#< i might post about this rewatch bc i love talking about this show a little bit too much so if you're completely uninterested i'll tag it

[usertoxicyaoi]

anyway boyyofgod are in their workshop era and the videos they post on their socials are so funny im so excited for it all to shape up over the next few months!!!

[vulpixelates]

anyway. now on my third grey's anatomy rewatch in less than that many years 🙃🙃

i missed cristina so much, it's so wild that there's almost as much of the show without her as with her now

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

a Mai-Azula-Ty Lee analysis bc i have Many feelings

so this is definitely super random for my blog, but i just rewatched the boiling rock (bc ofc i did lmao) and i've been obsessed w this quote since like age ten, but it just hit different this time around and i feel the need to share:

"You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you."

so. here's the thing. this quote is objectively insane for a million reasons, but i want to talk about some of the parallels we can pull from it bc imo it makes it so. much. WORSE.

"No, you miscalculated! You should have feared me more!"

here comes the main theme of this post: fear, juxtaposed with love.

i do genuinely believe that Azula loved Mai and Ty Lee. not in the way typical friends love one another, because Azula is not a typical person who learned to love in a typical way, but love nonetheless.

(we can trace this back to her relationship with her father VS her relationship with her mother. Azula had a very distinctive way of looking at her childhood: she was her father's daughter, and Zuko was her mother's son. while we never saw Azula's reaction to his banishment, whether it was positive or negative, this surely cemented this idea for her. once their mother was gone, her father had no use for him. but of course he still had use for her—he loved her.

and if her father loved her, in a father-daughter relationship fueled by fear and intimidation, and her mother didn't, in a mother-daughter relationship that wasn't, what do you think she learned of love? but we'll bring this idea back later.)

she loved them, and she trusted them, and they betrayed her.

but before i really dig into the quote, i want to go over this love-fear juxtaposition, because it is a common theme throughout her character arc as she spirals further and further.

this scene is set after the betrayal, and the fact that they brought in a hallucination of her mother is very, very important.

once again, these opposing feelings of fear and love are brought back again. before, i said that Ursa and Azula's relationship wasn't fueled by fear. but is that true? Azula says very clearly here that her mother fears her and thinks that she's a monster. And this hallucination of her mother, a figment of all her worst fears and regrets and internal conflicts, brings up Mai and Ty Lee.

And then:

Even you fear me. No. I love you, Azula. I do.

"even you fear me" "no. i love you"? this is so, so crucial to what we know about Azula and her perception of love. she views love and fear to be very closely linked, even intertwined, not something to be separated in such a way.

even you fear me — but do you love me? i don't know if you do. but you fearing me does not stop you from loving me. they are not separate entities. i do not know how to be loved if i am not feared.

no. i love you — you are my daughter. i do not fear you. i love you. they can be separate. i love you without fearing you. no, i do not fear you. i love you.

and this is Azula's breaking point. tears stream down her face and she shatters the mirror. this separation of fear and love—it's too much. she doesn't know how to handle it. she knows fear without love, but she does not know love without fear.

her relationship with Zuko is another prime example. i fully believe that Azula loved her brother, or at least cared for him in some capacity. you see it in scenes such as these:

she had no reasonable ulterior motive here. she genuinely was trying to help him and look after him—but he's also afraid of her. he's afraid of what she might do or what she wants from him, even if in this particular scene that fear is unnecessary.

even when she recruited Ty Lee, she used fear to get Ty Lee to join her:

Ty Lee is legitimately happy to see Azula, but you can see the fear on her face when she turns down Azula's offer to search for the Avatar. and then, you can see that fear again when Azula tells her she'll be attending her show. and of course, Azula sets the net on fire, and Ty Lee ends up accepting Azula's offer.

i do believe Ty Lee and Azula had genuine love for one another, but Azula just never knew how to have that love without the fear.

and finally, we come back to the quote.

I love Zuko more than I fear you. / You should've feared me more.

or: I love Zuko more than I love you. / You should've loved me more.

the use of the word "miscalculated" fits perfectly here. everyone adores Azula. she's the prodigy, the crown princess, the Fire Nation's darling. no one is supposed to love Zuko. Zuko is the failure, the banished prince, their nation's greatest shame.

you miscalculated. you were supposed to love me. you were my friend. you were my ally. i trusted you. i made you fear me. you were supposed to love me. no one loves Zuko. everyone loves me.

you miscalculated. love doesn't work like that. love doesn't come with fear. fear chases love away. you made me fear you. you made me hate you. i chose Zuko, because you don't know how to love.

and it all always comes back to Zuko, doesn't it?

but i'm yours. Zuko was mother's, and mother is long gone, and see, Zuko was a traitor. Zuko was nothing. you treated Zuko terribly because Zuko wasn't yours. but i am. i am your daughter. i am your prodigy. i am your princess. i am your heir. how dare you treat me like him. like nothing. how dare you.

i also believe that this was the true final blow that sent her spiraling into her downfall. she's extremely vulnerable here: her two most trusted friends and allies have just betrayed her, and here it is, another betrayal. where she is usually cool and collected, she is snappy and hot-headed, here.

his betrayal is quickly and immediately rectified when he informs her she will become the new Firelord. see, she's not like Zuko. Zuko is banished with no crown and no legacy. she is different. she is her father's child. Zuko is her mother's. she gets the throne. he gets nothing.

but Mai still chose Zuko. and she was absolutely furious, of course, but even this she could still handle. it's what happens after that she can't.

The thing I don't understand is why. Why would you do it?

why would you choose him? why would you choose Zuko? only one person ever chose Zuko: Mother. but she doesn't matter. she's gone. but why. why. (why do they keep choosing Zuko?)

and then, probably my favorite shot in the entire series:

Ty Lee looks at Mai, then Azula. it's barely a second long, but it speaks volumes. she's making a decision. Mai, or Azula? Mai, or Azula?

throughout our time with Ozai's Angels, it's obvious that Ty Lee is Azula's right hand woman. she goes with her everywhere. even in this scene, Ty Lee is right next to Azula the whole time.

and Mai chose Zuko. Mai chose Zuko. she says that "I love Zuko more than I love you" and she should've loved her more, and so now Azula is going to kill her. she's about to summon her lightning, and—

so Ty Lee chose Mai. and Mai chose Zuko. and her mother chose Zuko. and Azula chose her father and her nation and her ambition, and she thought her father chose her, and he did, he did.

thing about Azula: she loves. she loves Zuko, and she loves Ty Lee, and she loves Mai. but she doesn't prioritize her love the way Zuko does. her love comes last. her father comes before her love. before her father, her nation. but before all of that, her ambition.

for her ambition to ever come to fruition, she needs fear, doesn't she?

and Zuko fears her.

so she wins. right?

wrong.

she loses.

she gave up everything, absolutely everything, and she. still. loses. to fucking Zuko.

he won their mother's love. he won Mai. he, indirectly, won Ty Lee. and now he won the crown, her crown.

Azula, born lucky, born a prodigy, never wins.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

avery and libby head canons

omg i literally can't stop posting. pls stop me it's an addiction.

avery and libby rewatch gilmore girls every fall bc it used to be avery's mom's favorite show

after avery's mom died, they both dyed their hair purple (i made a post about this) libby's head was fully purple and avery dyed the bottom half of her hair purple (idrk how to explain).

they love to complain with to each other about their bfs shenanigans

before avery inherited the money, they used to go out and drive around silently. that's how they would relax/decompress

they watched the first seasons of greys anatomy (the ones that were actually good) when they had nothing to do.

avery and libby go on monthly trips together (might just be somewhere in the us, or in europe like greece)

after libby's honeymoon, avery and her celebrated her new beginning by going to spain or smth (just the two of them) (nash did the same thing with his brothers)

they both have plenty of embarrasing stories about one another, so when one does smth that pisses the other off, the other will go tell one of those stories to the brothers.

during the eras tour, avery and libby (and literally all the hawthornes and rebecca) sang and cried to tolerate it (they all somehow relate to it; avery and libby with their dad, the hawthornes with their dads etc)

they really enjoyed the lover set

one of their surprise songs was clean and libby got really emotional so avery and her just sat there hugging.

they vibed so hard to midnights

when avery was younger, she used to love love story cause she wished someday she would have her own romeo. she was so obsessed with the song that she literally had a love story inspired birthday. when love story came on during the eras tour libby teased her so hard (avery was a hopeless romantic when she was younger but then realized how shitty the world was and lost hope in ever finding love)

avery and her mom used to love easter cause they both loved chocolate. whenever easter comes around, libby makes sure to buy avery a hug basket of chocolates that they eat together whilst talking shit about people.

bc they were so poor before, they never really got to buy each other birthday/christmas gifts, so, now that avery has money, they always spend thousands of dollars on each other

libby hates valentine's day bc of drake so she doesn't really like going on dates with nash on that day (they go either before or after, they have their own day that nash calls valentines (nash's version)) so avery always brings her out to shop. they then proceed to trash talk drake and other people. one year they even ended up getting drunk, and jamie and nash were so surprised cause they aren't the type of people to get drunk.

avery used to have a roblox bf when she was like 7-8, so libby always teases her about him (he actually ended up being like a 40 year old predator).

libby and her both love shoes so they always go out shoe shopping. grayson sometimes tags along cause he loves fashion.

thats it for now. i actually didn't expect to have so many ideas for them and might make a part two. avery and libby have such a great bond. i wish we saw more of them during the og trilogy. (again sorry for any spelling mistakes, i'm to lazy to proof read this)

[stylezxsilvermoon]

mila's summer watches review list (ft...hot ass actors)

hey everyone i've been watching a hella lot of movies with hot men in it (hence the pictures) and i wanted to do a review or wrap up list, because this summer i've watched an unbelievable amount of movies and shows this summer (like may to august) so yeah why not make a list! and maybe rate some of them!

(not in chronological order at all)

hayden christensen

factory girl

shatterd glass

life as a house

virgin territory

little italy

vanishing on 7th street

awake

takers

higher ground (show)

american heist

little italy

hayden christensen faves:

i might be a bit bias (i am) (denial) but i really did semi-like everything hayden was in, although some of it was a bit weird. but my faves that you should SO WATCH is life as a house (2001) i just rewatched it for the 4th time and its just such a classic coming-of-age 2000's movie about this edgy teen that has separated parents and his dad takes him for the summer, and its just a whole thing you have to watch it.

also not to mention higher ground (show) its about these teens that are troubled and end up at a summer camp for abuse survivors and druggies and it just goes so in depth about serious topics and i just love it so much, there's a tiny bit of drama but it's not so over the top its unbelievable, and its realistic too.

tom sturridge:

the boat that rocked/ pirate radio (uk version vs us version lol)

on the road

like minds/ murderous intent

sweetbitter (show)

3 way junction

waiting for forever

effie gray

tom sturridge faves:

literally just the boat that rocked/pirate radio (2009), its so good, its about these middle aged men who start an illegal radio channel on a boat, and the godson of one of them is tom sturridge's character and it takes off from there, also set in the 60s...and made in 2009...so ehem...ya know...

but still really good! fun fact this was the first tom sturridge movie i watched and it's still my fave! also another fun fact you can literally find all of waiting for forever full movie on youtube uploaded by some random person here (not a rick roll, literally the full movie no joke)

mike faist:

(not that many since i just got into him but he still makes the list lol)

panic (show)

west side story

challengers

the atlantic city story

i can i will i did

mike faist faves:

ok so we probably all know challengers is gonna sweep right..right? yeah but actually WRONG it was panic (2021) but challengers (2024) is a close 2nd for me, the reason being i did not get it at all first watch, but i watched some movie reviews on it and watched the interviews with the cast and i actually was like wow this is deeper than i thought (mainly bc i just hated tashi the whole movie) lol blame my probably ocd high morality and anxiety that was PROBABLY flaring while watching it but its just! a character! so we can look at it from a regular standpoint

but yeah, panic just had me on the edge of my seat the ENTIRE time and it was such a good show, im sad it got cancelled but what I saw of it was SOSOSO good I'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure

and yeah to wrap this post up I just wanna say all 3 of these men are insanely talented and I'm looking forward to watching all of their movies and shows...and out of all of them in total I'd say my favorite one is probably life as a house (2001) and it just captured those summer vibes for me and it was one of the (1st? I think) movies I watched of hayden's that started this ENTIRE thing, this monstrosity of me foaming at the mouth for these fine ass men and posting about it several times lmfao

and btw moots! And ppl who I don't follow or don't follow me feel free to talk about any of these that were mentioned because they were all a joy to watch some more than others obviously

other things i watched that aren't hayden/tom/mike related:

black clover

young justice

and bro black clover (anime) is SO good literally my favorite show of 2024 if you haven't watched it you need to show-wise is my favorite rn and blows these out of the water in enjoyment but that's just bc I watched it literally since like may 2024 @blackclovershowrunners SEASON 5 NEOWWW!!!?? I DONT WANT ANOTHER DANG MOVIE I WANT SEASON 5 (take ur time tho so it's good)

also for fun, here's a poll:

[littlespoonevan]

Hi, can I please ask for some of the essays about the cemetery talk and what we were supposed to take away from that scene? If you feel inclined, that is 💕

well i don't know if i can write an essay exactly bc tbh i still don't know for certain what we're supposed to take away from that scene. but i do know the tone of it was completely different to anything we've ever seen for buddie before and it also lasted so much longer than most of their scenes have before??? like i just went back to rewatch it to refresh my memory and it's 3 minutes???? that is an incredibly long scene for two characters to have in an ensemble show when they're literally just talking and it's not strictly moving the plot forward

but to try and break it down a bit:

i find it fascinating the way eddie reacts to buck talking about natalia. that weary, almost irritated, "really?" when buck admits he'd met up with her followed by the "dating somebody you rescued, you know what never ends well." it's So Different to the snarky way he used to react to taylor. like when he'd make comments about taylor you knew he was mostly joking or at worst, just being a little bitchy. but he sounds genuinely frustrated when buck brings up natalia. the closest thing i can compare it to is that it's a more muted version of "his fiance's abby" and we know eddie knew how deeply buck was affected by losing abby so it feels a bit like eddie is potentially annoyed bc he knows buck will probably get hurt again???

then you have buck saying the whole "i think she sees me" bit which echoes so much of buck's overarching storyline and his struggle with love in the past. and i know some people call this eddie's 'oh' moment but i definitely don't consider it an "oh i'm in love with him" moment. i feel like it's more of an "oh he doesn't see that i see him too" moment, if that makes sense?? and i think there probably is a bit of frustration with that for eddie given that the will scene is eddie as loudly and demonstratively as he can saying "i see you" y'know? nevermind all the little ways he proves he knows buck

and tbh i think my favourite part of the scene is actually the last 60 seconds because first you have eddie saying "you haven't been the same since it happened, but then again how could you be?" and it's just!!! 1) it's literally him proving he does see buck and probably knows him better than anyone else and 2) there's a very subtle hint of realisation in his voice when eddie says "how could you be" as if he's been convincing himself buck is fine this entire time (maybe post-couch nap) only for him to now realise buck really, really isn't.

tHEN he says "you don't have to be anything for anybody" and it might be my favourite words to ever come out of his mouth tbh because it's just once again emphasising the gentle way eddie lets buck be?????????? "i had to do it" "i know you did", "you knew i wouldn't" "i knew you wouldn't". eddie is So Good at offering buck a reprieve whenever he needs one and he's usually the person best able to break through all the noise in buck's head to make him understand that he's fine just existing as himself.

aND THEN eddie makes the comment about how going through near death experiences change a person and all i can think about is how after eddie's near death experience he made the decision to tell buck about his will after keeping it a secret for a year and how he never actually answered buck's question about why he kept it a secret in the first place and i have to ask, eddie diaz what changed in you???????????

combine all of that with the fact their outfits mirror what they wore in 5x14 and the absolute irony of eddie saying dating someone on a call never works out only for him to pursue marisol two eps later and just- i don't know if they pivoted bc there was a fear season 6 would be the end of the series or if the last few eps were always supposed to go the way they did but this scene in 6x15 raises so many questions and i feel like i don't have the answers to any of them skjahd

[softpinkprincipessa]

Fantasy Couples that give Elriel vibes Part 1:

Robin Hood and Marian - Robin Hood: The Prince of Thieves (1991)

Side note: This is part 1 of a series that I plan to continue with each post featuring a different couple all relating to Elriel (I might also do some Feysand and Nessian posts too bc it’s just too tempting) so I want to be clear that these posts will be focused more on the vibes, energy, chemistry etc. of the couples I choose, not necessarily the actual story and arc of the movie. That being said though, there are going to be couples (I have a list), that I feel mirror or relate more to Elriel in terms of story and relationship progression than others, and I may include that in my posts going forward.

Starting off with Marian and Robin, I think it’s pretty obvious why I chose them. Oh and please take note that I am being specific about which Marian and Robin I am choosing (although I may love them, I am not talking about the foxes and Russel Crowe does not live here). If you have not scene this particular movie iteration then please find it and enjoy and all I’ll say is that Alan Rickman is the actual star of the show and has beef with Christmas.

Back to Marian and Robin, This scene alone SCREAMS the Elriel rescue scene with Marian and Elain both quoting the timeless perfection: “You came for me.”

Other than that this couple is your staple fantasy duo (sh*t does Robin Hood even count as fantasy??) complete with all the goodness and HEA that comes with it. Marian and Robin don’t really parallel Elriel in much else but I will reaffirm that this one scene was enough for a post because of its pure devotion, willing to die for you, damsel -in-distress vibes (that everyone loves to hate but I think if done right, is so f*cking romantic).

I also do believe in my heart of hearts that Azriel would die for Elain. He may not have said it outright (yet) like Robin here, but by God I believe he was thinking it.

Love this film, love this couple and I squealed gleefully during my rewatch of this movie and this scene because it reminded me so much of Elain and Azriel.

Final side note: these are my own personal thoughts and feelings (I of course don’t own any characters or stories mentioned) so if anyone agrees or disagrees it is all totally valid and I welcome and cherish intelligible comments and opinions. My only plea is for no hate.

[chirpsythismorning]

Hi.what make you believe byler is endgame and how do you think The Duffer will make them endgame?

There's a lot of different factors for why I believe byler is endgame. If it was only one or two or three or a single digit amount of things, then I'd probably be more skeptical. Instead it's so many things that I don't think I can even quantify with any number?

Long post ahead so queue for later if you must!

I used to ship milkvan back in the day, and that's probably because I watched the show once and fell for the whole boy meets girl trope as peak romance, without even thinking about it? Like my first time rewatching the show pre-s3, I remember only focusing on their scenes and even going as far as to skip entire episodes in s2 without them in it, so it's really no wonder I missed details that might have helped me understand the full picture.

I also don't get queer-baited, like ever. I have watched shows like Teen Wolf where fans loved sterek, and even though that show had a gay show-runner, it was obvious to me they were never going that route, despite kind of feeding fans over the years with banter between them. The problem was the details weren't pointing to them being endgame, they were pointing to stydia. With stydia, they were using color coding in their costumes and had the fucking red string of fate in the frame with them multiple times and they were having entire plot lines built up around sort of their feelings for each other. Then there's all the other shows out there like Supernatural and Sherlock, and to me, it just felt like two guys that had chemistry that fans read as romantic and were having fun with it, only for the writers to try to profit off of that hope fans had, just sort of fucking with fans for years without really going for it literally in the text of the story.

And even if they did (albeit extremely subtly) that's when you would see shows tend to kill off the characters. Because after years of queer-baiting, the only solution is to kill at least one off, after tricking a sector of your audience for so long. Because unfortunately, no, they're not going to end up together, so we just have to get rid of one of them to make it clear that it won't happen.

While I don't vividly remember the moment I dropped Milkvan and picked up byler, I do remember watching s3 for the first time and feeling like something was off. And then to humor my confusion, I went online and came across an analysis for the end of s3. Even though it did really made me think like 'woah.. what was that?', in the moment, I was still in a position to not want to fall for it because of all the queer-baiting out there. I'd never fallen for it before and I wasn't going to start now basically.

And then I didn't read any more theories after that, I just basically jumped into rewatching the show for fun again, without really thinking about it even, and without skipping this time. And I vividly remember the shed scene definitely had some romantic undertones going on. When the camera was focused on Mike talking to Will, we didn't get any reaction shots in between of Joyce and Jonathan. Whereas when Joyce and Jonathan talked to Will, we got Mike's reaction and both Jonathan and Joyce's kind of reactions to each others speeches in that moment, which was to obviously convey the familial bond going on. And so in contrast, seeing Mike's monologue to Will be isolated, without any cuts to the others reactions during, with intense close-ups of Mike and Will, with Mike literally having one by one teardrops falling down his face and him repeating softly you said yes, you said yes... That... Like it made me really start to consider it in that moment, based on my new potential understanding of the end of s3 and based on what I had found upon rewatching that time.

Even still though, I didn't let myself believe it. And maybe in large part it was bc I did like the idea of byler I guess? And so that made me want to be more cautious? Other times when I came across fans shipping queer pairings that weren't canon, it felt like harmless shipping to me, where like I got the appeal, but didn't like feel genuine intentional slow-burn chemistry? It was always a thing that at most I liked merely as fanon. And so I guess I was trying to prepare myself for that inevitable disappointment that it wasn't going to go any further than what it had?

Maybe it was also because I was holding onto this idea of milkvan I had at the beginning? An idea that in large part contributed to my ability to get hooked with the show in the first place? Boy meets girl is like the most universal trope in our society and it was easy to just go along with it when everyone else was.

But more than anything I do think it was because I thought it just had to be queer-bait like it's always has been. At best I thought maybe it would continue very vaguely in the subtext in s4, with like 1 or two scenes at most hinting at attraction? But we all know that's not what happened..

S4 promo dropped, and I remember being like well here goes. It had been over a year, almost two since I'd been exposed to the possiblity of byler, though I was going into it prepared to see Mike and El being perfectly in love and that they were just going to act like nothing had ever happened between Mike and Will.

But then that Cali poster dropped. And that had me reeling. I remember sending a text to my sister like 'QUEER-BAIT?' and she was like yep queer-bait. But that's also because she's in the mindset of someone that hasn't seen anything outside of watching the show, and while half paying attention at that. This is the first piece of evidence she is being presented with and so of course she is viewing it from a don't hope or assume that could ever happen bc it never happens lens.

Even that I took as maybe a reality check, that this meant nothing, but also at the same time, this is the Duffer Brothers? They're smart? Why would they apply the if boy is pointing his feet at you he is in love with you rule via New Girl, with Mike and Will in the Cali poster, for shits and giggles? When the whole point in those posters is to hide foreshadowing?

Regardless of how much it genuinely shocked me they were appearing to really play with this concept of Mike having romantic feelings for Will, I still didn't fully let myself think about it too much...

And then as s4 got closer and more stuff dropped and there was like a lot of promo hinting Will having feelings for Mike, that's when it really kicked in for me. And that's when I went back and rewatched and holy shit it suddenly became clear as fucking day. My excitement for Vol. 1 was insurmountable because I was just about to have all of these recent built up theories confirmed or denied.

When Vol. 1 finally premiered and it turned out Mike couldn't say I love you to El? And Will very clearly had feelings for Mike, staring at him constantly when he wasn't looking and conveniently with Mike's POV missing by comparison? There was just too much at play that perfectly set-up byler.

Mike having a hard time telling El he loves her, while also having a best friend beside him who is in love with him, like, that's sort of what makes it clear that this is them trying to create a conflict that easily transitions into this revelation that the reason why Mike couldn't commit to El was because he was struggling over repressed feelings for his best friend.

And then that doesn't even include all the details along the way that support it. Like closet scenes for example weren't able to be harmless anymore post-s3, they just weren't. That scene at the end with El and Mike in Will's room established this idea that Mike is in the closet, and s4 did not let up on that idea whatsoever.

We were being bombarded with very basic film techniques that any filmmaker would be thinking about to establish the story and setting and create a feeling to convey a message through all of that.

They did not need to have Mike sitting in front of his closet at the very start of s4. They did not have to have a one way sign pointing to it. They did not have to have two dudes with muscles on his walls while most of the other guys either have stuff completely unrelated to the human form or bikini clad woman. They did not have to show Mike in focus more while staring at Eddie fondly as he talks about DnD and getting out of Hawkins. They did not have to have Mike go searching for DnD replacements in the wrestling room and the art room followed by saying, I hate high school.

The I hate high school line is viewed by most of us as a throw away comedic sort of line. But it really isn't. In fact it's arguably as deep as without heart we'd all fall apart, which is why they literally had that be Mike's quote alongside that one being Will's quote for the season.

Mind you, all of this shit in 4x01 is happening after Mike just episodes ago, in the previous season, sort of treated playing DnD like it was something kids did and told Will he felt this way, by essentially saying he assumed they'd be getting girlfriends and moving on from this idea that they can play games for the rest of their lives.

So Mike in s3 went from I want to grow up and have a girlfriend and stop playing dnd bc it is childish, to in s4 Do you want to play with me? I will literally settle for an absolute stranger rn, literally anyone? No? Uh. I hate high school aka I don't want to grow up. Now he thinks that he's the childish one when really, it doesn't have to be, if he just opened his mind to it.

Watching s3-4 back to back is actually so real bc it's showcasing Mike's complete shift, a shift that basically got flipped from s1-2 to s3 to s3 to s4, and it's directly related to his relationship with El and Will (along with his parents who all of s2 punished him by taking away his toys when he acted out bc of trauma/called his toys hunks of plastic and to essentially be used as collateral bc he's going to need to grow up eventually anyways). And we see how that is conveyed when he shows up to Cali unlike his true self, he just reverts right back to trying to be someone else like in s3. Only now he's trying to pull off a Cali look on-top of it, wearing sunglasses as he mumbles an incoherent sound, something like, 'eahauw' as he rushes up to kiss and hug El, putting the flowers between them so he had an excuse to separate sooner than later, followed actually voicing words to will, moving his duffel back out of the way to hug will properly, w/out sunglasses, visibly very happy to see Will, only to not even be able to hug him by cutting it short. AND for Argyle to confirm our suspicions by calling him a knock off?? NOW I'M REALIZING IT'S TOO MUCH YELLOW? Come on!?

That's another thing, the end of s3 hug between Will and Mike literally ends with Mike looking like he is in physical pain. Like dude looks like he was burned. He looks like a mixture of angry and heartbroken. And so having that, followed up with Mike barely even being able to properly hug Will properly 2 episodes later..? Gee I wonder why?

And then it just spirals from there.

The entire season Mike is by definition emotionally cheating on El, assuming that they are even technically still together atp. There's a reason they had her say From El, and it's so that there was this sense of maybe they were technically broken up now or even just on a break rn, since they wouldn't see each other for who knows how long? Maybe never again? And so that was a writing choice made in large part to allow all of these moments between Mike and Will throughout the season to feel romantic coded and for us to comfortably view them as such. Same with how they did that with Jonathan and Nancy in s2. They create conflict that is near breakup territory, without outright saying I want to break up, and then they throw them with their other love interest and create tension.

When it comes to like how I think s5 could go down with byler, I have a few different thoughts about how that would play out. Obviously I love byler but there's a lot of other stuff going on so this would just be one aspect of the greater overall story. But for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on Byler possibilities.

Them holding off until Vol. 2, literally 2 weeks exactly after the premiere, to have Noah officially release a statement saying We now know Will is 100% gay and in love with Mike, that is them clearly knowing the gravity of revealing stuff too soon to an audience that might not be ready for it. They saw the reaction to s4 and they waited and then they made that choice to discuss it the way they did. That was the point they decided they were willing to tell the truth of the situation, including Noah admitting for the first time, that they've been hinting at Will's feelings since s1, and so he had to always be vague about things to avoid spoiling the Duffers surprise. And while they're doing this, when they talk about Mike's feelings about the situation, it is always that he has absolutely no idea.

There would be no justifiable reason to hold off on admitting Will's feelings for Mike outside of canon, only to admit they've been hinting at it since s1, if there wasn't actually something yet to see be revealed, making this revelation so late in the game, justifiable.

The main thing that we get from Mike being oblivious of Will's feelings, is that if Mike doesn't know, then technically he hasn't rejected Will yet. Because how can he have rejected Will if he has no idea? Answer, he can't!

And so now there is one season left and they are choosing to hold off on Mike's knowledge about Will's feelings? After they just finally admitted after 4 seasons that they've been avoiding telling us about Will's feelings, despite hints from the beginning because they didn't want to ruin the surprise?

What surprise though bro? Slow-burn unrequited love??? There isn't any such thing. Because that wouldn't be satisfying!

It takes us right back to the line Will makes in s3 (mid-series) to Joyce about how he's never gonna fall in love. It's not that he doesn't want to or even hasn't yet at all, it's that he doesn't believe experiencing mutual love with the person he has feelings for is in the cards for him, bc odds are, that person is going to be straight.

But... How is it satisfying to hold off on even admitting Will's feelings for Mike until the second to last season, only to hold off on Mike's POV of the situation until the last season, just to say at the last minute, Well, Will, you were right!...? Like, no.

And so I genuinely think the same thing they did with Will is happening to Mike in a sense, in that by sort of dancing around the situation with answers that don't even allow you to answer the question, by saying Mike is clueless, they can avoid delving into what exactly Mike would think. They can just say Oh of course he will accept Will and leave it at that.

The thing is, if I'm supposed to be rooting for Mike and El, these choices that they've been making, to practically infect all of their scenes with Will in the frame looking like a kicked puppy, it's not giving endgame, it's giving I should be praying for this kid to get a happy ending who is fully convinced that he won't get it.

The main question I have, is are they going to hold off the slow-burn for as long as they can, or are they going to do something unprecedented and make it happen sooner than anyone expects?

I guess for now I think that it's the most likely they will hold off until 5x07 for like the big obvious endgame moment? Slow-burn tends to thrive in it's true form, aka slow-burn until the very end. So it would make sense to have these barriers in place that prevent Mike and Will from truly realizing they have mutual feelings or something of that nature, and then acting on it. That doesn't mean the audience wouldn't be clued in on those feelings earlier in the season, but I think them both accepting those feelings and coming together and choosing to be together is something that won't be like established fully until the end.

THOUGH I will say there is one scenario I could see them manage to have Mike and Will realize those feelings sooner than we think and it's because of the satanic allegations... If Will and Mike were to ever get caught in a precarious situation, by someone in the town already accusing these kids of being the cause, specifically Mike as a member of Hellfire and specifically Will as the kid who has been connected to all of this, it would be sort of visceral seeing how that could play out with them being viewed as like a symbolic indicator of the incoming apocalypse.

Though then again, they still might not get together until like episode 7, bc with the last couple episodes being like 2 hours long, it's possible the homophobic/satanic aspect of it could come into play around then. I think it would be really critical to see other peoples reactions in the story to them getting together, including their family and friends, but also potentially the community bc that would go full circle with what went down in s1 and how like the whole community had an opinion about Will's sexuality even as a kid.

Early s5 is a big indicator of how everything will go down though. I don't think that they'll get separated and be apart the whole season, bc they made a point to convey in s4 that they want to make sure to give the audience a lot of groundwork to root for them and so I think s5 has to be much of the same for it to end in a way that has most of the audience full-on rooting for them and just screaming at their screen for them to kiss already.

However, I do think it's possible we could see them get separated for like 1 episode, maybe 2 but probably not 2 full episodes, I think the reunion would happen sometime at the end of 1 or 2 episodes.

I think Will is likely going to be targeted by Vecna, arguably already was at the end of s4, and then there's birthdaygate to address. Maybe he gets forgotten by everyone as a result of the memory/time trickery that Vecna has going on. And so we could see that play a role in them being separate for a bit while that is resolved, which would likely be early s5, to sort of mirror early s1. But then I think they would reunite by like the 3rd episode and work together most of the season as a team. And we will probably be aware of Mike's feelings in these moments because we would've just presumably gotten a bunch of parallels to s1 and considering Mike and El are broken up, it's going to be difficult to see Mike be so up in arms about Will after all of that romantic subtext, only to be with him and be looking at him like he hung the stars and shit. Even if Will isn't doing the same bc he's like convinced himself at this point Mike doesn't like him back, that would just make it even more clear bc it would be them finally showing us Mike's POV, after hiding it so much in s3-4. It would also sort of wake up those fans who had insisted Mike couldn't feel the same bc there would be no reason to do all of that for nothing.

Another way I could see it going down is by Mike basically somehow making 'a deal with god' (Vecna) that takes him instead. Maybe it's about saving Will who is trying to sacrafice himself already. Or maybe it's a way to save Max and it's sort of a last minute thing that is intended to cause them a lot of grief. Bc we know Vecna loves fucking with them. This would fit into the whole without heart we'd all fall apart, and the whole how am I gonna survive a whole week w/out you guys and Mike getting out in the DND game at the start of s4, along with like the whole theory about how if a paladin breaks an oath they basically have to go on a mini self discovery journey and can essentially be reinstated and forgiven by a cleric (Will). That would fit very very well into the imagery we got of Mike sitting down on Jonthan's bed with the upside down tapestry behind him, followed by Will sitting down beside him + Mike sitting down on the upside down couch at the cabin, followed by Will sitting down beside him. Meaning basically Mike would end up in the upside down and Will would follow behind him.

And I think in that scenario we might be seeing some things from Mike's POV that we have overlooked before, or maybe even things they have deliberately kept from us for the sake of saving it for later. Maybe that unused footage of him crying biking home after they found Will's body, or maybe they re-contextualize the cliff scene in a way that sort of frames Mike as feeling like he deserved to die that day bc after everything that happened with El, maybe he doesn't feel like he deserved to be saved by her, like Vecna just overwhelms him with the guilt that's been piling up for years, which led him to that failed monologue.

Also I think there is a very specific reason they chose to not use the song Time After Time in Max's memory of the Snow Ball in s4, and that's because they're saving it for s5. Every Breath You Take was regarded by most the fandom as a Milkvan song, and if anything it fit with all of them dancing more than it did specifically with Max's memory from that day. So them bringing that back for s4 felt like a combination of the Vecna foreshadowing and also them refusing to use Time After Time quite yet... Time After Time started playing right when Lucas asked her to dance, they easily could have used that song instead and left Every Breath You Take for s5 for a milkvan montage, hell Time After Time even would have fit well with the whole clock theme going on in s4.

But, I genuinely think it's because they're holding off on fully, in canon, re-contextualizing our understanding of that Snow Ball scene when it comes to Mike and Will's perspective of it. And how that song would fit into that revelation is a little to perfect to pass up, again on a show that has made a big deal about clocks and also has connected Will/Mike to the clock in Starcourt with the Yellow and Blue hands ie you say go slow I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds is fucking clock coded bro???

They are 100% saving that clock ass song for the end and that just tells me byler has to be endgame bc that song literally ended right before El entered the gym, it has no association to them, only to either Lucas/Max, Dustin/Nancy, or Mike/Will. That's it.

And so arguably the build up of Mike and Will is the only way to satisfyingly bring that song back full circle.

I guess I'll keep it simple and say that I think one of them are going to go missing/dissapear/be taken (something along those lines) early s5, and the other is going to find them and they're going to be a team basically. I think there could be 1-2 episodes of them alone sort of in the pits of the UD (Hell vibes). Maybe there's an almost kiss in those moments, or maybe even an official one bc them being alone finally is what grants them the courage to do what they haven't been able to do in the real world without the fears of the real world stopping them?

Though I do think that they will reunite with the others after 1-2 episodes alone. And so most of the season will be them teamed up with the og party and also having interactions with other characters along the way as well.

I do think a Murray/Byler confrontation is inevitable. I do think a Will & Robin confrontation is inevitable. I do think it's possible Mike could be exposed to the idea of having a gf then a bf (and vs) by Vickie in the case that Mike finds out bisexuality is real and an option. Bc tbh it's still something people today don't know about. So I don't think Mike Wheeler in 1986 Hawkins, Indiana would, though again maybe an interaction with Vickie could change that. Either that or Robin, Vickie and Steve are going to see Mike call Fast Times overrated and they're all going to share a look and that's when we'll know...

I do think that Will is going to have a hard time believing Mike could feel the same, even when presented with evidence? Not only does he have his insecurities in the way, but he also views El as his sister now (hell she might even actually turn out to be his twin). Even though Mike is his best friend, he's going to want it to be crystal clear that El supports it before Mike ends up being in their family via them being partners at some point. That's just who Will is as a character. He's just going to assume he is wrong for wanting that considering everything that has led up to this point.

And i think El is the kind of character that, no, she wont be like ecstatic about how this all played out and how she didn't need to get her heartbroken, but I don't think that feeling will last forever. I think they might have a little sibling talk about lying, assuming she finds out about the painting and what he said to Mike about her commissioning it. That would be a good parallel to her and Will at Rink-O-Mania when he chastised her for lying to Mike? Essentially an Oh how the turntables moment? Even so, when it's all said and done, she's going to make it clear to Will that she supports him fully.

And I think the same applies to Mike who also is going to want closure that they are okay and still friends and love each other as friends/family.

I think how all of this plays out would be very intricate, yes, but largely keeping in mind that they want us to like this ending and not be bitter about it, and so they're going to have to convince us that we want to fully let go of Mike and El and to root for Mike and Will.

This so called love triangle doesn't have equal stakes to the stancy/jancy one because we're dealing with an audience that has been completely left in the dark, now being bombarded. They have to try really hard to convince the audience to be on board with this, and also avoid homophobia in the process. They're going to have to make it very, very clear there are no more romantic feelings for Mike and El happening. Especially since we're ending the show with them in a sibling dynamic because of their relationships with Will. It would be gross to have this level of well maybe one day he could change his mind I mean he did that once before. Nope. It would be okay to have that sort of left unanswered with the stancy/jancy parallels bc we're not dealing with people being related to each other and swapping back and forth. That's why it needs to be clear in their situation.

And I do think that's why they did the whole I love you 9 times with Mike's monologue. Because it can't go up from there, there is nothing left for them to do after going all out like that, only to reveal Mike meant it deep down platonically? I mean what could they possibly do to backtrack? Have him give her another love confession where he says it 20x and adds no but fr this time?? No. They had to go all out like that to give those viewers what they wanted, the most they could possibly get and then say, sorry it's not happening. It essentially made it impossible to hope for it bc there's nothing left to hope for.

When it comes to byler and like these major moments that are bound to occur between them, I am genuinely most looking forward to them hugging again for the first time since the end of s3. That to me is going to be even more exciting than a kiss honestly (not saying I don't want a kiss but you know what I mean). And it's bc from a hug alone, I think we'll be able to tell that what's going on between them isn't platonic and that will in turn add so many layers to past seasons. I think it's also likely we'll get an almost kiss or two before the inevitable, and that would then make the slow-burn stretching until the end worth it, to me at least? Because just throwing them together never works when the formula has always been to hold off.

And that's also why the show has to end now. We can't have 6,8, 10 seasons of slow-burn, it would be exhausting. 5 seasons is the perfect amount. And having all of that angst and tension and heartache lead to a happy ending is going to make all of those moments in between that fans fought over for being critical of, sort of just dwindle to epic angst that was necessary to appreciate the happy ending.

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

CME 17x01 Spoilers/Thoughts

(Yes I know I’m late on posting it but I did watch it on the premiere time 😭 and did a rewatch)

Also for those who haven’t seen the premiere, trigger warnings for suicide (at around 33:00-35:00), enucleation (surgical procedure on eyes). and mention/aftermath of tongue-cutting.

Guy (identified as Don Bertoli) comes into police station with his dead wife in his arms. This was from the trailer and he got on his knees, in trauma and shock.

Oh my god, it's enucleation ughhhhh!! I can't do that. I can't do anything with eyes

Emily going to meeting with the officers alone. Oh god I can already tell this is her pushing herself into work bc of Bailey’s death in 16x10 :(

Penelope’s birthday!! 🥳🧁📖 (there’s a reason I used these 3 emojis specifically 🤭) the whole team minus Emily is there.

Omg what just happened??

“Queef lessons” is something I never thought I would hear from this show omg

OHH Luke just… that was his turn, the queef lessons

Ok I actually have no idea what they’re playing, but it’s “To whom it may concern…”

Rossi: “the department of old man woodies and will no longer participate with dat ass”

JJ looks so comfy in her sweater 🥰 I love her so much

Rossi having hallucinations of Voit

The 3 emojis I just used earlier were in Tyler’s text to Garcia, and ugh the awkward exchange with Luke. He did not need to know about the book thing Penelope!

Not Garcia overthinking the text 😭

Omg omg Jara moment!!

JJ sitting on the counter and drying the dishes, my girl :)

Jennifer Jareau has finally surpassed the TV-14 swearing 🥳🥳 “You know, I always thought that the time we got to be this age, all the bullshit would go away.”

And she says it so naturally too! (Just waiting on her saying fuck later haha) I feel more content now that we have JJ cussing multiple times this season 🥰 my girl deserves it

JJ calling Tara “hot” 👀 Jennifer Jareau I know what you are

JJ being supportive 🏳️‍🌈 ally (or is she one of them? 👀)

Will just got called into work and JJ honestly does not seem…. happy? Almost resigned and the way the camera lingers on her after saying that and pouring wine into her glass. (I love willifer but this is concerning me)

JJ immediately changing the subject omg girl. “You heard from Emily? Thought she'd be here tonight.” We just jumped from talking about your husband to talking about your work wife lol

Tara saying that Emily is going through it since Bailey died, then JJ being all sad and sighs before going “wish we could convince her of that.” JJ was so worried for Emily. (Jemily moment in s17 better involve this)

“Definitely not a book” oh Luke

Emily working solo for the night and she texted Tara to meet her

Tara and Emily smoking on the rooftop!! I’m not a huge smoking cigarettes fan but this…. I love it. Emily stress smokes [canon]

Lauren Reynolds callback!!

“In another life, I worked a joint task force on international terrorism” oh Emily 😭. She still considers that part of her as the old (dead) Emily Prentiss.

Gold star bullets reminds Emily of the playing cards troops left on dead terrorists as part of their signature

Tara worrying that Emily might be seeing something she wants to see and protecting the team bc of it

Emily feeling bad she missed Garcia’s party and offering to get her something, oh I love them

The file… DOJ chain of custody - it’s Rebecca that requested!!

Yep!

Well , well, well, Voit. We meet again.

Oh no Rebecca

JJ, Luke and Rossi being the first to be angry about Voit being in the FBI building. That’s pretty valid tbh bc Voit did almost blow up Luke and JJ, and trapped Rossi in a shipping container.

Director of the FBI is…. Agent Phil Coulson of the Agents of SHIELD!

Fuck you Voit. And fuck you, too, Director.

Gold Star is possibly a codenamed person, and they’re leaving secret messages or calling cards. And possibly government trained?

JJ being upset and she isn't hiding it.

Luke and JJ flinching and covering themselves when Rossi threw a mug at the wall :(

Gold Star as possible national security threat??

Tara and Rebecca, oh no.

Oh shit, oh no, Rebecca. I love you girl but you shouldn't have said that.

Rossi hallucinating again

Emily coming in to check on him (like 16x01)

Oh shit. "When was the last time you slept?" "When was the last time you went to mandated trauma therapy?" Damn they're really calling each other out.

JJ and Luke team up! Besties!!!

"If someone pulls a gun on my family, I'd comply" JJ-

Rossi and Emily interviewing Don Bertoli who's still in shock and not speaking.

Ok, there's flashes of enucleation done on his wife and Bertoli ends up killing himself over the guilt.

Emily trying not to cry after witnessing it. She thinks she got another person dead 😭

Not Luke suggesting they bring in Tyler omg. JJ and Tara are also like "nope."

Hahaha Rossi saying Tyler somewhat saved him by going rogue

Garcia's daily affirmations is so cute tho! "My cats are my boyfriends" and "baby girl forever" are my personal faves.

Luke really calling Tyler out, I love him for it

Rebecca givina Tara information on what Voit said to her. I know you two miss each other.

Tyler barging into the room and Penelope saying the same thought we all had "you just interrupted JJ!"

Luke agreed with Penelope and the funniest part is JJ not giving an absolute fuck about it 😂

Tara doing the same and Tyler looking at Penelope like "you didn't call her out"

Rewatching this scene later: "bang-and-burn operations" is part of CIA, which JJ would know something about probably, and her face looked she showed some recognition at Tyler saying that. Rossi says it's possibly sabotage or assassination.

Ok, there is some tongue-cutting involved on the next victim. Nothing super graphic is shown during it, but the aftermath of it is shown with the tongue.

Emily mentally beating herself up again for another dead victim :(

Oh fuck you, Director Coulson. "But he tried to kill me [Rossi]" "but he didn't"

I can't believe this is the person that bumped Emily off the list of candidates for FBI Director.

The team's going to interrogate Voit one by one.

Ohhhh I recognize those shoes..... my girl, my girl, my girl 😩😩

Jennifer fucking Jareau!

JJ saying "let's get started" is giving her 6x18 return with the same walk and the "let's get to work" line. Love the parallels!!

[aprillikesthings]

I am still a little obsessed with this

I had an idea for a Catradora fic like a year ago and ugggh I'd need to rewatch the whole show to do it any justice and I dunno if I have the patience

Anyway have some barely-edited info-dumping I did last March in a tiny discord server for a completely different cartoon ship*:

The other night when I couldn't sleep it occurred to me that there could/should be a very realistic fic out there of catra and adora, after the events of the last season, having a very passionate but over-dramatic relationship for a couple of years, then breaking up and getting back together multiple times before one or both of them decides Actually, we have to break up, for real, we are slowly killing each other over this; and one of them moves away and they both get therapy of some kind and both try dating other people but it just isn't working out (I can absolutely see Adora in a relationship that's perfectly fine and healthy but also boring as fuck, and her just thinking: huh, I guess normal people are supposed to feel like this? but it just feels like it's missing something, but the thing it's missing might just be a lot of arguing and crying and make-up sex, so like, I should just. stop missing that. probably. And Catra ending up in a bunch of short-term things where all of them end with either the other person going dude you are in love with someone else and I can tell or her feeling guilty and breaking it off bc the other person is obviously more into her than vice-versa)

And anyway after like ten years or something they see each other but one or both is still dating someone else and it's like ha ha our younger days were SOMETHING ELSE weren't they, oh did you get therapy oh good me too, I'm glad you're doing well, nice to bump into you :) but they're both internally screaming because yeah those feelings are Still There, fuck fuck fuck

The current partner of whichever of them dumps them bc "you're still in love with your ex" but neither of them say why the dump happened and the dumped one doesn't say anything to the other, which means they hear about it through the grapevine, and their heart goes YOOOOO and their brain goes "I thought we were actually done with this and being Good about it fuck fuck fuck" and theyre both :) still normal to each other :) all the time :)

PINING I love pining hhh lol

But yeah there's, I dunno. A party? with a lot of people? maybe they each have one (1) drink, not even enough to impair them, and the next thing you know they're making out in a closet or something somewhere, and then one or both of them is crying hysterically, and after a lot of talking they're like, I want to try again. But as actual adults who've had time to grow up and have a lot of therapy. So they do, and it's good, and all their friends are like Oh thank god you two are both the stupidest motherfuckers on earth.

Halfway through the first post I realized I am half re-writing one of my fave Sherlock fics but putting it on top of She-Ra characters and adapting it to spop's plot but it'S JUST A GOOD STORy and honestly how it would actually happen

Because they were SO YOUNG in the show and neither of them had ever seen a healthy relationship modeled, ever, by anyone; and they're both heavily traumatized on top of it. And love isn't always be enough to deal with all of that. It's just not.

Me: this would make a good romance novel if we could file off the serial numbers

Also me: it's only interesting to me because it's THESE CHARACTERS like how the fuck would you include the backstory lolol

My dumb brain is like, "look I know spop ended three years ago and also, this is obviously the kind of story that AN ACTUAL ADULT writes, generally speaking; so nobody would read it, but what if you spent a year writing this"

But also half the plot feels like it's lifted from The Speed of Objects in Motion by holyfant (linked above) which is still, easily, one of my top-two Sherlock fics of all time, bc it's just so painfully realistic--they do end up together again at the end, but there's a lot off off-again/on-again and arguing and then a few years they're not together in the meantime

Anyway, re: spop: Fate and destiny are great but real happily ever afters would be so hard with everything that lead up to the end of the series

------------

>:( at myself for being like "oh it would take a year to write this" bc if I had actually done it I would be done by now pfffffft

(*Amedot)

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog 6: analsysising harder

I am having a finals' nightmare week in university, but finally found the time to sit down and relax, so here's to episode 3.

He's so supportive. For all his faults as a father, (like the fact that Joris might not be able to read yet in here, despite seemingly being pretty ready to be taught how to, as was pointed out to me by @dullard during our separate rewatch from this rewatch) the fact that Joris can sell things at the market all by himself at 7yo and knows what a commission is, is actually really cool. Good job, Keke! This once, I will not kill you with hammers.

Do start teaching your son to read/write soon. Please. Please.

ANALYSIS EVENT LEVEL 10 ALARM WEE WOO WEE WOO. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS.

Joris is seven years old. Kerubim was, by his own words, "barely older than him," during his confirmation ceremony at the Orphan Temple. Can we actually ask what Kerubim Crepin was doing, at seven years old, in the orphan temple??

As we know from Dofus Heroes Kerubim comic, he was busy being an orphan, plotting to resurrect his parents, (either adoptive, or step-father and biological-mother. It doesn't really matter !) and being sad, to the point that, as an adult, even while amnesiac, he empathizes greatly with a stray kitten.

Having dreams of not wanting to be lonely, projecting his loneliness onto stray animals... It's the reason why he's afraid of showing people that he's weak and driving them away, and what makes him a compulsive liar, as I've pointed out in the last post. He can't bear being alone.

No wonder, then, that despite being old, and having a decrepit house, he didn't try to find Joris a better home. It would be a betrayal of his own ideals of protecting children from what he went through. It would mean that someone so similar to him would, too, be all alone. And, a bit more selfishly, he does need someone by his side.

I would point out, that Atcham was in the temple, implied to be mistreated, that they are both full brothers who grew up in the same family, and that him and Kerubim didn't have the best relationship even as kids, — with Bashi also disliking Atcham heavily, for unstated reasons, — and how it all might tie into Kerubim also adoptng Joris out of guilt, because he feels like he might end up like Atcham, but I don't have ten hours.

And also bc Atcham doesn't appear often, and I am mostly delusional about this.

Kerubim avoids mentioning Atcham or any of his adventures in Brakmar, so... man just give us anything to work with.

Despite Keke playing it off now, he really didn't have an easy childhood.

For all the times I say he's a bad dad, or that I want to beat him up, it is all in jest. I think he's a very tragic character who was just... never really given a chance to develop a healthy way of interacting with the world.

And for what it's worth, he grew up to be as decent of a person he could have, and did the best he could, at becoming a family with Joris and raising him, as flawed and uneven as it is.

He really just wants this kid to have a good childhood, or an approximation of one, with no violence, loneliness, or fear he went through — and it's all going to be ruined in the movie, isn't it?

It won't stop me from joking about beating him up in the future of this blog, but I wanted to make my stance clear. No non-joking slander of Kerubim in this household. Ever.

I think he was scared shitless of having a deadly quest here, but HAD to pretend he wasn't, for the public. He looks happier now than seconds ago in the queue line, lol.

Low self-esteem can result in seeking attention through being loud and obnoxious, as well as a fear of embarrassment, so, it checks out. Lying is a likely thing for Kerubim to do, and I love and respect him for it.

His immediate reaction to being embarrassed by getting a clothespin, and made fun of, as audience laughs? Double down, baby! Though, his angry facade doesn't last until the end of the line. He's just... looking sadly to the side.

By the way, considering he's only a bit older than seven, the "I've been training for years" is a bit haunting.

Do you know who DOES deserve to get beaten with hammers for real, non-ironically? The god Ecaflip. Can I get an amen?

No wonder, Kerubim coddled Joris and wanted his life to be better! His life sucked!

Of all the things not to lie about, he seemed not to lie about being trained. Doesn't stop him from being beaten up, though...

We have to beat God Ecaflip with hammers. There is no other way.

For all his cockiness, he's so stressed out. His facade is so, so ruined, the second he realizes his plan is not working.

Really, this whole scene puts their relationship together the best. He's a God, holding Kerubim, a 7-9yo orphan, on a tiny string.

His whole life, Ecaflip just belittles him over some random bullshit, makes him hate his brother for being bald, and then gives him a gambling addiction before putting him into a mental asylum to treat it. All of that because he loves him that much.

We have to kill him. There is no other way. I may be a wakfu season 3 hater, but Oropo was right.

Yay, trauma bonding, in its correct definition!

If my whole family died, and a god cared so much about me, he made me the protagonist of various sad cringe stories of overcoming personal adversities mostly caused BY him, I too, would develop some sort of complex to cope. So I get it.

But I feel like, even if Kerubim will never voice it out loud, considering what repercussions may follow, deep down he knows that Ecaflip himself is one of the reasons for his loneliness, and that most of all, he's scared of him.

[philhoffman]

In lieu of a Monday Philm post tonight, I wanted to tell y'all about the long weekend I had in Western New York. I took a very special trip up to Phil's hometown of Rochester, NY, for a special 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny—which ended up being one of the best nights of my life. TL;DR I met his family and got to tell them how much he is loved ❤️

As some of you might know, the Eastman Museum in Rochester is now the permanent home of PSH's statue, and to celebrate, the museum's Dryden Theatre is showing his films all year long. I've been dying to see Phil's hometown and especially the statue since it was unveiled last year and finally made it (many hours and several hundred miles in the rain) up to WNY for a couple days. Y'all I can't even tell you how excited I was just to be in Rochester, like geeking over everything. We visited Fairport, where Phil grew up, and went to a restaurant with a burger named after him (yum), and got his fave kind of donuts at the Wegmans where he worked as a cashier in high school (I told you, geeking HARD). It's such a nice, friendly city and so many little things about Phil clicked just being there.

We went to the Eastman Museum first thing Saturday morning to see his statue and it's so perfect. Yes I cried a little bit as soon as I walked up to it! I don't need to tell y'all how much Phil means to me and finally seeing this public tribute to him, which looks so good and is so approachable and huggable and real and lovely, was amazing. Passed it four times going in and out of the museum and made my mom take my photo with him every time :-)

That night was the 35mm screening of Owning Mahowny. Already one of my favorite PSH films, I recently finished the book it's based on—No Limit: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Ross—which is just as engrossing and made me even more excited to rewatch the film on the big screen. We were the first people to the theater bc I was so anxious to be there lmao.

I recognized Phil's mother, Marilyn, and his older sister, Jill, who arrived about 20 minutes before the film and sat a few seats away. My anxiety was through the ROOF—I am very shy in person, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say anything and since this was a PSH-related event I figured they probably wouldn't mind if I brought him up. Thanks to Phil I have a hundred times more confidence than I did just a few years ago, so I worked up my courage and went over to introduce myself, tell them my name and how far I came just to see the statue and the film, how much I admire Phil and his work.

Y'all I'm tearing up again just typing this because they were the nicest people I have ever met in my life, seriously. His mom and his sister were immediately so kind that my nerves melted away, it was like talking to friends. They were touched that I'd come so far, they thanked ME for coming over to say hello. I shook their hands and we had a whole conversation for several minutes—I got to tell them that Phil changed my life, how I've seen all of his films, the ways he's inspired me to make my own art. I can't even believe I am writing this because it was so surreal and incredible. They asked me so much about my trip and myself, which is cute because I've heard so many stories about how Phil always asked people about themselves, their lives, their families, their work. His mom asked if I'd seen the statue (of course!!!) and told me to make sure I took a selfie with him :''''') so obviously I took another one when we left <3

Jill and I talked about Owning Mahowny and gambling while my mom talked to Phil's mom (like how is it even real that I'm saying that?), then Marilyn told a funny, sweet story about when Phil was filming Mahowny in Toronto in 2002. One day he called and asked to come home for a while, then drove down and spent the day with her watching hours of dailies of the same exact shot, scrutinizing each take and laboriously trying to decide on the best one—and his mom was like, "Phil, what are we searching for, these all look the same to me" LMAO 😭

The film itself was obviously amazing, no need for a full review here. Equally wonderful to share it with a big audience laughing, cringing, gasping, crying, smiling. The 35mm print looked beautiful. As we were leaving, Phil's sister made a point to catch my eye and thank me again for stopping to say hello! We said goodbye to her and Marilyn and they wished us a great rest of our trip to Niagara Falls the next day—it was so sweet they remembered I'd even mentioned it.

I hardly slept that night I was so excited lol. It's been two days and it still feels surreal. I'm repeating myself but I can't get over how warm and kind they both were, how we were all kind of moved almost to the point of tears talking about their beautiful son and brother, my hero, the artist and man who saved my life and brought us all together. I'm so so so grateful for the opportunity to tell them what Phil means to me. Since then I've had a million thoughts like "oh I wish I'd said this or that," but really it would be impossible to sum up in words, even if we had all the time in the world, everything I want to say. I said it before but it's easy to understand how Phil turned out to be such an amazing person, coming from a family like that.

One of the simplest yet most meaningful couple of days in my whole life. It was better than I could've hoped for. Mostly joy—and while there was some grieving and missing him, too, I know it all came from love. I feel closer to Phil than ever. Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home, Phil. Words are never enough but I love you so much, we're all so proud of you.

[raeflora]

Hi again! I would really love your opinion on something, (since you said that if I ever want you to write meta on something specific I can ask)

Do you think that most D**ir shippers are Dan fans rather than Blair l fans?

I am going forward with the rewatch and I have been reading stuff here andvon other platforms and I have noticed that most D**ir focus on what Dan feels or what Dan does for Blair, ignoring Blair's emotional and mental state at the time

Furthermore they seem to want to rid Blair from all the things that make her Blair (like her ruthlessness and scheming)

Idk... For me Blair wouldn't be Blair without the good and the bad. So it makes me wonder if these people just.... Don't like Blair very much.....

hi!! this is such a good question tysm and this is gonna be long so I hope u don't mind 🫶🏻 I think generally yes d*ir fans do seem to be more fans of dan than they are of blair, and I think there are a few reasons (that I've seen) for this. some of it comes from penn badgley fans as a lot of ppl who discovered him from you on netflix have then watched gg and like dan purely bc it's him. some of it also comes from this rehash of the idea that chuck's "bad" bc of the pilot and ignoring his development, and dan's "good" bc... he's not chuck lol.

ur right in that a lot of them don't want blair to be, well, herself. as I said in my other meta post there's a lot of focus on how blair's "better" when she's with dan. she doesn't scheme, she doesn't do anything, really, except from talk about movies and artists. they think that this watered down version of blair is her true self, even though if u watch the previous 4 and a half seasons it's obvious that's just not true. they want blair to be this girl who's content to spend her days visiting museums and waiting around for dan who she's clearly not. there's nothing wrong with her that dan needs to fix, and chuck didn't corrupt her. she can be interested in art and movies and still scheme and be mean. there's no mutual exclusivity to any of her personality traits, they can all co-exist and are what make her blair. like chuck said in s2 it's stupid to want her to be anything other than what she is.

also, ur so right again in that they ignore blair's mental state. she's obviously not in a good place in s5 and probably shouldn't jump into any relationship after her divorce. but dan pushes her into it. throughout the show she belittles him, insults him, makes fun of serena dating him, and generally just doesn't like him. while they're dating she still doesn't seem that keen on him. there's talk of how she's happier and smiling all the time with dan, but she's not. she effectively throws a tantrum being seen out with him and she can't celebrate his career, she instead undermines and upstages him. her behaviour doesn't seem like someone who's found her perfect match. it seems like someone who's in a confusing transitional period of her life and clings to the nearest man, like she did with carter in s2. if dan was this great perfect man he'd say he couldn't date her right away, let her sort herself out. but no, he forces her to be more than just friends bc, where she's so isolated from everyone else, if she loses him then she loses her only support system (the fact that she becomes so reliant on dan humphrey in the wake of her miscarriage is something for another post) so she kind of has to get into a relationship with him, even though she's not ready mentally.

in terms of liking blair, I think that most d*ir fans like their own version of blair, instead of the canon version. this might be connected to them often preferring dan, and then they just project traits onto blair that aren't hers. I don't know why they don't do this to serena btw, bc her relationship with dan is significantly more important, and she was far more willing to do "ordinary" things with him than blair. ultimately I think they want d*ir, and blair individually, to be something they're not and were never going to be. d*ir isn't sethmer or paceyjoey or whoever else they compare them to. blair isn't someone they can shape into fitting their ideas like dan does, she's her own distinct character and if they don't like her then they should admit it instead of mischaracterising her

[krikeymate]

how do you think danny and sam got closer and in this relationship (?) or situationship or whatever it is

because it definitely wasn’t sam reaching out lol so how do you think danny and sam met and how did danny break down her walls (at least to a degree where she let him touch her)

also what’s your general opinion on danny bc he kinda grew on me but i feel like sam isn’t even that fond of him or maybe she’s just distrustful because of richie idk

I love the word situationship. I didn't care for him on the first watch, but on rewatches, he grew on me. He seems amiable, accepting of whatever Sam has going on and isn't put off by it - he doesn't mind that Sam doesn't want to be public with him, he just accepts what he can get.

Something I do love, and I don't know to what degree this is deliberate or an oversight, but after Anika's death, they're talking and Sam says she doesn't know who she can trust, and Danny tells her "Then don't trust anyone. Not your friends, not me, not anyone." That line stands out to me because he doesn't say don't trust your sister. We know that Danny knows about Tara and about how they've been having fights, from their first interaction. We know that he knows about who she is - although some of that is definitely because everyone knows, but it almost certainly led to a conversation where Sam provided some more details.

I think she considers him as sort of a casual friend - with benefits - but he's not someone she's too attached to. She could leave him behind and not feel guilty about it.

I think they first became aware of each other through glances through the apartment window, Sam checking out shirtless Danny, Danny noticing her and nodding his head and flashing a smile. They pass each other in the hallway sometimes and he likes to greet her. He makes the first move, asks if she wants to get a drink sometime, and Sam, fresh off a fight with Tara, tells him to show her his apartment instead.

So Sam begins to use him as a stress relief and a distraction when things get hard, and he's cool with it, he occasionally asks non-invasive questions or makes suggestions but he doesn't get upset when she says no or leaves. Eventually, she begins to respond to him, and they develop a friendship. He becomes someone she can rant to without feeling judged or having to hide all the details, and trusts he's gonna keep it to himself - if not because he's a decent guy, then because he seems to enjoy sleeping with her.

I think post-6 might have her reevaluating his presence in her life: Tara and the twins know she's been sleeping with him, he's proven himself by trying to help with the Ghostface situation, by caring for her. So, maybe she can let him in and actually let the guy date her. She'll still be wary of betrayal, but she gives him a little more access to her life.

[prettysweetprettysweet]

was anybody else a teenager when Brokeback Mountain came out? god that movie's journey was an exhilarating and terrifying experience for me as a gay kid. i was 14 when it was released. it might as well have been the First Gay Movie Ever. i was obsessed with tracking its progress, from Focus Features optioning the script to Heath and Jake being cast, all the way through to the Oscars. i taped and rewatched the Logo promo special on it dozens of times as well as the Oprah special, and hid the tapes under my bed. i watched every single major awards show. i read commentators opining in award show editorials that the movie wasn't good and the only reason it was getting attention was because it was about gay cowboys. i swelled with pride and a bone-deep gratitude listening to Heath talk about the film and his character. that recent quote that goes around now from Jake reflecting that Heath wouldn't allow people to make fun of it or demean it in any way - I love to see it because he really was so bold and clear about it that I realized it even at 14 years old. he felt like a protector to me.

i realize now i was using it as a barometer to gauge the homophobia around me. i listened in like a fly on the wall whenever people around me talked about it. it was always jokingly and sometimes cruelly. there was a period of time at my school where boys were printing out the promo poster, cutting out photos of other classmates and pasting them onto Heath and Jake's face and then sticking them to lockers. the first time i saw one i was walking down the stairs and glanced up and saw it posted on a bulletin board. it felt like a slap to the face, completely out of nowhere. without even thinking i went from seeing it one fraction of a second to ripping it off the wall the next, and i balled it up and threw it in the trash. i did that with every one I saw (covertly, making a mental note of them during the day and using bathroom trips during classes to take them down).

when i went to see it in theaters (after school i bought a ticket for another movie bc i was underage and then slipped into the theater quietly) i was one of five people in the audience. two of them (a couple) ended up walking out after the sex scene. for the entire duration of the screening this teenage boy showed up every twenty-or-so minutes to pull the heavy entrance door open and then shove it shut, creating a huge cacophonous bang that scared me senseless the first time it happened. i was absolutely bowled over by the sex scene. i was bowled over by the intimacy of every scene between them. i didn't contextualize it at the time but it was because i had never, ever seen a piece of media that imbued a portrayal of affection, love, and desire between men with such sincerity and humanity. i swear it rewired my brain. i later bought the dvd from a knock-off dvd seller on the street in Manhattan for four dollars and hid that as well.

when Heath Ledger died i cried for two days straight, which I tried to hide unsuccessfully. for some reason the fact that I was crying over him made my step dad very angry and he harassed me about it and complained to my mom all day. i didn't pay any attention to him and continued to grieve the loss of someone that, as a kid, i felt had directly acknowledged my struggle with the shame and fear caused by my homosexuality, and facilitated bringing my identity into focus in a caring and deeply thoughtful way. brokeback mountain was an extraordinary experience for me because on one hand, it pulled out the ugliness and hate that existed in my environment, but on the other, it gifted me my first real feeling of being seen and understood. the memory of that experience is so strong and visceral to me still that I'm not able to watch the movie anymore without triggering waves of intense emotions, and because that overwhelms me, I don't watch the movie anymore. but i have so much affection for it. i am filled with affection for it.

[gregoftom]

I'm the anon who just got into tomgreg before, I've now reached half of season 3, finally get to what's the Nero and Sporus scene everyone's been talking about! So like yeah that's insane and mind-blowing but also I accidentally saw, for like a second before I lost the post because tumblr was being glitchy, a gif of tom casually touching/stroking greg's cheek in passing and that was actually even more mind-blowing to me??? Because what??? I know Tom is a bit touchy feely with the Greg (usually with his forearms I think, maybe playing with his tie) but in the future it's to the point of casually caressing his cheek without thinking?? Now maybe I just don't know the context and it's not at all what I thought but it's still insane to think about from the pov of someone who is still in the middle of season 3.... Sorry for the rant I couldn't help it

OH YEAH honestly, it just gets more and more insane as it goes. s4 gets a very mixed reaction i’ve noticed but for me personally i really enjoy it because you get to see their dynamic shift into one of true friendship, love and trust. i didn’t watch it week to week i got it all at once so i can sympathise that ppl felt a bit bereft of tg but honestly when you watch it all at once it’s actually quite astounding how far they’ve come. to me it’s a good sign the way they act in s4 and like. it’s not like they aren’t still crazy about each other. tom still isn’t normal about greg in the slightest, he’s just not. you know. throwing water bottles at him lol. he’s letting him in. we’re seeing a relationship develop in reverse - we got the intense crazy sexual energy at the beginning and the trust, love and friendship being built towards the end. they stumbled backwards into it. i love that. and i find it funny ppl stopped taking it seriously as a ship or started hating it the second it started developing into an actual viable relationship from its beginnings. very inch resting.

SORRY got off track a little i have beef lol BUT yeah. tom is super touchy with greg and greg starts to learn he can be touchy with tom too, it’s so meaningful bc every single other character greg tries to touch or hug recoils. every single one. but not tom. greg’s love language is validated and so is tom’s in kind. it’s soooo fundamental to their relationship as well as their characters.

they do indeed get to that point and yeah seeing the future when you’re at a certain point in the show is wack like, it’s amazing to see it not only developed to that point, but that the show allowed it to be? there’s also loads more to look back on you might have missed when you rewatch. i love them and bless you for coming to my inbox to talk about them, i love seeing new fans of tg pop up 🥰