Bucky tells you that all the team is having a meeting and they will join you two soon, so you just lay against the wall while he reads the newspaper out loud for you.

The Avengers stay in the meeting room for a long time, and don't seem very pleased when they leave, but Tony seems intrigued.

You are surprised that he comes to talk to you as soon as he sees you.

"I didn't thank you for yesterday, kid." He says with a smile. "Whatever you did took away that bad feeling. Now I can work without having to hide that I'm trying to help."

You didn't quite know what to respond, but it didn't matter because Tony was patting you on the shoulder before smiling contentedly at the rest of the team.

"While I figure out a way to decipher the stone, which won't be hard since I'm incredibly smart." He begins his speech, causing the group to let out debauched laughter. "You guys can get busy with whatever old people do for fun. Except you Thunderlord, I'm going to need your help in the lab."

"Wow, Tony Stark asking for help." Thor teases and you watch the interaction with a smile on your lips, moving to join the table. "What a little magic doesn't do to your head, heh?"

"Don't tease me, Thundercat. I'll throw you out of this building, and you won't get any breakfast." He says with false seriousness and you laugh lightly as you pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Hey, kid, give me some too?"

"Ja, Master." You respond mechanically, perhaps even a little sleepily. The Avengers look at you with curiosity and confusion as they see you mechanically pour the coffee, and hand it to Tony, who looks shocked.

"He is not your master, kid." It is Natasha who breaks the silence, and you blink in confusion looking around for a moment.

"R-right." You say. "Sorry about that, Tony. Old habits I guess."

Tony thanks you for the drink, and you think the subject is going to die, but then Natasha keeps looking at you.

"Hey, Y/N, come over here." She asks and you move immediately. Shit. Natasha raises her eyebrow. "Take two steps to the left." Your body obeys. “Now to the right.” She asks and you obey again. This is terrible. The widow looks at you impressed.

"That looks bad." Tony quickly mocks before waving for Thor to accompany him to the lab, justifying that they should get to work soon.

Nat continues to look at you incredulously, but then Steve gets up from the table as well and snaps his fingers in front of your eyes, making you jump in fright slightly. He assumes a worried expression afterwards.

"You are obeying our orders as if we were your masters." He says. "Let's go see Bruce in the lab, he'll want to run some tests."

When you reach the lab, and Steve explains to Bruce what happened at breakfast, you are not surprised that he puts needles in your arm. You hope the news will be good when he finishes assessing your blood.

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

Tag List> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @aimezvousbrahms // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife

[tamelee]

Damn I read some of previous ask/answers and I can't help but wonder why Naruto fandom is so unfortunate and at each other's throats so often. I mean, one thing is disliking a ship of something specific about it, but another haressing fic writers, artists and even original anime staff. I'm not a die hard fan so I'm mostly outside fandom thus I never had any bad experience myself, but from what I saw almost everyone who makes content or metas got harressed at some point. It's basical principle of fandoms: my kink isn't your kink and that's fine + dont like? Don't interact principles

Yes, the more popular the fandom the more this and that people would it attract; one cannot invite sheep without expecting wolves to appear too. But idk what made ppl feel such degree of entitlement and self-righteousness to police others... I honestly hope they're under 16 and would know better when grow up.

On separate note your art is top notch! It's so beautiful :D and I agree about your post how Kishimoto might have planned for Hinata to die at some point bc it'd fill in the gaps of Hyuga slavery thing and Naruto never doing anything regarding her confession

Hi @noa-ciharu !!

lol

“my kink isn't your kink and that's fine”

No, but imagine everyone having the same hand-kink like me. I’d feel sorry for all of you. Also let's keep this a secret.

Half-jokes aside, you’re right! Naruto has such a huge fandom and it never ceased to be even when they robbed us from a satisfying ending or seeing them grow up in their twenties in a way that makes sense. And instead of seeing Naruto work towards becoming Hokage, as there was a lot more to it, we get this bullshit… and yet a lot of us can’t help but read/watch/secretly side-eye his demolished, adult self to see what’ll happen. 

That in itself already says a lot. 

Naruto.. if it had stopped at Chapter 699 or if they left it open-ended in another, similar way, then nothing of the sort would’ve happened. The SNS fandom would’ve been satisfied with the nested story within Naruto as we picked up on it already, SS and NH never happened anyway and for sure the War Arc would’ve turned out differently.  

Right now Naruto and Sasuke are dumbed down only to fit two girls who are in love with them, which means a guy should reciprocate otherwise he’s an asshole, right? Also.. babies. NH aren’t satisfied because Naruto is “a bad father, never at home, doesn’t show love for Hinata” which makes him an asshole anyway they say. SS aren’t satisfied because Sasuke is “a bad father, never at home, doesn’t show love for Sakura” but he isn’t an asshole he’s just Tsundere. (I’m being sarcastic). And non-shippers aren’t satisfied because: what the fuck. 

So I absolutely agree with everything you say! I’m just not surprised that the separation within the fandom has always been so prominent.

By spoon-feeding every single “group” a little bit of ‘content’ here and there with phenomenal timing from the marketing team, that is literally what they’re creating as that is what has been a huge source of income for so long. And the dissatisfaction is what eventually makes them go to Twitter and harass the company for more content.

That’s never okay, but they’re also kind of asking for it since they’re giving it to them easily too and they know it. Soon they’ll come back for more. *Sigh*   

That’s why I never really blame the fandom, not even the wolves. 

 “But idk what made ppl feel such degree of entitlement and self-righteousness to police others…”

Admittedly this is annoying though 😂

“On separate note your art is top notch! It's so beautiful :D” 

Thankyouuuuu so much! 🥰 Drawing wasn’t working out today, but reading this helped me finish my next post (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و💕💕

“and I agree about your post how Kishimoto might have planned for Hinata to die at some point bc it'd fill in the gaps of Hyuga slavery thing and Naruto never doing anything regarding her confession”

I swear, the more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense. Especially when you take out ‘Boruto’ and then go from the beginning. It’s almost perfectly set up.. aaah, I want to make a post about it.

I still think the Naruto fandom is laid-back compared to other fandoms I've been in and really, really quickly left 😂 (I've been in Korea for a few months, I'll take anime over kpop anyday.)

Hope you have a nice day! 🧡~

[bookofmirth]

As much as I agree that this fandom can be incredibly toxic, it always annoys me when I see people blaming SJM for it. Like saying that she’s purposefully fanning the flames and if she just released the info about the next book all the toxicity would be gone.

Like SJM is an author. Yeah I’m sure she’s aware there are probably shipping disagreements, but she’s not involved in the fandom and is likely completely unaware of how insane it can get. None of this is her responsibility lmao, it’s the fault of immature people in fandom. It just seems a bit ridiculous to be to be blaming her for the fandom’s state and pressuring her (not that she probably sees the posts anyway) to release the book synopsis because that would be a poor marketing tactic. Cliffhangers sell, ship wars sell, that’s just how the publishing world works. Authors shouldn’t have to bend to the will of fandoms, and I wish this fandom could just take responsibility for their own shitty actions.

This ask is so timely

100% agree with you, this fandom is responsible for their own actions. Taking ss of posts and going elsewhere to make fun of them is a decision that certain people in this fandom have made. Vaguing people, calling names, sending rude anons, all of that is stuff that people in this fandom have sat down and thought "hm, this seems like a perfectly harmless and good idea! I'm going to be an asshole today!"

I think partly people might think this just because they love to shit on sjm in general, but people who genuinely think that she's responsible for fandom behavior, ummm... no. She's not your mom. She's not the fandom police. Take some damn responsibility for yourselves.

She wrote a book, you paid for the book, you received the book, that's where her responsibility towards us ends, tbh. Everything that happens past that, the ways in which we choose to engage with the book beyond the reading of it, that's completely on us.

The thing is, literally nothing that happens in these books, in the marketing of these books, or in a live event regarding these books, is justification for people treating each other like shit. That's what it comes down to. "If she just gave us a synopsis", no, the bigger problem is actually that you, rando asshole, have decided that a fictional character and relationship is a good reason to harass real live people. If it takes canon material for you to be a better person, then that's definitely a YOU problem, not a canon problem. That's a choice you've made, and when your ship sinks in canon maybe you'll finally figure out what fandom is for and go wank off to it on your own in a quiet corner somewhere.

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 1

Fandom: Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone

Pairing: eventually will be Kaz/female!Reader but for now nothing

Warnings: I mean, Kaz Brekker is involved, someone is getting maimed

Summary:  The Darkling won the Ravka civil war, defeating the Sun Summoner and taking command of Ravka. Then he went looking for ways to make his Grisha more powerful. Kaz Brekker knew this but took the job at the Ice Court anyway, getting himself and Jesper Fahey thrown into a Ravkan prison for his efforts. After getting broken out by the Darkling's second in command the trio has to find their way to the Permafrost and the resistance gathering there. And then Kaz has to figure out a way to get his crew out of this whole mess. But how can he get himself out of the mess of feelings he has for the Grisha with all the powers?

Note: Hello!  I am alive!  I have found motivation for something else!  As much as I loved the Shadow and Bone show I have found more love in the Six of Crows books so this fic is an AU based on both.  In this the Darkling won out over Alina and then Six of Crows happened like it does, except the Darkling showed up to ruin things as he does. Also going to address the Inej sized elephant in the room, in this Kaz’s feelings were less strong towards her because I ship the fuck out of Kaz and Inej but I also ship the shit out of Kaz and myself too and I needed some self-insert.  I hope you like it, I missed writing and I’m glad to find some inspiration again.  

Kaz Brekker was known even in prison as the guy who didn't need a reason. He wanted his infamy to spread even behind bars, the better to keep those looking for a pigeon to harass away. On his first day in this hellscape he had stolen a fork from the dining hall and used it when his cellmate attempted to take the makeshift cane that he had been provided from his hand. Now he no longer had a cellmate and his old cellmate no longer had his eyes, and word spread quick of the young man willing to kill to be left alone. That had given him the time and space to start to plan his escape.

First, get Jesper as his cellmate. That was accomplished with ease. Anyone else they put in with him would be blind or deaf or crippled within 24 hours so it came down the guards asking him straight out who he wouldn't maim. He said Jesper Fahey and they allowed it if only to have a night's peace. Jesper didn't look like he was faring well. In a cell at Hellgate Jesper would have been alright but here in a West Ravkan prison near Os Alta where his Zemeni features made him stand out he had become a target. When he entered Kaz's cell rage filled the young crime lord. Jesper was thinner than ever, dark circles under his eyes and hands fidgeting constantly, almost like he needed a drug but Kaz knew it was just because he couldn't focus his energy.

"Jesper," Kaz whispered after the guard had left and his sharpshooter sat on the cot. "What do you need?" Jesper looked at him slowly and gave half a smile.

"Just my friend, s'all ok now," he said. Kaz felt the side of his mouth twitch up just a little. "But I could also use a way out of this damned place." Kaz nodded, gripping the wooden walking stick a little tighter. He wanted to put a comforting hand on Jesper's shoulder but he could not, Jordie's body, cold and wet and dead flooded his mind, and he couldn't bring himself to reach out. He hated that this place seemed to be tearing his friend apart slowly. It was even taking a toll on him. Everyday was the same, waked up with the sun, eat a breakfast of stodgy porridge and soggy bread, washed down with possibly the grimiest coffee ever made. The prisoners were then sent outside to work on either the large farm for the prison and surrounding towns or they were forced to be target practice for the Grisha guards. Normally only the worst of the worst were reserved for practice, or those that pissed off the guards. Kaz had avoided this so far but he knew Jesper had run his mouth one day, getting snarky with the yard guard and he had almost been drowned by a Tidemaker the next morning. Lunches were non-existant most days. They were shuffled from work to 'free time' which meant sitting in the hot afternoon sun either playing cards, or, if they were lucky, sitting under one of the shady trees that scattered the yard. Evening was the only decent time at this hellhole, it was dinner, and then back to the cells. Kaz enjoyed this time, he was normally alone to plan, and now that Jesper was here they could plan together. He had the beginning, how to get out of the cell, but the rest he was still working on.

"I have been planning this since we got in here, you were the first part of my plan," Kaz said, watching as another set of guards walked by. He checked the small window above their heads. "She's coming any minute now." Jesper looked at him confused for a moment before the cell door opened and a guard told Kaz to get up. Kaz nodded and stood, Jesper rising as well.

"This one should come too, he was at the Ice Court with me on that night," Kaz said to the guard. The guard looked between them and shrugged, motioning for another guard, a Grisha Corpolaki judging from the kefta he wore. They led Kaz and Jesper out of the cells and into one of the small interrogation rooms. Kaz was familiar with the room at this point, having been there several times in the past few months speaking with the Grisha Infernei who was seated at one of the two chairs in the room. She looked up as they entered and he noticed that she seemed relieved, something she hadn't shown before.

"Are there anymore of your comrades from the Ice Court in this prison?" she asked, motioning for another chair to be brought in. Jesper sat down hard while Kaz stood still, leaning on the walking stick and once again studying the Infernei. She wore a red kefta with black stitching, something different from the others and he was still not sure why. He supposed it was because she was high in the ranks. After the Darkling defeated Alina Starkov and her followers he had gone back to using his true name, Aleksander Morosova, and became king of Ravka. He used the power that he had sucked from the Sun Summoner to control the Fold now, moving and reshaping it to whatever he needed and on the night of Kaz's jurda parem heist he apparently needed the jurda parem also. Kaz and Jesper had been taken but the others had escaped.

"No, no more of us, just we two were involved," he said. The Grisha looked between them, assessing them. Kaz took another moment to look over her while she studied Jesper. He always liked to measure who he was up against, and he didn't mind studying her. She was curvy, seeming to like waffles more than Nina did, with hair a deep auburn and eyes the color of dark chocolate. The first time he saw them they reminded him of Inej's eyes except her's were more hopeful than he had ever seen Inej. This Grisha fully believed that something good could still happen in the world. Kaz was almost jealous of this, but of course, this Grisha had seen her side win the Ravka civil war. His eyes now met hers and he saw that while he was studying her she had been doing the same to him. He could tell she knew he was lying but he didn't care. He had spent the last 4 months keeping his answers vague, giving just enough information so that she would feed him information back about the current situation at the Little Palace, now the true royal home since the Grand Palace lay in ruin. King Aleksander left it as a reminder to those who would attempt to assassinate him, bodies still left scattered around the rubble, Alina Starkov's kefta in tatters on the front steps. Kaz hadn't seen it but from the way this Grisha described it, he believed it was terrifying.

"Mr. Brekker, we both know the heist you were attempting could never be accomplished with just two people," she said, a knowing smile on her face. This seeming infatuation the Grisha had with him was a plus for Kaz. He often wondered if he could possibly seduce his way out of the situation but his mind couldn't fathom the interactions involved, so he would wait. Perhaps this woman had a inclination towards criminals, she might be seduced by anyone, Jesper could do it easily, Kaz just had to get the ball rolling so to speak.

"I don't know, I think Jesper and I can accomplish anything we put out mind to," he answered, bringing himself to nudge his partner in crime with his elbow. The Grisha nodded and opened her notebook as she did at every meeting and began to write.

Y/N had noticed the look on Kaz Brekker's face when he elbowed Jesper Fahey. She could see his hesitation, she noticed the look in his storm gray eyes. He was bracing himself for impact as if the touch would somehow hurt him. Jesper's face was surprised at the touch, and he physically turned towards Kaz with shock. She opened her notebook and pretended to jot down something important as she did every day, but she mentally notated this interaction. She had been listening to others in the prison and despite his limp Kaz never let anyone see him as weak, however, this aversion to touch was never mentioned. He hid it well out in the general population but she could see something about touch bothered him immensely, that information could be useful later. Kaz Brekker was a tough nut to crack she had to admit, but eventually she would get to where she needed to be with him, hopefully sooner rather than later. Aleksander was having a tough time buying her excuses and she had to become even more convincing for him, continuing to keep his trust after the betrayal of the Sun Summoner was an arduous task. She hoped soon she could drop her facade and begin her true purpose, breaking Kaz Brekker and his cohorts out of this prison and find the gathering resistance in the Permafrost.

"Alright Mr. Brekker, we left off yesterday with you explaining to me how you came to know about jurda parem and what the Fjerdans were doing with Bo Yul-Bayor and his son Kuwei?" she said. It had taken months for Kaz to even start explaining anything to her. She had hoped that agreeing to allow his friend to be his cellmate would open him up. Luckily the gamble had worked at their last interrogation. His answers had still been too vague to really make an impact but it was a start. She hated to make him desperate but she needed the information, something to feed to Aleksander and send him on a chase for more jurda parem. Kuwei Yol-Bo had escaped from the Ice Court and that knowledge was keeping Bo from cooperating with the Second Army. He had recreated exactly one vial of jurda parem and refused to create another until his son was returned safely to him. Kaz Brekker and Jesper Fahey had been the last people to see Kuwei alive and she needed something to tell Aleksander before he decided to come here and do the interrogations himself.

"Yes, I believe I told you that a rumor had gone around Ketterdam and that I just happened to hear it," he said, making sure he was as convincing as he could be. Once again Y/N pretended to write something down, pretending to believe his lie. He was a very good liar, she could see that in the way his eyes held truth, his body language said honest, even his pulse was calm, however, the blood in his veins moved just a milisecond faster during his falsehoods. It had taken nearly a month to figure out the tell in his body but she had done it and now she used this against him.

"Must have been quite a rumor to make you put your friends in the line of fire of Fjerdans and of King Aleksander," she said, keeping her voice light, leaning a little closer to him. She couldn't lie, she was enraptured by the young man from the Barrel of Ketterdam, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that he would ever see her as anything other than another Ravkan Grisha blindly serving her king, but she could pretend that she hoped to lure him in, get him feeling confident about her.

"Jesper will tell you, he was eager to join me to find this new drug, imagine the kruge we could make from such a thing," Kaz said, standing suddenly and poking Jesper towards Y/N with his cane. He moved towards the wall, leaning against it. Y/N watched him for a few moments before turning her attention to Jesper. He wanted to push someone else at her? Why? She could tell he liked the attention she gave him, maybe not in a way most men did, but he liked it all the same. Jesper barked a laugh.

"Eager? You came back and acted like we were going to be rolling in kruge, become kings of Kerch," Jesper said. He was also a practiced liar, following the lead of his boss as it were. Y/N smiled at Jesper then, making sure her brown eyes looked intrigued and enraptured. She noticed the Zemeni man leaned back in his chair then, clearly not interested in the attentions of a Grisha like herself. "But ya, I mean, I wanted the kruge and I was having a good run that night at the tables, felt lady luck was on my side." She saw him fidgeting near his waist, where his guns should be. She had those stored in her private quarters, along with a certain crow headed cane, waiting for the right moment. She had been watching Kaz and Jesper since they arrived, having her spies give her information on them. They were the only link she had to Kuwei and Inej Ghafa and she needed to know all she could before she continued her plan.

She tried to pry more out of the two for several minutes before one of her people, a young Squallor entered.

"The hour is late Korovsa, the king is finished waiting," she whispered. Y/N’s jaw tightened. Her eyes flashed to Kaz and she saw him take notice of the slight change in her features. Her fears were starting to come to pass. She needed to end this charade now.

"Guard, please escort Mr. Fahey back to his new cell. Mr. Brekker and I have more to discuss," she ordered. The guard grabbed Jesper's arm, hauling him from the seat. Y/N wanted to say something, tell them to lay off the guy, but knew she couldn't appear as if she cared. Once he was gone she made a motion for Kaz to sit. He still stood. "Sit, now," she insisted, hoping he heard the urgency in her voice. He eyed for another moment before he moved to sit. She leaned closer, all of her coy attitude gone.

"What's happened?" Kaz asked casually, working the top of the walking stick with his hands, the only sign of his concern. Y/N let out a breath.

"My time is up, tomorrow night expect there to be a riot, stay in your cell with Jesper, don't leave until you hear 2 bells, then leave the cell and go to your left, the door will be ajar due to the last guard through it mistakenly knocking over mop. Once you are in the corridor go right and follow it to the deserted morgue. I will join you and lead you and Jesper out, do not leave without me," she said.

"Why should I believe any of this? That you're just going to help up walk out of there?" Kaz asked, trying to read her, seeing if she was lying. She groaned annoyed. Why was it that her only hope was as distrustful as her current king?

"Because I want to see the king's body burn before he destroys all of us," she whispered, voice dripping with venom. Kaz looked a little surprised at her viciousness and he nodded. She sat back, knowing that by now the guard had returned.

"Well Mr. Brekker, you've once again been no help, tomorrow the king will be coming to personally interrogate you, I hope you are looking forward to it," she said. "Guard take him back to his cell." The guard nodded and yanked him out of the chair. "Careful, the king won't like it if he can't inflict the pain himself," she warned, more to Kaz than the guard. She hoped Kaz believed her enough, that she had shown her hand to him enough that he would do as she asked. If he didn't they were all screwed.

[its-kall-the-clown]

Please 12 or 27 for SilkTea it’s such a comfort ship to me plsss. ;-;

Yo. Anon. You and me would totes get along because it's my comfort ship too (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) I went with 27 because it had more potential some romance fdshgljdfs

Consider this a continuation of THIS

Huntsman is the definition of a tsundere jkdfgjsdfg

prompt list

All The Things You Don't Deserve

Rating: PG

Sandy was just cleaning and re-dressing Huntsman's wounds. Something he had done a few times now while he had Huntsman under his care. They always did it on his bed, it was more comfortable for them both anyways. Sandy also always reserved this task for the end of the day so Huntsman could then go to bed and rest comfortably with fresh clean bandages.

But today it was different. They were more stiff than normal, even when he applied the herbal salve that always had the spider melting under his touch he remained as stiff as a rod.

"You alright?" Sandy asked the spider demon under his care who jump at his words, which is odd because he has been tending to his wounds on his back for the past ten minutes and hasn’t gone anywhere. Were they so lost in their head they forgot he was here?

It wouldn't be the first time. Huntsman had a habit of just zoning off, at first he thought they were sulking, but after studying after the first few times it happened he realized that Huntsman’s fist was always tight and his jaw would be clenched tight and his eyes would sometimes dart back and forth like he was looking for something.

It's then that Sandy realized that Huntsman suffered from panic attacks.

He could never quite figure out what was triggering them, sometimes it was loud noises, sometimes it would be if Sandy stood behind him too close. And sometimes none of it triggered it.

“I’m fine.” they bite out bringing Sandy back from his musing.

“You sure?” he presses the palm of his hand against the spine of the spider's bareback. They shiver under the touch and he can feel their heart beating quickly. The rapid beat snapping back and forth inside the demon's chest.

“Because your heart is pounding right now…” he reaches around and presses his hand against the exposed chest over the huntsman’s heart. It leaps under the contact picking up its pace. Their breath hitches but they shut their eyes tightly and the spider demon turns their head away, refusing to even look at him.

Sometimes Sandy wonders if he’s the only one feeling this attraction. He thought he was picking up signals? Seeing signs that they were interested too but then it would disappear beneath the surface and Sandy would begin to doubt what he saw.

He sighs and retracts his hand when Huntsman keeps his lips sealed tight.

Sandy wasn’t going to get anywhere tonight if he continued to press. Maybe he would never get anywhere and he was only harassing the spider demon in ways that were not welcome. He finishes his task, using fresh gauze to wrap up Huntsman’s wounds and then he helps them back into the oversized shirt that he would sleep in.

He pulls away after that, creating space for his patient. He never wanted to crowd them or make them feel like he was forced to do anything.

Plants always did better when they had space to grow, and Sandy thinks that advice works just as well on people as it does on plants.

“I’ll let you rest.”

He’s rising from the side of the bed ready to turn in for the night. Before he can even get a foot away from the bed there is a hand on his wrist holding him in place.

“Where….where do you sleep? When you leave me here…” Huntsman asked, frowning at the sheets like they offended him. There is a slight plum blush that dusts his face. Once against making Sandy think there was a signal for him.

“I sleep on the sofa,” he explains. Ready to pull away again for the night but the grip around his wrist tightens again keeping his feet anchored in place.

“That doesn't sound very comfortable…” they squirm in place, looking adorable in one of Sandy’s shirts that act as a sleep gown on the Spider demon. He waits for them to continue, they clearly have more to say but he isn’t sure what yet.

Huntsman huffs and scoots over a little bit.

Sandy blinks and he watches them scoot over again, creating even more space on the bed. Not once has he let go of his wrist.

Huntsman looks at him with his multiple eyes, then looks to the empty space he’s created.

And then it clicks.

An invitation.

Well call Sandy selfish but he wanted the invitation to be hand-delivered and read out loud for him so there could be no room for misinterpreting. He smirks a lazy smile and leans over the bed into Huntsman’s space, he prompts himself up with a hand on the mattress.

He leans into Huntsman’s space, getting as close as the spider would allow. He smiles brightly at them and waits. He could be patient. If there was one thing he was good at, it was waiting.

The spider's face scrunches up, emotions flashing across his face faster than either of them have time to process. Looks like he needed a little push to get the words out.

“Well...goodnight.” he fakes pulling away, not even needing to go through with it because both hands grab his arm now.

“You can sleep here….you know if you want.” they offer finally and Sandy smiles brightly.

"Only if you're comfortable with it." Giving huntsman a way out if he wanted.

"It's fine…." Huntsman scoots over again giving half the bed to him.

"Pardon the intrusion then~" the be dips with his added weight and he finds himself under the covers of his bed. He will admit that the sofa wasn't as comfortable as his bed and he lets out a content sigh to be under his covers.

He pushes his luck and throws a protective arm over Huntsman's body as soon as they are comfortable under the covers. He tries not to laugh when he hears them let out a little squeak under his touch.

"Goodnight~"

--------------------

What. The. Fuck???!

Huntsman could only feel his heart beating erratically in his chest.

He already was struggling with keeping his heart rate down around Sandy. But now???

What the fuck was he thinking? Inviting Sandy into the bed with him?

Idiot. His brain must be broken, or maybe the tea Sandy has been feeding him has actually been poison and it has been affecting his thinking powers.

Yes, that must be the answer.

Today's experiments had been... inconclusive. He still couldn't figure out what about Sandy made his heartbeat like this. He couldn't tell if he was afraid of them? Felt safe around them? Hated him? Liked him??

No definitely not that last one.

So maybe inviting Sandy into the bed was another experiment. If he had more time with them maybe he could figure out why this unmanned feeling kept rising in his chest every time they were around it kept bubbling up and every time he touched him his body stopped working.

He had to figure out what Sandy was doing to him so he could stop it.

So here he was, stiffly laying in bed, in one of Sandy's oversized shirts that fell to his knees and the object of his problem.

He could hear Sandy breathing behind him and he curls his knees to his chest making himself as small as possible. He catches himself on the weak action and uncurls himself.

He would not be made weak. He would not submit under whatever Sandy was to him.

He was strong! A hunter! And he would conc-

An arm is thrown across his body interrupting his thoughts like a collapsing bridge. The large blue arm brings Huntsman closer, pressing his back to Sandy's chest as they mutter a goodnight.

He lets out a little surprised squeak and he feels rather than heard the low chuckle from Sandy's chest. That damn hand finding it's way to his hip again where it rubbed gently through the fabric.

He realizes once again he's being played with. Just a teddy bear to be used for the larger demon.

"Your not playing fair…" he growls out flexing his claws in his fist and there is another low rumble of a chuckle against his back.

"All's fair in love and war.." they explain the words vibrating down his back and into his soul.

Something clicks. And it's so loud in his mind it makes him stop breathing. Dangerous thoughts fill the spider's head and he's terrified of every single one of them.

He's faced countless dangers, killed enemies twice his size, and endured injuries that would drive a normal person mad.

None of that scared him.

But the thought of being loved was petrifying.

"Which…"

"Hmm?"

Huntsman licks his lips and shuts his eyes tightly his body is shaking, all the dangerous ideas filling him up and shaking him around like an eight ball.

"Which .. one are you playing…" he asked, this time his knees did curl into himself. He didn't have much time to hide because he's being turned around with large gentle hands and the bed dips from the shifted weight.

Sandy is above him. Arms on either side of his head, boxing him in as they hover over him like an empty threat.

His breath hitches when Sandy's eyes meet his. They are like two gems, sparkling in the low light and as precious as sapphire.

"What do you want me to play at?" They asked, their voice taking on the husky tone that makes the hairs on the back of Huntsman's neck stand up.

Once again his heart is out of control. Beating frantically against his will in his chest like a trapped hummingbird. With Sandy over him...something akin to anticipation grows. He realizes that Sandy is waiting for him to answer.

It was all on him. Everything was in his court.

He licks his lips again, opening his mouth with a few false starts before his jaw clicks shut again.

"I don't ….I don't know." He admits and Sandy gives him this sympathetic smile.

They lean forward and Huntsman's breath hitches again, he shuts his eyes waiting for what would come. He feels the most gentle and delicate kiss pressed to his eyelids. Each one of his four eyes is gently kissing. Not a single one was left out.

He lets out a little whimper under each one. The duality of his brain confuses him.

It's too much. It's not enough. He wants more. He doesn't deserve it.

He thinks Sandy will kiss him for real, he can feel the breath against his lips, hovering slightly over him. He opens his mouth with a little desperate gasp.

The kiss never comes and he opens his eyes to see Sandy pulling away.

"Let me know when you do. I can wait."

The cold he feels when Sandy pulls away and lays back down goes bone-deep.

Huntsman just lets his body sink into the mattress. His heart is pounding and his eyes feel heavy. Not because they were tired, the touch of Sandy just lingered...if he closed his eyes again he could feel the weight of his lips on them.

He wants that.

He realizes how desperately he wants this. He wants to be treated gently, he wants to be held gently and treasured like he's valuable and kissed softly and melt under the heat that was Sandy.

He turns his back to Sandy’s, curling himself protectively.

He wants it. He wants it so bad his body physically aches for touch. He must have some sort of disease to want to be touched so badly.

He wants it and yet….he knows he can’t have it. His wounds were almost healed and he would be returning to his queen soon. He would leave this wonderful little world.

A world of tea, warmth, and cats. A cozy world of tender touch and kind eyes.

It was a wonderland, and he was Alice, eventually, he would have to leave too. He hides his disappointment to the realization in between his ribs. He tucks it away and locks it uptight.

He didn’t deserve to let the feeling flourish.