#[ then we started to make a lot of graphics when we were in the BF Unsolved fandom hohoho ]

[chaotic-mystery]

Pairing: Ex boyfriend!Frankie Morales x f!reader

Summary: Frankie doesn't know how to be an ex boyfriend and he doesn't know how to not take things too far.

Content Warnings: Smut, 18+ only MDNI. This is pre triple frontier and tom doesn't exist LOL, mentions of alcohol, a little drinking, reader can swim, toxic ex bf! Frankie, he knows zero boundaries, swearing, mentions of blood, (1) injury to your forehead thanks to catfish himself, patching up your injury, Frankie can lift reader onto the countertop, hate sex, fingering, dirty talk, p in v sex, Frankie smooshes your face against the mirror but gently, a little manhandling, nipple play, you become a toaster strudel at the end, (1) ass smack.

Authors Note: I guess this is my intro to Frankie, nailed it. I could not stop talking about this fucking idea to the hens and I'm so glad I breathed life into it. This was inspired by the song No More Friends by Olivia O'Brien. Granted.....the smut was a last minute idea but who doesn't love smut? Thank you @pedgito for the beta read, I love you <3 || wc: 3.4k || divider by me @cyberangel-graphics ||

Even though you weren’t with Frankie anymore and hadn’t been for a few months, Benny still invited you to his pool party to celebrate his big win in the ring from the other night. The breakup was messy but the guys were amicable about it and didn’t choose sides like Frankie wanted them to. He seemed to forget you were friends with all of them before you dated him.

You weren’t nervous to see Frankie anymore at these types of things, you were so over him and the bullshit he pulled. Or, at least that’s how you wanted to come across. Not a soul would ever know you were still hurt by him so you had no choice but to fake it till you make it. Through lots of self reflection and lots of nights out with your friends, you realized you didn’t need him, at all. Not even as a friend like he suggested. You had enough friends. You just wanted him and who he used to be when you first got together. 

“Do you think he’ll be there?” Your friend in the driver's seat looks in your direction for a second and you respond with a small chuckle before diving into your purse to fish out your phone. 

“Oh, absolutely. I got a text earlier before we left-” you start to read aloud the contents. 

“Are you going to Benny’s thing tonight? I can come swing by and pick you up if you need a ride.” 

The entire car responds with either a scoff or sound of disgust. 

“Yeah, no thank you.” 

The tires crunch over the gravel leading to the house and you don’t see Frankie’s car yet. Maybe he changed his mind and decided it would be better not to come. He always flaked on people, especially you. Date nights were good in theory but they would never become real. One two many times he left you sitting alone at the restaurant because he “lost track of time” with the guys.

Once everyone makes it to the backyard, the music thumps louder and louder in your chest and you don’t even see Benny through the crowd of people at first. Playing beer pong over by the shed to the left of the in ground pool, William and Benny shout like cavemen when the white ball sinks into the cup of flat beer for the other team. 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about, ladies and gentlemen!” You hear from behind you and instantly your body tenses up. 

Frankie. 

“Oh shit, sorry. Didn’t see you there. How are you? Do you need a drink?” 

“No, thanks.” Short and cold was the best way to go about this and maybe he’d get the hint to leave you alone. 

“Well damn, lady. Why so cold?” His tone sets your body ablaze and if looks could kill.

“Frankie, what part of leave me the fuck alone did you not understand? You don’t need to pretend like you really give a fuck about me. We can exist without speaking to one another.” 

His face drops and before he can answer, you turn on your heels and disappear into the crowd to go finish saying hi to the rest of the guys. 

Not too many people were in the pool but that didn’t stop you from getting in once you greeted all of your friends and left your belongings in Benny’s room where you knew they’d be safe. 

“Cmon, don’t be a baby! Get in!” You shouted at Santi who was sitting in a pool chair with a beer bottle in his hand. 

“Maybe later, I’m relaxing right now.” A soft smile grows on his face and you roll your eyes before dipping underwater, the cool temperature relaxing your body. 

Everytime you’d turn to the wall to get your cup and take a drink, Frankie was lingering in peripheral vision ogling how good you looked in your bathing suit and waiting to interject to say something, anything to get you to be kind. That ship had sailed no matter how much it hurt.

The night went on and the overcrowded lawn slowly died down to a respectable size group and Benny convinced the guys to play marco polo with you. You could see Frankie sulking in the plastic pool chair by the deep end, cuddling with his plastic red cup filled with whatever he was drinking. 

“Who still plays marco polo? Are you guys in fuckin’ junior high?”

“Who wears a button down to a fuckin’ pool party?” you shout from the middle of the pool in a mocking tone with your eyes squeezed shut, trying to find William who was plastered against the wall.

Stifled laughter echoes around you and immediately you pick out Santi’s voice, swimming over to one spot until it gets louder and louder and splashing crashes around you. Not a word out of the crybaby sitting outside of the pool until you open your eyes and notice him kneeling down by Benny, whispering something in his ear before darting away into the house. A few more rounds of the game go by before Frankie comes out in a pair of swimming trunks he clearly borrowed. 

There’s no fucking way. There’s no way he really asked to borrow some trunks because of what you said to him. Was he really that bothered by it? Good, he should be. Water begins to flood around Frankie’s ankles as he walks down the concrete steps until he’s able to swim around, floating on his back to get his hair wet. Everything will be fine as long as he doesn’t touch you, or keep staring at you. 

Everyone was taking turns and even when Frankie was in the middle with his eyes closed, you’d occasionally yell out for him to find you. It was feeling somewhat normal again and it wasn’t easy pretending like you didn’t miss it, like you didn’t miss him. You were cracking and it was getting harder and harder to pretend you were fine. 

“Get your ass in the middle, c’mon!” William shouts at you and splashes the cool water on your face. 

“Don’t cheat this time, will you?” Benny laughs.

“I do not fucking cheat!” 

Before closing your eyes, you turn and look at Frankie, that disgusting feeling of butterflies in your stomach coming back to life. No, no this can’t happen. This isn’t happening. Stop, you fucking idiot. The voice in your head was loud and screaming at you to close your fucking eyes, unfortunately the last thing you seen was Frankie.

Everyone starts to swim around all over to throw you off before you call out to see where they were hiding. Just like a snap of your fingers everyone in the pool went silent and you waited to hear a movement or voice, laughter being swallowed. 

“Polo!” Frankie hollers and you stick out your hand to find him, water spilling from between your fingers as you raise it from below the surface. You yell out once more and he answers again in a softer tone this time. Everything around you muffled out, it felt like it was just you two. For a second you blink your eyes open before you touch his arm, getting a flash of this look on his face you hadn’t seen in a long time, even before the breakup. 

Santi comes up behind you and picks you up, dunking you into the water. It was a good way to clear your mind about Frankie, that’s for fucking sure. Swimming to the top and gasping a few times for air before opening your eyes, you look over at Santi who was laughing away with his arms treading water. 

“We told you not to cheat and you cheated!” 

Water droplets cascade down your forehead and Benny swims over to your left side, hooking his arm over your shoulders. Benny had always been a touchy person but you never thought anything of it, he was a really good friend to you. Nothing more. Clearly Frankie didn’t think that way considering how fast he scooped you up from behind and launched you forward. He didn’t have a really good grip on you though and fumbled you underwater, causing you to scrape your forehead on the floor. The chlorine stings the broken skin and you flinch instantly, swimming back up until fresh air fills your lungs. 

“Frankie what the fuck!” You shout and brush your hair out of the way, blood getting watered down and running down your forehead swiftly. The guys rush over hastily, all of them asking if you were okay but it all mushes together and your anxiety kicks in telling you to go to the bathroom and take care of it, don’t cause a scene. Swimming over to the stairs you could feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and welling up, your forehead feeling like there was a small heartbeat where the scrape was. Your friends notice you walking fast into the house and want to follow but you tell them you’re fine, you just need a moment alone. 

Once you make it upstairs to your purse, you pull out your compact mirror and look at the injury, the blood not stopping anytime soon.

Fucking Frankie. 

Ben’s bathroom was full of everything you need to fix yourself up. Dabbing an alcohol wipe over it to clean it as best as possible, you wince annoyingly at the pain. This shouldn’t be happening. Why did he do that? Why did he think throwing you around like everyone else was, would be a good idea? You weren’t friends. Taking the plastic wrapper off the back of the butterfly bandage, you press it firmly against your skin, looking at how stupid you feel with a white line plastered to the perimeter of your face. 

Thudding footsteps come running up the stairs and bust into Benny’s room and into the bathroom where you were sitting on the sink. 

“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to um– I'm sorry.” 

“Can you leave me alone? Jesus Christ! You don’t listen, do you! You just don’t quit!” Finally, you were at your breaking point. There was no more being nice, no more dancing on the line of being kind for the sake of his feelings.

“Why are you being like this, huh? What did I do to you?”

“Hello, do you remember you just cut my forehead open not even five damn minutes ago or?” 

“Even before that, you were being mean as soon as you got here! Why?” 

Throwing the box of bandages in the drawer and slamming it shut, you hop off the counter and stand chest to chest with Frankie. 

“Why did you break my fucking heart, Frankie?” Tears spilled out from your eyes and you didn’t care anymore. You cracked. It was hard keeping up this front like it didn’t bother you. 

“I don’t have an answer for you, I’m…I’m sorry.” His tone was hushed and his thumb grazed over your bandage, the soft and tenderness you’d been searching for months to get just a piece. Of course he would finally give it to you after you had already broken up. Classic Frankie. 

Snapping out of the emotional tornado you were spinning in, you shove him off you and suck your tears back, wiping your face dry. “I can’t move on when you’ve got me in this headspace, Frankie. I hate you, I fucking hate you. I hate you.” Your fists rattle against his chest as if you were trying to break through but you weren’t getting anywhere. Maybe it was the anger or the hurt, but something was tearing you down brick by brick and exposing you to him. Frankie’s warm hands wrap around your wrists and calm you until you’re no longer moving and wrapped in his arms, tucked away against his chest. He looks down at you after a few silent moments with him,  like old times your lips connected to his. As if no time had slipped away from you two Frankie engulfs you, his arms wrapping tighter around you like you’d fade away at any given moment. 

“Frankie–” you interject but his lips work faster against yours until you’re pushed up against the counter. 

“Say it again, tell me you hate me, baby.” A squeeze to your hip makes you squirm and subconsciously hike your leg up on him until his hand catches onto the back of your thigh, pressing himself deeper between your legs.

“I hate you so goddamn much. You are the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

It was true, he was the worst thing to ever happen to you. Heartbreak never accompanied you in such a way like this until Frankie. His hands push you right back on top of the sink and ever so gently he rests the back of your head against the mirror while his fingers dance along the side of your thigh. 

“If you hate me so much, why haven’t you left yet?” 

He got you there. You were sitting comfortably with Frankie’s hips between your knees, your bathing suit exposing more of your breasts from the way you were positioned in front of him but you didn’t care enough to move. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He kisses your cheek and trails down your neck softly as he awaits your answer. Your brain was a scrambled egg at this point, one half telling you this was going to be a bad idea and you’d regret it, the other telling you to give in, that you need him. 

“N-no, don’t stop. Don’t stop.” You whisper before kissing him once more, fingers tangling in his wet curls. Your tongue glides against his bottom lip to gain access into his mouth and he approves, parting his mouth a bit more for you to slip in and find his own tongue. Frankie groans slightly and pushes against you more, his hardening bulge pressing against the apex of your thighs. 

“Where do you need me, huh? Show me.” 

Frankie pulls away from your lips to look directly into your eyes as he places his palm on your abdomen, waiting to be guided like he didn’t know where you ached for him. Clutching onto his wrist, you push him further down your body until his fingers meet the wet material covering your needy pussy, throbbing to feel his fingers one more time. 

“Right here, baby? Still needy as ever, you’ll probably come in minutes if I do that thing you like.” The evil grin plastered on his face sent your heart skipping beats. Damn him. His pushed back hair had begun to dry, the ends starting to curl up the more you scrunched them with every kiss. 

Frankie’s fingertips graze over the top of your clothed clit and he grins happily at the sight of you losing every thought in your mind. The pleasure rang far too loud over your negative thoughts for you to be upset with what you were doing in the moment. It felt too good to stop, to get off the counter and tell him to go to hell, to get in your friend's car and drive away back home where you knew you’d stay up all night and think about him. 

“Cmon, hurry up before they notice how long we’re gone. Can you imagine what they’d say if they knew what we were doing up here?” You whine and maneuver out of your bathing suit bottoms, flinging them onto the tan tiled floor. The plop of wet clothing makes Frankie’s head tilt up to look at you and he’s completely captivated by your pushiness. 

“I can’t tell if you missed me or just missed getting fucked the way I fuck you.” His cockyness would eventually lead him to get humbled, but today wasn’t that day, especially not now.

“Frankie just shut up and fuck me, please. Stop talking.” Your finger pushes against his lips before you kiss him roughly, legs spread to either side of him as he holds your waist to guide himself inside you. The both of you gasp at how he struggles to get inside fully before he pumps in and out slowly. 

“Jesus christ you’re so fuckin’ tight baby. Don’t even think I’m all the way in yet and I can feel you squeezing around me.”

You moan out and claw at his back, digging your nails into his skin to keep him steady as he begins to thrust his hips, pushing his cock further into you until it felt like he’d break you in two. Scratching all down his back, you look at him through your eyelashes and grin. 

“I hate you. I hate the way you feel so good inside me, I hate the way you make it so easy to fall back into this shit with you.”

“Keep goin’ I love this shit.”

Frankie moans your name and stands straight, putting his hand on the side of your head and pressing your cheek into the mirror behind you, keeping you absolutely still and right where he wants you. 

“You-ughhh fuckk-you are the worst, Frankie-e!”

The desperate moans of insults mean nothing to him, it makes him laugh and keep thrusting harder and harder. 

“Yeah? If I’m the worst than why are you letting me fuck you right now, eh? Doesn’t that make you just as bad for using me?” 

“N-no I–” 

His fingers rush into your mouth causing you to suck messily on them, whimpering and trying to buck your hips against him but it wasn’t working. Frankie leans down with a hand still pinning you to the mirror and with his freehand, he tears your bathing suit top to the side to free those hardened nipples that had been taunting him all night. His warm mouth encloses over the nub and sucks slowly, flicking his tongue over them before nibbling softly. With every flick of his tongue, you could feel it in your clit. He had you absolutely fucked. 

“Yes yes yes, just like that. Why didn’t you tell me you’d shut up if I just put a titty in your mouth?” He was too busy to notice the playful remark but you knew it would make him laugh had he heard. 

The burning embers in your belly start to ramp up and your pussy continues to clench around Frankie as he slips in and out of you, your skin smacking against one another and his hand squeezing you tighter against the mirror. 

“Frankie-oh fuck-I’m gonna come, don’t stop” you mule out. His hand releases your head and you look directly at his cock disappearing inside you and making your vision blurrier by the second. Your eyes begin to roll back as your muscles tighten and let loose like a rubber band breaking in two. Your moans were echoing off the walls of the bathroom and right out the windows. Frankie didn’t mind but he covers your mouth forcefully as you come, knowing it adds to the sensation for you like it always did. 

“Such a good girl for me, stay right there, baby.” 

You lean back and catch your breath as your legs continue to tremble against Frankie, who was close as you could feel his cock twitch inside you. More echoes of your whimpers and Frankie’s moans coat the walls as he pulls out roughly, shooting his hot load over your stomach, the pearls of cum dripping down your sides as his head snaps back, body jolting with every pump of cum he lets out. 

The post nut clarity starts to set in for you and you realize quickly just what you were doing and who you were doing it with.

“Frankie this can’t happen again, I mean it.” You push against his stomach lightly and hop off the counter, stepping towards the small linen closet to grab a washcloth. Running it under warm water while Frankie collects himself and pulls his trunks back up, you clean your torso off gently until there's no trace of him left. Once he’s done adjusting himself, he grabs your bottoms off the floor and kneels down, helping you step in them and bringing them up your legs until they’re right where they should be. With a little snap of the waistband, he lets go and adjusts your top. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Come by later when you get dropped off at home, okay?” He smacks your ass and kisses the back of your head as he walks away to go back downstairs. 

“Fuck you, Frankie!” You shout before he closes the bedroom door, leaving you with nothing but regret and guilt. 

[baekhvuns]

Ok good news my mum said it fine to take a drop year like finally dude 😭😭 but the bad news is the job i told you about....i couldn't get it...cuz the aunt tht told me out didn't tell us how urgent it was like they needed an answer then and there if it was a yes or no, but of course emy parents took a lot of time to decide and when they called her she was like "oh now the slot is unavailable" 😭

Anyways whenever I'll get a job I will, but ykw I'm worried about now, a function is taking place in my house and well...I'm happy cuz I get to dress up BUT IK MY RELATIVES ARE GOING TO EAT ME UP WITH QUESTIONS AND IF I TELL THEM IM TAKING A YEAR OFF IMMA HV TO DEAL WITH THOSE JUDGY LOOKS 😭😭 I get what mum meant...but, I'll Def won't pay mind to it, but at this point, I'm preparing for that stupid test and honestly...I'm see no opportunities for like graphic designing and stuff as of now...or any other course I'd like to opt for but...I won't give up, I'll look for them and in the meantime I'm focusing on my language learning...yeah, but for some reason I've been really happy...idk but yeah 😭

AND WE'RE GOING TO THE WEDDING ON 14 JANUARY YAYYYY!!! CELEBRATIONS!! And before tht too I'm wearing suit to the function I told you about and it's not a new one it's my grandmothers...I'm HAPPY 😭

Ok so i HAD to talk abt this to you, so I've been tutoring my cousin, she's in 9th grade and yeah we've been having fun, but sometimes she...SHE HAS A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX OK? And well ok it shouldn't bother me but the way she says it ticks me off like the other day we were talking about this whole ethnic and traditional clothes thing and she legit said "well, you know traditional clothing doesn't suit you, you can't manage it" or something like "when you speak Punjabi you look really funny, even my mum said you don't know how to speak it"

...like? HOW CN YOU POSSIBLY TELL ME THAT MY CULTURE DOESN'T SUIT ME??? WTH??

Anyways, NAURRR you're so right PPL my age debuting is like 😭 LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN MY LIFE? WHY ARE WE STILL HERE? JUST TO SUFFER?

Omg yes, that actress is like a softer version of hema Malini THE EYELINER I WAS DED 😭 u r so right, the Indian fan base is so FRUSTRATING bcz they collectively make up a Karen fanbase really I'm not even kidding, like an actress gains weight they all go crazy, or they say oh she's had plastic surgery and stuff...It's so annoying honestly man

As a person who has no experience with lehnga I think I get what you're tryna say, the poofy lehengas the ones you gotta pick up and then move. Omg i just remembered something, the other day me and my mum were just talking about something and somehow we somehow started talking about relationships and my mum, my typical brown mum, was like "you better not have a bf, focus on your studies, when the time is right, you'll find someone, and blah blah" and i looked at her straight and the yes and I said "do you honestly believe i have the confidence TO FIND MYSELF A BF?" And she started laughing like 😭😭 I was like what? And she said you're right 😭😭😭

hello!!

OKAY WE GOT ONE GOOD NEWS??? and 🧍🏻‍♀️

COME ON 😭😭😭 U GUYS SHOULDVE SAID YES ON SPOT DEAL W THE CONSEQUENCES LATER AT LEAST THE $$$ 😭😭 hopefully another one opens for u 🤲🏻

see for graphic designing, u can always start a etsy business where u sell prints (made in canva) and or templates, some of my friends do that as well as i so it does generate and make u practice ur skills! ofc focus on ur test, hope u pass w good grades 💓💓

WE WIN EITHER WAY???? we need pics (will priv the ask if u do send!) and details and everything

“how can u tell me my culture doesn’t suit me??” LMFAOOO PLS THIS EXACTLY FVWJDHWKHDKW like what’s the competition in speaking punjabi like 😭😭😭😭 see my mom raised me like “if they don’t like what u wear and point at it they’re just jealous they don’t do it better” SO U GET MY POINT JCJCJ

NO SRS???? LIKE WERE WAS I IN THAT GENE POOL WHERE U ALL GOT SELECTED AND THEN BECAME FAMOUS LIKE

her eyeliner and looks were god tier, truly what an era of women and beauty 😩 omfg im so tired of the “she’s pregnant” bc she’s wearing LOSE CLOTHES OR HWS HER HAND ON HER STOMACH LIKE????? aunties ????? shaming aish for weight gain and then u click their pfp it’s “shalini nath, jai ma durga💖” ????? FAM????

i wore it once never again, the poof in it like gets stuck in between ur legs so there’s like poof stuck in ur thighs and u have to walk like a penguin truly the most frustrating night of my life and it was at a reception too 😭

LMFAOOOO NO CAUSE HRJWHDKW SAME LIKE THEY RLY THINK SAYING THAT WILL DO SOMETHING TO WHEN IT NEVER DOES like im amazed u have this thought that i have a lot of bf’s but miss girl that iz le not true <3

[sugar-petals]

Baekhyun Doms You: Ending Up Laughing

↳⎡NOTE.⎦thought this’d be an interesting concept & a different side to smut: what if you try things out and it’s both not your thing? w/ a humorous twist and subby bf moments sprinkled in 😄

♡  words. 4k

+ tags ⚠️ pwp hc, bondage, throatfucking, graphic, cum play, unsafe/clumsy practice: do not recreate, degradation, biting, masochist bbh, domme!reader switches unsuccessfully, whips, hair-pulling

imagine that. a wide-eyed baekhyun pacing and tiptoeing in front of your toy shelf, trying to pick a riding crop he fancies. it takes five minutes and several ‘uhh, ohh’ confused puppy noises until he’s able to decide which one he’s taking. 

...literally even if he knows exactly which one does what. you’ve used all of them on him. 

meanwhile, you take three seconds flat to pull out one that fits your mood and proceed to edge the living shit out of him. yes, without literal further ado. teasing his dick and marking his thighs and doing all kinds of delicious things. 

he’s still going back and forth in his head without having even started out. cutely tapping and swaying from one foot to the other. 

it’s like he’s back to school. priceless.

what’s even more hilarious: baekhyun practices random mean facial expressions while trying to decide. he doesn’t seem to be sure what character he’s going for. it feels like he’s rehearsing for a concert or photoshoot, even. absolutely fascinating to watch. 

i mean he’s absolutely photogenic no doubt about that but

you’re sitting on the bed waiting naked like okay is this gonna be william shakespeare deluxe or what is kyoong channelling over there

“um... i think i got it! this one, okay? i’m ready!”

finally he walks over, strutting with his nose in the air and his eyes glaring, muscles tense, a mysterious bad boy charm about him, whip ready to sting, lips tight and punitive...

....and hits his pinky toe on the bed

oh the pain

great master baekhyun flops headfirst into the sheets processing the existential cruelty of bedpost pinewood and needs head pats to recover

lots of head pats

at least twenty of them

so many head pats

more time passes until kyoong is back in character i guess

you probably could have listened to exo’s whole discography in the meantime

and knitted a rug for taemin’s new flat

anyway

baekhyun tries to act very confidently finally getting into it 

adopting a sharp ‘hmph’ kind of tone 

endlessly teasing your back and thighs with the riding crop

so far so good sir pinky toe

but he just goes on and on

you could actually crochet a pair of socks for chen’s daughter now that you think about it

it’s you who has to tell him to get to the point and it’s clear he’s more nervous than he pretends to show

to be fair he’s not the only one

you try to get yourself mentally ready but you find yourself giving him actual orders and even correcting his stance five times cuz he’s so wobbly on the mattress like a pupper indeed

baekhyun mumbles to himself and has a hard time fully implementing the advice on posture but tries to aim well regardless. it seems to work at first

but tragically

he ends up with a miss, hitting his own thigh rather than your ass and moans out loud

now you’re the one confused because you were waiting for the whip to come down

but nope it went elsewhere did it

you wonder how he managed to do all that furious fencing in the obsession mv with an aim like that

looks like he’s so submissive, he straight up whips himself

taking matters into his own hands is he. subs these days.

baekhyun keeps on being wobbly on the bed and looks like he ran a marathon already

may i remind you that this guy does 3-hour long concerts and can practice throughout an entire night

... you both agree to immediately scratch that completely after his next flailing strike sends the riding crop flying into his unsuspecting, non-consenting plushie collection

animal cruelty

moving on

you figure that a change of location might be a good idea

baekhyun sits you down on a chair and bashfully stores away the yeeted whip

he vows to never use a riding crop again already and his teddy bears are thankful for it

now the whole plushie village and whole china knows how you don’t do it

next up is rope

what could possibly go wrong

he practiced wrist bondage on his own ankles for five days straight, you really prepared a lot of things to test out together today 

and he’s seen you tie him up over and over and over

but whatever it is that he manages to install on your arms 

looks like a piece of very experimental modern art that just sold for half a million at sotheby’s

what’s supposed to be a column tie is nothing but a mere... ball

chaotic like baekhyun’s personality. not surprising at all

wait that rhymed

anyhow

even alexander the great couldn’t have cut this gordian knot of a tangly masterpiece

ironically: while baekhyun’s roughly grabbing your chin for an intense kiss... the rope casually falls apart harder than the soviet union in 1991 my loves, you ain’t ready

baekhyun takes ages to notice while he’s teasing and kissing you and ends up sweating bullets when he realizes that the sublime art fell to pieces.

sorry comrade 

the fantasy knots and artistic freedom increases even more when it comes to putting a collar and leash on you

and his guy is supposed to be a dog owner? mongryong, instruct your man

baekhyun is a flustered mess trying to fasten it on you even if he tries very hard to be concentrated

maybe it’s because you’re watching him with literal hawk eyes checking every move (...hoping he learned something from you oh my). you’re not really melting into your role either, huh. the only thing melting is your pussy because baekhyun is acting so embarrassed which is the actual turn-on

if that doesn’t give you away

the leash comes off in two minutes time after baekhyun miraculously ties his own hands together with it

how the fuck did that happen

how do you even manage to do that

eager are we

after whipping his own thigh, self-domination 2.0 i guess

so whipping and bondage are off the programme 

this has been the most chaotic and hazardous attempt at topping in the history of sm entertainment

and they’re literally called s and m

...humiliation is next

when you planned your session you both figured hey he’s tested and tried by exo’s lively debate culture and he might be able to pull that off

and there are no props involved so he’ll have an easy time right

life is an illusion

you find out he can’t pronounce degrading names clearly because he keeps on stuttering them. which in return makes baekhyun crack up. 

carrying on the joke, you correct him every time. 

“i want you to repeat after me: stupid, slutty, bitch.”

it ends up as you doing what you always do 

teaching and training him while baekhyun either shyly or brattily obliges. you don’t even notice how you’re doing it but from the outside, it’s blatantly obvious.

because your brain is still feeling in domme mode, you also find yourself saying the usual things to him without thinking, even when he grabs you and gives orders. “now bend over! i’m gonna fuck your brains out.” — “okay, cutie!” 

which causes baekhyun’s mean face to collapse and he snap out of his command tone immediately, snorting because it’s the last thing he expected

he tries to carry on by punishing you with an actual mouth gag and a harness he can hold onto while fucking you from behind, i mean your pussy is already wet why not

guess what’s gonna ensue

wearing a harness feels kind of strange and new so you wiggle back and forth and all over the place. like what is this, what’s happening. baekhyun’s dick is going into all kinds of directions my friends, the amusement park carousel surely inspired this fucking style right here. 

and wearing a gag — there’s a way different person who needs to have this in his chatty mouth. 

kai and kyungsoo’s dream would come true and yet you’re the one gagged 

something ain’t right

if you’re honest. you’re feeling so weird being on the other end of punishment tonight and not being able to give him any directions. your dom brain is worrying he’s all left to his own devices trying to drive that confused dick home left and right and above and below and diagonal and crosswise. 

the fuck

your poor guts my god

what’s worse: his stamina is gonna sneak up behind him and tap on his shoulder like... bro that’s enough pounding for a whole month please spare these balls from deflating please do not break this device

to which your pussy agrees in unison

how are you gonna love your bub day in day out if you’re that sore

there’s nothing more frustrating than being sore and horny with byun baekhyun at your disposal

or a knocked out boyfriend trying to generate at least a sprinkle of semen after getting completely emptied in one go

probably sleeping for three days straight

alright so the harness and gag come off fast oh dear baekhyun clears those away in a heartbeat

that’s another point off the list 

the more you know

carousel cringe dicking down type of dominance... bizarre, disorderly, totally erratic, not on the agenda, worst rated on bing 

comrade baekhyun keeps on apologizing for making things so messy even if he tries and tries

you’re both so puzzled because you’re used to something so different and need a water chugging pause

baekhyun hasn’t sweated this hard since doing the MAMA choreography

and your pussy has never had to provide this much lubrication at once

where on earth is both of your usual stamina what happened

if a type of sex exhausts you fast and even baekhyun’s balls are suddenly moody you just know you’re wired in the opposite way

safe to say you’re better at giving and baekhyun is better at taking

leave the multidirectional powerfucking to kai or something

and being orderly to xiumin

another rug could have been knitted my friends 

moving on dot org

so, you both figure to take it easier and try to go with something he usually does in passing. you know, turning a typical baekhyun habit into something you can try out casually in bed so he can tease you.

that one should work out right?

proceed: teeth action. you seated, him positioning himself above you. after your approval baekhyun pulls your hair back to expose your neck — so he can deliciously bite into it (or so was the plan). 

reality: his hand gets tangled up completely. 

while he’s busy nibbling and giggling about like a lil’ bunny chomping at a carrot that turns out to be extremely ticklish herself. 

in fact, you start squeaking out a wonky high pitch, startling baekhyun’s fine musical ear to the bone by the obvious atonality. did she just try to outsing my vocal range with a creaking whistle note? 

mariah carey would cancel you on twitter over this one

that’s how you turn a vicious, possessive bite into an eternal meme

every time either of you go for a neck kiss, you end up imitating each other. baekhyun has immortalized himself as a nervous chomping bunny and you as the vocalist anti-christ

lord have mercy

you miss your old sex life already and it’s only been two hours

cause you see... if baekhyun gives you the chance to bite him? he needs a set of long sleeves, scarves, and an extra soft pillow to sit down on for the next two days

like, no mercy bitch

you get right down to business and ravage him and do it properly until he cums in his pants

sure, the way he uses his tongue now is definitely kinda hot mind you

baekhyun is always good with his singing equipment that doesn’t suddenly change aye

and you keep your eyes closed

but with time you notice that he starts drooling and whimpering. baekhyun’s wet mouth is out there betraying him, huh.

same with your body. your reactions give you away, body language just won’t lie. you have a damn hard time staying still. you wanna do something, you wanna touch and guide baekhyun all over.

and vice versa baekhyun keeps on glitching and doing the same thing he really became a living tumblr gif now

this whole session is just so confusing and laced with all these moments of awkwardness it’s really telling you something about yourself and mister pinky toe’s ideal dynamic

baekhyun can’t even get himself to even lightly slap you properly. and when he does, his delicate hands are just so cute. it’s as if legolas came along, scented in jasmine, elegant and fabulous like it’s a l’oreal commercial

he immediately looks concerned after he manages to do it cleanly and you admit it wasn’t really that exciting a feeling yourself. it felt more like, “um ouch, and?”

needless to say, you’re weirded out if anything, baekhyun smacking and dragging you around as a cold-as-ice dom is just a strange thing to do for both of you 

like even exo’s wolf era fashion was more coherent than this carrot fuckery

and those were some of the most intense turtlenecks ever 

is there really nothing dominant baekhyun can pull off. come on he’s the genius idol 

actually 

there’s something that does work out for once

because no rule without exceptions indeed

because hey, you can learn something anyway, it’s the whole point of you going through a list of things to try as a couple

baekhyun is good at doing the more hardcore, faster kind of fingering. who would have thought, totally surprising, revolutionary i know. but that’s where you’re both agreeing hey, there’s some untapped potential you can use for the steamier evenings you have going. 

cuz wow, he can get you off with flying colors. 

...only to succumb to a malfunctioning bobohu wrist 

even baekhyun’s boner for your legs in latex isn’t that stiff

it’s another pause until his hand loosens up again

this poor man just can’t win

and if you’re asking oi hard domming isn’t the only thing you can do

baekhyun trying to summon his inner soft dom: surprise, same old tale. here we go again.

your boyfriend thinks he generally looks way too puppy-like to be your big ole buff daddy taking care of you. oversized sweater, fluffy hair and all. 

you say to him well, it’s not that doms can’t wear casual things. but it’s true that you have to feel your role and find yourself believable. regardless of your looks, in fact. 

unless your partner really enjoys you dressing up as some kind of dominant hyper-archetype? looking the part is relatively unimportant if you’re absolutely made for dominance you say

pretty eye-opening moment for him

in your roleplay, he caresses and kisses you to the point, he can approach and lead you to do this or that position, don’t be mistaken. and he’s good at making presents, he’s indulging you perfectly well and actually likes doing it. but... it still ends up being more vanilla than not a few hours in. the d/s is out the door almost automatically the longer you do it.

at the end, it leaves you with a feeling of “but err, what now? give the maid outfit to charity?” 

baekhyun rubs his neck in search for something else to do, both of you staring at each other with expressions blanker than kyungsoo when a prancing chanyeol is acting up.

how did the quote go again. if you scramble for inspiration, let it be?

it’s exactly that situation when baekhyun soft doms. he can hold you tight and do his thing for a while, but the chemistry of your roles is dwindling into a question mark.

in fact. there’s an uneasy silence as if great mother suho was sitting right beside you critiquing baekhyun’s sugar daddy skills

baekhyun is rich like a motherfucker and can’t even call you ‘my innocent lil’ baby girl’ without looking like he just learned a first grade tonguetwister by heart

you did play your parts with less cracking up, but you clearly tell him that there’s still something strangely clueless and “ah, awkward” (baekhyun’s verdict in response, verbatim) in between the two of you. 

when you take care of baekhyun and tuck him in, you hardly run out of ideas. it just goes on and on. even when you played through an entire scene, you both come up with things to extend the scenario because it’s so much fun. you make him a hot chocolate, massage his feet, brush his hair, do some extra light bondage with a silk ribbon around his ankles to make him feel pretty, feed him pizza, have him cuddle up in your lap, pinch his ass, and do some rimming if he’s feeling a bit hornier. 

the spoiling is nice at the start, but there’s something missing. you want to lead his hands and really treat him, and do it all the time, and baekhyun really finds himself craving it as well. 

baekhyun soft domming quickly turns into — well just normal loving makeouts and gestures. you kiss and touch, there’s nothing hierarchical about it, nothing mega juicy or exciting.

you just don’t get into the groove, you know. there’s nothing particular happening if you try to get into those roles. it doesn’t titillate both of you for an extended period of time, it doesn’t make you curious for more. it’s like... shrug. what about it. 

when you usually dominate, you know something hits home when you think about it all day. baekhyun screaming and crying with his legs twitching pops up whenever you close your freaking eyes goddamn.

you make a note to observe whether you’re going about your daily business thinking about how you could be his innocent good girl. following his every whim, making big eyes at him or something. 

result: more shaky, ruined baekhyun moaning his soul out in the highest of notes and leaking cum everywhere from getting choked and his face sat on. 

daddy baekhyun has simply not crossed your mind. in fact, poor guy no chance to fit in there from the get-go. his particularly whorish, extra subby counterpart is all over your brain cells with his tongue out. and you’re very tempted to grab it between your thumb and index and spit in his mouth for some very good measure. maybe cum in it as well.

um. so there’s that. the more you know.

baekhyun figures as much himself and you try the other side of the equation. oh, oh. here comes hard dom baekhyun.

who gets you on your knees and starts a wild deepthroat session while calling you names. that’s all well and good... nope. your gag reflex decides to yeet some weird coughing facial expressions and reflex cock bites at poor baekhyun who doesn’t know what’s happening. to finish him off completely, you sneeze while having a hiccup and his dick slips out. 

... you both safeword at the same time.

that cleanup has scarred you both for life. what the everloving fuck. no more impulse throatfucking in this pure christian household, then. 

you’ll stick to lazy, twirling, indulgent blowjobs and the usual ruined orgasms for him — the actually planned ones, jesus christ.

like seriously. you invented a whole new language with those confused gargling noises and that wasn’t french, it was advanced level klingon. baekhyun repeats asking if you’re okay and you’re still stuck realizing oh hell, that was not pretty. off the bucket list, you like sucking him off but this style just doesn’t come natural to you. 

the popsicles you could train yourself with are usually gone from the freezer within a day after getting the groceries. baekhyun is wholeheartedly addicted to them. 

he loves cheating on his diet since you told him his fully cheeks are your emotional support squish and kiss pillows, so.

baekhyun rightfully insists he’s better at eating pussy the wild way in the first place — and that you have no business choking on his dick like you’re on hot ones eating the world’s spiciest whatever is trending now.

or actually... baekhyun’s dick can’t be compared to a chili pepper if we’re doing a choking analogy alright. that just doesn’t fit his promotion concept. cinnamon stick is more like it.

ever saw one of these terrible cinnamon spoon videos where reckless people try to defeat god by— anyway, you’ve seen them. that’s how you looked like trying to get your mouth fucked. i think god would actually be defeated by how far away from divine elegance that was and you’re so sorry for subjecting baekhyun to this artless display. 

cinnamon is still best used in small doses. say, for garnishing a creamy cake or pie y’know. 

anyway. you dished up the most butchered attempt at sexy gagging in history and so, baekhyun will preach for days how he’s the one chosen by fate to push down seven big fat inches of your strap still half asleep without even blinking. 

... and that his world-class operatic breath control would probably enable him to bury his face in your pussy on mount everest. baekhyun knows that every domme would sell her soul to get a sub as skilled with breathing as him.

...and that he has the official copyright for giving quality slobbery oral with quality smudged tears. as he will demonstrate to you almost daily from then on. king of messy head and going stupid with the tongue acrobatics. ugh, the noises are amazing, too. give him a grammy for his oral sounds.

gotta leave the heavy-duty work to the experts innit.

at dinner, he also poutingly brags how he can make his spit run out of his nose while he’s sucking himself through your entire dildo collection. and blow spit bubbles. and snort his own semen off his thighs and let it drop off his tongue if he’s in a particularly slutty mood. or a creampie. jeez, baekhyun, the wolf of wallstreet is strong in him. you literally have to stop him from showing off because “hey boy, i already know! i’ve seen it last week bro it was good!”

needless to say he’s talking in essays all day because he wants things go back to normal and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

for real, your candy man with the cinnamon stick has been suffering from the love bites and has to retire his cock for two days from the bruising. 

mind you. the pain he can deal with. that ain’t the problem. by all means, man. he’s a fucking masochist. 

it’s actually more like... submissive you has deactivated his boner and he can’t help it. it’s not you that makes him limp, it’s more like, the klingon choking and the ton of mishaps that just don’t sit right. 

baekhyun feels bad about not doing well enough to make both of you have a good time as well which is lowkey heartbreaking. you have to cheer him up with ‘now repeat after me: stupid, slutty bitch’ jokes to make him chuckle at least a bit.

cuz you gotta understand, baekhyun is very ambitious to develop his talents in all areas of life. if there’s a skill he gets stuck with and he can’t work with his potential, that’s so unusual to him.

and you say man, imagine if you were some kind of uber-talented dom. that’d still not make me sneeze any less.

if you dominate him, it feels easy to do. nothing can really ruin the mood, not even when the lube runs out (baekhyun drools enough to make anything slippery okay). 

except maybe when xiumin rings on landline because he left his favorite fluffy sweater in the subway and needs to vent about it. my god that’s such a tear-jerking story i’m close to sobbing. this shit could kill literally any boner.

or when your hand cramps up after shoving your fingers down his throat and in his ass for like half an hour which should be ranked first as the saddest anime betrayal of all time but it’s justifiable and you had a lot of fun beforehand.

in other words. only the things outside of your control tend to mess with your femdom business. in and of itself, nothing can kill your vibe except a dying battery obviously. 

whereas you trying submission oddly spoils the atmosphere from the inside out and provides a free cringe compilation. like without even doing much, it happens automatically. 

baekhyun relishes in dramatically recounting how you both looked like true clowns attempting a rendition of overexpensive, extra tangly contemporary art bondage. hell, not even employed clowns, completely retired ones, struggling to regain their tightrope tricks from summer 1912 when harry houdini was still hot shit in town. 

you say oh god, that wasn’t even worth a retired clown’s skillset, clowns work damn hard man. you’d be hardpressed to find any circus artist capable of cracking a whip onto themselves baekhyun-style and moaning out loud because it was this good. seriously. that was one for the books.

if baekhyun tried to set foot in some willy-nilly maledom porn, he’d be capable of firing himself on the first day. 

at the end, you just have a good laugh, man. you agree — hey, this ain’t it, but it’s good to know at least. tried and tested, been there, done that. self-whipping and carrot-nibbling and blowjob hiccups.

if you’re both so hopeless and living up to the challenge managed to upset poor mariah carey instead of giving you a hot and steamy time, you very well know where you belong. that’s a good feeling. assuring and a confidence boost for your skills. it makes up for all the clumsiness actually. 

exactly because the try-out part was an entire disaster, domming baekhyun will be even more fun, you can’t see it becoming anywhere near boring. it never really was, but now you know where your strong suits are even more so. and — what to avoid, anyway. 

no more unsafe practice and teddy whipping under this roof my friend

and something to incorporate more often which is baekhyun unleashing his very creative, pianoesque fingering skills on you.

you have lots of anecdotes to rile each other up as well. or, at least, tease another a bit. your high note was too legendary not to be remembered.

baekhyun will use all of these things against you in a positive way if you get what i mean. he’ll say how you being so strangely vocal made him realize just how commanding and compelling your sexy time voice is when you tell him how to kneel, how to kiss, how to revere.

and you teasing him how clumsy a dom he is makes baekhyun more self-assured in his subbing abilities. he knows for a fact you’ve not once roasted him about how well he can use his pretty mouth. cuz it’s the real deal. sloppy, skilled, and eager to please. he’s damn right about that.

hitting his toes has ruined baekhyun’s whole career as a dom and he was mad at first but he did realize that beside the clumsiness, subbing just suits him well as a principle

your experience gives you even more anticipation for all the sex you will have in the future. 

you already knew what you both liked. you know it even more now, it’s underlined, it’s a big relieved yes. no more cringey “daddy, daddy, choke me please!” worship. time to make his day and sit on baekhyun’s perfect face to fuck the shit out of it. 

or you know, actually land a whip on his juicy boyfriend thighs and listen to those heavenly loud reactions in a dead-on pitch (he usually moans in C minor).

long story short and cinnamon sticks aside. it’s even more fun now. you just love your cute subby boy just as he is. he doesn’t have to try to be anything else or step up his game. he’s so ideal just doing what he does like a real angel.

more subby stuff: m.list + ao3

↳⎡FINAL NOTE⎦i love writing crack lmao i hope you were rolling on the floor like i did 😂 write me your favorite part in the comments so we can laugh again and buy me a ko-fi if you wanna 👍

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[acephysicskarkat]

I don't want to start fights, but don't you think you may be going way too far with the salt? It's one thing to not be happy with the way a show ended(and so many people think S5 was great, so you are in a huge minority already), but to insult the showrunner because *one* ship didn't become canon is going too far, mate. Catradora was there from the start, and Catra had an amazing redemption arc. Then again, I am just one person, so idk. Anyway, thanks. -Callum.

I actually respect Noelle Stevenson a lot: bringing a show like She-Ra all the way to its conclusion, producing seasons 1-4 (which are in fact really good), working hard for BLM, all while being out and proud in an industry that still has plenty of bigots around - these are legitimate achievements that are worthy of respect.

However.

1) I don’t give a shit how many people liked S5. I am allowed my own opinions on my own blog. If you don’t like my opinions the block button is right there. Telling me that a lot of fans like the season is an irrelevant data point because my opinions are not subject to majority vote.

2) Catradora was part of the disappointment that was S5, but it was far from the only thing. The strong ensemble cast, one of the best things about the show, is underused; every redemption arc is utterly weightless (Catra’s isn’t the worst but it’s still badly undercooked, of which more later), Glimmer and Bow are barely relevant despite the BFS being the show’s actual beating heart (I know Noelle says Catradora was supposed to be the heart but it’s never felt like that to me), everything related to Catra and Adora’s relationship feels forced, out-of-character and clumsy, the resolution is tied to a bullshit save-the-world button with unclear results, long-running elements like Adora’s family or the Catra/Shadow Weaver parallels are ditched in favour of coming up with dumb answers about what Greyskull means, and the writing is just kind of bad.

It has good elements - I loved the Star Siblings, I liked having Entrapta actually deal with the consequences of her actions, Melog and Wrong Hordak were good additions, and “Peril of Peekablue” was excellent, on par with something like “Mer-Mysteries” - but the season was considerably worse than all the others.

Like, I actually went into S5 going “The most likely outcome here is Catradora canon, but hey, maybe this will be the season that sells me on it” and it wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.

3) Catradora was there from the start, but it was also badly done from the start and S5 did not meaningfully improve it. It’s actually my go-to on how not to tell an enemies-to-lovers arc because the “enemies” part is really prolonged, heavily emphasised, toxic, unpleasant, emotionally wearing and vicious and the “to” is super rushed and clumsy (of which more in the next bullet point). From "The Promise” to the end of season 4, there are no moments where Catra and Adora’s emotional connection does anything to soften the hostility; if anything, it makes Catra worse because it adds a really cruel and personal note to the whole thing.

Then S5 executes on it badly because it relies heavily on papering over inconvenient events and character development instead of trying to build organically on what has happened before. Catra telling Adora, “You never gave up on anything, not even me,” is my go-to example of this, because she did. It was the S3 climax and a huge moment for Adora’s personal arc! And then the show even reinforced it by having Adora throw a robot directly at Catra’s face with pretty unambiguous intent to kill, or at least severely wound, in "Flutterina”. But it’s not dealt with; instead, we get one questionable line of dialogue about pretending it never happened. Having Adora admit she was wrong to give up on Catra and swearing never to do so again could have been a really powerful moment, but instead of trying to do anything with the thing we saw happen onscreen, it’s just shoved under the rug. It’s bad writing and a huge waste of interesting potential. (It’s also bad planting and payoff; we get the setup in S3, the reminder in S4, and then it’s outright retconned away.)

4) Catra’s redemption arc is actually kind of bad. It’s not as bad as Hordak’s, which I only barely consider a redemption arc because it’s super truncated and he never admits to even doing anything wrong, but it’s bad.

First, it’s super fucking rushed. Literal years of seething, constantly building resentment disappear offscreen; there’s never a point where she meaningfully grapples with it or comes to realise that being “Shadow Weaver’s favourite” was also a hellish experience just in different ways. She does her one big redemptive act, gets forgiven instantly by everyone (including Adora, for whom it feels badly out of character given the aforementioned giving-up, her suspicion in “Princess Prom” before Catra had even tried to ruin her life once let alone six times, etc.), and her resentment just...vanishes in one hand-hold. It was her defining personality trait and the underlying cause for most of her time as an antagonist; it really should have been, you know, dealt with, instead of just forgotten. It does try to deal with her anger issues and problems expressing vulnerability, but that’s like saying that now that Azula has agreed not to torture small animals everything is fine; it’s far from the deepest issue here and pretending otherwise does the character and the show a disservice.

Worse than that, nothing she actually did feels like it means anything because the show just shoves it all under the rug. I’m not asking that she spend an episode personally making it up to each person she’s harmed a la Zuko, not least because after her participation in the sack of Salineas that’s more episodes than a long-running daytime soap opera, but at the very least using her actions in seasons 1-4 for something could have led to some really interesting scenes and good character moments and all that potential is instead just wasted. Angella’s death is just plum forgotten despite how important it was last season; the parallels between Catra’s actions in “White Out” and Horde Prime’s chips are never explored; the Shadow Weaver parallels the show’s been building for four seasons and explicitly stated in the graphic novel tie-in are just ditched and nothing ever comes of them; everyone who might not forgive Catra in under five minutes is mind-controlled until the season is almost over, contributing to the sidelining of the strong ensemble cast. It just feels like they didn’t know how to square Catra’s actions in seasons 2-4 with how they wanted her arc to end, so they just opted to pretend those actions never happened, and as a direct result the whole mess lacks texture and weight and doesn’t feel like a satisfying development for her story. It never feels like she’s dealing with the consequences for her actions, because her actions don’t have consequences.

Noelle once said that the driving question for Catra was “what happens when you’re the toxic friend”, and now we have the answer: nothing. Catra faces no long-term consequences for being the toxic friend. Perfuma’s one minute of being angry is the longest gap between Catra seeming sad and Catra getting forgiven. Nothing she did matters in the long run except in the sense that she’s kind of sad about them in aggregate. None of her bridges are burned so badly they can’t be fixed. And that’s a bad answer, because in real life when you’re the toxic friend people do refuse to forgive you instantly when you say sorry. Relationships do get trashed so badly they never recover. The pain you cause matters, and the traits that made you the toxic friend take work to overcome...unless you’re Catra, in which case the pain you cause suddenly stops mattering and your issues can be dealt with in under an hour offscreen.

Or at least, that’s my attitude. Like, if you liked the season, I’m not saying you’re an idiot or have bad taste. But I hated it. It could maybe have been good if it had been two seasons, actually allow Catra’s arc to breathe instead of speedrunning the whole thing, done more with the ensemble cast etc., but what we got was a rushed mess and telling me that “lots of people liked the rushed mess actually” is not relevant to that assessment.

(Just as a side note, if you really don’t want to start a fight, I’m not sure sending passive-aggressive asks to the tune of “have you considered that your opinions are Wrong actually and mine are Right” is the best way to go about it.)

[ranting-venting-other-bs]

i need advice like asap plsssssss

my bf and i are going though such a hard time and it hurts so bad, i’m gonna rant a little below the line

(idk how to make a line on mobile so *line*)

also tw for sh and very slight assault mention (and abuse mention) not graphic tho!

he’s been fighting with me a lot. to be fair i get defensive rly easy too but it’s all trauma responses from when i was younger.

i caught him lying multiple times after he swore he would never do it again, and then he got super upset with me and like i had to comfort him. i cried myself to a point of dehydration today.

i love him so fucking much i know he doesn’t mean to hurt me. i cant be without him i don’t wanna break up i think we can work past this.

the other night i met one of the artists i idolized and took a pic and he put his arm around me in the pic, my bf got furious and started saying stuff like “i know you cheated on me i hope it was worth it”. i would never cheat. i’m the most loyal person i know.

he also called me a stupid f*cking bitch, but i made him angry and he was just super emotional and he apologized multiple times.

i swear he’s not abusive. i just can’t talk to any of my irls abt this because they’ll tell me to leave him.

he lied and hung out with a dude who basically assaulted one of my friends and begged me for nudes when i was drunk when i was 14 because he “didn’t wanna cause drama at work” since they work together.

he threatened suicide when i explained how i’m upset. i was so scared, i told him i wanted to call the police but he got mad and begged me not to.

he always accuses me of cheating when i woukd never do that. i’ve been nothing but loyal. he’s the one i caught flirting with other girls.

he gets mad when i post tiktoks that i look good in. well not mad. he just gets super upset and starts crying bc “other people are looking at u”

he said i don’t love him and that i only want the attention from ppl on tiktok.

he said “even if we broke up we’d still be best friends” i told him tahts not how it works and i cant be friends with someone i still have feelings for. then he got pissed and was mad that i was friends with my ex’s who i ended up blocking right away. (all of the ex’s were from a lot time ago)

he also got pissed at me bc i got groomed. he said “i don’t understand girls why would u want to do that”

one night i was super out of it at a drag show and think i could have been drugged or something. he got upset bc there was a chance someone but him touched me, not because of the fact that i was in danger.

he cut himself when i made him angry and said “do u wanna see what u did to me? huh? nvm you don’t deserve it.”

he keeps getting upset that i have trauma responses when i get scared (i was abused in middle school, not by family my family is amazing) and i have ptsd from something else that i don’t wanna talk about

i was trying to write my essay that was due in 30 mins and he kept threatening suicide and it was so hard to finish, i’m sure my grade dropped a lot.

he has threatened to break up with me 3 times this week, knowing it gives me panic attacks.

whenever i’m upset he’s all like “we shoukd break up all i do is hurt u” but I DONT WANNA BREAK UP!!! it gives me a panic attack when he says that.

i need him.

he lied and said he blocked ppl when he never did

i rly need him i don’t wanna break up, what should i do? pls help

[onf-headcanons]

ONF UNIVERSITY AU

A/n : ok this is just the first (?) elaboration of the au. This is also meshed with senpai au. I actually already had a few moodboards (Yuto and Minseok ones) and a senpai AU of Seungjoon that opened up the idea, its just i did not have the time and luxury to expand the au. Another reason was that timing i am still learning about ONF so I don't want to go too OOC on things I am not familiar with.

To keep it short, the boys actually formed a dance club and they named themselves ONF

I do said dance club but if you wanna utilise it like F4 from meteor garden, it totally flexible

Also totally doable if you wanna use the university au as the main worldbuilding for other AU, examples, Sibling AU, or any BF headcanons I have mentioned like the MTL for PDA. MTL to confess and MTL to leave hickies, so do check out masterlist (that is constantly updating )

Also, even though it might retcon some setting I have already done, but it is totally doable for University AU to be the prequel for Office AU.

OH HEADS UP, FOR THIS AU I AM ALTERING THEIR AGE. Their real life age difference are about 4-5 years which is unrealistic to fit for the au, so shrink age difference to 1-2 years. 

One of the project they did as a dance club, which they uploaded

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Let see the members headcanons below

Hyojin : Probably musical student but if we were to jump out from stereotype,I do feel him studying marketing (analysts side)

OK if this boy does not finish his assignments in the cafeteria, then he is not Kim Hyojin lol. Constantly munching something while he trying to finish assignment or solve a problematic question

Even if Seungjoon drags him to library to do assignments . HYOJIN DEFO GONNA MAKE EXCUSE TO BUY BEVERAGE FOR THE 2 OF THEM AND SNEAKS OUT FOR A SHORT WHILE.

The type that try his best on getting good results on every class. But he never brags about it.

Should we give him a senpai au plot, I would write him as the senpai you have a crush on since high school and you did not know he attend the same university as you.

Changyoon : Design student for sure😉 Interior design, graphic design or even fashion design. Oh! Film Director also not bad? (I mean he has loads of ideas and thoughts also let's not forget about Incomplete MV)

Ppl which are not in their circles would be like, "how did you even get along with the others?" Because his majors are very different compared to the other 6

Hmm I do feel it is more like Changyoon did not make the first move to join the group. Probably the Capricorns/ENFPS (Seungjoon or Jaeyoung)

So maybe he kinda drop by to a short marketing class so that he can gain insight on how advertisements film can grasp audience heart. There he either met Hyojin or Seungjoon (maybe both) ,then only the bond gets deeper

After knowing each other he finally comfortable to be himself and does not feel awkward anymore...

Also including this hc here because I only thought of it when writing. HYOJIN,CHANGYOON, SEUNGJOON AND MINKYUN teaming up to sing something? Like them 4 have a YouTube channel that upload their covers, without showing their faces, using illustrations drawn by Changyoon

Seungjoon : Could go for science genre or maybe business administration? Also anything related with mathematics(that need flexible solving) might suit him too

Might occasionally appear in the library. Not really searching for books to read,more on giving himself the environment to complete assignments. But visits bookstore too

Maybe, the most social-able being in the group. Constantly waving or say hi to acquaintance/classmates passing by. Even though that, there are never rumours or scandals of Seungjoon being playboy. (But totally the first one in the group to get a GF, hint established in his senpai au)

Like people only notices the group because of him because of his social skills. Its kind of like the fairy who brings/enlarge the fandom lol

You can read his Senpai au here

Might doing part time job at a cafe nearby university because of distance+ time convenience purposes. The other members of the group might occasionally hang out at the place, waiting for him to finish his shift or Yuto to finish his lessons and then they go eat dinner

Jaeyoung : High chance of choosing communication related genre or/also social science/sociology related genre. I won't be surprised if he will choose psychology or behavioural science

Easily to find him in library searching for books to read/expand his pov. Sitting beside windows

One of the hyungs that will explains Korean to Yuto. Especially idioms.

First impression would be the quiet good looking one that definitely gonna stay back to ask lecturer more questions

The second on in the group to get a GF. But very very low key.

Linking to the tutor AU I posted recently, he might be teaching online to gain extra income because he does not want to do part time job to exhaust himself as he want to reserve energy to dance. Which also the main factor he suggested Yuto to do online teaching later

Minkyun : Musical student but focusing on composing. To jump from stereotypes, he could be going to broadcast communications, to become professional radio DJ

He might also join another club which is established by uni it self to make radio broadcast that plays at the cafeteria.

Cues in other members all recognise his voice immediately. Lol if he qccidentally messed up on some wordings, the next time they meet they are gonna tease him for sure haha

OK this applies to all of them but I only remembered to include this during writing for Minkyun, the boys are totally banned from playing any games at the cafeteria lol (not a strict ban but they are loud lol.) So they changed plans to play game and hangout at home, with Yuto coming over to sleep over.

Yuto : the exchange student / the foreign student who is majoring in Korean language. High chance going for Korean language teaching later.

Once they knew Yuto's Korean Proficiency level are above average, the boys are supportive and proud of him af. Lol also his devilish hyungs teasing him that he should get a girlfriend, it is a way to master language lol

Cues in his hyungs helping him out by giving him small tests of Korean grammar

Could be the only one who lives in university dorms. But he gets to have sleepovers with his hyungs at their house during weekends (rent or family residence,up to you)

Even encourages him to try out online teaching beginners first to gain experiences

Probably feeling sadden the most when found out Minseok had to quit university. Also could not help feeling lonely when his hyungs graduated. (Some did extend studies but some did not. My hunch, Minkyun and Chang Yoon could be the first two to graduated first. Jaeyoung and Yuto being the last two to graduate)

Minseok : a junior who studies history and choosing Japanese + Chinese as sub majors. Who knows, he might choose translating/interpreting as major later (I mean have you seen some interviews where he used Japanese and Chinese, damn his pronunciation is good, trust me cos i speak both language)

Did not get to stay long, maybe just 1 year and a half then he had to quit university because his whole family are moving out from the country (no worries they contact each other online frequently). His hyungs defo doing a farewell party for him.

Even though short time, but he gained the title of university sweetheart by the first day he starts uni. 

Same as Seungjoon and Jaeyoung, the type to find him in library alot.

Of course gonna ask Yuto a lot of Japanese grammar questions

BTW if link to Sibling AU, should we link it to the double Kim household, Minseok did not drop out. He could have participated an exchange program and had to leave for overseas to complete a course at a better institute

A/N : Ok I am gonna stop here before it gets even messier (slaps forehead I changdolled while writing this)

[1989dreamer]

When the Stars Align

And here is part two of why @evanesdust​ had to be so, so patient for their prompt to be fulfilled.

AO3 Link

Written for this prompt (same as Seventy-Five Percent).

Yes, I wrote three stories for the same prompt. It was a lot of fun.

Summary: Derek has a coworker that is a little too enthusiastic about getting him alone, so he asks Stiles for help. Stiles gladly volunteers but neither of them quite know what they’re getting into. A pissed off Kate Argent isn’t to be trifled with and neither are the growing feelings Stiles has for Derek.

Tags: Stalking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Murderer Peter Hale, Deputy Cora Hale. Human AU, Getting Together, Fake Dating, Kate Argent is Her Own Warning, Fear, Non-descriptive Panic Attacks

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It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon, and Stiles was out at the park with his sketchbook and pencils, just trying to draw random sketches of his characters, trying to find the natural flow of their movement for the big battle they had coming up. Suddenly, almost sweetly, he heard the words: “I’m going out with Stiles.”

His head shot up. He was going out with someone? News to him. Who could be making such a bold claim?

He studied the people nearest him: Derek Hale, older brother of Stiles’ closest friend, Cora Hale; some blonde woman standing way too close to Derek; and a sallow-faced, shady-looking fellow who reminded Stiles of his sadistic chemistry teacher.

Derek pointed at Stiles. “My boyfriend,” he said, somewhat stiffly, upset and uncomfortable, and excuse him but Stiles was a national treasure. Dating him would be nothing but a delight.

The blonde woman seemed unperturbed by the fact that Derek was one) clearly trying to escape and two) his “boyfriend” was right there.

Stiles stood up, shoved his sketchpad under his arm, and sauntered over to them. He cocked a hip and tucked a hand around Derek’s waist, noting the way Derek sagged against him in relief. “What’s up, babe? These idiots bothering you?”

The woman’s face sank into a sour expression, and Stiles almost laughed at how angry she appeared. Almost as if she’d known Derek was lying to her, but Stiles had decided to play along. Whatever. It wasn’t like Stiles had anything better to do than to rescue the older brothers of his friends.

The woman stuck out her hand. “Kate Argent,” she said, as sour as her face.

Stiles ignored her hand. “Stiles, Derek’s other half.”

“Certainly not the better half,” Kate laughed, something malicious lurking beneath her false smile.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Derek said, and wasn’t he being so sweet? Stiles pinched him to make him close his mouth.

“Now, my question still stands: are you bothering my boyfriend?”

Kate didn’t answer. Instead, she stomped off, her companion trailing after her. Derek didn’t immediately pull away, which surprised Stiles.

“What’s up with that?” Stiles asked when Derek finally disentangled himself.

Derek rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “She works with me. Technically she’s my boss.”

“And how does dating me come into it?”

Derek rolled his shoulders again and Stiles realized that he was shrugging.

“If you date me for, say, a month and then break up with me, spectacularly, publicly, Kate would think I’m undateable and she’ll leave me alone.”

“And why me?”

Derek shrugged again. “I panicked?” he offered.

“Oh, I see. I’m the convenient choice.”

“No,” Derek said. “I just.” He blew out a breath. “You were right there. I knew you. I’m sorry. You don’t have to do it. I can find someone else.”

For some reason, that was more of an insult to Stiles than the fact that Derek had chosen him in the first place. “Now, wait a minute.” He grabbed Derek’s hand. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”

Derek’s eyebrows scrunched together. “You’ll do it?”

Stiles nodded. “Who knows why? Probably because you’re the big brother of my best friend, and Cora will never let me hear the end of it if I let you get pressured into dating your boss.”

Derek made a face. “Cora can’t know about the fake dating thing,” he said.

“Why not?” Stiles shook his head. “She’s my best friend. Of course, she’s going to know.”

Derek sighed. “Fine. It’s not like she wouldn’t have found out anyway.”

“So, what are your rules for dating?” Derek shrugged. “No, seriously. What’s on the table? What’s off? Pet names? Touching? What kind of dates do you want to go on? I mean, you want Kate to actually think we’re dating, right?”

“I guess?” Derek frowned. “I-I think so? Would it be easier to meet up at, like, one of our apartments and plan this out?”

“Sure. That works. Want to go now?”

Derek nodded. Honestly, he looked a little lost. Something wasn’t adding up. “Why can’t you just tell Kate’s boss or HR that she’s bothering you? Why go through this subterfuge?”

Derek sighed, and Stiles felt the vibration of it in his chest. Derek was bone tired, exhausted, and frustrated. He was thoroughly vexed.

“Kate is the HR department,” he said. “Her dad owns the company. All my coworkers just tell me to buckle down and date her.”

“But,” Stiles said.

“I’m not comfortable with dating. There’s been rumors of some of the men she’s dated before. She likes challenges, likes to break her partners. She’s taken my disinterest as a challenge.”

“There’s got to be some way to report her. Will any of her former partners file a police report against her?”

“I don’t know. I think she, like, collects evidence that her partners are the ones who hurt her.”

Stiles shuddered. “Dude, I am so sorry that she’s targeting you.”

“So am I.” Derek sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sorry I got you involved. Kate will probably try and scare you off. I don’t know what tactics she’ll use, so I can’t warn you more.”

“Well, how about we worry about the logistics of the dating before we worry about what Kate will or won’t do?”

Derek nodded, sitting down on the grass next to Stiles. He held out his hands, like he was showing that he was unarmed. Stiles smiled at him. While he hadn’t known Derek well when he and Cora were in school together, he’d been the cool older brother. The hot, cool older brother that Stiles sometimes daydreamed about kissing until he lost his edge.

Talking to Derek now, finding out that he liked some of the same things Stiles did and dates would be easy enough, that he liked slow dancing and kissing in the rain, that it took more than a few meetings before he made up his mind as to whether or not he actually liked someone romantically was all cute and good. It also made it a little more embarrassing that Stiles wanted to kiss him even more now.

Derek nodded at the sketchbook. “Anything good?”

“Just character studies,” Stiles replied. He was not in the habit of sharing his work before it was ready to publish. He was also used to people not respecting his boundaries when he said he didn’t want to share, that he was already expecting Derek to demand his sketchbook anyway.

“Cool,” Derek said. He gripped a handful of grass, tugging at it too gently to break any blades. “I write stories that are sort of like that.”

“Oh really?” Stiles smiled to let Derek know that he thought that was cool too, but it was wasted because Derek never looked up. “Hey,” Stiles said, “you know that if you put words on paper, then you’re a writer regardless of what anyone else tells you, right?”

“Right.” Stiles heard the disbelief in Derek’s voice. He could also relate to being told that his “hobby” wasn’t a form of real art. Well, he had time. He would start working with Derek to shed the negativity and embrace his passion.

“So, um,” Derek said, “did you want to do the first date tonight?”

“Yes,” Stiles said before Derek could take it back. “Absolutely. Pick you up at 7:00?”

“Sounds good.” Derek pulled out a small book, tore out a piece of paper, wrote down his address and phone number. “Just text me something so I have your number too.” He handed the paper to Stiles.

“Absolutely.” Stiles waved when Derek stood up. As soon as Derek was out of sight, Stiles sent two texts.

One to Derek: This is stiles now u have my #

And one to Cora: Dating ur bro don’t make it weird

Derek did not respond immediately, but Cora did.

Y

Y what

Y my brother. Leave derek alone u ass

He’s my bf now. Srsly tho, i’m helping him. Don’t give him grief

Fine. But if he cries over u, i break ur knees

Fair

Stiles set his phone aside and picked up his sketchbook again, tracing the shadow under his main character’s face. It wasn’t perfect, but Stiles wasn’t trying. This had been an exercise to get him out of his apartment. Finding out that Derek was in need of a rescue just like Malcolm was not at all how he planned his Thursday to go, but it was still nice enough. Besides, he’d secured a date with the hottest senior at Beacon Hills High—never mind that Derek hadn’t been a senior in high school for almost seven years and Stiles had graduated college and moved back to help out his dad, who was looking to retire from the position of Sheriff of Beacon County within the next two or three years. He’d started taking some graphic design classes at the community college when he realized he could only get so far with his self-taught art.

He still liked hand-drawing things, and he was almost ready to move onto sketching Mallorca when his pad was forcibly lowered.

He gripped his pencil, aware of how much damage he could inflict even though it was dull. Kate’s face popped into view and Stiles restrained his hand.

“What do you want?” he said, blandly. Uninterested. Kate seemed the type of person to hate that.

Stiles was right. She barely waited a second more before thumping his sketchbook down on his lap.

“Listen, Styles,” she hissed.

“Stiles,” he corrected.

Kate looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “That’s what I said.”

“No.” Stiles shook his head. “You said ‘Styles,’ like style of clothing or something. My name is ‘Stiles,’ with an i.”

Kate glared at him. “Whatever. Just stay away from Derek Hale. He may think he’s your boyfriend, but there’s only one person who’s right for him, and it’s not you.”

“Maybe so,” Stiles agreed easily, “but you know who has to make that decision? Derek. Not you.” He picked up his sketchbook, tucked away his pencils, and walked away from Kate.

This wasn’t high school. And no one should ever be able to call dibs on a person anyway.

Kate needed to grow up, but Stiles doubted that she ever would. She’d had lines by her eyes and a little gray in her hair under the bad dye job. She’d probably never had to work for anything in her life, working in Daddy’s company, having men thrown at her feet either by themselves or by circumstances.

If dating Derek got Kate off his back, then Stiles was game.

His phone chimed.

Derek.

Thanks. What did you want to do tonight? Dinner? Movie?

Stiles paused, thinking. He’d only been planning on taking Derek out to The Boot, a steakhouse on the edge of town. Jeans and flannel almost a requirement. But a movie…No, Stiles didn’t like movies for first dates. There was a small park—just a bench and some trees—near Stiles’ apartment that he liked to sit outside and dream up new adventures for his webcomic.

Maybe he could take Derek there?

Stargazing actually. If thats okay?

Derek’s reply came a few seconds later. Sounds good. Thanks.

Stiles couldn’t help the elation those words gave him. Yeah, it was Derek’s idea to pick out Stiles as a potential date, but the fact that he was agreeable to Stiles’ suggestions was a nice departure from Stiles’ usual dates.

See you at 7.

Stiles smiled at his phone, sending, See u then and then basically floating home, his steps light and unfettered.

He would make tonight awesome for Derek. And himself. The start of something new and beautiful.

The end would be fiery, and he’d have to guard his heart, but there wasn’t any harm in playing pretend, right? Thinking of a future where Derek did really want to date him. Where Kate Argent wasn’t a reason Derek needed safety or that Stiles could provide that safety.

Yeah. It was a nice fantasy.

~ * ~

The Boot wasn’t too crowded and the food only so-so, but when Derek got going, he could tell a story and keep Stiles sitting on the edge of his seat.

Using interrogation tactics gleaned from a lifetime as the son of a law officer, Stiles managed to extract Derek’s online persona from him, filing away the information for later in case he had to live a sudden Derek-less existence.

Like after publicly breaking up with Derek to make him undesirable.

After their meal, which Derek paid for and Stiles vowed to get the next one, they headed to the little park by Stiles’ apartment. He was acutely aware that sometime during their meal, the sallow-faced man Kate had been with showed up, and now he was following them.

“Excuse me a moment,” Stiles said, ducking into the bushes, like he was going to take a leak. Instead, as soon as he was out of sight, he pulled out his phone and sent a text to Cora, asking her to look into Kate Argent and her associates.

Cora was a junior deputy at the Beacon County Sheriff’s Department and as such had access to resources that Stiles could only dream of—legally—obtaining.

Her reply came immediately: What am I looking for?

Stiles made sure his flash was off before he took a quick snap of Derek standing under the streetlight, back tense, facing down the sallow-faced man, who was perfectly illuminated, if even more washed out because of the quality of the light.

Fella on the left

On it

Stiles put away his phone and stepped out from the bushes, tugging at his zipper like he was just redoing it.

Derek sagged, visibly relieved to see him.

“Problems?” Stiles asked, putting his arm around Derek’s waist, making sure to keep his hand from actually touching him to keep up with the illusion that he’d just handled his dick.

“No,” Derek lied.

The man nodded his agreement. “Just thought I recognized him.”

“And do you?”

“Yeah,” again it was Derek who spoke. “This is Jerry. He works in Kate’s office with her.”

“Jerry, huh? Well, glad to see that you’re not a stranger I have to call the cops on. Just a coworker.”

Jerry shrugged. “I’m not who you should be worried about.”

“And neither is Kate. Go tell her the date was great. And we’re going to have sex now.”

Jerry scuttled away, his expression somewhat relieved. Puzzling.

Stiles’ phone pinged and he checked it to find a text from Cora.

Jerry has priors. Stay clear of him.

Priors, huh. Could be why he hung around Kate so much outside of work, if she had something on him.

Will do, he sent back. Well, he would certainly try. If Kate and Jerry had plans to keep running into Derek and him when they were on dates, Beacon Hills wasn’t the largest.

“Let’s get you home,” Stiles said to Derek, wondering at the stricken look he received in return.

“I thought we were supposed to go stargazing?”

“Yeah, if you want. I thought after running into Jerry, you might want to go home so that you wouldn’t risk running into him again.”

“I mean, isn’t it better to give them more evidence that we’re dating?”

“Sure. Okay.” Stiles took Derek’s hand, led him to the park. The whole way, he couldn’t shake the sensation that he’d done something wrong.

They sat on a bench, and Stiles let his head fall back. Even though they were competing with all the light pollution of the city, the stars were still breathtaking. Stiles liked to imagine that he was on a different world, exploring like his webcomic. It sure beat studying graphic design and living in his skin some days.

“Are we really going to have sex?” Derek asked quietly after a few minutes.

“No.” Stiles moved his head so that he could see Derek’s profile. “Did you want to?” He’d thought the whole ruse of them dating was to get Kate off Derek’s back so that he wouldn’t have to be assaulted.

And then he remembered what he’d said to Jerry.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sitting up and turning to face Derek. “I shouldn’t have said that, and especially not without clearing it with you first.”

Derek shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Derek, you’re allowed to be upset and to stand up for yourself. That’s what the ground rules are for. If I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable, then I need to know so that I don’t do it again.”

Derek nodded. “Okay. So, wanna point out any constellations?”

Happily, Stiles leaned back, lifting an arm. And then realized that Derek was putting him on. Amateur stargazer that he was in his spare time.

As first dates went, it wasn’t either the best or the worst, but it was a solid seven-and-a-half in Stiles’ book, and he had to remind himself, after walking Derek home, that they weren’t really dating.

It would undeniably get more difficult the longer they played the ruse, but at least there was an end. Even if it painted Stiles as the bad guy. It wasn’t like Stiles needed his reputation to remain pristine for Kate Argent. In fact, the more she disliked him, the better in his opinion.

Maybe he could work this storyline into his webcomic. It wasn’t like his adventurers were currently on an adventure.

On the one hand, Stiles had based Malcolm on Derek, subconsciously. And something like this—needing to pretend to date to throw off an unwanted suitor—was something Malcolm could potentially encounter. On the other, more logical hand, Derek probably read Stiles’ webcomic. Cora certainly did. Better not to muddle it with real life situations.

Shame though. It’d make a great arc. Even though he’d need to create a whole new character because Mallorca was asexual and uninterested in dating anyone platonically, and Stiles already knew that if he put a fake-dating in his comic, he’d have to end it as a real love story. Too bad real life couldn’t mimic fiction.

Stiles shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked home, mind already spinning with the storyline he couldn’t post.

~ * ~

Stiles woke up to a barrage of texts. Some from Cora. One from Derek. And seventeen from an unknown number.

Stiles opened Derek’s text first.

Kate got your number. I let Cora know too. If she bugs you, file a report. Maybe we can get her on harassment.

Stiles turned to Cora’s three texts.

Derek told me about kate getting ur #

If she bothers u let me kno

Come by the station. We’ll get u set up w/reports

He sent a text to each Hale thanking them for their concern. And then he read each and every one of the unknown texts.

It was definitely Kate.

She moved from a joking tone to downright threatening.

Well, Stiles knew what he was doing with his morning. Derek and Cora were right that he needed to establish a pattern of harassment. He’d suspected that being in Derek’s orbit was dangerous but to actively be threatened with bodily harm was another thing. Kate wasn’t stupid enough to actually threaten him, was she?

No. It was more likely that these texts were from Jerry or some other associate-slash-lackey.

Still. Stiles could give the phone’s owner hell. Maybe teach Kate a lesson by proxy.

He shot another text to Cora, letting her know that he’d stop by the station because of the texts he’d received.

Then, he took a shower, grabbed his textbook for his 1:00 class, and headed out.

Cora met him at the front desk. She snapped her fingers at him until he surrendered his phone.

While she copied the texts to an evidentiary phone, he poked his head into his dad’s office.

“Stiles,” Dad said in the way that usually meant he wasn’t pleased to see him. “I hear you’ve got a new boyfriend.”

Stiles winced. “Yeah. Meant to tell you about that.”

“You’re an adult. You can make your own decisions.” Dad rummaged in his desk until he found a bottle of antacids. He popped a couple in his mouth, chewing with a grimace. “You’re not here because your boyfriend is being a possessive asshole, are you?”

“No, not my boyfriend.” Stiles winced again. “Actually, it’s someone who wants to date my boyfriend. Kate Argent. She didn’t use her own phone to text me. She’s too smart for that.”

“Great.” Dad ran a hand over his face, digging at his eyes. “So who’s phone did she use?”

“That I don’t know. I think Cora is trying to figure that out now.”

“Great.” Dad rattled the antacids before putting them back in his desk. “Keep us in the loop if there are more incidents. And tell your boyfriend that I’d like to meet him some day too.”

“Dad,” Stiles whined, “it’s still so new. Let us see if there’s something there before we start introducing each other to families.”

Cora knocked on the door before his dad could open his mouth again. She handed Stiles his phone. “You were right that Kate didn’t use her own phone. She used Jerry’s. The kind of threats on there…” she whistled. “Well, let’s just say that it violates his parole.”

“So Kate’s burning her bridges.” Stiles bit his lip. “Hey so, Jerry followed us when we were on our date yesterday.” He blushed, embarrassed that he’d even said anything at all last night. “I told him we were going to have sex because I knew he was only following us on Kate’s orders.”

“And did you?” Dad asked.

“No, not that that’s any of your business. Thing is, Kate might be punishing Jerry for bringing her news she didn’t want to hear.”

“That’s definitely a possibility.” Dad sighed. “Okay, Stiles. I know you have class today. How about you head out? Let us know if you get any more texts.”

“Will do.” Stiles left the station with a nod to Cora. What a fucking mess. Derek didn’t need a boyfriend: he needed a bodyguard. Hell, Stiles needed a bodyguard after this morning.

How could Derek continue to work at Kate’s family’s company when she was such a menace?

Or maybe it was the fact that Derek was “dating” Stiles that made her flip out on him.

Whatever the reason, Stiles needed to warn Derek. There was a good chance that Kate would escalate, and Derek was probably her intended victim.

She was worse than what Derek had said. She was dangerous and volatile. And Stiles wanted to be the one to bring her down. He didn’t want to hide or let her win because doing either of those things meant that she’d get Derek, and that was not an acceptable outcome.

Yes, they were fake-dating, but that didn’t mean Stiles didn’t care for or not love Derek.

He sent a text to Derek, asking to meet him after class ended at 5:00 and to watch out in case Kate tried anything retaliatory.

Then, he tried not to vibrate out of his skin with pent up anticipation and worry and every negative emotion he could feel in a four hour span.

~ * ~

Derek brought Stiles a coffee when they met at the park by Stiles’ apartment.

Stiles accepted the coffee and sat on the bench. His leg wouldn’t stop bouncing up and down, no matter how he pressed on it. “Hey, so did Kate do anything to you today?”

“No.” Derek took the seat next to Stiles, put his hand on his knee and then pulled back. “She was tied up in meetings all day. Jerry, though, got arrested over lunch.”

“Oh?” Stiles tried to play at being surprised but Derek touched his leg again. “Okay, yeah. So I think it was Kate, but someone blew up my phone today with threats and things.”

“Are you okay?” The worried furrow that appeared between Derek’s brows was adorable, and before he could stop himself, Stiles reached out to smooth it away. Derek smiled at the gesture.

“I’m fine. I filed a report with the Sheriff’s Department. That’s probably why Jerry got arrested. It was probably his phone.”

“I’m sorry that I got you roped into this. I didn’t think that she’d try and go after you.”

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” Stiles took a sip of the coffee. It was too sweet, but that was okay. There was plenty of time to teach Derek how he liked his coffee. “If she gets mad enough, she’s going to make mistakes. We can stop her with those mistakes.”

“Yeah but, I just don’t want one of her mistakes to be hurting you.”

“That’s so sweet.” To make his point, Stiles sipped at the coffee again. “Look, Derek, you knew she was possessive. It’s why you made yourself unavailable. Anything she does is on her. And your sister is a freaking deputy. Kate should know better than to mess with you.”

“And yet,” Derek murmured.  He set his hand on Stiles’ knee again, and Stiles realized that his leg wasn’t bouncing anymore. “I don’t want you to get hurt because of Kate, so I think we should back off the dating thing.”

“You think so? I mean, if Kate was mad enough to burn one of her associates because of one date, imagine how much damage she’ll do to herself the longer we ‘date.’”

“I guess.”

“Besides, I thought the date was actually kind of good. And if Jerry isn’t going to be around to interrupt us again, then all the more reason to do it again.”

Derek looked away. “I don’t want to trap you,” he said quietly. “I panicked when Kate demanded that I produce my boyfriend immediately. I saw you drawing, and I—I blanked. You were familiar and that’s why I picked you out. I’m sorry.”

Stiles managed to hook a finger under Derek’s chin and draw his gaze back. “I wouldn’t have agreed to date you if I hadn’t wanted to help out.”

“But it’s not real dating,” Derek said, bitterly.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s doing what it needs to do,” Stiles said, just as bitter. He was a little mad that Derek kept reminding him that it wasn’t real. Stiles wished it were, but he also didn’t know how to broach that subject, especially because it was officially only the second day they’d been dating. And how had his dad heard about it? Stiles hadn’t told him, hadn’t wanted to jeopardize whatever rapport he and Derek had. After all, it wouldn’t do for his dad to confront Derek and announce “About damn time.” Yeah, Stiles had been friendless for nearly three years after his childhood best friend Scott McCall had transferred to a school close to his grandmother after his mother was injured in a workplace accident and his dad couldn’t take him in.

In retrospect, it probably hadn’t been Stiles’ best idea to get drunk and confess to his dad that he was bisexual and crushing on the star of the basketball team. Surprisingly, his dad had taken it well and had taken to teasing Stiles about seeing Derek when he and Cora became friends.

Now it was a matter of time before Dad hunted down Derek and demanded to have a father-boyfriend talk with him. And knowing his dad, he would probably take the opportunity to embarrass Stiles with his long-standing crush. Nope. Better to keep them apart.

“Look, Kate was probably upset because Jerry reported what I said to him.”

Derek shot Stiles a scathing look. “You think I don’t know that? Why’d you tell him that anyway? It’s not like I do that. And especially not on the first date.”

“But that wasn’t supposed to have been our first date,” Stiles pointed out. “I mean, it went toward establishing our—your alibi to having been dating me for a while.”

Derek flushed, glaring at his lap. “I guess,” he mumbled, as close to a “You’re right” Stiles was likely to get.

It did not make him feel any better. He’d still used Derek, albeit in a way that had actually helped his case. Maybe. Still, Stiles felt skeevy, like Kate had crawled under his skin and jack-hammered the crudeness of declaring sexing up Derek Hale out of his mouth.

It was not a pleasant sensation.

“I am sorry about telling him that.”

Derek shrugged, and Stiles realized he was trying to play it cool. Why though? “It’s not that big of a deal. I mean, as you pointed out, if we’ve been dating for a while, it’s pretty obvious that we would have started having sex at some point.”

Or maybe not, Stiles thought, studying Derek’s suddenly green face. “Dude, are you sex-repulsed?”

“What?”

It was Stiles’ turn to shrug. “I don’t know. Like, the thought of sex, especially you having sex, makes you feel physically sick or something. Repulsed by the idea of sex.”

Derek looked thoughtful for a minute. “Maybe,” he finally said. “I guess. Cora just calls me asexual.”

“That’s probably a part of it.” And now Stiles felt even worse about telling Jerry that he and Derek were off to do the horizontal tango. Great. Guilt felt a lot like heartburn, except Stiles wouldn’t be able to chew a few antacids and have it go away. “So, I’ll understand if you really don’t want my help anymore.” Stiles bit off the rest, Not that I’ve been much help so far, because this really was not about him and he had actually helped even if it was just Kate throwing a tantrum.

“No. Kate probably smells blood,” Derek said. “She’ll probably double-down and I don’t know if I can deal with that alone.”

“Hey, you’re not alone,” Stiles hurried to assure him. “You’ve got Cora and you’ll still have me on your side even if you decide that the fake-dating isn’t working out.”

Derek seemed to think about that for a few minutes before nodding slowly. “Yeah. Okay. Hey thanks, Stiles.”

He leaned over, gave Stiles a one-armed hug, and then jumped to his feet. “I was wondering if you wanted to schedule another date now? Maybe Sunday night? There’s this really cool spot out in the preserve. Even better for looking at stars than this park. Would you like to go?”

Stiles couldn’t stop the smile or the skip in his heartbeat. “I’d love to,” he said, trying to force his tone not to jump. He wasn’t very successful but Derek didn’t seem to notice that he was unnecessarily happy for their next date. “Midnight picnic?”

“Sounds great. I’ll pack the food.”

“Okay, see you Sunday.”

Derek smiled and walked off.

Almost immediately the guilt came back, wriggling its way into his mind, spreading tendrils of doubt and disgust.

Stiles sighed, deflating down as he thought about just what he was doing. How could he survive a month of dating Derek, a month of “pretending” to be in love, and then break up like nothing happened?

How was he supposed to yell at Derek and make him un-date-able when Stiles was walking-breathing proof that someone wanted to date Derek?

He cursed himself for not asking out Derek earlier. Yes, Derek probably would have said no. It was his sister’s friend. They’d known each other since Stiles was a freshman and Derek was a senior in high school. It would have been weird, and Stiles would have been hurt by the rejection, but it surely would be better than this pseudo-relationship they were in.

Stiles needed advice, and he only knew one expert on Derek Hale. Well, only one that he was willing to talk to. Derek had another, older sister who still sometimes scared Stiles.

And there was no way Stiles was talking to either of Derek’s parents.

Nope. Cora was his go-to encyclopedia on her brother. Even after eight years.

He shot her a text, asking to meet to discuss personal things.

Her reply was almost immediate: told u

Which, no she hadn’t. She’d threatened his knees over text and then laughed her ass off when he told her face to face about dating Derek, because apparently her brother was indeed un-date-able and definitely some form of asexual. She revealed that he’d never even confessed crushes in high school.

“Sucks,” was what she’d said before she changed the subject to the upcoming Beacon Hills celebration days.

Well, told-you-so or not, Stiles still needed advice, and Cora was still going to give it to him, whether she wanted to or not.

~ * ~

Well, being adults kind of got in the way, and Stiles had papers due that he worked on all day Saturday, and Cora had a double shift at the station, so it wasn’t until Sunday afternoon that their schedules finally managed to line up enough for him to crash into her room and fall onto her bed, spilling out the whole story, leaving nothing out. Before, he’d only told her that he was going to be dating her brother as an experiment, per Derek, not him.

“You did what now?” Cora asked for the third time.

“I agreed to fake-date Derek even though I am in love with him,” Stiles dutifully repeated for the third time.

“Why would you do that?”

Finally. A different question.

Stiles shrugged. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see how uncomfortable he was. And Kate wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Derek told me that she’s targeted other men like him and that she always gets away with it because she files reports first.”

Cora narrowed her eyes. “Reports like what?”

“Rape and assault.”

“Jesus fuck, really?”

Stiles nodded.

“So you were helping him?”

“More like he panicked, picked me out so that he wasn’t ‘available,’ and then I agreed to keep up the charade.”

“And now you’re here,” Cora confirmed. “In love with my brother and fake-dating him.”

“Yep.”

“So is the public dumping still on?”

“Is Kate in custody yet?” Stiles countered. Cora glared at him. “Then yes. Yes it is.”

“Well that’s fantastic. Are you planning on telling my brother that you’re in love with him?”

“Ah, no. I was actually hoping that avoiding that particular problem might make it go away.”

Cora blew out a breath through her nose. Secretly, Stiles agreed. He didn’t think this was a problem that time would solve. In fact, the longer he let Derek believe that he was just helping him out instead of trying to save up as many memories of dating Derek as possible, the more their separation was going to hurt. Stiles knew he could heal from a broken heart because he’d done it before. He’d just never had to heal from his first crush.

And he didn’t want to. Selfishly, he wanted Derek to realize that dating Stiles was the best thing ever and they would never break up. Mopey, he voiced this sentiment to Cora.

“Well, you could always confess your feelings to, you know, the object of your feelings.” Stiles vigorously shook his head. “Then, something else you can do is just never break up with him. Eventually he’ll have to realize that you’re dating.”

And then Stiles would get promptly broken up with.

“We need to remove the threat of Kate,” Stiles said. “Without the excuse of why we’re dating, I can maybe ask him out again properly.”

“So how do you get rid of Kate?” Cora asked.

Stiles thought for a few minutes. “Well, she blew up my phone with threats after learning that Derek and I were ‘going to have sex.’” He aggressively shoved his air quotes in Cora’s face in an attempt to ward off any smacks or grossed out reactions she might have to him fucking her brother.

Cora fell over laughing. “Derek? Having sex?” She was practically hooting, and while Stiles understood the sentiment, it still stung.

“Hardy har har,” he intoned. “Yes, me having sex with your asexual brother is so fucking funny.”

Cora swallowed her laughs and sat up. “I’m sorry. That was really mean. It’s just, growing up with Derek gives me a perspective that maybe you’ll get to learn someday. There’s no way Derek’s having sex any time soon. In fact, if he ever has sex, I’ll buy you a diamond ring.”

“The diamond market is an evil industry and I won’t be a party to its support.”

“Jesus, Stilinski, it’s just an expression. I’m never going to actually buy you a ring of any kind.” She paused, staring into space, before a gleam came into her eyes. Stiles did not like that look. That look got him in trouble for boosting his dad’s whiskey sophomore year, leading to his bisexual confession. That look got them busted for sneaking into the only bar in Beacon Hills that didn’t card minors but called their parents.

That look was going to be the death of him one day, and while he might protest the whole way, he was still going to do whatever it was that gave Cora that look.

“What if you could incite Kate into giving herself up just by doing something really simple?” Cora asked, far more innocently than whatever she had planned.

“And how can I do that?” Stiles returned, apprehensively.

“By proposing.”

“To Kate?”

Cora hit his arm lightly. “No, idiot,” she said affectionately. “To Derek.” Stiles stared at her, incredulous. “I mean,” she rolled her eyes, “instead of breaking up with him, propose to him. Publicly so that Kate gets wind of it right away. I’ll be there so I can arrest her if she tries anything.”

“It’s been a day,” Stiles said. “If I propose now, Derek will think I’m crazy.”

“You can always ask him out again. Right now, isn’t it more important to get rid of Kate? As long as she’s around, your relationship will always be about keeping her away from Derek. Without that threat, Derek would be more open to dating you.”

“If he forgives me,” Stiles muttered.

Cora waved away his concern. “I’ll make sure he still likes you after.”

“Wait, he likes me now?”

Cora snorted. “No. He doesn’t like anyone. It’s Derek. You remember him from high school.”

“I remember him being really hot and me being too chickenshit to talk to him.”

“Well, you’re certainly not shy now,” Cora pointed out. She stood up and grabbed something off her dresser. She tossed it at Stiles, and he juggled it before she plopped down next to him again.

“What is this?” Stiles knew it was a ring box. Why Cora had given it to him, he didn’t understand. Was he supposed to use this ring to propose to Derek?

Cora opened the box, revealing a simple silver band set with a single black stone. “Zirconium,” Cora explained. “Not a real diamond.”

“Suits you,” Stiles said, because it did. Cora had had a goth phase in high school, and the only reason she probably still didn’t wear all black was because of her job. And that was only because Beacon County deputies wore brown uniforms.

She didn’t paint her nails or wear heavy makeup but that was probably because Cora was Newton’s First Law embodied—a body at rest will stay at rest even if that body wants to have heavy eyeliner and black fingernails.

“And this ring won’t be weird to propose to your brother with?” Stiles asked. He couldn’t see Derek wearing any jewelry. Hell, he never saw him wear his class ring even after agonizing about getting it.

“Well, it’s not like you’re really proposing. You’re just trying to get Kate off his back long enough for me to find something to charge her with.”

“And you’ll definitely be there?”

“How do you think Derek is getting there?” Cora paused. “You are proposing at the mall, right?”

“It is the most public place in Beacon Hills, and Derek did want it to be public.”

“Good. Okay, so I’ll make sure Kate is there to witness it.” She closed the ring box. “Stiles, Derek might say yes if he feels pressured, like if he sees Kate, so if you’re expecting him to break up on the spot, he might not.”

“I’m already fucked,” Stiles said, tucking the ring box into his pocket. “It’s not like I can fall anymore in love with him.”

“Don’t speak your own prophecy,” Cora said. “I’ll do my part, but Derek can’t know that I suggested the proposal. He’d never forgive me.”

“Oh, so it’s okay if he hates me after?” Stiles asked, just a little bitter. Derek was Cora’s brother. He’d eventually be okay with her. Stiles, though, wasn’t family, and as soon as he’d outlived his usefulness, Derek would have no obligation to keep in contact with him. It sucked that this was Stiles’ dream but Derek’s nightmare.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t hate you forever,” Cora promised.

Time would tell if it was an empty promise.

“Okay, so, should I have a script or do you want to leave it up to chance?”

“Words,” Cora immediately replied, retrieving a notebook and pen from under the bed. She flipped to a blank page and wrote at the top: Stiles’s Proposal Speech.

Then, she sat and tapped her pen on the paper for about five minutes.

“Can’t think of anything?” Stiles asked. “Like, maybe I should mention that even though it’s been such a short time, I already know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Or is that too much?”

“Might be a bit much for Derek, but it’s perfect for Kate.” Cora wrote it down. “Got anything else?”

Stiles had plenty of other ideas, years of observing and loving Derek from afar was enlightening, but he didn’t want to burn everything on this proposal that wasn’t even going to be real. So he only gave Cora a few more ideas, checked his phone for the time, and made the excuse of having to get ready for the date with Derek to escape.

Cora didn’t respond, too busy stringing together his ideas into what was certainly going to be a melodramatic, eloquent speech.

Stiles would collect it tomorrow, and then he and Cora would set the trap for Kate. It felt like trapping Derek too.

And Stiles was not okay with that.

It was one thing for Derek to claim him as a boyfriend to try to escape Kate’s persistence, but it was another thing entirely to trap Derek in that lie by proposing and having Kate there. Of course, Stiles could always take it back after Kate was arrested, but that was if Kate reacted the way they expected her to. If she didn’t, and Derek still was pressured to say yes, then Stiles thought he was no better than Kate.

He took a deep breath, took out his phone to text Derek to cancel tonight, and saw a message from Derek.

Just wanted to say, really looking forward to tonight. I really like hanging out with you, and I’m so thankful you’re here.

Stiles paused, mind spinning. Derek liked him? He would have given anything in high school for Derek to acknowledge him, but now, it felt cheapened.

Can’t wait 2, Stiles texted back. And that was not what he needed to say, but he figured he could think about it and talk to Derek tonight. Maybe they wouldn’t even need Cora’s plan if Kate realized that they were going on a date to an isolated area.

But that sounded like a great way to get murdered by her without having backup.

Stiles shook his head. He didn’t even know what was right anymore. Get rid of Kate by proposing to Derek? Don’t propose to Derek?

Either way, he wanted one last date with Derek before the shit hit the fan. He’d make tonight the best that he could and then if Derek decided to break contact after tomorrow, then Stiles could subsist on the what-if of a relationship with Derek with reality sprinkled in.

Life was going to suck so much, but Stiles was used to it. Mostly.

~ * ~

He and Derek met at the entrance to the preserve, and Stiles scoffed at the “No Entry After Dark” sign. The Hales had installed it after a few too many teens got caught out there, having the kind of fun their parents didn’t want them to have.

It was a lame measure, easily navigable, except for the stretched chain that meant they couldn’t take any vehicles with them.

Derek hefted a basket that must have held the midnight picnic, and Stiles lifted the chain so he could duck under it. It gave him the perfect opportunity to ogle Derek’s ass, but he couldn’t enjoy it. Guilt was choking down most of his other emotions and, not for the first time, he was thinking it had been a grave mistake to come here.

Even worse was there was no cell phone service out here so he couldn’t even send an SOS text to Cora.

It wasn’t long before Derek made him forget about his misgivings. They lied on a blanket, looking up at the stars. Which were definitely more visible without the light pollution of Beacon Hills.

It wasn’t Stiles’ intention, but he found himself talking about his webcomic, about the adventures the characters were on. Turned out Derek was a big fan, had read it from the start.

“Don’t be mad,” he prefaced his confession. “Cora told me all about it back when you first started posting it. I liked it enough to keep coming back.”

Stiles smiled. He didn’t mind. He hadn’t sworn Cora to secrecy until after the comic had taken off and gained Internet fame. It was actually a relief that Derek had seen the comic and hadn’t made the connection that Malcolm was based on him.

Before he quite knew it, they’d been there for three hours, and Derek was dozing, head on his shoulder.

Stiles nudged him. “Should we go home?” he asked, thinking of the sign at the entrance of the preserve.

Derek yawned, snuggling closer. “Don’t wanna move,” he mumbled.

“We should though,” Stiles said. “I’m sure that even your parents don’t want you out here all night.”

Derek sighed before sitting up. “You’re right. Come on. We can crash at my parents if we’re too tired to drive home. They live just off the side of the preserve.”

Stiles wasn’t sure if he should take Derek up on that offer, but he had to admit that it was really nice to have Derek next to him as he fell asleep. And just like that the guilt was back.

“I should get back to my apartment. I have class tomorrow.”

“And you let me have a late date?” Derek asked, incredulous.

Stiles shrugged. “I really like hanging out with you. It’s not a big deal, and it’s not like I’d already be in bed anyway.”

“Still, I don’t want to get in the way of your schooling. Or your interests. You don’t have to go on dates with me. It’s not like Kate’s watching us that closely.”

Stiles grunted in agreement. Except, the minute they were back on the access road and had service again, both their phones dinged with incoming messages.

Stiles had several texts from an unknown number and two voicemails. Derek frowned down at his phone. Stiles punched in his voicemail.

Cora.

“Stiles, where the fuck are you? Don’t go back to your apartment. We got a call out. Fire was dispatched. Kate Argent—not proven of course—just burned your apartment down. Call me back now.”

Sent almost an hour ago.

Stiles turned to Derek, and he was ashen, his own phone to his ear. Faintly, Stiles could hear someone screaming over the speaker.

“Are you okay?”

Derek nodded, but he didn’t move even when the message either stopped or dropped to a volume Stiles could no longer hear.

Stiles dialed Cora’s number, putting her on speaker. “Stiles! Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m at the preserve,” he answered, “with Derek. We’re both okay.”

“Stay right there. The Sheriff is sending a deputy out to you.”

“What’s up with my apartment? Someone burned it down?”

Cora blew out a breath. “We won’t know until the arson investigator takes a look at it. We were able to save most of the building, but you’ll have to file reports with your insurance.”

“That’s just great.” Stiles sighed, running a hand over his head and tugging at his hair. “Thanks for doing that, Cora.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Just get in your car and lock the doors. The deputy should be where you are in less than half an hour. And keep Derek with you.”

Derek moved to lean over Stiles’ phone. “Why?”

Cora blew out a breath. “We’ve found some disturbing imagery at the scene,” she said. “You’re both not safe.”

“Cora, I got some messages from Kate, I think. It was a little hard to understand what she was saying. I’ll pass on the messages when the deputy gets here.”

Someone spoke to Cora, their words coming through the line like a heavy blur. Stiles thought he recognized his dad’s voice though.

“Okay, so the Sheriff wants you to go to the Sheriff’s Station. Someone will meet you there to take copies of the messages you’ve both received.”

“Both?” Stiles asked. He hadn’t mentioned the messages he’d gotten. How had she guessed?

“Both,” Cora repeated. “Look, if this is Kate, she’s escalating and quickly. Stiles, you had those messages from before. I would be surprised if you hadn’t gotten more. Now, get in your car and start driving. We have no idea where Kate is, and for all we know, she found out where you are. Get in your car, lock your doors, and start driving. Don’t stop until you’re at the Sheriff’s Station and a deputy can escort you in.”

“And I guess you want us to stay on the line?” Stiles took Derek’s hand, leading him to his Jeep.

“Preferably, yes,” Cora answered. “Are you in your vehicle yet?”

“Yep.” Doors were locked too. Derek buckled his seat belt, setting the basket down by his feet. Stiles buckled his own belt and turned the key in the ignition.

The headlights came on and Stiles swallowed back a yelp. Derek next to him wasn’t as lucky.

“What?!” Cora cried. “What’s going on?”

Kate Argent was standing in the headlights. How they hadn’t seen her, Stiles didn’t know. He threw the Jeep in reverse and punched the accelerator.

Kate lumbered after them, raising her hand to throw something after them.

Derek yelled again when glass shattered over the hood of the Jeep, fire spreading with it.

“We’re on fire!” Stiles yelled into his phone.

“What?!”

“She threw a fucking Molotov cocktail or some shit at us.”

“And now you’re on fire?!”

“Yes!” Stiles shifted to drive and stood on the accelerator. “Where is she?” he asked Derek.

“I don’t know. I didn’t see. I think she pulled off after she threw that thing. Are we okay to keep driving even though we’re on fire?”

“No!” Cora answered. Stiles ignored her, pressing the gas a little harder. “Stop driving! Get out and hide! We’re all coming to get you!”

“I’m not letting that bitch get her hands on us or my Jeep.”

Quietly, Cora asked, “Even if it ends up costing you both your lives?”

“Here she comes!” Derek shouted.

Out of the corner of his eye, Stiles saw headlights aiming right for them. He jerked the wheel, switching to the brake. The whole Jeep shuddered and the brakes squealed as he executed a sharp turn. The vehicle, looked like a two door car of some kind, missed them by inches.

“We’re heading west from the preserve, back to town. Kate’s still chasing us.”

“And are you still on fire?”

Derek unbuckled his seat belt and shrugged out of his jacket. Stiles bumped the Jeep up onto the pavement and slowed. Derek leaned out of his rolled-down window and beat at the flames with his jacket.

After a few tense moments where Kate came barreling out of the preserve and turned on to the road, tires screeching, the flames were out, and Derek was back inside, buckled up again.

“No,” Stiles said. “Not on fire anymore. But Kate’s chasing us, and I hate to say it, she’ll probably catch us. My Jeep is not the fastest thing on the road.”

“We’re coming to you. Do not deviate.”

Already, Stiles could see flashing lights up ahead. Behind them, Kate slowed and then turned off.

“She’s not with us anymore,” he announced.

“Good,” Cora said. “Keep driving. You’ll have a police escort to the Station. We’ll put your car in the evidence garage so it won’t be left unattended. Are you both okay?”

Stiles nodded, mentally checking himself over. Yeah. He was fine. He turned to ask Derek the same question and realized that Derek was not okay. He was hyperventilating, shaky and pale, soot smudged over his face, his jacket forgotten over his lap.

“Uh, negative. Think we’ve got a panic attack going on. Will need assistance ASAP.”

“You or Derek?”

“Derek.”

“Roger that. Just keep driving. Help is just a little farther.”

Stiles put the worry about what Kate was doing right now in the back of his mind and focused on reaching the deputies, parking and unbuckling Derek’s seatbelt so that the first deputy to reach them could just open the door and pull Derek out onto the pavement.

Stiles climbed out, grabbing onto another deputy, who was really the Sheriff.

“You’re okay,” Stiles’ dad said, leading him to a cruiser. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Stiles gestured at Derek, still surrounded by deputies. “We saw Kate. She found us when we got back to the Jeep. We were on the phone with Cora ‘cause my apartment got burned down?”

“Not fully down,” his dad said. “The fire department responded quickly enough that they were able to save the building, but your stuff is probably another matter.”

“Well, fire must be Kate’s choice of weapon for the night because she threw something at my Jeep and suddenly, we were on fire.” Stiles’ phone trilled sharply and he pulled it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Did you reach the deputies?” Cora asked. “We got disconnected.”

“Yeah, my dad found us.” Stiles craned his neck, trying to see how Derek was doing. His view was blocked by at least three deputies. Another two were inspecting Stiles’ Jeep. “I don’t know how Derek’s doing. He was having a panic attack last I knew.”

“Was it Kate Argent?”

“Yes. She pulled off when she saw the lights. I don’t know if she’ll go home or if she’s lying in wait somewhere.”

“Well, for safety reasons, the Sheriff will probably have you stay somewhere with a guard.”

“Great. Well. Thanks for everything. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Cora drew in a breath like she was going to say something else but then all she said was, “Bye.”

“We’ve got a hotel room for you,” Dad said, taking Stiles’ shoulder and leading him to where one of the deputies was sitting with his arm around Derek. “Isaac is going to stay with you to make sure that Kate Argent doesn’t attack you.” The deputy with his arm around Derek half-waved at Stiles.

“And how are we getting there?”

“I’m driving,” Isaac said. “We can’t risk Argent seeing either of your vehicles and attacking you again.”

“And what about my Jeep? Cora mentioned putting it in the evidence garage?”

“Absolutely. We have a few deputies going to retrieve Derek’s Camaro just in case Kate Argent attacked his things like she did yours.” Dad takes Stiles’ keys

Stiles and Derek were stashed in the back of a cruiser and whisked to the station.

A few hours later after their statements and a preliminary search for Kate, Isaac the deputy and Isaac’s partner, Boyd, drove Stiles and Derek to a motel in Hill Valley.

Before he left to patrol the area, Boyd handed Stiles a lump of something. “We think this may have been the trigger for Kate’s aggression tonight,” he said, cutting a quick glance to where Derek was huddled on one of the beds. “I’m so sorry for what she’s putting you through.”

Stiles just nodded and then threw the deadbolt as soon as the door shut.

He checked his phone and noticed that Kate hadn’t sent any more messages to him. Good.

The lump Boyd had handed him weighed heavier on his soul than his palm and he squeezed it tightly. It was Cora’s ring. Kate had attacked them because she thought Stiles was going to propose to Derek. Which he had been. That had been the plan.

He sighed and stuck it in his pocket. Derek’s phone buzzed, and Derek flinched but didn’t otherwise move to answer it.

“May I?” Stiles asked when it buzzed again. Derek shrugged, handing him it, swiping his thumb over the back to unlock it.

Stiles opened the messaging app. Eighty-five texts. Eighty of them from Kate. The phone buzzed again, three times in quick succession. Make that eighty-three texts from Kate. Stiles jumped to the texts from Cora.

Don’t come home

Got camaro to garage leaving keys with sheriff

Plz call asap

Tell me ur both okay

Derek?

The time stamp on Cora’s texts meant that they’d already touched base with her after she sent the texts, so Stiles moved on to Kate’s messages.

All of them threatening and graphic.

Apparently Kate really wanted to eviscerate Stiles, pull all his bowels out, and while he was suffering, she wanted to rape Derek next to his dying corpse. She even had attached a picture of herself fucking the bottle she’d thrown at his Jeep.

Stiles promptly called his father, asked for someone to collect Derek’s phone, and then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to offer what little comfort he could to Derek.

“She isn’t going to stop, is she?” Derek asked. He was ashen, still shaken from his panic attack.

There were no words to say that would assuage him. And after a deputy had taken Derek’s phone, which had received several more graphic and certainly disturbing texts from Kate, Stiles handed Derek one of the toothbrushes Deputy Isaac had left for them, and then lied on his bed and didn’t sleep.

~ * ~

Dad called bright and early, and Derek’s phone was returned shortly after. Bad news all around: Kate hadn’t been found and had been using a now-disconnected burner phone, so all they had were her texts to Derek, and that one graphic picture. Nothing else to go by.

Derek was shaking too hard after that call that Stiles had gone down to the corner store, using techniques his dad had taught him to slip a tail, used the ancient and only payphone in all of Beacon County to anonymously dial Derek’s workplace and let them know he had taken ill. He also took the opportunity to call his professors and ask for a week off to deal with the fact that his apartment had burned. He was trying not to think about all the things he’d lost, like his physical copies of his webcomic or the quilt his great-grandmother had made for his mother when she was a baby.

Then, Stiles went back to the motel, taking a long and meandering way again, and prayed that Kate hadn’t seen him.

Derek wasn’t any better after lunch, even though it was Cora’s shift with them, and she spent all of it huddled on the bed with him.

“Before we met,” Cora said suddenly, “Derek had a stalker. He was a friend of our sister Laura. About a year after they met, he took Derek. There’s this old root cellar in the preserve. Laura had shown him it so that they could have peace and quiet away from the brats, as she called us then. He took Derek out there.”

Derek shuddered, pressing against Cora’s side.

“We had therapy for years and years. In fact, I think Derek still goes.” He nodded when she patted his arm. “The cops never caught him.” A hard glint came to her eye. “He’s buried out there in the root cellar. Or he was. It’s blocked off now anyway. Our uncle Peter still has five years before he can seek parole.”

That explained why Derek was so shaken. Stiles would be too if an event like what had happened during his childhood had repeated itself.

It also explained his urgency in picking out Stiles and calling attention to the fact that he was with someone. It hadn’t worked to dissuade Kate, but Stiles would make damn sure that it would be her downfall.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing the ring off the night stand next to his bed, “what if we lay a trap for Kate? Make sure the deputies can find her?”

He opened the box. The ring was still intact even if Kate had burned the box itself. Derek looked at the ring. “A proposal?” he asked, weakly.

Stiles nodded. “It’s why she snapped.” Guiltily, he explained about their previous idea of catching Kate when Stiles would propose. Now, things had changed. Kate had escalated far faster than any of them could have predicted. “If we go somewhere public where we can hide a bunch of deputies in the crowd, then we can lure her out and she can be arrested,” Stiles said.

“That could work,” Cora agreed. “We already know that she’s got a bunch of burner phones because she keeps contacting Derek’s phone. We’re trying to run traces on them, but it’s not really working.”

“How would you lure her?” Derek asked. When neither Cora nor Stiles said anything, he huffed. “Is she still contacting Stiles too?”

Stiles checked his phone. He’s gotten a text from each of the burner phones, but he wasn’t paying attention to it, too worried about Derek to worry about himself. Or too arrogant. Trying to keep his mind off what’s already been done to him. “Yeah. I have texts from unknown numbers.”

Cora read a few of them. “She’s definitely threatening to kill you.”

“So, here’s how you lure her: you send a mass text to everyone in your contacts except me or me too, doesn’t matter. It’s not like she knows it. And you say that you’re planning on proposing but you want a flash mob of familiar faces for support.”

Stiles stared at Derek. “That’s brilliant. It just might work.”

“Kate will know that there will be other people there,” Cora butted in. “She might not fall for it.”

Stiles picked out a text and showed it to her. In the text, Kate had described how she was going to flay him open and set his insides on fire. “I don’t think she cares about a crowd. She’ll probably show up with a gun and try shooting.”

“Let me run this plan by the Sheriff. He’ll probably want to get state police involved.”

“Tell them to wear sneakers and no watches. No visible ear pieces,” Stiles said. “I’ve seen enough pictures of undercover cops to know that they’re easily spotted a mile away. They need to blend in. Lives, more than just ours, are at stake if Kate has a weapon.”

“Just hang tight,” Cora said, phone already up to her ear. Someone rapped at the door. “That’ll be Boyd. We’ll call you with details, but just hang tight. Love you, Derek. Like you, Stiles. Don’t worry about anything, and don’t do anything without backup.”

She let Boyd in and hurried away, barking at the Sheriff. Stiles knew his dad would appreciate the information, but probably not the plan. He hoped Cora told him it was Derek’s idea.

Boyd held out his hand, and Stiles surrendered his phone.

Then, because there was nothing else to do, he pushed Derek aside and lied next to him on the bed. Eventually, he managed to drop off to sleep, mostly because Derek turned on his side, put his head on his shoulder, and weighed him down.

It was dark when Stiles woke up, and Isaac was the deputy watching them.

“The Sheriff wanted you to know that the operation has been planned for tomorrow at 1300 hours. He also wants you to know that he loves you and that he and Deputy Hale will be your escorts during the operation.”

Next to Stiles, Derek yawned widely before snuggling back down.

“Can I send the text now?” Stiles asked.

Isaac shook his head. “A text has been sent for you.”

Great, more waiting. And Stiles didn’t even have his sketchpad so he couldn’t exactly distract himself. Something else lost in the fire.

“Thank you, Isaac,” Derek prompted.

Stiles rolled his eyes and dutifully repeated the words. Then, Isaac settled in the corner, staring at nothing in particular. Derek tugged at Stiles’ arm.

“Wanna try spooning,” was all he said when Stiles looked at him. Then, he flopped over, ass pressed against Stiles’ crotch, one of Stiles’ arms over his waist, curled right above his dick. It was surprisingly intimate, especially for someone who possibly was sex repulsed, like Derek, so Stiles worked at keeping his breathing even as he experimentally threw a leg over Derek.

He hummed a little, kicked it back over and then drew it between his own legs. “Better.”

Better for Derek maybe, better for an accidental boner for Stiles. Hopefully Derek wouldn’t mind the imminent erection.

Might as well enjoy the whole experience, Stiles thought a little desperately, dropping his head to nose at the back of Derek’s neck. Derek shivered from the contact but didn’t voice any complaints, so Stiles kept his face there.

He wished it were real, and maybe that was why he didn’t fall asleep again until Derek accidentally rolled out of his arms during the wee morning hours.

~ * ~

Stiles climbed out of his Jeep, his dad hopping out of the passenger seat. Cora was driving Derek’s Camaro with Derek riding shotgun.

Derek looked pale again, nervous. He’d woken up and refused any and all touches. He’d only waved a little when Cora collected him about thirty minutes before Stiles’ dad had shown up with the Jeep.

They’re at the mall, and while a lot of Stiles’ actual contacts had regretfully informed him that they had work or school and couldn’t attend, they wished him the best. The deputies and state police officers had taken Stiles’ advice and were near indistinguishable from the regular shoppers.

“What’s the timeframe again?” Stiles asked his dad, just for something to do.

“You go in, walk around for about ten minutes, and then get to the food court—it’s been shut down for ‘repairs.’ Get on one knee, say something pretty to Derek, and we’ll grab Kate if she’s around. We might get her before then too.”

Stiles had checked his phone in the morning and had a text from one of Kate’s burners: see u there :) so she was definitely aware and at least planning something.

Derek joined them at the entrance where Dad loudly announced his plans to visit that one store that looked like a hunter’s wet dream.

“Turner’s Outdoorsman,” Stiles muttered when he marched off. “It’s called Turner’s Outdoorsman.”

“Might as well be a hunter’s wet dream,” Cora remarked. She glanced around, a casual casing to see if they’d been spotted yet. “I have to get a present for Mom. See you at the meeting place.”

Derek grabbed onto Stiles’ hand as soon as she vanished into the crowd.

“I don’t like this,” he said under his breath.

“Neither do I, but I don’t see another option to getting Kate to stop unless you want to break out your uncle and let him do what he does.”

“There’s an idea.”

“I’m not serious.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

They walked slowly, window shopping. Derek pointed out a few things that his sisters liked, and a telescope that he wanted. He was saving up for it, and though his job paid well, it sucked so much joy out of his life. “I don’t know that it’s even just Kate,” he told Stiles as they walked past a cluster of deputies, Boyd and Isaac the only ones Stiles can identify, enjoying hot pretzels.

“Those look good,” Stiles said. The deputies had been good about bringing them food, but at the motel, Stiles had been a little too nervous to eat much. Now he’s starving.

Derek wrinkled his nose at the cheese sauce, but he bought a pretzel for Stiles.

“It’s true love,” Stiles declared, dunking his pretzel and stuffing a third of it in his mouth at once.

“Twoo wuv,” Derek began quoting, and Stiles choked on his pretzel. And then, their ten minutes was up.

“Wanna check out the food court?” Stiles asked, false casualness.

Derek shrugged. “Sure, why not? Seeing you scarf that monstrosity actually made me a little peckish.”

They arrived at the food court, and Stiles pretended to be disappointed that it was closed. They could still walk through and sit at the tables, but there was caution tape littered everywhere.

It wasn’t a very romantic spot for proposals, but it was the most open and empty place in the mall right now, plus there were a few pillars that could provide emergency cover if they needed it.

Could also hide Kate, but the undercover officers swarmed the court from all angles. There was nowhere for Kate to hide now.

Derek pretended to be interested in picking up the tape while Stiles pulled out the ring, in a new box, and dropped to one knee. He waited for Derek to notice him, and when he didn’t, he cleared his throat.

Derek turned, and then, suddenly he didn’t seem to be acting anymore. His eyes filled with tears as he stared at Stiles, knelt down in the middle of an empty food court.

“Derek Hale, we’ve been dating for long enough. I know you, and I know you make me happy. I know I never want to see another day without your bright smile and charming wit in it.”

Stiles almost broke down there because he realized that he wasn’t pretending either. If he was really proposing to Derek, these were the words he’d use.

He rambled on a little bit about love and what Derek meant to him, and then he asked, “Will you marry me?”

Derek nodded, almost frantically, all but running to lift Stiles off the ground in a hug. Stiles barely noticed the commotion in the background because he and Derek were kissing. Derek’s wet face was pressed to his, their hands tangled together.

When they finally pulled apart, several of the deputies were hauling away a fighting and snarling Kate Argent. She’d dyed her honey-blonde hair dark brown and a pair of glasses were askew across her face, but it was definitely her.

“We’ll make sure her bail is too high to get out,” Dad promised them. He nodded to the ring. “Congratulations. You’re good for each other. Hope to have you over for dinner soon.”

Cora waved at them too. “I’ll text you later. Give me details, but not too many. I want to be your best man, Stiles.”

Stiles stared after them, a little shocked. “They do know that that was part of the plan, right?” he asked Derek.

Derek plucked out the ring. “Doesn’t matter if it was. It’s real now.” He slid the ring on his finger, admiring it. “You’re stuck with me now.”

Stiles barked out a startled laugh. “I think you’ll find that it is you who is stuck with me,” he countered. Soberly, he asked, “Do you want it to be real? Because Derek, I really do love you. I really would like to marry you. I’ve had too many tastes to say I can give you up. Besides, the agreement was only for a public dumping to get Kate away from you.” He pointed at the retreating group of deputies, Kate Argent in their midst, still fighting. “She’s going to be very far away from you now.”

“How about this answer?”

Stiles turned to Derek because that wasn’t an answer at all, and gets another kiss. A little drier this time until Derek pokes him with his tongue.

“Thought you didn’t kiss people you don’t know well,” Stiles joked.

Derek just grinned at him. “I spooned with you. I took you to my spot to star gaze,” he protested. “If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

Stiles took Derek’s hand and led him out to the parking lot. And that ring looked damn fine sitting on Derek’s finger.

 ~ Three Months Later ~

They kept the engagement, did the rounds with the parents and celebrations. They even had a registry for their wedding. Just a few bottles of champagne to toast with. They were also moving in together at the end of the month.

And they had gone on several dates. Derek had even written a full length novel based on Stiles’ webcomic.

Currently, they were out in the preserve, lying on a blanket, Derek’s brand new telescope set up behind them while Derek pointed up at the stars, explaining the constellations again. To Stiles, they still looked like dots, pinpricks in the dark velvet of the night.

He raised himself up on one elbow. “Hey, so what happens when the stars do align? Is there some kind of cosmic energy?”

Derek shook his head. “They’re all dead or dying. They’re so far away, and we won’t know if maybe when they align, it’s because one is killing another, or they’re merging or something. Not for billions of years, anyway.”

“Well, I know what happens on Earth when the stars align.”

Derek glanced at him, raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked. The little furrow of consternation was beautiful. Derek was beautiful.

Stiles leaned over him and slotted their mouths together. “This,” he whispered into the warmth of Derek’s lips.

For a long moment Derek didn’t move or respond. And then, just as Stiles went to pull away, he dragged him down so that now their legs were tangled. He’d become a lot more bold, more willing to test the waters, as it were.

“You asshole,” he said, smiling. “The stars didn’t align for that.”

“They could have,” Stiles retorted. He could argue his point all night, but he’d rather kiss Derek. And it seemed like Derek agreed with that plan.

On Derek’s finger, the ring glinted as brilliantly as the brightest star. Maybe the stars hadn’t aligned for this, but Stiles thanked them all the same as he managed to make Derek gasp his name to them.

~ End ~

[drennalynspast]

[ Online Relationships ]

Monday, Oct. 07, 2013

I’m going to recap several gaps in my life in which I haven’t focused a particular topic on. Online relationships have transformed me in a way in which I couldn’t have imagined. There are a lot of positive aspects as well as negative aspects to it. I used online relationships as a form of escapism from reality. It granted me immediate feedback, gratification and attention if I was lonely, stressed, and needed someone there.  The art of communicating with written words is something that helped me express myself more in depth and allow myself to be more open to the other online people.

t’s has been noted that my online friendships with people have lasted for several weeks, some several months, and others that lasted a year.  That feeling of greeting someone in the morning with an msn text and then closing an msn text before going to bed was a warm, cozy, reassuring feeling.  When I feel more open to someone, I feel comfortable around them and have some sort of emotional connection with that person.  A lot of my online friends were males. I could easily talk to them.  I will admit, a lot of it had to do with some sort of personal validation and being flattered from the praise and attention I received. 

Some of these friendships at first seemed like platonic friendships. Eventually it got to that point where I felt like I appreciated them more and wished to see them in person. I became jealous when I found out that they eventually got a girlfriend or wife.  At some points, I became confused if they just saw me as a friend or something more than a friend.  

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Thunder was my first online friend. We randomly became friends through a social networking site that my Indian friends introduced me to [the site].  He added me thinking I was 18+, but I lied about my age, and I was like 16-17 lolol.  He does some sort of computer graphic design or drawing tutorial work. He was kinda disappointed I was young, but we were just friends. Eventually I got older and was shocked he eventually found a wife from his workplace. I had no idea he was seeing anyone. We met each other in person once before he and his wife left to move to California. He and his wife were pleasant to be around. It was a positive meeting experience.  After he moved, we gradually communicated less and less. He divorced his wife. We remain FB friends.

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I met “J” through my sister. He was an admin on an anime forum. He basically helped give me emotional support through my struggles in freshman year in college while I battled loneliness and adjustment. He eventually found better employment somewhere and married a woman. Our communication dissipated quite a bit. Those phases of friendships come and go.

Being a part of that anime forum lead me to connect with a lot of other online people out there. Everyone was fairly around the same age, young and clueless about life with no obligations. I easily rose to awareness and attention by being sisters with a former moderator.  I posted my picture, and a lot of the male users complimented me and wanted to get to know me more.  One of those people stood out to me as far as being an amusing friend goes. And here I embarked on some sort of journey with Tom. 

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He was rather notorious on the forums, a bigshot member who posted frequently and was able to instill humor and witty jokes here and there.  I was impressed by his boldness and charisma.  We started out as friends. He became jealous of me when I went through that FWB phase with Dave. Eventually it lead to me being more than friends after a while. I clung to Tom when the whole Dave friendship failed. I just wanted someone to care about me and be there for me emotionally.  I wanted some substance. I wanted to have a boyfriend. I felt like I could be a “good girl” and hold off on sex. I didn't want to be a slutty girl who slept around with a lot of men, so I used this online relationship as some justification for me to force me to be more pure.

 I’ll also note that I was a stupid, naive, dumb girl who fucking webcammed for this guy when I didn’t have a fucking clue what he looked like. I just wanted attention and the shit. I wanted someone to revere in my body and appearance.

It’s always exciting and interesting discovering and talking to new people. You become flattered at the person they seemingly are. You see how amazing and confident they are.  As you get to know them more, you discover the darker side of the person. And that is what happened.

We would have minor arguments here and there that eventually did resolve.  It was an emotional struggle, but sometimes the arguments made us feel closer after the resolution. He had several red flags that I should have paid attention to. He was controlling, he was socially withdrawn from other people, he had no close real friends who he maintained a consistent communication with, he was antisocial in the real world, he also would talk about physical workout regimens but he was always reluctant showing pictures or videos of him.  But somehow despite all that shit, I was somehow convinced otherwise that he is a good and caring person that was genuinely caring about me.  That’s what I wanted right, someone to care about me?  

I had to go through a ton of bullshit with him. I was frustrated about how I was the only one who cammed, and I couldn’t even see or hear shit from his side. He made fucking excuses where he was unable to cam or talk on phone more often.  Typing this entry is also making me feel angry and disgusted as shit.  

It was like a 3 and a half year pseuedo relationship.  We messaged each other online everyday, getting into a routine of “hi, how are you etc”. And then we complain about random stuff to each other. It got to a point where I was all, “hi, when are we going to meet?”  I finally had an apartment, but he had issues with finances, no car, still living with parents.  I felt awkward if I had to drive there to meet him first. I shouldn’t be the one to go there and fucking meet him first anyway.  I already did my part by camming to him the first time. What a bastard.

Anyway, I felt like I was struggling. I told him that we shouldn’t label ourselves as BF/GF anymore. We are just friends. He took it with some difficulty, but agreed. Eventually we phased out the *kiss* in our closing statements at bedtime. Even as just friends, I felt all weird and smothered by him. It was an unfulfilling friendship that didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  I was also talking to an online guy (MMO) dude that I probably wrote an entry in a couple months back.  That MMO guy bailed out on me and didn’t seem interested in maintaining friendship with me.  MMO guy lived in Oklahoma, and I wanted to meet him too. 

Whenever I saw the new pics that Tom finally decided to show me, I was pissed and disappointed. I guess I was lying to myself thinking that he would somehow miraculously drastically change his appearance from the old 2006 photo that he showed me first.  He was sort of slightly overweight and his facial expression was that of apathy, boredness, blankness, no smile.   It was like the way he described himself in words was that of a lie compared to his actual appearance. I was lied to in a way, or deceived, or I just tried to ignore shit in the beginning and have some sort of blind hope it wasn’t true. 

I tried to give him a chance, but I suppose the physical aspect became a point to where it was starting to be more of a turn off.  I also just felt bored of him. There was nothing new in his life. He didn’t seem to have any goals or passion in his life for anything.

So yeah, throughout all this, I’m so fucking sexually frustrated and deprived  a 3 year dry spell.  I hate this idea of being faithful or devoted to someone who would never be there for me in person. There’s always that talk of someday we will meet, just wait, it will happen.  3 years of this talk and still nothing happened. I got that emotional support and attention, but I realized that I needed both- physical and emotional needs met.  It was time to say, G’bye. 

 And that’s when I met Andy in January.Tom was pissed I met Andy and just.. had sex with him on the first date.  It was unexpected and he felt like he was betrayed. But I told him, we aren’t even BF/GF anymore, no need to be worried. Somehow he felt like he had some sort of entitlement. 

I probably could have. Should have? Given him some warning as far as “hey, I’m talking to this guy and am going to go on a date with him”. kind of thing.  I probably treated him like shit. But there wasn’t any obligated rule for me to be devoted or faithful.  I don’t want to be held back. I want to do what I want. In some way, I may have used Andy as far as trying to make a stepping stone to get away from Tom. I needed to cut the strings off and tie off any lose ends. 

Tom and I discussed things further. He eventually understood what I was going through and agreed to give me space. He wanted to still see me. He wanted to still be my friend. I still felt constricted and smothered. I kept him on FB, but I wasn’t going to go on MSN anymore. He made several comments on my FB activity and feeds. I was beginning to get annoyed and pissed off at his slight actions that weren’t trying to be harmful or intimidate me.  He still tried to cling to me sometimes sending a random mail once a couple of months or weeks of self reflection.  Of course I would respond back in some manner. I told him I didn’t want to be angry all the time whenever he tried to post stuff to me. I told him that I was going to remove him from my friends list and block him.  We still have each other’s email if he wishes to contact me randomly.

I wonder if this is all considered running away.  But I feel better about myself. I feel like I can focus on myself in the real present world.  I am more away from being glued to the internet.  I appreciate Tom’s friendship and care about me. I did care about him more too at some point.  I learned several things about myself throughout the whole process. One lesson I learned was to never do online relationships again or even online friendships for that matter too.

There is so much to do and experience in the real world: meet and hang out with local people, go to places and engage in fun activities, eat with people and share stories with people in real time. Seeing their smile, seeing their humorous antics in person, and also feeling their touch in person is something that words on a screen simply cannot replicate.

After having my first boyfriend/real relationship, I felt like those 3 years talking to Tom I was missing out on a lot of things.  Even though I feel shitty about being sucked into that 3 year confusion and mess, it was still a valuable experience. I sometimes look back and imagine the pain and sadness I have inflicted on Tom. I gave him false hope and crushed his hope and anticipation.  At the same time, I need to worry about and focus on myself more.  Sometimes we all need a harsh reality check about life.

[lovemesomesurveys]

have you ever violated school dress code? No.

if you are listening to music, is the singer male / female? I’m not listening to music.

what [ if anything ] do you give up for Lent? I don’t do lent.

what phrase leads your mind directly to the gutter? I can’t think of a specific example at the moment, but I can be immature when it comes to stuff like that ha.

when you feel like giving up, how do you convince yourself not to? I just...keep going. I don’t have any wise words of wisdom or life changing advice for you.

what was the subject of the last list you made? Stuff I wanted to get at the store.

do you ever get nervous before interviews / important meetings? I definitely would if I had any interviews/important meeting to go to. I get nervous before just about everything.

who pays for the majority of your belongings? My parents. I’ve largely contributed to my graphic tee collection, though. 

would you ever willingly shop in a thrift store? I’m not a thrift store shopper. 

what is the most that you would ever spend on an outfit? Uhhh I don’t know. 

is there anything you do that just outrages your parents? It frustrates my parents cause there’s things I should be doing, health related things, that I don’t do.

when was the last time you were embarrassed in public? Hmm.

have you ever won an award you were actually proud of? Yeah, like honor roll awards and awards I got in the club I was in in college.

the importance of education, rate it from 1-10, 10 as most important? explain your choice to rate it as such? I think education is very important.

what is the coolest science experiment you’ve ever done? Hmm. I don’t know. I can’t even really remember any of them right now.

are you experiencing difficulties with any friends right now? Well, in the fact that I don’t have any cause I distanced myself everyone and just fell off the grid....

how do you deal with a fight between yourself and a friend? Probably wait a little while before trying to sort things out.

when you apologize to someone after a fight, how do you go about saying that you are sorry? I just apologize and try to explain where I was coming from.

have you ever played around with “dry ice”? No, I’d be too afraid. I don’t even drink anything that has it.

do you think parents are responsible for the actions of their children? In the vast majority of cases, yes. I believe in nurture over nature, but like with everything else, there are exceptions to the rule. <<<

how do you, personally, define music? Uhhh a stream of melody and words? haha. I don’t know.

when was the last time that you corrected someone? I don’t know.

when was the last time you were corrected? *shrug*

when did you last say “ i told you so ”? Earlier to my mom about something.

is there any celebrity you like to “ keep up with ”? I like to keep up with celebrity gossip/entertainment.

celebrity gossip: YAY or BOO? ^^^

what is the most life-changing book you have read?W Wow. That’s a difficult one. have you had a negative impact on anyone’s life? I’m sure of it.

has anyone had a negative impact on yours? who / why? Yes.

what does marriage mean to you, specifically? Something that I’m not interested in. <<< Haha, same.

how will you know when you are ready to get married? I don’t want to.

how much time have you spent contemplating your own death? Jeez.

is there a joke that you just can’t stand? I like corny, cheesy, punny jokes. I don’t like jokes that are mean and hurtful. Some just take it too far and are really distasteful. 

have you ever read any self-help books? No.

what is something you used to love, but now greatly dislike? Hm. I mean, there’s obviously things I’ve just outgrown or aren’t as into anymore, but I can’t think of something at the moment that I used to like but now greatly dislike.

what is something you used to dislike, but now like? I like some of Justin Bieber’s music now.

when ( if ) you become a parent, what will you do differently, compared to how your parents raised you? I don’t plan on having kids, but I was blessed with amazing parents so I have great examples if I ever did. 

do you equate spanking with physical abuse? would you spank a child? I think there’s other ways to discipline a child.

what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done this week? Well not just this week, but for the past few weeks I’ve been eating Wingstop 4 or 5 days out of the week. :X

— did you regret it / love it / hate it / want to do it again / etc? I love it and will definitely have it again, but :O

is emotional cheating ( in a relationship ) as bad as physically cheating? I think it could be worse. That goes deeper than sex to me.

if your bf/gf wanted to wait until marriage for sex, would you be willing? Honestly, sex isn’t a big thing for me. Maybe it’s cause I’m a virgin. *shrug* I want to wait, not until marriage necessarily cause I don’t think I want to get married, but until I’m in a committed, loving, trusting relationship with someone I feel comfortable being that intimate with. It will take a very patient and understanding guy.

when you look at the sunset, what do you think about / feel? I don’t feel much of anything. It’s just a thing that happens every day. <<<

is there someone you wish you could trust / you wish was trustworthy? No.

is there anyone that you no longer want in you life? who / why? Not currently.

how has your outlook on life changed in the past few years? Well, I’ve been in a very bad, low place for the past few years. A lot has changed and not in a good way. I don’t like the person I’ve become. I don’t even recognize myself.

have you ever walked out of a boring movie ( in theaters )? No.

how open are you with people you know online? If you read my surveys then you know I’m very open.

if a celebrity is involved in scandal after scandal, is that likely to effect how you view him/her & his/her work? Yeah, most likely. Especially if it’s something really bad.

what is one celebrity that you have zero respect for? Any of the monsters like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. 

what is one fashion trend that you hope makes a comeback? I don’t care.

what is one that you wish would just die out already? I don’t knowww.

have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol / drugs? No. Please don’t do that.

are you overly attached to your material possessions? Yes. :/

have you ever ridiculed anyone for their clothing choices? Not aloud. <<< :X

living in poverty: what do you think it’d be like? You say that like no one taking a survey could possibly be living below the poverty line <<< Right? That’s the reality for a lot of people.

what is one “ diet ” that you think is just utterly worthless? A lot of them, honestly. It’s about balance, portion control, being active, and incorporating healthy foods.

what advice would you give someone that is uncomfortable with his or her body / appearance? I don’t know? I’m very self-conscious and uncomfortable with my body and appearance. 

what advice would you give someone about to start high school? Try to make the most of it. You’ll blink and it’s over. Try not to be too harsh on yourself, everyone is figuring things out and going through changes.

what foreign food are you NOT interested in trying? Most of them. I’m very picky and due to other appetite/eating/health issues I can’t eat certain things. I’m not adventurous with trying new foods.

what foreign country do you believe is misunderstood? I’m sure they all are. 

have you ever felt entirely unwanted and alone? Yepppp.

do you understand / read shakespeare? We had to read a few in high school. I didn’t enjoy any of them.

would you feel more comfortable living with someone that owned a gun? Uhh I’d feel uneasy.

do you know anyone that lives in a foreign country? A few of you guys.

[basically-queenberyl]

When you get triggered and your dormant traumas wake from their slumber (Part 4)

NOW I can write about more recent events in my life after writing 3 previous novels for context lol. Here's a story about my hopeless love life and being triggered by advances.

So after a few stressful years of college, I could finally finish up my last semester at a slower pace and start taking better care of myself. And overall, I think I was doing so well. Then I started crushing on Josh, but I wasn't really sure that I was at first. This is HUGE for me, given the previous context. And I thought he might like me back too. Now, I'm 25 with 0 romantic experience. People don't fucking listen to me when I say that. Their ears never hear that second part or they think it's an exaggeration lol. Yes, ZERO: never had a bf, never dated, still a virgin in all aspects, never been kissed by anyone, never held hands with anyone, only hugged a few guys platonically, never been asked out before this point, never had bullshit short lived relationships in high school, never went to a dance/prom with anyone. No one has ever expressed interest in me.

With that context and previous context, the first few years of college were rough for my mental health and I was closed off to anything romantic anyway. Then when things got better, a year later I had all these hard classes, which could be another post, but it was too stressful and overwhelming to be able to focus on anything else like dating. But by last fall, I felt like this was the best possible time throughout college so far and I was kinda open to it if it was mutual.

Here's the thing. Dating was not on my radar at all, and it's not something I was looking for. But then I got to know a little more about Josh and thought he seemed cool, then the possibility of mutual feeling came up.

I wasn't looking for "a bf"! I liked HIM....

My mentality was that if it didn't work out, I would go back to what I was doing BEFORE I started liking him. No big deal.

Then I started suspecting Ray might be interested in me. I thought I saw him sneaking looks in class one day. But I was like "nah, can't be...." And he kept trying to talk to me. Fast forward to December and we start texting each other about music after the last week of classes ends, before finals. At this point my sleep schedule is fucked, so we start texting A LOT until early morning hours (I would do this with anyone who allowed it lol). But I think I gave him the wrong idea, plus I think my humor can be confused with flirting. I was only trying to be myself tho😞. Then we also started talking about all this personal stuff, which doesn't help the situation at all.

At one point in one of our conversations, I send him this song about weed, and he asks if I even smoke lol. And I told him no, but I think it's fine if other people do. Then he asked if I ever thought about trying it. I said no, but then he said "I do think it helps people see things from different perspectives... an it also makes movies better, sex better sometimes lol , music better..." No big deal, right?? But I found that kinda triggering and it made me pretty uncomfortable.

Then a few days later, I'm texting him again and he says that I should come by the restaurant he works at get food some time. And I was thinking "hmm... what is this dude trying to do??" And we established that this might not be the most practical thing b/c the menu isn't very vegetarian friendly and I'm a vegetarian. Then hours later he basically said we should get boba, smoke weed, and watch movies together at his house.

Now this one freaked me out. I was like "this dude is trying to ask me out...," but the way he did it made my mind make associations. I'm thinking, you can't say..... "weed makes movies, music, and sex better...... then go "lets get boba, smoke weed, ...then go back to your place and watch movies." Wtf am I supposed to think??? So I get SUPER triggered by this (given previous context). And I try to wiggle my way out of it.

I felt so fucking weird about everything at this point, then the next day he tries to get me to watch this ufc fight and send me a link so I could watch it for free, but I didn't respond b/c I felt like I was giving him the wrong idea.

But the whole thing was SO triggering for me and I couldn't stop thinking about it b/c it confirmed that he probably likes me, but the associations between the two things he said FREAKED ME OUT, and brought up feelings I hadn't felt for years (see previous part for context). It gave me such fucking anxiety that week.

Then my brother and I were like "lets go watch a movie." I thought it would get my mind off of what was triggering me and being ghosted by Josh. But the only thing good playing was queen and slim, so I hoped for the best (not the best thing to watch when I'm feeling triggered). And lo and behold, a graphic sex scene. So I get home after watching the movie and go straight to my room and get in bed, then I have to calm myself down for the next few hours b/c all these things that happened that week were so triggering and overwhelming that I was about to start having a panic attack.

I felt really confused. I wondering WHY is this so triggering for me? And WHY am I not triggered by Josh and the idea of dating him, but when Ray tries to ask me out I lose my shit??? And I think the difference is that I already made up my mind that I liked Josh, plus there was a chance it could be mutual. And Josh never said anything for me to associate anything sexual to any advances. Also, all my fantasies about Josh were wholesome af lol. Also maybe b/c the idea that Ray thinks of me that way is also triggering af. Would it be triggering if Josh thought of me that way? Idk. My brain is broken.

This is part of the shit I'm currently trying to work through. And I thought I was better with being triggered by sexual things. But this confirmed to me that I'm really not, entirely. Plus the string of subsequent events on top of this just made me want to push EVERYONE away. This is gonna take some work, for sure. The end.

[angeldrcps-blog]

           ✧.° ░  come on girls...get on the floor...we just wanna have some fun !! hello !! it’s me, diana ( or di if u like ), ur resident girl group stan AKLSDHSDH i go by she/her pronouns & reside in the est timezone. i’m sooo sorry this is so late...pls plot with me anyway <3 now onto the intro !! tw: drugs, alcohol, & death mention ( nothing in like graphic detail or anything tho )

background

angelina was a product of her father’s second marriage

he was married for around 10 years to a publicist, but they split after he had an affair. they had a boy together, aka angelina’s half brother ( who is like 7 years older than her )

her father remarried to her mother in 1998, who was 22 at the time. there is a significant age gap between her parents, her father being around 35 at the time of their marriage

her mother was a huge model in the 90s, think like kate moss vibes. her father was a lawyer at a law firm famous for dealing with celebrity scandals and worked exclusively for the upper class. eventually, he would come to own this firm

their relationship was not strange to the media. it was common to see older men pictured with beautiful younger women

her mother fell in love, while her father didn’t feel the same way. he had done the whole ‘love’ thing with his first marriage. his second marriage was solely for his own selfish gain ( what i’m trying 2 say is her father was a gross guy ) 

her mother got pregnant with angelina shortly after the marriage, so she took a break from her career to have a child. most people said it was career suicide to have a baby while in the peak of her career, but her mother wanted to do the right thing. plus, she was in love. she did dream of starting a family with the man she loved one day, she just hadn’t planned it to happen while she was so young

her father wasn’t ecstatic about having another child, but there was nothing he could do. he could barely be a father to his son, unfortunately

angelina was born in february in the midst of a snow storm

her father was not there to witness her birth. he was promoted to head of his law firm and claimed there was some work thing he simply couldn’t get out of. or maybe it was another affair. at just 7 years old, even angelina’s half brother begged to come when her own father wouldn’t

due to the storm, they were snowed in for the day. even after she was born, her mother and half brother stayed in the hospital watching movies. her half brother had a great affinity to his step mother.

now that i’ve rambled on about her parents i’ll get into the important stuff. angelina can’t complain much about her childhood. it had many downs, but most of her memories were days spent with her half brother, or watching backstage as her mother walked the runway

her brother began teaching her guitar when she was just 6 years old. she fell in love instantly with music and transitioned into playing bass shortly after

her parents were not too happy about her getting into music, but they didn’t have much to say as long as it just remained a hobby

the media was obsessed with angelina and her mother. they were always pictured together wearing matching outfits. angelina was a princess and an heiress. but ultimately, her mother was more like a best friend than a mother. angelina never blamed her. she felt bad that she lost her youth because of her untimely birth

as expected, her father was rarely present. in angelina’s eyes, he was a hollow shell of a person. he never cared about her half brother the same way he didn’t care about her. he had no idea who his children were, and didn’t care enough to find out

that’s why when word of her father’s death reached her, she didn’t shed a single tear. he was found dead in his office, his cause of death being a drug overdose. no one in the family had any ideas he was a drug user. her mother was impacted heavily by his sudden death. despite the way he treated his family, she was in love with him

angelina’s mom found it hard to cope with the loss and was able to be there for angelina even less than before. all angelina had left was her brother, and it was them against the world

her brother was there for angelina as much as he could be. he never wanted to leave her on her own, but he needed to finish school and take care of business. when her father died, he was the heir to the firm

during her teen years, angelina was free to do what she wanted. with no one there to watch her, she knew she could get away with anything, as long as she could manage to stay out of the public’s eye

her passion for music grew, and she found herself doing all sorts of things with all sorts of people. she was introduced to a world of parties, drugs and alcohol, but for her that was just the beginning. she wanted more from life

eventually she began engaging in past times that put her at risk, but she had no regard for the consequences. her father’s death served as a constant reminder of how short life is, so she would do anything to make the most of it

angelina would try anything at least once. to her, experience was everything

at 17, she found her way back to her mother and told her she wanted to pursue music. her mother objected at first. she always had this dream that angelina would follow in her footsteps and pursue modeling. she had the look and the connections, it would’ve been hers for the taking

but music was her dream and her passion. her mother finally agreed, but only if angelina agreed to pursue a pop, mainstream sound. she didn’t want angelina to be associated with the image that came with some musicians, so she did everything she could to maintain angelina’s pristine image

angelina agreed, only because it was better than not pursuing music at all. she started playing shows at small venues with only a handful of fans, but eventually, the world fell in love with her as a bubblegum pop princess. she maintained the sound for a few years before deciding she could not lie to herself and her fans for any longer

she left her record label, leaving her mother and fans disappointed. the only people who expressed their support were her brother and her friends

this is where she is at now career wise, about to comeback with her new look and sound. she has no idea how the public will take it, but when the article about the brat pack dropped, her image was hurt even more. most people and critics think her comeback will kill her career, but a select few look forward to her new music

personality

angelina tends to go with the flow. she doesn’t have a very assertive personality and tends to adapt to fit a group of people, or a location. she doesn’t have a sense of self

while she values her alone time and tends to be more guarded with her emotions, she loves to be around people. she spent most of her childhood alone, so now that she has a good group of friends, she appreciates any time spent with them

she is extremelyyyy reckless. she’s never faced any consequences for her actions, so it’s thrilling to her. even if she were to get caught, she wouldn’t really care. she’s always seeking the next thrill and tries to convince other people to do stupid shit with her as well

she is an aquarius sun gemini moon. having two air placements as some of her most dominant placements has left her flighty and non-committal in most relationships. it’s not that she’s closed off to the idea of falling in love, she just needs someone to keep her on her toes. she gets bored easily

it takes a lot to make her actually angry because she gets over things fairly quickly, but there is a few fire placements somewhere in her chart that can make her a bit feisty if she gets really upset. it’s pretty rare tho

not rly personality but she’s bisexual !!!

wanted connections

party buddies - this is pretty basic and self explanatory, but someone angel can go out and have fun with. their friendship is might be more surface level, or prob started that way, but it’s possible they’re closer friends (maybe angelina opened up one day when under the influence of something

ex-fling/gf/bf - angelina is more the non-committal type so it’s more likely for her to have an ex fling than an actual ex bf or gf, but it could still have been a serious un-labeled relationship, actual bf or gf, or just an ex fling. they could be on bad terms, good terms, still have feelings, not have feelings, u name it

unrequited crush -  ur character could have feelings for angel, but maybe she doesn’t feel them back or is unaware that they like her. this could develop into her eventually having feelings for ur muse or not, whatever we want! OR she could have a crush on someone who does not like her back. maybe they’re even more non-committal than she is, or they simply do not like her back. we could plot this out however

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension!!! they started out hating each other, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop however we want

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a close friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs

dynamic duo - could be her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and has actually managed to break down some of her walls

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they hate each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. i love a good enemies plot. they can just b nasty to each other!!! maybe they bring out a really bad side to angelina that most ppl dont see

safe haven - *mini drug tw*  i did not know how to label this so i apologize for the name. but i think it would b cool if someone helped her out during a bad night. she typically saves herself from situations that aren’t looking too hot, and one day she couldn’t but luckily ur muse was there to help. maybe she drank too much or did too many drugs or mixed the two and ended up rly bad. either way, i would love for someone to have helped her during a rough. she would probably feel really confused and guilty and like she owes them, and also extremely grateful. maybe ur muse can manipulate her bc of it and make her do things bc she owes them, or maybe they genuinely had good intentions. i would also b down for a plot about her helping someone else out of a sticky situation!!

bad influence - i would loveeee for her to be a bad influence on someone. someone she can corrupt in a way, or just lead down a bad path akshkjhd and get them to try new, and not-so-good, things

good influence - someone to be a good influence on her. someone who brings out the best in her and tries to steer her down a better path

partner in crime - someone who does crazy, illegal shit w her. someone who is always down for the next adventure n they have crazy memories together

childhood friends - someone who knew her when she grew up. they grew up together in the media, or maybe their friendship was set up by their parents. maybe they were just friends out of their own free will, but grew apart when they grew older. the possibilities are endless!!!

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Part 5: ~Let Them Find You~

Summary: You watch Crimson Peak with your best friend the night before the move, recieving a call before you get to bed.

Warnings: Light swearing, mention of smut from Crimson Peak, emotional talk.

Read it on my Wattpad: @/HiddlesStar

Word Count: 1'819

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr

Once you got back home, you spent the last 6 days streaming a bit more, making sure to pack up everything you needed bit by bit every day, packing the streaming equipment last of course. On the night before your flight, you invited your best friend over to watch Crimson Peak together, now that you finally have the time. Your friend had informed you that there apparently was a love scene between Tom and the actress from the live action Alice movies. Oh God. Was it graphic? You didn't ask. You wanted to see it for yourself.

Well-- Okay--

You didn't--

It's not that you WANTED to see it.

It's--It's a scene in the film--

J-Just watch the film.

As the movie went on, you talked with your friend every now again when it seemed like nothing too interesting was happening.

"So, you're all gonna be living in the same neighborhood?" Your friend asked you. "Yeah. It's all being rented out for a set." You replied. "It makes it easier to make it all look realistic. Like, it makes the set appear more natural, or so I'm guessing.." "You're gonna be neighbors with Tom Hiddleston. I swear to God.." Your friend ran their fingers through their hair. They were happy for you. "I know, I still haven't even processed it.." You gave a soft chuckle. "I have to be his love interest, oh my God..."

"You think there's gonna be a kissing scene?" Your friend asked. "Obviously. It's a romantic film." You replied. "I'm pretty sure there's gonna be more than one.." "Oh my God!" Your friend giggled. "You're gonna fuckin' kiss Tom Hiddleston!" "It's purely professional!" You stated, trying to hold back the urge to smile. "It's just acting.." "Your lips get to be on his! That's insane!"

"It's acting!"

"It's a kiss!"

You both started laughing a bit. You didn't want to admit how excited you were for the movie, for more reasons than one. You wanted to act professional about it, but your friend did have a point. While it was acting, it wasn't going to be a stunt double or anything. You'd really have to kiss Tom eventually. What if they make you do multiple takes? Sometimes simple scenes could be taken up to 10 times. Will you get to kiss him 10 times?

Shortly after that conversation was over, you continued to watch the movie with your best friend. Eventually, the love scene showed up. While your friend was a bit of a smiling and giggling mess, you watched with an interested expression. It wasn't lewd or sleazy. It was actually a pretty beautiful scene, especially knowing the context behind the scene. You had to cover your eyes slightly when his...'English Countryside' was shown, your friend just giggling even more.

"Oh my God!" They laughed. "That's actually his ass!" "Stoooppp.." You playfully spoke with a shy smile. "(Y/N), Look! He's got a pretty soft ass.." "Stooooooppppp!.." You giggled, finally able to look at the screen again after a moment, but the scene wasn't over.

"He kinda looks into it, eh?" Your friend smirked at you after calming down. "(BF/N), he's acting.." You gave a shy smile. "He looks into it because he's acting." Your friend clarified, making you give a bit of a shrug. "...Okay, he does look a little bit into it, actually.." You giggled slightly. He's a good actor.

Whenever a ghost or anything creepy would pop up, your friend would curl up and get all nervous, but it didn't bother you as much as you thought it would. The effects were pretty good, but it wasn't really scary. More so interesting.

By the end of the film, you were actually in tears. You didn't expect to get as emotional as you did. Once the film was done, your friend patted your back as you wiped your eyes.

"I didn't expect to cry.." You gave a little chuckle as you sniffled.

"Hit you hard, eh?" Your friend chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, I guess..." You chuckled back, blinking a bit to calm down. You definitely made a mental note to praise Tom's role in the film and the film itself. It was brilliant.

Your friend collected up atheir things once you turned off the TV, following them to the front door.

"Guess I won't be seein' you for a while, eh?" They asked you.

"I'm sure I can fly you down to visit the set eventually.." You smiled. You two would be apart for the first month or so. You'd miss hanging out, but you were still very excited to start your career.

You shared a warm hug before they gave a final little wave, closing the door as they left. You locked it and turned off the outside light, moving into your room to get ready for bed. You brushed your teeth and got into your pajamas, but before you'd get to lay down, your phone went off. You were getting a phone call.

You picked up your phone to check the Caller I.D.

It was Tom.

You immediately answered the call, of course.

"Hi.." You spoke in a soft tone, hearing a slight sigh from the other end before hearing his voice.

"Hi.." He spoke, his voice slightly raspy. Did he sound tired or sad? You weren't sure which.

"H-How are you?" You asked, quietly sitting down at the side of your bed. Another sigh left him.

"N-Not too good, if I'm being honest.." He admitted. "Been a bit of a rough night for me...wanted to talk to someone.."

Awe. You felt a little sad hearing that he wasn't in a good mood. He's always seemed like such a chipper man, as if their wasn't a single thing on this earth that could bring his positivity down.

"Who else have you called? Any family?" You asked curiously. You didn't mean to sound rude asking that. You were just curious.

"No, I called you first, actually.." Tom admitted. That immediately made you blush.

"M-Me?" You blinked, sitting up more.

"Yes, you.." He replied with a slight chuckle. You could practically hear his little smile grow. "I don't know, I just....wanted to hear your voice, I suppose.."

You felt your heart want to jump out of your chest. You had just listened to this man's voice in a movie, and now you're having a personal conversation with him. He's even using that natural charm of his. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing that. Either way, he's such a sweetheart.

"I hope that's alright." He spoke again.

"Y-Yeah! That's alright, I'm here.." You admitted with a little smile. He called you first? You almost didn't believe him, but it still warmed your heart.

"What's got you down?" You asked curiously, laying down somewhat with your upper torso still sitting up by leaning back against your pillows.

"I wouldn't say I'm down or sad.." Tom spoke. "More so...tired. Exhausted, even.."

"Exhausted?" You repeated.

"Mhmm.." He hummed. "It's a bit complicated to understand.."

"Try me.." You gave a slight confident smirk, even though he couldn't see it.

You got a little tired chuckle from him. His voice could sound pretty sexy sometimes.

"Ah, well...its just hard moving away from home over and over sometimes.." He admitted. "I had been on a couple dinner dates with a nice girl, but when I told her I'd have to be in America for the film, she didn't want to keep in touch.."

You gave a slight frown. You had heard Tom's public dating life was a bit of a mess, though you didn't believe it was his fault. The media tried to paint Tom as the bad guy, all because he's a man, but you could tell he wasn't like that.

"That's...shitty." You replied, earning another little chuckle from him.

"Yes. Very shitty, though I don't blame her.." He admitted. "Some people cannot handle being away from their partner for long periods of time.."

"Were you two actually together?" You asked.

"We weren't a couple, but I was nearly ready to ask her to go steady.." Tom admitted. That's how it's easy to tell that he's a sweetie. Go steady? That's an old fashioned term.

You loved it, of course. He's such a romantic. It's beautiful.

"You'll find a good girl for you someday, I'm sure." You spoke in an optimistic voice.

"I'm not sure the issue for me is finding a woman. It's keeping her close that I seem to struggle with.." Tom admitted with a slight sad sigh.

"Hey. Every man gets his leading lady.." You reassured with a warm smile.

"I know, I'm just...getting tired of searching, I guess." Tom admitted. "It's exhausting.."

"Then stop searching." You replied with a little shrug. "Maybe you don't need to be the one searching. Let the woman find you this time.."

You had hoped that was good advice. His silence became worrying, making you frown a little.

"...That makes a lot of sense, actually.." He admitted, his voice sounding softer. "Perhaps I'll take up that advice. Thank you.."

You could already hear that he was feeling a little better. That made you happy.

"Anytime." You spoke.

"You ready for tomorrow?"

"Oh definitely! The little neighborhood we get to live in is so quaint and small. I think it's perfect for the film." Tom approved.

"I agree!" You chirped. "You think we're gonna be neighbors?"

"We might." He replied in a positive tone. "I'm very excited to be working with you more."

"The feeling is definitely mutual.." You smiled to yourself. "I'll make sure to bring my best romantic side for the film.."

You got another chuckle from Tom. "Your best romantic side? Do you have multiple romantic sides?" Tom asked curiously. "Yep!" You chirped with a big smile.

"Ahh...perhaps I'd like to see every one of those sides one day.." He gave a little purr. You weren't sure what that meant, but you liked the sound of it. "Sounds pretty good to me.." You gave a slight chuckle, laying back more in bed.

"We've both got to get up rather early, so I guess I should goto sleep.." Tom spoke. You yourself hadn't realised how late it already was. You're not even gonna get 8 hours of sleep at this rate.

"But thank you for talking to me. I really will use that advice. You've really made me feel better."

"You're welcome.." You replied, giving a warmer smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Indeed you will.." Tom spoke in a happy, yet tired tone.

"Goodnight, (Y/N).."

"Goodnight, Tom.."

You both hung up.

You plugged in your phone and turned off all of the lights, looking at all of the suitcases you had waiting for you.

Tomorrow, your new life begins.

For now, get some rest. Tomorrow, you're Tom Hiddleston's leading lady.

[starrysence]

Almer headcanons

almer is the Good Shit. here we gO

warnings: mentions of abuse (some are kind of graphic?? maybe?) please please please be careful if these trigger you and you choose to read ahead anyway!

××× 

●so, its canon that albert has 2 older brothers

▪they do their jobs as siblings and tease these boys pre-dating. all the time. try to change my mind, you fucking cANNOT.

▪"i hope youll let me be your best man, al" - matt, the second oldest dasilva brother

▪"in your fucking dreams, MATTHEW. iT's GoNnA bE mE" -drew, the oldest dasilva brother

▪"if you guys argue about this one more time its gonna be race" -albert

●elmer deals with this times 4 bc he has 8 older siblings

▪his sisters especially????? they are ON HIS ASS ALMOST CONSTANTLY ABOUT ALBERT THE MOMENT THEY FIND OUT ABOUT HIS CRUSH

▪hes thankful that 3 of his siblings are either away at college/constantly busy with senior year shit bc thats 3 siblings less to tease him constantly

●so. albert rlly doesnt like talking about his biological parents bc of the way they treated him and his brothers (i wont go into graphic detail, but they were physically, emotionally, and mentally abused - especially albert bc he was the youngest so he didnt have an excuse to be away as often as his brothers did)

▪elmer finds out abt everything when he wakes up bc albert is crying in his sleep and whimpering and trembling even though he has the warmth of about 3 blankets and el's body heat

▪and thats the first time he realises albert has gone through so much shit and hes still coping

▪yall he refuses to go back to sleep until albert feels SAFE and COMFORTED

●al had a toxic relationship w/ this girl named lorie once

▪she would NOT let him talk to el or race or basically anyone else and she would constantly complain abt how he wasnt doing enough for her

▪it all put him in a really bad mental state

▪and hed break down about it and not be able to tell anyone and she would just complain abt how pathetic he was being and it just made him feel worse

▪he doesnt really like talking about that either 

▪fun fact,, that was his only relationship before he started dating elmer

●if albert and elmer ever have a pet......... its a chinchilla named blossom and you cant change my mind

▪also at some point they adopt the SWEETEST corgi husky mix pup named gizmo

▪race comes over. constantly. he practically lives there bc of blossom and gizmo

▪it earns them lots of complaints from spot (or davey or jojo or whoever you want honestly go wild)

▪"race go home your boyfriend wants you"

"my boyfriend always wants me ;)))"

"FUCK OFF"

●elmer love love LOVES kissing al's cheek or his jaw

▪he also likes kissing albert's shoulder when theyre in bed and albert has his back to him

▪it makes al melt. every time.

●al loves to kiss the top elmer's head or his neck 

▪not even necessarily to get elmer excited (but sometimes it for that)

▪he just finds it easy to bury his face in the crook of his bf's neck and just. smorch. u know??

●they dont get into heated makeout sessions very often imo?? theyre just. soft.

●elmer esp wants to take it slowly and carefully bc of everything albert's gone through

▪4 months into their relationship he realises albert hasnt said "i love you" once

▪decides not to push it tho. he gets it and wants al to take his time!!

▪few weeks later albert brings it up and starts rambling

▪"i know you probably want to break up with me because its so sad and pathetic. i mean its almost been five months and im not saying these words because im too fucking scared to say them even though i shouldnt be because theyre true and i really do love you, i love you so fucking much it scares me sometimes-"

▪elmer cant help but grin, "albert. albert. you said it."

▪"i said it? oh my god i said it." 

▪THESE BOYS ARE NEAR TEARS

▪"i love you. i love you so much"

▪"i love you, too, albert."

●ELMER IS A GIGGLY DRUNK

▪uhhhh al rarely ever drinks bc hes just scared he'll get addicted like his parents did 

▪he doesnt mind it if others drink tho. he just doesnt want to do it all that often

▪he has to admit, though, that when his boyfriend drinks, things get kind of wild

▪by wild i mean elmer is LITERALLY giggling about everything everyone says

▪"what the fuck??"

▪elmer, through giggles: "dont say that word. thats a baaaad worrrrddddd"

▪albert could literally say "hello" and he'd burst out laughing

▪so nobody lets race near elmer when hes drunk bc one time racer’s jokes made el laugh so hard he passed out

▪albert never stops teasing elmer about it and elmer hates it but at least it gives him a good excuse to kiss his boyfriend

▪that excuse is shutting him the FUCK up

×××

alrighty thats all i got for tonight bc its 11:58pm and i should be asleep. but its diWALI AND I AINT SLEEPIN UNTIL ITS OFFICIALLY OVER (aka til any point after 2 minutes from right now). sorry this took so long, anon. hope you like!!

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete--donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

[aratanaruu]

wow I finished episode prompto and I have a lot of Feels

first things first, all the songs in episode prompto are a goddamned BANGER like I could not stop dancing along to all the songs. I love how fitting the trance-ish (or is it techno?) music is-- computer-generated music / sounds for an MT :>

(I’m going to be rambling about the scenes below and it’s all based on memory. I have a terrible memory)

hOLY SHIT his episode starts off strong. Gotta love how, when babey Prompto is talking about how he wishes he could belong and make friends, they put Ignis and Gladio there on-screen too. Prompto’s friendship with Noct is always emphasized and yeah, that’s his role, the prince’s bf(f), but Ignis! and! gladio! love! prompto! too!

and i almost yelled when Ardyn welcomed Prompto back “home” just hnnnghhgh the constant lines about home and family really rubbed in how Prompto’s never had either. His family in Insomnia were neglectful and his “family” in Niflheim consisted of a megalomaniac scientist who turned into a worm.

prom’s feelings were so,,, delicate and unlike episode gladio, we were able to actually see and hear what Prompto was thinking. we saw how much he hated himself and we see his thought process go from “what the fuck’s going on what am I” to “holy SHIT I’m an MT”

and AKHSGKSH his voice when he goes “I can’t take this anymore” OH MY GOD THE VOICE ACTING IN EPISODE PROM IS SO GODLIKE prom sounded so hopeless and sad and somebody get this boy some Milk like his sCREAM when he shot Vers was amazing and horrifying and i may have screamed along with him

Oh!! another one of my fav scenes was when he fucking shot the MT. oh boy I was terrified that the game was going to make me choose between shooting it or not or giving me a button prompt to fire the gun. it didn’t, but I don’t think that made it any better and I love how empathetic Prompto is and he’s crying when he does it but he still does and asAHKSGSHH I HAVE FEELINGS this boy has a BIG HEART

aranea was also the perfect person to work with Prom. She has that no nonsense, fuck this shit attitude that Prompto needed. She had to kick some sense into him and make him realize that he deserved to have something too and he deserved to want things and

my fav part is definitely when prompto tried to burn his barcode like. He started scratching on it and when he grabbed the burning log I just--

me: oh haha they’ll never actually show prompto hurting himself like that, it could be too graphic me: but also i love seeing Pain so lemme choose “burn it” :) prompto: actually burns himself me: hOLY FUFKCING SHIT

like WOW before I noticed a lot of people spoke about Prom self-harming and shit like that and I loved that interpretation of him but those fics where Prom hurts himself and shit like that makes. a lot more sense now. oh lord.

and also somebody pointed out that in that scene, the player was given two options. “Burn [the barcode]” or “Give up.” Not “Burn it” and “Not burn it” but give up.

hOLY SHIT square i might just forgive you for fucking up gladio’s character writing for being able to so accurately portray self harm and prompto’s insecurities and hatred and fears and holyy shit episode prompto kicked my ass and left me in an alleyway to rot

[nihilena]

Little life update~

Jason bought us a new bed...

Finally, this big bitch isn’t in a twin w/her bf anymore!!!!

Also. We basically live together. Until he is able to find work we basically stay together unless I’m at work, haha. I stay at his place when I have large clumps of work days bc he’s 5 minutes away from my new job. (Oh yeah! I got promoted. It’s an hour away from home & 5 minutes from Jason’s. Convenient, right? Ha) He usually comes with me back to my house with me when I wanna go see my dogs and stuff unless we’ve made separate plans with our buddies.

Life is good. It’s weird. Everything kind of feels like it changed all at once. I’m working full-time but being honest, I definitely just treated myself the whole time for the last two paychecks and haven’t put *any* money away, but I have been rly easily able to pay my bills and my student loans that just started being actively needed to be paid! Boyfriend and I have been in a real money struggle the first three months of our relationship, so it’s been nice to be able to be a little bit more extravagant with each other now that we both have a little money. (I won’t detail his situation bc privacy~)

Also I haven’t been on tumblr not bc I have been working so much, no... I’ve just been playing a stupid game called Game of Sultans that had been advertised to me on tumblr for so long, lol. It looks like a dating/harem sim in the ads but it’s actually an empire/war game. I’ve been playing it for two months now and I love it lol. Plus, Jason is the first person I’ve dated who actually has followed through on the threat to make me watch movies. And anime.

Speaking of anime, I’m a full on weeb now

I didn’t used to really watch anime. I had seen bits and pieces of the classics when I was younger & was friends with a lot of kids who were into anime, but I dropped it as soon as I wasn’t friends with them. I love culture, tho, and I have always been fascinated with Japanese culture & in love with Japanese food... I went to Japan ffs.

And now I’ve already watched through a few series.

Jason says I’m “next-level” weeb tho, bc I prefer to watch anime subbed. I respect the rly good English dubs!!! I just.. idk. I like watching it in the author’s tongue!

He, and everyone else in my new store, want me to watch My Hero Academia. I’ve resisted so far. I think I’ll give in if Jason doesn’t bitch about me watching it subbed.

I’m getting back into graphic novels, too! I read the first compilation book of Saga and fell in love.

I’ve really been pursuing my passions now that I have time outside of work! It’s so nice not to be in school anymore.

I’m terrible at responding sometimes but if any of my mutuals ever want to share contact info off tumblr just message me!! <33

[jadecringecomp]

jade, of course, is still trying to deflect rather than own up to anything at all. im too lazy for screenshots so youre going to have to deal with text for this one. you can see their post here though. and if receipts are needed they are most likely on the callout blog or you can come to me if you cant find them.

“uses their own dead grandma as leverage out of nowhere literally months after the original argument”

jade are you really that braindead. like youre still just proving my previous point. youre still practically shitting on me for it. i gave a reason as to why that night was so traumatic for me because you keep trying to make it seem “like it wasnt that bad” by your own words!

also like uh, jade. you yourself have used your aunt having cancer as a reason to just... excuse every single action youve done. so again, take that and choke.

“abuses their own bf/ex but its fine because he abused her first lolololol!!!”

jade i... honestly have no words. youre still defending a pedophile, and you even admit he abused me. like, yes, i cheated on him. but how does the fact he is a pedophilic abuser not process through your head. why are you so set on defending that. a genuine question.

“flips back and forth on whether they were actually abused or not whenever it benefits her“

theres... nowhere that even says that in the link you posted. are you posting that to still try and imply i lied about the abuse you inflicted upon me or...?

“refriends their own ‘abuser’”

ok well one jade, you still have no actual proof ive befriended broden at all. all you have is a like on a fucking post. really how braindead is it possible to be at this point.

and regarding bailey, i never called her my abuser. you were the one to do that. you said she abused me after i showed you screenshots of what went down between us. and whats worse after i even came to you and showed you the screenshots and you got involved with that mess?? you still wanna try and say what happened was fake. like you wanna call me two-faced, yet youre so quick to change your mind once you realize that person doesnt benefit you anymore. 

also! for someone whos a survivor of abuse, you sure as hell dont realize a common thing between us survivors is literally going back to those who’ve hurt them right?? like you keep bringing this up as if im fucking lying about the whole thing when im not since again, i came to you while we were friends with the proof. i can even post them if need be. and honestly it doesnt even fucking matter anymore ive broken contact with her after shortly realizing my mistake.

“denies other ppls abuse just because they doesnt like them and a few vent discord messages means they knows literally everything abt it“

i can admit to saying i denied your abuse because there is actual proof that you werent abused two years ago, not because i dont like you. do you really just think nobody will believe proof right in front of them jade??? do you think youre some perfect princess who can do no wrong???? like jade the proof is right @deeancie, @estweri, @honeykeis-callout, and even here. you really expect me to just not believe it if i didnt hate you. you honestly need some real fucking help if thats the case jade.

and really like. if you say your bf clams up when you go to him... what else am i supposed to believe. sure i can be wrong, but reading that shit can really make you wonder what is going on between you two. and jade you wanna say that like you yourself dont do that shit. remember all the times you read vague text posts and would go on a tangent as if you knew every little thing about what was going on in my life. yeah kinda what i thought.

“says grooming minors is talking to people One time“

i love how you fail to leave out the fact that these people were minors and that youre practically defending loli. so if youre still talking to these minors and since youre still defending loli, then yes youre grooming minors into thinking loli is ok.

“straight up let a minor into their porn server on discord (they can go as rabid about this as they want but they still straight up showed an actual minor graphic porn but IM a pedophile bc i rb anime sometimes lmfao)”

again its been resolved. like ive acknowledged it was wrong of me to do and ive changed it. and how can you say you just rb anime sometimes when. you literally are reblogging this kind of fuckshit. like do you not remember reblogging that obviously naked child in a collar or what. the difference is i realized my wrong and changed it while youre still rbing actual loli.

“lied about the relationship (the one where they abused each other and she cheated on him with her other abuser???) having elements of pedophilia because they lied about her age”

this is so... ive told you i forgot. the ages. i was literally an age off for the both of us. like what else do you want me to do about this.

“has sketchy as fuck ocs, including one thats physically ten who would force their adult self insert to be naked around them and also drew them being physically beaten“

while the first was true (but i dont have that oc anymore), where in the fuck did i draw them being physically beaten lole??? are you pulling this out of your ass to deflect you yourself rbing beaten children????

and i swear to god if you bring up this comic, im going to scream.

“is a stalker and an abuser. by their own logic“

ok like. a couple of things to this. jade when are you going to get it through your thick skull i didnt give a shit if you were lurking or not, it was the fact you would comment on my every move. which is stalking by the way and incredibly creepy like get a life!

and an abuser “by my own logic”. the link you shared, again, doesnt show that anywhere. also with how badly of a hypocrite you are, thats you. you told me it was abusive to call people delusional. you started doing that once i realized my wrong and stopped. you told me it was abusive. you told me making people relapse was abusive. yet once i relapse you still didnt give a shit and somehow that makes you in the clear (though i still dont give a shit we both literally did that to ourselves the point is youre an abuser too to your own logic). you said trying to gaslight people is abusive (which it is). look at the stacks of proof i have of you gaslighting me. like i could go on but all the proof if here on this blog.

“oh and dont forget they foamed at the mouth that i didnt instantly know when they changed their pronouns but has been proven to have Actually knowingly misgendered me for weeks“

jade the fact you were lurking should make it fucking obvious you should have known my pronouns. and for weeks?? jade i misgendered you in your callout, which i immediately changed once pointed out. will you please stop lying to make yourself look victim and just tell the truth for once in your life.

“also apparently i can call them rae and its not deadnaming because its not their birthname so“

oh my god youre literally fucking braindead it hurts to watch at this point. no rae isnt my deadname. but i do prefer not going my that. the whole point of that was that you tried screaming transphobia because someone called you by a previous name you went by. you fucking dumbass.

“claims to have bpd but doesnt even know what cluster b is holy shit!!!“

what do i even say to this jade?? what does the fact i didnt know what that was at first matter to me having bpd??? also are you just gonna shrug off the fact that you first claimed you got misdiagnosed with autsim, then suddenly you do? you claimed to have bipolar disorder, then later you suddenly decide you have bpd??? kind of sketchy if you ask me!

“tries to send anons under my name but forgot that their friend levi doesnt even have me blocked so why the fuck would i go on anon if i would ‘sign’ it anyway hm“

a....... are you implying i was the one to send those....? is it because you realized once you did so it backfired?? jade for someone who wanted to claim i was the one making up conspiracies, you sure make up a lot of them.

in conclusion: jade you still are just deflecting! you still havent defended any of the shit me or my friends have called you out for! the fact you still havent admitted to them or so much as even defended the claims sure does speak a lot! stop deflecting and lying and just fucking come out about it!