#[ also i'm just going to make up her power that it can affect someone's senses

[lunaetis]

@solaetis asked :

"Now, don't give me that mournful look. It's true that in some ways I've been 'outsmarted', in the end I was able to get the gnosis, is that not so? Meanwhile, the lot of you are rotting here with the self-same dissatisfied look as if your contributions to the cause are infallibale. Well, Arlecchino, let's hear what your lips can concur at this moment. Certainly you've concerns to raise. If your knotted brows could speak for you, it would." - Dottore

unprompted. || always accepting

─「アルレッキーノ」─ the moment she saw his face, the VERY MOMENT the words of the news had left his lips, the knave no longer was processing anything else that followed after. she didn't even know what kind of expression she was making for the other to still be talking as though nothing happened. perhaps, in his mind, in this one's mind, it didn't feel like anything was wrong. sure enough, it didn't. it was an EXCHANGE, wasn't it ? whether it was fair or not, that was the least of his concern. as he said, he was able to get the GNOSIS.

but at what cost ?

without warning, the knave had violently slammed the form of the second harbinger against the wall behind them, hard enough for the SURFACE to almost crack under the impact itself as cross-shaped pupils quivered uncontrollably, if the way her gloved hands clenched against his clothing didn't tell of that already.

" HOW DARE YOU — " seething fury was obvious in her murderous tone, teeth gritting so hard that her jaws were hardened and her eyes FLASHED a blood-dripping color of crimson in surge of her power and his movements were TEMPORARY PARALYZED. she held herself back, however, even though all she could think of was to literally rip his throat out with her hands. arlecchino was shaking in PURE RAGE, gloved digits wrapping themselves around the column of his neck. like a beast baring her fangs in a violent growl.

how dare. how dare. how dare !!

a kind of violence that served as a retaliation for the GRIEF and heartbreak she was experiencing. all of it. all because of him.

" BRING HIM BACK. "

he was mine. mine.

[sorrelchestnut]

I've seen a fair number of posts both here and on reddit that question why Tav (or the Dark Urge) would end up as a group leader for any other reason that "game mechanics say so." There's the requisite "okay, well if you play a high charisma character I guess it makes sense," or on the other end of the spectrum, "if you're playing Durge and murder someone right off the bat everyone would be too scared to tell you no." And I get where people are going with this! I really do. But it also fundamentally misunderstands a facet of human nature, which is that the vast majority of people do not actually want to be in charge, because that means being held responsible for the outcome. Accordingly, most people will dither when a group consensus is needed: have none of you ever tried to get a group of friends to agree where to go for dinner? Yeah, it's like that, but waaaay worse.

A lot of times "leadership" is just the willingness to say, "fuck it, y'all do what you want, but I'm doing this." I see it all the time in a corporate environment, where people will go back and forth on group meetings without anyone making a decision until finally one brave soul goes "in my opinion the clear answer is x" and then everyone gratefully goes along with it. Because now it's not their responsibility when something goes wrong! They're just following along with someone else's suggestion, and maybe it works or maybe it doesn't, but at the end of the day they don't have to worry about the consequences unless they're personally affected. In which case they might step up and argue back, and then they're stuck being a leader, too. Welcome to adulthood!

Lae'zel is the only one who ever even tries to exert some kind of control, when she tells you to follow her lead on the ship, or calls you her subordinate in the Grove. But, crucially, she doesn't ever make any serious attempt to take control: you can just tell her, "lol, no," and she sort of confusedly gives way, because she doesn't know how to handle this scenario. In her world there are commanders and subordinates, and everyone knows where they stand and falls in line. She's never actually had to take control of a situation and so at the first sign of resistance she falls back on the dynamic that's familiar to her, which is executing the commands of someone older and more experienced. She goes through a lot of growth over the game, to the point that she can take over as a resistance leader in her own right by the end, but at the beginning she's a wet-behind-her-ears private with some decent combat chops and it shows.

Otherwise, your party consists of:

Shadowheart, who's trained in infiltration and assassination and does NOT want a lot of attention brought to her or her mission for a variety of reasons;

Astarion, who has literally been a slave for two centuries and canonically takes a while to realize that he can exert an opinion beyond complaining about it;

Gale, whose only friend is his cat and couldn't project-manage his way out of a wet paper bag;

Wyll, who was probably trained for command at one point but has been doing the lone-hero thing for a decade and has a very large secret that he's trying to conceal; and,

Karlach, who's only ever been a bodyguard and a soldier and is genuinely just happy to be here.

Honestly, it would be more a surprise if Tav/Durge didn't end up as their unofficial leader, given the general power dynamics at play. The first time Tav/Durge says something like, "fuck it, we need to do something instead of stand around arguing about it, let's go check out those ruins over there," it's a done deal. They're The Captain Now! As long as they don't make decisions that fundamentally oppose something dear and important to the other group members, they're not even going to get any argument. Because at the end of the day, not one of these walking disasters has enough trust in themselves and their decision-making skills to feel any kind of certainty that they can choose the right path forward. If someone else is going to take that decision out of their hands? They're going to follow, no questions asked, right up until the moment they can't.

[yanderes-galore]

Would like to see a romantic concept of Carmilla Carmine from Hazbin Hotel

I'll try my best as there isn't much I can find about her :( So I hope my little ideas make sense!

Yandere! Carmilla Carmine Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Controlling behavior, Manipulation, Personal theory and HC, Stalking, Unhealthy power dynamic, Violence, Blood, Possible murder, Delusional behavior, Implied kidnapping, Forced relationship implied.

What I can primarily grab from Carmilla's songs and dialogue, she prioritizes those she views as family.

She has two daughters and cares for Zestial, a fellow Overlord and close friend.

She'd sacrifice anything to keep those she cares about safe.

This is shown when she kills an Exorcist and when she's hesitant on helping Charlie fight the angels.

She hates the idea of combat, even as a last resort.

Which is ironic as she manufactures weapons as an Overlord.

My theory is Carmilla doesn't want to spill anymore blood because that's how she got her and her daughters killed (due to them all being Sinners, and Sinners can't reproduce).

The biggest thing I'm getting from her is overprotective, stern, and controlling.

She'd want her obsession to listen to her, to see her decision as final.

While I see her as primarily a platonic yandere, she'd be very similar to a romantic obsession.

She probably has a bit of a condescending vibe to her when it comes to her obsession at times.

Maybe you're an Overlord that participates in meetings.

You and her get along, in fact, most other Overlords may suspect you two are close.

Even Zestial isn't blind to Carmilla's tendencies around you.

She's normally so calm and level-headed.

However, she's known to lose that slightly when you enter the room.

Sinners may not reproduce, but they certainly feel attraction.

Carmilla originally tries to push aside her thoughts.

She has no time to entertain such ideas.

However, I feel Carmilla would fall for someone more if they showed respect for her family.

When Carmilla sees you greet her daughters with such genuine respect... her heart lurches.

I feel even her daughters notice their mother falling for you hard.

Carmilla keeps getting distracted during meetings but always brushes it off.

So imagine if her daughters or even Zestial kept setting you up together to try and help Carmilla.

Ignoring her obsession isn't going to help her.

But to be fair... acknowledging it and going along with it won't help either.

Safe to say once Carmilla gives into her obsession, she has the chance to be unnerving.

When she caves and shows interest in you during "private meetings", she always comes off as calm yet welcoming.

Carmilla views you, her beloved, as family.

Carmilla has a big thing for family.

If her daughters enjoy your presence so much, Carmilla likes the idea of pursuing you.

Carmilla seems like she'd be charming and flirtatious with her obsession.

She invites you to dance with her, often teaching you so it can be a thing just between you.

I can also see her whispering small flirtatious comments at times once she realizes she does love you.

She feels she can drop her guard around you.

She hasn't felt this way in a long time....

You make her feel a familiar flutter in her chest that she has almost forgotten about.

While she's calm and welcoming with you, she has an unhealthy power dynamic with her beloved.

Be you an Overlord or not, Carmilla has access to angelic weapons.

Granted, she'd never harm you, but the possible threat is still there.

Carmilla naturally seems like she's controlling, often spouting the excuse that what she does is to protect you.

She's close to you and will defend you in any way she needs to.

She's even taken on an Exorcist just to protect her daughters.

As an Overlord in general, she's capable of some nasty things.

Carmilla would be so caught up in the idea of keeping you safe by her side...

She doesn't realize how her actions affect you at times.

She's manipulative, often commanding her beloved or nudging them to think a certain way.

If you disobey, she shows irritation and may nearly lose her temper.

However... She realizes her issue and corrects herself.

Her obsession makes her twitchy, the idea of you being hurt or finding someone else to love irks her.

That emotional turmoil most likely would boil over later.

Her complex emotions for you are for a variety of reasons.

She loves you... but getting you to listen is difficult at times.

She hates others being so close to you, especially since Overlords can enter deals.

She worries about you being around The Vees or Alastor.

Even more so if she notices the bond you have is becoming strained....

She wants you to know she loves you.

She does everything and will do anything to protect you as your partner.

She wants to spoil you, to show you that she's yours and will always be yours even if you won't be hers right way.

Carmilla doesn't want to resort to violence.

Yet with her complex emotions... and the possibility of losing you... she gets volatile.

Alastor or Velvette might even find it amusing how worked up she gets over you.

Eventually I can see Carmilla staining her shoes in the blood of someone else.

She's shocked with herself when she realizes it, too worked up to think about what she was doing.

Carmilla would hide any murder from you.

She tried to hide the dead Exorcist to protect her family, right...?

It's the same with you.

She deludes herself into thinking she's protecting you and herself this way.

Yes, she shouldn't spill any more blood...

But she does this out of love, no?

She never says a word, merely trying to keep your attention on her as she hides the bodies of the demons she's killed.

It's... It's not important... People kill each other in Hell all the time.

Which is why she has to protect you...!

She always keeps a close eye on you.

Even towards her romantic partner she acts like an overprotective guardian.

If she kidnapped you, it would be through subtle manipulation.

Afterwards she'd give you strict rules to follow, often scolding you for undermining her.

She loves you... she'd do anything for you...

Carmilla is willing to sacrifice anything for love...

Including her darling's well-being at times.

[captorations]

okay i'm actually going to talk about the phrase "her necromancer" again in the context of TLT being a master class in proper and powerful epithet usage. because while the first time gideon's narration used it for harrow was after picking her unconscious body up and inspecting her after finding her passed out, and the second time after successfully removing her from the situation and having heard her recover enough to wake up and be bitchy for a moment, it was actually used for what i believe is the first time overall shortly before. still by gideon's narration, but for palamedes, referring to him as camilla's.

gideon has just met these people. camilla actually tried to kill her on sight, briefly presuming her a threat. but in that time, gideon has recognized that they *belong* to each other. palamedes is camilla's necromancer, camilla is palamedes's cavalier. with all the possessiveness and codependence and affection that entails.

so a part of her, the part that's been raised on the revered ideal of the necro-cav pair, recognizes them as embodying it. in a way that's actually far more intense than the standard, and in a way that serves only to highlight just how badly gideon and harrow are fucking it up.

but even as she sees their differences, she also sees their similarities. as camilla attacks her, gideon directly acknowledges: "here was a warrior, not just a cavalier." of course gideon would know and appreciate the difference; she was trained by a warrior to be a warrior. the cavalier thing is new, and a facade, and the latter is also true for camilla. both in terms of combat style and in terms of the expected subservience, as gideon is certainly not subservient to harrow in the traditional sense, and camilla and palamedes, as much as they embody the necro-cav ideal, also defy it in that they are *equal* partners. hell, in NtN, camilla teases palamedes for implying that she's mindlessly following his agenda and ignoring her own. "you thought it was your agenda? huh."

then, to drive the nail home, palamedes directly scolds gideon- and harrow- after they retrieve harrow safely. he tells them: "stop splitting your forces."

because pal has seen the similiarities too. not only is he also the young leader of an entire house burdened with an impossible task (saving dulcinea, vs. saving the whole ninth), he has the same issue harrow does, working himself to exhaustion unless someone stops him. so he's telling gideon: you have to be there for her, because she's like me, and if camilla wasn't there to step in, i'd work myself to death too.

it's worth noting that harrow recognizes the parallels between the two pairs as well. it's why she's so wary of pal, even as pal is all but making them friendship bracelets. i've said it before: harrow thinks of herself as a threat, and thus, anyone similar to her must be a threat also.

all this to say that gideon first calling harrow "her necromancer" in the immediate wake of being given an implict lesson by the sixth, doing so for the second time after an explicit lesson by the same, and going on to do so throughout the story, is an exactingly calculated move and devastatingly effective for it. this is what epithets can do in the right hands. and it fucks

[bloodyshadow1]

i wonder if the path Brennan is laying out for them is to redeem/uncorrupt a bunch of the gods, not just Ankarna. I'm just wondering because we see a quick glimpse of Sol, Helio, and Galicaea and they seem pretty shitty. But whenever the intrepid heroes bring up a conspiracy or something about Sol planning on taking out Ankarna to get her domain over the son all to himself, Brennan corrected them by mentioning something about it was the followers.

Honestly, while it would make sense for the followers to be their god's conduit on earth, in the lore of Spyre, mortals can affect how their gods are. That's why Tracker didn't leave her church, but is trying to do a revival to change how Galicaea is. It would be interesting if Kristen will do the same with Sol while doing the same thing to Ankarna and hopefully Cassandra this season.

I think it would also be a better twist because Bobby Dawn is going to be someone they fight by the end of the season, I'd put money on it. He's probably going to die, but instead of just a my god is better than yours because you're dead, I think it would be more fitting since Kristen's story seems to be about redemption that she redeems the whole family.

Because while killing Bobby Dawn will be satisfying, it wouldn't really change things. He's a preacher for Sol, he has a congregation of people who believe what he preaches. Hell most of Highcourt believes in the worship of Sol and Helio. Someone can change his place and it doesn't matter what Kristen does for Cassandra and Ankarna if in 500 or so years the followers of Sol and Helio try to repeat what was done a 1000 years ago and unmake Ankarna and Cassandra. By doing something similar to a revival and changing their gods it could destroy a lot of the power that the church currently has in 2 nations .

Just something I was thinking about and planting a flag for theory

[emblazons]

I said I was gonna so a whole long post about the monologue after my rewatch so: having watched the whole Vecna monologue v Mike monologue that happens in the Piggyback in full for the first time in actual months…god damn. Just.

There is no way to understand what’s happening with El (and her relationship with Mike) during the monologue without looking at Vecna's monologue that comes right before it. There just isn’t, and if you try you’re 100% going to miss critical context for why things happen the way they do both in mlvn’s relationship and on screen.

First off: after what Vecna says to her, El is fully in self-defeat (and self-loathing) mode. She’d just learned that every single attempt of hers to do "right" with the knowledge she had at the time had actually been useful to the person destroying her world—

—and despite trying so hard to overcome her sense of destructiveness about things like scaring Mike and hitting Angela by going to “learn who she is” at Nina, it turned out that even the moments she perceived as her “heroic” ones (like closing the gate and stopping the mindflayer monster in S3) were actually tools useful to Vecna…just like her Piggybacking in to save Max.

El is literally hearing that even her best attempts at being “good” were used for evil, which makes her an accomplice to Vecna even if she didn’t mean to be—

—which we're shown, as El remembers all the moments she thought she was "helping" only to be told each one of those was her having her powers used by Henry/Vecna.

If that wasn't enough, we literally watched as El paralleled herself directly to the person whose powers are now being used to destroy the world, even as we (the audience) know most of what is happening is just Vecna do what he does best by tapping into her deepest core fears.

Vecna adds insult to injury here by making it clear that he once "wanted her by his side" in the first place (aka the powers she's been trying to use for good cannot be divorced from bad things)—

—and from this second onward (in El's perception at least) there is no way for her powers to be used correctly even when she wants to be helpful—which is why she “gives up,” lets the vine loop around her neck in the first place, and stares unmoving and crying at Max.

Basically: What Vecna says steals even the little resolve she gained back at Nina…which is why she stops fighting entirely.

Now, all of this is an extremely fair reason to feel defeated and dejected about trying to fight (on top of traumatizing af for El)—

—the problem is (like everything else wrong in their relationship) Mike once again has no sense of El’s internal state because she doesn’t and has not historically shared it (or can’t in this case), and therefore can only answer what he externally perceives her state to be—which he guesses, based on their last argument, has to do with him not being able to say he loves her.

The disjointedness between what is really happening with El and what Mike wrongly perceives the issue to be is why we see El not only look repeatedly displeased by his confession—

—but why the only thing she can think of in relation to Mike positively is his initial rescue, when he takes her to a space where her powers are neutral / unknown (and not the force for evil even her best attempts at using them just became in her mind).

That dissonance is also why she doesn’t fight until he starts saying she need to get over herself and save someone else…which is why she looks at Max and decides to fight anyway.

In truth, Mike could have glossed over the entirety of the “I love you," "not I'm scared of you but I’m afraid of losing you” part and just said “I believe you can do anything, but right you need to fight” and gotten the same result, given that what needed to be addressed was her self-loathing, not Mike’s (lack of) romantic affections.

Basically: even if they weren’t on the precipice of a breakup, Mike’s love wasn’t going to make up for the fact that El has basically just learned that what Brenner said was true—she wasn’t ready, not even physically, but mentally…because she was not prepared to learn that even her best attempts at saving the world were actually helping Henry build to the end of it.

Combine that with the fact that she ends up losing Max despite trying to fight with Mike's encouragement...on top of the fact that all of her relationship with Mike was rooted in her wanting to feel "normal" (aka what Vecna just shot out the window permanently)?

...no amount of "I love you's" from a boy as insecure as Mike (who she keeps at emotional distance) is was going to help that, especially given that Mike was directly mirroring what Brenner (who she literally cannot stand atp) said to her trying to encourage her.

All of this...we haven't even touched on anything happening on Mike's side or how her powers (that he so admires her for) are now officially "evil" in El's mind, never mind every other aspect of their incompatibility? ☠️

—I know I'm gonna move from this post on to how what Brenner said to her about "facing the good and the bad / humans are rarely so simple" is actually how El's arc has to be resolved in the end, but.

For now I'm at 30 images and anything more would get convoluted easy, so I'll just leave us (and my million mile an hour thoughts) here.

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

🔫

Can I have more Donna headcanons plz. I'm a lonely lesbian who loves fiction female Italians

Lmao I got plenty<3

- y’all probably know I interpret her pretty differently. She’s a lot stronger and independent than the normal but she’s still a super anxious and shy individual. She’s a beautiful paradox I cannot begin to describe.

- She’s high functioning depressed and autistic. On the surface she’s someone who has order and routine- who can handle being at meetings with others and talk to people as equals- but spend enough time with her and you’ll see that she will just lay in bed and not get out. That she thinks herself as smaller than others.

- Angie is a side of herself she’s stored away, the memories and personality Donna had with Claudia. In order to keep that final happiness, all those memories are stored in Angie and has influenced the doll to be the way she is.

- Donna has never experimented with her powers to know their full capabilities. Even the concept that she can cause nightmarish hallucinations to kill someone without raising a blade terrifies her.

- She has an accent that comes through when she’s tired or just not thinking about it. Sometimes it’s so heavy that even she’ll jump at the sound of her own voice.

- Cursed solely in Italian. Angie’s the one that says “fuck” and Donna can live through her.

- Donna cannot take full control of Angie, just heavily influence her- if Angie doesn’t want to do something then Donna can’t force her hand. It rarely happens though.

- On uncommon days she’ll walk through her woods around the manor with Angie. Her anxiety, esteem, and motivation must all line up but every time she doesn’t regret it and comes home with a sense of peace.

- A horrible fidget when she’s not aware of it. During meetings or talks or anything that her brain is running anxiety on- she’s still as stone. But at home, she’ll speak to Angie with her mind unable to focus on one thing. Her hands will play with her hair, tug at her dress, tap against a teacup- head swaying to watch strands of hair swish in and out of her vision- feet shuffling against the floor, picking at scabs or the peeling skin beneath her fingernails- just to name a few. You’d have to be very close to her to see any of it in action for yourself though.

- Existentially stuck in the past. Although she’s aware of the present and what the future may hold- she’s constantly thinking about the past, comparing it, using it to determine what person she is. Getting close to her is a difficult task when the past still haunts her and controls her.

- During episodes of breakdowns where she just does not want to live like this anymore, she’ll pick and pull at the Cadou infesting her eye. Cursing it for keeping her alive.

- Her anger manifests in two ways; a depressive self hatred that causes her to coil in on herself- where she feels guilty for being angry at all and tells herself over and over to just suck it up, it’s not a big deal- or an expressed destruction where she loses majority of control over her powers and dolls run rampant.

- Her sadness is a building cycle. She’ll get upset at something and cry, but absolutely hate herself for it and scold herself for being weak, which then makes her feel worse, and she’ll continue this cycle until she’s exhausted and just can’t cry anymore.

- She’s a mix of self loathing and self love. On one hand she will destroy any mirror she sees her reflection in and go days punishing herself for simply existing, but on the other hand she really does want to love herself. It manifests as a weird ball of complex feelings- she could be proud of an accomplishment but also feel shit that it isn’t the number one best accomplishment ever- and that she’s a fool for being happy about it. Yet she keeps it around, calling upon it as a comfort… even if at the same time it brings her pain.

- Simultaneously wants romance and affection but also absolutely terrified by it. She’ll read the books and let her creativity run wild, surprisingly a hopeless romantic, but if it’s even an inch close to her in reality- she’ll rather run.

- She’s on the autistic spectrum to mistake normal, platonic affection as romantic. Hell even if she doesn’t have feelings for that person- she’ll gaslight herself to “catch feelings.” In the past, she’s fucked up a relationship that way- becoming an aggressively toxic person for the attention, affection- wanting the person only for herself and herself only- and unknowingly manipulating them to fulfill that selfish, unconscious desire. She’s realized her mistake months after, and has become much more reserved and mindful because of it.

- A sponge for knowledge. She’s a big ole nerd, loves anything to do with science, has little mock research she’ll do with her own garden that’ll tickle her. While she herself is more on botany, Angie ends up soaking in more zoology, both of their knowledge combined is beyond impressive.

- She feels music very deeply in her heart. Doesn’t matter if it’s instrumentals or with lyrics, it resonates with her strongly and she has strong attachment to particular songs based on memories, feeling, and hope.

- Sleeps with some sort of noise- white noise, music, the rain- sleeping in complete silence unnerves her.

- Wakes up to Angie screaming in her face every morning. Wouldn’t have it any other way<3

- Angie eats and drinks in small amounts, the Cadou is still a parasite that needs substance, but since it’s a part of Donna’s Cadou- Donna can sometimes feel the effects of what Angie eats. Woman could be taking a stroll and suddenly taste dirt cuz Angie ate shit chasing a squirrel.

- Protective of the remaining eye. The Cadou took away the sight in the eye it infects so Donna has learned to deal with challenged depth perception. She’ll often reach for things too far right or left if she ever got full vision back.

- Silent walker without even meaning to be. She also somehow manages to silently run (if she is on the unique occasion to jog through the woods).

- Doesn’t sweat easily. Her body is already naturally pretty cold so any form of workout will need to be pretty long/intense for her to start sweating.

- She is aware her body (especially at the ends) is pretty cold. She refuses to give anyone hand shakes because she’s secretly Elsa and will freeze yo’ ass.

- Angie jokes that Donna stands in the sun to photosynthesize, rather than to warm herself up like some kinda sunbathing lizard.

- Surprisingly very warm during the winter, Donna’s an ice pack in the summer and a heat pack in the winter.

- No she doesn’t know why either wheeze.

- On the few occasions she’s free from her anxieties- Donna is quite chaotic. She used to be the prankster of the family and still has part of that alive within her- Angie especially has to be the victim of said pranks (but she loves it no matter how loudly she complains)

- Doesn’t like to have pictures of herself taken, but Donna does have a rare few in-the-moment photos she adores.

[mewmewpercy]

Okay so like I'm absolutely doing this because people really do not understand the Sunday story that Penacony was supposed to show us. Especially in last patch. I'm doing this in honour of one of my favourite characters who is very well written actually.

So let's start with childhood. One of the first things we have learned about him is that him and Robin lost their home and parents at a very young age. Obviously as an older brother he would take the responsibility of caring for his younger sister no matter what especially after something like that. Some time after that tragedy they're taken in by Gopher Wood and supposedly things are fine for a time.

That changes when the charmony dove they find puts the siblings in a dilemma of not knowing what the best decision for it is. It's during this that we see exactly how much more idealistic but unsure he is. He believes that keeping it in a cage after healing it is for the best but ultimately changes his mind when Robin says different.

This is very obviously something Gopher Wood takes advantage of because it's pretty obvious in every one of the scenarios that we are shown in 2.2 Gopher Wood had a lot of influence on how he acts. Sunday was absolutely nonsexually groomed from childhood. His ideals for humanity are absolutely well intentioned and Gopher Wood takes advantage of it. Not to say Robin doesn't also care for people but she's far more realistic and grounded in her hopes and dreams for what she can do to protect the weak.

If we take the fact that it's Sunday's ideology to protect the weak by giving them a world where they're protected from the harshness of life from the equation it sounds good doesn't it? It's an absolutely wonderful ideology to have because I'm sure quite a few of us can relate to wanting to just be protected by people who have the power to do it. He is willing to be a martyr if it means saving people who can't save themselves. If you lose the bias against him for being the antagonist of this story you realize he's a good person who was led down a horrible path by someone who was supposed to be a father figure which is one of the most fucked up things I've seen a character I love go through.

Now knowing how much he cares about protecting others let's go back to what we've seen him be like since 2.0. Since the start we've seen how much he cares about Robin especially. At the end of 2.0 we see him standing alone looking at the Golden Hour when Sparkle shows up pretending to be Robin. It's the first time we see him lose composure because he's obviously affected by thinking his sister is dead and someone is trying to take advantage of it for shits and giggles. At the end he has a little monologue which at first seems like him being a fucking lunatic but then when all the stuff from 2.2 falls into place it starts to make sense.

Now to get into a part that's really gonna hurt a few people most likely. Let's talk about how he treats Aventurine. Before I get into this I'd like to state I am absolutely an Aventurine fan. I used to hate him but 2.1 changed my opinion. Okay now that's outta the way. So we have little hints that have been dropped that Sunday loves being in control. He's said to have OCD and the meeting between him, Ratio, and Aventurine is absolutely a show of that.

We've established that Sunday wants to protect the weak and that he requires control. If we take that into perspective as well as his role his methods begin to make sense. He wants the best for people and Aventurine doing what he'd done and was planning to do was interrupting the order and control he needed so he did what he felt he had to. Which was fucking with his mind and making sure he was telling the truth. It's an absolutely terrible thing to do and I understand that absolutely. Like super extreme. But it fits who Sunday is as a person. He's basically in charge of watching the dreamscape and wants the people there to be safe. He can't do that if a random factor is trying to go against his normal.

Now let's talk about the boss battle. So the lead up to it is him having us experience the story of how Penacony came to be what it is today. It went from a place for exiles to a prosperous world of dreams for people to enjoy. During the second fight we get a glimpse of his car for Robin again when she comes in. Up until then his voice was pretty bland and uncaring but when she comes in his voice falters and he seems to break character. The post fight cutscenes is probably one of the saddest thing I've watched in a while though. In this cutscenes he falls and is just so accepting of failing and seems to not care that he's literally falling. His eyes are closed and when Robin goes with him and catches him to hug him he's openly shocked. It's by far one of my favourite displays of sibling care in a hoyoverse game literally ever. And not to mention the commentary we hear as everyone wakes up. It's genuinely such a beautiful scene.

So yea I love Sunday very much and he deserves so much more than the fandom gives him because he's the antagonist.

[oceanlipgloss]

9.1.2024

—nsfw

Once again, I braved a battle of screaming abominations angels to unlock yet another H-scene: Mammon's! I honestly feel bad that this is going to happen behind Satan's back, but it's probably better that way. So! Without further ado, let's gooooo

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: sir Mammon sir??? Wha??? As far as I can tell, HE SEEMS TO BE STANDING. Oh my f—this is gonna be wild and that 'let me in' sure has more meanings than one Still, I want to ignore all that for a moment and focus on the 'I will become yours' because it made my heart flutter. The demon of Greed himself, and a KING no less, is telling a human that he will belong to her. My, my, my <3

update I:...girl I swear it hasn't been long since your bestie Paimon helped you out that's how the story makes it chronologically seem, at least

update II: he's gonna spoil her. I can feel it. She's going to get princess treatment

update III: lmfao MC being awkward for once and not knowing how tf to tell him 'pls do me'? Simply golden

update IV: I'm sorry, but that 'anytime' kind of shot me in the heart also she's so awkward lol this is against the norm

update V: MC almost seems disappointed that she's naked again

update VI: some very nice demons helped her practice this small talk is kinda like two NPCs conversing funny lol anyway, could he perhaps be bothered by how MC has done this with others before?

update VII: *points at Mammon* why is he being so hot

update VIII: he's aiming for the heart and it's a bullseye 'you're a most precious being' Goddd <3 Romance aside, though, he makes sense. Everyone she has met so far is vying for her attention, and it will be that way with those she meets later on as well, so he would rather belong to her and 'inspire' her to choose him on her own in the process

update IX: I just CANNOT get over the idea of how someone so powerful is willingly giving himself to someone else, even more so in how he's a demon king telling a human that she's the first he's ever belonged to it makes my heart wiggle And honestly, despite how a pact/contract between a demon and a human directly makes said human the devil's master, and albeit the fact that he obviously likes her, I think that him viewing her as his master and welcoming that fact is very modest of him because in the end, he's one of the most powerful demons and a king too—and that's a package that usually comes with lots of pride, but he's so calm about it and accepting of it

update X: so he's not as close to Solomon as others seem to have been. But please back up for a moment, Mammon: what do you mean by saying your contract with Solomon was just a game? I want to hear the story behind that *rubs hands together* do tell Anyway, I've got an important note. I admire how they touched on the concept of greed. As in, MC has others but still feels so possessive of Mammon that even his contract with Solomon, whose whereabouts are currently unknown, bothers her—yet, the game doesn't label that as selfish, even though I think it's cruel and most definitely selfish (because, after all, MC can't have everyone—they're not objects or possessions, they have their own thoughts and feelings, and so she doesn't have the right to want them all, as it's brutally unfair to them even if they seemingly let it slide); the game just lets it be, though, and I really appreciate the dark tinge this has to it. It's a refreshing take.

update XI: smiling in the midst of a kiss? YESSS &lt;;3 kinda weird how MC suddenly got so possessive over him though lol his sin of greed has to be affecting her oh, her very own sin of horny, too makes me wonder how unhinged she'll become once it's time to do the deed with Asmodeus or one of his subjects Ronové mmm

update XII: PFFFFFF the butt-wrestling match begins

update XIII: MC rn: oh, MC, we're really in it now

update XIV: HOT DAMN

update XV: so, um. I said this was going to be wild, didn't I? And I did say Mammon appeared to be STANDING, didn't I? Because would you look at that! This IS wild wild writing and he IS still standing SJSNLMS BRING IT

update XVI: GOOD GOD THAT CG FLAILS AROUND PASSES OUT DIES MAMMON IS NOT PLAYING

update XVII: in memory of MC: horny killed the cat 'I'm going to die' almost sent me but imagining the 'you felt like it would come out of your mouth' sentence made me mentally gag. Like goddamn, bro

update XVIII: a playful gentleman ugh yesss

update XIX: rough but sweet? Fuckkk he's really something also how TF is she even managing to stay quiet? The PP is so grand it stunned her Okay but he seems to be really affectionate and that makes me melt ALL THOSE KISSES <3

update XX: this is easily my favourite part of this scene. It's so gentle. He's telling MC in his own way that they should both just enjoy the current moment without her thinking of other things (i.e. if he's interested in her since she's Solomon's daughter). This silent reply is so sweet and romantic—an affirmation that proves his feelings and defies her doubts but she doesn't get the message

update XXI: oh what the hell Mammon, how sweet are you? But aaaah I was right lol it was love at first sight for him. He did fall in love first and he did fall in love quickly, and this in turn means that he's also doing this because he loves her. From earlier interactions with him I figured that that his H-scene would have a dose of intimacy, so this is really nice to have Also, I HAD to include at least one screenshot of this CG because dammit feel free to use your imagination in order to see beyond the heart "look beyond what you see."

update XXII: there we go again with the horns oh God oh dear God THEY ANNIHILATE ME EVERY SINGLE TIME And now? FUCKING HELL WAY TO GO MC, that was SO HOT. What she did with gripping his horn and making him lower his head is cute, but the intention behind that and licking his horn are both very sensual and I think they're going to take a toll on Mammon too

update XXIII: yup the poor man froze

update XXIV: gotta stay true to form I think I know what comes next how the tables have turned, huh MC? I'm sorry, but this is so funny to imagine lol

update XXV: 'bumped into your face' omfg I'm—lmaoooo MC: *panics in porn reference* Me: *snorts* HILARIOUS! ENTERTAIN ME

update XXVI: aaaaaaah I KNOW I keep saying this, I won't shut up about it though a powerful entity who also happens to be a KING being willing to do what a much weaker being wants DOES THINGS TO ME SJDNFDJKSNDKS when did MC ever say she wanted this though Mammon I know you also want to do this because you worship butts

update XXVII: MC be like pls chill big man inner voice: keep going

update XXVIII: someone get MC a floatie she's gonna drown

update XXIX: when I tell you I was LAUGHING through this last part??? What the fuck mannn lol MC needs to set aside towels and floaties for every H-scene fr I feel bad for the towels tho, they'll never make it out dry

update XXX: noooo this is playing a number on my stone-cold heart so soft and sentimentallll

update XXXI: he's really sweet

update XXXII: MC, come here for a minute *SMACK* that was insensitive asf, sweetie I genuinely question her intelligence sometimes lol how is she going to make my man Gusion like her at this rate sob PrettyBusy will somehow find a way and hopefully it won't be 'you're Solomon's daughter so I like you.' I have faith in my man Gusion Gusion aside, sorry hon one of the things I really like about Mammon is how he's not afraid to be straightforward and express his dislike for something, and he also directly says when a certain thing bothers him, no matter what. This also hints at the great confidence he holds in himself.

update XXXIII: fluff fluff flufffff

update XXXIV: arghhhhh he had to say that at the end <3

update XXXV: all this sugar is lethal

[donnerpartyofone]

I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.

It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.

Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.

I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.

[rachelgearhardt]

i'm hoping the livestream for life is strange: double exposure will clear some things up for me, but as of right now i have some trepidation. i used to have an active LiS blog a couple years back and i just made this new one specifically to talk about my feelings seeing this trailer

so, just diving in, obviously the elephant in the room here is that there's no chloe (or more importantly, any mention of LiS1 and its story beats or characters at all). someone said that max is supposed to be either 28 or 29 years old in DE, but i couldn't find an official source for this so take that with a grain of salt

regardless of which ending you chose, bay or bae, max's character arc through LiS1 is extremely significant. if you choose bay, max probably has some level of survivor's guilt for 'letting' chloe die (even if that was 'what the universe wanted' and changing time is 'wrong'). ten years is not enough time to significantly divorce this from her character, so i would expect to see it mentioned or affecting her still. max went through so much trauma through the course of that game that it would be bordering on exhausting to make a list of each trauma. my first thought when telling another story about max (whose story was very much finished at the conclusion of LiS1) would be to explore those things or at the very least tack onto what was there

you would think that would be a gold mine of story-telling opportunities, just as a writer and a dev, but even if you only wanted to look at it from a cash grab lens, it would also make more sense nostalgia wise to include LiS1's story in whatever arc they give max next

but let's say you choose the bae ending. if you do that, max has fundamentally decided that she will save the one she loves with the power she's been given and she owns up to this, even if she has guilt after the fact. we would see her struggling with that guilt just the same as if you gave her the bay ending. but to tack onto this, i think she and chloe would be pretty closely linked, whether they're in a romantic or platonic relationship atp. i just don't think you can 'sacrifice' your childhood town (or at least, that's how max perceives it. whether it's true is another topic) with your superpowers just to save your best friend and then not have her in your life going forward. i would say at the very least they're trauma-bonded, and at most they're in a romantic relationship, depending on how the player plays the game. either way, chloe should still be an integral part of max's life, especially since it's only been ten-ish years since LiS1. i would still expect to see chloe with max, like in LiS2

so then comes the issue - how are they going to tackle this? they have a few options here. the first one is they can completely avoid canonizing either ending by just never mentioning LiS1, chloe, or any of the other characters again. they can pretend that max has moved on and it's been enough time to divorce that story from her character.

however, i kinda don't think they're going to do this because square enix gave this response to someone on twitter:

i think they know they're playing with fire here, so i doubt square would say something like this unless they were aware that LiS1's events or characters are mentioned in some way. so from here i would assume they're going to take a LiS2 approach and have the player choose which ending they picked at the end of the first game.

based on that choice, the game will either show you evidence of chloe living or her dying. and if chloe lives, who knows if she'll just be away on a trip or if she and max have split completely. but i already see issues with this regardless, personally. it only worked in LiS2 because the game wasn't about chloe or max and the easter eggs were small. this entire game is constructed around max as a main character, so... the events of LiS1 would both affect her thoughts, her surroundings, her actions and even just her core character? that is a huge amount of things to tackle and change based upon your ending in LiS1, so i'm worried this will be watered down in a way that's probably not going to sit right with me

i mean, just looking at the trailer, max's powers have developed to show she's almost opening portals to change timelines. do you really think bae ending max, who decided to save her loved one over all else, wouldn't use that power to contend with her arcadia bay trauma and save her and chloe's other loved ones? save rachel or joyce? it just seems odd and it raises a lot of questions.

what i will give them is there does seem to be some element of max not being able to control her powers in double exposure, evidenced by this:

max can't rewind time at all anymore, so her powers are just not to her control. it seems like she starts hearing safi's voice without being able to control it or know what's going on, so i guess because of that unpredictability she couldn't exactly use it like a marvel superpower and go and save arcadia bay. but is that going to feel a little too convenient or actually genuine, when we see it actually executed in the story? who's to say, atp

another element to this discussion that's kind of important to note is that michel koch has openly stated that the reason why dontnod split with square enix is because they wanted to essentially reboot LiS with Lost Records, mostly due to them being creatively constrained by square:

this sentiment that square is ultimately unsupportive of dontnod's vision of LiS is corroborated by deck nine employees with the expose article written about deck nine's work culture awhile back:

i mean, square enix does not seem to care about LiS past a money making venture, which is already showing in the way double exposure seems to be a cash grab. how can you authentically continue max's story, including all of the character development and trauma from the first game, while also not making it any part of this new story? i could be proven wrong (and i hope i am), but considering the trailer says it's a max caulfield adventure, it seems like it's mostly going to be separate. the fact dontnod had to split off to tell stories with artistic integrity should tell us enough about this situation, and that's without going into other issues in this expose about the work culture at deck nine. there are no doubt some amazing people working there that fought for LiS and i still think BtS is an amazing game that has a lot of aspects where the love for LiS1 shines, even despite square selling the franchise to 'the lowest bidder'.

but anyway... all this to say, i'm really worried about the integrity of max's character here. i hope i'm wrong about a lot of this and chloe (or really just anything hinting to max's pre-established lore) is shown in this game. but right now it's feeling a little odd to me

[mrfippstuff]

CSM 167: Yo, What the Fuck?

So, that chapter, huh?

To just get it out of the way, Yoru gave Denji a handjob and he came on her hand, and despite how crude that sounds I find this whole chapter fascinating. Normally I like to think these kinds of posts out but right now my mind is racing trying to organize everything, so I'm going write whatever pops into my mind.

So first thing, there's the issue of consent, and I'll start with Asa, because she didn't show up until the very end, but we have to remember that Asa has shown the ability to push Yoru out of the driver's seat in moments where she is particularly having strong emotions, and someone using your hand to jack someone off would get some kind of strong emotion out of her. Yoru seems to act as Asa's unfiltered, unrestrained thoughts and desires, the version of Asa that acts without the worry of what other people think or say about her, so that means if Yoru was allowed to do this, then that means on some subconscious level that Asa was okay with this happening. I'm certain she'll scream and yell about it later, but that won't change the fact she let this happen. Then there's Denji, who at this point I think we'll just have to accept that even if all parties involved give consent I doubt he'll ever have a really "normal" sexual experience, and the fact that Yoru seemed to be getting into this along with him, instead of her just using it to manipulate him like literally every other girl he's been with unironically maybe puts it at the top of the list for him.

Which brings me to Yoru! back when the had the apartment date, she kissed Denji and when she pulled away she was blushing, she felt something for him at that moment, and as we saw here the returning memory of that date had her act on that feeling again. We know that Asa's emotions leak into Yoru, and considering Asa's own feelings on Denji that means that to some extent Yoru feels them too, but unlike Asa, Yoru has no inhibitions to stop her from acting on her desires.

EDIT: I decided to add another bit on Yoru

The thing I'm most interested in seeing is how this will affect Yoru's relationship with her own powers. Her weapons are powered up by the guilt associated in making them, but between having no real moral compass and not ever becoming emotionally attached to anything she's never had any sense of guilt, meaning she can't make the most of her own powers. What will happen if she tries to make weapon out of Denji? She's feeling attracted to him, she knows she likes him, meaning she'll get a strong weapon out of him, but what if she goes for it and she can't do it because guilt is such a foreign concept for her despite how important it is to her skill set and having to actually confront her own guilt terrifies her?

Overall, this chapter left me with two major thoughts on what I think/want to happen.

The first being is that this is what causes Denji to snap, that he'll have some post-nut clarity and call Asa out on how she's been acting, because from his point of view she's been an unstable, schizophrenic psychopath this whole day. Denji asks her about her arm, she kicks him in the balls, she says she wants to help him, but she threatens to fight him, she tries to castrate him, and she gives him a hand job and makes out with him! What is he supposed to reasonably think about her in this situation when she's just been nothing but an inconsistent mess? I want them to start getting mad and start yelling, with Asa arguing with both him and Yoru which only makes her look more insane to him. I really feel like if they get angry, then Denji can actually start beginning to take some control of his life back instead of letting everyone push him around, and Asa will be forced to confront her flaws and mistakes, that she can only be in denial for so long while Denji is screaming in her face about it. It would be ugly and messy, but I think it might actually be good for them in the end.

Also, I'm not entirely joking when I say if those two(three?) end up having intense hate sex in that alleyway in the rain, then I think it would be insane in the best kind of ways.

And second, I think it would be unhinged is Asaden was a red herring, and Yoruden was the real end game pairing. It might legit be the start to Asa's villain origin story. She goes out and does all these things just so Denji can feel strong affections for her, to give her something to latch her self-worth and the attempts to validate her life, oly for Denji to fall in love with Yoru instead. It would be both hilarious and tragic.

Another thing! Up until this point I thought Denji and Asa's relationship would be a tragedy or What Ifs and Could Have Beens, but instead I want them to be unhinged as possible, spiraling down while they blaze the candle at both ends. Just let their relationship become everyone's problem from now on.

Overall, the last few months have left me nervous and apprehensive about what each new chapter of Chainsaw Man will bring, but as of this chapter I find myself more excited than ever because I feel like this might end up taking the story is some insane places.

ONE MORE EDIT: I wrote a one-shot regarding my interpretation of this mess: Back Alley Screaming Match.

[kopfkino-o]

In Defense of Azriel: A Dissertation, Part One

One thing I see a lot within this fandom is the suggestion that Azriel, somehow, feels entitled to Elain, that he is some raging incel or some torture-loving freak or a white knight only interested in pursuing unattainable women, etc etc. And I am just not okay with that.

Azriel is SUCH a nuanced character and the fact so many people fail to see the context of his personality, his role within the narrative, and the obvious themes SJM is using in regard to his character is just... baffling to me. Especially when he has the potential to be such a powerful male character with an important story that deserves to be told.

So here we go, I'm defending Azriel with my whole chest. This is obviously a pro-Azriel post with pro-Elriel undertones, so if that isn't your thing then SCROLL.

Thx love you all bye.

1) Azriel suffers greatly with his sense of self-worth, so much so he thinks he is deserving of nothing.

We learn first from Mor that Azriel thinks so little of himself, no doubt a direct symptom of his childhood, that he harbors a deep sense of unworthiness. So much so that even if he were a prince, even if the woman he loved (I question this, but that is a whole other post I'll save for later, so I digress) stripped naked before him he wouldn't feel worthy enough to act.

"The issue, actually, wouldn't be me. It'd be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn't move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it wouldn't matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris--he'll still see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me." - Mor, ACOMAF, Chapter 52

I think this is a great line to turn to when trying to understand the value Az places on himself. Mor says it herself, she could strip naked for him and he would still see himself as undeserving, still see himself as someone who shouldn't be granted the chance to have her affection. If he feels his way with Mor, someone who he supposedly has loved for centuries (again, I question this lol), then I think it's fair to claim he probably sees himself this way with all women.

This feels like the furthest thing from entitlement to me.

We can also see this inclination towards self-loathing come up again in the ACOSF Az bonus chapter when he gifts the necklace to Elain for the first time.

"He knew it was wrong, but there he was, sliding the necklace around her. Letting his scarred fingers touch her immaculate skin." - Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2)

These thoughts don't come from him thinking that he and Elain are wrong for wanting to be together, that their shared moment of affection (both now and as hinted at by the "This was the furthest it had ever gone" line) is wrong, but rather from this innate feeling of unworthiness. Az sees himself as nothing (see point below) and cannot fathom why someone like Elain, lovely Elain who resembles hope and the sun at dawn, would ever stop and see him. Give him her time, her offer and permission, would ever call his scarred hands-- the physical reminder of his trauma--beautiful.

He thinks it's wrong because he believes someone like him could never deserve a woman like her.

"Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all." Azriel, ACOSF, Bonus Chapter (1 of 2).

LIKE COME ON. This man sees himself as nothing. The fact he spoke up regarding his thoughts on the Cauldron potentially being wrong to begin with was a big thing for him, he who has many secrets, and Rhys SHUT HIM DOWN. 500+ years and even Cassian states Az is slow to open up, see below:

"Cassian knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. Az would speak when he was ready, and Cassian would have better success convincing a mountain to move than getting Az to open up." - Cassian, ACOSF, Chapter Nineteen

Az did speak this time, he felt so strongly and questioned fate itself so fiercely that he opened up to Rhys. He questioned the Cauldron, the fatemaker itself, not because he is entitled to Elain, but because there is something between them, something that has been brewing between them ever since their first meeting, something so fierce he is (finally) compelled to open up, to speak because he was ready. Think about how important that is for a character like him. Azriel, whose brothers of 500+ years could move a mountain more easily than get him to open up, did in fact, open up...

And he was shot down.

Of course, he wasn't going to wax off a lecture about Rhys's suggestion being wrong--because it was Rhys, not Azriel, who suggested entitlement.

Rhys's face drained of color. " You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

Azriel never suggested anything like this. An overwhelmed, distraught Rhys who feared for his mate and unborn child did.

And Azriel shut down, just as he did when he first confessed his feelings to Mor, and immediately abandoned the conversation in favor of silence. Not because he was pissed, or felt he was wronged, but because he saw these moments as validation of his nothingness, proof he was nothing, would always be nothing.

2) "If I Fail, They Will Leave Me" Complex

One thing I think that is important about Azriel's character that is often overlooked is his liberation from his father's dungeon. He wasn't set free when his hands were burned, rather returned to his "dark, airless cell" where was forced to continue on, burned and broken, for three years.

Three bloody years.

It was only when/sometime after his shadowsinging gifts first emerged that he was granted freedom. If you can call it that. Not because he was a little boy who deserved freedom, but because he had magic: a tool of value, a weapon to be used.

And used it was.

We learn from Rhys that Shadowsingers are highly coveted...

"Shadowsingers are rare--coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can't." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

And that Az was sent to the camp only AFTER his gifts were discovered.

"Az's father sent him to our camp once he and his charming wife realized he was a shadowsinger." - Rhys, ACOMAF, Chapter 16

This all goes to say that Azriel's freedom was largely granted because of his magic. What would this say to a literal child? He was only valuable because of his magic, because of what he could do.

And this need to please, this need to serve, and the subsequent fear of failure are very prevalent within Az's character. He runs himself ragged, he brings too much onto his plate, he is so busy he doesn't sleep, he always volunteers to put himself into harm's way because he thinks that is all he has to offer. I suspect his time working as the personal spymaster for Rhys's father might also have contributed to these feelings, but I don't have enough info at current to delve any further into that.

Moving on, all this also goes to combat the "pro-torture" argument I sometimes see. Do I think Azriel loves slicing and dicing? No, not really. Same as Rhys doesn't like breaking into people's minds. I suspect Az sees his work in Hewn City as a similarly necessary evil, something he must do (rather than anyone else) because he is already "tainted", something he has to do to be worthy. Something he does because, regardless of how it makes him feel, provides value to his loved ones. I suspect Az probably feels if he were to stay no, if he were to refuse, then he would be deemed useless, unworthy, and abandoned as a result. Not that this would ever happen, but I think Az probably sees so little value in himself he thinks only his magic and skills are all he can provide his brothers. Not because they don't love and support him, but because years and years of trauma reinforce this idea.

It's really, really heartbreaking if you think about it.

Anywayssss, that's all I have in me for tonight, but I've got a few other points I will be adding to expand this post! I love (civil) fandom discourse, so feel free to drop in thoughts and opinions below.

Thanks for reading this behemoth!

[buckets-and-trees]

Game: match the character with the trope & give a little explanation why you paired them/how you would go about writing that type of fic 🩷

Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale, Ari Levinson & Nick Fowler

Forced proximity, forbidden love, fake dating, hidden identity & arranged marriage

Okay, this was fun, Em! And at least this time I didn't get TOO carried away...

ARI LEVINSON - FORCED PROXIMITY - I don't know... maybe this 2500-imagine-ish pitch that spilled out of my fingers this weekend? Hahaha

BUCKY BARNES - HIDDEN IDENTITY - I think this could happen over many different period of Bucky's life, but I'm especially interested in Bucky on the run after Winter Soldier and before Civil War. I love reading fics that take place during this time, and I've got a fic that I started and need to go back to (and maybe rewrite so I can complete it) that would be him hiding for short periods of time in cabins/rentals/vacation homes as he makes his way out of the DC Metro area those first months after CA:WS and while he's crashed at one particular place, Reader shows up, and they spend a few days or maybe a week together before moving on to the next place (and the next and the next until he eventually ends up in Romania).

RANSOM DRYSDALE - FAKE DATING - When a petition citing some extenuating circumstances/technicalities/the manner in which his confession was coerced/etc, a judge is willing to review it due to Ransom's good behavior (read: MONEY) while he's been serving time, and he gets him out of jail. You are immediately hired to be his Cinderella-image of a girlfriend so he can become the public's wronged and misunderstood Prince Charming because Linda won't have any more bad press - it's affecting all of the family businesses. Why are you willing to take the deal? You came up in an initial pool of suitable eligible females in the local area and it just so happens that one of the editor's at Harlan's publishing house (still overseen by Walt) has been considering one of your novels for publication, and this presents an opportunity for them to sweeten a proposal for this PR relationship by offering you a six-novel publishing deal as long as you maintain the relationship with Ransom for at least 18 months.

NICK FOWLER - FORBIDDEN LOVE - You're a detective working for Interpol. You know the trouble he's caused. Even though he was able to cover up his deeds initially with the CIA, once the Chinese/MSS took him into custody, it all came out. But he's managed to escape. He's managed to find his way to Romania, which is where you just so happen to be stationed now. You worked a case closely with him six years ago in Portugal, and...though you both kept it professional, his charm was undeniable. He had no idea you were in Romania, but he's not mad about that in the slightest now that he's spotted you. He could have some fun with this. Are you ready to play with fire?

STEVE ROGERS - ARRANGED MARRIAGE - In a Steve Stays scenario, if he's going to refuse to be Cap, he's being lobbied to still use his influence and power to help bring some order to this post-Blip society. He went tried to retreat and fade into the background, but things are escalating, and Pepper - who had also tried to stay in the background - is concerned that there are things happening maybe because of their inaction. She's got an idea. She wants to get Steve into political office, and she's going to appeal to his sense of duty (which she can do because it's the guilt she's also feeling). He'll agree because he trusts her judgement. For the best image, he's going to need a wife - this is a harder sell, but - again - he trusts Pepper Potts, he doesn't even need to vet the candidates, because if he's all in on this idea, he'll be all in, and he knows Pepper will pick someone who will fit the bill as his suitable trophy wife. You.

would... well would anyone be interested in any of these if I thought about actually writing them?

[blacklegsanjiii]

I'm having so much thought about Ponyo!Sanji, that I need to tell them to you:

1. If Sabo was brought back to his brothers by Dragon, this would make Sanji and Reiju re-meet way sooner.

2. Since Reiju has powers relateds with venom/poison, I hc that she had a big interest in making poisons. Sanji probaly helped her and also know how to make some, would be funny he using this while hunting with the ASL.

3. Okay, I think you know about the Feral ASL hc right? And this makes sense since they lived in the jungle. But I want to say: Sanji lived only with his family on a hiden sea, he also should be feral naturally.

4. And by Feral, I mean catching fishs or even other animals who live in the water (maybe even little sharks) with his own hands, jumping in the water from high places (this would scare the shit out of the ASL and Makino) and things like that.

5. If Ace, Sabo and Luffy discovered about his water "powers", Sanji probaly would end up telling them from where he really is and the fact he isn't human, actually.

It's been so long since Blue!Sanji was brought up and I truly missed him. I'll go point by point with you.

1. Dragon bringing Sabo to Foosha, not even thinking Luffy will be there and Sabo has no memory so he couldn't tell Dragon and Reiju is the current Sabo wrangler so they run into Sanji, Luffy and Ace. Sabo has his memory coming back to him and Sanji and Reiju are crying at being reunited. Dragon explains who he is to Luffy who is very nonchalant about him because Dragon needs to listen to how cool Shanks is and thanks for bringing Sabo back weird guy.

2. Sanji uses what he remembers from Reiju and his dad about poisons and venoms and using it to hunt the big game they always do. It weirds Sabo out because he hasn't read about these but fuck it, it makes killing the bears and stuff that much easier and it's so good.

3/4. Sanji's mom is basically a god and his father is a "dead" prince and he was raised in the hidden blue. I definitely could see him coming up with a fish in his mouth and just eating it as his dad loses it. The kids have to be like otters using rocks to crack open shellfish. Sanji comes up with a shark at some point to eat and his brothers stare at him in awe. Sanji is just cooking it. Sanji is also just complaining about the small variety.

The four of them looking over a very high cliff with Makino and like Luffy's hat blows off and into the sea and Sanji without thinking dives off and everyone is screaming but then the light has to be tricking them because it looks like the sea is coming up to meet him as he holds onto Luffy's hat and falls into the sea. They rush to the beach and Sanji comes out of the water with the hat and apologizing if it's damaged at all as they all yell that they thought he died or something and Sanji is confused as Makino is checking him over for injuries. He starts doing it regularly and with higher cliffs or having his brothers throw him as hard as they can.

5. ASL finding Sanji one night playing with the water. He's standing on it and giggling to himself as he spins and the water flows with him and covers him. Then he sees ASL and freezes. They are staring at each other, unspeaking until Luffy rubbers Sanji to them and ASL start demanding to know what was going on and how can he do that? Sanji explains his parentage and being from the All Blue. His mother, a guardian is basically a goddess and he and his siblings are the future guardians of the All Blue.

Also imagine how that affects Ace and Sabo in the future? Like Ace meets Niji and is like "I know" and when Sabo regains his memory he finds Reiju and demands to see her manipulate water like Sanji. Also Luffy can't tell a lie to save his life so imagine someone in the Strawhat crew is like "God he's so inhuman with how long he can dive, he's like half fishman" and Luffy is like "well he's a god" and just leaves it at that. When someone approaches Sanji about it he just yells for Luffy and Luffy is like 'shit I'm in trouble!' and bolts.

[yanderes-galore]

Could you PLEASE do something with a Yandere!Nickel with a human fem reader I would love you forever

And/or a human reader with a yandere soundwave and his also equally yandere cassettes would be nice

I am not far enough into MTMTE to properly meet Nickel (I'm trying I'm just slow) so I used the Wiki to help me if that's fine! So I apologize if something ends up wrong, I was also a bit vague with this. I swapped darling's gender since I could not fit it in to the plot, sorry :(

Yandere! Nickel with Human! Darling

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Internal conflict, Kidnapping briefly mentioned, Manipulation, She hates you at first, Obsession, Dubious relationship, Dehumanization, Violence, Trauma, Mentions of death, Threats.

Nickel is a maintenance and medic bot that is a Mini-con.

She has a past with organics, witnessing them murder mechanical beings and her being the only survival brought in by the D.J.D

Safe to say she doesn't like organics and holds a hatred towards them.

This makes an obsession towards a human problematic for her.

She hates organics and expects them all to be vile pests.

That's why she sided with Tarn.

His group is anti-organic.

She's usually really kind and helpful, wanting to take care of those close to her due to her specialty.

She'd probably only like an organic if she saw them being helpful to mechanical beings.

Maybe you're the "human pet" of someone on the Lost Light or something.

That's what many Cybertronians, particularly Decepticons, call you.

You're a pet or a fleshling or whatever....

It's a bit demeaning but you grow used to it.

You most likely help people out on the Lost Light and in some way you end up encountering the D.J.D.

Which means you meet Nickel.

I'd imagine she dislikes you when you first meet.

She doesn't necessarily want to go out of her way to kill you but she just... has a thing against organics for a good reason.

If you gave her some kind of hope that an organic could be good then she relents.

Most of her obsession would take a long time.

She has to get used to this human before she can show any care towards you.

Plus it's all very problematic since D.J.D is one for organic genocide.

Even if Nickel did like you enough to abduct you somehow she'd have to hide you away.

She'd treat you like you're her own guilty pleasure.

Nickel would keep an eye on you if you caught her attention but it would be awhile before she made a move.

She's hesitant to befriending an organic.

It would be like betraying the D.J.D if she took you in so fast.

Part of her feels hypocritical.

Compared to most of the ruthless D.J.D, Nickel is the best to be around.

When you do manage to make her come around she can be caring like she is with the rest of D.J.D.

I feel even when she trusts you, an organic, she still treats you as a pet like other Cons.

She'll baby you and treat you like you can't take care of yourself.

It gives her a sense of power due to her traumatic past.

She's not really mean about it and acts like a caretaker most of the time.

If she did abduct you then she hides you from the rest.

You're a secret pet she cares for while she cares for the D.J.D.

Honestly if the others found out, there's a good chance you're dead.

That is unless Nickel can somehow have Tarn allow her to keep you as a pet, all other organics can go for all she cares.

Not this one... not you.

As OOC as this sounds Tarn may allow your existence because of how stubborn Nickel is with you.

They have a close connection so they can probably make a deal.

Nickel probably wouldn't always be nice towards you, sometimes there's a hint of superiority or an undertone of a threat with her.

You're the only organic that is an exception to her hate.

While she starts cold towards you, showing apathy and disinterest about an organic, it slowly becomes affection.

After watching you, stealing you from the Lost Light, and spending time around you...

She can accept you for what you are.

She knows you aren't capable of harming her or the D.J.D alone.

You won't cause danger if left alive and your life is in her hands anyways.

With lots of time Nickel can accept her adoration for you.

As a Mini-Con she's closer to human size which allows affection to be easier.

She's probably taller than you so she can baby you more.

She is a very mom-like Decepticon so despite her feelings she'd probably like to tease and care for you.

She drags you places, diagnoses you the best she can, she still knows you're fragile and tries not to be rough.

If she did manage to convince Tarn to let you live, escape is difficult.

She'd simply tell him you ran.

Which means you'll either be captured or killed on sight.

It's best you stay a behaved organic if you'd like to keep your life.

Overall, Nickel would take a long time to obsess over a human due to her past.

Yet when she does, she'll treat you as her little human to take care of.

You'll stay right where she wants you, unless you'd like to deal with the D.J.D without her help?