#& HELLA PAINFUL TOO

[bigfatbreak]

Since Fu and his methods have been kinda debated on in this fandom, I've just making sure. Is Marinette over-positiving her memories with Fu since she blames herself for him getting mind-wiped or would he be really scold her on recklessness and taking care of herself?

former. grieving his memory wipe is making any kindness he did seem to gleam like precious stars in her memory, which is making it hit that much harder. she's definitely spiraling around losing him right now, and not seeing the reality that he chose child soldiers to fight a supervillain. he really might've scolded her for being reckless, but nowhere near as lovingly as she's imagining he would - she's putting positive words in his phantom mouth because his loss hurts her more than she's willing to communicate, and its become the cornerstone of her isolation.

[ooogleys]

DRDT SPOILERS IN TAGS!!!!

highkey i would hate being ace markey

[effervescentdragon]

hee hee. piarles + 15 🤭❤️

15. Con Artist and the person who saw through their grift.

'This is the last leg, focus, so all you need to do is-'

"Shut the fuck up," Charles hisses at Lando through his teeth. "I can't be seen talking to myself, and I can't focus with you talking into my - hello, Pierre," he says with a wide smile. He can feel sweat gathering on his forehead, but he refuses to acknowledge it in any way. He's trained himself out of those ticks a long time ago, and the harsh lights and his three-piece ridiculous suit are enough to justify the sweat.

"Hello, cher," Pierre says. He looks lovely, handsome and hot in his tuxedo under the casino lights, like a movie star from those old movies his maman likes to watch. "You look dashing," Pierre continues, and Charles hates the fact that his blush is real and not a ruse. He thanks all the gods no one on his team can see him, because he's sure they'd all know.

"Thank you, Pierre," Charles replies. "Do you want a drink?" He leans back on the bar and gives Pierre his honest, shy smile just as Lando says 'He's so fucking gone on you, it's hillarious'.

Charles is going to punch Lando as soon as the job is done. He sips his martini so as not to grit his teeth. Pierre steps closer to him and Charles can feel the heat of his body as he leans half over Charles to signal the bartender for a drink.

"Of course, Renard," Pierre says. "Do you want a refil?"

Charles does his best not to flinch as he shakes his head. Every time Pierre uses Charles' fake name, Charles wants to scream. It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this was supposed to be like this.

"Suit yourself," Pierre says. His knuckles brush over Charles' hand and Charles supresses - everything. He's a professional. He can get through this without getting attached.

Liar, he thinks. You stupid, pathetic liar. Get yourself together. Pierre isn't the first pretty mark you've worked with.

He is the first and only one that seems to genuinely care, though, a traitorous thought escapes him. He squashes it with a big sip of his martini.

'I think Ricciardo is on his way,' Lando says. 'Seb will be with you in some ten minutes, and then-'

"My boss is on his way," Pierre says. He's close enough to touch Charles and with the way Charles is leaning against the bar, he's forced to look up at Pierre. "So the contract should be signed very soon."

"Good." Charles makes himself smile. "My boss is on his way too." He raises his glass. "I'll just be glad when it's over."

Pierre taps on his glass. "Hmm," he hums. "Yes, I suppose you will." He clinks his glass to Charles'. "You will be going as soon as we're done?"

Charles swallows around the lump in his throat. "Yes," he says. "I need to oversee the development of the compounds we are building and prepare everything for when Mr. Ricciardo comes for the tour."

Pierre hums again. "Yes, indeed." He looks at Charles, and Charles doesn't know how to interpret that look. It's intense, and it feels like Pierre is searching for something in Charles' face.

Except, you're not Charles, he thinks. You're Renard Deveraux, head architect for the seemingly sustainable water filtering factories in India. You're honest, and outgoing, and you're about to seal the deal that will cost Daniel Ricciardo millions and set you up for the next year so you won't have to work. Seb won't call you last minute because he needs a grifter, and you won't have to work with Lando, and you'll never see Pierre again.

Fuck, Charles thinks just as Sebastian walks up to them with Daniel, both of them laughing. "Gentlemen," Seb says in an exaggerated German accent that isn't that far away from his own accent that comes out when he's roo tired to keep up his accent-less English. "Everything alright here?" His eyes flash in Charles' direction but Charles ignores him. He's fine. Everything's fine.

"Of course, Mr. Schmidt," Pierre says. His hand touches Charles' as he moves a bit. He doesn't move it away. It doesn't even occur to Charles to move at all.

"Please, Pierre, call me Johann," Sebastian says with a wide smile. Charles smiles at Daniel, because he's not Charles who is disgusted with the blatant, dark desire he sees in Ricciardo's eyes. He's Renard, who has been flirting with Daniel since they met. Renard, who allowed Daniel into his personal space and hooked him just enough to make the fake deal that Sebastian came up with for the con a certain success.

Pierre inclines his head. "Of course."

Daniel laughs that uncomfortably loud laugh of his. "Alright, alright, we're all friends here, yes? Now let's go sign the deal and then we can party. Right, Renard?"

Charles smiles and hopes it looks seductive enough. "Of course, Mr. Ricciardo," he chuckles. "But business first."

"Just the way I like it," Sebastian adds, and follows Ricciardo towards his office.

Charles is about to follow them, when Pierre grabs him by the arm. Charles tries to keep his breathing steady as Pierre speaks.

"Renard, I-"

Charles can't - he just can't. He steps closer, all the way into Pierre's space, and leans in.

"It's okay," he murmurs, forces himself to smile. "I'll see you in South Africa in a month, okay?"

Pierre looks at every inch of Charles's face, and Charles is in a full three-piece suit but he's never felt as naked as he does now.

"Yes," Pierre finally speaks slowly, meaningful in some way that evades Charles. "You will."

***

They sign the contract. Daniel transfers the millions into an offshore account Lando had set up. They drink a toast, and as soon as it's possible, Charles and Seb excuse themselves and reaffirm the plans of meeting Ricciardo and Pierre in a month. When they finally say goodbye, Charles forces himself not to look back, deapite being able to feel two pairs of eyes on him the whole time, only one of which didn't make him want to either throw up or take a long shower.

They take a cab to the airport together. When Sebastian opens his mouth in front of the terminal as they're smoking a cigarette, Charles shakes his head. "Don't," he asks. "Just... don't." He inhales deeply, the smoke burning his throat and making him dizzy. "Please, Seb. Just... not now."

Seb doesn't try to speak again. His eyes, when they look at Charles, are uncharacteristically sad. He throws away his cigarette, hugs Charles close for a moment, and leaves without another word.

There is nothing left to say. Charles knows who Seb is thinking of; which mark he's thinking of. Charles was there when they conned... well, no matter. It's history, just like this con will be history.

Just like Pierre will become history. Not the man who listened to Charles talk about architecture like it's the most interesting thing in the world when Charles let his guard down and forgot to be Renard. Not the man who told Charles about his own passion for clothes, and the man who shared Charles' interest in old cars and fast cars. Not the man who looked at Charles like he saw him, saw Charles under all the layers his character demanded. Pierre will not be that man; he'll be just another mark in a list of people that Charles conned out of their money and left behind.

Charles smokes three more cigarettes before he goes inside and buys a one way ticket to Panama under the name Peter Freeman. He vowes to punch Alex the next time he sees him for that little dig, then boards the plane and gets just drunk enough to sleep most of the way to Panama.

***

Panama is beautiful, and warm, and colourful, and Charles hates it.

It's been three weeks of sun and sea and alcohol and beautiful people that wanted Charles. The only problem was that the sun burned Charles' skin, and the sea made him feel sad, and the alcohol didn't tase good, and Charles didn't want all those people.

He was pining, and he was annoyed, and he was bored, and he didn't know what to do or how to get over it.

He's sitting at the beach bar, deciding if another cocktail is worth it, when someone sits on the stool next to him.

"This seat taken?"

Charles turns so quickly, he's pretty sure he pulls a muscle in his neck.

"I - what are you doing here?" is all he can say, because he hasn't been this surprised since that job in Azerbaijan ended up with him and Sebastian having to improvise their way out of a drug kingpin's villa. Maybe not even then. Seb always makes risky plans.

"It took me a while to find you," Pierre says. His sunglasses are perched on his head, and his shirt is unbottoned just enough for Charles to see tha cross glinting in the middle of his chest.

Charles swallows. "How?"

Pierre's eyes twinkle. "You know, before I worked for Ricciardo, I had another employer. Nico Rosberg?" he says, and Charles' eyes widen. "Yes, I thought so." He chuckles. "Anyways, long story short is - I quit my job before Ricciardo realised he signed over fifty million for compounds that don't exist, I called Nico, and then I got out of Italy. The worst part was tracking down Schmidt - I mean, Vettel," he said, and Charles was finding it pretty hard to breathe. "Convincing him to talk to me was even harder, but in the end I managed to convince him to give me your location."

"Seb didn't know -" Charles starts to say, then bites his lip at Pierre's chuckle. "Well. You found me."

"I did."

They stare at each other for a moment, and Charles is pretty sure that it isn't the heat making him uncomfortable. He clears his throat.

"So. What now?" he asks, because he doesn't know what to think, or what to feel. Pierre is standing in front of him, after tracking him down to Panama, and he looks like sin and he doesn't look like he's mad at Charles.

Pierre slides off his chair and steps closer into Charles' space. "Now, well. Everything I have planned requires your explicit consent, actually."

The way his eyes roam over Charles' skin is enough to light a fire inside Charles unlike any he's ever felt. He clears his throat again, then remembers something.

"I - I think I will consent to anything you want," he says, cheeks burning under Pierre's gaze. "But I think you should know, well, you probably guessed, but my name isn't Renard."

Pierre makes a final step and Charles can't move. "Oh, I know. I guessed that a long time ago, and I know you probably want to know everything, how and why and all that, but for now," he raises his hand and trails a finger down Charles' arm, leaving goosebumps on Charles' skin, "I think I'd like to do something I've wanted to do ever since I met you." Pierre raises his gaze to look straight into his eyes. "Charles."

Charles doesn't wait a moment more; he can't. He pushes forward and kisses Pierre with everything he's got, and when Pierre's arms wind around his waist, holding him up, he allowsh himself to smile into the kiss and then deepen it, like he's wanted to ever since he first saw Pierre.

They'll figure it out. Pierre is capable, and Charles... Charles is a grifter. He can figure out anything, and right now, he needs to figure out how to make Pierre make that sound again.

[velvetwyrme]

*wakes up suddenly* i am SO much pain rn but i NEED to make a dating sim.

[hanzajesthanza]

i’m ngl it was extremely painful to reread this

[scary-narco-psychopath]

Me when I’m bored: okay chat time to make a new gaping hole in my skin

[nomsfaultau]

SBI SCP AU character playlists

Tommy:

Rose by The Oh Hellos (I mean I'm doing an entire animatic wip, it fits and I have essays to prove it. Anyway violence, the power of names/narratives, truth, hypocrisy, how sacrifice and love tie together.)

Sunken City by David Wirsig (Tubbo associations, mostly symbolic/vibes past the prison break. The euphoria of escaping and how the world beyond is confusing and unrecognizable. The idea of journeying with a friend to the ruins of what was once your life. 6th verse as finding a new home in found family. 'God free me from the burden of my thoughts')

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wives (Tubbo, and how Tommy tries to distance himself to protect them/is the only reason Tubbo stays in a group with people they abhor. Touch starvation, hands as dangerous, seeing himself as a monster/burden. Again. Did an animatic for this one.)

Wilbur (yes they're all by Will Wood for the bit):

Misanthrapologist by Will Wood (Philza, for their light/dark dynamic and untangling of Wilbur's loathing of society and himself. WHiT Constellations interlude. I imagine 'can't keep a straight face while I'm praying' as Phil trying to get Wil to meditate but they end up laughing + 'don't you revolve around someone else' as a chide to Philza post Anderson's death)

Love Me, Normally (If he were honest with himself. Wilbur is wracked with jealousy for humanity that he disguises as hatred. Die young mentality, insomnia, bridge 2 addressed to the void, 'Is it courageous or escapist to leave the quarantine when you’re contagious?' as a comment on the danger of anomalies and if they should be contained)

BlackBoxWarrior (An entire life spent running from the Foundation and their experiments + trauma, repressing the past, general void madness, 'a map to every victim of his love' as the scars the void has left)

The Blade:

Red Water Dreams by Aviators (The sea motif of the voices, being a vessel for The Blood God, finding blame in those who unleashed his apocalyptic revenge. The entire chorus fits so well. 'Vicious thoughts are stirring/And I hunger for their power')

Paralyzed by Aviators (He's just an Aviators boy, what can I say, it's the violence and upbeat tempos man. Really this is The Blood God's song. His challengers as a duty to cull, as he's forced to hunt down every last foe that laid a hand upon his vessel. The thrill of battle, impending doom, 'I will give you one fair chance' because he really does seek a good fight. The Blade is the one paralyzed, unable to do anything but watch as his body is used for destruction)

Turn Out the Lights by The Crane Wives (Because The Blade does actually handle The Blood God/voices pretty well. I feel this song captures the way he just sorta rolls his eyes and shrugs off the intrusive thoughts most of the time)

Philza:

Rule #9 - Child of the Stars by Fish in a Birdcage (Wilbur as a wanderer, but works for any Collected for fostering their growth. Father vibes. Philza raising his children to be strong, independent people. A gentle expectation of greatness, because he picks out the exceptional among humanity)

Hot Tea by Half Alive (His sheer adoration of his Collected, also fun to swap the roles so that it is the god showing devotion. The pure warmth and sweetness matches Philza. In retrospect I need a song about protective violence but eh I set a 3 song limit.)

Time Machine by Miracle Musical (Amnestic arc. Particularly with loneliness and the vehemence in 'look at what you've done now to me', as well as 'I'm leaving today, today' with his confused insistence that he leaves at the end of the week. The way Philza is dragged in and out of grief at the whims of the Foundation, left free floating and disorientated)

Tubbo:

Soap by The Oh Hellos (Actual perfect Tubbo song. WHiT Croplands interlude. Themes of pacifism, how Tubbo is made of pieces, the separation between humans and anomalies and how the Hivemind can cross that barrier. Learning when to let go/hold on with the Tommy, Hive members, Willow. The 2nd chorus as Rhodes trying to convince Tubbo to leave Tommy in Jasper, with the response of 'I think that you’re worth (keeping around/holding onto)' to both Rhodes and Tommy's Never Love an Anchor. And imagining Tubbo saying the last stanza to Tommy makes me so soft)

Escapism by Rebecca Sugar (Dissociation. Grey chapter in general, specifically Pewter for being firm in convictions: 'shouldn't show a trace of doubt' and telling Rosalind the sacrifice won't hurt them, as well as trying to force a dissociative episode when their hand is sawed off)

Saint Bernard by Lincoln (ok this is a troll but also fits well for Cinnabar and Old Gauze. The guilt of failing one's morals. Technically Tubbo is in Indiana satanic and chained up, but I'll let it slide. The Saint Calvin verse is so good for the Rhodes-Tommy tension + Foundation destroying families. Also the way Tubbo blames their self-loathing on Rosalind, making the chorus apt for the Hivemind mess) (but also its funny to give Tubbo the classic edgy character song)

(Bonus) Dr. Blake:

Take Me to War by The Crane Wives (She sees herself as forced to be ruthless to survive against powerful anomalies. 'And I'll rankle the beasts with words' for her manipulation. Also epithets in the dehumanizing way the Foundation avoids names. Verse 3 is Tubbo 'corrupting' the guards when they saved humans from Philza)

Solaria, Kevin / End-World Normopathy by GHOST (Tommy, with religious themes and verse 5/Kevin understood as The Blood God. The cold cruelty of the Foundation, sentience as a failure/flaw in a tool (Tommy), Dr. Blake completely separating her personal and professional selves because to have humanity is only a weakness anomalies will exploit. 'Though you’ll never die, you’ve found that/All eyes are staring at your hands' is an absolutely perfect line for summoning sessions)

[hella1975]

'the final pages of the report include a few interesting details. they note that every hero at the scene explicitely said that no work study students participated in the fight against shigaraki. our part was erased from the record. that denial is the only reference to me, kacchan and todoroki in the entire document' IM SORRY? THE VILLAINS ARE RIGHT DOWN WITH HEROES. DENYING THEIR PART WHILE THEY'RE LITERALLY BEING WHEELED TO HOSPITAL UNCONSCIOUS? WHEN THE FIGHT WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST WITHOUT THEM? WHY DID KIDS NEED TO BE ON THE BATTLEFIELD ANYWAY AND THEN AFTERWARDS WHY ARE YOU MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE LEGALITY OF IT THAN THE PART THEY PLAYED? i hope you all die

[rowanthestrange]

Guess who lost his first tooth yesterday!

The beginning of freedom from the Shark Teeth!

[masochismustango]

Doug - AKA Buddy - the squirrel is my new spirit animal in terms of constant anxiety and mistreatment

[rescuefield-arch1]

for some reason i can't find the post ( begging tumblr to work just for one day ) but yeah thinking again about how one of claire's irises is slightly red in a permanent way after DI

[caffeinatedopossum]

Wtf even is self care when you're chronically ill? What do you do when everything hurts you and you can't get help?

[agayconcept]

i have my next HRT / gender affirming care appt today wish me luck ✌️🏳️‍⚧️🧃

[lunaetis]

@solaetis asked :

"Now, don't give me that mournful look. It's true that in some ways I've been 'outsmarted', in the end I was able to get the gnosis, is that not so? Meanwhile, the lot of you are rotting here with the self-same dissatisfied look as if your contributions to the cause are infallibale. Well, Arlecchino, let's hear what your lips can concur at this moment. Certainly you've concerns to raise. If your knotted brows could speak for you, it would." - Dottore

unprompted. || always accepting

─「アルレッキーノ」─ the moment she saw his face, the VERY MOMENT the words of the news had left his lips, the knave no longer was processing anything else that followed after. she didn't even know what kind of expression she was making for the other to still be talking as though nothing happened. perhaps, in his mind, in this one's mind, it didn't feel like anything was wrong. sure enough, it didn't. it was an EXCHANGE, wasn't it ? whether it was fair or not, that was the least of his concern. as he said, he was able to get the GNOSIS.

but at what cost ?

without warning, the knave had violently slammed the form of the second harbinger against the wall behind them, hard enough for the SURFACE to almost crack under the impact itself as cross-shaped pupils quivered uncontrollably, if the way her gloved hands clenched against his clothing didn't tell of that already.

" HOW DARE YOU — " seething fury was obvious in her murderous tone, teeth gritting so hard that her jaws were hardened and her eyes FLASHED a blood-dripping color of crimson in surge of her power and his movements were TEMPORARY PARALYZED. she held herself back, however, even though all she could think of was to literally rip his throat out with her hands. arlecchino was shaking in PURE RAGE, gloved digits wrapping themselves around the column of his neck. like a beast baring her fangs in a violent growl.

how dare. how dare. how dare !!

a kind of violence that served as a retaliation for the GRIEF and heartbreak she was experiencing. all of it. all because of him.

" BRING HIM BACK. "

he was mine. mine.

[milfzun]

Unfortunately the shiny new e-reader I impulse-bought is not as good as my 4-year-old e-reader.

So. I impulse-bought another one that took up my entire fun-spending budget for January! On day one! My financial choices are off to a great start this year!

[yumichikah]

He is partaking in Sinday.