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fandom-madness69 · 1 year

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Chapter Two

MHA Aizawa FanFic

Shota Aizawa x Akane Saito (my oc)

7,989 words

I could literally never post this on any other social media (Wattpad and AO3 don't count IMO)

TW/CW again for mention of abuse and attempt at victim bl*ming by the victim herself (as always my tags will include TW and CW at the beginning so I don't have to add those words and risk bringing my posts down)

Tuesday morning Akane found herself on light duty tasks for work. She tried to insist to her supervisor, Miss Etsuko Yamaguchi, that she really didn’t need this kind of treatment, but the older woman had just smiled and shooed her away. Though Akane really didn’t mind. She didn’t even need her cart today. All she was responsible for today was puke patrol and lost student duty. Even though it had been a couple months since the new school year had brought in new students, but they still tended to get lost for another month or two. Especially with the dorm buildings having been added.

So, with low music playing in her headphones Akane wandered around the campus. All she had to do was radio someone else on the janitorial staff if a kid got sick and help any lost kids as much as they needed her to. Normally she would also have to have a cart to clean up the puke herself, but Miss Yamaguchi had told her to radio for someone else instead and gave her a walkie talkie which Akane had tucked in her hoodie pocket. Mother Nature had finally decided it was Winter and the Mid November temperatures had finally come crashing down on them this morning. Thankfully Akane could stay indoors for most of today, but she made sure to keep an eye on the nearest window every time she saw one in case a student was lost out there. The thick grey clouds blocking most of the sunlight today definitely meant snow. Even though the cold wasn’t the best weather she preferred the snow over everything else. So, the thought had Akane even more excited than she already was after the weekend with Shōta.

Akane looked around the hallway she was in and realized she was less than thirty feet from the door to Class 1-A. Her heart fluttered again, and she felt her hair start to shrink inside the thick toke she had it tucked under. She wanted to go peak inside the little window, but she knew better because every kid in that classroom had an uncanny sense for when they were being watched even if only briefly. With a huffed sigh she continued her path forward which would lead her past the door anyway. It wasn’t unusual for janitorial and support staff to wander the hallways during the day so no one would bother her over walking by. She decided to risk at least glancing in when she walked by.

To her surprise Shōta was standing at the front of the classroom, free of the sleeping bag she had so often seen him in and teaching actively. She stopped to look at him for a second longer and as soon as she did his head turned to look at her. He held her gaze for a few seconds before flashing her a brief smile and turning back to his students. She figured it was best she hurried along before anyone in that room realized what had just happened. When she rounded the end of the hall and had made it to the next platform on the staircase Akane stopped and leaned against the stairwell wall. He had risked that smile knowing damn good and well all his students saw it. She was going to have to avoid his room the rest of the day, so she didn’t draw any more attention to herself.

It’s not that the two days he had spent taking care of her and helping her adjust to her quirk had been bad. In fact, they were wonderful. She just didn’t need the students doing what kids do and starting rumors. There was one point he had sent a student to check on her yesterday, but it had been Uraraka who was incredibly sweet and amazing with secrets as it turned out. She hadn’t even asked why her superhero teacher had asked her to check on this random janitor lady. She had just brought a few homemade cookies that she promised she already planned on giving away, she just didn’t know who because it was an extra few from the batch she made for her classmates, made sure Akane was okay and then left. She knew the only reason Shōta didn’t send a teacher the other two times during the hours he had been busy was, so he didn’t make her uncomfortable. Instead, a couple other members of the support staff had come to check on her and bring her food. When someone had knocked on her door the fourth time Akane was pleased to see Shōta himself with a big bag of take out in one hand and the sequel to the movie they had watched on Sunday in the other.

After a few minutes of concentration Akane felt her hair return to the waist length she had set it to Sunday and then she pushed herself off the wall. When she made it to the next floor, she finally bumped into someone else. A lost kid by the looks of it. Halfway down the hallway stood a short and petite kid with sapphire blue hair. The kid turned around and Akane saw the worried expression on her face.

“Hey there kiddo, you look a little lost. My name is Akane Saito, and I work here as a Janitor. Luckily for you I’m on lost kid duty today so how can I help,” she called out cheerfully to the girl whose eyes were starting to water. The girl’s head snapped up from the paper in her hands, her schedule presumably, and relief washed across her face.

“Oh, my goodness finally an adult who works here! I’m so lost and it’s so dumb because I’ve been here for two months, and I’ve gone to class 2-B many many times and yet here I am lost!” She sounded bewildered and a bit on edge. Akane let out a soft chuckle and smiled warmly at the girl.

“Don’t worry it happens to everyone, well everyone without a good memory. Did you know having a photographic or eidetic memory used to be considered a superpower?” She was trying to keep things light so the girl wouldn’t have a full-blown freak out. She might be new here herself, newer than this student in fact, but she did have a photographic memory.

“No, I had no idea. Would you mind leading me to my classroom please? I’m not sure my teacher is going to be too pleased,” the girl muttered and rubbed her neck as she looked at her shoes. Akane nodded and told the young girl she’d be happy to help before she turned around to head back in the direction she had just come from. The girl followed along beside her silently. Akane didn’t mind making casual conversations, but she also knew she was going to have to walk past Shōta’s classroom again and she didn’t wanna have to think about talking while walking past the man she loved.

The door to the girl’s classroom was left open by a crack. She thanked Akane and scurried inside. When Akane saw the teacher wasn’t scolding the girl she turned around to head back to where she was on her route. She would have to pass his room a third time. So much for staying away as not to draw attention to herself.

As she hurried past his room a third time the door slid open. No fuck not now, Akane thought. She kept her eyes fixed out the many windows on her right and kept walking while silently praying whoever it was it was simply a coincidence. The door to his room closed and footsteps started behind her in the hallway. Akane picked up her pace and when she made it to the stairs, she felt a familiar sensation slide over her shoulder.

“Listen I swear I’m not being creepy,” she started as she turned around, but the owner of this capture scarf wasn’t who she thought it was. Behind her stood a student. Hitoshi Shinso to be exact.

“I saw you pass by with the student the second time though I don’t think he did and then when you walked past the third time, I could see him messing with his scarf. He only does that when he’s worried. So, I excused myself to ‘go to the bathroom’ but really, I came to see if you were okay. He and I have a secret code that we use with our scarves, so I don’t have to talk since I have a brain washing quirk. Don’t worry it only activates if I ask you a question, so I won’t,” his voice was barely audible, but Akane knew why. She had seen him on TV during the Sports Festival last year, so she was familiar with how his Quirk worked though he didn’t know that.

“You can signal to him that I’m okay I just needed to help that student. I’m on puke patrol and lost student duty so he doesn’t need to worry about me overdoing it today,” she explained. He nodded and tugged his scarf off her shoulder where it had still been resting.

“I’ll let him know,” he mumbled before turning around and heading back to Class 1-A’s room. Once again Akane found herself leaning against the wall of the first platform going down from this floor in this stairwell. She really had to get out of the main building. She decided she could get some fresh air and hurried all the way back to the ground floor.

The rest of the day passed without incident. When Akane decided she wasn’t in the mood for dinner she headed straight for her room after telling Miss Yamaguchi that she was still feeling well. With the door closed to her room Akane pulled off all the layers she had been wearing save for one. She flopped face first onto her bed in nothing more than a pair of shorts and a sports bra. Her gloves of course had still been on since she replaced them Sunday after her shower. A light knock sounded at her door, and she groaned. She really was tired of people asking if she was okay. It was a simple shapeshifting quirk, it’s not like using her quirk shattered half her bones with one go. A light chuckle escaped over that roast. Whatever Midoryia’s Quirk was he clearly wasn’t built for it. She opened the door to see Shōta standing there and quickly closed it again remembering her outfit. She took a deep breath and cracked it open again.

“Hi sorry didn’t mean to slam it in your face, I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up, so I’m not properly dressed,” she explained while her cheeks grew bright red.

“That’s okay I just wanted to check on you. I know it’s probably getting a bit annoying, and I can leave you be if you’d like me to, but I wanted to check one more time before I let you decide if I should leave you alone or not,” he explained. He was wearing a few layers himself which made him look a little like a sleep deprived blob. Akane giggled at this thought.

“It’s never annoying coming from you. And you can stop checking up on me but I’m totally fine if you keep popping by to hang out or whatever,” she said. He smiled that soft smile again and nodded.

“Well then may I come in and hang out for a bit? Once you’re properly dressed that is,” he asked. She nodded and left the door cracked to go pull on a shirt at random. Once she had on the loose grey shirt that covered her shorts most of the way, she opened the door the rest of the way. He walked inside and she shut it quickly but not before getting a devious look from a woman a couple of rooms down. Akane responded by sticking her tongue out at the woman before closing the door. She turned around to find him shedding layers and pulling out snacks along with it. When he finished a small pile of snacks sat on her only nightstand, a larger pile of his clothes lay on her floor, and he was in a white shirt and sweats. He really didn’t wear shorts, did he? He turned around to Akane and smiled when he saw her staring again. He chuckled and walked over to her leaving a couple feet of space between them.

“You really do like to look at me don’t you Akane,” his voice was a bit thicker than normal, and his black eyes seemed to blaze even without his quirk activated. Akane’s face got redder as she nodded. “Well then it’s a good thing I really like to look at you too.” He lifted a hand as if to reach for her and then dropped it.

“Okay new rule. As long as it’s not kissing, touching my gloves or scars, or initiating anything lewd you don’t have to ask for my permission. It’ll help us both because as much as I find it sweet it tends to get in the way ya know,” Akane explained as she stayed standing there between Shōta and the door. He reached up and cupped her cheek in one hand. Akane’s heart thundered in her chest as he stepped a bit closer.

“You’d want me to kiss you?” He sounded more happy than he did surprised.

“Shō I’ve been dreaming of kissing you for years. I’d be able to die happy if you did,” she said before she could stop herself. Her face was hot with blush, and he stepped close enough that Akane could feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Then may I kiss you,” he asked. Akane had to be dreaming. She pinched her cheek that he wasn’t holding, and he laughed. “You’re not dreaming I really asked.”

“Then yes please,” she breathed. His face got closer and Akane’s eyes fluttered shut. His breath hit her face with warmth and the smell of mint. After a few seconds that seemed to drag out forever his lips were on hers. Soft, smooth, and warm. His hand slid into her long orange hair, and she wrapped an arm around his shoulders. His lips pressed into hers more and then a few seconds later they were gone from hers. She opened her eyes to find him still close to her. Close enough she could still feel and smell his breath on her face. She wanted more, so much more but she knew she couldn’t handle it right now. Not mentally anyway. He kissed her nose and then stepped back two steps.

“That was everything I’d dreamed it would be and more,” she said breathlessly. His hand slid from her hair and found her hand.

“And even though last night was the first time I’ve dreamt of kissing you it was just as wonderful for me,” he smiled as he tugged her over to her bed, “now let’s see what there is to watch while we have snack yeah?” She sat in her usual spot and this time he sat next to her instead of adjacent from her as he had been last night. Her lips still tasted like his and she couldn’t think enough to find the remote.

“You, okay?” His voice was sincere. She turned to him and smiled.

“I am I just can’t think because my lips still taste like you and as much as I know neither of us want to rush anything, but I really want to kiss you again,” she explained. He reached up and cupped her cheek in his hand again.

“Then by all means kiss me again if you’d like to,” he breathed out. She leaned up and closed the space between them as she shut her eyes. Her lips met his and his other arm looped around her middle back. He pulled her closer which deepened the kiss. She wrapped both arms around him and slowly parted her lips. His lips followed her lead, and she hesitantly slid her tongue into his mouth. A soft moan escaped her mouth and as if he was anticipating her retreat from embarrassment he let go. She pulled back enough that their noses were still touching. Akane went to say something, but Shōta held up a finger to her lips.

"Don't apologize like I know you're about to try to do, I'm never going to be upset by you stopping anything between us at any time," he whispered. Akane pulled back another few inches and spotted the remote buried under his pile of snacks on her nightstand.

"Then I'd like to just watch a movie and ask you to forget that noise you heard," she said as she leaned around him and pulled the remote from under the snacks before straightening back up. "I mean it'll be hard, but I'll try my best," he said honestly before he leaned back against the pillow, he had put between himself and the wall her bed was against. She turned the TV on and found that one of the movies that had been made about All Might was playing on TV.

"Okay this one's literally my favorite and I'm not apologizing so it stays on," she declared as she tossed the remote across the room in case he tried to object or change it. This made him laugh loudly. She turned to fixate him with a playful glare which caused him to stop laughing and return the look. After a few seconds of this stare down he reached behind him and sent one of the snack cakes flying at her. It hit Akane square in the chest and she gasped. He doubled over with laughter, and she threw the cake back at him. Even bent over his scarf snapped up and caught the sweet snack easily. She shuddered a bit and he looked up at her seriously.

"I can leave this on the floor with my other layers if you need me to, it's just like a second skin so I almost never remember to take it off," he offered. Akane shook her head.

"No, I'm okay that wasn't a bad shudder," she said shyly before turning to pretend to watch the movie. She saw Shōta straighten up in her peripheral vision with a smirk on his face.

"For someone who agrees we shouldn't rush this you seem to be having lots of dirty thoughts this evening," he teased. She snatched the snack cake from his scarf and tossed it at him again. This time he let it bounce off his chest.

"You're on my bed, in my room flirting with me after doting on me half the weekend. What more did you expect," she teased back. His smirk turned into a smile as he leaned back against the pillow again and opened the poor smooshed snack cake.

"Nothing actually," he said before stuffing half the thing into his mouth. Akane giggled and turned to watch the movie this time. She scooted a little further away but only so she could lay down with her head in his lap again, she had done this last night and could swear he didn’t stop smiling the whole time. He ran his fingers through her hair as they watched the movie together. She reached over once to grab a snack because she still really wasn't feeling too hungry. After a while Shōta's fingers in her hair started to soothe her to sleep.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to fall asleep," she warned.

"And much like with the rules of a cat I wouldn't be allowed to move until you wake up or move off of me, whichever comes first," he teased but kept running his fingers through her hair.

"What if you're late for class tomorrow?" He just kept running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes started to flutter shut before he finally answered.

"Then I'd be late and if anything happened, I'd trust Shinso, Midoryia, and Ida to handle it. Now shush and sleep if you'd like to." She nodded and allowed his fingers in her hair to fully lull her to sleep. Akane's alarm went off at 5 am like it always did and she reached over to turn it off. The noise stopped before her hand reached it and she realized Shōta must have stayed here. She opened her eyes to see she was lying halfway on him.

"Five more minutes," grumbled and pulled her closer. Her heart fluttered and she giggled.

"Okay but then we have to get up," she whispered. He nodded once and then went back to breathing evenly. Her alarm went off again ten minutes later and he smacked the snooze button again.

"Okay okay fine I'll get up," he grumbled again. He opened his eyes which were blazing red and Akane felt her hair shrinking in length. A soft growl came up from his chest and he blinked, turning his eyes back to their usual black. Her hair tickled her back through her shirt as it grew back out to her waist. "Though with a view like this I'm not sure why I'm complaining." Akane giggled and blushed as he cupped her cheek.

"Mmmmmm I'd say you could get used to it but I think we'd be breaking our 'taking it slow rule' by waking up in each other's arms every morning after only three days," she said as she sat up and looked down at him.

"True that we would be, but also it's much easier to wake up in the morning when the view is so nice," he smiled at her as he sat up. At some point during the night, he had lost his shirt and Akane quickly looked away. Though not before she got an eye full of toned muscles. Her face was bright red, and she knew it.

"You should probably put your shirt on," she whispered.

"Do you want me to?" His voice was still thick with sleep and Akane could feel her spine tingling.

"No but that might also be breaking our rule," she said a bit louder.

"It's up to you Akane, as is everything we do," he said. She turned back to look at him and bit her lip. He really was incredibly sexy no matter what. His abs were perfectly cut into an eight pack. His pecs were toned just right for his lean frame. His arms, though seemingly small, nearly doubled in size when he flexed them for her appreciation. Her ears were red now and when she looked up at his face so we're his cheeks.

"Please don't dangle me over a bridge when I say this, but you really are beautiful," she breathed. His face got dark, and she yelped. She went to scramble out of the bed, but his arms were around her waist and pulling her into him before she ever made it to the edge.

"Take it back. Right. Now." He growled in her ear. His chest was pressed to her back and was radiating warmth.

"Are you going to let me go if I do?" She was teasing but she wasn't sure he heard her tone. He really didn't like being complimented, did he?

"Yes, I will," he breathed in her ear. "Then nope. You're beautiful, sexy, and all around incredibly fucking hot Zawa," she tossed in the nickname for extra effect.

"Oh, you're in for it now," he growled in her ear again which made her giggle more. His lips were on her neck in a matter of seconds and Akane melted. Her whole body went almost limp in his arms as she moaned softly with each touch of his lips on her skin. After five or six kisses he suddenly tensed up and pulled back, letting her go in the process.

"I'm so fucking sorry Akane, I didn't ask and I basically-" Akane put her hand over his mouth.

"Nope you didn't hurt me. I was teasing and pushing buttons. You were just waking up and you were only returning my energy. Kissing my neck wasn't too far. In fact, I would have done the same thing if I were you," she quickly explained. He kissed her hand, and she moved it away.

"I'll tolerate being called anything but beautiful," he said, his face still a bit dark.

"Why? You are incredibly beautiful," she whispered. He growled softly again.

"Because Hizashi uses it to tease me all too often," he ground out through clenched teeth. "Okay I take it back. You're still incredibly sexy but I won't ever call you beautiful again," she said louder.

"Thank you, Akane. Now as much as I'd love to stick around for you to give me another reason to entice those melodic moans from your lips, I need to get on different clothes before I go teach these kids." He slid off the bed and pulled on his shirt and started on all his other layers. Once he was dressed, he cleaned up his snack messes and turned to her. Akane was digging through her closet looking for some thicker clothes since snow was falling outside the decent sized balcony doors she had in her room. She would shower tonight so the warmth of the water would keep her warmer overnight since Shōta turning up last night had made her forget to shower. So, she hadn’t showered since Monday night after he left. She turned around to face him and found him standing a couple of feet away.

“May I have another kiss before I have to go keep these kids alive for another day?” His voice was soft in tone again. Akane nodded and he closed the gap between them. His fingers of one slid into her hair and the other hand found her lower back and pulled her body flush to his. She dropped the sweater she had been holding to put on as one layer and wrapped both arms around his shoulders as his head dipped down to hers. Her eyes closed and his lips met hers. Deep but not rough. He lingered as long as he dared to, not trying to push her past this simple kiss. After what seemed like forever in a day and not nearly long enough at the same time he pulled back.

“If you’d like we can use one of the empty training facilities to work on your quirk tonight,” he whispered with his nose still touching hers.

“I’d like that so that way if anyone tries to start anything we can play it off much easier,” she said. He nodded and briefly kissed her nose before fully pulling out of her arms.

“I have to go now but I’ll see you this evening outside of the teacher’s dorm at 7, don’t be late or I’ll actually make you run laps. I’m not joking.” Something about his tone told her he was serious. She nodded and went back to her closet to finish finding clothes for the weather. She heard him open the door and when she looked over, she saw he was checking to make sure no one else was around before he slipped out the door and closed it quietly behind him.

Later that evening as the snow fell at a steady pace Akane found herself outside the teachers’ dorm building at 6:55. The door opened spilling out soft warm light into the darkness of the early evening and out walked Shōta.

“Ahhhh good you’re early, that makes me happy,” he said as he pulled the door closed behind him. He walked down the few steps that led from the door to the sidewalk where Akane stood and offered his arm to her. She looped her arm around his and he started walking her towards the training facilities presumably. They walked in a comfortable silence as the snow picked up around them a bit. She hoped the training facilities had working heat. A few minutes later they were opening the big door to one of the empty training facilities. It was pitch black but much to Akane’s relief the heat seemed to have been left on.

“Made sure it got left on myself. I knew it would end up snowing harder, so I made sure to find the one of your fellow janitors to ask that they make sure it didn’t get turned back off,” he explained as he started to shed his thicker layers. Akane started stripping off her own layers leaving her standing in just her pink tights and a loose-fitting black shirt over her underwear. She looked over to see Shōta was in a pair of jeans and a tight fitting dark blue shirt. The color really looked good on him, and she wished he’d wear color more often, even if he stuck to the darker shades of the colors, it would still suit him. He was walking over to the wall and after a few seconds dim light filled the space from only a fifth of the lights being turned on. He looked back with that soft smile on his face she was starting to grow accustomed to and that made her smile.

“Alright so we are going to start small and work as long as you’d like to,” he said his voice slightly echoing off the walls of the empty gymnasium looking room. So, he had chosen a room that didn’t have giant pieces of a mountain side or raging rivers in it. Good because she definitely wasn’t ready for any hero training or anything. There were some obstacle course stuffs pushed to one side and a bunch of thick foam mats pushed off to another side. She followed him as he led the way to the middle of the room and stopped. “I’m going to turn your Quirk off and when I do I want you to concentrate on how that feels in your body. Not the sensations from your physical appearance changing but internally. You’ll understand what I’m saying when I do it.”

“Okay, I’m ready whenever you are Shōta,” she nodded to him. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again, they were blazing red. She focused on how she felt during the brief seconds where his quirk affected her body. Warmth bloomed in her stomach as a wave of something flowed through her. When she looked back to Shōta to confirm if she had felt the right thing he was smiling at her even more.

“That was great Akane, now I’m going to turn my Quirk off and again I want you to feel the sensations that causes in your body as your Quirk comes back.” He blinked again and Akane focused with her eyes closed this time. The warmth bloomed in her stomach again followed by the wave of something washing over her. Only this time she was able to identify that the sensation started at the very top of her head. When she opened her eyes Shōta was still standing in the same spot and his eyes were their usual black. He nodded again.

“Good Akane now you know where your Quirk is centralized in your body. Now let’s move on to small feature changes. Focus on your hair and think of how you want it to look while feeling that sensation. Make the sensation move where you want and affect your body how you wish it to,” he explained.

Akane focused on making her hair pink and just long enough to brush the tops of her shoulders. The sensation bloomed at the top of her head again and she focused on it more. She thought about it moving out to the ends of her hair and it did. Focusing on the thought of it pulling up from her waist to the tops of her shoulders, she felt it do just that. Finally, she thought about turning her hair bubble gum pink and watched Shōta’s face light up which told her she had succeeded.

“You really are a natural,” he gasped as Akane made her hair change to his. She wondered just how much she could push it but didn’t want to leap right into something that might have her on bed rest for two days again. Though this time around she suspected they’d just send her to Recovery Girl.

“Maybe I can do more than we thought,” she contemplated aloud.

“Maybe you can Akane but let’s take it slowly please. I’d for sure take you Recovery Girl this time but I’d rather not have to do that to begin with,” he said softly in tone as he got a little closer.

“Okay so what should we try next?” He stopped a good ten feet away and shrugged.

“Without pushing yourself too hard too fast it’s up to you now,” he explained. She sighed and thought about what she wanted to do. She knew she could change her hair, eyes, eyebrows and lips painlessly, but did that mean it would stay the same throughout?

“Shōta what if it hurts me to use it to do more than just superficial features,” her voice was laced with enough worry that he closed the gap between them and grabbed her hand gently in his.

“The only way to find out is to try. So, let’s start simply. Try focusing on your pinky finger in my hand. Make it longer and see if it hurts.” His voice was soothing and so she focused again. She thought about the sensation moving from her head to her right pinky finger cradled in his hand. When she felt it there, she focused on the thought of the sensation elongating her finger an inch. She watched as it grew that inch but didn’t hurt. It barely even tingled.

“Oh, okay well that was almost pleasant,” she whispered.

“We were right though. You’re capable of more than we thought,” he said and squeezed her fingers gently. She made her finger return to the normal size with a little more concentration and then stepped back a couple of steps.

“I want to try something, and I ask that you don’t stop me because I promise I won’t push myself too far,” she said. He nodded and watched her. She closed her eyes and focused intently on her memories. She was searching for the one vague memory she had of her father from when she was four and he left. When she had focused on what features of his she could remember she focused on her quirk. She felt her eye shape change, her lips change, her cheeks got bigger and her hair got incredibly short. It was in soft curls on top of her head. Akane opened her eyes to see astonishment written all over Shōta’s face.

“Do you recognize this face? Even vaguely,” she whispered. He studied her face and then his own face fell. Sadness filled all his features and panic filled Akane.

“I’m sorry Akane but he got arrested in the first raid on the Yazuka hideout that resulted in us rescuing Eri,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “in fact I captured him myself.”

“Oh well, that’s what he gets for abandoning his wife and daughter to join up with a bunch of delinquents,” she scoffed. Her eyes closed again as she focused on her quirk and made it return her features to the ones she preferred.

“Akane are you sure,” his voice sounded a bit uncertain.

“I’m positive. He chose to abandon us, didn’t even send us any kind of money from his bullshit, never called me on a single birthday or holiday. He got what he deserved. No chance he’s in Tartarus so I don’t have to worry about him getting out,” her voice rose with hope at the end. He nodded confirming he was locked in the highest security prison Japan had to offer and Akane smiled. “Good that’s really good.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to explore about your quirk? Anything else you’d like to try?”

“Well, I was thinking about one other thing I’d like to try.” She closed her eyes and focused on her quirk again. When she opened her eyes, she knew her face was an exact replica of his because his mouth was hanging open.

“Small shapeshifting quirk my ass,” he breathed out in amazement.

“Okay now please stop wearing my face it’s incredibly uncanny.”

Akane nodded and this time kept her eyes open as she focused on her quirk. She felt the process take a couple seconds less than the last time and she smiled.

“Wow I’m already getting a bit better at this.”

“Yes, you are and that’s honestly amazing dear. If you’d like to, we can work on your handicordination once you get your glasses in,” he suggested.

“We could definitely do that and then maybe after a bit of practice we could bring in more of your fellow teachers and I could shift into one of them and you could try to tell us apart,” she suggested in return.

“It would only work if I wasn’t in the room when it happened, otherwise it wouldn’t work,” he teased.

“Well obviously,” she stuck her tongue out at him, and he playfully lunged at her in response. She yelped and stumbled back a couple of steps.

“If you’re going to tease me expect me to respond in a similar way to that every time,” he warned. She made a mental note of that and smiled.

“Well then, I think we are done for tonight. I’d appreciate if you’d walk me back to my building, but I think it’s best you sleep in your own room for the next several nights, so no one gets any ideas.”

“I think that would be best as well,” he agreed. They walked over to where they had left their piles of layers and started to tug them back on. Once they were dressed Shōta made his way over to the thermostat and switched the unit off. She waited by the door as he turned off the lights. Once he was next to her he offered her his arm and smiled. She wrapped her arm around his and they walked towards her building. This time they walked a bit slower as the snow had stopped at some point while they were inside training. Once they reached her building Akane felt a twang of sadness hit her heart. She knew as the teacher of the leading class of upcoming superheroes at the leading school for training upcoming superheroes his days wouldn’t always be this leisurely. She wasn’t sure when she’d get to see him again.

“Let me have your phone number so that way when things pick up here in a few days and I can’t see you for a while I can at least keep in touch with you, so you know why,” he said almost as if he had read her mind. She dug out her phone and put it in his hand. He pulled off one of his gloves and typed his contact information into her phone. He handed it back to her and she immediately texted him her name, so he had her number.

“There now whenever you get caught up training the next generation of Toshi’s I’ll at least know you’re not dead,” she said seriously.

“Would it be okay if I stole one more kiss before we don’t have the ability to be alone together again?” She nodded and he closed the small gap between them. He kissed her deeply but briefly so as to avoid attracting any attention. When she closed the door to the building behind her Akane’s heart sank a little more.

It was two weeks before Shōta and her found themselves alone together again. During those two weeks four days he and his class had been off campus on some kind of training exercise or another. Akane spent most of the time doing her work with the same pace and tenacity as before. She couldn’t allow this to affect her work. Her routine of making sure his classroom smelled like lavender instead of harsh chemicals never faltered. She made all the other classrooms smell like vanilla, but she had learned from the one magazine interview he had given when he was still an up-and-coming superhero that he loved the smell of lavender.

During the days he was on campus they would occasionally see each other. They’d pass in the hallways, and he’d shoot her a smile followed by a text that ranged from “Hope this isn’t too much but I do miss you” to “you should be practicing your quirk even if I’m not there to guide you.” The first one always made her respond with “it’s not too much, I miss you too.” The second one always got a response of multiple eye rolling emojis. He usually ignored those. Everything else always got a different response. Two days before he returned from the training trip, he told her he would have time the day after he got back and wanted to know if she wanted to hang out. She had agreed only if he promised that if she proved she’d been training that they would do literally anything else. So, he agreed and invited her back to his dorm building.

“Alright show me what you’ve got,” he said once they were settled in his room. Akane was tucked underneath his Kotatsu table, and he was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand. Akane focused on her quirk and changed her face. In twenty seconds, her face looked like Shōta’s. In another twenty seconds it looked like Hizashi’s face. Then twenty seconds later she looked like Kaya. She had taken this seriously and now it no longer took her several full minutes to change her features.

“Okay you have been practicing,” he exclaimed as she made her face look like her own again. She proudly took a drink from her wine cooler and then smiled at him.

“I told you I was practicing Mr. Teacher Man,” she teased. He set down his beer on the table and slid onto the floor next to her on his knees.

“Say that again if you want to end up pinned to this floor with my tongue down your throat,” he growled out softly. Akane squealed as her face turned bright red and scooted back a little bit from him.

“Okay I promise I’ll stop teasing you,” she giggled as she held up her hands in surrender. He smirked as he tucked himself under the table too and took another swig of his beer. “Though since it is my nature it’s going to be hard. Though maybe that’s why….”

“Akane don’t. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t. No one deserves to be assaulted the way you were, do not blame yourself. I’m sorry if my response triggered you and I can promise to never respond that way again if you tell me to,” his voice had taken on that soft tone again that had a way of soothing Akane to her core.

“Okay Zawa I won’t and don’t worry you didn’t do anything wrong. If it wasn’t for us taking this slowly, I would have teased you again, but I don’t want to rush you or myself,” she explained. His face grew a little darker but not in an angry way, it was more playful than it was this morning.

“It’s up to you Akane. All of it. If you want to tease me until I pounce on you and kiss you until you’re dizzy, do it. If you want to grab my remote and put something on the tv and pretend this never happened, then do it. Everything that does or does not happen between us is entirely up to you,” he explained in that soothing voice again.

“Well then Mr. Teacher Man why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” she taunted. In an instant he had her pinned to the floor with his hands on her hips and his body mostly pressed into hers. He didn’t pounce on her hard enough to make her hit her head hard, but she still gasped a little bit. His mouth claimed hers and she wrapped her arms around his back. As his lips coaxed hers open, she tangled one hand into his hair and let his tongue slide into her mouth. The taste of him flooded Akane’s senses as he licked at her tongue slowly. She felt a moan well up in her chest and cut it off before it could escape her lips. He licked her tongue again almost as if he wanted her to moan and she couldn’t stop it this time. The moan floated from her lips and his hands on her hips tightened. He licked her tongue again more eagerly this time and she licked his back. Their tongues and breath intermingled as his hands stayed right on her hips. She kept one hand in his hair and the other on his lower back. His taste filled her head and made her start to slip into a space she hadn’t been able to be in in a while. His lips trailed along her cheek and stopped at her ear.

“Would you like me to stop,” he breathed against her ear. She shook her head.

“Please not yet.” His lips were soft on her ear as he whispered in it again.

“Then may I kiss down your neck and move my hands elsewhere?” She nodded again, not even bothering to ask where his hands were going to end up at, she trusted him. The feeling of his lips on her neck only heightened the feeling of his hands sliding up and they came to rest a couple of inches below her breasts but still mostly on her sides. Her breath hitched in her throat, and he stopped.

“Please don’t stop. I’ll tell you when you need to stop.” He kept kissing her neck and left his hands right where they were. She tugged at his hair a little bit and he moaned against her skin.

“Oh, Akane that’s a bit of a dangerous button to be pushing.” The warning in his voice was clear. Akane might have been bolder in the past, but she simply let up on the pressure on his hair. His lips continued to make their way down her neck and once he reached her collar bone, he started to kiss his way back up. He hesitantly slid one of his hands up to rest right under her breast and when she didn’t object, he didn’t move it. Akane’s head was spinning in the best way possible as he grabbed her hands and pinned them to the floor as he bit her neck right below her ear.

"Too much.” He immediately stopped and pulled away from her. He helped her sit up and blushed.

“Sorry I should have asked first,” he muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s alright Zawa I promise. You got caught up in the moment,” she said and grabbed his hand softly. He looked at her and when he saw there was only sincerity on her face he relaxed. “Well then let’s watch a movie and then I can walk you back to your building,” he said. She nodded and leaned into him. They settled on a random action movie and cuddled the whole time they watched it. When he left her at her building, he stole another kiss with the promise to see her tomorrow before he wouldn’t be able to for a bit. She would spend every moment until then replaying every second of that passionate make out scene.

Please do not reupload this anywhere. If anyone ever sees my original work uploaded anywhere please let me know. I only post here for now. One day I might actually move things over to my Ko-fi

Here is chapter one in case you come across this post first

#aizawa fanfiction #aizawa shōta #oc #aizawa fluff #mha fanfiction #tw abuse #tw victim blaming #cw abuse #cw victim blaming

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inkribbon796 · 1 year

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Egotober 2023 Day 15: Makes and Models

Summary: Yancy’s getting bigger, stronger. But he’s not strong enough for everything yet.

A/N: It’s 3rd Sunday. You know what that means . . . Yancy angst.

Prompt: Strong

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

It was a calm but otherwise quiet Sunday. Dark didn’t like them being in the warehouse all week. He barely let them work at the warehouse, they could loiter around in his office but that was it.

But Illinois didn’t like being in Dark’s offices all day, even his larger warehouse office. Maybe he’d go later in the day to bother Patton and Arthur but for now he was wandering around the Manor. Sometimes even getting himself lost.

When Illinois opened a door it was into the garage which wasn’t the weirdest thing. He was supposed to be going into the attic, not the ground floor. But he’d been spat out in weirder places than this.

Yancy was in the garage, working on one of the cars in the garage. The garage doors were pulled open. An old Chrysler Windsor that Dark just let Yancy tinker around with because it sure wasn’t going anywhere.

“Hey,” Illinois called out and Yancy stuck his head out a window.

“Oh, hey, Ills.” Yancy smiled at him. Grease on his face and hands. “What’s up?”

Illinois shrugged. “Oh, nothing, was just bored and wandering around. How’s the car coming along?”

“It’s fine, still learning.” Yancy was climbing out of the car through the window with a large piece of metal. He’d recently started another growth spurt but wasn’t taller than Illinois and he certainly was nowhere near Arthur already was. Even if all three of them hadn’t stopped growing yet. “I’ll get it eventually.”

“Definitely,” Illinois said, admiring the mess of a car.

They were quiet for a little bit as Illinois watched Yancy and Yancy went off to try and scrub his hands clean. Illinois looked out at the mess of parts and how Illinois couldn’t lift half of this stuff.

Then. “I’m gonna try and convince Appa to get me a motorcycle.”

Yancy looked back at him. “Today.”

“No,” Illinois said. “After the fight to get into the Network I need to work up to it. Really seed out that I want one and gauge his reaction to it.”

“Yeah, well good luck,” Yancy scoffed.

Illinois spent some time with Yancy in the garage. Yancy grabbed and organized a bunch of his tools and scrap. Illinois only helped a little bit and tried not to feel bad that a fifteen-year-old was stronger than him. They were just talking about random stuff and then they decided to take a walk in the woods.

It was nice for a while, walking in what most people thought was a hell scape of twisting woods that only soon-to-be-dead people, and the Warfstache-Doom walked. For the Lost Ones the haunted, cursed woods just spat them back out to the Manor. All they had to do was decide if they wanted snacks or to keep doing their walk.

They talked about random things like what was going on in the Network, how Patton and Arthur were doing, and anything that came into their mind.

When the Manor was in sight again, they paused.

“You wanna keep walking or you good?” Illinois asked.

Yancy just looked at the Manor, thinking about something. And then he just kept staring at it.

Illinois let it go for a minute, enjoying the peace for a bit. But after a while he spoke up. “Hey, Yance, you okay?”

Yancy startled a little, “Huh, oh sorry.”

“You want me to call Appa?” Illinois asked.

“No, I’m good,” Yancy said.

Illinois felt like he should pry, but Yancy never had so he didn’t. He would forget before he realized he would regret not asking when he had the chance.

They went inside and Yancy went up to his room to grab something and on his desk he saw a childhood drawing he had done when he was little and Dark had placed it in a simple wooden frame for him. A crude nine-year-old’s drawing of Yancy with his parents.

The older he got, the harder it was to remember them and Yancy hated that. But anytime he made a thought to remind Dark about finding them he would forget by the time he got Dark’s attention.

And that never sat right with Yancy. He didn’t know why it happened and he hated it. But neither he nor Dark had any answer for why it was happening.

Maybe he would, maybe he’d be strong enough to break whatever was happening to him.

Maybe.

#Egotober 2023 #Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #yancy ahwm #Yancy #illinois ahwm #Illinois #slight fluff #angst #mostly angst

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pbandjesse · 2 years

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My manager, Jessica, just texted me that all the schools canceled tomorrow. Which sucks but a free, mostly, day off for me. I hope to do lots of quilting and knitting. And I still am working tomorrow night unless something changes. So I'm pretty happy. And honestly I hope the weather is interesting. That would make me happy.

Today was pretty good though. I wasn't feeling great for a lot of it honestly. I was stressed about my meeting with Jessica with the national guard. I spoke to so many Jessica's today. Honestly it's hilarious.

But besides my fears about that meeting, mostly about not knowing where to park, I had a good day.

I woke up at 7. James was sitting in bed with me. It's nice seeing them without their sling. And while they are hurting they are trying very hard to stretch and start building up some muscles.

I got washed and dressed and felt very cozy. I should have worn a coat today, as it was much colder, but I did not. But it was fine. We left and James drove us.

They are having trouble getting their arm to move upwards, apparently it feels like rubber bands, super tensioned. But I'm very proud of them for trying. They got me breakfast and we went to work.

I was an hour early. So I would eat and chill in the back. Jim came and we talked about Christmas stuff. He says all he really wants are printed photos of his grandkids and kids all framed. I thought that was very sweet.

And it was a fun day. We had a Christian private school and the kids were so cute in their uniforms. The saddle shoes and the cardigans and little ties. Just so sweet.

And it was such small classes. I had the 4th graders and there were only 7 of them. We love a low ratio.

They were also so super sweet. They had notebooks and took notes the whole time. Their teacher was an older man and he was great, they obviously respected him a ton. And he had great points to add throughout the tour. I think I gave a pretty good tour and tried to really focus on dates and numbers and spelled words I thought would be useful for their projects. They are going to write reports on things that made them interested. And so when they seemed excited I would expand on things. We were supposed to hit 5 galleries because they came early but we didn't even need that in the end. I was able to end my tour at the ring of fire, where John's older kids joined me, and then they were off to lunch.

After lunch O'Malley and my groups came together for a scavenger hunt. And I worked on my glove. Which I realized was slightly longer the the first glove. Thankfully not by a ton but annoying. I have to finish the edges but I'm excited anyway.

And at the end of the scavenger hunt a 3rd and a 4th grade group got 8 of the 11 questions correct and got to pick prizes. Erasers and buttons and marbles. I love how excited they get about my silly little prize box.

I took my group to the restoration classroom and we did the roller coaster project. Their teacher required that they draw out and label their rollercoaster in their notebook first. Which is fine by me. It was fun. And they did such a good job. I built my example and they loved trying that and then building their own. Though it was very funny when the teacher was like yeah that looks nice but it won't work!! And then it did and he was like. What!!!! Amazing!!

Once we were done and cleaned up they got to sit in the car. We had to wait for O'Malley's group to be done but that was alright. And then to the gift shop.

I made sure I said goodbye to everyone. The kids told me they had so much fun and that I was the best. What sweethearts.

I went to clean up the classroom and put things away. And soon I would join James in the back office. They brought me a donut. And the I went to take over the front desk.

Which was mostly good except someone came to buy something in the case and I could not figure out how to scan it in and James had to leave their meeting to come save me and I felt very dumb. But the lady was really nice and I suggested she check out Avam's giftshop since she was in the area. I hope she does cause her vibe made me think she would like it.

I finished up my glove. And no one else came in and soon I was able to leave. To go to the armory and meet with Jessica.

I was nervous. I took the long way. But was still early. Not a huge deal. The security guard was nice. And Jessica met me at the door.

The meeting went well. I am getting paid more then my regular workshop rate. I bought all the materials while I was there. We discussed what they had and what I might need. And I told them about my teddy bear workshop and they may be interested in running on as well!! So that's really cool. I felt like a real professional artist.

I was excited to go home. I was a little confused about how to get out of the parking lot but that was fine in the end. And I got home and changed into a different sweatshirt. And laid on the couch to wait for James to come home.

They would get back here and make dinner. And after dinner they ride their stationary bike and I worked in my studio. Half way down my large quilt squares.

I would go lay down after an hour or so. And James took a shower. I heard them go "oh no oh no!" And I'm like what?? Thinking something was wrong with their arm. But actually their new earrings was missing. They are pretty disappointed. But I gave them the other gold hoop I have so now we can match and I think it looks so cute on them. And who knows, maybe the other one will show up. It's a low change but not none.

Now we are in bed. James painted their nails. I took a bubble bath. And now I don't have to wake up early. I hope I have a productive art day. And have a fun event tomorrow evening.

I hope you all sleep great tonight. Stay safe if you are affected by the storm! Goodnight!!

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toloveandbelovedtoo · 2 years

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Day 2: Compassion

Today was a bit hard to do or reflect on love. I have been off of work this week and feeling like I need to do something big with my week. I've been going out to see friends, eating out, doing cleaning, a lot of napping, and resting. I plugged in my iPad in yesterday thinking I might start a drawing today as I haven't really been doing a lot of art over the winter season.

I couldn't think about anything I wanted to draw and so I thought I'd just draw a portrait of one of my fav characters to get back into the swing of it. But even then I felt no spark and it felt hard to get the lines and shapes how I wanted it. I kept getting frustrated that it wasn't turning out right and how rusty I was at something I put a lot of time and effort in over the last two years.

So I decided to take a break, I went to clean up the bathroom, clear off the coffee table, eat some lunch. I felt anxious, and tried to sit with that to see what I needed. I had taken a shower and then left to go have coffee with a friend. On my ride over, I thought I'd scrap the art, not every piece has to be completed and shared with the world. I'd do some doodles, maybe watch a tutorial on youtube, perhaps do a redraw of an older piece.

Having coffee with a friend was delightful, we had gone to a local cafe that I had not been to before and then walked through a nearby gardening store where I bought a cute golden pathos and koala plant accessory. Getting out with them got me out of my head and I got to laugh, talk, connect, complain, and share a part of my day with someone I respect and really enjoy getting to see. My time with them took my mind off my art frustrations and it was also a practice of being my real self with another person.

When I was driving back home, I decided this drawing would be my focus of my exploration of love today. I would go home and finish it, being mindful of the thoughts I had while drawing and give space for those thoughts and feelings. I'll be honest, it was tough and I ended up taking a nap after I was done. I felt bad that I hadn't been drawing as much, I felt sad that it didn't spark joy for me, I felt sad that it still didn't come out how I wanted it. I felt joy that I did finish it, that I sat in this space with myself.

And sitting with myself, I realized I was giving myself self-conpassion. Anytime a feeling came up, I spoke to it. The feeling bad about not drawing as much as I had before, I acknowledged that and thought, well maybe it's an art block, maybe I don't really draw during the winter season. Perhaps I lost my hyperfixation on art and my blorbos and that I was more interested in another hobby or focused on other things. I spoke with myself, telling myself I could start doing small sketches, I could start practicing just line art and learning how to do eyes (eyes are so hard!!)

And so today's act of love is compassion and recognizing when I'm frustrated and letting myself be frustrated. Letting myself continue on a piece that isn't coming out right and working on it just to get the feel of it. Recognizing that I don't have to be drawing every day, that I could have blocks of time where I don't draw, that I don't always have to be producing. And even when I do draw, find joy in the act rather than making a masterpiece. Sure, I will want to refine a piece, work on it until I feel happy with it, but do that with enjoyment and getting to go into the zone.

I think I need to tell myself it's okay to not draw if I don't feel like it. I do worry about ADHD and depression, that this could be a sign of losing interest in what makes me happy or that I'll hop around from hobby to hobby. I think that's where the self-compassion comes in, to sit with myself and ask, do I not want to draw because I feel sad, empty, hopeful, no interest in anything, or do I just not have an art idea I want to work on? And either way, giving myself love and space and acknowledgement that I'm valid either way and that I'll pick my pencil back up again.

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dracowars · 3 years

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LOVED YOUR TOM RIDDLE. Can I please request a arranged marriage au where yn is in love with him but he hates her so when she decides to let him go or someone else wants to marry her, Tom finally realises he’s in love with her. happ ending :))))

my heart belongs to you | tom riddle

pairing: tom x black!reader

word count: 3,3k

summary: where tom and y/n are in an arranged marriage

a/n: i'm so sorry for being so inactive recently, uni is taking its toll on me.. i had to do a bit of research for this one and also tom is a pureblood here!

warnings: toxic relationship, violence

universe: harry potter

“Get out of my sight, will you?”, he angrily snaps at you out of nowhere, for the third time already on this still very early day. Furiously, he stomps past you, pushing you to the side harshly, the filled glasses on your tray swaying dangerously. Knowing that you should just leave him alone, you stand there completely frozen at the door, still feeling the breeze on your skin after he stormed past you.

The glasses clink on the serving tray as you try to keep your trembling hands under control, but you terribly fail while tears shoot into your eyes. A lump forms in your throat and you gasp in desperation, losing your composure after hearing the front door slam shut.

Slowly, you slump down and therefore with a loud rattle let happen what could have been foreseen already: a thousand shattered pieces of glass scattered across the floor around you while you cower against the wall, your elegant dress pulled over your knees, your forehead leaning against it. Heavy sobs rock through your body and tears find their way down your cheeks, dripping from your chin onto the expensive fabric of your dress.

You just wanted to spend some time with him. Together, in the house of your parents, who went on a daily trip with their close friends early in the morning, all part of the most notorious popular pureblood families in the wizarding world – the Nott’s, the Macmillan’s, the Malfoy’s, the Lestrange’s. And if his parents were still alive, probably with the Riddle’s as well.

This is primarily the reason why you even are in this position right now; crying and huddled in the living room because your fiancé hates you profoundly.

After graduating from Hogwarts last year, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you, descendant of the pureblood Black family, got engaged to Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last living heir of the Riddle’s. He would offer you a good future, they said, and you would never have to worry about anything again.

But nobody knows that in reality, your own beloved fiancé really does not want to have anything to do with you. He does not even want to stay in the same room as you.

You can’t explain why he acts like this towards you. You do not know why he harbors such an abysmal hatred for you and any clear-headed, rational person would have done something about it long ago. Unfortunately for you, you feel the exact opposite for him.

Your heart belongs to him and only to him.

You have liked him since you first met him at Hogwarts, back in 1938, when the two of you were sorted into the Slytherin house. This initial friendly liking has quickly evolved into something more than that over the years and lead you to where you are now, at a point where you would have never seen yourself back then.

You have already tried everything to convince him that you are not as bad as he seems to think. Every morning you bring him his breakfast, you give him everything he needs. Even when you were still at Hogwarts, you always looked after him, finished his homework for him when he was too busy to do it by himself, and helped him pass all of his exams.

And not once did you hear a thank you. Not then and not now either.

Slowly gathering your thoughts together again, you rub the long sleeves of your velvet dress over your damp face, wiping away all of your tears before you get up on shaky legs and begin to clean up the mess that you have created. After you went back to the kitchen with the broken pieces and some injuries on your hands, your gaze longingly slides out the window.

Outside, the sun stands high over the magnificent garden of the mansion, making the clear water in the fountain shimmer in its bright light. A gentle breeze blows through the air and rustles through the perfectly cut trees that line a small path through the garden.

The loud, excited voices that suddenly roar through the house snap you out of your daydream and you quickly wipe the blood from your fingers before you step into the huge marble entrance hall. You arrive at the front door just in time to open it for your parents, who, to your surprise, did not come back alone. You are amazed to find not too familiar faces in front of you as they climb up the stairs to the door where you are still standing.

“And that has to be Y/N. Oh, how you have grown!”, an older man smiles friendly at you and you return his smile with a certain uncertainty in your face.

“Darling, we brought guests over for dinner today. You surely remember the Lestranges?”, your father announces happily and only now do the faces that you have seen at numerous balls and celebrations seem familiar again. Especially one.

“Reinhard?”, you ask in amazement when you spot him standing behind his parents, a big smile on his face when he sees you.

“Y/N, how nice to see you again”, he grins, carefully pushing his way past your parents in order to slightly bow venerably to you, taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. “It has been some time.”

“I am sure you have a lot to tell each other”, your mother mentions in a sweet voice, but before she can continue, she watches how your facial expression changes from one second to the other as you look past them, out into the yard.

Next to the carriage with which they have returned, Tom is standing now, petting one of the splendid noble white horses before he joins all of you.

“Tom! There you are, I was already wondering where you went”, your father says, visibly pleased when he too spotted his future son-in-law, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“Reinhard?”

“Tom?”

Within a few seconds, the two former best friends lay in each other’s arms, obviously happy to finally see the other again.

“Let us go inside. We want to show you our newest masterpiece of art in our wonderful collection, come on”, your mother announces happily and leads the Lestranges inside, but not without turning around to you once more. “The children can catch up on what they have missed.”

“I can’t believe it! You are really here, Tom. Man, you look even better than at Hogwarts”, Reinhard laughs, playfully pushing Tom to the side while you watch them in silence. “What are you doing here with the Blacks?”

“They kindly took me in”, Tom lies to him and for a moment you think he threw you a glance out of the corner of his eyes after uttering these words. His statement makes Reinhard realize that you were still there with them, who had apparently completely forgotten that you were even there.

“I am so happy to see you again, Y/N!”, he grins and takes a step closer to you, probably to be able to take a closer look at you. “Still just as beautiful as I imagined. And just as smart, I guess?”

Reinhard’s sudden compliments make you blush and your cheeks glow, which is why you nervously avert your gaze from him, directly falling on Tom, who looks at the scene in front of him with incredible resentment.

Unlike Tom, Reinhard was always there for you. You spent a lot of time together in your school days and if your parents had known about your close friendship, you are sure that he would have been your fiancé by now. Which, to be honest, does not sound bad anymore right now.

And yet your heart still belongs to Tom.

When you all sit together at dinner later in the evening, where your parents are talking about irrelevant things like Ministry of Magic, you keep making eye contact with Reinhard, who seems to be staring at you.

“Is there something on my face?”, you ask uncertainly and put your glass back on the table when you can no longer bear his piercing gaze.

“No, no, not at all. I was just wondering how a beautiful witch like you could have become so much more stunning”, Reinhard winks at you, causing you to swallow hard. You are not used to getting compliments, especially not from a handsome young man like him. Before you can answer to him, however, there is a loud clink and you startle, your eyes immediately fixed on the cause of the noise.

The glass, which you have certainly placed far away from the edge, is now lying in your lap, the little liquid that was still inside now spread over your elegant evening gown. You move your chair back in shock when, in the corner of your eye, you see how Tom puts away his wand. And not only did you notice Tom just now, but the rest of them follow your gaze.

“Tom, darling, how about you tell our guests how you and our daughter got to know each other”, your mother suddenly prompts him, not even realizing that he has just deliberately spilled your drink on you. But why did he in the first place?

„I would love to“, Tom puts on a really believable smile that no one but you questions and starts telling them how you met and fell in love with each other. He tells one lie after another, explaining the web of lies that you have spun around you over time to make your relationship as credible as possible, at least in front of other people. And suddenly nobody cares about you or your still soaking wet dress anymore.

“What a wonderful story”, Mrs. Lestrange applauds and everyone else seems to be completely enthusiastic about Tom’s fairytale. To top it off, he then reaches across the table to take your hand in his, just like a real affectionate couple would do.

You lower your gaze as he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, trying your best to not show how uncomfortable you are. Oh, how much you wish that this were real, that Tom would actually treat you like this when you are alone, the same way as he does in front of your parents.

But he does not and deep down you know that he will never do.

“So, you are engaged?”, Reinhard scrutinizes the statement of his former best friend, his eyes focused on you suspiciously, as if he is expecting an answer from you and not from Tom. A slight pressure on your hand makes you flinch and look up.

“Y-Yes”, you force a smile onto your lips, whereupon Tom seems satisfied with your answer, letting go of your hand again with a - what seemed to you like a – disgusted expression on his face.

An uncomfortable silence spreads between the three of you, which is drowned out by the loud conversation of the adults on the other side of the table. Finally, making up your mind, you clear your throat loudly and get up from your chair, gaining everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds.

“Excuse me, I have to go freshen up for a moment”, you explain with a slight polite bow before turning away to leave the dining room.

“Reinhard, would you be so kind and help Y/N”, Mr. Lestrange asks his son, who stands up with furrowed brows, apparently just as surprised about this sudden request as you, but then follows you out into the hallway with no further objection.

“I really do not need any help, thank you”, you try to get rid of him as you walk up the large staircase leading to the first floor together, only wanting to be alone.

“Dinner like these are totally boring anyway”, he chuckles softly and shows no intentions of leaving your side any time soon, which is why you do not even try to search for further arguments. He follows you to your room where you are able to tear yourself away from him to put on a new dress while he waits outside in front of the door.

With an equally elegant burgundy red dress you step out of your room after a few minutes, Reinhard’s eyes greeting you with a sparkle.

“Wow”, he breathes out barely audible and takes you hand without asking to swirl you around, causing your dress to fly around gorgeously. Unintentionally, warmth rises in your face again and your hearts makes a barely noticeable jump inside your chest when he looks deep into your eyes after catching you back in his arms.

The loud clearing of a throat behind you makes you turn around in shock, only to see that Tom himself is now standing at the end of the corridor, not seeming very enthusiastic.

“We did not see you there, Tom”, Reinhard disguises his obvious nervousness with a laugh, acting like Tom had just caught you in doing something he should not have seen. Tom, however, does not even react to his words, but looks past Reinhard at you, his eyebrows raised meaningfully.

But when you do not move under his piercing gaze, his facial expression changes and he quickly approaches you, Reinhard instinctively pushing you behind him so that you can only see Tom approaching further over his shoulder. Before neither you nor Reinhard can say or do anything, Tom has already pulled out his wand and aims it directly at Reinhard, who flies back through the air only a few seconds later, hitting the hard marble floor at the end of the corridor with a thud.

“What the-?!”

“Come with me”, Tom orders, now standing directly in front of you. When you stubbornly refuse, he suddenly grabs your wrist to pull you away from there. No matter how much you fight against his firm grip, you cannot tear yourself away from him as he pulls you into the closest room, which turns out to be the library.

Once there, you can finally free yourself from his tight grip, but before you can reach for the doorknob to leave immediately, he locks the door with a spell. Angrily, you turn to him, despair written all over your stunning face.

“What is this supposed to be, Tom? Let me out of here, now!”, you command him in a loud voice, not caring if anybody can hear.

“What did he want from you?”, he asks you urgently and steps closer to you. Since the door is in your back, every possible escape route is blocked, and you are caught.

“We just talked to each other, you know. Like normal people do”, you answer irritably and cross your arms in front of your chest, not in the mood to justify yourself, especially not in front of someone who does not care about you at all and not after what he has done.

“But that did not look like it.”

“Tom, stop it.”

“You belong to me and nobody else!”

These words coming out of his mouth echo loudly through the dark library, his face wrapped in an eerie candlelight. Before you can even control yourself and fully process what he said, you severely slap him.

Frightened by your own horrible deed, you immediately pull your hand away, your gaze filled with fear, but the anger that keeps building up inside of you winning the upper hand after all.

“How dare you call me your property?!”, you scream in rage and tears form in your eyes because of your uncontrollable anger. However, Tom needs a moment to collect his thoughts after your heavy smack before he can answer you.

“You are my fiancé”, he spits out coldly, a touch of shock in his voice, apparently not expecting you to react like this.

“And that does not make me nowhere near your property! You never treat me like your fiancé anyway, so why now all of a sudden?!”, you bicker at him, your voice loud and constant, even though you would like to flee from this situation right away if you were able to.

But Tom does not have an answer.

“Fine, okay. If you have nothing to say to me, like you never have, then I will go back now and ask my parents to end this damn failed engagement and engage me with someone else who truly cares for me!”

Suddenly, without letting you time to catch your breath after your outburst, he presses you with your back against the door completely, his hands tightly grabbing your wrists, a little too tight for your personal liking.

“You mustn’t do that”, he softly whispers, his head lowered as if he does not dare to look you in the eyes.

“What is stopping me?”, you hiss, still full of anger and – probably for the very first time – hatred towards him.

But when you feel his lips on yours all of a sudden, all of these emotions evaporate and all that remains is your racing heartbeat, which is being repaired at this very moment. You never would have thought that at some point in your life the moment would come when Tom Marvolo Riddle, who absolutely loathes his fiancé, kisses you.

After kissing you, he looks straight into your eyes, and the Tom you met in 1938 is standing in front of you again. The Tom you fell so deeply in love with.

“I can’t explain it to you”, he finally breaks the silence, his gaze directed to the floor as he moves away from you, giving you enough space to breathe regularly again. You, however, do not say anything but just stare at him.

“I was not aware that I am capable of feeling such feelings for someone. I am unfamiliar with this feeling and I did not know how to deal with it, Y/N. I treated you badly because I did not want it to be true, I did not want to accept it. I could not imagine having feelings for the little nuisance that has always been running after me”, Tom explains, choosing each and every single word very carefully, trying to put his emotions into words which does not really work the way he would like it to. But that is how you know him. You know that this confession must be extremely difficult for him, but you can’t help but feel a sense of relief inside of you.

“When?”, you ask and manage, with this tiny little word, to make him look up at you. “When did you know?”

“Since I have been here. You served me every day and took care of me, even though I wanted to push you away from me with all of my might. You have already helped me so many times in the past without me even asking, you have always accepted me for who I am”, he desperately tries to but his feelings into words, asking himself what he is even doing right now.

“Tom..”

“No, I have to sincerely apologize to you. I had no right to treat you the way I did. And also today.. when I saw you with him and how well you got along, it finally became clear to me. Reinhard has felt something for you since our school days, I know that even though I could never understand, but now I do. I understand why he fell in love with you”, Tom continues without breathing, pouring out all of his feelings that he has hidden for so long.

“I understand if you want to dissolve this engagement and I will not stop you if that is what you want”, he quickly adds, looking at you with desperation in his eyes. He already prepares himself for the worst when you are the one getting closer to him this time.

“Idiot”, you smile slightly and place a gentle kiss on his lips while he looks at you puzzled. “I love you, I thought you knew that.”

“I know, but-“

“But nothing”, you interrupt him and take his hand to lead it to your fast pounding heart. “It always belonged to you.”

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lilblueorchid · 3 years

Photo

Thought process and easter egg on the Digimon Anniversary Illustration!

Hello everyone, today I feel like explaining some stuff over my Digimon Illustration, mostly why I drew thing this way or point out some little details and easter eggs you might have missed. ;)

Click on read more if you want a LENGTHLY explanation with a lot of rambling from me, or if not you can just enjoy the process gif. <3

The Digimon illustration was a special one for me for different reasons. Firstly, obviously, Digimon! It was a show I grew up with, and I find it quite fitting that after a tough year of graduation movie under a pandemic, in which I really experienced the pain of growing up, I ended up finding back Digimon.

Secondly, as a child, I remember spending HOURS looking for fanarts online! I would save all the ones I found pretty and keep them preciously, i still have the folders actually haha. While pursuing art, I always had in mind thatI wanted one day to make a fanart my child self would have gone crazy over! And, i think I achieved that with that one haha.

Anyway LET’S START! Shall we?

First off : the illustration process

When I do an illustration I always do a quick draft first, and most of the time, in colors. I think I’m more of a “color” person than a “line” person, I tend to need to see colors quickly in order to see if it’s ok.

For this one, I’ve always had in mind it would be a double illustration, with the older Tai’s silhouette acting as a frame for the children illustration. It was a bit tricky, I had to make the children illustration fit nicely into his silhouette, it was hassle around the neck area, that’s why I made little Taichi stand up haha. Also used Mimi’s hat to balance the picture : the bottom part is very heavy and there’s only sky in the upper part, adding the hat helps making it more balanced.

The character were the longest and the most challenging part by far. As you can see I had 3 different steps : super rough, they’re almost like stickmen and smiley face, a more detailled one in which I figure out their actual pose and anatomy, then a last one in which I fix some proportion, add details and clean. Fun fact I don’t clean over a new layer... i just erase the unwanted part of my sketch. :’D

I did a quick pass over the BG after that, then I colored the characters in flat colors before rendering them. It was a back and forth between the BG and the characters to make sure everything was working together nicely.

Now was the time to render the BG, I did the tramway first, the flower field after. Fun fact, I did my flower field study in order to know how to approach the flowers in this illustration! If your have the time, i totally recommend finding a photograph close to the kind of BG you wanna do, and make a study of it so you can try your hand at it first and go into your own BG later with an idea of how to approach this.

Adjust colors, add flower petals and butterflies and emotional text, slap over a paper texture, and THERE. You have it! On to the next part now...

The meaningful details and easter eggs

Be aware there will be spoilers for Digimon Adventure 01 (but I assume you already know it), but also for Digimon Adventure : Last evolution Kizuna, which is the conclusion of the first serie. So read at your own risk!

The tramway is obviously a reference to the end of Digimon Adventure 01. The kids used it to go back to their world, so It was their goodbye to their Digimon at this moment. In Kizuna, Tai and Matt find the tramway trapped in crystal in Menoa’s fake memory world. Hinting that had they been caught by her, their memories would have brought them back here.

Tailmon has Kari’s whistle! At the end of Digimon Adventure 01, Kari gives it to her as a memento.

When I drew Sora, I had in mind how she was in Kizuna, very stressed out by her mom’s expectation, which led her to neglect Piyomon. She realized it too late, and after that she refused to fight because she wanted to keep Piyomon with her as long as possible. Tragically, she was the first one to lose her Digimon. Here I tried to convey a softness and a kind of “I won’t forget to appreciate you” vibe in the way she holds Piyomon’s hand. As for Mimi and Palmon, in Digimon adventure 01 Palmon was very emotionally affected by Mimi’s departure, so, a hug was fitting. :’)

The screens on the Tramway display DA for Digimon Adventure, and also 01.08.1999 which is the date of the children’s journey’s beginning. :)

The little drawings also show the 8 crests.

There are butterflies flying over the illustration, it’s a reference to Butter-fly, the first Digimon opening, by the late Koji Wada.

"I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind, I'll come and see you soon. “

Now, let’s the see the counterpart of the illustration. The one with the grown up Tai from Kizuna.

I made him wear the hoodie he had in his very last adventure with Agumon.... but truthfully the reason is that I think hoodies are cool lol. And the hood’s volume gave me more space in the silhouette, which made it easier for me to do the other illustration inside.

You don’t see it clearly, but he is holding his Digivice, albeit the darkened version once his partner bond with Agumon is broken. The Tai in this illustration has already lost Agumon. (Yes it was painful for me to go fetch the screenshots)

He is also holding his dear signature google he used to wear as a child. Fun fact, I rewatched the older movies, and as a kid he even used to sleep with it, how cute haha.

Also yes, the crest of Courage over his hand, which is his own. I’m so dumb I realize I should have made the time counter from the movie instead of the crest for a maximum emotional hurt impact.

And the quote is from one of the trailer for Kizuna, I think.....................

But then you go : Oh that illustration is so depressing then! Well. Yes. But no. but yes. But not really.

One of my favorite shot of the movie is this one : this is after Tai and Agumon learn their time together is limited. Agumon asks him if they will have to go separate ways once Tai is all grown up. Tai doesn’t answer, and takes him to eat something instead, as Agumon was hungry. In this shot Agumon eats to his heart content next to Tai, who’s not eating at all and just watches him fondly. I love that the framing doesnt show agumon. It’s a foreshadowing of their unavoidable separation.

At the very end of the movie, Tai write in his thesis about Human and Digimon’s relationship that Agumon was like a part of himself.

In a way, Agumon symbolizes childhood, the carefree days we would spend as a kid, with our big dreams and hopes. When you grow up, you tend to forget those simple emotions because you get swallowed into the stress of studies, figuring out your carreer, your life path. Just like us, Tai forgot this part of himself. In the madness of growing up, he lost Agumon.

However, it’s not the end. He will pick himself back up. He will move forward in life despite his worries and incertainities, and he will find himself again. Therefore, he will find Agumon again. The kids in the illustration are waving goodbye, but it’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later. In the meantime, Tai is holding on to these precious memories, until they meet again.

#Digimon #Digimon adventure #Yagami Taichi #Digimon adventure : last evolution kizuna #illustration process #kinda analysis #listen im actually writing this for myself #I spend 4 days on that illu with a lot of feels and I need to write them down #This is basically what my close friends have to endure each time I get an obsession

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angelicyoongie · 4 years

Text

Out of the Woods (II)

— pairing: wolf hybrid namjoon x human f!reader — genre: fluff, angst, slight smut — word count: 5.5K — warnings: injury, blood, mentions of past abuse — summary: Promising Jihyo that you were going to stay away from your writing for one weekend had been easy in theory, but much harder to actually do once you reached the little cabin the woods. To make matters worse, the only thing that rivals your inability to keep promises is your terrible luck – and after a particularly bad choice leads you to get lost in the mountains, you suppose that it's only karma that you end up face to face with a wolf that looks ready to rip your throat out.

Part I / II / III

You stare at the hand wrapped tightly around yours as the wolf hybrid leads you down the rest of the slope. You can still feel the imprint of his chest against your back, the lingering heat from his body still wrapped around yours. The ghost of his raspy, smooth voice brushing over your ear, his words branded into your chest.

Please don’t leave me.

You wince with each step, the dull pain in your ankle growing harder to ignore. You can see the muscles in his golden arms tense as your step falters, the wolf hybrid’s grip tightening before you can stumble down the last stretch of the incline. He’s keeping your hand almost at height with his shoulders, making it easier for you to borrow some support as you hobble forward.

You keep yourself focused on his hand, on how his long and slender fingers are enveloping yours. They’re a little rough against your skin, but they’re still pretty. Your cheeks are flushed red as you limp forward, but you blame that on the near death experience you just had – and certainly not on the hybrid’s thumb absentmindedly running over your knuckles every few steps. And it’s definitely not because the man in front of you is completely naked. The close proximity means that the expanse of the hybrid’s broad back fills most of your vision, but you’re not willing to take any chances. His body isn’t there for you to ogle at. So, his hand is a good, safe, place for you eyes to latch on to. The hybrid clearly doesn’t have any qualms about his lack of clothes, and it makes you wonder just how long he’s been out here on his own – how long he’s been alone.

You swallow thickly as the ground underneath your feet begins to flatten out, the strain on your ankle becoming a little less painful. You can probably walk on your own now, but it doesn’t seem like the wolf hybrid has any plans of letting you do that, his fingers wrapping even more firmly around yours as you try to let go of his hand. You see a few faint marks on the inside of his wrist, but the angle his hold your hand makes it too difficult to make anything out. If anything, it’s likely just some scratches from the wilderness. You can’t help but notice that one of his gray ears seem to be permanently turned in your direction, only twitching when you let out little huffs of air.

He hasn’t spoken since he uttered those four words – not since he begged you to stay, and the only thing you could think to do was shakily step out of his embrace and ask him to bring you back down. You can’t stay. You're not quite sure why the realization makes you feel so torn. Sure, the hybrid has taken care of you, but you don’t really know him. Hell, you don’t even know his name. But still, your heart stutters painfully as you remember the desperation in his voice, the subdued whine that escaped his lips as you pulled away. The hybrid had only given you a curt nod in response to your request, his back turned to you and hand outstretched before you could even get a good look on his face.

You sneak a quick peek at his profile as he helps you along the path, your breath getting caught in your throat as you catch a glimpse of his strong jaw and oh no, is that a dimple? The wolf hybrid’s silver ears and messy hair compliments his sunkissed skin beautifully, and there is no doubt in your mind that this man must be stunning. Maybe it’s a good thing you haven’t gotten a good look at his face yet, getting weak in the knees sounds like bad plan when you’re already one foot down. You quickly push the thoughts away, turning your attention back to the forest in front of you. You swear something about it looks a little more familiar than before. You only need to hobble through the forest for another few minutes before you realize why.

The wolf hybrid has lead you straight to the lake you and Jihyo passed two days ago, the exact one you were trying to find when you managed to get lost. The weather might be slightly gloomier today, but it still looks absolutely breathtaking as you draw closer. The tension in your shoulders ease up as you realize just how close you are to the cabin, it probably won’t take much longer than an hour to get back even with your throbbing foot. Which is great, but the release of tension also makes you acutely aware of just how irritated your ankle truly is, and it feels like it might break clean off if you don’t get a break soon.

“Can we, uh, rest for a little while? My foot ..” You trail off uncertainly, watching as the hybrid’s head cocks in your direction. He stops in his tracks, ears swivelling around rapidly as he listens to the forest, his grip still tight around yours. He gives you another nod after a few seconds of silence, steering you carefully over to a fallen log. You close your eyes in relief as you sit down, a groan falling from your lips as you finally get the chance to alleviate the pressure on your ankle.

“Thank you,” You murmur, glancing down at your foot as you try to best position to rest it in. You freeze as you see the wolf hybrid’s bare feet out of the corner of your eye, heat creeping up your neck as you realize the position you’ve put yourself in. You’re at eye-level with his dick. There’s no way to look up at him without seeing it, and that’s not something you want to deal with right now.

“Here," You hastily shrug off your windbreaker, offering it out for the hybrid with a grimace, “you can use it to cover up.” Rough fingers brush over your own as the wolf hybrid grabs your jacket, presumably–hopefully–wrapping it around his waist as you keep your eyes firmly on the ground. You don’t dare lift your gaze until the hybrid sinks down on the log next to you with a huff, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest as you find his eyes already locked onto your face.

The wolf hybrid is beautiful. Your lips part open in surprise as you take in his face, the slight pout to his lips and the gentleness in his expression leaving you a little breathless. He looks kind. Sweet. You don’t understand how someone like him could be left out here all alone.

“I-I'm sorry,” The wolf hybrid cowers under your stunned gaze, his ears falling flat against his head. “Should I stay .. wolf? You upset,” His voice is hoarse and pained as he stutters out his words, his lips forming awkwardly around the syllables. The intention behind his words hits you like a slap to the face. He thinks you don’t like his human form, and he’s willing to turn back to not make you upset.

“No!” You blurt, “I mean, I’m uh, not upset. If you want to, please stay in your human form. It’s nice to be able to talk to you.” The wolf hybrid doesn’t quite seem to believe you, his ears pressing even flatter against his head as he shakes his head.

“What’s your name?”

The hybrid's mouth is pressed into a thin line, and for a second you think he might not answer, but then he mutters out a soft, “Namjoon.”

“Namjoon?” You echo, finding you like the way his name rolls off your tongue. The wolf hybrid’s ears perk up at the sound of his name, the bushy tail behind his back doing a startled wag as Namjoon’s eyes find yours. You give him a soft smile, rubbing your hands nervously at your thighs as you finally ask the question that has been burning away at your curiosity for the past few hours.

“Why are you out here all alone?” The muscles in Namjoon's shoulders tense at your question, the warmth in his golden brown eyes hardening into something you can’t quite decipher. The wolf hybrid looks ready to bolt any second, his eyes flickering around the forest as he says, “Ran way .. bad place. No going back.”

You detest that you’re not even surprised, that the mistreatment of hybrids is so common that it has become almost more normal than treating them like actual human beings. The wolf hybrid looks to be your age, maybe even a little older, and it makes your stomach drop to think about just how many years he must’ve spent out here in his animal form for speech to become this hard – for it to become a struggle.

“I’m so sorry Namjoon, it must’ve been hard being all alone up here,” Your fingers twitch against your thigh, resisting the urge to reach out for him.

“Not alone now, have you,” Namjoon’s raspy voice sends a shiver down your spine, the certainty laced with his next word making your heart skip a beat. “Pack.” The wolf hybrid carefully reaches out for your hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around yours as he watches your mind trying to process his words.

You know it normally takes a long time for a hybrid to consider someone, especially humans, to be a part of their pack, so the fact that Namjoon refers to you as his after only a few days leaves you stunned – and a little bit out of your depth. Then again, Namjoon’s situation isn’t exactly normal. Usually hybrids are much more in-tune with both their human and animal side, but from what you can gather, it doesn’t seem like Namjoon has tapped into his humanity in years. It would make sense for his animal instincts to be more dominant, for doubt and hesitation to take a backseat. But still, his pack?

You catch the slight motion as the wolf hybrid’s eyes stray to your neck, the memory hitting you at full force now that you realize the implications behind your actions. In the midst of your panic when you thought Namjoon was going to tear you limb from limb, you had bared you neck. You had submitted. And Namjoon had accepted you. You wince, sucking in a deep breath as unease swirls in your stomach. Even if you weren’t aware of what you were doing at the time, this is still your fault. You really want to fix this whole mess, but you fear that the one thing you can’t do for him, is the only thing the hybrid wants.

“Namjoon,” You hesitate as you feel his tail wag happily against the log, the words feeling heavy on your tongue as you say, “I can’t stay.” A lull falls over the forest as the rhythmic thumping stops, the grip around your hand slackening as the wolf hybrid hangs his head.

He keeps his eyes on the ground as he whispers out a broken, “Don’t go.” You feel your heart ache as you watch him open and close his mouth, the furrow between his brows deepening as he can’t seem to find the words he needs. “Take care of you. Please.” You think it might hurt less if you just let the wolf hybrid rip you to shreds instead, the pained desperation in his voice making you eyes sting.

“I’m sorry,” You mutter, “I need to go home.” The word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Home. At the start of your trip you couldn’t wait to return to your apartment, but when you really think about it, have you ever truly considered it home? Sure, you've managed to make it nice and cozy over the last years, but there’s no warmth there, no sense of belonging. Still – you can’t stay here in the mountains.

Namjoon’s ears are pressed flat against his head, his expression turning blank as he withdraws his hand. “Okay,” The wolf hybrid’s jaw is tense as he stares out at the lake, his gaze empty and distant. You ignore the throbbing in your foot as you clamber back up to your feet, taking a few steps forward as you take in the sight of the lake for the last time. The scattered wildflowers don’t seem as charming anymore, and the large body of water suddenly feels more imposing than welcoming. You freeze as Namjoon lets out a low groan, the sound suddenly transforming into a whimper behind your back. You nearly jolt out of your skin as something wet touches your hand, a warm breath spilling across your fingers as you look down. You meet Namjoon’s golden eyes, the wolf letting out a small huff before he nudges your windbreaker closer to your feet. You don’t know why it feels like a defeat that he transformed back, but you can’t shake the hollow feeling in your chest as you thread your fingers into his fur, jacket wrapped around your waist as he leads you back to the cabin.

The wolf’s ears starts to flicker a few minutes before you can pick up Jihyo’s frantic speech in the distance, the dark roof of the cabin coming into view. You’re a little off the trail, the forest much denser around this side of the clearing. Namjoon suddenly halts as he reaches the edge, and you wince from the extra force on your foot as you stumble to catch yourself. The wolf’s tail is tucked between his legs, a pitiful whimper filling the silence as you gently untangle your hand from his fur. You brush it down carefully, already missing the coarse yet soft hairs tickling against your skin as you take a step back.

“Thank you Namjoon,” You swallow around the lump in your throat, forcing your lips into a soft smile as you gaze down at him. The wolf turns his head back to the forest, golden eyes scanning the area before he quickly pushes his head against your hand, guiding your palm over the fur between his ears. Your knees go weak with fondness as you pat his head, the wolf swiping his tongue over the exposed skin of your wrist as you scratch behind his ears. It’s Namjoon that reluctantly pulls away first, his golden eyes soft yet sad as he pushes his snout one last time against your palm. He sits down with a huff, turning his head in the direction of the cabin. The message is clear; he’s not leaving until you are. The goodbye grows and dies in your mouth, your lips refusing to let it slip past as you look down at him. You spare him one last glance, trying to commit as much of him to memory as you can, before you stumble out of the tree line.

It only takes a few steps before you hear Jihyo’s shrill, “Y/n!” and you watch as your friend sprints across the field to meet you. Jihyo knocks into you so hard you nearly topple over, her arms wrapped around your body so tightly you almost fear she’ll squeeze you to death.

“Where were you? What happened? Oh my god, you’re hurt!–” You let Jihyo’s concerned rambling distract you from the empty feeling in your stomach, each step feeling heavier than the last as she helps you walk back to the cabin. You spare one last glance over your shoulder, hoping to maybe see a flash of silver through the trees, but there’s nothing.

Namjoon is gone.

And you’re both alone again.

It was all a rush after you returned. Jihyo had been searching for you night and day, a few of her father’s best employees helping out. The road up to the cabin had been cleared, so instead of having to trek down on your sprained ankle, Jihyo had whisked you away in a car with the destination set for the closest hospital. It took a while before you could collect your thoughts enough to tell her what happened, the words sounding ridiculous even to your own ears as you retold the story.

Jihyo had a deep frown on her face from the hospital to your apartment, uncharacteristically silent as she helped you to your couch. Sinking down on the mountain of plush pillows felt like heaven after sleeping on the ground for two nights, your limbs tired and aching. You really need a shower, but the temptation to rest your foot for an hour is frankly too strong. You watch as Jihyo raids your fridge for drinks and food, the frown not leaving her lips until you’ve stuffed your face with a sandwich.

“Why didn’t you just ask him to come with you?” You nearly choke on a piece of bread at her sudden question, quickly taking a sip of water to chase it down.

“What do you mean?” You croak.

“Well, it’s not like he specifically asked you to stay up in the mountains right? He only asked that you would stay with him. I’m not sure how much I like this, but he did take care of you, and he brought you back safely. If he wanted to hurt you he had many opportunities to do so,” Jihyo purses her lips, her eyes flickering around the room.

"You seem .. smitten. I can remember the last time you looked so fond talking about someone else. It seems like he already considers you to be his pack, so if you want to, I don’t see any harm in asking him to come home with you,” You feel a steady blush rise in your cheeks as Jihyo talks, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of having Namjoon here in your apartment. You couldn’t ..

"It’s not natural or healthy for hybrids to be alone and shifted for such a long time, so you would honestly be doing him a favour. Even if he doesn’t stay with you, he needs to get checked-up.” You find yourself nodding along to Jihyo’s words before you can stop yourself, her eyebrows rising in amusement. She is right, after all. Even if Namjoon doesn’t want to stay, it’s important to make sure he’s healthy. Even you go in for yearly check-ups, and you’re sure it’s been far too long since Namjoon did the same. You have to go back and find him.

“But–” Jihyo presses a finger to your chest, “you’re not going anywhere yet. The doctor said full rest for a week, so that’s what you’re going to do.” She shakes her head before you can protest, giving you a stern look as she says, “You’re in no condition to go after him now, you need to heal up if you want to find him again. I’ve seen enough animal planet to know that wolves have pretty big territories, and you won’t be able to cover that much ground with a sprained ankle.” You sink back down in the couch with a disgruntled sound, hating the fact that she’s completely right. You’ll have to wait until you’ve healed. You just hope it won’t be too late.

“Namjoon?” You wince at the rawness in your throat, your voice ringing through the silent forest. You’ve been out here for hours, but no matter where you go, there’s no sign of the wolf hybrid. You even managed to get back to the little cave Namjoon had brought you to, but that too was completely untouched. The only trail you had is dead. The area you’ve ventured into is much denser and harder to navigate, but you refuse to leave until you find him.

You grumble under your breath as a branch almost whacks you straight in the face, and you push it away with a little more force than necessary as you trek on deeper into the woods. Your ankle has healed up nicely, but there’s still a dull ache from the amount of walking you’re putting yourself through. The sprain wasn’t all that bad; it was mostly just the fact that you kept aggravating it that made it so painful. A week of rest did you wonders, and a little bit of discomfort is a price you’re more than willing to pay if it means you’ll find Namjoon again.

“Namjoon?” You call out again, halting in your tracks as you strain to listen for any sounds out of the ordinary. You let out a sigh at the silence that greets you, shaking your head lightly as you take a step forward. You freeze as your foot connect with the ground, a distant howl echoing through the forest. Namjoon.

You can barely even hear the second howl over the frantic beat of your own heart as you take off, stumbling and tripping over roots and twigs as you run in what you hope is the right direction. The mountain is disorienting at best, but you have no fear of getting lost this time. Jihyo made sure you would be properly prepared.

It’s not until the fourth howl that you realize two things – one, the sound is much closer than you anticipated, and two, it sounds pained. You urge your legs to move faster, your gaze shifting wildly over your surroundings as you call out for him again. You swear you see a flash of silver behind a cluster of trees, and you quickly switch your direction, running straight for what you hope is the wolf hybrid.

“Namjo–” You choke as you skid to a stop, your stomach dropping so fast it leaves you feeling dizzy.

Blood. There’s so much blood. Namjoon’s gray fur is stained with it, the hairs matted and red. You can see the rusted metal of an old bear trap clamped tightly around one of his hind legs, the bone snapped in an awkward angle. Oh god. A pained whine rips you out of your building panic, and the sight of the wolf hybrid attempting to drag himself closer to you despite the trap on his leg finally jolts you back into action.

“No no no, stay still!” You cry as you scramble forward, your stomach doing a dangerous flip as the metallic scent of Namjoon’s blood washes over you. The wolf hybrid is panting as you drop to your knees in front of him, his ears plastered against his skull as he lets out low whimper.

“It-it’s going to be okay,” You hear your voice tremble as you reach out for his head, gently cupping his cheeks between your hands. Namjoon lets the tension in his neck drop the moment you get your hands on him, his head heavy in your hold as you run your fingers over his fur. The wolf hybrid’s body is shaking, his golden eyes barely open as he lets out another whine. You have no idea how many hours he’s been like this, but it’s been too long. He's lost way too much blood.

“You’re going to be fine Namjoon,” You swallow down the bile in your throat as you shuffle around, shifting your hold to gently place his head in your lap. He immediately tries to shuffle closer, not giving up until he’s plastered against your stomach.

“Just, don’t shift, okay? Please don’t shift,” You hastily dig your burrowed phone out of your pocket, vision blurry as you type in Jihyo’s number. Seeing Namjoon’s human form might make it easier to gauge his injuries, but if he shifts while he’s still trapped, you have no doubt it’s just going to tear his leg up even more.

He lets out a whine as you hands leave his fur, his eyes almost rolled back into his head from the pain. The leg that’s trapped doesn’t even twitch, and Namjoon’s body feels horribly cold as you hurry to run your hands over his fur.

“Y/n? Did you find him?” Jihyo’s voice has never sounded more angelic than when she picks up the phone, you body sagging with relief.

“You can track my location, right? It’s Namjoon–” You force down the sob bubbling in your throat as the wolf hybrid whimpers at the sound of his name, the sound soft and weak. “–he’s hurt.”

“Excuse me,” You whip your head up at the sound of someone clearing their throat, a rather frazzled nurse standing in front you. “Are you here with the wolf hybrid? Kim Namjoon?”

“I am. Is something wrong?” You push out of the plastic chair with a wince, ignoring the queasy feeling in your stomach. It’s been hours since you arrived at the hospital, but the image of Namjoon’s blood pooling around his body doesn’t seem to want to let go of you just yet.

“He’s–" The nurse let out a deep sigh, “I think you need to come with me.” She turns on her heel, motioning for you to follow without another word. Oh god, what if he’s dead? The wolf hybrid had been rushed into an emergency operation immediately upon arrival, so there wasn’t much else that you could do than wait. Hope that he would be okay.

You hurry after the nurse, nearly tripping over your own feet at quick speed she keeps as she marches down the hall. You’ve barely managed to catch up when she halts outside a door, an exasperated expression on her face as she says, “We’re keeping him under observation for now and he’s not really supposed to have any visitors yet, but he’s being … difficult.” You jump as something clatters to the ground inside the room, the deep growl hardly even muffled by the closed door.

“He’s a still a little out of it, but not dangerous. You’ll see what I mean,” With that, the nurse pushes the door open, stepping aside to allow you entry into Namjoon’s room. You suck in a breath as you step inside, the floor littered with scattered papers and trays. Namjoon is perched up in bed, a heavy cast around his leg. Whatever they were trying to do, the wolf hybrid obviously wasn’t having it. He’s twisted towards the doctor by his side, the man keeping a good distance from the injured hybrid as he let out another harsh growl. You stare in shock as Namjoon bares his teeth, his posture rigid and tense as he eyes the doctor distrustfully. The doctor notices you before Namjoon does, a soft 'thank god' muttered under his breath as he waves for you to come closer.

“Hey Namjoon,” The wolf hybrids nose wrinkles just as your soft voice carries across the room, his ears springing up on his head as he shifts his attention to you.

“Y/n,” Namjoon’s eyes light up as he catches sight of you, his hands practically tearing up the bed sheets as he tries to untangle himself. The action feels awfully familiar to when he tried to drag himself closer despite the bear trap, and you have no intention of watching him trying to walk on his broken leg.

“I thought I told you to stop moving,” You rush forward before he can get himself fully out of bed, pushing him back with a firm shove to his chest. Namjoon falls back without protest, his wide eyes scanning over your face as a loopy smile blooms on his lips.

“Sorry,” He rasps as he engulfs your hand with his, keeping it tucked securely against his body. You can feel the steady thrum of his heart against your palm, beating in rhythm with the soft beeps from the monitor he’s hooked up to.

“We were trying to explain to Mr. Kim that we need to do some tests, but he doesn’t quite seem to share the same sentiment,” The doctor glances back towards the door as a the nurse brings in a new tray of equipment, a weary frown on his face as he picks up a shot. The growl builds in Namjoon’s throat so fast you nearly jump out of your skin, the hold he has around your hand feels like he’s two seconds away from snapping it in half.

“It’s okay, it’s just some standard shots,” You hesitantly bring your hand up to his face, slowly turning his head back in your direction.

“You haven’t had check-ups in a while right?” The wolf hybrid shakes his head, his ears twitching as his attention flickers back and fourth between you and the doctor. “It’s just to make sure you stay healthy.” Namjoon nuzzles against your hand with a soft whimper as you run your thumb along his cheek.

“Makes me feel .. bad. Sleepy,” Namjoon’s speech seems to flow a little easier than it did a week ago, but the struggle to find the right words is still there, his brows furrowing in concentration as he whispers, "Don’t like it.”

You swallow thickly, your stomach in knots as you ask, “Did your owner give you those? The shots that made you sleepy?” The wolf hybrid makes a low sound of agreement, his ears turning back. The marks on his wrist you couldn’t figure out, they’re needle marks. You’ve heard of it before, how some owners would drug their more exotic hybrids to keep them calm and docile – to silence the part of their genetics that make them so unique. You glance down at Namjoon, the wolf hybrid staring up at you with so much vulnerability and trust that the thought of someone taking advantage of that it makes you feel ill.

“These won’t make you feel that way, I promise.” You muster up the warmest smile you can manage as you peek over at the doctor, a silent plea in your eyes.

“Oh! Don’t worry Mr. Kim, there are no side effects to these shots. You’ll hardly even notice it,” The doctor quickly adds as he takes a careful step forward. Namjoon lets out a slow breath, golden eyes finding yours and his tail draping across his lap as he grumbles out a hesitant “Okay.”

“–All done!” You can see the doctor’s shoulders visibly drop as he finally gets the chance to move back, obviously relieved to put some distance between himself and Namjoon. “I’ll be back later to check on your leg and make sure everything is okay.” The sour expression on Namjoon’s face softens as the doctor hurries out the door, the grip around your hand loosening slightly as it clicks shut behind him.

“May I speak with you outside alone for a minute, miss?” You look up at the nurse as she finishes placing a band-aid on Namjoon’s arm, the empty shots rolling around in the tray as she picks it up.

“Oh, sure,” Namjoon lets out a whine as you try to step away, lips formed into a soft pout as you gently extract your hand from his grip. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back,” You give his shoulder a squeeze before you follow the nurse out, shooting Namjoon what you hope is a comforting smile over your shoulder. The wolf hybrid keeps his eyes trained on you as you leave, his distressed gaze still burning into your back as you close the door behind you. You only take a few steps down the hall before the nurse turns to face you, her expression troubled as she looks you up and down, “I take it he’s not your hybrid?”

“No, he’s not,” You quickly shake your head. “I came across him up in the mountains. He said he ran away from his old owner, and that it was a ‘bad place’. I’m pretty sure it must’ve been a couple of years at least,” You wince. The nurse nods, her gaze shifting around the busy hallway as she thinks.

“I’ll have someone look into it. We need to settle his hospital bills, and only his legal owner can do that.” She must see the way your face drops, because she quickly adds, “I could tell from his old scars that he’s likely been abused. Even if we find his owner, they’re not going to be allowed to take him home. It’ll be looked into.”

“Right, thanks.” You muster up a weak smile. You know how these things go. Even if there’s an investigation, the police are too easy to buy off. There are frankly too many cases like Namjoon’s, and too few cops that actually treat their abuse seriously.

“Can I stay with him until his owner shows up?”

“It’s a little unorthodox, but yes, you can. I don’t think he’ll actually stay inside his room if you don’t.” The nurse lets out a huff, a flash of amusement in her eyes as she waves for you to go back inside. “I’ll let you know once we figure it out, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“Thank you.”

Turning to face Namjoon’s door, you try to shake off the anxious feeling festering in your stomach. You’re not going to let him go back to his old owner. You’re honestly not even sure how you’ve managed to grow attached so quickly, but there’s just something about the wolf hybrid that makes you ready to fight tooth and nail for his safety and happiness – even if it means he won’t find it with you.

a/n: ahah heyy ... let's just ignore that it took me two months to update this, okay? thank you aksjsk. i decided to split the last part into two, to give myself more time to write a little bit of extra fluff (and smut)! so the third and final part is hopefully coming next week, but if not, it will at least be posted by the end of november. namjoon's speech will get better in the next part and we will learn more about him + his and y/n's relationship will grow! if you like the story then please drop me a reblog/comment, that would mean the world to me! (ps. this story has no tag list!)

as always, see you all soon and stay safe! <3 and in case you enjoy my stories and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here! 💖

#hybrid bts #hybrid au #namjoon x reader #hybrid namjoon #wolf hybrid namjoon #hybrid!bts #bts au #bts fluff #bts angst #hybridbtsnetwork #bts x reader #out of the woods

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plan-d-to-i · 3 years

Note

(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

#This is long af because I wanted to have one post where I included everything #I’ve bitched about jc’s behavior in the cloud recesses for a long time so it was time to put down the quotes #mdzs #Cloud Recesses #Lan Wangji #Wei Wuxian #Nie Huaisang #jiang cheng

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andvys · 3 years

Text

New friend (part 3)

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader

A few months into staying in Jackson, you’ve had the best time. Having a roof over your head, food at all times, being able to take hot showers and sleep in safety was something you never thought you would have. You grew up in this world, hearing stories from how it was before the outbreak from the older people, you used to envy that. Wishing for a bit of normalcy, which you got now, you were so happy and thankful that you met Ellie and decided to trust her and go with her. You haven’t been this happy in such a long time. You just wished that the people from your old camp were alive and safe somewhere, hoping they found something similar to Jackson.

You tried different jobs, you tried gardening, working at the stables, helping Maria organize some stuff. You figured patrolling would be more your thing, you’ve been out there for so long you knew how to handle yourself, letting your survival skills go to waste like that while being copped up behind the safe walls of Jackson would be a waste. So that’s what your job was now. You’d mostly been patrolling with Joel, learning more about him and his relationship with Ellie. You found him a little intimidating at first but you liked the older man, he was nice to you. You mostly talked about music, telling him all about your favorite bands.

Right now you were just coming back from a long patrol, currently riding on your horse right beside Joel, about ten minutes away from Jackson. The sun was beginning to set, the spring air getting a little fresher with the light wind blow against your face, you sighed, closing your eyes for a second, enjoying this moment, it was nice to be outside. Sure you loved being in Jackson but you also loved being outside, you loved nature, it always gave you a calm feeling.

“You miss it?” Turning to Joel, he was watching you curiously. “Being outside.” He added.

“I mean, yes and no. I love Jackson don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for the opportunity to live there. It’s safe and I haven’t felt safe in a long time but being outside gives me the feeling of freedom you know?” You looked at Joel, he nodded at that, understanding what you meant.

“But I know what is out there and I don’t want to live this life again.” You added.

“I get it kid, I felt like that too when Ellie and I got to Jackson but I would just think about what’s out there and compare it to the safety in Jackson, I would never want to get back outside again. You’ll need some time to get used to being behind walls but it’s all gonna be okay.” He gave you a smile. You smiled back at him, nodding to that.

“I see you made some friends too.” He was referring to Ellie, Jesse and Dina. “Ellie cares a lot about you, she constantly talks about you when she comes over.” Getting shy at that, you hoped he didn’t catch your awkwardness because of the last sentence.

“I.. yeah.. I.. umm.. I care about her too. Ellie’s amazing, she saved my life that day, I owe her.”He smiled at that, seeing you getting a little embarrassed about him telling you that Ellie talks about you, he knew there was a little more than friendship between the both of you.

From what Joel has seen from you so far, he liked you the most out of Ellie’s friends. Despite being out there for so long, probably encountering the worst people and going through things no one should go through, you were still a positive person, you were nice always cracking jokes with him whenever you were patrolling with him. You could also stand your ground, killing clickers and stalkers as if it was the easiest thing in the world, Joel knew that Ellie would be safe with you if something happened, even though he knew Ellie can handle herself, it was nice to know that someone was there to protect her in case something went wrong.

Arriving at the gate, it was opened for you. You went inside, both you and Joel got off your horses. Smiling at him you told him you could bring the horses back to the stables.

Shaking his head at you he gave you small smile “I got it, someone’s waiting for you.” He looked behind you.

Furrowing your eyebrows, turning around you saw Ellie walking towards you from afar. Smiling you turned back to Joel, “alright, thank you Joel. I’ll see you tomorrow have a nice night.”

“You too, (y/n).” He smiled at you, waving at Ellie he guided the horses back to the stables.

Walking towards Ellie, you noticed a worried look on her face.

“Hey stranger, I mis-“ not being able to finish the sentence she rushed over to you pulling you into a tight hug. You were confused about the sudden contact, hugging her back.

“Ellie? What’s going on?” You questioned, worried about her.

“I- what’s going on!? What took you so long? You were supposed to be back two hours ago, I was so worried about you!” She exclaimed, pulling back from the hug but keeping you close, holding your hands. Your heart almost burst at her being worried about you.

“I’m sorry Ellie, we had a few run ins with some clickers, there was a small horde we had to wait it out at one of the cabins.” You explained.

She nodded at that, “I was so worried something happened, I’ll ask Maria if she can assign us to patrols together, that way I won’t have to worry something happened.”

You could kiss her right then and there. She was worried about you just like you were always worried about her whenever she left for patrols.

“I’d like that Ellie, now let’s go home.” Taking her hand in yours she smiled at you, squeezing your hand she started guiding you back home.

You still lived with Ellie. You wanted to move out multiple times already not wanting to bother the girl any longer. Knowing there were some free houses but Ellie wouldn’t let you leave, telling you you should stay with her and that you weren’t a bother at all, you couldn’t decline that offer. You loved living with her and you loved her. You wanted to kiss her every night you went to sleep and you wanted to kiss her every morning she made you breakfast but you didn’t wanted to ruin the friendship. The way ellie worried about you all the time and the way she would hold your hand whenever you were uncomfortable, making you breakfast every morning, occasionally giving you kisses on your cheek was clear enough that it wasn’t just friendship but you didn’t wanted to mistake anything and ruin your friendship. You’d let Ellie make the first move.

Arriving home, she pulled you inside. Telling you to go take a shower while she would make you something to eat. This moment reminding you of the first time she brought you home. You felt so loved and safe with Ellie. Clearly she cared about you just as much as you cared about her.

After your shower you got dressed in some clean jeans and one of Ellie’s big flannels, stealing her clothes was your favorite thing to do, they were just so cozy and Ellie always told you how adorable you look in them.

Walking out of the bathroom to the smell of food, your mouth watering at that, haven’t eaten anything since breakfast you were happy to finally eat something.

You watched Ellie setting your plates down on the table. This setting reminding you of a movie you watched recently where a couple went out on a date to go eat dinner. You decided to tease her.

“This looks absolutely delicious darling, work has killed me today, are the kids asleep yet?” You grinned at her.

Ellie let out a groan but smirked deciding to tease you back “come on (y/n), you and I both know that I’d be the one going to work while you’d stay at home with the kids.”

You started laughing at that, “oh is that so Williams?” Sitting down looking down at the food, you were desperate to eat.

“Yup” she winked at you, sitting down opposite of you.

After you cleaned the dishes you let yourself fall on the couch beside Ellie where she was currently drawing something in her journal. Groaning you complained about the horde that you and Joel saw today but quickly changing the subject at the mention of Joel you remembered how he told you about a story he told you from back in the day. Ellie listened to you, she loved hearing you talk about Joel, it was important to her that you and Joel got along, she did plan on asking you out and making you hers. Zoning out she admired your face, the way you enthusiastically talked about patrolling with Joel and hearing all the stories the older man had to offer. The way your eyes lit up whenever you talked about something you loved or the way your lips curled up whenever you would manage to make Ellie laugh with your stupid jokes. Ellie was in love with you. You were special to her, it’s like she knew it right from the start even when you were covered in mud from top to bottom, she knew you’d be special to her. She could skip the dating part and marry you right away. She would do anything for you.

Right in the middle of a story you were telling Ellie you were interrupted by someone knocking on your door. Ellie realized she just completely zoned out while you were telling her a story, feeling guilty because she didn’t even know what you were talking about blaming your pretty face for that. She watched you open the door.

“Hey guys” Dina and Jesse walked inside. You and Ellie looked at them curiously.

“Umm what are you guys doing here?” Ellie asked. Not remembering making plans with them.

Jesse clutched his chest, acting offended “Ouch Ellie, can’t we come see our friends?” He wiped an imaginary tear away. She rolled her eyes at him.

Dina slapped his chest playfully “you forgot about it?” She looked back in forth between you and Ellie.

“Forgot about what?” You asked. Watching Jesse look for some snacks in your kitchen making himself comfortable on the couch next to Ellie once he found some almonds to eat.

“The dance! That was all what I’ve been talking about, are you guys even listening?” Dina exclaimed, looking annoyed at the both of you. “What were you guys doing?”

“Probably having sex, that’s why Ellie here is so red in the face.” You gasped at his words. Dina laughing at your reaction, she started to tease you too “ouuuhhhh you finally did it, it was about damn time you guys.” She winked at you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Ellie exclaimed. She was indeed red in the face, now even more so than before.

“You know I was just kidding about that but giving the blush on your face Ellie.... I thought you had something going on with that bartender (y/n)?” Jesse smirked at you. You rolled your eyes at him at the mention of the slimy bartender that kept trying to make moves on you.

“What bartender?” Ellie asked asked angrily, not having heard about a bartender before.

“Thomas right?” Dina asked. Great so Dina knew about him too but Ellie hasn’t heard from him yet? Did you like men? She was convinced you liked girls? She felt her heart racing, feeling like it was going to break any minute. Just thinking about seeing you with someone else made her want to throw up. She thought you felt the same way about her like she felt about you.

“He’s trying to date (y/n).” Jesse teasingly said. You stayed quiet, feeling awkward about this whole situation, you didn’t tell Ellie about it because you didn’t think it was relevant, you hated that stupid bartender and you were angry at your friends for bringing this up.

Feeling betrayed even though you weren’t even dating she grabbed her jacket, leaving her house quickly. She couldn’t stay there any longer, knowing she was about to start crying plus your silence wasn’t helping, making Ellie think you actually liked that guy.

Confused about her reaction you watched her leave, looking back at Dina and Jesse they looked just as confused as you are.

“What was that about?” Jesse asked.

“I have no idea, I should go check on her. You guys go have fun at the dance.” You said.

“Are you sure?” Dina asked. Looking guilty for what just happened. She knew about Ellie’s feelings for you, she didn’t think Ellie would be this insecure about the mention of someone else. You clearly weren’t even straight. Ellie had nothing to be insecure or worried about.

“Yeah go have fun, please.” You gave them both a hug. Grabbing your jacket you ran after Ellie trying to catch up with her. You saw her walking down the street.

“Ellie!” Ignoring you she kept walking.

“Come on, Ellie wait!” She listened this time, stopping. You finally got to her.

“Ellie what’s going on?” You grabbed her shoulders, turning her around you noticed she had tears running down her face. Shocked at that, you never saw Ellie cry before.

“What’s going on Ellie?” You worriedly asked, wiping away her tears.

“It’s nothing (y/n) go back to Jesse and Dina they’re probably waiting.” Tears falling down again. She angrily wiped them away.

“I don’t wanna go back, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, worried about her.

She mumbled a no, turning to walk away again, you grabbed her hand pulling her back again, not letting her leave.

Looking at her you waited for her to say something. She looked down, refusing to meet your eyes. “Who’s Thomas (y/n)?”

“I- what? He’s no one, he keeps trying to ask me out on a date” you said, confused about why she was making such a big deal out of this.

Annoyed at the mention of someone asking you out on a date she huffed.

“Do you like him?” She asked.

“Like him? I don’t even lik-“ Realization hitting you. “Wait are you jealous Ellie?”

Like a deer caught in the headlights, staring back at you she couldn’t get a word out. Feeling embarrassed about this whole situation she looked down on her shoes.

Grabbing her chin you made her look at you. “Ellie?”

“Yes” she said.

“Yes what?” You asked.

“Yes I’m jealous, (y/n)” she looked away, knowing you knew now that she has feelings for you.

“You have no reason to be jealous Ellie. If you haven’t noticed I love you, like a lot and I’m gay like super gay, I don’t care about Thomas or anyone else, I only care about you.” You smiled at her.

Staring at you she didn’t know what to say, she didn’t expect this right now. She almost felt like she was in a dream, hearing you say that you love her was all she ever wanted to hear.

“I-“ not even letting her finish you grabbed her face, you leaned in to kiss her.

She looked at you wide eyed, shocked at the feeling of your lips moving against hers. She closed her eyes, she grabbed your waist pulling you closer to her she kissed you back. The kiss even better than what she imagined it like to be. Your lips were soft, she could get used to this. Pulling away from her, you looked into her eyes. She gave a second to catch your breath she pulled you back in for another kiss. Her hands moving from your waist towards your face, stroking your cheek with her thumb, you stayed like this for a while.

Pulling back she kissed your nose, “I love you (y/n) no actually I’m in love with you” looking at you, she smiled sweetly at you.

Smiling back at her, happy about her confession. “I’m in love with you too Ellie.” You pecked her lips.

Ellie wanted to cry out of joy, she was so happy about you confessing your love for her.

You pulled her into a hug, kissing her neck.

Pulling back you brushed some hair out of her face, just when you wanted to kiss her again you heard something coming from the bushes behind Ellie, looking over her shoulder you saw something moving, Ellie watching you curiously turning around to see what you were staring at. She pushed you behind her, protecting you from whatever it was. She told you to stay quiet, grabbing her knife she walked towards it.

Suddenly hearing a quiet “ouch” followed by a “stay quiet” you both looked at each other understanding who was behind those bushes.

“Jesse, Dina we know you’re behind those bushes.” Ellie annoyingly said rolling her eyes at her childish friends.

They got up, coming around from the bushes they grinned at you. You started laughing at them, Jesse had leafes in his hair and Dina looked annoyed about getting caught.

“Why aren’t you at the dance?” You asked them.

“We wanted to watch you guys confessing your love for each other, that was pretty cute not gonna lie.” Jesse said.

“Yeah and then you had to ruin their moment” Dina annoyingly said.

“You’re just mad that you lost the bet.” Jesse said smirking at his girlfriend. “Whatever.” Dina grumbled.

You and Ellie looked at each other confused.

“What bet?” Ellie asked.

“Dina and I had a little discussion about you two. I said (y/n) would make the first move and Dina here” gesturing to her “said Ellie would make the first move, so we decided to make a bet.” Jesse explained.

“I’m disappointed in you Ellie, I thought you’d confess first.” Dina said with a disappointing face.

“Technically we confessed at the same time.” You said, shrugging.

“Nope you confessed first (y/n) and that’s final.” Jesse said.

“What does the winner get?” You asked curiously.

Suddenly they both got quiet, avoiding your eyes. Ellie noticing their awkwardness she started laughing. “Hah you made a bet over sex, I’m guessing Jesse gets to choose whatever he wants.” Ellie said.

You started laughing too, now it was both of you teasing them instead of the other way around.

“Very funny guys, ha ha.” Dina mumbled annoyed.

“It’s okay babe, let’s leave the gays alone now, they got some stuff to do.” Jesse wiggled his eyebrows at you smirking. Grabbing Dina’s hand he started, walking back. “Bye Ellie, bye super gay (y/n).” Dina yelled out from afar.

“Ugh why are we even friends with them?” Ellie asked.

Laughing at that, “they’re the worst but they’re funny I guess.” Nodding at that Ellie pulled on your hand, walking back home. You enjoyed the quietness of the night.

“Hey Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

“Even if I was straight, I’d turn gay for you.” You grinned at her.

Ellie laughed at that. “I’m glad I have that effect on you.” She said proudly.

Stopping her, you pulled on her hands turning her to you, you put your arms around her neck, she put her hands on your waist, she leaned in to kiss you, staying like this for a while under the night sky enjoying the slightly fresh spring air, kissing your lover, what more could you ask for.

You found each other and you’d have each other for the rest of your life’s.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #tlou imagines #tlou

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

Love Pages

➜ Words: 18k

➜ Genres: 60% Angst, 40% Fluff, Yandere!AU, Inspired by Death Note

➜ Summary: You've always had feelings for Park Jimin, star soccer player and cute boy-next-door. But it's been unrequited for years and you expect it to continue that way. Or at least until a certain notebook falls into your hands.

➜ Warning: toxic relationships, loosely implied smut, some victim blaming. This is not your typical love story.

The more he ran, the deeper you fell. You couldn’t help it. Not when the breeze was whisking through his dark strands, sweat was rolling down his face and his brows were furrowed in concentration. To some, it looked like Jimin was just playing soccer — a mischievous boy kicking a ball in the grassy field. But to you, it was much more than that. He was magic. Leaping through the air. Irises glistening each time the coach hollers and he smiles. The corner of his mouth tugged as his team members jump on his back. Jimin is the one who manifests the butterflies in your stomach. And that’s magical enough for you. “You’re drooling.” Jihyo is startling when she throws her arm over your shoulders and pulls you away, shattering your trance. She giggles as you scoff, finally tearing your eyes from the boy across the field. “No, I’m not.” In spite of your denial, you check if you are indeed drooling and your hand wipes at the corner of your mouth. “You have it so bad for him, Y/N,” your best friend laughs loudly as you shush her. “Relax. No one’s gonna hear. The whole neighbourhood’s gonna find out anyway if you keep staring at him like that.” “I am not staring.” “Uh-huh.” It’s clear she doesn’t believe you. “Are you actually going to talk to him or keep looking and making it obvious.” “What would I even talk to him about, Jihyo?” “I don’t know. You’ve been crushing on him since what? Eighth grade? Shouldn’t you know what he likes by now? What do nerds like?” “Jimin is not a nerd,” you defend futility and end up sighing a moment later. Jihyo has a point. But whenever it comes time to strike a conversation, your brain empties and all you can think about is how he’s actually paying attention to you. The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to say, you just don’t know how to say it. “I always end up getting too nervous and make myself look stupid.” “Need my help?” “No.” You glare as she grins. You know Jihyo’s definition of help is screaming his name for the entire school to hear. The whole soccer team would turn their heads as she’d wave and point to you. She did that once and you were beyond mortified. Thankfully, Jimin was considerate enough to smile and wave back. The two of you begin turning and walking away before you’re late for library duty. “I’m just saying, there’s only four months left before we’re graduating for good. What’s there left to lose?” “My dignity.” “I thought you didn’t have any.” You throw a weak punch, but Jihyo dodges out of the way and laughs. You know your best friend is merely trying to help. It’s not like you like being this hopeless anyway. But you’re aware that even if Jimin spares a moment for you sometimes, you’re nowhere near his league. As you pass by the bleachers, your peripheral vision catches Jimin looking your way. Immediately, you turn your head — heart stuttering. But then you realize he’s looking at Seulgi. The girl is standing at the front bleachers, sweater tucked into her skirt, cheering him on and waving. And he waves back with an even bigger grin. Jihyo doesn’t miss the interaction. You feel her hand on your arm, guiding you away quicker. “I heard Jimin and Seulgi have been getting close.” “Really? I haven’t.” Jihyo’s lying. The rumours are running rampant that he’s interested in her. You were hoping it wasn’t true, but of course he would. She’s popular and cute, and even dances. You can’t do any of those things. You can’t be those things— “Y/N?” “Sorry?” You blink hard, attention taken by the youthful librarian behind the desk smiling gently. “Are you alright, dear? Do you need to go home early?” “No.” You shake your head, feeling the weight of Jihyo’s gaze as well. “I was just thinking about something else. I’m sorry.” “It’s quite alright. I was saying how all the books have thankfully been shelved and all the things I needed to be cataloged into the computer system is done. Of course, it’s thanks to you two ladies helping me out recently.” The pair of you respond that it’s not a problem and she smiles before guiding you towards the back and flicking on the lights of the dusty room. “I was thinking we could tackle cleaning out the storage area today before we close up for the end of the year. It hasn’t been touched since the previous librarian.” She sighs. “I’ve been meaning to get it done but we’ve just been so busy.” Bookshelves on all sides and a table in the center, there are books without covers and ripped pages coating the surfaces. But it’s still not as terrible as that time you had to reorganize the entire science fiction section. That task alone took two weeks. Jihyo seems to agree. “It’s actually not that bad.” “We can probably finish it in a day or two,” you add. “You girls are more helpful than you’ll ever know.” The older lady breathes a big sigh of relief. “I was thinking we could inspect all of these and sort them into books that can still be used, donated or thrown out. I’ll run and grab you boxes so you can organize them. Oh and if there’s anything you’d like to take home, feel free to! Take it as a perk of volunteering to help out.” She smiles and you and Jihyo nod before getting to work. “Look at what I found.” Your best friend holds up a bright coloured book five minutes into it and you burst out laughing. The novel reads ‘You’ve Got A Dog in Me’ and aside from the ridiculous title, it’s completely tattered with a brown stain in the middle. “It looks like it’s some romance comedy. Whatever.” She chucks it in the garbage can and you notice an old guide on how to spank children from the fifties. It raises your brows and you throw it in the trash too. There’s a ton of books to go through, but you have fun looking at some of the ridiculous titles or synopsis with Jihyo. Some of them are able to be donated while others are in a good enough condition to be kept after the layers of dust are blown off. It’s clear that no one’s touched this storage area for years. The room is crowded, so with Jihyo at the front, you venture to the very back bookcase. You dodge stacks and bins, and squat down to the last shelf. Almost instantly, your attention is taken by shiny green spines that seemingly shimmer even in the dim lights. The books are large and heavy duty, requiring two hands to be pulled out with how tightly they’re stuffed into the shelf. But you manage. The first book reads ‘The Magical World Explored’. The second is ‘Dark Magic: Beginner Spellbook’ and the third, ‘17th Century Witchcraft History’. Latin and other symbols surround the titles and two of them are with small locks, the other without. Yet you can’t seem to open it no matter how hard you pull. What’s even stranger is that the textbooks are immaculate. It looks like they’ve been untouched. “What is it?” Jihyo asks at your ongoing silence and approaches with the same curiosity that twists to befuddlement you have. “Looks like something edgy you’d pick up on ebay for that witch aesthetic.” You burst out laughing. “I can’t even open this one. It’s like the pages are...glued together.” “Maybe they’re cursed,” she says jokingly and your next laugh is a bit more uncomfortable than the last. At the same time, the librarian pokes her head through the door, asking how everything’s going. You take the opportunity to ask her about the odd books. “Hmm, this is strange,” she muses, tapping her chin. “It looks like it’s from the previous librarian who worked at this school. I only met her a few times but she told me she was from a small village out in the middle of nowhere, so that’s where these probably came from. Anyway, she already passed away so I can’t give them back. If anything, just trash them.” “Okay.” You set them into the garbage can before continuing without thinking twice until there’s an interruption. “Excuse me?” There’s a familiar gawky boy with rounded glasses at the front desk. With the librarian busy on the other side of the library, you grab your best friend and quirk your head towards him. “Jihyo! Jihyo! It’s Namjoon!” “What?!” “Go help him!” Her face flushes pink. “No! Why don’t you?!” “Because!” You grin. “Didn’t you say that we have nothing to lose since we’re graduating?” “Don’t you know I’m all talk and no action?” Her last syllable is a squeal when you nudge her forward and out the side door where she stumbles into his line of sight. Jihyo throws a glare over her shoulder before she clears her throat. “Is there something you need? Or are you here to bother me again?” Namjoon smiles. “Both.” You watch the cute interaction for a moment before leaving to give them some privacy. Humming to yourself, you resume inspecting and sorting the books, turning to the back shelf again. And as you clear it out, you grab a stack of novels at the top shelf. Inadvertently, something topples on top of your head. Luckily, it’s thin. Not painful whatsoever. Merely flopping to the carpet— A pastel pink notebook and in small text at the front, simple words read ‘Love Pages’. It draws you in. Bewitched. Unblinking. Unbreathing. A mysterious magnetism has you spellbound, curiosity coming within waves. So you reach down to grab it, fingertips grasping the very edges of the few pages. You flip it over to the back and your eyes skim the white text on the blushing cover:

The human whose name is written first shall fall in love with the human whose name is written second.

The Pages can only take effect if the writer has the person’s face in mind.

The only way the Pages’ powers can be removed is through erasing the names.

A name cannot be written first more than once at a time.

Warning: The more naturally compatible a couple is, the more effective the Pages shall be. The less compatible a couple is, the more likely undesired consequences shall arise. Utilize with caution. You’re confused. You wonder what kind of prank this is. Whoever did it had a really detailed and elaborate yet creative plan to fool someone. But you wonder if they accidentally left this notebook here. You’re not sure if the notebook should go straight into the garbage, so you toss it on the table and continue cleaning. It’s not long before you come across a crime novel you’re actually interested in and place it aside to remember to take home. And it’s not long before Jihyo’s coming back in with her backpack. “Hey, our shift’s over. She said we can finish tomorrow. Wanna go grab fries on the way home?” “Sure.” You grin. “How’d your talk with Namjoon go?” Jihyo smiles, the usual assertive girl grown shy under the topic. “How do you think it went?” You grab the novel and shove it into your bag haphazardly without looking. You don’t realize a certain soft pink notebook underneath that you’ve taken as well. // It’s evening by the time you get home. Tired and grimy from the long day, you beeline straight up the stairs to your room as your mother’s voice chirps from the kitchen. “Have you had dinner yet?!” “I already ate with Jihyo!” you call back before shutting your bedroom door. You swing your backpack off your shoulders as you collapse into your chair. Your desk is cluttered with loose leaves of your bored scribbles, college pamphlets and school forms you never read. The attempt to make your room pretty and aesthetic failed years ago with your messy tendencies, but what catches your eye as you look around is the candle of Bundled Roses Jihyo gave you for your birthday. Golden lid and shell pink container, you reach out and uncap it to dig the wax into your nose. Even after burning half of the candle already, it still smells good. You smile to yourself, placing the candle back in its spot next to the lighter. The desk lamp is switched on and you reach for your backpack to dump out your homework. In a few months, you’ll be freed from ever having to sit down and be forced to do quadratic equations again. Graduation was definitely something to look forward to. But as you spill the contents of your bag out, the crime novel and a certain pink notebook comes tumbling out. “Shit.” The Love Pages stares back at you. It’s tiny print letters on the cover are simple yet annoying. You didn’t mean to take it with you, but that mistake’s gonna cost you a walk all the way to the library tomorrow. Or you could simply dump it in the trash bin now. Dust your hands off. Call it a day. But for some reason, you don’t. You don’t turn to stuff it back into your bag. You don’t shift to drop it in the trash. Perhaps it’s on a whim, riding the wave of procrastination, preferring to delay homework for just another moment— You flip it open. Min Yoongi Kim Seokjin Amane Miki Jeon Jungkook Kim Taehyung Ellie Windsor It’s funny. In a strange sort of way. There’s an endless list of names spanning across the pages, each line consisting of exactly two but the writing is starkly different. For some of them, it’s clear that they were written by the same person. Straight lines, small letters, the occasional loops. Yet for others, it’s chicken scratch writing or scribbles, hearts drawn on the side, thin lead to thicker ones. It looks like the notebook’s been passed to lots of people in spite of its immaculate exterior. As you flip, you find faded names barely legible as if they’ve been erased. More importantly, there’s more than ten pages that have yet to be written in. For how silly and complex this prank is, maybe it’s a good luck charm. Maybe these couples actually got together and this notebook somehow fell into your lap as a sign of fate. Maybe. It’s ridiculous. But would it hurt to try? It’s not like anyone would know. Plus, you’ve doodled your name as ‘Park Y/N’ more times than you could count. Secretly, of course. Compelled and childish, you reach for the pencil on your desk. You flip to the next clean new page and recall the rules of the Pages. And you call to mind kind smiles, half moon eyes and a sweet voice. Your pencil loops his name onto the paper. Park Jimin L/N Y/N It’s done. Your breath hitches. You blink once. Then twice. But — nothing happens. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it’s not like Jimin’s going to fall in love with you simply because you wrote his name down in some stupid book. That’s not how love works. You shut the Love Pages and shove it away before cracking open your algebra textbook with a tired groan. // It’s early morning when you’re trudging along the path to school, rubbing your swollen eyes that you’re sure Jihyo will make fun of you for. But it’s not your fault that you ended up scrolling through your phone instead of tackling the chem assignment and forgetting that it was due today until you were laying in be— “Y/N?” It’s an unfamiliar-familiar voice. Unfamiliar in the ways that you’re still not used to it. That you haven’t heard it directed to you enough times. But familiar in the ways that you’ve always listened to it. That your ears always perked when you passed by him in the halls, trying to pick up on the sweet syllables that rolled off his tongue. You’ve always hung off every sentence that he had to say. Holy fuck. Park Jimin is looking at you. “Y/N?” And he’s smiling, tilting his head, eyes tender. He’s so close and if your mind could actually function, you would realize that he’s just standing there by the school entrance as if he was waiting for you. “Are you alright?” “Y-Yeah.” The word chokes out of you and you try to shake off your nervousness. You muster a smile as your heart begins to pound into your ears. “S-Sorry.” “Good morning,” Jimin tweedles with a growing grin. “Morning.” You start walking alongside him. “How’re you?” “Good. You?” “I’m good too.” Jimin’s eyes are crinkled and he steals a glance at you at the same time you do. It’s a moment that has your heart stuttering in your chest. “It’s been a while since we’ve talked.” You’re caught off guard, unable to believe this is happening. But his presence is more than welcome. In fact, Jimin doesn’t know that he’s already making your day. “Y-Yeah, it has been. How’s….soccer practice been?” “Really great actually. We have one more game left. We’re versing West Side this time.” “It’s the final match of the season?” “Yup! We’re all pretty excited. Everyone wants to win but even if we don’t, then we come in second place in the entire school district.” Your steps slow as you get to the front doors, still wanting to savour each second and luckily, he slows as well. Neither of you are eager to move on. “That’s incredible, Jimin.” “Y/N!” Right as the conversation is simmering down, Jihyo disrupts any awkwardness that might settle. She appears out of nowhere and swings her arm over your shoulder. Your best friend gives you a knowing look and then to Jimin. “Hey there, Park.” “Hey.” He smiles politely, then redirects his gaze to you. “I’ll see you later, Y/N.” “Y-Yeah. Totally. See you.” You wave, still struck and baffled by the interaction. Jihyo seems equally surprised as well. And once Jimin’s gone from sight, she nudges you roughly with a sly smile. “What was that all about? Did you finally grow some balls?” “No. He was the one who approached me,” you murmur, not sure what to say. You wonder if this is the Love Pages’ doing, but that’s impossible. It was merely a prank notebook made by someone bored. // It’s hard to focus in class with what happened in the morning. You keep replaying the scene in your head. His soft voice. The look in his eye. How he was standing around and his smile lit when he saw you. It’s a record, a movie, that’s played again and again in your mind. Soaking every second you couldn’t take in at the time. To some it might simply be mundane small talk, but to you, who’s always looked at him from afar, the butterflies are still tickling your tummy. The world has never been so rosy. It’s after class that your head is still in the clouds and you’re trying to repress your giddy smile to yourself. You’re holding your textbooks to your chest as you pass by the field, making your way home alone with Jihyo at her after-school anime club. She had a small interest in it but it only grew after befriending Namjoon there. As much as she likes to make fun of Jimin for being a nerd, Namjoon’s the real geeky one. But that only makes your best friend and him all the more endearing. You hope they get together soon. In the midst of your thoughts, you don’t notice the soccer practice going on. Not until there’s fast sprinting steps crescendoing to your left. “Y/N!” There’s an out of breath shout of your name and you halt with your eyes wide. Jimin’s panting as his team members disperse from the field. He grins. “I thought I saw you!” You’re stunned and watch as he wipes the sweat dripping on his forehead with his blue jersey. You blink hard, mouth full of cotton. Before today, Jimin never approached you when you were by yourself — most certainly never twice in a day. You’ve never had this much attention from him before. “I was worried you weren’t going to drop by like you usually do!” “Like...I usually do?” “Yeah.” He steadies his breath with a cheeky smile. “I’ve always noticed that you came to practice. Honestly, you’re kind of like my good luck charm. It feels weird if you’re not there.” Your brain goes blank. You process a single word at a time. And you manage one nod. “Hey…” Jimin scratches the back of his neck, cheeks blooming with a subtle hue. “Do you want to wait till practice is over? I want to walk you home. If you’d like.” “S-Sure…” “Park!” his coach shouts and Jimin whirls around with a grin. “Break’s over!” “Yeah, I’m coming!” Park Jimin’s smiling to himself as he runs back onto the field — leaping in the air, wind whisking through his dark strands. In the meanwhile, you’re left rooted to the ground, staring at his backside. Your face is on fire and the butterflies erupt all the way to your throat. It’s magic. “—hot dogs down at East road….” “You comin’, Park?” Kyungsoo looks at his team member, noticing the quietness of the soccer star. Jimin smiles before pulling the clean shirt through his head. “Nah. I have plans.” “With who?” another interjects. “Seulgi?” “No, someone else.” Instantly, obnoxious ‘ooh’s fill the locker room and he rolls his eyes with a growing grin before throwing his duffle bag over his shoulder and shutting his locker. Jimin exits and finds you waiting meters away. Jimin runs to you. “Sorry for you leaving you waiting!” “It’s okay.” The walk home is a bit awkward. You’ve never had anyone accompany you other than Jihyo before — most certainly not a boy, and not the person you’ve been crushing on for practically four years now. You clear your throat and steal a glance. “Is there a reason you wanted to walk me home?” “Why?” Jimin is immediately alarmed. “Did you not want me to?” “No!” Your eyes look into his, equally as rounded. “That’s not it. I’m...just not used to it, that’s all.” “Honestly.” Your steps are synced together and colour blooms on his cheeks. “I wanted an excuse to talk to you more and get to know you better.” “Oh.” “I guess you can say I realized the other day that we went to the same elementary, but I don’t even know you that well. You can tell me if you don’t want to—” “I want to,” you blurt before you can realize what’s coming out of your mouth. Jimin’s eyes are as big as saucers and he nods. At the same time, you frantically turn away out of embarrassment, not noticing the way Jimin was smiling to himself. The comfortable silence simmers between the pair of you as the sun sets over the horizon, painting the sky in a pastel tangerine hue. You can hear children on the playground nearby, see the other sidewalk occupied by a couple pulling along a stroller and the grandma in her front yard pinning up her laundry to dry. And as you savour the moment, the back of your hand accidentally brushes against Jimin’s. It’s soft and you flinch subtly before glancing down. Jimin must feel it too because he follows your line of sight and clears his throat. “Hey.” His timbre is husky and nervous. “Is it...okay if I hold your hand?” You answer with a bob of your head. And Jimin timidly reaches out, fingertips first, and then his palms clutch yours. Your hands are slotted together perfectly and you muse how soft his skin is. Heat rises to your face. Heart stuttering in your chest. Butterflies a whirlwind in your stomach. But unfortunately, the moment is all too short. “This is it.” You stop in front of your house and Jimin lets go of you. He looks at your home and smiles. “It’s cute.” “Thanks.” You pull open the gate, eyes diverted elsewhere lest he can see how flustered you are. “Well, I’ll see you later, Jimin. Thanks for walking me home…” “Wait!” he shouts when you’ve taken three steps and you spin around to see him scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, um, Y/N. Would….would you like to...like to go out sometime to catch a movie or get some food this weekend. I mean you don’t have to, no pressure.” Your mouth is twitching as you try your best not to scream on spot. “I’d like that, Jimin.” “Okay.” A cheeky grin spreads gradually into his cheeks, eyes crinkled into crescent moons. “I should probably get your number then…?” “Sure.” The exchange is quick and then you’re running into your house, stomping all the way up the stairs, ignoring your mom’s shout. You launch yourself into bed face first, mattress bouncing at the impact. While your limbs are sprawled out, you scream into your pillow with your furnace hot face. You roll around in your covers, kicking your blankets. Jimin just asked you out on a date. He asked you out on a date and he walked you home. Park Jimin walked you home and talked to you this morning. You’re certain your heart’s about to give out with how fast it’s beating, that the butterflies bursting in your tummy’s about to explode up your throat and out of your mouth. You can’t believe it. You rise up in your bed with your hair in a disarray and your bed ruined, and you look over to your desk where the pastel pink notebook is. You wonder if this is the Love Pages’ doing. // “You’re going on a date?!” Your best friend is taken off guard, but when you vehemently nod, her confusion is overcome with excitement. Jihyo engulfs you in a hug. “This is so fucking exciting! I’m so excited for you! Oh my god!” She squeals and you laugh, jumping together. “Do you know what you’re going to wear yet?” “I have no idea.” “I’ll help you.” She grins. “It’s going to be fine, you’re going to sweep him off his feet.” “Easy for you to say,” you counter, “Your crush already likes you back.” “Namjoon’s just a friend,” Jihyo sighs and then her peripheral vision catches the tall brunette passing by as if calling his name was enough to summon him. “Shush! He’s coming!” Except you look him straight in the eye and smile. “Hey, Namjoon.” “Hey.” Namjoon snorts as if he overheard the conversation, a smile placed on his features as his eyes linger on Jihyo before he passes by. She remains nonchalant as if he’s invisible. Or at least until the moment he’s gone and she steps on your foot. “You were being way too obvious!” You pout at Jihyo, grabbing her arm. “No, I wasn’t.” “Go be cute to Jimin instead,” she scoffs while you giggle, hoping he’ll find you half as endearing as you know your best friend does. // The weekend comes slower than you wish it would, but arrives nonetheless. You’re waiting at the station — intercom noisy overhead, the sound of the train breaking echoing from afar. It’s the bustle of the afternoon, of overtime office workers and other couples shuffling amongst themselves with parents following their children. You tug on the hem of your dress that Jihyo insisted you wear. You’re not sure if it’s too much or if you caked on too much makeup, but there’s no time to overthink. “Y/N!” Jimin meets you, dressed in casual attire of jeans and a white tee underneath a black hoodie. “I’m sorry I’m late!” “You weren’t late, Jimin. I just came early.” “But how long were you waiting for?” “Not that long,” you assure and he glances at you before smiling. “You look really nice. Like really nice.” “T-Thanks,” the word stutters out of you and you look around, feeling conscious under his sole attention. “Where are we heading first?” “I was thinking of catching a movie, if you’d like.” “Sure.” The both of you start moving towards the exit. At the same time, the intercom announces the arrival of the Northbound train. It pulls up on the other side and the doors whir open a beat later, flooding the platform with passengers exiting and pushing to enter. In the chaos, your shoulder is roughly shoved and you’re pushed aside by the rushing mass. You wince and open your eyes to discover you’re losing sight of the boy with dark strands. But the second hopelessness begins to settle— “Are you okay?” Jimin’s hand has clasped yours and he’s pulled you out from the crowd. You stumble in a place where you can breathe again. Jimin smiles sweetly and you’re not sure if he’s an angel or not. “I thought I lost you,” you admit in an exhale. “Don’t worry, I would never let you out of my sight.” His grip is firm and secure. Jimin squeezes tenderly and leads you out the exit again — this time with you in hand. You feel your palm getting warm. “Sorry, my hand’s a bit sweaty.” “I don’t mind.” Your heart catches in your throat. You hope this lasts forever. The pair of you end up catching a romance movie in a cute, local theater called When Spring Meets Autumn. But towards the end, you’re not sure what it’s about. Not when all you can think about is the fact that Jimin’s beside you, how he’s leaning your way, your elbows are brushing. The way his arm ends up draping over the back of your seat. All you can do is steal glances at him. Your eye eventually catches his and your attempt of pretending you weren’t staring is futile. You feel Jimin lean even closer, noticing a soft smile playing on his lips. “Is there something wrong?” he whispers. You shake your head. It’s the opposite. This is a dream come true. “I’m usually more into action than romance,” he says as the both of you walk alongside one another over the bridge. “I can’t believe that actress died ten minutes into the movie though.” “Oh yeah.” You laugh awkwardly, not able to recall. Your eyes travel towards the cityscape and then the lake that you were crossing. Your ears perk at the giggles of couples in pedal boats, blue boats they’re using to cross the waters together. Envy stems in your mind. They sure were taking advantage of the warm weather. Jimin notices your fixation. “Have you ever been?” You shake your head. “I’ve always wanted to go in it with my family, but I never got the chance.” “We could do it now.” Your eyes meet his. “Right now?” “Why not?” He grins boyishly, already taking your hand again. It’s ten dollars for ten minutes and you split the cost in half, in spite of how much he insists on paying for the ride. The boat wobbles as you get in, but Jimin holds your hand and guides you, laughing while the instructor asks if you want a life jacket for the second time and shows the rules nailed onto the wooden board. The two of you get settled in and start pedaling with your feet. But you don’t get anywhere and bump into the dock instead. “The left person paddles!” The instructor yells and Jimin’s wide-eyed before he nods and follows. “This is actually my first time too,” he admits shyly as you finally get into the lake. “I wanted to look cool.” Laughter unabashedly bubbles out of your throat. “It’s okay, Jimin. You’re very cool to me.” “Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.” “No!” You retort in the midst of giggles. “I’m being honest!” You both paddle to the middle of the lake and it’s a lot more work than you expected. You’re sure you don’t look flattering in your dress pedaling a boat but there’s no time to dwell when you’re having this much fun. At least not until you feel your toes getting wet. “Oh my god!” You flinch. “There’s a hole in the boat!” Water leaks up to your ankles and it’s only getting faster. “Paddle to shore!” Jimin shouts in the midst of laughing. You giggle and as if to make matters worse, the rolling clouds over the horizon begin pouring rain. It spits and then starts showering on top of your heads. You’re becoming soaked from both ways, but rather than being upset, you’re laughing and giggling hysterically with one another. Jimin helps you up onto the harbour and holds your hand as you run away to get some cover. You find some under a closed store canopy on a nearby quiet street. The pair of you face the road, unable to see far with the thick, heavy rain morphing the city to monochrome. Warm giggles fill the spaces beside you. “I’m going to be honest, I imagined the first date with you would be a lot better than this.” You meet Jimin’s eye and take the chance to tease him. “You imagined it?” But he doesn’t make a snarky comeback. Jimin is genuine as he is shy. “Yeah. I have. I like you a lot, Y/N. I think...I have for a long time. I just didn’t realize it.” It’s silent — the peaceful kind of quiet that lingers. As cold as the rain is, your face warms. But you wonder if this is how Jimin really feels or if it’s the Love Pages’ doing. Your trance is shattered by an embarrassed laugh. “You shouldn’t leave a guy waiting after they confessed, you know.” Jimin tilts his head, eyes tender and smile kind. “It makes it feel like you’re about to reject me.” Reject him?! “I’ve liked you since eighth grade,” you blurt loudly, the honesties pouring out of your mouth. They’re words you never thought you would have the chance to say. A confession you’ve always held in your throat. Secrets you held so close to you and were too cowardice to speak. But the compassionate Jimin you’re facing makes you brave. He grins, a growing smile that spreads into his cheeks and makes his eyes gleam. “Really?” “I have ever since you helped me in that group project.” “I did?” His brows furrow. “I can’t really recall.” It’s disheartening to hear considering that the memory is significant to you, but you elaborate as if you could jog his mind. “Science class with Mr. Chen. No one was listening and I was really stressed, but you helped me.” The recognition never seems to set in his eyes, but instead, they flicker down to your lips. “Can I kiss you?” You nod furiously and Jimin smiles before he leans in with heavy lidded eyes. His fingers lift to hold your chin and your eyes flutter shut. Soft lips meet yours. It’s a sweet kiss, a brief and chaste one. Your very first. And your heart feels like it’s about to burst. You can practically hear Jimin’s thundering heartbeat underneath the thumping rain. // The giddiness lasts an hour later. You can’t resist the enormous grin on your face even when you slap your own cheeks and tell yourself to calm down. It’s still cloudy outside when you get home, the rain subsided into scattering droplets, yet you feel warm inside. “I’m hom—” The announcement is cut short when you stumble on a pair of shoes. You catch yourself and look down to find odd brown loafers that don’t belong to your mom, dad or you. There’s only one other person. “Hobi?!” As if the day couldn’t get any better. You sprint into the living room to find your older brother sitting on the couch and he turns around with a small smile. “If it isn’t my baby sister.” “What are you doing here?” It’s not like him to visit unannounced, but as you step forward into the evening light, you discover his reddened eyes and the swollen area underneath is as if he’s been crying. Colour instantly drains from your face and your expression falls. “Is...there something wrong?” Your pupils stray to the suitcase beside him. Hoseok musters another smile. “Surprise. I’m moving back.” “W-Where’s Irene?�� “She’s not coming.” His voice is hoarse. “It’s…..over. We’re getting a divorce.” What? // Life — he told you is what happened. Careers got busy. Staying together turned out to be more of a chore than expected. And it seemed like there were more arguments than there were proper conversations. Hoseok followed it up with a hard swallow and nonchalantly told you that sometimes things just don’t work out. But by the look on his face, you know he was holding back tears. You’ve never seen your brother cry before. “What do you mean?!” “What happened? Did she kick you out? For how long?! Where are you planning to go now?!” Your parents are in hysterics, exasperated and stunned by the situation. Your dad is tense in the armchair while your mother is pacing the floor. You watch the three of them through the gap of your bedroom door, not sure if you should intrude or what you would even say. “This doesn’t make any sense! The two of you were fine last week!” “We weren’t, mom,” Hoseok assures in a weak voice with his downcast head. “Have you spoken to her yet?! Did the pair of you sit down and talk properly?” Your older brother releases a staggering exhale from his lungs. “We have,” his voice cracks, “enough times. And...it’s...it’s over between us.” This isn’t right. This shouldn’t be happening. Your mother cries, “Hoseok, are you giving up?! You can’t just give up! This is your marriage that we’re talking about. This is serious!” “This isn’t just up for me to decide!” Hoseok retorts in a shout, finally lifting his face. “I can’t do anything about it when she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore!” You shut the door quietly, pressing your back against the surface. You’re as shocked as your parents are — maybe even more so. You were the one who saw it first hand. You’re the one who tagged along when they went to play, when Irene knocked on the door every morning to go to school together, you’re the one who sat in the backseat as they took a road trip down to the beach six summers ago. The two of them grew up together in this neighbourhood. They’re soulmates. And you know that best. Your dad’s voice is muffled through the walls. “—happened exactly?” “—doesn’t love me anymore……..wanted a break weeks ago.” Hoseok’s eagerness, Irene’s calmness. Their sense of humour, their ambitions in life — it all aligns like puzzle pieces meant to fit. And you’re not the only one who thinks so. Everyone who has eyes and ears would’ve thought that their relationship would be inevitable. They’re soulmates — better together than apart — and you could bet your entire existence on that fact. You march across the stretch of your room and sit yourself down in the chair. Swiftly and silently, you pull open the last drawer of your desk and grab the pastel pink notebook. Pushing your chemistry textbook, candle and lighter aside, you flip open the pages. Kang Irene L/N Hoseok L/N Hoseok Kang Irene The names are written without needing to blink twice, straight lines and big print. Twice to make sure that both sides are the same, that affections will be reciprocated. But you know it’s childish. You can only hope it works. // Dinner is stiff. Little bites are taken, each person nibbling on the food. No words are exchanged across the table when the tension is so thick. Neither your mom or your dad speaks another word about the issue with the way Hoseok’s brooding. There’s no point in making futile commentary, in adding gasoline to the fire after all, so you don’t press on the matter either. But ten minutes into dinner, the silence is interrupted by the doorbell. It echoes throughout the home and heads lift, eyes looking at one another. Hoseok is the first who moves. As if he has a sixth sense or a foolish wish of who it could be. Who he hopes it is. And as you and your parents follow after him while he opens the door, that wish is granted. Irene stands at the doorstep in a cream coat and leggings, bag thrown over her shoulder. She’s out of breath as if she rushed over, yet the pair of them don’t speak. They gaze at one another quietly. Hoseok grips the doorknob, eyes pinned on his wife as she looks back into his brown irises warmed by the dim light of the foyer. Their eyes are tender, expressions pained. “C-Can I come in?” she asks in an exhale. Hoseok nods fervently. As much as your parents would like to listen in to the conversation, they both give Hoseok and Irene a private moment. One you observe through the crack of your door. There’s an exchange of sighs and muffled apologies. And when your brother finally asks what she’s doing here, Irene responds in a beat. “I still love you.” “W-What? But just a few hours ago...you….you said….we were done. This is so sudden.” “I know.” With her downcast head, tears trickle down her cheeks. “I know that. But I regretted it the second you were gone, Hoseok. I’m sorry. I...I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everythin—” Hoseok pulls her in close, cradling her face against his shoulder as he embraces her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you too.” The corner of your mouth tugs and you look away when they kiss. They’re surmounting the bittersweet moment together, leaving behind the point where they were so close to abandoning their relationship. Your parents emerge with you lingering behind and you’re relieved as they are. “I’m sorry.” Irene dips her head. Your father glances at your mother and then smiles. “Don’t worry about it, dear. Couples fight all the time. It’s only natural when you’re living together.” “Does this mean you’re not staying over?” You intrude, quirking your head at your brother who smirks. “I thought we were gonna have a massive sleepover.” Your mom nudges you. “Let him leave with Irene. They should spend time together.” Hoseok laughs. “Maybe next time, squirt. I’ll make sure to come home next week and visit. This time, properly.” He gazes at his wife who nods. The two of them leave hand in hand, closer than they were before. It's the perfect outcome. All you could have hoped for. What you know is meant to be. But it isn’t a mere coincidence that Irene came here, that they made up with one another. You know it in your bones — the Love Pages works and it’s your saviour.

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Jihyo notes with a brow raised and you snap back to attention, realizing that you’ve been humming and smiling to yourself. “I guess I just have a lot to be happy about,” you sing-song and your best friend scoffs lighty with a tiny smile of her own. “Yeah, cause you’re dating Park Jimin and even wearing his sweater. Life’s good, isn’t it?” You look down to the navy material that’s soft to the touch, sleeves draped past your fingers. He gave it to you after noticing that you were cold one evening and said you could keep it. You’re happy to wear it too since it carries his comforting scent and makes it clear what your relationship with him is. You smile, unable to retort Jihyo’s snarky yet playful tone. And she notices your love-struck state, rolling her eyes before she’s interrupted by a gawky brunette whose height towers over her sitting form. “Jihyo, you said you had the homework answers?” She looks up and deadpans, “I never said I would give them to you, Namjoon.” You’re stunned at how your best friend can be so cold to her crush, but you know it’s just a front to keep herself from being flustered and out of control. Namjoon seems to know as well since he grins. “I thought we could compare.” “Fine.” She exhales, acting like it’s all a chore when you’re certain she’s ecstatic. Jihyo brushes a strand of her dark hair behind her ear and smooths out her skirt as she stands. “Let’s see what you have, Joon.” You watch them stride across the classroom to his desk, eyes tracing their backsides. And then you’re reaching down to your backpack for the pastel pink notebook. You’re not sure when you started bringing it around with you, but the Love Pages have become your good luck charm. You feel naked without it in your possession. No one notices when you push aside your biology textbook. When you flip it open. When you take your pencil and begin scribbling names inside. Kim Namjoon Park Jihyo There’s a reason this notebook fell into your lap and you’re not going to let it go to waste. Out of everyone you know, Jihyo deserves her feelings to be reciprocated. And you’ll play cupid if that’s what it takes. Swiftly, the notebook is closed and you slide it back into your backpack. A beat later, your best friend is returning and colour is drained from her face. She plops down in her desk chair, the seat in front of yours. “Jihyo?” She looks like she’s seen a ghost and you’re alarmed, wondering if something went wrong. “What happened?” “Namjoon...he….he….” She blinks hard. “He just asked me out…?” “What?” Your head whips across the classroom where said boy is smiling at your friend. You didn’t know the effects of the Pages are so instantaneous. “When? Right now?” She nods after a delayed second and a smile spreads into your face. You try to keep your squeals down before it collects the attention of the rest of the class. “Oh my god, Jihyo! I’m so happy for you!” Her brows furrow. “I don’t get it….it came out of nowhere….” “Does it matter?” You grab your best friend’s hands. “You’re going on a date with Kim Namjoon!” “I am. I...am!” Your best friend finally looks you in the eye, giddy at the idea. “I need to go shopping!” // “—and then she came back and told me that he asked her out!” You’re smiling from ear to ear, twirling around to face Jimin as he watches you with a smile. You don’t think it’s possible that you could be any happier than this. Not only do you have Jimin by your side, but you’ve granted both your brother and your best friend their wishes. “They’re going to catch a movie this weekend, I think.” “You’re so excited,” he laughs. “Sounds like you’re the one going on the date.” “Jihyo’s liked Namjoon for so long. I’m just happy for her.” “You spend a lot of time with Jihyo, huh?” Jimin comments as you come to a stop at the light, waiting for the pedestrian signal to come on. “She’s my only friend,” you admit with a small smile, reminiscing over the years. Your steps sync with Jimin’s again. “My best friend. We’ve been through thick and thin.” “I’m jealous,” your boyfriend squeezes your hand, eyes glimmering. “I want you all to myself.” You lightly scoff at his flirtation and his smile only widens until you let go of your interlaced hands to open the mailbox in front of your house. But unfortunately, there’s nothing inside. No acceptance or even rejection letters from any colleges or universities like you were anticipating. There’re no bills or advertisement pamphlets either which probably means your dad’s home from work and beaten you to the punch. “Well, I’ll call you later then, Jimi—” “Can I come in?” he asks, eyes twinkling with hope. You’re taken aback and glance over your shoulder, not sure if introducing your boyfriend to your parents so soon is a good idea. While you know they try their hardest, your parents can be extremely overbearing. They tend to bombard anyone you talk to with a million questions, yet somehow, they’re still out of touch with your life. Your relationship with your parents isn’t spectacular to say the least. But when Jimin takes a step forward with confidence, you have a feeling that they’ll like him as much as you do. After all, who doesn’t like Jimin? And you’re not wrong. “Hello. Nice to meet you.” He dips his head in greeting, tone respectful as he stands in the foyer of your home. Your mom’s brows are raised to her hairline while your dad is seemingly sizing him up. “My name is Park Jimin. I’m Y/N’s classmate.” “Actually, he’s my boyfriend,” you clarify, deciding to be straightforward with it and your parents exchange expressions. But within minutes, you know they’ve fallen for him too. “Oh dear, you’re on the soccer team as well?” Jimin nods. “I’ve been playing since elementary, but I’m not that great at it.” “That’s a blatant lie,” you object while sticking your head from the kitchen into the living room where they’re seated. “Jimin’s the star of the soccer team.” “That’s very remarkable,” your father notes with stars practically in his eyes. You have to hold back laughter just watching them. “How do you manage to be so studious, keep up such great grades, maintain a social life and play sports at the same time?” “I’m not as impressive as it sounds,” Jimin laughs shyly, scratching the back of his neck. “I just do a little every day. I think having supportive parents help a lot and having Y/N around does too. She’s always supported me, even before we got together, so I owe her a lot.” Their smiles are bright, bodies relieved and you match Jimin’s soft smile. Any nervousness of having Jimin meet your family vanishes like it never even existed. And for a moment, you imprint the scene in front of you in the forefront of your brain. You wonder if your future will someday look like this — Jimin sitting across from your parents in your family home. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Jimin?” your mother asks and he enthusiastically nods. // Life is perfect. “You’ll come to my game, right?” “Of course, I will!” The days and weeks are flying by fast, and you’re getting closer and closer to graduation. It’s hectic but a busyness that isn’t tiring — not when you’re enjoying every moment of it. “And the winner of the final soccer match of this season goes to Daykey High!” Cheers erupt from the stands and as you shoot up with your own hollers, Jimin whips his body around after being dogpiled on by his teammates and grins. He races up the stands when he gets a chance, engulfs you in his embrace and gives you a sweaty kiss full of vigour that has you smiling. Months ago, you would’ve never known your last months of high school would be spent so perfectly. It feels like a dream come true, like your biggest desires have been granted. “Jimin!” “What?” “Are you going to come, dude? We’ve missed you at like five hangouts so far. C’mon, this one’s gonna be the last one, you have to come.” “Nah.” He grabs his duffle bag. “Sorry, guys. I'll probably have to back out of this one too. Can’t leave my girlfriend waiting.” “What’s going on, Chim?” The soccer captain steps forward with his brows furrowed. “This isn’t like you.” “What do you mean?” Jimin laughs. “Nothing’s going on.” Another snorts and slings an arm over his shoulder. “You got it bad for your girl, don’t you?” Jimin’s sheepish when he admits it. “She’s the only one for me.” Sometimes you’re frightened that you’ll wake up one morning and find that everything you’ve been living through was really just a dream. But time and time again, you open your eyes to see the pastel pink notebook on your desk. And it’s a reminder that it’s what brought you all this joy. The Love Pages made this possible. “H-Hey, Jimin.” Seulgi lingers outside the locker room, struggling to meet his eye as she teeters from side to side. “Congratulations on winning.” “Thanks! It was a tough game, but I’m glad we pulled through.” “Yeah...well..um…I—.” “I’ll see you around?” Jimin smiles and Seulgi nods after a delayed second. They exchange small smiles full of distant politeness, but as Jimin turns to catch up to you, his expression grows genuine. You hope this lasts forever. // “Hey, Jihyo….” “What.” “How are your eyes so beautiful?” Namjoon mutters and the girl busy with her paper turns her head to glare at him. The corner of his mouth curls and he hums, “I wonder how I’ll go on without you. I might miss you to death.” She scoffs, unwavered by the greasy lines. “Get your ass to class before you’re late.” Namjoon grins and as he gets up, grabbing his bag with him, he makes sure to plant a surprise kiss to the top of her head. The gawky boy laughs at his partner’s scandalized expression and takes his leave. In the meanwhile, the smile itching up your features finally reveals itself and you march across the library floor to plop down into the seat that Namjoon had occupied. “You two lovebirds really need a room.” Jihyo makes a noise of acknowledgment at the back of her throat. “How did the fourth date go?” “What? Oh yeah. It was fine.” Her response is short and you chalk it up to her merely concentrating on finishing her assignment, but after a minute, Jihyo lifts her chin and looks at you. “Hey, Y/N.” “What?” “Do you think Namjoon’s off somehow?” “What do you mean?” “I know him.” Jihyo pauses. “Namjoon would rather die than say something as cheesy as he just did.” You loll your head to one side and shrug. “I don’t know. Love changes people, Jihyo. You should stop overthinking it and just let yourself be loved.” She blinks and hums, returning back to her work. // The library is becoming quieter and quieter as summer arrives. Jihyo doesn’t blame everyone for preferring to spend their remaining days outside with their friends than hanging out in a place surrounded by bookshelves and studying for exams. But if anything, it makes her job easier. There are fewer books to shelve, fewer people to attend to and less to clean up. With only a student here or there, she’s able to savour the last shifts of library duty left. “Joon.” “Hmmm?” Not to mention, no one really bats a lash with her boyfriend hanging around beside her. Ever since they started dating officially, Namjoon’s been glued to her side. But Jihyo doesn’t mind. The company and conversations are welcome. Even the librarian finds him endearing. “When did you become interested in me?” Namjoon is seemingly perplexed by the question and their eyes meet as they stand between the thin aisle between two looming bookcases. “I don’t know. One moment, everything was fine and then the next, I started feeling this way.” Jihyo’s frowns. “Suddenly?” “It was a bit weird for me too, but then I realized I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It...hit me and it was intense, so I asked you out.” His smile softens, dimples creased into each side of his cheek. “Why?” Jihyo sighs and shakes her head. “No reason. It just seemed like you never liked me like that before or at least you never hinted at it.” “That’s true. I saw you as just a friend for the longest time.” Namjoon leans in, his smile sweet towards his girlfriend. “Is that such a bad thing?” Jihyo scoffs lightly but then shakes her head with a tiny smile. Maybe you’re right. Maybe she is overthinking it. “I just have to get used to it.” It’s that same afternoon that Jihyo walks home by herself — Namjoon busy with his other clubs and unable to accompany her. She doesn’t mind much, actually finding solace in her alone time. But Jihyo’s mind wanders and she realizes it’s been a long time since she’s hung out with you outside of class or library duty. Jimin’s monopolized you these days and as happy as she is to watch you giddy, she misses her best friend. 4:38 pm. Jihyo: wanna go out for ice cream or something 4:39 pm. Y/N: hell yeah!!! :D 4:39 pm. Y/N: omw home 4:39 pm. Y/N: wanna meet up there? Jihyo smiles to herself and turns down the familiar street to your house. The school’s boundary lines are narrow, so most of the students live in the same small neighbourhood. And considering that Jihyo’s been your friend since grade six, she’s no stranger to your house, the white mailbox, the gate, and the small yard that the pair of you used to play on. They’re all nostalgic memories to her. “About time!” she calls out when she sees you. You laugh, quickening your strides. “It only took me five minutes!” “On another date with Jimin?” Jihyo follows after you, through the door and up the stairs to your room. It’s quiet which only means your mom’s running errands and your dad’s not home from work yet. “We just went to a bookstore and grabbed food.” She laughs and drops her backpack by your bed. “Can you eat ice-cream then?” “Don’t you know there’s always room for dessert?” You grin while patting your stomach. “Speaking of which, I need to take a leak before we leave. Be right back.” She snorts and pulls out her phone to check her usual apps. But there’s nothing much to see aside from the string of heart emojis that Namjoon sends for no reason. She rolls her eyes, but smiles to herself. Namjoon’s an idiot. But he should be lucky he’s a cute one. Jihyo boredly wanders to your desk, eyes falling upon the shell pink container. She holds the candle up, glad that you actually liked the birthday present enough to burn half of it. Then she sets it down and picks up the lighter, rolling the wheel and observing the flame that sparks. She puts it down, looks over the polaroids you have strung on the wall, and then her eyes stray to a crime novel you have pushed on the side of your desk. Jihyo smiles to herself in amusement. She didn’t know you picked up reading recently. Curious, she flips it over to read the synopsis of the book, but then something underneath catches her eye. A baby pink notebook. The Love Pages. Her brows furrow and she discards the crime novel to the side in favour of the magnetizing pull coming from the notebook. She’s curious. Her intuition forces her to look. Jihyo turns the notebook over, and she becomes more and more bewildered as she reads the rules. As she reads the warning. Then, she flips it open. At the same time you return. “J-Jihyo?” You’re frozen at the door. “Y/N. What is this?” “Nothing.” You damn yourself for not putting the notebook in the drawer, for not bringing it with you like you so often do. You forgot about taking it with you this morning when you were in a rush to get ready and now you’re paying the price for your mistake. You take two wide strides across the floor to snatch— But Jihyo’s grip remains firm. She doesn’t let you rip the notebook from her hands. Her tight hold crinkles the corners of the pages. “Y/N.” Jihyo’s eyes meet yours. Cold. Firm. “What is this?” You release your sigh and your arm comes to your side. “Remember when we were cleaning out the storage room of the library two months ago? I found it there and it works. I know it’s hard to believe, but it works, Jihyo.” It takes a second for the words to sink in. But then it hits Jihyo like a freight train, slamming into her form, smashing into her brain. She doesn’t want to believe it — not when it’s so outrageous and outlandish — but it all clicks. Everything finally makes sense. “Is this….how you got Namjoon to go out with me?” Her pupils trace his name on the lined paper and then the straight lines of her own name. Jihyo looks up at you, colour drained from her face. She whispers as if someone could overhear, “Is this how you got Jimin to go out with you?” “I wrote it as a joke first.” Your voice is pitched as you frantically explain, “but then Jimin started to pay attention to me and the next day, he even asked me out! I...I didn’t think it worked but then Hoseok came home and he was about to get divorced, Jihyo. It was really bad. But I wrote their names in and they’re fine now. See? It works and it’s a good thing!” She shakes her head slowly, connecting the dots. “You wrote my name in it...and you didn’t even ask me.” “I know and I’m sorry.” Your palms are clammy. You’re not sure why she’s so upset with you, why she’s giving you such a horrified look as if you did something so wrong. “But I didn’t know if you would believe me and since it worked, I thought...why not.” “Why not?! You didn’t ask for my consent! I didn’t want this! I can’t believe you did this, Y/N!” “What do you mean you didn’t want this?” It’s your turn to be upset — if anything, you did Jihyo a favour. You were looking out for her as her friend. “You liked Namjoon for the longest time! I did this for you!” “This isn’t what I wanted!” Jihyo’s voice is shrill and you flinch. “This is so wrong, Y/N. This is so fucked.” “How? We got what we wanted, didn’t we?!” “But have you ever thought about the other side?! Have you ever thought about them?” she asks, coming face to face with you. “You’ve made everything artificial! Why would you go against their will and control them like this?” “It’s not against their will!” “It is!” Jihyo screams, voice straining in her throat. “Namjoon only saw me as a friend and nothing more, and Jimin didn’t even know you!” Her words reverberate in your ears. Jimin didn’t even know you. Your fist curls as you tremble. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as tears threaten at your lash line. You can’t believe she just said that, that she can be so ungrateful. She doesn’t get it. And you thought out of anyone, Jihyo would be the one who would understand you most. “How do you get rid of it?” she demands, thrusting the notebook to your face. “How?!” “You….have to erase the names.” “Then fucking do it!” “Fine! Move!” You push her aside and press the book to your desk, grabbing the pencil that nearly rolls off. You take the eraser end and rub her name and Namjoon’s from the paper. Fine. If she wants you to erase it, you’ll erase it. But you know she’ll come running back to you to write it in again. You scrub the names hard enough that the shiny surface of the paper dulls. Hard enough that the pink eraser bits fill the page. That your hand physically hurts. You show her when you’re done. “There. Happy?” “Erase Jimin’s name.” “What?” By sheer instincts, you pull back and press the notebook to you. “No.” “Y/N. This is crazy. This is so wrong. You’re violating your morals for—” “I have no morals,” you cut her off. She can yell at you, shame you, make you erase what you did for her. But you draw the line here. “Don’t you realize, Jihyo? You said it yourself. Jimin never looked twice at me. And I know he would’ve never asked me out. He would’ve never gone on that date, he would’ve never made me his girlfriend. He would’ve never told me he loves me.” “Y/N—” “I’ve never been loved or looked at like this before.” You swallow hard, eyes stinging, the lump in your throat makes it hard to talk. Most of all, your heart aches. “For the first time in my life, I’ve actually had someone like me back. For the first time in my life, I’ve had someone love me like that. Without this notebook, it would’ve been impossible.” “But you can’t force him—” “I’m not forcing him to do anything!” Blood curdles at the back of your throat. You wish someone else was in the house, then they could rush upstairs and take Jihyo away from you. Away from threatening your happiness. “That’s not how the Love Pages works!” She steps forward, arm extending. “Then if that’s true, erase his name.” You flinch away from her. “I will never erase Jimin’s name!” “Y/N!” — “Leave me alone!” You try to push past her, but Jihyo grabs the notebook. Your attempt to rip it from her grip and shove her away is ultimately futile. Jihyo’s grabbed hold of the edge and she’s not letting go. In your desperation, you catch a fistful of her hair and she stomps on your foot, shouting ‘bitch!’ at you. You cry aloud, wonder why it’s so hard for you to be happy. You love him. Your hands are slipping, but you untangle your fingers from Jihyo’s head and manage to seize the cover with your right hand. The notebook flips open, papers dangling downwards between your struggle. Jihyo screams for you to let go, that this is crazy, but you ignore her. She knows nothing. You love Jimin. And all you want is for him to love you back. The pair of you yank back and forth. When it looks like you’re about to win, Jihyo snags a page near the back. And it rips as you snatch it towards you. The paper tears. You both stumble to the ground from the force of your grasps. Your own hand slams into your mouth, bruising your lip. Jihyo across from you has her hair in a disarray and you’re horrified to find her holding her eye. She cusses again, tone venomous. The notebook falls beside you, the empty white page fluttering in between. It’s silent as you two hyperventilate. Then Jihyo stands. She brushes past you, roughly grabbing her bag. “Suit yourself. But don’t get me involved anymore. I want no part of this.” The girl stomps out and you don’t look behind you. You don’t race after her, tell her to wait, explain that there’s a misunderstanding. Because there isn’t. You already said your piece. You allow the slamming of the front door to echo. But you do get up to watch her from the window. She acts like this is your fault, that you did something so horrible to her when what you did for her was a miracle. She’s the ungrateful bitch. Self-righteous in the dumbest ways. And you hope she never comes back. // Even when your anger has subsided, you know there are certain things that can’t be forgiven. Jihyo ignores you when you glance in her direction, when you move past her, when you stand in front of her. At school and lunch, she hangs out with the other girls, never once sparing you a look or the friendly smile she gives to her new friends. And it’s a change that others notice. “Is everything okay?” your classmate asks curiously. “Did you and Jihyo have a fight or something?” Your bruised lip and the skin around her eye blossomed blue speaks for itself. “Something like that.” You muster a smile. “But I’m fine.” “Oh. Well, make up soon then.” But you highly doubt that’ll happen. If she wants to be a bitch, then you can be one too. You can ignore her. You can pretend she doesn’t exist….. But unlike Jihyo, it’s always been harder for you to be cold. Not when you’ve spent so many years and made countless memories together. So you’re unable to resist when Namjoon comes by during the last shift of your library duty — one that you know she’s arranged to be absent at. “Do you know where she is?” Yet, the tall brunette merely shakes his head. “Sorry, I don’t. Jihyo...actually broke up with me yesterday, so….yeah….” “Oh. I’m...I’m sorry to hear that, Namjoon.” He smiles. “It’s okay. It was pretty mutual.” You watch him leave, not batting a single lash, without a single trace of heartbreak on his features and then you divert your vision. You know things will never be the same for them again. Jihyo and Namjoon might never become as friendly as they were prior to their relationship. But you also know she’s wrong. You never forced Jimin to do anything. You didn’t force him to have feelings for you. That’s not how the Love Pages works— “BOO!” A hand comes down on your shoulder and a scream tears out of your throat as you spin around. You nearly fall on the ground from startlement, but Jimin latches onto your wrist, stabilizing you. “Y-You almost scared me to death!” “Sorry, sorry.” Your boyfriend laughs. “I didn’t know you would be so scared.” “Don’t do that again,” you scold, heart rate steadying. “How long were you even following me for?” “Not that long. You seemed a bit off. I had to make sure you got home safe and didn’t talk to anyone else.” Jimin syncs his steps into yours, familiar with the route you take home after accompanying you so many times. But as silence simmers between the pair of you, he takes notice. Jimin slips his hand into yours, slowing down. “Y/N. What’s wrong?” You shake your head, words caught in your throat. You don’t know what to say, where to start, what you can tell him. How he’d even react. And it’s all too overwhelming for you to bear. Against your will, you burst into tears. The tsunami of emotions — anger, sorrow, regret — they clog your chest and shed in the form of teardrops. It hangs on your lashes, drips down your cheeks, clouds your vision. And the only comfort you receive is when Jimin reaches out, guiding your head to his shoulder. “J-Jihyo….she….she hates me…” You hang onto him, tight fists clutching onto Jimin’s jacket. You were scared — scared when your only friend turned their back against you and found others to replace you so quickly, frightened when you realized just how isolated you are, petrified when you had a taste of what it’s like to walk the halls alone, to eat alone, to sit alone. To be alone. To be abandoned. If Jimin leaves too, you’ll truly have no one. “It’s okay,” he hums, locking you in a secure embrace. “You don’t need anyone but me.” Jimin consoles you without needing to be asked. He soothes you and says the things you’ve yearned to hear since yesterday. You return his hug, quieting your sobs and strengthening your resolve. You can’t give him up. // You’re not sure why it took you so long to realize what is and isn’t important. In a blink of an eye, the entire world seems to have shifted. The things — people — you treasured can so easily throw you away and all this time, you didn’t know. You’ve been played. Time wasted. “Y/N, are you home?” your mom calls from the kitchen as the front door shuts and she stumbles out with a frown. “You’re later than usual today. Were you with someone? Jihyo?” “I was with Jimin,” you sigh, kicking off your shoes. “Where did you go?” “Nowhere. We just talked.” “About what?” “Nothing! God, can you stop asking me questions?!” You stomp up the stairs. Your mother exhales in frustration and calls after you, “Well get yourself looking nice! Your brother and Irene are coming over for dinner tonight! Are you listening to me?! Don’t ignore me, Y/N!” But you do ignore her as you zip to your room and shut the door. Finally, you’re able to get a moment of peace and quiet, and once it settles, you take two large strides across your room. You swiftly slip the Love Pages out of your backpack and into the bottom drawer of your desk. Without blinking, you grab the half-burnt pink candle and dump it into the bin. I can’t believe you did this, Y/N! Your bottom lip trembles but your determination hardens as you begin tearing off the strung polaroids on your wall. You’re suffocated just looking at them. Bitch! Your sixteenth birthday spent with Jihyo — sleepovers in seventh grade — summers spent at summer camp. You rip the photographs all off and they follow the candle in the trash. Suit yourself. But don’t get me involved anymore. I want no part of this. An unpleasant feeling sits at the pit of your stomach and you flop down onto your bed. You shut your eyes before being plagued by the moment she turns her back, how she passes by the hall, giggling with other classmates. They’re moments played over and over until you feel nauseous. “It’s fine,” you mutter to yourself and repeat, “It’s fine.” You’re graduating soon. You can finally get away from here. You can move far away, to a university out of the city. You open your eyes to stare at the ceiling, tears stinging. And you inhale a staggering breath. Soon. You can go with Jimin and the two of you can vanish together. You’ll never have to think about your lost best friend or what you did. You can leave the Love Pages behind.

It’s a permanent turning point. Your friendship with Jihyo never mends or is even a topic of conversation. Sometimes, you can feel her looking at you from the corner of her eye as if she’s judging you for the secret she knows. One she’s aware no one would believe her for, but that you both know what you did. You don’t speak to each other, merely passing by in the same spaces and no one asks. After all, friends drift apart all the time. Everyone merely finds a new normal and so do you. Jimin becomes your new best friend. Sometimes, you eat lunch with his friends. Sometimes, it’s solely with him. The two of you continue going on dates and when you’re not, it’s conversations through text or shy talks on the phone. And sometimes— “C’mon, no one’s home.” “Yeah, but what if your mom returns and finds me in her son’s bedroom? That would be a bad look.” He laughs. “I promise she won’t. And even if she did, she’d still love you.” “I don’t know about that, Jimin.” “I’ll still love you and that’s what’s important, right?” Jimin pulls you into his cozy house and before you know it, your back is pressed against his soft sheets as he hovers over you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. No teasing words are spoken when the boy leans down to capture his lips with yours. It’s an eager kiss where you’re able to relish in the softness and the warmth of Jimin’s skin. Your arms automatically loop around his torso and you feel his smile against you. Jimin steals all the breath from your lungs and you’re left gasping as his mouth trails from your jaw to your neck. “J-Jimin,” you pant his name with swollen lips, leaning into his touch. “I missed you.” “What’d yo..u mean? I saw you today.” “Seeing isn't enough.” His mouth sucks into the juncture of your neck, marking it red to his liking and knowing it’ll bloom blue. Jimin lifts himself and smiles tenderly. “Tell me you’re mine, Y/N.” His gaze is soft, full of affection and endearment, and it swells your heart. “I’m yours.” “That’s right. You’re mine,” he whispers and kisses you again. He fiddles with the hem of your plush sweater and not long after, he’s tugging your camisole down. Sometimes you stay in Jimin’s bed, limbs tangled with one another’s. Other times, he’s busy with soccer practice and you come home by yourself— “Huh, did someone….move my cardigan?” You frown, wondering why it’s draped over the back of your chair and not the bed. Maybe your mom was trying to clean up for you again. “Hello?” you call, poking your head out your door. There isn’t an answer. You scoff to yourself, wondering what you were expecting. Anyway, life for the most part is normal again. With Jimin by your side, he’s become a pillar of your strength and a reason for your resiliency. He is the many of your firsts. And he makes you look forward to even better days. “Hey. Jimin?” “Hmm?” The pair of you are laying in his small bed and you shift your head to find him gazing at you with tender eyes and a softened smile. It tickles your own lips and you stare at him — his brown kaleidoscopic irises, his dark strands of hair nearly pricking into them. It’s quiet in his house with his parents gone and the fuzzy afternoon sunlight casting through the window makes you sleepy. If you don’t blink, you can spot the specs of dust floating in the air. “What are you thinking about?” “Nothing much.” Your voice is a murmur and you inhale gently, senses filled with Jimin’s comforting scent. “Do you think...you would’ve loved me before this school year?” “Of course, I would.” Jimin smiles as if you’re silly. “We’re meant to be.” He twines his hand with yours, fingers interlaced, and your sleepy smile stretches into cheeks. But Jihyo’s cursed you. She’s done the worst possible thing. She’s planted a seed in your mind. A seed of doubt. And it’s sprouted, taken root, embedded and coiled deep enough that you can’t tug it out. Even beautiful moments like these, you’re plagued by her words. You can't help wondering if this is really Jimin or the Love Pages’ doing. It’s chilly one night as you’re walking by yourself, going home from the convenient store down several blocks. The street lights are bright, illuminating both your figure and casting your shadow on the brick. But then you halt. Feet against the asphalt. Turning around. You swear, you felt eyes— Ring. Your phone rings suddenly and you jolt in startlement. You fumble before pulling it out and pressing it to your ear. “Hello?” You continue walking, except this time, your steps quicken. “Jimin?” “What’re you doing?” “Nothing,” you exhale, feeling comforted with him on the other line. “I’m so happy to hear your voice.” He laughs boyishly and you smile to yourself, practically able to hear his grin. Jimin sighs quietly, “Why does that make me feel happy?” “Did you finish running errands with your dad? Where are you?” “I’m always with you,” he quips playfully and you roll your eyes. It’s a joke, but as you peek over your shoulder, unsettlement sticks in your stomach. It feels like you’re always being watched. // “Jimin.” You stare up at the popcorn ceiling of his room, eyes running over the pointed ridges and dips, and drawing constellations from your imagination. “Do you ever feel like you’re being watched?” He turns his head, having been folding his laundry on the floor. “What do you mean?” “The other night, I was grabbing something for my dad at the convenient store and while I was walking home, it felt like….someone was watching me.” “Was there?” he asks. “I don’t know. I didn’t see anyone.” “Maybe you’re just being paranoid,” Jimin comforts with a small smile and finishes folding his last shirt. He comes up on the bed and you make room for him to lay next to you. “Or maybe it’s your guardian angel protecting you.” You scoff. “What guardian angel?” “Me,” he giggles softly and reads your expression. “Would that be so bad?” Your brows furrow and you go silent. Blood drains from your face and confusion makes your head dizzy. It’s outrageous to ask, but you do so— “Were you the one following me, Jimin?” He hums, “Maybe.” Instantly, you push your boyfriend’s hand away that was playing with your hair and you sit up. “I’m being serious.” Jimin follows after you, getting up. “I don’t get why you’re so upset.” “It’s weird! You’re stalking me!” “I’m protecting you,” he corrects and his voice softens. “I’m doing this for your own good, Y/N. I see people on the news getting kidnapped all the time. I just…I don’t want you to be taken away or put in danger. I don’t think I could live with myself if you got hurt and I wasn’t around to help.” You press your palms against your forehead, not knowing where to even begin. After a beat, your voice croaks, “How long have you been doing this for?” Jimin shrugs. “A while.” His intentions might come from a good place, but it makes you nauseous to think about how Jimin’s been following you. How he’s been tracing your steps, watching you from behind. And you didn’t even know. You don’t want to ask what else he’s done. “I’m not going to get hurt, Jimin. You don’t need to follow me like that.” “But you don’t know when something might happen. No one knows. I just want to be there for you.” Your thoughts are in a disarray, not sure how you should even reason with him. Shouldn’t it be common sense? At your ongoing silence, Jimin reaches out to hug you. But you stand, slipping away from his arms. “I think I need to go home.” “Wait. Y/N.” Jimin’s agile and swift, capturing your wrist in his hand before you’ve grabbed your bag. He stops you in your tracks. “Don’t be mad. I’m sorry!” “I just need a moment by myself, okay?” You try to shake him off. “I-I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Please. Don’t leave me,” his voice drops into a trembling whisper and your head whips around. Your eyes meet his, teary and shaking. Jimin suddenly gets onto his knees, cradling your hand in both of his hands and pressing it to his nose as if he’s praying. He begs, “Don’t leave me.” But his affectionate behaviour only serves to freak you out more. It’s more than bizarre and you quickly tear your hand back, pulling it to your chest and out of his grip. “You’re not being yourself, Jimin.” You grab your bag, turning around and making it to the door— “I love you!” he declares loudly, startling you. His sheer desperation radiates waves and you turn around with wide eyes. Jimin looks like he’s in the midst of a break down. “You’re mine! Is it so wrong to look after you like this? I did it because I love you. I love you, Y/N.” You clutch your bag against your body and divert your vision away from the boy. “Then...promise me you won’t do that again,” you murmur after a handful of uncomfortable seconds have passed, “I’m safe and fine. Secretly following me is excessive and it makes me…..uncomfortable.” Jimin begrudgingly nods. You slowly close the distance and hug him, allowing him to sniffle into your shoulder. He’s fine with letting you leave after the pair of you have made up. Yet, when you arrive home the next day, you swear you feel eyes on your backside. It’s easy to pretend nothing’s wrong when you haven’t noticed before. But once you lock the front door and make it to your room, you nimbly peek out the window. You catch Jimin standing across the street, expressionless. // The situation isn’t mentioned again in fear of another dramatic confrontation, but it dwells. A disturbing discomfort weighs on your shoulders and every sweet call of your name on his lips is startling. You’re not sure why you’re like this, how you can go back to how it used to be, when a mere glance from Jimin had your heart soaring and the butterflies in your tummy tickling. It feels like the rose filter of your eyes have rubbed off. And that you’ve found out the world is darker than the pink shades you previously saw it as. You leave the bathroom, hands still a bit damp in spite of drying them— And you flinch when you see dark strands, brown irises and rounded cheeks standing in the hallway, leaning against the lockers. Jimin smiles. “You’re about to have lunch, right?” You nod. “I was thinking we could eat together today.” “With your friends?” “No. Just us.” As the two of you walk, Jimin slings an arm around your shoulders. It feels heavy instead of warm and comforting. It’s quiet too, until he breaks it. “Have you been avoiding me, Y/N?” You shake your head. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to be distant.” He lovingly presses his head to yours, nuzzling into your hair. “That’s not what a good girlfriend does.” You swallow hard. The food ends up tasting like nothing. This isn’t right. This isn’t the boy next door you fell in love with years ago. Obsessive, controlling, a crazed look in his eye, desperate enough to beg on his knees — this isn’t Jimin. And you know the cause. You know why and how this happened. But you can’t bear to acknowledge the truth. Even when you’ve been plunged so deep, you still want to savour this a little longer. This impossibility. This dream that you’ve been granted. Tears fill your eyes and you gaze at him. Your boyfriend notices your softened expression that searches his face and he smiles, lifting his hand to pat your head. He prepares to walk off to class, but you take the leap while diverting your eyes. “Jimin. A-After graduation…...we need to talk.” His hand comes to curl around your wrist, firm enough that you can’t escape from. His voice drops an octave. “Are you breaking up with me?” You shake your head. “I’m going to tell you the truth.” Jimin’s brows furrow hard and he leans in close. “What’s the truth?” “I’ll tell you afterwards. Just wait a little longer,” you plead, “be patient with me. Please. I love you.” He stares and then nods. Jimin embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to console the turmoil bubbling underneath your skin. No one’s around to witness the intimate moment, so you allow yourself to savour it. “I love you too. I won’t ever let you go.” You nod against him. And you really hope what he says is true. You hope he loves you for you and not because it’s the effect of the Love Pages. // “I’m home!” you call out and shut the door. But instead of hearing your dad’s greeting or your mother’s nagging, there’s a smooth timbre coming from the living room that’s all too familiar. It raises the goosebumps around your arms and you stalk the noise, feet sliding against the floor. “—thinking of maybe renting an apartment—” “Jimin?” You stop in your tracks, bewildered at the sight of him sitting on the couch with your parents across from him, mugs and half-empty glasses of water on the coffee table in between. “W-What are you doing here?” “Oh, sit down! Jimin’s just discussing your plans with us,” your mom says with an endeared smile. “I didn’t know the two of you had so many arrangements for after you graduate, Y/N!” “You should’ve kept us in the loop,” your dad states with a satisfied smile. You swallow hard, approaching on weak knees and collapsing beside your boyfriend. “I’m going to the same university as you are,” Jimin informs with a proud smile, hands knitted together and posture straight. He’s the picture perfect son-in-law, an image crafted to perfection. “What? I mean….h-how do you even know what school I’m going to?” “I saw the acceptance letter, silly.” Jimin smiles. “I can’t believe you hid it from me.” “It was supposed to be a surprise!” you lie frantically, in a rush and spilling out the sentence before your brain can catch up. And once it does, you add in a laugh and quirk your head to the side. “I was waiting for you to get your round of acceptance letters.” Jimin believes you and apologizes for ruining the surprise to which you brush off and tell him it’s okay, that it isn’t a big deal. The crisis is averted until he presents another idea— “We should probably move in together. I’ll have to move out anyway and you will too.” Your mouth opens but your mother exclaims, “That’s a great idea! Jimin’s a good boy who will protect you, Y/N. It’ll make me feel a lot better about you moving so far away.” Jimin smiles. He stays for dinner and your mom fusses about to make sure his stomach is stuffed with her home cooking while your dad reminisces and tells old stories. But you don’t hear anything or taste the food you’ve grown sick of. It’s bland and white noise buzzes against your eardrums— “Y/N.” Jimin slips a hand on top of yours and you flinch before catching yourself. “Y/N. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” You realize your parents have left the table. “I’m fine.” But you fail to notice how Jimin stops smiling when you turn away. // The long awaited day arrives on a brisk morning. You’ve imagined it countless times before — when your head was laid on your desk, when your face was buried in your textbook, when your hand hurt from gripping your pencil. Graduation is the liberation day, another step to moving forward. After years of schooling, it marks another end and another beginning. You always envisioned getting ready with Jihyo, looking at Jimin from faraway, being swept by the crowds and walking away without too many regrets. In many ways, your fantasy is better and worse in reality. It’s worse in the ways that Jihyo doesn’t look at you. When you call her name, catch up to her, she doesn’t so much as acknowledge who you are. She doesn’t even say her last goodbyes. She doesn’t promise to keep in touch. It’s uncomfortable, for you and those around who witness. Your parents aren’t one of them, but they bombard you with questions when you tell them not to call out to her. Questions you beg them not to ask. Jihyo doesn’t even give you the chance to admit your mistakes. So you let her be. You’re not sure what you expected when she’s the master of holding grudges. All you know is that until the end, you did your part on trying to make amends. The rest is on her. You hope she doesn’t regret it. Nevertheless, there are silver linings. Instead of having to peek at Jimin through the masses, of having him accidentally in the background of pictures, he’s by your side. Your crush is yours to call, yours to hold. But a weight still dwells on the back of your mind. As time passes, you know it’s getting worse and worse. He’s becoming less like Jimin and more like a person you no longer recognize. He’s grown distant with his friends as he solely focuses on you — calling you, texting you, asking where you are, telling you how excited he is to move in with you and how you’ll finally be together. And the more Jimin surrounds himself with you, the more sure you become. You have to erase his name from the Love Pages. Even if you don’t want to. There are consequences of the Pages. You’ve stared at the papers, the names, the rules enough to know. The more naturally compatible a couple is, the more effective the Love Pages will be. The less compatible a couple is, the more undesired consequences will arise. And this is a consequence. If Jimin’s worsening obsession is because of the Love Pages, then you need to stop it. You have to vanquish your doubts about him being with you before this future together begins. You want him to love you for you. “Y/N! What are you doing standing there? Move in!” Hoseok is holding his phone to his face, camera open and ready to capture a picture of you and Jimin together. Irene stands beside him with an enormous grin, temporarily holding the bouquet of flowers they gifted to you. In the meanwhile, your parents and Jimin’s are chatting away. “Okay! Perfect! Ready? One, two three!” Your smile is stiff. No matter how hard you try to maintain it, it twitches and never reaches your eyes. When it’s done, Jimin holds your hand and pulls you to his family. Jimin’s dad is friendly and open while his mom is more soft-spoken, but her features are reminiscent of Jimin's. You’re moved when she gives you a bouquet of peonies on top of the flowers Hoseok and Irene, saying how she just bought some from the stand. “Congratulations, sweetheart.” “Thank you.” Jimin playfully pouts. “You didn’t get me any?” His mom lightly scoffs and bats at him. “You don’t even like flowers.” “I swear Y/N’s gonna be drowning in them by the end of this,” he sighs and everyone laughs. Jimin seems so normal on the surface — no one knows what you do. // Your heart is thumping against your rib cage hard enough to bruise. It’s violent in your ear drums and you could clap to the rhythm of your pulse if you chose. But unfortunately, it isn’t from excitement. Not the feeling of rushing down a roller coaster or falling infatuated within seconds. It’s different from the flutter of a first love or the anxiousness of a class presentation. It’s dread. Hope. Remorse. The day has come — time is up. You’ve finally managed to pull Jimin aside in the chaos of graduation celebrations, alone in the house with your parents over at your brother’s. There’s no room for disturbances, for interruptions, no way you can back down from the promise you made. The two of you enter your room and you inhale a deep breath as you turn to face him. Jimin’s brows are furrowed and he searches your expression. “What is it? What have you been wanting to tell me? You know I don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.” Wordlessly, you stride to your desk, pull the bottom drawer and reach below the file folders. Jimin is solemn as he watches you and you pull out what started this all— A pastel pink notebook and in small text at the front, simple words read ‘Love Pages’. You brace yourself, grip tight enough to crinkle the cover. But then you hand it to Jimin. He deserves to see it for himself. Jimin takes it, curious and confused. “What is this?” “You have a right to know what I did, Jimin,” you murmur quietly as he studies the notebook, flips it over, reads the rules, the warning. “I found this notebook by accident and I know I’m going to sound crazy, but it works. Whoever’s name that’s written in it will fall in love with the second written name. And….I-...I wrote your name back in February.” Jimin’s frown deepens. He flips open the pages. You’re too ashamed to look at him. Your downcast head avoids his glance. “I’m sorry,” you snivel and repeat, “I’m sorry.” You’re not sure how many times will be enough — you don’t think it’ll ever be enough. “I….I’m the one who made you this way, Jimin. I liked you and I thought this was a joke and that it would be harmless, so I wrote your name in it and it ended up working...and I was so happy for the longest time,” your voice breaks and you realize your cheeks are wet. “But this isn’t you.” He’s gone completely silent and you swallow hard, the need to explain compulsive. “The way you’re acting, the person you are when you’re with me, it’s—...it’s a consequence of the Love Pages because we’re not compatible.” You’re sobbing and your heart aches as the words choke out of your closing throat. “And I tried to force something that isn’t compatible. So I’m so...so sorry. I made you lose yourself. I...I shouldn’t have ever done this. So I’m going to erase your name. I’m going to undo all of this, I promise.” Jimin stares at you, lips in a straight line, eyes dimmed. “I know you wouldn’t lie to me, Y/N,” he starts and you muster the courage to look at him, “If what you say is true and if this notebook made me love you, then it’s the greatest thing to ever exist.” “What?” “I got the chance to love you, to be with you when I otherwise wouldn’t have, Y/N.” Jimin’s eyes catch the evening sun through the window and his irises glimmer as the corner of his mouth quirks into a smile. “Why would I want to erase my name?” You shake your head. “This isn’t right, Jimin.” You’re not sure how he drew this conclusion on his own and you quickly approach, but then Jimin holds the notebook up. He extends his arm high above his head and out of your reach. “Jimin,” you beg him, “snap out of it.” “I love you, Y/N. Do you not love me?” You try to reach up, get closer to the pink notebook held mockingly above you. But Jimin swiftly dodges your attempt and rounds towards the desk. “I love you, Jimin. Trust me. I really do love you. But it shouldn’t have been this way. I shouldn’t have made our relationship artificial.” “But I love you, Y/N,” he argues, becoming angry. “That’s not artificial!” “If you love me then p-prove it. Let me erase the names!” You lurch forward, fingertips finally gripping onto the edges, but victory is short an inch. Jimin grabs it hard enough to wrinkle the entire book and all its pages. He screams, “No! I won’t let you erase it! I love you and I won’t risk falling out of love with you!” “Stop this, Jimin, please, I’m begging you, let go,” you desperately spew through gritted teeth and it’s all too familiar— Pushing one another, trying to rip it from his grip, grabbing hold of edges, not letting go. You’ve once stood in the same spot, having the same fight with Jihyo. And it’s an irony that makes your mouth bitter. She was right — and you wonder if she would laugh if she knew. But the difference between then and now is that winning twice is harder than once. Jimin’s backed up against your desk, nearly falling on it but his right hand comes to cushion himself. Though as it does, he feels the objects on your desk. In desperation, he grabs whatever he can to succeed, to perhaps distract you with. And he finds the lighter. It takes one second. One for Jimin’s strength to easily overpower yours. For him to yank it hard. For the smooth, pink cover and its white pages filled with endless names to slip from your fingertips. For Jimin to scrape his thumb across the wheel of the lighter. And for you to hear the flickering flare, the rasping sparks, the quiet hum of the orange flame igniting. Jimin brings the fire to the notebook. He burns it, sealing the Love Pages together. “No!” Your last attempt to grab it is futile. You’re left to drop to your knees. The blood-curdling shriek in your ears is unrecognizable until you realize it's yours. Your pupils reflect the tangerine hue of the fire, the ash of the pages curling together, the soft pink that turns to black cinders fluttering down like Spring cherry blossoms in front of you. Jimin’s smile is sweet. “The only way to remove my name is to erase it, right? Look, Y/N. This way, we can always be together.” A tear drips from your lash down your cheeks. Your mouth opens but the sob doesn’t come from your throat already sore from yelling, screaming, apologizing. Instead, you cry like a marble statue shocked in time. Jimin drops the burning corner of the Love Pages and the last of the binding melts into your carpet. He lowers himself and wipes away the tears on your cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “You made me better,” he coos, “the Love pages made me better.” Jimin sighs and caresses your head gently. “If this is what the issue was then I’m actually relieved. I thought you were going to try to break up with me. This obstacle means nothing to me, Y/N. It means nothing to us.” He laughs and quickly reassures, “Soon enough, we’ll move away. No one will be able to find us. We can finally get away from….this. All these distractions. I can finally have you all for myself.” He embraces you, arms wrapped around your body, propping his chin on top of your shoulder and breathing in the scent of your hair. It’s suffocating. Your eyes dim. Jimin’s trapped you. He’s caught you in his web.

You think about running. Even when he follows you half across the country under the guise of continuing education, you think about running in the middle of the night while he’s asleep. You fantasize about slowly slinking the arm slung around your body off, moving his dead weight from you, or moving during the day when he’s forced to be away. Before it’s too late. Before it worsens. You can still escape. But somehow, Jimin always knows where you are. He texts at night when you’re gone for too long. He calls when you’re at the grocery store to buy certain things he forgot. And you know for a fact, he would track you down and look for you until his last breath if you tried to flee. But your hesitance is not only because of him. It’s your fault too. A part of you always stops, with one foot out the door of the apartment and your bag slung over your shoulder in the middle of the night. You’re unable to abandon the faded image of the boy you used to long for. Unable to stop the guilt from overwhelming you that you began this. That you’re the one who reduced him to this crazed state from your own selfishness. And the only way to undo what’s happened to him is gone. For just a moment, you wanted to be loved. But what was an innocent wish morphed into a sin you blinded yourself too. All those months ago, had you done nothing, had you sat still, it would’ve never been like this. And that haunts you. You can’t bear to abandon Jimin, to try to get away, to call the police and attempt an escape. You can’t make him surrender his entire life, disappoint his family, lose his scholarship, mark his history with red. You can’t make him lose more of himself than what he’s already lost. Jimin is both the benefit and the consequence you have to shoulder for the choices you made. “Y/N! Come here!” Your mother rushes you in for a hug and pastes a wet kiss on your cheek. “I’m so glad the two of you could make it back for your winter break! I missed you so much.” Jimin shadows you, dragging in the suitcases and your mother smiles at him. “Jimin! You too! Get in here!” She hugs him as he giggles and pats her back. The festive music plays in the background, your dad, brother and sister-in-law in the living room chatting away. But you don’t enter the warm room. Rather, you ascend the darkened staircase. The pitch black envelops your form until you reach for the knob of your old room. The door creaks as it swings open. Your room is undisturbed, just like you left it except for the thin layer of dust sitting on the furniture. You remember when you sat at the desk, when you knew absolutely nothing. Stiffly, you take two strides and sit back down on the creaking chair. You flick the table lamp on and off, watching how it illuminates the space before darkening it again, listening to the click of the button. Then, your eyes travel to the discarded lighter. You pick it up, rolling the wheel and observing the flame that sparks. A moment later, you put it down and instinctively from the habits you’ve built, you reach down to tug open the bottom drawer. As if you’ll see the Love Pages reappear. As if the notebook will sit right there as it did for so long. But instead, you notice a folded piece of lined paper tucked at the side. You take it out, studying the page in a transfixed state. The lines are a light blue, the white crisp and clean, but it’s completely torn on the side. You remember. “Erase Jimin’s name.” Jihyo all that time ago, tried to convince you to erase his name. You should’ve listened to her then, salvaged your friendship while you still could. But what was left of her and that fight was this page torn out of the Love Pages. You stare at it. The final evidence of such a notebook ever existing. And then you’re grabbing the pen on your desk. The ink bleeds on the page, letters feathering away, but you scratch it hard enough to hear, looping the names onto the paper, knowing it’s permanent— L/N Y/N Park Jimin Jimin shuffles into the room and notices your backside cowering over the desk. “Sweetheart, is there something wrong? Are you hiding something?” You turn from the chair and he’s startled from your enormous grin and your brightened eyes. You shake your head and run to him, lurching forward. “Jimin!” You throw your arms around his neck and he stumbles back from the impact of your embrace. “I love you so, so much.” It’s hard to express the feelings that have suddenly devastated you, so you tear yourself from him to kiss him. It’s an eager kiss, one where your mouths smack together, where you’re gripping his sweater, tasting him and trying to get as close as you can but to no avail. All you’re aware of is the need to have Jimin by your side. You might die without him here. When you pull away, he’s grinning, happy that you aren’t so distant anymore. “You love me, right?” “Of course, I do!” Jimin’s almost upset at the question. “Why would you even ask that?!” You laugh joyfully, the sound chortling from your throat. Your chest is rising and falling, pupils blown wide as your massive grin makes your cheeks ache. “Then you’re mine.” “That’s right. I’m yours.” You embrace Jimin again, arms wrapped tightly around his warm torso as your nose digs into his shoulder and his own arms cage your body. It feels like you’ve been sewn to each other by your skin and the thought makes you even more giddy. You love him so much, more than the whole world itself.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #jimin angst #jimin fluff #bts angst #bts yandere #bts yandere AU #I know what you're thinking #two dark Jimin fics in a row???#yes lol #the schedule ended up working out that way so I hope y'all don't mind #the fluff will soon be returning to my blog

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