#//It's not really that he doesn't think Luc would care; it's that he Knows the man would be utterly Awful handling it

[dutybcrne]

More thinkings abt the crack not crack idea of Bedo and Kae making a lil homunculus:

Kae would prolly deliberately neglect to mention to Bedo his family's connection to the Abyss Order and any potential Abyssal affinity they might inherit through having used his genetic samples to make them, just as much as Bedo would not mention he hismelf might be a ticking timebomb that might bring Mond's ruin.

[lxvebun]

silent confessions

synopsis: the genshin men crushing on you and the little ways they show they care.

content: Kaeya/Venti/Alhaitham/ Arataki Itto x gender neutral reader. First time writing for venti so apologies if its a lil off. Fluff. Friends to lovers. Kissing in kaeya's. wingman diluc honestly. Going a lil feral in alhaithams and ittos. Use of nickname dear and cecilia<3 They are all quite long but I hope you all enjoy it! Not completely proofread. Let me know if there are any annoying mistakes!

⁎⁺˳✧༚ Kaeya໒꒱.*

Diluc is sure of three things. One, You're hands down single-handedly keeping the icedtea business alive in Mondstadt, his arms are still hurting from the heavy crates of imported tea from Liyue he has to carry every. Single. Week. Two, you're incredibly oblivious, three, kaeya is a lovesick fool.

Even though diluc has offered to deliver some iced tea crates to your home, it seems that you prefer to drink his stash empty at the bar next to kaeya.

It's making him ill really, seeing the way his brothers eyes keep drifting to your lips and how his hands inch closer to yours, still never really touching. Diluc almost doesn't recognize him. Kaeya is not the type to get flustered easily, if anything, try to make him flustered and it will backfire! but here he is, for hours sitting at the bar head leaning on his hands staring at you like you hung the stars.

You fail to notice how, despite not touching your drink for so long, at one point even dancing around the tavern when the bard played your favorite song, the icecubes in your glass never seem to melt and the tea never gets warm. It's the least he can do, Kaeya would be showing you more grand gestures of love if you didnt make his head fog up with hearts and flowers everytime your near.

"I'm going to use the bathroom, i'll be right back! "You say as you hop of the barstool and make your way to the second floor.

"This, is getting sad you know", diluc speaks as he snatches both yours and Kaeya's glass away, dodging quick enough as Kaeya tries to get it back

"Oh i'm sorry, I didn't know my love life was such an interesting show to you. I'll make sure to tell the writers"

Stupid arrogant oblivious brother of his

He's not gentle as he grabs one of the big pints, pours your favorite iced tea in with the ice cubes and slices of lemon and two straws this time and places it down infront of kaeya.

"I'm doing you a favor icicle"

Kaeya's unable to retort a remark back because you're sitting down next to him again.

"Ooh whats this, luc?" As you stir the tea with your straw, the ice cubes gently clinking against the edges of the glass

"On the house, it's the last"-he throws you a look- bit of icetea I have for tonight. Enjoy." And with that he steps out the backdoor for a break leaving you and kaeya in an almost empty tavern

He's feeling uncharacteristically shy sharing a drink like this. He's not sure he can contain the love confession thats lingering on his lips if you're that close to eachother. You snap him out of his thoughts before he can even try.

"Come on try this with me...its...its quite romantic don't you think" you say, a little timid

Youre killing him. Hes deceased y/n.

"Yeah, didn't- didnt realise Diluc had a romantic bone in him, guess it runs in the family after all"

You're not sure where you got the courage from for what you're about to say

"Maybe, we should do more of these romantic things together."

And just like that, knowing you shared his feelings, he got a bit of his charming wit back.

"My dear y/n- he starts, leaning down closer to you, one icy hand holding yours. Are you asking me out on a date" he wants to revel in making you flustered but he's pretty sure he looks just as flustered as you do.

"Only if you want to, Kaeya"

The way he presses his lips to yours gives you the answer you needed<3

Venti, alhaitham and itto under the cut!

⁎⁺˳✧༚ Venti໒꒱.*

Archons, the summer this time around is way hotter than any summers before. It's scorching outside and if it weren't for your knight of favonius duties, duties you took over for the Cavalry Captain for his day off (>:( ), you would stay inside the cool headquarters, in your little office with the curtains closed.

You really should get going but you're delaying stepping outside. The favonius headquarters is nice and cool and and looking outside you can see the heat radiating from the stone pathways

You're a knight of favonius! A little sunshine isn't going to hurt! You try to hype yourself up as you make it to the entrance. You can do this, who knows, you might even get a tan.

Bracing yourself and pushing the heavy doors open, you're pleasantly surprised at how the wind immediately seems to pick up and twirl and flow around you in cooling circles. Yes, the sun is still beaming down in all his glory, but the breeze definitely helps. You may even get through this without breaking too much of a sweat.

As you're doing your errands and run basically all over Mondstadt, the gentle breeze surrounding you never seems to falter, even now, as you carry heavy crates of sunsettias and apples up the stairs to Good Hunter, it actually seems like the wind has started to pick up, aiding you in its own way.

Sara is more than grateful as you place the crates down in the back for her. "You're a lifesaver y/n, please, go sit down and i'll whip something up for you".

Who are you to deny a break and a free meal?

Before you sit down you take off your sword and place it down next to you so you can completely unwind. It's not until you look back up from your weapon that you see Venti, with the bright smile he always seems to carry, sitting infront of you

"Hi, my sweet cecilia"

Archons, that nickname. You're lucky you can blame the weather on the sudden warmth flowing through your body.

"You're awfully happy for such a hot day, Venti"

He doesn't provide an answer to that, why is he so happy? Because he's with you of course, he's basically been spending the whole day with you, how could he not be happy?

instead of saying that tho he says "the wind is nice, hmm?" And On cue the wind stars to pick up again, now carrying the scent of the meal Sara is cooking up for you and twirling a few flower petals that got caught in it around you You little

"Yeah it is, i'm not sure I would have been able to get through the day without a little breeze in my face" you laugh and it's the sweetest melody he's ever heard.

"I guess the anemo archon has a soft spot for me"

"I suppose he does"

You fail to catch the longing glint in his eyes and the blush covering his cheeks as Sara brings you your meal<3

Oh my dear y/n if only you knew.

⁎⁺˳✧༚ Alhaitham໒꒱.*

It's not until Kaveh points it out, after Alhaitham leaves to pick up another book from the House of Daena library shelves, that you realize it, but it seems that Alhaitham, despite looking like he wants to be anywhere but here, always seems to look out for you.

Like the time he dragged you to the desert to study runes with him, he made sure every time you two stood still for a long time, he'd raise his cape a little above your head, sheltering you from the burning sun

And that one time where he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his side when some drunkards stumbling home almost bumped into you

"Drop your pen when he gets back" kaveh says, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Drop my-"

"Sshh, just do it" he hushes quickly and goes back to drawing as Alhaitham sits back down next to you with a new book in his hand.

You let Alhaitham read a few more pages before you "accidentally" drop your pen under the table, sliding your seat back and ducking under to retrieve it, when you look back up to avoid hitting your head on the corner of the table, Alhaithams hand is already covering it. His gaze is still as focused as ever on the book infront of him, it's almost like it happened entirely subconsciously, like it was already engraved in his perception to look out for you and that alone made the butterlies in your tummy flutter around. You don't miss the "I told you so" gaze Kaveh throws at you.

Alhaithams book manages to hide the gentle smile he failed to hold back as he guesses from the look on your face and body language that you're onto him, and if he can guess one more time, he'd say the feelings are mutual.

He doesn't say anything but he does reach under you to grab the leg of your chair and pull you closer to him, arm draped behind you over the backrest, gently drawing shapes on your shoulder as he continues to read his book

*Did ya'll see that one nick jonas clip where he pulls her chair closer? Yeah? Thats alhaitham.

⁎⁺˳✧༚ Arataki Itto໒꒱.*

The locals of Inazuma are used to the never ending thundering and lightning. Even on clear days, it seems like you can always hear it lurking in the distance, dancing over the seas. Unfortunately for you, you’re not a local and despite having been here for a while, long enough to develop strong friendships and perhaps a little crush <3 the loud claps of thunder and the lightning that cracks open the clouds still make you flinch

You were embarrassed about it, so you never voiced it out to your friends. You would just try to hide your flinches and do your best to block out the noise. You're not doing that very well unfortunately. Itto has noticed, and boy does it make his heart hurt a little every time he catches you trying to hide it. You're part of the gang! Whether you know  that or not, you're supposed to be able to tell him these things! but he understands, you seem to think that you're going to look weak in front of Arataki numero uno claymore swinging devil beatbox and beetle fighting legend Itto. He made me write this really You could never considering he gets weak in the knees everytime you make eye contact or touch his horns

So as the leader of your gang, your best friend and hopefully future boyfriend, he’s gonna help you because If there's one thing Itto is good at its being loud. It’s quite hard to hear the thunder lurking in the background when Itto's boisterous laugh as he’s "winning" a game of TCG seems to overpower everything, including the way your heart beats a little faster when he smiles at you.

You didn’t notice what he was doing until there was a summer storm forecasted. You didn't even have time to mentally prepare yourself for it before there was a harsh knocking at your door, maybe a bit to hard itto pls dont break the door

"Open up sunshine, I have some snacks :D"

He’s quick to make himself comfortable as you let him in, throwing the impressive amount of snacks and some card games on the coffee table and then taking up half the space on the couch, being careful to not knock the lamp on the sidetable down with his horns.

"Not that I mind Itto, but i didn't expect you to come over. Any reasons?"

"Yeah you're"- he cuts himself off. You never told him about your fear of thunder, would it upset you if you knew he figured it out?, archons he didnt think of an excuse what should he say, where is Kuki in times like this

"Yeah, I just thought i’d keep you some company because I AM afraid of summerstorms, yup, totally terrifying, so scary,so here i am."

Even he knows it's not believable. Especially since he has directed some...colorful words with the shogun before (not in her presence)

You are afraid”-

AND AND I thought, you know, maybe, since were all going to be locked up in our houses anyway we could have a little at home date......:D

Archons, Itto, if the storm isn't going to kill you its him. He's been aware of your fear and silently tried to help you with it? And now he has basically slipped a confession in trying to hide the fact he knows about your fear? He's such a teddybear fr

You don't fight the smile that's pulling at the corners of your mouth as you sit down next to him. Pressing a kiss to his cheek and pretending not to notice the hitch in his breath "Thank you, Itto"

Thank you for reading angels!<3

[vivwritesfics]

Fake It Till You Make It

Chapter Four - Princess And Her Prince

The Princess of Monaco is wild and out of control. She needs to stop being in the tabloids for all the wrong reasons. Charles Leclerc has had a spot of bad press since his very public break up. He needs some good PR. What better way to fix their problems than to pair them up?

2K

Series Masterlist

Princess And Her Prince

Dear readers,

We at the Monaco Press would like to apologise for out earlier comments, hinting that Princess Y/N could have possibly been dating Fernando Alonso, driver for the Aston Martin F1 team. 

It seemed that, just last night, the party princess was attending dinner with none other than our very own, Charles Leclerc. The two aren't known to be friends, but the Ferrari driver is known to have a friendship with Prince Henri. 

Ever since the pictures of the princess and her possible beau were released, many fans have been theorising as to what is going on. Many suspect that this was all set up by Prince Henri himself. We are all aware just how much the Prince loves the five time race winner. 

But here at the Monaco Press, we are thinking a little deeper than that. It is no secret that Princess Y/N could use some good PR. And what better way to get good PR than to date the people's Prince?

Henri exhaled as he threw the newspaper down. "I'm starting to really hate the Monaco Press," he muttered to himself as he rubbed his temples. 

There was little more he could do but parade them through the streets in a golden carriage. 

He had seen the pictures leaked of she and Charles having dinner. Even he believed they were in love and he had set the entire thing up. All he could do was wait and see what happened.

***

Ever since the pictures of her and Charles had been released, along with that damn article from the Monaco Press, her group chat had been going crazy. Her friends couldn't quite believe what they were seeing 

Party Paupers 🎉🎉

Luc: 

YOU SLY BASTARD 

Amelie: 

How tf did you pull Charles Leclerc?

Luc: 

I have never been more jealous of you

On a side note, what does he see in you?

Y/N:

Wdym I'm a catch

But also

Hole in the wall tonight?

I beg 

Luc:

only if you bring your new boyf

The hole in the wall was a little, lesser known bar in Monaco. It was the perfect place for the party princess and her friends to just chill out.

She got herself ready, dressed down in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and headed out to the hole in the wall.

As usual, she was the first one there. The owner slid her usual drink towards her. "Haven't seen you in a while," he said as he cleaned glasses. She didn't doubt that he'd read the tabloid about her, knew what she had been up to.

She shrugged her shoulders and sipped her drink. "You know how life is," she said.

She finished her first drink by the time Luc came into the bar. He pushed his dark hair out of his blue eyes and strode towards her. "Tell me everything," he said as he sat in the seat beside her and ordered a drink.

"There's nothing to tell." Her drink was filled up and she downed it. "We met at the Grand Prix, he asked me out and... here we are." She finished her second gin and tonic and placed it down onto the bar. It was quickly filled up again. "When are Amélie and Bea getting here?" She asked

Luc shrugged his shoulders, but it was clear he didn't care about their whereabouts. "So, are you and Charles going steady now? Could you invite him here?"

"Luc, I just want to have a drink in peace," she groaned.

But then, Amélie and Bea walked into the bar. "Thank God," she muttered under her breath, ordering a beer instead of gin.

But Amélie and Bea were as determined to annoy her as Luc was. "He doesn't have our approval yet," they said the minute they sat down. "We need to hit him."

Her head hit the bar and she groaned. "You guys are kidding," she said as she straightened herself up and sipped her beer. "You can't meet him."

"Yeah, we can."

"We must!"

One drink later and she had her phone out, texting Charles. They had hardly texted each other since their date, just said hello to ensure they had each others phone numbers.

She sent him a quick text and slipped her phone into her pocket, not expecting any reply.

Charles hadn't yet left Monaco. In just a day he'd be leaving, heading off for the next Grand Prix. While he'd been in Monaco he'd seen his family, kept up with his training, and gone on a date with a princess.

It had exhausted him. For the entire day he sat at his piano, ignoring his phone as he just messed around. Soft melodies filled his apartment.

In the evening, Charles finally checked his phone. He scrolled through his notifications, ignoring most of them until he got to his text messages.

He answered his mother, his brother and Prince Henri. He scrolled through the rest of his messages until he got to her.

Her. Why was she texting him? Sure, they had exchanged numbers, but Charles hadn't expected her to use it unless she wanted to set something up for the tabloids.

Princess Y/N:

Waaaant to meef Mr atc the holg in the f wall,

*?

Charles couldn't stop the surprised laugh that left his lips. He quickly typed out a reply and wandered into his bedroom to get dressed.

Charles Leclerc:

I'll be there in ten x

He got dressed as quickly as he could. In all of his years of living in Monaco, Charles had never heard of the hole in the wall. He searched for it on Google maps, but even that wasn't entirely clear.

He found himself parking his car anywhere and wandering down a street that didn't feel entirely safe. Halfway down the street (it was really more of an alleyway), there was a door with a beaten up and battered sign. The Hole In The Wall.

He could hear all of the noise as he pushed open the door. But, the minute he stepped into the bar.

Charles looked around, looking for any sign of the princess, but bewildered faces stared back at him. "Um... hello," he said and offered a wave.

"HE'S REAL!" Came a shout from the left of the bar.

So, that was the direction he started in. Charles walked past the bar until he found a small group of people.

Two girls stared at him, but not in the way girls usually stared at him. It was more like they were scrutinising him as they stepped to the side to reveal her.

There she was, on a bar stood with an empty drink in her hands. She laughed as she leaned against a boy with dark hair. "I was almost 110% sure nobody was going to show up. Or Henri would have dragged you out again."

Charles looked at the guy with a frown. Was this her boyfriend? Why not at least fake date this man?

"What can I get you, Charlie?" She asked him, her words slurring together.

Charlie. He froze up at that. It was rare he'd let anybody call him Charlie, and he certainly didn't think he and Y/N were on that level, yet.

He shook his head. "Let me buy you a drink, princess."

At that, she fell quiet, her expression turning from a smile to a glare. "Forget it," she muttered under her breath, turning her attention back to her friend.

Charles stood there somewhat awkwardly while the two of them conversed. And then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned quickly, flattening himself against the bar as he looked at the two girls.

"So, you're this Charles she's been talking about," one of them said.

"What makes you think you're good enough for our Y/N?" The other asked.

Charles wasn't entirely sure how to answer. But it confirmed one thing for him, that his friends didn't know it was all fake. "I... uh, I think she's really great," he said, drumming his fingers against the bar. "She's fun, she's pretty and she's sharp."

But still, her friends glared. "You're way in over your head," the first said. She let out a dry laugh and shook her head, returning to her drink.

For the next few minutes, things were uncomfortable. Charles stood there, watching the girls to the left and the pair to his right. He watched as the man kissed the princess's head and turned his attention to Charles.

"Smoke break," he said, pulling the carton of cigarettes from his pocket. He grabbed Charles arm and pulled him out of the bar.

Charles spared one look at the princess, but she turned away, still wearing a scowl.

Once outside, the man leaned against the wall and lit his cigarette. "Want one?" He asked, offering the pack to Charles. But he shook his head. "Ah, right. You're a high performance athlete, and all that." He placed his cigarette between his lips and offered his hand to Charles. "I'm Luc."

"Charles." But Luc definitely already knew that.

Luc drew in a breath, bringing the smoke to his lungs before he exhaled. "You want a bit of advice for the princess" He asked, but Charles was pretty sure he wasn't going to get a choice in the matter. "She hates who she is. She hates being a princess so maybe stop reminding her of it."

"I... thanks," he said, leaning beside him on the wall.

But Luc wasn't finished. "She must like you," he said. "Or she never would have introduced you to us." He tapped the ash from his cigarette and placed it back between his lips. "You can go now."

Charles did just that. He thanked Luc once again and headed back inside the bar. Immediately he walked over to the bar. "Gin and tonic, please," he said to the girl behind the bar. She took a moment to make it and then passed it to him.

He picked it up and walked it over to the prince- Y/N. He walked it over to her and placed it down in front of her. "A peace offering," he said.

She picked it up and sipped, all while staring at him. When she finished it in four large gulps and placed it down, she smiled. "Now you know what not to do."

She was too drunk for proper conversation, Charles realised as she leaned against him. But he still tried. He'd get her home soon enough. "I've got a question," he said and she looked up at him. "Your friend Luc, why doesn't Henri have you 'date' him?" He asked quietly.

Suddenly she was laughing, a laugh that echoed around the hole in the wall. "Charles," she managed through her laugh. "Charlie. He's famously gay."

Charles couldn't help it as his cheeks reddened. He had no idea who Luc Sinclair was.

Conversation flowed somewhat easily. But, before he knew it, he had his arm around her waist, her arm around his neck, as he carried her out to the car. "You're wasted," he said as he pulled open the car door and helped her into the seat.

She giggled as she looked up at him. "Get used to it if you're gonna be dating me," she said and Charles shut the door.

For the entire ride to her apartment, she fiddled with the radio. But Charles didn't much mind.

When they got to her building, she climbed out of the car and began stumbling towards the lobby doors. Charles was quick to follow, wrapping his arm around her to keep her upright. "What're you doing?" She asked, stopping in front of the doors.

"Helping you up to your apartment," he answered.

She shook her head. "You can't see my apartment."

Charles pulled open the lobby door and helped her inside. "No, Charles," she moaned as he led her to the elevator. "It's all messy and not very princess like at all."

Well, Charles didn't much care about that.

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[cfr749]

Initial Thoughts on Chenford in 6x07

All right... I'm feeling... a lot at the moment, so just sharing my initial reactions before seeing anyone else's. I'm sure my feelings will evolve. Also this turned into a GD essay and I'm sorry.

The Good

Grey acknowledging that Lucy was going through a lot ABOVE & BEYOND the break up. I just wish he'd mentioned the shooting, too. Lucy deserves to be more than her relationship with Tim and I need to actually see that in the future.

Lucy laying out 2 key things in her conversation with Grey - how easily Tim walked away and that he had no right to make that decision for her

Prior to the last scene (see The Ugly below), I thought Tim's interactions with the therapist were reasonably well done; if only therapy was that easy in real life lol

"You've always got a home with me" - I loved this final scene between Lucy and Tamara. I don't really have feelings either way about Tamara at this point, and this still hit me right in the heart.

Smitty's poll made me laugh, but also another solid indicator that these writers / producers do in fact really enjoy laughing at the expense of the fandom and shippers (which, whatever, I don't care that they do, I'd prob do the same; but it does irk me when people act like these writers should be worshipped because of all the things they "give" us)

The Tim

"I'm not depressed. I broke up with her."

"I was her TO." Not her friend, cuz god knows Tim has yet to deal with the fact that he started banging his former Rookie I suppose.

I dunno whether to put this in The Good or The Bad at this point; it depends on where they take it, so instead Tim gets a section all about why he's a dick.

To be clear, I do not like that Tim is a dick. But I actually do kind of like that it is very clear TO THE AUDIENCE that Tim is being kind of a dick. Do I still think people will bend over backwards to defend him? Of course they will.

From my perspective, I love Tim, I understand that he thinks he's doing the right thing, and has lots and lots of trauma. I've never seen Tim as a character that magically healed at some point between Seasons 1 & 5 (please see his storyline with his dad, his ongoing issues with UC work and unwillingness to confront or deal with them, his feelings about therapy historically, his inability to dump Ashley, etc. etc.). He's never been perfect and he doesn't need to be.

All of those things are true. None of those things give him a free pass to be kind of a dick. He still has to take accountability for how he treated Lucy (which, to be clear, was like sh*t).

The Bad

Lucy being petty AF with the invites to Tamara's dinner - let her be ANGRY, but give me villain Lucy over this dumb sh*t.

Lucy having no one other than Grey to talk to.

Others acting like Lucy is actually kind of pathetic (why do these writers love sh*tting on her so much? girl could not be down and kicked any harder at this point) -- Celina / Nolan and the double dumping crap, Lucy thinking Grey paid actors and him telling her she was out of her damn mind

The last interaction between Lucy and Tim. I am so angry for her. I needed to see that from her, but instead it felt kind of like her being dumped / a kicked puppy all over again. We got it, thanks. What's next? Lucy being incredibly happy with the hottest man on earth? I'm here for it tbh. Lucy plotting Tim's murder? Also here for it at this point. LOL.

The Ugly

I could not hate the implication of that final scene with Tim and the therapist and the door shutting more. There was ZERO reason they couldn't have had him show up during the day, and it actually disgusts me that they are pushing this line again, but especially with Tim. I am literally NEVER this dramatic, but in this case I really hope they did that to just get a reaction, because if anything were to actually happen between Tim and the therapist, I'd be 100% done with this ship and show as would a whole lot of the audience (I think). If I kept watching, it would only be to see Lucy be absurdly happy without Tim.

Well, what'd I miss? What did y'all think?

[redfluffz]

Are Michael and the others aware of Charlie’s existence in the future? If so, what do they think of her? What does God think of her?

For sure. Luc is always watched. So they know everything.

But knowing stuff doesn't mean, you know stuff. The 6 are aware of Charlie (and her hotel), but they really don't care. Well to the point where Charlies hotel interfer with their duties (and Gods plan).

I see it that way. Sera and Adam are so deeply involved with Charlie because it's about Sinners and Winners. But the 6 have way more higher and important things to do. I read that the higher choires of angels are involved with the universe, elements, all that stuff. So actually there is no connection.

But like I said, when Charlies doings interfer with some of their work, they have to interact with her.

Raph would like the idea of the hotel and he would support her. She is quirky and cheerish and that reminds him of Luc.

Ari would also like her and the hotel. But she won't talk with her, because Charlie is so dominant. She would just scared nodding when having a conversation with her.

Joph is difficult. On one hand she loves Charlie. She is beautiful, she is family, royal, reminds her of Luc ... but on the other hand she would be afraid the scum that could surround her. Cause the hotel wants Sinners become Winners, but in Jophs eyes they will always be Hazbins. (If you know what I mean.)

Azi does not care at all. We don't know Charlies hobbies yet, but I think they would come along just fine while playing games or so.

Gabe is okay with Charlie. She won't judge Sinners or the hotel as long as everything works in order. So maybe Gabe gives Charlie some advice in hotel management and logistic.

Michael is distant. He really loves his brother, but hates Lilith. It's so difficult for him to interact with Charlie, cause she is representing both.

And God. Well he likes her, but just because she is his sons "creation". Tbh God does not care about anything else but his son. (And that's something I'd love to explore in my comic)

I hope this is answer is helpful.

But as always these are just thoughts for my headcanon.

But thanks for asking!

[honeybeefae]

“Why are you mad?” “I’m not mad, I just think you can choose better people to kiss.” 

With either Azriel or Lucien? (I cannot decide lol)

Prompt: 2: "Why are you mad?" "I'm not mad, I just think you can choose better people to kiss."

Pairing: Lucien x Reader

Warnings: Angst

(This immediately screamed angst to me and I had to write it. I'm so sorry in advanced.)

"Why are you mad?" Lucien followed behind you as you stormed through your house, slamming doors as you went. "Y/N, talk to me. What happened?"

"I'm not mad, I-" You stop in the doorway to your room, gripping the edge of the frame while taking a deep breath. "I just think you can choose better people to kiss."

"To kiss? What are you..." He trails off before running a hand down his face in exasperation. "Is this about Elain? Why are you so upset about it? She's my mate. Of course I would pick her."

"She doesn't care about you, Lucien!" You yell, turning to face him with hot tears threatening to fall. "She's using you. When she's not getting attention from Azriel she turns to you. She doesn't care that your mates, she was just trying to make Azriel jealous!"

"Watch your mouth, Y/N." Lucien warned, stepping forward but you raised your chin in defiance, a deep frown settled on your lips.

"No. I can't. I won't. I won't stand idly by while you get played like a fiddle by her." You shake your head. "No word from her, no look in your direction, but the second Gwyn shows up suddenly she's all over you? Come on, Luc, you cannot be that dense. You have to realize-"

"Realize what? That my own mate doesn't want me? That I'm alone in this world despite the impossible odds of finding the one who is supposed to be meant for me?" He seethes, curling his fists. "Why do you even care? What is it to you?"

"I care because I love you, Lucien!" You say without thinking, chest heaving as you throw your hands up in exasperation. "I've loved you since I met you. I've been here for you to pick up the pieces of yourself that you are so stupidly ready to leave behind for a woman who doesn't even want you! When will you see that?"

The air grows deathly quiet as you both realize what you have said. Lucien looks shocked, his eye widening as you take a step back. Had you just confessed that to him? Had you really just put your entire relationship on the line for a petty argument?

As you stood there though you realized it wasn't a petty argument. No, it was something that needed to be said. He has to know. You couldn't hold it in anymore and tonight was just the last drop that overfilled the cup.

Lucien watched as you lowered your gaze and bit down on your bottom lip, taking his silence for an answer enough. You don't even look at him as you turn and wish him goodnight, shutting the door and locking it before sliding down onto the floor where you silently cry.

[rosesfox]

✿ acftl review! ✿ (spoilers!)

🚨 i'm seriously warning you, it's a review and therefore there will be spoilers. read at your own risk! 🚨

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things i really liked:

❥ the rhythm of the book was perfect for me. i was able to dive into the story very easily and it's something constant for me in sg's books. the way she develops the plot is perfect. i thought everything was well placed and the pages were used wisely.

❥ the evolution of jacks and evangeline for me is something totally palpable; evangeline continues to have the same essence as always and i love that about her. she is a romantic girl, she is a soft girl and she is sweet. but she is also intelligent, she is strong and she doesn't let herself get carried away by situations. she makes her decisions and she is in control of her life. most of all, i loved that evangeline loves jacks and believes in her love more than anything. all she wanted was him and after three books, seeing them both embrace their desires so openly was extremely satisfying.

the same goes for jacks, who also had two other books to develop as a character. his essence is the same, he remains the sociopath we all love. but he is in love. he is desperately in love. and in this book there was no room for anything other than the two of them fighting for each other. it was everything evajacks needed, and sg delivered it to us perfectly.

i would like to add that i found jacks' povs completely necessary. i saw someone saying they weren't, while i thought they helped us understand his evolution, more of his character and the way he feels about evangeline. i particularly loved it and i don't know how Stephanie thought about not including it!

btw i think it's very important to read this book remembering that it's the third in a trilogy and stephanie is not underestimating our intelligence. she will act as if this is the third book and waste no time drawing so that we understand. she has already established that evangeline and jacks love each other, here they are just on the journey to actually be together.

❥ i loved the way jacks' curse unfolded. it was better than i could have expected and i also love the way eva managed to kiss him. there is no doubt that evangeline, throughout this time, was the only girl on jacks' mind. and she is literally the only one he has ever truly loved.

❥ apollo was disgusting from the beginning to the end. i think that, for what the character proposes, he was developed very well and to some degree i think his participation was quite interesting. aurora is a pest, but i like how stephanie decided to build her.

❥ chaos and lala! i really want the two of them to have a solo book (mainly to read more about evajacks), and i really liked their occasional appearances.

❥ i honestly thought it was an amazing closing for evajacks. there was absolutely nothing missing for me (mainly because of one of the epilogues), and i'm very grateful to stephanie!

some of my analyzes that were accurate: (im so happy about it)

❥ jacks says that since the day at his church he couldn't take his eyes off her. since that day he had to convince himself that she was just a tool. since that day, he started to care. i always said that since ouabh he cared, but i didn't even imagine that it would be from the literal beginning and i loved that.

❥ eva says that the first time jacks betrayed her trust, she felt her heart break. she says that she had been in love with him ever since, so, again, i was right when i said that the two of them fell in love right from the start.

points that I found strange:

❥ where is luc? didn't he even think about visiting eva? i understand that there wasn't time for him in the book, but i would have liked to have seen him.

❥ where is marisol? (do i really care? no)

❥ kisses! i would have liked a more descriptive kiss, but what we had was incredible and cute and really suited the context and i wouldn't trade it for anything. i just wanted others.

i give the book 5 stars and i'm very happy because my favorite couple had a worthy, brilliant and wonderful closure! i don't know what i'm going to do with my life now and what i'm going to think about.

[hibischush]

mayhaps some headcannons of what the bachelorettes / bachelors would be like as parents?

Aw man of course! I could probably go into more depth but this would be too long of a post lol 🌺

Bachelorettes;

Celine

You already know that Celine would make a great parent

She has experience with kids with her little sister Dell, and she takes care of her plant babies!

Celine would be the mom to have a bunch of activities planned for her children

Celine cares a lot for nature so she would take the kids to play outside in the garden and if they wanted to help her she'd happily accept

She would make those really cute bento boxes for her children using veggies from her garden

You all go on picnics often together 🩷

She'd also scrapbook her children's development and start a scrapbooking club with Reina

I think she would be happy with boys or girls!

And I think she would be happy with 2-4 kids

Juniper

Okay...I'm not going to say that Juniper is a bad mom, but at first it's clear that she's highly inexperienced with children

She struggled a lot to adjust her lifestyle to accommodate children when they were young

Things got easier the more she communicated her struggles with you and the two of you worked through it

Once she has a few years practice under the belt she's a wonderful mom

She likes to take her children with her to gather ingredients for her potions (as long as it's not dangerous ofc)

She also takes them to the bathhouse and lets them play with Dozy and in the water

She definitely would be a boy mom

2 kids max

Reina

Oh my sweet Reina!! She would be an awesome mom!

She's so good with her younger siblings that she loves kids a lot and wants a large family!

That being said, she also wants to make sure that all of her children are taken care of and adult responsibilities or babysitting don't fall into the hands of her children

It's a given that she cooks a lot for both you and for your children

She includes them on cooking/baking prepping and once they get older they are honorary sous chefs

Maple and Luc loooove your children

They're often over helping with you two

Reina would also love to scrapbook along with Celine if she also had kids

Reina loves her big family, and she'd also be okay with any gender

3-5 children for sure

Valen

Out of all of the bachelorettes, I think Valen would be fine with not having children

So if you weren't thinking of having kids, she totally accepts that

If you do want children, Valen wouldn't deny you that either! And she would try her best to be the best mother for your child(ren)

She already knows a lot about child development and parenting

I hope she would as a doctor!

She's very serious and quiet in terms with how she interacts with her children but it's by no means intimidating. That's just how she is

She enjoys reading to them as she views it very important for their development (she also uses different voices for different characters-- she's quite good at it)

I think you both would be content with one child, but might warm up to having two

Adeline

I think that Adeline would like to be a mother someday!

I honestly think she would want to wait until her parents returned so she could focus on you and your child(ren)

But I don't know if that's going to happen in game or not

Regardless, Adeline is a very attentive mother

She loves to educate her children and indulge in their interests

And Eiland fully transitions into the best uncle ever

He usually babysits for you two if you need a date night or something happens in town

She can be strict at times, but it's not helicopter parent strict. It comes from a place of love and worry not about control

Adeline would like 1 or 2 children, and doesn't care about what gender they are

Bachelors;

Balor

Balor would love being a dad

That being said, he tends to get himself and your kids in trouble

Nothing life threatening! Just...using them to sell more items

And your kids 100% play into it and love it

They just think its playing

But he really is a great responsible dad!

He hates to go away to sell goods and buy more at the capital but when he comes back he he absolutely spoils you and the kids with gifts

Again he doesn't care about the gender of his children

I think he'd want at least 2 kids

March

March is very hesitant to become a father

He worries that his demeanor would scare or harm his children long term

But really he's just in his head because he would make a great father

He's super loving to you and to your children

He's similar to Valen where he's the quiet but caring father

March takes the kid(s) to the blacksmith's so you're able to work on the farm

The kids love playing with their uncle Olric and watching their dad work the metal

I also think that he would like to have his child(ren) take on the family business

I think he's more of a boy dad

But for mostly everyone on this list he will still love any daughter he has

Again at least 2 kids but he'd be fine with 3

Hayden

Hayden has always wanted a big family

And being the owner of the ranch and the partner of a farmer...y'all need more hands

Hands that he will love and nurture ofc

He is super fun with his kids-- he adores them even more than Henrietta

When your children are old enough, they def are helping out with the farm/ranch (but he doesn't push his children to help if they don't wish to)

I also think he'd be the dad to learn how to fish to take his kids with him (even though Hayden doesn't like fish at all lmao)

He wants a big family and would be very happy with girls or boys

anywhere from 4-6 kids!

Ryis

I think Ryis would be pretty neutral about having kids, not out of the "I hate kids" mentally but because he never really thought about it

He wanted to wait to find a great partner to have kids with

And he found that in you

And what a great father he turned out to be!

He is super responsive and patient with your children

He loves doing artsy things with him in his workshop like painting or drawing (carving wood too when they get older!)

Ryis would take them camping and fishing too lets be real

He also likes playing "house" with them and playing dress up

Unlike any other romanceables, I fully believe Ryis would be a girl dad (but again he would be happy with any gender)

2-4 kids

Eiland

Another great dad

Kind of a hot mess when your kids were younger but he enjoyed every second of it!! (maybe I think it would be funny to see such a posh Eiland go from nice clothes, clean, brushed hair, and a spotless face to a pajamas constantly, messy hair and eyebags lol)

Just like his sister, he cares a lot about his children's education

Will constantly read to them and quiz them

He will take them to his dig sites (like a bring your children to work day lol)

He loves children's curiosity

Eiland would also include them in his spin off DND sessions like the nerd he is

Adeline is a fan favorite aunt of your children, and despite being very busy herself she knows that her brother sometimes needs alone time with his s/o

But lets be honest your entire family are nerds

Again, he wouldn't care about gender

2-4 kids :)

Bonus; Caldarus

They are a rock. But to be fair they would try

Hope you enjoyed this! I tried not to get too carried away since this would be one long post.

[archeronfilm]

The Fifth Element (1997)

"I don't care, he should have been a butch lesbian."

In case you don't want spoilers, or to hear my long verbose in-detail thoughts on this movie, here's the short and sweet version:

The Fifth Element is raunchy, corny, and campy in all the right ways, and some of the wrong ones. It's far from a perfect movie, but I really enjoyed watching and rewatching it, and I would recommend it! I guess um, 4/5 stars, maybe.

Okay, now let's get serious. I saw the first 15 minutes of this movie while visiting my mother, found it so intriguing that I watched it with a friend, and then watched it again to write this review. Let's get into the meat of it. Spoilers for a 30 year old movie ahead.

Word Count: 6,082

Okay, The Fifth Element (1997), dir. Luc Besson, is a sci-fi comedy starring such greats as Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman, who I've been in love with since I watched Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990).

We open in Egypt in 1914, in a scene I can only describe as "Mummy-esque." Seriously, this scene came on in my mother's living room and I thought we were watching a yet unseen installation of The Mummy or Indiana Jones. It contains, among other things, an incredibly hammy and not-at-all-subtle dump of exposition. They go out of their way to gravitate back to this wall of runes several times, to make sure you know as much background lore as possible. A later scene renders this odd choice kind of unnecessary, but I'll concede its existence for one key reason-- the Mondoshawan.

The Mondoshawan are the good-guy aliens in this movie, though they're only featured on screen two times, one of them being this scene. Their space ship looms awesomely over this strange Egyptian exposition-temple, and they are a star example of one of the best parts of this movie.

All the effects, or at least as many of them as possible, are practical. Of course, it's a movie made in the 90's, so they would be. But the beautifully clunky and real toddling of these men in alien costumes was a dead-ringer for New Who, and it was incredibly endearing to me. I am a major believer in the power and merit of practical effects and the tragedy of computer generation. And this movie is *swimming* in practical effects. It's a delight.

I will say there's this bit where the leader Mondoshawan is toddling towards this very slowly closing stone door and he doesn't make it through because his very slow waddling is somehow slower than the door is, and I think it was supposed to be semi-serious but I laughed at it. It was just a little ridiculous.

The back half of this first scene feels kind of oddly paced, like it's rushed, which is odd to me considering the scene didn't hold back on dumping as much stuff on me as possible just a few minutes ago. Very strange scene, seems to only have one purpose, which I'll get back to later.

So, flash forward 30 years to something dramatically different in aesthetic and vibe, of course. We're in space. We're gritty, we're militaristic, of course. There's an evil fucking orb of fire flying towards the Earth at top speed. Things aren't looking great.

The president, a man with eyes of a frightening shade, is black! This is not plot relevant, but I find the tendency of movies from this period to feature black presidents far before Obama's term to be really interesting. Is this social commentary? A thoughtful statement about how fantastical the idea of a black man in office is to the average American? I will never know. I really like this character, he's a fun guy. He has more personality than most president characters do, probably due to him being on an awesome spaceship with a team of nodding yes-men in a delightfully Star Trek-esque uniform. I like him a lot. He's my boy.

This is the same scene where we get introduced to Vito Cornelius, a priest who appears to be Catholic because he does the sign of the cross later in the movie, even though I definitely assumed he was some weird member of the church of the Fifth Element or something.

Cornelius is here to suggest that the ball of fire is sentient and evil, and that the president shouldn't shoot it with missiles, because it's so sentient and evil that it'll get even sentienter and eviler. Of course, the president disregards this warning, because that's what movie presidents do to random old men in robes.

From this blunder comes one of the many incredibly hard lines in this movie. Where Mr. President tells Staedert, his military commander, "I have a doubt." and Staedert replies "I don't, Mister President" and then presses the fire button on the huge gigantic missiles. It's awesome, only slightly undercut by the fact that it doesn't work and Staedert and his crew get fucking obliterated right after. By the evil sentient ball which shoots out a flare of flames that has an evil spooky skull in it. That's not a joke at all, that seriously happens in this scene. I laughed.

Now we smash cut to Bruce Willis. He's Korben Dallas, this sort of gritty ex-military guy with a very cute cat. I love this cat. She is an adorable, slightly cross eyed white longhair. It's honestly a tragedy and a waste that she was only in like two scenes. She should have been ever-present, fitted with Air Bud esque mouth animation so she could act as Bruce Willis' voice of reason throughout the film.

Korben Dallas is trying to quit smoking. He's a cab driver who's dogshit at driving his cab and is mere seconds away from losing his license. He is, and I quote, "Still stuck on that two-timing slut." He wants a perfect woman. There are about two Chekov's guns in that last block of text.

He opens his first scene with us in what I can only describe as the sluttiest most hot and sweaty chest binder I've ever seen. And a pair of tight belted leather boots that it really seems like he fell asleep wearing.

And then he gets mugged by a guy, presumably so they can show us how much he knows about guns, and that he has been mugged enough that he now has a secret shelf that is just completely full of guns. Hilarious. I love this bit. It's not even relevant, I just loved it.

Okay so the evil sentient ball of fire. We didn't forget about that. This scene is one that confused me really badly during my rewatch. Here, Cornelius explains in full detail and in much less vague terms than before what the Fifth Element does and why they need it to save Earth from this evil ball of fire. This scene renders most of the in-narrative purpose of the first scene moot. The only reason it now exists (other than some background stuff that could probably have been introduced in a less odd way) is to address a more meta issue, which I'll get to later. But while I was watching it, I couldn't help but think "Well... then what the hell were we doing in the desert with Luke Perry?"

In this scene, we get to see the Mondoshawans again for the final time, so we can introduce the bad guy aliens, the Mangalores. They jack the stones (the elements) from the Mondoshawan ship and blow them up.

I thought this scene was supposed to set up the stereotypical "military incompetent" idea that's often present in this type of sci fi, but the president honestly makes mostly good decisions that don't make him feel like a bumbling idiot once through the entire movie. Honestly, he's kind of cool. I like him.

Okay, now that the Mangalores have been tragically exploded, we get the vehicle towards one of our main characters. Using a saved body part from the Mangalores and some utterly and delighfully made up genetic scienceology, we recreated the perfect genes of some alien into... a skinny white girl with the orangest hair I've ever seen. This scene features one of the only costuming choices in the movie that I truly hate. Leeloo's weird strap undies (and subsequent inability to wear normal pants, but mostly these strap undies?). I just hate it. Why is it here. It's not even that sexy looking. She looks like a ham in an asylum.

The set design in this movie is also delightfully Whovian and Star-Trek-ish. Tinfoil walls, lava lamp type sensibilities. The costumes are camp the set is camp, everything is camp. It's an absolute whale. The costumes the policemen wear while chasing runaway Leeloo are just hilarious. Many fantastic choices made all around, except for those fucking weird underpants.

Some of the sci-fi concepts in this movie FEEL overplayed and hammed up, and then I remember that it was released when a lot of this stuff was new and in-vogue, and it becomes an interesting exercise in perspective. Maybe they were pioneers, what do I know? I'm having an absolute ball.

Okay, so Leeloo falls directly through the roof of Korben Dallas' cab, and before you say anything, I do have many choice words throughout this recap/review about the infamous trope borne of this movie, "Born Sexy Yesterday," and I am aware of its existence. These opinions are sprinkled throughout alongside my others.

So Bruce Willis seems to be a big fan of this strange woman who, especially in this scene, acts very childlike. Korben's interest doesn't really read as creepy in this scene, until later when he randomly assaults her. You know, like a creep would do. I digress.

Leeloo knows how to read Roman lettering, and while I understand this choice in this scene, I do think it doesn't make sense and kills a little bit of world building. Whatever. Language guy complaining about language stuff.

Speaking of world building, there are a lot of worldbuilding things conveyed visually and through dialog in this movie that arent ham-fisted exposition vomit, and I am very fond of them. The hitch inside the rear door of Dallas' cab, saying Leeloo "doesn't have a file," the Fog? That is never explained? This world has some suggestion of richness and intrigue that I love to see from sci-fi. They waste no time painting "THIS IS THE POINT" with big red letters, because it's just setdressing, and I think that ultimately makes these details really sing.

I love the dialog and energy in the high speed chase scene, the vertical train, the Fog??? The way this movie doesn't need to explain itself. Until it does explain itself. Blatantly. And then I get sad.

In a lot of ways, I think this movie's actual plot is the least interesting part of it. More on this later.

It also *really* seems like this movie was sponsored by McDonald's.

A nearly unconscious Leeloo begs Korben Dallas to take her to Cornelius, before passing out with such cartoonish vigor that I originally thought she was kidding.

So Korben takes Leeloo to Cornelius' apartment, getting originally turned away for being mistaken for newlyweds (barf). Instead of knocking again, he just kicks down the door. Cornelius realizes due to a tattoo on her inner wrist that she's the Fifth Element (!) and passes out. Korben places her on the couch.

Now, I don't really understand why Korben Dallas chooses to sexually assault Leeloo by kissing her while she's unconscious in this scene. It not only feels gross, it also feels kind of unprecedented. They've met once, had approximately the amount of chemistry you'd expect, and then she passed out. Maybe in the 90's this felt spontaneous and romantic, but to me it just feels like he did it for no reason. I wish she had actually shot him. Thankfully, her outburst of rage at this momentarily makes her feel a little less like a literal grade-schooler, a much needed respite.

Milla Jovovich does what I think is a pretty good job at keeping her pronunciation of the divine language consistent throughout the scenes where she speaks it. She's Ukranian-American, but I have no idea if she's bilingual or had an accent coach or something. Either way, well done Ms. Jovovich!

Anyway, Cornelius walks in having suddenly changed into these silly ass robes, a great sight gag, and kicks Korben out of the room, but not before he reveals that the words that Leeloo yelled at Korben meant "never without my permission," which really made me wish she had shot him *twice*.

The scene where Korben talks to his friend, Finger, about Leeloo was clearly supposed to be romantic, I'm sure. It actually makes him look like a freak. I hated him for much of this movie.

Now, Back to the Mangalores. The Mangalores are a warrior race who have been hired by the big evil of this movie-- Gary Oldman. For some reason, they decided to make him southern. Not that I'm really complaining, but characters in this movie seem to have accents for no reason, and I really love it.

I love Gary Oldman in this movie. His character, Zorg, is fitted with one of the most ridiculous wardrobes of the entire cast. He has this odd plastic cap on his head, a flaccid mohawk, and the filthiest facial hair possible (a soul patch). He is fucking awesome. I love Zorg.

Spliced between parts of this arms deal, we learn that the stones aren't in the case. Leeloo tells Cornelius that in case they were stolen, the stones were given to someone trusted by the Mondoshawans, but not before changing clothes in front of him and his apprentice. I swear, she does this like three times in this movie.

The cut back to Leeloo in this scene right after Zorg realizes the box is empty is really well done. Effective, funny, punchy. She laughs like a freak, it's great.

There's a bit of dialog Zorg has with his right hand man right after this failed arms deal where he talks about his philosophy around warriors and why he prefers killers. I love this bit. The way he just coldly leaves them with a bomb built into his holy-overkill-gun is hard as shit, and it gives us a nice insight into our villain in the first scene he's in. I like it. I like Zorg.

Speaking of Zorg, we get a proper introduction to him just after. Here is one of the most interesting scenes in this film, where we get some insight about Zorg and Cornelius' respective opinions on life and death.

The interesting thing about this scene is that I kind of agree with Zorg, his saying that death exists to create life for the living, ostensibly feeding the cycle of life and progress. Regardless, he is painted as stupid when Cornelius has to rescue him from choking on a cherry.

And why the hell would you ever put a whole cherry in a glass of water? You're basically asking to choke to death. And Cornelius has a point, why don't you, a guy who has a special button to unearth his bizarre elephantine freak creature from the secret drawer in your desk, have a special robot to smack you on the back when you're choking? *Especially* when you do dumb shit like putting whole pit-in cherries in your glasses of water? Answer me that, Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg.

Actually, I don't know how this bit is supposed to disprove Zorg's point. All it really proves is that people need each other sometimes, which has nothing to do with what Zorg was actually saying to Cornelius here. Now, we could argue that it goes against the way that he executes this philosophy, which is true, being that he is a weird freaky villain who has henchmen, but I don't want to argue that. Because the fact that they have this strange sum-zero philosophical argument where they're ostensibly not even talking to each other is way funnier.

Right after this there's a bit where he sends his right hand man to literally bug the space-oval office. As in, it's a cockroach with a little camera and microphone on it. This bit is super funny. No thematic relevance, I just loved watching the president fucking cream the roach with his shoe while Zorg's henchman writhed in pain from the mic feedback.

The next important scene, by which I mean the next scene, starts with a healthy serving of "Sci-Fi setting that is weird about Asian people." Get behind me, Mr. Kim, this movie doesn't respect you enough.

Anyway, Korben's hilariously young adult-sounding mother calls him on the phone to bitch at him insanely about how he never calls and gives us a key piece of information-- Korben has won an all expenses paid trip to Fhloston Paradise! This coincidentally is where Leeloo told Cornelius the person with the stones was. This contest was actually alluded to on Korben's television in his first scene as well. This movie is very, *very* good at setup-payoff. Lots of domino situations.

Korben professional-improvs his way out of a police confrontation (organized by Zorg) just to get walloped over the head by Cornelius, who intends to steal his tickets so he and Leeloo can save planet Earth. In the process, he also puts his former superior officer in a freezer. Everyone wants Korben's sweet sweet bod in this scene. It's really something.

There's a couple of details about Korben's character and his relationship with Leeloo in this scene that jumped out at me, and I will be addressing them alongside the others of their ilk later in this review.

Cornelius hatches a plan to make his apprentice David impersonate Korben so they can get to Fhloston. It doesn't work, of course, because this movie chose to represent being knocked out the most realistically I've ever seen in a blockbuster flick. Korben is only down for the count for a second or two, which means he caught up with them and pulled some more startlingly effective improvisation out of his ass to get on this flight with Leeloo. It's really remarkable how good this ex military guy is at improv. Get his ass behind a mic. Get Korben on Whose Zorg is it Anyway, and pay me royalties.

I have a note here that just says "Everyone in this movie wears what I can only describe as rave wear. It's pretty hilarious." I have nothing to add. That's accurate.

So they're boarding this flight, right? And here's a real doozy. 1 out of 2 of my impassioned rants on one specific character in this movie who we meet in this scene. Ruby Rhod. Ruby ffffucking Rhod.

I actually *need* to talk about this guy. He is like the Prince of outer space. His scenes where he does his talk show are mesmerizing, zany, all over the place. I felt like I was having a nightmare. He's fascinating, fabulous, flamboyant, some other f word that I'm choosing not to say right now. His use of "green" to mean "good" is just perfect. Korben's completely dodgy and stiff responses are honestly the perfect contrast to Ruby in this scene. They're foils. This scene has captivated me. Ruby prowls around while tiger growling noises play in the background and flirts with this random stewardess ON AIR, inches from her face with the mic separating their mouths, promising to have sex with her later. ON AIR. It's implied that this is a normal thing that is acceptable on his show.

Ruby also has a whole gang of yes men, all of which are only slightly less flamboyantly homosexual than he is, but still feel more explicitly homosexual than Ruby, who has sex with as many women as he can possibly manage, which seems to be many, because every woman who mentions his name in this movie appears to cream their pants if he so much as breathes near them. That girl he flirted with? She moaned and collapsed on the floor right after.

The scene after the show, where Korben Dallas pins Ruby to the wall and threatens him, would have been beautifully compelling if Korben Dallas was a butch lesbian. This is the furthest thing from thoughtful character analysis, I just would have liked it more.

It's implied in the following scene that Ruby has only ever really wanted to fuck aliens before meeting this random stewardess, and we get to watch a very cleverly compiled set of scenes from wildly different locales that all fit together. Ruby having sex with this stewardess, the ship taking off, and Zorg blowing up his right hand man for failing him. They also use the Wilhelm scream in this scene, but given that the movie was made in the late 90's this is par for the course, and is really much more tasteful than usual.

For some reason, rasta(?) music is playing. There is a vaguely rastafarian man in this scene, but only for around 12 seconds. The use of regionally and culturally specific music in this movie that has no bearing on the actual space the characters inhabit is absolutely fascinating to me. There was some music earlier, playing in sci-fi New York, that I swear used a Raga scale. All the music is very good, good job Éric Serra.

After Zorg finishes exploding his frankly very competent right hand man, we get a scene where we discover that he's after the stones because some man he's working for, Mr. Shadow, wants them. Zorg is the main antagonist for most of this movie. Mr. Shadow never comes back again, and we do not need him. All he really serves to do is to make Zorg look more pathetic and give him an excuse to be more desperate when he can't get his hands on the stones, which, while fine, I think the movie could have gotten away with just having Zorg being a dramatic villain who freaks out when he doesn't get his way without this bit. Not egregious, but not really a necessary scene.

Okay, I have a big question. Why is Fhloston paradise Hawaii? It just *is* Hawaii. Did Hawaii escape to a separate planet at some point? Good for them, except that Fhloston is still a crazy tourist spot full of annoying white people, so not really. This is just Super Mega Hell 2 for Hawaiians. The song they sing in the first Fhloston scene is really good, though. Thanks, Éric.

On the topic of Fhloston, I really love the use of color in the set. Given the way the rest of this movie is, it's possible that it's more for visual contrast and not theming, but there is a scene during the opera performance that switches between complements, and the visual contrast is, well, good.

Speaking of the opera, Korben has front row seats, and its 5pm. You know what that means.

It's fucking Ruby Rhod time, baby! Ruby is back in black, in the most fantastic costume in this entire movie. Despite it showing off his entire clavicle (no exaggeration), it manages to get more and more revealing as this scene plays out. This bit where he asks Korben if he's happy with being on Fhloston in his usual over the top, loud, flamboyant way and Korben looks into his eyes, leans into the mic, and says "Thrilled" drolly is a short interaction so packed with sexual tension that I can't even argue for it without just telling you to watch the scene. This is their only interaction that really FEELS like gay sex, and it made my jaw go slack for a couple of seconds, even as the movie immediately moved on to the much more important opera segment.

Speaking of the opera, for real this time, I have one complaint. It's an annoying complaint that nobody ever wants to hear, but I'm saying it anyway because that's what I'm here to do: Diva is *not* singing. Now, maybe in some later movie review we can learn my detailed opinions on live recordings of singing performances in film (short version: I don't think they should happen, and I hate them) my main complaint is mostly that Diva's actress is just not very good at *pretending* to sing, much less opera. She doesn't pretend to breathe, doesn't try to move her mouth with the incredibly strong vibrato (understandable to some extent) but most of all, her mouth shapes just aren't right. I can concretely point to certain mouth shapes and say "that's not the shape her mouth should be when singing that vowel," it's obvious enough that I can do that. Granted, I have some experience in singing on stage, so maybe that's just my personal annoying musician experience speaking, but it was really noticeable to me. Okay, annoying complaint over, now I can say nice things

This opera, Lucia di Lammermoor with a poppy remix track towards the end, is ridiculously well performed. Diva's vocalist, Inva Mula, does a stunning job at both the formal and informal portions of this song. It's actually amazing how little of her voice had to be computer edited to sound more "alien," it's only done like twice in the portion that it's done at all, and the rest is pretty clearly just her. She really knocks it out of the park here.

The movie does something interesting here that I really enjoyed, where they periodically show us different characters reactions to this opera. Mostly Korben and Leeloo. I want to focus on Korben, who looks at Diva like this is the first time he's ever been moved in his life. Seriously, his eyes are wet and shining with unshed tears and I really mean that. Right when we get this poignant reaction out of Korben, the pop track starts playing and the somber moment abruptly ends, which is kind of what it's like watching this movie, or clicking on a Read More and discovering a film review that is easily over 5k words.

This movie has a great penchant for match cuts. Actually, most of the transition and shot choices made in this movie are really top of the line. They're all punchy, sharp, playful, to the point. Fantastic cinematographic choices, guys.

Diva finishes her performance right after Leeloo finishes fighting Zorg by getting shot at while up in an air duct. The opera is then laid siege by the Mangalores, who brutally murder Diva. This is sad for me, because I wanted her and Leeloo to be friends, and for Korben Dallas, who just felt the strongest emotion he's ever experienced thanks to her.

Ruby, of course, continues reporting on his talk show throughout the assault, because he's a goddamn professional. He also spends the next scene and a half shrieking in fear.

The reveal that the stones are literally inside Diva's body not only makes me watch one of the more disgusting scenes in this movie, it also makes me wonder-- Was Leeloo just supposed to kill her? Also, how did they get in there? Many questions and no answers, because we aren't here to fuck around.

While Diva is giving Korben this weird spiel about how Leeloo needs him and his love to survive, there's this brief cut to Leeloo, bleeding in the air vent. This cut is an absolute pang to the gut. She sits, curled up, alone, sobbing painfully with a bullet wound in her leg. She looks small, helpless, childlike in this brief scene. It was so impactful to me that it just made me angry about the way Korben and Leeloo's relationship in this movie is executed. This is another "get back to it later" thing.

For the rest of this "getting shot up by Mangalores" scene, Ruby Rhod is cowering and sniffling and screaming for Korben to help him. It's honestly like this for the rest of the movie. They're just friends now. It's awesome. I love this guy. He accidentally shoots a guy in the head and then asks Korben "You think he'll be okay?" He's the best character in this movie.

We get one of Korben's final fantastic moments of improv in this scene. It's around this point, during the "negotiation" scene, that I realized that the problem with this movie is that the best parts of it are the parts that aren't about the two characters who I'm supposed to care about the relationship between.

This scene, where Korben gets in a fighter jet, says it's just like driving a cab (a contrast from his conversation with Finger in his first scene, where he says driving a cab is easy because he isn't driving a jet) and then blows a fucking hole in the airlock and guns it out of the Fhloston ship, is so fucking cool. I'm a very simple man. It was awesome. One question, does Korben have some kind of allergy to reminding people to put seatbelts on? This is the second time he's just allowed his passengers to fly around the cabin while he drives recklessly.

Ruby's show ends at 7pm, when he tiredly proclaims that it's the best show he's ever done. I was thinking the same thing. In fact, Mr. Rhod, I really think you should hire Korben. There, now he has a new job.

Right here is where I'm going to address one of my main points (gripes) about this movie. Yes, I know, over 5k words in.

This part of the scene, where Leeloo has her weird crisis of faith about the evil of the human race, learns about war and concludes that humans aren't worth saving, falls flat to me. Sure, it feels over-played, but ultimately the problem is just that it's not done well, much like the rest of her characterization. Leeloo's depiction as being naive and childlike, which honestly only holds because she doesn't really speak fluent English, holds back her character because of the movies comphet insistence that her and Korben be romantically involved. A narrative where Leeloo, naive and unfamiliar, Leeloo, who needs other people, who sobs painfully alone in an airvent, who needs to be dried off with a towel after getting soaked with water, is actually a child, would be more compelling. And her not being able to reconcile with the evils of humanity would also have felt more convincing if she was literally a child. Like, of *course* she can't see the situation with any nuance, she's a kid. A narrative where Leeloo and Korben's dynamic is more familial would be more interesting, and honestly the way she's characterized already lends itself so perfectly to this narrative that there were points where I got actually upset that the movie refused to go that direction.

I'll go ahead and talk about Korben's character here as well. Korben is a refreshing detraction from the classic grizzled tough guy trope that we tend to see in action movies. Whether this is a result of 90's zeitgeist or just the writer's own preferences, I don't know, but I noticed it. I was expecting Korben Dallas to be a sort of obnoxious, emotionally stunted brick wall of a guy-- but he isn't, really. Korben is quick on his feet, improvisational, messy, and sure he's genius with a gun, but he's also *nice*. He's nice in a distinctly not "Grizzled emotionally stunted guy" way. When he accidentally gets Leeloo soaking wet, he gets her a towel at warp speed, apologizes up and down in a much softer tone than he ever uses for anything else. I thought at first "of course, because he likes her," but then-- Then! When he discovers that he's accidentally plastic-wrapped Cornelius, he rips the plastic and apologizes-- in the same sort of tone. He adapts his approach to the Mangalore barrage in the cruise ship to Ruby Rhod, never complains about Ruby being a nuisance or being in his way, just brings him along and asks him to help out. I honestly really like Korben Dallas. Which is why, upon reflecting on earlier scenes in this movie, it really irritates me that he just kisses Leeloo for no reason, or even that he's in love with her at all.

That scene I mentioned, where Korben dries her off, or even as early as the cab scene where she's talking animatedly to him in the divine language and we get the "bada boom" dialog, just oozes a kind of gentleness and care that doesn't speak satisfactorily to romance or sex. Leeloo, this childlike character, and Korben, this gentle man who happens to be great with guns, don't feel like husband and wife. They don't feel like sexual partners. He feels like her father. That moment with the shower soured the rest of their dynamic for me during my rewatch, because I kept thinking about how much better it could be. That dynamic, as I've already said, would have been deeply compelling, especially given the final reveal of the movie.

Now that we've escaped Fhloston, we've headed back to the temple in Egypt. This is that meta function of the first scene I said I'd address-- without it, there is no sense of a sort of circular journey the film takes. The film establishing this temple *is* important, because otherwise this scene where we return to it just wouldn't land as well. That said, I do still think the first scene is a little odd and clunky. Then again, so is much of this movie, and it's still a good scene.

Our characters spend a frustratingly long time decoding a "riddle" that Leeloo tells Korben, one which was so simple that I was yelling at my laptop the first time I watched it. We get another very gratifying and subtle payoff from an earlier scene where we see Korben has only one match left, which he needs for the fire stone. Earlier, we see him subtly take his penultimate match from the box. This movie's Chekov game is crazy.

Much like this review, Leeloo says something that feels deeply substantial nearly 2 hours into a 2 hour long movie. She says "I don't know love. I was made to protect, not to love. There is no use for me other than this."

This line is so compelling to me. It's the most CHARACTER I've seen from her in the whole movie, and its 2 hours in. We do not get to explore it.

You might have noticed, based on this line, what the Fifth Element actually is. What Leeloo needs in order to activate her Element and shoot the big fuckoff laser into the evil fire ball.

Its ~Love~.

This is, of course, ridiculously corny and requires them to kiss nasty on the mouth for longer than I would have liked to see (Of course, I would have like to not see it at all).

I don't actually mind this conclusion or the theming. It's silly, but so is the whole movie. But you might, like me, see an issue here.

If we had approached this movie the way I so desperately craved, made their dynamic more familial, made Leeloo a child and given Korben a new weird alien daughter, this conclusion would have been leagues more powerful.

Not only would it be a unique approach to what is usually a very hetero and sexual genre, it would have given a much more gratifying conclusion to Korben's character arc. At the beginning of his arc, Korben talks about how he's looking for a perfect woman after his wife left him. In the movie, Korben just... *gets* the perfect woman. He gets exactly what he wanted and he learns nothing. If Korben instead had to reckon with this new facet of his life and identity, had to reconcile with being thrust into quasi-fatherhood, he might actually have deigned to, you know, *develop* as a character. He would have *learned* something. I'm not saying every single character in the movie has to learn something, but the main goddamn character probably should, right?

But since it's an ~adult movie~ for ~grown ups~, we can't tell compelling family narratives, and the movie has to end with them having sex in a reactor pod. I hate that. I hated that conclusion and my least favorite part of this movie was its main conceit, which was genuinely tragic given how enjoyable I found the rest of the film.

So, I'll leave you with this.

The Fifth Element (1997) is a *good* movie. It's incredibly fun, zany, raunchy, and lively. The music is very good, the costuming and set design is whimsical and fantastic. It's a little weird about Asians. It birthed one of the worst cinema tropes ever invented, and it didn't even have to, because the movie would have been really, deeply beautiful if it hadn't.

And Korben Dallas should have been a butch lesbian.

Actually, I'll leave you by saying that the song that plays in the credits of this movie is really good. "Little Light of Love," it's called. I'm going to link it so you can experience it, too.

[point-8]

SAY IT! FEAT:diluc, kaeya and zhongli

DILUC

okay...he doesn't get it

he goes through all 5 stages of grief before you tell him that it was just a prank

he thinks pranks are pointless

didn't find it funny 🥲 "are you working in the tavern tonight luc'?" you were both getting ready, it was your day off so you were still in bed, having plans on returning to sleep once he left. diluc was in his base layer of clothing, a simple white collared shirt, and some black pants. "i should be...so ill be home late. don't stay up" diluc was now moving onto the second layer of his work attire, a dark vest with gold-color buttons. "wasn't planning on it, plus i might go have dinner with a friend tonight, so ill be in town if you need me tonight." he looked so handsome in the full-size mirror buttoning up the vest as he stole glances back at you. and soon enough you crashed back into the soft duvet and tried to get back to sleep "darling ill be off, i love you." he walked over to the bed, expecting a groggy 'i love you too' , but he heard nothing. diluc knew you were awake, nobody could fall asleep that fast. seeing your slight smile, he knew you were up to something. "i love you?" he tried to lightly shake you, seeing if you were just half-asleep and couldn't respond. but instead of an 'i love you too' he just got a little laughter "what's so funny? do you not return my feelings anymore?" "you really can't take a prank luc'?!" you sat up from bed, wrapping your arms around him "of course i love you too, how could i not?" you just heard him huff which, in turn, made you smile a bit "you're getting too much like kaeya" you heard him quietly grumble, but you knew he couldn't stay mad at you for long.

KAEYA

he'll just do it back to you

he knows it's a prank, you're a little to obvious

kaeya always knows ways for him to get back at you, if thats making you pay or just doing the same thing to you, he will always get you back "tonight was really fun kaeya, thank you!" you two were walking hand-in-hand back to the shared house. it was overall a great night, kaeya took you to dinner and then walked you around mondstat, showing you secret places only knights knew about. "of course it was, you spent it with me." with a slight chuckle, he grabbed you closer as you walked up the steps and unlocked the door "god..im so tired" kaeya groaned and whined as he crashed on the couch to catch his breath and rest his eyes. "im gonna get changed ok?" you went down and kissed his forehead as the bluenette hummed in agreement. and five minutes later, you hear footsteps making their way up the stairs. not even caring to shower. he just stripped down to his boxers and jumped into bed with you. "you're disgusting." you slightly pushed his head away "but you still love me, don't you?" he managed to get closer to your face and pulled your cheeks, cooing at you "kaeya im not a baby, stop" you swat his hands away and got back into your former position to fall asleep. "well in that case, i love you darling see you in the morning." he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, resting his head in the corner of your neck. "i said i love you." he grumbled, you could tell he was tired too "i don't love people who smell" "fine then, i don't love bitches." you let out a gasp as he took his hands off you and rolled to the other side of the bed, leaving you slightly cold. "god.. fine kaeya i love you too." now it was your turn to deal with his bullshit, and he wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

ZHONGLI

someone please help him

you have to walk him through every single joke you make

this man has some accent ass humor tf

he would take it to heart if you don't say you love him (please make him feel better rn) stirring from your sleep, you heard footsteps, doors opening and closing, and running water. you never knew why zhongli got up so early, it was just a habit. it's not like you minded, at this hour anyone could fall asleep so easily. checking the clock above the dresser. the hands pointed to 4 and 9...it was 4:45 you groaned and tucked your head back under the blankets as you heard the water turn off and zongli enter the room again. "did i wake you?" "no no" you answered from under the blankets, voice groggy since it hadn't been used in a few hours "just woke up on accident, you keep doing what you were doing." "well, in that case, would you like to go on a walk with me this morning? it's lovely outside. all the flowers are blooming" the thought of even moving seemed miserable "it's good for health, it gets blood moving-" "maybe later?" you were already getting ready to head back to sleep. and going on a walk with him was a death trap, all he would do is take loops around and tell you every memory that happened. "well then. ill be on my way darling, i love you" he walked over and pushed your hair back to give you a kiss. then just waited above you. "what?" you said, opening your eyes to look at him, stifling a burst of laughter "have your feelings gone away for me y.n? you usually say i love you back. have i done something to upse-" "zhongli...it was a prank" "how is that a prank? you just sounded like i've made you upset." "it's funny though." "no it's not" "ok dear, i love you too" you took him into a big hug to wish him off, also as an apology. but once that door was closed, you busted out laughing. zhongli might've been one of the densest men you've ever met in your whole life. but it was also cute.

HELP BRO I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE A MONTH PLEASE FORGIVE ME anws school is almost out (kms) if anyone has any requests pleaasssseee send them in im running out of ideas😭

[realm-of-rosie]

💭 three's a crowd !!

i. genshin impact [ ajax, heizou, diluc and your furry, four-legged friend ]

ii. fluff + scenarios

iii. blog rules | masterlist

[ ajax ]

"aw, come on babe," childe whines, hands gripping the blockade and itching to remove it but under your stern stare, all he could do was look longingly at the siberian husky on the other side, "look at her!"

"she ripped apart our rug, ajax," you huff angrily as you vacuum the bits of thread and cloth scattered in your shared living room, "and she'll continue to destroy our things if she isn't disciplined,"

"you don't even like that rug! it was ugly and it was from those godparents you don't like,"

"that doesn't mean she can go around destroying my things, childe, we bought her a chew toy for a reason,"

"but she's just a baby," he pouts and you almost caved, almost.

you raise your eyebrow.

"well, if she's such a baby, would you like to stay out on the balcony with her for tonight so you can take care of her? because that could totally be arranged,"

"you wouldn't!" the ginger gasps with full offense.

"oh, wouldn't i?" you challenge.

"hehe, i was just kidding babe! all jokes!"

[ heizou ]

"heizou!" you call out nervously, eyes flickering left and right trying to catch a glimpse of a grey tail speeding by you, even peeking your head into the rooms of your humble abode in case it disppeared inside one as soon you turn your head and eventually entering the room your boyfriend sat calmly, thumbing through a case file and mumbling to himself.

"where is she?"

"hm?" heizou's head lifts to glance at you for a split second before lowering again and you could have sworn you saw the sides of his mouth turn upwards but you didn't have time to speculate what the man could possibly be up to this time, only re-asking your question.

"where's who? darling i am not hiding a woman in my office,"

"that is not what i mean and you know it," you whine, hands on your hips, "i meant that beast you brought home when you thought I wasn't going to be home, it's time for her bath -"

you pause at the slight movement under one of the blankets heizou kept in his office (at your insistence as winter was starting to pass by inazuma), "what was that?"

"what was what?" heizou chirps before putting his papers down to properly look at you with an expression of pure innocence.

faux innocence, you think to yourself with a cross of your arm and an internal eye roll, "hiding her is only delaying the inevitable, hand her over,"

"who?"

"heizou, would you like to sleep in the couch with her tonight?" you ask sweetly.

he nervously chuckles, "i'd really rather not,"

"so hand her over,"

there's a staredown between you two which ended as soon as your head tilts to the side, eyes daring him to do something stupid and he sighs, lifting the blanket to reveal the little grey puppy underneath and he picks her up so her eyes meet his, "i am so sorry i failed you, but you have no choice now," heizou inhales deeply, "it is your bath time,"

[ diluc ]

"hey, diluc i'm -" you stop yourself mid-sentence, fighting the urge to grin widely and keeping the teasing i told you so locked in the back of your throat, so instead you clear your throat, "i'm leaving for my meeting with the traveller,"

"oh, was that today?" he asks, looking less (or more, you weren't sure yet) menacing sat at his desk, one hand still gloved scribbling away at a stack of papers while the other, now ungloved, affectionately stroked the head of a purring kitten. the very same one he stared at judgingly when it curled up next to you on your shared bed effectively put space between the both of you (diluc was not pleased).

"yeah, are you going to be alright on your own?" you smirk with crossed arms and leaning against the door frame.

"of course i will," diluc says, sounding almost confused as to why you would ask him that.

"alone with the bane of your existence?"

"whatever do you mean? my brother isn't here, is he?"

"i meant the cat, 'luc," you laugh, "yesterday you were trying to close the door on him so he wouldn't hog your space on the bed, and now he's on your work table and you certainly don't seem to mind him,"

"he's growing on me," diluc shrugs, capping his ink bottle and carefully laying his pen on the side before hoisting the kitten into his arms, "now if you don't mind, i have to go ensure he eats his brunch, take care on your trip my love and do be careful,"

"aren't you forgetting something?" you ask in between giggles when your boyfriend walks past you.

he stops and looks at you, thinking for a moment and diluc's eyes light up before he walks back and kisses you tenderly.

"i told you you'd like him eventually," you mumble against his lips.

"and once again, you were right, so please there is no reason for you to say -"

"i told you so,"

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "attached" and ds9's "necessary evil." *i am typing this at fuck o clock it will go up when im at work

attached (tng):

ok, the premise of this is basically every spirk fic ever, right...? "ooh, we accidentally have a telepathic connection and our feelings are revealed"

to get this out of the way, i like how much worf e riker e deanna was in the b-plot of this, even just circumstantially (i missed data though). i also think riker finally getting fed up with the aliens and giving them shit was really funny. riker is never mean to ANYBODY. i'm also glad he was relatively chill about picard being missing for once lol. like, in NO way were these assholes ready to enter the federation. not to agree with picard, but PART of a world can't enter. if you haven't mastered world peace you can't sit with us etc etc. not that i'm fully buying the propaganda of the federation as the ultimate good or that earth does somehow have world peace but whatever. even i know these guys weren't ready. what a fucking joke

frankly stunned this didn't lead to discussion about the affair baby wesley crusher. yes i know picard said he would never act on it. i don't care about that. i KNOW these people have had an affair baby. they're the type. he would knock her up and leave her high and dry. it's the kind of man he is. don't tell me there's no affair baby. i know what i know. there IS an affair baby!! i will die on this hill

actually, even though i dislike picard, i think sir patrick stewart is a v talented actor and i DO like him. i also really like beverly, so they managed to be charming a couple of times in this episode, mostly when they had a thought we couldn't hear and then started snickering about it

that said, i have no respect at all for jean-luc. the campfire conversation sucked. beverly was DEEPLY flattered and also in a little bit of a vulnerable position and he WAS LYING when he said he didn't feel that way anymore bc he tried to hit her up at the end of the episode. a man would have HELD HER, jean-luc. i would have held her. beverly crusher i would treat you so much better

this is insane bc i don't even have a crush on beverly. like genuinely. i only talk like this about sophie devereaux and brit marling characters. i just think it's outrageous her man doesn't treat her better. i almost had a fit when it came out he didn't like the breakfasts until beverly responded in kind also lol her saying croissant w the french accent

them getting sick when they split up was really funny. jean-luc, time to ruthlessly experience morning sickness. this is how it was after you left her high and dry post affair baby conception

the bait and switch at the end fucking killed me i love beverly making him ask and then turning him down GOOD FOR HER but i have no idea what motivated the entire thing. like, was the goal to get them together before the series ended? ok, why keep them apart? why show her pushing him through to safety at the expense of her own if she was gonna turn him down? why was she giving dtf vibes there at the end? like i was YELLING at him to go to her and then he did and she was like "actually nah." which was FUNNY and again good for her but what the fuck? i thought she wanted him. i just want her to be happy.

necessary evil (ds9):

OHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDD

i knew going in that this was an odo episode but AN ODO AND KIRA EPISODE??? swoon. oh my god she was the first person to give him his little constable nickname. HURL. KILL MEEEEE

actually, odo/kira and odo/quark people were BOTH getting fed during this ep. odo like yeah idc about quark but im gonna solve this murder case w extreme prejudice. i like both so i had a great time

every single mention of odo's dehumanization in the past makes me HOMICIDAL please treat him really niceys. i would kind of like to know what the cardassian neck trick is though. just not from odo

"i dont drink" fuckin hilarious. i think odo should shapeshift himself a digestive system so he can try food. um one that can digest stuff in 16 hours i guess or it would all just fall out when he gooped again. we tossed around the idea of chewing gum, since you just spit that back out eventually. but does he even have tastebuds, or just the approximation of them? his other senses seem to work ok........

the window in this acted SO sketchy like she was fake crying at her third dead husbands funeral after she just inherited a zillion dollars but she literally was innocent. she pointed at kira and was like girl she did it and we're like NO kira's innocent! and then kira is literally not innocent but shady sketchy widow is. incredible

kira with long hair my beloved. i would hate it if she had long hair in present day but it's perfect for past kira

ds9 looks SO BAD in the past. to have children running around and playing in it now is insane. you can really feel the difference between the cardassian occupation and Now so well in this episode, it's as striking to us as it would be to kira and odo

ohhh my god kira and odo. "will you ever trust me again" he's not even mad she killed that guy just mad that she lied about it. AUGHGHGHG

but when kira did something shady it was for a good cause. when odo was being shady he was indirectly working for the fucking cardassians. "choose a side" so true but he eventually chose kira's <3

i love deeply that he didn't try to fuck her. like it genuinely didn't even occur to him. ace king.

40s mystery style of this was so fun. odo narration is so funny bc like he doesnt wanna do it and his log is just one sentence bc he thinks its fucking stupid and then by the end of the ep hes like man am i supposed to be usign this thing as a diary?? girl dont worry about it james t kirk did the same fucking thing

final note: rom in this episode was amazing. i've never really given him more than a passing thought before this but him secretly being a fucking amazing thief was truly fantastic. sisko and odo good cop bad copping him was really funny too especially when you remember his son and sisko's son are besties. i would still rank the ferengi as my least favorite ds9 characters but i was pleasantly surprised with how often i laughed

TONIGHT: tng's "forces of nature" which sounds like. its gonna make me mad lol

[eliasiis]

SINCE REQUESTS ARE OPEN ragbros with Lee Kaeya please-

oh my god this was so fun to write. first of all i am SO ler for kaeya like it's crazy. secondly. writing ragbros is so fun their dynamic if they were friends again is so fun to think about i love to read like... different interpretations of ragbros friendships but i stand by a mutual friendship of teasy bickering ok its just. chefs kiss mwah

reunited

ragbros <333

word count: 1.4k

It hasn't been too long since Kaeya and Diluc... Reunited, for lack of a better word.

It's a very tentative sort of reunited- The kind where they're both afraid to say something that'll set the other off, or maybe they'll say something they don't mean and it'll shatter everything.

But that hasn't happened yet. They're careful around each other. They're cautious, walking on eggshells that if they think about it rationally, aren't really there.

But it's nice to... Get along again. If Kaeya sees Diluc in Mondstadt he has the privilege to actually have a conversation with him rather than pretend he never saw him at all.

Now, though, Kaeya leisurely strolls into Angel's Share. After hours, of course.

Diluc barely glances at the door before he speaks. "We're closed... Oh, it's you." If Kaeya weren't paying attention, he wouldn't have noticed the small upwards quirk of Diluc's lips. He makes himself comfortable on the stool near the bar, right across from his brother.

Kaeya does his usual smirk, leaning his elbows on the bar with his hands clasped beneath his chin. "If you're closed, you should lock your doors, don't you think?" He asks.

Rolling his eyes, Diluc crosses his arms. "Forgive me for that. What'll it be?" He asks, casually setting his hands down on the bar. It really wouldn't usually mean anything, but Diluc acting so casual even with Kaeya's presence around makes Kaeya so much happier than it should.

"Mmm.... Surprise me," He says, lazily tapping a finger on the cold, wood surface.

"What makes you believe I won't just give you grape juice?" Diluc teases, yet turns around and starts making one of those unbelievably delightful concoctions of his. God, they're good.

"You wouldn't do that to your poor brother, would you?" Kaeya says, starting with his damn puppy eyes- Diluc wasn't even planning to actually give him grape juice, but he averts his eyes anyway. Those eyes could make the most stone-hearted man crumble.

He presents Kaeya with a drink. It's pretty, that's for sure. Two colors layer over each-other, a peachy orange at the top and a nice, light pink at the bottom.

"Well, what is it?" He asks, swirling the drink around a bit. The colors mix a bit more. It's almost... entrancing.

"You said to surprise you. Try it yourself," Diluc says. He matches Kaeya's tapping on the bar, but his seems a bit more impatient, like he's waiting for Kaeya to try it. He knows his drinks are good, but he also knows that he knows Kaeya's preferences and this is a little... Different. On the topic of walking on eggshells, even this feels like one of them. Like making a drink he doesn't like could be...

(He doesn't use the word betrayal anymore. Not when it comes to Kaeya.)

"Mmm! Oh, Diluc, your skills never fail to amaze me." Kaeya takes leisurely sips of his drink, leaning forward on the counter. The comment is genuine, but his tone is playfully teasing.

"Is that so? I seem to remember you talking with Rosaria the other day... Hmm... About how you just can't stand a certain drink I make." Diluc remarks, making the most unamused expression he can muster- Which is to say, he still looks pretty amused.

Kaeya gasps, as if in offense. "Have you been eavesdropping on me? For shame, 'Luc. I should've known you'd do something like that." He shakes his head in disapproval. Diluc comes around the bar to sit on the stool beside his brother.

"You're always sitting right in front of me. Was I supposed to tune you out?" He asks, punctuating his remark with a gentle poke to Kaeya's side, just thinking it'd be a casual sort of contact- Something to shorten the distance between them just a little more, but he's surprised when Kaeya squeaks and bats his hand away, trying to cover it up with a cough.

"Kaeya... You're still ticklish?" He can't help but ask, letting his small smirk grow into a sort of fond smile mixed with something more teasing.

"I- Well, it's- Are you?" Kaeya's attempt to turn the attention off of himself is a total failure, and to save it he tries to retaliate with a poke to Diluc's side instead. This fails as well, when Diluc catches Kaeya's wrist in his hand before he can make it.

"Answer the question, Kaeya."

"...No, I don't think I will."

"Well, I can just find out myself then." Before Kaeya can make any attempt to run away or deflect, Diluc already has two hands squeezing at his sides, thumbs massaging into his skin over the thin material of his shirt.

"W-Wait! Nohohoho fahahahair! 'Luc, You bahahastard!" Kaeya squeals, covering his smile with one gloved hand and desperately pushing at Diluc's shoulder with the other.

"Are you in any position to be insulting me, Kaeya? For shame." He mimics Kaeya's earlier words right back to him, climbing up to scribble his fingers under his arms, to which Kaeya reacts with a high-pitched squeal and howling cackles. He slams his arms down as tight as he possibly can, still squirming about. "You'll fall off the stool if you do that," Diluc comments, still chuckling.

When Kaeya looks Diluc in the eye, he detects such a soft fondness that he has to look away. His squirming becomes significantly less because he wants to get away and more because he can't help it. "Oh, shuhut uhuhup! Nohoho, Luc, Not thehehere-!! AACK-!!"

He feels the lightest poke to his hips and Kaeya screeches. The only thing he can think to do is retaliate. He knows somewhere Diluc used to be incredibly ticklish and can only hope that he still is.

Grabbing at Diluc's ribs, Kaeya gasps with relief and curls up in his seat when Diluc flinches away.

"...I'll make you regret that, Kaeya."

Kaeya jumps out of his seat, holding his hands up in front of him as if that'll save him.

"Waitwaitwaitwait- 'Luc, H-Hold on, you don't want to do this!"

"Is that a threat?"

"I- What?!"

"Lost your wit, Kaeya?"

Diluc inches closer with a dangerous look in his eyes. If Kaeya's good at anything, it's running. He darts up the stairs with a silly, unrepressable grin on his face. His legs feel like jelly and he's almost bursting with a giddy energy as he hears Diluc's quick footsteps following him.

Before he can turn the corner, Diluc's dashed in front of him and he's just run straight into his brother, causing a domino effect. They both fall straight to the floor.

Kaeya can't help it, he rolls onto his side and doubles over laughing, because how can they still be so childishly stupid?

He cracks his eye open to look at Diluc, and he notices that they're both laughing. Diluc's covering his eyes with one hand, and his laugh is still so bouncy and happy, just as it was when they were kids. Only, now it has a more mature, rich sound to it. Kaeya rolls onto his back again, panting.

"We're not done here," Diluc says. He has an evil smile on his face and Kaeya does try to get up to run away again but his legs are jelly and he just flops back downward.

Diluc grabs his hips and starts clawing and Kaeya can't even think. The ticklish feeling is both delightfully silly and unbearably intense and he cannot believe this is happening right now. "N-No! Fuhuhuck! Oh, Archons, EEK-!! Dihihiluc! Stahahap, I can't! I cahahan't!!"

"Wow. You're usually a lot more cocky than that. Apologize." Diluc massages his fingers into Kaeya's hip-bones and he involuntary bucks, smacking at Diluc's hands to no avail.

"For Whaahahahat?!? I dihihidn't-!" Before he can finish his sentence, Diluc moves his one hand to scribble under his arms while the other stays at his hips and he just gives in, shrieking and bucking and trying to escape the hands of his evil brother. "I'M SORRY! I'm sohohohorry!" He apologizes without even knowing what he's apologizing for, but before he can even react, Diluc's hands have stilled and he's already standing.

Panting like an idiot on the floor, Kaeya glares at Diluc. As much as he can with that grin still plastered to his face, anyway. "Why? Explain what your goal was just now."

Diluc mockingly hums, as if really thinking about it. "I felt like it. You were apologizing for insulting my drink, by the way."

"Hmph. Well, maybe you should've taken my advice."

"Maybe you should watch your mouth before we go through all that again."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I definitely would."

Kaeya rolls his eyes, playfully punching Diluc's arm and flinching when he receives an evil glare in return.

He missed this.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

My OC's in the Knights Radiant Quiz

@illarian-rambling did this thing recently where she took the Knights Radiant Quiz for her ocs. Thought it was cool so I'm doing it too lol.

The Legend of Orian Goldeneye:

Jas: Willshaper (81%). Considering what her motives are in the story, this tracks nicely. Killian: Skybreaker (78%). I feel he'd be more of an ancient order Skybreaker, operating within his own moral code with an understanding of how rules are imperfect. Orian: Edgedancer (77%). It kind of fits his personality, and he would love to slide around. Henrik: Skybreaker (74%) and Stoneward (74%). Man was born to be a Skybreaker, he's a garrison captain after all. Stoneward also fits him, as a soldier. Diana: Lightweaver (74%). She is a musician, her morals can be questionable, and she disagrees with Henrik about many things. Azura: Lightweaver (57%) and Elsecaller (57%). She is very much into the subterfuge aspect of the Lightweavers. She's also decent at tactics, a theme of the Elsecallers, and dreamshaping is somewhat similar to moving through Shadesmar. Morpheus: Elsecaller (63%). Very similar to Azura, but he's much more on the cautious side.

Tales from Valaria:

Octavian: Windrunner (77%). Like me! And it also fits his role in The Watcher and the Thief, though by the time The Hunter the Myth and the Cure comes around it's changed drastically. Draven: Willshaper (73%). He does what he wants, doesn't really care for rules but he does have his own moral code. Reese: Lightweaver (62%). I'm not too sure about this one, mostly because her morals align closer to a Willshaper or Edgedancer in my opinion. But she does tend to hide her true self from others. Luc: Windrunner (78%). Fits his morals and his job, he's quite protective. Hector: Windrunner (79%). Same as Luc, makes sense since he's Luc's mentor, but I'd say Luc has a little bit more Skybreaker in him than Hector. Damian: Edgedancer (70%). Bodes well for Caenum to have a heir that cares for his people. He was also willing to give up his freedom if it meant his captor didn't get what she wants, so he's fairly selfless. Kaira: Lightweaver (57%) (Also -20% for Bondsmith apparantly???). She's very good at deception, but that's the only thing that would be Lightweaver about her. Personally I think she'd be a better Elsecaller, due to her search for power. Rift: Elsecaller (54%). I don't know how he got this one, he has average wisdom and intelligence is his dump stat. But he would definitely make good use of Shadesmar (for "borrowing" purposes).

(Forsaken: The Doomed City):

Rowan: Elsecaller (74%). Makes sense, he's fairly cautious, he's the leader of the group (not very good at it), and he's willing to do anything to get what he wants. Victoria: Windrunner (63%). She definitely likes working in a team, and is really attached to and protective of those she cares about, to the point where she'd do anything to save them. Ollie: Truthwatcher (81%). Considering their powers make him a great spy, fueled by his natural curiosity, this fits. Sam: Stoneward (61%). She's the group's tank, the most reliable out of all of them, and fairly optimistic. Whisper: Elsecaller (70%). What is with my villains and getting Elsecaller? Is it because they all seem to be selfish bastards who do anything for what they want? (Nevertheless this does fit him).

[acourtofthought]

You seem like a fair and kind person to me, plus you do a lot for this fandom; we're lucky to have you, and you deserve the compliments! Also I wanted to add that the az-luc theory was nice to hear bc it made the whole situation b/w them less “teen drama” I feel like a lot of the times the explanations given for the tension among the 3 of them are oversimplified. And although it’s not bad thing when guys fighting over a girl, it seems out of place in this series. Idk how to explain it exactly, but yeah it just seems so random snd doesn't make sense for this situation?

Thank you again!! 😊

I agree (with the rest of your message, I wasn't saying I agree with be deserving compliments though I greatly appreciate them 😂)

I think some treat the Az / Lucien setup as if it's really not a big thing but it's so out of character for two of the good guys in the series and the animosity Az has for Lucien has been mentioned enough times that it doesn't feel like they're simply going to shake hands in the next book and walk away without further explanation. SJM has made Az's dislike of Lucien a pretty big plot-point.

It's hotly debated but I honestly don't think Az was romantically interested in Elain until Solstice of MAF. I think he was protective before that because to him she seemed to be someone in need of protecting but he was relieved not to have to get her a gift and while she was in the room with him at Solstice, he stared at Mor with heat and yearning. You just don't do that if you're interested in another female at that moment.

But he was pissy about Lucien before Solstice:

"Send Lucien then. As our human emissary." (Az said this line)

After saying it, Rhys takes note of: "I studied the tenseness in Azriel's shoulders, the shadows veiling half of him from the sunlight."

He also says: "I don't make a point of looking after his movements" and: Azriel's Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. "Where did Lucien go"

After that last line Rhys is a bit taken back Az's tone and the way he basically demands an answer.

When Rhys asks Az if he thinks Lucien can handle being around Graysen, Az adopts an expressionless face and says "Why should I be the judge of that?".

And Rhys thinks again on how Az is giving absolutely no emotion away.

This can't be about Elain, he's still lusting after Mor. He's either mad about the fact that Lucien was "worthy" of a bond (regardless of who it was with) or mad that Rhys is looking to Lucien for information where Az used to be the go to person.

And of course after Solstice Az gets fixated on how Elain gave him and gift (which he opened after blushing, lusting over Mor) but didn't give one to Lucien and suddenly Az is caught up in his thoughts of Elain and his anger towards Lucien has progressed to him really not giving shit about Lucien at all, to the point that he's annoyed to have to ask him for help in Spring, thinks he's not good enough and doesn't care that he's casually talking about killing him.

I mean....what?!?

There's deeper emotions going on when it comes to how Az feels about Lucien that I don't think has anything to do with Elain and I kind of like the idea of it echoing whatever fallout may have existed between Fionn and his best friend, maybe some sort of jealousy that drove (Pelias?) to kill him.

That whole "history repeating itself but we'll do better than our ancestors" is always a good trope in books. And I think it was the TOG series that said something along these lines but maybe I'm thinking of something else entirely, "all the original players have returned". Which adds up to there being key people thousands of years ago that made mistakes which led to bad things happening and now, all those that were once connected to the originals have come together to succeed where they failed.

I don't know, it would make this whole setup a big more grand and purposeful and would be something more exciting to sort out instead of having a fan favorite MMC go down a path where he's being a dick to Lucien all on his own for absolutely no reason that's important to the story aside from being mad that he's not getting what others are getting. Having their setup be an echo of history somewhat takes the focus off Az's childish behavior and puts the focus on the bigger story.

[redfluffz]

If Alastor one finds out Lucifer has the ability to permanently kill an overlord and the souls they own would be free after that. He would definitely fear it would happen to him and when he confronts Luc about I'm sure as hell(no pun intended) Idiotic Al would use the obvious Charlie-would-be-upset-and-you-would-fail-of-being-a-father-once-again card and honestly I'm sick and tired of people make Al use that trick over and over just to get on Luc's nerves and I imagine Al used that trick over and over and over again just to get arise out the King to the point he doesn't bother anymore and just straight up said:

Luc: used that trick card and you're actually gonna your neck permanently broken! I no longer care of what Charlie thinks just because she's friends with you! I'm not someone who would fall for the same over and over again just so I would back off and you would smile like an idiot who thought he won a war! Just shut up! Leave me alone! Do some social distancing if you want to live and keep your contract of souls because I. Lucifer Morningstar. The King of Hell. Has limits when it comes to overused old tricks like you often do for the past 8 months! Since you want to live just leave me alone... Do the Charlie again then it's your end.

Al: Ohohoho~! You wouldn't actually do that! Would you...?

Luc: I would and I could and if I'm having a bad day... I WILL DO IT! GO AHEAD AND TRY ME, BITCH!!!

Hahaha. Poor Alastor. 🤣

"TRY ME, BITCH!"

But you know what? I think Luc is used to annoying beings. So he might knows how to treat them without killing them.

I mean Alastor can't die in space, cause he's already dead, right? 🤣🤣

Oh and yes. I really believe the most annoying thing to him must be Mammon.

I have a funny comic about Mam and Luc in mind. They're going on a roadtrip and ending up in the middle of a satantic cult.