#//Son having to fix his dad's problem big oof

[kibo-no-akademi]

"This lettering sucks..." He muttered to himself, his nose crinkles as he checked his phone, once again at the school's resting area, his gaze was focused on the small screen as he was tapping it and once a while taking a bite out of a piece of chocolate he received days ago from Cateline. A closer look at it reveals that he was fixing typos in a long-looking file, which he occasionally scrolls back and forth as he sighs exasperatedly, knowing that it will take him a while to finish.

...Honestly, he wishes not to continue it, since this is his father's job to do it, not his. However, he knew it was pretty important since it was related to the voyage he took part in, and frankly, he felt the logs were not professional enough as they were to be shown by his superiors, so there was not much choise but to fix it.

[shallowseeker]

SAM, if I were your brother, I'd have hit you in this episode. Or at the very least put hair-dye in your shampoo!

Ok, so I finally finished re-watching Don't Go Into the Woods, and I noticed that Sam is doing the same thing he did with Claire Novak a little bit!

///

So, at the start of the episode, he doesn't even seem all that aware of the stress Jack, Dean, Cas are under. In the previous episode, Peace of Mind, Sam is wrapped up in his own grief and failings, and Cas steps in to mentor him (note Cas also wanted to let Dean get some much-needed sleep).

Here, in Don't Go Into the Woods, Sam starts out gung-ho about the hunt, but by the end of the episode, he's clamped onto his moral-fixation-of-the-moment, inspired by the case-of-the-week, where a Dean-and-Cas coded sheriff has lied to a son to protect him.

///

And here's the thing. I's a little bit true, right? Dean is tiptoeing around Jack, chipperly telling him that "his mission is SHOPPING!"

BUT.

Sam's being sanctimonious-Sam here.

Dean's been the one trying to take care of Sam AND Jack when Sam was running everyone ragged by diving into case after case...when Sam was trying to forget about losing the AU hunters.

Now, weeks later, Sam checks back in to trying to be apart of the co-parenting village.

I'm impressed Dean is keeping patience enough to listen to him. I'd have laid on Baby's horn and screamed, probably. Or turned on heavy-metal and let it rattle the windows.

DEAN: So telling the kid--you think that's the best idea? SAM: What? You don't? DEAN: It doesn't make his life any better, you know?

Oof. Ow.

Dean is so sad.

He knows something is wrong with his kid, but he doesn't know how to fix it. BECAUSE it's not simple.

But Sam? After weeks of being "out of it," Sam has hyper-focused on The Thing (TM) he thinks is gonna fix it.

For Sam, it's simple. Don't lie, and everything else solves itself! :D Talk, and all your problems just melt away.

DEAN: I took care of it, okay? We took care of it. SAM: No, no Dean. We did not take care of it.

(BRB, hitting Sam with a newspaper.)

Sam is framing this as a "Dean is so controlling" issue, when in fact, it's a part of the larger "Sam is checking out," one.

And hey--we are absolutely sympathetic to Sam checking out, to using hunting to ease his turbulence.

He's not the only character to do so!

However, Sam is a character that tends to check out, come back, and immediately go into sanctimonious LECTURE mode:

SAM (judgily): No, no Dean. We did not take care of it. You did.

Yeah, Sam. That's kind of the whole friggin' point here!!!

For weeks now, Dean and Cas having been taking trying their darnedest to care of YOU, of Jack, of everything! Dean is even the one who checked in on the phone with your friend ROWENA.

Cas is going the other direction, taking on too much. He's out trying to take care of things ON HIS OWN AS YOU SPEAK. Dean's on the -hold-down-the-fort-homefront, and Cas is on the big-solution-oriented-battlefront.

All Dean does is exhale a little. "Ha..."

SAM: And do you think you really took care of it the right way?

....

......................................

Sam. Sammy.

....

Anyway, so Dean. He's hit with this...blunt, hamfisted unkindness rom Sam after his Michael-possession and superhuman efforts to take care of everyone, so he scrambles.

DEAN: "Jack said he was fine."

And obviously, Dean knows Jack isn't fine.

HE'S the one that was wanting to give Jack more space and time before hunting, after all. And in the beginning of this ep, Sam wasn't even thinking about Jack's wellbeing at all. It just...hasn't been on his radar. He was the one berating Dean for not wanting to bring Jack along and sassily reminding him that Jack was (via Donatello) "is in the clear."

And so, Sam pushes the lying issue:

SAM: "He's a kid. And when we were kids, how many times did we tell dad we say were fine just to make him happy?"

...

Oh.

Like you did earlier this very episode, Sam?

*coughs*

Sigh.

///

In the context of the last few weeks and his cluelessness in the beginning of this episode, wanna know why Sam is using this issues to throw such a bitch-fit?

Because now that Sam's checked into the village parenting club again, he's latching onto something that's easier to control than everything else: words.

Cause Sam's simplifying the whole sitch.

(It's why Sam's boundaries with Jack tend to be "easy-mode" parenting, like his berating Jack's sugary sweets/diet. These are tasks that allow Sam to remain "the good guy in Jack's corner" without doing the "hard-mode" parenting that turns the parent into a Bad Guy.)

And Sam he thinks talking out "the truth" will magically fix Jack's complex issues...ones Sam's been conveniently ignoring for weeks.

///

And Dean is being so beautifully understanding about it. Acquiescing and trying things Sam's way.

///

Sam slinks in the background at first, letting Dean do the greeting and the talking at first, waiting for his moment to swoop in and provide "sage, Sammy-time advice" That he has no doubt been rehearsing silently in the car.

And Dean...despite shielding Jack from the truth, is being honest in other emotional ways. He emphasizes how he didn't particularly like the gross parts of the hunt.

[[Remember, in the very beginning of the episode, Sam judgmentally raked Dean over the FUCKIN' COALS for jumping at the sight of the dead body. "How many years you been doing this job, Dean? You're embarrassing me here.")]]

///

Enter Sam. Parent mode activated!

God help us.

DEAN, comically annoyed that Jack didn't get the beer...

....and MAYBE wondering if Sam's bull-in-the-China-shop parenting is going to work right here at this ill-timed moment or not.

The thing is, Sam is right about some aspects of this! It's a good thing to talk to Jack about his powers! Like how Cas needs to talk to Jack about the snake! How Dean needs to stop being so afraid of the truth that he goes into denial mode.

BUT!

At its base, the Sam method tends to chafe.

Jack's been INCREDIBLY defensive lately, something Cas and Dean know well and have clearly talked about with each other freely. In Peace of Mind, they both used the snake to talk to Jack soas not to trigger Jack's defensiveness.

But Sam? Sam's been way outta the loop. And it shows.

SAM: Jack LISTEN. Dean and I wanted to talk to you about your powers.

And again, I'm not saying Sam's wrong. He's just...unfortunately very Sam about things even when he's right. He's able to occasionally give good advice, like to Mary about AU Bobby!

There's no real...100% wrong stance here.

After all, maybe it would've been better for Jack to come along with them (or maybe it would've gone terribly)?

And Dean may have good intention in wanting to lie to protect his son Jack, but Dean definitely doesn't want his partner to lie to him to spare him pain.

(Or, actually, via the script, that's not quite true. He SIMULTANEOUSLY wants Cas to tell him about the snake, and he DOESN'T want Cas to tell him about the snake. Lol, oh the humanity.)

///

ANYHOO. Dean gracefully enters the conversation, trying to be frank but IMHO clearly having misgivings about this approach and timing:

DEAN: It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth.

And Jack has a moment of indecision here, clearly thinking about his own lie. Ordinarily, Jack might come clean about how his powers injured someone (and then healed them). But not now. Not with how things have been lately.

But here...psychologically wounded from consuming Michael's grace, feeling flat inside, feeling guilty and disconnected from everything...he remains quiet.

Not to mention, Sam's up in his face like this:

///

Jeebus. No wonder Jack didn't say anything.

Make no mistake, Jack is annoyed by the constant hovering. He says as much in Game Night, but something about this cerebral-scripted-Sam-method IMHO works the least with Jack.

(We see that in Tombstone, too.)

I think Dean realizes that Jack's withdrawing here, that this method, despite it's moral clarity, wasn't entirely effective or successful for getting through to Jack:

At least with Cas, Jack allowed himself to get mad, to speak freely. (Same with Mary in Game Night. He lets his real emotions show.)

But this? Sam's pushing?

He shuts down:

Dean tips his head back, like "Oh crap." Perhaps thinking to himself, HOLY MOLEY THAT DID NOT WORK AT ALL.

He even makes a Cas face about it:

And the fun part is: Jack knows that Dean knows.

You can see it in the flash of eyes he gives him here. But when Jack looks back to Sam, he does this little "I'm so innocent" act.

And Sam? Sam looks overjoyed because he's a dumbass who missed...everything.

Dean on the other hand...is...more understanding of the fuck-all progress that actually made here. Which is basically none. He swings his arms like, "Whelp. That was useless."

Sam is like YISSS I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE CONQUERED PARENTING IN ALL MY WISDOM

DEAN (sarcastically): Great. And I guess I'll go get some beer.

[agendratum]

ok so

as usual after finishing an arc of mdzs my head is full, many thoughts. so let’s talk about the guanyin temple confrontation.

first thing that i kept paying attention to were actually the changes made in order to turn it into live-action. so in cql they had to make the gray-gray characters, the “there are no good or bad guys, just people and their circumstances” characters (unless you’re jgs, than yeah you’re a bad guy and everyone agrees on that actually) into slightly more black and white characters. by the end of cql we are lured into this fake sense of security, “haha, we know who the bad guy is!” (then a year passes and here you are, now a jgy apologist), by the end of mdzs, you just know that, well, decisions were made, unfortunate decisions, by many different people. 

cql had to make wwx into a bit nicer version of himself. the good protagonist couldn’t lose control and accidentally kill a bunch of people, and then kill another bunch of people fully willingly, cause his sister just died and that was the last connection he had to the idea that something still matters in this world. no, out protagonist should be... like a little bit nicer than that. so they lifted some of that responsibility for atrocities off him, but they couldn’t just evaporate it, could they? they had to put it somewhere. they put it on jgy. after all he’s the big bad in the end of the story, well, the only surviving person from all people that could be considered big bads, he’s the one that “did every terrible deed imaginable”. he could take that responsibility, they had to make his grayness into a slightly darker shade anyway.

i am actually kinda surprised by how different my reaction to jgy was in mdzs. obviously, there is a year difference between me watching cql and me reading this part of mdzs, and over that year i changed my opinion on jgy 5 thousand times and joined the camp “actually meng yao deserves all the best things in the world”, but anyway. when i was watching cql i was like, oh my god, can someone just kill him already, before he does something bad again, before more bullcrap comes out of his mouth, and also stop yelling at this kid about all the “valid” reasons to why you killed his dad. in mdzs my reaction to jgy’s confessions was like, “huh. he has a point”.

now don’t get me wrong there, some shitty things were done, but the thing is, the things he did really made sense from his point of view, from this position and life experience he really had no other way to go. i especially was convinced by his reasoning to why he couldn’t cancel his engagement with qin su. not only he would suffer from this story, because he already went through so much to make this marriage possible, but also qin su’s parents and herself would most likely suffer, their public image would be destroyed, only jgs wouldn’t lose anything. and you could feel the hatred and bitterness he felt towards his father talking about this, and everyone in the temple could agree with that, because he “just forgot he made another child”, he didn’t even notice.

another interesting detail for me was lxc saying, “it’s not that i didn’t know that you did some of these things, it’s that i thought you had a good reason for doing them”. so yeah, a reminder, lxc isn’t blind and he isn’t an idiot. he trusted a person he thought he knew better than anyone else, and he believed in this person. the problem, i think, is that “a good reason” is different for lxc and for jgy. lxc would understand a righteous reason, doing something for the greater good. working for wen ruohan? that was explainable. they all were fighting in a war, fighting for the better, brighter future, and meng yao’s contribution to that future was immeasurable. what if he killed some people there? he had a good reason in lxc’s eyes. but meng yao had other good reasons in his life, some of these reasons lxc never had to deal with in his life. survival, for example, is one of them. meng yao’s early years were very different from lxc’s. not to say that lxc’s life was easy, but it was never truly unstable. meng yao had to learn how to survive in a world where no one wanted him. he lived with one dream, promised to him by his mother, a future where he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, where he wouldn’t have to smile at people he hated, please every one of their desires so they wouldn’t harm him. and then he entered this life promised to him and he still had to survive, but now in a luxurious man-eats-man world of lanling jin.

meng yao’s life really was this unstoppable ball of snow rolling down the mountain, and every decision he made just made the ball bigger and it would just roll faster. there is even a moment where jgy accuses lxc of being naive. lxc isn’t really naive, of course, it was said in the heat of the moment, but it is a fact that lxc was never kicked down a staircase, never had to crawl back up, and the thing is, at the bottom of the staircase, there are other good reasons to do things.

and in a way lxc understood that jgy in his position really didn’t have any other choices, he just couldn’t find peace in this mindset. he kept repeated through that part, “and yet, and yet, you shouldn’t have done that, you should have...” and he never said what exactly jgy should have done. because lxc doesn’t know. jgy doesn’t know. no one knows. what choices were better? how could he fix all that and still survive? in a way, lxc saying that reminded me of wangxian farewell in the burial mounds. when lwj asks, “you really indent to keep going like this?” and wwx, who wished, who longed for another solution, for some way out, asked him, “what else can i do? what method can i choose to resolve this, not use this technique and still protect people i want to protect?” and lwj didn’t have an answer. lxc didn’t have an answer either.

another amazing thing about guanyin temple confrontation, is that it’s very heavily wwx’s pov. most on the novel is his pov of course, but there were a loot of his thoughts in this arc. and he was rather understanding towards jgy. not in a way “i agree with every reasoning behind every decision you made” but in a way “i understand that you had your reasons, but all of them will become irrelevant really soon, they already are, because the crowd will only remember you as a son of a whore who did every terrible deed imaginable, and all the good deeds will be forgotten” 

now his thoughts on nhs, or who he suspected nhs to be, were way less nice. especially compared to live action, nhs didn’t make such an impression on me as he made through wwx’s thought process in the end of guanyin temple arc. of course, wwx is no sect leader yao, he is not the one to jump to conclusions, he just noticed that if you put some facts together, they actually start making a lot of sense, and formed a full picture. but he didn’t have any proof, so he kept it mostly to himself. yet he still thought for a moment about nhs as someone who didn’t care about collateral damage that much, who was ready to sacrifice lives of juniors, sect leaders, anyone, if it would add to jgy’s kill count and make his fall and destruction even more disastrous. not that those are not the things that happened in live action, but you know, when wwx put it all together like that in one paragraph, i really felt it. like, oof, dude it’s ROUGH. and not even jgy’s death was enough, as nhs basically admitted to stealing meng shi’s body and planning to repay jgy for what he did to nmj’s body. yikes

i mean i still support nhs in everything he does, but yikes

also side note, glad that the dead cats situation finally became clear for me. this whole year i was so confused about who left all these dead cats for juniors to find. i thought maybe xue yang did?? to lure wwx?? so apparently it was also nhs. good to know.

another detail, probably the last one my brain can generate for now, that pained me a great deal was my poor child jin ling. i already cried about some things related to him and this arc, but there was another little one in the very end here, after jgy died. jin ling realised, that there were now three people, wwx, wn and jgy, his little uncle, that were responsible for his parents’ death. people he had every right and reason to hate. all three of them. and yet he couldn’t hate any of them. he couldn’t avenge his parents, that died so long ago he couldn’t remember them, because all three people responsible for what happened, had something, some reasons, some circumstances, that made them really not the bad guys in jin ling’s life. and they all cared about him, protected him. how could he hate them? how could he not? and in this way this poor child repeats, unfortunately, his uncle’s curse. to have someone he wants to hate so much but just simply can’t. it warms my heart at least that jin ling has a much better support system than jc had when he had to live through that experience. so there is hope.

[prorevenge]

[Long] How we destroyed our teacher and principal:

Apologies in advance if some details are blurry as this happened almost 14 years ago. Also, this is going to be a long one, so bare with me, I swear the result is worth it, at least it is to me.

The beginning: It all started when I (M25) was 12 years old. My grade 7 teacher (M46 at the time) was infamous for being intimidating and, in my opinion, abusive to his students. He was the disciplinarian of the school. He was in charge of keeping track of detentions and announcing who will be sitting every Friday during assembly.

We suspected at that time that the reason why he never got fired was either because his students were too scared to report him, or because of the fact that the principal was his brother-in-law.

Reasons why I hated him: He was constantly making vaguely racist remarks, complaining about the "New South Africa" and constantly bringing up how his life was better during the Apartheid regime (He's a white guy who was raised on a farm).

I always felt like he had an issue with me as a person because I'm a practising Muslim. He would make the class laugh at how "funny" Muslim women looked with their heads "wrapped up". His jokes about Muslims missing out on eating bacon were endless, in fact, he one day purposely stood in front of my desk eating a cheese and bacon panini.

He used to often rant about how the school is no longer a "pure Christian institution as it once was back in the day". He would say these things and glance at either me, my twin sister, or the black students in the class who practiced their own African religions.

When it was his birthday, my mom encouraged me to buy him a gift. I spent of my pocket money, which was already limited (my parents didn't believe in allowances) to buy him a big slab of chocolate and a long piece of Droëwors (dried sausage). Throughout the day, he would get gifts from students in his class and others.

He would get up from his desk to greet and thank them, and then shake their hand. I remember noticing this because I always found it weird when students shook hands with teachers because of how small our hands were compared to theirs.

However, when I gave him my gift, all he did was look at me for like a second, look away and nod his head slightly. I remember being thankful for not offering my hand out for him to shake because I thought he might have ignored it in front of the entire class. To say I felt like shit is an understatement.

The experience that made me hate him the most happened just before we wrote 2nd or 3rd term exams. I was walking with my friend David (fake name) back from the tuck shop during interval. We took a shortcut between the English and Afrikaans kindergarten classes and saw a group of boys huddled together.

One of them walked towards us and I saw that he had one of those camping multi-tools with the folding knife out, and instantly got a fright. He told us "Give me your stuff before I cut your neck" and then started laughing and walked back to his friends. It was clearly a joke but David looked close to tears and I had a very bad fright because of what he done. I told the guy (Fake name Xander) that he's not allowed to have knives at school and that I'm going to tell my teacher.

We walked straight to our teacher and when we spoke to him, David burst into tears.

We told him what happened and David was sobbing when he said he felt like he was going to die. Our teacher barely looked up from his computer while we were speaking and when he asked for the guy's name. We told him the name and he said he will deal with it and for us to go out for interval again.

I went home and told my mom who I felt didn't fully believe me at the time.

The next day we saw Xander were basically making fun of him for getting into trouble with our teacher and likely getting expelled at worst, or sitting a Saturday detention at best. He laughed back at us and said our teacher just came to his class, asked to speak to him and told him to never bring it to school again. No detention. No suspension. Basically nothing. He still had the knife on him for the rest of the day before.

We were so upset we went back to our teacher and I told him that Xander said that he didn't get into trouble for having the knife. He gave me the ugliest look as if I was bothering him, and coldly said to me that maybe I should fix my late-coming problem before I try to get other people in trouble.

I would come late 4 or 5 times a month because my mom's car's battery terminals were broken so the battery would run flat and she couldn't afford to have it fixed. She had to put the neighbour's battery in her car, start it, and then idle it while she took that battery out and put her own battery back in to charge up. My mom taught me the value of always having a number 10 spanner in your car lol.

I felt betrayed by my teacher. The person who was supposed to make us feel safe while we were away from home.

When I spoke to my friends about it, they told me that Xander was actually the principal's son, meaning he was my teacher's nephew. I decided to take the opportunity to speak to my friends about getting evidence that our teacher is treating students unfairly.

3 of my 4 close friends had camera phones. I sat in the far left corner, my one friend sat in the opposite corner by the door, our other friend sat in the middle, and the last friend was right at the back of the class by the window on the left. One thing about our teacher: he did not give a fuck about where we sat as long as we answered him when he done roll call and didn't bother anyone when we swapped seats.

We came to an agreement that whenever our teacher would sound like we was going to say something vaguely racist or islamophobic, we would all discreetly take videos of him.

Any private conversation we had with him was voice recorded on our phones. We caught him on camera telling a really racist joke about black people, and saying that Hindus must have a lot of problems since they have so many Gods. We caught him saying a lot of bad things, but a lot slipped through our fingers because we weren't fast enough.

It was extremely difficult to keep our friend group motivated to record him and not tell anyone else about it. It was especially difficult because at the time I had a hand-me-down Samsung D900 which was seen as an expensive phone at the time.

My mom prohibited me from taking it to school. She instead bought a cheap R79 ($5) phone for us that could only make calls and send SMS's. This was in case she needed to reach us in an emergency. I got caught several times sneaking my camera phone to school. My biggest mess up at school was when my mom phoned me on my Samsung and I answered it. Big oof but I was a dumbass.

After I think a month we decided that we couldn’t let it go any further.. One of our friends was a black guy named Tatenda (fake name). Tatenda was a problem child. His mom died when he was four and his dad was an alcoholic. He was raised mostly by his uncle who up until today I think was a pimp. He used to act out at school because of undiagnosed ADHD, his dad and uncle didn't believe in learning disabilities and always assumed he was just lazy and badly behaved.

Tatenda especially got onto our teachers nerves because not only was he black, but because he would bring broken calculators from home and take them apart during class. One day our teacher told him to clear his desk and throw away the bits of plastic and calculator shit. He ignored the teacher. The teacher then started screaming at him, and Tatenda done the only logical thing an 12/13 year old would do in such a situation: he mockingly put two pencils into his ears.

Our teacher lost his shit, grabbed Tatenda and threw him against the door. The narrow window pane cracked and Tatenda's head was bleeding. He told us he was fine during interval afterwards and we put money together to buy him a Sprite. I almost cried when my friend who sat way behind me said he got the whole thing on camera. We didn't even trust that the whole class' testimony would get him into trouble. We decided that enough was enough.

The revenge: First we showed the video to Tatenda's uncle, who showed it to his father. Then I showed my mom all the other videos and recordings.

She. Lost. Her. Mind.

One of my friends sent all of it to his older sister who had a Facebook account and she posted it there and tagged the school and as many parents as she knew. It blew up. Parents and people from around the province phoned the school demanding answers as to what is going to happen to our teacher. He was immediately suspended.

There were rumours circulating that he had to go into hiding because Tatenda's uncle and his friends were looking to kill him. I even met Tatenda's dad for the first time in the weeks after the whole thing exploded. He liked to joke that his dad sobered up especially for this lol.

The principal pulled Xander out of the school. We never saw him again. My mom told me an investigation was launched against the school because of the improper handling of bullying complaints. If I remember correctly, 3 English kids in my class alone spoke out against teachers dismissing their complaints of bullying by the Afrikaans kids. We were a mostly white, Afrikaans speaking school with 3 Afrikaans classes but only 1 English class per grade.

They called us"souties" which was short for "soutpiel" which literally tranlates as "salty dick". It's a derogatory term for English speaking, white South Africans. It means your one leg in is South Africa, your other leg is in England, so your dick is hanging in the ocean.

We only saw our teacher once after he was suspended. He looked badly beaten up, and was accompanied by a policeman and two other male teachers so he could gather the rest of his stuff from his class.

But it didn't end there.

Because so many kids needed the evidence that they were being bullied and nothing was done because of it, the CCTV footage was brought up. My friend's mother who was part of the school governing body that time, told us a few years ago that when they reviewed the footage, it became apparent that the principal was having an affair with one of the grade 2 teachers.

He could be seen grabbing her ass at the furthest point away from the camera. They slipped up a few times and kissed in clear view of the camera, but I guess once you're surrounded by the cameras everyday at work, you forget that they're there. It was very apparent that sometimes they thought they couldn't be seen.

My mom's friend's sister (basically my aunt) sells Tupperware and one of her regular customers and close friend's is the principal's ex wife. Not only did she leave him, but they were not married in community of property due to a prenup agreement. The house they lived in was in her name since before marriage, so she effectively made him homeless because none of his family wanted to take him in.

He ran into severe debt from staying in guesthouses and burned many bridges from overstaying his welcome at friends. As for my teacher, his reputation was destination fucked. He served jail time, don't know how long, and eventually left the country because it seemed everyone knew his face from the media attention he received.

The reason why I made this post: I was never going to tell this story on Reddit as I've told it over and over through the years since primary school. But I felt I had to because of what I experienced at the beginning of this year.

My family is part of a non profit organisation that has feeding schemes all over the country. The last Friday feed of February I'm standing security as I usually do since we're few volunteers and there's many homeless people and most are on drugs and can get violent.

I'm walking down the line to make sure there are no fights or anything that could start a riot, and I see a familiar face. My old principal is standing in the line, waiting for a bowl of stew and bread, with absolutely no idea who's standing beside him. Obviously he wouldn't have recognised me, but I never forgot his face. I'm not gonna lie, I cried quite a bit behind my sunglasses. Seeing him brought back the feelings I had when I was 12 years old in 7th grade, trying absolutely every excuse in the book to not have to go to school and be bullied by my teacher.

So yeah, for those of you who are still reading, this is the end of how my friends and I destroyed the lives of my teacher and principal.

If you got this far and are feeling depressed, worthless, or less than your peers, I love you. I appreciate you, and you, are seriously fucking awesome. Bye Bye..

(source) story by (/u/Mobi_Wan_Kenobi786)

[drethanramslay]

Please could I request 19, 46 and 97 with Ethan and f!mc As fluffy as you can make it 🙌 Thank yooou

Thanks for the ask anon!!

And let the writing spree commece 😉 you can find the prompt list here

#19-  God, you are so fucking cute.

#46- “Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so…”

#97- “I apologise sincerely if my handsome/beautiful face has kept you awake all night.”

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl @samihatuli @loveellamae @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @zeniamiii @binny1985 @an-urban-witch-ig @ramseyegerton @noboundariesplease @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey @newcolonies @mkamra2355 @unluckygs @choices-love-affair @choiceskaavya @caseyvalentineramsey @ohramsey @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq @itsgoingnuts

(i you want to be added to the taglist let me know:))

warning: mention of suicide, and i promise its fluff 

ICE CREAM

Ethan was walking down the hallway, towards the reception, his eyes focused on the chart in his hand. It was the end of the day and he usually didn’t like taking his work home, but he couldn’t stand being in the hospital any moment longer.

He hadn’t been home for 2 days and there is only so much napping you can do on the rusty beds in the on-call room before you craved your own mattress.

He stopped by and signed a couple of release forms. He was so engrossed in his work that he didn’t notice someone standing behind him.

“Ethan?” The feminine voice called out.

He turned around and his blood ran cold.

“Oh, my beautiful baby boy!! You have grown so much.” Ethan’s mom threw herself at Ethan and Ethan’s eyes widened, not knowing what to do, or what to say.

There aren’t any guidelines on ‘how to behave when your mom turns up after 25 years’ that you can read up.

He slowly peeled her off of him.

“What do you want, Barbara?” A look of pain passed on her face.

Ethan narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms, reinforcing the walls all around his heart, his eyes turning steely.

“I- I missed you.”

Ethan scoffed. He turned towards the counter and resumed his work, hurrying the hell up so that he can get away from the ghost of his past.

“Ethan, please. I’m so sorry, I made a mistake and I’m here to fix-”

That’s it, I tried to be patient but this woman won’t get the fucking hint.

He gently grabbed his mom by the arm and pulled her into the nearest conference room. He didn’t need his personal life to be the gossip of the hospital.

“No. You do not get to say that.”

“But I me-”

Ethan held his hands up, stopping her. “No, you don’t. You can’t call it a mistake now. It’s 25 years too late. I know you are here only for my money. You may have played my dad by luring him into the false security that you are here to 'fix things’ but you can’t fool me.”

“Ethan, I would never-”

“Please. I saw you shoplift from the store near your motel. Don’t lie. You are just a con artist trying to hurt dad all over again.”

“How do yo- oh! It was that girl, wasn’t it? What’s her name… Garcia!” She said as she snapped her fingers.

Ethan stood towering over her staring down at her with the coldest eyes. “You do not deserve to speak her name. You do not deserve to be in the same space as her. You do not deserve to breathe the same air as her because she is everything that you aren’t. She is loyal, caring and supportive. She is a thousand times the woman you will ever be.”

Ethan stepped back and tugged on his jacket. “Now get the hell out of here and don’t show me or my dad your face. Otherwise, I swear to god, I will get a restraining order.”

Turning on his heels he stomped out of the room. He was so blinded by his anger that he almost trampled over Leah.

“Woah there, big man! I’m just a small bean, don’t trample me.” She said as she steadied herself by grasping his strong arms.

“I’m sorry Garcia.” He said as he put his hands on her waist, trying to balance her. Leah blushed and looked up but the moment she saw the torment on his face, the smile dropped and concern schooled her features.

“Ethan.. what happened?”

“I-” tears welled up his eyes and Leah knew that it was a serious situation. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into an on-call room and locked the door. She made him sit on the bed and she sat across him, crossing her legs.

She reached and grasped his hands. “Tell me what happened. It’s just you and me.”,

“My mom is a fucking cockroach that j can’t seem to get rid of. She has already invaded my dad’s life and he fucking let her. I spoke to him the other day about how I hated that, she was back in his life. Am I really that worthless that he won’t listen to his son?”

“And that’s not it, she fucking pretends that she knows me!! Does she know that dad cried to sleep for so many days?! Does she know that I was fucking bullied for 7 years and it was so bad that I was fucking depressed and suicidal?! Does she know that she is the cause of all my problems?!” His voice cracked as he bent his head down, grief overcoming him.

Leah’s heart was breaking for the man in front of her. He didn’t deserve this shit. He deserved the entire fucking universe and if she could, she would lay it at his feet.

“I’m just a fucking curse. I’m worthless and I-” He sniffed.

“Please don’t say that about yourself. Please don’t believe that. You’re so much more than that. You’re so…” Leah’s voice cracked. Ethan was one of the strongest people she had ever meant and to see him cry, felt like a stab in the heart.

She straddled his lap and held his face up so that his troubled blues could meet her warm brown eyes.

“Ethan.. you are the strongest person I have ever met. You are selfless and are ready to give it all up for your patients. You are a loving man and you could go to the ends of the world to for your loved ones. You are deserving of EVERY damn good thing in this world. You are a great leader, mentor, son, you name it.”

Ethan blinked and a lone tear fell down his face. He had never seen anyone, not even his own father shower him with such affection.

How did I get so lucky?

Leah wiped the tear off and caressed his defined cheekbones. “I’m not lying. I am so fucking lucky to be in a world where you exist. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am..”

“God, you are so fucking cute,” Ethan said lowly as he grasped her hand, which was resting on his cheeks. He squeezed it in gratitude.

“Yeah, I know. So does that mean you will buy me ice cream?”

“Wait.. isn’t it supposed to be the other way round? You treating me."Ethan asked with one eyebrow lifted.

"Nah, my emotional quota for the day is over.”

They laughed as they stepped out into the night. It was already twelve in the night and they drove all around the city searching for an open store.

——————————————————————————————————–

“What’s your favourite colour?” Leah asked him as she dug into her Ben’s and Jerry’s.

“Hazel… Like your eyes.” He said cheekily as he nudged her shoulder

“OOF! Ethan, you are so cute.” She blushed as she dug into her tub.

After a moment of silence, Ethan looked down at his watch “Sunshine, it’s 4 am. I can’t even go to sleep now.”

“But you aren’t sad anymore.” She gave him a soft smile as she leaned on his shoulder.

“That’s true… But still, I like sleeping!”

“I apologise sincerely if my beautiful face has kept you awake all night.”

“No, you don’t you little shit.” He rolled his eyes. Leah just gave a coy smile and snuggled into Ethan, a little more.

[nullanythorm-ao3]

Okay so bear with me, a little background on this idea of mine. As a writer, my primary love when it comes to writing is characters. My characters’ motivations, background, process of reasoning, and to a lesser extent their psychology. While I’m writing, I’ll often look for music to inspire my latest project or drive a character interaction in a particular scene. So, lately, as I’ve been working on my work and listening to a bunch of Tangled songs throughout my time working on TiSE and CiM, I came up with an idea. This idea. 

But what if Varian and Cass’ songs were swapped?

This isn’t a roleswap AU or anything. Rather, it’s just as I said. A swap of their primary character/villain songs. Varian’s s1 arc gets Waiting in the Wings, its reprise, and Crossing the Line. Meanwhile, Cass’ s2-3 arc gets Let me Make You Proud, its reprise, and Ready as I’ll ever be. Basically, I realized that Cass and Varian actually have very similar motivations, they’re just skewed to different sides. They have other things that separate them as characters, but I feel swapping their songs could actually bring out other sides of their characters while still emphasising their motivations and make for some interesting emotional points where it wouldn’t have been originally. 

So, I’m going to go over EVERY SINGLE ONE of those six songs verse by verse (or maybe even individual lines for emphasis sometimes) here - and tell you how I think the emotional beats of a lot of the songs still fit if they’re swapped because this epiphany has been driving me crazy and I think it’s time to put it on paper. We’ll be going in chronological order based on the order they’d be in if they WERE swapped, not how they originally are. So buckle in cuz this is gonna be a long ride!

Okay so we’re starting with 

Waiting in the Wings (Varian Version)!

Oooh boy. So first and foremost, some of these songs might change where they’d pop up due to the tone of the song being better in a certain setting. Waiting in the Wings isn’t one of those, but I wanted to make that clear since for each song I’ll be specifying where in time in the timeline it’d be. 

So Waiting in the Wings, in this song swap, would happen in the same place as Let Me make You Proud. Varian accidentally traps Quirin in Amber, and rushes out to get Rapunzel. It’s got a bit more of a somber vibe to it, but I think it actually really works to ramp up the emotional gut punch here. Let’s get started!

Guess we all are born with parts to play Some of us are stars and some are just in the way  I know I was meant for glory  But that’s never what my story brings And Yet I keep on waiting

So this first verse! I think it really could set up how Varian feels underappreciated. He really wants to stand out - get the glory and attention he feels he deserves so his dad can say he’s proud of his son for a change. Yet, others like Rapunzel, Eugene, Cass, etc are the stars. As he’s going out into the storm to get Rapunzel, he’s basically musing to himself on the fact that he’s relying on his friends again, having royally screwed up, and needing the stars of the show to fix it while he’s still waiting for his moment to shine. 

That “Some of us are stars, and some are just in the way” is a real gut punch here because Varian’s always had a bad reputation. And while he’s kept trying and trying and trying to do things right - he’s starting to feel that maybe he can’t do anything on his own. 

When You have the passion and the drive  You expect your moment center stage to arrive I show up with heart ablazing Ready to achieve amazing things  But I’m left waiting in the wings

Oooooooh boy. This boy definitely has passion and drive. He’s tried so hard to perfect his alchemy. To do great things. He wants to learn, to create, to build. Get that moment in the spotlight so he can be proud of himself, so that he can impress his dad. He wants to help others with his big brain so bad, to do something that can have him center stage - to get attention. 

But every time, he gets shown up. Either his inventions go awry and someone else fixes his mess, and he’s left unappreciated and scorned for trying. Or he simply gets little attention for the things he has achieved. Not many people really acknowledge his attempts because they always fail. He’s always just been lagging behind Rapunzel and Eugene.

I hear my cue, and yet I’m kept there waiting  Know what to do, and still I stand there waiting  It’s always someone else who sings  While I’m left waiting in the wings

So a lot of what I’ve talked about before applies to this verse. He feels like he can’t do anything without the others. Like he’s always an after thought, in the background. He wants so hard to be seen as an equal, but he’s just a kid. A smart kid wit ha brain a bit too big for his age who tends to rush into things and that leads to destructive aftermaths. 

He wants to jump in, has the mind to help problem solve, but feels like he’s shrugged off by the kingdom and his father for other, brighter stars. 

And so I keep on keepin on  My chances come and then I blink and they’re gone  Always overlooked unfairly  While pretending that it barely stings

This boy. He internalizes so much of his pain. He tries to laugh it off, optimistically “keep on keepin on”, as it were. Yet every time he has a chance to prove himself, he always misses it. Whether it’s him getting ahead of himself, someone else not understanding his work and ruining it, basically any chance he has to really prove himself comes and goes so quickly he can hardly keep up. 

And so he winds up overlooked. Scorned. Hated. He has a horrid reputation, but is always trying to keep going. Especially after becoming friends with Rapunzel. He feels like he really has a chance, so he keeps going. Keeps internalizing. And tries to reassure himself that his time will come some day. 

But it stings, yes it stings, and - 

I wanted this line on its own here. Because let’s talk about this one line. That’s probably one of my favorite lines in this song for Varian. Even before Queen for a Day. It stings. His dad constantly being disappointed in him. People discounting him because he’s small, young, rash, his inventions always blow up in his face. Even though he wants to stay positive and keeps going. Even though he wants to do his best to make his friends and, most importantly, his dad proud of him. He has to fight all the negativity that surrounds him. The POWER here, as Varian’s rushing to try to fix another of his messes, some part of him probably knowing that it wiill probably go wrong somehow, but still wanting to do good. Oof. 

I’ll shed no tears, I’ll only keep on waiting  If no one cheers, well I can keep on waiting  Who cares how loud the silence rings

OKAY We’ll get to the last line of the song in a bit. But I want to talk about THESE THREE LINES. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t mope. He just waits for his moment. He keeps going, and keeps triyng to find that time to shine. No matter how much he gets heckled. No matter how much he’s scorned. No matter how much he feels like no one’s on his side. He keeps pushing forward. Keeps looking for that silver lining. It doesn’t matter if they ignore him. If they avoid him. If they discredit him. 

You’ll find me waiting in the wings

Because he’s always going to be there. Just waiting for his chance. No matter what, even if he’s relegated to the background character relying on Rapunzel. He’s going to find a way to get the praise he feels he deserves. That he absolutely craves from his dad and those around him. Even if he isn’t the star - as much as it hurts to not be able to do anything himself.

Waiting in the Wings (Reprise; Varian Version)

Okay so - The Reprises were the trickiest ones to work into this swap. However, with some thought, I was able to work out how to fit them in. So this is another one where the timeline of the song is the same as where his original song would be in the show. In other words, right as he came in to find Quirin fully encased. I’ll elaborate more on it later, but for now basically imagine the young Cass/Varian parts to be Varian reminiscing on the time when he was younger. Basically slipping back into his feelings as a kid and realizing that nothing has changed. 

Bonus points if you can actually picture the Young Varian reminiscing parts as a tiny Varian left alone in his lab/room reading while Quirin’s out helping the villagers of Old Corona because he’s kind of a village leader-ish?

(Young Varian) Guess by now I oughta know my place Do your humble duty with a smile on your face

I should state. I by no means think Quirin is a bad parent. This is the big separation between the original reprise and Varian’s version. The original was focusing on how intentionally neglectful and emotionally manipulative Gothel was. Here, it’s more the mental state of a young/teenaged boy raised by a single father with a lot of responsibilities and who’s often worried, concerned, and frustrated at his son’s experiments. 

In these lines, Varian is reminiscing on how even when he was younger, he always seemed to defy the expectations his dad had for him. He never learned to stay collected, and wasn’t a leader the way his dad was. Couldn’t just follow along and “do his humble duty” and follow what the kingdom says while smiling and ignoring what he wanted to do. 

My dad knows how much I love him  But he’s always doing other things  So I’ll keep waiting in the wings

The pain. Quirin’s a single father. But he’s also, like I said, sort of the leader of a village. Or at least someone who’s very well-respected within the village. So naturally, he gets called on for a lot of things. He has a lot of problems he has to solve. That on top of the work he has to do in the fields? He doesn’t always have time for his son, as much as he might want to make time. I feel like that would go doubly for the fact that Varian is so clever for his age, Quirin has a hard time keeping up with all his science-y talk and alchemy experiments. So from the time Varian was young, he probably didn’t get much time with his dad. 

So he was left to himself, reading thick alchemy books and Flynn Rider, performing experiments, and hoping that maybe one day his dad wouldn’t be so busy and would pay him a little attention. 

(Varian) I craved so much, and yet I kept on waiting  One glance, one touch, and I just kept on waiting

All he wanted was a sign. He wanted to know that his dad understood, even approved, of the things he did. He still does, even as a teenager. He kept on craving, and craving, and craving. And every little chance he got to spend even a little time with his dad, he hooked onto. Told himself that it was only a matter of time. He always knew his dad loved him, but still felt unappreciated whenever he tried to do something to help. 

(Young Varian & Varian) And when it came, it came with strings

Now this line. This line was hard to pin down. Again, Quirin isn’t gothel. He genuinely loves his son - no strings attached. 

But. Due to how lonely Varian was, and still is. Due to the mind of a child feeling underappreciated and wanting more time with his father. The fact that oftentimes, when Quirin did pay him attention, it was lecturing him about his alchemy. It was disappointment. It was was him seemingly ashamed of all the trouble his rambunctious boy caused. Those strings tied Varian down and kept him striving to get praise and a positive reaction for all the work he did. 

(Varian) So I kept waiting in the wings

So this line. Whereas with Cass it was again, her talking about her relationship with Gothel. With Varian here the line is twofold I think. Though directly, the line could be about how he kept trying so hard to be praised to no avail. It also brings us back to the present. Where he’s kept waiting again - for any kind of help he can get. And knowing he’s just going to get scolded for the problems he caused everyone again. 

So, before moving on to the next song. I want to bring out one big difference between the two reprises at this point in time. So, with the original Let Me Make You Proud reprise. The song was ominous. It was signaling after everything that happened, Varian was in a dark place. It hit us over the head with “your baby boy is going villain now”. But imagine if, instead we were left with this reprise? Varian ruminating on how even now, things haven’t changed from when he was young. He was till holding out hope for that one bit of praise. That one moment to shine. He was still so desperate to please his father, but had failed again, and could only wait on the good graces of the princess. Crying and desperate. No sign of him turning villain, but a heartbreaking place to leave off.  And then we don’t hear from him agian until The Search for Varian, where he’s calling out for help yet again. We’re left hopeful for a reunion between Varian and Raps and for them to make amens. Then, when The Alchemist Returns happens, we’re initially glad to see Varian reaching out. We’re probably on his side when it comes to stealing the flower, because we’ve seen that Quirin hasn’t been the best or most reliable authority. And we want to see Varian get what he wants - free his dad. Rapunzel wants it too, so she agrees to help.  But then, over the course of the episode, we see that’s not the case. We see that he’s been manipulating Rapunzel, he’s doing things the wrong way, and he’s starting to take the wrong path. This is the first warning sign. Then the end of the episode - and Varian’s last song for his arc!

Crossing The Line (Rapunzel & Varian Version)

That’s right! instead of Ready As I’ll Ever Be in Secret of the Sundrop, Varian’s big villain song happens during The Alchemist Returns. The way I see it, Crossing the Line works the same as it does originally. Raps sees a friend going down the wrong path, and tries to talk them out of it. This whole song happens in the room where the sundrop was being kept - and oh boy do some of these lines hit differently if you take Varian into consideration. 

(Rapunzel)  This has to stop now, whatever it is that you’re going through  We’ll face it together, me and you. Just like we’ve always done (Varian)  No! This has to stop now, this thing where you think that you’ve been my friend And don’t even see how you condescend, the way you’ve always done.

Hoo boy. I feel like I should say this out of the gate - Raps is my second favorite character in the series next to Varian. While I do think she has blame for some of the things that happen in the series, and the way two of her good friends turn on her, I don’t think it’s entirely on her shoulders. It’s in the way these two internalize the conflicts (more in common!). The way Varian is treated by the Kingdom in general not Rapunzel, and Cass’ inferiority complex due to her strained relationship with Gothel. 

That said, seeeing the path Varian is going down, Rapunzel wants to try to keep him from going too far. She wants to free Quirin. She wants to help him, and she wants them to be able to do this together. She’s trying to pull Varian back in, and doesn’t want to push him away. She wants to understand what happened and what he’s been going through. 

Varian, however, is having none of it. The way he’s rationalizing things right now, he feels dejected and left behind. He feels like Rapunzel’s just like everyone else, who’s condescended and abandoned him for so long. He’s angry, and at his breaking point. 

(Rapunzel) Varian, listen (Varian: I’m listening) I know it isn’t true (Varian: Isn’t it?) Just look into my eyes, now (Varian: Well?) I know you feel it too (Varian: Perhaps I do)

Rapunzel is steadily trying to get through to him, and it’s working. Varian doesn’t actually hate her. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy. He loves Rapunzel like a sister, and he can see she’s trying to get through. He thinks that, just maybe, she’ll be willing to help him. He’s willing to reach out one more time, and he’s doubting his choices. He has been ever since he found his dad fully encased in amber. 

(Rapunzel) Varian, listen (Varian: I’m listening) I swear it’s not to late  So before another line gets crossed  And everything we’ve had is lost. Just wait.

Cue Rapunzel’s tendency to say the entirely wrong word at the entirely wrong time. She’s almost through to him. She doesn’t want him to take the whole flower. He’s already lied to her, manipulated the whole kingdom. But there’s still a chance to make amends. They can apologize still, make things right, if he just leaves the flower. She doesn’t want to lose their friendship. 

(Varian) Wait? No I won’t wait

But Varian refuses to wait again. He’s already waited. Rapunzel hasn’t kept her word so far, and at this point he can’t take agreeing to be a good boy only to wind up waiting for help that won’t come again. No, he’s going to take matters into his own hands now. 

There’s a line between the winners and the losers  There’s a line between the chosen and the rest 

So this verse is going to be split up into a lot of small pieces - oops. 

This kind of shows the way Varian thinks. He’s always had a bad reputation. He’s always felt like he’s a nobody. Like he’ll never do anything right. And he’s always around people like Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cass. He’s seen the stark contrast between the treatment he gets compared with him. 

They’re the winners. They almost always get what they want. They succeed in their big dreams. Meanwhile always feels like there’s such a wide gap between others and him. While Rapunzel and the others try to bring up and support others to achieve their dreams - Varian, who’s always beaten down, feels that some people just don’t have the luck to win in life.

And I’ve done the best I could, but I always knew just where we stood Me here with the luckless, you there with the blessed

He sees his lot in life. At this point, he’s given into a lot of desperation and negative feelings. He and Rapunzel are on different sides of that gap. He always knew they did. He always seemed to make things go wrong, and Rapunzel and her friends always seemed to fix them. He’s resentful. Rapunzel gets everything. Her happy ending, her friends, her family. Meanwhile he’s left alone to sort things out. 

And that line between the beggars and the choosers  Is a line you never let me quite ignore

THIS LINE. This line. Hits different. You know why? “Rapunzel... I used you! I begged you and this kingdom for help. Everyone turned their back on me! It has to be this way”. He literally begged. He tried, begged to get the kingdom’s help. They weren’t exactly in the right position to help at the time, but to him the inaction alone was the same as  choosing to abandon him. 

This one line was actually one of the driving reasons for this whole post. Because honestly when I first thought about them fitting each other’s songs, and gave them all a new listen with the other in mind. This. Line. Hit me. Like. A truck. He feels abandoned, and like Rapunzel just keeps putting him and his goals on the backburner for everything she wants to do, no matter how much he begs and pleads for her help in his hour of need. Of course, again, it wasn’t really Raps’ choice to throw him out. She does have fault in this, she’s no perfect angel, but I feel there’s plenty of reasons she wouldn’t be able to go straight to him. Varian’s mind, however, is clouded by pain, loss, and resentment. 

How I’ve tried to jump that great divide  But I’ve never got the chances you were given

He’s tried so hard. He wanted to do something himself. He wanted to do something right. He wanted to be seen as on equal footing with Rapunzel and her friends. To be someone who could work with them. For his mind and alchemical know-how to be useful, somehow. 

But all his chances fell flat. Comapred to Rapunzel, who’s lucked out of or worked her way out of every problem she’s faced, Varian just keeps getting dug deeper in. Things just keep going wrong. 

You don’t know how much I’ve been denied Well I’m not being patient anymore

Even before meeting Rapunzel, he had a bad reputation. She doesn’t realize how hard he’s fought, and how hard he’s fallen. She has no idea how hard his life has been. How much he’s been left waiting or struggling or trying to find his way out of the negative image he had in the kingdom. He’s done being patient, he’s done doing things the nice way. He’s going to take matters into his own hands and taking action on his own to try to do something to help. 

I’m crossing the line, and I’m done holding back  So look out, clear the track, it’s my turn I’m taking what’s mine  Every drop, every smidge

So this is a fun verse. The first couple lines don’t really mean much. It’s the same energy as the original Crossing the Line. Varian’s putting his foot down. He’s done listening to everyone else, and he’s going to do things on his own terms. 

“Taking what’s mine” though is a fun line in regards to the Sundrop Flower. If it will save his dad, he’ll take whatever needs. One petal isn’t enough, so he’ll take every bit he can get his hands on. This is his chance. It’s his opportunity to save the day, he finally has it. 

And he’s going to take it. 

If I’m burning a bridge, let it burn  But I’m crossing the line

Okay, so this is simple enough. He’s really making his point here. He’s going full villain, and he doesn’t care right now. He’s getting what he wants in life no matter what he has to do to get it, at this point. He doesn’t care if he loses his friends - he’s made it without friends before. He’s been hated by plenty of people, a few more never hurt. It’s not as important as his dad. 

So this is about where I imagine Eugene, Cass, and the guard coming in.

And for us if we’re over that’s fine  I’m crossing the line

And so the song ends. I feel him looking directly at Raps as he says this. He does care, deep down. He’s scared, and worried. But he tells himself it’s fine and hardens his resolve on the last line. I kind of imagine him throwing down the smoke bomb right after that bit - because it’s too perfect okaaaay? 

So this does unfortunately mean there’s no big showdown musical number for Secret of the Sundrop. But that finale has plenty going for it so I think it’s fine. Unfortunately this setup means Eden won’t get a chance to exercise her singing voice until season 2. But she has plenty of chances to sing after, so ultimately I think it’s fine to let Varian get the spotlight after this. Since he won’t really get another primary singing part outside of an ensemble other than Nothing Left to Lose. 

So, we’re on to season 2 and Cass’ arc! Hope y’all are ready cuz I’ve got some good ones for this one too. Starting with

Let Me Make You Proud (Cassandra Version)

So Cass’ version of Let Me Make You Proud is a bit interesting. Because Varian’s main motivation is making his dad proud and doing right in his eyes. For Cass, taht’s a player - but at this point in the story, and her character arc, this song is more her pleading for Raps to trust her. Yes, her dad and the Corona Royal Guard and her dreams of becoming part of them is another element to it. But go into it with the line that Raps and the group’s trust and respect is first, and her dad and the guard’s is second. 

It happens in the same place as Waiting in the Wings - as the gang is resting in the Great Tree, kind of stewing in her resentment toward Adira and desire to get the attention of the others. 

Maybe I make things a mess And maybe you’re right to have doubts in me Maybe, but nevertheless  If you for once could just trust me

So, Cass is a bit bitter lately. She hates that Rapunzel has been relying on Adira so much, and wants so much for her to rely more on her, like she used to. Sure, those issues have caused her to be snippy and that might have caused some tensions and trouble. Sure, they’ve had their problems, but she just wants Rapunzel to trust her and take her side once. She’s been siding with Adira the whole way through the tree, and though Cass doesn’t trust her, Raps isn’t considering her opinion at all. 

“If you for once could just trust me” I think really sums up Cass’ feelings at this point. She’d thought she’d proven herself. Shown she was capable. But still, Rapunzel keeps leaning to Adira’s logic rather than following Cass. 

Just this once, let me come through for you The way that you want me to

She knows Rapunzel has always been rooting for her. She knows she’s been relied on plenty, and she knows that Rapunzel understands she’s capable. Yet, lately, she’s been so enamored with Adira that she hasn’t given Cass the chance to prove herself, and she hasn’t listened. All she wants is once, one time that she’d let her logic be right and choose her option over Adira’s. She doesn’t want want to be overshadowed. Eugene did great in the wilderness, Adira knows the local area, and she’s falling behind. But she can still do this. 

She wants to be able to protect not just Rapunzel, but all her friends. But Rapunzel is too fixated on not needing to be protected at all. 

Let me make you proud  Let me show you the best in me  Let me give you a reason to believe that I can stand tall

She wants Rapunzel to be proud to call her a friend. She wants to show everyone what she’s capable of. Show them she’s reliable, strong, and that they need to have her around. No more sidelining - she wants to be able to stand among them and say she’s made valuable contributions. That they can give her the chance to be right about something - because she really feels she’s right in distrusting Adira. 

And when we return, and I’m more than you dreamt I’d be Maybe then, you will realize that you never actually knew me at all 

So this can take two forms. It can keep up the Rapunzel route. Basically saying that once this journey is over and they’ve achieved their goals, maybe Rapunzel will see that she had been right all along. In the thick of it, maybe she’ll finally understand that Cass has been struggling and working to protect Rapunzel, but also to be seen as her equal (a funny theme between Cass and Varian. They just want to be equals). 

Rapunzel doesn’t see what Cass wants. She doesn’t understand who Cass is. She’s almost certain she needs to find away to step into her own and get Rapunzel’s attention. And once she’s larger than life after having helped Rapunzel jump hurdles to get to the moonstone - maybe she’ll finally understand. 

Secondarily, it could lead into the small part of Cassandra that still yearns for her dad and the guard’s recognition. After the Varian arc, she’s kind of earned it, but she’s not an official guard yet. She wants this to be her chance to really show her worth and show her dad she’s more than just his daughter - she’s a fighter. 

She wants to be more than he’d ever expected by going on a major adventure like this and coming out on top. This is her big chance in more ways than one. 

Sure I’ve made lots of mistakes I know that I’ve disappointed you  Still though, whatever it takes  I’m gonna fix it just watch me Just you wait, I’ll make it up to you If it’s the last thing I ever do

So I’m lumping a whole verse together here, because it kind of has the same vibes. It’s basically just Cass talking to both Rapunzel and her father. Saying that she knows she’s made mistakes in the past. Both during the first season and up through The Great Tree. She’s messed up. She’s distrustful, she’s caused a lot of trouble, but she’s dedicated and devoted. 

She’s going to show them what she can do, make up for all the mistakes she’s made. She’s going to come around and make everything up to Rapunzel and her dad. Making things up to them and trying to reconcile their differences and show them that she can be trusted. She’s determined to find a way to make it work, and it doesn’t matter what happens as long as she gets through to them. 

She’d do anything if it meant getting Rapunzel and her father’s approval. 

I will make you proud  I will make you have faith in me  I will prove that the way I used to be is all in the past  I will save the day and go back home triumphantly

So this is a big verse. It comes off a bit different with Cassandra than with Varian, I feel. With Varian, he’s being a smol bean determinator here. He’s trying to push back all the trouble he’s caused and problems he’s created and is so determined, he’s saying he’s definitely going to get over this hurdle. 

With Cassandra, I think some of that determinator vibe is still there. But it’s also a little... angry. She’s been shoved off to the side for Adira the last time. She’s at her tipping point, and she’s absolutely going to make Rapunzel listen to her. She wants so hard for Rapunzel to trust her that she’s becoming forceful and angry. But she’s going to prove to Rapunzel, and to everyone, that she’s done taking orders and being overlooked. 

She’s going to be triumphant. She’s going to return home with her head held high and with the respect of thsoe around her. Whatever it takes. She’s going to do it.

Cause I long for that look of surprise when you see that I’m rising at last  The pride in your eyes when you see that I’m rising at last

This is what she wants more than anything. She just wants to be able to achieve her goals. She’s got big ones, but she knows she can do it. And she wants her dad and Rapunzel to understand her. To trust her. To confide in her in a way they just don’t right now. She wants to be a protector, a friend, someone they trust to get things done. 

She knows, that once she’s done with this journey, she’ll have that. And she’s going to have everything she’s always dreamed of. She loves Rapunzel, and her dad, but what she really wants is to rise to a position where she can prove to them that there’s more to her than what they’ve always assumed. 

So we’re swapping out tones here. Varian’s character song is the more somber “waiting in the wings”, and Cass’ is the more hopeful “let me make you proud”. Honestly, I feel like this fits each of them very well. I think the best part of these songs is that they both have balances of both somber and positive moments. But whiel I do think it fits Varian’s more positive personality to be more optimistic and hopeful, while Cass’ cynicism shows through in “waiting in the wings”, I think swapping up the songs brings more to both characters. 

Varian’s a cute, bubbly boy in the beginning, sure. But he had a bad reputation. He’s caused a lot of trouble with his alchemy, and he’s at his breaking point. Cass is a cynic and a realist, sure. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have hopes and dreams of her own. And she loves Rapunzel and her kingdom and wants to protect them so badly - giving her a little optimism I think works out really well. And, like Varian, her hopeful tone is dashed when Rapunzel uses the Decay Incantation again despite her warnings, and she yet again gets shelved for Adira’s and Rapunzel’s judgement. 

She harbors that for a while until eventually, she meets Zhan Tiri in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow. 

Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise; Cassandra Version)

Yeah. This reprise was honestly the bane of my existence planning this out. As I said before, the reprises were the trickiest ones I had to place, and the last two songs I was able to properly figure out a swap for. But this one in particular was really tough, because it’s VERY situational. The lyrics were really hard to work with, but I came up with what I think to be a good workaround for it that really helps bring Cassandra’s reasoning home. 

As compared to the original reprise, which acts as the big moment where the fans figure out Varian is going bad, the fans already know Cass is turning on Rapunzel at this point. So there’s less of a surprise element here. But it really hammers home the emotion in Cassandra when she does step over that line and decide to become a villain. 

So rather than talking to someone specifically here, I feel that Cass is talking more to herself. Rather than the Waiting in the Wings reprise that leads into Zhan Tiri convincing her that she needs to take the Moonstone, this happens after that. It’s just before we come back to the present. 

I will make you proud Get the answers and set you free  Don’t you worry  Whtever it might take, I’m finding a way

So I mentioned Cass was talking to herself here. Rather, she’s talking to the vision of the younger her that Zhan Tiri is showing her. It’s sort of her way of deciding she’s going to make things better and free herself of all the people pleasing and being strung along. She’s tired of playing second fiddle. She’s going to solve this problem, stop playing second fiddle, and do whatever it takes to break free of the pain of being underestimated. 

She’s promising herself, the younger version of her, that she’s done feeling trapped. She’s done waiting. She’s done following along. It’s time to stop doing what’s best for others, and do what’s best for her. 

And I swear right now that no matter what comes of me  Anybody who stands or has stood in my path  They are going to pay.  They. Will. Pay

This is a more aggressive turn than the original Waiting in the Wings reprise. She’s decided from this point on that she’s going to fulfill her own destiny. She’s not going to just follow Rapunzel around to help with hers - she’s going to make this her story. 

And it doesn’t matter who stands in her way. She’s finally going to get what she wants for a change, instead of sitting back and letting others have their way. Everyone is going to pay for underestimating her, and they’re finally going to see what she’s capable of. 

I know this section is a bit short - I’m really sorry about that. But the reprises are short, this one in particular. And the Let Me Make You Proud reprise is fairly straightforward as it is. But dooon’t worry, because I saved a fandom favorite for last

Ready As I’ll Ever Be (Songswap Version)

So this is an ensemble song so it’s not really ANYONE’S version. BUT I think it would really hit differently in Plus Est En Vous, either replacing or not long after Through It All. A big final rallying cry to free Corona from Cass and maybe turn her around - all the while Cass is fighting her own inner battle. 

So let’s get into it. 

(Cassandra) Believe me I know, I’ve sunk pretty low  But whatever I’ve done, you’ve deserved (Zhan Tiri: Cassandra -) (Cassandra: Quiet!) I’m the bad guy, that’s fine  It’s no fault of mine and some justice at last will be served (Zhan Tiri: Just focus)

So I’m sure one big thing stands out here. We all know the original context of Ready As I’ll Ever Be. However, the context in songswap is different. So one key character has changed. Arianna is replaced with Zhan Tiri. Rather than a pleading captive, Zhan Tiri is egging Cass on. She’s trying to get her to do what she wants, and while she’s mostly succeeding, Cass still wants to do things on her terms. 

At this point, she doesn’t care if she’s the bad guy. She might not have considered herself as such before, but now she has to face the facts. Still, if it means getting respect and 

Now it’s time to step up, or it’s time to back down  And there’s only one answer for me  And I’ll stand up and fight, cause I know that I’m right  And I’m ready, I’m ready I’m ready  Ready as I’ll ever be

She’s backed herself into a corner, now. She knows there’s only one thing she can do. There’s no going back and getting the kingdom’s forgiveness, now. They’re against her, and she’s ready to fight back. If they won’t accept her, then she’ll play the role of the villain. 

She knows she wasn’t wrong. She knows this isn’t her fault. They turned on her. She tried to correct things, but the kingdom had already turned on her. She’s come too far to turn back. So she’s ready to do what she has to - defeat Rapunzel and prove herself stronger and better. She’ll be number one for a change. 

(Varian) Now it’s time to rise up, or it’s time to stand down  And the answer is easy to see  Our home will be restored! If you’re in get on board! Are you ready? (Eugene: I’m ready! Lance: We’re ready!) Ready as I’ll ever be

Varian gets to be a charismatic leader yay! He’s working together with Eugene rallying the troops here. After everything he’s done, the people of Corona trust him enough to help fight off Cassandra - and now he’s ready to prove himself once and for all. 

Bonus points: Rather than Eugene and the Royal Guard doing the “We’re ready”s I made it Eugene and Lance. Lance is a more major character here, he can have his own line! Also, rather than the more grim motion of Eugene, Lance and the guard taking up swords. There’s a slightly more optimistic motion of the two of them backing up Varian as he rallies everyone with his infectious optimism. Finally, on Varian’s ‘ready as I’ll ever be’, Quirin places a hand on his shoulder and gives a proud smile cuz his boy is finally proving himself. Need to pack in those redeemed baby feels.

(Frederic) Are you quite sure we can do this? (Rapunzel)  Together we will, guaranteed!

Another one that’s a BIT more hopeful than the original. Not by much. Frederic’s still a worry wart, and their whole kingdom is at stake, after all. However, the whole Royal family is together, and they’re ready to take their kingdom back.  Just a small note in there, since this section doesn’t really change much!

(Cassandra) I’ll make them hear me (Varian) Prove they can trust me (Rapunzel) I’ll save my home and family

So this section was another big reason I made this post. It’s another one of those lines that has me super passionate about this song swap, because think about how different these lines hit at this point in time. Honestly? I think it really works in this context more than the original context. 

Because Cassandra is out to make herself heard. It’s not a revenge plan being concocted out of momentary anger, like Varian. She’s doing this because she felt underappreciated. She’s going to make them hear her. She’s going to make sure that she doesn’t go unrecognized again by proving she’s better than Rapunzel once and for all. 

Meanwhile, Varian’s out to prove himself for real. Compared to the original context of Cass proving herself to her father and the guard - which was huge in season one - the stakes are even bigger here. Varian’s out to prove himself to an entire kingdom. To the people he’s wronged. To show that he’s really turned around, and that he’s someone the kingdom, his friends, and his dad can be proud of. 

Rapunzel’s hits mostly the same. However, right now, the ‘home and family’ line is on a bit of a larger scale. She’s out to save her entire kingdom. And her family - including her friends and subjects. Compared to Varian’s plan that more directly targetted hte royal family, Cassandra and Zhan Tiri are targetting the entire kingdom - and Rapunzel, the little ray of sunshine she is, is determined to protect all of it. Because it’s all her home and everyone in it is like family to her.

(Eugene) And I’m ready  (Varian) I’m ready  (Royal family)  I’m ready (Cassandra) Ready as I’ll ever be

So I omitted the big Ensemble’s part to focus on the smaller “I’m ready”s and the previous three lines here. That doesn’t mean The ensemble isn’t present in these parts. It just means that I didn’t want to focus on them. Their part doesn’t really change the context of the song at all. This part doesn’t, either, really. But I wanted to close the song out cleanly, so you get a proper ending here.  That being said, this project was HUGE. While I wrote up the post itself in the span of a day, I’ve been thinking about this and trying to figure out how each song would work in the different context throughout my work on my current ongoing projects, since the ending of the series. It started as a small epiphany I shared with friends, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it - so here we go. 

Cass and Varian are both amazing. And I think it’s so amazing that their motivations and thought process, though different in certain fundamental ways, align enough for these songs to work no matter which context they’re in. I don’t know if anyone else noticed or thought of this - but it was a blast to write and I’m glad to finally have it on paper.! Thanks for taking the time to read this monster, to everyone who made it all the way through. 

[clintbartonswife]

Family is the best gift

Pairings: Avengers x Reader Summary: You’re shocked to discover that most of the Avengers have not had a proper Christmas for years - if ever. You set out to fix it. @panicfob xmas #20 : Family dinner Notes: sappy fluff, giving them the happiness they deserve, CACW didn't happen, I did way too much research into random stuff for this masterlist  ||  25 days of xmas masterpost  ||  part two 

When you first joined the Avengers, a year after the Ultron fiasco you could see that you were entering one big dysfunctional family. There was no denying that they loved eachother, but they lacked basic trust in their relationships, as if they expected everything to fall apart at any second.

Really, you shouldn't have been so shocked that they didn't have a proper Christmas. 

It would’ve been fine (okay, not fine but you were trying to not be so dramatic here) had they only missed Christmas for the few years since the team had started, but no.

For Tony, Christmas was a time were he showered people closest to him with his wealth. At first you’d been annoyed by this, that is until you figured out the reason why: his shitty parents. Instead of spending time with his son in the holidays, Howard would throw expensive gifts at him before leaving to a fancy party with Maria, leaving Tony alone with Jarvis at home. That shit was not gonna fly with you.

Steve and Bucky, whilst celebrating Christmas with their family, had lived during one of the worst financial times in America’s history. Not to mention that since ‘waking up’ Steve hadn’t celebrated a single thing - birthdays don't count as he had to be literally forced out of his room by Tony every year. When Bucky joined the picture you knew you had to do something for the brainwashed assassin, hoping that maybe the experience would bring him some happiness.

Clint - the circus runaway with an abusive dad, a brother that abandoned him and a bag full of mental issues obviously didn't have such a good childhood, holidays pushed aside in favour of training so that he could escape the next lashing from Trickshot.

Similarly, Natasha’s time with the Red Room left her with a less than stellar childhood. Instead of hot meals surrounded by loved ones she survived years of cold training, lacking empathy and care. When she finally escaped their ranks holidays were obviously not at the top of her list.

The newest arrivals: Pietro and Wanda had it slightly better, living a poor but happy life until … that happened.

Sam, Rhodey, Thor and Vision were just along for the ride, with not-so-tragic childhoods (after all Vision was only shy of a year old) but part of the dysfunctional family nonetheless.

So, when the whole team was called out on a mission a week before Christmas you knew what had to be done. 

The first step of your plan was getting out of the mission, which was a hefty task in of itself. Thankfully you were known to be accident prone, so could easily explain how you had mysteriously twisted an ankle the night before leaving.

Once everyone had gone, you called on Heimdall to send Thor to you. This was the part that you were the most skeptical about, yet within half an hour the blond god had landed on the roof, bringing you into a large hug.

“Lady y/n! What occasion caused you to summon me?”

“Well, you always say that you’d love to learn more about our traditions so I thought you’d like to be here for Christmas”

The god grinned luminously, striding in to the common area with shining eyes.

“Another midgardian tradition! I would be honoured to attend this Christmas celebration”

“Great” you chuckled, directing him to the kitchen, “I’ll start by teaching you about the food”

Thor watched enraptured as you moved around the kitchen, preparing the meal so that it was ready to cook before the team arrived home. 

“What else goes into this celebration?” Thor asked, clapping his hands together.

“Decorations”

You led him to the cardboard box full of ornaments, revealing the bright colours with a smile.

“Aha! These remind me of a celebration that us Asgardians have. During the winter solstice we have Yuletide” Thor explained, picking up a wreath out of the box, “we celebrate my father and the Wild Hunt with a big feast that the whole town is invited to”

You nodded, helping Thor put up the decorations as he gave a quick history lesson of his people.

“What I don’t understand though,” he said, turning to face you, “is the significance of the tree. Is it supposed to represent Yggdrasil?”

“Ah, no. I don’t think that it has one meaning, as every religion seems to attach its own. Christianity sees it as a sign of everlasting life with God, while Pagans use it to represent the spring to come. It’s really up to the owner of the tree to see it how they like”

“Fascinating”

“Ms y/n, the team have completed the mission. ETA an hour and a half”

“Thank you FRIDAY, I’ll start putting the food in the oven”

The groans of the team were the first thing you heard as the doors opened, followed by the ‘oof’ of the sofa cushions as they launched themselves onto them.

“What smells so good?” Sam mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Yeah - Wait - Who decorated?”

Nat was interrupted by Thor, who extravagantly strode into the common room with a wide smile.

“Merry Christmas! Lady y/n and I have made a Yuletide feast for you all”

“Thor?”

“Feast?”

You sniggered quietly, sticking your head out of the kitchen to talk.

“Get your asses to the table so we can feed you. I’ll be damned if y’all miss another Christmas on my watch”

Confused, but seemingly excited, they all dragged themselves to the dining table, watching with wide eyes as you placed the food down.

“I shall get the turkey” Thor announced, looking pleased with himself at the shocked expressions of his teammates.

“This looks amazing, thank you” Clint grinned, already loading his plate with potatoes.

“I don’t know what to say” Tony admitted softly, eyes conveying all the gratitude he wouldn’t say out loud. You just gave him a smile, nodding in understanding.

“I just wanted you all to have a good Christmas. It is a few days early but I know Sam’s going home for the holidays and I didn’t want him to miss it”

As Thor returned with the turkey, a small sound of shock was heard from the two super soldiers, their eyes locked on a dish set in front of them.

“Is this-?”

Steve trailed off, exchanging a glance with Bucky before directing his gaze to you.

You nodded, “I asked FRIDAY what kind of dishes you would’ve had in the 30s, I tried to make it as accurate as possible but some of the ingredients weren’t available-“

You were cut off as Bucky stood up, tugging you into a hug, expressing his thanks.

“It’s really no problem” you beamed, “I just wanted to make everyone feel at home. I also tried making some chicken paprikash for the twins, just in case they didn’t like anything else”

“Everything looks lovely” Rhodey assured, pulling out the seat next to him and gesturing for you to sit, “now sit down so we can all start eating”

You bit down a chuckle as you did as he said, eyes scanning across the table as you did so.

Natasha was silently bickering with Clint over the last of the potatoes, winning as she smacked his hand with the serving spoon causing him to lose his grip on the dish.

Next to her, Sam, Bucky and Steve were all in deep conversation -most likely the two were reminiscing while Sam listened - as they tucked into their food.

The twins were hesitantly trying the stuffing, unsure, whilst Vision explained what was in it.

Tony, Bruce and Rhodey had started some conversation about quantum physics as they ate their chicken, pausing every now and then to enjoy their food.

Which left you and Thor.

“I think we did a pretty good job” you said, smiling at the blond.

“Indeed we did!” He cheered, raising his eggnog in agreement, “and I do like this beverage. Another!”

“Thor no!”

“Sir would like to remind Mr Thor that on Earth we do not smash glasses once their empty”

________________________________________________________________

@patzammit​  @xxloki81xx​  @geeksareunique​  @bangtan-serendipity​

[svmmerdays]

( 01 / muse 2 / cis male & he/him ) contrary to what the campers might tell you, that’s not timothee chalamet. that’s kc thain! this is their 6th year working here and they’re a counselor. they’re 23, and i just found out during ice breakers they’re a sagittarius. at first they might seem pretty oblivious, but they’re actually really creative. when they have down time, you can usually catch them getting high on the roof. try to get to know them for yourself this summer!

MEET THE MUN.  i expect i’ll be able to solve a lot of my problems once my baby brain falls out & my adult brain grows in

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything in my life skjsdkj i feel like all my intros start that way but it’s simply a fact, i cannot tell time. that said i just got off from work so !!! this time i have a bit of an excuse. but omg Anyways, i am v excited for this rp, like i’ve already said in the gc,,, your girls never been to camp so i am LIVING FOR THIS! a bit about me ~cAmP tHEMED~ kinda, i have never actually gone camping but i really wanna go glamping one time so hit me up if you’re interested, whenever i am in the wilderness bugs like to try to fly directly into my eyes and idk why although i do have a theory i was an exterminator in a past life or something and now they’re getting their revenge for the their fallen ancestors yk?? i hate marshmallows because when i was like six some girl told me that gelatin was made of horse hooves and i believed her and i have not really eaten a marshmallow since with the exception of the one time i microwaved a smore in my microwave when i was like eight? but then again when i was really young i used to think god looked like king triton so i’m a gullible hoe y’all i’ll believe anything. but okay i think that’s enough, moving on to the man of the hour, kronk child thain!

BIO. what do people do when they’re not stoned?  drug tw !

 kc was an accident. and honestly, he was probably a bit too aware of that way too early. to start, when kc was conceived kc’s father was married to his mother’s best friend. and well, that’s not usually the kind of thing that you do on purpose. furthermore kc was conceived in a bounce house at his half older brother’s first birthday party. again, not the kind of thing you plan. you might ask how and why kc knows this information, and that would be the third reason why kc knows with absolute surety he was an accident. because his mother has been telling him all of this frankly intimate and scarring information with absolutely no shame pretty much from the moment kc could comprehend the words coming out of her mouth, and honestly likely before that. and well, that isn’t exactly the behavior of a woman who planned to have kids is it. at least not in kc’s mind. 

frankly moira thain has been treating kc like more than a pet than a son pretty much from the moment kc can remember. she didn’t treat him badly by any means. she just wasn’t really a mom. she was a weird older friend who whined until kc made her breakfast and left for days on end to go to music festivals. she was the kind of friend who teased you ruthlessly rather than offering any good advice and embarrassed you just for fun. the kind of friend who shrugged when you asked them for help with your homework and who none of your other friends (or their parents) really liked. honestly, she was kind of a bad friend if kc was honest but he doesn’t know what else to compare her to. for a long, long time his mother, as unusual as she was, was all he had. that was until kc was about seven and he didn’t even have that anymore. 

when kc was seven a lot of shit went down at once. to start, his mother nearly overdosed, and that was the big thing. it was a traumatizing experience overall as that kind of thing would be for a seven year old, but kc would like to think he handled it like a champ. called the police, made sure his mother didn’t choke on her own vomit, and all that. but CPS was called and kc was promptly shipped out to live with a father had never met, which went as well as could be expected (refer to how and when kc was conceived above). kc stayed with them for all of six months, but well, all kc really had to do was breathe to completely ruin their marriage. even if kace was a bit dull at times even he understood that. so he wasn’t surprised when 'the boys trip’ his father took him on ended up just being a complicated ruse to dump him at his grandfather’s house for as long as he could get away with. considering it was near the end of the school year, it was a while.

now at that point as you can imagine kc was pretty drained emotionally. his mother was officially in rehab. his dad didn’t want him around. his stepmother and half siblings treated him like some kind of leper. and all of this happened within less than a year. that’s a lot for anyone to take let alone a seven year old. little kc was filled to the brim with a lot of emotions he didn’t know what to do with so for the most part he had shut down. barely spoke unless spoken to. very rarely smiled or expressed any sort of emotion really. his grandfather played a big part in fixing that. 

grandpa thain lived in a cottage in the forest and worked for a camp not too far from his cabin. he dealt with the upkeep of the grounds during the school year as well as some handyman duties when needed. and for the most part he dragged his grandson along with him as his ‘assistant’. which mostly meant that kc pulled out the weeds his grandfather told him to or passed him the tools he asked for. just simple things like that. but to kc’s surprise he really liked it. he also really liked living with his grandfather in the middle of nowhere and being able to hear the birds in the morning or take naps in fields. 

kc’s father paid for his first summer at dagwood. his half siblings came to the camp as well, in fact they had been coming longer than kc had. however, at the end of the summer, unlike his eager half siblings, kc didn’t want to leave again. dagwood had become this safe have for him of sorts, a place where he was slowly able to heal at his own pace, and he knew the moment he went back to his father’s house he would be returning to an environment he was unwanted. his grandfather made it so he didn’t have to return at all by offering to take kc in permanently. 

it took some time and a lot of legal paperwork but kc’s grandfather ended up becoming his legal guardian. his grandfather home schooled him to the best of his capability during the school year, and during the summer’s kc attended camp dagwood and helped out his grandfather in whatever way he could. he continued to do so even after he turned eighteen, even going as far as to help out in between the online art school classes that he decided to take on a whim. his grandfather regretfully had to retire from dagwood, after working every day since the camps opening day. he retired with a lot of pride and kc is really proud of him honestly, and he has every plan to take his grandfather’s place once he gets promoted from counsellor. his grandfather insists that he doesn’t need to, and that he wants kc to do whatever he wants to do but kc is too stubborn and loyal to hear any of it. he’s determined to continue the legacy his grandfather is so proud of, and stay at the place that brought him so much comfort and peace, even though honestly it’s probably not the best thing for him. it’s honestly probably time for kc to move on to bigger and better things but he hasn’t realized that yet so until then, dagwood it is. 

PERSONALITY. me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

LOYAL. listen if you’re kc’s friend he would die for you and that’s just a fact. he is honestly loyal to fault. he will screw himself over for his friends because he’s dumb. theyt won’t even ask him to do it! he’ll do it anyways! he’s a fool 

STUBBORN. not in an obvious way like generally kc is very flexible, go with the flow? will generally not hold an opinion in most arguments and is pretty happy to follow rather than lead. but when it comes to things that kc is passionate about?? oof. a bulldozer couldn’t move him. he’s a pain in the ass.

OBLIVIOUS. he’s a fool. kc will be the last one to know about his own damn feelings. kc will be the last one to know about anyone else’ feelings too. it could be so obvious. SO SO DAMN OBVIOUS, and yet kc??? has no idea. he’s that scene from juno where juno’s like ‘i like you’ and michael cera’s like ‘as a friend?’ jkdsdjk

CREATIVE. the only thing kc’s good at is creating things. he can make pretty much anything if he puts his mind to it. probably makes his own clothes honestly. can mend and repair yours. just as a weird brain tbh, if you ever want a different perspective on something go to kc because he’ll say something so wild sdjkdfkj 

COMPASSIONATE. a kind boy tbh. wouldn’t hurt a fly. catches spiders in his hands and takes them outside. is a vegetarian. will listen to your problems any time and at least offer help even if he has no idea what to do. 

LAZY. will fall asleep standing up with his eyes open. has fallen asleep on buses and ended up in different states. is terrible when it comes to getting up in the morning. eats his breakfast half asleep every day. like he’s a hard worker when it comes down to it, but if the options are playing with the campers or taking a nap in a warm patch of sun kc knows what he’s choosing... honestly kc is good with little kids but he would vastly prefer his grandfathers job, cause his gramps just worked by himself for the most part, and working with kids is so much more exhausting rip. 

HEADCANNONS. you’re in her dms im daydreaming about her on public transport we are not the same. 

loves all branches of art honestly, is also a big fan of music. can play the guitar, the drums and bass, all skills he mostly picked up on his own while being home schooled by his grandfather. tends to be rather humble about it but he’s actually pretty talented. will play the acoustic guitar by the campfire, is one hundred percent that guy 

when doing art activity counselling kc has the energy of that one pottery guy from tiktok always. like that’s kc straight up. 

has a bunch of tattoos that are mostly doodles that he made himself, sometimes doodles his friends have made too if he likes them enough. will put pretty much anything on body and tends to think of it as his canvas. wants to be that old man covered head to toe in tats by the time he’s ninety. 

has been stung by wasps on fourteen different occasions over the years. literally kc has been stung every summer since he’s come here and it’s pretty much tradition at this point. like he hates it, but if too long goes by without him being stung he starts to get paranoid. 

loves to climb things like trees and buildings. chills out in the branches/on top of roofs a LOT. would be the guy to fall asleep in a hammock and get a mustache drawn on his face by the campers. honestly that has probably happened. 

jewish! kc’s religion wasn’t really a big part of his life when he was living with his mother but by the time he moved in with his grandfather that changed. they go to the synagogue together and everything even if it’s a bit out of the way. 

might be narcoleptic honestly. is sleeping 99% of the time. if you don’t know where kc is check his bed tbh

will never tell anyone what kc stands for honestly, he thinks it’s amusing for people to guess. will answer to any version of k____ c____ you call him though. also accepts kace which is just a nickname for a pair of initials but skjsdm still he will answer to it 

a hard worker even if he doesn’t look it. weirdly functional while working high? kc is one of those people who you never know is high cause he just acts as he normally does for the most part. 

that said he is the most focused and like alert when drawing or painting or doing anything with his hands. takes his art incredibly seriously. has probably drawn up a mural for the camp, and literally stayed up three days and three nights to do it. very talented but doesn’t really think he’s talented enough to do anything with it? could get into art school if he tried, but he’s too loyal to ever leave his grandfather or the camp behind to do it. 

very good at wood working surprisingly. this boy will make you a sexy ass chair. honestly kc is one of the those frustrating people who like you show him how to do something creative one time and he’s got it, his brain has tapped into it, he remembers. but don’t worry, give him one math problem and he completely shuts down sdkjsdjk 

hates wearing shoes. will take his shoes off the moment he has the opportunity. straight up leaves his shoes places and then’ll be like ??? fuck where did i put those ??? 

can cook surprisingly well. makes bomb weed brownies but like just in general kace makes good food. always forgets to grocery shop until his fridge is empty though

dresses like a hippie. his general aesthetic makes it look like he was in nineties movie. wears wire rimmed glasses because they were his grandfather’s and he’s too broke to buy new frames. most hipsters see him and are like !!! cause they think he’s one of them but kc knows nothing about movies or coffee or like... anything but art really so they’re pretty quickly disappointed. 

used to have hella long hair when he was younger, like he was usually picked on for looking kind of girly because of it. didn’t really care that much, or at least convinced himself he didn’t really care that much eventually. was glad when he got home schooled though cause at least then he didn’t have to deal with that anymore, 

has a scar through his eyebrow from when he fell out of a tree his first summer. 

has several ear piercings. 

i forgot to mention, kc’s mother used to be a drug dealer before her overdose but he doesn’t really know what she does now. he doesn’t talk to her very often but he talks to his dad even less. whenever his mom contacts him it’s cause she’s gotten out of rehab and needs money. kc will usually give it to her because he’s soft. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  it takes me 3-7 business days to process my feelings

i am so tired so we’re doing this in a blob but i would love LOVE some exes from summers past, some ex flings, his first bf/gf, idk his first kiss would also be cool, someone who hates him like maybe an enemy or an old rival of some sort? an old stupid rivalry from when they were campers that they still can’t let go of now? just sayin. uh, an fwb or ewb situation maybe, another childhood friend would be cute, an opposites attract situation like i would love for kc to have a dynamic with someone who really has their shit together yk like completely different from his sleepy ass, a smoking buddy maybe! a family friend! godsibling! first love! someone who kc accidentally set on fire with a flaming marshmallow when they were thirteen! anything and everything please and thank you. 

[mind-reader1]

My Promise (Part 2/3)

A/N: This was meant to be just a sequel but it was so long that I’ve broken the sequel into the two parts. Sorry in advance!

Warnings: Angst, some cursing

Word Count: 5,015 (oof, sorry it’s so long)

Recap: Taylor made a deal with Vannu on the rooftop during the final battle with Rourke. One year and a day, that was all the time she had with Jake before she had to return to Vaanu. Shortly after their deal, she discovered she was pregnant, leaving Jake with a little girl, who he named Aurora after his forever sleeping princess, her mother. This picks up after Taylor leaves. 

You can read part 1 here and part 3 here!

It had been three years since Taylor gave herself up to Vaanu, three years since she’d left him with the most precious gift of all, his daughter. It was the anniversary of her leaving, just after Aurora’s birthday, the group had planned to meet on La Huerta this year, to celebrate Taylor, normally Jake would find a babysitter, maybe ask his parents to watch her, but it didn’t feel right to leave her this year. Aurora helped him feel closer to Taylor than anyone or anything ever could, besides, she was always asking about her mom, it felt right bringing her along this year. 

 Aurora bounced excitedly in the co-pilot chair of Delilah, an old helmet of Jake’s sliding on her head, far too big for the little girl, but she didn’t care, she was just like her Daddy. Even had a similar outfit too, a green bomber jacket with a black sparkly T-shirt and jeans, and a pair of black spiked combat boots. She’d insisted on having an outfit just like her Daddy and so Jake obliged, he was wrapped around her tiny little finger. 

 “Is this where you met Mommy?” Was the very first question out of her mouth once she was in the cockpit, she knew her Dad was a pilot and knew from their friends that her Mom and Jake had met on the plane, but she still loved the princess story, easily imagining how it could be the front of a carriage. 

 “Yeah, it is Squirt. I was taking a nap right here.” He sat down and kicked his feet up, pretending to sleep while Aurora shook him. 

 “Daddy! Wake up! No naps, silly.” She giggled as he opened an eye and glanced down at her.

 “Fine, I guess I’ll stay awake for you.” She cheered and watched him intently until she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer and fell asleep on the long flight to Costa Rica where he’d be picking up the rest of the group. Aurora slept until they landed on the island, stirring as Jake picked her up and rest her head on his shoulder, carrying her and their bags up to the hotel. He settled into the suite he had picked originally, it was dusty, unused with the exception of one or two times by him before he moved into the honeymoon suite with Taylor. He couldn’t go back to their room, for one the window had never been fixed and it was trashed, but also there were too many memories there, he thought about showing her their house where she was born, but he wasn’t sure he could face that either and it was a long journey, one she probably couldn’t handle yet. 

 “Daddy?” She rubbed her sleepy eyes and sat up in bed looking around. 

 “Hey Squirt, we’re here.” He whispered, sitting next to her and brushing her hair back from her face. 

 “Is this yours and Mommy’s room?” He smiled softly and laid down beside her. 

 “No this is my room, from before Mommy and I were together.” She nodded and settled back in beside him, cuddling her favorite princess doll. Jake rubbed her cheek until she fell asleep, fighting his own heavy eyelids, but eventually giving in, falling into a fitful sleep as he was haunted by thoughts of Taylor. 

 The next day Aurora was up bright and early before Jake, running around harassing their friends as they took shifts watching her so they could all drink their coffee in peace. He momentarily panicked until he heard her bubbly laughter floating down the hall before there was a soft knock and the door flew open. 

 “Wake up Daddy! Wake up!” She jumped on the bed before landing on him making him groan in pain. Now that she’d gotten bigger, it wasn’t as cute when she jumped on him full force. 

 “The little twerp is anxious and ready to go,” Zahra announced handing him a cup of coffee he gratefully took. Everyone knew that returning to the island was hardest on him, Zahra could tell he hadn’t slept well by the bags under his eyes. 

 “Thanks, I’ll be down in a minute.” Aurora had wanted to play on the beach and since they didn’t have any plans before their annual bonfire, later today, he decided to take her down there and relax. His favorite hammock was already set up, he settled in with a clear view of Aurora building a sandcastle. Diego slowly sidled up next to Jake and glanced down at him, asking with his eyes if he could take a seat next to him. Jake sat up and shifted over, letting him take a seat, they’d both lost their best friend, Diego was the only one who had some kind of idea of what he was going through. They sat in silence for a long time, just watching Aurora and the waves. 

 “How are you doing?” Diego whispered. Jake sighed and dragged a hand down his face. 

 “It never gets easier, it’s good having Squirt here though. She wants to know everything about her mom, asks me all sorts of questions.” Diego chuckled, he was all too familiar with the chatty nature of the little girl.

 “She’s a good mix of both of you, you’re doing an amazing job, Jake. Tay would be so proud of you.” Jake nodded and swallowed hard fighting back tears, Aurora had filled most of the void in his heart, but there was always still a little piece missing that she just couldn’t fill, that no one could. He hadn’t even tried dating again despite his friends and family pushing him to do so. He wasn’t ready, and he didn’t want to bring a bunch of strange women around Aurora, he didn’t want to confuse her and he would never let someone take Taylor’s place as her mom. 

 “She’s perfect.” Jake sighed and looked up at his little girl, frowning when he saw her talking, she wasn’t one to talk to herself or have imaginary friends. She pretended to talk to her stuffed animals and dolls, but that was it. Jake stood up and took a step closer, it was then he saw the translucent figure, sitting across from her, shifting with the moving light as she talked to it. 

 “Aurora!” He’d recognize that figure anywhere, he raced down the sand toward her as fast as his legs could move, almost tripping a few times where it was so thick. 

 “Jake?” Diego stood behind him and didn’t realize what the problem was until he saw the figure that had sent Jake into a panic, Diego scrambled out of the hammock to get back to the hotel and warn the others. Aurora turned to look back at her dad confused, he never used her name unless she was in trouble or he was scared about something. 

 “Daddy! This is-“ 

 “I know who it is Baby, get away from it.” He scooped her up in his arms and warily watched the figure, it seemed smaller, Aurora’s size, and it was visibly upset as Jake backed away. 

 “Daddy stop! That’s my brother.” She beat on his chest and Jake stopped, frowning in confusion at her. 

 “No sweetie, that’s not possible. Mommy had to leave when you were just a little itty bitty baby. There’s no way you have a brother.” Jake fought back tears but they spilled anyways, he would have loved to have a son, someone for Aurora to grow up with and play with, but that wasn’t possible. 

 “Yes, it is Daddy!” She fought him tooth and nail but Jake refused to let go, he turned back and watched as another translucent figure appeared beside the other, this one was much larger and scooped the other up in a protective manner, similar to how Jake held Aurora. He couldn’t believe his eyes, Vaanu had never separated like that, this was cruel, even for Vaanu. He couldn’t look away though, he took a step closer, and then another, and then another. He felt drawn into it, the closer he got the more connected he felt, the more he could feel his heart finally mending, it was then he realized the larger figure was female. He squinted and took a few more steps, he was only a few feet from it now, the others gathered at the edge of the beach watching this unfold.

 “Taylor?” The thing shimmered and began shifting again, Jake stumbled back, keeping Aurora hidden from view as he watched the things manifest into people starting with the feet. The child was whole first and Jake was staring at the spitting image of himself, the child’s bright blue eyes were clearly Taylor’s though, there was no mistaking it. Jake was frozen as he watched the other person manifest completely, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Taylor was standing there holding a toddler about Aurora’s age, and there was no denying that he was Jake’s son. 

 “Princess?” Jake stammered out. She nodded and began crying, Jake rushed forward with Aurora still in his arms and slammed into her, pulling her close as he cried into her hair, breathing in her familiar scent, never wanting to let go. 

 “Daddy you’re squishing me!” Aurora whined, forcing Jake to let go. He set Aurora down and she scrambled behind his legs, staring up at the beautiful woman in front of her. The little boy had said he was her brother, but that would make the pretty lady her mom. She’d only ever seen one picture of her and so Aurora wasn’t sure. 

 “Is it really you? How?” 

 “I have so much to tell you, Jake. First, there’s someone you guys need to meet. Jake, Aurora,” Taylor smiled at the suddenly shy little girl behind Jake’s legs, in awe of how beautiful she was, “this is Michael Lucas McKenzie, your son, and your brother.” Jake felt dizzy and light-headed, he had a son, Taylor was standing in front of them with their son. He was forced back to reality as the little boy reached out for him. 

 “Daddy?” Jake began crying again and took the little boy from Taylor’s arms, squeezing him tight as the boy latched onto his neck, he already loved him so much that it scared Jake. 

 “Daddy is that Mommy?” Aurora whispered, tugging on his pants leg. 

 “Yeah, Sweetie. I’m your Mommy. You probably don’t remember me, you were so little when I left. You’re beautiful though, just like I remember. I missed you so much.” Taylor cried, squatting down in front of the little girl who cautiously walked up to her, looking back to Jake unsure. He nodded, encouraging her but the little girl didn’t move. 

 “Why don’t you tell her how we met Princess, that’s her favorite story.” Taylor chuckled and looked up at Jake before focusing on Aurora. 

 “Well, your Daddy was taking me and a group of our friends to this fancy island. I got worried and so when I went to check on him, I found him taking a nap! I woke him up and he didn’t like that very much so he said ‘don’t you know it’s rude to wake someone when they’re napping Princess.’” Taylor didn’t get to finish her story before Aurora launched herself into Taylor’s arms, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, satisfied that this was her mom. Jake moved next to her and wrapped his free arm around Taylor’s shoulders as the family finally reunited for the first time. The rest of the group watched from the beach in stunned silence at what was happening in front of them, mixed feelings coursing through them. They all wanted to see Taylor again, but they didn’t want to interrupt her moment with her family, they also wanted to know where the second kid had come from, and what this meant for Jake, how long she’d be back. 

 The four of them sat there holding each other until the sun began going down. 

 “Let’s go inside, get you guys some jackets, we have a lot to talk about.” Tay chuckled incredulously. 

 “Boy do we ever.” 

 “Should the kids be here for it?” He whispered, watching them play with each other just a few feet from them. She sighed and shook her head. They walked up to the rest of the group who watched quietly, respecting their space. 

 “Diego, can you watch the kids, Tay and I have some things to discuss in private.” Normally someone would make a witty joke about what talking meant, but they could tell by Taylor’s somber look that it wasn’t that kind of talking. They wandered up to his room and Tay sighed, looking around and breathing in his familiar scent as he sat down next to her on the bed. She curled up in his arms and let the comforting feeling of his embrace wash over her, she’d missed it, him, so much. 

 “God, I have so many questions, Princess, I don’t even know where to start. I also want to kiss you so bad, throw you back onto this bed and never let you leave. That look in your eyes tells me that ain’t possible though, I don’t know that I can stand to lose you again Princess.” Taylor cried at his words, Jake fighting his own. 

 “I’m so sorry Jake, so so sorry. I understand if you hate me, but I wouldn’t change a single thing. You and Aurora have a life now.” He shushed her gently and ran his hand down her hair and back trying to soothe her. 

 “I know Princess, I know.” He whispered. When she finally calmed down, Jake pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, steeling his nerves to ask his first question. 

 “How is...I mean...Michael.” He wasn’t quite sure how to word it, he knew how babies were made, but he didn’t understand how he was alive since Taylor had gone with Vaanu. 

 “Our anniversary, none of us knew when Vaanu took me that night. I stayed in this form and he didn’t know why, until the pull to you grew with my belly. Mike is more human than anything, and that part of him was drawn to you. Between that and our desire to see each other again, Vaanu couldn’t take it anymore and sent me back.” 

 “Why now? Why not when you found out? Why put us through all that?” Taylor sighed and Jake knew it wasn’t going to be a good answer.

 “He’s still not complete without me, but he can survive without the little pieces inside of Aurora and Mike. Mike gets to stay down here with you and Aurora, but I have to go back.” Jake felt his blood boiling, it wasn’t fair that Taylor had to stay behind, forced to watch her children grow up without her and Jake grow old alone. It wasn’t fair that he was forced to be a dad with no one to help him, no one to share those milestone memories with. 

 “That’s bullshit, Taylor! It’s not fair! Why can’t you stay? I can’t do this alone!” 

 “Jake, our daughter is beautiful inside and out because of you, I know you’re going to make sure both our children become the best they can be. You’re an incredible dad, it has been such a privilege watching you.” He stood up and hit a vase next to him, sending it flying into the wall. 

 “You should be here with me, raising them with me Princess. Our kids should know who their mother is! Aurora barely even recognized you. That’s not fair to any of us.” 

 “I know Jake! Trust me! Having to watch from the shadows is the hardest thing I’ve ever done! I don’t want to fight about this, nothing’s going to change, but I do have something that will ease that pain a little.” 

 “What?” 

 “It’s kind of an um, agreement with Vaanu, much like my first one. I get to come back for the kid's birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, every year.” Jake searched her eyes, not believing what he was hearing, it seemed so generous on Vaanu’s part considering how selfish he had been, he would take any time with Taylor he had though. 

“So how long are you here this time?” He whispered. 

 “Mike’s birthday is in two weeks. I leave that night.” 

 “How did you get him to agree to this?” 

 “He can sense my pain Jake, he can sense how much I miss you all, he hopes that giving me some time with my family will ease that pain some.” He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. 

 “This is our life now. Seeing each other four times a year? This isn’t a marriage Taylor! It’s a fucking joke. I know it’s not your fault, but god I hate it!” 

 “Maybe you should find someone else then. Someone who can give you the love you deserve.” He spun around shocked by her words. 

 “You don’t seriously mean that?” 

 “I do Jake. We promised each other a year and a day and our souls are forever linked. We have children, there is no separating us no matter what. You deserve to have a partner in life who can be there all the time and love you as much as I do, please Jake. It’s the one thing I want for you.” He shook his head in disbelief, he didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to even think about it. He walked out of the room, done with the conversation and Taylor chased after him. 

 “We should check on the kids.” He said cooly, this isn’t at all how either of them imagined their reunion going. 

 They re-joined the bonfire and her kids clung to her as her friends told her about everything she had missed in their lives. Marriage, kids, new jobs, finishing school, her head was spinning with how much they’d done. She excused herself to get some air, sitting down in the sand, she started to build a sandcastle with Aurora and Mike. The two were wary of each other at first, but they ended up taking to each other well as if no time apart had passed at all. 

 “Can I join you?” She recognized Jake’s gruff voice behind her and she sighed, he hadn’t spoken to her since their fight earlier. She patted the sand beside her wordlessly and he sat, watching Aurora spin a wild tale of a prince and princess living in the castle, just like their Mommy and Daddy. 

 “I’m sorry about earlier Jake, I shouldn’t have dropped it all on you like that.”  

 “I’m sorry too, Princess, I just missed you so much and to hear you say that…none of this is easy.” 

 “I know. We’ll figure it out, Jake.” They sat in silence for a moment, their shoulders brushing ever so lightly, the sensation still sent shivers down their spines. 

 “Tell me about Mike.” Taylor cracked a small smile and watched her son giggling with unbridled joy. Aurora was the first kid he’d ever actually met, he’d only ever been able to watch and play with Taylor, it was good for him to be around other kids. 

 “I don’t even know where to begin… he was the best thing to happen to me after Vaanu took me. He’s such a goofball, he loves to play and laugh, he’s chatty too, like you wouldn’t even believe.” Jake chuckled and nodded. 

 “Squirt is too. Oh, I mean Aurora, sorry.” Jake rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, realizing she didn’t know he’d taken to calling her that. 

 “Why Squirt?” Jake shrugged.

 “Her favorite movie, besides every princess movie ever made, was Finding Nemo. She’s a natural fish too, loves the water.” Taylor chuckled and watched her little girl, a pang in her heart as she realized she had missed and would continue to miss out on so many things in her daughter's life, her first child. 

“Mike doesn’t know how to swim… there’s not exactly any water where we were. He loves to climb though, anything that looks climbable he’s there. We kept an eye on you and Aurora, he loves you so much already Jake. He couldn’t wait to meet his Daddy.” Taylor’s voice faltered as she choked on her tears, Jake looked over at her and pulled her close and she leaned her head on his shoulder. 

 “I love him too, Princess. I love all of you, my sweet little family.” 

 “But our daughter doesn’t even know me, Jake. I saw her outfit, she looks up to you so much, so enamored with her daddy, both of them are. I’m just a stranger to her and Mike’s going to forget me too eventually.” 

 “I would never let that happen, Taylor. You know her favorite outfit is this princess dress Becks bought her. She says that she feels like a princess, just like her mommy anytime she wears it. I can already tell Mike is a mama's boy, the way he latches onto you, trust me, Princess, they’re never gonna forget you. We’ll take pictures and I’ll put them up all over the house.” 

 “Thank you, Jake.” She whispered, nuzzling into his side as the bonfire continued around them. After a few days at the reunion, it was time to go home. Jake dropped everyone off in Costa Rica before flying his family back home, taking Taylor to his new house. They spent every day together with the kids, trying to soak it all in, Jake even invited his family over to finally meet Mike and Taylor. Jake had told them the story, but they never fully believed him until they met Taylor, they thought Jake had hooked up with a girl and she had left him with a kid. The days seemed to fly by and before they knew it, Mike’s birthday was here, their last day together, they decided to take them to the park. 

 Taylor watched her kids playing together, so carefree and happy, not quite yet understanding the gravity of the situation the family found themselves in. They knew Mommy only came to visit a few times a year, Mike had a better understanding since he had lived with her and Vaanu for three years, they didn’t understand why Mommy always looked the same though, unlike them who seemed a little different every year on their birthday when they saw her. Jake’s hand gently ran up and down her back, a crooked smile on his face as he stole a glance at her, all he’d ever wanted was a happy little family together, and she’d almost been able to give that to him. She feared for the future though, and what it meant for them, letting her mind wander to what it would look like. 

*********************************

 The kids were forced to grow up so much faster than they should’ve, parents, teachers, other children whispering about where their mom was. Jake always told them the same thing, she was a government agent who was working on top-secret things overseas, even he wasn’t allowed to know where or what, but she always made it home for their birthdays and holidays. People began to wonder though, some thought she was in rehab, some thought she had just walked out and Jake didn’t have the heart to tell his kids, some thought she was in a mental institution and only got certain days to visit. Others thought she was dead and Jake didn’t have the heart to tell his kids. The one thing they all agreed on was that he was a dedicated dad who loved his kids more than anything on this Earth and that he was a doting husband, never taking his ring off despite his wife’s seemingly permanent absence. It wasn’t until people actually met, saw what an incredible and devoted mother and wife she was that they started to consider his story. Of course, people also began to notice and whisper as Jake got older but Taylor stayed forever young and beautiful as if she was stuck at 22. It got to be too much and they moved, somewhere nobody knew them, where the whispers wouldn’t follow. Instead, people whispered about their seemingly large age difference, how old was she when their kids were born, the scandalous rumors spread like wildfire. 

 The day finally came when Taylor had enough, she could remember the fight vividly and she hated that it was a conversation they even needed to have.

 “We can’t keep introducing ourselves as husband and wife, Jake! We can’t tell people that I’m Aurora and Mike’s mother!” She screamed, tears flowing down her face as she tangled her hands in her hair, frustrated beyond belief.

 “Why the hell not, Taylor? Screw what everyone else thinks! I love you and I’m proud of it, and our beautiful family! I’m not going to let some bored housewives get in the way of that.” She shook her head.

 “Our children hardly have any friends, Jake! They think you’re a predator and don’t want their children near you! It’s not fair to you or them. I love you with all of my heart and I love our children more than anything, it’s why we have to fix this.” 

 “What do you propose we do? Hm? Move to a deserted island like La Huerta and live there? That’s exactly what you didn’t want for us! Am I supposed to keep you hidden here during the limited time we have with you? I don’t see a solution, Taylor!” She could see the frustration boiling inside of him, his neck turned red, the vein in his forehead bulging, his eyes glassy from the tears threatening to spill.

“They’re 15 now Jake, they’re going to start dating soon, I can’t look as old as the people they’re dating. We can tell people I’m your daughter, you had me when you were young. I only visit for my sibling's birthdays and holidays because I’m at school for the rest of the time. People will believe it.” She whispered and instantly regretted it. Jake’s face fell as did the tears from his eyes, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It would change everything, turn their life upside down. 

 “You can’t mean that.” Her silence told him everything, she was dead serious. 

 “It’s the only way, Jake.” He shook his head violently at a loss for words. 

 “I won’t be able to kiss you, to hold your hand, to whisper things in your ear that make you smile. I’ll have to pretend that the sight of you in mom jeans and my t-shirt tucked in at the front doesn’t turn me on. What am I supposed to say about my wife? Are you supposed to be dead now? A tragic accident? What about our kids! They have to pretend their mom is their older sibling and watch their friends drool over you? You can’t be my princess anymore!” His last words cut her so deep she really thought her heart might break into a million pieces, that would always be their thing, she would always be his princess, so she had thought. She knew what he meant though, he couldn’t call her that and pretend she was his daughter at the same time, the meaning it held to them, the way he said it...it wasn’t what fathers and daughters do. 

 “I don’t like it any more than you, Jake! It’s just how it has to be now!” They heard a soft gasp behind them and turned to realize they’d left the door cracked, the kids standing there listening to everything as tears stained their cheeks.    

 “Squirt, Monkey. I’m sorry, I- your mom and I were just...talking about some things. Come here.” They cautiously opened the door and clung to their father, finding comfort in his tight embrace. 

 “I understand Mom.” Aurora finally came over to Taylor and hugged her tightly, they almost looked like twins the older Aurora got. 

 “You’ll always be our mom, no matter what the rest of the world thinks.” Mike came over and they both wrapped her in a big hug as she sobbed and held them close, kissing the tops of their heads gently. It wasn’t fair to put any of them through this. 

 Pretending to be Jake’s daughter was quite possibly the hardest thing Taylor had ever done until it came time to change the story again. She had to pretend to be her own children’s daughter, to be Jake’s granddaughter. He had aged well she thought, he still had a full head of hair, only it had turned white and wasn’t nearly as shaggy as his younger days. Freckles and wrinkles intermixed on his face, but his eyes still sparkled as bright as the day she married him and made him a father. His once strong muscles had weakened, but he still liked to pretend he was a tough proud Navy pilot. Really he’d become an even bigger softie, spoiling his grandkids even though they weren’t little children anymore. It took them a while to understand that Taylor was also their grandma and that she didn’t age like Grandpa. Taylor hated to watch him grow old without her, they were supposed to be on their porch together in Louisiana, sitting in matching rocking chairs, watching the sunset together as they held each other’s hands, giving each other shit for their gray hair. 

Taylor wasn’t even by his side when he went peacefully in his sleep, she didn’t find out until she came back for her kids birthdays and it devastated her, a piece of her was missing, she’d never felt such intense pain in her life, and she didn’t think she ever would again. She was wrong though, as she watched her own children grow old, and had to pretend to be their grandchildren, she thought it would destroy her. You understand that you’ll lose your parents and maybe even your spouse in a lifetime, but nothing ever prepares you for losing a child. 

Tagging:  @brightpinkpeppercorn @sleepwalkingelite @ooo-barff-ooo @endlessly-searching-for-you @agent-bossypants @roonarific @likethetailofacomet @zaffrenotes @mysteli @vickypoochoices @kayann9 @jlouise88 @zigortega4life @findingdrake @drakesensworld  @endlesstaylormckenzie @sophie-summer @feartheendlesssummer @darley1101 @emomoustache​ @xo-endlessmayhem-xo​ PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE REMOVED! 

[kingdomofkitten]

The Wedding: Part 7: The Build-Up

*it is finally the big day, as everyone is getting the wedding ready to go. With the two parties, they’re getting themselves dressed up*

Retsuko: *setting up her veil* ….I don’t know, it doesn’t look quite right. Looks a little crooked.

Tsunoda: Oh, NOW you’re worried about how good things look.

Retsuko: Hey, it’s different when it’s on you!

Rie: Honey, relax. You look great!

Hiroko: Yeah! Chill a bit, my bro will love ya no matter what!

Retsuko: ….well, yeah. That part I know for certain.

Harumi: So you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Retsuko: Yeah….heh.

Riko: What’s up?

Retsuko: I don’t know. Just...something about Haida, and Ryuu...kinda makes me think about Ikari a little bit.

Hiroko: ...huh?

Retsuko: Er, nothing! I-I’ll chat with Haida about it later.

Harumi: Oh. Um, alright.

Retsuko: Yeah….um, what time is it?

Tsunoda: *checks phone* It is-*GASP!* We need to get a move on! We don’t have much time!

Retsuko: UH, a-alright!

Rie: Just put a little lipstick on, you look fine otherwise!

Retsuko: Uh, right! *gets lipstick on her mouth* ...I wonder if Haida’s stressing out as much.

*MEANWHILE!*

Haida: *setting up his tie* ...so, how do I look?

Ryuu: Oof, you SURE this guy’s gonna be my brother-in-law, dad? *snickers*

Haida: H-hey!

Ryota: Ah, all in good fun!

Ookami: Being real, you look about as good as a groom could probably look.

Hisoka: You look great, son…*sniff*

Haida: Aw, dad, c’mon, not now!

Hisoka: S-sorry! Just...oh, my son’s about to get married, I feel like I need to shed a few tears!

Ryota: Don’t feel too bad, I’m probably going to be crying a ton giving my baby girl away...er, happy tears, rest assured.

Haida: Heh, thanks.

Ryota: ...er, listen, Haida. I know, I probably shouldn’t be one to talk about this, given...well, some of the stuff I’ve done, but...treat her well, okay? Treat her the way a good man treats his wife.

Haida: O-of course, sir! I will try to make sure I treat your daughter with the utmost respect and dignity!

Ryota: *chuckles* I don’t think she’ll care so much for that, I think she just wants to be loved!

Haida: Well, I will love her until the end of time.

Ryota: Wonderful.

Ryuu: ...I, uh, I wish you two all the best...brother.

Haida: Hehe, dude, you’re still uncomfortable? I thought you warmed up!

Ryuu: It’s all still a little much for me, I’m just trying to take it all in.

Haida: Ah. Well, maybe some time soon, you and I can hang out again, do some more brother-in-law bonding, huh?

Ryuu: ...alright. :)

Haida: Awesome!

Fenneko: *opens the door* Is the dum-dum ready to go, or do we need to wait another five hours?

Haida: Er, just about, Fenneko!

Fenneko: Alrighty. If you guys wanna go out to the lobby, I’ll make sure Haida didn’t forget anything. Spoilers, he probably did.

Ryota: Very well.

Hisoka: *pats Haida on the back* See you out there, sport!

Haida: Thanks, dad! *they leave, with he and Fenneko the only ones there* So, did I miss anything?

Fenneko: Let’s see...ah. *fixes his collar* There. Now you look something vaguely resembling presentable.

Haida: Hahahaha. *Fenneko goes over to check on herself in the mirror* ...say, can I ask you something?

Fenneko: I dunno, CAN you?

Haida: No, being serious here...why ARE you so hellbent on me and Retsuko being a thing? Like, you tried to help in the hospital, you were quick to help me figure out Retsuko wasn’t going out with someone, you even helped us try to calm down Ryuu. You just overall seemed to want us to be together. Even willing to pay for the wedding! Seemed kinda...weird, I dunno.

Fenneko: …….you….you really want to know?

Haida: ...what, is there something to it?

Fenneko: Erm...kinda…….look, what I’m about to tell you? It does NOT leave this room. Under any circumstances. Got it?

Haida: S-sure! No problem!

Fenneko: Okay. So…..when you and I first met…….I MIGHT had gotten a bit of a crush on ya?

Haida: ...what?

Fenneko: I should also emphasize HAD. It’s dead now. But yeah, for a brief time, you were actually the one thing that warmed up my cold, black heart.

Haida: ...h….how long did this happen?

Fenneko: Erm, not too terribly long. I think over time, I quickly started just seeing you as a good buddy, more than anything. Pretty sure the first time I saw Tsunoda as a hot piece of ass was the final nail on the coffin.

Haida: I...huh….so, how does that correlate to-

Fenneko: I’m getting there, you impatient Ingrid. :3

Haida: Right, sorry.

Fenneko: I kinda just happened to notice you crushing hard on Retsuko, and sort of figuring out stuff between you two, and...well, realized you two would actually be pretty badass together. So, I wanted to see you two happy together more than anything. Like, that’s kinda my high...in fact, it actually kinda reminded me of something you told me.

Haida: Yeah?

Fenneko: When you and Retsuko actually started getting real serious in the relationship, I remember you being just so awestruck by how much you genuinely loved her. Like, whenever we got the time, and the alcohol in our systems, you would just list off every single wonderful thing about her you could think of. And I remember this one day, this one fucking day, you said this thing that, at the time, I didn’t really get, but it soon sunk in. You said you were so in love with her, that even if you two were to break up, you wouldn’t even feel too bad, because you now cared more about her being happy, than her being with you.

Haida: ….you know, I...I do remember that.

Fenneko: Yeah. I guess I sorta realized that was kinda my motto for you two. Like, if somehow I wound up with you, that would be kinda cool, I guess. Hell, truthfully, I wouldn’t mind hookin’ up with Retsy. But if it had you two being happy and in love with each other, then quite frankly, I would be much more satisfied. To see those faces staring lovingly at each other, with your own little bundle of joy in your arms...that would bring me so much more joy than any 4chan member could ever do.

Haida: ...wow...well, uh...I must confess that after knowing you for as long as I have, I unfortunately don’t really have any romantic feelings for you.

Fenneko: “Unfortunately”? Dude, that’s a godsend. I don’t wanna waste all this money, just so you can flip-flop on Retsuko.

Haida: But...I do appreciate all the help you’ve given. Is there any way to repay you?

Fenneko: Just listen to Retsuko’s dad, and treat the girl right. That’s all.

Haida: Will do...so, uh, is there anyone that IS warming your heart at the moment?

Fenneko: Tsunoda, duh. ;3

Haida: Heh, I never thought you would ever say that!

Fenneko: Me neither. But yeah, she...I dunno, she’s still a bitch, and gets on my nerves, but...I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to someone as her. Even when it was you, I don’t think it ever got this bad.

Haida: You’re starting to see how I felt with Retsuko! *chuckles* ...well, if you need any real help expressing yourself to her...I’ll try to help out whenever I can. To pay you back. :)

Fenneko: ...you...you mean it?

Haida: Yeah! What are friends for, right?

Fenneko: ….*hugs him* thanks, dude.

Haida: *hugs her back* No problem.

Fenneko: *breaks the hug, and starts making her way to the door* C’mon, let’s get you hitched already. You get to the aisle, I’ll check up on the bride.

Haida: Okay...ah, man, today’s going to be awesome. All these years, leading to my special day, with the girl of my dreams. ^_^ I just hope she says I do...but I guess even if she doesn’t, that’s okay, right? I mean, as long as she’s happy...then again, there’s Ikari, that would complicate things. How would he feel? Well, I guess he’s a baby, he probably wouldn’t care. Actually, if the wedding is off, would that break us up, or just keep us in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage? Or would we stay in the fiancée stage? Oh, whatever it is, I hope we don’t have to go through tha-

Fenneko: Dude, if you don’t get going, I will marry the damn bride myself.

Haida: Gah! Sorry! *follows her* ….wait, I thought you wanted Tsunoda?

Fenneko: Do I look like I care? :3 *closes the door* Besides, I don’t mind trying to do that, given I have the power to wed you two.

Haida: ….huh?

Fenneko: Oh, didn’t I tell you? I got ordained just for this occasion! *starts walking ahead of Haida*

Haida: *standing in the hallway* …….you got WHAT?!

Now, I hear the lot of you. “Jacob, you just posted Part 6! How the hell did you post Part 7 so fast?! You should be taking longer than System of a Down takes to release a new album, you lazy piece of shit! I bet you had your thumbs up your bumhole throughout the entire time you were supposed to be writing, considering what a slob you are!”

Firstly, uh, wow, a bit rude.

Secondly....IIIII kinda finished this one up way early? Yeah, I was trying to do a thing where I had some parts done beforehand, so I have a clearer idea of where I want the story to go....ended up not going with it fully, but it did allow me to finish this! So, now, I have one (well, technically two, there IS an epilogue) more chapter left! And it’s a BIG one! With paragraphs! Narration! And even a big bit of art that I plan to show at the end!

And I wanna get this done before either May 31, or June 14, when Season 2 comes out!

Somebody please kill me, for the love of God! :D

[zxanthe]

soma ghost/living person au (maybe without the angst???)

beep boop another late prompt! so i tried for No Angst, and i think i did pretty ok on there being no angst related to being a ghost on maka’s part, but i couldn’t resist some angst seasoning wrt plot. nothing too heartwrenching, i hope. enjoy :)

also available on ao3

On the hottest day of August, two weeks before school is due to start, the family Evans moves into the old manse at the end of the aptly-named Gallows Lane. The car shuts off and the silence hangs there as the three of them peer up at the ruinous mountain of peeling paint and chipped siding that is their new home. Once upon a time it must have been very grand indeed, and some of that still lurks in the wide porch and delicate curlicues of the facade, but there is a vacantness to the windows that sends a faint tingle of foreboding down Soul’s spine.

“Holy shit,” says Wes finally, “no wonder this thing sold for so cheap. Bet the old owners couldn’t wait to get rid of it.”

“Language, kid,” says Dad. “Put that eyebrow down, it’s been completely redone on the inside. It’s our job to fix up the rest.”

“Ugh, there goes the rest of the summer,” Soul grumbles.

“C’mon, none of that. We’ve got a lot of work yet to do.”

The house, Soul comes to think, is watching him. There’s something strangely alive about the languorous quiet hanging like thick curtains in each room that the voices of his brother and father can’t entirely drive away. The back of his neck won’t stop prickling, and several times he whips around, convinced that someone – or something – will be there, watching him. But the only thing that greets him is the bright summer sunlight, streaming sleepily, emptily, through the dusty windows.

The day is murderously hot, and in the first five minutes Wes’s shirt comes off. Dad follows suit not long after. Soul only relents when his own shirt is drenched and he can’t take it anymore. It isn’t that he’s ashamed, exactly, of the long, puckered scar stretching from his left shoulder to his right hip. But it’s still pink, and it still pains him, and he still can’t quite lift his left arm as high as he should, and more than anything it’s a reminder, of things better left back home, in the town where they were born.

(The corners of Dad’s eyes still tighten when he looks at his son’s torso)

He doesn’t meet the house’s fourth resident until a week after they’ve moved in. The three of them had been working on the roof all day, refitting shingles under the baleful gaze of the sun, and at first he thinks the heat must’ve cooked his brain after all because there is a woman sitting on the window seat by the stairs on the second floor. Her hair is very long, and light-colored, and his heart catches in his throat and the single word blooms in his mind, its overpowering connotations clogging his windpipe so that he can only look at her as she continues humming in light, off-key tones. Then she turns around, and he sees that this woman is in fact a girl around his own age, with big green eyes and an upturned nose, and the light from the setting sun ignites the little frizzy filaments of hair that refuse to conform to the rest, so that it looks like her head is haloed in light, that she is light, because it is streaming right through her. He can see the windowsill through her dress.

She does not appear alarmed. Instead her eyes meet his, and then wander leisurely down the rest of his body without a shred of self-consciousness or shame. He can feel a blush igniting in his cheeks at the frankness of her gaze. He’s just gotten out of the shower. He’s wearing nothing but a towel slung around his hips.

“You seem nicer than the previous tenants,” she murmurs thoughtfully. “You’re certainly a lot nicer to look at.”

“Holy shit,” he blurts.

The girl’s eyes flick to his again and then go as wide as dinner plates when he doesn’t look away. She claps her hands over her mouth. “C-can you see me?” she squeaks breathlessly.

He can only nod.

“Oh. Oh my gracious. I’m. Oh goodness. It has been a very long time.” Her entire face is flaming brighter than the setting sun behind her. “If you’ll excuse me,” she murmurs, not meeting his gaze or allowing any time for a response before she leaps off the window seat and executes a perfect swan dive into the floor, vanishing with nary a ripple.

“Are you okay, Soul?” Wes asks, when he’s gotten dressed and made it down to dinner. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He doesn’t see her for a long time after that. He convinces himself that the whole surreal encounter was just a hallucination brought on by the heat, and then school starts and in the accompanying whirlwind that is figuring out the pecking order among a set of completely new peers as well as how the whole high school thing works in general, manages to forget all about her. He does an excellent job of it until her face melts through the surface of his battered English textbook late one evening.

“Gaah!” He shoves violently away from his desk. His chair skids a little and then gives up, opting to topple backwards instead and dump him unceremoniously on the floor.

She rises up through the book until she’s hovering a little above the desk “Oh! Oh no, are you alright? Oh, how silly of me, I’m so used to going through things, it’s so easy to forget – I should have walked in through the door like a reasonable human being!” She squeezes her eyes shut, and then, as if pulled by a magnet, rockets forward so that her feet are planted on the floor. “Takes a little, ah, concentration to orient myself, as you can see.”

“Yeah,” he manages. Her hair isn’t down this time, instead secured in an elaborate arrangement. A long, ashy-blonde braid trails from the back of it, past her waist. She wears a long, flowing skirt with a large buckle, a high-necked, ruffled blouse, and a sensible, if rather scuffed, pair of boots. In short, she’s dressed like his great-grandmother.

“Anyway, um.” A blush has appeared in her cheeks. Her hands are all knotted up in the front of her skirt. “I just wanted to, um, apologize, for my conduct, when we initially met. It was very rude, and absolutely inexcusable, and I’m sorry.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s just been such a long time since I’ve talked to anyone, and such periods of isolation inevitably turn one a little bit funny, I think. I sincerely hope that you can forgive me.”

He blinks after this whole speech. “Uh, yeah, sure. It’s whatever. Just, uh. Surprised me, that’s all.” He swallows and cautiously sits up. “Never met a ghost before.”

She visibly sags with relief, sinking a couple of inches into the floor. “Oh, thank you, thank you!”

“So, uh,” he says awkwardly, getting to his feet. “How long’ve you been. You know.”

“Dead, you mean? It’s quite alright, a perfectly natural thing to wonder.” Her brow furrows in thought. “What year is it?”

He tells her.

“My,” she says, frowning. She mouths some numbers soundlessly, holding up fingers. “A good century at this point.”

Soul whistles lowly. “Wow.”

She sighs. “I must say, I’m also rather impressed. I didn’t think the house would manage to last this long.”

“Huh?”

“My mother was a witch, you see,” she says, and drifts to settle on his bed. “She tried to bring me back, but…” She gestures to herself, helplessly. “It didn’t quite work out the way she planned.”

Her green eyes get a faraway look. Soul bends and picks up the chair. The noise startles her; she gives a little twitch and then blushes. “Oh, I’m sorry, where are my manners; here I am, mercilessly expositing to you my life story. To answer your question and make a very long and sad tale short I eventually figured out that my mother bound my soul to the house rather than the talisman she originally intended to, and as such, here I am, invisible to everyone except you, Soul Evans.”

“How do you – shit, you can go through walls and stuff. Right.” He sits down and eyes her. “So if the house goes and gets destroyed or whatever, you go too, is that it.”

“Theoretically, yes.” She sighs. “You know, I almost thought that I was at last going to leave this place, before the previous owner bought it and fixed it up and started renting it out. And now you and your family are living here and fixing up the outside too…why, I almost feel a real girl again!” She laughs, and then looks at him with soft green eyes. “And the best present of all,” she says quietly, “is someone to talk to, after all these long years. It gets,” and she takes a deep breath, “terribly lonely, when there are people all around you but they can’t hear a word you say.”

Soul can feel his cheeks heating up at her earnestness. “No problem,” he mumbles gruffly. “You’re the first ghost I’ve ever met. You seem pretty cool.”

She laughs again. “And you’re pretty groovy too, if I may say.”

“Oh my God, you sound like a middle-aged soccer mom.”

“Soccer mom…what’s that?”

“C’mon, you’ve been around like a hundred years, you should know this stuff better than me.”

“I can’t leave the house,” she says matter-of-factly. “Or, well, I can’t go very far outside it. I can take a turn about the garden, if it strikes my fancy, but…” She sighs. “So all I know of the world is what people have brought in here.”

“Oof,” says Soul.

“Mm. It certainly feels injurious. If I had been bound to the talisman I could go wherever it went, as it was meant to be worn around the neck, and one can’t exactly do that with a house.”

“How long’s it been since someone last lived here?”

“Mm. A good year I should say, although I can’t know for sure.” She peers around him then, and he turns and follows her gaze and winces when it lands on his geometry book.

“What was that you were working on before I so rudely interrupted you?”

“English,” he says with a sigh. “American public school fuckin’ sucks.”

“Ooh, public school. You know, I’ve always wanted to go.”

“Trust me,” says Soul, “you don’t.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” She sits up and squeezes her eyes shut. Her feet land squarely on the floor. She stands and makes her way towards him.

“You don’t have to do that, y’know, if it’s hard.”

“I know, but it makes me feel more…human, I guess.”

“Aren’t you technically still?”

“Not physically,” she sighs, and then peers at his homework. “Oh! Is this Romeo and Juliet?”

“Yeah,” he grumbles. “I can’t understand half of what they’re saying in this stupid play.”

“Stupid?” She holds a hand to her chest. “Shakespeare was one of my favorites!” She looks over his worksheet of accompanying questions. “Oh, these are simple! Come, Soul, surely you’re not struggling?”

He grits his teeth. “Not all of us are colossal dweebs, woman.”

“Hmph! I was thinking about helping you but now I think not.”

He sighs. “Geez, okay, sorry, sorry. You’re not a dweeb, happy?”

“No,” she says primly.

“Okay, well, if you’re gonna be like that then just fuck off and let me get this done, yeah? It’s due tomorrow and English is my first period.”

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” she quips, and vanishes through the ceiling.

He struggles for another half-hour before the girl takes pity on him and emerges from the wall again. “I won’t give you the answers,” she tells him in response to his hopeful look, “but I will help you translate.”

He sighs gustily. “Okay, fine.”

“Elsewise how will you learn? Education is important, Mr. Evans.”

He rolls his eyes.

***

He comes to learn that the girl’s name is Maka Albarn, and that she was born in what is now his father’s bedroom one sunny May afternoon in 1898. She lived her whole life in this town until the influenza carried her off just a few months shy of her 16th birthday. She likes books and baking and televised wrestling beatdowns.

“Oh my God, how can you watch this stuff, it’s so obviously fake,” he tells her one Saturday afternoon, not looking up from his Nintendo DS.

She doesn’t seem to hear him, so engrossed is she in the action on screen. “YES!” she shouts, leaping to her feet in a swirl of skirts.

“Didn’t know you liked wrestling, kid,” says a voice, and Soul looks up to see his brother leaning with his arms on the back of the couch.

Soul shrugs. “I don’t. S’good background noise, is all.”

“Mm. Is that John Cena?”

“Yes,” replies Maka, turning around to look at him. “Tell your brother that Mr. Cena is an exemplary example of what a wrestler should be.”

“I think so,” says Soul.

“Boo,” says Maka, sitting down.

“Fascinating though wrestling and Pokemon undoubtedly are,” says Wes, peering at Soul’s game, “I’m gonna have to ask you to put it down. I’ve picked out a piece for competition this year. Now that we’re both in high school I think it’d be badass to compete together.” He grins. “You and me, we’ll make state for sure.”

Soul leans back to look up at his brother. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. The first movement of Debussy’s violin sonata. What do you think?”

Soul yawns. “Yeah, Debussy’s alright. Let’s see it.”

Maka doesn’t look away from the TV as he ambles towards what used to be the sitting room with Wes. They’d moved the piano in just the other day. It sits placidly by the fireplace, its lacquered surface gleaming. Soul sits down on the worn bench and stares at his solitary reflection in it for a few moments. He remembers learning to play on this piano as a child. He remembers his mother’s patient hands guiding his small fingers to the right keys, the murmur of her voice, her silhouette reflected in the wood beside his when they’d play duets.

He sighs and lifts the cover.

The Debussy piece isn’t bad. It’s definitely a challenge, Soul reflects, but nothing he hasn’t seen before. They’re able to get the first two lines into something resembling coherence before Wes calls it a day and they devolve into old, familiar favorites instead, Mozart and Vivaldi and, perhaps most notably, the third movement of Beethoven’s Kreutzer Sonata.

“Haven’t heard that one in a while,” says Dad from the doorway when they finish. He’s smiling, equal parts fondness and sadness lingering in the curve of his lips, the way his eyes crinkle.

Soul shrugs, not looking up from the keys. “We were out of practice,” he says gruffly.

“Yeah,” says Wes. His eyes are a little too bright. He wipes at them with the back of one arm. “Don’t wanna forget, you know, plus the piano finally arrived, and with the new house and all…” He trails off and waves his hand. “I think she’d like it here.”

Dad smiles fondly. “She would. It’s partially why I bought this place, actually. Your mother always wanted a big, old house.”

Soul looks around. It’s easy to imagine his mother in a place like this, sitting in the chair by the window playing her cello or rattling around in the kitchen singing some aria or outside in the garden with her big raggedy straw hat and dirt under her fingernails. He bites his lip. His scar aches.

Much later, when the sun has long since set and the house has gone still and quiet, Maka finds him lying in bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, the window open and the ceiling fan stirring the heavy summer air with slow, languid strokes. He’s watching the fireflies blinking lazily in the garden below when she phases through the doorway.

“You and your brother play beautifully,” she tells him, her voice hushed.

Soul shrugs. “Lots of practice.”

“I never had much of a head for music. My mother got me lessons when I was young, but they just never took.”

“Mm.”

“That last song was especially lovely. The Beethoven. Did your mother like that song?”

“Yeah.” Soul doesn’t look at her. “It was her favorite.”

“What was she like?”

Soul exhales. “She was. Nice. Great musician. She used to play in the New York Philharmonic. Taught me and Wes piano, when we were kids, but she was a cellist usually.” He bites his lip. “She was always happy. Friendly to everyone. She liked people.”

Maka smiles. “She sounds like a wonderful person. I would have liked to meet her.”

She drifts to the windowsill, settling on the edge. Her transparent body catches the moonlight, makes her seem almost luminous in the darkness. She looks at him. There’s something soft and sad in her eyes. They drop to his scar, and she leans forward, a hand extended. Soul doesn’t move. Her eyes flick back to his, questioning. He shrugs.

He doesn’t feel anything when she touches him. Her gossamer hand dips into his naked chest, into the twisted flesh of the scar there. Wordlessly, she traces it, a crease forming between her brows. Her touch, though insubstantial, is slow, careful. Soul can feel his face heating up and hopes that ghosts can’t see in the dark.

“Where did this come from,” she murmurs.

“Car accident,” he says. His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “Like a year ago, now. Drunk driver. My, uh. My mom didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He sighs. “S’why we moved, you know. We were tired of seeing ghosts.” He glances at her. “Not…not literally. Sorry.”

She smiles. “It’s okay, I understand what you mean. My mother died not long after I did. She took my death rather hard, I think; I was her only family. It was…difficult, listening to her keening and unable to communicate my presence and thus ease her pain.” She withdraws her hand. They both watch the fireflies for a while.

“I don’t even remember it,” Soul croaks suddenly into the quiet. “Her death, I mean. Just headlights, and then this loud crunch, and then waking up in some hospital room feeling like complete shit.” He takes a deep breath. “They said I was dead for two minutes.”

She frowns at him thoughtfully. “Dead?”

“Yeah. Heart stopped, not breathing, the works. Had a hard time with the defibrillator ‘cause of…” He gestures to his chest.

“Do you remember what it felt like?”

He thinks for a few moments. “Peaceful.”

“Yeah. That’s how I felt too, before Mama called me back.” She bites her lip and takes a deep breath. “For what it’s worth,” she says lowly, “I’m glad you died, because if you hadn’t then we never would have met.”

He rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. “Woah there, fuck you too.”

“Oh – oh no! I didn’t mean – oh no, I’m so sorry – “

“Nah, nah, it’s cool. Chillax, Albarn, I’m not actually mad.”

She peers at him from between her fingers and then laughs weakly. “My mouth always runs away from me. My mama kept telling me to think before I speak. You’d think after a hundred years I’d have learned to.”

He smirks. “Yeah, well, for someone who’s so smart you sure are pretty dumb sometimes.”

“Rude! It’s entirely due to me that you’re passing English.”

He laughs. Quiet falls between them. Maka looks at him. There’s something strange, almost pained, in her eyes. “You know,” she says, and it’s hard to tell between the darkness and the transparent nature of her form, but he thinks she might be blushing, “I really wish that I could hold your hand right now.”

Soul’s heart skips a beat. He swallows. “Well, uh.” He extends his arm and places his hand palm-up on the windowsill. “Go. Go ahead.”

“I mean really hold it,” she mumbles, but she reaches for him just the same. Her translucent fingers pass through his and he can’t feel anything, but when he curls them around the empty air she smiles almost shyly. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

“Yeah.”

Outside, the crickets are chirping. A warm breeze wafts through the window, making the curtains stir. The moment stretches, deepens. Soul squeezes Maka’s hand.

She squeezes back.

[maryannalush]

Rant on Voltron season 8

I dont know how long this will be and im sorry if i ramble.

Okay so i just finish watching Voltron and let me tell you i am not amused. And it is more than just the last episode. I mean that was pretty weak in my opinion. I know some people liked it. Power to them. But not me. I felt like my intelligence had been insulted.

First i will start with Allura. I knew when I first started watching Voltron that she was going to die. And at first i was like "yea okay, last altean, i see where they are going with this". I didnt really like her character at first. She seem to happy, and just to much. But as the seasons when on i felt like she gained something. She wasn't just this hollow, one dimension, self sacrificing character. But at the same time i felt like she was constantly trying to die to save people and that's good and all but it was way overused (not just with her but all the paladins) and i just felt it was really stupid. Like you are the only people who can save the universe (and all realitys) and yet you are willing to throw away your life at the drop of a hat. 💁‍♀️ bitch what. And then with her romance with Lotor. That just rubbed me the wrong way. I get it. She thought he was the last one of her kind. I just felt forced. Like really forced. It felt to me like a plot point and nothing more.

Then we have Lance. Some things with his character were really good. Like he was a ladies man but not in the creepy way that a lot of them are played out to be. He was kind and never tried to really force his was with Allura and i loved that. He respected her and didn't treat her like some object that he could have if he tried hard enough. Everyone knew he liked her but he wasn't constantly showing her with affection and offers and gifts like i have seen over and over again in TV shows. It was really refreshing. But outside of that there wasn't much to his character. He could shoot well, yea. But that's not really a character trait. Just a skill. I think they could have done so much with his character if they tried. But he was literally like a side character the entire time. Nothing about his character really shown through the whole show. He was just sure of himself and sometimes but the team in danger. Plus he was super annoying at times. Don't get me wrong i think hes a good character but just way under done.

Next us Keith's character. I think he went though the most changes thought Voltron. With a few occational backtracks. He started out as this out cast kid who didn't like authority and wanted to be alone (the emo kid) into someone whole led the fight against the Galra. (More about becomig leader later). And i loved his character growth, but we didnt really get to see it happen. One minute he was with his mom outside of the Colony the next he's back with Voltron and hes ready to be a leader. Before he left he was still this kid who was running away from responsiblitly, running g away from being the Black Paladin and then he gets back to the ship and boom hes a leader. I understand he aged and matured and probably learned a thing or two from his mother but we never really see that. Shiro was alway "ill never give up on you" but it didnt make him the leader. Another thing that frustrated me was when Shiro left for space Keith got himself kicked out of the Garrison. Its kinda like all the stiff Shiro did to get him in and keep him in was for nothing. Especially after they thought he died. All those flash back and the time he spent with him added up to nothing. Sure it was used later to show the bond between them and help them a time or two, and that great, but i feel like that could have been achieved though the other things they went through. I also find it weird that no one ever knew that he wasn't fully human, i feel like something would have shown before he activated the Blade. All other half breeds showed outwardly that they were part Galra but he didnt. He looked totally human until then. Once again i think it was a plot point. Especially when Allura was avoiding him because he was part Galra was super stupid, or at least i thought. Mainly because i feel like really had no reason to dislike him, like he never did anything and she was like "thats because your Galra". He wasn't mean or anything. Loner, yes. I dont know it just kinda made me made.

Pidge is next. I feel like Pidges main thing was learning to accept herself and find her brother. I like how they did it and that she didnt start dressing girly once they found out. She was who she wanted to be. And being male or female didnt change that. Even when she got back to earth. I also low key forgot they were looking for her brother and farther like half way through because they never really made way on it until she saw the picture of her brother. I mean yes they hinted at it. But it seemed like she put it on a back burner, then all of a sudden it was all she cared about. And that just doesn't seem very Pidge to me. And even thought she is a girl they didnt make her less of a character than the rest like Allura was for a while. She was always super important and stayed that way.

I dont really have much to say about Hunk. I loved him and he was a good supporting character to the main people but that's just about all her was.

Okay now one of the things i really didnt like about the whole thing. The switching lion. Why, why..... why. To me it felt silly and unessisary. At the time Keith was no where near being ready to pilot the black lion and Allura had been a dull character. Lance was perfect for Blue and Keith for Red. But when they switched it made me feel like they were being forced into role that really didnt belong. I feel like Allura should have piloted the black lion in Shiros absences but given it back when Shiro returned. She had shown.she was a leader and respected by everyone and it was almost a slap in the face to see her in the blue lion. And Lance in the red lion felt wrong too. Shiro should have stayed Black paladin and in his absence Allura. Like a mom and dad duo. (Not ship wise tho) They gave off the vibes of both being the leaders, Shiro being the to and Alloura his second i command. As i srated ealier Keith did eventually step up as a leader but i feel like as the red lion he could have been a leader like Shiros right hand man. I feel like the shift was unessisary and cause more problems then it solved. And then they didnt change out fits either so you have the red paladin wearing a blue outfit and the black paladin wearing a red outfit. It irked me to no end seeing that. Like you change lion you change suit. Boi 😤🙏

And then the last season. Oof. I feel like it was pulling in so many different directions. It was so much confusing, more like info overload. They could have either made another season or took some pointless thing out. Like they kept having to prove their bond with each other every other episode. It got boring. I under stand it happening once or twice but how often i heard Keith saying we have to work together it the power is within was over kill. They already established they were super strong together. I understand they wanting the audience to know that were strong but really. Almost every episode. Come on. Give me a break. It almsot it like their bond before wasn't really a bond so they had to do it again. But whatever.

Now Alluras death. Let me tell you that made me mad. Like wtf. The was they did it was alomst lien they pulled ut out of their ass. "Hey how should we end this" "i dont know... it had to be something epic" "how about all the paladin combine their strength with all the last paladins and Hagger and fix the universe and channel it thought Allura ( how i thought it should have gone. Because we literally see the past paladins before she goes but idk) " naw lets just kill Allura and make it as unrealistic and simple as possible". I feel like they could have done so much more, something so much more meaningful. It just felt so rushed and almost pointless. Like they didnt know what to do and took out the most useless paladin and called it a day. It just wa ssooo freaking stupid and dull. And then when They were saying goodbye they were all okay with it. Didn't question it. Didn't try to come up with a different solution like they have done ever time in the past that someone tried to sacrifice theirselves. Nope just was like if you say so. Boop. Big freaking ooof. Like ever other time someone tried to sacrafice themselves they found a was to do something else but there they where kind ooc a bit. And lance. Man. I feel like he was under reacted. That was the love of his life. The girl he would never get over a d he barely argued. Like no. No. Just no. All his character development, poof gone. All im saying is they wouldn't have just accepted it. Of all the things they went through i just dont think they would.

Lastly the after credit(?) Thing. There was so much wrong with that. Like lance. I feel like he would have not moved on per say but found someone else to love. Because Allura wouldn't have wanted him to grow up and be alone for the rest of his life. It was sad and kinda pathetic. She would have wanted him to find a nice girl and have little baby lances. Instead he was forever heart broken and unable to move on. Blah. And Chip i wanted more about chip. Why did she build him. Was he supposed to be a son like figure because he looked like a child. Did he even work. I have so many questions. And then Shiro marring some random bimbo. They had no build up, nothing. He just in a few shots aboard the Atlas. It felt like a last minute decision. They could have done so much with them becoming a thing. But nope they show Shiro may or may not have been with Adam and then decided just to give him a random gay marriage. They aaidsomething about him finding happiness but never once did it seem like that was what he was looking for throughout the show. Not like Lance was. He never even seemed interested in anyone thought out the whole thing. Like maybe he traveled the first earth mission thought space or something idk. It made his character feel sallow.

End of rant. If you disagree with me or think i jave something wrong feel free to discuss it with me. Like and adult.

Thanks for your time.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @fear-frost!

This is for Michelle, I hope you like it, doll! :)

Read on AO3

*****

Won't You Come On Home

It’s not that Derek doesn’t love his family, but he’s got reasons for not wanting to go home for the holidays. Legitimate ones.

It also doesn’t help that he hasn’t set foot in his childhood home or town since the day he left for college, though various family members have visited him a few times over the years.

Also, his pack is filled with a bunch of busy-bodies. Then again, so is the town, but that’s the way small towns work, so he should be used to it. It still annoys him.

This year, though, he’s officially run out of excuses and his mom has made it very clear that she expects him home by Sunday morning, at the latest.

So here he is, driving through the streets of Beacon Hills, noting how everything is vaguely similar but just different enough to make him feel on edge.

It’s been three and a half years since he’s been home, after all. And if everything goes well after graduation, it may be longer than that until the next time he returns.

When Derek gets to the fork in the road, he chooses the smaller and unpaved path to the right, instead of the fancier one to the left that leads to the Inn that his family owns and runs.

The gravel of the driveway crunches under his feet as he gets out of the car and trudges his way inside, noting that there’s windchimes all over the front porch now, for some reason. He doesn’t bother pulling out a key and almost bashes his face on the door when he finds that it’s locked. He scowls as he gets the spare key and lets himself inside.

He drops his bag by the door and moves down the dark hall into the kitchen. It’s early enough that he’s the only one up so he stands there for a while, staring out over the yard and into the trees, noting the way the world seems to be waking up as the sun slowly rises. The coffee pot turns on via timer and starts burbling happily away beside him.

Eventually, someone walks into the kitchen behind him, moving toward the coffee and fixing a cup. After a moment, they say sleepily, “Merry Christmas.”

Derek glances over and automatically replies, “Merry Christmas.” Then he does a double take.

It’s Stiles. Stiles Stilinski.

Stiles Stilinski, standing in his family’s kitchen, barefoot and wearing sweatpants and a white tank top and making himself a cup of coffee.

Derek sputters, “What the hell are you doing here?”

Stiles, still so very cool, stirs his coffee and laughs, sleep-rumpled and clearly comfortable. “I live here.”

“Here?”

“Yeah, dude, for like, the past three years.” Stiles shakes his head and ambles out of the room, pausing in the doorway. He gives Derek a once-over and adds, “It’s good to see you home again, Derek.”

And with that, he leaves Derek in the kitchen: confused, irritated, and maybe a little turned on.

His mom and dad come into the kitchen a few minutes later, his mom squealing with delight when she sees him.

“My baby!” she croons, enveloping him in a tight hug.

“Hi, Mom.” He relishes in the embrace, squeezing her tightly and pressing his face to her neck.

“I’ve missed you,” she tells him, pulling back and rubbing her hands over his shoulders.

“Missed you too.” He squeezes his dad harder when they hug, grinning as his old man lets out an ‘oof’. “Hi, Dad.”

“Good to see you, son.”

His mom moves around the kitchen, turning the lights on and starting on breakfast.

Derek pulls up a seat at the breakfast bar and tries to say off-handedly, “So, you didn’t tell me that Stiles lived here.”

“Sweetheart,” his mom says as she whisks eggs, “he’s lived here for three and a half years.”

“Yeah, he mentioned that.”

His dad grabs the newspaper and instantly pulls out the crossword. “We told you that we hired someone to work at the Inn right after you went to school.”

“Well, that could have been anybody. How was I supposed to know it was him?”

His parents look at each other then back at him. “Is there some reason why we shouldn’t have him here?”

Derek doodles on the counter with his finger. “No.”

He’s saved from having to explain himself when Cora comes into the kitchen, followed by Laura.

“So, the Prodigal Son returns!” Cora crows, throwing herself at him.

“Hi, Brat,” he greets, giving her a noogie. “Still obnoxious, I see.”

“Ugh, you still suck, I see,” she mocks.

“Laura, will you make the bed up for Derek? The sheets should be dry now,” their dad asks, running through the crossword with scary efficiency.

“Sure.” She ducks into the laundry room and reappears with an armful of sheets. “Come on, pup.”

Instead of turning to go up the stairs to the apartment above the garage, they turn toward the inside of the house. “Where are we going?”

“Your old room is Stiles’ now, so you’ll have to take the guest room.”

His jaw drops a little. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “You were gone and he needed a room to sleep in. We couldn’t put him on the couch.” She seems like she’s about to say something else but she just elbows the door to the guest room open.

“Why not put him in here?” he mutters, setting down his bag and helping her make the bed. “And by the way, since when did he start working at the Inn?”

“Like, a week after high school graduation. Did you really not know?”

Derek shakes his head, taking the comforter when she shakes one end at him.

She hums then asks, “Why does it sound like you have a problem with it?”

“I don’t. I mean, it’s just…” Derek makes some sort of noise that can’t even be charitably described as words and finally shrugs.

Laura squints at him and says slowly, “Is this because you had a crush on him in high school?” At his confused look, she shrugs. “Cora mentioned it a while back.”

“I did not have a crush on Stiles in high school,” he protests.

She rolls her eyes and mutters, “Whatever.” She ruffles his hair. “It’s good to have you home, regardless of your ridiculousness.”

Derek scowls at her, patting his hair back into place as she walks off. She thinks she’s so smart because she’s the oldest.

And yeah, sure, Stiles was hot in high school and sort of a bad boy, in as much as he could be considering his dad was the Sheriff. And yeah, maybe Derek had a little bit of a crush on him.

But for Derek, it wasn’t about the hotness, though it was a plus. It was that Stiles was Stiles was Stiles. There wasn’t any falseness to him, not in the way he interacted with people or how he lived. He just… was.

When they were in high school, Stiles, who was generally kind of a dick, tended to be nice to Derek since their parents started working together on a campaign to cut down on teens drinking and driving.

Stiles had also grown out of the awkwardness that seemed to cling to him when he moved to Beacon Hills in sixth grade, all buzz cut and big eyes. He was stupid hot all of a sudden and it was a little hard for Derek to cope for a while.

But even after Derek’s “glow up” – Lydia’s words, not his – the Summer before Senior year, Stiles didn’t treat him any differently.

On the first day, Lydia and Danny had been teasing him about getting hot when he saw Stiles walking down the hall with Erica Reyes and Scott McCall.

Stiles greeted him the same way he did since the first day of Freshman year: a half-smile/half-smirk, a jerk of the chin, and a “Sup, Derek”.

At the time, he was relieved: at least someone was treating him normally. And sure, it was weird initially, realizing that people saw him as “hot”.

But now? He’s not the nervous seventeen-year-old he used to be. He’s twenty-two and he’s going to graduate from college in May. He pays taxes. He’s a damn adult!

God, but Stiles is even more attractive than he used to be and he’s living in Derek’s family’s house, looking very at home in those sweatpants…

Derek flops face-first onto the freshly made bed, deciding to wallow there until his mom calls loudly, “Breakfast!”

He heads downstairs and greets the rest of the family. Afterwards, he sits at the large table, passing plates amid early morning chatter that almost sounds the same as when he was growing up.

There’s just one little thing that’s different.

Watching Stiles interact with his family should be old hat for Derek, but it keeps throwing him off, the way Stiles is so integrated into the dynamic. Before, it was the courtesy that came from their parents’ professional collaboration. Now, it’s evident that Stiles is a regular fixture here.

Oliver, Peter’s son who used to love Derek when he was two, barely glances Derek’s way and heads immediately to Stiles, claiming the seat next to him at the breakfast table and eating only whatever Stiles also eats.

Derek’s mom rubs Stiles’ hair as she walks by and Derek’s dad claps him on the shoulder and Derek’s aunt Catherine comments that Stiles needs to hurry up on the crib he’s building for the baby that’s she’s pregnant with and Derek’s older cousin reminds Stiles of a joke and they all laugh.

It’s really fucking weird. It would likely be even worse if the rest of the family was here, but they’re probably at the Inn, cooking breakfast for the people staying there.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” Derek announces after he’s shoveled his eggs and bacon down.

“Why don’t you go with Stiles? He’s about to take a couple into the Preserve for a guided hike.”

“Uh,” Derek glances at Stiles who raises an eyebrow at him, sipping calmly from his orange juice, “okay.”

“Perfect. That way I can finish wrapping your presents.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He hugs her, pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I’ll be here when you’re ready,” Stiles tells him, seeming content at the table even with Oliver now on his lap, eating off of Stiles’ plate.

Derek nods. He doesn’t flee the kitchen, no matter how much he wants to. He walks sedately upstairs and changes, heading back down in time to see Stiles finish his juice in one long gulp.

God, that neck.

Before he can embarrass himself, he clears his throat and Stiles grins up at him.

“Alright, Olly, I’ll see you for dinner,” Stiles tells Derek’s nephew, lifting the kid up and setting him down in the chair.

“Bye Stiles,” Oliver chirps, grabbing another piece of sausage and chomping happily on it.

Stiles jerks his head toward the door. “Let’s go.”

They walk toward the Inn, instead of driving, and when they get half-way there, Stiles says, “I know you don’t wanna come with me on this hike. These people are wanting something easy and tame.” He smiles and jerks his chin toward the trees. “Take a stroll by yourself. Relearn the place. It’ll do you good.”

Derek blinks at him as Stiles continues to walk to the Inn. After a moment, he shrugs. It actually sounds like a good idea.

After walking on his own through the Preserve, he does actually feel better. He waits for Stiles on the front porch of the Inn and raises his hand in a wave when Stiles returns with a grinning young couple.

“Thanks for taking us out, Stiles,” one of the girls says.

“Hey, no problem. Give Andy a buzz if you need anything else. Dinner should be ready around six.”

“Sounds great,” the other girl says, giving a small wave as they go into the Inn.

Stiles turns to Derek. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“Sweet. I’m gonna do some maintenance stuff now. You can tag along or loiter here.” He says conspiratorially, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell your mom.”

Derek snorts, rolling his eyes.

As Stiles walks away, Derek thinks that maybe the holiday won’t be so bad after all.

-----

After dinner, Stiles appears next to Derek in the kitchen. “Wanna come bowling with us?”

Derek tries to look like Stiles didn’t startle him, asking offhandedly, “Us?”

“Yeah, the other degenerates that never left town, for one reason or another.”

“Uh, sure.”

Stiles smiles, clapping Derek on the shoulder. “Don’t look so scared. They don’t bite.”

Derek isn’t so sure but he finishes the dishes and meets Stiles outside ten minutes later.

“Your chariot awaits,” Stiles announces, waving at the same blue Jeep he had in high school.

Derek rolls his eyes and climbs into the ratty old car. He’s a little worried that the heap of junk might not make it to the bowling alley, but sure enough, they arrive there safely.

“Have they changed this place at all?” he asks as he gets out, slamming the door to make it close.

“Nope.” Stiles comes around and grins up at the neon. “Same old shit hole it’s always been.”

Derek grins too. “Perfect.”

“Come on.” Stiles opens the door and walks through the flashing lights of the decrepit arcade machines and down a ramp into a massive area, pungent with the smell of wax and beer and fries.

Derek looks around and he almost stumbles when he sees who’s waiting for them.

Scott McCall and Erica Reyes stare as Derek and Stiles walk up to them. They’re just as daunting as they were in high school, though Erica is wearing slightly less leopard print and Scott is sporting a short hair-style and facial hair.

“I thought you said they didn’t bite,” Derek mumbles.

Stiles snorts. “Erica works at the National Park Service and Scott is the town veterinarian.” He raises his eyebrows at Derek. “She gives lectures on habitat conservation to elementary school kids and he saves puppies and kittens. They’re not exactly terrifying.”

Derek isn’t so sure, but he doesn’t say anything else.

“’Sup guys. You remember Derek?”

“Sure, hi,” Erica greets in a friendly tone, raising her cheek for Stiles to kiss.

“Hey dude, good to see you again.” Scott shakes Derek’s hand. He then turns and does some sort of complex handshake with Stiles. “Your turn to get beer.”

“I remember.” Stiles looks down at Derek’s feet. “What size shoe do you wear?”

“Uh, eleven.”

Stiles nods and walks away.

“So,” Scott prompts, “what have you been up to since high school?”

“Studying, mostly.” He shrugs. “Stiles told me you’re a vet and you,” he nods to Erica, “work with the National Park Service. That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah.” Erica waves her hand, rolling her eyes. “I have to be honest, this whole ‘catching up’ thing is weird for me. We didn’t really know each other well in school, so I’m not sure what to say to you.” She smiles, softening her words, and asks, “Can we just bowl and drink beer?”

Derek laughs, oddly pleased. “That sounds really great.”

“Thank God,” Scott huffs, losing his stoic demeanor. His grin is easy when he admits, “I had no clue what to talk to you about.”

Stiles returns with the beer and Derek’s shoes and they all bowl. It ends up being more fun than he expected. Erica wins and Stiles and Scott bow to her, so Derek does the same.

She kisses his cheek as they all part. “I’ll see you around, Hale.”

“Later, dude,” Scott says, clapping his shoulder and hugging Stiles before he and Erica drive off.

Stiles and Derek end up at the dock that sits on the edge of the lake behind the Inn. There’s only two guests left and they’re leaving in the morning, so the property is quiet and dark.

After a few minutes, Derek tells Stiles, “Your friends are cool.”

“Yeah, I like them.” He takes a sip of his beer. “You still friends with Lydia Martin?”

“Oh, yeah. She actually just found out she got accepted to Princeton’s graduate school.”

“Damn.” Stiles shakes his head. “Smartest girl I’ve ever met. Scariest, too.”

“Lydia?” Derek asks, then he stops. “Actually, yeah. I can see that, if you didn’t know her.” He points at Stiles. “You and your friends, though. Talk about intimidating.”

“Seriously? Us? We were just a bunch of hippie tree huggers, getting high and playing with plants and animals in the woods.” He raises his eyebrows. “I’d think that you’d be one of the last people to be afraid of us.”

He huffs. “Yeah, well, high school was weird.”

“Truth.”

Derek nods and they fall into an easy silence, the lapping of water and rustling of small animals the only sound.

After a while, Stiles asks, “Why haven’t you been home for the holidays before this?” He glances at Derek and adds, “You can totally tell me to fuck off. I’m just curious.”

Derek shakes his head. “Well, for starters, I hate this time of year.”

“What?” Stiles sounds shocked. “Why?”

“It’s all commercial garbage.”

“Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.” Stiles sits up straight, turning to look at Derek. “This is the most magical time of the year.”

“Why? Because of Santa?” Derek teases.

“No, because of renewal. It’s when darkness begins to turn into light and the return of the sun. It’s about feasting, a promise for another year of plenty. It’s a time for soul-searching, to look within one’s self and to look over the experiences of your past, and to plan for your future. It reminds us that the sun is eternal, the cycle is always renewing, and so are you.

“And,” he adds with particular emphasis, “it is about the gifts. It’s your chance to show gratitude and appreciation for your friends and family, for all they’ve done for you, the joy they’ve brought into your life over the past year.” Stiles adds casually, “I particularly enjoy getting socks and hoodies.”

Derek snorts, though there’s something about the way that Stiles talks about the holiday that makes it sound sort of appealing.

“So, now that that’s settled,” Stiles continues, ignoring Derek’s reaction, “what’s the real reason you haven’t been home?”

“Well, I’ve been doing overseas studies for the past couple of years.”

“Yeah, it was Ireland first, then Rome, and Spain last year, right?”

“Yeah. You kept track?”

Stiles shrugs. “I pay attention.”

“I’ve noticed,” he mutters.

When Derek makes no move to continue speaking, Stiles leans over and wheedles, “Cooome ooon… tell me why. Come on, Derek.”

“Ugh, fine!” Derek mutters, “My parents want to give me the Inn.”

Stiles blinks at him. “That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve missed three years of some of the most amazing food I’ve ever eaten with some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met, because your family wants to leave you an incredibly valuable piece of land and business at some point in the future?”

“Yes. I know it sounds stupid, okay? I know.”

Stiles scratches his cheek. “It’s not that it’s stupid, per say. I’m just a little confused, man.”

“Look,” Derek sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know my family wants what’s best for me and it was very generous for them to offer.”

Stiles nods, motioning for him to go on.

Derek rolls his eyes but keeps talking: “The fire that happened, during my Freshman year…”

“Yeah, it was rough.” Stiles makes a face like he’s remembering – which he does, Derek realizes, since he’s worked at the Inn since Derek left. “Luckily we didn’t lose too much.”

“I… the woman who set the fire… the reason she did was because of me.” Derek clears his throat, the words falling out of his mouth in a torrent. “I broke up with her because she was really intense, like obsessive, and I’d already told her where I was from and that my family owned an inn and if I hadn’t said anything, if I’d just kept my mouth shut, then she wouldn’t have done that. And what if… what if they give me the Inn and I end up fucking up somehow, like… I don’t know how, but…”

After he manages to shut up, Stiles studies him in silence for almost a full minute.

“Well, say something or stop staring at me,” Derek finally snaps.

“I was just thinking how much responsibility it is, to take over the Inn, especially if you’re not ready.” He hums, and adds, “I was also thinking that maybe you’ve been blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.” Stiles lifts one shoulder and drops it. “The way I see it: you didn’t make her start that fire.”

“Yeah, but where was I when it happened? I wasn’t here to support the family. And after that… coming back just seemed so… hard. Like, how was I supposed to face everyone, knowing that I’d put them all in danger?”

“So you decided not to come back at all?”

“It was easier.”

“For you, maybe. Your mom really missed you.”

“She may have been the only one,” Derek huffs, feeling a little pathetic.

“Nah,” Stiles shakes his head, “not the only one.”

Derek looks away, uncertain if he’s reading too far into Stiles’ words.

Stiles finishes his beer. “We should head back. Early morning tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Derek agrees, getting to his feet, casting one last glance over the quiet lake.

-----

After that, Derek just sort of ends up spending time with Stiles, either during the day or after dinner.

On Monday, when the last guests leave for the season, Stiles shows Derek around the Inn, pointing out renovations and things that haven’t changed, like the doorframe where the growth of all the Hales have been measured for almost two decades.

Stiles watches as Derek runs his hands reverently over the numbers, pulling him away after a moment to show him the new library and the greenhouse.

On Tuesday, Derek states that he’s not sure that Stiles is really that much more connected to the Preserve than he is.

Stiles laughs at him and holds out his hand. “I’ll prove it to you.”

Derek’s stomach swoops and he reaches out, lacing their fingers together. “Bet.”

-----

Thursday is the solstice. Once again, he and Stiles are on the dock behind the Inn.

Stiles softly points out how still the world is, how it almost seems to be holding its breath. He turns and smiles slightly at Derek, less than a foot away.

I could kiss him.

Derek’s struck, in that moment, by how the only thing he can seem to hear their breathing and the slight rustle of cloth as Stiles raises his hand and flicks Derek on the nose.

Stiles snorts and the spell is broken, but the thought remains: Kiss him.

But Derek doesn’t, just laughs and fakes throwing Stiles in the lake.

It’s better this way.

-----

On Christmas Eve, they all makes cookies and bring them to the police station – where Stiles’ dad is still the Sheriff – and the fire station.

Christmas is loud and noisy and filled with laughter and food and cheesy movies and Derek is struck by how much he’s missed all of it.

After dinner is over and everyone has piled in front of the television for another movie, Derek follows Stiles outside, the two of them sprawling on the grass and staring up at the sky.

Stiles scoots closer to Derek, shivering a bit even with his coat.

“Did you ever think about leaving Beacon Hills?”

Stiles laughs softly. “Well, yeah, of course.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“This is my home. My father is here; my friends are here.” Derek feels him shrug. “It’s where I belong.”

Derek wishes he had half the conviction about his future that he hears in Stiles’ voice. “I think… I could like living here again.”

“Missed the old place, huh?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I realized I did.”

“Life’s weird that way,” Stiles reassures him and knocks their feet together.

It makes Derek feel better, even as the tiny voice in the back of his head warns him not to get too comfortable.

-----

Life is good the next few days.

But the peace is suddenly shattered when he gets an email from his potential new boss on Saturday night, confirming Derek’s employment.

“Important message?”

Derek jumps, almost throwing his phone, and whips around.

Stiles leans against the doorframe of the guestroom, arms crossed.

“Uh… yeah.”

Stiles studies him. “You’re not coming back after graduation, are you?”

Derek drops his eyes, shame curling in his stomach.

“Were you gonna tell anyone?” There’s no anger in Stiles’ voice, or judgement, which makes Derek feel even guiltier. “Or were you just gonna disappear for another few years and hope none of us noticed?”

“I don’t know,” he admits.

Stiles sighs, pushing off the doorframe. “Well I won’t tell anyone. But you probably should.” He shrugs. “Just, you know, think about it.”

Derek nods, his heart pounding as Stiles walks away.

It makes him wonder why Stiles was even in the hallway outside his room, what Stiles possibly could have been coming up to say. Or to do.

And how Stiles phrased his question: “none of us” – he’d included himself in the list of people who would notice if Derek didn’t come back. It makes it even worse.

Derek rubs his face with both hands. “Fuck.”

-----

The next day, New Year’s Eve, Derek spends time with as many of his family members as he can. He helps his mom in the kitchen with the traditional food – black-eyed peas and spinach – and plays Scrabble with his dad. He helps Oliver turn his room into a fort and helps clean it back up again.

He even sits for a while with Peter who is even more perceptive than Stiles. Peter simply looks at him for a moment then states, “You’ll break more than one heart this way, but it’s your life.”

Derek flees shortly after.

Stiles, when Derek sees him, looks a little hungover, but he’s his usual mellow self. He even smiles slightly at Derek while they get the Inn ready for the giant party that the family always throws on New Year’s.

A ton of people show up: Scott with a pretty girl named Kira on his arm, Erica with a buff and smiling guy named Boyd that Derek remembers from high school, Sheriff Stilinski with Melissa McCall – Scott’s mother – and a myriad of other people from town.

Derek maybe drinks a few too many glasses of champagne. He’s not sloppy, but he’s definitely drunk.

As the countdown starts, he’s tucked against the wall, staring into his glass, when a pair of Converse show up in his peripheral. He looks up and sees Stiles.

“Hi,” he almost-whispers as people shout fifteen, fourteen, thirteen…

“Hi,” Stiles says back just as softly. “I’d really like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

And Derek should say no, he knows there’s no point in this, it’ll just make things worse, but he nods. “Okay.”

Stiles steps closer, cupping his cheek, and presses their mouths together right as everyone shouts four, THREE, TWO, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Stiles pulls back, his brown eyes sad. “Happy New Year, Derek. I hope it’s a good one.”

Then, all Derek can do is stand there, watching Stiles walk away and fighting the ridiculous urge to cry.

-----

Seven Months Later

July in Beacon Hills is more beautiful than Derek remembers.

It’s hot as hell, but the earth is alive, the air thick with the smell of life and the sound of laughter.

Derek drives up to the Inn, stomach in his throat when he sees Stiles look up from the flowerbed he’s weeding. Derek gets out of the car and they stare at each other.

Stiles looks even better than he did in December and Derek isn’t sure if it’s because he’s already sun-kissed and warm looking or if it’s just because he’s Stiles.

“Congrats on your graduation,” Stiles offers after a moment, his dirt-covered hands clenching slightly on his thighs.

“Thanks.”

Stiles nods, turning his attention back to his work.

Derek clears his throat, shuffling from foot to foot.

Stiles stops, looking at Derek expectantly. When he’s silent, Stiles sighs. “Derek, I need to get back to work. So if you have something to say, say it.”

“I was going to tell you,” he blurts out, “about the job. But it just never came up and… then it just made it easier not to say anything.”

“Well, avoiding your problems has worked pretty well for you in the past, so,” Stiles shrugs, wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his wrist.

“I know. I thought I wanted the job, I really did. But when I got there,” he shakes his head, “it didn’t feel right.”

“And?” Stiles

“And I quit.” He laughs, still a little amazed at his actions. “I literally lasted less than two hours. I sat there and… and just couldn’t do it.”

Stiles studies him, brow furrowed. “So now what?”

“I’m, uh, I’m moving back.”

Stiles nods, standing and dusting off his shorts. “So if I asked you on a date, you would say…?��

“I would say… let me finish unpacking, so I can wash my clothes before we go out.”

Stiles smiles, stepping in close and pausing inches away. “That’s a good answer.”

Derek smirks, putting his hands on Stiles’ hips. “I thought you might like it.”

[platinumjeon]

Ankle Biter | 01

pairing: taehyung x reader - single dad! au

warnings/genre: major fluff, major angst, smut eventually I’m sure because of my thirsty ass

summary: You swear that your job sucks, except for the guy who keeps coming in every morning to order himself a black coffee, and his kid a strawberry milk and chocolate muffin. When you and Taehyung have an awkward run-in at the cafe thanks to his kid, feelings start to emerge and so do the secrets. 

words: 2.6k

playlist | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | epilogue

moodboards: before & after

The day he started coming in was almost a year ago, big hand gripping little hand as he dragged who you assumed to be his son, through the crowd of people at the door and weaving through the occupied tables.

He stood in front of the register, holding the kid in one arm and pointing to the menu with his other. “The regular one? Or-oh, you want the strawberry one? One strawberry milk, please. Oh, and a coffee - black, and, Taeji, do you want the blueberry or chocolate muffin?”

Your coworker, a frumpy, grouchy old woman, took the father and son’s order before monotonously repeating the total and barking at you to get the order together. You watched curiously as the duo stood in front of the pick-up counter, the little boy grabbing onto his dad’s hair and giggling. They shared the same nose, and boxy smile, and it made you smile at how sweet the image was.

You set down the order - the coffee, the strawberry milk with a fun, plastic bendy straw and the chocolate muffin the little boy had decided on. “Oh, say thank you Taeji.” The man said, looking up at you and nodding his thanks while handing the package to his son and grabbing both drinks. You stood behind the counter, wondering if you should have offered to help carry the drinks, but watched silently as he put Taeji down in a booth and sat across from him. He stared at the little boy with such intensity you thought he might burst.

The kid’s dad sat back, running his hands through his hair. If you could see stress, this man was radiating it and you could feel it from across the cafe. He looked on at the kid while he happily sat on his knees, muffin stuffed in his mouth and crumbs all over the table you know you’d be cleaning up later. The little boy looked happy, so what was the problem?

“Y/N, stop daydreaming and go tend the register. You’ve got customers lining up and you’re on shift,” Beatrice barked, the thoughts in your head diminishing like cotton candy on your tongue. You startled forward, immediately beginning to greet the customer and spit out the usual, “Hi, I’m Y/N and welcome to Bea’s Cafe, what can I get for you?” But stopped when you looked up from adjusting your name tag to see your constant visitor, accompanied by the little boy, Taeji.

“The usual, please,” The man said, sending a dazzling smile your way - you thought, until you noticed he had turned his head to bounce his son up and down to watch him smile and giggle. Inside, you sighed, but nodded and punched the order into the machine before it spat out the receipt. He had been coming in every single day since the duo had shown up one day last year - not a day missing, every morning at 9:00 AM sharp the two came in and sat down in the usual booth across the register. 

You began to enjoy seeing them not long after, and almost looked forward to their visits every morning. “Thank you!” The two said in unison, prompting you to smile and turn to grab their chocolate muffin. 

They sat down and that’s when you turned to Beatrice, who was begrudgingly trying to fix the deadening coffee machine (the poor thing was on its last legs and Bea was the cheapest person alive; you were ready to offer to buy a new one for her to make your life easier), and said, “I’m gonna go and grab my hoodie from the car. I’ll be right back.” You smiled when you heard her mumble and continue smacking the espresso machine.

Maybe I’ll take an early lunch, you thought, thinking about the row of shops and restaurants you could pick from. This part of Seoul was bustling with life - Myeongdong was a nice place to shop, but this little nook was the perfect size with the perfect amount of places to keep you occupied. 

You were walking down the hallway from the kitchen, swinging your keys in loops around your fingers and humming a song that was playing earlier when-

“Oof!” The voice said, and you looked down at the impact from the little boy had against your leg to see that he had run into you and fallen on his behind. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, buddy!” You said, stooping down to help the little boy up and dust him off. You crouched in front of him as he smiled at you, baby teeth slightly crooked and smile boxy and charming. 

“Where are you going?” The boy asked, cocking his head. Your smile only grew wider as you looked behind him, biting the inside of your cheek. His dad must be distracted. 

“I,” you began, taking his hand in yours, “was going to go to my car. But let’s go find your dad instead, huh?” The little boy nodded, and just as you stood up, the man darted around the corner.

“Taeji! I told you to stay at the table, I had to take an important call and-” He said, then stopped when he noticed his son’s hand connected with yours and began to apologize.

“I’m so sorry, he ran off and I had to take a call from my lawyers, Taeji’s mom’s parents think I’m unfit to-,” he stopped again, then shook his head, running a hand through his hair and exhaling a defeated breath. 

“Thank you for finding him. I’m Taehyung, Kim Taehyung. And this is my son, Taeji.” He motioned, and you dropped the little boy’s hand and with a push of your own, he bounced over to his dad and gripped his leg. 

“It’s no problem, I see you guys around here a lot,” you smiled, words light. “I’m Y/N.” 

“I know,” Taehyung says, shifting on his feet and smiling down at his son. He looks nervous somehow - his eyebrows furrowing and his face contorting slightly into a look of worry as he stares down at the little black-haired Taeji, who’s singing to himself and running his hand along the smooth, cream colored wall. 

“Daddy talks about you a lot,” Taeji said nonchalantly, now holding onto the door handle of the bathroom and trying to push it open. “’Pretty coffee girl,’” Taeji says, quieter, and you look back up at his dad with a confused smile on your face.

“I don’t tell you these things for you to blurt them out, Taeji,” Taehyung says quickly, alarm in his voice as he looks back up at you with a sweet smile. “I’ll um, we’ll see you around. Thanks again, Y/N.”

Pretty coffee girl.

You walked away after that with a little wave, and the next day was the first time you had ever tried to avoid register duty at 9 AM for the 30 seconds it took for Taehyung to pick up his son and say, “the usual, please.” 

Of course you had been up all night thinking about Taeji saying “Pretty coffee girl,” and Taehyung getting flustered. He had a child for heaven’s sake, which means he had a wife or a girlfriend or somebody you knew you couldn’t interfere with. Taehyung was incredibly attractive, and you wish you would have initiated something earlier before that whole awkward situation went down the day before.

“Hey, you’ve got someone requesting you at the register,” Seol, your coworker and what you could pretty call a good friend, said with a smirk on her face. You groaned.

“Can you say I’m not here? No, just say I’m in the bathroom. Say I’m going home because of a new found disease that the entire country of South Korea is getting and everybody just needs to go home and not show their faces,” you exhaled, adding, “to anyone. Especially, me.”

Seol stood at the door with her hands on her hips. “Stop being such a baby. Go out and see him!”

So you got up and stormed past her, prepared to meet the face of the All Time Perpetrator of Y/N’s Embarrassment and his accomplice, but was shocked to see Jackson’s face smiling at you instead, dimples and all.

“What the hell! You said you were going to be gone another week!” You yelled, running out into the front to grab him in a hug, breathing in the scent you missed more than anything. You were vaguely aware of a few pairs of eyes on you, Taehyung’s being one of them.

“You’re gonna make me cry,” You said, smacking his arm as you pulled away from his arms, rubbing at your tearful eyes. Jackson only laughed, throwing his head back and walking forward to pull you into another hug.

“I got back early and figured I could come and visit,” he said quietly into your shoulder, pulling back just enough to see your face. Jackson leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead - something he did a lot, and you were confused at first when you first got to that stage in your friendship, but enjoyed it now that you could call him your best friend.

You smiled, before pulling away from him completely and yelled over the counter that you were going to take an early lunch. Your best friend, someone you’ve known since you were born, practically, was finally home from his little tour around Asia, and you couldn’t be happier.

“Come on, let’s go out to eat or something. I want to hear all about the tour!” You grinned, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the exit. You didn’t notice the body in front of you as you were too focused on talking to Jackson, who was trailing behind you. 

“Oh, god, I’m sorry.” You begin apologizing after you had collided with no one other than Taehyung, his phone now on the ground. You and Jackson stood next to each other, hands dropped to each others sides as you watched Taehyung completely ignore you as he picked up his phone - a large, aching crack running down the middle of the screen - and continue talking into it.

“Let’s go, he’s busy,” Jackson whispered, his eyes following Taehyung as he wanders around the front of the store and talking quickly into the phone. Taehyung looked worried, and you suddenly thought about the first day you met him. He looked so defeated, so worried that you almost wanted to go over and offer him another coffee or a listening ear but decided to drop it. That it was his business. 

As Taehyung hung up the phone, he walked up to you and Jackson with his head held high but there was something about the shining in his eyes that threw you off. 

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung, I can buy you another phone or repair the screen, I-I wasn’t looking and-” You said, but was cut off but the waving of Taehyung’s hand.

“It’s alright, it’s time for me to upgrade anyway,” He said, letting a breezy laugh come through. He then looked curiously at the man beside you, his eyes taking in Jackson’s face and inconspicuously sweeping down his body.

“This is Jackson, my best friend. He just got back from a long trip, we were going to go out to lunch...” You trailed off, looking up at Jackson then back at Taehyung. You wondered if it was too early, but there were three of you, right? “Would you like to join us?”

Jackson’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you but he didn’t say anything, and you were grateful. You hadn’t had the time to update him about your new found crush on Taehyung, the guy who came in with his kid every morning to order the same thing each day. 

Taehyung looked hesitant, and it was showing on his face. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed, eyes downcast. “I, uh,” he began, but looked at his phone buzzing again in his hand and decided, “Sure. Thanks.”

The three of you sat awkwardly at a round, brown table at the little bohemian restaurant at the end of the block, and you sat sipping your iced tea wondering if this was that great of an idea in the first place. You could sense the tension on Taehyung, clinging to him like Taeji did to his leg when you found him in the hallway the day before.

“So, Taehyung, where do you work?” Jackson asked, settling back in his wicker chair. 

Taehyung smiles, one not quite meeting his eyes. “I work for a company based in the US. I’m the CEO of the branch here. My office is about a block from here.” He says, taking his drink into his hand and sipping from the straw. 

A CEO? You thought, trying to mask your surprise with your hand, then sneaking a glance at Jackson. He had a look of surprise on his face as well, but you knew he was slightly apprehensive of Taehyung. “Oh, cool. Y/N says you have a little boy?” Jackson said, eyebrow up as if he was challenging Taehyung.

Your custom - friend..ish, only smiled and put his drink back down on the coaster in front of him. “I do.” Is all he said, and the three of you went silent. It was so awkward, and you could all feel it, but then Taehyung cleared his throat and stood up. 

“I should be getting back. Work’s calling,” he said, lifting his hand to show his phone buzzing wildly. 

When he waved and hurried off, Jackson turned to you with a look of total disdain on his face. He pulled out his phone, asking, “What was his last name again?” 

You scoffed. Jackson was clearly annoyed and totally apprehensive of Taehyung. “It’s Kim, but I don’t want you to go and -”

“Wow, apparently he was involved in a huge scandal with the company. It’s dated about a year ago,” Jackson read, the light from his phone reflecting in his curious brown eyes. His hand thrust out at you, shoving the article in your face. “Jackson, I don’t want to read that -”

Your best friend cocks his head. “I don’t think you should get involved with this guy. Looks like he’s got a lot of...baggage.” Jackson says, scrolling down to where there was a picture of Taehyung holding onto little Taeji’s hand. You narrowed your eyes and noticed the little boy had tears streaming down his face and Taehyung’s eyes were bright red, his face partially covered with a black surgical mask. Taeji looks much younger, and you’re realizing that this was around the time they began coming into the cafe every morning.

What’s in store for little Kim Taeji now?

January 8th, 2016 - Kim Taehyung was spotted holding hands with his newfound son, Taeji, just a day after Choi Minsoo’s death. The 3 year old’s mother died on impact during a pile-up including two semi-trucks and six vehicles, resulting in over 15 deaths just yesterday morning. Taeji was not in the car. It is reported that Kim did not know of his son’s existence before he was contacted by police and hospital authorities regarding legal parental rights of the child.

Kim Taehyung was involved with a fraud scandal regarding the South Korean branch of the Grandiose Royal Hotels Corporation at the end of 2015. Grandiose Royal is the most successful hotel chain known across several countries. Kim Taehyung was found not guilty of fraud charges early 2016, only days before he was granted full custody of his son. If he had been found guilty, his son would not be in his care.

You leaned back in your chair, taking in a deep breath then looking pointedly at Jackson. “He’s not a criminal, Jackson. We all have baggage, and if you’re referring to his son as baggage, then what are you to me?” You spit, standing up and gathering your jacket and purse. You’re not aware of the heat rising in your chest and the anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach until you’re outside walking down the street. Why you’re getting so defensive over Taehyung, you don’t know, but you’re not sure if you want to find out.

a/n: there will be much much more Tae in the next chapter and some smuttttt 

[wellesleyunderground]

Four Weddings and a Funeral reviewed by Lakshmi Gandhi (@LakshmiGandhi) & Asha Sundararaman ‘04 (@mixedtck)

This review first appeared on Lakshmi and Asha’s weekly newsletter - sign up here!

We love a good rom com and screenwriter Richard Curtis's 1994 "Four Weddings and a Funeral" has always been a favorite of the genre. (Who could forget Hugh Grant at his most bumbly and floppy-haired as he courts the elusive Andie McDowell?)

That was one of the reasons we were both surprised and intrigued when it was announced that Mindy Kaling would be making a Hulu series based on the classic film. This is also one of the reasons it pains us so much to reveal that the resulting series is NOT GOOD. In fact, it's pretty actively bad and is strange and painful to watch.

Fortunately, we watched (most of!) the available episodes so that you, dear readers, don't have to.

(Editor's note: As usual, we're going to spoil everything, but we can't imagine anyone voluntarily spending their time with these characters, so it's ok!)

Lakshmi: Asha, I hadn't read anything about this series going in for once, so while I knew the reviews were iffy I simply wasn't prepared for the extent of the badness. All of the scripts felt like first drafts? None of the romantic relationships made sense?! The New York Times review was brutal:

The show, which has almost nothing in common with the film except for a London setting, comes from the creators Mindy Kaling and Matt Warburton, but without any of the clever sparks they brought to “The Mindy Project.” Though it is set in England, the four main characters are American. They are allegedly best friends, but no one has anything in common nor do any of them have any chemistry, platonic or romantic. The inevitable couple seems like a bad match, and no two characters seem like they’re on the same show. Do not go to the chapel; do not get married.

Asha: I hadn't read much about it either. (Also, full disclosure, I actually haven't watched the original movie.)

Lakshmi: What?! We need to get that fixed immediately. But (as you’ve probably guessed) the basic premise is that Hugh Grant goes to four weddings and a funeral (of course) and all of the characters grow and change as a result of those five events.

Asha: Right, makes sense. (Also, I promise that I will watch the original film soon.)

Lakshmi: But in addition to the original being super white and super upper crust English (which is different from this adaptation in perhaps a bad way) the film had a lot of depth. This series has all American main characters and is just strange because so many aspects are nonsensical.

First, what are the odds that all of your good friends from your college experience in the US will land cushy jobs in London?!

Asha: Right?! I went to grad school in London, so I kept wondering how all of them had work visas! Banking, I could see, but starting a design business? Working as a teacher? None of it makes sense!

Lakshmi: And none of them even have English parents or seemed to go to grad school there (two other routes to getting visas). Also, since none of them are actually married when the series begins, they don’t qualify for spousal visas either.

Asha: Exactly.

Lakshmi: So there was a definite "what about Brexit? How did any of you get visas?" feeling throughout my viewing experience.

Asha: Mine too, especially having lived there.

Lakshmi: Yes! And you can definitely speak more one this (I've never lived in the United Kingdom) but my impression has always been that it is REALLY hard to get a UK work visa. And Brexit of course makes it clear that the political climate is not friendly to non-UK born people or immigrants of any kind.

Asha: it's definitely not easy. I know people who've done it post-grad school, mostly working for multinational corporations. But moving to London after college on a whim? Nah.

Lakshmi: Right. The only people I know who moved to London on a whim did so without documentation (meaning they worked off the books in restaurants while they had their quarter life crisis or whatever).

So Brandon Mychal Smith's character's job is the only one that sounds legit (he works for a giant financial institution.)

Plus,  these people would never be friends in real life. Additionally, no one is likeable and no one has anything in common. There is no thread that unites them at all (and the same goes for all of their partners)

But let's back up a little and talk about the plot.

The pilot episode starts with Maya (Nathalie Emmanuel from ‘Game of Thrones’) arriving in Heathrow for one of the weddings in the show's title. Her bag goes missing and she throws a fit (she's extremely unlikeable in those scenes!) and an airline manager, the middle aged British Pakistani Haroon Khan (who is played by the Indian actor Harish Patel) asks his son Kash to help her.

That is the big meet cute of the first episode. The twist of course is that Maya soon discovers that Kash is engaged to her friend Ainsley and in fact their wedding is the one Maya flew to London to attend. I have no idea what Kash and Ainsley saw in each other and the subsequent scenes never give us any clues either!

Asha: Well, to be fair, I think that was the point. They liked the facade of each other, rather than who they actually were.

Lakshmi: But they never talked about anything? Ainsley is definitely part of the one percent (her parents fund her entire business AND rent a London townhouse for her.) Kash lives with his widower father and little brother in a working class neighborhood.

Plus they were going to have a Church of England wedding and no one talks about how they are of different faiths (the dad mentions it as an aside only after things go south). And the dad makes a joke about not drinking alcohol yet Ainsley gifts Kash with whiskey glasses (I get that Kash obviously drinks alcohol, but it's still strange that they ever made a "oh we're not supposed to be doing this" joke or anything.

Asha: Well, it is pointed out in episode 2 that the whiskey glasses were a bad gift...

Lakshmi: But not because of the religious tradition thing! But because of because of the impersonal nature of whiskey glasses as a gift.

And it's strange (especially in England of all places) to have a relationship like that and never talk about money or standing or whatnot.  It was one of the many reasons I wished this show had been transported to New York or Boston or LA or somewhere else in the United States.

Asha: But once again, that was kind of the point, they didn't talk about anything!

Lakshmi: So why were they getting married in the first place? And all of the couples had the same problem! They were all terrible communicators.

Asha: Yes, that's true.

Lakshmi: Why were Zara and Craig together?

Asha: I have no idea.

Lakshmi: Craig was the Brandon Mychal Smith character who worked at the huge bank. Zara herself spent a lot of her time exotifying him too.

I also need to point out (and this continues Mindy's terrible record with regard to writing Black characters)  all of Craig’s storylines were AWFUL and I feel comfortable calling them othering and borderline racist.

For example, there is a joke in which Craig says six girls asked him to prom and the punchline is that "one of them was my Spanish teacher." (And readers know me well enough by now to know that was a huge cringe and a big no for me.)

And then! He gets a message out of the blue from a girl he hooked up with six years ago and it turns out.. dun dun dun... he has a secret baby! Gross and also... why didn't they give one of their upper crust white British male characters that storyline? Choosing to give your only Black character a secret baby is a weird decision! It just seemed unnecessary and his partner was so disconnected from him and the realities of his life.

Basically, I cannot believe that money and class weren't more of an issue in all of these relationships with British people. Mindy must have read Austen at some point? (or any other British novel, hahaha)

Asha: One would think! But they actually do bring up class issues a bit in episode three with their British friend Gemma. She's "new money" which means she ends up being the butt of the joke in her British social circles.

Lakshmi: Yes, that was interesting! But by episode three the series had been so frustrating to me that I couldn't appreciate the good parts as much as I should have. For example, episode one was BAD but episode two was JUST MEDIOCRE and episode three was JUST OK but the badness of the pilot made my tolerance for the rest go down a bunch.

Asha: I want to say that the show does have some good parts! I enjoyed the relationship between Kash and his family.

Lakshmi: Yes, I loved that as well. The dad was a well written character. And they watch a British game show that is a lot like Jeopardy! every night, which felt like something most South Asian families would do Plus there were little asides where they did talk about religion and those also felt real.

Asha: I actually feel like the dynamic between Kash, Kash's dad and his brother was the best part of the show. All three were the standout characters of the series.

Lakshmi: I wish they had made Kash the central character, rather than Maya.

Asha: Agreed.

Lakshmi: And the child who played the little brother Asif was also very good.

Asha: Definitely

Lakshmi: I liked this thread by the author Rachel Hawkins on the show:

Nathalie Emmanuel deserves better than Four Weddings and a Funeral, OOF. I ADORE Mindy Kaling, but this is so bad I kind of can't believe it exists.

Asha: The entire show was just so underwritten.

Lakshmi: And I know I keep sounding like a broken record but we never really see why these characters are friends.

Asha: Well, they might be that group of college friends who are best friends because they were best friends in college and would have grown apart if it weren't for the fact that they all moved abroad

Lakshmi: Perhaps... but usually those tight bonds don't last even if you do end up being in the same place. I mean, why live in England (or set your show in England) if the characters hang out with and act like Americans all day.

Asha: Hahaha, that was the one realistic thing to me actually

Lakshmi: I don’t know...this would have been a great show to set in Boston or another upper crust New England town. I show featuring characters that went to boarding school and their working class New England friends would have been so good. (and that concept hasn't been explored in a modern day show in a while.) Plus, Mindy is from Massachusetts! She missed the boat there!

Asha: Well...she did go to private school, and to Dartmouth....

Lakshmi: So it's her world! She should have done it!

Asha: Her world was minus the working class New Englanders!

Lakshmi: She could have gotten other writers for those scenes. I feel like a lot of the parts that especially annoyed us would have been eliminated had this been an American show..

Asha: That's probably true.

Lakshmi: You've seen “Love Actually,” right?

Asha: Yes.

Lakshmi:  So a lot of the scenes here were like “Love Actually” fanfiction (another thing reviewers pointed out.) There's a novelist who flirts with a woman who speaks English as a second language. There's a weird choir that pops up during one of the weddings.

Those scenes with the French teacher did illustrate how fragile male writers are!

Asha: Hahahahaha

Lakshmi: Seriously though! Anyway, the character Duffy gives her a draft of his novel to read. It's a 1200 page book (and everyone knows about my strong belief that nothing needs to be above 350 pages!) and he asks her for honest feedback.

But when he receives honest feedback he goes nuts and acts like a baby (which is totally unsurprising.) He’s even so upset that he asks her to leave his home.

Asha: he does make amends later on, once he realizes that none of his friends who praised his book had actually read it.

For the record, her feedback was that there were 20 pages of that 1200 that were great! Plus, those pages she liked were at the end, so he should be appreciative that she engaged with the work! His was so gross and so thin-skinned.

Asha: it really means that you're too attached to your work and that you see it as a reflection of who you are as a person. It also means you're not ready to be a professional writer.

Lakshmi: I strongly feel that the way people respond to edits reflects who they are as a person. This has nothing to do with the show at all really, but I maintain there is one way to know everything you need to know about a person, and that’s by FACT CHECKING THEIR WORK.

The person who blows up when you ask "oh,where did you get that stat from?” is insecure in all aspects of their life. Also, "Remember to spell check" is never a personal attack, but you'd be surprised at how many people act as if it is! So I think that's why I had such a personal reaction to that scene (and kept wondering at why Mindy and the other writer put it in.)

Asha: Hmm...I don't agree that it reflects who they are as a person. But i do think it means they're probably insecure, ha.

Lakshmi: So you do agree it reflects SOME aspects of their personality. I don’t know, as a fact checker, I just want to make sure we're accurate and don’t get sued! But I'm kind of used to people blowing up when I ask questions like "can you send me the link to this study?" (which should be a neutral question but rarely is).

ANYWAY, another annoying thing was how Maya randomly decides to stay in England after going through her own breakup and then starts interviewing with Members of Parliament essentially right away. Again, my brain went to the place of "what about Brexit?!”

Asha: Same.

Lakshmi: Even the most liberal Labour Party member probably doesn't want to deal with the optics of hiring an American on a whim? There are people in England who would kill for those jobs...

But it was interesting to see Maya process the aftermath of her affair. She had been working for a New York Senator and had an affair with him. She then realizes that she never knows why these other politicians are granting her interviews. Are they hoping for an affair as well?

(Maya is VERY talented but she feels like people are overlooking her skills because of her personal life.) I actually thought those scenes were some of the most realistic of the series.

Asha: Well, other than the fact that she was an American interviewing for British political positions, which as we’ve noted wasn’t at all realistic.

Lakshmi: Of course. But that internal conflict was very real.

Lakshmi: OK, we went well over our usual time! (We always have strong feelings about Mindy's work!) My final thought was that I just couldn’t believe this novelist dude thought his friends had read his work.

I feel like writers would be a lot happier if they realized their nearest and dearest probably aren't going to read their stuff (and oftentimes won't even buy their stuff!) and that sometimes that is all for the best.

Asha: Agreed.

Lakshmi: Also if you ask for honest critique and then blow up when you receive it 1) you aren't a good person 2) you shouldn't write publicly, because Goodreads reviewers aren't going to be as kind as a woman invited to your house as a guest. (She was really sweet about delivering the feedback; everyone should be that kind and deliberate when giving honest reactions.)