#;;// but anyways imma fuck right on outta here now bye

[jayke0]

Do You Feel... Weird?

Pairing: Marc Spector x fem reader

Summary: kinktober day 4, Sex Pollen 

Rating: 18+

Warnings/content: sex pollen, chubby reader, yearning finally comes to fruition, friends to lovers, grinding, lots of swearing, protected sex (the pill), p in v, creampie, multiple orgasms, fucking everywhere, lmk if there's anything else i should add :).

Word count: 1,532 (yes they're getting longer)

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

…………………………………………….......................

"What the fuck was that?" You ask, choking on the fine dust that'd just been blasted in your face.

Marc looks at you with concern and shakes his head. "Shit, I don't know, just stay there ok? Sit down." You feel his large hands push you down till you're sat on the cold stone and you roll your eyes; what's the point of him asking if he's just going to do it anyway?

You shouldn't be mad at him actually, you love how concerned he gets for you when you're on a mission together.

You watch him slink off, which is shortly followed by grunting and crashing and a whole lot of yelling, most of which is Marc's, but eventually he comes back, seemingly choking on the same stuff you'd been at the mercy of.

"Got you too huh?" You chuckle a little, since he always has a bit of a god complex about being able to fight anything and anyone.

"Yeah—" he rubs his throat with a wheeze, "c'mon, lets get the fuck outta here."

The drive home is quiet, but you keep glancing over at the man; is he getting hotter by the second? The way his curls are still sticking to his forehead is something you'd usually fix for him by pushing them out of his face, but right now it's just making you bite your lip. You notice how the veins and muscles in his arms are more prominent.. are they always like that? It's as if his blood is coursing through his body faster and harder than usual. His T-shirt is sticking to his body, exposing his toned chest and arms—

Good God, you wanna fuck him.

You're too busy eyeing him to notice the way that he's glancing at you himself, his eyes quickly switching between the road and your thighs, the way they're squished against the car seat makes his cock twitch in his jeans, and he has to rest his hand on his crotch just to hide his growing bulge.

"Marc, do you feel any... different?" You ask tentatively as you approach your front door. Usually this is when you'd say bye to him, but you just wanna drag him inside and make him fuck you over and over till you can't walk anymore, it's…

"Weird, yeah." He answers, and it's only when your eyes curiously drop to his crotch that you notice he must be feeling the same as you. "Oh, thank fuck." You chuckle; certainly the first time you've been relieved by an unwarranted boner.

"Sorry, I dunno what's wrong with me. Imma go home now, lets just pretend this never happened." He waves his hands wildly, which gives you the opportunity to grab his wrists.

"Please don't go... I—I want you." You mumble to him before slamming your lips into his.

Marc lets out a reassured sigh against your lips as he kisses you back with the same furiosity, his hands cupping your face to keep you there so he can lick into your mouth and taste you better.

Somehow, you make it all the way to your couch without tripping backwards, though maybe Marc's strong grip is enough to keep you from falling, instead pulling you towards himself as he scrambles to sit down and have you on his lap. You pull from his lips just to latch on to his neck and graze your teeth across his tanned skin. "What... was that stuff?" You ask as you lick at the salty skin.

"Dunno... some kinda aphrodisiac I guess." He responds while helping you pull your jacket off and rolling his hips against yours, which in turn makes his cock grind perfectly against your clit even through both of your jeans.

"Fucking hell, Marc," is all you can reply, your nerves feeling like they're on overtime as his tip butts that bundle of nerves. Honestly, you could just grind on him till you cum, but the isatiable feeling to have him inside you seems to be growing stronger by the fucking second.

"Shit, you're fucking hot like this, grinding against my cock, does it make you feel good?" You nod and Marc's hands roam underneath your shirt before pulling it off, exposing your chest spilling out of your bra due to not having readjusted it since the mission. "Oh fuck, your tits are just—" he doesn't get to finish his sentence before he's burying his face between them, biting and sucking whatever flesh he can get his mouth on while his other hand his occupied with groping your hips and tummy.

You groan softly and tug at his shirt to finally take it off as well and reveal his toned body. "Hooooly shit, Marc," you chuckle a little. "God damn, you're beautiful..." Your fingers run up and down his chest before your hands come to rest on his shoulders.

"Fuck me Marc, I need you inside me, like right fucking now."

Marc doesn't waste another second before he's tossing you back on the couch and practically ripping his jeans off. You can see how his cock is throbbing in his boxers and leaving a wet patch of precum, the sight makes your mouth water; if you didn't need him inside you so bad you'd offer to suck him dry instead… maybe later.

He's seemingly resorted to making animalistic grunts and growls as he hungrily scans your body and pulls your jeans down, just with a little more care than he did with his own, but your underwear doesn't get the same treatment. He literally tears them from your body which makes you gasp in surprise, and then whimper, fuck he's so hot like this. 

Somehow, he also manages to wiggle his boxers off during that, exposing his length to you, and fuck is he big. Usually you'd find a man with that size intimidating, but Marc has never looked more attractive to you, and the way his tip weeps for you only makes you squirm more and pull him down into a heated kiss.

"Wait wait..." he pants against the heat of your mouth, "are you on anything?"

You groan, but you know that future you will appreciate the fact he asked. "Yes, so just put it in already." You tug his hips and his cock notches against your clit, making you jolt and whimper and resulting in a moan from the man.

'Finally, fucking finally', you think to yourself as his fat cock slides inside you, stretching you out to the point it makes you tense up.

"I know, I know, just relax. I know it's a stretch... but fuck you're squeezing me so good." Marc moans, sliding deeper inside you until he eventually bottoms out.

You already feel fucked out just from the size of him, but as he draws his hips back and the blunt tip drags along your g-spot, you grip his shoulders to ask him for more; and he obliges.

Marc's pace is relentless, his hips working to fuck you open and practically impale you, and you love every second of it, your cunt twitching and throbbing around him. Your throat feels like it's throbbing as well, what with how loud you're moaning, each time his hips collide with yours it sends sparks through your entire body and yanks a strangled noise out of you.

It's barely been a couple of minutes before you're cumming hard on his cock, clenching around him and causing him to come undone too, filling you with more cum than you've ever felt spill from a guy. You don't feel him go soft though, instead it feels like he gets impossibly harder, and he gives you pleading eyes.

"Please baby, fuck it feels so good, lemme fill you up again." He says breathlessly.

"Ok, give it to me Marc, over and over." You reply, and he draws another orgasm out of you in just a matter of minutes.

You continue like that for the rest of the evening, you're bodies slapping together and filling your apartment with filthy noises while you use almost every surface available to you.

You fuck over the arm of the couch, Marc groping and marking the flesh on your ass and thighs as he ruins you from behind and makes you grip the couch pillows so hard it could tear the material. Even the floor isn't safe; you'd migrated to it after your legs gave out and couldn't hold you up any longer, so he simply laid you down with your ass in his lap and fucked you like that.

After hours, the effects finally start to wear off and you both end up collapsing on the couch again, this time to sleep. When you wake up you're greeted with a now fully dressed Marc cleaning you up gently. 

"Don't move, don't want you straining yourself, just stay there, ok?" He pats your thigh and helps you pull a new shirt on "I'll look after you, it's the least I can do."

'Maybe I should go on more missions with him', you think to yourself as you close your eyes again, a big smile spreading across your face.

…………………………………………….......................

Prompts by: @/flightlessangelwings

Tagging people: @cowboymarcs @sad1st1c-wh0re @poopoobuttsy @boredzillenial @mllover260 @simpforbritgents @saevenswelt @partssoldseparately @keira-kaz2y5 @theincredibleinkspitter @l-lune @red-hydra @queerponcho

[cryptometaphor]

(Sarah arguing with a KKKomunist)

Him: You're a retard

Me: SHE'S the retard?! Sarah is the second smartest person in the world! Next to myself of course...

Sarah: Of course lol

Me: You're being very undialectical right now, and dare I say... revisionist.

Him: How am I... Are you just using words?

Me: You're the one doing an ad-hominem because you were utterly destroyed by her arguments. Annihilated. You can never recover. It's ogre for Trotskycels.

Sarah: LOL

Him: I'm not a Trot. What even IS your argument? Like how was I wrong? Were you even paying attention to what was said?

Me: As much as I needed too. Sarah said something poinent, factual, and with grace and in her sultry voice. You said (makes fart noises)

Sarah: LOL omg baby I can't breathe stooopppp

Him: You're not even making sense. Like I get it. Sarah is your woman, you...

Axel: HIS woman??? OWNERSHIP???

Me: Typical Trot behavior. Didn't even get rid of the capitalisms.

Him: What?! If you all are just gonna bully me with these grade school tactics. I'm outta here.

Me: "I'm leaving because I was proven wrong by a WOMAN! Owned by a MAN whose better than me and every way!"

Him: Not what I said... Bye...

Me: Oh come on, I agree with you okay? Men should own women. Inshallah (he hangs up)

Me: Crybaby

Sarah: You did just resort to bullying Jim. Didn't even refute his central point.

Me: Ah, a win is a win. Point is he was making fun of you. Nobody makes fun of you. Maybe me but even than only under strict regulations by the vanguard

Havoc: Is that us? Me: Yeth

Sarah: LOL baaaabbbyyyy...

Me: Yes my darling?

Sarah: YOU ARE A REACTIONARY AS FUCK LIBERAL NITWIT but I love you anyway and thank you for defending me.

Me: I love you too Sarah. Like the revolution is just looking into those eyes, all day long.

Sarah: Ok that's very sweet, but if you keep saying shit imma actually argue with you because one of us has to take politics seriously lol

Havoc: Jim will provide cheaper goods at the grocery store taking a box of little Debbie's and yelling "these prices are undialectical!"

Me: Populist leftism. The people long for a Marxist-Leninist-Karenism. We are all the manager now.

Sarah: Ok I'm actually getting pissed off and stop making me both angry, horny, shy, and laughing all at the same time lol

Havoc: How do you do that Jim? You do have a way with putting people through a roller coaster of emotions. You don't do it to be manipulative.

Me: Honestly Havoc it's hard for me to feel some emotions. So I compensate. I learn how people tic and use myself as a measuring stick. Like I know it's gonna sound BETA but I wanna cry, right now.

Sarah: Awwww honey, why???

Me: I just love you so much. Life's meaning is you. Just why do anything if not?

Sarah: Baby you're gonna make me cry.

Havoc: So do you hide it to appear masculine or...

Me: Nigga crying all day isn't very dialectical. It's exhausting.

Havoc: Fair enough.

Axel: Jim. You have manic-depressive episodes. Key word being manic.

Me: You're being very revisionist right now.

Sarah: STOP MISUSING MARXIST TERMS lol

Me: I mean he's literally revising my feelings inserting his own interpretation

Sarah: Ok that's slightly better use but still...

Axel: Objectively Jim you do suffer immense and complete depression I'm not fucking with you. Like if I felt the way you did, I'd be pissed I could only kill myself once.

Me: That's pretty close to how I feel all the time.

Sarah: Babe...

Me: I'm not saying that to disparage you honey. You are my everything.

Sarah: You bitch, I know that. I'm just sad FOR YOU empathy.

Me: Very undialectical...

Sarah: If you don't stop...

Axel: What you gonna leave him?

Sarah: I would never. He knows that too. I'll do something worse. Something actually dialectical that uses reason and material conditions to actually illustrate my point.

Havoc: Oh?

Me: I am both mortified but also curious... Perhaps a little aroused.

Axel: That's a Johnny Bravo meme I'm sure

Havoc: Jim is Johnny Bravo lol

Sarah: You don't want me to say it in front of the boys do you???

Havoc: OH?

Axel: Just fucking say it

Me: Stand down soldier... lol

Sarah: See? He's smart when he wants to be.

Havoc: Jim's embarrassed lol

Me: Well no shit I'm familiar with shame and regret lol

Sarah: Oh I don't think shame and regret is quite what...

Me: OK YOU MADE YOUR POINT, YOU WIN I CONCEDE

Havoc: (whip noises)

Axel: I was mistaken, Sarah owns Jim

(Sarah posts that breaking bad meme "you're God damn right...")

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 19.04.21 lb

here's what you "missed" (lbr tho, not watching tellywood is not called MISSING, it's called "FREEDOM") last week on this shitshow:

kabir pehla mauka dekh ke vatttt liya. #livefree my love.

kiara died the most inglorious death - forcefed a peanut butter milkshake.

riddhima as per usual, the moment someone drops dead in their vicinity, turned to vansh and was like:

ghar mein saaaaare 90s bachche start playing CID-CID. kaabil detectives watching this bs like......

besttttt part is that none of these dumbasses are ANYYYYYYYYYY closer to opening the damn black box than they were 2 weeks ago.

meanwhile someone keeps threatening riddhima ki they're gonna tell vansh the whole 6 hours secret. ho hum. sansaaaar ko khatam ho jaana hai lekin yeh manhoos raaz nahi khulna.

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlaskjd anu mom and her new-found spirituality and daily meditation is actually sending me.

mummyji being super helpful and telling riddhima ki dadi has the torch now. love how the whollllllle family is just playing passing the parcel with this thing, getting their grubby fingerprints all over it, as if it's NOT A VALUABLE PIECE OF EVIDENCE IN A MURDER.

dadi meanwhile is burning a hole in her phone screen staring at kiara's tattoo. bachchon se leke buddhon tak sabne isko ghoora hai, lekin majaal hai, inmein se ek ko bhi kuch samajh aaya ho. why can't y'all just accept that maybe it means nothing, it's just one of those dumb foreign language tattoos, that probably say "ek plate gobi manchurian" or some shit.

riddhima's here asking for the torch and dadi is just like BHAKKKKK NIKAL YAHAAN SE while having flashbacks to brandishing the mashaal like some crazyass charlotesville nazi.

another flower delivery for riddhima that vansh is receiving at the door, and sis loses it. runs like PT USHA and grabs the flowers and note outta his hand thinking it's another threat and tears it up.

vansh here like:

but also she cut her hand so ofc he's using mauka to suck on her finger. MAN IN THESE CORONA TIMES, Y'ALL REALLY KILLING ME WITH THIS GANDAAAAAA NON HYGENIC BEHAVIOURRRR.

lmao the bouquet was from vansh, as an apology (for what? no like, we've lost count of all the shit you do on an hourly basis, so which exact thing are you saying sorry for right now????)

also what adbhut new way of being pregnant is this that the immj2 ladies have cracked, ki inka itnaaaaaa se bhi pait nahi nikalta????

anyway, some blah blah cutesy romance bakchodi that no one has time for. i liked it better when y'all were constantly horny.

angre as usual here with some manhoos khabar that has vansh frowning and storming away.

police aayi hai. excuse you, we don't recognize any cops here but our one and only KABIR. HAIN KAHAN HUMAARA LADKA??? MISSING HO RAHI HAI YAAR?!?!!!? KYUN LAGA RAKHA HAI FALTU KA YEH SHOW WITHOUT THE BEST CHARACTER THAT EXISTS IN IT?

anyway police is like we heard there was a murder here, and vansh is like huh whaaa here no??? no dead ppl here, no sir. you may leave. police waale bhaiyya is like bhak chutiye, aise thodi hota hai, warrant laaye hain, hatt saamne se.

angre taking out a rolled up carpet, a trick outta the vihaan book. but it's too small to have anything rolled up in it, so.......

doesn't stop the police from making a big deal of searching it though, while vansh side mein se taane maarta hai. waise bhai kaaafi good mood mein hai aaj kal. looks like someone's been taking their meds these days.

riddhima just randomly falling down behind them. like..... ???????

this police is literally too dumb to function. THEY CAME WITH A WARRANT TO SEARCH THE WHOLE HOUSE, JUST LOOKED INSIDE THIS ONE ROLLED CARPET (THAT TOO AFTER GETTING DISTRACTED BY RIDDHIMA'S RANDOM GIRRNA) AND WERE LIKE OK DONE THERE'S NOTHING HERE BYE. LMAO WHAT THE HELL, MY CAT PLAYS HIDE AND SEEK WITH MORE FOCUS AND PURPOSE THAN THIS.

husband wife and anu mom giggling over how riansh ke do takke ka pyaar is enough to chutiya banaofy everyone. kya hi bakwaaas.

the slightest of movement and vansh is dizzy. lol is he severely anemic like me???? join the club, bitch. we have iron supplements.

oh boy, cut to a while later and bro don't look too good. he's still smiling at riddhima's banter and all, but.......... idk man, he looks like he's having a daura of some sort.

riddhima's amazing medical knowledge (or just plain common sense???) finally kicks in and she's like, u ok dude? imma call a doc. and he's like nooooooo i'm fiiiiiiiiiiiine. ok whatever. maro apne iss stupid secret container room office mein. bewakoof.

ISKE BEECH MEIN BHI ROMANCE. BHAAD MEIN JAO YAAR TUM LOG.

asldkjaslkdjlaskdjlaskdj angre ne laash ko vyom ke ghar rakh diya. as if there aren't enough creepy things lying around in there in the first place.

ok vansh seems to be getting real breathless and sickly.

meanwhile idhar angre is doing some kinda depraved play with kiara's laash and........... man everyone in this show is a fucking psychopath.

also it's now been like 3, 4 days since the chick died and ..................... body's not smelling ripe yet?

vansh coughing his way through opening that stupid orange coloured black box and.......... abbe chutiye, zinda rahoge toh khol paoge?????????

anyway the tattoo code whatever only has 5 digits and he needs 6 and meanwhile anu mom has come yelling about how siya's gone missing. great. ek pallllllll ka chain nahi is pagal-khaane mein.

find some letter in her room. vansh's coughing is getting worse and worse. bro, time to get a covid test.

at least siya was helpful enough to tell everyone she's going to saste!bhaiyya.

asli bhaiyya is understandably very very upset. and thus coughing and huffing puffing even more. SOMEONE TAKE THIS DUDE TO A DOCTOR THIS IS GETTING DISTRESSING TO WATCH OML.

anu mom toh is full-on ignoring vansh actively dying in front of her rn and is like OH GOD SIYA KAHIN KOI "NAADAAANI" MEIN ZINDAGI KHARAAB NAA KAR BAITHE (meaning: OMG VIRGINITY KHATRE MEIN HAIIIIII!!!!!!!!)

riddhima is like dude you're not fucking ok and he's still like I'M FINE I'M JUST WORRIED FOR SIYA. idk man i'd be more worried about your obviously failing phepdein and dil than your sister's hymen, but that's just me i guess.

riddhima is calling vyom and threatening him, and nothing gets vyom hornier than being threatened, so ofc, bhai mood mein hai.

vyom, unlike all other tellywood baddies (and even goodies), is a big believer in consent. good on him. 10 points to him over every other chutiya man in this show.

he's informing her about how vansh thikaane lagaofied the laash at his place. oufffffff, y'all need to respect poor dead kiara instead of just shuffling her body back and forth like this. uski aatma tum logon ke upar mandaraaayegi, dekhna.

riddhima's like idc about all this i just want siya to be safe and he's like too late babe. sardi, khaasi, na malaria hua; humko love love love loveriaaaaa huaaaa.

vyom's like siya aayi apni marzi se hai, par jaayegi meri marzi se. guess he don't believe in consent so much anymore. (revokes the 10 points i gave hm earlier. also taking away 50 points for this uglyass suit. bhai tu shirt utar, wohi behtar hai.)

vansh has now progressed to coughing like the people from the pre-movie anti-tobacco ads now.

hides the orange black box in yet another secret room hidden behind some panel, where all the raisinghania wealth is hoarded like pirate's booty in all these crates. y'all crazy, its 2021, put that shit in offshore bank accounts you dumbasses.

anyway he tells angre all this shit kaafi detail mein, and lord idk how angre ke neeyat doesn't phisalofy to just off this fucker and take over the whole thing himself. zero ambition this boy has. ishani hoti isske jagah, toh pakka karti. precap: riddhima trying to console vansh about siya; vyom being a creepy ass monologuing loser as per usual; vansh pays a visit to vyom exuding hella lotta sexy energy.

[lemonadetyler]

peter finds out you’re a villain

request: Head cannon on you being Peters nice, shy girlfriend but secretly you being an anti hero and Peter goes to where you are and seeing you in dark, tight spandex makes him very flustered ;)

pairing: peter parker / spiderman x reader

type: headcanon / smut

a/n: i adjusted the ask a lil bit, instead of villain / anti hero i went with vigilante. i hope that’s okay! send me an ask to join the tag list below!!

“bye, babe.” peter kisses you as he leaves your apartment after riding the train over to brooklyn with you like the sweetheart he is

“see you tomorrow?” you ask all wide eyed and cute like u be

“ofc, darling” he told u

he was always so worried about you

& you can totally handle yourself. you can do a lot more damage than that but if peter knew the truth, he would be crushed & what homeboy don’t know can’t hurt him

so peter leaves & you go into your room

sweater off

leggings gone

scarf deceased

your cute lil usual fit is on the floor

shy & sweet u gone

bad bitch u is here

your sexy ass has squeezed into your suit

u look fuckin good, feelin yourself

but u already knew that

do u cause a lil trouble when you go out? sure, but it’s so much fun

so ur out ur window and hopping rooftop to rooftop like the badass u be

u were kind of like a modern day robin hood but more violent and less predictable

out here avenging the world’s wrongs w/ some fun for yourself on the side

what shall it be tonight? u robbed some wealthy asshole last week. tomorrow ur busy sneaking into a prison & going all mercenary on some dumbass

u were absolutely awful, but only to the people who deserved it most

“god i am so in the mood for torture right now.” u say to yourself

so u do some scouting

tired retail worker = a bad target

lost girl at night was equally uninteresting

man following lost girl? now that could be interesting.

so u watch & wait

but all my ladies out there know damn well what’s about to go down

and yeah, shit hit the fan

but yall coulda guessed that

this dirty vacuum bag really tries to get with this girl, she wasn’t having it, he decides that fucking rape is next on today’s agenda

so u swoop in

see, ur not abnormally strong or powerful

but u have two things that these fuckers out don’t: 1. the element of surprise and 2. a really, really cool bat who you have affectionately named “bubbles”

its cute

anyways, back to the ass whooping you dishing out

so you might have broke into a police car last night

stole some handcuffs

but youre gonna give them back!!

just not at the moment

you handcuff this lil bitch to a bike rack

take the girl into a restaurant

make shes okay and get her a ride home

okay back to this fucker

he’s huffing and puffing like he finna blow this bitch down

like really

get a grip

so you uncuff him

and this man takes off

“i hate the runners” you say

gotta chase after this dude now

finally you catch up to him

knock him down with bubbles the bat

“dude, i just wanna talk” you tell him as he lays on the ground

“really?” he looks at u like he bouta cry

“lmao no.” you laugh and hit him with bubbles again

dumb bitch

but THEN

you’re knocked on ur ass by someone

you start to look up to see who it was

your vision is a lil blurry but u can kinda make out a figure

“is that fuckin spiderman”

“that’s gonna hurt tomorrow, miss.” he tells you

“i’d go home and ice it.” IS SPIDERMAN REALLY TELLING U TO PACK UR SHIT AND GO HOME RIGHT NOW??

“fuck i wish i had superpowers” you mumble to yourself

you can’t really compete with spiderman

gonna have to talk your way outta this one

“hello, mr. man?” you say all cute like “Imma need you to hand me that man back.” you finish

“no can do.” spiderman tells you

“i really don’t think the spiderman brand should be supporting attempted rapists” GET FUCKED BUG BOY

“did he?” spiderman looks at the man on his arm

“sure did.” you clarify

“i still I don’t think I can condone you beating him like you were.” spiderman tells you

“i’m simply doing god’s work” you say, trying not to laugh

“god’s work.” spiderman looks at you straight faced, unimpressed

now you begin to approach spiderman

“what are you doing in brooklyn tonight, spiderman?” you say SEDUCTIVELY LIKE YES GIRL

“just passing through” spiderman says

“well,” you bite your lip (agh!!!!) “maybe next time you should stick to queens.”

WHO NEEDS THE ICE NOW, SPIDERMAN?

“who are you?” spiderman asks you, genuinely perplexed

“it wouldn’t be as fun if I told you, would it?” you answer.

you grab the man out of spiderman’s hands, walking away, confident as hell

spiderman grabs you by your hips and turns you around

“you sound so familiar” he tells you

like can you fuck off

“not gonna like, i thought you’d be cooler” you respond

the almost rapist takes the opportunity to run away so that’s great

and spiderman just doesn’t care

“what the actual fuck man??” you say “i’m not running after that dumbass again.”

in the midst of your ranting, spiderman rips your fucking mask off

like IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED

“i knew there was no way you weren’t mine”

WHAT

THE

FUCK

before u can even register what has happened, he rips his mask off

“surprise!” your BOYFRIEND PETER shouts, NOT SPIDERMAN

“what?” you say in shock

“you were so confident and out there.” peter says in awe. “it was awesome. i didn’t know you could be so… dangerous.” he says after finding the right word.

“what are you gonna do about it?”

so peter kisses you

but like, aggressively

pushes you up against a wall

“you should wear this more often” he tell you

“you like it?” you ask

“like it? im gonna fuck you in it.”

ur pussy might as well be a super soaker bc that bitch is drenched

peter rips your suit open

“you got more of these?”

“yeah but maybe we fuck in this one from now on”

he’s got your nipple in his mouth

hands down your pants

you might just come right then and there

but peter’s suit is equally tight

and he’s been hard since he first knocked you down

WHICH, BY THE WAY, HE DIDN’T KNOW TO BE YOU AT THE TIME SO YALL DEFINITELY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT

“stop teasing me” you breathe out

slowly, which is basically still teasing, peter slides inside of you

moving in & out of u, his cock coated in your juices

“harder, peter.” you beg as he tentatively hits your clit with each move

THIS TIME, FINALLY HE DOESN’T HOLD BACK

boy goes to work

slamming in & out of you

“fuck, daddy, right there.”

also, peter didn’t know about your daddy kink until right now so i guess this is confession night

but he totally digs it

he grabs onto your hips tighter than ever before

sliding you on and off his dick as your back is to the wall

your legs are wrapped around his hips

you’re literally getting fucked hard in an alleyway at midnight by the spiderman

who would’ve thunk it

you both come

, hard

yall compose yourselves

“we have so much to talk about tomorrow.” peter tells you

“you’re spiderman.” you say, it still hasn’t hit you quite yet

“and you’re a vigilante with a daddy kink.”

“touche, parker.”

tag list: @smilexcaptainx @just-an-average-nerd @mstoomanynames @bcndevik @asadmarveltrashbag @bookgirlunicorn @spiderlingsweb @peterlikescats @i-alyssa

[corgikxsses-blog]

;;// looks @ this old ass blog

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 25.12.20 lb

you know what’s hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighly unrealistic about this scene? that she picked up a call from a number she doesn’t have saved. no millennial does that. we wait till it stops ringing and then google/truecaller the number and see if someone worth talking to.

vansh knows this and is thinking omg what kinda crazy person have i married?????? this bitch bonkers.

anyway, after ACP Anda, i think she deserves another catchy nickname, so imma call her Bitch-oo Babe.

he fully knew who was calling based on his reaction and is trying to distract her. this shadyassssss fucker, man.

also music therapy? i shudder to think what kinda music this freak might like. those alone might be grounds for divorce. i could never be with a person whose music taste i don’t at least begrudgingly tolerate, if not respect and appreciate.

anyway, hearing his voice, Bitch-oo Babe hung up, like any sane woman would, knowing that this dude is around.

HE KNOWS. HE FULLY KNOWS. FUCKER.

this looks hella uncomfortable. not to mention dangerous. stop distracting the driver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ghar nahi, kahin aurrrrrrrrrr. for quality time. with this dude. oh boy.

lmaoooooooooooo she’s like “but dadi.......???”

“riddhima, dadi se main pyaar karta hoon but tumhe nahi lagta honeymoon par dadi ko laana thoda awkward ho jayega???” snortttttttt.

she’s like nooooooooo but dadi’s waiting for us and he shows his horndog side and is like and i’ve been waiting monthssssssss. AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT, ASSHOLE??? TUMHE FURSAT KAHAN FROM PLAYING SHITTY MINDGAMES, INSTEAD OF LIKE..... STRIP UNO OR SOME OTHER FUN GAMES THAT WOULD RESULT IN ORGASMS? 

he literally just told her “humara din hai, riddhima. aaj ke liye apne dimaag se sab kuch baahar nikaal do.” oh don’t worry bro, she’s permanently like that only. aapko aaj ke din ke liye koi special instruction dene ki zaroorat nahi hai.

gaadi mein gadbad. of course. but it just stopped. didn’t blow up or anything. hmph.

how fortuitous ki gaadi stopped in front of this beauuuuuuuuuuuutiful setup. hum toh jab bhi phas jaate hain kisi busy road pe hi hota hai, and then traffic builds up behind and honks at us repeatedly and makes us cry.

he’s saying “nice” but very creepy shit about aaj ke baad jeene ke liye kuch bachega nahi and aakhri pal and all, and this idiot girl is just simpering at him instead of having alarm bells go off in her head. sis................ why are you like this??????? self preservation naam ki cheez kyun nahi hai tummm mein??????? like, i’m a depressed bitch who is constantly craving death and even my brain is like GET OUT IF YOU WANNA LIVEEEEEEEEEEEE every time i hear something “meaningful” said by this guy.

of course when he’s being normal, she has to ruin the moment by thinking of telling him everrrrrrrrrrrrrrything. sigh. why are you two so fuckinggggg exhausting?

SOMEONE’S WATCHING THEM FROM OUTSIDE HERE ALSO?!?!!?!? WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, ARE THESE TWO NEVER TO BE FUCKING LEFT ALONE EVER?????????????????????? JESUS.

YET AGAIN, SHE’S TRYING TO TELL HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH ABOUT THE PAST AND HE DOESN’T LET HER COMPLETE WHAT SHE’S SAYING. BOY IF YOU DON’T SHUTTTTTT THE FUCK UP AND JUST LISTEN TO HER I SWEAR TO FUCKIN’ GOD..........................

SHE EVEN TRIES TO TELL HIM KI LET ME COMPLETE THE FUCK I’M TRYING TO SAY IT’S LIKE A BURDEN ON ME I NEED TO GET IT OFF AND THIS ASSHOLE................ I .................

blah blah ateet hai, not present and aane waala kal, blah blah blah. let’s live our life and forget everything in the past. yeah ok, let’s see if he’ll follow his own words or if he’s gonna dig up shit from the past and torture her over it.

bathroom mein ek surprise hai? oh boy. this fucker’s surprises are never good. 

thankfully she used her brain and is like was all this planned, us coming here???? he’s like jagaah yehi thi, but the car breaking down here was a coincidence. sure. i don’t believe a single word outta your mouth, you silver tongued fuck.

man, you’re so hot. why can’t you just be a good human being also???? ouff, apparently, that’s asking TOOOOO much of men these days.

aslkjdlsakjdlsakjdlaskjldkjsalkdjsal the way the psycho theme music just started playing in my head!!!!!!!!!!!

some shady talk with angre. could be talking about riddhima, could be talking about anupriya. who knows??????/ either way, some woman about to get her life ruined by this fucker.

behen still adamant on confessing the truth to him. wrote one big dramatic letter. who the fuck writes letters anymore???? put that shit in an email or a whatsapp message or some shit, sis.

anyway, condition is that gimme a rose and i’ll understand you’ve forgiven me and want to start a new life with me despite all this.

kept the letter next to his wallet.

ek pal ka sukoon nahi hai is ladki ki life mein. always from the frying pan into the fire.

vansh came running, tab tak person has disappeared. with his wallet. (and her letter.) so he’s like koi chor tha shaayad.

SHE JUST TOLD HIM SOMEONE TRIED TO KILL HER AND HE’S LIKE SO CASUAL ABOUT IT AND SAYING “RIDDHIMA, RELAX, KUCH HUA TOH NAHI NA TUMHE?” WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! DID HE PLAN THIS?????? WAS THIS THE SURPRISE HE HAD WAITING FOR HER IN THE BATHROOM????????

he’s like let’s go home if you’re uncomfortable and she’s like NOOOOOOOO I’M FEELING BETTER NOW.

yeah. this is the face of someone feeling “better” minutes after being attacked.

sis soooooooooo horny for her husband she’s just brushing aside trauma acquired 2 minutes ago, to get laid. god, could never be me. 

jesus christ what the fuck it’s like a gulabjal ka factory exploded nearby. i have a headache just looking at this. so fucking ott.

anyway, she’s panicking about no gulab in his hand. SIS. LOOK AROUND YOU??????? GULAB HI GULAB HAI. HAR JAGAAH. LIKE...... WHAT MORE GULAAB THAN THIS YOU WANT, HUH??????????/

LO. HAATH MEIN BHI GULAAB. HAPPY? LORD.

happy tears, happy tears. (FOR NOW.)

everytime he does this getting down on his knees and making this 🥺🥺🥺 face thing, i go buck wild.

god he looks soooooo good and he’s saying allllllllllllll the right things. pity i don’t believe him.

behen ne bhi kar diya pyaaaar ka ailaaaaaan.

LOL WHAT KINDA AMATEUR BS IS THIS???? SIR WHERE’S THOSE MOVES YOU HAD AS VIHAAN????????? UGH, I MISS VIHAAN. HE WAS SO MUCH SEXIER THAN THIS DORK. 

i’m so fucking mad that this is the fucking nonsense they gave us as first sex scene. ugh. ek toh lip sync. woh bhi to a song i hate. upar se so much ootpataang nonsense. in terms of disappointment, i think this might rank even higher than shivika’s laal ishq. that at least had sexy soundtrack and the expressions and all on point. this is literally cringey as fuckkkkkk.

wow. one neck kiss that lasted .03 seconds. thanks. i’m all satisfied now. 😒😒😒

anyway, i sat through it so y’all could have these caps of rrahul’s face looking good. enjoy.

agla episode mujhse abhi dekha nahi jayega. uska lb kal. i need to go get rid of my disappointment at whatever this was, by watching some new girl or something. ok bye.