#<- implied. didn't happen in this particular answer though) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uvobreakmylegs · 1 month ago

Text

Astray

Chrollo x female!reader

Part 2 (coming soon)

Warnings: death, implied torture, graphic depictions of violence, reader isn't necessarily a terrible person but she's not all that great either

Word Count: 7.2k

“Excuse me, miss?”

The voice that called out to you made you stop in your tracks, and though internally you were cursing, you made sure there was a pleasant smile on your face while you turned away from the hamper full of linens you'd been wheeling to the third floor laundry chute, folding your hands politely in front as you addressed the person who had called for you.

A man stood before you, one who was very obviously here as a guest for the banquet your employer was hosting based on the nice suit he wore that was in line with the dress code of this particular black-tie event. The paleness of his skin seemed to be accentuated by the darkness of his short black hair and the equally dark black suit he wore. Though with how clearly expensive his suit was, you were a little surprised at the bandage which covered his forehead. Had he possibly injured himself and wanted to cover it up? His earrings also seemed a bit odd.

It didn't really matter to you, however. Whatever curiosities you may or may not have about him, it was in your best interests to make him leave you alone so you could continue with what you were doing.

“What did you need, sir?” you asked politely.

He smiled at you, appearing to be embarrassed as he scratched at his cheek while saying “I'm afraid I've gotten a bit lost. I'm not quite sure where the main dining hall is. Can you help me?”

“Of course, sir,” you replied, pointing down the hallway he'd come from as you continued “you'll need to walk down to the very end of this hall, make a right, then go down the first set of stairs you come across. You should find yourself outside the dining hall once you reach the bottom.”

“Ah, that simple, is it?” the man said.

How did you even end up over here when the event is clearly being held on the first floor? You thought to yourself.

You kept your outward appearance pleasant as you continued to smile at him.

The man shook his head as he added “now I feel silly. I'm sorry to waste your time over this. You must be busy with all the work that must be done around here.”

“It's no trouble, sir. The mansion's layout can be confusing for those who haven't been here before,” you cheerfully answered.

Now go away. Don't make me escort you there, either.

Sadly for you, the man wanted to talk.

“You know the layout well, then,” he said.

No fucking shit

“They wouldn't keep me employed here if I couldn't memorize that much.”

After hearing your answer, it seemed as though he was studying you. His gray eyes took in every detail about your face, your hair and the way you held yourself. Though the moment wouldn't last long, it was somewhat unsettling.

Maybe he had a thing for maids.

That thought made you cringe internally before another possibility came to mind:

Maybe he recognized the face of the dead girl you were using as your disguise.

You wouldn't have thought anyone would have noticed the likeness, given that the girl in question had died five years prior due to a boating accident in a different country. As the story was kept largely local to the area in which it happened, not many international news outlets bothered to cover it, most not caring much about a single woman dying.

No one working within the mansion questioned you during the time you'd been here, but with guests coming from all different parts of the world, you were aware of the possibility that at least one of them might recognize your disguise and possibly expose you.

Did he know about her?

More importantly, was he going to question you about it and keep you here longer?

“You've been working here for some time, then?” he asked.

Motherfucker

“Yes sir. Nearly six months,” you told him.

Go away

“That's a decent amount of time,” he said.

“I suppose so, sir,” you agreed.

Go away

“May I ask you another question?”

No. Go away

“Of course, sir.”

“Do you know of the diadem the Pelletier's acquired nearly two years back?” he asked.

…. That gave you pause, and though you tried to hide it, he had likely noticed your reaction.

Of all the things he could've asked about, why did it need to be that?

“I do, sir,” you answered.

Suddenly, you were very unsure of where this conversation was going.

“I've heard that it's kept within a vault on this floor,” he told you, “I understand that there is a very thin chance that you would allow for it, but if possible, I was wondering if you might take me to it.”

Are you fucking serious?

“… Sir, even if I do know where the vault is located,” you answered carefully, “my employers would never entrust the vault combination to a lowly maid like myself. There would be no point in taking you there.”

He smiled.

“Just being in the proximity would be enough. And I'd be more than happy to compensate for your troubles.”

“I'm sure you could, sir. But what I'm not sure of is if your compensation would be enough to provide for me when I lose my job after a stunt like that,” you said, “I'm afraid the answer will have to be 'no'.”

Just go away already

“Hm.”

Despite your desperate wishes, he wasn't going away. He was looking you over yet again, and though you didn't see any signs that he recognized your face yet, you didn't like how closely he observed you.

He couldn't tell you were using nen, could he?

“There really isn't anything I can do for you to help me out?” he asked.

You laughed a bit.

“Not unless you're willing to take me in and provide for me so I never need to work again, but I get the feeling you wouldn't want that,” you answered.

After you spoke, you realized how casual your tone had become, which didn't fit at all with the role of the polite maid who worked for the upper class couple that you were currently playing. You then cleared your throat before switching to the tone that was expected of you.

“So I'm afraid that continuing this discussion would be a waste of time for both of us,” you said.

He nodded.

“I agree,” he said.

He smiled after saying that, and suddenly it was like all of the playful charm he'd been using to try and win you over with was gone. The smile seemed incredibly fake, and the coldness you could see in his eyes sent a chill running down your spine.

For an instant, it felt like you were in danger being alone with him.

The feeling went away when you saw him glance back in the direction he had come from, and your gaze followed where his went when you heard a voice that yelled out.

“Minette! What are you – ! Oh.”

The voice that was yelling down the hallway ceased almost immediately, and when you and the man turned to see who had called out your alias, you found yourself looking at the head butler, Nikolos. He looked uncomfortable, most likely because he had been ready to reprimand you but hadn't expected to find you with one of the guests. Evidently he was upset with you, but was not willing to scream at you in front of the man who was speaking to you.

He composed himself, if barely, forcing a smile as he looked at the man.

“Ah, good evening, sir,” Nikolos said to him, “how may we help you?”

Before the man could answer him, you interjected.

“He lost his way,” you said, “he stopped to ask me how get to the dining hall. He was just about to head back.”

Surprisingly, the man played along, affirming your story with a nod of his head when Nikolos looked to him. Although maybe it wasn't too surprising seeing as he'd been trying to bribe you so he could get close to an expensive piece that belonged to the master of the house. Whatever this guy was hoping to gain from tonight, he wouldn't be able to do that if he was kicked out of the event.

“I see,” Nikolos said, adding “my apologies for keeping you, sir.”

“Not at all,” the man answered, a pleasant smile on his face as he continued with “I hope my getting lost hasn't caused issues for anyone.”

“Of course not, sir.”

The man looked back to you one last time as he thanked you for your help.

His smile looked fake again.

But in fairness, the smile you gave back to him was equally fake.

Still, that moment between you had been uncomfortable, as brief as it had been, so you were more than happy when the man finally made his way back where he was supposed to be, and you let out a small breath of relief. Though you caught him looking back at you as he rounded the corner.

Whatever it was that guy really wanted, you got the feeling he wouldn't be giving up so easily.

But that wasn't important right now, as the instant the man was out of sight, Nikolos turned to you, his expression stiff and and his form shaking with badly hidden rage.

“What. The hell. Do you think you're doing?” he hissed.

He was much quieter than when he had first approached you.

“I'm taking the linens to the chute,” you answered.

“Right now? When we have guests and need everyone at their stations? You thinks now is a good time to mess around with the laundry?”

You swore you could see steam beginning to come out of his ears. The other maids weren't lying when they said he was a control freak whenever it came to the lavish feasts the Pelletier's hosted.

“I'm sorry, sir,” you said, your tone apologetic, “I just thought it would be better to get this out of the way and then focus on the banquet.”

“You thought wrong,” Nikolos said, “now hurry up and get to your station.”

“Of course, sir.”

You began to walk down the hall, leaving the cart of linens where you'd left it.

Nikolos stopped you.

“You're just going to leave that?” he asked, pointing to the cart.

“But you told me to get to my station?” you replied, feigning ignorance.

“…. You're either incurably stupid or a smart ass,” he said, “neither option is one that I care for.”

“Get the linens out of the hallway and to the chute,” Nikolos continued, “and then get to your station.”

“Of course, sir,” you replied happily.

Nikolos' eye twitched upon hearing your tone. As you grabbed the cart again and began to push, he called after you.

“Once the dinner is finished, we will be having a very long discussion about your conduct today, Minette.”

“Yes sir!”

Fat chance, asshole

The instant you came upon the room with the laundry chute, you let out an even bigger sigh of relief. You weren't safe yet, but you felt that you were at least halfway done with this operation.

And in your opinion, getting the diadem out of the vault had been the harder part.

Digging through the linens, you found the small messenger bag that you had stashed inside of it only minutes earlier and you couldn't help but laugh a little. That man had tried to get you to take him to the Pelletier's bedroom while telling you that just being in the diadem's proximity would be enough, and yet he'd had no clue that he was standing only a few feet from it the entire time he'd been talking to you.

As much as you wanted to pull it out to look at it, this wasn't the place nor the time to revel in the spoils of your heist. Anyone could still find you in here – most likely Nikolos since you were clearly on his radar. If you weren't where you were supposed to be within the next five minutes he'd be raging.

Best to not be around for that.

Sliding up the door that opened up into the chute, you pulled the messenger bag over your head and secured it to yourself, keeping a hand on the box within that held the diadem.

After that, you took a breath –

And jumped down the chute.

Your fall was broken by the dirty laundry and the multitude of pillows and sheets that you had been padding the bottom with throughout the entire day, slipping away whenever you had the chance to make sure you wouldn't break anything when you jumped down there. That was likely part of what Nikolos had been referring to when he mentioned your conduct, as several of the other members of staff had been annoyed with how often you had left.

Just as you had anticipated, there was no one in the laundry room when you popped out from the bottom of the chute. Everyone else was busy with the banquet. And as such, no one would notice a single maid slipping out through the back.

But just to make sure of that fact, you enacted your zetsu before making your way into the back courtyard.

You felt your heart racing in your chest despite everything going just as you had planned. The only thing that was unexpected was when you came across the smaller back entrance. With everyone's attention being on the mansion and the main gates, this entrance was meant to be locked and bolted. For some reason it wasn't. Odd, but at least it saved you a few seconds that would've been eaten up with you undoing the locks.

You were on higher alert, though, and you kept your movements quiet as you exited through the back and made your way into a wooded area that surrounded the walls of the mansion.

Not too much longer. I'll find it soon and then I can – Ah!

Beneath a tarp, a pile of leaves and some branches was the motorized scooter you had stashed the other week for a quick and easy escape. Though starting up the motor this close to the mansion wouldn't be the wisest idea, so after pulling up the kickstand, you walked the scooter through the trees, looking back every so often to the mansion in case your plans had somehow been discovered and there were people coming out to find you.

There wasn't any such activity, and when you made it to the road, you hopped onto the scooter, started it up and drove off. It was somewhat difficult driving with the skirt of your dress being as long as it was, but you managed. Right now you wanted to have a good distance between you and the mansion before you removed your disguise.

The adrenaline was pumping through you again. Just as it had when you snuck into the Pelletier's master bedroom and input the code to the vault. The chances of you being caught were high and if that were to happen, the half a year you'd spent at that place would've all been wasted. All the time, effort and planning gone up in smoke.

But no one had come in, and you got into the vault without issue, taking the diadem out of its glass case and replacing it with a cheap plastic replica that you'd bought online. Your disappearance would noted tonight, but with any luck, it would take a few days before your former employers would realize the switch. And by that point, you'd be long gone. Your alias would vanish into thin air and there would be nothing to connect you to the theft of the Pelletier's most prized possession.

You drove, getting further and further away from the mansion and closer and closer to the coastal town where a ferry would be leaving soon, one that would take you from Begerosse to Hantane, and from there you'd head east, taking the diadem with you for the sake of the awaiting buyer.

But before you got to that point, you needed to change.

And as a darkened church building came into view, you turned and pulled into the parking lot, heading towards a dumpster that sat in the back. The building itself wasn't useful to you, but what was important was that there would be no one here at this time of night, and you knew for a fact that the cameras that had been mounted on the sides of the church were only for show and weren't actually recording anything.

So no one would witness it when you took off that dead girl's face.

Turning off the bike and setting it on the kickstand, you moved fast, undoing the buttons at the back of your maid dress while you walked to the large dumpster. All other clothing you'd worn during your time at the mansion had been destroyed earlier, so this was all that was left. While a fire wouldn't destroy everything, it would be difficult for any potential investigators to find much that was useful on the remains of the clothes if or when they were discovered.

After fully removing the dress that had hidden your regular clothing beneath it, switching out the black heeled shoes for ones a bit more comfortable and tossing all of it into the largely empty space of the dumpster, there was only one thing left to do.

Death Mask: deactivate

For the third and final time since you had donned her visage, the skin at the edges of your face began to peel off. You grabbed hold of them and pulled so as to speed up the process of removing her face, like you were pulling off a face mask. As the illusion of her features were removed, yours were returned, and within a matter of moments, you were holding a paper thin copy of the boating accident girl's face, the empty holes that made up the eyes and mouth gaping at you while your own face was now restored.

Now you needed to finish the last of your conditions for your hatsu.

Throwing the mask on top of the pile, you pulled out the last two things you'd been hiding in the bag: a box of matches and a small canister of lighter fluid. You soaked the contents of the pile with the lighter fluid before throwing the canister on top as well, and took one of the matches from the box and struck it.

The thin layer of skin that had hidden your face for six months stared up at you as it sat on top of your maid uniform, quietly watching both you and the lit match you held above it.

Ah….. Her name. It was Jennica.

“I'm really sorry you died in that accident, Jennica,” you said aloud, “I hope you're at peace and that you ended up somewhere good. You deserved better than what you got.”

The flames shot up after you threw the match and the rest of the box onto the pile, making you quickly back away as soon as you felt the heat hitting your skin. No time to stay and watch – you got on the scooter again and started it up. Within seconds you were on the road again, keeping an eye on your surroundings and the names of the roads.

By now “Minette” would likely be discovered as being absent, and you could imagine Nikolos trying to keep his composure for the sake of appearances while desperately – and no doubt angrily – trying to find the missing maid.

The thought made you smile; after the six months of dealing with him on a daily basis, that stress of his was well-earned.

As was your reward.

When you were far away enough that you felt comfortable that no one would suspect that you had anything to do with the mansion or the evidence burning at the back of the church, you couldn't help but pull over, leaving the bike running as you parked beneath a flickering streetlight.

You needed to see it.

You'd spent so long on this job, so much time and effort and close calls that were much closer than you would ever admit out loud. So much effort spent on one piece of jewelry. You needed to get a look at it. A proper look, not the quick five second glance you'd gotten before stuffing it into the bag when you were in a hurry to leave the vault.

After pulling it out from the confines of the messenger bag, the diadem sparkled in the lamplight. You could see why this was a piece many would want.

A large, circular sapphire sat at the center, accompanied by a piece of opal on the side that had been shaped so that both gems together resembled the light and the dark of a crescent moon. The rest of the diadem was made of silver, and the material had been bent in places so it resembled the clouds of a night sky, and sprinkled throughout the piece were diamonds that represented far off stars.

It was very pretty, if a bit gaudy. Certainly a product of it's time, when one's status was determined by the amount of diamonds you were able to afford to place on literally everything.

Excessive, but very pretty regardless, and it was little wonder why there were people willing to anything to get their hands on it.

That's enough time looking at it, you told yourself, shoving it back into the bag and quickly driving off again. If you dawdled any longer you ran the risk of missing the ferry.

But this time you couldn't help the smile that reached from ear to ear. You'd done it. You'd actually pulled off the biggest heist of your career. Once this got to the buyer, you'd be set for life. You could spend the rest of your days relaxing on a beach while sipping expensive drinks if you wanted. Or maybe something a bit less extravagant and on the down-low. Maybe you could find a cabin near a lake and spend your time reading under a heated blanket. That also sounded nice. Then again, you didn't necessarily need to be tied down to one place; you could always travel wherever you liked without worrying about cost. Ah, the possibilities were endless.

Get it to the buyer first, you told yourself. Finish the job so you can get your money, and then plan for the vacation that would be the rest of your life.

The smile stayed on your face as you drove, and you knew that this was a turning point in your life.

A major one.

“Boss.”

There was an oddly flat tone to Phinks' voice as he called out, Chrollo noted as he and Pakunoda turned to look in the enhancer's direction.

“Something wrong, Phinks?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

Phinks turned to look at him while he pointed to the diadem with his thumb.

“This is fake.”

Chrollo didn't betray any emotion when he heard that. He walked forward and stood next to Phinks, inspecting the piece from where it sat on a small display stand before he hummed to himself.

“So it is.”

At first glance, the piece behind the glass looked to be the real thing. But when one looked closer, it became clear that it was nothing more than shiny plastic.

“This is just a decoy, then?” Phinks asked him.

“It seems to be,” Chrollo answered.

He looked back to Pakunoda.

“The man of the house is still alive, correct?”

“He should be.”

“Have Feitan interrogate him some more. Find out where the real one is,” he said.

“Got it,” Pakunoda said before she left the vault.

Chrollo looked back to the fake. A cheap decoy. Perhaps a bit odd, but it did make sense; while the other items in the vault were real, the diadem was worth more than everything else combined. That the owners would take extra precaution in hiding their most valuable piece wouldn't be unreasonable.

And yet….

Even with that train of logic, Chrollo couldn't help feeling that there was something about this that felt off. Something about this situation didn't feel right, but what it was exactly, he wasn't sure.

His mind kept going back to the maid he'd encountered earlier.

Something had been off with her as well. Not only had there been an air of strangeness about her, she was eager to get away from him, like she was in a hurry to do something else. And while she had been polite with him, he'd been able to sense the growing irritation in her the longer he kept her.

Though perhaps that could've been explained away as a maid who was busy with her duties that came with a high-stress position in a mansion while being forced to entertain a pushy guest when she had other things to do.

But still, the longer Chrollo thought about her, the more he felt that there had been something going on with her. He simply couldn't place what it was yet, nor could he connect anything between her or the fake diadem in front of him.

She had gotten visibly nervous when he mentioned the diadem earlier, he noted to himself.

Phinks had pulled the glass case off of its stand before grabbing the plastic copy. He began to inspect it, turning it around and stopping when he read something on the back.

“Anouilh Museum,” he mumbled.

“That was where the real one was kept for a time before it made its way to auction,” Chrollo said, “it seems this one was originally from their gift shop.”

“Hm.”

There wasn't much else to say about it, and Phinks put the fake back in place on the stand before he and Chrollo went through the rest of the vault's contents. Under normal circumstances, Feitan would get the information out of his victim quickly and they would have the item they were searching for.

Clearly the circumstances were far from normal as Pakunoda returned a short while later with a hint of worry on her face.

“He doesn't know where it is,” she said.

“He doesn't?” Chrollo repeated.

“No. Even with Feitan working him over, he insisted that it was in this vault,” said Pakunoda, “just to be certain, I looked through his memories to see if he was lying, and he isn't. It's supposed to be in here.”

…. Chrollo's feeling that something was off was starting to become more justified.

When Chrollo stood before Benoit Pelletier not long after, the man was kneeling in the middle of the third floor hallway and wheezing out every breath as he cradled an injured hand. Feitan hadn't needed to do much to make him crack, it seemed. The former grandiose man of the house looked up when Chrollo, Phinks and Pakunoda approached him, and when he saw the fake that Phinks was holding, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Why…. Why are you asking about where it is if you have it?” Benoit asked. Then despite the circumstances, a small bit of pompous arrogance came back as he asked “are you stupid?”

That annoyed Phinks to the point that he crushed the fake in his hands, much to the man's shock and disbelief as he yelled as to what he was doing.

“It's a fake, dumbass,” Phinks growled at him.

Benoit seemed just as shocked upon realizing that, looking at the plastic pieces that now littered the floor.

“It can't be,” he breathed, “it was real. I… The historians confirmed it….. I didn't buy a fake. It was genuine.”

There was no point in continuing to ask if he knew where the real one was; his reaction was proof enough that the place where the fake had been was supposed to be where the real one was.

“Did your wife know the code to the vault?” Chrollo asked him, “did she move it elsewhere for safekeeping?”

He shook his head.

“I'm the only one that knows….. If she wanted anything she needed to ask me first,” he mumbled, “no one….. No one else could've known.”

“I see,” said Chrollo, “then I have only one more question: what can you tell me about a maid in your employ who goes by the name 'Minette'?”

Benoit seemed bewildered at the question.

“Who is that?” he asked in response.

“You don't know your own employees?” Chrollo asked back.

“We have dozens of maids who work here; how am I supposed to know a single one of them?”

“I see. In that case, your usefulness has run out.”

“Wha-”

He hadn't even gotten out one word before Feitan had pulled out his sword and stabbed it through his head, the blade passing through the top of his mouth and forcing open his jaw as it stabbed through. The blood that dripped down along the blade caused a gurgling noise to emit from his throat as the light left his eyes and his body grew limp. Feitan then placed his foot on the man's shoulder as he pulled the sword out, and the body fell to the floor, blood now beginning to pool around the head as his mouth hung open, gaping like a fish.

“So the diadem was never real, then?” Phinks asked.

“No, it had to be. The fake wasn't good enough to fool someone for long. You were able to confirm it after looking at it for a few moments,” Chrollo pointed out.

“So then….?”

“Someone switched it out.”

“And if it wasn't the owners….” Phinks said, trailing off as he glanced down at the body.

Pakunoda finished the enhancer's sentence as she said “then someone else must have gotten to it before we could.”

“It's beginning to seem that way,” Chrollo confirmed.

The three members of the troupe that were gathered glanced at each other while the face of the maid flashed in Chrollo's mind again.

He'd seen her last in the hallway of one of the upper floors – this floor, pushing a cart of linens toward a laundry chute. He'd been listening in to her conversation with the butler, and had heard him order her to remove the cart before she returned to her station.

Remove the cart and take it to the chute, he had told her.

“There's a laundry chute on this floor, correct?” Chrollo asked.

“Yeah,” Pakunoda replied, “somewhere on the other side of the house.”

“Is the chute important?” Phinks asked him.

“I'm not sure yet,” Chrollo said.

Looking back to Phinks and Feitan, Chrollo gave his orders as he said “Phinks, I want you to go back to the vault and continue packaging the items in there. Feitan, you go downstairs and bring Shizuku back up, and the two of you will help Phinks in the vault. Under no circumstances is she to use Blinky for anything else unless I say so. Tell her that, and remind her if she forgets.”

Phinks and Feitan nodded in understanding, and while the torturer began to make his way downstairs, Phinks lingered as he asked “what about you, boss?”

“Pakunoda and I need to check something out.”

That was enough for Phinks before he made his way back to the vault, leaving Chrollo and Pakunoda to being their walk to the other side of the mansion. Pakunoda was already looking at him expectantly, correctly anticipating that he needed her for a specific reason.

“Paku, I need you to scan my mind,” Chrollo said, “look in my memories for a maid I spoke with who went by the name of Minette.”

He held his hand out, and Pakunoda took it as they walked while she repeated “a maid named Minette?”

Within a moment, Pakunoda hummed as she gained the memories of the maid from Chrollo.

“You think she's the one who switched the diadem out for the fake?” she asked as she let go of his hand.

“Possibly,” said Chrollo.

“That could be an issue if she hid it before she died.”

“If she died.”

“You think she escaped?”

“That's what we're going to see,” Chrollo said, “depending on what we find, we may need to have Shizuku bring back the bodies Blinky cleaned up and go through the remains of the maids one by one.”

“That could take some time. The Pelletier's employed a lot of staff for their day to day needs, and that doesn't include the extra workers they hired just for tonight.” Paku commented.

“I know. It's not ideal, but we'll at least have a few hours before anyone notices something amiss here. If a majority of us look through the bodies we should be able to find her.”

“Unless she left.”

“Unless she left,” Chrollo confirmed.

A few short moments later, Chrollo and Pakunoda were in the same place he'd been not even an hour earlier, where he had spoken to the maid. From there, it was a short walk until they found the room that had the laundry chute.

“The cart is here,” Chrollo noted aloud, looking at the cart the maid had been pushing when he first saw her. It stood in the middle of the room, right in front of the chute.

“She didn't bother to take the sheets out,” Pakunoda commented.

“She took something out,” Chrollo said as he looked over the contents of the cart. The sheets were disturbed, as though they had been rooted through. Had the diadem been inside it the entire time and he hadn't realized? And if that was the case, where did she go after she came to this room?

His eyes went to the most direct answer: the laundry chute at the end of the room.

Chrollo pushed the cart to the side, and once he reached the chute, he pushed up the small door to open it and then pulled his leg over the edge. He then looked to Paku, who hadn't moved.

“Care to join me?” he asked.

“I think I'd rather take the stairs,” she answered.

Chrollo huffed out a small laugh as he playfully asked “what, no sense of adventure, Paku?”

“Oddly enough, I don't see jumping into a pit of dirty laundry to be much of an adventure,” she said, but she smiled as she added “I'll see you below.”

Chrollo smiled back at her, and then lifted his other leg. Shortly after, he was falling down the chute.

His fall was broken by more padding than he had expected. Lifting up a portion of the linens he'd fallen on, he hummed to himself when he found a great deal of pillows and sheets underneath.

So this was where “Minette” had landed.

The path was obvious to him after he'd stepped out of the laundry room; in an adjacent hallway, there was a door that led out to the back of the mansion, and even from where he currently stood, through the window of the door he was able to see a clear path to an exit within the wall that surrounded the structure, one that appeared to have been left unlocked. With all of the focus at the time being on the banquet hall, no one would have noticed the maid slip out that way.

“How likely is it that she got away?” Pakunoda's voice called out to him.

He turned to find her approaching.

“Extremely likely,” he answered.

She stopped when she reached him as she asked “should we still look through the bodies?”

“For now, no,” Chrollo said, “for now the others will continue as planned for the rest of the job.”

Pakunoda cocked her head to the side as she asked “should I assume that the two of us will be looking for the maid beyond the mansion?”

Chrollo nodded, then added with a small smirk “I hope going out into the woods at night is more acceptable than jumping into dirty laundry.”

“It is. Slightly,” Paku countered.

With that, the two exited down the hall and through the back door that lead to the outside. As the two spiders made their way across the large open courtyard enclosed within the walls, Chrollo's thoughts were consumed by one person and one person alone:

Minette.

The maid.

The thief.

Or rather, the fellow thief.

At the very least, a potential one. Even if the evidence he had found at this point seemed to point to that conclusion, Chrollo wanted to see more before he accepted that as fact. If the maid had indeed escaped with the treasure he had set his sights on, there would be evidence of that beyond the mansion.

That evidence was easily found only a few minutes later, when he and Pakunoda came across a discarded piece of tarp left abandoned within the woods. That evidence was accompanied by combination of tire tracks and footprints which had been embedded into the soft dirt of the forest floor. The two naturally followed, only for their journey to be cut relatively short when they reached the road and found no more tracks to find on the dense pavement.

“Depending on when she left, she could be long gone by now,” Pakunoda said aloud.

“She could,” Chrollo agreed.

“Do we intend to follow her?”

“… At this moment, no.”

With everything falling into place and it all but being confirmed that the maid had stolen the diadem, Chrollo turned and began to make his way back through the woods as he said “even if we went by vehicle, it's unlikely that we'll catch up to her. We'll only be wandering around aimlessly since we don't know where she went. At this point, it's better to finish the current job and then figure out the most likely route she took after the fact.”

He noted the way Pakunoda followed him once more as they both headed towards the mansion, but Chrollo's thoughts were consumed once more – on what to do from here, and how this had occurred in the first place.

It was an unprecedented situation – for the Phantom Troupe to have someone swoop in and steal their target before they could.

That fact would inevitably mar the heist, no matter how many others of the high-value items they collected from the mansion. The Diadem of Princess Despoina was the main item he had set his sights on when he chose to have the troupe descend on the Pelletiers, so to have it be snatched away from him by the hands of another thief only left his carefully laid out plan to end in failure.

Yet as Chrollo continued his walk through the woods, he found that he wasn't upset by the idea.

Perhaps that was a bit odd. Others in his position would likely be raging, and while he wasn't prone to bursts of anger like that, being irritated at the situation and the individual who had caused it would have been reasonable. Or even to be irritated with himself, as when he thought back to his brief encounter with the maid, Chrollo quickly realized that everything could have wound up differently had he chosen to act sooner. If he had chosen to kill the maid and the butler that had come barging around the corner, he wouldn't be outside searching for a sign of where she had gone. Instead, he or one of the other members of the troupe would have found the diadem hidden in the linens and that would be that. That the maid was stealing the diadem would be an interesting tidbit which would be easily forgotten in time.

To know now that the outcome he had desired hinged completely on that one action of his should have been annoying, at the very least.

But he didn't even feel that.

Instead, an entirely different emotion was filling within him, and though he attempted to keep his true feelings hidden, Pakunoda was far too perceptive for him to hide it from her.

“You seem rather amused by this, boss,” she said.

Chrollo shrugged lightly as he said “it's not something that's ever happened before.”

“No. But even I thought you would be a little upset over it.”

“I don't see it worth being upset over. If anything, it's an interesting turn of events. That some little sneak was able to get in and out with our intended prize.”

He felt the eyebrow Pakunoda raised in his direction as she said “you sound like you want to praise her, boss.”

“Maybe a little,” Chrollo admitted, “with the members we have in our rank, the fact that she was able to get away without anyone noticing deserves at least some praise.”

“But was that due to skill on her part? Or luck?”

“That's what we'll find out.”

As the lights in the mansion grew brighter as they got closer, Chrollo was thinking of the steps to be taken next; once the current job was done, the obvious action was to have Shalnark look up the fastest routes out of this area. Though Shalnark may not even have to do that much – there was a coastal town nearby, as Chrollo recalled, and he felt certain that if he was in the shoes of that maid, he would have headed there and left as soon as possible. If that was the case, it would be as simple as finding out what ships had left the port during that window of time and getting ahold of any possible security video.

The issue of retrieving the diadem could be taken care of within a few days if that was the case.

But Chrollo had a feeling that it wouldn't be so simple.

There was something about her that still bothered him. But all he could truly point to in that regard was that her voice didn't match her face. It was hardly conclusive proof of anything, and yet that fact felt important. Time would only tell if he was correct or not.

Perhaps that was why he was so unbothered by the theft. Perhaps that theft itself was why he found himself more interested in the person who had committed it. By little “Minette” who was trying so hard to appear soft and sweet while barely being able to hide her true self and the way she wanted to strangle him for holding her up.

Thinking back to that previous encounter, Chrollo couldn't help but chuckle, and he found himself wanting to see her again – to see you again, whoever you were. He sincerely hoped that you had been sloppy when you made your escape and would make hunting you down easier for him, because he wanted to get his hands on you as soon as possible to learn more about you, to learn what exactly your ability was.

And to see exactly how you would react if he was able to take that from you.

The diadem was an afterthought by this point.

#reader insert #yandere x reader #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere #yandere hxh #hxh x reader

616 notes · View notes

heavensoutofsight · 4 months ago

Text

stay with me | b.e.

SYNOPSIS: when your emotions get the best of you, billie is always there.

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

TAGS/WARNINGS: a little bit of angst, but mostly fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, established relationship, reader is implied to be socially anxious (just like me fr)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hello i am so sorry if maybe this short lil fic is boring but honestly this is really self-indulgent and what i fantasize about often as a stressed as fuck college student to be real and i just wanted to get it out of my mind 😞😞 idk if this will be comforting to any of you as well but if so i'd be glad :))) enjoyyy.

(divider cred: @/strangergraphics-archive)

[ TAGLIST: @hannahluvsbillie, @bilssturns, @bla1rxoxo, @billiesrighthand, @weluvwbb, @belleishot, @natbelovasblog, @wilfdflwr8, @likefirenrain, @amara-eilish, @sevikasleftbicep ]

The second you stepped through your door, your feet began moving on their own, walking you toward a specific room in yours and Billie's home that was quickly becoming a place you spent more time in than your own shared bedroom.

Billie still went over to Finneas's place to work sometimes, but whenever she wanted to do some stuff on her own, she'd play around in her own studio at home. It wasn't perfect by any means, and she was still in the process of decorating the space and buying more equipment, but she had the essentials, and even though her little studio was still a new place she was already well acquainted with the space.

You were well acquainted with the area as well, because there was one thing you loved to do more than anything, and that was sit down on the little sofa in there and watch and listen your girlfriend work; which was exactly what you were desperately wanting to do as soon as you came back home from work.

Before you entered the studio, you could hear Billie recording some vocals, and for a few minutes you stood outside the door, listening carefully sporting a small smile. The stress of everything that happened at work and during the rest of the day was already leaving your body.

You gave a couple of small knocks before slowly entering the room, and upon hearing the door creak open, Billie swiveled around in her seat, her microphone still in her hand. The image of her, with her long hair framing her face and looking all cozy in an oversized shirt and simple sweats made your heart warm. To you, she was home personified.

A smile that stretched from ear to ear immediately appeared on her face as she greeted you. She stood up, meeting you eye-to-eye, wrapping her arms around your waist and giving you a quick kiss. She squeezed your waist ever so gently, pulling away and looking at you with pure affection in her eyes.

"How was your day?" She asked softly. You didn't immediately respond with a verbal answer; you simply sighed, leaning forward to rest your head on her shoulder, pulling Billie in closer. You inhaled the clean scent of her hoodie, which smelled like her perfume, a scent that very quickly became comforting for you.

"Exhausting." Was all you said as a response after a couple of minutes of silence, and Billie was quick to understand how you were feeling in the moment. You usually came home tired, but there were small things that you would do when you had a day that was a bit more intense than usual, and she could always pick up on those things. Everything about your body language in this particular moment told her everything she needed to know.

"Today must have been a lot, huh?" Billie asked you, although she already knew the answer. She moved her hands to around your shoulders, hugging you properly, while yours were now around her waist. Billie never minded embracing you for as long as you needed, and she even rubbed your back a little, the action further helping you relax.

"Yeah," you started, your voice quiet. "I just got so overwhelmed today and I couldn't get out of my own head and was feeling anxious the whole time and I just… wanted to be home and away from everybody." You spoke earnestly.

"I know, baby. I know. I'm so sorry today was rough." Billie said, sincerity in her tone. She pulled out of the hug, only so she could hold your face in her hands. She could see the tiredness in your eyes.

"Is there anything you need right now?" Billie asked. Whenever she could tell you were drained, she was always ready to provide you with anything you needed, be it food or a cuddle session on the couch; the simple gesture made you fall in love with her all over again. In this moment, though, there was only one thing on your mind.

"No, I don't need anything. Just you." You replied with a small, tired grin. Billie just nodded, returning the warm expression, leaning in to kiss you a couple more times.

"Okay, angel." She replied sweetly.

With that, you sat down on her little couch, as she sat back down in her swivel chair. She resumed working, and you immediately became transfixed, admiring the soothing sound of her voice and the beautiful snippets of music that she'd play from her speakers every now and then. There was nothing more calming to you than watching your girlfriend in her element, focused and working hard at her little desk.

Every now and then, she'd turn to glance at you, giving you a smile or blowing you a kiss, and every time a series of chuckles would escape you. If she ever had to get up to use the bathroom or grab a snack, she'd always give you a peck on the lips before leaving and she'd always ask you if you wanted her to grab anything while she was out. Her thoughtfulness only reminded you of why you chose to spend the rest of your life with her—you truly wouldn't have it any other way, especially on days like these.

In the comfort of her studio, you were away from the bustling, loud atmosphere that was your workplace. You didn't have to fake any more smiles or put on any carefully constructed masks. In Billie's presence, you could finally just be.

At some point, after many hours, Billie had found a stopping point, feeling satisfied with the progress that she had made. When she turned around in her seat to look at you, she noticed that you were lying down on the couch now, resting your head on a throw pillow, blinking slowly as you were adorably trying to fight sleep.

Billie immediately found herself walking over to you, kneeling down to be close to your face. She moved some hair out of your eyes, gazing at you fondly. You looked back at her, your eyes just barely cracked open.

"Hey, babygirl," Billie said, her voice just barely above a whisper. "Wanna go to the bed?"

After letting out a yawn, you nodded. "Mhmm." You replied sleepily, and Billie chuckled, kissing your cheek.

"Come on then, sleepyhead. I could use a nap myself."

You found yourself a bit reluctant to get off the couch, but you did eventually, grabbing onto Billie's hand and walking with her to your shared bedroom. The natural sunlight filling the room was enough, so she kept the lights off, and the two of you immediately crawled into bed atop the covers. You were still in your day clothes but you were far too worn out to give a damn. Billie definitely didn't care at all, happily pulling you in close.

Billie was behind you, taking the role of a big spoon, her arms wrapping around you comfortably.

The world knew Billie as a superstar; but in your modest little home, Billie to you was your everything, your safe haven, your future wife who'd you spend your last days on earth with.

"I love you so much." You suddenly heard Billie whisper. You smiled at the sound of her voice.

"I love you, too." You responded, melting into her.

(author's note pt. 2: need her to speak softly and gently to me irl so bad i'm crashing out 💔💔💔)

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish fic #billie eilish x you #billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish fluff #billie eilish fanfic #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x female reader #also just now realizing i have forgotten some ppl on the taglist i am so sorry!!! 🙏🏾 fully my mistake bc i am Stupid

345 notes · View notes

mcpostinghours · 2 months ago

Text

I'm gonna obey me post again, this time with what children's movies I think made the boys cry like men

Lucifer: Toy Story 2, when When She Loved Me comes on he's a goner, full sobbing. (Though this is kind of a cop-out since that scene does it to everyone, you are not immune to Jessie backstory time)

Mammon: The opening sequence to Up, he was so upset he almost didn't watch the rest of it. He just wanted Carl and Ellie to be happy damn it.

Leviathan: All of The Fox and the Hound. He just has a lot of feelings about friendship. Copper standing over Todd made him cry full manly tears.

Satan: All Dogs go to Heaven when Charlie gives up his chance to go to heaven and says goodbye. Something about a sinner being redeemed through love... (this one also gets Mammon)

Asmodeous: The ending to Shrek. He has a lot of body issues and seeing Fiona be loved and seen as beautiful even when she "wasn't beautiful" anymore made him feel a lot.

Beelzebub: I mean... All of The Little Mermaid. I feel like I don't need to elaborate further. It's both happy and sad tears though because he likes to think Lilith had a happy ending like Ariel

Belohagor: Believe it or not I think it's the funeral scene in Snow White. Especially when Grumpy starts crying. There's seven dwarves and seven of the brothers so it kind of makes him think of "what if that happened to mc?" And despite there literally being a dwarf named "sleepy" I think he sees more of him and how he felt about MC in Grumpy.

Diavolo: He's a sentimental guy, so I feel like there's a few that would get him. In particular though I think it would be when Mufasa dies in The Lion King. He has father issues... He also wants to pick up Simba and make him feel better.

Barbatos: See he's not a crier. Though I think what would get him the closest is Little Foot's mother dying in The Land Before Time. I know we don't know much about Diavolo's parents but it seems implied he lost his mom at a young age too, and Barbatos feels that ache too.

Luke: Luke IS actually baby, so there's a few. But like when Lilo is being taken away from Nani he's inconsolable the first time watching. It makes him think of being taken away from Simeon. Which he definitely fears post *spoilers*.

Simeon: Much like Satan a lot of All Dogs Go to Heaven gets to him. To give him an individual answer though... I feel like the reprise of Heaven's Light in Hunchback might get to him, and when Quasi is being tortured at the festival. Especially post *spoilers.*

Solomon: He acts like he's a big mean cynic, and for the most part it's kinda true. However (and this might be me projecting) he is not immune to muppets, and he's deeply lonely. Ergo I think that when Gonzo sings I'm Going to Go Back There Someday he's a goner. (Note: he also gets a little misty during the Rainbow Connection)(which is absolutely me projecting)

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me x reader #obey me solmare #lucifer obey me #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #satan obey me #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #There's too damn many of them

301 notes · View notes

kurokawaia · 1 year ago

Text

JEALOUSLY 彡 Jiang Cheng

| MDNI - 18+ | WARNINGS :: afab reader, she her pronouns, jealous feelings, NSFW, smut, PIV, PWP, rough sex, begging, breeding, praise, implied manhandling, possessiveness, implied size kink, reader is depicted to be shorter that him + probably more ONESHOT. total wc :: 3.4k+

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯:: (filled request) Hii! I read your fic with LWJ and oh my gosh I fell in love and cant wait for part 2 🤩I have some idea and I'd like to ask you very very nicely if you could write a fic with jiang cheng (fluff to smut if it's okay) when wwx returns and he finds out that JC is married and maybe reader is busy answering all the questions that wwx has and JC gets jealous? 🤭Thank you in advance and take care! <333 - ANON

m.list | mdzs/the untamed m.list

You stood at Lotus Pier's busiest entrance, awaiting Jiang Cheng's return, the autumn breeze playing with your hair. News had reached you, that Wei Wuxian had reappeared. And you couldn't help but feel bubbles of anxiety rising up in your chest. You've never seen Wei Wuxian before but knew he was Jiang Change brother, along with how he never really spoke about him.

When Jiang Cheng finally arrived, his eyes were darting around the crows and you let a soft giggle fall past your lips, finding it cute how he was instantly looking for you. Your lips fall into a soft smile as his gaze lands on you and watch the relief instantly cross his face as he finds you.

"A-Cheng," you called softly, stepping forward. "Glad to see you back."

Before he could muster a reply to you, his wife, your attention was stolen by Wei Wuxian as he darts around the crowd, trying to catch up to you and Jiang Cheng.

"Jiang Cheng!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed, his loud voice attracting the attention of everyone else in the courtyard. "It's been so long!"

There was a tense muscle in Jiang Cheng's jaw, but he returned the brief greeting. You watched as Wei Wuxian immediately peppered Jiang Cheng with questions, asking him everything that had happened over the years. You knew Jiang Cheng's temper did not hold much patience for Wei Wuxian's antics, especially after everything that you heard had happened...

"You must have so much to tell," you cut in, diverting Wei Wuxian's focus from Jiang Cheng. "Why don't we sit down and catch up?"

You pulled Wei Wuxian out, leaving Jiang Cheng by himself, and you didn't look back but you could feel his jaw drop, you had to push down the urge to laugh. He was defiently irritated. All the time as you answered Wei Wuxian's questions on you, and in particular on how you and Jiang Cheng are married, that it is of very recent development, you could not resist peeking at Jiang Cheng as he sat down next to you and you could see the slight pout on his face.

His arms are crossed, watching the two of you converse, his gaze would flick over to you occasionally and you could feel his irritation rise. Though, you have told him he needed to work on his anger issues, and he was actually doing pretty well, even though right now you didn't actually know what he was angry about.

Hours passed with stories and laughter until finally, Wei Wuxian seemed to run out of questions. "I should let you get back to your duties," he said, grinning as he gave you a playful nudge. "But we'll catch up again soon, right?"

"Definitely," you assured him and watched him walk back through the crowded streets.

The courtyard had emptied now, and Lotus Pier was settling into its nighttime calm, when Jiang Cheng found you standing at the edge of the water, looking out over the moonlit surface.

"It really seemed like you were enjoying your catching up," he said irritated, and you couldn't help but let out a hopeless smile at his jealousy.

"He had many questions," you said carefully, turning toward him. "I only wanted to make sure he felt welcomed."

Jiang Cheng's face slightly darkened. "You were busy," he grumbled back.

"I'm sorry if I neglected you," you said softly, drawing closer. "But you know Wei Wuxian, once he starts talking."

"He never stops," Jiang Cheng finished, his face twitching with annoyance. "It's like nothing's changed."

You hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Things have changed, Jiang Cheng," you said at last, meeting his gaze. "We've changed."

His face averted, jaw clenched. "Have we?"

You reached out to touch his arm. "Yes," you persisted, pressing on with a firm tone. "We have come a very long way since those days."

He didn't answer right away, but when he turned back to you, the tension did seem to relax a bit in his face. "I know," he agree. "It's just that."

"Just what?" you pressed on softly.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Seeing him again, it brings back memories," he finally admitted, almost whispering. "And seeing you with him."

You squeezed his arm reassuringly. "You don't need to be jealous, A-Cheng," he said softly. "Wei Wuxian just met, but you and I share something different."

"It doesn't matter," he replied, reaching out his hand to squeeze my cheeks. "You are my wife." He put an emphasis on the 'My', moving in closer to his touch, the warmth of his hand on your cheek. "And you are my husband."

He looks at you again with an expression that softens to relief tinged with possessiveness. "I don't want to lose you," he tells.

"You won't," you reassured him, reaching up to place your hand over his. "Wei Wuxian may have returned, but my heart belongs to you."

His eyes locked onto yours for a really long time while the moonlight gleamed off his. "Promise me," he whispered, and his thumb stroked your cheek lightly. "Promise me you'll be standing with me here forever."

"I promise," you whispered back. "I'll be here always, A-Cheng."

"You're mine," Jiang Cheng huffed before he yanked your face toward his and press his lips roughly against your own, staring for a second before you closed your eyes,.

His tongue slid inside your warm cavern, tangling with your tongue and causing a gasp to slip from your mouth against his. The noise was muffled by Jiang Cheng's mouth, and your hands shakily placed themselves on his chest, still in shock from the surprising action he did, in public, no less.

He wasn't usually this forward, but you weren't protesting, you loved the feeling that you received when Jiang Cheng kissed you.

Jiang Cheng's hand resting on the centre of your back trailed down, slipping around to your chest, where it was about to untie the sash that held your hanfu together. You pulled away hastily, a pout on your lips as Jiang Cheng looked down at you confused.

"What?" he scoffed.

"Not outside," you mumbled, head falling to his shoulder and he sighed, realizing.

He only wanted you to the extent of proving to everyone that you were his and his alone. So that Wei Wuxian would finally leave you alone.

A gasp left you at the lips when Jiang Cheng picked you up, seamlessly making your figure appear minute in contrast to his own as he carried you to your shared room and placed you with slight haste onto the bed.

Jiang Cheng undresses his robes, revealing a body, bared, yet meant only for your eyes. You watch the muscles on his back ripple slightly as he unties the knot in his hair, black stands falling down his back before he makes his way over to you.

Straddling your hips, he began slowly undoing the sashes and ties to your hanfu. You let out a sigh at the pace that your lover was going at. Small hands hold the wrists of Jiang Chengs and he quirks a brow.

"A-Cheng, p-please," you breath out, face flushed and embarrassed. ".please b-be faster."

"Alright," Jiang Cheng hummed, untying your Hanfu at a faster rate.

He made room on top of you, tousling tongues again as he slipped your soaked panties down your smooth legs. Jiang Cheng's long fingers slide down your slicked folds and burrow past them, a mewl eliciting from your mouth.

Your arms tighten around his back and neck as his fingers press against your throbbing clit, and you are washed with pleasure, breathless and craving more. A moan leaves your parted lips as your back arches into his touch.

Your eyes were screwed shut, but Cheng studied every minuscule movement and reaction your body made as his fingers toyed with your puffy clit, getting slicked by your arousal. Your legs squeeze around his hips, moans stringing out your mouth before you felt his digits slid to your seeping hole.

In less than an instant, the two fingers slipped inside your gummy soaked walls, causing your eyes to snap open. "Feel good?" Jiang Cheng questioned. You could only nod frantically.

"So good," you whimpered as he slowly pumped in and out your spongy walls. "I–It feels so good, A-Cheng."

"Yeah? And who's making you feel this good?" He asked, and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

"Y - You're makin' me feel s' good, A-Cheng," you whimper. "So good

It's too intense, the perfect combination of pleasure and pressure that you can't contain from being blasted by your voice and into his shoulder. You press your lips to his shoulder, muffling the sounds that come out from the depths of you. His fingers plunged into you, and the heat moved throughout your system, tormenting every thought within you. Each little movement, each curve, sent electric shocks of pleasure radiating through your body.

Jiang Cheng's fingers are slick as you surrender to the intoxicating rhythm of his touches. The combination between the fingertips of a master and the strength of the connection has you pressed ever closer to the edge, teetering on the precipice of release. Time stood still, a second of pure bliss, as you are consumed by wonderful pleasure coursing through your system.

His fingers did not stop their rhythm and went on pumping in and out of your getting-leak hole. There was a foreign tension developing inside your lower stomach, the pleasure tightened inside your stomach.

You shakily wrap your legs around his, your body quivering in anticipation of each and every one of his moves, responding to his every touch. Chant's of his name were leaving your mouth, voice filled with desire and need while comfort words left his mouth to stabilize you.

Tears welled in your eyes wanting to desperately release the coil that was growing in your stomach.

"A-Cheng, please," you sob out, wanting that euphoric tension to empty into your body.

But he complies, pressing the pad of his thumb into your clit with a soft groan, yet another layer of pleasure to stack onto what already was. It's pure electricity. You let my back arch in response. "Beg for it," Jiang Cheng hummed against your skin.

"Please, A-Cheng," I sob. "I need to. So good. Making me feel so good."

"More," he said, teeth digging into my neck, my head thrown back against the pillow.

"Please, please, please," you whimper. "I need it, A-Cheng," you mewl. "Please, I need it," you mumbled out and Jiang Cheng lifts his head from your neck, admiring the trails of splotches of red.

Jiang Cheng cupped your chin with his free hand, angling your face toward him with eyes staring intently into your own. "Louder," he hummed, leaning in, wanting to hear the words simply spill from those plumped, pretty lips.

Your eyes screw shut as you continued on, desperate for the release you so desperately needed. "Please, please."

"Look at me when you beg for me," he barked, his eyes working, trying to see you fall apart underneath him.

Your his, no one elses.

Eyes snapped open at his command, wanting to release badly. "I want it, please, I want you so bad, only you, please," you whimper and you saw his eyes flicker in approval causing a swell of happiness to surge through your body.

"That's it," he reassured, allowing you to release, intertwining your mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

The pleasure rises, the tension building with every second that passes until you teeter on the edge of release. It's a pure moment of surrender, where the pleasure is supreme and you are overtaken by the overwhelming ecstasy that floods over you.

Waves of ecstasy hit you, leaving your legs trembling and weak, unable to stand even for the greatest sensation. He slips his fingers from your drenched hole, and you continue trembling from the aftertaste of the orgasm.

A mewl leaves your mouth at the sensation of his fingers leaving your soaked cunt. Jiang Cheng pressed his lips against yours, not as rough as before but still with the same impression, and you moan into the kiss.

"I want more," you whimper out through his tongue entangled with yours.

"Yeah?" Jiang Cheng hums against your lips and you nod.

"God, I need you, so bad," you add. "A-Cheng, please, can't leave me like this."

Jiang Cheng filled you around, your stomach pressed against the bed while his abs were flush against your back. His hands moved to grip behind your small ones, rendering your ability to squirm out of Jiang Cheng's hold.

Jiang Cheng's breath sent shivers down your ear, and you wiggled your head at the warm sensation. Now, your core was getting wetter; your body was trying to squirm away from the imposing hold he had on you.

Jiang Cheng slid his hands in this subtle push-and-pull motion, changing his hold so one of his hands can grip both of yours above your head and careful not to get your hair caught in-between the movements. You let out a content sigh as Cheng rose his body just a little, trailing his free hand down the expanse of your smooth back before his fingers meet your slick entrance.

"Sodden," he murmurs against your ear, and then takes a bite of the collagen, and you gasp at the unexpected move.

Then, you felt a heavy, pulsing head press against your clit, and you moaned from the contact. You tried to squirm away from the cause of pleasure, only to be unable to do so, for Jiang Cheng knew your body better than you did yourself, he knew you were going to try to run from his body due to the pleasure. So, he pressed his weight on you once more.

You held your breath as Jiang Cheng sank his flesh into your spongey walls, the ridges squeezing his length with every thrust into your soaked cunt. A moan left both of your mouths as Jiang Cheng's length nudged the deepest spot within you.

"'Look how you take me in,' he grunts. 'Such a good little slut.' You sigh in pleasure at degrading praise, the way he knew you enjoyed being worshiped in an abasement. He savored his words, words that hit so deep, and in a way, he never wanted to call you anything else.".

But he didn't move, he wanted to savor how you wanted to cause friction, desired to move against his touch, but couldn't. Jiang Cheng's cock prodded so deep in your gummy walls that you whimpered in pleasure, but that didn't stop him from not moving. He was still snug inside.

Those hot, tender kisses made their way from your ear down to that dip of your neck to your shoulder right as, with an exhale that breathlessly kills you, Jiang Cheng rolled his hips into yours. A moan slipped out from your mouth, his thick length scraping over all the sensitive spots of your heated insides.

Jiang Cheng splay your legs apart with his knees, so any inclinations from you are ensured to be suppressed with his efforts to keep you still. Underneath him, your beautiful body paled in comparison to his colossal frame. He hoped that you would not budge from his ensnared arms. And true enough, he had his way.

He speeded up further in his own movements, his cock thrusting deep in your needy hole, strained moans and whining leaving your throat. Jiang Cheng could be heard panting in your ear, letting out the occasional deep groan with the sounds that made your cunt flutter tightly around his length.

Jiang Cheng was filling you up to the hilt, his throbbing pink tip knocking against that soft, gummy spot inside my cunt, and I felt I could fly over the edge, scream out in fulfilment. "Found it," he breathed into you, making you let out a moaned sigh, shaking against him with the pleasure. "Found it, hm?" Jiang Cheng smirks. "Am I making you feel so good, huh?"

Your body tried to arch away from the pleasure, not being able to take the strong rolls of his hips, but as you arched back away, his thrusts only aimed deeper, harder into your G spot. "Y-yeah," you sobbed out, tears filling your lash line. "B-but. Too much. Slow down, too much."

His hips picking up in pace now, loving how your cunt squeezed his cock even though you wanted him to slow down, how contradicting he thought your words were, you were denying your body the release that you so desperately needed. "Your taking me so well though," Jiang Cheng added. "You can take it, your so close."

Repetitive moans left your mouth while he pounded into your tight heat. You had the sudden instinct to press yourself into his length, but you couldn't; his weight was too heavy for you to move against him. You were utterly hopeless as his thrusts became faster.

"I-I wanna come," you cry out mewling. "So big, you feel so big, A-Cheng."

Your body trembled beneath him and the hold he had on your hands loosened, your hips getting held, then, the strength he possessed lifting you onto your knees before a bicep wrapped around your throat, lifting your head. It wasn't a tight grip but the power lifted your head from the futon while you shakily rested your weight on your elbows.

Your back arched heavily, finally being able to sink more into him. Jiang Cheng hunched over you, pulling you closer to him and connected your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, grunting into you while he swallowed your moans. "Taking me so deep, making me feel so good, making you feel so good, aren't I?" Jiang Cheng moaned, drawing back from your mouth and pushing the arch into your back deeper.

He watched your ass ripple again against his lower abdomen, watching your pussy with grey eyes'. Watching how your walks sucked him in, leaving a creamy white rind of arousal around the base of his cock. "Making you feel so good, aren't I?" Jiang Cheng groaned with his head tilted forward, sweat beading on his forehead as he watched you fall apart and tremble from his dick, with broken moans slipping past your plump lips.

A satisfied smirk came onto Jiang Cheng's face as he watched those tears that welled in your fluffy lash line spill down your smooth cheeks. "Look how good you are taking me," groaned Jiang Cheng. "So good. Love you so much."

"'Wanna come, please," you beg, wanting to feel the release, desperate as the tears stream down your flushed cheeks. "Want it so bad. 'M love you too!"

You clench around his length as he picks up his pace. Instantly accommodating the speed, your moans escalate. Chasing with a deep moan, he mumbled in my ear while he leaned down, and my insides stirred, clenching around his length. "How much you need me?" rasps Jiang Cheng in your ear.

"Want you bad!" you whimper, being unable to grasp any thoughts that swelled into your head. "You make me feel so good!"

"Say it again, wanna hear it," Jiang Cheng grunts his teeth grinding together.

You moan out, your body trembling. "You make me feel so good, Cheng, want you so much," you hiccup out as the coil in your stomach tightened while his heavy balls slapped against your swollen clit.

"Nnggh, that's it," Jiang Cheng groans back, not allowing you to say anything towards the end, wantonly ready to fill your cunt up with his seed.

"Please, I wanna come," you moan. "Want you to make me come."

"That's it," he groaned, and you spasmed around his length, as your high washed over you, your legs shaking, as his weight pressed down even more than it already was. He didn't slow his thrusts, a fact rather evident, as I let out whimper after whimper of overstimulation, but Jiang Cheng continued to help it, his hips rutting into mine, helping me ride out my orgasm as he chased his own.

With a groan he was back, lips planted against mine once again as his hips slammed into mine, hard, cumming, spilling inside me which caused me to moan into his kiss. Jiang Cheng slipped his softening length out, and pulled away from the kiss as you slumped to the futon, his eyes chained to the white splotches of silky come that spilled from your gaping cunt before fingering the liquid back into your cunt.

The grip of Jiang Cheng's hands on your hips tightened a bit as he gracefully rolled you to lie on your back and pulled back far enough so you could see the intensity in his eyes as he dipped down, taking your lips in a chaste but at the same time almost possessive kiss. The world faded away. There was just you two in that shared moment of intimacy.

And when the kiss finally ended, his forehead rested against yours. "You are mine," he murmured. "Mine and nobody else's."

Your heart swelled with the words he uttered, causing a warmth in your chest as you nodded. "Yes, A-Cheng," you replied softly. "I'm yours and yours only."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

#mdzs x reader #mdzs smut #x fem! reader #afab reader #jiang cheng x reader #jiang cheng smut #jiang cheng x fem! reader #jiang cheng x fem! reader smut #the untamed x reader #the untamed smut

397 notes · View notes

hwaslayer · 1 year ago

Text

love you in slow motion (psh) | five.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, thewarmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 9k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, implied sexual content, lots of overthinking, crying, mentions of death and death anniversary, friends & family being like ?? 😭, flashbacks, mentions of alcohol consumption, unprotected sex — sorry if i missed anything & if it’s all over the place! i tried to edit as much as i can while im away!! but enjoy & ty for being patient with me 🫶🏼 if you need something different, here is part one of yeosang’s fic!

Seonghwa doesn't remember when exactly he fell in love with you.

It might've been when you watched all of his football games growing up.

It might've been when you beat up that one kid because he wouldn't stop bothering Hwa for the answers to the homework and called him out of his name unnecessarily.

It might've been when you'd come to his house and sneak through the back door just so you could lie down on his bedroom floor and listen to new music together until you fell asleep.

It might've been when you first got your license and drove him to the hospital and stayed by his side when his fever didn't go down.

It might've been the trip to Hanoi with his family.

Or, it might've been when you sat with him during his first day in 3rd grade at your school, even though he was a child and didn't really know what love meant. He was surrounded by it, and so he was familiar with it. You gave him the same vibes. It must've been, right?

Of course, he had been in relationships. Those relationships did make him feel like maybe, those feelings for you were a fleeting moment; something that would pass, especially since things hadn't changed between you two. He wasn't gonna force it. He might've believed at some point that it was probably all a lie, that he wasn't meant to be with you in the end.

An idea that was way too good to be true.

But, then those relationships would end and he'd be back to square one. And he'd sit there and reflect on everything, revisiting the idea if he was saved for someone else [you]. Truth be told, he did love his exes. They'll always have a special place in his heart. But along their journey, he always felt like this wasn't his end goal— that this instead was the fleeting moment, that particular something that would pass.

In the end, it was always gonna be you.

"So, what happened with Makayla?" Wooyoung asks as he cleans his table and starts unpacking some new supplies that had just been delivered.

"Nothing." Seonghwa shrugs. "Y/N came that morning, ran off, then Makayla kinda knew. I feel so fucked up about it cause she's so nice and understanding."

♡ FLASHBACK

Seonghwa smiles when Makayla steps into his car, her sweet perfume immediately filling the air. Earlier in the week, he had asked Makayla if she wanted to go to a casual dinner and she instantly replied saying she'd love to. It put a smile on Seonghwa's face, which felt nice after the gloomy and upsetting days he'd been having.

He takes her to a casual ramen restaurant in town; it's small, cozy and intimate. They sit at the bar next to each other, taking the time to get to know each other over some hot, comforting bowls of ramen. He finds that Makayla enjoys a lot of similar things; she's outgoing, likes to go on adventures and explore new places, try new foods, would always be down to try something thrilling like skydiving or zip-lining in a tropical place.

Shit like that.

Seonghwa isn't as adventurous but he'd be down, and he likes that about her. On top of that, she's really sweet and laid back. Seonghwa doesn't feel like he has to try and paint this certain image to impress her. He doesn't; he can be himself for the most part, despite the fact that he's still having to try and keep it cool since it's the first time they're hanging out. Even when they finish their ramen, they sit there for another 30 minutes or so just chatting it up— learning more about likes and dislikes, past relationships, you, even.

"Yeah, so there's me, San, Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Y/N. I met San, Wooyoung and Hongjoong in college, and Y/N—" He pauses a bit as he twirls the straw in his cup. "She's been my bestfriend since the third grade."

"That's sweet. So, you guys are all close and everything? Y/N probably knows you the best, hm?" Makayla chuckles.

"Yeah, she does. I guess. We've been through a lot together." Seonghwa looks at her and nods. Makayla isn't one to press more, but she can tell there's a little more to you and what you mean to Seonghwa. Of course, he's not gonna divulge now. Makayla doesn't expect him to. But there's a pause, a silence that falls between them that says there's more to it than he's letting up.

She'll let it be, though. She can tell you are special to Seonghwa.

"That's nice, though. To have someone by your side after all these years. You two are still going strong. I feel like a lot of friendships crumble, or people just get distant because we grow and become different people over time."

"Mmyeah. I think we are. We're just.." Seonghwa shakes her head. "Yeah, nevermind. We're just in our fighting phase but it's not anything we haven't experienced before." He lies to skip out on details. He's torn between telling Makayla the messy ass truth or keeping it on the low— cause honestly, this was a harmless dinner. Seonghwa didn't expect anything out of this.

Maybe he should've just been honest from the beginning but his head is fucking everywhere right now, and he doesn't wanna think about it.

"I see. I hope things get better."

"Yeah, same." Seonghwa lets out a pathetic chuckle before sipping the last bit of his water and standing. "Anyway, ready to get out of here?"

"Sure. Thanks for dinner." He smiles and takes her hand to lead her out of the restaurant.

"Course. Thanks for joining me." It's a bit of a chilly night tonight, Seonghwa and Makayla can see their breath in the air as they walk back to the car together. Seonghwa truthfully is having a good time with her and he doesn't necessarily wanna part ways so soon. He might take this as a distraction, he might use this as a way to get even closer and have something to build off of— he couldn't really tell you what exactly goes through his head at this next moment. He can't lie that it is a good distraction from the bullshit he's been dealing with, and although he doesn't mean to compare Makayla to you, he can't help but say she's been making him feel way better about himself than you lately.

He hates that it even has to come down to this because at the end of the day, life clearly still revolves around you.

Seonghwa tugs the passenger door open and lets her get settled before he hops into the driver's seat. He tugs on his jacket a bit before starting the car and turning up the heat, pulling out his phone to quickly see if there's any notifications he needs to tend to from the boys [you].

"Any plans for the rest of the night?" She shakes her head.

"Nope, none at all. What about you?"

"None. Should we find something else to do then?"

"I'm down!"

"Anything specific come to mind or.. we can hang out at my spot, if you want? No pressure. I can take you home, too. It's whatever you wanna do." Seonghwa looks at her from the driver's seat.

"No, we can go to your place. I'm fine with that."

"You sure?"

"Mhm." She smiles, giving Seonghwa the green light to start up the car and drive back to his apartment.

When they get back to his place, he grabs a bottle of wine and little snacks before popping on a thriller movie she suggests. He plans to keep it chill for the evening. He doesn't plan for anything specific to happen, he doesn't plan for the night to go a certain way. He lets it be; even when Makayla scoots next to him and cuddles up under his arm. Even when his fingers seem to be tracing circles on her arm, even when he suddenly feels the urge to kiss her.

To feel something.

And so one kiss eventually turns into another, and another deep kiss. Then, it eventually turns into Seonghwa tearing off her clothes and vice versa as they rush to his room and get in his sheets. He quickly rolls on a condom and gets her laid out underneath him. He enjoys this, yes— he's not gonna lie. He's a man and he's got needs, that's why he's indulging in every second of this. He fucks her good, deep into the mattress. Makayla's moaning his name and digging her nails deep into his shoulders, whining right into his ear and begging for more of him.

It's an ego boost, and it's making him feel ten times better about himself.

He makes her cum twice that night, from missionary and from behind. He hopes his neighbors don't complain about the noise— headboard lowkey banging into the wall with his name being called out like a mantra.

He has a good fucking time, though. He doesn't kick her out. He lets her stay the night, handing her a shirt to sleep in to feel more comfortable. He holds her and falls asleep quickly, the morning coming not too long after they had fallen asleep together.

Seonghwa planned to sleep in a 'lil bit that morning since he wasn't needed at work until 10am. In his head, he had planned to wake up at his own liking, prep a small breakfast for him and Makayla before offering to take her home on the way to work.

But, his plan is completely ruined when he hears a loud knock on the front door that also startles Makayla awake.

"Are you expecting someone?" Seonghwa's brow turns up as he ponders for a bit. He isn't expecting any packages and he doesn't remember putting in any maintenance requests. So.. no?

"No." He gets up, but Makayla does too and he feels a bit bad her sleep was ruined. "You don't have to get up, you can stay in bed if you'd like."

"No, it's okay. I should probably get up and get ready." He gives her a small smile before walking out, throwing on a white tank top to cover his indecency and tidying up a bit for whoever the hell is on the other side of the door. Who he expected, he wasn't sure. But he sure as hell wasn't expecting it to be you on the other side this early in the morning.

He swings the door open and he's not sure what to say or do, and it doesn't help that Makayla is brushing past behind him in his shirt to gather some of her things.

"Oh." Is all you say, and Seonghwa feels his heart break to a million pieces when he sees the look on your face. You're trying your hardest not to show how much it hurts you, but he knows you. He knows you well, that's for damn sure.

"Y/N—"

"It's good, I didn't meant to interrupt, I'm sorry— I'll catch you later."

♡ END

"I mean, it's not like you were expecting Y/N to come on that morning. Plus, you didn't necessarily lie or do anything behind anyone's back. You tried." Wooyoung feels a little silly knowing he knew about your plan, but he definitely didn't know Makayla spent the night until now. He took a 'harmless dinner' for what it really was; not Seonghwa taking her back home for good times and good vibes in the sheets. Or else, he probably would've prevented you from going on that morning and lied about Hwa's shift time to keep everything as smooth as possible. But, it doesn't make any sense when Wooyoung really thinks about it. Because even if he did tell you Hwa had an early shift and that it'd be better to see him later, would that help fix anything? Which exactly is the lesser evil?

For Wooyoung, he thinks it just had to unfold the way it did, unfortunately.

"Mm. Yeah." Is all Seonghwa says before finishing up wrapping some KT tape on his client. "Makayla was cool, though."

"Took her out and took her home, ey." His client chimes in, making Seonghwa shake his head.

"Thought I'd move on." Seonghwa shrugs.

"Clearly not." Wooyoung snorts, tossing in some fun to brighten the mood. "No, but, honestly. I think it had to happen this way? Instead of it getting too deep with Makayla and Y/N comes back around? Less mess."

"Less mess is always nice." His client chimes in again. "So, what are you gonna do? Does Tyson know about the whole thing with his cousin?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. He hasn't mentioned anything. If he asked, I'd be honest about it." Seonghwa shrugs. He wasn't entirely hiding anything and he likes to think he tried to go about this as normally as possible. It wasn't like he was out to intentionally hurt Makayla. He could never. He just didn't expect things to play out the way that it did, and he could never lie either.

"Well. What're you gonna do now?"

"Somehow talk to Y/N."

"You haven't heard from her since then, huh? Well, I guess since the club." Wooyoung corrects himself.

"Nope. I have not." Seonghwa's bottom lip pokes out into a pout before patting his client on the shoulder to signal that he was finished with the KT tape.

"Damn, Hwa." Is all his client says before walking out of the room, making both Seonghwa and Wooyoung chuckle.

"I really wanted her to take the lead on this one."

"Technically, she did. It just happened to be at the wrong time." Wooyoung shrugs. "Give her a little bit of time before you reach out again. She probably feels really defeated after that. And don't get me wrong, I love you both and the situation is unfair for both ends. But I think right now you two just need the space."

"Yeah. I'm not gonna force anything right now. I just hope she's able to talk to me before jumping to more conclusions."

"Mhm."

"Have you been able to talk to her recently?" Seonghwa fully turns to Wooyoung.

"Yeah, but she's not really saying anything about it. I think Sannie—"

"Sannie.. what?"

"She called Sannie after the whole thing and cried to him about it."

"Oh." His heart breaks hearing that you've cried over him yet again. Maybe Wooyoung was right— maybe you both needed this space after all.

♡ FLASHBACK

"San? Sannie?" You repeatedly call his name over the phone and San is confused. He has just woken up, but he's immediately alert when he hears you crying, your voice trembling on the other line.

"Hey Y/N?" He says in a questioning tone as he sits up in bed and rubs at his eyes. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I'm so fucking stupid." You quickly start your car and reverse out of the spot to drive off.

"Don't say that, what's going on? Talk to me."

"I just tried to talk to Seonghwa about everything. I was gonna tell him everything, I was gonna be honest. Sannie, I was gonna be honest—"

"Slow down, where are you?"

"I'm going home." You cry and San starts to get up and get ready.

"I'll meet you there and we can talk more, okay? Just please get home safely and I'll be there." You nod even though San can't see you, trying as best as possible to race home in a safe manner. All you wanna do is crawl into bed and cry everything out so you can put on a brave face for work later.

When you get home, you immediately toss your pajamas back on and curl up on the couch. You put on a random movie for background noise, picking up your phone to see the missed calls and texts from Seonghwa.

[seonghwa]: y/n where are you?

[seonghwa]: can we talk, please?

[seonghwa]: just text me back or call me.

[seonghwa]: y/n please talk to me.

You let out a sigh and set the phone aside, not knowing how to respond to him right now. Your thoughts are all over the place, and you're regretting everything that's happened between you and Seonghwa recently. You were too late and this was the price of your actions, reactions, everything.

This is exactly what you were afraid of— losing Seonghwa, even as your bestfriend, for good. Because now, things seem irreparable. Your relationship won't feel the same and it's truly awful.

"It's me, San." You suddenly hear at the door before he lightly jiggles the doorknob. "I'm coming in, okay?" You don't say anything and he proceeds, eyes instantly landing on your form on the couch. "What happened?" San positions himself on the middle of the couch, looking down at you with sympathy. He really does hate seeing you cry— he's hated it since he's known you and grown close to you.

"It's too late. I'm too late. I'm so stupid." You cry, explaining to San about how you finally gained the courage to talk to Seonghwa. You tell San you woke up early and tried to put yourself in a good mindset in order to work through things properly. You tell him about how you got yourself there, ran up the steps and knocked on his door without turning back. You explain the look on Hwa's face, you explain how surprised he was to see you.

You explain how you ran off when you saw her in his shirt.

You explain how your heart dropped, you explain how awful the feeling was hearing him call after you, seeing his texts and missed calls.

"But, he was calling after you. He wants to talk to you Y/N."

"No. I ruined it. He's probably just gonna explain how he needed to move on and tell me shit that's gonna hurt like hell."

"Why don't you hear him out, hm? It could be entirely different, and he might wanna work this out with you."

"We kissed at the club. So after all of this— the kiss, the argument after the fight with Mingi, today—I don't think Seonghwa and I will ever be the same again. I fucked it up." You ramble on and San's slightly having a hard time keeping up cause he's stuck on the fact that you just told him you and Hwa kissed. It's not like he's entirely surprised, it just makes sense as to why things feel too fucking complicated.

He sees why now. But truthfully, as both your friend and Seonghwa's, it's not his place to say anything. The best advice he has is to just let it play out how it should. You'll get your time to talk to Seonghwa. Whatever unfolds from there is what will unfold.

"Hey, don't say that. Please don't." San says softly. "I know everything feels messed up and all over the place right now, but I know Seonghwa wants to fix things just as badly as you do. You're his bestfriend before anything, he'll never let that happen."

"I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you give yourself more time and space? Talk to Seonghwa when you've had a chance to clear your head and gather your thoughts properly." He gently rubs at your back. "This is the best thing you can do for yourself right now. For you and him, maybe." You dig your head into the pillow and release a sigh, almost finding the need to scream at how frustrating everything is.

But, he's right.

Time.

♡ END

"Heard you two kissed at the club." Wooyoung teases Seonghwa, causing him to toss a roll of gauze at his head.

"Shut up."

"Ow, what? It's cute!" Seonghwa glares at him before letting out a sigh.

"It just seems like everything's against us right now." Seonghwa laughs a bit, but deep down, he isn't sure how he feels. He's sad. He's heartbroken. He's not sure if he wanted the kiss to happen purely because of what you two are now. Because even though he knows it's not the only problem, it is probably the biggest.

"Give it time, yeah? You two will talk it out when things settle and it'll get better no matter what that looks like. I know you mean a lot to Y/N, and she wouldn't just drop 16 years of friendship over a silly little squabble."

"Mm." Seonghwa hums.

"Have you talked to Makayla since then?"

"Yeah, and she still wants to be friends. There weren't any expectations so.." Seonghwa shrugs. "At least she doesn't fucking hate me even though I deserve it"

"Dude, again. You weren't intentionally trying to hurt her. It's just a complicated situation."

"Yeah. Anyway. You're coming to my dad's thing right?"

"Of course, the fuck?" Wooyoung laughs. "This weekend, right?"

"Yup."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"I wonder if Y/N is still coming."

"She will." Wooyoung gives him a small smile. "I know she will."

The weekend comes quick and Seonghwa is hauling ass from the wee early morning hours to get ready for his dad's retirement party. He's helping fix up the house and the backyard before running to the store to grab more things his mom needs. Though he's not trippin' about being tasked with errands alone, he'd usually have you tag along for company and extra hands. He feels it a lot today, and it's killing him how he can't even do this with you.

He doesn't even know if you're coming, or if you remembered, even if Wooyoung reassured him.

"You're done?" Seonghwa's mom asks, peering over his shoulders as he hauls in grocery bags and a cake.

"Yeup. Why? Don't tell me you need more, ma. I told you—" She playfully pinches him on the arm and furrows his brows while he lets out a low 'ow.'

"Told me what, hm? That's all! I'm not adding to the list! Where's Y/N?"

"What do you even mean?" She crosses her arms.

"You normally do these things with her. Where is she? Is she okay?" He shrugs.

"Sorry, she's busy." She eyes him, taking note of the way he shrinks and avoids eye contact. "Where do you want me to put the groceries and cake? Fridge for now?"

"Mhm. Thank you."

"Where's dad?"

"Showering and getting ready for his special day."

"I probably should do that, too.”

"Y/N is coming, right?"

"Mom, yes." He says in a slightly exasperated tone because he doesn't know the real truth. He honestly just wants to stop talking about you for a second. Just one second. "I'm gonna get ready." He walks off to get ready, sorting through his duffle bag of clothes that he brought over.

His mom likes to tease him, even though deep down, she gets sad when you two fight. It's not even just the fact that you welcomed him so warmly when he was the new kid in town, it was the fact that she has never seen Seonghwa connect with someone so well. You've always pulled the best out of him, and you were always there to make him laugh, to make him happy. Despite all the troubles you've endured, you've always treated them with respect and you've always shown love even if your own life felt like it was lacking of such. This didn't feel like any other fight she's witnessed between you two— call it mother's instinct, but she knew there was way more to it than Seonghwa wants to let on. She just hopes that whatever it is, you two can pull through. She knows you both are stronger than that.

When Seonghwa gets showered and throws on some better clothes fit for the occasion, he helps his mom and dad get the house clean and tidy for the party. His dad had officially retired, and Seonghwa was happy he could finally rest. Enjoy the things he loved doing. Spend more time with his mom. He helps put up the decorations around the house, fixing up the backyard and getting the grill ready for the food. Wooyoung, Hongjoong and San are one of the first to arrive, along with his relatives. They immediately start drinking and enjoying themselves, playing music and grilling meat to start kicking things off as more people trickle in.

Wooyoung briefly offers to take over the grill while Seonghwa heads into the kitchen to pull out more of the fruits and non-alcoholic drinks for his cousins and relatives that don't drink. He's busy setting things aside when his mom's loud scream startles him, his eyes immediately diverting to the source near the front door.

"Y/N's here with Yaya, Soyeon and Charli!" Seonghwa's mom lets out an excited yell when she sees her favorites walk through the door, throwing her arms around you for a big hug. Seonghwa turns from the kitchen, watching as you greet his family members that immediately swarm you at the entry. You happily greet his dad near the living room, giving him a big hug and congratulations for his retirement. It's the first time he'd be speaking to you after everything, let alone seeing you. He tenses up a bit, but he doesn't ignore the excitement he feels seeing your face, your smile. You're in a white denim maxi skirt and a black off-the-shoulder top, and Seonghwa can't help but stare.

"Hey!" Soyeon playfully punches him on the bicep and pulls him out of his thoughts, with Chacha screaming at the top of her lungs right next to her mom. "Chacha, jeez." Yaya laughs when she hugs him first.

"She sure loves her Uncle Hwa."

"Uncle Hwa!" She continues to scream, making Seonghwa laugh and swoop her into his arms. He gives Soyeon a one-armed hug before placing a kiss on Charli's temple.

"Chacha!" He matches her excitement. "Missed you, pea." He turns to Soyeon. "Junseo's at the restaurant?" She nods.

"Yep! Holding it down like always." She laughs. "He wanted to be here, though." She turns to Charli. "Baby, let's go eat first? You can play with Uncle Hwa after." Charli whines but doesn't fight it, making Hwa promise time after time that he'll play with her after she finishes her food. He does, anyway. He'll do anything to keep that smile on her face.

At this time, you finally make your way to the kitchen and Seonghwa isn't sure how to act. You give him a tiny, toothless smile before throwing one arm around him, clearly avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

"Hey." Seonghwa says, hugging you back. "You drove with Soyeon and Yaya?"

"Mhm."

"Should've told me so I could've picked you guys up."

"It's okay, Hwa." You give him another reassuring smile before grabbing a cup to fill up with some of the fruit juice his mom made. "Is everyone else here?"

"Yeah. Outside in the backyard. Food is out there, too."

"Thanks." You say, sipping your cup before walking out to the backyard. Seonghwa lowly groans to himself when he realizes he's being dumb, maybe slightly afraid, to talk about everything that's been happening.

Maybe it isn't the right time, either. But, he hates being this way with you. It feels terrible, and he wants nothing more than to just be okay with you.

"Are you and Y/N okay?"

"Ma, we're fine. I promise."

"Park Seonghwa if I find out that you've done something to her—"

"I didn't do anything!" He almost squeaks when he responds. "What about me, mom? How about 'are you okay, Seonghwa?'"

"I ask you all the time and you always give me the same answer!" She responds in a higher tone, but Seonghwa knows she's teasing just to push his buttons. "You never want me in your business anyway!"

"Whatever." He sighs and shakes his head, walking out to the backyard to hang out with everyone. Everyone old enough to drink [and isn't driving] raises their cups high for a big toast before knocking some soju back. Seonghwa catches up by taking the shot Wooyoung hands him to the neck, making a face at the bitter brand of soju they've decided on.

You've parked yourself in between Hongjoong and San, with Yaya, Soyeon and Charli sitting nearby as they eat their food. You have a plate in hand while you laugh along with San, Hongjoong and Wooyoung poking fun and making faces at Charli nearby. Seonghwa plops onto the empty bench space next to San, sipping on his drink while watching his cousins play in front of everyone. San sees you shift in your position a bit, now paying more attention to Charli, Wooyoung and Hongjoong, while Seonghwa continues to quietly sip on his drink. San isn't gonna lie— he feels a bit awkward since the tension is coming from both ways. But, he brushes it off anyway; trying to keep everything as normal as possible to keep the party running on a smooth note.

"Uncle Hwa." Charli comes in front of him with a huge smile on her face.

"Yes?" He gives her the same smirk, setting his cup down onto the table. "Finished eating?"

"Ya. But, mommy says I can't play yet."

"30 minutes!" Soyeon yells from her seat.

"She's right. You need to let your food settle." He pokes at her tummy and pulls her onto his lap. "Here." He hands her his phone to play on.

"Uncle Hwa." She calls for him again as she watches him pull up her favorite game.

"Mhm?" She puts up her tiny hands near his ear to whisper something so incredibly confidential:

"Are you and Titi Y/N fighting?" He chuckles.

"A bit, but we'll be okay."

"Why?" She pouts at him.

"Just grown up things, Chacha. We'll be okay." He repeats.

"You promise?" She's still whispering and Seonghwa's heart melts when she puts up her pinky for a pinky-promise. "Titi Y/N loves you. Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." He wraps his pinky around hers. "Promise, okay? Here." He passes her his phone once the game loads.

"Uncle Hwa, I wanna play with your legos." She plays Mario Kart Tour furiously on his phone.

"Which one do you wanna play with?"

"Any." Seonghwa laughs and nods, carrying her as he stands to grab his legos from his stash in his old room.

"Let's go find one, hm?" You watch as Seonghwa carries Charli with ease into the house, remembering the night you two spent with Charli a few weeks ago. Feels pretty distant, and it hits you how sad your situation with Seonghwa is right now. You quickly shake off your thoughts and stand from your seat to throw your trash away and grab another drink, grabbing more trash from the group when they see you making your way inside. You toss the paper plates away, engaging in small talk with Seonghwa's cousins as they pass in and out of the house. You pour yourself another cup, getting slightly startled by Charli zooming out of the house screaming in pure happiness while holding one of Hwa's small lego sets.

"That girl talks in screams." You mutter to yourself. "Oh shit." You look at the small spill to the side of your cup, letting out a sigh when you reach over for a napkin—

"Here." Seonghwa cocks a brow up when he hands you a napkin. "Can always count on you to make a mess, I guess." You roll your eyes at his sarcasm and snatch the napkin out of his hand to wipe up the spill.

"Thanks." Seonghwa continues to stand there, awkwardly watching you clean up the spill. You turn to him once more, furrowing your brows in confusion. "What?"

"We're just not gonna talk about it?"

"We're not doing this right now." You look at him. "Not at your dad's retirement party."

"Then when, Y/N? You're just gonna leave everything like this?"

"I don't know, Seonghwa! I guess so, cause I'm definitely not doing this now." He lets out a hefty sigh before slowly nodding his head.

"Wow, so you're fine with—"

"Stop." Seonghwa licks his lips and purses them together before breaking eye contact first. It's the easiest comeback he has, and he's not sure why he feels so angry, so triggered, right now. It's probably because he wishes you had just talked to him before the party. It's probably because it's been too long and he's not even sure where this leaves you two anymore. It's probably because he misses you and wishes he could just hug you. Call you. Text you. Do everything that he used to. Regardless of the kiss.

"Alright." Seonghwa says, surrendering and waving the white flag. You catch the way his jaw slightly clenches when he tears his eyes away from you and breaks eye contact. It does break your heart, and you hate that this is what you two have become. But, you weren't gonna do this on his dad's special day. Not at his dad's party.

"Excuse me." You grab your cup and Seonghwa steps aside to let you walk out first. He follows suit, shutting the sliding door behind him. Your friends and Soyeon don't fail to catch how bothered you two look even though you try to keep it under wraps, continuing to keep distance even as the afternoon goes on.

While Charli continues to play with the lego set in between playing with Seonghwa's baby cousins, you, your friends, and Seonghwa's relatives engage in more drinking and karaoke. Seonghwa and his mom take a moment to say little speeches over the cake, congratulating his dad for his retirement and for reaching a milestone in his life. You go about the party as normal as possible, keeping the energy and the good vibes alive even though it truly feels the worst not being able to genuinely be happy around the people you love the most.

You knew it was time to talk to Seonghwa soon, and that he was waiting for you to do it. He had been waiting for you, and god knows how disappointed he must have been in you.

Everything just feels so fucked up, and you feel so torn about everything. You wish you could just run away and hide from it all, even though you equally wanted to fix this and figure out where you two lie in all of this.

What about Makayla?

Was he still seeing her like that?

That's probably the one thing you were most afraid of. Seonghwa was your bestfriend. Despite all of this, you should be happy with whatever he chooses. He deserves it. He didn't deserve what you gave him at the club or how you failed to be honest about your feelings. This was all because of you.

As the evening arrives, you and Soyeon plan to leave in the next half hour due to Charli getting restless. As you pack some food to go for the both of you, Seonghwa's mom rushes over to you and puts her hand on your back. She looks at you lovingly like she always has, a soft smile on her face.

"Come here really quickly.” Her hand laces with yours as she shows you to their room. "I was cleaning up the garage the other day and found these photos and videos." She hands you some old photos of you, your dad, and Seonghwa and his dad while out. You flip through them, feeling the tears welling up in your bottom lids.

You missed your dad so, so much.

There were even photos of you and Seonghwa on the playground, photos of you and Seonghwa laughing while on a family trip, photos of you and Seonghwa hanging out in each other's backyards. Photos of you, your dad, Seonghwa and Seonghwa's dad together.

"This, too." His mom slips an old VHS tape into the VCR and you giggle a bit at how long it's been since you've watched something on tape. A huge wave of nostalgia immediately rushes over you as you gently place the photos down and watch the video of you and your dad during the fourth grade trip to the local zoo.

"He truly adored you more than anything. You will always be his little girl." She says and you start crying. Seonghwa's mom leans her head on your shoulder, and you lean onto her; silently enjoying the footage together. All of this was perfect timing, and you knew Seonghwa's mom did it for a reason. Your dad's death anniversary would be coming later in the week and it was everything you needed to find some comfort.

"I miss him."

"I know he misses you, too."

"Thank you." You look at her and give her a toothless smile. "Can I take these pictures?"

"Of course! Want the tapes, too?"

"Is it okay if I keep it here? I don't have a VCR." She laughs a bit and nods.

"Yes, absolutely." She rubs your arm before pulling you into another hug. "I'm glad you came out today."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You and Seonghwa seem to be fighting." She makes a face that makes you laugh. "What happened? What did he do?"

"Nothing. It was me. We just got.. into a disagreement, I guess. It's my fault though, and I just haven't been able to talk to him to apologize."

"You two will be fine."

"I know." You give her another tiny, toothless smile. "I hope." The two of you sit together for a little longer, taking in the rest of the photos before you wrap it up and head back out to the party.

At this point, your friends are taking their leave, with Charli laying on Soyeon as her mom holds her. She hands you the bags of all the food you packed for yourself, Yaya and Soyeon, saying your goodbyes to everyone still around. You save Seonghwa for last, giving him a tiny smile as he pulls you into a full-armed hug. You embrace the hug, pressing your cheek against his chest before he pulls away and looks at you.

"Wait." He says, holding you by the shoulders. "Have you been crying?" He looks deeply into your eyes and takes note of your wet eyelashes. You brush it off and look away, shaking your head as a response.

"No, I haven't." You brush past him to finish saying bye to his parents before rushing out the door to your own family. Seonghwa furrows his brows and looks at his mom, realizing she also has wet lashes and just looked like she finished crying.

"Were you and Y/N crying together?"

"I showed her some photos and videos with her dad that I found in the garage." She shows him the date on her phone and it’s enough for Seonghwa to understand what it means.

"Oh. I see." Is all he says. "Was she okay?"

"I think so. She can always say she's okay even though deep down, she's not." She puts her hand on Seonghwa's arm. "I don't know if it'll ever get easier for her."

"Goodmorning Hwa! Have you heard from Y/N yet? I wanted to ask her something but she hadn't texted me back and her phone is off. I think I might know why, though." Seonghwa lets out a breath and licks his lips before responding.

"I see. I'll check." He says. "I got you."

"Thanks. If you do see her, tell her to call me later when she's up for it."

"I will." And with that, Seonghwa cuts the call. He looks at his watch before devouring the rest of his breakfast, grabbing his bag and heading out the door much earlier than expected. It's a crisp, cold day. Somewhat of a drastic change compared to the days they've been having. Seonghwa can see his breath in the air, and he's regretting the light windbreaker jacket he grabbed as he rushed out the door— hoping it'd get warmer.

But, it doesn't.

He has to be at work in a bit, and he's probably even gonna be late. He's just concerned about you, and even though things still feel weird, awkward— he knows he needs to be here for you. Especially during this time.

And Seonghwa's timing couldn't be any more perfect. Because although today isn't the exact day of your dad's death anniversary, it's in two days and you never know how to prepare. Lately, you've found yourself avoiding the exact day, visiting your dad’s grave a few days earlier to say some words, say your peace. Cry and reminisce. When the day comes, you try to keep yourself busy. You work and you work, and you spend time with Yaya, or Soyeon, or even Seonghwa's family because it's the love you need to surround yourself with. As much as you love them all dearly, they aren't your dad and it never gets easier. It's an unbearable pain you can't even describe. It doesn't go away. It just sits there, leaning onto your already-broken heart and weighing heavily on the surface.

You've been quietly sitting at your dad'd grave, fingers tracing over his picture. You smile whenever you see his bright smile, his eyes holding all the irreplaceable love in the world. You're not even sure how long it's been since you got here, maybe an hour or two. It's cold, but you don't want to leave. You want to spend as much time as you can being here even though it is hard.

You continue to cry and slowly fix the flowers around his grave and other offerings. You set one of the framed pictures of you, Seonghwa, and your dads onto his grave before crying, and crying some more. Suddenly, you feel someone drape a jacket over your shoulders, and with the circumstances, you would've been spooked if it were any other day. But, you feel at ease. You feel comforted. You feel completely fine because everything feels familiar. Your feelings are confirmed when Seonghwa wraps his arm around you and pulls you close.

"It's cold, how long have you been out here for?"

"Awhile."

"You should've called me." Is all he says before there's a brief silence that falls between you two.

"I always think it'll get easier." You mumble as you wipe away at your tears. "When a new year comes, I always feel like it'll be the year I'll finally be able to process this and say my peace to it." You start breaking down again and Seonghwa sits still, silently listening to you cry. "But, it never turns out that way. It just gets harder."

"It's an unbearable pain that doesn't go away. I'm sorry it had to be you, and I wish it didn't turn out this way. I wish it wasn't like this for you." Seonghwa says lowly as he continues to hug you and keep you close. "Your dad is always here, watching over you. And I know he'd be so proud of you for being so strong and overcoming all the adversity that came your way."

"I just miss him, Hwa. I really wish I could hug him again. I'll never forgive myself for taking advantage of all those chances and for being too comfortable."

"Y/N, this is the sort of tragedy that you can't control. It's awful, but you would have never known. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. You did your best as his daughter, and I know he appreciated every moment until the end. I know he felt your love through everything." You cry onto his shoulder, letting everything that you still have left in you out. Seonghwa continues to hold you close, hand rubbing up and down your arm as his cheek rests on the top of your head.

"You really didn't have to come, pichu."

"And let you do this alone? I don't think so." You shift in your position to look at him. He gently takes a thumb underneath your eyes, wiping away at your tears.

"Can we talk? At my place?"

"Yeah. I'll come as soon as I'm done with work, okay?" You nod and Seonghwa gives you a tiny smile. The two of you sit in silence for a little longer before you're saying your goodbyes and heading your separate ways.

"By the way, Soyeon wanted to ask you something." He dips his head. "Call her when you get home." You nod again. "Drive safely for me." He taps your door frame before shutting it close and heading to his own car. You watch in your mirror, waiting for Seonghwa to step into his car before you drive off and head home.

Getting home, you immediately wash up, get into comfier clothes and call Soyeon to check in with her when you see her texts. You agree to picking up a few extra shifts throughout the week to cover for Jini finally taking some time off for personal reasons. You hang out on the couch, putting on a reality TV show you had already finished— you figured it'd be good for background noise. Filling up the emptiness of your space. You end up taking a long nap, waking up close to dinner by Yaya calling you into the house to share some food with her. It felt nice catching up on sleep, since you weren’t able to get much the night before. You spend most of your early evening with Yaya, helping her clean up around the kitchen before you retreat back to your place and pick up your phone when a text goes off.

[seonghwa]: need anything for dinner?

[you]: no i ate already, ty. just get yourself something!

[seonghwa]: okay. i'll be over in a few mins

You tidy up even more as if it's the first time Seonghwa is coming over. But, you feel nervous all over again. You feel like every inch of your apartment has to be clean in order to prep; overall, it feels like nothing can really prep you for whatever will go down tonight between you and Seonghwa and this is only helping distract you from that thought. You just hope it ends on a good note.

"Sorry it took me a little longer, had hella shit to do for the trainees today." You shrug as you look at him from the couch, wrapped up in your blanket.

"It's okay."

"What'd you do when you got home?"

"Hm, clean. Nap. Eat dinner with Yaya. How was work?" He shrugs.

"Tiring." He plops next to you on the couch. You notice he's drinking a protein shake, with nothing else in hand.

"You didn't get anything to eat?" He shakes his head.

"I'm not really hungry."

"Hm, okay." You hum. "Thanks for still coming over even though you had a long day." He looks at you and gives you a toothless smile.

"Course." You scoot a little closer and he continues to watch you. He watches the cute little frown on your face build— staring at him all doe-eyed and it makes his heart flutter.

"I'm sorry for everything, pichu. I didn't mean to get mad at you that night the fight broke out. I just didn't wanna see you hurt and I'm stupid for not pushing Mingi away. For finding excuses. You shouldn't have to save me every single time and I'm sorry it has been that way over the years." You tilt your head. "I really am sorry, and I didn't mean to make things more complicated especially with the kiss. I probably ruined things with Makayla—"

"We're just friends." He chimes in. "We're just friends and you didn't ruin anything."

"She was at your place? In your clothes?" He nods and chuckles a bit.

"Yeah, cause things escalated for one night. I'm not gonna lie. But, that's really it. She knew.." Seonghwa looks at you and shakes his head. "Nevermind."

"No, tell me. She knew, what?" You place your hand on his and gentle shake it.

"She knew the way I felt about you, especially after that morning."

"Oh."

"I guess she could just tell."

"I'm sorry, Hwa." He clicks his teeth and caresses your cheek.

"Stop saying sorry. Nothing was ruined. Everything's good between us and we're still friends."

"Where does that leave us?"

"You know what I want. What do you want?" You look at him for a moment, really look at him, and he's patiently waiting for your response. His big, brown eyes are holding hope, holding love, holding every bit of affection he has for you— even though he's trying his best to keep it at bay. At this moment, you couldn't even question how Seonghwa felt for you because it's overflowing from his look alone. He really wanted you. He really wanted to give you the world, if you'd let him.

"I'm just scared, Hwa." You say, close to a whisper— bottom lip trembling. He lifts your chin as he scoots closer, keeping you close and warm while his big, brown eyes peer into yours with pure adoration. There's a mix of worry, concern, but he knows better than this. He knows you two are better than this.

"I am too, I have been for a long time. But, please trust me when I tell you that I'm here and that I'll never leave your side no matter what. I'm here, Y/N. I want this, I want you. I have always wanted this."

"Don't lie."

"You know I hate liars." He chuckles a bit.

"I feel the same, Hwa. I do.”

"Yeah? You're with me? Genuinely?" You nod. "I need you to be sure of us, Y/N."

"I'm sure. I'm sorry I ever doubted you or questioned it, but I'm sure." You shed a few more tears while Seonghwa chuckles a bit. "Hey." You whine. "I'm serious!"

"I am, too." He smiles. "Stop crying, you look ugly when you cry." He teases and you smack his arm. "Just come here." He says, pulling you closer and lifting your chin up. "I got you, okay? I got us.”

"Okay."

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Seonghwa asks, close to a whisper. You quietly nod, watching as he dips forward and closes in for a kiss. It's soft, it's sweet, it's light. It makes your lips tingle, it makes you feel all sorts of butterflies. Before Seonghwa can pull back, you immediately chase after his lips— asking for another, just deeper, more intense. It quickly builds without having to do or say much; Seonghwa's large hand cupping your cheeks right before you straddle his lap, careful not to break the kiss. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, background noise now also being filled with the sound of wet kisses. Small whines and whimpers. Seonghwa's hands fall to your ass, giving it a good squeeze when he feels you slowly rock against his already-hard cock.

"Fuck." He hisses just as you suck onto his bottom lip and tug back on it. "Hold onto me." He demands as he swiftly carries you, letting you wrap your arms around his neck, legs around his waist. He drops you onto the bed and continues to kiss you, making his way down to your jaw. Neck.

"Gonna ask again.” He places a kiss on your jaw. “Sure about this? Us? If you want me to stop, I'll stop." You shake your head as Seonghwa continues to plant kisses wherever he can, thumb fiddling with the hem of your shorts.

"Keep going." You reassure him through a quick cheek caress when he stops and stares. "Please. I’m sure."

"Okay." He whispers before dipping in for a final kiss on the lips. The both of you continue to shed off your clothes, tossing them at different points in your studio. "You're still on birth control, right? I'm clean."

"Mhm." You barely respond before you let out a small gasp when Seonghwa's thumb run down your folds, feeling for how wet you are already. He presses at your sensitive nub, biting onto his bottom lip when he sees how you easily respond.

"So wet already." Your mouth waters when Seonghwa finally sheds off his boxers and pumps himself a few times. When Seonghwa tugs the covers up and slightly hovers over your body, he teases you for a few minutes by running his tip up and down your folds. He lets out a small moan before slowly breaching your entrance, sliding in with ease because of how wet you are.

This whole thing feels so raw, feels so new, feels so.. meant to be.

So perfect.

Like fitting in the last piece of a 1000-piece puzzle.

Seonghwa slowly works himself into you to adjust to the feeling, his mouth slacked open against yours at how good, how perfect, you feel. He finds a steady rhythm, your legs cocked open for him as he dives deeper, and deeper— hitting you in all the right spots. Seonghwa thinks the feeling is indescribable. It's the fact that the person he genuinely loves is underneath him, the person he genuinely loves has admitted in feeling the same about him, about this. It's the fact that everything feels so, so right.

It makes everything about this exciting, more pleasurable.

"God, you feel so good—" He groans. "Baby, fuck." The pet name sends shivers down your spine, eliciting a loud moan to slip from your lips. He picks up the pace, fucking into you rougher, faster.

"Seonghwa—" You whine. He sits up, hands splayed out on your thighs to keep them spread open while thrusting into you. He watches as you shut your eyes, back arching in pleasure, teeth biting onto your bottom lip to prevent yourself from moaning too loud. "Mm'close." You mewl as Seonghwa's hips become a little sloppier, his movements rough and hard. You start to move your hips to match his movements, tipping closer and closer over the edge with every move, every moan, every kiss. Suddenly, you still as you let out a loud moan of Seonghwa's name— a huge wave of pleasure, ecstasy, washing over your body. Seonghwa takes the opportunity to chase his high, hips stuttering just as he releases his seed into you shortly afterwards. A strangled, deep moan leaves his lips as he presses wet kisses against your neck, jaw, lips.

"Y/N." He looks at you, brushing the hair away from your face.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @yeosangsbbg @jycas @lyracarvahall @huachengsbestie01 @laurenwidjaja @taz-97 @asjkdk @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

217 notes · View notes

intrepidacious · 5 months ago

Text

occupy my brain [4]

series summary: Being Harlan Thrombey’s research assistant would be the perfect summer job if it weren’t for his grandson.

pairing: ransom drysdale x f!reader

word count: 1.8k

chapter warnings: heavily implied smut; ransom being his usual asshole self; the repercussions of chapter 3 😏 please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: these chapters keep getting longer and someone needs to stop me to be quite honest. or maybe don't. this was a fun one 🤭

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

searching for redemption

It had been a few days since the incident, and your mind couldn't stop replaying that night. It was like you were stuck on a loop. Every time you closed your eyes, you could feel his hands on you again. His lips.

And when your own hands traveled down your body, you couldn't replicate the sensations those memories brought you. The frantic clashing of your bodies against each other, the heat, the sounds.

It was maddening.

The last thing you needed right now was an unhealthy obsession with the memory of Ransom fucking Drysdale's dick.

You'd have to quit. You'd have to leave the country. You were still thanking your lucky stars that Harlan Thrombey hadn't said anything about the state of you the morning after, when you arrived at your meeting late and in a very wrinkled shirt. You'd wanted to die.

The man wrote detective novels, for crying out loud. It didn't exactly take Sherlock Holmes to deduce what you'd been up to the night before.

The one silver lining was that Ransom was still as unwilling to get any actual work done as ever, and so you'd been pretty successful at evading him. Apart from a couple of research-related texts exchanged between the two of you, you hadn't heard from him at all; and even though your own messages were bordering on passive-aggressive, his stayed surprisingly, and thankfully, innuendo-free.

You just wanted to forget any of it had ever happened.

There were only a few weeks left of your run at Blood and Wine, and then you never had to see him again at all. You'd never been more grateful for your semester schedule picking up immediately after break. After sinking a couple of eighty-hour weeks into lab reports and essays and analyses, you'd be back to normal again.

Everything was going to be fine.

Except there were still a few weeks left of your run at Blood and Wine, and when you left the lab building on Friday afternoon to catch a ride home with your friend, her car wasn't anywhere on the parking lot. Instead, you could see a beat-up BMW and a certain dark-haired asshole leaning against it.

Heat rushed to your cheeks immediately at the sight of him. His lips were twisted into his usual scowl as he scrolled through his phone. It wasn’t bright enough outside to warrant wearing sunglasses, and yet Mr Pretentious did it anyway.

"What are you doing here?" you called out, stopping a couple of paces away from him.

Ransom put his phone away, and even though you couldn't see his eyes you could feel his gaze dragging up and down your body lazily. You ground your teeth.

"We've been summoned," he finally said. "Don't you ever check your phone?"

As a matter of fact, you hadn't in a while; labs made you forget all concept of time, particularly with the amount of reports you'd had to finish. You found an e-mail from Harlan Thrombey marked urgent as well as several missed calls from [Don't even think about it] and a message from your friend telling you she'd left without you after "your asshole guy told me u had plans. use protection!!"

"How did you even know where I was, anyway?" you asked, putting your phone away again without deigning to answer that particular text.

"I asked nicely."

You snorted.

"Can we go or do you wanna wait here until you take root?"

"Right now?" you said reluctantly.

"Right now," Ransom drawled. "Get in."

So much for your evening plans of watching a couple of episodes of your favorite show and eating sushi in bed. With a groan, you climbed into his car. It smelled surprisingly nice in here, like worn-out leather and some expensive air freshener and, well, Ransom.

Hot breaths and sticky skin and low moans and—

The engine roared to a start and you quickly turned away to put your seatbelt on. It was a twenty minute drive to the Thrombey estate, and you spent the first half of it staring out of the window, ignoring the man behind the wheel. You weren't sure what you were waiting for; some snide remark, probably, an excuse for you to rip into him like you usually would and leave everything that had happened between you behind for good.

"You're being awfully quiet today."

When you looked at him, he was staring blankly at the road ahead, his face unbothered. He still hadn't taken off his sunglasses, even though the lights were pretty low now. Prick.

"Because this is weird," you said.

He put the blinker on, every movement nonchalant. "Why?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know why."

The pause that followed was long enough it almost let you hope he'd just drop it and you'd be off the hook. You could just move through the uncomfortable air between you and continue working together as history's worst team until you could finally part ways.

"Do you always get like this or has it been a while?"

Then again, always lovely to be reminded how much you hated the guy.

"You know what, I'm not even going to answer that," you said sharply.

"The second one, then."

"It's none of your business, Ransom."

"No," he said and readjusted his glasses. "It was fun, though."

"Fuck you."

He stayed silent for the rest of the drive, but the smug energy still radiated off him. You entertained yourself by thinking about murder.

*~*~*

"Ransom, take those glasses off," Harlan said as soon as you sat down in his office.

You gave Ransom a look that said told you so; you'd had that discussion just minutes earlier.

"No thanks," he answered, leaning back in his chair. "What did you want to talk about?"

Harlan sighed heavily. "Off now or so help me god, I'm going to write you out of my will after all."

There were a couple of angry red splotches forming on Ransom's neck, right above the spot where you knew you'd left your mark on him, which was just hidden by the collar of his sweater today. With another gruff sound, he finally pulled his sunglasses off.

You swallowed your gasp down.

"What happened with you?"

Ransom raised his chin to look his grandfather straight in the eye; it made the shadows fall on his face in a way that made the dark bruise stand out even more.

"I fell," he said dryly, his features made of stone.

You didn't hear Harlan's reply; you barely took anything from the meeting, even though you felt yourself nodding, agreeing to consider a couple of different things in your research for the remainder of your work time. Later, you even found a couple of notes you'd taken on your phone.

Your thoughts were swirling and you didn't even know why. It was all very confusing.

Only when you got back to Ransom's car, because of course you'd had to agree to him driving you again, that one thing crystallized for you clear as day: you were furious with him.

"You fell, huh?" you said sharply.

"That's what I said."

"Bullshit someone else, Drysdale. What did you do?"

"Why do you care?" he said, tilting his head. "Because we fucked one time?"

Your face was burning. "Sorry for trying to be a decent human being."

You crawled into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut behind you, which really didn't have the intended effect when he was getting in on the other side just moments later.

Neither of you spoke this time. You were staring at your own reflection in the car window, still fuming; that's why it took you until the car slowed down that you weren't even in the area of your apartment building.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to ice my face," he said, turning off the engine, "and then I'm going to sleep."

"Hey!" You got out of the car after him, face incredulous. "You said you were gonna drive me home!"

"I said I'd drive you. I did. If you don't wanna stay, call yourself an uber."

Drowning. Strangulation. Multiple lacerations to his thorax.

"You're such a prick."

"Where have I heard that one before?"

You followed him into the entrance hall because damn him, you were not going to stand out there in the middle of the night and hope for an uber to be in the vicinity.

"Brighten up, sunshine," he said, another way too smug expression on his face. "You need to learn how to relax."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" you hissed, throwing one of your shoes at him.

"Jesus, what—I should be the one asking you that."

You threw the second shoe. "I’m not the one driving you insane!"

"You sure about that?" His voice was low, almost raspy, and your gaze snapped to his, almost involuntarily. His eyes seemed to bore straight into your soul, like he was searching for something.

Slowly, he stepped closer to you, his hands roughly grabbing your face. Still, the way he pulled you towards him was almost gentle, his gaze heavy with something you couldn’t pin down. At last, your faces were merely inches apart. You couldn’t breathe.

Then, finally, his lips found yours again, softer this time but no less demanding. You clasped your hands around his neck to keep your balance when he started walking towards you, making you blindly stumble backwards, his arms securely around you when you almost tripped over something on the floor. You didn’t care to open your eyes.

You hissed when your calves hit the stairs sharpy, the pain almost enough to break the spell he put you under. "Ransom—" you tried.

He huffed disapprovingly, his grip tightening, and then he continued walking you up the stairs, letting you lean on him just enough to not lose your balance, the hunger in his eyes growing even as he noticed the uncertainty in yours.

Getting to the second floor took moments. It took hours. His mouth found that spot on your neck again and you shuddered, your grip on him tightening.

"We shouldn't—" You gasped when he nipped at your shoulder. "Shouldn't we talk about this?"

"Do you want to talk?" he snarled, his hands wandering down to your ass. "Or do you want to stop thinking for once in your life and let me make you cum enough times you won't be able to walk tomorrow?"

You grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged his head backwards until he hissed, forcing him to look at you. The bruise around his eye looked even angrier up close, and you inexplicably found yourself wanting to trace it, not to hurt him more but to soothe.

Instead, you swallowed it down. "Promises, promises," you said.

He didn't need another invitation.

thank you to everyone who voted for this chapter on my most recent poll, it was a close one!! if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications 🧡

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale fic #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale fanfic #ransom drysdale series #knives out fanfiction #knives out fanfic #occupy my brain

83 notes · View notes

shmorp-mcdurgen · 9 months ago

Text

An Analysis of Gman in Half Life: Alyx

HL:A Gman is by far the most interesting version of Gman I've seen and I've noticed so many details in his one interaction with Alyx, to the point I needed to make a full post about all the bullet points. (Note that this is MY personal interpretation, so it could be different from what was intended or what other people believe)

Starting from the very beginning, when Alyx asks whether Gman is Gordon Freeman or not, he responds in a kind of. Condescending way.

It's almost like he's amused by the fact he was mistaken for Gordon. not to mention the use of "Imprison" in the statement, almost as if he's not only making a snide remark towards Gordon, but also implying that even he sees Gordon's employment as "imprisonment". Not to mention the implication that it really does not take that much to hold Gordon captive in one way or another. Could also be literal, meaning Gordon isn't near powerful enough to require a full Vault be built around him.

A: "So. Who are you?"

Alyx asks a very simple question cause. why wouldn't she be confused? She expected a super-weapon; she expected Gordon Freeman, so when she found nothing but a man in a suit who straight up scoffs at the misunderstanding, of COURSE she'd want to ask questions. However, Gman only responds with:

Gman deflects the question, but rather than completely ignoring it, he simply leads it into a new question: "What can I offer you?"

He guides the conversation to a different topic, luring Alyx away from questioning who, or what, he is, whether it's because he doesn't want to (or can't) give an answer, or if it's because he simply wants the conversation to move forward rather than being caught on the nature of Gman himself.

G: "Some believe the fate of our world is Inflexible. My Employers disagree."

This statement is funny in an ironic way. he states that fate is flexible and can be changed, yet. When was the last time Gman didn't have full say on what can and will happen? By making everything go a very specific way, you CREATE fate.

G: "They authorize me to… nudge things in a particular direction from time to time. What would YOU want nudged, Ms. Vance?"

The use of word "Nudge" is an interesting way to describe changing things within the timeline. though something else that's interesting is his facial expressions during this moment.

He looks almost. Kind. but in a forced sort of way. It feels like he's expecting a certain answer from Alyx, and is just waiting for her to say it.

However, when she says she wants the combine off earth, his expression changes.

The change in expression implies that Alyx's answer was not the one he wanted or hoped for. Thus, he once again ignores what Alyx said and gives his own reasons for it.

G: "Ahhh. That would be a considerably large nudge. Too large, given the interests of my employers."

Rather than giving Alyx a second chance at a more reasonable request however, he instead says:

G: "What if I could offer you something you don't know you want?"

It finally clicks together why Gman's there: To make a deal. Whatever Alyx said before this moment was completely irrelevant. No matter what Alyx requested to have "Nudged", he would have brought up his own offer. He had already mapped out how the conversation was going to end even before Alyx had even begun speaking to him. It was just a matter of getting there.

Gman showing Alyx her fathers death was an intentional and targeted choice. Alyx is a little more naïve here than she is in HL2, not to mention her close relationship to Eli. Eli is one of the only people she has left at this point in her life, so. Why wouldn't she want to save him? This is exactly the reason Gman chose this event in particular above anything else, because he knew it was an offer Alyx would NEVER say no to. He knows Alyx more than she knows herself, and had already predicted the outcome of the situation. So, understandably, Alyx kills the Advisor in place of her father's life.

This line. This line is so interesting to me in particular. Rather than describing Eli as a "person" or "human", and describing the dead Advisor as something "alien", he refers to both as "entities." almost as if he sees both of them on the same wavelength of sorts. It implies Gman sees no difference between a human and an animal, or alien of some kind. Sees them all as simply that. Entities.

Yet another example of Gman deflecting the questions given to him, guiding the conversation instead towards Alyx herself.

G: "A previous hire has been unable — or unwilling — to perform the tasks laid before him. We have struggled to find a suitable replacement. Until now."

Him referring to Gordon in this way is interesting to me. Was the sudden wish to drop Gordon from employment due to the Vortigaunt intervention in HL2 Episode 1? Was it because Gordon was truly incapable of fulfilling certain "tasks"? Or maybe it was because Gordon was not as vulnerable to Gman's influence? It's unclear, and it's also not clear whether this means Gordon is fully free of Gman's control or not.

At this point it's made crystal clear that Alyx killing the advisor in place of her father was a contract she was signing, one she didn't even know she held the pen to. This was always going to be the outcome of the interaction, since the beginning. Everything Alyx had done up to that point was to help Gman and his "Employers" get further in their goals now that Gordon was deemed "Incapable". Nothing that Alyx could have done would've mattered; her "fate" was decided from the beginning.

Overall what I gather from this ending is a lot about Gman as a character. He never truly lies, yet he purposefully leaves out important details, such as the fact that reversing Eli's death wasn't without a price. He manipulates the conversation to fit his wants and needs, ignoring direct questions he sees as unimportant to his goals. And the thing is, he does it in a way that Alyx doesn't even seem to notice. He has played this game so many times that he knows exactly what moves to play. He knows the people he talks to more than they know themselves. He uses their worst fears against them to make them go to him for safety.

Judging by the things Gordon survived in Black Mesa, you can gauge he had a strong will to survive. So what better to do to seal a deal than to threaten that life he cares so much about? To tell him that the only other option was to go under Gman's employment else he face death itself? Alyx had such a strong connection to her father, so what better to do than to tell her that Eli will die if she doesn't do anything, luring her in to sign a contract without even knowing what she was signing?

Gman is a master manipulator, no better words for it. And he always manages to do it in such a way that you can barely even notice it happening. He never raises his voice. he never shows irritation or hostility aside from only one instance. Because why should he be frustrated? He's won even before the game started. And honestly that is frightening to me, cause it shows that he's done this many times before and knows just how to get what he and his "Employers" want, regardless of how it effects other people.

#half life #half-life #gman #g-man #ramblings :)#my god I have so many thoughts on this thing this creature #another thing I wanted to mention but had no place to is Gman's body language #He uses a lot of hand gestures and the way he overall moves is almost. Stiff.#Also the fact he seems to circle around Alyx like some sort of. Predator animal #He's a frightening dude when you think about it #Are all my points something other people have noticed as well? Almost definitely #But I wanted to put this analysis out there regardless just because. HL:A Gman is so well written #The EPITOME of Gman to me #Like. HL2 gman is silly as well but. come ON #It really feels like HL1 Gman was the base. HL2 was when he got his footing. and HLA is when he REALLY became his own #Like HL2 and HLA are when Gman fully became. Gman #GRAH this fucking guy

96 notes · View notes

lightlycareless · 9 months ago

Note

I’m sorry if this is a weird question. It’s totally cool if you just delete this if it is but when faced with another guy bothering Y/N, would he be the type to punch a guy out, intimidate them, or talk out of it(y’know that suave way of staking claim so to speak) :3

Hello anon!!!

Ah yes, the ask I thought I hallucinated by some strange reason 🤣 like, I believed I already posted the answer to this but I didn't???

Either way, this gave me the perfect opportunity to do a bit of angst :) a little "Naoya and Y/N realize being together isn't all rainbows"

warnings: highschool au, kind of. slight mentions of violence. you really worry for naoya. he has yet a lot to learn about being a good boyfriend. it's the early stages of the relationship.

Enjoy!

Honestly, this moment… is something everyone around you awaited.

I mean, Naoya is brash, stubborn, rude, selfish, nobody gets along with him, doesn't have that many friends, so on and so forth.

Thus, it was only natural that he'd eventually rub someone the wrong way…

Or be rubbed the wrong way.

Your boyfriend, as stated, was a threat by himself, but when you were added into the mix, it's like all his foul traits doubled. Not to you, of course not, never to the only other person he considered worthy of him.

But towards those foolish enough to think they still had a chance with you after making his claim. To defy the heir of the Zen'in is to have a death wish—wasn’t that common knowledge by now?!

Yet, to those ignorant of this fact, he is nothing but patient enough to remind.

“—Naoya!”

It happened all so quickly. One moment you were being pestered by a faceless student, insisting you’d leave your boyfriend for someone better, a bit more grounded, implying himself to be that person…

And the other, you were crying, heart thundering and hands trembling as the horrifying sight of Naoya beating that same guy unfolded before you.

The fight did not go without retaliation of course, your instigator never intending to take your boyfriend’s punches without retaliation, which lead you to shriek when a particular sharp blow landed against Naoya’s left side of his face, prompting you to run to their side and do all in your power to separate them—

To no avail.

“Stop it, Naoya!” You cried, helplessly trying to get them away from one another; but you never could compare to his strength. Less when he was determined to continue so. “Please! St—stop! You're— you're going to— you’re going to kill him!”

“What is going on??” Nanami exclaims. It wasn't his intention to get near the commotion, always one to avoid trouble whenever possible, but upon hearing your frightened voice, he ran as fast as possible to your aid. “Y/N!”

“Ken—Kento—! You— You have to stop them!” You wailed, frantically tugging at this arm and evoking a sense of urgency. “They're going to—they’re going to kill each other if you don’t!”

The ones that ultimately manage to separate the two are Suguru and Satoru, just before the teachers stepped in, but not enough to prevent them from being reprimanded by them, taking them to the principal’s office to discuss their rightful punishment—regardless of who provoked who.

“After my family sues you, you're fucking dead!”

“Ha! Do you not know who I am?! I'd like to see you try!” Naoya guffaws.

“Stop it already!” Yaga exclaimed “You're already knees deep in trouble, the last thing you both need is to be expelled!”

Ultimately, the threat of being away from you is enough to keep Naoya willing. One would think that he'd worry more about his family and the issue this small disturbance would bring, but truth is that he's gotten out of worse predicaments: him getting into an altercation with a nobody is not something that would prevent the elders, or him, from sleeping.

Though your prolonged silence, the cold judgment imposed by your piercing eyes, and the subtle annoyance displayed in your touch would; feeling tiny for the first time in his life before you, even when you were so attentively tending to his wounds once dismissed.

“Why are you so quiet, princess? Don’t tell me I scared ya’?” Naoya begins, cutting through the awkward silence settling between the two with a teasing tone he hopes would make light of the situation—make you forget of the blood curling screams you let out when he was entangled with that irrelevant kid who’d more likely disappear tomorrow, and move on…

But oh, how wrong he’d be to choose that path. Make fun of your poor heart.

“What? Thought I wouldn’t win? You know me better than—”

“Is this what it is to you? A joke?” You sternly state, stopping tending his wounds and subsequently quieting Naoya up.

“A joke?” Naoya repeats. “A joke would be him thinking he could win against—"

“Seriously, Naoya?! Is that all you have to say?!” You cry, beginning to crack. “Why must you always take it a competitive thing??”

“Ah, so what was I supposed to do? Let him beat me??” Naoya countered.

“There you go again, taking my words out of context! I didn’t even say that!” you whined.

“Well, it’s not like you’ve given me much to work on, princess.” He scowls. “Why are you even so angry? If anything, I should be the one upset because I got hurt for you, and this is the thanks I get!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?!” you gasp, offended as tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. “Was I the one that wanted this—this fight to happen? Did I tell you I wanted to see you get hurt?!”

“It’s kind of expected, don’t you think?” He states, making your eyes go wide. “We’re sorcerers, we’re bound to get hurt—if you didn’t want that then maybe you should’ve considered a different career—

Or a different boyfriend.”

“Is that—is that what you’re going to go with?” you firmly ask, as if giving him one last time to reconsider his words…

Which he did after you set aside the first aid kit, standing up with all intentions of leaving the room that he realized how gravely he’d messed up, quicky to grab your arm and pull you back to him; and though the wounds of his fight made it hurt, more so since you struggled against him, he did not relent.

“Wait, Y/N, please—That came out wrong, I didn’t mean—”

“And what did you mean, Naoya?” you say, with a trembling voice that made his heart sting even more. He’s just gotten out of one altercation to walk right into another one—how delightful. “If it isn’t to mock me for worrying?!”

“No, I wasn’t.” Naoya says, tightening his hold on you, as much as he could anyways. He just… he just didn’t want you to leave, not like this. Not when he needed you the most. “I would never!”

You don’t respond, there wasn’t much to say when his words didn’t match his actions.

“…I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“But you did.” You responded, and now he was able to hear the tears that had begun to slide down your cheeks. “You… you got into that awful fight instead of letting him go and almost got yourself expelled—no, worse! Killed!”

“But it didn’t happen, you know? You… you called for help, and we stopped!”

“Because you wouldn’t listen!” You wept, turning around and taking a good look at his face. Naoya wishes you hadn’t, however, because seeing you cry just broke his heart into a million pieces. “Neither of you!”

“Y/N—”

“You were like… like an animal out there.” You added. “Nothing seemed to snap you out of trance, and I—I got so scared—!”

“I didn’t mean to scare you either.”

“Does it even matter? You said so yourself, this is what sorcerers are supposed to do.”

“No, you know what I meant—”

“No. I don’t. I really don’t know what you meant.”

…

“I did this to protect you.” Naoya quietly adds. “I just… got so angry seeing you being bothered by that idiot, that I… I needed to do something. I needed to get him away from you!”

“…Why can’t you understand this isn’t what I wanted?” You sniffle. “I didn’t want you to get hurt, no matter the reason why.”

“I know, I know you didn’t—”

“Then… why did you do it? What made you so angry, enough to beat him up and risk your career?”

The thought of being undeserving of you. Naoya concluded. Because his words had unwittingly struck a nerve, a thought he’s tried his hardest to push deep within the confines of his mind, but until he makes amends with himself, he’ll never be able to escape that fear.

The notion that perhaps there is someone better out there for you… and that person isn’t himself.

And after the way he’s made you cry, such bitter tears… perhaps that was the truth.

“I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want.” Naoya quietly concludes, making your eyes widen once more. “So I will never hurt you again.”

“Naoya, that’s—that’s not what I want!” you gasp, heart clenching at the prospect of him leaving you. “Not at all!”

“What good of a boyfriend could I be if I all I do ends up hurting you?”

“And you think that leaving me wouldn’t do just that??” you fret. “That living a life without you won’t make me miserable?!”

“It seems I already do…”

“N—No! I don’t—I don’t want that! I—I can’t allow it!” you sob, immediately wrapping your arms around him. “I just got you… I don’t want to lo—lose you…!”

Now with tears in his eyes, Naoya tightly embraces you, pulling you as close as possible as he reassures your fears away.

“Princess…” Naoya breathes, cupping your face and making you look to him. “It’ll take a whole lot for me to ever leave you. Probably the end of the world—but you’ll never lose me, ever.”

“You don’t—you don’t know how awful it felt to not be able to do anything!” you confess. “I… I tried to get him off you but I—I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t protect you!”

“No, no, Y/N—That’s my job. I’m supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”

“But you—what about you? What if you need me? What am I supposed to do?”

“Leave all the heavy lifting to me, and you…” Naoya smiles, intertwining his hands with yours. “You can patch me up after, eh? Heal me up.”

“Nao—Naoya.” You sniffle, lips trembling as tears continued to flood your face. “Promise me you—promise me you’ll always be careful… please.”

“I promise.” He says, taking your hands to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles. “Though I doubt someone as talented as me might need to make such promises—it’s a given.”

“Don’t be silly…” you murmur, he chuckles. “As long as you’re a sorcerer, I’ll always worry…”

“Good thing I have my mochi to take care of me, hm? Have me in her thoughts while I’m away.” Naoya smiles.

“You better not come back too roughed up, then. Or I—Or I won’t be able to help much…”

“Not that I need much, your kisses are sufficient enough to make me feel much—ah, shit, princess?!” Naoya gasps, startled by the stinging sensation of the alcohol-soaked cotton pressed against his skin. “Should’ve given me a warning, at least!”

“I thought you only needed my kisses?” You gently tease, he frowns. “Sorry, I just needed to clean you up before you do anything else, you started bleeding again.”

“…Fine, I guess.” Naoya pouts, hissing whenever feeling the alcohol against his wounds.

“What will happen with… him, by the way?”

“I don’t know, he’s getting expelled I guess.” Naoya shrugs. “I’ll make it happen if not.”

“Naoya…”

“What? He was bothering you—think I’m going to let that slide? No one annoys my princess outside of me.”

“… Thank you, for protecting me, really.” You eventually murmur, putting away everything once done. You then lean forward, placing a chaste kiss over his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little mochi.” Naoya smiles, kissing you once more. “My sweet damsel in distress, are you going to nurse me until I’m all better?”

“Don’t call me that—and do I have another choice?”

He snickers. “I guess not, but you wouldn’t want it any other way, would you?”

You smile.

“No, I guess not.”

…

“I wouldn’t mind if you dressed up as a nurse too, you know? Heard it helps for a faster recovery.”

“Don’t push it…

…

here, at least.”

Naoya smirks. Maybe he should get a bit roughed up once in a while.

Yes he'd beat up someone for you, naturally. let's not forget his go-to solution in grave situations is killing someone lol.

Anyways, I hope you liked this little something!! It's kind of refreshing to write the Naoya that has yet to learn how to approach you; like, I know I tend to write him perfect in certain aspects, but he was once a... brat, I guess haha. He doesn't know how to treat people, less the one he loves! We're bound to see more of this flawed Naoya very early in the relationship and I LOVE IT hehehe. I wonder what other stumbles I can write...?

Now, take care and hope to see you soon!!

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

67 notes · View notes

borathae · 1 year ago

Text

↳ Index [Chapter 05 - Bonding]

Focus on Pairing: Jungkook x Taehyung

Warnings: a romantic picnic date in the forest, Tae is a nervous mess, he is actually a mess in general, so many insecurities and anxieties and signs of PTSD, please seriously someone hold this man, despite these warnings this chapter is so romantic and healing, Kook is the sweetest and most patient person ever, he is so fucking important to Tae's healing journey, they're really bonding <3, they're so cute :(, there is a moment where "smut" could be implied but i can't say more without spoiling the plot, there is no smut though, ah yes there is also talks about being queer and how amazing it is to be queer, i love being queer no joke <3, and i love them :(

Wordcount: 10.4k

a/n: i feel like these warnings are a mess bahahah i didn't wanna spoiler too much, this chapter is definitely the "angstiest" though which says a lot about this story because it's still so fluffy and sweet despite the "angst"

Yoongi’s softened eyes meet yours as you open them to a new morning. His face lights up, an adoring smile washes over his features. He must have been gazing at you for a while because his cheeks are slightly flushed.

You retort the smile instantly with your pulse speeding up. His eyes are dark brown again, his hair a deep black, and yet, the memory of how they glowed purple last night is still so fresh to you. He looked so incredibly beautiful.

You reach out and caress his cheek, making him flutter his lashes in contentment.

“Good morning, my beloved”, you speak softly.

“Good morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

He nods his head and scoots closer to kiss your forehead.

“I love you”, he whispers, making your heart race.

“I love you too.”

“My love”, he sighs, giving you a gentle hug.

You snuggle into him, giggling quietly.

“Last night was so nice”, you say.

“It was incredible”, he agrees.

“I can’t stop repeating the way you looked.”

“Me neither, my love. Your magic is so beautiful.”

“Yours is just as beautiful.”

He gives you a gentle squeeze, “my beloved love.”

You giggle, “Yoongi, oh god. You’re so cute.”

You crane your neck, kissing his lips. He smiles into the kiss, purring in happiness as his hand caresses your cheek.

You break the kiss once you need to breathe, putting some distance between each other so you could gaze.

“I like you so, so much, Boongie.”

“I like you too, my princess.”

You smile. He retorts it, holding your hand.

“Do you feel normal?” he asks.

“Yeah, just really happy and a little hungry. Why?”

“Just so. I still can’t believe you let me cum inside.”

“Yeah”, you agree with a giddy scrunch of your nose, “I don’t regret it.”

“Me neither”, he squeezes your hand, “if something happens and you change your mind, I will support you. I just want you to know.”

You know what he insinuates, feeling so incredibly safe with him.

“Thank you so much”, you kiss his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you too”, he answers you and rubs his tummy, “I’m hungry too.”

“You are? Oh poor Boongie”, you go to rub his tummy even if he giggles as a defence mechanism, “should we get brekky?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Taehyung and Jungkook are up earlier than you because the guestroom is already empty when you pass it. Yoongi thinks that they are downstairs and so you continue your way to the kitchen.

Taehyung is sitting cross-legged on the floor, freeing cherries from their pits together with your grandfather. Next to them, your grandmother is kneading dough for a pie. Jungkook isn’t present in the room, but the door to the garden is open. They have the radio on, playing songs from a long passed time.

“Good morning.”

Their heads turn in sync with your greeting. Their voices overlap as they all greet you and Yoongi. You hug your grandmother and your hug your grandfather, then you kiss Taehyung on his lips and caress his soft cheek. He leans into the touch with sparkly puppy eyes.

“Did you sleep well?” you ask no one in particular.

“I did”, Taehyung answers, “and you?”

“We did.”

“We didn’t get to see you at all yesterday.”

“I know, right? Yoongi and I practiced magic for almost the entire day and when we came back for dinner, you guys were still out, painting? Paps said that you were.”

One Day Prior

“Well then, I don’t wanna keep you from it. See you later, guys. I love you”, you say and send them flying kisses. You are below their window, carrying a picnic basket and a bright smile.

Taehyung and Jungkook catch the kisses you sent them, giggling just as you do.

“We love you too”, they say in unison, waving you goodbye as you continue your journey to the forest.

“She’s glowing today”, Taehyung says as he watches you skip along the path.

“I thought the same”, Jungkook says.

“Do you think that she will find Yoongi?”

“I bet she will. But even if she won’t, she’ll have a good time. She’ll probably just look at plants and cry over small animals.”

Taehyung laughs fondly. Jungkook does the same.

“That is something she would do.”

“Yeah right?”

You disappear out of their sight as the forest swallows you. The two men shift their eyes back to the view of the forest before them. Taehyung steps closer to Jungkook and hugs his waist tighter.

“Your heart’s racing like crazy, by the way”, Jungkook speaks softly as his fingers play with Taehyung’s mindlessly. He has his left hand rested on the window sill and Jungkook took the chance.

“Because I am with you.”

“You’re a softie.”

“I am. For you”, Taehyung kisses Jungkook’s neck gently, “my weakness.”

Jungkook smiles fondly, “softie.”

Taehyung purrs, rubbing his cheek against Jungkook’s shoulder. He slips his hands from their intertwined fingers and runs them along his arms instead. Once he reaches his elbows, he changes his touch to his stomach instead, tracing the lines of his muscles with his fingertips. Goosebumps cover Jungkook’s skin instantly, soft purrs rumble in his chest.

“Do you want to spend time with me today?” Taehyung asks in a whisper.

“Do you have something in mind?”

“Do you want to paint in the forest? Perhaps have a picnic as well?”

“A picnic? It sounds romantic.”

“It is supposed to be romantic. We haven’t truly gone on a date ever since all of this calmed down.”

“Right”, Jungkook agrees, “mhm, a picnic in the forest sounds nice.”

“Really? Do you truly want to spend time with me?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

“O-on a date?”

“Yes, that sounds nice.”

Taehyung exhales shakily and presses a kiss to Jungkook’s shoulder.

“I am so happy to hear that”, he whispers and breaks away from Jungkook, “I am calling dips on the bathroom.”

Jungkook chuckles, “alright, do your thing.”

Taehyung keeps the bedroom door open, singing to himself on his way to the bathroom.

Jungkook tidies the room a little. He makes the bed, puts away yesterday’s clothing and cleans the clutter on the bedside tables. He takes the empty glasses of water and makes his way downstairs with a melody on his lips. The shower runs and Taehyung sings happily.

The downstairs is empty, but Jungkook doesn’t worry. He knows where you and Yoongi are and your grandparents are definitely in the garden. Jungkook thinks that it is so lovely that you got your passion for gardening from them.

Jungkook turns on the radio and begins making the picnic. He eats a slice of raspberry pie for strength and sips from his cup of coffee every now and then. Food tastes so good when it actually nourishes the body. Jungkook really loves it.

Taehyung comes downstairs when Jungkook has already finished two dishes.

“You tidied the bedroom.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung. He is wearing beige dress pants and a white linen shirt with strings in the front to close the collar. He has his sleeves down and golden rings on his fingers. His dark hair is styled.

“I did”, Jungkook confirms.

“Are you making breakfast?” Taehyung asks and comes behind him to hug his waist.

“No. I’m preparing the picnic. I had raspberry pie for breakfast. I saved you a slice as well.”

“I see, thank you”, Taehyung says, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Jungkook’s neck.

“Tae, behave”, Jungkook warns and wiggles out of the hug gently.

“I am. I just wanted to smell you”, Taehyung defends himself.

Jungkook scoffs in amusement, placing the cooking towel aside.

“I’m washing up now. Take out the bread once the timer’s done and check on the potatoes. Don’t touch anything you have no idea how to cook.”

“You are mean”, Taehyung calls after him.

Jungkook chuckles. The door closes moments later.

Taehyung looks around the kitchen. Jungkook prepared sandwiches with various fillings, as well as rice rolls with vegetables from the garden. He also has potatoes for a salad boiling happily and seems to bake small baguettes in the oven.

Taehyung straightens up after looking into the oven, scratching his head in thinking. He has no idea what he could contribute to the picnic. He can’t cook and the one thing he can make - sandwiches – Jungkook already made.

Perhaps. Taehyung’s eyes light up. Perhaps he could try his luck with pancakes again. He must be better at them these days. He just must.

With this glorious plan in mind, Taehyung begins his contribution to the picnic.

Jungkook hurries downstairs.

“What’s burning?” he asks worriedly.

Taehyung has his sleeves rolled up by now and his hair dishevelled just a little.

“Don’t look.”

“Tae, what did you do?”

“Don’t come here.”

Jungkook reaches his side, looking at the stack of burned pancakes. He looks at them with big eyes.

“How can you burn them so bad?” he gasps.

“I swear I did everything right. I worked so diligently on getting them golden”, Taehyung says and pouts, “I’m sorry. I know you told me not to do anything, but I still did.”

Jungkook laughs, patting his butt gently.

“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t apologise. At least you tried. And look, you made five nice ones. That’s an improvement.”

Taehyung’s eyes light up, “that’s right. I did manage to make five nice ones.”

“Good job, Tae”, Jungkook praises and pats his butt, “also, you took out the bread and potatoes at the right time.”

“I even cut them. Can you see?”

“I can. Good job. They’re cut very nicely.”

Taehyung scrunches his nose.

“Thank you so much.”

“Now can you get me the salt and pepper? We need to marinate this salad. It’s gonna be so good.”

“Yes, of course. I can get you spices”, Taehyung says and begins working with sparkly eyes.

Jungkook studies him. He looks so happy and content now that he can be helpful. Jungkook smiles. He likes seeing Taehyung like this.

“Should I put them in already?”

“Yes, go careful. We don’t want it to be too salty.”

Taehyung goes careful, sticking out his tongue in concentration. He sprinkles salt over the potatoes, looking at Jungkook once his fingers are empty.

“Was that good?”

“That was perfect.”

Taehyung’s eyes sparkle.

“Go ahead and put the pepper in it as well, I’m getting the stuff for the sauce.”

Taehyung sings to the radio as he works. Jungkook listens to him with warmth in his chest. He is always the one others take care of, others baby and coddle and try to help. And while Jungkook likes being coddled, he also sometimes really needs to feel as if he could guide someone, as if he is the one being needed. He really likes what he has going on with Taehyung right now.

He returns with his hands full, looking into the salad.

“And?” Taehyung asks with expectant eyes.

“Looks good. You’ve done so well”, Jungkook praises.

“Thank you, wow”, Taehyung rests his head against Jungkook’s arm.

“Do you want to do something else?”

“Yes. I want to.”

“Why don’t you make a pretty charcuterie box? I’m sure someone like you can make pretty boxes.”

“Yes, oh I love charcuterie boards. Why a box?”

“So we can take it with us.”

“I see. I understand. I am going to make it very prettily. Just you wait, I will work very hard on it.”

“I’m sure you will.”

The two men share lovely silence like this. Jungkook finishes the potato salad and makes little wraps with a savoury filling, while Taehyung works hard on perfecting the charcuterie box. Jungkook also cuts up some fruits and puts grandma’s pie into a container, while Taehyung still works on his box. And as Jungkook fills the picnic basket with the food, cutlery and plates, Taehyung still works on his box.

Jungkook allows him this time, eventhough he feels stressed about it. He is someone who likes to move fast, work quickly and finish a lot in little time. He would have finished this box ages ago, but he knows not to comment on it. Taehyung needs it. Jungkook knows way better than one might assume, how important such small moments of quiet are to a traumatised mind.

So he lets Taehyung work and busies himself with cleaning instead. Taehyung doesn’t notice until Jungkook wipes the counter a little to his right. He lifts his head, looking around the room with big eyes.

“Am I taking too long?”

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

“I am sorry, I am almost finished. I, I am trying to get all the details right.”

“It’s okay, take your time. We still have all day”, Jungkook assures him with a chaste kiss to his jawline, “I’m gonna pop into the garden real quick and ask grandma if they have painting supplies. Take your time, okay?”

Taehyung nods his head, lowering it shyly afterwards.

“Take your time, okay? You’re doing well.”

Taehyung has finished his charcuterie box, as well as finished packing the basket when Jungkook comes back inside with your grandmother. They are talking about painting as she shows him what they could take for their picnic. Once all supplies are packed, they leave the cottage to finally go on their forest adventure. Jungkook carries everything because he finished putting on his shoes sooner than Taehyung. The latter jogs so he could open the garden door.

“Thank you”, Jungkook says and enters the forest path.

Taehyung closes the door, then does another light jog to catch up with Jungkook.

“Should I help you?” he offers, trying to reach for the heavy picnic basket.

“It’s okay, I can manage”, Jungkook says as he carries it with ease. It doesn’t feel heavy to him at all.

“At least let me carry the blanket.”

“It’s fine, seriously.”

“I feel so useless now.”

Jungkook ogles him and gives up with a sigh.

“Actually, maybe you could carry the blanket. It’s kinda heavy.”

“Of course”, Taehyung says and takes it happily. He throws it over his shoulder, giving Jungkook a shy grin. One Jungkook retorts.

Their adventure takes them past the lake you and Yoongi are spending time together at. The sound of someone cutting wood fills the air.

“So this is where she went”, Taehyung says.

“I guess so, yeah”, Jungkook agrees.

The two men slow down and linger in hiding. Yoongi is cutting wood while you are on the blanket reading a book. You and he seem peaceful and truly lost in your own little world.

“Should we join them?”

“No, let’s give them their privacy.”

“Very well. Then I want to walk along this path”, Taehyung says and takes Jungkook’s hand to lead him away.

Jungkook looks at their intertwined hands, then at Taehyung’s face. The latter seemed content and as if the sudden skinship felt normal to him.

“The sunlight looks especially beautiful on this path, wouldn’t you agree?” Taehyung asks, looking at Jungkook. He flusters and pulls his hand away, “forgive me.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong”, Jungkook assures him in a soft voice.

Taehyung lowers his eyes shyly and reaches for Jungkook’s hand again. Carefully. Just a brush of his fingers to test the waters. Pull away. Cheeks flush. Jungkook reaches out and intertwines his fingers with Taehyung, making the decision for him.

Taehyung meets his eyes and giggles.

“Mhm”, Jungkook lets out and smiles fondly. He never imagined Taehyung to be so timid, but he likes that he is. Normally, Jungkook is always the one who everyone wants to baby and call shy. So it is a very nice and welcome change to feel as if he could be the one babying someone.

He pulls Taehyung just a little closer, “you said the sunlight looks especially nice here?”

“Yes, I did. At least I think it does”, Taehyung says and flusters again, “ah please forgive me”, he gets out, breaking away to hide his face in his hands and giggles.

“What’s the matter?” Jungkook asks in a chuckle, nudging his arm playfully, “why are you so shy?”

“You make me shy”, Taehyung says and glances at Jungkook, “stop it, please.”

“Why? I’m not even doing anything”, Jungkook complains in laughter, stumbling slightly when Taehyung pushes at his arm softly.

“Yes, you do. You look at me.”

“Oh? I’m sorry then, it won’t happen again”, Jungkook teases and turns his head away.

Taehyung rounds him, but Jungkook turns his head away again.

“No”, Taehyung laughs and rounds Jungkook again only for the latter to turn his head away.

Taehyung whines and grasps for Jungkook, “don’t do that”, he is laughing.

Jungkook laughs as well, feeling happy when he can tease Taehyung one more time by turning his head away as the latter tries to get his eye contact.

“I didn’t mean it”, Taehyung says and cups Jungkook’s face. They fight each other gently. Jungkook could easily win in this realm, but he lets Taehyung win instead, laughing heartily at his adorable attempts to steal a glance.

Taehyung pulls him closer and rubs his nose against Jungkook’s. Jungkook keeps his eyes closed on purpose.

“Look at me, please”, Taehyung begs in a whisper as his fingers grasp Jungkook’s face almost desperately.

Jungkook opens his eyes.

Taehyung melts in giddiness instantly, scrunching his nose. He flutters his lashes prettily, letting out a shy giggle.

Jungkook chuckles softly and steals a kiss.

“You’re adorable right now”, he says, sliding his hand together with Taehyung’s and tugging softly, “come on, the basket’s getting heavy.”

Taehyung follows him with wobbly knees, hugging his arm. He rests his head against Jungkook’s shoulder, twisting the fabric of his shirt mindlessly. He hasn’t felt this way about a man in decades. He feels so entirely silly for it because in the grand scheme of endless time, he has only been with Jungkook for a very short time. Four months ever since Namjoon was defeated to be exact. The two men didn’t have enough time yet to truly get to know each other. Taehyung shouldn’t feel so strongly for him already, but he cannot help himself. Courting Jungkook makes Taehyung feel like a giddy, young queer again. He hasn’t felt this way in forever.

He keeps these thoughts to himself however because he fears to be too much. That is why he shied away from holding his hand or why he didn’t dare to call it a date. Yes, Jungkook is very openly and proudly bisexual, but Taehyung doesn’t want to be the reason why Jungkook could question it in a negative way. Taehyung truly feels that he could make him question it. Oh, he feels so insecure lately. As if he was a desperate, pitiful beggar asking for something he wasn’t worthy of.

Taehyung lifts his head from Jungkook’s shoulder, deepening the hand holding. He gulps. They begin again. The painful thoughts. They have been haunting him for months. They keep him up at night and steal his desire to be creative. The once beautiful sunlight is invisible to him right now. Jungkook’s hand in his’ feels like an act of pity. Taehyung wants to gulp, but can’t because his throat is beginning to constrict.

“Look. What do you think of this spot?” Jungkook asks and slows down on a small clearing. A patch of grass is stretching its green arms to the sunlight. Small forest flowers break up the lush green in specks of white and yellow. The spot is romantic and intimate. Jungkook knows that Taehyung will like it, so he gets worried when the latter doesn’t answer him.

He looks at him. Taehyung is staring into nothingness with glassy eyes. He is at the same time breathing heavily and not breathing at all.

“Tae?” Jungkook tries, giving his hand a gentle shake.

Taehyung doesn’t react, so Jungkook tries again.

“Taehyung?” he says a little louder.

When Taehyung doesn’t react again, he places himself in front of him and cups his cheeks.

“Taehyung, hey.”

Taehyung flinches, blinking his eyes a few times before they finally focus on Jungkook.

“I lost you for a moment. Are you okay?”

Taehyung grows embarrassed instantly, “please forgive me”, he whispers, trying to lower his head, but Jungkook doesn’t let him.

“Don’t apologise, you didn’t do anything wrong”, he assures him and brushes his thumb over his cheeks, “what’s the matter? Where did you go when I lost you?”

Taehyung shakes his head.

“You can’t say yet?”

He nods his head.

“Is it too painful?”

He hesitates, but nods his head in the end.

“I understand. Well, I’m glad that you’re back again and if you want to, you can talk to me.”

Taehyung nods his head and leans into Jungkook’s touch. He closes his eyes and sighs in relief.

“Now. What do you think of this spot? I think it’s very romantic”, Jungkook asks in order to take his mind off of whatever haunted him before.

Taehyung peels his eyes open and looks around for a bit. His face gains a happy glow as more and more seconds pass and soon, he carries an honest smile on his lips.

“I love this spot. It is so romantic”, he says.

“Yeah, right? Let’s set up our picnic here. Come on, teamwork. we’ll put down the blanket together.”

“Yes, alright”, Taehyung says with newly found joy in his voice.

The two men work perfectly together to prepare the picnic. They lay out the blanket, put down a few pillows and spread out the containers of food. Jungkook hands them to him and Taehyung opens the lids. It is truly perfect teamwork and only a few moments later, the picnic is set up.

Jungkook and Taehyung are facing each other because it naturally happened this way. Obviously, both men have their shoes off. Jungkook leans back on his hands and stretches out his legs.

“Ah”, he sighs contently, “that’s life. Picnics in nature are the best.”

He closes his eyes and tilts his face up into the sun. The light feels warm on his skin, filling him with a sense of freedom. He missed the sunlight so much. In the real world, he can’t stay in it for too long because his sensitive eyes would begin aching way too much. Jungkook really treasures the sunny moments here.

Taehyung watches him with a racing heart. Every single inch of his face is perfect. His jawline, his chin, his lips, his nose and forehead. The way his eyes look closed and how his cheeks are so soft. Because he is human in this world, Jungkook’s skin finally looks alive again. It is golden in the sunlight. Taehyung doesn’t exaggerate. He truly thinks that his skin looks as if made out of pure gold.

Taehyung reaches for his paper and gouache paints and begins sketching what he sees. Taehyung imagines everything in shapes of different colours when he paints. Humans, animals, nature and architecture are basically all just made up of different shapes in different colours to him, which he will replicate in his art until it shows what he sees. Taehyung thinks that Jungkook’s shapes are the most beautiful shapes he has seen in a man’s face in a long time.

Jungkook moves out of the position when he doesn’t hear Taehyung after a few moments. Worry is prominent in his eyes, he must have thought Taehyung was lost in painful thoughts again.

“What are you doing?” he asks him, studying him.

Taehyung lifts his head and widens his eyes.

“Please don’t move. I am not done yet.”

“Are you drawing me?”

“Yes, please move back to how you were before.”

Jungkook chuckles and does as he is told.

“Like this?”

“No, not like this. Tilt it further.”

Jungkook fixes his head.

“Like this?”

“No, wait”, Taehyung says and gets on his knees so he could reach for Jungkook’s head. He fixes his position in his stead, oblivious to Jungkook’s eyes on him until he goes to fix the strands of hair on his forehead. Jungkook is smiling at him, letting his pretty eyes run over his face. There is fond playfulness sparkling in them.

Taehyung flusters, pulling his fingers away.

“Forgive me. I didn’t ask for permission to touch”, he whispers, feeling mesmerised by Jungkook’s eyes.

Jungkook stays quiet, which makes Taehyung nervous.

“I am sorry”, he says, “really.”

Jungkook reaches up and brushes the back of his hand over Taehyung’s chin.

“You’re so handsome”, he whispers.

“What?” Taehyung breathes, feeling lightheaded.

“You’re so handsome”, Jungkook says and smiles, tracing his thumb over Taehyung’s lips.

They part. His eyes lower. His cheeks flush.

“Oh god”, Taehyung presses out and falls back with his face hidden in his hands, “please stop it.”

“Why? You’re normally not that shy.”

“Because you aren’t like this normally.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying. I’m just as I always am.”

“No you are not, you are looking at me.”

“Why am I not allowed to look at you?” Jungkook laughs and closes the distance between them to overwhelm Taehyung. He pushes him to his back, grabbing his wrists to pin them above his head.

“Ah”, Taehyung moans softly, having to gasp for air afterwards.

Jungkook is pinning him down, staring so deeply into his eyes, Taehyung feels dizzy.

“Mhm? Why am I not allowed to look at you?” Jungkook whispers in a slight rasp.

“I, I”, Taehyung stutters, but can’t think of anything to say.

Jungkook chuckles and places a kiss on Taehyung’s jawline. The latter arches his back and sighs, parting his legs for something which never comes.

“You’re so cute, Tae”, Jungkook whispers and breaks away to return to the pose.

Taehyung needs a few moments to function again. He lies still on the blanket, staring at the sky with a racing heart. The spot Jungkook kissed is tingling uncontrollably, his stomach is spilling over with butterflies. He is done for, isn’t he?

In the past, Taehyung was the one to fluster Jungkook, to steal his breath and make him malfunction with just a touch. Not anymore, not when true feelings are involved. Nothing but a look is already enough to mess up his thoughts, a touch truly renders him useless. Taehyung is so done for.

“Are you going to paint me?” Jungkook asks.

“Forgive me, I”, Taehyung sits up and tries to fix his hair. His fingers shake a little as he reaches for his brush, “ye-yes I am. Please uhm, please hold still.”

Jungkook chuckles, “you’re so cute”, he says and closes his eyes.

They spent quiet like this, but it is never truly silent. The song of birds, the humming of insects and the rushing of the wind keeps them company. Taehyung’s brush makes a faint sound as he guides it over the paper. It doesn’t take him long to finish his sketch. He has been painting for more than eight hundred years after all.

“You are allowed to move again.”

“Yeah? Did I turn out well?” Jungkook asks and tries to look.

“No peeking”, Taehyung says and moves the paper away, “I want to finish it first.”

“Alright, if you say so”, Jungkook chuckles and sits back. He shifts his eyes to the picnic, “you don’t mind if I start eating, do you?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Mhhm nice. Oh all of that looks so yummy. Mhm what should I take first? Uh gimbap”, Jungkook mumbles to himself as he fills his plate with a variety of foods.

Once his plate is finished, he prepares one for Taehyung as well. He places it next to him, laughing when he moves the paper away panickedly.

“I wasn’t tryna peek, just made you food.”

“Oh. Thank you”, Taehyung says with a blush.

“Enjoy”, Jungkook says and pecks his pink cheek, before sitting back to begin eating.

He does so with his eyes scanning over the scenic view. The sunlight breaks through the leaf canopy perfectly so that the sun rays are visible. There are small bugs and butterflies fluttering in the lights.

“I think I wanna paint the forest”, Jungkook says and busies himself by setting up his painting station. He makes breaks for snacking every now and then.

“The forest is a wonderful motive”, Taehyung murmurs with his mouth stuffed with food. He truly enjoys the taste. Jungkook is a very talented cook.

“Yeah, I agree. Have you been painting for long?”

“Yes, all my life. Even when I was still human, I painted in my spare time.”

“Damn, then you’ve been painting for forever.”

“I truly enjoy it. Painting, or art in general, brings me great peace of mind. I find myself truly zone out whenever I create art.”

“I get that. My brain sorta shuts off too when I paint.”

“So you paint as well?”

“I do, yeah. Just not as passionately as you.”

“I see. Did you paint as a human as well?”

“No, not really. I was more of a drawing kinda guy back then. I always loved the sketches I did, but hated colouring them. I honestly still do. I prefer to draw than to paint.”

“I see. I really love drawing as well, but I prefer painting.”

“It suits you.”

“What does that mean?” Taehyung asks, meeting Jungkook’s eyes.

“Just that painting suits you”, he smiles, “it’s a compliment.”

“Oh”, he flusters, looking away, “thank you.”

Jungkook feels warm fondness in his chest for Taehyung. He is genuinely so cute when he flusters.

“Okay, idea. What are your top five art forms?” he asks because he wants to keep talking to him.

“My top five art forms?”

“Yes, painting, sculpting, stuff like that. What are your top five? They don’t have to be in order, just what do you love the most?”

“No one ever asked me that before.”

“I thought it could be fun. Normal date questions can be so boring.”

Taehyung flusters. A date. He is truly on a date. He almost forgets about his answer because of how giddy he feels.

“Well then, uhm”, he begins, “I would say that painting is my most favourite, I enjoy pottery a great deal and the entire process of painting the pieces. I would also consider embroidery to be one of my favourites.”

“Embroidery?”

“Yes, I like it.”

“That’s so cool. I never tried embroidery before, but I think it’s such an impressive art skill.”

Taehyung studies Jungkook’s features. Jungkook doesn’t hate him, does he? He is actually interested in him. Taehyung doesn’t need to feel like a pitiful beggar because there is nothing he needs to beg for with Jungkook. He gives him attention and interest willingly. Taehyung cannot put his feelings into words yet, but what Jungkook is doing right now feels healing to Taehyung.

“It is so much fun. I really love it”, Taehyung says and takes a deep breath. The air filling his lungs feels so good all of a sudden.

“You have to show me how to do it one day. I would love to learn.”

“Yes. Yes, I can teach you”, Taehyung says, bouncing on the spot excitedly.

Jungkook grins, “awesome. I’ll take you up on your offer then. Now back to the question, give me two more.”

Jungkook is so interested in him. Holy fuck, Taehyung feels like finally diving up for air after an endless battle under water. He talks with his heart racing addictingly in his chest.

“I would also say that I enjoy writing poetry a great deal and my fifth thing would be” he thinks for a moment, “does music count?”

“Of course it does.”

“Then I would say that I truly enjoy music. Making it or writing it. I love it.”

“These are good answers. They fit you all so well.”

Taehyung blushes. They fit him. His favourite art fits him.

“Thank you”, he whispers with a racing pulse. This is what being human is about. Racing heartbeats because of love.

“Now ask me a question. Let’s make a game out of it. We take turns asking questions.”

“Oh, I love this idea. I shall think of a question.”

“Don’t be shy. Every question is allowed. Even dirty ones.”

Taehyung blushes, “don’t say that.”

Jungkook laughs.

Taehyung takes in the sound and puts it into his memory drawer of favourite things. He studies Jungkook for a moment. He wants to get the first question right. Jungkook’s first question was so perfect that Taehyung doesn’t want to disappoint. Jungkook bites off from his sandwich. Food! Taehyung has the first question!

“Have you been cooking for long?”

“Yes, I liked to occasionally cook as a human, then had to give it up for a while because of my curse, but when I moved in with Seokjin and Hoseok joined us, I picked it up again.”

“That is so wonderful. I never learned how to cook.”

“I can teach you.”

“Oh? Oh no”, Taehyung shakes his head and laughs, “it’s rotten work.”

“Not to me.”

Taehyung stops laughing. He meets Jungkook’s eyes. The latter smiles sweetly.

“Not to me it’s not. I can teach you”, he says.

Something inside Taehyung snaps. Or shifts into its rightful place. Whatever the case, Taehyung cannot take the feelings in his chest and so he acts.

He closes the distance between him and Jungkook, grasping his face to pull him into a kiss. A kiss so passionate he feels tears well up in his eyes.

“Mhm”, Jungkook lets out in surprise, closing his eyes after a few moments of baffled blinking.

He laughs into the kiss, combing his fingers through Taehyung’s hair. The kiss is so passionate. So desperate. Filled with such urgent pleas. Jungkook soon feels his composure falter. He was never kissed like this before. He was kissed with passion, with desire, with desperation, with warm love and adoration, but he was never kissed with such suffocating urgency before. He was never kissed as if it was the only remedy to an ache unknown, as if his lips carried the only spark of life a dying flame clings to.

When Taehyung breaks the kiss, Jungkook feels just a little out of it. Not in a sexual way, but in a deeply emotional way. His lips still taste his kiss, his scalp still feels the paths his fingers took.

“Can I be yours?” Taehyung whispers shakily, resting his forehead against Jungkook’s.

“Tae…”

“Please. I, I know I am rushing it. I know that I am too much and that I am not easiest to like, but-”

Jungkook places his finger against Taehyung’s lips. Taehyung exhales shakily.

“Tae, why are you asking this? You’re already mine.”

“I am?”

Jungkook nods his head, breaking away from him just so he can cup his cheek. Taehyung gazes up at him, holding his breath. The adoration in Jungkook’s eyes is honest and goes so very deep.

“You’ve been mine for months. Do you think that I see this as a casual fling?”

“I don’t know”, Taehyung whispers.

“Well, I don’t. I don’t do flings, I do it seriously or I don’t do it at all. You’ve been mine for months now.”

“Oh”, Taehyung lets out and overwhelmed by his feelings, he falls around Jungkook’s neck in a tight hug.

Jungkook chuckles fondly, hugging him back.

“I was so worried.”

“I could tell. Don’t be anymore, I want this to be serious just as much as you do.”

Taehyung lets out a relieved laugh and buries his face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck. He sobs softly afterwards, grabbing a bundle of his hair to hold it for support. He needs it. He would be lost without it.

“Hey, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?” Jungkook asks worriedly.

“I haven’t felt like this for a man in decades. I feel so young again. So, so…so…I feel so alive.”

“You’re so sweet, Tae. I feel really happy as well.”

Taehyung sits back on his feet, taking Jungkook’s hands. His glassy eyes never leave his’, racing between them in adoring obsession.

“I love being queer when I can feel this way.”

“You do?”

Taehyung nods his head, “I witnessed many phases of humanity and how it handled us. Most weren’t good. But the way you make me feel makes me so happy to be who I am.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Oh yes, I am so happy. I am queer”, he spills tears, smiling, “I am queer and I am free and I, I”, he falters, furrowing his brows as his lower lip trembles.

“Go on”, Jungkook encourages him in a whisper, thumb caressing his knuckles slowly.

“I am in love with you. I am so deeply in love with you that I could fill galaxies with it. This isn’t desire. I could go without sleeping with you if that is what you asked. I could miss out on sex. I could. I, I truly could be-because what makes me happiest is being with you.”

Taehyung fights for air before he continues.

“You have no idea what this means. I live for sex, I enjoy it, I desire it, I need it. But if we never made love again, I wouldn’t miss it because I could still be with you. I love you so much that I finally know what it is to love.”

Silence. Taehyung is panting for air. Jungkook studies his face.

“God Tae”, he says “you really held back on a lot, didn’t you?”

Taehyung shies away. His chest tightens. He was too much. Came off as overbearing and as if he wanted to bury Jungkook in love.

“I’m sorry”, he chokes out.

“No, god I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a negative way. I’m happy that you are letting it out. I wanna be someone you can share your feelings with safely”, Jungkook says and tilts his head up so their eyes reconnect, “okay?”

Taehyung nods his head, feeling the warmth return to his chest.

“I’m happy to be queer as well, Tae. I grew up in a very conservative, queerphobic time, so to be surrounded by people like us and to have the opportunity to love freely, makes me so happy to be queer.”

Taehyung agrees with a nod of his head.

“And I love spending time with you as well. You are cute and gentle and you have a good heart. I know you’re older than me, but I want to protect you and take care of you. It makes my heart race and I know it’s because I’m falling in love with you, I can feel that I am.”

“You do? You really do?”

“I do”, Jungkook smiles, “I don’t lie about love. If I say something, I mean it.”

“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and hugs him, “I’m so happy.”

The two men hug for quite a while. They settle back in their places after the hug, but sit a lot closer together. Their knees are touching at all times, sometimes Taehyung or Jungkook reaches over to caress the other’s leg. Taehyung can’t stop sneaking glances at Jungkook and neither can the latter. It feels good to know that the other felt the same.

“Were you in a queer relationship before our poly family?” Taehyung asks and picks his paint brush back up. He can barely paint. He is so giddy that his hand is shaking in a positive way.

“No”, Jungkook shakes his head, “the only relationship I had before our poly family was with my human sweetheart. Otherwise, I wasn’t in any kind of relationship before our poly family. I tried not to kill people by staying away from them.”

“I see. I am sorry. Life must be so lonely as a Ripper or Glutton.”

“It really fucking is”, Jungkook says and despite his words, smiles at Taehyung, “but I’m not lonely anymore. I have our family. My past was sad, but my present isn’t anymore.”

Taehyung smiles, “that is so good to hear. You deserve it.”

“Thanks. Yeah”, Jungkook says and looks at his painting. He looks just a little shy. Shy, but also content.

Taehyung studies his face for a little while, enjoying the way his heart races in his chest. He reaches out and caresses his leg.

“So you didn’t even try anything with Hoseok or Seokjin?” he asks.

Jungkook lowers his paint brush, looking at the trees as he thinks.

“Not really? Not actual sex at least. I was too out of control, I would have just ended up ripping their heads off.”

“I see. How terrible.”

Jungkook agrees with a nod of his head.

“We did cuddle a lot, but that’s not queer, that’s just being really good friends.”

“Of course. Good friends can cuddle just as well as partners can.”

“Exactly”, Jungkook smiles fondly, “I love them both so much. They saved me. I think I would have killed myself eventually if I had never met them.”

Taehyung furrows his brows. Jungkook meets his worried eyes. He touches the side of his neck awkwardly.

“I know, heavy stuff. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. Please don’t ever apologise for that”, Taehyung insists, shaking his head, “I understand. You had no support system, killed against your will and had to cope with it alone. Of course your situation drove you to consider suicide. I am so happy that you held out for as long as you did, so you could meet them. This world would have been a sad one without you in it. You are such a strong person, you truly are.”

Jungkook lowers his eyes, touching his chest.

“Well fuck, nobody ever called me a strong person for this. It took so much strength to keep going, so uhm, yeah. Thanks. Seriously, thanks.”

Taehyung holds Jungkook’s hand gently.

“I was truthful”, he whispers.

“I know”, Jungkook whispers as well, lifting his eyes.

Taehyung gazes at him, giving him a shy smile the moment their eyes meet. Jungkook leans in to place a soft kiss on Taehyung’s lips. The latter receives it with a fluttering heart. Jungkook pulls back afterwards, giving him a grin. He picks his paintbrush back up and continues painting.

Taehyung looks at him for just a second longer before continuing his painting as well.

“So who was your first ever queer experience?”

“Yoongi.”

“Indeed?”

“Yeah. God, it’s so embarrassing to think about because I was so out of control back then”, Jungkook says as he has to laugh.

“Really? Tell me about it”, Taehyung snickers as well.

“God, it’s so embarrassing. We didn’t even try a lot. He just touched my cock and I already spiralled. I called him a fucker and tried to rip his jugular out.”

“Oh heavens.”

“Yeah, he had to use force to pin me down and then used his compulsion to calm me down. I kept snapping at him and growling like a fucking idiot. I was such a mess back then”, Jungkook says and laughs.

Taehyung joins him, staring at his lips the entire time.

“That does indeed sound like a very wild time.”

“It was. It really was. God”, Jungkook snorts in amusement, “I felt so bad afterwards and kept crying and beating myself up about it, but Yoongi stayed calm and comforted me. That’s why I can laugh about it these days. It could have become another bad memory, but I look back at it fondly.”

“Of course. It shows how far you have come.”

Jungkook meets Taehyung’s eyes in surprise. He understands.

“Exactly. Yeah, that’s right”, he breathes.

Taehyung smiles shyly, lowering his eyes at his painting. He feels giddy when Jungkook looks at him. He really does.

Jungkook studies his face for a few more moments. He starts to understand what Taehyung means. He hasn’t really felt this way about another man ever and it is a very good feeling. He feels really young and giddy this way.

“Did you always know that you weren’t hetero?” Taehyung asks.

“Mhm, I don’t know. I don’t think so”, Jungkook says, looking at the trees as he thinks, “I honestly felt really happy in my heterosexuality when I was human and I also didn’t really consider other men as attractive. Of course I could see that some were handsome, but I wasn’t attracted to them.”

“I see. So you discovered yourself when you were already turned.”

“I did, yeah. And you? You told me once that you first thought that you were just gay.”

“I told you that?”

“Yeah, in the car. After we hate fucked.”

Taehyung laughs, Jungkook does as well.

“You remember this all this time?”

“Of course I do.”

“Oh”, Taehyung says and lowers his eyes.

Jungkook watches him with growing worry in his chest. He keeps making himself small with each confirmation that Jungkook feels the same. As if he didn’t want to believe that he was worthy of affection.

“Is it my turn to ask you a question?” Jungkook asks him.

Taehyung nods his head, still staring at his hands.

“What troubles you lately?”

Taehyung looks up in shock.

“This is your question?”

Jungkook nods his head.

Taehyung looks away. He stays silent for a long time, losing himself deep in his thoughts. What isn’t troubling him? How does he put something into words which he doesn’t understand either? He can’t find an answer in the end.

“Can you please ask something else?”

“That’s okay, I can do that”, Jungkook assures him, “how many queer relationships were you in before our poly family?”

Taehyung relaxes again.

“Serious or casual?”

“Both.”

“Oh heavens, casual way too many to count. I am quite frankly, such a whore.”

Jungkook laughs, Taehyung does as well.

“As for serious, I would say that I had four serious relationships before our poly family.”

“Four you say? Are they still alive?”

“No, they were all human. I loved them all very much. Their loss ached very deeply.”

“I can imagine. I’m so sorry, Tae.”

“I have healed from it”, he assures him and leans in to kiss him.

Jungkook lets it happen with a fluttering heart. He gazes when the kiss breaks.

“What was that for?” he whispers

“Because I feel so happy to be with you”, Taehyung whispers.

“I see. Then I gotta steal one too, don’t I?” he says and takes Taehyung’s cheeks to use them as leverage to push him onto the blanket. Taehyung falls with a laugh.

They shove and push the picnic and paintings aside, losing themselves in the kiss seconds later. They will be lost in it for a long time. They will use this time in the sweetest, most healing way possible with tangled limbs and dancing lips, mixing in innocent touches and sighs of each other’s names.

And they will make each other feel good. It will feel so incredibly good to them that their hearts will beat in sync through it all. And it will be innocent. It will be the sweet, innocent exchange of touches between two people who are so freely themselves when they are together.

The sun is in the midst of setting already when Taehyung feels the need to share what had burdened him for months. A blanket cocoons them in, keeping their bodies warm in the sinking temperatures. They are on their backs, watching the sky change colours. Jungkook’s body is touching Taehyung’s, sharing warmth this way. Jungkook has his arm stretched to the side, Taehyung is resting his head on it.

“Can you keep secrets?” Taehyung whispers.

“I tend to forget a lot of what other people tell me, so I can definitely keep a secret because I’ll forget it again.”

Taehyung laughs loudly, craning his neck to look at Jungkook.

“I mean it”, Jungkook snickers.

“I know, I just thought that it was funny.”

“Yeah, I know”, Jungkook grins, “now what’s up? What secret do you wanna tell me?”

Taehyung rolls his head back into a more comfortable position. Despite his muscles, Jungkook’s arm is very comfortable to rest on.

“I think it is more of an empty talk about my feelings than an actual secret.”

“That’s okay too. I can listen.”

“I sometimes dream of being controlled. Of being told what to do, how to act, where to sit or stand or lie, what to wear. I dream of it. Dream of having every single aspect of my life dictated.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung with slightly widened eyes, while the latter is too lost in his rant to notice.

“And the thing is? I haven’t figured out whether it is a trauma thing or not. For many, many centuries I didn’t have freedom and lived under constant mind control. I had someone controlling me, but he hurt me as well. A lot.”

“It’s okay”, Jungkook whispers and holds Taehyung’s hand. He heard the tremble in his voice and needed to be there for him.

Taehyung speaks easier with Jungkook’s support.

“I shouldn’t want to be controlled again, but I still dream of it. I truly do. I want to put myself into the hands of another and let them decide what is best for me. Is this wrong of me?”

“You asked me too quickly. I need to think about it for a little.”

“No, please. This was just a rhetorical question, please don’t tell me your stance on it.”

“Why not? It could be good.”

“And if it is not? I cannot bear to be ridiculed, I am not stable enough for it.”

Jungkook looks at Taehyung, the latter can’t bear to meet his eyes.

“Are you currently having a hard time?” Jungkook asks quietly.

“I think I might”, Taehyung confesses, “it hasn’t been that long since our situation has truly calmed down and I feel very lost these days.”

“You do?”

Taehyung nods his head, “my life is so different to how it once was. All of our lives are. In the past, Yoongi rarely left his wing, let alone conversed with us, but these days he is spending time with us and talking with us. You, ___, Seokjin, Hoseok and Emma weren’t part of my life either and suddenly you live with us. Peace was never truly lasting for Jimin and me, but now it is our new reality. I am aware that our dynamic changed when we travelled the lands in search for Namjoon, but I feel like we didn’t have time yet to truly bond.”

“We didn’t have time yet to make sense of our situation.”

“Exactly. We didn’t have time yet to truly let it set in. At least this is how I feel. I feel so lost because everything changed so much and now I do not know what to do. How do I live freely? How do I find happiness? How do I…”

Taehyung looks away, touching his chest.

“How do I heal?” he whispers.

“God Tae”, Jungkook whispers and rolls to his side. He gets on his elbow, closing the distance to Taehyung to place a tender kiss on his temple. He hugs his head gently, massaging his scalp slowly and keeping his lips against his temple.

“I do not know how to live my life now that I am free and I think that it gives me a hard time. I am restless and nervous and scared to settle. What if I settle and then something ruins it again? What if I make peace with the fact that I am free only to be captured again? What if I allow myself to heal only to be hurt again? What if”, Taehyung gulps, reaching for Jungkook’s chest, “Jungkook, I think I might struggle more than I initially thought. My heart is beating uncomfortably. I don’t like this sensation, my throat is so tight.”

“You’re safe. You’re in the beginning of a panic attack, but you’re safe”, Jungkook comforts him, rubbing his chest in slow circles, “try to follow my breathing. I know it’s difficult, but you’re not gonna die. Promise.”

Taehyung listens to Jungkook’s comforting words and finds healing in breathing with him. He felt smothered by his thoughts. Small, fragile and incapable of carrying their weight, but breathing helps. His pulse, which once tortured him, becomes bearable again. The rope once tightening around his throat dissolves again.

“There we go”, Jungkook caresses his cheek, “you did it. I’m so proud of you.”

Taehyung closes his eyes and leans into Jungkook’s palm.

“How did you know what was happening to me?”

“Experience. I didn’t have the easiest life as a human once I was drafted. I had a lot of panic attacks in the barracks and the trenches and I helped many of my comrades as well.”

“I see.”

“That’s why I’m so sorry that you feel this way. I understand how you feel so well.”

“You do?”

“Of course. When something changes you as a person as drastically as trauma does, it is difficult to relearn yourself. And it’s only natural to feel restless and lost in calm moments when your life consisted of pain and trauma for so long.”

Jungkook brushes Taehyung’s tears away.

“I know that our traumas aren’t the same, but I also felt like you feel right now when I first had a holiday from the frontlines. Life back home was relatively normal, nobody changed drastically and I should have found peace in resting, but I couldn’t. I had changed. I woke up screaming, crying and throwing up from my nightmares, every loud sound felt like torture to me, my sweetheart’s affection made me uncomfortable and I kept shaking even in calm moments. My family had no idea how to help me and I had no idea how to live a peaceful life anymore because peace felt like mockery to me after everything I went through at the frontlines.”

“I’m so sorry. Oh Kook, war is terrible. I hate that men never learn. It shouldn’t happen. It never should have. What an awful way to solve disagreements. What an awful, inhuman way.”

“I agree”, Jungkook says and rests his forehead against Taehyung’s, “but what I want to say by sharing this part of me, is that you’re not alone. Our traumas may have different origins, but I understand how lost you feel in the peace and how anxious this makes you.”

Taehyung whimpers softly, spilling tears against his will. Jungkook wipes them, keeping close to Taehyung.

“It gets easier, I promise. I never officially returned from the war because I became a Ripper before that, but I still experienced trauma afterwards and when I began to settle with Seokjin, I felt just as lost again because peace wasn’t an option for so long. It gets easier with time, I promise.”

“How long did it take you?”

“A few years.”

“Oh”, Taehyung gets out and sobs softly, “years.”

“It could be different for you. I wasn’t in control back, so obviously I didn’t have absolute peace. But your situation is different and maybe it won’t take you years to be comfortable in the peace. Oh Tae, it’s okay. Let it all out”, Jungkook says and works diligently to wipe every tear Taehyung spills.

“I don’t know why I am crying.”

“It’s okay. That’s all part of the healing. Let it happen.”

And so Taehyung cries. He cries in grief for the person he could have been if he had never gone through hell. He cries in relief from being freed of this hell. And he cries in sweet realisation that he wasn’t alone in this, that he had Jungkook offering him comfort. He cries for many reasons and it felt good to do so.

His thoughts are clearer after the cry, his chest not that heavy.

Jungkook changed positions by now, resting on his side propped up on his elbow and with his hand drying his tears.

Taehyung rolls to his side, looking up at him. He stopped crying many breaths ago. Jungkook still cradles his cheek and brushes his thumb under his eyes slowly.

“I feel better”, Taehyung whispers.

“That’s good to hear. You did really well. I know crying sucks, but it’s so healthy for you. Don’t ever hold it back.”

“It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

“That’s understandable. Come to me whenever you feel like crying. I’ll pay you company as you do.”

“What if it happens often?”

“Then I’ll pay you company until often turns into occasionally and sometimes until it finally turns into rarely.”

“Oh.”

Jungkook brushes his thumb over Taehyung’s temple.

“You’re not a burden, Tae. You aren’t too much or overbearing. You never were and never will be. Not for me and not for our family.”

Taehyung places his shaky hands on Jungkook’s chest.

“Can you control me?” he gets out.

“I’m sorry?”

“Please can you control me? I don’t know what to do, but you do. Can you be the one to control me?”

Jungkook’s eyes soften.

“Oh Tae”, he whispers, “no, I won’t. You will always be free with me.”

“Please. I’m begging you. I don’t know what to do.”

“Then I’ll be with you as you walk the unknown path.”

“Oh.”

“I won’t promise you anything like control, because I don’t ever want to take advantage of you, but one thing you can always count on is me. I’ll carry burdens which are too heavy for you, I’ll show you the way and you can always lean on me, okay?”

Taehyung nods his head.

“Okay”, Jungkook says and kisses Taehyung’s forehead.

Taehyung exhales shakily, chasing the affection with closed eyes.

“Sweetheart”, Jungkook whispers and kisses his lips gently. He had no ulterior motive behind the kiss, no ill intent. But Taehyung is fragile and confused, lost in a situation he knows not to handle healthily.

Taehyung whimpers into the kiss, he chases it, deepens it with trembling lips. His hands slide to Jungkook’s small waist, his breath is instantly quickened, his heart races unbearably. He kneads Jungkook’s waist, touches it, grasps it. He needs to make sure he stays. He needs to stay please. Taehyung whimpers again, lips shaking against Jungkook’s, and then he slides his hands under his shirt to feel his naked skin.

Jungkook breaks the kiss with a gentle “hey”, followed by a chuckled, “what are you doing?”

“I’m yours, please I’m yours so, so claim me.”

“Claim you?”

Taehyung pushes at Jungkook’s chest to gain space. The younger man lets him, gawking at him in confusion. Taehyung hooks his fingers in his own shirt and pulls it over his head.

“Tae, no wait-”

He is shirtless, panting heavily but his eyes carried discomfort Taehyung wasn’t even aware that he felt it.

“God Tae, what are you doing?” Jungkook gasps.

“Take me, I-I can serve you well”, Taehyung stutters, presenting himself in an arch of his back. There are tears in his eyes and fragility in his voice.

Jungkook studies his naked torso for a second, exhaling deeply. He takes Taehyung’s discarded shirt and unbuttons it.

Taehyung puts his hands together and presents them to Jungkook, thinking that he wants to tie him up with the shirt.

But Jungkook doesn’t. Jungkook cradles his hands and holds them one by one as he slides the sleeves back on. He smoothes out the shirt on his back and closes it again in the front.

“I don’t understand. Do you not want me?”

“I do, just not like this.”

“Is it because I’m human? I, I can make myself pretty, I-”

“No Tae”, Jungkook cups his cheek, silencing his anxious words, “no Tae” he whispers, “you’re beautiful. So incredibly beautiful.”

Taehyung lowers his eyes. Jungkook continues with the buttons.

“But you seem unstable to me.”

Taehyung meets Jungkook’s eyes again.

“Consent is more than just believing someone’s words. It’s about reading the situation and I can tell that you don’t really know what you actually want right now.”

Taehyung sniffles in order not to cry. It has been a long time since someone saw him.

“Let’s drink something for now, okay?” Jungkook suggests, rubbing his upper arms soothingly.

Taehyung nods his head.

“Okay. Do you want lemonade?”

“Yes”, he whispers.

“Okay. Me too. I think lemonade is really yummy. You?” Jungkook asks, preparing the fruity drink.

“Me too”, Taehyung whispers, accepting the cup from Jungkook.

Jungkook clings cups with him, making him giggle and lift his shoulders to his ears in shyness.

Jungkook smiles at him, draping his arm around his waist.

“I like hearing you giggle, Tae. You’re really cute.”

“I am?”

Jungkook kisses his cheek, “you are.”

Taehyung whimpers and snuggles his face into his neck, squeezing his waist tightly.

“Thank you.”

“It’s the truth. You’re cute.”

“No. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For stopping it.”

Jungkook furrows his brows, tightening his jaw. How many people ignored the signs and took advantage of Taehyung’s unstable attempts to “serve”? He shouldn’t thank him. Not for something that should be the bare minimum. Jungkook is a very protective person. Once he loves a person (in whatever form that love comes) he will literally burn the world for them. He feels numbing anger right now, wanting to hurt whoever took advantage of Taehyung. But he doesn’t let it show for Taehyung’s sake, speaking softly with the mentally fragile man.

“You’ll always be safe with me, Tae.”

“I know”, his voice is shaky as he speaks.

“It’ll never change. You’re safe and I’m gonna keep you safe.”

Taehyung exhales shakily and while it was shaking, it carried the first indicator of stableness in it. Just a little, just enough that Jungkook knows that all Taehyung really needs right now is a shoulder to lean on and someone being gentle with his words.

“I don’t think I enjoy being dominant as much as I thought I did”, Taehyung confesses quietly.

Jungkook tries to glance at him as best as possible.

“Not in a sexual context, but in general. I crave to be taken care of. I ache for it.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are in a vulnerable mental state. It’s okay to want to be taken care of.”

Taehyung lifts his head, looking up at Jungkook with glassy eyes.

“Will you take care of me? Please? At least this?” he asks – begs – him.

“Of course Tae, I’ll take care of you.”

“Oh god”, Taehyung chokes out and buries his face in Jungkook’s chest, “this felt so good to hear.”

Jungkook closes his arms around him, massaging his scalp slowly.

“Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Yeah, let’s stay like this for a while.”

#taehyung romance #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #jungkook romance #jungkook fluff #jungkook x taehyung #taehyung x jungkook #bts romance #bts fluff #bangtan romance #bangtan fluff #bangtan x reader #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #yoongi x reader #fanfic: caerula luna

61 notes · View notes

misguidedasgardian · 2 years ago

Text

I need to (11)

... Run myself against you

MASTERLIST

I need to… rub myself against you

Summary: Jealousy Jealousy

Pairings: Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cursing, underage drinking in some countries, alcohol consumption, implied use of other drugs, party peopleeee

Wordcount: 3.8 k

Notes: I’m introducing new players! Muahaha, and again, all is fair in this, characters from GOT or HotD, all in one, all in!, I did not check this, it like 5 am where I live and i didn't have the strength

You wanted to cry

You had been sleep deprived for the last couple of days, you had drinked your weight in coffee, endangering your budget for the semester, and right now, the thin wooden stick model that you were making had just collapsed in your hands by lack of glue.

You loved your career, but it was demanding, and right know you needed to make a model showing three different concepts for an art gallery and you were losing your mind

You couldn’t work at your dorm, so you were in your faculty with other students, you were starving and sleepy, and even though the building was open 24/7 for this cases in particular, it did not have even a expensive machine for you to use

You were losing it

You jumped when your phone rang, it was ten pm, who could be at this hour?

To your surprise, it was Sara

“Where are you?”, she asked as soon as you answered

“At the ADA”, you muttered

“Get your ass here at the boy’s”

“Really?”

“Yeah we have coffee, tea, snacks, and energy drinks”

“Uff great, I’m on my way”, you sighed, relieved

You packed your supplies and grabbed the base for your model, and abandoned the premises after saying your goodbyes to your classmates

You liked them, you had friends, but not as friendly as to spend the night with them yet

The walk to the boy’s apartment was fast, since you were almost speed walking. You weren’t scared that something would happen to you but still your walk was very fast, it was cold at night

You, of course, were received warmly by Cregan when he opened the door, he greeted you with a kiss in the cheek, while you could hear screams in the background

“No!”

“Auw!”

“You got it wrong! The prima nocta was forbidden during the reign of Jaehaerys the conciliator in 60 AC”, you heard a squirting sound and and Jace whined, “I thought you were a feminist Jacerys”

You came into view and realised Sara was holding a spray with an unknown liquid inside of it, and was spraying Jace

“Very funny” whined Jace drying his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt

“Hello”, you giggled

“Hello love”, She greeted, “is the only way he pays attention”

“Yeah sure”, whined Jace

“It’s only water with a bit of tea”, said Sara

“I’m loving this but please keep it away from my model”, you laughed

“Half the table is all yours”, offered Cregan, putting papers in order

“Great, thanks guys”, you said with smile, “I was about to drop at the ADA”

“I love it when you call it the ADA, sound like a cool government organisation”, mocked Jace

“RIGHT?”, you chuckled back

You had half the dining room table while Cregan had the other half with his notes and notebook, Sara and Jace shared the couch and half the tea table each

They quizzed each other amongst silly and colourful games, that really seemed to help them, while Cregan and you ended up sitting by the same side of the table, he would lean into you to ask you something, or sometimes when he needed to rest his mind he would help you cut or paste small sticks into your model

Hours passed and you had listened to music, you had helped each other, quizzed each other, you took turns to cut small wooden pieces, or reciting Sara’s hIgh Valyrian poetry, or helped Jace with phonetics to remember dates and kings and presidents… or helped Cregan’s with hypothetical in weak spots of his plan

You felt so good with Cregan, so comfortable, and you found yourself wanting to share the bed with him again, and not even have sex but… take a power nap cuddling each other

You felt like a burning need to touch him, he had hugged you a couple of times and you found yourself wanting to be engulfed into his thick, protective arms again

He caught you staring and smiled softly at you.

“If you want to take a nap, or just sleep, you can take my room”, he offered, you looked at your model, you were almost done… but just

“Not yet, but thanks”, you whispered, “are you going to sleep?”

“Not yet”, those couple of nights you spend sleeping together had been so nice, you wanted to be with him, in his company

The idea of being intimate didn’t frighten you anymore, you were looking forwards to it

You wanted to hang out with him, you wanted to be around him, to get to know him better, you wanted to… be alone… with him

But right now, you needed to focus, you got up from your seat and went to get a soothing tea this time and a fruit for good sugar,

As you were waiting for the water to boil, you looked at the coffee/breakfast cabinet, and you amazed to find a brand new can of Ashford coffee

The one that you liked

You knew Jace didn't like it, and apparently, Cregan drank Dornish, so it surprised you that they had it

“I bought it for you”, Cregan joined you in the kitchen holding his empty cup

“Really?”, you asked, he smiled

“The other day when you spent those marvellous days with us”

“They were pretty great”, coming home to your friends and your… love interest, meaning Cregan was your friend but… you wanted him to be more than that… anyways… cooking together, eating together, the domesticity, you loved it, “I almost felt guilty when they fixed the boiler”, you whined

“Right? Anyways, you two spend a lot of time here, so, it’s nice to have your favourite coffee, right?”, you smiled at him

“That is… one of the most considerate things someone has ever done for me”, you admitted, he only smiled, his cheeks tainting with a blush

The water boiler whistled, letting you know the water was ready,breaking you out of your spell

“Tea?”, you offered

“Yeah, this one from Yi-Ti is the coolest”

“Uh, we might agree in this particular hot beverage”, you teased

“Yeah my cinnamon with Dornish I won’t trade”, that northerner accent really got you

“Neither my Ashford with chocolate”, you whispered

“Good, good”, the tension grew big, and you both realised it, and dispersed from the kitchen to continue your work

You sat back again and continued with your model

Until you couldn’t, you were going to fall off the table asleep

Sara and Jace were knocked out on top of each other, and your eyes burnt, and you had the most of your idea embodied in wood sticks, and you had completed your vision board, you dropped out

“They look so comfortable”, you whispered with a shy smile, looking at them both, cuddling sweetly

“Yeah”, Cregan whispered, you looked at him, he looked back at you

“Can I take you up on that offer of your bed?”, you asked, with a tired voice, Cregan was already looking at you

“Always”, he whispered with a shy smile

“Are you…?”, he nodded

And with kinky smiles, you got to his bed, and almost fainted on top of it, not having the time or energy to really do something…

. . .

After the presentation of your model, you slept like two whole days, and Sara did too right by your side on her bed… you might have broken a personal record or something

But as Saturday arrived… you woke up renewed and ready for your first intense party on campus, even though you were halfway done with the semester anyways

And you you were applying mascara and lipstick on the mirror of the the common room’s bathrooms

“We look so hot”. Sara giggled

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t go hang out with the boys”, you muttered, as Baela and Rhaena joined you too

“Because, the magic fades if they see it happening, if better if they see us all ready to party, looking as hot as we are looking right now”

It made sense, you were looking… pretty good, you did your eyes, and your face and your lips… and your hair! Pretty much everything

You were excited

Many things happened at parties

Sexy things…

With people you had attraction with…

“So… who are you hunting tonight ladies?”, teased Sara, remembering the night of the hunt at the beginning of the semester

“Uff Corbyn Corway is looking extra yummy”, teased Rhaena

“Yeah, it's been a while I think I’m gonna give Jon a pass”, said Baela mindlessly

“AT LAST”, celebrated Sara, you laughed

You were getting hyped up

You took a couple of shots with your friends, even though it was a big nono regarding guidelines of campus living

And then, you walked together to the party.

The house wasn’t even on campus, it was outside of it, the legend was that the house was a rental, and the only renters were the members of the football teams, for generations

The school didn’t want anything to do with it, it wasn’t condoned

But you didn’t care, this were the wildest parties and today you felt on fire

You wanted to see Cregan, you wanted to drink, you wanted to dance… with him… you wanted to rub yourself against him at the rhythm of music, you only hoped he wanted it too

The last time you saw him you were sleep deprived and on student mode, but today you wanted to let off some steams and Gods… you really hopes he was in the same party mode as you were

“Ladies! Welcome!”, a big man greeted you at the entrance

“Robb”, called Sara, he had curly red hair and piercing green eyes, and a strange similarity to

“Hey cousin”

“Cousin?”, you asked

“Robb Stark M’Lady”, he greeted with the same accent you liked

“Back off Robb, she is “spoken for”, mocked Sara

“Well, nothing is set in stone”, he said, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, “Hey Theon”, another guy with dark brown hair and blue eyes approached you, he brought a tray with shots in them, “for the ladies”

“Thanks”, you said quickly, and took a shot and drank it all. The girls did the same

“Beautiful girls are always welcome in the house, party or not”, he winked, and you smiled only to be polite

“Let’s go”, murmured Sara

“I didn't know you had a cousin”, you said

“He and Cregan don’t get along”, she said quickly, “he is a junior in Business and there was always been some sort of rivalry”

You already knew about Sara, and her story, she and Cregan where half siblings, she was the daughter of an affair Cregan’s father had and he didn’t even knew about his sister until his parents died in a car accident when he was thirteen

His uncle took care of Cregan, and he in turn took care of his sister.

Apparently, The boys haven't arrived yet, Sara texted Jace but he hadn't answered

The party was already in full swing, music blasting from the living room, so many people that you could barely see how the house actually looked like, you only could realise that it was a three story home, and it did look like those frat houses in the movies, nothing impressive regarding decor, it was clear that only guys lived here.

You went directly to the kitchen, where you got drinks

Beer from a keg

It was lacking bubbles but it was free so you couldn’t complain

Baela, Rhaena and Sara were giggling and checking guys out, and you started to get nervous, bad nervous, there was so many people and the only one you wanted to see was not here yet

Sara was also getting annoyed

That is until, the hosts appeared in the kitchen

“I see the ladies are making themselves comfortable”, said the ring leader apparently, you could see it now, under the horrible cold lights of the kitchen, he had on this certain thing, a similarity to Cregan you couldn’t quite pinpoint, but if you met them separately, like on the street, you would have never guessed they were related

“And where is your man, the one that spoke for you?”, this old lingo was getting old pretty quickly, this guy was clearly into you, and you couldn’t be more

“He will be here soon”, you whispered

“It's your cousin”, teased Baela, that seemed to surprise Robb

“Cregan?”, he said, visibly surprised, he then turned to you, “you are dating my little cousin? He is a lucky man”

“Not yet”, you said back, he raised a perfect eyebrow

“Not yet?”, he said with a mocking smile, “what does that mean?”

“It’s a long story”, you said simply, not wanting to discuss your personal life with a stranger

“Oh, speaking off”, he said, signalling to the entrance, which you could see clearly form the kitchen

A big ground of friends entered, you immediately recognised Ben and Alyssane, and behind them, entered two girls, and then, Jace and Cregan

“Ah fuck”, Sara whined

“What?”, you asked her

“They partied before with Alyssane’s friends from pre-med”, she said

The boys were talking to both girls, and they looked gorgeous, they were gorgeous, they were laughing at things you could clearly not know, since, you weren’t there at the “pre game” with them, and it was clear that they had a good time

Cregan seemed awfully close to this gorgeous redhead, and it was naive of you to think that that a guy as awesome as him was going to be alone for that long

And then, like he sensed you looking at him, he raised his head, and he looked straight at you, at first, he smiled, and then… Robb placed an arm around your shoulders, making you jump in your spot. Cregan frowned, very annoyed, like you had never seen him before

You shook Robb off of you, making his annoying friend Theon laugh mockingly

“Sorry, reflex”, you said nonchalantly, and took the shot Sara was offering you

“Dang it, why did it have to be Miranda?”, whined Sara when she took you to a corner of the kitchen, out of the guy’s sight, and our of Robb’s reach

“What do you mean?”, you asked

“She is…. Argh, the girl I always worry about”, she admitted, you looked down, you were looking forwards to tonight, and now it was just akward

“We could go”, you whispered, she shook her head, drinking the beer she had in her hand

“No way, you have been looking forwards to this party for almost two weeks!”, she whined, “we need to vent”

“I agree”, said Rhaena, bring you both more shots, the fourth ones of the night, and you took it without complaint

Now your body was started to heat up

“Let’s dance!”, demanded Sara, and you only nodded, she grabbed you and directed you straight to the middle of the furnitureless living room, where people were jumping and dancing at the rhythm of the last song from this urban singer

You could tell Sara was angry, perhaps the reason you didn’t go to the boys’ house was because they didn’t even answer for starters.

The shots started to make effect on you, you were angry too, jealous also, but also you blame yourself for taking so long

So instead of making a scene, or just feeling gloomy, you decided to dance and let go, you had been through a lot the past months, and you did need to vent. The twins joined you and you danced together loosing yourselves to the music

You let the music and the alcohol take you somewhere else, where you could let go

But you couldn’t hide for long, soon you had that familiar feeling, the one that told you someone was looking at you.

You immediately found Cregan, looking at you from the arch that separated the living room from the entrance

He was alone, looking at you, beer in hand, his heated gaze almost burn you, and in a second, you felt relieved, but it was short lived, the red head appeared and cling into his arm

You didn’t want to feel like this, this bitter, so you shook your head and looked away.

Of course you didn’t see him pulling away from her, you were already in the other corner of the room

You didn’t want to see it, you couldn’t, you didn’t even go on a date with the guy and he was already hurting, that couldn’t be good, it was too good to be true, wasn’t it?

You were back in the kitchen and you served yourself a plastic cup of beer.

“There you are stranger”, of course Cregan had followed, alone, you turned to face him, and when you didn’t see the girl that had come with him, you visibly relaxed

“Hey”, you greeted

“I saw you dancing out there”, he teased, you smiled

“It’s been so long, I needed that”, you said more calmly, where is…. That girl?”

“I don’t know, I told her I wanted to see you”, he said, “she left”, you shared looks, longing looks

“She was beautiful”, you warned

“Not as beautiful as you”, he said firmly, “they came home with Ben before we were ready to come here to meet you, I didn’t want to…”

“Cousin!”, you could see how Cregan’s face got really annoyed when Robb appeared, and surrounding his shoulders with his arm, “aren’t you going to introduce me to your new girlfriends?”, what he had in handsome he had a jerk… so… quite much

“She is not my girlfriend”, he said calmly, “yet…”, he said, looking back at you

“What is this “yet…” thing?”, he had a thicker accent than Cregan, but he was using it to mock you

“Why do you care?”, Cregan asked back, Rob shook his shoulders

“It looks like you are stringing this poor girl along”, he said simply

“He is not”, you answered back, “and he is right, why do you care?”, you asked back

The kitchen was getting crowded and everyone seemed to be paying attention

“Well, nothing, it seems like you need time to think things through, to have things… clarified, and what better way to do it than a little… seven minutes in heaven?”, he asked out loud, and everyone cheered and clapped, whistled even

“What are we? Fifteen?”, mocked Cregan

“Let’s make it ten then, that should give you time for a quickie”, he said

“This is insane, I'm not gonna lock myself in a closet…”

Robb closed the door of the closet and locked it, you and Cregan exchanged looks and then whine when they turned off the lights, leaving you in total darkness

“Well, this is embarrassing”, you whispered

“Have fun in there, and remember, we can heard everything, but pretend we cannot”, you heard Robb say, and then he walked away

“I’m sorry for him”, Cregan muttered

“Now I know why you didn’t introduced him sooner”, you mocked, he chuckled

“It’s complicated”, he said softly

“It’s fine”

“So… you got a little jealous there?”, he teased

“No…” he couldn't; even see you and he knew you were embarrassed, and not being truthful

“I have to admit… I got jealous too when I saw you with my cousin…”, you savoured the words in your mouth, you liked them

“Cregan…”, you called

“You are not ready, I know…”

“I want to be with you”, you confessed, “I like being around you, you are considerate, generous, so so sweet and mature, when i’m with you, I feel safe and comfortable, and I want to spend more time with you…”

“I feel the same”, even in the dark, he managed to find and grab your hands softly, “I feel like I’ve known you since forever, ever since I first saw you…”

“With barbecue sauce on my face”, you laughed, he chuckled

“I want it to lick it off of you”, his tone dropped an octave, and it made you shiver. You couldn't see his face, but you wanted to, you felt his breath on your forehead, you knew and he knew what the other wanted

You felt him leaning in, you lent upwards, you could feel it, and almost taste him…

And then, Robb opened the door to the closet with a serious look on his face

“Happy?”, asked Cregan, annoyed, showing him your joint hands. He faked a smile

“Very”, he said then, letting you out

Cregan wouldn’t let go of you, he guided you to the first floor and onto the dance floor, your need raised again, you wanted to dance along, to celebrate, to jump in joy as Cregan accommodate you in the middle of the dance floor

“Are you sure you are ready?”, he asked, you were surrounded by people, but strangely, you felt you had more privacy now, not being heard by Robb and his creepy friends

“Yes”, you admitted, “I am, I’m so so ready”, he smiled widely

“Great”, he whispered, “mee too, I want to be with you, I want to watch slashers movies for your comfort, I want you to spend the nights in my home, in my bed…”

“I want that too”, you admitted, “I want to go to your football games, wearing your number, like in those cheesy movies”, he growled smirking

“Oh I’d love that”, he admitted, “you’d look so sexy with my colours and my last name on your shoulders”, you giggled

“Let’s do it”, you said with excitement

“Let’s do it”, he said. He looked down at you with those beautiful eyes of his, and couldn’t hold it any longer

He leaned down, you leaned in, and your lips collided in an explosion of feeling and sensations.

The music blasting, the bodies moving, the smells of cheap beer, bodies moving, and specially, the smell of him, of his cologne, of his essence. It was mind numbing, in the best of ways, his lips moulded to yours like they were made to fit perfectly.

He grabbed you gently, hugging you tightly against him, and you passed your arms by his shoulders, not wanting to let go

You finally separated, he abandoned your lips to pepper kisses all over your face, making you giggle

“You are so delicious, and you look so good tonight”

“Oh good, because I had a single person in mind when I was putting on this old thing”, you teased, he smiled widely

“I need to get you jealous more often”, he teased

“Don’t you dare”, he only smirked, and then he kissed you again.

taglist

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff @misspascalpunk @sweethoneyblossom1 @ipostwhtifeel @lunamoonbby @ahristata @watercolorskyy @yazzzmints @n4tforlife @littleshadow17 @alexa4040 @speedyballoonpainter @hc-geralt-23 @rayrayredpanda @eralen @yentroucnagol @valeskafics @iloveallmyboys @schadenfreude-and-sarcasm @ttkttt @aleemendoza2425-blog @drwstarkeyy @casualfansoul @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bruher @toms-cherry-trees @happinessinthebeing

#misguidedneed #cregan smut #cregan #cregan x reader #cregan stark x reader #cregan stark #cregan x you #cregan x y/n #cregan fanfiction #hbo house of the dragon

262 notes · View notes

lafiametta · 4 months ago

Note

apologies if you've already answered an ask like this before - I was wondering what your thoughts were on the read of the tarmac/airplane scene that Igor was at the Zakharovs' beck and call because his life was ruined the way Galina was threatening to ruin Ani's (hence him living with his grandmother and driving her car)? we know at this point that he empathizes with Ani, but the particular details (the way he's looking at her, Galina winking at him) have been on my mind lately

This is a really interesting take, Anon, although I don't know that I necessarily agree with it. I mean, it's certainly possible — and with no explicit backstory given to Igor, we don't really know for sure — but there are some context clues that I think hint at what's going on. Just to preface: this is all very headcanon-y, so I'm not claiming this is the actual truth, just my interpretation.

From the movie, we know a few things about Igor's situation: he lives with his grandmother in Brightwater Towers (two condo buildings near the beach, which Ani implies are fairly nice), he drives his grandmother's car (according to the script, a 1983 Mercedes diesel), and she's got a prescription for Oxycodone (presumably for pain). Igor speaks with a Russian accent and occasionally has difficulty with English, so it's pretty clear he was born in Russia, although we don't know how long he's been in the United States. And he just turned thirty, meaning he was born in 1994.

Based on these clues, I think the likeliest scenario is that Igor's grandmother (and I would presume his grandfather, too) came to the US during the late 1970s or 80s, and moved to the Russian enclave of Brighton Beach, buying the condo in Brightwater as well as the car. Maybe one of their younger children came with them — although there's no aunt or uncle mentioned in the movie, so if they did exist, it's possible something happened to them. One of Igor's parents (depending on whether his grandmother is paternal or maternal) stayed in Russia; maybe they were older, say in university, and they didn't want to leave. (This would work within the timeline, making one of Igor's parents around 20 when their parents immigrated and 34 when Igor was born.) Igor grows up in Russia, and his grandparents are in the US; maybe he sees them through video chats or if/when they came back to Russia to visit after the fall of the Soviet Union.

At some point, Igor's grandfather dies and his grandmother is living alone in the Brightwater condo. She's got a little community there, though, so she's doing alright. But then she gets sick. The likeliest diagnosis would be cancer (especially if she smoked the way Igor does), but there are other possibilities. She's on prescription pain meds, but it's clear she needs someone to take care of her while she's going through treatment. Igor's in his late twenties at that point; maybe he doesn't have good prospects in Russia or maybe he just doesn't want to get drafted, but someone comes up with the idea that he should apply for a temporary visa to go to New York and take care of his grandmother while she's sick. Again, it's unclear how long he's been staying with her; from his English, he's gotten some fluency, so he could have been there at least a couple of years.

In terms of work, it seems like it would be pretty sporadic. He might not even be able to officially work in the US, so it's probably under the table and in cash. His expenses wouldn't be that high (enough to buy cigarettes and pay his phone bill), but I think he would probably want to contribute to groceries and utilities. (His grandmother's social security and maybe a pension fund from his grandfather would cover taxes and the condo fees.)

So his life can't really be “ruined” by the Zakharovs because he doesn't really have anything valuable enough to be taken; he never did. And I don't think he's really at their “beck and call;” he works for Toros, who calls him when he's needed, but I doubt he's on permanent retainer like Toros (and possibly Garnik). Ivan doesn't even seem to know him when he's first in the mansion (he calls him “some fucking gopnik”) and I suspect Galina Zakharov has no idea who he is either, just a guy hired to help out with finding her wastrel son.

But he works for her (albeit indirectly), and that's what's important. Because she (or her family) pays the bills, she thinks she owns him, which I think is what makes her wink more conspiratorial than threatening. She can take one look at him — cheap hoodie, track pants, sneakers — and know how little he counts for in the scheme of things. Unlike Ani, who could theoretically throw a temporary wrench in things, Igor's not even worth threatening. He's no one to her, just some nameless enforcer they pay.

And ultimately, Igor empathizes with Ani not because he's been ruined by the Zakharovs the way that they threaten to do to her, but because he sees her as a person fighting for her dreams and persistently battling powerful, entrenched forces to do so. At the beginning, she's literally fighting him, but as his time with her progresses, we watch him pull himself over to her side, until he's the one fighting for her, asking for an apology on her behalf and pocketing (or stealing?) an incredibly expensive piece of property from them to give back to her. Maybe it's class consciousness; maybe it's because he admires her and is starting to develop emotional and romantic feelings for her. Regardless, it's what drives him through the last third of the movie, and what compels him to support and comfort her in the final scene.

#anora 2024 #anora movie #anora #anora mikheeva #igor #anora x igor #anigor #meta #ask and answer #anon asks

15 notes · View notes

p5x-theories · 8 months ago

Note

This might be weird to ask and I think I might have my answer to this already but I’m just gonna ask anyway.

Do you think that they will include LGBTQ+ characters in the P5X game I think that it might not happen but it’s not saying that it’s impossible.

I think it's very unlikely, given that we haven't even seen them in the mainline games since P2 (and... technically P4, but P4 really wants to pretend it didn't have LGBT characters, heh), and I have no idea how common that is in Chinese games, or what censorship it does or doesn't go through. I know LGBT+ Chinese media does get made, so it's not impossible, but it feels like there are enough aspects here to make it unlikely. Though I'd be happy to see any!

In particular, even if there are ever any LGBT characters, I seriously doubt Wonder would be able to date them if they're a guy, or that their identities would get in the way of Wonder dating them if they're a girl. Persona protagonists, as the audience surrogate, are usually supposed to be relatively "normal" in that respect, so I'd be especially surprised if they let Wonder be in a canonically gay relationship, and on the flip side, I doubt they'd completely prevent Wonder from dating a female character even if she also showed an interest in women. As for trans people, and other identities, those don't feel particularly likely either, unless the trans aspect is presented as a joke or a misunderstanding (ex. Naoto Shirogane). Other identities tend to be even less commonly portrayed, so I'd be even more surprised to see them even implied.

I'm aware the above is a bit pessimistic, heh, but I've gotten pretty jaded about getting representation in things like this, I suppose. I'd love to be proven wrong, I'm just not expecting it!

(And, to be clear, with all of the above I mean anything getting explicitly confirmed- ex. a character outright stating they're attracted to someone of the same gender, or multiple genders in general (ex. Jun Kurosu, Tatsuya Suou), or being implied as ridiculously heavily as Kanji or Naoto were, but without the backtracking later. Obviously anyone can read into things in canon, and the game could more vaguely imply something, but in both of those cases there's plausible deniability, so I don't consider it as canonically including an LGBT+ character for the sake of this question.)

#anonymous #theories #cannot stress enough I'd love to get a canonically LGBT+ character I just do not expect it to happen

21 notes · View notes

transhetanybodys · 7 months ago

Text

As I am going through my Hamilton phase now for some reason, I've been having a lot of thoughts about it that I'll try to concisely gather here. It's faced criticism for romanticizing the founding fathers and portraying them as more sympathetic than they really were (i.e. Hamilton married into a slave owning family and wasn't actually super pro-immigrant), which I think is fair, but I would also respond to that point by arguing that with the themes of legacy and looking ahead to the future where people who never knew you will be telling your story and you'll have no control over how they do it, it makes sense on a meta level why the characters come off as more sympathetic than they did in real life.

They seem to be semi-subconsciously aware of the audience and purposefully trying to present themselves sympathetically because of that, with the fourth wall breaks and stuff like Hamilton not wanting to refer to the play Macbeth by name even though he in universe is not in a theatre which kind of suggests to me that he knows on some level that he is in a theatre out of universe (the rule about not naming the play Macbeth only applies in theatres) and Burr directly introducing characters to the audience and trying to sell himself as a good person to us/do damage control/lamenting his fate to us in The World Was Wide Enough. And then of course Eliza's gasp at the end is her becoming fully consciously aware of the audience.

I do not know to what extent Lin Manuel Miranda intended for the characters to be semisubconsciously aware of the fact that they are in a play and that they have an audience or if he intended this at all, but with death of the author I think that I can gather sufficient evidence to support this interpretation as a viable one. Still, I have gotten really attached to this concept/interpretation to the point that I've been considering trying to do a rewrite of Hamilton where I take it much further than it's taken in canon if I ever get the time. My ideas are pretty out there and I recognize that, but I think there's some good potential with them.

Imagine if there was a framing device where the characters were temporarily brought out of their afterlives after their deaths (mostly Heaven but there could also be a joke where it's implied that King George didn't come from there) to an extradimensional plane/stage, created by a historian/history writer in some kind of deal with the devil that he struck where he got to bring all of the relevant players in the period of American history that Hamilton covers (some like Benjamin Franklin are obviously missing from Hamilton and thus wouldn't be in this iteration either but let's just ignore that) into this extradimensional plane so that he could get the story of what happened over that period of history directly from them. Hamilton in particular is one of his main specialty areas, so he wants it to especially be centered around him.

After the characters freak out about the fact that they've been randomly summoned from the afterlife, they quickly turn to being concerned about their legacies and start to bombard the historian with questions about what the people in his time think of them. He tells them that answering their questions before they've told him their story would bias how they tell the story, and thus he won't tell them until after they're done telling it. He's going to write a book based on what they tell them, he says, so they can directly influence how they'll be remembered going forward by how they tell their story to him. This is what primarily gets them interested in this exercise of telling him their story, although of course there would be immense variation in how the different characters respond to this situation and how their responses evolve over time with added information.

They realize that Philip, Hercules, Lafayette, and Peggy didn't get summoned with the rest of them because they were off doing something that is beyond the comprehension of mortals on a different plane of existence at the time that the summoning ritual took place (in my head when the other characters explain what they're off doing the descriptions are replaced with eldritch-esque sounds that the historian can't comprehend), and thus Laurens, Madison, Jefferson, and Maria respectively volunteer to play both themselves and them in this musical about their story. Insert jokes about Laurens playing his lover's son and calling him daddy here.

The musical proceeds in a similar way to canon, except the element I described earlier of them trying to sell themselves as sympathetic to an audience they're semisubconsciously aware of is ramped up to 11, because they are obviously consciously aware of the historian. Characters who like each other like Hamilton and Laurens hype each other up as good people who deserve to be remembered fondly, while characters who don't like each other like Hamilton and Jefferson trash each other and each other's attempts to sell themselves as sympathetic to the historian. For example, during the first Cabinet Battle, something that could happen is Madison stage whispering to Jefferson that Hamilton married into a slave owning family in life after Hamilton roasts him for having owned slaves, Jefferson triumphantly pointing that out, and Hamilton trying to defend himself.

For some additional concepts I have for this, Hamilton and Burr reconciled their differences at some point in the centuries they've been in Heaven and became friends again, but the fighting they do over Burr trying to sell himself as sympathetic while describing why he killed him reignites their rivalry and causes them to hate each other again. Hamilton was willing to forgive him for the whole murder thing until he tried to say that he (Burr) couldn't let him (Hamilton) make an orphan out of his grown adult daughter while Hamilton in contrast had small children at the time, at which point he started to reconsider that forgiveness. Hamilton, Laurens, Angelica and Eliza (and Martha Laurens but she wasn't one of the people who was summoned, so she would just be mentioned to also be a part of the relationship) have all at some point formed a polyamorous relationship in Heaven where the only two that aren't dating are Angelica and Eliza, obviously, because they're sisters.

When they're done with the production/telling their story, they all stand for a moment contemplating everything before Eliza goes over to the historian and asks him to answer their questions about their legacies and what people in his time think of them, now that they've fulfilled their end of the bargain. He responds something like "See for yourself" and gestures towards the audience, and the characters all see it for the first time. They realize that they've been performing for us, the audience, this entire time and not just the historian. There was never a book, the point was always this play. After the play, during the time when the actors interact with the audience, they stay in character and ask them questions about what they think of them and what they thought of their performance. Maybe there's some jokes like Hamilton and Jefferson still trashing each other and asking people some variant on "You liked me better than him, right?" Anyway I think all of this would be cool and I might write it at some point.

19 notes · View notes

thickenmyblood · 1 year ago

Note

why did laurent start dating / having sex with maxime, even before nicaise found out? maybe this is something we find out in ch. 20, but throughout hiuh i’ve really struggled to understand or empathize with laurent in this area. you’ve mentioned him being self-destructive, or how it was good for his ego to bring a date in front of damen. but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped? why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection. he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i really, really hope this doesn’t come off as criticizing or accusatory in any way — it is your story and you can characterize laurent any way you want! to me it’s felt like this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen — not just being jealous, but being compared to maxime over and over again by laurent’s friends and implicitly by laurent himself — not to mention how it hurt nicaise. yes, damen had flings, but he didn’t try to replace laurent after two months or ever shove it in laurent’s face. and yet it feels like damen over-apologizes for ever asking about maxime or suggesting laurent’s behavior was harmful. i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

feel free to ignore this message, but always appreciate hearing why you chose a particular characterization!

hello! i get this question every once in a while so i thought i'd answer it today since we're about to be done with the story. i didn't take it as an attack or anything and it's a very cool question!

but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped?

in a way, reading your ask, i think you answered some of these things yourself. why did he bring maxime to a bunch of events knowing damen would be there? because he wanted the upper hand, he wanted to be seen as having moved on (remember that he thinks damen has moved on, too), because it's an ego thing. but why do it if he was the one who dumped damen? same answers, but i'd add that it's implied in the story that laurent was surprised and hurt by how easily damen went along with the break up. laurent brings it up, says he can't do it anymore, and damen just goes to work and never comes back. once again, in a toxic and insecure way, there was a part of laurent that wanted damen to fight for it, to say "wait, let's turn things around" or something. obviously, that didn't happen, and laurent interpreted that as confirmation of a lot of negative thoughts he was already dealing with (damen wants out of this but he doesn't know how to do it, damen's too "nice" to say that he wants out, damen is looking for excuses to start arguments bc he's trying to get me to end this, etc.)

this is not me justifying laurent in any way. was it childish and immature to bring maxime to events bc he knew damen would be there and he wanted, along with all the reasons listed above, to make damen jealous? yes, probably. is it petty? yes. is it ooc? i don't know. i think laurent does exhibit some pettiness in the books.

why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection.

this part of the question is a bit more complicated for me to explain. i 100% agree with people's complaints that in this aspect hiuh laurent is ooc (compared to canon laurent). in the books, he doesn't sleep with anyone but damen, so everything regarding laurent/other men is always going to be ooc in some way (unless it's non con, i suppose).

maxime has to be a stranger. maxime has to be someone laurent doesn't care about, doesn't value, doesn't respect. it would never work between them if maxime was not a stranger, which is ultimately what happens in the fic (let's, for a second, ignore the fact that they also don't work out bc lamen are in love lol). when maxime wants more, laurent cuts him out.

why does he have to be a stranger? because hiuh laurent's biggest issue in this story is that he can't be vulnerable enough to be loved and accept that love. he loved damen, but he couldn't get to a level of vulnerability that allowed him to explain himself, to show himself to damen as he really is, and without that a relationship can't last. when you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from the person you love, eventually that turns into resentment and anger and hurt.

when he starts sleeping with maxime, he's not looking for another boyfriend. he's not looking for love. he's not sleeping with maxime because he's too horny to function either. he lets maxime fuck him because there is something to prove. and here I have to apologize because to me this detail was so clear during my writing process that I'm only now realizing I did not do a good enough job of integrating it EXPLICITLY into the story. what is there to prove? laurent has only ever slept with two people in his life and only damen was a pleasurable, consensual situation. so, here's the setting: laurent and damen break up, they go no contact, months pass, laurent is STRUGGLING (nicaise mentions this time and time and time again in the fic), laurent has no way of knowing that damen is also miserable, laurent has no way of knowing that damen hasn't moved on (damen is, actually, at this point in time, fucking other people). laurent isn't looking for love or dates or romance, but then maxime shows up and he gives laurent an opportunity to prove to himself several things:

he has effectively moved on from damen (in his mind, having sex with other people = the ultimate 'i'm done with damen" move)

he is in control. he has only had consensual sex with one person in his life, which gives damen symbolic power over him in a weird, fucked up way. or... maybe the word isn't power, but status. damen has a status in laurent's mind and memories because he's the first person laurent CHOSE to have sex with, the first person he loved and showed him it could be good, etc. as long as damen maintains that status, laurent will never stop thinking about him, will never have anything to compare damen to and say "see, it wasn't that big of a deal". which brings me to...

he wants to minimize damen. he wants dismiss what damen meant to him, what their entire relationship meant, so it can be easier to move on. how do you move on if you're thinking "oh I broke up with the love of my life lol"? laurent needs to tell himself what he had with damen wasn't unique, wasn't that special. he can have it again (the SEXUAL part).

needless to say, this fails. he has sex with maxime and finds that it's nothing like it was with damen because it's WORSE, because having sex with damen was having sex with someone who knew him and loved him and respected him. laurent has sex with maxime but he's still thinking about damen, he's still in love with damen, the same way damen is having sex with kyra or trying to date iris while thinking and missing laurent.

once this realization sort of sinks in (yes, he can have sex with other people, yet that doesn't erase damen's status in his brain bc damen was special for a bunch of reasons I'm not gonna type in here - THEY'RE IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR) that's when the self-harm comes into the picture. (this is discussed a bit in ch20 so SPOILERS but)

what kind of sex are maxime and laurent having? it's not the slow, gentle, love making stuff damen knows laurent was into. it's rough, it's degrading, it's not as pleasurable, it's a chore, it leaves marks. does laurent want those marks? we don't know. does maxime ask him if he does? we don't know. you can make it as non con as you want because the text doesn't go into detail.

the petnames. "why does laurent like it when maxime says it but not damen?" I don't think he does. he never gives damen a straight answer on this, but he does say that it makes him feel like a bimbo. it makes him feel slightly degraded. he says it wasn't terrible, but he never says he wanted it or that it was good. it's implied that damen tried it once or twice at the very beginning of their relationship, and I think we can all tell why laurent didn't like it back then with him either (bimbo feelings, laurent using him for money, the power imbalance, etc.)

uncle parallels. okay, this one's a bit tricky. yes, you're right to think that the abuse laurent's uncle subjected him to is nothing like his relationship with maxime for a plethora of reasons, but I think the narrative supports some people's opinions that maxime does resemble uncle in some ways (older, brunette, has a beard). i did not write maxime as a literal uncle stand in, so of course it's not going to be a perfect comparison. i wouldn't even call maxime and laurent's relationship abusive.

he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i tried to mirror canon in hiuh when it comes to laurent's... choices? in canon, damen is the first person he's with after his uncle because he's the only one laurent trusts. i don't have any doubts that canon laurent was terribly lonely and probably wanted to be loved waaaaay before damen came into the picture (post uncle, I mean) but his context and environment were so violent and dangerous that he couldn't let his guard down. similarly, in hiuh, laurent leaves his uncle's house without any money and in a very vulnerable position. he's not exactly carefree and happy and able to be like "oh I wanna date and fool around!! explore my sexuality!!!!" - in fact, this is a pretty big plot point in hiuh: laurent did contact damen out of pure necessity.

and yes, sex is the foundation of maxime/laurent for all the reasons I stated above, but at the same time it's not all about sex. it's not even about sex. it's about control and self-punishment. it's about self-hatred. we also don't know what state laurent was in when he started seeing maxime because we don't have his pov, but we do have nicaise's testimony. again, this is briefly mentioned in ch20, but it wasn't exactly pretty.

however, having said all of this, i'm not blind or dumb enough to think oh hiuh laurent is sooooo canon laurent, not a trace of ooc-ness. i get where the characterization issues are coming from. at the end of the day, I have to say that this post summarizes a tiny bit of what went into creating hiuh laurent. i tried to make him as canon as possible, but I'm not pacat and so my characterization is different. my setting is different. the modern au is different. it is completely fair to read hiuh and think as a reader "i would not have gone in this direction, i don't think laurent would ever be with someone who isn't damen, i don't think it's consistent with his canon self". i accept those comments in the same way i accept those that say they love this laurent bc of XYZ.

this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen

i understand this, but at the same time i don't know how much responsibility laurent can take over that when it's... just dating/fucking someone else after a break up. he should apologize for making damen feel bad on purpose (perhaps taking maxime places), but the rest of it... damen also fucked and thought about dating other people. the comparisons you mention were cruel, but they were made, for example, by characters like aimeric (removed from the narrative entirely later on) and ancel (who tells damen he was wrong, who tells damen he thinks laurent made a mistake letting him go).

i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

i understand that, but i also think damen's insecurity wasn't born just from this issue. he is an insecure person throughout the fic. his toxic masculinity is one way this insecurity and lack of self-confidence manifest, for example. his fixation on penetrative sex. his fixation on performance. his fixation on parenting like laurent because his own way is wrong. his fixation on never thinking about the things and people he lacks because he can't take it.

yes, laurent played a huge role in feeding that insecurity, but I'm failing to see where he is ridiculing damen. during the condom conversation, laurent snaps because he feels judged and attacked, not because he's making fun of damen's pain. during the pet name conversation, the same thing happens. and in both instances, damen is judging laurent. he judges laurent really harshly in other scenes, too, like when they find out about claude.

some of these issues are talked about in ch20, but I don't think there is a scene where laurent addresses everything. perhaps he should. i just didn't write it.

#anon #hiuh #ok so this got out of hand lol #hopefully this made sense?#i do think a few scenes in ch20 help us see that laurent is sorry and he says so but i dont know to what extent youll be satisfied with it #also i am working my ass off lmao im editing i promise i'm trying to finish it IM TRYING kjbsdkgbdskjgbkd it's just so long dudes #pray for me #pray for my ass bc im editing six hours a day #im so close to the end i can almost taste it #and YES FFS IT'S HAPPY stop doubting me #plot twist they dont end up together

66 notes · View notes

bestworstcase · 1 year ago

Note

I think what strikes me about the razing of Vale is how it directly parallels what Ironwood and Atlas did, but also what VALE did to Mountain Glenn.

After all, Vale also was the reason that Mountain Glenn was doomed in the first place. They abandoned the people of MG to their death under the pretense that they couldn't do anything for them. And it's even worse when you consider the fact that Mountain Glenn had a fully functional underground TRAIN NETWORK that reaches directly under Vale, in parallel to Atlas having cargo ships.

If anything, it proves that Vale DID have the means to save the people of Mountain Glenn by using the trains to take citizens to safety while Huntsmen or soldiers probably could have held the line and stopped the Grimm from following. But they, like Ironwood, chose to abandon them to their fate to save themselves.

After all, the set up of the situation is something like this according to Oobleck:

Mountain Glenn is built. People transferred from Vale to MG. Mountain Glenn has no natural protection, and thus was besieged. MG people go underground.

But here's the thing though: If they went underground, why didn't they just get back onto the underground trains to escape?

It didn't say that the tunnels were swarmed, only that an explosion opened a different cavern that exposed an underground Grimm nest. If anything, it didn't say that this happened immediately either. There's definitely a noticeable gap between when they went underground, vs when the explosion is implied to have happened. They more or less outright stated that "it was a safe haven", and from looking at the background, there were plenty of half-finished underground buildings there that strongly implied that they were able to keep things going for a period of time until they found the Grimm nest.

What it seems like to me is that Vale didn't even attempt to help them evacuate via the underground, and just sealed them up to die.

They were foreshadowing Atlas as early as Volume 2.

So in a dark sense, Salem's destruction of Vale is karma finally coming after the Kingdom of Vale for willingly leaving their former citizens to die in such a horrible fashion.

yeah this is pretty much where my thinking is, especially in light of how important the mountain glenn arc’s character development was in v9 and how—& i was saying this last year while the volume was airing!—in the ever after the girls answered the herbalist’s question (“what are you?”) but didn’t answer oobleck’s (“no, that is what you do; i want to know why you do it”). so there’s this driving sense that the answers are unfinished and that intersects with oobleck’s entry into the narrative at this moment of personal crisis for him in his failure to prevent another mountain glenn. and then a key theme with the mountain glenn arc is that history is important.

“if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it.” and “i see lives that could have been saved, but i also see an opportunity—an opportunity to study these ruins and learn from this tragedy.” on its face, it’s easy to take oobleck’s perspective to mean that he strives to better understand how to fend off the grimm, but oobleck is not the grimm studies professor nor does he express any particular interest or concern on the matter of killing grimm (to the point that the girls get irate with him for not fighting, and he’s the one who tells ruby not to provoke the goliaths).

he teaches HISTORY.

in jaundice we get oobleck talking about the faunus revolution like: this may seem like ancient history to all of you, but it isn’t, it still matters, there isn’t a faunus in this classroom who hasn’t been subjected to discrimination, this kind of hatred and cruelty breeds violence, just look at what happened to the white fang. and then he hits his two most disinterested students with “history is important, if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it!”—like. oobleck tries SO HARD to get his students to grasp that the historical faunus revolution and the modern-day white fang are the same. that this is history repeating itself because humankind refuses to learn.

and that sets the stage for mountain glenn. what does it mean that oobleck sees in this wasteland a “dark reminder” of vale’s “greatest failure” and lives that could have been saved and a chance to learn from it to ensure that it won’t ever happen again, and this is what motivates him to BECOME A HISTORY TEACHER, and specifically the kind of history teacher who teaches the faunus revolution by confronting his students with the truth that persecution at human hands is what drove the white fang to violence? what does that say about him? about the failure he sees when he looks at mountain glenn?

more to the point:

the theme of the mountain glenn arc is that we must learn from history to avoid repeating the failures of the past. this is a throughline that runs through the rest of the story: the girls hear what oobleck is trying to teach them, and when the wolves are howling at the door and the general orders them to abandon the people of mantle to save atlas, they refuse. and they stand their ground, and they try, and they save EVERYBODY. the failure to save mountain glenn is not repeated, because oobleck taught them that.

now vale has fallen, and oobleck sits on that refugee ship in abject despair because he feels the weight of his failure crushing down on him—and, narratively, the most important question is, “is he right?”

like, did he fail? is the destruction of vale something that constitutes a failure?

not a defeat—that’s not the same thing. vale suffered a catastrophic defeat. but were there lives that COULD HAVE been saved if the ones who made the decisions had chosen differently? is oobleck standing in team rwby’s shoes, someone who did the very best he could and saved absolutely everyone it was possible to save, or is that ship full of refugees atlas leaving mantle behind to die?

THAT is the crucial question, because the failure of mountain glenn is not that the city fell but rather that there were lives that could have been saved. and that distinction has to be made, because otherwise the lesson that was not learned, the failure in vale’s destruction, is… what? that nowhere is safe? that no amount of geographical advantage or aggressive border defenses can save you from an inexhaustible onslaught? that mountain glenn was doomed from the start and it was naive to think vale could be different?

is rwby that kind of story? no.

mountain glenn was doomed from the start. its eventual destruction by the grimm was inevitable, oobleck says, because the city was established in grimm territory. but there were lives that could have been saved.

atlas and mantle were doomed from the moment ozpin used the staff to raise atlas; it was inevitable that the staff would be used again, by someone, for some reason, and as soon as that happened both cities would be destroyed. but there were no lives that could have been saved, because they saved EVERYONE.

vale, too, was doomed from the moment salem set herself to razing it; by sheer force of inexhaustible numbers and the ability to outlast anything done to her, her destruction of the city was inevitable. but were there lives that could have been saved?

and even more importantly, are there still lives that can be saved?

here’s what oobleck says of mountain glenn:

WEISS: What does history have to do with this? OOBLECK: Why, what a preposterous question, you silly girl! Why, history is the backbone of our very society! …And the liver! And probably the kidneys, if I were to wager. WEISS: And that means...? OOBLECK: The southeast quadrant outside of Vale is home to wild forests and deep caves, but it is also the location to one of the kingdom's greatest failures! RUBY: Mountain Glenn. YANG: That's right! It was an expansion of Vale... But in the end it was overrun by grimm and fenced off from the rest of the city. OOBLECK: Correct! And now it stands abandoned as a dark reminder.

and:

OOBLECK: Mountain Glenn! Yes, an expansion of Vale that was inevitably destroyed by creatures of grimm! Previously home to thousands of people, working people commuting to the city, the main city! Developed a subway system to the inner city! Grimm attacks increased! Population in danger, now desperately searching for shelter! City evacuates into the metro tunnels and what do they find? The southeast quadrant of Vale is known for wild forests and deep caves! […] OOBLECK: No, no, Mountain Glenn was Vale's first serious attempt at expansion. It worked for a short period of time, thanks to an aggressive perimeter defense and unique transportation; the city developed an elaborate subway system to carry citizens safely from the new territory into the main kingdom! Sadly, without the many natural barriers Vale had to protect its borders, Mountain Glenn was doomed from the start! As the end drew near, the citizens of the territory made one last attempt at survival: they took up shelter beneath the city, in massive caves that they had cleared out for the subway, and they cut themselves off from the surface! YANG: An underground village? OOBLECK: In a matter of speaking, yes. A safe haven. Until... an explosion opened the mouth of another cavern, filled with subterranean grimm. After that, the Kingdom officially sealed off the tunnels, creating the world's largest tomb.

and the undercity looks like this:

not even half-finished buildings, at least some of these look like completed structures that are now falling into ruin—and this isn’t some haphazard shantytown cobbled together out of scrap, these are huge high-rise apartment buildings! the mountain glenn undercity lasted a long time, months or perhaps even years given the scale and complexity of construction that was completed before the explosion punched a hole through the cavern walls into a nest of grimm.

the thing that most interests me about oobleck’s account of mountain glenn’s demise, is… like, the sequence of events seems to imply that vale cut the territory off when the upper city was overrun. the people living in mountain glenn “made one last attempt at survival” by retreating into the subway tunnels… which they did not use to evacuate to vale. instead they built an underground city in the cavern surrounding the subway system, and lived for what seems to be quite some time with grimm quite literally nesting on top of them.

think about the nevermore perching on the hard-light dome over amity coliseum. now imagine building a town in the arena and living there, under that nevermore, for a year. that’s what the people of mountain glenn did, instead of using the existing subway system to evacuate to vale. why?

why, in a world where human civilization is so defined by existential terror of the grimm, would they do that, unless they had no other choice? vale “officially” sealed off the tunnels when the undercity was overrun, but…

i mean, we see what happens when you bring thousands of people who’ve just survived the destruction of their homes to a new place: a days-long onslaught of grimm drawn by the refugees. vale isn’t walled. it doesn’t maintain a standing army. if thousands of refugees had flooded into vale after mountain glenn collapsed, the grimm would have been right behind them.

and… mountain glenn was a working-class suburb of vale. the people living there commuted to vale every day to work. they were probably quite poor compared to the average person living in vale—which is another parallel with mantle—could they afford to relocate to vale, if vale refused to provide housing for the mountain glenn refugees? was it a choice between having an apartment and enough food to eat in mountain glenn or being homeless and hungry in vale where everything was astronomically more expensive? were they, like mantle, just “a few city blocks” if vale’s leadership thought of them at all?

history is important. if you can’t learn from it, you’re destined to repeat it.

mountain glenn is vale’s history. did vale learn from that history? i think—narratively, for the purpose of contrast with the fall of atlas—the answer is probably no. and that means salem’s destruction of vale is less dark karmic justice than the wheel of history repeating itself; the city has been overrun.

but—mountain glenn’s people outlived mountain glenn itself, by retreating into caverns and building the undercity. so i think the big question with regard to salem razing vale is whether this is the “as the end drew near” part or the “creating the world’s largest tomb” part of the story. is everyone who didn’t make it onto that ship dead, or are they making one last attempt at survival by retreating into the same tunnels where mountain glenn’s people carved out a safe haven for themselves?

there’s a constant repetition throughout this story of the idea of “beacons of hope” and “safe havens” and this is something i find quite interesting because, obviously, there’s a beacon academy and a haven academy. atlas and shade don’t get rhetorically name-dropped like this, but atlas was a beacon of hope (the city in the sky, promise of a better future!) and the kids are fighting to make shade a safe haven. beacon fell, atlas fell, but haven was saved. it’s closed right now, but it’s still standing and mistral is—as far as we know—weathering the storm. menagerie offers safe haven to the faunus who don’t want to fight, and salem has no plans to attack it.

the mountain glenn undercity was a safe haven, kind of. only no one came to help when help was needed—haven survived because menagerie stood to defend it. shade will survive because mistral and menagerie stand with it. if there are people hiding from salem in the undercity, they’ll survive because shade and mistral and menagerie come to their aid. you see how it gains momentum with every arc of the story? the beacons collapse alone and the havens stand together.

#continuing to be normal about razing vale

42 notes · View notes