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I want to hold my f/o, I want to hug my f/o, I want to scream into the void about how much I adore my f/o, and I want to show my f/o how much they mean to me, I want to protect my f/o at all costs, I want to giggle because of my f/o, and I want to show my f/o the love they deserve.
#FUN FACT I AM YEARNING EVERYONE DONT MIND ME#I really need to make more posts about this kind of thing where I show who I am#I need to left the internal urge to go silly about my f/o free from my soul cage#anywho I love this blog I love my followers I love my f/os and I love it here right now and always actually#f/o community#f/o positivity#f/o x s/i#self ship#fictional other#comfort character
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something particularly embarrassing about blorbo tagging a text post lol yeah im thinking about him always. He’s constantly in my thoughts.yeah this post about watching the olympics or going to work reminds me of him sorry. this post has 10k notes and the op is probably sick to death of notifications but here’s one more notification with a blorbo tag sorry
#i think what i need is a new blog where no one follows me (i block everyone who tries to follow me) and become true freak there alone#without being perceived#because there are suddenly hundreds of followers here and now im scared#I mean I won’t do that because its too much work so unfortunately I am going to continue being a freak right here#but still……#she calls me (blank empty blog)
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"likes don't do anything" they do
"there's no algorithm" there is
"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do
"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.
#if I make art of my ocs who I'm personally fond of and spent a few days drawing just right and it gets 3 reblogs then it gets 3 reblogs#it's rational to feel a little disappointed sure. but I can't do anything about that. it's just luck#and I got Very lucky accumulating a few thousand followers on my main-turned-art-only blog off the back of when m.oomin was very popular#(tho realistically many of those users are probably inactive/passive followers now)#and having this number of people tuned into my posts Still only gets me a couple dozen notes on original stuff.#every 3 years or so something might blow up. like that bugs bunny comic lol. and I did Not expect it to#especially bc it happened about a year after I shared it as well.#it can happen any time. so don't feel discouraged when your art doesn't get noticed right away#the one advantage this website has is that there's far less of a fomo culture compared to other socials where trends come and go in a week#and people will still interact with older posts. especially bc it's easier to find what you want through the tagging system. sort of.#there's really no way to predict this or aim for large engagement! oh unless you're specifically catering to the current hot topic#like d.unmeshi is wiiiildly popular right now. I've seen comics get 5-digit notes in under 48 hours 'cause more eyes are on it.#but if it's not something you personally like and you're only creating things for the attention then you're gonna be unhappy#and people will inevitably move on.#I'd much rather swing my art back around every few months or so until it finds someone it resonates with#than make people who were never planning to engage with it feel bad for no reason
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I’m never playing kitty cards with that purple haired motherfucker ever again
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#I knew chapter 8 was gonna end with me being unhappy but goddamnit#zayne is gonna be PISSED#this post is gonna make no sense to anyone who follows this blog#sorry my beloved mutuals I’m going through it right now
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had a really funny idea for an ask blog ft. Vanny and another plex employee oc,,
#Get this right. 2 pizzaplex employees accidentally get tumblr famous bc someone has been leaving weird graffiti everywhere and#Getting up to other shenanigans and sends asks abt it to this one like urban exploration blog. Who later gets an ask basically like#Hey I work at the plex?? This is some insider info only another employee would know????#The two anons are constantly back and forth in this persons inbox and are eventually assigned nicknames#‘Pix’ for the mystery vandalism employee because she shows up as nothing but weird pixels and glitches on cameras#The other employee is ‘Cam’ because they have been monitoring all this on the cameras#One day they get each others blogs and keep sending each other death threats and shit jokingly but one day pix warns cam not to go to a#Weird late staff meeting#The next night it is literally just the two of them and they think this is so funny they start a blog trying to uncover why everyone else#Just isn’t coming in. At first they are like well layoffs duhhhh#But then ppl send asks and messages like ‘hey have u seen this employee it’s my brother/friend/etc’ and they realize shit is actually going#On in here#One night cam is live-blogging their shift and sees a weird intruder in a costume with a knife and runs around eventually escaping and find#Pix lying at the bottom of a stairwell unconscious with a bloody nose later#Takes pix to the hospital. Only to be alone in the plex the next night and suddenly get a phone call saying that pix left the hospital. Bc#Pix left cam as the emergency contact because ‘she didn’t have anyone else’.#Cam has to survive the masked intruder#eventually starts recording everything but when the intruder gets closer the footage gets glitchier#Eventually there’s just one fuzzy image of the intruder with Roxy and Monty standing on either side and that’s the last we hear of cam. Nex#Post is pix saying hehe thanks for following our little story aha !! Bye now it’s over!! And that’s it…..heheheheh#Killer rab blog has become a little boring for me so… might start this soon….#I’d have to make like 2 blogs plus some fake dms too probably . Damn
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Hey y'all! Weird question time again, this time martial arts related:
If you ever took a martial arts class that included sparring, did they teach you how to fall and how to throw a punch (like physically how to hold your hand and wrist as you punch so you don't hurt yourself)
Because it occurs to me that the classes I took never went over that? And like, I didn't really need them to, my mom used to teach kickboxing and taught me to throw a punch correctly when I was a very little kid, but it's weird that it never came up, right? My mom and I took the classes together, and a few times we brought a friend of mine and they did not teach her how to throw a punch either and she was a total beginner
#the person behind the yarn#violence mention#not really violence just a question about martial arts classes#but I know my blog is mostly stuffed animals and quilts and stuff#and some of my followers want to avoid even that level of mention of it#I don't talk about it much because I can barely do it now#but I really really enjoyed sparring and I was pretty darn good at it for my size#I mean at the time I was like still not fully grown and most of the people I sparred with could have tossed me across the room easily#so good at it for my size is very much not the same thing as good at it#but it was fun! I wish I could still do it! sparring and swing dancing both#someday maybe I will do them again but in the mean time: it's weird that they didn't go over the basics right???
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I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.
#personal#tumblr stuff#vent post#spam bots#i've been getting like 1000 spam bot followers a day for the last few days and blocking them all is getting--dare i say--TEDIOUS#wake up. block 300 bots. go to work. come home and block 500 more bots. spend evening checking tumblr to block bots. it's becoming a chore#it's starting to feel like I offended the tumblr gods or something. this is ridiculous. but like hell will i let them win#i won't let my follower count be 50% bots. i feel like a deserve a tumblr badge or something for fending off so many bots.#tribble#the trouble with tribbles#a very apt metaphor i think for these bloody spam bots; block one and five more come to take its place#but upside: the spam bots are helping me compile a Rosetta Stone for the word 'Untitled'. woo#also if you just joined tumblr and want to follow me: for the love of god personalise your bloody blog#i don't care if you have a icon or a summary. if your blog and likes are empty i'm blocking you#because i don't trust empty blogs and i really don't have the time to sort out who's real or not right now#(though if the blog's offering free mp3s 'just click the link!' or is advertising US keto gold coast gummies i know for sure it ain't real)#but hey! good news to people who followed me in the last four days who haven't been blocked; you passed the blog captcha test#anyway just had to get this frustration out of my system; gonna go block some more bots now i guess. i'll be very happy when this stops
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Me: I'm not sure this is a real person.
The blogger: Immediately assumes that means I'm accusing them of being a Russian or Chinese disinformation spy and makes multiple posts about how this is fascist rhetoric.
#i never said russian or chinese or even bot!#i know i shouldn't be so bothered by this but i am#it's like a cartoonish parody the right wing would make about what liberals are supposedly like#throwing the word fascist around like it's confetti- that's alongside words like snowflake and 'I identify as' as a big right wing joke#but the thing is that accusing everyone who sees things slightly differently that you a fascist is incredibly bleak#and i never said this person is a russian or chinese bot but now i am saying that they are a blog that only exists to sew division#i can't imagine anyone following that blog as they post anything anyone says about them immediately- your timeline would be ruined#i should go to bed. i'm too soft for tumblr i think.#i need to become an ex-internet person urgently :(
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still having thoughts abt bein kissed......augh........heavy and rushed and desperate but still meaningful, hands reaching everywhere they can go and heavy breathing and bright red faces and sakjfhskjdf i want to need a guy so much that i cant think about anything else. yknow.
!!! SFW !!! NSFW ACCOUNTS PLS LET ME LIVE IN PEACE !!!
#sorry if this doesnt make sense im insane in the head#do u get it do u follow what im trying to say pls i know im justjskahdfkjdsh i have too many thoughts tonight what is happening to me#i need a guys hands and lips on me wherever he wants. right now. fuckin CHRIST#i am going to explode everything. i need this. i neeeeed this.#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#mlm thoughts#trans mlm#t4t#mlm blog#t4t yearning#sfw#mlm sfw
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I keep forgetting I am mutuals with cool people. Jumpscare every time I see cool person in my activity jkdfjkfkjsfdfsd
POINTING. ME TOO THOUGH
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Shin Sōkoku - BSD Chapter 105: In the Closeted Room
#FINALLY had time to make this#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd ch 105#bsd edit#my edit#mine#I know it's not going to show in the tags but this is my bsd blog!! And I've looked forward so much to the day I'd finally be able to–#read a new sskk scene with my eyes!!!! So long I tell you!!!!!#I dreamed so often the moment I would make my first sskk edit!!!!!!! I won't post it on any secondary blog I need this on *my* blog!!!!!!!!#That is to say. This is between me and you followers (╥﹏╥)#Technical considerations now redrawing Akutagawa's coat was something... Not for the coat itself but because I'm not used to solid black–#stuff with white lineart so like. I made the lineart normally black thinking I'd just invert colors later right?#Wrong I ended up with 40 layers and no idea of what was were also because I can't see a white lineart akdnfvejdndvwkdvej#Something something going out of your comfort zone is fun but also it took me around thirty minutes to make the lineart–#and then little to four hours just to fill it/make the adjustments/basically figure out what was where in the sea of layers and white lines
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after an episode this morning post breakfast that almost had me going to the hospital again, i am now recording these things in the little bear diary my friend sent me from pittsburgh lol
#jrnlsht#I lost so many followers over this im really sorry but this is a personal blog before anything else :(#and i have actually been using my entries here to figure out what the episodes have looked like in the past couple of weeks#it has definitely gotten worse#i tried going for a walk today and that was exhausting in ways i have not experienced before#its like my brain is on a single track right now#if i want to be doing anything i need to be lying down otherwise i cant focus#if i am walking the only thing i can focus on is walking#the good news is though that im hungry again
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,,, little lemmings in line...
#adamandi#needed this. idk. shameless fluff. i. sjdhdjfhfhfhfhf viewing this doodle just makes me happy ok#something silly. i feel like lately i've been a lot more earnest on this blog and it's nice!!#the imagery that the lyrics evoke.... goes so hard actually. consider this maybe an outtake of the last 'where can i run' thingy#yes i get the whole lemmings off a cliff thing but also i think taking it at face value would be cute therefore this#since basically they refer to the rest of the students as lemmings.. he's human in this one i guess.#quincent thoughts. many many. but also i have been maybe avoiding engaging with quincy on a more intense level? until i am in a better#mental state to do so. because the whole academic perfection and self harm is a Thing i would like to engage with Properly without spirals#yay on me for being healthy about media! not normal and never normal. but healthy is good i guess#... hm. family is being iffy lately because you're supposed to have good acads And not stressed but i refuse to feel guilty anymore.#after this period i'll go bonkers over him and in the meantime unfortunately they won't feature as much in the content.. :<#anyways. fun fact about lemmings is that it's not necessarily a derogatory blindly leaping to deaths thing when it comes to the actual ones#like that's the phrasing and connotation right. but apparently it's more of they leap off cliff into water below or smth to migrate and onl#the rare few die (skill issue??um) and apparently the whole association was propagated by some documentary wildlife drama thing that kind o#.... hastened the chasing of the poor things off the cliff and filmed it. a bit messed up. and like i guess what a nice metaphor for the#academic context here? or a different one at least. where only a few die so they keep doing it but also for the Average lemming following#following the system is not inherently bad.. maybe i'm projecting.#anyways peep the tiny character shorthands now.. ambrose has the jacket/ bea has the hat and gloves with strings: portia has the bow on hea#quincy has the bowtie and glasses /(beatrix also has glasses. i forgot about those until i was drawing quincy's.)#'avvy why are they standing up' you ask? because four legs looked weird with ambrose's jacket. 'why did you give lemmings glasses?' ummmmm#i guess recognisability? don't look too much into it#outtakes of this include vincent standing in a circle of lemmings. it's badly drawn and frankly hilarious because they're all tiny and#below the knee.#'avvy these don't look like realistic lemmings' you are very right. i am sorry. i looked for a crowd of lemmings on google images and all i#found were political cartoons... i Can draw animals technically i swear#anyways! emotional support adamandi doodle out. going to start work now!#oh i forgot to tag the characters... hm... i guess i'll leave out the lemmings..#?#vincent aurelius lin#.
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#no but i actually hate that i made this blog to vent freely bc i have no other place to talk abt anything or my feelings or thoughts#and im a very isolated person and a shut in and i dont have a job or go to school successfully and i dont know anyone#like blah blah. i have struggled and im drowning in them all. like why the fuck cant ppl just comprehend that we all have different views o#life and the world? like 'wallowing' is .. i have heavy anxiety which is completely untreated and it gives me real bad suicidal ideation#if me complaining on a blog that im btw not forcing anyone to read helps me to stay alive and get my pain out... why does that matter to#other ppl?????? like why does other ppl get so mad seeing someone they dont know vent??#also this goes for everyone but u can literally have no idea abt all of a person's life#esp on here where all u see is like my text posts where i vent abt how i FEEL. bc i want to. ??? i want to do that so i do#u dont know the context u dont know my experiences or what has happened in my life or context#u dont know what has transpired between me and other ppl i vent abt#like u know fuck all. u dont have the right to pass judgement onto a stranger that doesnt even know u exist#and even if i complain on here bc i dont have a real life but i want to#u have no idea what im doing with the rest of my time???? im making lists im trying to look up info abt school and programs#im trying to read abt my mental health issues and im doing mindfulness and im going to the gym#i am trying!!! and u dont have any idea what i do or how i try and u dont have any right to judge me bc all u see is one part that is me#complaining bc this is what i use this blog for. genuinely i do not get why this is even a big deal or why anyone would follow or read smth#makes them irritated???????#idk.. i dont wanna disable anons and stuff (bc funnily enough no one ever says this stuff with their url 🤨) bc i dont wanna miss out on the#stuff but it is infuriating that i have nowhere to go no friends no therapist etc etc to talk#and this is all i have bc i want to vent !!!!!!! and then i have to be like ok now other ppl i dont even know#and who dont actually give a fuck abt me are gonna judge me and tell me im living incorrectly#and ive never gotten more such things than now? why do y'all hate that i vent abt losing out on my 1st love#and feeling heartbroken?????? what the fuck? that has nothing to do with anyone else but me? like genuinely wtf#i just wanna vent bc i feel like im drowning but now i feel like i cant bc ppl just judge and like ugh
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my half of an art trade with @subsequentibis !! I drew his OC Cam, who im totally normal about!!
#as always. im weak for a large man in uniform....#EVERYONE SHOULD GO CHECK OUT IBIS' BLOG AND LOOK AT THEIR ART NOW!!!!#their ocs are sooo cool and you want to go look at them sooo bad!!#and he drew Tom Ask which i'll reblog on my main (which you should also follow cough)#and its soooo good!! and you want to reblog both of them sooo bad right now
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I hate it when I have Ideas™ because then I have to figure out how to execute those Ideas™ and it becomes a whole big thing and I'm super drained but my Ideas™ are the only thing sparking any excitement in me right now.
So I guess I'm going to have to start experimenting with ReShades again because it's part of my Ideas™ (Is this getting old yet? Too damn bad, I'm not gonna stop doing it). It's just...you know...I have no idea what I'm doing.
#ramblings#just simblr things#also i am not dropping rogue town no matter what because it's my baby#but life is really really really scary and challenging right now#and i kinda need to do something else for a bit#it's not going anywhere#but updates are going to continue to be sporadic#i'm really not doing well right now#but i am still trying to be a halfway decent simblr#because i love this community#and i love this game#and it's pretty much the only outlet i have#ok that's all#sorry if that got too real there#it is what it is#also hey new followers#sorry about all this#*gestures to entire blog*
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