#//not really an ask meme but fuck the system

[aethernalstars]

*drops this meme and leaves*

[aroacedavestrider]

(Multiple System ask meme) 7, 10, 21?

last one from @flare-dragon i sent to myself yeeeehaaew

heres 7 heres 10 and heres the ask meme if you wanna send one in

21.) running jokes within the system?

disclaimer: with a lot of our system in-jokes our friends in our discord server are in on like all of them too so uuod if you guys see this and youre like "LMAO i know this" thats On Purpose and you guys are an inseparable aspect of our sense of humor . xoxo

one time we were delivering a pizza and i saw a rubber ball in the customers yard and i audibly said "oh. ball in yard behavior". ?????????????? nobody has let me live it down

the Horse Curse in which we (completely unprepared) are plagued by images and mentions of horses

kevins 50th birthday bonanza 😈 shawtys: free✅✅ anyone else: seven dollas❌❌ he do be 50 doe😳😳🍽🤓 (ask and ill post it)

spronk(tm) and the church of spritekat. this has expanded to include the classpecting of ronald mcdonald as a lord of space and also the creation of the jerma pantheon (@jermapantheon)

qiu HATES carrots so the rest of us have "carrot duty" aka someone else will have to come switch spots with him at pilot to eat a fucking carrot lest we literally get physically bodily nauseous

lynette is french and it is so so scary

[centrally-unplanned]

VOR: Henry Kissinger

Ugh, HUGELY overrated, Bismark has nothing on him. What, truly are his accomplishments? Oh, rapprochement with China? You mean the country that had just experienced a huge split with the Soviet Union, to the point where they were scared of military conflict, that was simultaneously backing North Vietnam in a war against the US? And so we opened doors to them and gave them literally everything they asked for, hanging Taiwan out to dry, and in return got absolutely nothing; China's aid to North Vietnam actually *increased* the year after? The corpse of a roadkill dog could have done that.

The "cease fire" with North Vietnam? That's just losing with coat of paint to poorly cover the shame! At least he had the self-respect to try to return his Nobel Peace prize. Ho Chi Minh handed him his ass on a platter and somehow that is a win on his ledger.

Accelerating arms sales to the Shah of Iran in order to back separatist fighters in Iraq? Whoops! Wow, that uh, wow what a call there. Really picked the right side.

Coup against Allende in Chile? That went well! Not to mention...he didn't. Chile coup'd Chile, Allende was a complete disaster imploding the country's economy. The Chilean military asked for permission as like a token gesture, we gave them support that didn't matter. Its like taking credit for a sports team win because you bought box seats, except at this game they dropped the opposing team's family out of a helicopter headfirst onto the pitch.

All the SALT treaty stuff started under Johnson, he continued it which is fine but is VORcel stuff. His grand "pivot to Europe" was trying to link trade policy to increases in defense spending from European partners...which didn't happen. They didn't increase them. We gave them trade deals anyway. Its fucking Trump without the memes.

On March 1, 1973, Kissinger stated, "The emigration of Jews from the Soviet Union is not an objective of American foreign policy, and if they put Jews into gas chambers in the Soviet Union, it is not an American concern. Maybe a humanitarian concern.

Awww "I'm such a cool little edgy boy, look at me and my joke about the Holocaust when discussing systemic discrimination against Jews the Soviet Union, surely this will somehow score me Realpolitik points on the Big Board that I can cash in for prize money while shedding America's moral legitimacy because it makes my dick hard."

He is the academic definition of style over substance, snottily walking from fuck-up to disaster to status-quo free ride and putting a pithy quote about The Nature of Power over it to pretend he had any to begin with. Hurry up and die already so I can stop running into you haggling over hostess tips at overpriced Georgetown restaurants.

F-

[hmslusitania]

Ask meme! For TimKon, either 17. “Please stay.” or 34. “When did you know for sure?”

May I offer you: an angst with a happy ending? (who am I kidding; it's you, of course I can)

“When did you know?” Kon asks, staring out well past the horizon. Tim thinks that surely, he must see it, must be able to tell, he’s got fucking super vision of various sorts, but… But he sounds so dejected about it. Like he… like he hadn’t been able to tell. “For sure, I mean, when did you figure it out?”

“Um,” Tim says, and picks up a handful of sand on this very not-at-all real version of Kon’s favourite beach in Hawaii. “Last… night.”

Kon’s face burns bright red and Tim can’t really look at him anymore.

It all feels too real, even though this place isn’t anything of the sort.

And he’s pretty sure that includes Kon.

It had been a smart plan, Tim can tip his hat at the villain du jour for that, at least metaphorically. Trap Tim in a simulated reality, but instead of making it somewhere he knows inside and out, like Gotham, like Happy Harbour, they’d programmed him into a place he only knows in story and rumour. Tim wouldn’t really have any way of determining if there were differences between the real Hawaii the real Kon’s been talking about for as long as Tim’s known him, and this fake, simulation of it. And the programmers had done a pretty perfect job with Kon, too, except for the parts where he can’t tell that this whole place is a simulation, and the part where…

“My Kon, I mean the one who’s not a computer programme, because, like, he’s not mine, mine,” Tim starts. “He’s not… y’know. In love with me.”

Kon is silent for a minute, just staring out at the water and at the small waves lapping steadily higher up the beach while the sun rises. Tim would find this whole conversation a lot less excruciating if computer!Kon was wearing more than boxers with the House of El logo on the crotch, but, well, this simulation was designed to trap and torture him, so he’s not.

“I don’t feel like a computer simulation,” Kon says finally, and buries his toes in the sand like he’s making a point of feeling the sensations. “I remember — I remember meeting you when you were still Robin and I didn’t know who I was beyond Superman’s replacement, and I remember Bart, and Young Justice, and Cassie, and the Teen Titans, and dying and—”

“They probably built you off a brain scan of the real Kon,” Tim says. Tact and gentleness have never been his fortes but, fuck he tries this time.

“Right, and just, like, tweaked my memories so that I can remember being in love with you half that time, and the entire time I was lost in Gemworld, and—”

“Yeah, I guess they must’ve,” Tim says, even though it makes him want to puke. “This place is too… it’s too perfect. You’re too perfect.”

Kon scoffs, and makes a choked off noise that’s all too familiar after last night and Tim flushes with shame that he knows what Kon sounds like now. The thing is, it’s a very, very good simulation, and this isn’t knowledge Tim should have, because out in the real world, Kon doesn’t want to share that information with him.  It’s none of Tim’s business, no matter how desperately he wants it to be.

“Nice to know I’m apparently good enough in bed to convince you it’s all too good to be true,” Kon says, with forced bravado.

Tim swallows, because that assessment isn’t untrue, but it’s only part of the story. “Also I think my biometrics must’ve spiked high enough to temporarily overload the system, because a bird clipped through our room while we were, uh…”

“Oh,” Kon says, blushing even harder. “So, um, now that you know this is fake, does that mean you’re going to escape?”

“Yeah,” Tim says. He swallows. “I just have to crash the programme, make it generate something so insanely huge its processing power can’t keep up.”

“Oh, right, just that,” Kon says. He very gamely swallows, and because he’s built on a very convincing facsimile of Tim’s real Kon, he stands up and nods. “So what do you need me to do?”

**

Tim is not surprised when the explosion they trigger in the simulation tips him out of it’s destabilising pixelated mess into a sketchy futuristic lab. Spaceship? Probably spaceship by the black starfield outside the windows.

He is surprised when his own exit from the gel couch matrix situation is echoed by someone else in another matching chair thing behind him.

He grabs for any kind of weapon available and rounds the central structure, ready to strike, only to find himself face to face with—

“Kon?” he demands. “You’re here too?”

Kon defuses the heat vision that had been starting to build behind his eyes, and then just stares at Tim, blushing a violent red like the heat vision had dispersed through his cheeks.

“Of course he is here too,” an annoyed voice that gives major evil scientist vibes says over the PA. “The simulation traps work best when there are two parties within them to reinforce the shared folie à deux!”

“Sh-shared?” Kon asks.

“Both of us were in the same—” Tim starts, and he understands Kon’s blush better now because he can feel his own viciously taking over his face.

“You thought I was a simulation,” Kon says, floating out of his matrix plug in chair to loom over Tim even taller than he usually is.

“You’re in lo—” Tim starts, but their captor’s voice crackles over the PA system again.

“Yes, yes, teenaged angst. You may continue your argument once my assistants have placed you back in your simulation!”

“We’re twenty-one, actually,” Tim corrects. “And you can—”

He means to tell the disembodied voice exactly where he can expect Tim’s bo staff (as soon as he finds it in one of the cargo pods here in this space station situation they’ve got going on) but Kon cuts him off by pulling Tim’s face into his hands and kissing him.

No birds clip through the walls this time, and the sensation of Kon’s TTK sweeping over him, like it’s not enough to just be touching Tim with his hands, like he has to touch all of him at once, is one that Tim hadn’t been able to fully conjure up out of his imagination. It’s different enough that Tim actually forgets for a second that they’re imprisoned on a space station and have been under for god knows how long, and he seriously considers simply climbing Kon like a tree right then and there to get the actual physical details mapped out.

“I can’t believe you thought my love confession was a simulation,” Kon murmurs against Tim’s lips.

Tim hums and kisses him again. Really, actually kisses Kon. Who really, actually wants to kiss him, too. “I meant it when I said you’re too good to be true.”

“Good thing we’re in a really shitty situation we need to figure our way out of if we want to get back to earth so I can show you the real version of that beach,” Kon says. “Because that part feels pretty on par.”

“Yeah,” Tim agrees, and sighs. He can hear the distant thuds of whatever sorts of robocop automata their captor has coming towards them now, and this fight’s gonna kinda suck, he thinks. At least there will be one hell of a reward for making it through to the other side. “Ready to fight for our lives?”

“With you?” Kon asks, and can’t help himself but to pull Tim in for one more kiss. “Always.”

[sectumsempraaa]

Being coworkers w/ the Slytherin boys (headcanons)

feat. Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Lorenzo

this one’s for the working folks bc you KNOW these guys would make work so much more fun!! :)

Draco:

- extremely punctual

- judges you for how you write emails

- picks you up in his car before your shift every day

- has a kettle plugged in AT his desk for maximum tea drinking

- will often leave you a cup on your desk too without you asking for it

- writes 95% of paperwork by hand

- kisses ass to your boss but vents to you later about how much he hates them

- overdresses even on casual fridays

- takes his lunch break with you every day and has your meals delivered (doesnt even ask what you want, he’s just good at this)

- gets turned on when you sit on his desk and look down at him

Mattheo:

- consistently 5-10 minutes late but everyone’s just kinda used to it

- takes mass transportation bc he keeps failing his drivers test

- stops to get you both coffee before work (thats why he’s late!!)

- will respond to emails you’re too scared to answer

- similarly will pick up the phone when you don’t want to

- office pranks galore with this guy

- calls you from his desk (it’s next to yours) to ask you to meet him somewhere so y’all can makeout

- also calls you when he sees someone he KNOWS you hate trying to talk to you at your desk to get you out of it

- post-shift treat several times a week

- most likely to pleasure you from under your desk 🤭

Theo:

- gets distracted easily and falls behind on work

- is so quiet no one really even knows he’s there

- bribes the office manager into making you his secret santa

- has a private email thread between the two of you that goes on and on all day with complete nonsense and memes

- visits your cubicle and sits there for like an hour at a time

- holds your hand under the table during meetings

- “ugh can we go home now” “theo we haven’t even clocked in yet”

- hacks the system to change the schedule around so you always have the same shifts

- cooks your lunches at home and brings them to work for you

- 100% takes naps under his desk when you’re out sick and he’s alone/bored

Blaise:

- gets along with everyone

- often leads meetings and presentations bc everyone trusts him

- winks at you from across the office several times a day

- has everything in his desk from stain remover to first aid kit to microwaveable ramen

- checks each paycheck (and yours) to make sure y’all get paid RIGHT

- hugs you from behind your chair like 1000 times a day (ft. neck kisses)

- flies paper cranes into your cubicle with cheesey pick up lines

- knows how to get your fav snacks from the vending machine without paying

- will randomly do some of your tasks bc he’s so ahead on his

- LOVES a business trip and gets you two ALL the travel upgrades

Lorenzo:

- does not give a fuck about getting anything done

- but somehow is pretty much always caught up/in good standing

- does the bare minimum but makes up for it by being extremely charming

- faxes you (yes, faxes) memes when he is extra bored

- steals people’s things off their desk if he doesn’t like them

- never abides by the dress code

- lies to your boss to get you out of meetings and leave work early

- convinces you to call out with him so you can spend the day together

- has a keycard that opens every door in the building, don’t ask how he got it

- switches nametags/IDs with you and thinks its the funniest thing in the world

- headphones in 24/7

ALL of them love to say “if you ever leave i have to quit too. i can’t work here without you” and they MEAN it!!

[the-moon-files]

Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?

get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO

im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations

(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)

(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)

Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)

Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly

Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links

Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,

i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff

but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,

why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??

not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,

id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,

“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”

when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc

and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao

is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol

very much so this meme:

(ur welcome i made it myself <3)

anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic

abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,

but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao

the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”

Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,

has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species

(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)

Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too

tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule

you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out

(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)

☆

i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks

no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys

i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/

pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow

AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians

have a great week!!

Peace out hugs and chaos,

🌙

[thewertsearch]

FUTURE terminallyCapricious [FTC] 0:42:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. […] FTC: HEY BEST MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND. FTC: what all seems to be the motherfuckin problem? :o) […] CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD FTC: i'm in your future, best friend. FTC: I KNOW WHERE YOU MOTHERFUCKING ARE. FTC: and what you'll motherfuckin do. […] FTC: and also. […] FTC: i'm all about to be meeting up some friends. :o) […] FTC: i wonder if you can all be at with me in time and make me get my reconsider on?

... is it just me, or does it kind of sound like Gamzee's asking for help here?

Instead of directly threatening his friend, he's asking if Karkat will help him 'reconsider' - almost as though there's a piece of him that doesn't want to be trapped in a murderous rage, and it's trying to make itself heard.

Do I spot some ominous purple text in the corner?

I do.

Well, Terezi isn’t the worst person for Gamzee to run into on his rampage. A Seer like her will immediately understand that he's snapped - and she's no slouch in the combat department, either, so I don't think she'll be easy pickings.

Things might get dicey, however, if Gamzee pulls out the power he used against the Black King. We have no idea what that even looks like - but Terezi does, so she at least shouldn't be blindsided by it.

Anyway, what does our resident detective make of the dearly departed Tavros?

Before the full investigation is underway, a legislacerator will always have a chief suspect in mind. The one she will hold guilty until proven otherwise, a process customarily taking place after the execution.

That sounds about right for the Alternian ‘justice’ system. I’d ask what happens if a suspect is proven innocent after their execution, but that presupposes that Alternia even has a concept of 'proving someone innocent'.

In any case, a stopped clock is still right twice a day, and Terezi's corrupt methods have lead her to the correct culprit. What's her next move?

Above, you detect faint traces of what you reckon to be special stardust, such as the kind left behind by the flapping wings of a mischievous fairy.

I knew Terezi’s sense of smell was impressive, but I didn’t think she could go full bloodhound. She really is the most well-equipped troll for this new, more dangerous Veil.

And not far from that, you detect bright trails of white light. It smells... hopeful.

All three killers are in the vicinity, then.

... look at me, already calling Gamzee a killer. To our knowledge, he hasn't harmed anyone thus far - but I'm fully convinced he intends to, based purely on the strength of his most recent Pesterlogs.

The writing there was genuinely impressive. In just a few dozen lines, Hussie has completely sold me on the idea that the funny meme clown is dead fucking serious about violently murdering his friends.

[doyouremem8erme]

mutual 1: save me doomed yuri. save me

mutual 2: i think id be happier if my boobs were replaced with small and friendly sharks

mutual 3: who wants to get trapped in a narrative with me. it does have to be weird

mutual 4: (13 consecutive reblogs of fanart of a podcast ive never listened to)

mutual 5: hey check out this insane piano composition youll be zonked out of your gourd

mutual 6: (insanely detailed and vibrant art) drew this in the bathtub lol

mutual 7: what if wolverines invented religion. they could make vehicles out of abandoned shopping carts

mutual 8: i love my blorbos what do you mean theyre my ocs. from my brain

mutual 9: theres something so beautiful aboutmaking fun animal noises. BARKBARKBARK AWOOOOO

mutual 10: (screenshots of a straight couple) theyre lesbians to me. theyre doomed yuri. do you see my vision

mutual 11: i love violence. women who love violence hmu.

mutual 12: the ibm system/360 has an almost sexual quality if i'm being honest

mutual 13: (art that could easily be seen displayed in a museum as a work of a fine master) its the yaoi

mutual 14: my idiot cat ate my entire fucking cake??? (# hes ok)

mutual 15: oh hatsune miku we're really in it now

mutual 16: (image of a character who has killed thousands and injured many more) shes like a sopping wet pathetic cat to me

mutual 17: i think i huave autism

mutual 18: (the same cryptic meme reblogged 50 times, interspersing with the rest of the dash)

mutual 19: for vampires drinking blood is like a sluttier version of eating pussy. especially if its gay

mutual 20: (responding to an incredibly vague and mysterious ask with no context) hello mutual x. i know its you

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

if it’s not too much trouble, could you share a bit about how to better support closeted/ just-cracked trans women?

Okay this is going to be a fairly long response, be warned. Its also based off personal experience (or lack of positive experience) from how I'm treated irl. also its 4 am some of this may be less coherent than I want but whatever.

The basics: name & pronouns. Ask who its safe to use these in front of!!! Dont out someone to their parents or partner or boss!! Otherwise use these as much as possible. Avoid deadnames and dead-pronouns as much as possible too - I am fine with being they/themed over he/him and prefer a nameless "later, nerd" to "bye, deadname". sometimes its unavoidable but many times its not. this is 101 stuff but I see lots of people forget it.

Going out and about: GO. WITH. HER. A LOT. She fucking needs it. Go clothes shopping together and teach her how to pick out good clothes/outfits and how to at least begin to decipher the mess that is sizing. Find her a "spinny skirt" (pleated mini skirt or skater skirt, forgot the exact one but anything similar to those) if she really wants one, I dont care how cringe you find the memes this is more important than Reddit Bad jokes. IF YOU ARE ABLE TO, TAKE HER TO THE WOMENS WASHROOM WITH YOU. yknow how girls go to the bathroom in groups for safety? yeah trans women need triple that safety and nobody provides it like ever, even other trans women. change that and be that safety. also, if youre like ordering food or at the cashier, always use the correct pronouns even if misgendering happens. if she gets a "what would you like sir" from the waiter, you are going to say something like "she would like a cheeseburger with fries and a fountain drink". this will save her ass from a lot of awkward correcting.

transitioning & hrt: if she needs a space to wear femme clothes safely, invite her over or go out together. try to avoid places where people she's not out to frequently go. for hrt, if you already accessed it HELP HER AS WELL. the amount of people who are like one step removed from pulling the ladder up behind them with regards to hrt is insane. so much "fuck you got mine" attitude in this community. anyways, DESCRIBE THE PROCESS YOU WENT THROUGH, STEP BY STEP. mention specific doctors, clinics, etc. if you do diy, mention the provider, what to look for on blood work, how to take it (injection, gel, etc) and send relevant articles/pages, about each part, not just the hrt wiki home page. if you have a prescription, mention ANY AND ALL procedures you went through to get hrt. psychologist? readiness assessment? any other screening process? DESCRIBE IN DETAIL WHAT YOU WERE ASKED AND HOW YOU ANSWERED. this can literally be a life saving thing. treat that information like the death star plans and she is the rebellion. precise motherfucking details. similar thing for any surgeries like ffs, tracheal shave, various types of bottom surgery. if you and her are going through different systems (say, you got it under 18 as a youth and she's 22 and no longer qualifies for that, or she wants diy while you have a prescription) then look up third party anecdotes as well. reddit is great for this as they often have city specific trans subreddits which lets you look at local doctors/clinics/providers & shipping. if she gets hit with dysphoria, "you are valid" CAN help new girls but as a half closeted girl for the past three years, I know I'm valid already thank you very much. dysphoria is different to each person, just be there to comfort her, help distract if nothing else. Teach her to shave if she wants, offer to do her makeup if you know how (some tutorials are made by and for trans women btw! check those out if you can). if she wants to order things online, anything from a flag to a dress to diy hrt, but can't for fear of outing, OFFER TO BE THE RECEIVING ADDRESS AND PASS IT ON IN PERSON. you can also try setting up a PO box away from home. covering some costs can potentially help lower suspicion but only do this of you have the money. in general just be a safe & informative helpful person who is willing to stand by her side.

Other general tips:

- if you are transfem yourself you will know and experience many of these things. do not withhold information like others do. did you have another trans person in your own life who helped you out when you first cracked? if yes, now its your turn. if no, then dont let her lose out on that too. actually support your sisters for once.

- if you are having sex, she may want to be submissive and/or bottom more as these are often "forbidden" when youre male. if thats compatible with you then try to accommodate that, and throw in some gender affirming stuff like a "good girl". praise kink often works well here, but always ask first. teach her how to bottom if she wants. AFTERCARE holy shit aftercare. yeah that should also be at least skmewhat gender affirming. dont skip out.

- the self doubt spiral: "you are valid" are the three words that get way more use than they really should. "valid" is so vague that its near useless. if you can, find the specific root (e.g. "I feel like a pervert cuz I get euphoria boners when I wear a sexy dress") and respond with counter examples that tell her she belongs, she is a woman, e.g. "youre not a pervert, plenty of cis women feel similar and enjoy dressing sexy as well". this is mainly for self doubt not other types of dyphoria.

- she will probably be really fucking depressed and possibly even suicidal at some point. usually close to egg crack or after a shitty experience. personally, I have a lot of passive suicidal thoughts where I dont wnat to make any attempts but wouldn't mind if I vanished, if it weren't for a few things. try to be there as a rock in the stream for her to hold onto during depression. it is fucking rough and in the words of bill withers, we all need somebody to lean on. eventually we will all stand tall together.

I am sure there's more but I think I covered most of the points I wanna make.

[azumasoroshi]

happy 12/24-25! i think too often about the “gege hates gojo” jokes because holy shit it is PERSONAL with gege

like yeah he sealed him and killed him but like. every aspect of gojo’s character is just so. gege really said “i’m going to make you the strongest character in the history of ever and you’re going to be cool and attractive and funny and your fans will love you, BUT:

The entire point of your character is that no matter how much power you have, you are helpless to save the people you truly care about

You’re so powerful that the only way you can narratively exist without destroying every enemy in jjk other than Sukuna is to get snatched away, sealed, get your powers taken away, or die (even in the fucking video game you only get a certain number of turns to act before you get yoinked)

You can never escape the system you were born into because your power has become your character

You’ll think you’re changing the system for the better but end up perpetuating the system anyway in allowing children to go on dangerous missions

You cannot supervise said children on dangerous missions because you’re running around Japan like a headless chicken at the whims of the higher ups

You never got the chance to fully grow up because a part of you died when Toji killed you and a part of you died when Suguru left you and what else is there left

Your own desire for power blinded you to your best friend’s depression and it’s one of your greatest regrets yet a part of you still thinks Suguru wasn’t strong enough to keep up which is why you keep saying you want strong allies who can keep up with you and you are just terribly equipped to handle your students’ emotional challenges and insecurities even though you try your best

You will never make any emotional connections as lovely as the one from your youth which you still cry about on the rare occasions you actually sleep

You will only be able to tell Suguru you love him right before you KILL HIM

No matter whether Suguru was your best friend, ex-boyfriend, crush that you never confessed to, or boy you only realized you were in love with after he left you, you will NEVER be able to get over him and an evil brain will use this against you and several people you care about will get fucked over because you cared too much

Even though your students/coworkers sometimes like you the first thing 99% of them think of when they think of you is “The Strongest” and even in your breakup arc Suguru, the one person you wanted to stand by your side and share the title, began to think of you in that way as well and distanced himself from you because of it.

The narrative requires that you be lonely at the top as a direct consequence of your power - even metaphorically, infinity separates you from the rest of the world and your wide range of destruction makes it so allies are a hindrance in battle and you could destroy the people you dare about in seconds (see: thank fuck todo stopped yuuji from stepping into range of purple)

You are going to fight the boy you may or may not have raised from childhood because of the other boy with Sukuna inside him that he asked you to save and you can’t hesitate because the last time you hesitated about someone you cared about you got sealed and people died

You may or may not have died to the strongest curse of all time and are left forever unsatisfied even in death because not only was your culty/cunty best friend not there to cheer you on, but you think Sukuna couldn’t even go all out against you, the strongest sorcerer of your time, despite strength being your whole thing

and as a bonus, you also “died” after cockily saying “Nah I’d win” which will get extensively memed on the internet at your expense”

like not to woobify gojo or anything but oh my god jesus fucking christ gege

he was like “ill make you hot as a treat mostly for myself because i like drawing hot men but you’re going to be so incredibly fucking doomed by the narrative in every possible way”

like he loves drawing shirtless men but he never drew gojo shirtless like gege!! GEGE!!!! what did he DO to deserve this level of narrative ire omfg

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross Guild romance AU -

Buggy makes his own explosives, which doesn't sound all that important until you sit back and think of the ramifications and knowledge required for that. Buggy is damn good with chemistry, math, physics, and I bet he was the brain to Shanks's brawn on the Oro Jackson; he'd probably have been all over Crocus whenever he could to learn more about anything and everything.

Crocodile and Mihaw don't really put the two together, given that they see Buggy primarily as an idiot and coward. It's when an epidemic spreads on the island that some odd things click into place-

Buggy has forgone the big costume, is in comfy and sturdy clothes. His face is painted minimally, hair tied into a tight bun, bandana on, and he's working side by side with the medical professionals. He's elbows deep in checking vitals, organizing charts, and even synthesizing medications. More members are sick than not, and they go under a near-quarantine lock down to handle the illness. Between working in the medical tents and taking care of his people, Buggy has also had a hand in organizing for resources to be sent and delivered.

Neither Croc nor Hawk had even considered some of the balls Buggy has gotten rolling. They both have very strong immune systems, so they rarely face or think of illness or sickness as something to prepare for or to account for, but this just exploded one day seemingly without warning, and the clown had a plan in motion by eevening.

It's at this point that they begin to wonder if maybe there's something more to their Chairman than they first thought...

((Bonus points, they catch Buggy coming back from a long shift at the medtent, sent off by the other's to get some rest, so he's just at that sweet spot of tired enough to lose filter. They ask about the medicines, and Buggy goes on a mini infodump about chemicals, hormones, enzymes, antioxidants and antibiotics, mentions that he and a few others already have a few batches baking, and sleepily chuckles about how "the simpler ones seem to work well so far, thank goodness. I was worried... *yawn* that I'd have to dip into my supplies for my testosterone... *falls asleep at the table*.

Croc just becomes the Spiderman meme of "TRANS???" when Buggy wakes up))

I LOVE this is an understatement, this is so good!!! I love Competent!Buggy so much!!! Why can't the clown be a fucking genius while being clown-failure babygirl he is?

Buggy having a plan by evening is because he has so much anxiety, I mean, look at the poor clown! It's always the things that he didn't think of that happens that gets him in trouble. But this, he can do this. I also love the headcanon, that Buggy learn a lot of things from Crocus, so he has this in the bag!

It would be funny if Buggy could be fine in a really bad pandemics, but the flu and whatever the happened near Laugh-Tale is his biggest sickness problems. What am I saying, back to this cool ask!

Buggy being competent because he doesn't want his crew to die or get really ill, not because he needs them to work, but because he wants them healthy and happy. Buggy forgoing the pillow onesie for something better, and not taking that much time on his makeup is so good, that just shows how he priorities his Nakama before himself is so cute! I have a headcanon that Buggy has a least a Field Medic degree or a Nurse one. Mihawk and Crocodile watching at the sidelines is what I see them doing, because like the clown's being competent and they see there's not much they can do in this.

Yes, on Buggy rambling on and on about things he does, I want Buggy to infodump so hard. Like really really hard, Buggy could go on and on about things that interests him for a while.

Buggy is every gender and nothing at all to me, and the spiderman meme with Crocodile is the only one pointing at Buggy while Buggy is confused and sleepy, while Mihawk is just there on the sidelines. Is really funny to me.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Like everybody else, I love young!recruit, but lately, the absolute treasure that is the Colonel is utterly taking up residence in my brain and refusing to leave. Pleeeeease, if you could indulge a simple anon, I'd be forever grateful 💜💜💜

Look… Colonel König is a gift from God!!

Imagine a calm, confident, emotionally stable and intelligent man who's worked on himself, Colonel König is the opposite of young recruit (who's basically a lovesick fuckboy), he calms a woman’s nervous system simply by entering the room. His colleagues respect him, his subordinates aim to please him, men want to be him, and women want to be with him... But he only has eyes and loins for you!

Man has a nice, healthy layer of fat on top of his muscles (unlike the young lean recruit who really ought to eat more) – it’s a shallow thing to do but you can't help but compare these two!Even his musk is somehow different, it’s better, less pungent... Nice and mellow, manly, robust, you sometimes pout when he says he has to take a shower :/

Colonel has a few scars on his neck, chest, abs: old wounds that have long since healed, but he absolutely loves it when you caress them like a maiden about to swoon. And it’s only natural that you worship his war-torn body, because Colonel König worships you.

Pulls you into his arms when he comes home, giving you a passionate, unhurried kiss. Takes a good, long look at you – his darling precious wife, look at how beautiful you are… Has to inhale your scent, good and deep, God, he has missed you so much...

And the way he makes love to you :// It's like he makes love to your soul, too. You could almost cry from how well he's attuned to your needs, man’s so present that you feel shy, even after all these years. Imagine getting flustered when he’s inside you, because you do, the attention is too much.

Colonel König looks deep into your eyes while he fucks you, with a small smile on his lips. Of course he sees how hot and bothered his pretty little wife is, getting sweaty and breathless even if it’s him who’s doing all the work. How did he even end up with such a needy woman...? He must’ve done something right…

And if you’re in need of a rougher ride, he’ll fuck you against a wall, sure, no problem! Man’s as strong as a bull, his stamina is not as through the roof as younger recruit’s but what the older Colonel lacks in desperate quickies he makes up in skill and quality loving <3

Strolls into the kitchen in the morning when you’re making coffee, large hands disappearing under your (his) shirt as he comes behind you and rumbles that he loves you. You find him staring at you, at the store when you're picking your favorite pickle jar, at home when you're reading a book. When you stop and smile and ask him why he's looking at you like that, he tilts his head and says: “Just admiring my beautiful wife :)”

Calls and checks up on you often, laughs huskily at the other end of the phone when you tell him about your silly work day. You get a feeling that you brighten his days with your adorableness, and when you send him cute cat videos, he likes every single one of them. Just imagining the respected, sometimes even feared Colonel watching cat videos in his office in the middle of the day, smiling and double tapping the screen before rerurning to his work, makes your heart hurt.

Young recruit only sends you dirty memes and suspicious gun videos... He only likes your selfies, and begs you to send him naughty videos while he's deployed :( If you sent him a cat video he'd probably joke about making a hat out of that cat...

When you tell the Colonel about young recruit's latest antics, he just sighs and says that the boy has a long way to go. Your husband is mainly interested in that the pup has managed to please you, and asks if he needs to give the rascal an earful... or a warning. You find yourself protecting the poor recruit who would, in truth, never survive the wrath of his older version. It's not that the Colonel enjoys unnecessary violence or would beat younger König into a pulp, it's just that he can get a little intimidating when it comes to the issue of pleasing and respecting his wife.

One wrong move, and the young recruit will fly out the door and won't be let in. Nope, not even if it rains and the sorry dog is whining and scratching at the door :((

[etherealsworldvision]

Let’s Soothe Your Mind

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about Save The Redwoods. They’re a non-profit organization who is committed to protect and restore redwood forests. If you’re interested do check out their website and if you’d like to further your support here is their donation link.

Divider Credits: @ianrkives & @plum98

New Song Discovery for the Reading: Reservations – Dugong Jr, Julia Lostrom, Keelan Mak

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings! Disclaimer: this is for entertainment only!

Added Description: all my readings are timeless and meant to reach those who resonate to the messages.

[ General Messages: Rain; Autumn; Libra and Leo Seasons, “My love do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops”- Candy Rain by Soul for Real, Longboards (Skateboarding and Surfing); Raya the Last Dragon; Dewdrop; Spicy (foods); Avatar the Last Airbender; Fire Flakes; Honeydew; Drinks; Tantrums; Saturn Hour; Saturn Placements and Aspects; (Smithsonian) Museums; 1010; Kendrick Lamar; Trouble - Taylor Swift; Caught Up; Cheat; Exclusion; (Reaction) Memes; Distrust; Camping; Tents; Connections; Frustration; Online ]

Pile 1

[ Cards: Justice; Moon Reversed; Ace of Wands; Seven of Cups Reversed; Two of Wands ]

Confirmation Messages: Gojo & Geto; Anxiety (Playlist); “Get off of me/Ew get away,” (directed towards emotions feeling stuck to your body or feels like “bugs” crawling on skin); Anxiousness; Nervousness; Shadow and Bones (?); Shadow Hunters; Slowing Down; Chaotic Energy; Out of Control; Bugs; (Breaking) Habits; Messy Thoughts; Strategic; “Playing it Cool”; Patrick Star?; Hares; Hates Feeling Emotions; Pink Flowers (Real or Artificial); Systems Down; Mewing (?)

Something new might have happened or you feel like this is the universe (or whoever you believe in) giving you something. This energy feels like Carl and Cindy’s interaction (from Jimmy Neutron). In this case you’re Carl and Cindy is the universe lol. Maybe you were in a rut or had a cycle of “unfortunate events” in regard to circumstances or people.

If you’re asking for clarification: You have free will — it’s up to you whether you want to continue what you’re doing or not. I’m not sensing anything “bad” or “malicious” intent in regards to what/who you’re inquiring about. There’s this sense of catastrophizing new things. There’s also this feeling of “too good to be true”. I don’t know if you said/thought/felt this: “I need a fucking break” is strongly coming in.

So now that you have this break — it’s almost like you don’t know what to do or how to proceed. It’s as if you’re holding a globe but you don’t get to actually go anywhere. Maybe at one point you did get experience with this, only to be let down? Either way having no control is what’s scaring you and causing this anxiousness (especially if this deals with a person).

What’s coming in for those who are iffy about proceeding: “let them, just let them because you are your own before and after meeting this person”. This can also deal with a situation too — as in this doesn’t define you. There is no need to punish/blame yourself for being afraid/ not taking this offer. It just means you weren’t ready and that’s okay. Go at your own pace.

For those of you who want to proceed with this situation/person then you’ll have to let down your walls bit by bit. Again it’s okay to go at your own pace or ask to slow down. The same applies: “let them”. The door is always open so let them or “let you”. You can always set it down and move to the next one. It’s okay.

Bonus Question to Ask Yourself: “What did I keep doing that keeps hurting? Why do I keep repeating this behavior?” - by WNRS

So that’s all that I’m getting for pile 1. If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate it. If this resonates let me know. I am supporting you through and through 🧡!

Pile 2

[ Cards: Three of Swords Reversed; 3 of Pentacles Reversed; 6 of Swords; 5 of Pentacles Reversed; 9 Of Swords; 3 of Wands ]

Confirmation Messages: Courage; Charli XCX (Brat album); The Sun; Music; Concerts; Celebrity; Billie Eilish; Air and Earth Placements; Careless; Responsibility; Overthinker; New Things; Success; Moving On; 55; 66; 333; 9; Truth; Waiting; Patience; Releasing Judgement; Let it flow; Getting or Wanting Numbers? Holding Back; Calculated Risks; Chappell Roan; Doechii; Temptation - Raveena; Gemini; Aries

So I’m feeling like you’re releasing this heartache (for some it could be from your past?) I don’t know why, I pulled a clarification and it’s the 10 of Cups and I heard “No that’s so scary, Boo Feelings and Happiness!” So maybe you’re afraid of things working out because you were always let down in the past.

I feel like this can be about a connection (?) — there’s a lot of air coming in which means social lives. This may have come when things just started to calm down or in the midst of healing? To be honest this pile’s energy tends to overthink a lot. Like I feel like there’s this thing where you’re scared of saying the wrong thing which makes you take a step back only to make the overthinking worse. Maybe you’re asking friends what to do because I split the deck and saw 3 of Cups.

For some reason I feel like you need more reassurance so I’ll just pull out more cards for you. So I got the 2 of cups and the Eight of Wands (reversed), Judgement, and the Emperor. The first thing I’m picking up is that: you two may have opposite personalities or are awake at different times because we have two blue cards and two gold cards.

I’m also getting that the pace is painfully slow despite things going smoothly. It’s like you want to take control but you’re aware it won’t go smoothly if you rush it. For some of you there’s this thing of being afraid to take the “lead” or being pressured by society to take the lead.

(Side note: I don’t know who needs to hear this but there’s no hierarchy in a connection. There’s no, “who wears the pants” or whatever heteronormative stuff that gets constantly pushed into connections. What makes a connection work is when both people see each other as equals and accepting of one another)

You’re going to hate me for this but…it takes time and teamwork for a connection to work out. So yeah, go at your own comfortable pace (not a pace society tells you to go by) and enjoy the present time. For some reason I really have to “hammer it in” to take your time; let this connection take its time. Let things fall into place all on its own and if you feel called to do something (meaning the timing is right) then by all means take that initiative.

When you let things slowly progress you will also get a better understanding and feel of this person, from there you can see if you want to proceed or not.

Bonus Questions to Ask Yourself: “When have I given too much of myself in a relationship (could also be platonic)? What did that look like? What lesson did that leave me with?” - WNRS

That’s really all I’m getting, to be honest this reading is so chaotic and so long even though it barely reached 5 paragraphs. If you made it this far thank you so much, I appreciate it. I’m wishing you luck and please take your time!

Pile 3

[ Cards: Queen of Pentacles; 7 of Swords; Justice; Five of Cups Reversed; 8 of Pentacles; 7 of Cups; 7 of Pentacles ]

Confirmation Messages: Horror Games; Paranormal; Libra; Yellowjackets; Birds of a Feather; Unrequited; Nevada; Winter; Baby Powder; Scents; Insincerity; Friday; Outcasts; Water(falls); Late Spring; (Couples) Therapy; 777; (Down by the Water) PJ Harvey; Library; Goth (Music); Unknown; Earth Placement; Situationship; Clear Mind; Tiredness; “Success is the Best Revenge”; Lana Del Rey; Distractions; Cheating; 1:23

You may have left a connection or felt this person was dishonest. I think what made it worse is outside advice (which is ironic because y’know we’re here lol). Perhaps someone gave you the, “time heals all wounds” or “it’s okay! Just get pretty and focus on your job!” Only to feel dread, I’m not going to lie. I don’t know if you put a limit to your sadness because there’s this sense of, “I should be over this by now.” I feel like some of you did achieve this success/glow up you wanted yet still feel grief.

Honestly, it’s okay to grieve as long as you want to. There is no time limit to feel grief and sadness. Realistically speaking, grief stays with us. Grief can come in the form of memories popping up or when you feel nostalgic — that’s a part of grief and that’s okay. All we can do is look at them and see them for who they are and what they did. (Now, I’m not excusing their actions at all!) For example; it’s one of those things where someone waits for years to get closure only to get nothing and in the end they accept they’ll never get it.

I know this may sound bitter and for some bittersweet, but let the grief flow. You’re not crying over “spilt milk”, for all we know it’s not just spilt milk! Maybe it was milk you got with your hard earned money and now you don’t have milk because you just spent the last portions of your money so you can wipe your ass! So no, it’s not just milk! (lol sorry I just hate when the 5 of cups gets that connotation — there’s always something deeper to it.)

Look, distracting yourself out of emotions via deep diving in your work isn’t always the best thing to do. Sometimes you need silence (no music or sounds!) and sit with yourself. Really sit, lay or something with yourself and be vulnerable. Sit with that feeling for just a minute (not drown in it) because it’s asking to be acknowledged. Acknowledgment is a key to acceptance and with that comes the healing.

I feel like when you do acknowledge your grief, come to terms with the situation/person for who they are it’ll make the healing process bearable. I’m not saying it’ll be easier and you’ll be happy at a flip of a coin. I’m just saying because of this acceptance you may find you’re not doing your work/hobbies/goals for the sake of revenge but because it’s for you. You’re doing these things because you love it or for your own happiness/fulfillment.

Bonus Question to Ask Yourself: “What’s my favorite song at the moment? Why do I love it so much? (Play it for yourself)”. - by WNRS

Alrighty Pile 3 that’s all I got for you, thank you so much for reading until the very end! I appreciate it. I'm giving you some peace and love 🧡.

[ehrenyu]

One day I'm going to write a fic from SQH's POV and there's gonna be a giant elephant in the room. A horror element whenever he's chatting with SY!SQQ. Something off that he just gets progressively guiltier about.

SQH's System was abundantly clear that this was his hell (it was in his notes during a major depressive episode). That he deserved to live in the world he made and suffer the consequences.

Meanwhile, Peerless Cucumber never let up while SQH was alive. Was always there for him every time he posted. Basically aired out SQH's own grievances against the state of his writing. SQH didn't jokingly ask for rich fuck Peerless Cucumber to be his patron because...

🥒-bro was a ghost account. SQH created Shen Yuan. Used his own money to buy every chapter to rip it to shreds. It was therapeutic and deranged but it generated traffic like you wouldn't believe.

SY is exactly how he was written: madly in love with LBH and repressed about it and pissed that PIDW didn't have more monster lore and less papapa scenes. LBH deserves a happy ending!! WHERE WAS IT AIRPLANE !

SQH is in hell because his best friend-anti fan-meme generator is as imaginary as everyone else in this damned world. An NPC who holds the reins of their reality and is doing a bad job at making LBH happy because 🥒-bro refuses to let himself be happy.

Ironic!! Just like his Dad!! Hahahahaha!!

Shang Qinghua is in hell but acts like nothing is wrong. He can't be OOC towards his Frenemy Bestie, his greatest black powder fan, his greatest real life con. It would break SY if he actually thought through the ramifications. Ha! Who was he kidding? 🥒-bro would probably brush it off like his 'homo? Me? Pah! No homo!' tendencies

SQH wants to lock himself in a room and sob himself hoarse but his eyes are dry and his smile remains stretched tightly over his teeth while SY rambles and complains about shit that doesn't really matter.

In this world SQH is the NPC and Cucumber-bro is the Godly Protagonist with wife beam eyes.

The translucent System-faced android next to him, scoring his every interaction and completely undetectable to anyone else, doesn't help either.

[two-white-butterflies]

you're losing me (five) | am. targaryen and j. velaryon

Description: Aemond gets sit down and added to his father's will. Viserys hires a private investigator to find out about your background. Rating: General Audiences part four

Aemond couldn't believe that he was giddy at the premise of inheriting his family's business. Fire and Blood Corporations ruled over the world - from trade to the food industry, now he was going to own 49.7% of it - all thanks to you.

"Now I understand that I was the one who started it," Viserys breathes, browsing through the dozens of folders on his desk. "- and I intend to keep my promise," the man signs a piece of paper that had their names on it.

"I will give you my company, and you'll have it after the wedding." his father smiles proudly, clicking his fountain pen. Aemond was just about to sign it, but Viserys pulls the paper back. "- you can sign this after our private investigator sends me the details about your fiancee." Viserys explained, quickly placing the contact inside his drawer. He pales slightly - they were fucked.

His father was going to find out about the debt you had with the IRS, and your father's arrest warrant with the Interpol. He was colossally fucked - and he had no plans in bringing you down with him. Aemond breathes, trying to calm himself down. "Of course, when is that?" he inquired - straightening his suit.

"Next week," Viserys replied.

Aemond felt like relapsing back into his old routine of fucking girls and drinking lots of booze. He takes a nervous bite of his mini Oreos, completely oblivious that you began to make your way beside him. "You okay, honey?" you inquire, placing a strand of his hair behind his ear. He nods his head - not giving you his full attention.

"I want to say something," you hum - pulling the jar of cookies away from his hands. He turns to look at you - eyes softening at the sight of your features. He was fucked - and he seemed okay with that, because he was with you. "What is it?" he asked, the nervousness beginning to flow away from his body.

"I like you." you confess - and that nervousness floods his system. His mind raced through a million thoughts - what did you mean by that? "In a romantic way," you add, staring at the ground. It would be embarrassing if he rejected you.

Instead of using his words - he takes your hands, pressing a kiss on the back of your palms. "And maybe we can turn this into a real thing?" you smiled - he smiles too.

"I love you."

(your first name): not the kind to post a lot, but bah whatever. these series of pics really embody the aesthetic of my new album. (that's not yet finished, i'm so sorry 😭) dress, lover and paper rings are singles - tho some of the things i released (peace and cardigan) are part of the album.

467 comments 1,238,100 likes

whiskeyonice: PEACE IS ABOUT JACK IN A BOX RIGHT?

TACO23849: watch her turn 'peace' about aemond 😎 - y/nliverspread: wait?? noo aemond cannot be?? is he?? -TACO23849: here we go again with the memes lol 💀😐

"She owes the IRS a lot of money, sir." the private investigator clears his throat - lowering the piece of paper in front of his boss. He was given a window of one week - but an hour was enough to find information about the pop-star.

"She's not paying her taxes?" Viserys raised his eyebrows.

"She doesn't have money to pay, sir." the man breathes. Anger begins flooding the patriarch's body. He wasn't going to let you marry his son. It would be shameful - it would ruin the family's reputation.

"Can you call Alicent? I need to talk to her." Viserys' lips turn into a thin line.

You were surprised when Alicent invited you for a cup of tea. Your boyfriend's mother kept to herself, only giving you small smiles and nods in the party - but now her entire atmosphere seemed to change. Alicent wasn't smiling or nodding - she was glaring at you.

"I like your ring," you compliment - settling down parallel her body. "It was a gift to me, by my husband. It used to belong to his grandmother." Alicent scowled, the waiter began to place a cup of tea in front of you. "Let me ask you (Your Name), what is your job?" she asked, placing a tart on her plate. You take a deep breath.

"I'm a singer." you answer, taking a small sip of the chamomile blend. "I was a model before I met Viserys - and I quit, because marrying into the Targaryen family is a job." she informed, gazing upon your face to measure every indent. "Pardon?" you breathe, in shock that this was happening to you.

You saw it happen in those Spanish novellas that your mother used to watch. What was going to happen next? Was she going to offer a million dollars so you'll stay away from her son?

"My husband knows that you are drowning in debt, he's not going to let the wedding pull through. If it does - Aemond is not going to inherit the company. Which I assume is the reason that you're marrying him in the first place." Alicent presses her lips into a thin line. Her heart reached out for you - but she loved her son.

Alicent reaches for her handbag, dropping a few thousand dollars to cover the bill. "Please, stay away from us." she pleaded - rising to her feet. "I'm not here for money - I thought I was. I've fallen for your son." you admit, making her freeze for a few seconds.

"- but you're his mother, and you know what's good for him. I want you to remember - when Aemond has children of his own, with a woman that you think is respectable. I want you to remember that it was because of me, and that I chose to stay away." you stand up, removing the wedding band from your fingers.

Stop you're losing me.

You're losing me.

"I don't know what you'll say to him, but I want you to know - that it wasn't hard loving your son." you smile, returning the engagement ring to her. These halls will never be the same again. Alicent's face softens. She opens her arms - welcoming you with an embrace.

"Thank you, (Your Name)" she responds bitterly.

AEMOND TARGARYEN 3:24PM Where are you?

YOU 3:25PM i'm so sorry

YOU 3:26PM they know the truth, that i'm apparently 'drowning' in debt. i don't think that we should be together anymore, and i feel really shitty for breaking up with you over text.

AEMOND TARGARYEN 3:26PM No, we're not breaking up. My mom got to you didn't she?

AEMOND TARGARYEN 3:26PM I don't give a fuck about the inheritance, I'm already rich. I just wanted to give a colossal 'fuck you' to Rhaenyra.

YOU 3:27PM it was never going to work, we're worlds apart.

You reply to him with a deep exhale. It was going to be worth it in the end, because he'd find a woman that was worth fighting for.

A beautiful fool who could hide behind his shadows and appreciate his shine - not you, not a person who had her own shimmer.

(your full name): i had a wonderful time ruining everything, thank you for having me europe 💗

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y/n's kitten: I want to thank Aemond Targaryen for giving us the best bridge in the entire universe. "Your midas touch on the chevy door, November flush and your flannel cure, this dorm was once a madhouse, I made a joke well 'it's made for me.' How evergreen are group of friends, don't think we'll say that word again. And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through. ONE FOR THE MONEY TWO FOR THE SHOW. I NEVER WAS READY SO I WATCHED YOU GO. Sometimes you just don't know the answer TILL SOMEONE'S ON THEIR KNEES AND ASKS YOU. SHE WOULD'VE MAKE SUCH A LOVELY BRIDE WHAT A SHAME SHE'S FUCKED IN THE HEAD. they said, but you'll find the real thing instead SHE'LL patch up your tapestry that I SHRED."

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sexybaby: nah I have beef with him because why is mom's comments suddenly restricted ackk ☹️ -applepie59: Her comments r restricted because americans keep asking her to tour there 💀 which she can't bcuz girl aint paying her taxes -sexybaby: bitch she isn't even in america full time why the fuck is she gonna pay for taxes? -apllypie59: Y/N's kittens stay delulu

y/nismysavior: I'm not heartbroken, also me: Y/N L/N

(your full name): Merci Paris 🥰 I will come back soon

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"How long are you going to keep attending her tour?" Aegon makes his way towards Aemond's hotel room - callously smoking a cigarette knowing that he wouldn't get into trouble because his grandfather owned the building. "As long as I want to." Aemond replied, glaring at his older brother. "Just watching her then? No talking?" Aegon insinuates - eyes narrowing.

"She seems okay." he breaths.

"Well I've been beside you during those concerts and you aren't analyzing her note changes or speeches enough." Aegon rolls his eyes - unable to admit that he was still one of the Y/N's kittens. "And you pay attention to that?" Aemond turns his head, slowly placing the duvet on top of his body. Aegon chuckles, already having a 100 paged slideshow in the back of his mind.

Aegon was able to note how your voice changed when you sang about the greatest loves of all time. How it cracked when you were singing about the snow-globe spinning round and round, and how his brother keeps a picture of you in his office downtown. "Men are so stupid," he shook his head - leaving the room and slamming the door shut.

part six

@glame @xcinnamonmalfoyx @winxchesters @yentroucnagol @hotchnerswife @mxxny-lupin @joliettes @kemillyfreitas @mxtantrights @urmomsgirlfriend1 @kravitzwhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @introverbatim @flrboyd @kemillyfreitas

[aiyexayen]

aita meme shen yuan

AITA for not telling my new siblings that I'm not their real brother?

Look. Let's get something straight. I didn't ask for this.

I (???M) was living my previous life, in my prime, on my own, just minding my own business, and out of nowhere I get zapped into this fucking fantasy world. I wake up in a body that isn't mine, surrounded by strangers I've never met, with a computer voice in my head telling me how to act or else it will KILL me (again, I guess). Not hyperbole.

I figured it out, though. Who I am now, what I'm supposed to do to appease that damn computer system. Some of the characters--people, were pretty suspicious at first, and I had too many close calls for comfort, but it turns out I'm really good at posing, probably because the guy I'm posing as was the biggest poser around to begin with. Hah!

Now I'm practically immortal (not that I'm complaining about that) and I've got a mountain full of students to teach (that part's fine, too, I guess; they're good kids) and eleven other sibling-teachers bound together by sacred vows on adjacent mountain peaks at their own schools. Eleven. And none of them know that their real brother is dead.

It's not like I killed him myself! I don't know what happened to him at all! I just got stuck into his body! And he's the one who should feel bad, anyway--he was basically a villain! Scum of the earth! I had so much work to clean up after him and all the shitty things he did in his life just to make this place livable!! Fuck!!!

I'm a way better teacher than him and I'm not even qualified! I don't even like kids, either. I'm just not a complete monster. Nobody could be as bad as him.

Besides, he was a jerk to all of his siblings. None of them even liked him! Well, except for my oldest brother. I mean his oldest brother. He's way too nice and forgiving. WAY too nice. As in, I think he'd even forgive me for replacing his darling little brother and not telling him, if I confessed. Which I don't want to do! Why would I? I have everything I could want here to just quietly live and enjoy my life. Doting students and good food and cool abilities that came with the body. All the books I could read, all the music I could play. I get along so well with these brothers and sisters. And I'm so much better to them, too--like anyone would be. It's not like they'd want the scum brother back even if they knew I was an impostor this whole time. Probably.

There's no reason for me to feel guilty for not telling any of them! It's unscientific! I'm absolutely not the asshole here!

Right?