#<- in whatever form idc
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*thinks about how fond sanji looks at luffy some times*
#specifically the baratie arc when sanji looks at luffy fighting#and declaring he won’t die and arguing with don kreig#and when he looks at Luffy after he saves him *head in hands*#he’d only known Luffy for a few hours and he was just amazed by him#also when he starts talking and sharing his dream about the all blue#one piece#sanji and Luffy relationship is actually so important to me#rattytalks#Sanlu#<- in whatever form idc#they mean so much to me#*says that about any relationship with luffy*
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deleting my se0 posts bc they feel too mean </3 i wanna bring better energy to the fangame scene
#once again i insist on playing it or watching a playthrough to form your own opinion#i got a bit too targeted in my last post and it left a bad taste in my mouth next day. i need to be better about that#my posts on reborn stay up tho bc that game genuinely deserves it djdndnfnf#echoed voice#i still dont care for the second half but im gonna be more private abt my critiques#or at least be more fair about them online#also i am afraid i kinda look like i dislike stuff that isnt 1:1 to canon#sometimes i do prefer canon but like. i woman beam half the characters i really dont care tbh#i only brought it up with that game bc ppl insisted on it being so good its soft canon now#but like. idk idc everyone can do whatever they want
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I ought to grow horns
A permanent mark of shame
For all the pain I’ve caused
To drive anyone with the intention of getting close away
A warning sign
A mark of shame
Horns are cool, maybe
Maybe I could learn to cynically „own” them
Revel in the fear respect they’d instill
Illusion safety in the enclosure I build for myself
While trapping a lonely
scared internalised scapegoat child
#free writing#vent writing#feel free to rb#okay to reblog#guys this is so silly#guys this is so genzou coded ahaha aheheh/idek the tone in which im typing this with forgive me#my writing#free verse#free form#free form poetry#i cant rhyme for shit#writing#no but seriously treat this as a#textpost#txt post#txt#text#text post#do whatever with it idc#blame#guilt#self blame#asher's ramblings
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the position i interviewed for is no longer posted so i'm assuming it was given to someone else...
#ooc.#which idc whatever#i emailed them a day after my interview and they said they'd get back to me with a yes or no early this week#and it's thurs so!#maybe they're still deciding but idk... i doubt it lol#it's just weird bc they made me fill out a background check form#which to me meant they were at least interested#they did say they had other interviews tho#but hearing nothing back is kind of sad lol#time to just apply for more things!!
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have any of u seen the movie babygirl
#♡.gabi barks#im thinking abt that#see i could Never write a fully fleshed out fic with Plot LOL m too much of a bimbo for that#but. like… the Milk Scene (where romy is drinking milk out of the bowl not the glass of milk in public)#or when samuel is f*ngering her n she’s crying n telling him to wait bcs she ‘doesnt wanna pee’ but he keeps going…. That With Who#im a big babygirl fan but u know what#smth about me is i have a genuine dislike for men that i will make every form of media i consume lesbian in some way idc#sayinng that while i literally have a smut blog where i write for men n women… BUT ITS DIFFERENT#like I control what happens in my fics and with who so like.. yeah#whatever anyway babygirl scenes but with What Idol
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ok i have to say it
the ONLY proship i actually like-- no, LOVE, is ELSANNA
i HATE judging others otp so i >don't care< what you ship as long as you aren't hurting anyone and it's ISN'T real people !!!
anyways i just wanted to say that cause i'm so tired of seeing all this hate over someone just because they ship X couple. i don't care enough about this to form an opinion whether i like or dislike this ship, therefore i >don't care< about you shipping it
so yeah
just let people enjoy things
#elsanna#proship#kinda of#but not really#since i only like elsanna#but again: ship whatever makes you happy#idc about anything#also idc if you disagree#people can form their own opinions and that's ok
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Vent under the cut, main triggers listed in the tags
We're gaming right now (I will never know if the versions of myself I have in my mind are real or not and what I was like when I was a child. A part of me died that summer and I will never get that person back no matter how hard I try. There will be one day where I won't recognize my memories as my own anymore because I've changed myself so much that there's nothing left of him).
(it's easier to think of myself as several people instead of thinking of myself as a whole person because I separate my emotions into boxes with no nuance allowed, yet I will also always know I am one person, and saying anything other than that could cause me more distress or disillusion, and would possibly even get me fake claimed or have people assume I'm trying to fake being plural).
(I am never going to be able to be a whole person no matter what I do because I will always be finding a new identity, pushing myself to be a different person depending on what I think they'll like. I don't even recognize my own body and I can't see a future where I will ever be a static and comfortable person).
#mewo rambles :3#tagging for vamp#tagging for dogz#<- depersonalization derealization mentions of fakeclaiming and general stuff that goes into vents idk#vent post#I would feel guilty and like I was taking resources away from actually plural people if I actually gave “form” to my emotions and-#-made them into the people/defense mechanisms they are but I can't help but feel like my emotions and my thoughts aren't myself#it's rlly difficult lmao#comfort or advice or whatever is fine for this post idc
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naomi osaka defeats ons jabeur, r64 of the 2024 canada open
#guys naomi is SO TALL oh my god#i cant say this match was Great. the serves are astronomical ass. but like…. the two of them together. in the first round. insanity#i wish ons could get her form back or whatever shes been missing idk#tennis#my photography#ik the quality is ass. idc !#to
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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there’s romance in this game right I vaguely remember discourse existing. I want to kiss dusa. dusa can I kiss u. or hypnos. they’re my faves sorry
#Gigi.txt#don’t spoil me and idc abt discourse I will form my own opinions#sillies: exist#me: I LOVE U!!!!!#I just want to be nice to both of them and give them good things in whatever way that manifests#can I build relationships platonically and Be Friends With Them I would love that too#idc idc I just adore them#also I’m very bad at this game but it’s okay
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I'd like to propose a new gender everyone:
I call it, 'Cis For Convenience'. This is the gender for people who, upon further introspection, could not give less of a shit. Pronouns? Whatevs. Presentation? Sure. And the agab is like, fine, so it's more convenient to use that one than to try and change it up. People have been using those pronouns your whole life, might as well stick with 'em.
'Cis For Convenience,' for when your gender is just your gender I guess
#my honorary big sister called me FtF and like. yeah#gender is a thing? i think#i don't Not vibe with being a girl so i guess that's cool?#sure#like i spent a MINUTE looking inward and questioning my identity#and gender euphoria would be cool to experience but like. idc man#lotta work#honestly sometimes i just forget i have a physical form entirely#i won't feel true gender euphoria until i am a shapeless glowing form wandering through an enchanted wood#fi talks#happy pride 🌈#gender presentation#gender identity#gender whatever#cis for convenience#the flag is just whatever sheets you have lying around
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living in this household is such a train wreck ❤️
like wdym it's not normal for your guardians to be perfectly fine, then have an off day, which leads to my guardians arguing and having my grandma threaten to k word my grandpa and my grandpa just ask to be k worded, and then have me get so stressed out I just start crying, and in some cases (like today) have a panic attack that almost k/o's me 🫶🫠 only for everything to go back to normal 5 minutes later. Damn that's not normal??????? Welp.
#delete later#tw : kill mention#< idk if i should say this or death skdneksjs#post:vent#literally having been living in this hell for the last 4 or 5 years.#< have**#i blame those two for 90% of my emotional regulation methods.#genuinely unable to steady my breathing. rubbing my face so aggressively to the point of wanting my skin off. bawling. throwing things arnd.#all that just for me to agree with myself to not worry about that near knockout experience 2 min later lmfao 🧍♂️#as nice as it is to be able to just be able to switch from bawling my eyes out to being some form of happy/not crying in a few seconds-#-it just does not feel healthy at all.- possibly unrelated but ive noticed my breakdowns getting progressively worse and worse-#-and harder on my breathing + head sjdhsjd like a couple months ago my breakdowns would just be crying. now i just full on-#-deconstruct and shatter like glass on pavement :L#ugh sorry for this. i alr ranted to my friend abt this so this is unnecessary and i kinda planned to js not post this but whatever idc-#-ill js delete later (if i even remember that this post exists😐)
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Benedick bought Desdemona home from school just to start shit. He was slightly less in the red by the end of the day, but despite my best efforts the next round is also going to be full of him being an asshole.
Beatrice brought Alex home from school and Ariel also happened to walk by, but since she works in the evenings they were left to their own devices while Benedick was busy and Antonio worked. After rousing session of rock-paper-scissors, they started eating day-old pizza left on the counter. Ariel did not handle the pizza well.
antonio get up stop sniffing the cacti some guy is stealing your gnome (why is he bent over like that though???)
#sims 2 gameplay#antonio monty#benedick monty#morelike been-a-dick monty with how he is ACTING#beatrice monty#i love her and her weird queer friend group that she formed. the alliance... the gay the lesbian and the asexual... thats community...#i don't have a favorite monty twin. (5 minutes earlier) i really don't care for benedick#jk i support benedick too. yeah he did all that shit idc whatever
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I actually didn’t like Tanjiro that much at first until I read the manga... he seemed too good, but I actually love that now. I wish people were as kind and polite and he is.
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If you like my art, check out my store!
#maybe i'll do an accompanying nezuko at some point#my default when I don't know what to draw is whatever I recently engaged in + streetwear lol#I saw a different drawing while looking for references that made me make the background pink#Also I'm just fully using true 2 form for my watermark now because I can't bother doing different ones for twitter and tumblr and wherever#i actually like this#demon slayer#ds#which i don't always when i finish an art piece so i guess im finally getting better lol#mostly because i'm still learning digital colouring#his face is a bit weird but idc#kimetsu no yaiba#tanjiro kamado#nezuko kamado#inosuke#zenitsu#anime#manga#streetwear#digital painting#illustration#hoodie#pants#shoes#nike#jordan 1s#grunge#all the tags lol#art#drawing
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Tumblr desperately needs an intervention, we gotta gather up and get these republic*nts out of our community. They already ruined twt, we are not gonna let that happen again. This app has been v peaceful these last few years overall (specifically not mentioning fandom stuff lmao). Do NOT let them get any footing here.
#politics#fuck maga#fuck magats#fuck republicans#fuck republikkkans#i’ve been lurking more than posting and im pissed that im seeing more of that shit#needless to say if any magat interacts w this or any post of mine you will be blocked#idc if this comes off as cringe or overreacting or whatever#it is a safe space for sm ppl myself included and if this continues— it’s gonna be compromised in some form or another#do not take what happened to tiktok and twt lightly is what im saying#also yes i did indeed censor myself lol want to get my frustration across but also dont wanna competely stoop to their level#my post
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genuinely i wish i wasnt so picky with writing though because im also going through what i, sadly, call “lower tier fics” where either the more technical aspects of writing (grammar, syntax, give or take away a thesaurus, etc) stress me out
on one hand i hate that i even have that mindset bc i acknowledge perhaps english is this persons second language or smth. i’m also a teacher. like. fundamentally, i should not be judging things this way outside of the classroom. on the other hand.
most of the archives now a days could benefit from a quick writing workshop. or reading a couple actual physical books. or just giving the thing a few more passes.
editing/grammar/etc isn’t going to remove your writing voice, but it will help instill clarity and when you do break rules about punctuation you’ll be breaking them better
i am not at all proud of this trait of mine lol
#i cannot describe it any further than it stresses me out#idc about the but fanfic and writing is a hobby i don’t need to stress abt my grammar#listen. writing is an art. learning your craft and enhancing it and playing with it keeps that spark alive#writing also comes with reading which is why i say read other actual published books#some published books are well edited. some are not. it’s actually good to like. absorb and reflect on that#old and new. popular and unpopular. diff genres. non fiction and fiction.#i give the same speech to all my students#this is not even to mention i genuinely care abt fan work as its own particular art form so i am just. extra passionate#that isn’t to say you shouldn’t be confident in things you write. but it does mean part of writing is research and observation and like…#diligence? and mindfulness? care#??????? losing my train of thought here#Anyway the point here is i’m picky and people who have great ideas and plots but don’t quite get grammar or definitions and whatever#make me Sensitive and i wish i could just. reach through time and space and give them unsolicited advice.#thanks. No this is not a good trait of mine at all
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