#[ the difficult thing is that i have this feeling like i always need to be more coherent on the dashboard and sometimes certain... ]

[fischotterkunst]

👆👆👆 well said! I really think OP’s third point is where capitalism really inhibits a lot of people’s ability to put this into action. it’s the boots theory: “people in poverty have to buy cheap and subpar products that need to be replaced repeatedly” ie poor people can’t afford to buy as much reusable stuff, which is objectively higher quality material, and so by necessity instead go for the cheaper disposable plastic, which wears out and will inevitably need to be replaced. Thrifting - and, of utmost importance, ensuring that gentrification doesn’t make that unachievable - is a fantastic bridge to close that price gap between cheap, disposable stuff and expensive but reusable stuff.

Another thing i think is really important is that, while many individuals following the triple-R principles DOES make a difference, it is critical to remember that the majority of waste is perpetuated by corporations. I don’t know the exact numbers but your average fast food restaurant is throwing away more waste than a small neighborhood combined. At this point, there are plenty of sustainable, biodegradable materials readily and cheaply available that are not being utilized by corporations that by nature produce massive amounts of waste. On top of that, i don’t believe i’ve ever seen a recycling bin in a McDonalds. maybe that’s a coincidence and some of them do offer that option (i admittedly don’t go to McDonald’s very often), but i dont think its a stretch to assume they’re not really trying.

How does one put this into action? For my first point, there’s not a lot the individual can do against late-stage capitalism, but thrifting itself is the main action we can take. Additionally, don’t support influencers who buy large amounts of thrifted material to create fads and cause scarcity/price spikes for those who actually need it (remember the fad of influencers buying plus-sized clothes en masse, cutting them up, and calling it “upcycling” even though they absolutely did not need to buy plus-sized in the first place, and created a scarcity of plus-sized clothes in thrift stores for some areas?). Don’t watch their videos, and don’t follow them/subscribe to them. Remember that many platforms offer the option to monetize views/follower count, so it DOES matter.

In regards to corporate waste, the distribution of wealth again is a major part of this problem. Anyone with a single brain cell to their name knows that Americans in poverty eat more fast food not because we’re “lazy” or don’t care about our health, it’s because it’s cheaper and often more accessible (both in terms of location - food deserts are a topic for a different post - and the simple fact that many people in poverty are working multiple jobs and don’t always have time to cook meals) than higher-quality food. Try to put your money into restaurants that offer reusable or biodegradable eating utensils, and consider bringing your own reusable eating utensils so you can skip the plastic/disposable ones when you go to a fast food joint.

I really think that corporate America makes reducing and reusing difficult deliberately because of OP’s point that recycling is beneficial to capitalism. It’s going to take the effort of many individuals coming together to change that. If you feel like just one drop of water in the ocean, don’t forget that a steady drip can wear away stone over time. Make the effort where you can, and encourage people around you to do the same. We’re in this together!

Remember "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" ? I feel like there's been a distancing from the "reduce" and "reuse" part and a favoritism towards "recycle" by corporate American.

Capitalism can still thrive with recycling in the mix. You buy Plastic Thing 1, throw it away after one use, and they take that and recycle it into Plastic Thing 2 and sell it back to you. All while continuing to harm the environment.

Reusing puts a damper on things. They can't sell you Plastic Thing 2 when you're still using Plastic Thing 1. Plastic forks, for example- there is literally no reason why you can't reuse plastic forks more than once (aside from maybe microplastics, but it's too late for that)

Reducing is the one everyone wants to ignore. Just don't buy Plastic Thing 1. You don't need Plastic Thing 1. Pick up a set of metal forks and use those for years. Convenience is killing the planet

[cloudedangels]

Dr’s Orders 18+

⋆⁺₊❅。

You (f reader) are ovulating, but you can't bring yourself to request what you really need… Dr. Zayne has a treatment plan for that... luckily! ● ≈4,025 words ughggh ● probably needs proofreading ● adult!!! ● mdni!!!

Tags and cw: ovulation!: the plot device, zayne, dr zayne cures you of your horny disease kinda, piv, oral (f receiving), mostly sex no plot, in the hospital of all places!, creampie, multiple rounds, fingering, established relationship implied, self indulgent smut— you know the drill

a/n: this SUCKED to write omg omg im freee you can probably tell my sauce was running out... this mostly SUCKED to write bc I am on my period a week and a half early (???) & I have 1 endometriosis (,: this is also my first time writing zayne which i hope gets better bc he's my pretty lil baby, I need him [redacted].

Go bunnie.

▪︎ next up:

☆caleb's very late birthday fic

☆extended leave pt six

☆hubby!zayne drabble

vibrator series pt 3 and pt 4

⋆⁺₊❅。

⋆⁺₊❅。⋆⁺₊❅。⋆⁺₊❅。⋆⁺₊❅。

Zayne isn’t blind.

He sees the way your legs cross tighter than usual, the way your hand lingers too long on the hem of your sleeve, picking at threads like you're trying not to crawl out of your skin.

You’d stared at the closed door to his office ten times today. Every time you almost knocked, your throat had closed up. Your fingers fiddle with the edge of your sleeve again, tugging it just a little too hard until it bunches in your palm. The scent of antiseptic clings to the air, mixing with your own faint perfume, and it makes your stomach twist like a knot you can’t undo.

You'll just sit in his office and wait for him to get off as always.

And... when you see him, you're all off.

Zayne however… he knows exactly what day it is. Five days post-period. Right on schedule. He does the math in his head because, well, of course he does. He’s a surgeon. He keeps track of things.

He doesn’t mention it, not aloud. He just watches you try to wrestle yourself into stillness like you're trying to outwit your own body. He can feel it in the air—how needy you are, how tightly wound. You think you're subtle, but Zayne knows tension better than most. He lives in it and operates through it. And you're practically vibrating with it. The sterile, slightly cold office smells faintly of antiseptic and leather. Outside, the dull hum of hospital noises lingers beyond the closed door.

You won’t ask him. Not directly. Maybe you think you’re being polite. Maybe you're afraid he’ll be embarrassed. But he’s not the one squirming in a rolling chair in his office, trying to fight biology and failing.

Still, you don’t ask. You want to ask, but your voice feels small, unsure. You’ve always tried not to be a bother, this relationship is only recently sexual... but now, not asking feels like self-denial. But you can't.

So he shifts his strategy. If you won't ask him, shouldn't he ask you for a favor? That'd work wouldn't it?

He’s quiet for too long. Not in the usual way. In the way that makes your stomach twist. He’s calculating something, staring at your lips like they hold some equation he hasn’t quite solved. You feel it before he speaks—something shifting in him. Something about to snap loose? He flushes as he turns to you, words falling out like dominos.

“I need to finger you.”

His words hang in the air, clinical but sudden... like he’s trying to convince himself as much as you. His jaw's tightening briefly, a twitch of the muscle betraying the calm he’s trying to maintain. His eyes flicker down to your lips like he’s memorizing their shape… a calculation paused mid-equation.

You blink. “What?”

Your heart hammers a little faster. You want to protest, but your throat feels dry and thick, and your body answers before your brain can catch up. There's heat pooling low and insistent.

Zayne clears his throat lightly, deadpan as ever. “Desperately. I'm, ah—struggling. It’s been difficult to focus. All I can think about is the sound you make when you come. So.” He tilts his head slightly. “This is for medical reasons. Mine. Urgent.”

You're trying to make sense of this, he's usually so much more put together than this… you're so horny you don't want to deny him but… You’ve never heard him stumble like this—not even when talking you through surgical risks or listing medications. Zayne is precision incarnate. So when his voice falters, it knocks the air out of you.

“I mean… if you want, I could give you—”

“No.” He cuts you off, eyes narrowing slightly. The room seems to shrink around you. The hum of the fluorescent light overhead blurs into a steady drone as your pulse hammers in your ears. His steady gaze pins you in place, and your breath catches.

“I’m not joking. The only thing that's going to help me is your thighs on my shoulders and my fingers inside you. Repeatedly. I need to make you come, and I need to taste you while I do it. That’s the only thing that’s going to help.”

You stare at him, throat dry. “You... need... that.”

“Yes,” he says, perfectly serious. “Badly. Like, clinically.”

A beat passes. Then another.

“You’re—” you try to say something clever, but it falls flat against the heat surging in your gut.

“I’m what?” he murmurs, stepping closer. “Depraved? Professional? Pathetic?”

You whisper, “Perfect.”

Zayne exhales once through his nose, the closest he gets to smiling when he’s trying not to lose composure. There’s a twitch in the corner of his mouth, and his hand comes up—Hesitant and precise, it brushes your cheek.

“So it’s alright, then?” he says, voice softer now. “If I... lose control. Just a little… With you...”

You nod before he even finishes the sentence.

And just like that, your quiet, unbearable need—masked in silence and polite restraint—crashes into his own. His eyes flicker with something unreadable—pain, longing, something deeper. For a moment, neither of you move. Then, slow and deliberate, his fingers curl around your wrist, pulling you closer. The sharp tang of antiseptic mingles with the warm, powdery scent of his cologne, a strange but intoxicating combination that makes your breath hitch.

His lips press into yours soft and patient, and with the easy state you're in, you're already letting out a soft whimper when he kisses you with such gentleness... touches you with such wanting. You're caving into him as he pulls back, begging silently for more of his lips and the powdery scent of his cologne.

He sinks to his knees, not because you asked, but because he did. Thank God.

You’re still blinking down at him, standing with your breath shallowed, as if waiting for him to laugh and walk out. But he doesn’t. He just reaches—fingers confident, deliberate—and taps once against your knee.

“Up,” he says softly. “Come on. Be good for me. Legs over the exam table.”

You obey because you always do. But also because the way he looks at you—precise, studied, patient—makes disobedience feel impossible. Punishable, even. You scoot back on the padded surface, letting your legs fall apart, and you swear his pupils dilate just slightly.

The paper beneath your thighs crinkles loudly—embarrassingly—like it dislikes what you’re doing. The scent of antiseptic cuts through the heat in your blood. Even your shirt feels too tight, too rough. The overhead lights hum, too bright, too sterile. You feel exposed and examined. Everything feels like too much… except him.

He hums. It’s not amusement, not quite. It’s approval.

“Perfect positioning. Should’ve let me do this days ago. You’re—” He clicks his tongue once. “Edging into clinical negligence, keeping me from a treatment this vital.”

His hands are warm. Sterile. Methodical. He touches you like he’s mapping nerve endings. His thumbs press into the crease of your thighs, spreading you further. He studies you like you’re a case study, a problem he already knows how to solve but enjoys solving again anyway.

You're shaking. “And this… is... for you?” You mutter, a whisper of disbelief mixed with pleasure.

“Yes. Yes, and I want you to know,” he murmurs as he leans in, “that I’m not improvising. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Thoroughly.”

Then he licks. Just once—slow, flat-tongued, exploratory. You jerk. He doesn’t flinch. Just shifts closer.

“Mhm,” he murmurs clinically, like he’s tasting for acidity in a dish. “As suspected.”

Another swipe. This time more pressure, more purpose. His hands keep you open, one sliding up to rest gently over your abdomen, steadying you. He moans low in his throat—not theatrical, not showy. A slip of sound, as if he forgot he could be heard.

“You’re already so sensitive,” he mutters, kissing you now, more deliberately. “This’ll take a while. Let me work. I will get everything I need from you soon enough.”

His tongue moves in slow, studied patterns. Up. Down. Spiral. Pause. A flick. A suck. He’s collecting data—what makes you twitch, what makes you sigh, what makes you gasp and grab at the table’s edges. Every time you make a sound, he shifts technique slightly. Filing it away. Adjusting. Repeating.

He doesn’t speak much. When he does, it’s all under his breath—clinical, praising, a little condescending, always devoted.

“There you go. That’s it.”

“More of that, Yes?”

“Don’t hold your breath so much. Let it happen.”

When you finally whimper out a guttural, cracked open sound, he looks up. His lips and chin glisten as he simply says, “Good. That’s one.”

As if you’re just getting started. (Because you are.) He doesn’t let up. Not even close.

He pushes in slow, deliberate. Controlled. Like he’s watching a monitor for vitals, measuring every reaction, every tremor in your body.

You gasp, nails curling against the padded table. He groans softly—a man adjusting to pressure, to heat, to you.

“God,” you whisper, already clenching. “I needed this. I—fuck, Zayne, I needed this so bad—”

“I can tell,” he murmurs, calm as ever, even as his hips settle flush against yours. “Should’ve said something sooner.”

You moan, full of frustration and want and something dangerously close to tears.

“I couldn’t. I didn’t wanna be—” You break off, panting. “Didn’t wanna bother you.”

He stills inside you. Eyes sharp. Lips parted. And then he exhales—long and quiet, like he’s biting back some deeper emotion. Maybe regret. Maybe guilt.

“You’re not a bother,” he says, low. “You never are.”

His hips roll just slightly, testing, coaxing, sending heat racing up your spine.

“If anything...” His hand slides up your side, over your ribs, soothing, grounding. “I should’ve made time for this earlier. This…” he thrusts a little deeper, “...this seems like an urgent need.”

You whimper under him. “Zayne, I—fuck, I want—”

“What do you want?”

Your face burns. Your voice shakes. But you can’t keep it in anymore.

“I want you… you to breed me... please.”

The silence after is thick.

He’s still.

Something unravels in his expression then. It’s not just arousal—it’s longing. A wish he hadn’t let himself form until you gave it voice, like he almost wants your regret. But he nods, like that need—raw, hormonal, messy—isn’t foreign to him. Like it’s the same one clawing up his own spine.

Then, slowly—gently—he fucks into you harder. Once. Twice.

“Oh,” he says quietly. “That’s what this is about...”

You’re babbling now, eyes glassy, breath hitching.

“I—I want it. I want to feel full, I want you to come inside, I want to know it’s yours—even if it’s stupid, even if it’s just my body wanting—I don’t care, I need it, please—”

Zayne brushes a hand over your cheek, thumb catching your tears before they can fall.

“It’s not stupid.”

His voice is calm. Assured. Loving in a way that makes your chest ache.

“You’re ovulating. Your hormones are spiking. Your body’s wired for this. And you’re safe with me.”

He leans over you, mouth brushing your ear.

“Anything you ever need,” he murmurs, voice rough now, strained with emotion and restraint, “you can ask me for it. Anything.”

He pulls almost all the way out, then pushes in deep—slow, worshipping.

“Especially this.”

You cry out for him again, voice cracking, and he just keeps moving, steady and full, fucking you like it’s a promise. His body warm, his voice steady, his heart loud in your ear.

“You feel so good… you wanna be bred, my love?” he whispers. “I’ll give you everything. Fill you up so deep your body won’t know anything else but mine. I like being the only one… who can fix this… problem for you.”

That's spins you undone, and when you come again—hard, sobbing his name, clenching around him like your body’s trying to keep him inside—he follows: gasping once, then going silent as he spills into you, deep and long, trembling.

Helping.

Fixing the problem.

He stays inside you for a while. Long enough that the tremble in your thighs evens out, that the ache in your belly softens from frantic to full. His hand is on your hip, steady, his breath slowing against your neck. You feel him soften inside you, but he doesn’t move to pull out, he just wraps his hand around your thigh, thumb tracing light circles. It’s as if he is still measuring your pulse through your skin.

You’re dazed. Fucked open and flushed and barely remembering where you are. He presses a kiss just below your ear. Quiet and close.

“Still with me?” he murmurs, one hand stroking your thigh like he’s grounding both of you. “Let me know if you’re dizzy. I got you.”

You nod, finally feeling like you can think with more than that warm beat between your thighs.

“…Fixed it,” he murmurs after a moment.

You let out a small, breathless laugh. “That was your treatment plan?”

“Highly effective,” he says, deadpan. “Minimal side effects. Patient satisfaction… presumed high.”

You hum and blink up at him, lips still parted. He’s looking at you, really looking, and not in the way doctors are trained to. There’s nothing detached about it now.

Then, with that surgeon’s steadiness, he pulls out slowly—so careful it makes you ache all over again—and reaches for the drawer on the wall behind you. Pulls out a warm towel like this is just another cleanup post-op.

You twitch when he touches you. Sensitive. Spent. He murmurs a soft apology, even as his hands stay precise, wiping you clean with unhurried tenderness.

“You didn’t have to do all that,” you whisper.

He glances at you. “You didn’t ask. So I had to improvise.”

You smile faintly. “You’re not mad I didn’t say anything?”

He tosses the towel aside. “I’m not mad.”

Then, more softly:

“However…I just wish you trusted me to help you. Even with this. Especially with this.”

His hand brushes your thigh again, this time more to comfort than assess. “You never have to handle it alone.”

You swallow hard, your throat suddenly thick.

“I didn’t know how,” you say.

“I’ll teach you,” Zayne murmurs. “Next time, say what you need. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you. Maybe not of everything but… what I can.”

You nod, quiet.

Then he leans in again, pressing a final kiss to your collarbone. A prescription written into the touch of your skin.

And beneath it all, his voice—calm, knowing, clinical as ever:

“This appointment is incomplete, but before I continue, let's plan? Follow-up appointment… same time next cycle?”

He’s hardening again, the heat of him pressing against you, but his lips stay impossibly soft where they meet your skin. His fingers glide over you with such careful tenderness it almost aches, like he’s afraid to break something fragile inside you. His breath stutters in his throat, and when he finally looks up at you, his eyes are full of something quiet, something desperate.

“What do you want?” he asks, voice low and steady, his fingers curling around yours as if to anchor your body to him.

You swallow, heart pounding in your chest, the moment making your voice shaky. “Please… don’t stop. Not yet. Let me have this—let me have you—while you’re here, before you go back to work... before the surgeries take you away again.”

He nods slowly, swallowing hard, as if hearing that pulls something out of him. You’re full of his cum, in his office, and yet still... you want more.

“I want to care for you,” he says softly, almost like a prayer. “Let me take care of you—let me make you feel okay…”

Your breath catches, your eyes stinging. There's something in his voice—something soft, like you're worshipped. It undoes you. You nod, too overcome to speak, and he leans in to kiss you again, slower this time. A worshipful kind of kiss, one that tells you that he means it. All of it.

His hand slides between your legs, gentle, deliberate. He murmurs something you don’t catch against your cheek, and then his fingers are inside you—slow, coaxing, curling just right—and the stretch pulls a gasp from your throat.

“You’re still so wet,” he whispers, half in awe. “Still so full of my seed… and you want more?”

You whimper, your head tipping back against the couch. The way he touches you now feels different—like it’s not just about pleasure anymore, but about memory. Preservation.

“I don’t wanna forget how you feel,” he says, thumb brushing over your clit in slow, hypnotic circles. Your hips twitch under his hand, overwhelmed by the desire he builds in you. It's all too much—his voice, his touch, the heat of his body wrapped around yours—but you don’t want him to stop. God, you never want him to stop.

“I won’t let you,” you breathe. “I’ll remember for both of us.”

His mouth is on you again, but not your lips this time—his head drops lower, kissing a trail down your sternum, your stomach, until he’s kneeling between your legs.

“I want to taste you,” he says, voice rough with need. “Let me show you how good you are. How much I want you…You're doing me a favor really…”

He slips his fingers deeper, slow, deliberate, curling gently as he watches your breath hitch. You’re trembling under his touch, the way you’re spread out like a secret made just for him. His mouth moves close, breath hot against your skin.

“You’re the softest, sweetest flower,” he murmurs, voice low and thick with something between awe and need. “And I’m the luckiest man, right here, right now.”

His fingers flex inside you, teasing the spots that make you catch your breath and squeeze your thighs tight. Even after he’s already filled you once, the way he strokes and presses—there’s no doubt his desire is just as alive as yours, hungry and aching. He’s hard beneath you, the heat pressing close as he lets you feel it, a teasing promise of everything he wants.

“I told you it was for me,” he breathes, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “But really... this? It’s for both of us.” His hips shift, grinding slowly against you, the movement sending a new wave of fire through your body.

He leans down, mouth tracing a slow, burning path from your collarbone to your shoulder, lips parting just to whisper, “You make me need you. God, you make me need you so bad.”

His hands tighten around your hips as he pulls you just a little closer, filling the space between you with a quiet, fierce hunger. His fingers don’t stop, circling, curling, coaxing your body to respond again and again.

“Keep still for me,” he commands softly, voice rough like he’s holding back something fierce. “You’re mine right now. Every sigh, every shiver... it’s mine to take… I will be… your medicine…”

You’re gasping by the time he lowers his head again, mouth capturing yours in a deep, consuming kiss, and the taste of him—wanting, claiming—makes you lose the last grip you had on control.

His body is all fire and weight pressing down on you, filling the spaces inside you you didn’t even know were empty until now.

“More,” he whispers between kisses. “Always more.”

And you’re his, completely. The ache inside you answered at last.

His rhythm builds, fingers still buried deep while his other hand cradles your face—thumb brushing slow circles across your cheek, grounding you in the chaos he’s coaxing from your body. Every stroke inside you is purposeful, practiced, but full of reverence, like he’s trying to memorize you from the inside out.

“Look at me,” he says, not quite a whisper, not quite a command. Just enough to send heat licking down your spine. “I want to see you when you come undone.”

And you do—eyes wide and glassy, lashes fluttering as your breath stutters. The sight of you like this makes him groan, low and hoarse, hips jerking just slightly, betraying how close he is to the edge too, even though he hasn’t taken you fully again yet.

His fingers still, just enough to make you whimper. He presses a kiss to your jaw, then your mouth, as if that could quiet the ache.

“I could live here,” he murmurs into your lips. “Right here, inside you, around you... forever.”

Then he shifts, slow and careful, pulling his fingers free with a wet sound that makes your whole body tighten. He holds your gaze as he brings those same fingers to his mouth, tongue curling around them with a filthy sort of tenderness, eyes half-lidded, like tasting you is sacred.

“You, my dear, officially drive me undeniably insane,” he says, voice wrecked with want. “And I don’t wanna be sane again. Not so soon...”

When he finally sinks into you, it’s with a desperate groan that breaks right through you—thick and deep, every inch stretching you open like a promise. The burn is beautiful, the pressure perfect, and your body arches to meet him like it was made to.

He doesn’t rush. He moves—slow, rolling thrusts that keep you trembling, pinned under him and worshiped at once. His forehead presses to yours, sweat-slick and trembling, and for a moment he just stays there—buried inside you, eyes fluttering shut as your pulse thrums between you.

“You feel like heaven,” he breathes, and then again, “Mine.” Like he needs you to hear it more than once.

And when he starts to move in earnest, it’s with the kind of slow devastation that leaves nothing untouched. Every stroke drags a sound from your throat, every grind of his hips makes your legs shake. He’s whispering again, praise and filth mixing on his tongue:

“So tight for me. So fucking good, after this you'll learn to ask, okay? I could stay like this all night. Just you. Just us. I'll spend every break just like this, or with a mind filled with it.”

And maybe that’s exactly what you want too—him, again and again, until the world fades and all that’s left is the rhythm of his body in yours and the fire he keeps stoking, endless and aching.

He moves again, deeper this time, more sure. Not fast—not yet. But he rocks into you with the patience of a man obsessed with detail, addicted to the small shifts of your body around him, attuned to every gasp and flutter.

Your eyes roll back as you clench down, and he groans—sharp and breathless, the only crack in his otherwise impenetrable restraint.

“Fuck—tight,” he mutters, head bowing slightly. “That’s it, sweetheart. Let me feel it. That’s what I need.”

There’s nothing clinical in his voice now. It’s reverent. Hungry.

His hands are everywhere—on your hip, your thigh, pressed over your chest like he wants to memorize the stutter of your heart. You’ve never seen him like this—undone and focused, devoted. Not just having sex with you, but learning you, like you’re anatomy he wants to master, muscle and nerve and heat.

Your orgasm builds again—second? third? You’ve lost count—rising fast like a tidal wave you can’t hold back.

Zayne notices. Of course he does.

“You’re close.” It’s not a question. “Let it happen. You’re safe. You’re good. You’re mine to take care of.”

That breaks you.

You cry out, raw and sharp, body arching under him as you fall apart with a helpless sob. He takes all of it—every pulse and tremor—and doesn’t stop moving, like your pleasure is the only thing keeping him alive.

He presses his forehead to yours as you shake, still holding you, still inside.

You barely have breath to whisper it: “You really needed this?”

He laughs softly—warm, breathless, wrecked. “No... yes but,” he kisses your knuckles as he admits. “But you did.”

He kisses you—slow, deep, filled with a sweetness that makes your chest ache.

Then he adds, quiet and unshakable: “But I wanted to be the one who gave it to you.”

You blink up at him, throat tight.

“Was that... alright with you?” he asks softly. “Dr’s orders... and all.”

You smile, dazed. “Might need a follow-up appointment.”

His smirk—barely there, tired, pleased—makes your heart flutter.

“I’ll clear my schedule.” ⋆⁺₊❅。

MASTERLIST WITH ALL MY FICS

🐇my bunnies: ((comment or reblog with a 🐇 emoji to get added to the taglist for everything I write)): @starryeyed-apple @asiatic-apple

☃️snowflakes: ((just comment or reblog with a ☃️ emoji of you only want the Zayne fics only taglist)):

[celestiaras]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ huntrix idol spotted having a romantic lunch date?! ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by ✨ anon ˚₊ ⊹

ft. rumi, zoey, mira (separate) x f! reader — kpop demon hunters

╰₊✧ you’re just trying to go on a peaceful date with your girlfriend, but nosy reporters have the tendency to get in the way┊1.3k words

contains: secret established relationship, paparazzi, reader isn't an idol

➤ author's note: my writing is really rambly and i kinda went off prompt, i’m sorry feel free to send in something else T-T

trying to juggle the busy life of a worldwide sensation kpop idol while also secretly dating someone outside of that atmosphere isn’t for the weak, but your girlfriend promises that all the struggles that come with it are worth the reward of being with you and having an ounce of privacy. most of your dates are restricted to the privacy of her dorm, usually consisting of much-needed cuddling on the couch time with snacks and an action movie after a long day of practice or a make-shift candle-lit dinner where you’re probably eating delicious take out (none of these girls can cook for the life of them, except for rumi, but she can’t make anything more complex than spaghetti). while always content with your simple romance life, when the special day of your anniversary arrives, your girlfriend is insistent on doing something different, even if it requires planning a stealth mission to reach your destination unseen. 

since she has one of the most recognizable face and hair in the nation as well as having huntrix posters plastered everywhere, dressing up in a baggy jacket, medical mask, and sunglasses are a must to cover up as much as possible (it looks suspicious as first, but once she actually leaves the house, it’s surprising how no one cares enough to spare a second glance). once you arrive at the restaurant she made the reservation at, she reluctantly takes off the oversized clothing to reveal a more appropriate outfit to be granted entry and is escorted inside, but it’s difficult to ignore the shocked looks the other guests are giving her with you following closely behind. 

as you settle in and enjoy your meals, the sudden sound and sight of a camera flash interrupts your peace. it appears one of the other customers has tipped off some of the major celebrity news outlets as reporters and their cameras press against the glass windows trying to get a shot of what’s going on, knowing that the rose in the center and loving looks exchanged meant more than a lunch between friends…

━━━ .°˖✧ rumi!! ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ the best out of the three at not drawing any attention to herself on the way there. she minds her own business, knowing the best way to go unbothered is to remain hidden and to blend in with people around her. she plans out the route to get to the restaurant, point “a” to point “b,” holding your hand the entire time. 10/10, you successfully managed to go completely undetected! 

╰₊✧ when she notices the reporters, the first thing she does is sigh and think of the best way to get rid of them. although she doesn’t acknowledge their presence, the strained look on her face tells all that there needs to be said. rumi would likely make a deal with them, they could come inside and take a few good photos (with your permission, obviously) then they need to beat it.

“i feel awful,” she muttered, playing with her food using her chopsticks while deep in thought. “this was my idea to come out here, but now we've been found out and everyone knows when we’ve been working so hard to keep it a secret…”

“hey! don’t worry about it, it’s not that big of a deal,” you assured, reaching out to hold her hand in yours, “they’re gone now, so let’s just enjoy the rest of the night, okay?”

╰₊✧ even though the cat is out of the bag, rumi still can’t help but be a little skittish about it. her privacy is something she values a lot, and having one of her secrets exposed to the public makes her nervous about her other secret being revealed as well. not much in the relationship will change, except she might be even more tense than usual about going out together, so give it some time before she relaxes and is willing to loosen up about it.

━━━ .°˖✧ zoey!! ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ the worst out of the three at not drawing any attention to herself on the way there. it’s not a normal outing, it’s a date with her girlfriend! the stress gets to her, and she might not be as subtle as she thinks she’s being, her behavior being comparable to a ninja student on their first day of class. 5/10, attracted a lot of attention, but at least no one recognized her and you got a big laugh out of it!

╰₊✧ when the cameras start flashing and reporters start asking questions, she struggles to ignore them because she’s nothing if not a people pleaser and doesn’t want to hurt any of their feelings by ignoring them. of course, you come first, and if you’re uncomfortable with it, she will dismiss them immediately (to the best of her ability, she feels so guilty), but if you give her the go-ahead, then she’ll probably host an impromptu interview right then and there.

“we met during one of our shows! she was my make-up artist, and i swear, it was love at first sight when she did my eyeshadow— like, wow, fireworks! she’s so gorgeous, i have to ask for her number, right now!”

you couldn’t help but smile at her words, heat rushing to your face as you laughed, “the fireworks are probably an overexaggeration—”

“nuh uh! it was like the fourth of july back in the us!

her passionate rambling about how much she adored you won the hearts of the people as they gushed about how adorable your relationship was. idols typically keep their dating lives private for good reason, but zoey’s openness was refreshing, and her pride to call you her girlfriend was evident to everyone. 

╰₊✧ once the news articles go viral and everyone knows, it’s like she broke free from her shackles. she loves you so much that she’s always wanted to shout it from the rooftops, and now she finally can! if you’re alright with it, she’ll post photos of the two of you together on her social media, run to kiss you after performances, and dedicate some of her songs to you, effectively winning the title of the cutest couple alive. 

━━━ .°˖✧ mira!! ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ not too bad at not drawing any attention to herself on the way there, but her downfall is her overprotectiveness. if anyone’s gaze lingers on you for even a moment too long, her head snaps around and glares at them until they scurry off. 7/10, she might have scared a couple of people, but no one knew it was her!

╰₊✧ her intense stare also helps scare off the paparazzi. you would think they would know by now not to mess with her, but apparently, the big scoop of her being in a relationship was too tempting to pass up. was it really that big of a deal? it pisses her off to the point that she has to put her foot down before the night is ruined any further. 

“hey! do you guys mind? i’m trying to have a date with my girlfriend over here!” she yells out, smacking the table and scowling out of frustration. she doesn’t like being mean or raising her voice, but she thinks it’s warranted when she’s only asking to be left alone and to be mira the girlfriend rather than mira the idol.

you held your breath, worried that she might have just ruined her reputation with a simple statement, but the reporters seemed to love her attitude. that’s the bad girl of the group alright! she’s so brave for speaking out and setting a new standard for idols by standing up for herself! they took one last picture and left the premises, finally giving the two of you some peace and quiet. 

“so, anyway, where were we?”

╰₊✧ truthfully, mira doesn’t mind people knowing about her relationship with you, she just worries that they will bother you over it. she takes the happy medium of being confidential about it yet not worrying about hiding it. whatever your preferences are, she’ll adjust to it since she has no strong feelings about it, and will make certain that your wishes are respected. 

request:

Could I get a request with Rumi (plus anyone else from Huntr/x if you want but specifically Rumi) with a female reader and them trying to go on dates without being recognized please? (reader can be just a regular person or another idol, whatever is good to get the writing juices flowing!) Thank you if you can! 

[formulaaddict14]

LAST NIGHT ( SMAU )

Max Verstappen x reader ( Y/N )

Summary : an unexpected break up and a messy following weeks

Author note : I reallyyyyyy like making long SMAUs but I always feel so pressured to post and that makes me make short ones lol 😭

/////////////////////// /////////////////////// ////////////////////

f1.gossip just posted :

Liked by urfriend2 and 102,671 more

Max Verstappen has arrived to the FIA gala ALONE for the first time in 6 years! Could this be a surprise announcement coming later? 👀📸

user23 : what?! She’s literally ALWAYS with him??

user45 : could this maybe be a wedding announcement or a pregnancy?

| user62 : I REALLY HOPE THEY DIDN’T BREAK UP 😭

user98 : Everyone is being too invasive what if she was just sick no need to make up rumours

user61 : Am I the only one who thought he looked really sad??

| user99 : I didn’t notice anything off 🤷‍♀️

user81 : One of Y/N’s friends just liked the post could that mean something?

user60 : I hope everything goes smoothly for them 😕

yourusername just posted :

Liked by lando.norris, urbff, redbull.f1 and 209,576 more

Life lately 🕊️🥂🤍

user55 : Gorgeous 😍😍

user51 : this has to be an engagement announcement!

user49 : Why didn’t Max like? He’s always the first one 🤨

alexandrasaintmleux : We have to meet up for coffee again 💗 liked by creator

| yourusername : of course love! 💕

user09 : I don’t know if I want her or her wardrobe 😭😭

user48 : Max can’t fight all of us, right?

lilymhe : Hey queen 😋 liked by creator

user65 : WEDDING IS COMING.

F1.gossip just posted :

Liked by lando.norris and 309,791 more

@/yourusername, the 6 year partner of Max Verstappen seen moving out of their shared Monaco apartment 👀📸

user01 : someone literally shoot me

user02 : LITERALLY NO WAY.

user03 : no guys they are moving out together right 😅🔫

user04 : BUT Y/N’S LAST POST WAS LITERALLY AN ENGAGEMENT TEASER??

user05 : Lando lurking in the likes 😭

user06 : so break up announcement when 😕

user07 : they looked so in love literally 2 weeks ago???

user08 : Literally bye I don’t believe in love anymore

user09 : My Y/N Verstappen dreams are crushed 💔

max.verstappen just posted :

Liked by yourusername, urbff, charles.leclerc and 906,865 more

Me and Y/N have decided to call off the engagement, it has been a lovely 6 years. Unfortunately our conflicting schedules and wishes haven’t worked out in a way that would be suitable for the both of us. Wishing Y/N a lovely life and we hope you understand our wishes for privacy in these difficult times.

redbull.f1 : wishing the best for the both of you 💗

charles.leclerc : my condolences, praying for peace for the both of you

user55 : Literally what.

user90 : WHAT THE HECK THEY WERE ENGAGED??

user41 : I don’t believe this conflicting schedule thing at all because wouldn’t you discuss this before the engagement?

user99 : THIS IS SO FISHY WHAT 😭

lilymhe : ❤️

user65 : Max didn’t deserve her anyway 🤷‍♀️

user91 : SO NO MORE Y/N IN THE PADDOCK?

user76 : they were literally engaged…

user33 : I’m done with life goodbye

/////////////////// /////////////////// ////////

[lonelyoneszone]

This needed to be said.

I've always been shitted on by the way I express what i say. And luke it's gotten to a point were I'm scared to speak my mind and just say stuff once I've written and reviewed by my therapists.

I've gotten better at not needing the therapist part but it's so damaging.

There's also the added thing were i don't really feel like i have a native language because i spoke one at home another at school and another online. Like i don't have a good vocabulary in any language I know. And like I doubt what I say constantly too. And i tend to ramble too lmao. I have only one friend with whom i felt comfortable talking without thinking and haven't been able to see them.

Having people on my back when i just speak what i think because "that's not how you say it." "You should learn to talk properly if you want people to listen to you" "you can't expect people to take you seriouy when you speak like that"

That gets on my nerves and just makes it even more difficult to speak. Like people are just so annoying.

Sorry for this rant just really pissed I felt I needed to monitor everything I say.

This is going to be hard for a lot of people to hear but if you want to make your spaces safer for disabled people, then you need to stop assuming malice from every poorly worded post.

A lot of neurodivergencies and disabilities cause people to ramble, lose their train of thought very easily, go on tangents, have disordered thinking, etc. We can get words and names mixed up very easily, lose words entirely, struggle to put our thoughts into actual words that make sense to people, and lose track of conversations. Whether it's from ADHD, psychosis, brain fog, brain damage, or any other condition, thinking and verbalizing ourselves can be really fucking hard.

This isn't malicious. We aren't doing it on purpose to hurt or upset people, and we aren't ignorant about the topic just because we get mixed up. We deserve to have voices, even if we don't always make sense to other people.

[saintrafayel]

Love for you (Rafayel x bunny!reader)

Synopsis: Rafayel’s been much more difficult to get ahold of ever since Thomas convinced him to adopt a hybrid at the shelter, but none of that matters so long as his bunny’s happy.

Tags/warnings: hybrid reader, slight infantilization, Non-canon compliant, reader isn’t mc I’m just having fun here, reader is a brat, rafayel is whipped okay? No smut but implications of it.

Authors note: 18+ only 🤍. Literally just wanna be Rafayel’s dumb lil hedonistic bunny girl who’s spoiled rotten. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 692

Rafayel could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket for the fourth time in the past minute, but he ignores the sensation as he finally reaches his studio. He’s sure it’s only Thomas asking why he left the Gala so soon, he can deal with his manager tomorrow; Rafayel’s gone too long without his precious girl wrapped around him to care for such things. He unlocks the front door and enters, waiting until the auto lock noise goes off until he turns around and sighs.

“Bunny, I’m home!” He announces to the sound of silence, much to his dismay. Rafayel furrows his eyebrows and pouts; on a typical day, you’d rush to him until you hop into his arms… Rafayel continues into the large studio, walking into the kitchen to notice a now empty pack of cookies on the counter. ‘Oh no,’ Rafayel thinks, ‘these were brand new…’

He rushes to your now shared bedroom to find your body snuggling against his pillow that has one of his shirts stretched around it. The room smells like his cologne, and it becomes more adamant the closer he gets to you and his pillow. The bedroom’s dark, but your nightlight illuminates enough of your face to reveal that some cookie crumbs are still plastered on there. Rafayel sighs in content; his messy bunny looks angelic while she sleeps. He reaches a hand out behind one of your ears and scratches it gently, careful not to mess up the pastel blue bows that decorate your fluffy ears. Your breath quivers as one of your feet begins to twitch at the sensation.

So cute, so trusting of him, all his.

“Bunny…” Rafayel whispers as he pulls the cologne soaked pillow out of your grasp. You begin to groan and attempt to pull it back in your sleep, he can’t imagine how bad of a sugar rush you had before this. “Wakey-wakey bunny, Rafie’s back from work…” he says in a singing voice, earning another groan from his dearest rabbit girl. Your eyes finally open as you yawn, sitting up and leaning against him.

“You’re back…?” You ask, nose immediately sniffing his neck as he wraps his arms around you. “Missed you so so sooo much Rafie, pillow Rafie isn’t the same…” you grumble against him. Rafayel kisses your forehead, but unfortunately he does need to have a hard conversation with you…

“Bunny, did you leave me any snacks? We just went grocery shopping baby…” you freeze in his arms for a moment, then begin to giggle.

“I ate all the cookies and the strawberry cake- oh! And the oranges… but I left you half of the ice cream carton!” You beam widely at him. “You’ve been gone since five… that’ll show you to leave me alone for six hours!” You grin. Rafayel pulls your body onto his lap and sighs. One hand reaches out to pet your fluffy tail while the other gently holds onto your waist.

“But bunnyyyy-“ he whines, “I wanted some of the strawberry cake too.” Rafayel frowns, “You can’t eat all the tasty snacks just because I’m gone- did you eat an actual meal?” He begins to scold. Your ears twitch, giving away the answer.

“The oranges were healthy…” you shrug, wiggling your ass against his legs. Having your tail played with always makes you… jittery.

“Bunny, next time wait for Rafie, okay? Come on, let’s get some actual food in you.” He instructs, waiting for you to stand.

“Hmm, I’m sorry Rafie,” you start, your movements turning into a steady grinding rhythm now. “How ‘bout I make it up to you instead, huh?” You look up and flutter your perfect eyelashes as Rafayel lets out a shaky breath; you always knew how to get your way with him, didn’t you?

Rafayel smacks your ass and earns a sweet yelp from your precious lips, you hop out of his lap and rub your butt as you frown at him. “Food first, then you can make it up to me like a good girl.”

[rubylane]

KPOP DEMON HUNTERS (2025) ⊱ rp prompt

change pronouns and adjust as needed.

you will be so much more than that.

demons have always haunted our world.

that duty falls to you.

that victory is within your reach.

that's not even a real number.

there's no water in these.

how can you be late?

i didn't even get to finish my ramyeon!

why do they always interrupt our snacking?

they will face my wrath!

now you gotta die.

ugh, you came at a bad time.

you just crossed the line.

i understand you are weak.

and you dare to mock me with it?

i'm not here to mock you.

i'm here to help you.

it's time for a new strategy.

what makes you think that could work?

you've never done a single thing that didn't serve yourself.

that was weird.

we already have plans.

i can't wait to eat kimbap and stare at the ceiling.

sounds super boring. i'm so down.

we literally just sat down.

i can handle this. i'm not having a nervous breakdown.

you always say no.

you sound exactly like her.

no. we gotta hide and fix it.

earthy and herby. smells legit to me.

hurry, before someone sees us.

in order to heal a part, we must understand the whole.

you have a lot of walls up.

watch yourself.

they're not even that cute.

i'm gonna throw up.

no, it's too public.

don't eat that!

let's go kill these guys.

hard to say goodbye when we're having fun.

make it stop.

wow. did you really follow us here?

we're not here to fight.

whoa! mind the face.

surprisingly, your plan is working.

it's a lot more serious than i thought.

is that bird wearing a tiny hat?

wow, i wasn't expecting a hug, but ...

i thought the mannequin was gonna be a fun icebreaker. but i see i was wrong.

hey! i just wanna talk.

but first, i wanna talk about those pants.

you were supposed to be dead.

i could've told your friends what you are.

that's none of your business.

i know what it feels like to have them.

is that what you think?

you're not good enough for them.

you know you can tell me. i'll understand.

i'm nothing like you.

denial. i get it.

i'll be here when you're done pretending.

there won't be a next time.

are you a prisoner too?

thanks for having my back.

we keep meeting like this.

i didn't think you liked sharing.

should i tell them?

i'm gonna tell them. eventually.

are you whispering?

your secret's safe with me.

i'm helping myself.

i'm pretty good at reading people. actually, i'm kind of an expert at it.

i just can't shake this feeling that you're keeping something from me.

i'm not keeping anything rom you.

sorry, i sound nuts.

yeah. eternal suffering. sounds fun.

you made me come all the way out here so you could jumpscare me?

i'm glad you'er finally ready to talk.

you could've picked somewhere nicer for a date.

you're so old.

this is strictly a business meeting.

i am a mistake. have been since the moment i was born.

excuse me? i'm everyone's type.

i see why you're single.

see? we'd never work.

go find yourself a better boy.

this one's hopeless.

that's the funny thing about hope. nobody else gets to decide if you feel it. that choice belongs to you.

for what it's worth, i don't think you're a mistake.

i just want you to know i'm here for literally anything you need.

seriously, what is your problem?

not everything is about your insecurities, [name]!

what's with the long faces?

you killed your family.

don't forget about our deal, [name].

i'm kind of a difficult person.

something's wrong.

i knew it was too good to be true.

don't leave!

say you didn't do this. how could you do this?

it was all a lie.

it was real! what we had was real. i know it was.

i just needed you to trust me. that's all.

that's right, i lied to you.

i thought i could fix it all.

thi sis what i am.

why can't you look at me?

why couldn't you love me?

you come here like this?

you can't even fix yourself.

i'm sorry for everything.

i wanted to set you free.

you gave me my soul back.

this feels amazing.

see what you've been missing?

i'm so happy you didn't, like, die.

wow, [name], way to be super literal.

i definitely feel recharged.

[blossomcola]

hi! i have a request if u don’t mind?

i need lara and megan CARNALLY it’s so embarrassing. especially after the gabriella mv. like how do u expect me NOT to thirst after seeing them in those SUITS????? SAPPHICS in suits nonetheless.

but anyway. that last fem reader x dani drabble was so hot OMG. it got me thinking. i’d like to imagine lara and megan tag-teaming someone (hypothetical 7th member? random hot girl from the club? mutual best friend? idk) they’ve had their eye on for a while. drawing her in, laying her down, whispering into her ear. lara being smooth and cool as always, weaseling herself between the girl’s legs - megan kneeling over the girl’s face and still somehow making her laugh without killing the mood, being the beautiful lovable goofball she is.

they make her cum over and over again, overstimulating her to the brink, switching positions, getting themselves off while they continuously fuck this girl’s brains out - treating this like one big game as their greedy fingers spread her nice and wide for their visual appeal. maybe there’s this one moment where it’s megan eating her out, and lara sitting right behind her, instead - coaxing her shaky legs open, whispering all sweet in her ear: “can you give us one more, pretty baby?”

pairing. dom!megara x sub!fem reader

content warnings. cunnilingus, face sitting, fingering, praise, scissoring.

knowing that megara often goes out to parties or events, either alone or accompanied by someone like emily, for example, i wouldn’t be surprised if something like this happens. they both have the vibe that they are going to a party to have fun and spend time together but without taking away the possibility of finding a third party for the fun of the night.

they together are a danger because it is a combination that makes you dizzy and feel multiple feelings at the same time. megan would be on one side, charismatic and cheerful as always, telling jokes or just common comments that sound funny coming from her lips — while lara would be a little less... subtle about her intentions. she’s a softer talker so she’d leave the talking part to megan, maybe occasionally giving you a compliment on your appearance and focusing on how the clothes fit your body perfectly, coming to rest a hand on your thigh and caressing your skin with her thumb in a way that makes it difficult for you to pay attention to megan’s words… of course you wouldn’t refuse when they offered you to go home with them!

they both definitely have restless hands. i can imagine that when you lie down on the mattress they don’t even let you think about the situation because they already have their hands on your body, making you practically whine since the touch of both has a great contrast to the other’s; of course lara loves being able to have these kinds of moments with a girl, but as much as she loves being passionate, she would consider making you enjoy the moment. so she would be a little slower and more sensual in her touching of you, leaving a trail of kisses all over your abdomen while her hands caress your thighs and massage the flesh between her fingers, slowly going down to your belly and trying to be slow just to make you squirm. it’s a shame megan can’t keep her hands for herself, and you realize it by the hand with which she shamelessly gropes your tits, it doesn’t take long for her to close her lips over one of your nipples and suck as if she were a baby.

lara being super gentle and putting your pleasure first, kneeling between your legs and leaning down until she was eye level with your dripping pussy, looking you straight in the eyes as she gives a slow lick along your slit that makes you moan beautifully for her. megan doesn’t want to be left out and knows what she has to do, sitting next to your head on the bed and stroking your hair to get your attention, asking if she can sit on your face like it’s the most common thing in the world, but that doesn’t mean you’d say no! she definitely loves how you whimper against her pussy as she uses your mouth to her liking while lara is between your legs eating you out in a way that makes your head spin, not wasting time making witty comments and jokes that only she laughs at because lara is busy and you can only babble — also at a certain point lara would choose to change technique, positioning herself between your legs and lowering herself until her pussy is pressed against yours, grinding against you and making pleasing megan a more than difficult task, especially when megan decides to slide a hand between your thighs and start playing with your clit.

since megan recently came out of the closet, we could say that maybe she doesn’t have the best experience with girls, so what better for her than for lara to teach her how to please one using your body as an example? things like guiding her to the moment megan is between your thighs, telling her what to do and how to touch you correctly, but this means that lara also has to give demonstrations to correct megan when she is wrong and not understanding her words! something like megan asking “so? am i doing it right?” when she’s fingering you or playing with you before she actually starts fucking you, only for lara to reply, “no, do it like this.” and not even giving megan time to move away because she joins in immediately, sliding two fingers inside you along with megan’s that were already inside and making you squirt instantly due to overstimulation — and this means there’s also a good chance they’ll both eat you out at the same time.

and letting megan practice with you is the best. lara leaning against the back of the bed, having you lying against her body and your back pressed against her chest, both of her hands holding the back of your knees and keeping them open for megan, who is between your legs devouring you and exploring. lara would give you soft and loving kisses on the curve of your neck and shoulder every time you started to sob and squirm, telling you to just hold on a little longer and that she’ll give you a nice reward if you can be a good girl for a little longer.

[starlostjisung]

hi! can i request stray kids 9th member au, where the reader has been feeling down and the boys plot to make her feel better?

hiiii!!!

i loved this idea, thanks for sending it and i hope you like this 🩷

- learning to breathe again

PAIRING: skz x 9th!member (platonic)

GENRE: angst, comfort

WC: 2.1k

CW: reader is overworked

SUMMARY: with a new comeback just around the corner, you felt everything: the pressure, the chaos, the anxiety. you pushed yourself through it but you needed the guys to help you breathe again

you had known from the start that being in a co-ed group would be difficult, especially when that group would consist of 8 boys and just 1 girl. this had never happened before.

however, you had known the boys for a long time, after being a trainee for almost as long as chan. that’s why when chan told you that he was choosing the members for a group and he wanted you in it, you agreed. immediately. there was no doubt in your mind that you could do this with the boys, and that you wanted to do it.

fast forward to almost a decade later, you had it all. or at least a lot of things you had dreamed about when you started. you had debuted, released a lot of albums, won awards and went on tours many times. you still had a lot of things that you wanted to achieve as a group, but there was also a lot of pride in all of the things you had achieved already.

it was thanks to the love and support of fans, family and friends. you knew that of course. but it was also thanks to the hard work that all 9 of you put. because you worked. a lot.

you loved your job, you would never change it for anything nor would you take it for granted. but there were times when it could be suffocating. when instead of motivating you to go on, it would only push you to the ground and make you think this wasn’t meant for you. that you didn’t fit in this world. especially when you felt like the world was demanding more of you just because you were a girl in a group full of boys.

the good thing about being in a group is that whenever one of you was feeling down, when that person felt the weight of the world on their shoulders, there would be 8 other people taking that pressure from their shoulders and grabbing their hands to walk the same path together, not leaving anyone behind.

and that was the case for you at the moment.

you were working on your next comeback, which was coming very soon. this is always an exciting time but it’s also really stressful and tiring.

comebacks meant recording sessions, dance practices, shooting music videos, photo sessions for the album, interviews, promo, travels… and right now, you were not feeling it.

you had been in the studio all evening recording with bang chan and changbin. the three of you were recording some parts that were missing in a couple of songs. you were all exhausted but you had to do it.

“okay, y/n, you ready?” chan asked you as you went inside the booth to record

“yeah, ready”

he played the track and you got ready to sing your lines. the first time you did it you came in late, so you started all over again. the second time, you were early. the third time, was good but you felt you could do better.

this went on for some time until you finally hit it right, “okay, this is perfect, we got it”, chan said

however, you were not completely sure, “you sure chan? i think i could do better with another try”

“i-i mean, it was perfect y/n, but if you’re not happy and want to do it again, it’s fine, there’s no problem”, changbin said

you looked at them and saw how exhausted they were, not because of you, but because of all of the work you had been doing these last few weeks or months, you didn’t even know at this point

“well if you’re both happy with this take we’ll leave this one, yeah, let’s go with this one”, you told them and left the recording booth

“right, so we have to mix the harmonies of this part and then add the chorus, and this one would be done” you heard changbin and chan talking with the producer so you took that as your cue to leave

“guys, if you don’t need me anymore, i’m going to go home, if that’s okay”

the boys shared a look because this wasn’t normal, you would always stay with them and watch them work on the songs once you were finished recording your parts. it was like a tradition you had with 3racha

“mmm, yeah, if that’s what you wanna do you can go home y/n” chan said

with that, you said your goodbyes and left the studio, leaving the boys a bit worried about you

“okay let’s go from the top, ready? 5, 6, 5, 6, 7, 8” the choreographer said

the music started and you all got into positions. you were practicing the choreo for the title track of the comeback. you were going to shoot the video for it next week, so now you were all immersed in learning the choreo and different movements and positions you would have to do throughout the video.

your choreos are always demanding and need a lot of energy, but you had never had any problems remembering or learning them.

of course you would slip here and there, but that was expected, you were human. but your brain was not cooperating with you today. at all.

you saw the moves, you tried to learn them and do them, and you did. but you felt like you weren’t doing them right. that you were late with the music. that you moved the wrong way. that you went to positions that weren’t yours.

the boys could see that. they could see that even though you were giving your all today - just like any other day- something was wrong with you, and had been for a while, ever since chan and changbin first realised it that day in the studio.

the song finished and you felt like you were going to collapse, “okay, let’s rest for a bit, we’ll be back in 5”, the choreographer said

as soon as he left the practice room, a bottle of water was firmly placed in your hand

“drink it, you look like you’re going to faint”, it was lee know, always looking out for you

“i feel like i’m going to”

“are you okay? you look a bit out of it today”

“i don’t know, i feel like even though i’m trying, i just don’t get there. i’m late with the movements, i mix the places where i have to be, i’m confused with everything”

“y/n, it’s normal, we’re still learning the choreo, this is new”

“but this has never happened before minho”, you were getting really frustrated now

“not every choreo is the same, nor do we learn everything easily y/n, you should know this by now”

“i know but it’s just-“

“just nothing, y/n, don’t beat yourself up for this. we still have time before we shoot the video. take it easy, don’t push yourself too much”, and with that he left to get ready to start practice again

“okay, everybody ready? let’s start the track”, as soon as the choreographer was back, you all got into position and started again. you tried to remember what lee know had told you, but you just couldn’t do it. you had never had this type of problems, you had always been perfect, so why weren’t you perfect now?

this went on for a couple of weeks and all of the boys noticed this. they noticed the mistakes during dance practices, the many takes you wanted to do each time you recorded, the early morning and late nights you would spend at the company practicing alone, whether it was the choreos or the lines you would have to record that day.

they knew they had to do something before you broke down completely.

that’s why they decided to spend the day off with you, trying to cheer you up and make you forget everything that was pushing you down. hopefully their plan would work out.

they decided you would all have a lazy and quiet day at home, you were all exhausted and that’s what you all needed. they knew you weren’t going to wake up early - you were definitely not an early bird - so all of the guys went to the dorm you were sharing with seungmin and felix and started to get everything ready.

they were going to cook some cupcakes because they knew they were your favourite - well chan and lee know were going to cook, seungmin and felix weren’t allowed anywhere close the kitchen even though it was their dorm.

the rest of the boys were in charge of the living room. they had to prepare the sofas, blankets, snacks, tv ready with your favourite show. everything you would need for a day when you didn’t have to leave the couch, unless it was to go to the bathroom.

surprisingly, they were able to prepare everything on time, cupcakes included, so when you finally woke up and went to the living room you were surprised to say the least.

“wh-what’s all this?”, you looked around, surprised to see not only felix and seungmin, but all of the guys there, and your living room turned into a… well you didn’t know what it was but there were blankets and pillows everywhere. and snacks. and cupcakes.

“we’re having a day off all together!”, han told you

“yeah, just like we did just after we debuted”, hyunjin continued

it’s true, whenever you had a day off after you debuted - a rare occurrence to be honest - you would just lay around in your shared dorm and do absolutely nothing. just being together and talking and joking was enough. you were happy with that and you missed it.

“but why? why did you do all this?”, you asked them while pointing at the food, the living room, everything

felix grabbed your hand and guided you to sit down next to him, “y/n, we know you have been feeling down for a bit, you know you can always come to any of us and we will always help you, we are a family, and we will always be there for each other”

you looked him in the eyes and felt yours watering, “i know it’s just… i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i’m usually not like this. comebacks are always stressful for all of us but i never have any problems with them but this time around… i don’t know, i feel like i can’t do it and i just didn’t want to put more in your plates, so i thought that i would just push through it and it would go away but i can’t do it anymore”

and that’s when you broke. you let it all out. the stress. the fear. the exhaustion. you knew you were in a safe place to fall, the boys were there to pick you up. but you just needed to let it all out. you needed to breathe.

“hey, y/n, look at me, it’s okay, we got you, we’re here”, it was chan’s now, who was sat on your other side. he pulled you to him and hugged you, “it’s completely normal to go through difficult times, but please, let us know when this is happening. you’re always there for us, and we want to be there for you the same way, okay?”

you nodded against his chest

“pinky promise?”, you saw changbin placing his pinky right in front of your face

you laughed at his antics, “pinky promise”, you told him while lacing your fingers together

“you’re one of the strongest people i know, you’re gonna get through this, i’m sure of it”, it was han this time

you saw all the boys agreeing with him, and felt chan hugging you a bit tighter

“okay, it’s time for breakfast now, come on everybody let’s eat those cupcakes and don’t worry y/n, seungmin and felix didn’t cook any of this so there’s no risk of suffering indigestion or something like that” i.n told you and you saw seungmin getting up to hit him, “ouch”, he said while rubbing his arm

“you deserved it”, seungmin told him

you laughed at the two maknaes of the group and felt truly happy for the first time in a long time.

you looked around the room and saw all of the boys eating, joking and playing with each other, and that’s when you knew everything was going to be fine.

you could finally breathe again

[munipe]

helloooo pumpkin! i luv ur writing! i was thinking about something very cute an silly for saiki.! Imagine when Saiki tells his partner about his powers. about what he goes through. Dude is NERVOUS. But instead of being surprised, excited, or anything, they look at him for a while before speaking in a quiet tone and saying something along the lines of; "That sounds incredibly difficult for you, please tell me what I can do to make you feel comfortable after dealing with all this." thank youuu! ^^

I was getting through finals studies—I’m writing this after I’ve finished my first final. This was simmering in the drafts :3

YOU ALWAYS found it weird how Kusuo, your boyfriend, always knew what you needed. Whenever you were down, he’d weirdly, always, have your favorite candy. Whenever you were thirsty, he oddly had an extra can of juice from lunch. It was all odd coincidence that every minor inconvenience you had with him, just dissolved within seconds. Kusuo was no fool to your skepticism, though.

He admits, maybe he did pamper you slightly. Perhaps he’s too often solved all of the small pokes in your back than he has let you solve it yourself. He didn’t see why he shouldn’t, though. After all, you are so tolerant of him. You accept when he doesn’t want to be touched, or when everything is too loud for him. Hell, he even remembers when he felt so tired and you bought him coffee jelly and some tea. He could’ve done it himself, but it tasted sweeter when you made it.

Kusuo admits, as well, that perhaps he’s let you in maybe too much. Maybe he’s ‘sensed’ too many things for it to be passed off as “boyfriend instinct”. He can feel your stares—your internal questions. He thought, maybe, he should play dumb and go about as usual. In that case, you’d be incredulous—how crazy would you have to be to believe your boyfriend has powers? Then Kusuo would feel bad in that event. Would it be best to come clean? He figured you would freak out if he did, who wouldn’t? But he couldn’t risk you feeling crazy, either. He had been so deep in thought and contemplation, he hadn’t realized you were worried.

***

“Kusuo?” The both of you had been dating for not long, actually. It was spontaneous, at a festival. Yet, he felt as comfortable as ever hearing his name from your lips. You were lying on the floor together—you said it felt better on your back, so he accompanied you. He turns his head to signal he was listening. “Are you okay?”

He nods, you furrow your eyebrows. With a small chew on the inside of your cheek, you relent. Your boyfriend was a master at avoiding conversation, you wouldn’t win. “M’kay.” You scooted closer, placing your head on his shoulder—his arm wraps around you.

It was pure warmth. He loved your weight on him, it solidified the idea you were real and with him. He glanced down to your curled up form, and he could feel himself caving. He was sure you had been peeling at his defenses, layer by layer. You were reaching to the core of his being—sooner than he’d like. It was worrying. He was so fortified, he didn’t know what else to do. They say love is like a flower blossoming in spring, but what will he do when his winter comes? When he slips up? He wasn’t sure. He only found himself wanting to bear it to you. He would show the deepest parts to you. Maybe he shouldn’t do that with his first relationship, but he didn’t care.

“You want a cat.” He started, speaking with his mouth. “You want…three. One ragdoll, one siamese, and the other is debatable.” All things you’ve thought about, but never said. “You sometimes want to hold my hand whenever I’m irritated, but you never do because you think I’ll get upset. You think my bed is more comfortable than yours but you never tell me to scoot over when you’re over.” His hands felt clammy when he felt your gaze.

“How do you know all that?” You whispered to him. You swore you could see a genuine expression of anxiety on him for the first time

“I can read your mind. I can do a lot of things. I can…use telekineses, I can turn invisible, I can hear everyone’s thoughts in a certain radius. I can’t throw a ball because I can’t control myself. I have x-ray vision, so I can’t actually see your face.”

You turned warm at the notion. So he knew you liked him way before?

He answered your thought. “I did know. You started liking me after we worked on the Chemistry project together.”

…

The silence was killing him. He looked down to your form, only to see it curling into him. “That sounds…rough. You can hear everyone’s thoughts? You can’t see my face? You…” He wad a strong man, you thought. You’d go crazy if you constantly heard everyone’s thoughts—nobody could be two-faced with him. You gently maneuvered to lay on him. “Tell me what I can do to make you comfortable when I can, okay? That sounds constantly overwhelming….”

He looked down at you in curiosity. You weren’t freaked out or angry. You were…gentle. How endearing.

“Just stay.” He answered. So you did.

I’ve written ‘Saiki’ too much it’s starting to look like mumbo jumbo

[p1eceandharmon1]

how they react after hurting you ┊ p1harmony (part 2)

fluff! (with a bit of angst!) ┊ gn!reader ┊ word count: 2197

ੈ♡˳ requested!

a/n: hii!! it took me longer than I expected to post part 2, but it's finally here!! andd I just realized that there are more than 200 people following my blog so I just wanted to take a moment to thank you guys so so so much, it means the world to me <3. I know it takes me a little while to post cause I always want to make sure that my works are as perfect as possible, so tysm for bearing with me. lastly, i have some more request in my inbox, so they will be coming soon!!

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➳ Intak ┊ 황인탁

It had been like that for a whole week already. Every single day, you only saw Intak late at night, when he came back home after his never-ending schedules of the day. Sometimes, he would sit on the couch, scrolling through his phone, or he would go directly to sleep, but in any of those cases would he say a word. You understood he had a lot of work, especially now that he was preparing for another promotion season and upcoming festivals, and it wasn’t surprising that his energy was completely drained. You decided it would be better to leave him some space, only wishing him a good night quietly when you went to bed.

It has never been this bad, though. Of course he has previously gone through periods of time when he was busier with work but it never made him build such a barrier between you two. It couldn’t be healthy for a person as energetic and affectionate as Intak to be this exhausted, and not to say distant — you were starting to miss your boyfriend so badly.

One day like any other, Intak came home when you were sitting in the living room, watching TV. He put his bag aside and came to sit next to you, letting out a tired sigh as soon as his body met the comfortable couch. He had his eyes closed as you took a look at his face and bit your lip, hesitating to initiate a conversation. “Did you have dinner?”, you asked carefully. He shook his head as a response. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”, you asked again. “No, I’m not hungry”.

You stayed silent for a bit, not daring to insist. Maybe it wasn’t the best moment to address the situation properly, even though you had been thinking about expressing your concern about him for days. You let go of this idea while looking at him, visibly tired. Instead, you decided to reach for his hand, hoping some physical contact would ease the atmosphere and bring him some comfort.

Just a second after your fingers touched his, he took his hand away and stood up abruptly, almost as if he had got a shock. “I’m going to bed”, he said, not making eye-contact. Your heart broke in pieces because of his rejection and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Wait!”, your voice was louder than you intended, but you didn’t care. “What the hell is wrong with you?”. He turned around, genuinely surprised by your reaction, only to find you on the verge of tears. “I get that you’re stressed but, is it really that difficult to talk to me? I’m tired of this silent treatment and I’m tired of feeling like a burden to you”.

The next thing you knew was that Intak was wrapping his arms around you, holding you against him like his life depended on it. “Please, don’t say that,” his voice was soft against your ear. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I’m so sorry”. His sincere apology and his familiar scent finally surrounding you after so long made your tears fall silently and land on his T-shirt. You closed your eyes and buried your face in the crook of his neck as he kept caressing your back.

“I didn’t want to worry you with my issues but I ended up pushing you away. I didn’t realize I was hurting your feelings,” he continued. “Please, forgive me”. You pulled away enough to look at his face. “I forgive you. But, next time, you need to open up to me instead of holding it all in. That’s what I’m here for, you idiot”. He let out a chuckle before kissing your forehead and pulling you back into a hug. “Yes ma���am. I will”.

➳ Soul ┊ 白翔太

You were on the bus, on your way back home after a long day of work, only wanting to be surrounded by the warmth of your apartment where Shota was supposed to be waiting for you. He had just returned from the group’s overseas tour, so you had agreed on having a little cosy at-home date. He wanted to prepare a little surprise for you since you two hadn’t been able to have a proper date for the couple of months he’d been away, so he had ordered some food from your favorite place and picked a movie to watch while cuddling.

You were only one bus stop away from yours when a notification popped on your phone screen. It was from P1Harmony’s official social media account, so you unlocked your phone, suddenly curious about what it was about. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you read the post, which was announcing the group’s new tour starting next month. You shook your head, refusing to believe that. You checked again, hoping that it was only a fan account, but that wasn’t the case. You scrolled a bit more only to see the fans’ reactions to the announcement, which confirmed that the tour was in fact going to take place.

You got off the bus, millions of thoughts running through your head. You first thought about how crazy it was for the company to send the boys again on tour when they had just returned from their previous one. It hurt so much to think that you had been waiting for so long to finally have your boyfriend back only for them to send him away this soon. But then, you thought about Shota. He must have known about this, and you couldn’t understand why he hadn’t said a word to you. You felt betrayed and disappointed that he chose not to let you know, as if it had nothing to do with you. Looking for a good reason for him not to share this important information, you totally forgot he was waiting for you at home.

You unlocked the front door with tears gathering in your eyes due to the sudden and overwhelming flow of feelings, and once you entered, you heard Shota’s voice behind you. “Hi, love. How was today?”. You heard his steps, indicating he was approaching you. You turned around and he was smiling sweetly at you, but that smile faded as soon as he noticed your expression. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”.

You didn’t answer. You let your bag fall to the ground, not caring a bit about it, and took out your phone to show him the tour announcement you saw. “Would you mind explaining this?”. Shota went pale at the sight of the post. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I…”, he tried to apologize but you cut him off. “When were you gonna tell me that you’re going away again?”, you asked in a cold tone. “I was waiting for the right moment”, he said, his voice almost a whisper. “And when is that? When you’re already on the plane?” your voice cracked. “I just got you back, Shota”, you couldn’t keep on talking, or else the tears would fall.

He took a step closer to you, starting to realize the mistake he had made, but you stepped away from him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”, and that’s when the first tear rolled down your cheek. “I was going to, really. I just… I wanted to spend some more time with you without worrying about the distance again. I didn’t expect the announcement to be released this soon…”, he explained.

Shota reached out his hand to wipe one of your tears away and, seeing that this time you didn’t reject him, he came closer to wrap his arms around you, holding you impossibly close to him. “I’m sorry I’m leaving. But this time is not going to be for so long”. You shook your head. “It wasn’t that what bothered me. I want you to tell me this type of things. I never want to find out about stuff like this through social media again, okay?”.

“You’re right. It won’t happen again”, he promised and kept on holding you, pressing a kiss to your hair to seal the promise.

➳ Jongseob ┊ 김종섭

You’ve been insisting to Jongseob about how bad his room needed a makeover since the boys moved dorms and they didn’t have to share rooms anymore. Now, he had full freedom to choose his own furniture and decorations, although he found it kind of overwhelming. However, with your help, he had spent a couple of days buying his new items online, and they had finally arrived.

You came over to Jongseob’s place on his day off, when he had planned to rearrange his room. “I told you, you didn’t have to come,” he said as you two were taking the boxes into his room. “It’s a lot of work and it’s your free day”. “I don’t mind, really. It’s gonna be fun. Plus, I wanted to see you today”, you smiled at him and he returned the gesture, not able to hide his blush.

You placed the heavy box down, the one containing the pieces of the desk you were supposed to build. Jongseob had already taken the old desk outside, so now you had plenty of space to start figuring out how to build the new one. It was actually very entertaining to follow all the steps, even though it was taking you longer than normal due to lots of shared laughs and maybe some kisses.

To be honest, you were finding it a bit hard to do some things because, just the day before, you had gone to get your nails done — you had opted for longer nails this time, so you were still getting used to them. Jongseob laughed loudly when he saw how much you were struggling to pick a screw up from the ground, and he still had a grin on his face when he grabbed it for you. “Your claws are bothering you?”, he teased and you scoffed loudly at him. “Don’t you dare call my nails ‘claws’ ever again. They’re not that long”, you tried reaching for the screw Jongseob was holding but he kept taking it away, holding it above his head so you couldn’t grab it. “Sure they’re not”, he kept on teasing while you two laughed at your attempts to catch the screw. You literally had to get on top of him to reach the little piece of metal, not that he complained.

You finished building the new desk and now it was time to move it from the middle of the room towards the wall. It was actually heavier than you thought so it took the two of you to do it, slightly lifting each edge so it didn’t scrap the floor. It was almost there when Jongseob moved to the front to give it one last strong push, not noticing that your hand was still between the desk and the wall.

You felt an awfully intense pain coming from one of your fingers, which caused a yelp to slip from your lips. You didn’t even look at your hand, you just hugged it to your chest and fell to your knees without even noticing it. You had to close your eyes because the room was starting to spin around you. “Oh my God, are you okay?”, you felt Jongseob kneeling down beside you. You could feel his distress without even seeing his face.

You took a deep breath as you opened your eyes to take a look at your hand. One of your nails was broken in half way below the tip of your finger, but one of the edges was still attached to the remaining acrylic material. The sensitive flesh below the nail was now fully exposed, making you see stars and, to add insult to injury, it was starting to bleed like crazy.

You couldn’t bring yourself to answer the question, but you didn’t need to — Jongseob was already wrapping an arm securely around your waist to help you stand back up and lead you to the bathroom. Once you were there, he carefully grabbed your injured hand to take a closer look at it. “I’m so sorry. This is my fault”, he didn’t dare to look you in the eye. “Don’t say that, it was an accident”, you reassured him as you placed your other hand on top of his.

He didn’t say anything back, he just grabbed a soft tissue to wipe away some of the blood, paying attention to your face so he would know when to stop if it was hurting you in any way. “I think it would be better if you put a band-aid around the nail so it doesn’t move. I’ll go with you to the nail tech tomorrow”, he said as he carefully put the band-aid on your finger. Then, he grabbed both of your hands and finally met your eyes. “I still feel so guilty”. You smiled and wrapped your hands around his neck to bring him into a hug. “I told you it’s fine. These things happen so stop overthinking”, you felt his shoulders relax a bit. “But you’re the one paying for the fixing”, you joked, earning a laugh from your boyfriend.

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[feistyvirghoe]

i keep seeing the same shit on tarotblr w some readers just being so negative about love in general

i’m currently single and just doing what i can right now for myself but i still hold a little bit of hope for new healthy love to come in…(even when it’s hard to believe for myself…i still try and that little bit of trying is okay…even in these difficult and draining times of my life right now)

but some ppl are just so….ignorant towards it…it puts a bad taste in my mouth and it’s very odd to see…but idk i could be wrong idk lol

am i going insane? like what the fuck is wrong w just wanting a healthy partnership w someone….that doesn’t mean you’re fucking desperate, especially if you’re just curious but whatever bro /: :(

instead of berating people and making others feel fucking disgusted with themselves…add uplifting readings to ur content…there’s nothing wrong with a healing love reading with self…encouraging your clients and people who come across your readings with genuine compassionate words…or have people just been losing sympathy, it’s one thing to be empathetic but most people don’t even know how to hold space for someone else…there’s nothing wrong w sympathizing and bringing more comforting readings to your blog (and no i don’t mean coddling or false promises, im talking about relaying your messages in a way that doesn’t make u sound like a damn spiritual narc…and i know im not perfect w my readings either…its just an observation from sooooo many different people on soooo many different platforms)

does anyone else see this shit…i genuinely don’t like noticing this but it’s hard to ignore…

just be kinder…that’s not a sin or something ppl should have to earn from anyone…kindness costs you NOTHING! this is why ill always say i love you in some of my pacs (even outside of this…i love you <3) …who cares if i dont fucking know you…there’s at least one person out there that needs to hear it. that they are loved….im so sick of these soulless readers only profiting off of other people’s pain…other people’s desperation…it shouldn’t be like that :( this is a real energy exchange…you have someone reading your content…your work, and they find genuine comfort in that…and honestly i appreciate everyone who’s ever given me the time of day w my readings…even if i may be inconsistent…i do it out of love (all my readings) …id offer paid readings but im just not in the place to (i even doubt myself…and that’s okay…ITS NOT DEMONIC NOR A SIN! stop scaring people with those harsh words…its fuckin weird)

i will still try to show up for you…and me….so i love you <3 and you deserve to be loved, it’s okay to have loving familial relationships, loving romantic relationships, loving friendships… stop shrinking and downplaying it…you are allowed to be loved and give love…WE NEED MORE OF IT IN THIS SICK N TWISTED WORLD!

[pipedreamprayer]

I wonder if what would warm them up to him eventually (once the ex starts being removed from their relationship status) is Huvo being able to draw out sides of Lycaon he normally keeps tucked behind his butler face. It's not exactly a mask, it's built from too much of his real personality as he's grown into it, but he absolutely uses the decorum and poise expected of him to cover up when he's off-balance about anything, as well as seems to assume he needs to be some level of that stoic all the time because of people's expectations.

Hugo doesn't have those expectations and between the flashbacks showing us players a very different Lycaon and the way Hugo can and will still get under Lycaons skin throughout the scenes we see them together in the present, I can't stop picturing the VHK girls getting to see Lycaon sassing back at Hugo, or getting flustered in a way he can't seem to hide behind poise, or acting more youthful, God, imagine them getting to see him playing along with some of Hugo's theatric! And even if he doesn't tolerate much bullshit like in that flashback where he kicks over the chair, can you imagine present day Lycaon doing that? Not easily, because he's always trying to present himself as the perfect butler to everyone, but we have in our minds that the person he is now grew up from that person so it feels less impossible to us than to those who never knew him back then like the girls.

MAYBE Rina saw at least some of that youth when he first joined but he seemed to have been dead serious about making the most of this second chance as possible so probably not much. It would be bizarre for all of the other members of VHK to see him choose to be improper, to see this person they've just met who knows those other parts of Lycaon they didn't know existed able to tease them out like he's digging for buried treasure and, in his own way, clearly valuing every scrap he finds.

Not to day I don't think Hugo doesn't value Lycaons main face too, that's the one he was relying on understanding the code and all. I just think that that dynamic they used to have had a lot of messing around like we see in those flashbacks, they were scrappy and sassy and messed around, and Hugo never post that part of himself that loved to do that while Lycaon, who had always been less of the instigator of those moments, tried to reinvent himself as someone who's always serious to some extent. Hugo would be the key to unlocking that, he's literally the only person who knows it, and more importantly would want to because they're now figuring out the new version of that old dynamic and how their new selves fit into it. It would be awkward and difficult for both of them except for those moments where Hugo digs past the poise and dignity and finds the parts of Lycaon who also want to taste their old dynamic again and they get to forget about their new differences and ill-fitting pieces and probably a lot about their present day worries too, and just feel like they never parted for a moment while having some fun.

That, I think, would be the thing to really start to change the girls minds on Hugo and what he can bring to Lycaon's life that nonodh else can, and from there they could understand more of how their present day relationship is shaking out, how much they both value the other in so many ways and will never stop caring about the others wellbeing even through the worst break up in history so they're not stopping now they've talked that break uo through. They might still wish that the person their beloved Lycaon was seemingly forever entangled with was a bit less of a little shit, a bit less arrogant, a bit less or more anything, but they'd get sooner or later that theres nobody else who CAN mean to these two what they mean to each other

Working on that crown wolf/Lycaon x Hugo vlad stuff for you now (ngl I’ve been wanting an excuse to make stuff about them so I’m prolly doing several doodles and a oneshot fic) BUT IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT WHAT THE REST OF VICTORIA HOUSEKEEPING WOULD THINK OF HUGO. So here’s my take:

Ellen 100% judges tf out of him. She’s like “Lycaon you can do better”. She just shit talks to Hugo Vlad to his face. Meets him and is like “oh your my dads-I mean Lycaon’s weird twink ex husband-okay. I guess i expected more.” JUST SO DRY AND RUTEHLESS IN HER TAKE DOWNS OF HUGO.

I think Corin tries to be nice but gets very awkward very quickly. She ends up nervously not talking much and accidentally gives Hugo the impression he fucked up trying to introduce himself.

Rina idk tbh. I could see her being chill and nice or somewhat like annoyed with him. It kinda depends on the context for me they meet tbh.

But yeah I love Victoria housekeeping, they’re my favorite faction. Any thoughts on a potential “the others meet Hugo” scenario?

Ah-ha!! I am glad that I gave you the excuse, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with!

Love your take, honestly. Ellen would 100% do that. And I think Rina would just hate his guts from the get-go, ahahaha. She'd of course only tease him in the most passive-agressive way, while staying civil, but yeah. I don't know. Although I believe she might not know the details of Lycaon's past and his break up with Hugo (as Lycaon doesn't strike me as someone who would share a lot about himself), she would probably have a very strong gut feeling about how things went down and therefore consider Hugo an enemy of the state (at least until proven otherwise)

And with Corin… I think Corin would actually somewhat like him. She'd probably just think that he's an elegant and charming guy, if a little weird. And if Lycaon used to like him, he can't be such a bad guy, right? But yeah, as you said, it is very likely that she would make things awkward with her anxiety

If I had to guess where they'd meet… I'd say some sort of official banquet or a gala. Where Victoria Housekeeping is working for one of their rich clients and Hugo is mingling while trying to spy on his potential new targets. And Lycaon just so happens to be elsewhere on another important mission.

I wouldn't be very surprised if Hugo was actually the one to approach Victoria Housekeeping first, out of curiosity what Lycaon's new coworkers are like...... then regret it, hahaha

[belle-in-denial]

I have a confession: sometimes I see posts from people saying that they always knew they were trans or that they've always struggled with it and, idk, sometimes it makes me feel fake. Obviously, keep sharing your experiences because it helps others, but like... I grew up not caring much about, well, myself. I didn't have much of an internalized identity further than "I like my friends and I like being nice to them" (I was the "innocent one") and it's like... I never would've even noticed if a work mate of mine didn't recommend therapy. I had this moment leading up to it where I was introspective for the first time in my life. 2 decades of realizations hit like a truck, and I think that's the reason I struggle so much with the idea: because I've never needed to. I've never really looked at myself in terms of who/what I am until more recently, because I've never had a reason to. I have friends who support me, family who do the same, but it's just... idk, I guess it kinda obfuscated things. Excluding appearance, I never cared whether things were gendered, I just did them anyway. It makes things... difficult... because there's a part of my brain that goes "are you really going to risk fucking up your body and relationships for something that doesn't matter?" And I know it does matter; it's literally who I am, but who I am has not mattered to me for so long. I feel like- I feel like the risk of being wrong weighs on me more heavily because, until recently, I wouldn't have cared much about the benefits of being right. I just wanted to get that off my chest...

[princessbumbles-blog]

ꪮꪊ᥅ ᦓꪻꪖ᥅ᦓ

ᴡʟғ!Aʙʙʏ × ʙᴇsᴛ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Content: fluff; Friends that like each other but are too dumb; Abby and more Abby

June, 2039

Pt. 3 - Afections

You were sitting on your rooms floor, Your back against your unmade bed, feeling your hands shake slightly against your will, when the door opened and closed.

"Dumbass" Abby's voice reaches you, together with her strong footsteps.

She went down those couple of stairs to your side of the room and stopped, staring at you.

"Did you really need to hide in here?"

She is joking, using that usual voice tone for moments when she is unsure about what to do.

"What happened?"

You really didn't want to speak, not because you were mad but because it felt like torture to make a sound. Any vibration seemed to make your anxiety worse.

"The usual" you manage to say.

"Which one"

"Don’t make me talk, Abby" you ask and the silence lingers.

You focus your eye's attention on the animals down there through the window in front of you. You loved them, the cows and the shep, they were so simple yet sometimes difficult to deal with, but it was the kind of trouble you feel grateful for having.

If nature is your biggest problem then your life is good.

"Nick told me you were out there and..."

"Maybe I should change positions" You interrupt her "And work on the farms"

Abby frowns. "You would hate cleaning their shit," she smiles, trying to strike one in you.

But It doesn't work.

"Better then having to kill a fucking kid" you say, in a monotonous voice tone.

You feel Abby's eyes on you, waiting for more explanation, but you can't, so you just bite the inside of your cheek.

"So, Nick said you encountered Scars and it all went to shit" Abby says "What happened?"

"Nothing"

"Why don’t you talk to me?"

"Because I don't want to!" You raise your voice. "I dont want to remember what happened"

Abby notices your shaking hands and looks again into your eyes. Glossy. You want to cry, but, like usual, you are trying too hard to block it.

She crosses her arms in front of your chest. "Get up"

You roll your eyes.

"Get up" She insists "You know what's going to happen if you don't"

You sigh, annoyed, blurting a "for fuck's sake" before aggressively getting up from the floor.

"Here, happy?"

"{Your Name}...." She calls your name softly.

Your eyes avoid hers, looking everywhere. Your hands find your arms whose skin is picked by your nails, a sign that you are either nervous or anxious, maybe both. Abby keeps her eyes on you, knowing it will eventually break you.

It took a while to figure out how to make you open up to her, after a lot of insults from you. Abby hates it in some part, because she always cries like a baby in front of you, melting instantly, but you are built like a rock.

She wants to make you melt too, so she repeats your name, gently, again and again before she starts to see the tears forming in your eyes.

"You can tell me. You know that. I'm here" she says.

A knot forms in your throat. "I...hm...I...the kid tried to....you know" a tear falls "he tried to ....so I ...shot him. On the head"

More tears fall and you hug yourself, still avoiding your friend's eyes.

"Then my hands started to shake and I.....I lost it."

"You had a panick attack?"

You nood, fast, trying to controll the huge wave of tears that were threatening your voice.

"I killed a kid, Abby I...a fucking kid for fucks sake. I killed a boy" you start to rumble, scratching your arms like your skin was bothering you.

Abby's hands flew to your wrists "Hey, hey...I know, I know" and she squeezed them, pulling them off your arms. "I'm sorry that happened. It's alright, you didn’t mean it. Unfortunately, it is the most common thing around here."

"It shouldn't be"

"Yhea, but....think that maybe you did a favour to that kid. He is at peace now, and not hiding away with hammers and wars"

You swallow, anxiously trying to find some relief on Abby's words, but the sensations on your body where corrupting your thoughts, disseminating panic everywhere.

"I feel sick" you cry out.

"It is just the anxiety" Abby says, but she knows dam well your fear of vomit is something irrational and extremely overwhelming.

"I feel so sick, Abby ...I'm scared." Your hands began to shake again under Abby's grip. "I'm so scared....Abby....Abby.."

"Shhh, I know. Breath in and out, it is not real"

Your lower lip trembles. Fuck, it is so rare to see you like this, Abby's chest tightened.

"Abby..." your voice breaks "What if I..."

"Nothing is going to happen" She says, with a determined tone "Come here"

As you feel your friends arms around you, you let yourself cry out the panic. Abby smeels the same, pine, so familiar.

"Everything's fine, nothing is going to happen" She repeats like a mantra, just like her father used to say. Like she wished someone had done that to her after his death.

But now, she had someone she wanted to protect, and it gave her a sense of comfort.

The next day, Abby was at Isaac's office, frustrated.

"She is too good. We need strong soldiers out there, strong, " Isaac repeats himself.

"Fuck that" Abby says "She did enough. You have a lot of strong soliders. Put her on the farms, she will be useful"

For some reason, Abby couldn't bear the thought of you out there again, dealing with shit that had nothing to do with you and ending up like last night.

"She will remain on ground coverage, end of story"

"I can take her shifts!" The girl exclaims

But Isaac just sighs.

"Is this friendship going to bring me trouble?" He raises his voice "There’s already you and Owen. Now, this?"

Silence.

"You better focus on your responsibilities, Abby, or do I have to intervene? I need loyal soldiers, not brats. Are we clear?"

Abigail stares at him, feeling the anger rise up and down her chest.

"Yes, Sir"

She had no other option.

"Good."

It was unfair. So unfair. Abby walked down the hallway with strong steps, frowning so deeply that people moved out of her away faster than usual.

She never cared for the injustices of the system Isaac had put up, but she was alone before and her goal occupied all the space in her mind.

But now, you existed. Your friendship started as something casual but it developed to something stronger, even tho Abby didn’t like to admit it.

You became an essential part of her life, like you have always been there in the first place.

"Hey Abs," Owen's voice makes Abby stop on her tracks.

There is only two people on that place that call her by the nickname her father used with her: You and Owen.

Him because he always did, and you because you started using it naturally, with such care and happiness that it actually gave Abby some sense of familiarity she hadn't felt in years.

"Hey" Abby says, turning around.

He stared at her in silence for a couple of seconds. "Bad day?"

Abby sighs, nodding with her head. "Isaac's being a dick"

Owen scoffs. They walk together with their shoulders bumping on each other. Too close to Abby’s liking, but she can't resist.

"It really sucks," Owen says after hearing what happened to you.

"Yhea, I'm really scared for her"

"She's a big girl. I'm sure she will be able to handle herself"

"She will, but...He could give her a break. I don't understand why he refuses"

"I mean, no one should receive special treatment"

Abby looks at Owen with a frown. His words were too direct and too brutal.

"Why are you being so mean?" She asks, automatically stepping away from him.

"I'm not trying to be mean. I just understand that if Isaac starts making favours like these to everyone, people would take advantage of that. He needs to give everyone the same treatment and opportunities, and that's on us to manage it"

Abby keeps staring at him, up and down, judging his words, trying to understand if he was being serious.

"Gosh, don't look at me so suprised!" He complains, with a smile.

"For someone so liberal and unhappy with your life, you sounded like a true loyal fucking soldier" The big girl crosses her arms in front of her chest, making Owen roll his eyes.

"C'mon Abs, I may be unhappy, but that doesn’t mean that I don't understand what Isaac needs to do to maintain a place like this functioning"

"So it is okay to ignore his soldiers' struggles?"

"No, but keeping this perception in mind helps me to not freak out. Like, I'm the only one who can make my life easier. " He opens his arms a little, like it is the quote of the year,"Maybe it can help {your name} too"

The girl remains in silence, digesting it, while he observes her. It's been a while since they had spent proper time together.

"You two are inseparable now" He comments "Is she that good of a friend?"

"What type of a question is that?" Abby laughs.

"Is she better than me?" He teases, bumping his elbow on hers.

"You are such an idiot" Abby says, just a tease she always does to him...like old times.

"Alright, but answer me. Do I have competition?"

"Holy shit Owen " She takes some steps foward, challenging "Are you jealous?"

He scoffs. "Please. I know nobody is better then me"

"Careful, your girlfriend may interpret this wrong"

"Always using the girlfriend card, uh?"

Both let out some laughs, like old friends catching up. But it wasn’t like that.

Owen was feeling weird, he hated it, how jealous he actually was because before you, he was the only one deeply close to Abby, but suddenly you appeared out of nowhere.

He had a girlfriend. He liked her. He and Abby were past now, it didn't work. But he hated the feeling of losing Abby. He hated that maybe you making her feel the way he used to make her feel.

However, he doesn't really hate you. He actually respects you, for being able to crack Abby open.

"She's weird, in a good away" Abby says, quietly "she makes me feel less alien, and she is also cool to be around"

It was a very short version of what Abby could actually say, but she didn't feel comfortable telling Owen about it.

"Good. That's good, Abs"

Later, after work, Abby entered the cafeteria that was buzzing with voices and laughs. She approached the usual table with some food, sitting by your side.

"That's why there's no really true Americans" Manny was saying, with his mouth full of food.

"Of course. We all are a mix of communities ...or nationalities, if you want to call it like that." You speak, giving Abby a quick smile.

"But if you were born in America then you are American" Nick says, sitting by Manny's side.

Abby nooded to some people passing by. That place was full, a little unsual, but maybe it was summer lightning up people's modds.

"Yes, but we sre discussing the blood argument. Like, what the fuck does being a pure American mean? Being white and dumb? We are a mix of people from everywhere. Oh, we are descendents from...shut up. Even cow's shit goes on the equation" You argue, angrily shoving some rice into your mounth.

Abby arches her eyebrown. "What hell are you three talking about?"

"Your girl here is throwing her intellectual knowledge at us," Nick mocks you, throwing a bit of rice at your arm.

"I'm just communicating the facts," you defend yourself. "You know, some of us actually read books, not just patrol schedules. STOP THROWING THE RICE AT ME GOD DAMMIT!!"

Manny and Abby laugh. "We heard Robert say some problematic shit earlier," Manny says. "She is calling him a fascist," he points at you.

"And isn't he? Oh wait, Nick, do you know what a facist is?"

"You are so fucking funny, aren't you?"

Abby's gaze stays on you, admiring the smile adorning your face as you tease Nick. It was so good to see you alive again. Your version from last night had nothing to do with this fierce and stubborn girl. Your eyes were shinning.

When she turns her head back to her plate, she notices Manny staring with a grin.

"What?"

"Nothing"

After eating, Abby slapped your arm slightly, signaling for you to get up and get out of there.

"Are you sleeping on her room again?" Manny asks, making her look between him and Nick awkwardly.

"Yhea?"

"Just checking. If I'm lucky I will be able to bring that nurse with me tonight" He blinks at Nick who laughs proudly at his friend.

In your room, your roomate, Max, was already sleeping, so you and Abby layed down on your bed, reading your books in silence by the lamp's light on the bedside tables.

After half an hour, you two put away your books and turn the lights off, staying in the silence of the dark, laying on your sides, staring at each other.

"How was your day?" Abby whispers.

"Good, I guess. Maybe just normal. And yours?"

"Normal as well"

You lift your hand, tracing the sides of Abby’s arm, like you do so many times.

"Can I braid your hair tomorrow?" You ask

"Sure"

Your fingers dance on her skin, building that nice sense of comfort in Abby's chest. She closes her eyes for some seconds, enjoying the feeling.

You drag your hands up her face, tracing the lines of it with your fingertips, slowly, feeling every inch, every curve of her nose, every bit of texture. Then, you slip one finger over her lips and she is quick to bite you.

You laugh, covering your mouth with your other hand to muffle the sound.

"Idiot" you whispered, and the only thing in response was Abby's muffled laugh.

Suddenly Abby's fingers are on your face, doing the same thing. It was not the first time, and probably wouldn't be the last. You two didn't know why you were doing it, it just felt too good to stop.

You closed your eyes as well, like if you focused enough, Abby could feel all the love you felt for her with her touch.

When her fingers reached your lips, Abigail was expecting some revengeful bite, instead, you kiss them, gently and lightly. She doesn't react, just stays there with her hand, and you kiss the knots on her fingers again, and again.

It was during nights like these, in the dark of your room, when the two of you would perform acts of affection, like it was natural. The limits of friendship didn't seem to exist, or maybe you two just didn't need it. Deep down, you wanted to share this kind of intimacy, and doing it with each other seemed...right? None of you judge the other, and together, you slowly explore, crossing the line step by step, without saying a word about it.

However, It was so confusing to you. On one hand, it happened too naturally and it felt too good to need to name it, but on the other hand, questions would rise.

Was this wrong?

Suddenly, you join your toungue, licking her fingers and making Abby pull them away. You muffled another laugh as Abby makes indignation sounds.

"Ew!!" She laughs "you are so dead"

You feel her hands grabbing you and her body coming closer so you scream silently, fighting Abby away but failing miserably, receiving her toungue licking your cheek in a pretty nasty way.

"Abigaillll!!!" You complain, using the sheets to clean your skin.

"Someone got what she deserved" she mocked you.

Abigail loved these nights, where she felt so free and careless. Without any pressure, any responsibilities or drama. It was just the two of you, laughing around, feeling good.

She never really questioned these acts of affection. At least not yet.

The two of you drifted into sleep, still tangled in the warmth that lingered after your playful clash.

In the morning, you woke up naturally, with your eyes opening slowly as though stirred by a breeze.

It was rare, but this morning, your body felt truly rested. Abby was still sleeping beside you, unmoved by the world, so you stayed still, listening to the soft rhythm of her breathing.

Her hand, as always, had found its way towards you in slumber, reaching, half-curled, almost touching. Did she know her hand sought you, even in her sleep.

So, you took it quietly, weaving your fingers with hers, tenderly, careful not to wake her. Her hand was so broad, calloused by the weight of life’s demands, but still pale and oddly delicate in your grasp. You thought, for a heartbeat, about kissing her knuckles again, but the thought drew too much of the world back in, and so you stayed still.

Everything, in that moment, was perfect. Despite all the violence you had to face every day, Abigail somehow made it all feel distant.

You smirked quietly to yourself. Manny truly did deserve a life changing head in for bringing her into your orbit.

With a sigh, you nestled just a little closer, forehead resting against her shoulder and her hand still curled in yours, now resting gently against your chest.

It felt so good.

Suddenly, Abby’s body shifted in her sleep, rolling towards you, and in one smooth, unthinking motion, she wrapped herself around you, pulling you tight like a child clutching a stuffed toy.

You froze.

Never had the two of you slept like this before. It was… intimate in a way you hadn’t dared imagine.

But Abby didn’t stir beyond that so it must’ve been an accident. Of course it was.

You tried to shift but Abby weighed like a fallen tree so you surrendered with a sigh, already spiraling through the thoughts of how impossibly awkward this would be when she woke up. Yet the heat of her body was an inviting weight. Your eyes began to flutter closed not out of sleep, but surrender, and gently nestled your face against the curve of her neck.

God. She smelled so good. Like something sweet and quiet.

Like the smell of a newborn soft and innocent and warm. You knew that scent. You’d once held a baby in the maternity wing of the base. But Abby also smelled like sunlight.

You’d only seen the sea once, on a rare warm morning where the waves met a meadow strewn with tiny white flowers the kind used in chamomile tea, you’d later learned.

She was that exact memory: brightness and breeze. And here you were, face buried against her skin, drowning in the scent of home.

Minutes passed like mist. Then, slowly, Abby stirred.

Still heavy with sleep, she shifted. Her brow furrowed faintly when she realized her arms were around something. She looked down and found you tucked there, but she didn’t jolt or pull away. She just yawned, adjusted her limbs, and let her eyes fall closed again.

How could this not mean something to her?

“Good morning,” she mumbled, voice cracked with sleep.

“Good morning,” you whispered into her neck.

“Sorry. Rolled right over you.”

“It’s fine.”

She shifted again, the weight of her arm draping back over you. “You’re so warm,” she said not annoyed, “I should get up, but you’re making it really hard.”

You laughed, though something cold unspooled in your belly. “You’re the one who tried to smother me in your sleep.”

At that, Abby deliberately collapsed her full weight on top of you just long enough to make your heart spike in panic. Then, with a smirk tugging at her lips, she rolled away and sat up, leaving you alone under the sheets.

She stretched, her long, sun-worn hair cascading down her back.

“Have you been having any nightmares?” you asked.

“Nope,” she replied casually, already rummaging for her usual pants.

“So I’m officially anti-nightmare,” you teased, making Abby turn to shoot you a playful grimace.

Once dressed, she ran her fingers through her hair in a quick sweep. “Weren’t you supposed to braid this?” she asked.

“Hell yeah. Come here.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, and you moved behind her, kneeling, your fingers already parting strands with practiced care. You started the tight, perfectly symmetrical braid she wore every day, and if done wrong, could break the day before it even began.

You day unrolled separately. Isaac wanted to catch up with you, witch made Abby nervous, while she was sent to the medical wing to help to carry boxes of new found stuff.

It was boring, but definitely better then going outside. She was not in a mood for that.

"So, how's the married life been?" Max, your roomate, asked.

Max was a very versatile girl. She could be doing anything. Teaching children how to read, fixing the jeeps or helping with an amputation. Somehow, she had multiple jobs, and today she was giving a hand together with Abigail.

"What?"

"I'm just kidding," She smiles. "I just noticed you have been sleeping a lot in our room"

Abby puts down a box with a loud bang. "Yhea, I mean, It is better then sleeping in the same space as Manny"

Manny was always the best excuse.

"Mhm, I see. If I had a very close friend I would probably have sleepovers every night as well. I guess I understand"

Abby noods, hoping it to be the end of the conversation. Oh, but she does't know Max.

"Actually" She goes again, opening a box and taking a bag of something Abby doesn't pay attention to "I can't spend that much time with my friends, I always need some alone time to recharge, ya know? However....I don't mind being with my booboo everyday"

"Your what??" Abby blinks, confused.

Max laughs. "Your face is so funny. Booboo is what I call my....crushes? Boyfriends? Girlfriends? Romantic interests? My special person? You know, that one person we can't get enough of"

The way Max is smiling, like she knows something or is accusing Abby of something she can't quite grasp.

"Right...yhea...I guess" Abby says, not sure what to say or even think.

"Don’t you get tired of {your name}?"

"Hum...No?"

After putting down one more box, Abby realizes Max's smile is even bigger.

"You are acting crazy, dude" Abby notes, looking her up and down. "Stop smiling like that!"

"Do you know {your name} likes girls?"

"What the...yes, I do, Max"

"Hmh. I'm just checking. I have had some friends like that too, you know, close friends. But we always ended up making out"

And with that piece of information, she grabs some medical stuff and turns around, happily disappearing through a door.

Abby stayed behind, frozen in place, realizing just now what Max was trying to imply.

☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆

Note: It's been hard to express my ideas into English. Sorry if some parts are more developed than others. And sorry for the mistakes.

@lia-winther

[wisps-writes-fic]

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Prompt:

sex tutoring ! platonic

Mel wants to figure out what she likes and Jack Abbot has a reputation. Who better to learn from than the expert, right?

Optional: Langdon in the background losing his mind repeating "sex tutoring!?" to himself in an increasingly baffled tone of voice.

CW: Smut

~~~~~

Mel

“If you want to back out, it’s always an option.”

Mel took a breath to steady herself, sitting a little straighter when Abbot’s hands came to rest on her shoulders from behind. She was really, truly about to cross the line no professional should cross in the workplace. But after remaining celibate for so long—after hearing the other women around her when she started the night shift whispering about their own thoughts regarding what their attending would be like in bed—she couldn’t help but be curious.

She hadn’t asked him outright. But her tongue had slipped as it was prone to do. “Not much time to explore my own interests nowadays,” she’d grumbled one day they were alone in the staff lounge.

And Abbot, for whatever reason, had pushed. Not just warned her about burnout or joked about hermit life, but dug at her fleeting comment.

And it had led them here, he trying to decide how to approach a young woman who hadn’t been intimate with anyone since stepping up as her sisters caretaker, and she grappling with all the ways fucking her attending could go south.

She wasn’t worried about him telling their colleagues, of course. It was common knowledge he didn’t share his private life. Never boasted anything. He was respected because of his quiet confidence and competency in the workplace. That didn’t mean their plan was risk free, though.

“Mel,” he pressed softly.

“I’m fine. I can do this. I want to do this. It’s just been… a while.”

He withdrew, the warmth of his hands fading with each step he took coming around the sofa. “This is about discovering what you enjoy. We’ll go at the pace you need. Stop all together, if need be.” She nodded. “Any particular concerns? Things you’re uncomfortable with?”

“I don’t exactly…” She groaned. “I did establish the extent of my education ends with backseat fumbling, right?” Abbot chuckled. “And um, you should know…”

He took her hand, squeezing in encouragement. If there was one thing Mel managed to predict when it came to her attending, reserved as he may be, it was that he was not a selfish man. Going into this as a guide, he would likely try to focus on her completion. “I just—if it seems like—I’ve never actually orgasmed,” she finally blurted, feeling her face and neck heat.

His brows flicked up a moment. “And now you’re convinced there’s something wrong with you?” His lip quirked. “It may be difficult and take time, but I guarantee you’re more than capable. You just need a partner that knows how to get you there.” There was a promise in his eyes and Mel knew he’d taken her confession as a challenge. “Ready?” She nodded again. “Bedroom, we’ll have more space.”

“How much space do we need?” His lips quirked again and he pressed a hand to the small of her back, guiding her down the hall. The room was neat. Sparsely decorated with a four drawer dresser, a queen size bed with a simple quilt, and a single nightstand. About what she’d expect of a man like Abbot. Functional with little frill. 

He only gave her the time it took to turn down the bed to observe the space, reaching for her scrub and shirt hem when he returned. She reached back to unclasp her bra with a bit more hesitation, but still let him ease her down onto the bed. “Do you masturbate at home?”

“Sometimes. Not often.”

He gave a curt nod. “Show me.”

Mel flushed again, but did as she was told. He was trying to help, after all. She could listen. Fighting the self-consciousness, she slipped a hand beneath her waistband, starting to circle her clit. “Start here,” he corrected gently, circling her wrists to guide her back up her body, helping her trail her open fingers down her neck, over her breasts. “There could be a dozen reasons you and past partners couldn’t find the finish line. Neglecting more sensitive areas of your body. Elements you need may have been missing. Everyone’s slightly different. ”

“Elements?” she asked softly.

“Longer foreplay, focus on a particular stimulation.” He nudged one hand aside, pinching her nipple between two fingers and tugging. She groaned softly. He smirked. “Pain play can be a wonderful thing, with the right partner.”

“Abbot—”

“Jack,” he murmured. “Call me Jack outside of the hospital.”

“Jack. I think demonstration would benefit me more than observation at the moment.”

He gave her a true laugh then, but didn’t deny the request. “We’ll come back around to this lesson, then. Any of those fumbling boys go down on you?” he asked, starting to work her pants and underwear down her legs, shoes and socks discarded upon arrival.

“A brief effort was made.” He raised a brow. “He wasn’t enthusiastic, if that’s what your asking. Look, we’ve already established my lack of experience, will you stop asking—Shit.”

He didn’t even hesitate, sweeping his tongue through the slickness that had just begun to pool, shifting down the bed to throw her legs over his shoulders and better angle himself. She whimpered when his head tilted ever so slightly, nose bumping her clit. She just managed not to grind against his face, but she couldn’t help the descent of her hands, curling tight in his hair.

He groaned against her when her grip tightened, shifting his attention to her clit and pushing two fingers into her core. “Jack!” Mel yelped, pulling her hands away, slightly panicked. She trembled beneath him, shocked she’d finally found someone who could play her body so easily. Throw her into this state, hot and aching and desperate.

He eased up, mouth pulling away from her clit. “Relax, don’t fight your body. You’re allowed to enjoy this. Connection is a key part in this. You’re allowed to touch me, sweetheart.”

It was that assurance that settled her. And the name. Not condescending or infantilizing as most men made it. Not truly intimate either. Just an endearment from a mentor she trusted. And it served its purpose, because she had been letting their work dynamic into this. She had been hesitating to give in. And Jack could take care of her, if she let him.

Reading that on her, Jack relaxed too. “Good girl.” 

He was only gentle for a moment, working her back up embarrassingly fast, each stroke over her hips and thighs serving silent praise when she lifted her hips to meet him or let him hear the affect his mouth on her had—each sigh and whimper and whine he earned with his devotion to his task. “I think—”

“Don’t fight it, sweetheart.” His fingers curled, pressing deeper than ever. She came with a cry, nails grazing the back of his neck as she searched for that connection he encouraged. Jack growled against her, not letting up until she pushed him away, whining. “Still with me?” he asked when she managed to lift her head. “You did well.”

“Didn’t do much.”

“Vulnerabilty is half the equation,” he explained, hands tracing her figure. Not to arouse, but to soothe. “Trusting someone takes strength. Which is why I think it’s time we take a step back.” Mel flinched. Of course she’d fucked up somewhere. “Hey. Don’t do that. We step back for tonight. I don’t want to push too far, too fast.” “If you’re done with this, you can say it to my face.” “That isn’t—” “Then I call the shots on when we stop. That was the deal when you offered to help me.” He drew back slightly, clearly surprised to see a little bite she didn’t let show at work. “I want to keep going.” Jack nodded and she straddled his lap, stripping his upper body and grinding down on the hardened length beneath her. His pants would be soaked through in moments, thanks to the building slick between her legs. He kept his grip loose around her hips, letting her set her own pace grinding through the fabric. “Alright, hold on.” She stood long enough to let him strip the rest of his clothing and lean back against the headboard. The full picture was impressive to say the least. Finally seeing the defined muscle great many of the staff suspected. The happy trail leading down to his impressive length. Jack Abbot was a silver fox in every sense of the word. Mel might not have the sort of crush on him her colleagues did, but she wasn’t blind. “You want to ride me?” he asked, opening a condom. “Come here then.” ~~~~~ Jack

Melissa King was a remarkable resident. Eager to learn, confident in her diagnoses and execution. It had very quickly made her his favorite of the new batch. He was shameless in stealing her from Robby’s day crew.

Attentive as he was with his people, he knew something was off with her. Cornered her when it would be least suspicious and slowly worked out the problem from there. Inserting himself as the solution was probably a mistake waiting to happen, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

The arrangement was strictly platonic, but he was finding great pleasure in this new area of mentorship all the same. “Fuck,” he hissed when she started to sink down his length. She whimpered, forehead pressed to his shoulder as she worked herself onto him inch by inch. “Good, Mel. How’s that feel?”

“Good. Really good. Full.”

He slowly worked to free her braid, running his fingers through the length of it. “Take your time, sweetheart.” Her grip on his shoulders tightened again and she circled her hips, lifted herself a few times to test the motion, slowly gaining confidence. It was an effort not to grab her waist and take control. It was her show to run. Her interests to discover. It wasn’t about him. Even as the feel of her clenching around him drove him that much closer to insanity. “Mel, honey, not as young as I used to be. If you don’t get a move on I’m not gonna last as long as you.” 

She froze above him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. “I um—” 

Mel began blinking rapidly, flustered, and Jack was quick to press a hand to the small of her back. “You’re okay. Just give me a chance to maintain a bit of my dignity here, yeah?” She bobbed her head, still a bit uneasy. There was a silent request in her eyes. Permission, too, allowing Jack to adjust his grip around her waist and set a firm rhythm that would help the both of them.

“Can you keep on like that for me?” he asked softly, releasing her waist to trail his hands back up her torso and cup her breasts. She faltered slightly when he began thumbing her nipples.  “Eyes here, sweetheart. Almost there, aren’t you?”  “Yes. I’m close.” “Eyes,” he repeated the next time she tried to hide her face. “Jack.” “I know, honey.” Hold regained, he guided her through the last few strokes, keeping her locked tight against him when she finally came, his orgasm just behind. “Fuck, kid.” She giggled, clearly a little cock drunk. But damn it, but she was adorable that way. Jack left her long enough to dispose of the condom and get bottled waters from the fridge and a couple of rags to clean up. He didn’t push her to talk to him, just offered her the water and cleaned the worst of the mess. Sent her to use the bathroom before they both crawled into the bed. “You really don’t have to—” “I’m not sending you home like this, King. Get in the bed.” He was hesitant to touch her at first. The sexual aspect had been discussed. The extent of aftercare had not. But she didn’t seem bothered when he wrapped an arm around her from behind. “What are you thinking?” Her cheeks went a little pink. “That I still can’t believe I actually fucked my attending.” He chuckled. “Your secret’s safe with me, kid.”