#/birth and expecting babies can be a stressful time depending on the situation

[strawberryqueen00]

Okay I think we are criminally neglecting how a few days ago on November 21st Trisha Paytas officially announced her second baby’s birth Henry Kissinger died. Not entirely the same but similar enough to the Queen Elizabeth situation to be fun/a coincidence.

There is some connection around Trisha Paytas pregnancy and famous deaths of horrible people.

[prismaticfaery]

Little Bunny

John Price x Fem!Reader

Summary: Never in a million years would Captain Price think that he'd have a chance at a family, but with how dangerous his profession was and his chances of becoming a father becoming a reality, you and him have to learn the hard way that moving on is the best you both can do.

**TW: Pregnancy, vomiting, swearing, mentions of sex, alcohol, labor, childbirth, anxiety, panic, angst, unrequited love. (Forgive me if I miss any!)

Rating: Mature

This is not short, it's 10K words! Also, don't expect too much of a happy ending!

Part Two

A/N: I was debating posting this for so long out of fear it was trash, please be gentle with me! To add, termination is always going to be your choice and it’s okay to consider that option!

Fluorescent lights hung overhead, your eyes poorly adjusting to the harsh lights as you fumbled with a pen nervously between your fingers. You had filled out a small packet of papers on a clipboard, the receptionist telling you that your doctor would see you soon and to make sure every bit of information was filled in. When you had initially told the receptionist that it would only be you when she asked if you were accompanied by a partner for a confirmation of pregnancy ultrasound, she gave you a look, and you knew she was silently judging you for your situation. 

“Y/N?” You hear a nurse call out while propping a door open, breaking you out of your trance.

It was two weeks ago when you had realized your period was late, your work schedule and general hecticness in your life made you suspect that it was stress at first but when your period never showed even a week later, and with having a pretty normal cycle, you darted to the commissary on base and bought two boxes of pregnancy tests– two different brands to make sure. Yeah, you had been more tired lately, and you had lost your appetite more than a few times, but you knew that those could also be normal premenstrual symptoms. 

With your uniform pants and panties down to your ankles, you held two different pregnancy test in your hands, the trembling in your arms and hands from fear only became worse when the test slowly turned positive. With a harsh breath in, you hold it for a moment, fresh tears stinging your eyes when you finally release your breath. Your body felt frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. Do you tell him now? Do you wait? You were on birth control and never missed a dose, but of course, it’s not always foolproof. You weren’t even with the baby’s father on an exclusivity level, only really depending on each other for comfort and pleasure when you both needed it– not to mention he was your Captain, your superior. 

A hiccup leaves your throat, the metaphorical golf ball stuck in your throat nearly choking you as you place your head in your hands, those fresh tears gathering in the corners falling into your hands. You were active duty in the SAS and newly recruited into Task Force 141, though just a Sergeant, and you were living in the barracks, which was not the place to bring a baby up in, nor was it even allowed. You weren’t prepared for a baby to come along, and you knew that your Captain had no intention of having children while he always had a target on himself. You knew he wouldn’t take this news well. 

“It looks like you’re reaching nine weeks, strong heartbeat at 168 bpm– see it here?” the doctor pointed to the tiny fluttering heart on the ultrasound monitor. 

“I do,” you smile lightly, your eyes never leaving the small floating jelly bean that jerked and wiggled inside of your body. 

“Do you have support at home?” The doctor asked, her eyes meeting yours with a certain softness, knowing that you checked your marital status as “single”.

“Well I have my mother, but as for the other half of the child, he won’t be very happy,” you say, sitting up and adjusting the paper blanket draped across your nude bottom half. 

“Reach out to your mother, okay? Best of luck with everything,” the doctor takes her leave, giving you the privacy to clean up and put your uniform back on. 

You sat for a moment, the silence deafening save for the nurses speaking at their station outside the exam room door. You peek over at the ultrasound monitor, which had been paused on a picture of your tiny baby. Your heart ached, and you found yourself struggling to turn your head away, until a knock at the door sounded. 

“Here are your papers, there’s also a script for prenatal vitamins and some brochures,” the nurse smiles, handing you the small stack, “take care of yourself.”

The door closes behind the nurse and you decide that it’s time to finally get dressed. You wipe the ultrasound gel from your abdomen and lower region, and silently slip your clothing back on, your eyes never leaving the monitor until you notice a small black and white photo had been printed and attached to your after appointment papers. Your heart skipped, quickly tearing the photo from off of the stack to hold in your hands, your little baby’s side profile had been captured and you could see the tiny arms and legs scrunched up to its body. 

Checking the time on your watch, you pick up speed, remembering that you had a debriefing on a Task Force affair with your Captain soon and you were definitely going to be late arriving at it. You knew he wouldn’t be happy with your lack of punctuality, but you had proof that you were tied up in a last minute affair. 

Once arriving back at base, you could see the familiar form of Soap who was also a late arrival to the debriefing, but you knew it was because of his poor time management skills, or he was just waking up from one of his naps. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he spins around in a wild fashion. 

“Good grief, ya scared the shite out of me,” Soap held a hand to his chest. 

“Sorry, I was just curious if we could walk together to the debrief,” you question, your eyes pleading for him to agree as to save yourself from being individually called out by your Captain. 

Soap nods, his longer legs falling into step with yours, “you’re not usually late to these things, something must have had you tied up,” Soap scratches his head, yawning into his unoccupied hand.

“Oh you know, women’s issues,” you shrugged, Soap wincing at your words. 

“Ah, I don’t think you need to explain,” he chuckles, knowing damn well that he was treading into territory he was very familiar with, having to be around female soldiers– especially with being around you so much– taught him more than enough. 

Opening the door to the small debriefing room, you could see Ghost leaning back in his chair, one leg over the other while his arms crossed against his chest, his usual black balaclava covering his face. Gaz was in the seat adjacent to Ghost, his face blank– an almost bored expression showing. 

Price’s body language was showing very clear annoyance as he watched you and Soap enter, the awkwardness in the room causing you to fumble into your seat, the loud scraping of the chair leg against the tile floor made Price audibly sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“You two are late, don���t let this happen again or I’ll have you assigned cleaning duty for a week,” Price points his finger first at Soap, then at you, your eyes casting downwards in embarrassment. 

As the debriefing went on, you could feel the familiar crystalline blue eyes of your Captain steal glances of you. You make yourself small and scarce in the meeting, your arms folding across your upper body and your body slinking into your chair. You felt strange about having such a huge secret being hidden away from your Captain who was more than deserving to know about it, but you needed time to formulate a plan on how you were going to carry out telling him. It would be better to tell him sooner than later though because you could be deployed at any time and that would be a dangerous situation for you and the life that was growing inside of you. 

“Ghost, you and Gaz will be going to Russia for some recon, I need intel– any intel on where they’re moving next,” Price nods his head in Ghost’s direction, handing Gaz a debriefing packet on his and Ghost’s deployment that they’ll go over together at a later time. 

You feel your body tense as a very heavy wave of nausea washes over you, Soap noticing your eyes fluttering and your skin becoming ashen and shiny from sweat. Pushing his seat out with the back of his legs, Soap rushes over to the trash bin, knowing all too well you wouldn’t make it yourself. He shoves the bin into your lap where you attempt to shield yourself with your arms as you empty the contents of your stomach. Gaz winces, and Ghost is pretty much unbothered but keeping a watchful eye on you. 

“You alright?” Price askes as he makes his way over to your hunched over form. 

“No, I really need to go,” you heave a sigh, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Leave that, I’ll have someone clean it,” Price nods, motioning for you to leave. 

Long having discarded your uniform, you sat on your bed, staring at the white wall across the room. So many thoughts flooded your brain, and you felt like you were losing control of everything in your life all in the span of a few hours. You were young, and still inexperienced in life, halfway to reaching your thirties. The dried yet still sticky feeling of tears coated your cheeks and you felt like your heart would leap out of your chest every time you even thought of mentioning this pregnancy to Price. How the hell was he going to take it?

You knew that it would go two ways most likely– one: he’d walk away and break all contact, or two: he would tell you that he would support you and the baby, but would not be present.

A knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts, your voice cracking as you told the visitor to come inside. Price’s tall body stands in the doorway for a second before stepping inside and closing the door behind him softly. He knew it was risky coming into your room so early in the evening but he was willing to take that chance. 

“Everything alright? Soap said you were dealing with something– didn’t know the pain got so bad for you during that time of the month,” Price sits beside you on your bed, his taller form making yours tiny in comparison. 

“I’m alright, I just need to rest,” your voice is small with a tinge of exhaustion, playing into Soap’s assumptions of you being on your period. 

“You been crying, love?” Price’s large hand caresses your neck, his thumb dancing across your cheek soothingly.

“A little, yeah,” you smile softly, leaning into his touch. 

“You want to tell me about it?”

“Not really, if that’s okay?” Your breath catches in your throat, you knew damn well you should tell him, but fear froze you in place. 

“I understand, hormones and all that lot can be difficult,” Price sighs, the hand that rested on your neck falling back into his lap. 

You suck in a breath as his words repeat in your head. Did he already know? Or did he have an inkling of an idea? No, that wasn’t possible. 

You feel the familiar burn of bile rising into your throat, your legs making a mad dash for the bathroom across your small barracks room. Heaving what little was left in your stomach, you could feel your Captain’s cool hands gather your loose hair from your sweat covered neck and forehead. As you breath in and out heavily, a soft cry escaping your lips from the horrifying nausea pounding through your body, you feel Price’s free hand rub soothing circles along your back. 

“You’re alright, sweet girl, let it out,” the deep gravel in his voice was soothing. 

You gag and heave one last time before you begin to feel like the nausea is subsiding, Price’s arm reaching over to flush the toilet and then bring your body back to lay against him as he leaned back against the tub. Your shorter legs are pulled up to your chest as his thick arms engulf you. 

“I’m pregnant,” a sob escapes your throat, a trembling hand brought up to your now teary eyes, wiping away any stray tears that escape. 

Everything goes silent around the two of you, and you could tell John was formulating his response and keeping himself from reacting in a way he would regret. His arms go slack around you and you begin sobbing even harder at his action. 

“Did you not take your pills?” Was all he could muster asking. 

“I did, I did-!” you cry, turning your body to face him now. 

“Y/N, you know what this could do to us– to me, right?” Price’s voice was dangerously low now, a look of pure anger painted on his face. 

You knew all too well what this situation could do to you both. Demotion, dishonorable discharge, enemies who had a target on both of you– but more specifically him, would know that there is something precious and innocent that could be easily taken away. 

Price goes quiet, his eyes downcast as he thinks to himself for a moment, “I think you should consider your options.”

“So that’s it? You’re putting all of this on me?” your heart begins to sink into your stomach, knowing damn well that this was his way of telling you that he wanted to cut all contact and act like this situation never happened. 

“What will you have me do, Y/N, hm?” He points a finger at himself, the tip poking into his hardened chest. 

“At least consider options with me– it takes two-!”

“No, Y/N. No,” Price rises to his feet, leaving you in a puddle of anxiousness on the bathroom floor, your eyes frantically watching his hand swing the bathroom door open. 

“Please don’t–,” you reach an arm out to him, but he’s gone so quickly from your sight. 

You find out the next day that you were pardoned from work, formation, and PT for a full month, knowing that Price did this to allow you time to think about what to do with the pregnancy. You hardly left your room, and when you did, it was usually just to eat and do laundry. Soap tried to stop you a few times to catch up and ask how you were doing, but you instead offered a smile and a quick, “I’ve gotta go,”. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried out of his mind for you, sad eyes watching you disappear down the hallways. He was often your partner in missions and would offer a helping hand if and when you needed it. Maybe he just needed to wait for you to come to him? He would always wait for you. 

You stared at your discharge papers for days, the blanks filled out neatly, and the pen you used sat atop the thin packet. You were sure that this is what you wanted, and this would save John from the possibility of having everything he worked so hard for to be snatched away. No one would know he was the father of the baby, and you weren’t going to make him be something he didn’t want to be. You wouldn’t inform him of the gender, due date, name– anything, if he didn’t want to know, in which you knew he wouldn’t. 

You wanted to make this as easy as possible– slowly cutting off your military life, and going back home to make a new life for yourself and for your baby. Your mother was in agreement, telling you to come home and to get yourself back on your feet, that she’d be happy to watch over the baby while you worked. You would have your childhood room back and your mother’s cooking, and that was enough to put a smile on your face even for just a moment through the rough patch. She knew that having support was the most important thing for you. 

You gather the papers in your hands, tapping them on the counter to even them out. Taking a moment to think one last time if this was truly what you wanted, you let out a shaky breath, leaving your room and making your way to John’s office, your fingers grasping the papers tight enough to wrinkle them. 

You knock three times on Price’s door, waiting for him to call out an answer for you to enter, “come in,” you finally hear him say. 

He straightens in his desk chair, the air in the room becoming thick and tense. He looks to be stressed out, his hand soon covering his forehead as he attempts to relax. You sit in one of the two chairs across from his desk, sliding your filled out discharge paperwork over to him. Price’s vascular arm reaches over to grab the papers, keeping his eyes on you the whole time. At first, he thinks that these are adoption papers for the baby, in which he would sign the parts that said “father’s information”, but he soon realizes that’s not what he was given. 

“You’re leaving the military?” his eyes darted up to look at you. 

“I won’t make this difficult. You don’t need to know a thing if you don’t want to, you won’t need to be present, just sign those papers and we’re gone.” 

“The Task Force needs you,” Price’s voice falters, his usual soft tone you were so used to is back. 

“I want to raise this baby, John– our baby,” you feel yourself spiraling, your hormones making it difficult to keep your composure. 

You could see his eyes flutter closed, his body shaking as he releases a large huff from his lungs, “you’ll be discharged immediately. I don’t want to see a trace of you left in that room.”

“Yes, sir.”

You had very little to pack up in your room, your mother having come from London to help you carry anything heavy. Soap had stopped by your room after hearing the news that you were being discharged. His thoughts soared wildly as he watched your mother pack away your things as you carried out items to her car, thinking of how sick you must have been to have to leave the military immediately. You must have been in need of serious medical treatment to just drop everything and leave. His form standing outside your door caught your mother’s attention, making his entire body tense. Turning on his heel, he prayed to whatever or whomever that your mother hadn’t seen the stray tear fall down his cheek. 

Your civilian clothing felt a little tight around your lower abdominal area, your belly poking out slightly, bloating from the pregnancy hormones and constipation since the baby was still very tiny to make an appearance quite yet. You were half tempted to keep your jeans unbuttoned but with it being so hot out, your shirt was cropped right above your belly button. You had to keep cool somehow and you weren’t sacrificing your style for your growing belly. You and your belly bump can be stylish together. 

“Is this the last of it, darling?” Your mother questions, placing the last box in the trunk of her sedan. 

“Yes,” you answer, looking around one last time before opening the passenger door of the car and slipping inside. 

Your eyes caught a glance of Price, who was outside on the training field with a group of soldiers. He was looking right at you, and it sent a flood of different emotions to wash over you. Tears stung your eyes, your throat swelling as you tried your best to keep yourself from falling apart. You were prepared to do this whole parenthood thing alone, but you were hoping that you would at least have him present for the sake of the child– not even for the sake of you because you weren’t what mattered in this situation. 

You had fallen madly for him but your job had made it very apparent that feelings for your superior could be a whirlwind of repercussions to pay. You had to play it safe in the shadows. John would have been a liar if he said he hadn’t also felt the same feelings as you, but kept it no more than a hook-up every once in a while. This was the most difficult decision you could ever make– deciding to walk away. 

It had taken you weeks to acclimate to civilian life after being in the military for so long. You were freshly 18 and had just graduated secondary school when you joined the Royal Army, just entering your mid 20’s when you passed selection for the SAS, Price was the first to congratulate you, shaking your hand and offering you a warm smile, the creases in the corners of his eyes sending you into a tizzy– goodness he was so handsome. His face was shaved then however. You loved his chops when he started growing them out, your eyes catching his own as he carefully combed through the thick auburn beard hairs with a sandalwood comb in the middle of his debriefings. 

You sat at the dining room table of your childhood home, scanning over the words on your laptop screen. You had gotten a new job and you were going to start working remotely from the house, which was perfect because of the baby coming around February. You had since gotten into a new doctor’s office, your mother accompanying you for support. Her face lit up when she saw the baby floating around on the screen, their little arms covering the front of their face. You had cried more than you liked and your nausea had increased dramatically once leaving the base. You thought it may have been from the stress of leaving your old life behind intermingling with the pregnancy hormones. 

Your mother was a huge support, telling you that you could take time to yourself before you found a civilian job. You waved her off however, saying that she had no business having to pick up the slack for her adult child. She had already taken to knitting small items for the baby, and your favorite was the small floppy bunny beanie that was a light cream color, the inside of the ears a dusty pink. 

“Have any of your military friends contacted you since leaving?” Your mother asks, peeking up from the cream colored blanket she had started days previous. 

“Soap has, but he ended up being deployed before I could answer. He probably thinks I’m dying with having left so suddenly when I was experiencing morning sickness during debrief,” the sigh that left your lips was a sad one, as Soap was someone you had grown quite close to over the years of being in the same barracks and then being on the Task Force together for a short period of time. 

“Well hopefully you can remain friends,” the nimble fingers of your mother placed a stitch marker into the blanket. 

“One can hope,” you lie. 

You were entering your 20th week of pregnancy– halfway to the finish line is what your mother said to you that morning. Her excitement was easy to spot as today was the day you would find the gender of the baby out. Your belly had grown some, but not enough for it to be immediately recognized as a baby bump. Maybe you just ate an entire pizza? 

Drinking the last bit of orange juice, to which your mother swore would make the baby more lively in your belly during the ultrasound, you look over the texts in your phone, Soap’s name popping up suddenly. It catches you off guard when you open the text, seeing a picture of Ghost and Price out on the firing range, Price’s hat sitting on top of Ghost’s head as he lay prone on the ground with a sniper rifle. Price had his arms crossed and was seeming to refuse being in the photo, his hand covering his face. Soap hadn’t sent so much as a “hi” in weeks, and you had hoped that he just moved on from the thought of you staying in touch with your old roots. Closing out of the text app, you place your phone face down on the kitchen counter, your heart dropping. You just won’t reply, just like you had been doing before. 

Patiently waiting in the exam room at the midwife’s office, you placed a hand on your belly, hoping that soon you would finally be able to feel movement. Your midwife said it’s normal to not have movements until now or even a little later but you were so impatient. Once entering the room, the midwife went over her routine questions, and took your blood pressure. 

“Your blood pressure is a bit elevated, are you getting enough water and rest?” The midwife asks, placing herself on the stool next to the ultrasound machine. 

“Mum wouldn’t let me live it down if I weren’t,” you answer. 

“I believe it,” the midwife chuckles, looking over at your mother who had taken a seat next to you on the exam table, “I would like for you to continue what you’re doing, and if you’re feeling any strange symptoms like dizziness, faintness, seeing stars in your vision, or pains in your chest or ribs, go to the hospital immediately.”

You nod your head, and the midwife starts setting your ultrasound up, helping you lie back on the bed as soon as she’s done. Unbuttoning your jeans, she places a flannel over the top of your jeans to keep the gel from staining them. The lights are then turned off and you begin to relax and clear your mind, ready to see your baby after weeks of waiting. Squeezing a large amount of gel onto your abdomen, the midwife places the transducer of the ultrasound machine onto the mound of gel, rubbing it around to find where the baby is positioned. 

“Look at those little puckered lips,” the midwife smiles down at you.

“Oh darling, look at that sweet baby,” your mom was in tears, her emotions always outmatched yours. 

As the midwife continues looking at the baby through the monitor, she takes her time going through all of the anatomy of the baby, noting it on the keys of the machine. Your hand was being squeezed so hard by your mother, you thought that your circulation might be cut off after so long. The tiny fingers of the baby were by their mouth, their legs stretching out and scrunching back up. 

“What were your bets on the gender, mum?” the midwife asks your mother, the two smiling at each other. 

“That’s a little girl in there.”

“Mum is correct,” the midwife points her finger to the wiggling baby, a clear picture of the baby’s gender boldly displayed. 

You’re going to have a little girl, Captain. 

Squealing with delight with fresh tears coating her cheeks, your mother squeezed your arm and kissed your cheek, “I’m so proud of you. I’m a grandma to a baby girl.”

While there was downtime, Price often grabbed drinks with the Task Force, his usual military uniform shed and his dog tags resting on his bedside table. The black jumper he wore had gotten a little loose, his appetite scarcely there since you told him about your pregnancy. His anxiety made his mind wander more than he liked. How were you doing? Was your belly finally popping out? Did you start purchasing baby items? He would always ground himself after some time, his internal voice telling him that this was for the safety of himself, and the safety of you and the baby. His baby. But not his baby at the same time, he made that clear with you all those weeks ago. 

Clutching a rocks glass in his hands at the bar, Price took a quick swig of the amber liquid as Soap sat to his right, scrolling through his social media timeline. Ghost was at the pool table across the bar, talking with Gaz, who had just taken a shot at a cue ball. It had been raining for days straight, the cool air flowing into the bar with each time the door opened. Were you also experiencing this weather? Or had you gone countries away to escape staying in the same country as your former friend with benefits with whom you now had forever ties with? 

“You know, Y/N’s social media was deactivated and she never answers my texts. I wonder if she’s okay?” Soap mumbled, unable to put his mind at ease as to where you went or what happened to you. 

“She was honorably discharged from the special forces, she’s probably cutting ties with her old life as much as possible,” Price’s voice was grim, however Soap didn’t quite catch on. 

“That’s not like her though– she used to post everyday–!” Soap gestured his hand to his phone, his social media app still open. 

“I think it’s best to allow her to move on,” Price slammed the rest of his whiskey, placing the glass back down on the bar with a loud clunk, “she’s been shot, wounded, seen death, caused death, stayed in hospital for weeks altogether in her career– she deserves peace.”

“She was ill, Captain,” those baby blue eyes of Soap’s were now filled with worry. 

“You said it yourself: she was experiencing her time of the month.”

“You’ve turned cold recently Captain–.”

“Move on, Soap. That’s the best you can do, for her sake and yours.”

Soap’s emotions were crushed, his heart sinking to the very bottom of his belly. Price knew Soap always cared too much, and that’s what set him apart from many people who had grown a bit cold and cynical while in the SAS– like Ghost for example. It was time for everyone to move on, it had been many weeks since your departure, and the only one who seemed to hold on the most was Soap… at times. Price struggled too but he was a Captain, he needed to be a leader and offer guidance to his soldiers, even if it wasn’t what they wanted to hear, but needed to hear. 

Holding his glass up to signal the barkeep for another pour, Price sighs, watching Soap scroll some more on his social media timeline, hitting the search bar and typing in anything and everything he could think of just to find you. He then sees him type in your mother’s name, his body language picking up in relief when a profile popped up, he just hoped your mother’s timeline wasn’t completely private. 

“Shite,” Soap mutters, disbelief flooding his tone, “she’s fuckin’ pregnant?” 

The Captain’s heart might as well have stopped beating right then and there when he heard Soap. Looking over at Soap’s phone, Soap adjusted the phone to show Price the screen, a post from two weeks ago exclaiming that you had just found out about the gender, a picture of you attached with a pink cupcake in your hand. 

“It’s a girl,” Price stared at the photo of you for way too long, his eyes softening when he saw that pregnancy glow, your cheeks becoming more filled out, and the swell in your lower belly being caressed by your hand. 

“Lucky lad, the father is,” Soap locked his phone, placing it face down on the bar, soon cradling his head in his hands. Soap is now trembling, a relieved yet saddened sigh leaving his mouth. 

Yeah, a lucky lad he would have been in a different world. 

Lying in the bath, the bubbles that had been added to the water thick and covering most of your body, your hands rested on your belly, rubbing the soft and stretched skin gently. Twenty two weeks along and you still hadn’t felt movements, and it was starting to worry you. Most people felt movement already. Sinking lower into the warm bath water, you feel the tension in your shoulders release after having worked all day. Come to think of it, your desk was still in a disarray with papers and pens and you had no energy to clean it up at the moment. 

Stilling yourself in the water and staring ahead at the faucet, you notice your stomach twitch, thinking that at first it was just a reflex, until it happened a few more times. You place the tips of your fingers where the twitches were happening, flinching when you could feel little taps. 

“Is that you in there, trying for your mummy’s attention?” You whisper, and another tap could be felt. 

Tears escape your eyes, quickly rolling down your cheeks when you think about how John is missing out on these moments. He would never be able to feel his little girl’s first movements. You wanted to imagine him being right there after you called out his name, his large hand reaching down into the tub, brushing softly against your swollen belly. He would wait patiently, at first discouraged that he missed those little kicks. Until finally, those little taps started up again, his baby blue eyes lighting up as he felt the tiniest movements against his palm. 

Wiping your tears away with the butts of your palms, you let out a shaky breath, attempting to ground yourself as much as you can in this moment, knowing that tears and sadness were not going to help get yourself through this. But it did feel good to cleanse your soul with a few tears after they built up for so long. 

When John had gotten to his room back at the barracks after downing three glasses of whiskey, he could feel his body give out from under him as soon as he shut the door behind him. His back slides down the door, his bottom meeting the cold tile, hands cradling his face as he chewed his bottom lip raw, the dull sting of the open wound radiating on his mouth. Hot torrents of anxiety begin to course through his body, tears stinging his eyes as he feels like he might crawl out of his skin. Clawing at his jumper collar, he feels like he’s suffocating, his breaths uneven and raspy. 

He missed you– missed those nights where he crawled into bed with you, your limbs entwining in a warm and comforting embrace after a hard day of work. His hands would search for the feeling of your soft skin in the darkness, only to feel an empty coldness on the sheets where your body should have been. You weren’t even his and vice versa but his attachment to you was obviously present from the beginning. His eyes always sought you out in the room, always scanning the battlefields to make sure you were safe. He should have pulled out all those times, knowing damn well that no birth control was 100% effective, other than abstinence or sterilization. He had gotten too comfortable with you, too lost in the warmth, the comfort you brought him. The smiles and the joking, the playful smacks you would give him, the wrestling and tickling matches that very often turned into that hot and heavy sex that left you both breathless and in a heavy daze. 

John knew he needed to move on, and to allow you the opportunity to live a happy and safe life with the baby, away from the military, the SAS, and the Task Force, but he was stuck on the idea that things could have been so different. If his duties weren’t so important– ridding the world of everything ugly and scary, meaning that his daughter wouldn’t have to one day live in fear, he would do it a million times over. No matter how much it hurt– no, how much it killed him, or how difficult it was to go day after day not knowing who or what she might be when she finally came into the world. How he’d never be able to see you become the mother you talked about being one day, holding a brand new baby while coming down off of the adrenaline, sweat still clinging to your forehead and cheeks. How he wanted so badly to witness that ecstatic yet exhausted “I did it,” come from your mouth, your tired eyes peering up at him. Being your support system while you struggled to nurse, changing the baby’s first nappy, letting you rest while he gently rocked and soothed the fragile bundle, whispering how much he loved her already. 

“Fuck–!” Price shouted, throwing his car keys across the room. 

At 32 weeks, your baby shower took place, friends that had kept in contact with you over the years came, as well as family members that you hadn’t seen in some time. You were in a comfortable maxi dress as your belly had gotten too big and it felt like the skin on your belly was always itchy so the soft fabric of the dress played a part in keeping that feeling away. There was a mountain of gifts that sat around the recliner in the den and you were overwhelmed with how much people cared to spoil the baby this much. 

As you sit in the recliner unwrapping the gifts, you smile for the pictures your mom begged to take so she could show you off, holding up each and every item you received. Blankets, nappies, outfits, baby gear, necessities, and even postpartum kits sat in a corner neatly. You were crying, feeling so undeserving of the kindness, but as your family and friends saw you, they all offered their comfort in the form of words of affirmation and bone crushing hugs. That you were loved and supported in this particularly difficult and confusing time. Your friends and family would have loved John. 

Your mother brings in another gift out of nowhere, her arms barely able to wrap around it, let alone carrying it over to you. Confused, you make her drop it, your body lifting from the recliner to help her set it down, her hand waving you off to not help her with something so heavy in your condition. She gives you a look and shrugs, saying there was no name on the gift. Tearing the wrapping paper off, you see a beautiful bassinet pictured on the large box. No one had fessed up to getting the gift for you, so you sat confused for longer than you would have liked as everyone else mingled. 

It had taken days for Price to figure out what he wanted to do for your upcoming baby shower. Your mother had posted an event, not realizing it was a public post, and fortunately for John, he knew your address from your paperwork and files. He found the sweetest bassinet, a cream color with a lacey pink border. It had a little storage area at the bottom so that you could keep any baby items at arm’s reach. Once he had put his payment and your address in, he hit the confirm button. He just hoped it would arrive on time. 

Sitting back in his desk chair, he listened to the busy hallways in which soldiers congregated and conversed while on their down time. His mind wandered to the most recent pictures your mother had posted, and your belly had grown bigger and you smiled so large. He imagined lying in bed, shirt removed, sweatpants on, your warm body next to his in a night dress that had become too short on you with your bump, his hand caressing the bottom of your abdomen, whispering sweet words. You were pressing your lips to his own, lingering for a moment and breathing in each other’s breath. 

“God, I hope you’re doing alright,” Price’s voice came out in a near whisper. 

Work has become a distraction of sorts, the meeting on your screen with several of your coworkers becoming something like a white noise as your mind wanders, your pen hanging loosely between your fingers as you stare into the void. A plate of biscuits and a cup of tea had been placed on your desk almost an hour ago by your mother, but they hadn’t been so much as even touched. You had a pretty significant headache that had gnawed away at the back of your head for the past few days that not even a paracetamol here and there helped. Thinking that the hormones had everything to do with it, you brushed it off without a second thought. 

“Y/N, what do you think about this?” Your coworker asks, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“I think it’s a great idea,” you answer, nodding and smiling into your webcam. 

Catching the fully set up bassinet that had been put in the other corner of the room in your video feed, you smile, placing your hands on your now nearly full term belly– 36 weeks to be exact. Your coworkers dismissed the meeting after agreeing to start the new project that had been outlined for a few weeks now, the small details and start date finally figured out. 

You stand from your desk chair, a hand placed on the underside of your belly to keep your center of gravity balanced and to keep your pelvis from hurting from the weight of your belly. The dress you wore swayed as you waddled over to the corner of the room where all of the baby’s things had been set up. Grunting as your knees bend to the floor, you drag the hospital bag you had been slowly putting together over the past few days. There were folded onesies, and knitted cardigans that you still had yet to pack away, as well as a small bag of toiletries. John would have chewed you out for being so carefree on such important things such as the hospital bags. He would have had his bag packed for weeks and sitting at the front door. 

Wincing from a twinge of pain in your chest, you stop what you’re doing for a moment to wait for it to subside. It could have been a trapped gas bubble– pregnancy and all of its little quirks. When the pain doesn't subside, you attempt to get onto your feet, but cry out when the pain worsens. 

“Mum–!” You cry out, bracing your hand on the bassinet and clutching your chest. 

Hearing your mother stomp up the stairs quickly, she barges into the room, rushing to your side and helping you up, “what happened, sweetheart?” she questions, eyes wide. 

“I’m having really bad pains in my chest,” you begin to cry, hot tears pooling in your eyes, scared out of your mind for the baby. 

After little to no convincing, your mother packed you and the bags into the car. It felt like the longest drive to the hospital ever, the diaper bag sitting in your lap and your own hospital bag at your feet, the baby kicking the wind out of your lungs, so you thought that she was hopefully doing just fine with all of her movements. There was a fresh sheet of snow on the ground and icicles formed on the trees, the freezing January air nipping at your skin. 

A nurse brought your mother and yourself over to triage, hooking you up to a non-stress test, the nodes placed cozily around your stomach, and wrapping a blood pressure cuff around your upper arm that was inflating and squeezing the life out of you. You knew that 140/90 was not where a pregnant person’s blood pressure should be, and you were certain the nurse was going to have you pee in a cup to check for proteins. 

Sure enough, you had to pee in a cup, handing it over to the nurse when you were finished and it was a hard enough feat to reach under your belly. Thankfully though, the non-stress test wasn’t alarming, the baby’s heart rate staying in a normal range even with the issues you were facing. 

“I think it’s safe to induce you right now, I’m not liking the looks of your blood pressure and labs,” the midwife sits in a stool across from your bed. 

Everything started off manageable– the pains, you were able to breathe through. Your mother stood by your side the whole time, clutching your hand when you needed it. You sat cross-legged in a hospital gown, the bed placed at the highest position, and an IV placed in the crease of your elbow. It was five hours later when the pitocin had started causing the most excruciating pains you had ever felt, and you had been shot many times in the SAS. 

Crying out and grasping the handles of the bed, your breathing became ragged and your mouth dried out and you were so happy when your mother applied lip balm to your mouth to keep them from cracking. Each time your progress was checked, the pain worsened, the labor pains feeling like a searing hot knife was dragging across your lower abdomen. You wanted so badly for John to be here, sitting across from you on the bed, letting your arms wrap around his shoulders while you groaned through your pains, but it was your mother who stood in his place, her tender touches breaking you out of your swimming mind. 

Hours later, your water had broken on its own, and now you were in the home stretch and the anxiousness began to flow throughout your body, knowing that your little girl was to make an appearance by the beginning of the next day. 

John’s body was wired, sleep not taking him this evening, his hand resting on his bare stomach as he splayed out on his bed, the blanket barely covering his waist. He scrolled mindlessly for hours on his phone when he finally decided to browse your mother’s social media, hoping that she had updated with anything that had to do with you. He shot up from his pillow when he saw a photo of you sitting up in a hospital bed, and IV and wires hooked up all over your body. 

“Posted three hours ago,” he mutters to himself, tapping your photo and zooming in on your face– you looked so angelic. 

His baby would be here so soon and it made his heart skip beats, anxiety flowing through his veins. He could be there right now in place of your mother, whispering sweet words of encouragement in your ear, rocking with you and helping you breathe through the pain. Even when on the battlefield while injured, he knew you were terrible at controlling your breathing, often passing out and waking back up with him chewing your head off. 

“Make sure to breathe, sweet girl, you’ve got this,” he spoke almost silently– a whisper off his lips. 

Lying back down, he knew immediately that he was not going to sleep until he knew you had delivered safely and that the baby was okay. Knowing how much your mother posted updates about you, it was surefire that she’d post a picture of that sweet baby as soon as she arrived. What were you going to name her? Would you give her your surname? Of course you would, he doesn’t have that badge of honor– of his kid taking his name, when he wasn’t present. What would his daughter look like? Hopefully like you because you were the most beautiful creature on God’s green Earth. 

The smallest hand was wrapped around your finger, swaddled in the cream colored blanket your mother knitted just for her. The baby came out kicking and screaming after almost two hours of pushing. You cried out for John, wanting him by your side more than anything. To hold your hand, to kiss you so deeply when the baby came and was placed on your chest. Your mother knew how much you missed John, your forlorn looks never fooling her, and so she felt great sympathy hearing you scream out for your past lover. 

“Look at you, Bunny,” you whisper, stroking the soft cheek of your little girl ever-so-softly. 

“Oh, you did such a good job, my love,” a kiss was placed on your cheek by your mother, her hand resting on the back of the baby’s bunny hat covered head. 

You would go through the pain of carrying her and bringing her forth a million times over, your heart swelling so much it might have exploded when your eyes caught the looks of her face. She was so perfect, so tiny. The moment she was placed on your chest, her eyes peered right into yours– those same crystal blue eyes she shared with her father. 

It was late morning the next day. John hadn’t slept a wink, his eyes heavy and Soap was late to debriefing– like that was a new thing though. He decided to sit at the table instead of the podium at the front of the room where the projector screen hung behind it, too exhausted to stand for more than needed. Gaz was away on deployment, leaving Ghost and Soap to sit in the seats to the right and left of him. Ghost’s eyes peered at his newest deployment papers, flipping through the pages pretty quickly as he was a fast reader. Soap had his head down, phone hidden under the table while there was a moment of silence– a break of sorts, in John’s meeting. 

“She had the baby, bonnie lass she is,” Soap says out loud, Ghost looking up from his papers with a quiet hum.

John frantically dug his phone out of his pocket, searching your mother’s name on social media. There you were, holding the tiniest bundle in your arms, swaddled inside a knitted blanket with her hands tucked under her chin. He had to leave, he needed a moment. The chair screeches when he stands, Soap’s attention snapping to his Captain, who started rushing out the door. 

Sharing a confused look with Ghost, Soap stood from his seat and left the room. Why did he leave in such a hurry? Why did he react like that in general? Soap was searching his brain for the possible answer. Come to think of it, Soap never noticed a gentleman by your side during your pregnancy and your mother had mentioned in posts how you were so strong and she was lucky to be by your side during this new adventure. Was John that baby’s father? Why was he not there with you? But then it all began to make sense the longer Soap thought– the SAS and Task Force were always keeping themselves hot on the tails of dangerous people, and those dangerous people would stop at nothing to take everything away from them. Maybe this was a mutual decision– and exactly why you left the military. 

John’s breathing was heavy as he shut the door to his room behind him. He felt unstable on his feet, nearly tripping on his way to sit on his bed. Your photo was zoomed in on his phone, your hair was disheveled, your hospital gown hanging from your shoulders– he was guessing you’d already attempted to feed the baby with how lazily it had been tied back up. John’s eyes focus on the baby, his heart skipping a beat when he looks at her sweet button nose and wispy little hairs poking out from her knitted bunny hat. Oh how beautiful his girls looked after all of their hard work. Pride swells in his chest, he knew this must have been so difficult, but you did it and looked even more beautiful than before as a new mother. 

The nights were long, the days melted together, and you found yourself lost. Though your mother lent a hand when she was available, you had taken on so much so quickly and had no adjustment time, as having a baby would do. Between nursing the baby and running on less sleep than you had gotten on some of your deployments, you were ingesting more caffeine than you liked, and you often found yourself nodding off at random times. But that little girl had been the easiest to please so far. As long as she got milk, had a clean nappy, warm clothes, and cuddles, she was content. 

John would have been the one to wake up at the first signs of movement in the bassinet– he was an incredibly light sleeper and would often rise earlier than most of his team. He’d say how much of a waste it was to sleep the morning away when you could be productive and get more important things done before the day actually needed to start. You weren’t much of a morning person and would often tell John to let you sleep in until the last possible minute if you stayed in his room for the night, but you always managed to slip out of his room before anyone came into the halls. 

Your mind wandered more during your maternity leave, often you questioned what John was doing, if he knew his daughter had arrived safely and if he knew how beautiful she was. Did he have any deployments in the time you were discharged to now? You were sure he was busy, as he always had been. 

A few weeks passed and John was on leave for three weeks, visiting home and executing plans he made with Soap for the day, who was taking a leave around the same time as John for a wedding. While walking the streets of London, hands stuffed in his pockets, and Soap to his side, the two talked about quick bite options nearby. John had a cafe in mind, mentioning that they had great coffee and sandwiches.

The late winter air nipped John’s nose, the tip dusted a light pink. He had a black beanie placed atop his head and a black peacoat over his jumper. Soap’s outfit resembled the outfit John wore, save the beanie, but add a scarf. Soap had attempted to reach out to you on multiple occasions since having the baby, but of course, you didn’t answer. Soap knew that he shouldn’t keep trying to pry and answer out of you, but he also knew that you needed the support of a friend, even though he wanted to be more than a friend. 

Price felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket, telling Soap to go on ahead and order for them both– Price wasn’t picky. Opening the door to the cafe, Soap felt an immediate warmth wash over him and the heavy smell of coffee filling his nose. Taking a spot in the short line, he stared at the menu above, until he became distracted by the woman in front of him, kissing a very small baby on the head, cooing and rocking her body as her hands caressed the sling that held the baby to her chest. He knew your voice anywhere. 

“Y/N?” He places his large hand on your shoulder, spinning you to face him. 

Your eyes were wide, a scared look on your face until you noticed Soap’s familiar face. Barely able to string words together, Soap took you by the arm and dragged you to the side, his arms engulfing you in an embrace, careful as to not smoosh the baby’s head between your two chests. 

“Why didn’t you answer my messages?” Soap’s low voice vibrates the side of your face as your arms wrap around him. 

“I didn’t want my old life to follow me because of her,” your voice trembles.

“But you didn’t have to face this alone.”

“I do though,” you pull away, looking at Soap with watery eyes. 

Feeling his heart sink, knowing that what you said was true, he didn’t want it to be. He wanted to be the one to hold you– support you, and keep you safe. Even though what Price was doing was carrying out the same purpose. 

“She’s a beauty,” Soap nods to the sleeping baby covered almost entirely inside your sling, her little face settled against your chest, lips puckering as she stirs to get more comfortable. 

“Thank you Johnny,” you smile, stroking her cheek softly, then adjusting the knitted bunny hat to sit closer to her eyebrows. 

Johnny– he hadn’t heard you say his real name in so long, it was like a treat hearing it leave your soft lips. 

“Reach out to me from time to time, just so I know you’re doing okay?” Soap pleads, his hands resting on your shoulders, squeezing them lightly to get his words through to you. 

Nodding with a soft smile, you could hear your name being called by the barista. Grabbing your coffee, you turn to exit the cafe, offering Soap a soft “bye,” as you pass him. You wrap your thick shawl around the baby tight, holding onto her with one hand while you balance your coffee in the other. You were only minutes from your mother’s house, and the fresh air was something you needed after being cooped up in the house for so long. 

Then you see him– John. He was ending a call on his phone, placing it back in his coat pocket before setting off on his walk to the cafe to meet back up with Soap. Your heart was pounding, and almost as if the baby senses your unease, she begins to stir and whimper. You walk closer and closer to where John’s position is by a lamp post. His eyes spot you and his body freezes in place. You keep walking, shushing the baby softly, your hand placed on her back to let her know her mother was right here. 

“You’re alright, Little Bunny,” you say into her hat, softly kissing the crown of her head as you pass John. 

His daughter was right there, cozily pressed against your body in the chilly climate. The baby wore a cream knitted bunny ear hat, one ear flopping over the side of the sling. She looked so much like the both of you, it almost scared him. He wanted to hold her— hold you. It ate away at his insides, turning his guts to liquid as he watched your eyelashes flutter down to the ground, watching your feet. 

Tears were falling like mad down your face as you passed him without a word, John watching you in disbelief– he didn’t think he would be able to rest his eyes upon you again, not after going this long without contact. But it was for the best, you both knew this. 

His eyes followed you until you were no longer in sight, making sure you were absolutely safe with the baby. Life could be different, he could run after you and grovel on his knees for forgiveness. To beg you to forget he was ever cold to you and to start fresh. But he couldn’t, especially not after how things ended and with knowing he’d jeopardize yours and the baby’s safety.

It was days later that you had run into Soap and John while out in London. You hadn’t slept right in days and it was a mixture of having a newborn who needed your attention and the anxiousness of seeing your old lover and not being able to think about a thing other than him. 

Your mother’s footsteps can be heard ascending the stairs and she soon appears in the doorway with a small parcel. Handing it to you and planting herself on your bed next to you, she waits for you to open it. As you tear into the parcel, peeling the tape and opening the box, you look inside and see a knitted bunny, the yarn pink and soft. Pulling the bunny out, you notice a note attached to it, neatly folded and taped shut. As you carefully open the note, your eyes scan over the words written on it. You knew that handwriting— John’s handwriting. 

“For Little Bunny.”

[jdzone]

obviously band together spoilers but, RAMBLE RAMBLE

i’m so torn up abt the fight before branch poppy and tiny leave…

john dory getting caught up in his old role- having actually /seen/ floyd too, there’s a reality to the situation that adds pressure (HMM kinda like expectations from the crowd in BroZone days)

unfortunately, because of that pressure john dory falls back into that headspace and gets over critical of their performances (he doesn’t say his own criticisms outloud, but he never does which leads to younger bros feeling unfairly treated [WHICH IS FAIR] when jd is just struggling with perfectionism feeling the band is entirely his responsibility as the oldest and since he started it… not the sum of its parts. like he knows they’re all talented ofc he just couldn’t separate that from the performance as a whole. this was its own tangent)

clay and bruce get triggered, and they end up ganging up on john dory. poppy attempts to diffuse the situation and we see john look at her with appreciation. but bruce n clay finally have a chance after all these years to vent their frustrations - especially since in their eyes nothing /has/ changed with john dory in reference to managing the band.

(all the while branch is doing the same stressed stim from when he was a baby ARRGH)

but, like before, jd is getting riled up and tries to defend himself. it’s a lot of responsibility - the feelings that have been brought up remind him of why he left —

“Why do you think I left!? So nobody would treat me like you did.”

to hear that from bruce, who both the brother JD has spent the most time with and potentially troll altogether depending on how isolated he was during the separation… there’s layers to what jd mentions about being the oldest and responsibility. we see no parents, and regardless eldest children are often coparents and JD stands for Jeldest Daughter. anyway,,

clay raises his voice to correct jd when he deadnames bruce /again/ and… jd gives clay and bruce exactly what they want. (they don’t want to be around him. it’s abundantly clear.) he needs to diffuse the situation no matter how much it hurts. they’ll go their separate ways after saving floyd… and.. unfortunately he hits right on branch’s insecurities. so jd managed to hurt all his brothers in extremely personal ways…

and then bruce belittles branch “don’t be such a baby” (bruce you gotta take a deep breath big big) and.. branch, in all his hurt he feels towards john dory, can relate to him. the oldest and the youngest. not allowed to change. always seen as bossy or as a baby from the nature of their birth order.

we see john dory step forward, and regret and recognition on his face.

idk i wish they had all gone after branch when he left, but i realize for the narrative it worked perfectly…

anyway.

[digitalmarketing-01]

A Parent's Guide to Neonatal Care

Welcoming a newborn into the world is a moment of immense joy, but when your baby requires specialized care in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), it can also be a time of anxiety and uncertainty. Understanding the NICU and the care your baby will receive can help ease some of your concerns. This guide aims to provide you with clear, concise information about the NICU, particularly focusing on services available at BR Healthcare in Rohini.

What is the NICU?

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) is a specialized area in hospitals designed to care for premature infants and newborns with critical health issues. The NICU is equipped with advanced technology and staffed by healthcare professionals trained in neonatal care. At BR Healthcare in Rohini, our NICU is dedicated to providing the highest standard of care for your little ones.

Why Might a Newborn Need NICU Care?

Several reasons might necessitate a newborn's admission to the NICU, including:

Premature Birth: Infants born before 37 weeks of gestation often need extra care as their organs are not fully developed.

Low Birth Weight: Babies weighing less than 2,500 grams may require additional support.

Respiratory Distress: Difficulty in breathing is common among newborns, especially those born prematurely.

Infections: Newborns with infections need close monitoring and treatment.

Surgery: Some infants may require surgical interventions soon after birth.

The NICU in rohini Team

The NICU at BR Healthcare in Rohini is staffed with a multidisciplinary team including neonatologists, nurses, respiratory therapists, and other specialists. This team works around the clock to ensure your baby receives comprehensive and compassionate care.

What to Expect in the NICU

Understanding the environment and processes in the NICU can help reduce stress for parents:

Monitoring: Babies in the NICU are closely monitored with equipment that tracks their heart rate, breathing, and other vital signs.

Treatment: Depending on the baby's needs, treatments may include oxygen therapy, intravenous fluids, medications, and specialized feeding techniques.

Family Involvement: Parents are encouraged to be involved in their baby's care. This may include skin-to-skin contact (kangaroo care), feeding, and comforting your baby.

Coping with the NICU Experience

It's natural to feel overwhelmed, but there are ways to manage the stress:

Educate Yourself: Understanding what’s happening can make the situation less frightening. Don't hesitate to ask the NICU staff any questions you have.

Stay Connected: Regular visits and participation in care activities can help you bond with your baby.

Seek Support: Lean on family, friends, or support groups for emotional support. BR Healthcare provides resources to help families during this challenging time.

Preparing for Home

When your baby is ready to leave the NICU, the team at BR Healthcare will guide you through the transition:

Training: Parents are taught how to care for their baby at home, including feeding, administering medications, and recognizing signs of potential issues.

Follow-Up Care: Regular follow-up appointments are crucial to monitor your baby’s progress and address any ongoing health concerns.

Conclusion

The journey through the NICU can be daunting, but knowing that your baby is receiving expert care can provide some peace of mind. BR Healthcare in Rohini is committed to offering top-tier neonatal care, ensuring that both you and your baby are supported every step of the way.

For more information or to schedule a visit, please contact BR Healthcare at +91-9205666381 or visit our website at BR Healthcare. Our facility is located at Plot No. 13, Bawana Rd, Shabad Extension, Sector 17, Rohini, Delhi - 110089.

By understanding the NICU and staying involved in your baby's care, you can make this challenging time a little easier for your family.

[ssfertilitycenterchennai]

A Comprehensive Look at the Pros and Cons of IVF Treatment: What You Need to Know

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a medical procedure that has been used for decades to help couples have a baby. It can be a stressful and expensive process, with many questions and decisions to make. To provide a comprehensive look at the pros and cons of IVF, this article will answer some of the most frequently asked questions about this fertility treatment. From the basics of IVF and its success rates, to the medical, emotional, and financial implications, this article will provide all the information you need to make an informed decision about the treatment. Whether you are just starting to research IVF or are already considering it, this article will help you make the best decision for your family. 

What is IVF?

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a procedure where an egg is removed from a woman’s ovaries, combined with sperm in a lab, and then transferred back into the woman’s uterus to grow. IVF is used when a couple is having difficulty conceiving due to one or both partners’ fertility issues. It can be used on its own or in combination with other assisted reproductive technologies (ARTs), such as artificial insemination or gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT) to increase the chance of a successful pregnancy.

How successful is IVF?

Success rates depend on many factors, including age, type of infertility, and the Best fertility hospital in Chennai procedure used. According to data from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the average live birth rate for all types of IVF is about 33%. Due to the fact that each person’s body is different, this rate may be different for you and your partner. There are several factors that can increase the chance of success with IVF, such as the use of donor eggs and/or sperm, increased dosage of medication, and choosing a younger donor. Because there are so many different factors that can affect IVF success rates, it is hard to give a single number for how successful IVF can be. Success rates are calculated based on how many women who undergo IVF become pregnant and give birth to a live baby. This is done on an overall basis, so there is no data available on how many individual women become pregnant or have a live birth as a result of IVF. 

What are the medical risks of IVF?

Medical risks are risks that are inherent to the medical procedure and are expected outcomes of IVF. There are a few different risks associated with IVF, including but not limited to: Increased chance of multiple births. During IVF, doctors use techniques to get the ovaries to release multiple eggs, instead of the usual one egg per cycle. This increases the chance of a multiple birth (having twins, triplets, or more). In the US, about 1 in 8 babies born as a result of IVF are born as a multiple. More risk of miscarriage. During IVF, there is an increased chance of a miscarriage, which is an early pregnancy loss. This is more common with certain procedures, such as IVF with GIFT. Potential risk of an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is when the embryo implants outside the uterus, most commonly in a fallopian tube. With IVF (IVF treatment in Chennai), there is an increased risk of this complication, which is a medical emergency. The risk of an ectopic pregnancy is higher with IVF than with an egg that is fertilized naturally. 

What are the emotional risks of IVF?

IVF is often used to treat infertility resulting from blocked fallopian tubes, low sperm quality, or poor egg quality. The emotional risks associated with IVF are closely linked to the couple’s fertility issues. If you have tried other methods without success, you may feel a sense of guilt or shame about not being able to conceive naturally. In addition, if you or your partner have a fertility issue, it can be an emotional process to come to terms with the diagnosis, find a treatment, and make lifestyle changes to help the condition. There may be times when you feel like you’re not in control of the situation. This can add to the emotional stress of infertility and IVF. These feelings can be heightened if you are undergoing IVF with a partner who has a different gender identity than you.

What are the financial implications of IVF?

The cost of IVF varies widely by location, provider, and type of insurance. According to Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) Facts and Figures, the average cost of one IVF cycle is $16,000. This doesn’t include the cost of blood tests, ultrasounds, medications, and other medical tests that may be necessary to start the procedure. Depending on your insurance coverage, you may be able to get some or all of these costs covered. If you have health insurance, it is important to understand what is covered, what is not covered, and how much you will have to pay out of pocket for any services. If you don’t have insurance, you may be able to get coverage through government programs or by exploring financing options. If you are struggling to cover the costs of IVF, there are organizations that can help, such as RESOLVE.

What are the long-term implications of IVF?

IVF is an expensive and emotionally and physically demanding medical procedure. It is important to remember that no matter how successful it is, it is not a “cure-all” for infertility. It is helpful to explore other options for treating infertility before choosing IVF because it is a very involved and time-consuming process. Even if you decide to pursue IVF, it is important to remember that it is not a long-term solution to your fertility issues. There is a chance that you will experience complications or have a medical issue that requires you to stop the treatment early in order to avoid future health problems. It is also important to consider the long-term implications of having children conceived by IVF. The children may have a higher risk of certain health conditions, including birth defects, autoimmune disorders, and some rare genetic disorders.

What should I consider before deciding to pursue IVF?

Before you decide to pursue IVF, you should consider the following: - What is causing your infertility? - What are your fertility plans if you are unable to conceive with IVF? - How much are you willing to spend on treatments? - How would having a child conceived by IVF affect you and your partner? - How will you and your partner react if you have trouble conceiving with IVF? - What are the potential complications and long-term implications of IVF for you and your children?

Where can I find more information on IVF?

For more information on IVF, you can search online for information from reputable sources, including medical journals and websites from hospitals, clinics, and medical associations. When you’re reading about IVF, it is also important to look for information that is up-to-date. Medical practices and technologies change over time, and you want to make sure you are getting the most up-to-date information.

[bakugohoex]

can you please write a fic where youre aizawas' wife and you're pregnant with twins, and while he's in the middle of teaching at UA you go into labor and you call him, and he leaves in the middle of their class, (the class dosen't know he's married and obviously dosen't know he's about to become a father) and the class thinks that something's seriously wrong because they saw panic on his face for a slight second when he got the call, so they end up following him to the hospital only to see him sniling and holding two newborn babies that look just like him and the woman who is on the hospital bed (you) and theyre in shock when they find out that you're his wife and those are his kids, but what shocks them most is the big smile on his face when he was holding his babies 🥺 idk i thought it would be cute

“did he steal two babies?”

pairing: shouta aizawa x female reader

cw: language, fluff

word count: 3000+

a/n: i live for domestic one shots, i might write some more depending on how i’m feeling, hope you guys like this have a happy new years eve people, the stupid tags arent working so if you could reblog it it would mean a lot 

summary: in which you’re aizawa’s secret wife, aizawa gets a call in the middle of class that you’re going into labor and eventually leaves, the class being noisy pricks follows him to a hospital, feeling worried they continue to follow until they see him holding two babies with a smile at his new family

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Eight months, eight full fucking months of carrying Aizawa’s little spawns. Having spent your last term of pregnancy on bed rest, it had been the worst term ever, you would rather have taken the puking up last nights dinner then staying in bed. Even Aizawa had gotten annoyed with how frustrated you had got, you craved how he could get up and leave for work. You hadn’t gone into work since your maternity leave started and you were annoyed, being a pro hero it had been worse.

As soon as you told the agency you were pregnant, you were desk bound, unable to go on patrols. It was fucking annoying and you hated every second of it, and all Aizawa could do was smirk at your frustration. “I’m due any day now, just leave work and stay with me.” You plead grabbing the material from his neck, you wanted him to hold you. You already felt gross staying in bed 24/7 but now you didn’t have your husband beside you 24/7.

“Kitten, this is my last day, I’ll spend the rest of the pregnancy with you.” You were grouchy letting go of him and turning your head to face away for him. “Y/n.”

He tried to gain your attention but ignored him, “you should’ve gotten pregnant as well you’d understand.”

He raised an eyebrow, shaking his head as he crept his arms around your body, his hand resting on the baby bump. You shuffled closer to his body, before turning your head to see him softly rubbing back and forth across the bump.

“Be patient, my love.” It was a whisper which brought you comfort.

“If you’re not home by 4pm then I’m locking you out of the house.” You threaten.

He looks down at you with your fiery eyes, “sure you are.” He kisses the top of your head; you pout wanting a proper kiss. He looks at how perfect you looked with his babies, when you both found out you were having twins, the small apartment you had called home since dating. Had gone and a house in the country close enough to UA and still for you to do pro hero work was where the both of you had situated.

Your relationship have been very secretive, a small wedding ceremony which had been perfect with your family and friends. Of course people had noticed you had gone MIA but one day you’d come out and tell the world how you and Aizawa were an inseparable family.

He moved to capture your lips, grabbing his face you wanted to just drag him back to bed. But he quickly moved out of your grip, “patience Y/n.”

“Shouta.” You whine like a child would.

“Seems like ill be raising three babies now.” He mocked putting the scarf around his yellow goggles.

“I hope you break your goggles.” You huff again, he doesn’t speak only kissing your temple after the small peck he had given to your lips.

He starts to walk out the bedroom, your wedding photo situated on the cabinet. You were perfect back then and now with his kids inside of you, you became somehow even more perfect. He had never thought that the woman he had met all those years ago, who had showed of her quirk to the whole world would be the one he fell in love with.

He looked back at you, you were grumpy due to hormones but once the babies were out you knew you’d go back to being yourself (and both of you could fuck properly, but that was just a bonus.)

“Make sure to walk around the house.” He warns.

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow, “and what if I don’t, will you come home early?” Your extra clinginess melted his insides, he knew how bored your loud self was and being cooped up inside had took a toll on you.

“I’ll come home early.” The sound of your squeal lifted his spirits, it was adorable, and he loved how easily your mood changed. Your face was full, and you had something to look forward too as he left the room.

The day for Aizawa had been smooth sailing, having asked to leave at 2pm and being able to, he had been with the students whilst they were training. He could imagine teaching his kids everything to do with this world, he couldn’t wait for his own leave, to spend time with his future babies but also with his loving wife.

The sound of Bakugo shouting was something else he had gotten used to; how could a 16-year-old boy be louder than the babies he had heard on those stupid pregnancy videos you made him watch. You had shown him a woman giving birth and to say it was the weirdest thing he’s ever seen; he’d happily watch stuff go inside of you but the other way round was another issue.

He stood watching over them, they had gotten a lot stronger in the months and the events that had occurred. It was another reason for the secrecy, having to hide your relationship to prevent disaster from happening. He watched the time tick away; another two more hours and he could leave and spend the rest of the trimester with you.

The sound of running caught his ears, he looked up and saw Principle Nezu walking towards him. “Agh Aizawa, we got a call from your wife’s mother.”

He hadn’t checked his phone, but if your mother had been calling it must’ve been something serious, the class had noticed the principle and had gotten quiet even Bakugo who wanted to know why the principle was here.

“Finally, you answered, she’s going into labour.” He heard on the other liner, he was in shock, his phone dropping to the side.

“Sh…She what?” It was early, of course you both knew about early pregnancies but this he had just spoken you a couple hours ago and now here you were about to go into labour.

“In labour, her water broke whilst I came to see her.” He could hear you screaming on the other side, how you must’ve been in pain, he knew you had been dilated a couple days ago but this, this was sooner than he had expected.

Nezu got the hint that something had happened and so had the class, a flash of worry across Aizawa’s face. “We’ll send the students back to the dorms.” He was calm and Aizawa quickly rushed out of the gym, leaving nothing else to say. He needed to make it to the hospital as quick as he could, in an instant he called your mother.

“Is she okay?” He had ran outside going to his car to quickly rush to the hospital.

He heard screaming which he assumed was you, “she’s grouchy…”

Before he could hear the rest of what your mother said, he heard you shout, “if that’s my idiot of a husband tell him to get to the fucking hospital.” It was a wail and he regretted not taking the day off.

“Y/n.” Her mother scowled, “we’re at the hospital, I’ll text you the room.” Is all her mother said before hanging up. Aizawa was stressed to say the least but what he hadn’t seen through the chaos was class 1A following him.

The class had seen the worry and panic before he jolted out of the room, “you all are dismissed for the day.” Nezu spoke before leaving.

“What do you think happened?” Momo questioned worried.

“He seemed in a hurry; it was probably something important.” Kirishima retorted back.

The class watched him on the phone the question of ‘is she okay?’ being heard. “Who do you think he’s talking about?” Mina asked.

“Why do you lot care so much?” Bakugo angrily said pissed that training had been cut early.

“He’s our teacher, what if something bad happened Kacchan.” Midoriya answered but it just fuelled Bakugo’s anger.

“We should follow him.” Denki suggested. “It might be serious and if people need help, we can help.”

They nodded, all assuming it had something to do with hero work, seeing Aizawa in his car, they started to follow him on foot, “we should’ve taken one of the buses.” Bakugo scowled following.

“We cant drive.” Kirishima muttered back.

Bakugo huffed following them all on the long walk, it was easy enough to keep following due to the mass traffic occurring. Aizawa having got the room number, he didn’t care for his surroundings, his eyes fixated on the road.

He finally saw the sign for the hospital and breathed out hoping you hadn’t gotten into labour yet. “Why is he at a hospital?” Ururaka questioned, “do you think someone got hurt?”

“Maybe we should go back.” Momo said not wanting to intrude on something that could have no villainous intent.

“Shut up extra’s, we’re already here.” Bakugo muttered walking to the entrance, they all followed the angry boy who glared at the children coming out of that ward.

“When did you care about the injured?” Kirishima questioned the blond.

“I don’t, you dragged me with you so now we’re staying.” For one thing the boy was persistent.

Across the hospital, Aizawa had ran to the room and saw your eyes filled with fury, your mother holding your hand as he could see how much pain you were in. “Look what the cat dragged in.” You scowled in pain.

“You can take over now.” Is all her mother said, going outside and waiting. He took her place and in an instance your hands had grabbed his.

“You must be the husband, I’ll be helping your wife, can you wear these?” The doctor spoke passing the blue overall type to keep his clothes covered, Aizawa obliged still holding your hand. “Mrs Aizawa you’re about 9cm dilated once you get to 10cm I’m going to tell you to push, okay?”

You were breathless and felt dreary, it would’ve been fine if it wasn’t for the fact you were having twins. You knew you’d go through even more pain then normal and in that moment felt scared.

“Hey kitten, look at me, you’ll do amazing.” Aizawa tried to be encouraging but even he was scared for all three of you.

“It hurts.” You tried to hide the tears, but it mixed in with the sweat.

“I know kitten, but you can grab onto me as hard as you want.” He smiles moving the strands of hair away from your sweaty forehead.

“10cm’s.” One of the nurses spoke out, the doctor nodded before looking at the angry you and calm husband.

“Mrs Aizawa you need to start pushing.” The pain was excruciating, you tried to push your grip on Aizawa’s hands becoming tighter. It was the worst pain you’d gone through and you’d been stabbed before.

Aizawa gave words of encouragement but all you wanted to do was tell him to shut up, tears cascaded down your face whilst pushing. “I see a head.” The doctor spoke, “keep pushing.”

You pushed a long with what the nurses had told you, in time to make sure you weren’t just randomly pushing. Aizawa was the first to see it, first to see the baby come out, it was quiet before wailing out loud, it was his turn to cry. The baby being placed on your chest before the doctor continued, “one more push, let’s get the other one out.”

You felt the first baby on your ski grabbing your neck as you kept on pushing, “I don’t want too.” You cried out but seeing Aizawa and how he looked at the baby on your chest you knew you needed too.

“Come on kitten, one more push.” He spoke a loud, you suppresses the tears before feeling another hard push come and the head of another baby erupt out of you. The doctor but the second baby on your chest, both their crying having stopped.

They stayed on you, you let go of Aizawas hand as the doctor told him he could cut the umbilical cord, he happily obliged before looking at the two babies that you both had created. They were smaller then normal and there eyes were tightly shut clinging onto their new mother.

“We need to weigh and clean them.” The doctor spoke as two nurses took the babies ready to put tags on them, the oldest had been a boy and the youngest a girl. You missed there touch and hold wanting to hold them again but watching them being taken out.

“We did it.” You spoke sleepily as you felt yourself being cleaned up and ready to be moved into another room.

“Yeah, we did.” Aizawa spoke going in to kiss your temple, “we’re parents.”

Tears brimmed his eyes; this normal dry flat facial features had become happier and all he could think about was how you looked with his two children. How he had gotten a family that he had never expected to have had.

Being moved to a different room, Aizawa followed sitting on the chair beside you. You saw the two babies come back to you both, in an instance they were placed back into your arms. “You can hold them?”

You had seen Aizawa’s hesitance to even touch the babies, but he knew how to do it and with ease they both were situated in his arms. You could hear your mother outside, she seemed to be talking to some people, but you ignored it watching at how Aizawa’s eyes welled up at the two babies.

“Where are my grandchildren?” Your mother spoke a loud before having heart eyes at how Aizawa was holding your babies.

“Mum, please be quieter.”

“Hey, I had to handle your screams, let me be happy, they look adorable with their father.” She spoke moving to the bed.

“They really do.” You both watched him look at the two children, a tear falling from his face.

Your mother turned back to you and she smiled at you, “I’m proud of you.” You give a nod holding her hand before she speaks, “have you two got any na…”

Before she could continue you hear the door open with the doctor coming in, “it seems you two have more visitors.”

You were both confused on the matter, nobody really knew you had gone into pregnancy except your parents and his and your father was still at work whilst his parents were out of town. It was unexpected but your eyes widen when you see the group of 16-year olds.

“They were wondering around the hospital.” The doctor speaks, Aizawa hadn’t noticed his students, but you and your mother had.

The kids were in shock at seeing a pro hero in a hospital bed but there eyes went to Aizawa’s he had been looking at his babies, unaware of his surroundings.

Nobody spoke instead just watching Aizawa interact with the two new-born babies, a smile placed on his normal flat self. “Did he steal two babies?” You hear one of them whisper, you instantly begin to speak after that.

“Shouta.” You whisper.

“Yeah.” He was so out of dazed but once he turns to face them all, he’s in shock as well.

“I’ll leave you to handle this.” Your mother leaves not wanting to have to explain this scenario.

Aizawa was still in shock, you reach out for one of the babies, he passes you the youngest, who starts to grab at your fingers. He sits holding the boy, before the class start cascading you both in questions.

“Are they yours?”, “How do you know Pro Hero Y/n?”, “Who is she to you?”

Aizawa looks at them and then at his family, you nod a sign that he could tell them everything, “This is my wife, and these are our new kids.”

It was a simple but effective, the class in shock that there homeroom teacher who seemed to be detached had you the loving pro hero as a wife, but even more now had two kids.

“Congratulations.” They all spoke a loud. It was rehearsed and you could tell that it all came out due to shock.

“What are you doing here anyway, I thought we said go back to the dorms.” Aizawa scowled.

“Baby, it’s fine, it’s good they found out anyway, since you wont be teaching them for a bit.” You calmed the man down.

He shakes his head at how easily you calmed him down, “you’re an amazing pro hero.” Midoriya spoke a loud, you thanked him before they didn’t know what else to say.

“I’ll go call Nezu, he can get you back to UA.” Aizawa muttered handing you the other child as he left the room.

“You married Aizawa.” Mina spoke a loud everybody looked at her, “what? We were all thinking it?”

You laugh looking at them all, “yes I did.”

“And you slept with him.” Mina continued with ever more eyes growing wider.

You continued to laugh, “that is how I got pregnant.”

“What are their names?” Ururaka asked coming towards the two kids.

You sat upright, letting them have a closer look, they all came forward even Bakugo who saw children as devils spawn. They were fresh out and anew, so pure and innocent as they tugged onto your hair.

“We haven’t decided yet.” You said looking at the two kids, you notice Aizawa at the door looking at the class as they surrounded you and the babies. The way they were quieter than they had ever been around two new-borns, they spent time asking questions and looking at the two babies. Before being dragged back to UA, all smiling happily at having spent the afternoon with two new-borns.

“They look like you.” You mutter sleepily, the two babies being put to sleep on the other sides of the room. “We made them.”

“I love you.” He whispers kissing you softly, you kiss back, happily at the new family you had and Aizawa finally realised what his happiness was. You and your two babies were all he ever needed now.

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[malereader-inserts]

A Ringing Dilemma

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Derek Morgan x Male!Reader Summary: Derek is having trouble with stuff, luckily Penelope Garcia is to the rescue! Word Count: 1,101 Request: Can I please have a criminal minds one? Where Derek Morgan (or Spencer reid!) Is stressing about how to get a ring for the m!reader- engagement ring- and how to surprise them but since they work together, it's hard? A/n: Didn’t think I would be able to write something like this, but I hope you enjoy this

“How’s the hunt going?”

Derek sighs, his hands support his head as he looks stress in his office, looking up at Penelope. She gives him a sympathetic smile, knowing that is a look of a man who’s seen rejection. He shakes his head, almost depressed like.

“No luck, it’s hard to get around (y/n), he’s just too observant!” Derek hits his head on the desk, groaning, “Why did I have to fall in love with a profiler.”

“Because he’s a charming handsome man who swept you off your feet more so than any other girl you have encounter?” Penelope asked as Derek looked up at her with despaired eyes.

“Baby girl, just please help me out here, I don’t know what he’ll like or what type of rock he’ll even like.”

“Okay, hun,” she spoke with amusement, closing the door and coming around to sit next to him, “What colour does he like? Or what is his birth stone?”

“I don’t know birthdays had birthstones.”

Penelope sighs, “Men,” she muttered under her breath, knowing your birthday anyway and typing in a male engagement ring with your birth stone in the ring.

There were many types, smaller stones that were wrapped within the ring. Knowing you, you wouldn’t want a ring that had the rock on show, you would prefer something that was embedded within the ring. 

“Silver or gold? Now, remember gold rings are more expensive, so depending on your price range and how much you guys are going to spend on your wedding and honeymoon - I would say chose carefully.”

Morgan looked at her with awe, profiler or not, he was a little clueless and loss with any knowledge with engagement rings. No-one really teaches you what to look for when buying them, but of course, people who wear rings more often would have a bigger idea on the situation. That being Garcia in this situation. 

“I’d like silver, I don’t want anything too flashy for him.”

“Oh hun,” Garcia says, “You forget your boyfriend is a flashy guy.”

How can Derek forget that about you? You were one of the loudest people he know, if not the loudest. If you were allowed, you would come to work in loud colours. After all, you like wearing bright colours because you weren’t afraid of standing out. Whilst Garcia likes eccentric clothing, you have to meet people and come off as professional as an FBI agent. 

But, outside work, you would wear different colours. Derek knows you have the whole rainbow spectrum in pants and cardigans, you have two tone pants alongside with your normal black jeans. Still, you had some soft pastel sweaters, button up shirts. He knows for a fact that you haven’t run out on outfits, and you always looked on point in them.

You never had a set aesthetic on fashion. One day you could wear somewhat feminine clothing, baggy clothing, tight clothing, you can pull off a skater look well just as well as a grunge look. It’s always a bet within a team to see what you’ll be wearing if they ever run into you out of work. 

“If anything (Y/n) might ask for platinum wedding bands,” Garcia says as Morgan raised an eyebrow, “Not as pricey, but not commonly asked for.”

“Well, that’s all great and that, but how am I suppose to pick it up?” Morgan asked, “I can’t exactly sneak off and lie to him, he’ll see right through me.”

“I’ll do the talking, you underestimate how I can do things around you sneaky profilers,” Garcia says, patting him on the shoulder, “Tomorrow’s lunch break, luckily it’s an hour slot so we have enough time to get a quick bite and go to the jewellery shop.” 

“You’re an angel.”

“Don’t mention it, hot stuff,” Garcia winks, deleting history and closing the tab, before looking at her work best friend, “The real question is how you’re going to propose and have him really surprised.”

“Aw, fuck,” Derek rubbed his face, Garcia could tell that he was too wrapped up in thought about the ring that he hasn’t put much thought about how he would pop the question.

“And, you young man is not going to propose (Y/n) in a dire situation. I want him to remember the proposal, something you two can tell the kids, not something that’s traumatic and you did it out of panic.”

“Yeah,” Derek sighs wistfully, “I want it great, something he’ll cherish forever.”

“Well, you keep thinking about it? You’re in no rush to do it, and do it something associated with something you both enjoy. Don’t do it on significant days, anniversaries and birthdays. Christmas is too far away as well as New Years.”

“Wait, why not on our anniversary or his birthday?” The agent asked in confusion, he doesn’t see anything wrong with proposing on those days.

“My opinion, it’s tacky and lazy to not get a gift, whilst it is endearing - I’m not a fan. Universal opinion, a bit overdone, overrated, somewhat expected.”

“Right got it,” Derek sighs and sits back in his seat, sighing, “I can somewhat relax.”

There was a knock on the door then your head popping in, a smile plastered on your face upon seeing your boyfriend. Derek looks at you, all his stress momentarily washes away.

“Hey Der, are you coming out soon or you’re staying longer here?”

Derek looks at the time, not realising it’s the time to get home, he looks back at you, “I’ll be out there in ten minutes.”

You nodded before casting your eyes at the tech analyst, “Alright, you coming as well Pen?”

“Yup just got to grab my stuff,” The woman smiles at you, just as bright.

You give them thumbs up, “Alright, we’ll be waiting by the doors.”

You close the door as Derek looks at his best friend, before talking after a minute or two of silence, “He wouldn’t have heard the conversation?”

“Calm down, Derek, I don’t think he would have.”

“But-”

“Hush with you now, up you get, don’t want to keep the others waiting.”

Sure, some of his worries are elevated, but he can’t help feel the nervousness bubble through his stomach. It’s a feeling he’s got to get used to until the moment arrives, he dreads how well he can hide that away from you. 

Maybe he could get the team on his secret to help him out, but even that is a task in itself to pull them to the side without being caught by you. This was a harder challenge than he thought.

[amelialincoln]

We're Still Standing

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she was being shaken aggressively out of subconsciousness. Amelia opened her eyes drowsily and realized immediately how cold she was. It took her a minute to adjust to the dim light illuminating from the lantern that hung beside the swing on the porch.

“What the hell are you doing? I was worried sick.” Her boyfriend’s familiar voice rang from above her and she felt his warm, oversized jacket wrap around her shivering frame. Amelia blinked at him, trying to recall why she was on Meredith’s front deck. Oh shit.

“I’m so sorry,” she slurred, shaking her head out of its daze. “I drove to Mer’s out of habit and I must’ve passed out.”

“We’ve been living in the apartment for two weeks.” His tone was firm and he stretched out a hand to pull her off the uncomfortable wooden swing. “Did you--” She knew what he was going to say before he had the chance to finish.

“No, no, I’ve actually barely been thinking about it since I started working again. I think my body is just still adjusting to the long hours.” She accepted his hand and glanced at her dim phone screen. It read 2:50am. No wonder he seemed so shaken up. She bit her lip, trying to hide her guilt.

“Oh, really?” He paused, trying to find the right words, cautious as always. “You seemed like you were struggling with it a bit while we were living at Mer’s.”

“I haven’t taken that much time off work since I was an intern, other than when I was using,” she explained as he opened the car door for her. “My sobriety depends on being able to fill my time with things I’m passionate about. I’m just getting back to feeling like myself again.”

“Okay…” Link replied, shutting the door gently and climbing into the driver’s seat. He pulled out of Mer’s driveway and waited until they were on the freeway. “So this has nothing to do with the conversation we had last night?” She was almost taken aback by how well he knew her. After spending almost every second together, over the last couple of months, she could barely keep anything from him without Link somehow noticing when something was wrong.

“It's just kind of a lot to put on someone,” she muttered.

“What do you mean?” He asked, glancing at his girlfriend who was twisting pieces of her chocolate brown hair nervously.

“It’s just that the expectation of me to be popping out your babies all the time is a bit overwhelming,” she glanced out the window as Link merged into their usual exit. “I just got back to work, Link.”

“Hey, I’m sorry. I was just getting excited. I didn’t mean like now.” He placed a soft hand on her thigh and felt her relax slightly. “We talked about having other kids a lot while we were at Meredith’s. I’m sorry if I jumped into the future too quickly.”

“Meredith’s was a different time. I was really hormonal and barely had time to actually process what was happening.” She forced a grin which made him raise an eyebrow.

“Well, how many of our conversations and decisions were made when you were hormonal?” He turned to look at her and watched her gaze fall. “All that stuff about marriage and houses and massive backyards?” He was dancing around the four kids that she had specifically outlined to him as her preference.

“Link, you and Scout are enough for me. I don’t need anything else.”

“Don’t need or don’t want?” He asked as he pulled into his apartment’s parkade. “Those are two very different things, Amelia.”

“Can we talk about this in the morning? I’m not thinking straight right now,” she answered honestly.

“Yeah, whatever you want.”

[][][]

Amelia was awoken the next morning to Scout being placed on her bare chest. Sun streamed in through the shutters of their third story bedroom and the glittering light from the ocean reflected like shards of glass on the white walls of the room. Link’s apartment was utter perfection, with a perfect view of Elliott bay and situated on a central, but not too busy, street close to downtown. It made her question why he was itching to move out so fast and start building the house he’d been fantasizing about for the last couple of weeks.

“Hi baby,” she smiled as Scout’s blue eyes stared up at her sleepily. He was always the most cuddly in the morning and she shifted to a position where he was able to wrap his pudgy arm around her neck. “Where’s your Dadda?” As if on cue Link strolled into the bright room, his long hair was disheveled and his face wore a hint of exhaustion. Probably from being up all night searching for her, she realized. He held two steaming mugs of coffee and the scent hit her forcefully as he held it under her chin for her to take a small sip.

“He’s been missing you a lot lately.” He lowered himself onto their bed gently and placed both of the mugs on the side table. “Ma ma, ma ma, all day long.” She laughed at his decent impression of Scout’s latest attempts at talking. “You think with all the time he’s spent with Dadda,” he spoke the word loudly at his giggling son, “He’d start liking me at least half as much as you,” Link joked.

“Mama’s boy.” Amelia shrugged, pressing a kiss to the top of her baby boy’s head and suppressing a yawn.

“Bailey texted you not to come in because neuro is slow today but she put you on call. I turned off your alarm. Thought you might need the rest.” He explained, his voice free of judgment. “You also got a call from our health insurance place. Our plans are ending in a week and we’ve still got some credit so I called the pharmacy to renew your birth control prescription. I noticed your pack this month was almost finished.”

“Oh,” she turned to face him, suddenly reminded that she needed to take her pill. “Yeah...thank you.”

“No problem.” He shrugged. “I can probably pick it up sometime today.” He handed her the cup of coffee, reading her thoughts before she could even ask for it and watched as she swallowed the tiny pill down.

“Link, it’s--” “Fine,” he shrugged. “I don’t have any expectations of you, Amelia. I know you went through a lot with Owen,” he made a face she didn’t recognize before taking a large gulp out of his own mug and clearing his throat. “I don’t want to make you feel trapped or obligated to fulfill my own selfish desires. It’s your choice and I’m not going anywhere...unless you want me to,” he paused, allowing her space to speak if she wanted to before continuing. “I was an only child and it was tough. It would’ve helped to have a sibling to lean on during my parent’s divorce and I guess that’s my own stuff that I should probably work through instead of pushing you into a situation that you don’t want to be in. I’ve seen you go through hell with your sisters and I understand where you are coming from. Most of all, I’d never want to force you to quit the thing you love doing the most. I also think that would be doing a disservice to the world because my girlfriend is a freaking superhero and she’s got hundreds upon hundreds of people to still save. So can we just pretend that everything I selfishly said to you didn’t happen? Cause I usually don’t like to talk everything out but I was up all night trying to put how I was feeling into words and I still feel like I did a shitty job.” “Now you know how I feel all the time,” she laughed, slipping her hand into his and wishing she could erase the stress that was radiating from him. “Screwing up while trying to get my point across is my specialty.”

“That’s not true, you’re one of the most well spoken people I know.” Link rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his coffee and looking a little bit more relaxed.

“There’s a lot of people who would say otherwise,” Amelia joked, pulling their duvet up to Scout’s shoulders as he began to fall asleep on her chest. “You weren’t being selfish,” she finally sighed. “If anyone’s not being fair it's me. I feel like my mind is switching up on me a hundred times a day. Since I’ve had the tumor I find myself constantly second guessing myself, trying to figure out what I want. Some days all I want is to be a mom. I feel like having Scout has made me become a better person and a better surgeon and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I don’t regret having him for even a second. Every single part of me loves him...and you. To the point where when I am at work, where I am usually at my happiest, I still find myself missing the both of you. Which scares me because there’s never been a doubt in my mind at work that I’m not exactly where I want to be. And I know for a fact that if we were to have another baby, or two or three, that I would find myself not being able to compromise between my love for operating and my love for my family. I know I would have to choose. And I don't think that I can. At least not right now.” Link nodded his head in understanding. “But when I can, you’ll be the first to know,” She laughed, causing him to grin.

“Well, I would hope so.” He rolled his eyes, pulling her closer to him gently, careful not to wake their sleeping son before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, Mia, and I'm not going to force you into anything. So for the love of god, stop running and just tell me how you feel because it's going to take a whole lot more than not wanting another baby right now to scare me off."

[blackenedwhite97]

Pregnant Panic- Poly! Erasermic x Reader

Hello! this was a requested fic from quite some time ago. I'll be catching up at some point, i'm in my final year of university so update will be more spaced out for the next few months.

Content Warning: Discussions of paternity, some medically accurate potentially a little gross conversations and mentions and depictions of anxiety and panic.

This story includes and Polyamorous relationship

Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

It was killing them. You’d think with how tired and unwell Shouta looked and how uncomfortable Hizashi seemed that they were the pregnant ones. Shouta was the most stressed you’d ever seen him, not because he didn’t want a child but because he was scared he’d be a bad father. You’d stayed up many late nights with him, looking out at the dark city skyline through the living room window, him drumming up ways he’d fail as a father and you countering them with rationale and reassurance. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be present. You all knew he was around the least; he was a teacher during the day and a full-time hero at night. Hizashi was usually home at night, at least.

Hizashi wanted two things. The first, to be as good of a dad as he knew Shouta was going to be. The second, to know which one of them had knocked you up. Hizashi, unlike Shouta had full confidence in Shouta’s ability as a father. Hizashi also had confidence in his own ability to be a father. Yet, and you assumed it was natural, the two of them compared themselves to each other constantly. They both felt like they had to fill a role that was usually filled by only one parent, a father. In regard to his second wish: It was driving him insane. Hizashi didn’t want to know for the reason of ascertaining who the “real” dad was, it was more of a who’s quirk we might have to deal with.

While it’s not a given that a child’s quirk is going to be the same as your parents, it’s still a possibility. A possibility some families count on so greatly that they arrange marriages based on quirk compatibility to keep their bloodline strong and on the top tiers of society. Your little mismatched family never worried about that sort of thing, whether this child was a telekinetic like you, made your ears bleed when they threw a tantrum like Hizashi or could shut his dad up like Shouta, or even if they were quirkless you’d all love them with every fiber of your beings.

This was going to be one lucky kid.

Hizashi was squirming around in his chair, his legs going from being slung over the arm rest to being tucked underneath him. Shouta was as still as a statue save the tip of his boot where his toes were wiggling with nervous energy. Hizashi shifted his position for the umpteenth time, his legs swinging around towards Shouta, their knees bumping. Shouta shot out his hand and gripped Hizashi’s knee, holding him in place.

“Stop squirming.” He grumbled.

Hizashi stilled and slumped back, splaying his limbs out dramatically. “Babe, come here.”

Hizashi looked slide long at you through his lashes and a grinned, waving you over.

“Sure, yeah. Hold on, lemme just-” you placed a hand under your swollen stomach as if that would help carry any of the weight and hopped off the examination table. You landed in a wide stance, almost losing your balance from the nearly one-foot drop. It was pitiful, since you’d started to really show it was almost like all of your hero training went straight out the door. Mind you, your hips were wider than they’d ever been, and you were twenty-seven pounds heavier than you’d ever been. You also constantly had a little critter kicking you in your bladder, which was very new.

You waddled towards Hizashi, the smallest of grins pulling at Shouta’s mouth as he watched you. He found your knew range of mobility highly entertaining. You stopped just short of Hizashi’s wildly splayed out feet, nudging one with the toe of your shoe.

“Can you stand behind me for a sec?’ Hizashi sat up straight. “I wanna try something.”

“Okay?” you raised an eyebrow but waddled around him anyways.

As soon as you were behind him he leaned back in his chair and propped his head back on your belly. He closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. “Now, I’m comfy.”

You stared down at him as he fought a stupid grin, trying to keep his face serene. Goof. “I’m glad our kid is already good for something.” You sighed, stroking the top if Hizashi’s head and smoothing his hair back.

Shouta blinked, his brows knitting together. “You are such a dad already.”

“Been practicing!” Hizashi quipped, shooting up and snapping one of his fingers into a gun.

Shouta rolled his eyes but couldn’t help himself and chuckled.

The door to the examination room opened and in walked a kind looking older woman with deep smile lines and dark shining eyes. She looked like she worked with babies for a living, there was a pure unadulterated kindness about her. “Mrs. Y/L/N?”

“Hi, yeah that’s me.” You turned towards her and stretched out a hand.

She took it with a smile and eyed the two men in the chairs. “Which one of you is the father?”

The three of you had agreed when this all started happening for the sake of appointments that weren’t with doctors you’d be seeing regularly Shouta was going to be the father. It was hard enough explaining that the three of you were together romantically anyways, add a baby in and the fact that you don’t know which one of them was the biological father and you have a proper scandal. Out of the three of you Hizashi was the most recognizable and had the closest thing you could equivalate to a fan base so Shouta felt that in order to keep a sense of privacy around all of this he’d be the place holder father. You’re doctor and OB GYN both understood the whole situation, of course they needed to. Both had been in favor of a paternity during the pregnancy, which you had wanted to fore go until after the birth. At this point in the pregnancy it would have to be an invasive test and with this being your first child the three of you were so nervous you didn’t want to even consider taking that chance.

Shouta cleared his throat and stood up, reaching out for a hand shake as well. “That would be me.”

Hizashi shrunk down in his chair, he had agreed to this prearrangement, but it still stung a bit. You placed a brief set of comforting pats on his shoulder and he straightened up a bit.

“Right,” the kind eyed woman took his hand. “everything seems to be going well and on track. If you wanted to go over specific we could step into another room?”

She eyed Hizashi, and curious look about her. It was probably rare to see a friend sitting in on any sort of appointment. You shook your head and spoke up.

“Oh, he’s here to help us keep track of everything. I have total baby brain and Sho gets… overwhelmed.” You smiled at her reassuringly, trying to normalize the situation.

“O-okay.” She looked down at the clip board in her hand and skimmed the page. “The only thing I would say is out of the ordinary is that all signs are pointing to a later birth than expected. This is completely normal, of course. There are a few options if we feel as though the little one if take their sweet time a little too seriously such as inducing birth.”

You looked down at your swollen belly, your little one didn’t even stir. Why would they want to leave anyways, the little shit was swaddled in warmth and had a direct line to all the caving food you were constantly supplied with. Aside from the waddling, miniscule range of motion, tiny bladder and hip and back pain you didn’t mind being pregnant too much. The boys were totally whipped, which you tried not to take too much advantage of. But you were human and Hizashi was getting really good at baking.

“Inducing how?” Hizashi questioned from his seat.

“W-well,” she looked at you and Shouta for approval before speaking, Shouta nodded. “there are ways to induce labour through hormonal injection as well as more slightingly invasive physical ways, however it all depends on the circumstances. We prefer the less invasive ways for new parents generally speaking.”

Hizashi nodded and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds. The woman looked between the three of you then looked back down at the sheet and began tearing slips off along the perforated lines. “Here are your prescription cards, signed off by Dr. Onishi.”

“Thanks.” You took the slips from her outstretched hands and she slipped out of the room, you could have sworn her polite smile slipped from her face as she closed the door behind her. She sniffed you three out.

“Invasive?” Shouta mumbled. “How invasive?”

Hizashi shrugged as he stood up, grabbing your jacket off the end of the exam table to help you into it. You turned around and let him help you into it, even putting on a jacket was harder when you were this pregnant.

“They’ll stick a plastic hook up my vagina a pop the amniotic sack thing.” You explained, expecting full well the boy’s reactions.

Hizashi shivered violently and let go your jacket, shaking himself out like a dog trying to rid itself of water after a swim. Shouta’s nose flared and his eyes rolled to the side as he frowned.

“Is that painful?” Hizashi asked, his voice still shaky.

“No one on google really said anything about that but it’s safe to assume is they won’t talk about it, it’s not good.” You shrugged.

“Ew.” Hizashi stuck out his tongue like a kid tasting adult food for the first time.

“Yeah, can we uh, stop talking about this?” Shouta, if it had been possible, had paled out. Throughout the pregnancy Shouta had gone from the toughest out of the three of you to the one that was the most squeamish about everything. Sure, Hizashi was over dramatic and very vocal about his thoughts and feelings but he always had been. For Shouta, the idea of your body literally contorting to stabilize itself only for it all the end in hours of screaming, crying and otherworldly pain was too much. Normal injuries? Doable. Anyone could get hurt. Giving birth? That was something only you could do out of the three of you and he didn’t like that.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and he hooked his arm under yours as you all made your way out of the building to the busy street outside.

“What’s up for dinner?” Hizashi asked, pulling up his collar against the wind. The winter was blowing in and Japan was in the early stages of grey skies windows and cool winds, not yet covering in heavy snow and frozen streets.

“Um, I kinda forgot it was my night.” You muttered. If you hadn’t been the pregnant you’d have been subject to a somewhat sarcastic lecture at the hands of Hizashi, but you were practically untouchable now-a-days.

“Let’s just pick up something on the way home.” Shouta grumbled.

“I gotta fill my prescriptions, though. We can just go to the grocery store, there’s a pharmacy in the back.” You said.

“I don’t want to make you cook.” Shouta sniffed, the cold air making his nose run. “Plus, it’s cold as hell and the grocery store is refrigerated, I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Sho I can-” you started to protest.

“Dad has spoken.” Hizashi chimed in, wrapping and arm around your shoulder. “We can split, Y/n and I can head home a grab food on the way, and you can go fill her prescriptions?”

“Nice try, Mr. “I-wear- a jacket- all- the-time-for-fashion”. You go get the pills; we’ll get the food. I’m fucking freezing.” Shouta poked Hizashi in the forehead.

“I can’t help that I like the layered look, Sho.” Hizashi huffed. You turned to his and gave him a peck on the tip of his nose, a dopey grin spreading across his lips. God he was easy to butter up, he was such a glutton for physical affection.

You took off you scarf and wrapped it around his neck and handed him your prescription slips. “Your assignment Present Mic.”

“Aye-Aye, Ma’am.” He saluted dramatically.

“You own me a warm drink when I get home!” he added over his shoulder at Shouta who was already wrapping his arms around you as you waited for the walk signal.

Shouta was a furnace as the best of time and a miniature sum at the worst of times. You’d taken his temperature before, worried that he had fevers or worked himself sick in the early days of your relationship. He was always around the normal base line, he just radiated heat like crazy. You sank back into him and let his thick wavy hair curtain around your face. You looked up and make eye contact with his smoldering dark eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey.” You said.

“Hey.” He hummed into your hair.

“What do you want to eat?” you asked.

“Hmm,” she closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “something warm.”

The cars came to a halt and the walk chime sounded as the pedestrian light lit up. “Ramen it is.” you chirped and skipped awkwardly froward, your splayed hips not exactly made for such enthusiastic movement. He trailed behind you; your hand clasped in his.

The Ramen shop on the way was the kind of shop you couldn’t eat in; it was a thin rectangular shop with just enough room for a line and the counter. You had never minded before but lately the lack of seating options as you waited was less than ideal. You and Shouta had to make do with leaning into each other, him trying to support you but making a makeshift seat with his thighs while she leaned against the wall. The cashier rang a small bell and called your order number with a polite thank-you. You scuttled to the counter and retrieved the expertly packed bags of lidded ramen bowls.

When you made it back to Shouta he was staring down at his phone, his normal peaceful tiredness replaced by an annoyed alertness. He was frowning and pulling away from the wall.

“What’s wrong?” you asked just in time for him to look up at you.

“Uh, there’s an emergency call for heroes. Like, three blocks from here.” He looked as though if he hadn’t been waiting for you to return he’d have already dashed out of the door. It was in his blood, Shouta was a hero and until one the assholes had knocked you up so were you. The splayed hips somewhat dulled that itch to jump into action, but you could remember how it drove you crazy.

“Go.” You nodded. “I can get home.”

“Y-you’re- really?” he turned towards the door and you could see him winding up like a spring action toy.

“Yes, go!” you waved him off. Without another work he was off, the door swinging in the wake of his exit. Although you hated to admit it, this kid had changed more than just your body. You never worried like you did now. You were never so afraid od the average mission or call turning into something catastrophic, you were paranoid about patrols in good neighborhood and rescuing cats from trees. Shouta literally rescued a cat the other night and when he was telling you about it all you could see was him toppling out of the tree and getting hurt. Whenever one of them left for work they would be setting up times to check in, and Hizashi being the chronically late guy that he is had to suddenly start keeping track of time. You didn’t want to raise this kid without either of them and while you all knew full well that it was a possibility with the life you all lived, it still terrified you to no end.

You tried to calm yourself as you stepped out onto the street, people were still milling about, and there was no thirty-foot inferno to speak of so things couldn’t have been that bad. You waddled the rest of the way home, bags of soup sloshing around in your hands, trying to stay calm. You weren’t doing very well. Usually you had at least one of the boys with you or they were together but no doubt Hizashi also had gotten the message. You groaned to yourself, knowing full well he’d also responded.

Your hands were shaking, hoping it was just the cold you rooted around in your pockets for your keys. Getting them in the door was an experience, both frustrating and upsetting in the only the way a pregnant person can attest to. Were the tears running down your face because you couldn’t get the key in the door or because you were a walking rage pile or hormones and anxiety? You whipped angrily at your tears and shoved open the building door, warm air washing over you. At least it was warm.

The building got more and more blurry as you made your way to your apartment, tears fulling your eyes until the lights were just wavering streaks. You were huffing breaths into what felt like air starved lungs, sobs pounding against your cheat trying to break free. You choked them down and rushed through our door, leaving the ramen in the hallway as you slammed the door shut behind you.

You really didn’t feel like being very very pregnant and having a panic attack. You started to pace around, running your hand through the soft blanket across the back of the couch and pressing your palms to the cool counter top as you went back and forth between eh kitchen and living room. Some tears fell but your eyes dried and soon enough your lungs stopped convulsing for air. You were still shaking and a knot was still tight in your gut but you had for the time being subdued the panic. With this new clarity you went you your room and pulled out you professional phone, the battery low having not been used in weeks.

You had also received the distress signal:

10 Ave and 4 St. Grand villain activity: League of Villain members sited at scene of disturbance. Requesting all back up in immediate area. Priority: Containment.

League of Villains. You’re stomach dropped, almost painfully. You gripped onto the sheets of the bed as you slid to your knees, panic rising in your chest again. You knew they were among other heroes, that Hizashi wasn’t a frontline fighter and Shouta would have a horde of heroes trying the keep him in play. You knew this. You also knew them, and that they could be stupid. Shouta had climbed a Goddamned tree the other night FOR A CAT. He could have fallen and died for a CAT. You choked down another sob. Hizashi was always the centre of attention and he did it on purpose. What if he tried to distract the villains and got hurt doing it? He’d done that once before on a mission and came home with a nasty concussion.

What if it was worse this time? What if the League was more organized?

You choked on another sob.

Warm arms wrapped around you and you jumped, trying to pull away.

“Hey, whoa, babe it’s me.” Hizashi hummed calmly. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s Zashi.”

He brought a hand to your head and held you against his chest, scooting closer to you in his crouching position. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed circles into your hair with his thumb and held you like that until you were able to calm yourself. “What happened?”

“I got scared.” You sniffed. “And I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Hizashi chuckled, pulling back to look at you. His nose was still rosy from the cold and his hair was swept back in messy waves. “Sorry.”

“You should be.” You punched him the shoulder, once for every word.

“Ow!” he whined, holding his arms up in defense.

“You did this to me!” you wailed. Irrational, yes. Cathartic? Also, yes.

“I refuse to take ownership until we get that paternity test!” he laughed somersaulting away from you.

You were just about to give him a piece of your pregnant mind when you heard Sho enter the apartment and trip over a set of paper bags.

“Y/N?” he called. “Hun? Are you, okay?’

Hizashi jumped to his feet and darted out of the room, shouting wildly. “She’s angry!”

You tried to push yourself up to your feel but couldn’t, slumping back down onto the carpeted floor next to the bed. The threw your hands up in the air frustrated, all that panic from earlier having left your body. Being pregnant was a wild ride, whatever you felt was so strong and so consuming at the time, but it could fade just a quickly as it came.

“I’m stuck!” you pouted.

Shouta crept into the door frame, Hizashi hiding behind him. The two of them melting at the sight of you slumped, cross legged on the floor, belly swollen, unable to move. Shouta grinned, that same entertained grin from earlier. He made his way to you and grabbed your hands hauling you to your feet. You slumped into him, reaching out a hand to motion for Hizashi to join in. Not one to pass up a good group hug Hizashi happily wrapped his long gangling arms around you and Shout, ignoring your grunts and he squeezed.

“That didn’t take long.” You mumbled into Shouta’s chest.

“Illusion base quirk, I erased it and it turned out to be a bunch of low levels trying to make a scene to get away with some cash.” Shouta explained. “You okay?”

You nodded and hummed into his chest.

“You sure? There’s soup in the hallway.” His whiskers rubbed against your forehead.

“The baby got scared.” You muttered.

“Oh?” he hummed, as if in thought. He pulled away from you and knelt down, so he was level with you belly. “Listen up little one, there’s nothing in this world that your parents can’t handle so don’t so around worrying us like that okay?”

Hizashi stooped down and eyed your belly very seriously. “Especially, your mom. She’s already doing all the heavy lifting, dude!”

You dropped your face into your hands a laughed. Yeah, this was one lucky kid.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can i ask for teen pregnancy with Sirius being pregnant, doesnt matter if trans or abo. It could be fluff or angst, but about how they would face the problem, would they be happy having a baby young or abort the baby.

((A/N: Fyi, they don't come to a conclusion in this fic. They talk lots and bring up different issues, but they don't decide on anything. This is trans, pregnant Sirius, and (in accordance with the prompt) is a teen pregnancy))

"I am going to commit a murder," Sirius said to himself, staring down at the results from his last hospital visit. The only saving grace in this situation was that his parents hadn't cared enough to ask why he wanted to get a checkup.

"Should I be worried?" Regulus asked, leaning against the doorway.

Sirius startled, hiding the parchment behind his back. "Whatever happened to knocking?"

"Your door was open."

"You should've knocked anyway," Sirius said, even though he knew it was a ridiculous thing to request. Open door meant they didn't have to ask for permission, and that had been the rule for as long as he could remember.

"Uh-huh," Regulus said flatly. "What are you hiding?"

"Do you really expect me to answer that? If I'm hiding something, I'm clearly hiding it for a reason."

"I was hoping that you were hiding it from our parents and not me."

"Well, in this case, I'm hiding it from all of you."

"Does your precious boyfriend count as part of this group?"

Sirius glared at him, hand tightening on the parchment. "Did you need something?"

"Not if you're going to be in such a shite mood."

"Then leave," he said, waving a hand like he could sweep him from the room.

Regulus huffed and rolled his eyes, but he left. He also closed Sirius's door as he went, likely to prove his point about the open door thing.

That was actually a good point. Sirius hadn't closed his door earlier since he'd assumed that the parchment was going to tell him that nothing was wrong and he should just wait it out until he felt normal again-- it's what usually happened when he went to hospital though, which is why he didn't do it very often.

He walked over and locked it, then went back and sat on his bed. Then he read the parchment again.

Pregnant, approximately fourteen weeks. Please schedule a prenatal appointment at your earliest convenience.

He had to talk to James. He folded the parchment and stuck it in his pocket, then shoved his shoes on and headed downstairs. "Hey Dad? I'm going to the Potter's."

"Okay," he said absently, then he looked up. "Everything fine with your hospital results?"

"I'll be fine," Sirius answered, because he would be. It might take a year or so, depending on his post-pregnancy recovery, but he'd be fine.

"Mm." Father looked back down at the newspaper. "Have a good time."

"Thanks," Sirius said, and he continued heading for the floo. It was a good thing his parents only cared about his life in the vague sense that as long as he was alive, they were fine with him doing anything.

He stepped out of the Potter's floo, casting a look around the room. James liked to lounge in there sometimes, so there had been a chance that he wouldn't have to go looking for him and risk running into his parents. Not that the Potter parents were bad. In fact, they were wonderful, but they were unfortunately more involved in their son's life than Sirius's own parents ever bothered to be. If they saw Sirius there, obviously upset, they'd ask, and Sirius, as a general rule, didn't like to lie. He wouldn't be able to brush them off as easily as he'd done to his father.

Sirius chewed on his lip and thought about heading home or just going to Diagon Alley and walking around for a while, but he did need to talk to James about this. And Merlin knew that he'd prefer to get this over and done with than agonize over it all by himself.

He headed to the backyard, assuming that if James wasn't doing his schoolwork for the summer, then he'd be flying. As luck would have it, he didn't run into either of his parents, and James was indeed on his broom in the backyard. It didn't take a full minute for James to notice him standing there, and he flew down to greet him with a bright grin.

"Hey," he said, broom in one hand and grabbing Sirius in a hug with the other. "This is a pleasant surprise."

He moved to pull away, but Sirius tightened his hold so that he couldn't go anywhere.

"Everything okay?" James asked, leaning his broom against the wall so he could hug Sirius back properly.

"I dunno," Sirius said honestly. Was it bad news? He wasn't certain. Was it good news? Well, he wasn't feeling butterflies, that's for sure. It was big news, and he didn't know what he was going to do about it, much less how he felt, so he couldn't be a good judge of if the situation was okay or not.

James didn't push for more information, letting Sirius hug him for as long as he wanted.

As much as Sirius would've liked to stay that way for an hour or so, he did have to do what he came here to do. He let go and pulled the parchment out of his pocket, handing it to James.

James unfolded it, eyes running over the words as he read. It was obvious the exact moment he reached the important information, because he froze. "You're pregnant?"

"Apparently."

"But," James looked up at him, "how's that possible? I mean, we used protection."

"Yeah, but not every time. We did forget once or twice, remember? And we thought 'what's the worst that could happen'?"

"A good reason not to get sloshed before fooling around, I guess," James muttered, looking back down at the parchment.

"Yeah."

"So... am I, like, coming with you to your appointment? When's it for?"

Sirius blinked. "You think I'm much more prepared than I am. I- sodding hell, James, I found out and came straight here."

"Oh. So you don't know what you're doing?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Do you want to figure it out together or do you just want me here for, like, moral support?"

"Oh, you're helping me figure this out. This is your fault, too. You can't weasel out of the decision making."

"I wasn't aware I was trying to weasel out of anything," James said, smiling slightly.

"I was being preemptive."

James leaned in, giving him a slow, sweet kiss. "We'll figure it out. You want to talk about it know or get something to eat?"

"If I say I'm craving ice cream, will you make some sort of pregnancy joke?"

"Er, not if you don't want me to. Non-pregnant people like ice cream too."

"I suppose that's true," Sirius conceded. He felt a lot more sensitive these days, but at least now he knew why. "Don't tell your parents yet, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course. But I mean, how long are we going to try and not tell people? We can't keep something like this hidden for long." He grabbed his broom, and they headed inside.

"Not... very long," Sirius hedged. "Just until we know what we're doing."

"No offense, but what's plan B? Neither of us know anything about pregnancy or babies or giving birth. If we wait until we know what we're doing, you'll have given birth by the time we get around to telling anyone."

"You're making this harder than it needs to be."

James shrugged apologetically. "I didn't mean to. I'm just worried. We can handle most things by ourselves, but this is sort of out of our league, don't you think?"

"Are you kidding? Of course it's out of our league, but I need to know if I'm keeping the baby or not before I start asking people for advice on how to do it."

"Sirius, darling, did I mishear, or are you pregnant?" Mrs. Potter said, making Sirius jump.

Sirius and James both turned to face her with wide eyes. "Erm." There was no graceful way out of this one. He really should've taken a look to make sure they were still alone, but he hadn't thought about it.

Mrs. Potter, because she was a kind woman, took in their shocked and somewhat frightened expressions, and said, "I'm guessing you didn't want anyone to know yet."

Sirius gave a tight nod. If she told his parents... well, he wasn't exactly sure what would happen, but he'd like to be the one to share the news, when the time came. If the time came. After all, if they decided not to have a kid right now, then telling them he was pregnant wasn't really important.

"Okay. I'll pretend I didn't hear a thing." She turned to leave, then paused. "However, if you had any questions, I wouldn't mind answering them, and you know that I wouldn't judge either of you, right?"

Sirius nodded again, not quite as stressed as the last one had been. Then, because that seemed insincere, he said, "I know. Thank you."

Mrs. Potter smiled and left the room so they were alone again.

"Bloody hell," James muttered. "I thought for sure she was going to lecture me about being irresponsible. I think it's because you were around. She really likes you, you know."

"I know," Sirius said with a smarmy grin. Then he got worried again. "I know that she said she wouldn't tell, but what if-"

"But nothing," James interrupted.

"I guess," he said, sighing.

"Ice cream?"

"Please."

They walked to the kitchen and James scooped a bowl for each of them, but he gave Sirius a much larger portion. Then he grabbed sprinkles, because Sirius liked his ice cream with a bit of crunch. He put one bowl and the sprinkles in front of Sirius where he was sat at the table, then grabbed his own bowl and sat down next to him. He gave it a couple spoonfuls before he said anything. "So do you want to keep the baby? I know you've mentioned wanting kids."

"Yeah." Sirius took his spoon and chopped at the ice cream. "It's not like I had any career plans for after Hogwarts, so it wouldn't be the worst thing if I had a kid right now." He stopped poking at the ice cream and sighed. "To be perfectly honest, I always thought that I'd have to convince you to have kids before we're thirty. You've got so many plans for what you want to do, you know? I know it sounds regressive or- whatever, but I want a family of my own. I want to run a household. I have a couple ideas for how to spend my time before all that happens, but it's not like they were dreams or summat."

"So you'd really be happy being a father this young?"

He played with his ice cream some more. "I think so. Wouldn't you?"

"Equal parts happy and terrified. Aren't you worried about doing it wrong?"

"A... little," Sirius said, frowning. "But it's normal nerves; I wouldn't describe myself as terrified. That'll probably come later, when the kid actually pops out. I think that's normal, though."

James didn't say anything for a while, mulling it over. He finished off his ice cream, gave it a few more seconds then said, "It sounds like you want to give this a try."

"I do," Sirius said immediately, "but there's so much to think about. You and me, for one. We still live with our parents. We're not married. I think trying to move out and have a baby at the same time would be a disaster. The sort of disaster where I yell at you for leaving your socks around or summat, and we never get better. And what about school? I wouldn't be able to finish my seventh year, and yeah I don't plan on going on to be an apprentice or a professor, but I'd still like to graduate."

"Mum might be able to answer that one. And we could both live here, couldn't we? I doubt my parents would mind. Dad's been telling me that he'd like it if I stuck around for a few years after I graduate, anyways. Not to mention, with how much they like you, they'd probably be over the moon if you were here all the time."

"I'm not going to assume that."

"We can ask." He saw Sirius tense up a little at that, so he revised it. "Or I can ask. My parents, our house, after all. If we were talking about living in your place, I would sort of expect for you to ask."

He expected for Sirius to agree, but instead, he shook his head. "We're in this together, so we should ask together."

"And that's only if you decide that you'd rather put off kids for a couple years. I mean, we don't have to rush this, but we don't have to wait another ten years either. If the only thing that's worrying you is school, then we could start trying to have a kid after we graduate. Or if it's the living situation, we could move in together after we graduate, and then give it a year so that we know how to be together when we're not still living with our parents. This isn't an all or nothing situation."

"That's true," Sirius said, adding more sprinkles to his bowl and stirring it all together. "I just- this might sound horrible, but I don't want to wait. I still want to graduate without worrying about making all my classes, but I don't want to put off having a kid because of it." He sighed, shoulders hunching in slightly like he needed to protect himself.

James chewed on the inside of his cheek, stomach churning. It's not like he disagreed with Sirius's decision for his life, but, "I don't know if I'm ready to be a father. I know that we've talked about it before, but I thought I'd have a couple years to get ready-- read parenting books and shite, y'know? I don't want to be a bad husband or a bad father, and I'm just- I'm sodding terrified, Sirius. What if we have a kid now and we're not ready? I'm not saying no," he added quickly, "but I'm worried."

"I know what you mean; I'm worried too. Again, I think it's normal, but if you disagree, you can talk to your mum about it. Hopefully she'll be able to tell us."

"Yeah. I'm sure it's a good thing that she found out so she can answer some questions, but I'm still... I dunno," Sirius said with a sigh. "I have so many questions, and they're all twisted around each other. Like, do I really need to know about where we'd live if there's no way for me to graduate early or take my exams late? Because if I can't do that, then I wouldn't need to know about where we'd live, but there's no point in asking about exams unless we have a plan in place for where we'd go from there. And even if there was something in place for me, what about you? I wouldn't want to have the baby and then you go back to Hogwarts every day for classes."

"So we should see if we can both graduate early," James said, but Sirius shook his head.

"I'm not going to ask you to do that. Besides, what about Moony and Wormtail? They'll die if we both vanish."

James was about to say that their friends would be perfectly fine without their presence, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn't know how he had missed it before-- likely he was too busy from his own thoughts about Sirius being pregnant and the possibility of raising a baby within the year-- but Sirius didn't want answers right now; he wanted to talk about every eventuality and complain. The solution would come later. "Well, to be fair, anyone would die if they suddenly had to live without you."

"Don't think you'll make me feel better by flattering me," Sirius said, but it was obvious that he was fighting a smile.

[vestigiallegs]

If their roles were swapped: how would Sam fare as a psionic and Ike as a lycomorph? How would their lives, personality and outlook change?

I actually answered this same hypothetical on my old oc blog years ago! However, my answer was pretty general, and with the development PT has had since then I have a better idea of what the specifics would be now, I think. Incoming longpost.

SAM AS A PSIONIC

SITUATION: Growing up in Rietveld would appeal to Sam for some of the same reasons it appealed to Isaac. Baby Sam ABSOLUTELY would have appreciated being stolen from her birth family, taken out of contact with her shitty father, and raised in an environment with some semblance of stability. However, with her general temperament and attitude I don't think she would ever have the same level of emotional attachment to Rietveld that Isaac does. In his most bootlicker moments, Rietveld IS his family, and a genuine savior to people like him.

Sam wouldn't share that take.

She would feel that the Rietveld Academy is more of a necessary evil. An organization with a good mission statement and a bunch of power hungry dirtbags looking to co-opt it into their personal army (a pretty on-the-nose assessment).

Adapting to her new life would be harder for her than it was on Ike, as she is generally allergic to rules and strict schedules and conformity. She would be a lot of trouble as a new recruit, hideously uncooperative and generally looking for problems. Of course, when you deal exclusively with kidnapped children, you see this kind of behavior a lot, so she wouldn’t actually be anything the Academy wasn't prepared to handle. Eventually she would tucker herself out enough to become somewhat system compliant (but she would always be looking for discreet acts of rebellion that she could get away with).

As she got older she would feel torn between wanting to put as much distance between her and Rietveld politics as possible, and feeling an obligation to every other psionic to try and effect change where possible. She would decide the latter was the morally right thing to do, and end up going down a very similar career path to Ike. In general, she would make a lot of his same choices, she'd just be more conscientious about it.

Assuming she was as psychically talented as Ike is, she'd have a similar time rising through ranks, garnering some level of recognition, reaching a sort of smalltime celeb status in certain corners of Rietveld. Eventually, though, her career would come to a ceiling. While this Sam would have learned to hold her tongue now and then, she is terminally pushy and nosy, and there would come a point where her superiors just... didn't want her any closer to sensitive information. Her career would lose steam in a much less dramatic way than Ike’s, and though she would remain respected people’s attention would drift as she settled into the life of a cog.

From here I can see two options.

1. She gets disillusioned and leaves for Verdamt of her own volition, growing even more disgruntled with Rietveld once she’s living outside of the system. She lives her best life but feels bitter that Rietveld stole years of her life from her.

2. She stays in her position for years, becoming one of those “cool middle aged mentor who is in a position of authority but not a jackass about it and looks the other way if you break a rule that hurts nobody” type characters who dies in a story’s inciting incident, either after discovering something they shouldn’t have and/or getting mercilessly betrayed by someone obviously evil who they fully trusted for some reason (fitting for her).

PERSONALITY: Sam as you know her, but with a much larger vocabulary. She has strategically polished her personality to come off as more intentional, charming, and rascal-y in order to balance her innate desire to mouth off and backtalk with her need to function in Rietveld’s existing hierarchy. Unflappably confident. Could function as a D&D party’s face without getting them all killed.

Cuts her hair short, very clean cut style, doesn’t smell sweaty. No tattoos. Still missing an eye.

ISAAC AS A LYCOMORPH

SITUATION: Ike's regular life is already stressful enough, and he is emotionally equipped to deal with psionic problems, he is not emotionally equipped to deal with lycomorph problems like Sam is.

First things first: he spent his entire childhood being raised ("raised”) by Seymour. Seymour is a career lycomorph hunter who has spent years tracking his runaway feral werewolf wife with the intent to kill her. He ABSOLUTELY expects his sons to follow in his footsteps, and when they are older, he makes sure they do. He raises his sons telling them they are obligated to help in the mom hunt and that every person they let her kill is second hand their fault. Terry grows up going “haha sure okay dad (turns to Ike and makes the cuckoo sign at him)”, but Isaac takes this to heart because he is just... really susceptible to guilt tactics.

You can probably already guess how Isaac would get infected and how Seymour would react to this.

Isaac knows his father is an awful, terrible man, even more than usual since he was actually raised (”raised”) by him. He KNOWS it. Even so, he finds himself completely caught off guard. He really for real thought “my dad would never murder me” was really a boundary Seymour wouldn’t cross. Of course, he also knows (”knows”) he shouldn’t feel hurt about this either, because executing the infected just makes sense, you know...

So this sad, wretched dogman is probably just going to let Seymour kill him, but luckily Terry is a voice of reason AS ALWAYS and kills Seymour before he can (something Terry has always wanted to do anyway).

Isaac copes very badly with being a lycomorph. While Sam adapts to her new normal relatively quickly, everything about being a lycomorph repulses Ike. He doesn’t like the transformations, they’re inconvenient and he finds them disproportionately painful. He doesn’t like being a naked wolfman once the change is over with. He hates eating carrion. He develops a psychosomatic weak stomach and struggles to eat enough for a lycomorph because he can’t emotionally bring himself to eat sub-human-grade food because THAT’S GROSS.

Luckily, good ol’ dependable Terry is looking out for him. No, really. Terry looks out for him. Not very well, because this is Terry we’re talking about, but he’s giving it his all and making sure Ike doesn’t die. (What makes you think Terry wouldn’t be there for his only brother?)

PERSONALITY: Absolutely VIBRATING with anxiety. Imagine one of those excruciatingly fearful, huge bite risk dogs. That’s him. Really hung up on and over dramatic about being a monster. Out of touch with what he likes and wants because he repressed like 3/4ths of his personality to get along with dad.

Looks like regular Ike got lost in the woods for a week. Doesn’t wax. Shakes like a chihuahua.

[anitacoknow]

I'm feeling my emotions pretty hard today (June 14th, 2021), so it might be a good idea to start writing.

Trigger Warning:

This text post mentions suicide, death, abortion, and could be an uneasy read.

About two months ago, I almost died during a routine abortion. The way that sounds, my stomach turns and it makes the tears fall like a monsoon. Nothing about getting an abortion is easy, it is humiliating and it's a huge personal hurdle to deal with - my heart goes out to any woman who has been in that tough position. That being said, I'm not writing this for sympathy nor am I looking for negative comments or death threats, I put myself through that enough already with my own mental.

Starting this attempt to release my emotions is difficult because I'm not even sure what to say to myself. I guess I am also hopeful someone will have the right words through experience or just in general because I'm struggling to find the words within myself.

To begin, I can't have children anymore and that is the worst part; I made a decision that took future decisions, future generations, future plans away from me. So, to anyone who wanted to go in on me at the sight of the word abortion: fate ironically beat you to the punch.

I made a decision that my heart wasn't wholly in and it almost cost me my life and it cost my daughter's life (I don't need scientific fact proving she was just a clump of cells and hadn't begun processing pain or emotion or whatever, doesn't change shit as far as empathy goes, so please shove it).

Her birth name was to be Juniper.

To give some insight, Washington State allows abortions up to 28 weeks. For those who aren't aware of pregnancy cycles/trimesters, 28 weeks is still half way through the pregnancy and the beginning of the second trimester. The fetus during this stage has become more human like and all that science stuff. I had my abortion at 21 weeks, in a clinic and the process shouldn't have gone the way it did.

On the second day of my procedure, I was put under anesthesia and when I woke up I wasn't all there. Before this, I had never experienced being put under anesthesia to my recollection, so what I thought I was feeling was normal. It wasn't until I realized I had been losing conciousness that things started to feel unnatural. I was laid on the floor of the "recovery room" and I started to regain conciousness fast. There was a lot of blood between my legs and mentioning it to them seemed to make the blood pool more. It wasn't long after that the doctor that performed the procedure squated next to me to tell me she needed to put me back under.

For the next bit, I apologize to the squeamish.

There was another woman in the room with me who had just come out of her own anesthesia, she was ironically a CNA, who started to show signs of worry when I wasn't making the anticipated recovery. The doctor had her removed from the room and leaned back in to tell me that they couldn't locate the fetal head and a few limbs. When they attempted to have me walk back to the room, I fainted and was placed back on the floor. The nurses wheeled me into the surgical room and helped me back on to the table, to which I protested them allowing me to see my ride. I'm hesitant to mention the father in this because it is sensitive, so I apologize for how he is mentioned in further comments. It wasn't until I saw him that things started to blur and I started losing conciousness again.

I feel it is also important to explain what I felt, which was extremely cold. My nipples were harder than they had ever been and despite the numerous blankets, warmed and otherwise, that were placed on me, my body didn't feel warmth until the EMTs carted me to the ambulance and the sun touched me; and again when I was placed on the surgical table at the hospital. Mentally, I don't think I was aware of anything bad happening to my body. Even after hearing they lost the fetal head, I don't think I ever reacted. If I had to say, I was mentally blissful - which isn't something I have ever experienced. I literally couldn't care less, everything was a joke (which is also part of my personality when dealing with assumed stressful situations) to me up until I arrived at the ER and they put me under before telling me that they might have to remove my whole uterus. My last words would have been: "oh, this table is so warm!" to the doctor who saved my life. When I woke up 24 hours later, there was a tube in my throat and I was tied to the bed (which Hollywood doesn't show in movies or T.V. so when you are experiencing it, it is really scary and it fucking hurts.) in ICU.

So, what the fuck happened?

Well, my uterus at the time of the abortion was about 2 pounds heavy and 2 feet long; Juniper was about the size of a sweet potato to give you an image. During the abortion, the doctor perforated my uterus, the length of the tear was about a foot long according to my surgeon/aftercare doctor. The abortion itself was supposedly no more than 10 minutes, but I was apparently under for roughly an hour. My ride expected me out in two hours, but after speaking to him, started to worry when I hadn't responded to texts and the elapsed time came to four hours. During the removal of the fetus, after perforation had occurred, I laid there internally bleeding for several hours. The human body can hold minimum 5 litres of blood (or to give you an physical idea, a gallon [US] of milk about) depending on the size of the body and health. A human can die from losing 2 litres of blood, but I survived after losing 4 litres internally, which is probably what saved my life. I vaguely remember being lifted on to the gurney and I vaguely remember the ride to the ER. I was given 7 units of blood, my uterus was stitched in 8 layers and the fetal head had nestled itself behind my kidney, so I had an emergency cesarean, plus a JP drain placed to remove all the blood that pooled in my abdomen.

The hospital experience itself is a different story and makes the whole ordeal just as sad. The only solace I had were two nurses that really didn't judge me, outside of that, everyone there had an opinion and wore it on their face and in their treatment. My last interaction with one of the doctors who helped performed my "miraculous" surgery and was probably the most surprising bit because it included a little racism. My partner is white and he is cisgender. Before his appearance, said doctor largely made fun of my pain tolerance when removing surgical tape from my incision area and inner thighs. If you haven't had a cesarean or don't know exactly what it is, after making the initial incision, the doctors have to literally tear the muscles apart to get to your uterus. In my case, I also had to have my intestines removed to get to my kidneys. Needless to say, my midsection was very sensitive outside of my low pain threshold. During the stint, he very angrily asked me if I wanted to remove the bandage myself while showing his frustration in his whole body and face. At that point, I just said fuck it and let him tear the bandage from my body with a little skin along with it. After a quick look, he stood up and asked if I cared if he left to deliver a baby and he didn't wait for a response, I assume because my face probably said exactly what he wanted. I sat there and cried until my partner got there and when he showed face again, his bedside manner gave me whiplash. He released us after I made a large fuss about my care and I left holding back tears until we were out of sight of the hospital.

The day before I almost died, I sat with the owner of the clinic who also doubles as a nurse there, and cried to her about my fear and the little consolation I had because she was kind. I have had two previous abortions during a previous marriage that I also didn't want to have, but being in an abusive relationship, you give and take a lot, that included. I confided in her that those two experiences, both at Planned Parenthood, were riddled in racist bedside manner and left me uneasy about abortions and clinics in general. Being a woman of color herself, she cried with me and assured me that things would be fine, in fact the woman doing my abortion would also be a woman of color. She called me two days later, I could hear her sadness, but it also left me in such a state of panic that I ended the conversation without saying much.

Women of color do not have great mortality rates when it comes to medical intervention, especially during pregnancies/child birth. However, uterus perforation during an abortion only occurs at a rate of .3%, so I'm part of a medical anomaly (it isn't an anomaly at all, she just fucked up). Beyond that, women of color, specifically black women are more likely to suffer from medical racism during aftercare. One of the biggest glaring problems being that black women are percieved to have a high pain threshold, something a lot of people lack.

Since this experience, which is missing a lot of detail, I've gone in an out of depressive mania. Which, to say the least, I can handle because I've dealt with it for years. What I can't handle are commercials, or even cherub faces in person, or the fact that my step-sister announced her pregnancy to our parents on mother's day. I can't handle the notifications of memories from my pictures that spotlight some of the photos I took during my pregnancy. I can't handle that my neighbors had just moved in and had just given birth right before being released from the hospital. Movie montages about children growing up making lumps swell in my throat. For the first few weeks I would wake up screaming, or crying, or begging whoever not to take my baby from me. I tried to cope with sex that I couldn't realistically have because I was healing. I took up smoking cigarettes again because it is the only thing I could physically feel relax my incision area. My daughter, who is 9 years old, asks me how I'm doing when I don't realize I'm zoned out and crying.

Overall, I wish they would have let me die. It isn't like I haven't tried to kill myself before and I always secretly hoped I'd find a way to just go peacefully. Of all my attempts at suicide, the most serious was drinking bleach and all I got from that was minor chemical burn in my esophagus.

Sitting there during my last follow up, knowing damn well I wasn't going to get good news, I asked the doctor who saved my uterus and life if I could safely get pregnant. I was told by another I could have a child, but it would most likely be harrowing because my uterus wouldn't be able to house a full term fetus and they would most like be born premature. There was also another possibility she kept from me, which my doctor with a penchant for being very frank said: "would end up taking my uterus or almost killing me."

Word for word: if I get pregnant, my uterus would rupture at the healed incision.

And what, what am I supposed to think or feel now that my worst fear finally materialized? I'm realistically mad at myself for materializing my greatest fear. I also hate myself for being so upset at something I caused because I know others are in my situation for reasons beyond their control.

I thought writing this would make me feel better, would make it so I wouldn't have to mentally relive it, but I just feel worse. My partner lost his job because he took a leave of absence to take care of me and that's to say nothing of him taking time off at the beginning of the year because he needed brain surgery. The job I had interviewed for earlier in the week kept my position open, but on returning to work found I couldn't keep my anxiety to a minimum and eventually asked for leave of absence. So now, we are struggling financially and I blame myself for that too, which I know I shouldn't.

I can't begin to explain how unsure and confused I feel every day. Some times I find myself pacing or walking around and I don't even know what I'm doing. Hearing or seeing emergency vehicles makes me panic. I've had to force myself to look down during driving because I'm so fucking scared.

Idk, I'm sorry to whoever is reading this. I just needed to vent.

[atendersun-archived]

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME. Mason Uri Thompson

NICKNAME. Muu 

GENDER. Male.

HEIGHT. 5′9″

AGE. 25

ZODIAC. Pisces

SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English is his primary language. Japan is secondary and verse dependent.

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR. Blond

EYE COLOR.  Brown-Green hazel

SKIN TONE. Fair, but with a pink, rosy undertone.

BODY TYPE. Mesomorph. His legs, back, and chest are the most muscular, while his arms trail behind as the leanest parts of his body.

VOICE. Is of average deepness at his normal speaking level, but raises when he’s nervous, or sad. His defense mechanism in stressful situations is to make himself appear smaller for safety purposes, but he’s working on being more aware of it.

DOMINANT HAND. Left

POSTURE. Somewhat arched. Having spent a lengthy amount of his time hunched over in an effort to take up less space as a person has had some life term effects on his posture. He does wear a bright blue brace for about thirty minutes a couple times a week to train his back to stay more upright, but he still finds himself slouching in the presence of people that unknowingly intimated him.

SCARS. He has a round shaped scar on his left arm from an incident with a colleague nearly from about five years earlier, so it has a lot time to heal to the point of being far less noticeable than it was when he first acquired it. There are also some very, very faded scars along his lower back from being unintentionally attacked by a dog as a child. He’d startled it when trying to retrieve a toy from a neighbor’s yard, and instigated a chase when he ran away. It was a small poodle.

TATTOOS. On the inside of his right arm is a tattoo is of very cartoony version of the character Oh from the movie Home. When he was very lonely, and down on himself, it became it his comfort film. He related a lot to the alien character of the film. When on a whim, he decided to get a tattoo, he knew he wanted it to be of something with a lot of meaning to him, but also something that would strike a sense of familiarity to those who also felt like they were an Oh in the world too.

BIRTHMARKS. On the side of his upper left leg, quite close to his butt in fact, is a small, circular mark with tiny, darker colored dots within it. If looked at the right angle, it almost appears to a smiley face. As kind of odd as it is, he really likes his birthmark, and the location it resides on. For a very long time, he held a lot hatred for his lower body for things that took a lot of counseling to come to terms with. Nowadays, he’s far too comfortable pulling down the back of pants just enough to flash his birthmark to people.

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). In the sunny, warm seasons of the year, he tends to get freckles that scatter primarily across his nose and his arms. They cease to be noticeable come late fall only to reappear after the rainy parts of spring.

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH. From what he’d been told by his grandparents, he had been born while his father and mother still resided on a military base somewhere within the outskirts of Phoenix, Arizona. After circumstances leading to the questioning of his mother’s parenting abilities, both him and his brother were relocated states away to live with their paternal grandparents once their father released custody to them in order for him to join the Navy.

HOMETOWN. Verse Dependent

SIBLINGS. An older brother named Matthew who is about two years older than himself.

PARENTS. His mother is entirely absent from his life after a string of broken promises that she’d gotten her life together enough to be a good mom to him, while his father and him are just distant from having very little in common with another. They can hold civil conversations with one another when they interact for brief moments at family get togethers, but he still is far closer to his grandmother than he is with any other parental figure in his life.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION. Preschool teacher at a daycare center for children between the ages of 6 weeks old to 6 years old. He never imagined himself as ever working with children, because quite frankly they kind of scared him at one point, but he loves his job more than he would have ever expected.

CURRENT RESIDENCE. He lives alone in a very spacious home that was actually leased to him when the man knew the younger was seeking out a place to live after an end to a relationship. His favorite thing in all of his home is the very large bath tub. It is far more comparable to a pool than a tub, but he has not yet had anything occur where he questioned downsizing it.

CLOSE FRIENDS. All of ‘em. Every last one of them. He has been especially grateful for the opportunities to reconnect with Hisao @angstiism, Hannah @kannojo, Alex @dis--parity, Pchan @nvrcmplt​, and Yukio @silvxcs. Someday, when he grows the guts to meet with and check up on some old, familiar faces, such as Archer at @sonderrow, and Nicole @gamenu, he’d like to just listen intently in regards to where life has led them. He also is blossoming in the new friendships he is forming with new people.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse Dependent.

FINANCIAL STATUS. He falls somewhere on the back end of middle class, yet he doesn’t really mind. It is familiar for him enough that he has learned how to make do without having a lot of money left over. It is for the best, really, because he still remembers very much so the ridiculous amount of money he’d spent only on pudding and snacks many years ago.

DRIVER’S LICENSE. No. He’s terrified to learn how to drive, so he just makes do with either walking, riding the bus, and sometimes even riding his bike if he has the energy to do so.

CRIMINAL RECORD. Clean. He’d like to say he’s done some wild things that have gone untraced, but the most adventurous he’s ever gotten was the time he stole a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal from a store in the mall. He later went back to pay for it out of guilt, so even that one doesn’t particularly count.

VICES. The constant need to be busy doing something to give his brain far less of a chance to dwell on things he is not satisfied with dwelling on. Maintaining an active and creative lifestyle are very important to him. Otherwise, in the event he does sink to an unexpected low, he tends to build himself back up by indulging in activities that brought him peace as a child. Doodling, watching cartoons, buying random things online from things he watched a kid to boost serotonin. His latest thing is to actually read poetry. He finds it really enjoyable to see something on a page that artistically expresses thoughts he can relate to, and has since started to collect an abundance of poetry books.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. He identifies under the queer label. He doesn’t really know for certain where he falls in terms of sexual attraction, since frankly he went years without even getting close to it, but he does know that he has deep feelings for all kinds of people underneath other categories of attraction. A more descriptive way of describing himself would be to say demisexual panromantic, but he prefers to use queer.

PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. Honestly, he really just thrives on fulfilling whatever role his partners request. He loves to care for people to immeasurable bounds, while shifting to a relaxed, or sometimes needier side of himself when the roles are reversed.

PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. He’ll tell you he’s a switch with a preference for topping, but in reality he is a switch with a preference for literally doing whatever the person he feels comfort and admiration for enough to get to that level with them in the first place. He does get a tad bitter when people make suggestions that he doesn’t have the assertiveness to be the dominant partner in those types of relations, and is therefore trying to education himself as much as he can on the overall process before he can even consider taking the reigns like that in real time.

LIBIDO. For the most part, very low. In his main timelines, he has gone seven years without going completely all the way with another person out of a fear of what could follow after that level of intimacy. He doesn’t necessarily have those same fears, but he does feel completely out of the loop in comparison to peers of his who have far more experience than he does. He is at least putting a lot of effort and thoughtfulness into being a more sex positive person, so in time he believes he will reach a point where he will have an average adult male libido.

TURN ON’S. Words of encouragement and affirmation, undivided attention, and playfulness are the primarily ones. Even if it doesn’t always sound exciting in its application, Mason actually finds it really helpful when a partner either verbally describes why and where they are touching him, or how they want him to touch them instead, because it gives a complete sense of clarity and consent. He’s admittedly very inexperienced and clueless, so being shown AND told are clearer in his mind than just being left to try and plan out his next move with limited reference.

TURN OFF’S. Dirty talk. Being called things like whore, slut, or other demeaning names while having sex not only turns him off, but it also really hurts his feelings even when it is jokingly implied that he is being labeled something bad. He also does not really like being referred to things such as little boy, bitch, baby boy. He doesn’t mind being called Baby when it is used to be an affectionate pet name, and he is so much of a sucker for being complimented on, that he’d probably not even bat an eye if someone playfully called him Princess. Just not around other people, because he takes his pride in being a top-man very seriously.

IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. His main two love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, while the others typically fall not too far behind. He also really just loves the ability to spend time with another person where both people are doing their own thing together. Those moments when he can just glance over to see the twitch of his partner’s lips, or the squinting of their eyes when they get seriously invested in their passion are very meaningful to him. He is also aware that he comes with things that are not always the easiest to love, such as heavy subjects spoken only about in serious conversations, and in the days that are harder to get out of bed than others, so he tries to actively make up for it in the ways he knows how. He’ll often take over the bulk of the work around the house and yard. As a man with a little bit of knowledge about a lot of topics, and a lot of love to give around to make up the difference, he seeks to love and be loved unconditionally by putting in all of his effort to doing whatever he knows will bring the people he is dating complete happiness. 

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.  Here I am Alive, by Yellowcard and Way Less Sad, by AJR.

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Learning how to play the ukulele, drawing, listening to music, playing videogames from time to time, and texting his friends.

LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. Right.

PHOBIAS. He really doesn’t have any of the same intense, yet irrational fears as he did as a young man, so it is a lot more difficult for him to pinpoint whether or not he has any remaining phobias. In some ways, the fears of rejection and abandonment still linger at the back of his mind from time to time. Otherwise, he would likely only become of just how terrifyingly ingrained something was to him at the exact moment he was face to face with it. Additionally, he does not hold any trust towards demons, and would scream profusely if he was locked in a room with one, but he refuses to admit that he finds them scary out of spite.

SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. For the most part, it is pretty comparable to the self confidence level he had as an innocent, wildly curious teenager, and is a thousand percent better than when he was experiencing the complete lack of self esteem that came with the depression of his very early twenties. He still wrangles with moments of issues of self worth and blaming himself for things that he is slowly becoming to terms with being the result of other people’s problems instead of his own, but they are at least only on very few occasions. Saying he necessarily loves himself would really likely come down to who he is present with at the time, because in some circumstances he believes saying such a thing would lead to him being punished for reasons he might not be able to explain.

VULNERABILITIES. Expressing his feelings to people. He spends a lot of energy dreading the possibilities that can occur by him being anything but kind and happy around the people in his life. He takes no pride in thinking that he’d some way be passing on his troubles onto another person, thus making them take on part of his low as they go about their own day. Logically, he knows that the likelihood of someone physically striking him for expressing his emotions are low, but internally he knows why that sense of fear is there in the first place. He’d rather be a person who is openly loved and feels internally than be someone who feels openly and is not loved at all. It is very telling of his complete trust in another person when he cries around them.

[latibulx]

Teddy & Gaeul

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! ㅡ closed ㅡ @nxvalunxsis

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - These two are meant to be, they'll meet in every lifetime!

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Oh, it's been so long that I can't remember how it happened but they were best friends for a while before they fell in love, right? In my memories, Gaeul had been dating someone else who was never here and she used to spend a lot of time with Teddy?

How was their first kiss? - I don't remember??? It was probably a sweet but unexpected first kiss that maybe shouldn't have happened and that left them both flustered? Oh my god, wait, weren't they sex-friends for a little while too???

Wedding:

Who proposed? - I initially wanted to say Teddy because Gaeul is such a romantic, but the thought of Gaeul being the one to propose to Teddy sounds actually very cute. Perhaps they'd be casually relaxing on the couch, and she'd ask him if he wants to get married, pft.

Who is the best man/men? - there's none

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - same here, it's a marriage only with both of them and their baby

Who did the most planning? - Gaeul, because Teddy knows that she has everything ready since her childhood, pft.

Who stressed the most? - Probably Teddy, because he still has a lot of insecurities and doubts.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 - I honestly think that they just put on nice clothes, went to the city hall and registered their wedding officially before going to the restaurant to celebrate. If Gaeul had dreams of a beautiful wedding in the past, now all she needs is Teddy and their baby. | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Everyone they know. They just want to keep it between them for a while.

Sex:

Who is on top? - It depends of the mood! They don't care much about it, honestly. They switch things around, pft.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Once again, it depends of the mood! They usually know when the other is in the mood though, so they don't hesitate to instigate things.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 - They've found their rhythm and even though they don't do much after the baby's birth, I suspect that once Gaeul will feel fine again they'll get back to it like they always do. | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 - they do like to try out new things even if it ends up being awkward and they end up laughing more than anything else! And they're definitely always up to spice things up - Gaeul's so curious, she might even research kinks! | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Quite a while, they know how to make each other last.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes, even though I believe that Teddy will want to give Gaeul more orgasms without expecting anything in return because he loves making her feel that good and he adores the sight of her coming undone under him.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 - I think that over the years they're being less rough than what they may have been in the past. However there are still times where both need to get rough sex. | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 - they don't necessarily always snuggle after sex because one will go shower or drink water and then they'll just go on with their day/night. However they always make sure to show the other how they appreciate them through a little gesture, may it be a kiss somewhere, a hug or holding hands while they're cooking a quick snack. | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two! If their first baby was unplanned, the second one was definitely planned.

How many children will they adopt? - They unfortunately don't adopt children.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - I think they share the tasks evenly between them - at Gaeul's insistance to have Teddy as involved as possible so he can grow more confident in taking care of their baby. At first she's always by his side, but it honestly doesn't take too long before she knows that he'll do just well with their baby daughter.

Who is the stricter parent? - Teddy, because he doesn't want their children to end up in dangerous situations as he knows how terrible the world can be.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Once again, that's probably Teddy. He'd want for their children to come back home straight from school while Gaeul would let them hang out with their friends. They'd have to find a good balance for everyone to be happy, but I'm not really worried about that. They always work things out one way or another.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Saying Gaeul would be a cliché but I genuinely believe that she enjoys packing lunches for their children.

Who is the more loved parent? - Eyyy, I don't like this question. There's no differences! Both are loved equally and both love their children equally.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Gaeul, because Teddy doesn't have the patience to deal with teachers after that one time he almost punched one, hahaha.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Gaeul, she's an emotional mom to see her children grow up.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Both, Gaeul can be very convincing and Teddy will just stare down at their children wordlessly lmao.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - While Teddy's skills get better over the years, it's still Gaeul who cooks the most.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I don't think either are picky.

Who does the grocery shopping? - They go together because it's a moment they surprisingly like to share, no matter how tired or lazy they might be.

How often do they bake desserts? - Gaeul likes to experiment in the kitchen, especially once they have children, so she'd bake desserts at least twice a month, if not more as she gets better!

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat lovers.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - At first it would be Gaeul but I feel like Teddy would get better at making such surprises as well. Even if he doesn't cook much, he'd be able to come up with a simple pasta dish, or something not too complicated just because he knows that it'll make her happy.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Gaeul!

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - That'd be probably Teddy for a while? Or even Gaeul if she gets too distracted and forgets she had something cooking in the oven.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Teddy because Gaeul tends to be a little all over the place with all of her books and then with kids toys

Who is really against chores? - None of them, they're pretty okay with chores

Who cleans up after the pets? - Gaeul, since they're hers to begin with, so they're her responsibility.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Gaeul, when she's feeling very lazy but then Teddy would stare at her until she's properly cleaning up.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - It honestly depends of who's visiting them.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Gaeul and then she'd say something like, "I forgot I put that one here", haha.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Gaeul has always enjoyed relaxing in warm bubble baths so it's definitely her. And if Teddy joins her, it lasts even longer.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They don't have a dog but if they did, probably Teddy.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Gaeul loves holidays so she decorates the house each single time!

What are their goals for the relationship? - They just want to be happy together and have a happy family and make sure that their children know that they're wanted and loved and cherished.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Before they become parents, both could have such mornings where they slept until noon. And after becoming parents, they took turns until the kids were old enough to take care of themselves.

Who plays the most pranks? - Gaeul, but Teddy also has some pranks up his sleeve!

[plxmisca]

Character Profile - Plumisca

Name: Plumisca Hashiyama

Alias: Sakura Serpent, Lady Plumisca

Age: 15

Birthdate: January 9th

Height: 154.2 cm

Weight: 47.3 kg

Gender: Female

Race: Oni

Affiliation: The Clan of Oni, Cassell College

Family:

Aso Hashiyama (Father)

Luphia Hashiyama (Mother)

Kirin Hashiyama (Little Brother)

Mikael (Adopted Dragon)

Love Interest: Ming-Z-Lu (?)

Occupation: Apprentice

Combat Style: Blade Master

Rank: S

“I’ll protect you, okay? I’ll protect you like my family once did for me.”

- Plumisca to Mikael

Plumisca Hashiyama is the apprentice of current Clan Chief Kaiba. She would one day succeed him and take his spot as chief, but a surprise attack on her secluded homeland had left Plumisca separated from her clan and lost in the outside world. As Plumisca struggled to grow accustomed to her new surroundings, she eventually raised a baby dragon of the Yalda species from birth, taking the creature in as her son and naming him Mikael.

Appearance

Plumisca’s most noticeable feature are the two long horns that protrude out of her forehead. While almost all members of the Oni Clan display one horn, Plumisca displays two, which is an incredibly rare trait that only appears on one newborn once every 500 years. She also has eye-catching long hair that retains a pale pink color but eventually blends into a shade of purple at the tips. Her eyes are a pearl pink color, which matches her hair.

The traditional Oni Clan outfit is Plumisca’s standard uniform and outfit to wear and go about her day. The fabric is comfortable yet durable enough to withstand any vigorous training the girl goes through. Although members of the Oni Clan wear similar styles of the traditional clothing, they are free to customize the colors. When asked which colors Plumisca wanted, she replied, anything that would not allow her to get lost in the crowd.

Plumisca’s modern outfit was obtained from one of Tokyo’s shopping centers at a certain point after her unfortunate separation with her clan. She deliberately went with a saturated pink color to comfort Mikael, who was unhappily shedding his ocean blue skin for pink skin during his growth period. Along with her new outfit, she also sported a new purple choker that grasped her neck comfortably. Additionally, Plumisca was also seen wielding a brand new sword.

Personality

When thrown into any situation, Plumisca is usually passive and soft-spoken. This irritates Kaiba, as he firmly believes such traits do not have a place when it comes to her future as the next clan chief. After becoming Mikael’s mother, however, Plumisca begins to slowly harden up, realizing that she would not be able to protect herself or her beloved child as the way she was. This change within herself allows Plumisca to also stand on equal footing when communicating with Ming-Z-Lu, who had tried to take advantage of her multiple times. Despite this, Plumisca still retains a kind-hearted nature above all else.

Due to the unfortunate events that happened during the surprise attack on her homeland, she has become needy towards certain people, even Ming-Z-Lu. Plumisca has a fear of being alone, but even so, she tries her best to be a capable mother for Mikael.

Powers and Abilities

Way of the Warrior

Plumisca’s use of the blade heavily contrasts her gentle approach in life. According to Kaiba, Plumisca is ruthless with a sword in training and in actual combat. Her ruthlessness when it comes to fighting stems from the desire to end the battle as quickly as possible. This fighting style can prove to be detrimental, however, if Plumisca becomes too hasty. After a duel or slaying an opponent, she usually apologizes to them, regardless of the outcome.

Trace of Plum

Trace of Plum is a superpower Plumisca was born with. This power grants her the ability to grow plum trees at will. She can speed up the growth of the trees if she wants to as well.

EX Skill - Oni’s Illusion

A powerful skill that can bind anyone into an illusion, and is Plumisca’s preferred way of fighting despite the mental strength it requires. Depending on how strong she wants the illusion to be, she can also manipulate the five senses of her opponent such as smell and touch. Plumisca also has the ability to enhance her illusions to such a devastating degree that she is able to kill her target with an illusion if the target’s brain believes what’s happening in the illusion is happening for real.

Relationships

Luminous

Out of the Cassell College bunch, Plumisca is closest to Luminous. The two met purely by chance in Japan and it wasn’t until Plumisca’s arrival at the college that they reunited. Things were awkward between them at first, but they slowly opened up to each other, eventually leading to the close friendship they have now. It was noted by Johann Chu that Plumisca seems to talk more whenever Luminous is around.

Ming-Z-Lu

Although she enjoys Ming-Z-Lu’s company, Plumisca actually has complex feelings for the boy underneath. For example, it was thanks to Ming-Z-Lu and all the times he dragged her to play video games with him that Plumsica became fond of gaming and even took it in as an occasional hobby. On the flip side, it hurts her knowing that the main reason Ming-Z-Lu chose to stay by her side in the first place is so he can one day force a deal out of her.

One thing Plumisca particularly does not like about him is his sick way of “comforting” her. There was a time when he’d rub her head affectionately and say to her with a fake smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from this cruel world. So you can run into my arms like the little helpless girl that you are!~”

Plumsica does not know where Ming-Z-Lu’s feelings stand with her. She cannot decipher whether the boy actually likes her and the way he treats her is just his twisted way of showing Plumisca his love, or if he’s merely using her as some sort of toy. She secretly yearns for his affection, but she doesn’t want to admit it.

Anjou

Anjou and Plumisca are on fair terms with each other. While they are not that close, Plumisca has shown her gratitude towards him multiple times for allowing her to seek shelter in Cassell College in order to hide from Osho’s pursuit.

Grandma Abe

While she is not Plumisca’s biological grandmother, the girl prefers to call Abe with that endearing term. It is thanks to Grandma Abe that Plumisca and Mikael have a home to live in, which is located at Ehime Perfecture.

Mikael

Mikael and Plumisca share a very close mother-son relationship. Even though Mikael was born a dragon, Plumisca chose to raise him like a loving mother. The girl had her doubts about adopting him in fear that she would only fail at her job, but her worries dissipated over time as she got used to raising him.

Plumisca is very protective of Mikael, and is especially suspicious of Ming-Z-Lu whenever he spends time with the dragon. This was also proven when Plumisca found it incredibly difficult to temporarily leave Mikael in the hands of Grandma Abe when she had to depart for Cassell College in order to hide her presence from Osho’s Blade.

In the evenings, Plumisca and Mikael love to talk about their shared dream of becoming travel companions once Mikael has grown old enough.

Caesar

Caesar and Plumisca are on neutral terms with each other. They only talk occasionally whenever Luminous is with them. Plumisca personally finds Caesar to be “too intimidating,” so she prefers to stay out of his path.

Johann Chu

Plumisca considers Johann Chu to be a quiet, but comforting friend. Whenever they are together, it is surprisingly Johann who does most of the talking. Their conversations mostly consist of Johann curiously asking the girl about her family traditions and her clan. Plumisca fondly remembers a time when she once helped him study for an upcoming exam.

NoNo

According to NoNo, she finds Plumisca to be “adorable and super squishy.” The time spent with NoNo usually consists of the red haired student parading the latter around college while calling Plumisca her new sidekick.

Chime Gen

Chime Gen was the first person Plumisca encountered after being washed up on the beach of Ehime Perfecture. There is not much to their relationship as they are merely acquaintances, but Plumisca noticed that Chime has shown interest in her on multiple occasions.

Kaiba

Kaiba is the chief of the Oni Clan and Plumisca’s dear mentor. She respects him to the highest degree and firmly believes that he is the strongest in their clan. Plumisca often worries that she won’t be able to live up to his expectations. When they are not busy training together, Kaiba displays a warmer exterior towards his apprentice. It is said that their relationship began when Plumisca was only five years of age.

Trivia

Despite her nature, Plumisca is unexpectedly very adamant about keeping her hair long. When asked multiple times by Kaiba if she wanted her hair to be cut so it wouldn’t get in the way when in battle, she refused every time.

She loves to stargaze on the nights when the stars shine the brightest. To her, the act of lying down on the soft grass while staring up into the sky is a form of stress relief that she likes to indulge in.

Out of curiosity, Plumisca once dyed her hair blonde, but was ultimately mortified by the result.

She enjoys eating sakuramochi.

Her favorite game to play is Mortal Kombat.

Not much is known about her family dynamic, but it’s assumed Plumisca had a positive upbringing.