#[it's also bedtime though..]

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Books of 2024: WELCOME TO YOUR WORLD: How the Built Environment Shapes Our Lives by Sarah Williams Goldhagen.

[applestorms]

ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.

the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.

notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.

take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.

(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)

point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.

which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.

as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.

this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.

do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).

misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.

to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.

that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.

anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.

[23fallencomets]

FOP Go Camping!

ya girl knows a thing or two about camping and hiking so enjoy! this is from @dozyisdead’s prompt which was just FOP (among other things but i miss FOP) and i couldn’t agree more. also im from california so the boys are in Sequoia National Park :)

“This is dumb.”

“You’re dumb.” Fred mumbles, swatting Logan with one hand as he tries to mess with the music. Logan grumbles, crossing his arms as he flops back onto his seat.

“Local Florida man would rather get stranded in the Atlantic than sleep for three nights in California’s national forests, more at 12.” Oscar says, a little too awake for someone who only slept three hours over the last two days.

To be fair, Oscar has driven the first three hours out of Nevada after Fred had fallen down a rabbit hole of things one can do at Sequoia National Park a few days ago. Since there was a few weeks in between their next schedule, they got everything they needed for a spontaneous camping trip.

They had shoved everything in the little Civic they had rented once they got everything and hit the road at eight in the morning. The GPS said they would get to the camping ground—which Fred had miraculously found an opening for—by two in the afternoon, maybe three if they were lucky.

Oscar had knocked out the second Fred had gotten behind the wheel, curled up with his hoodie over his head. They were supposed to switch off in thirty minutes but traffic was still flowing and the nearest exit was still a few minutes away.

“Why are you even awake?” Logan asks, angling his body to look at Oscar. He still looks sleepy, eyes half lidded and heavy eye bags under said eyes. Oscar shrugs, fighting with the seatbelt as he tries to sit up.

“How far are we?” Oscar asks, squinting at the GPS. The 3hrs seems a little horrifying as he sits back, blinking hard as Logan hands him a little container of food and a cool Gatorade.

He eats the fruit as Fred and Logan continue to bicker over the music, the cadence of their voices overlapping each other almost soothingly as he tries to not fall asleep again.

Eventually they switch off and Logan drives a little faster than necessary, but they get there alive, pay the camping fare and get directed to their campsite.

It’s quite gorgeous, tall trees with red bark spiraling upwards until Oscar has to tilt his head all the way back just to see the tops of tree. He feels a little out of place, like if it’s a privilege he’s seeing any of this.

Between the three of them they set up their campsite, putting all their food in their designated bear-proof containers and tackle the four person tent. None of them know how to set it up and it takes them longer than necessary to finally put it all together.

Fred gets snappy around the four hour mark so Logan forces him to sit down on the a tree stump and eat a sandwich while they inflated the air mattress. The tent was surprisingly pretty big from the inside and the two mattresses fit easily.

After that it’s just arranging a few things before they can get started on an early dinner. While Logan and Oscar had been organizing the tent—and Fred had recovered from being hangry—he had started on a small campfire within the designated fire pit.

Some local in the market that had found on their way out of Nevada had recommended some meat that they can cook over the fire and how much they would need for three guys on a three day-two night camping trip. Along with that they had bought stuff for s’mores because Oscar and Fred clearly did not understand the inherent importance of s’mores mad over a fire pit.

“There’s this rock, Moro Rock and it’s 350 steps to the top.” Fred says while they make dinner, “It’s not that far from here, probably like twenty-thirty minutes.”

Logan nods, “There’s some sick trails,” He says holding up the map, “The dudes a few campsites over recommended the Meadow trail.”

With a formed plan, they finish cooking and eating before figuring out their sleeping arrangements. In the end, Logan and Oscar share one of the air mattresses while Fred sleeps on the other. They had bought thick blankets as they (read: Oscar) had the foresight to check the weather and it was supposed to be pretty icy at night.

When Logan and Oscar wake up, they find Fred tucked up against Oscar, the cold clearly having gotten to him. It takes a while for all of them to get up, the cold making them want to lay in bed a bit longer.

They revive the fire and make a quick breakfast before changing into the proper attire for hiking. They did buy hiking boots but the weather was supposed to heat up later in the day so it was shorts, a long sleeve, a backpack with snacks and water bottles, and a light sweater.

Oscar is reading fun facts throughout the drive to the actual park and Logan forks over the $35 day fee.

The rock itself is impressive but Oscar looks at the steps apprehensively. They curl around the formation of the mountain, a single chain separating the upward and downward traffic and keeping hikers within the steps.

They get halfway up before Logan starts regretting his decision, his calves and thighs burning with each step. Fred is barley ahead of him and clearly having the time of his life as Oscar grumbles behind him. The view is gorgeous, snow capped mountains visible even from where they were. The air is slowly warming up the longer they go and by the time they reach the top, Logan is tempted to throttle an exhilarated Fred.

The three crowd around one of the information boards, reading about the Sierra Nevada and the Great Western Divide.

“I’m never trusting you again.” Logan mutters, his breathing heavy as he leans against Fred. The air is obviously thinner here due to the elevation and Logan is almost itching to go back down. It had taken a little over an hour and a half to climb and he knows it’ll be quicker on their way down.

“Enjoy the moment, you dick.” Oscar says, poking Logan’s side causing him to jerk. Fred giggles, taking a photo of the scenery, smile soft as he leans into Logan. He can’t help the heavy breath, the slight tremble in his legs as he lets himself relax. It’s still early enough that there’s not that many people, allowing them to enjoy each others presence.

It is grounding, seeing the expanse of forest ahead of them. It makes Logan feel better, a bit more at ease as Fred takes a picture of all three of them, sweaty and properly flushed before clapping his hand.

“This is going to be fun.”

And it was.

[kumakuma-circus]

i love early game p4.

[sunb0ts]

missing trucy wright.....

[lexcat-11]

WoahHHh sentimental post on tumblr woahhhhh

Every new release or anniversary of Deltarune (or Undertale) stuff ends up acting like a marker to see how much has changed in my life since the previous.

I was barely in middle school when I first watched an UnderTale play through, I still had my childhood home, the days of the pre-divorce era were ongoing 😬😬😬. Deltarune came out right before I moved and now suddenly I’m halfway through college watching chapter 4. It’s insane just thinking about how long undertale especially has been in my life, even just through its music.

I still love the soundtrack as much as I did back then <3

[in-tua-deep]

had a funky asgardian dream last night lol

the premise was that loki fucked around and basically an amnesiac version of loki ended up back in time with so many holes in his memory but enough knowledge to be like "odin is my dad"

and odin looked at this kid and was like "aw he looks like hela, this tracks" and, importantly, does not know that loki is a frost giant and just assumes loki is his full blood kid lol

all that to say that loki and thor grow up with big brother!loki who is actually?? a good big brother?

rather than hide hela's existence, older loki makes odin nostalgic and he ends up telling them that hela is their big sister who was "lost to the war" or some bullshit, which most people assume to mean she died in the war, right?

older loki sees like, one picture of her, notes the similarities, and then for some weird reason feels profoundly uncomfortable so he decides not to unpack all that and just avoids mention of her lol. kid thor doesn't really care that much about her bc she's not in their lives so why should he? kid loki LOVES learning about her and actively seeks info about her out, mostly because he thinks a big sister would probably be better than two older brothers (he also is young enough that lost to the war means that he could probably find her, right?)

importantly, kid!Loki grows up very differently in this dream world. instead of being the weird outcast prince, everyone looks at him and is like "awww look he's like his big brother <3." he's also like, 8 so at the moment he is very much the baby of the family

anyway so the main plot of this dream was big Loki (imagine like a 19/20 year old) plus thor (like 12) and Loki (8ish) manage to find where Hela is sealed away. idk where they are or where the king and queen are, it's implied they're not in asgard right now and this was a Very Unplanned Field Trip that is giving older Loki an ulcer. They have to look at little Loki to confirm this weird fucking ceiling portrait is Hela bc the older two are not the Hela Experts in the room

at the same time, older Loki is starting to get some flashes of the future and begins to suspect that he's from the Bad Timeline

through accident, they manage to unseal Hela, who is met with three whole younger siblings - and let me tell you it is a very different welcome when you have a very enthusiastic 8-yr-old sparkling at you and very excited to have found his lost sister and a 12-yr-old who thinks girls kind of have cooties rolling his eyes

so hela makes a split second decision to not tell her baby brothers about the whole "dad sealed me away for being warful" thing (it will be a fun surprise for odin later <3) and also embrace being a big sister (it is now her legal job to pick on older loki and make fun of thor for being the odd one out)

anyway while they're figuring this out, older Loki is continuing to get flashes of the future but is now somehow joined by thor also getting flashes of the future. what they manage to glean makes them suspicious, and hey if they're both getting future visions or whatever then logically baby loki should also be, right??

so they start to like. suspiciously spy on little loki. except idk maybe the universe decided that one loki having knowledge was fine? i don't think older loki actually fully knows about the time travel thing or that he IS little loki tbh

so anyway they're spying on an eight year old who has a strict bedtime of nine o'clock.

meanwhile hela starts getting flashes of the future and is like "wait. do i destroy asgard?? why would i do that? where would my brothers live? ):"

the only other thing i remember is there being a dramatic scene where hela is trying to reject her fate and someone tells her that she cannot escape it, and she's actually getting teary eyed because she's gotten attached to her weird shitty brothers now

then i woke up and was like "huh"

[windupaidoneus]

hildecember 31. maybe not the best but its for me

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

Rumination (3/7)

Third instalment in our series of 7 Matt/Mello/Near drabbles written for @dnrarepairweek! :3 Prompts: successors, pining.

Near was left behind.

Rarepair: Matt/Mello/Near Other tags: The Kira Case, Wammy’s House

[read on AO3 or below] [series on AO3]

There have been no new enrollments since L and Watari’s deaths. With Matt gone, the room is nobody’s now.

Near often goes there to think.

Sometimes it’s about the Kira case: the clues he is gathering, what he will do to catch Kira.

Sometimes he hugs Mello’s pillow and inhales deeply, imagines he can still smell dark chocolate. Once or twice, he does the same with Matt’s, which has kept the scent of cold tobacco.

Sometimes he pictures different things. L not dead, Mello still here, Matt still glued to him, Near creeping in-between the two of them and staying.

[grison-in-space]

The face of a little dog very Concerned that I am missing bedtime and torn between accepting small "snooze" bribes to let me finish my episode and bullying me into going to bed and COMPLETING the ROUTINE

[rouxenne]

Can't believe I just watched Pearl's charity stream for all ten hours. My mind is numb, other than a screen headache. Gonna pop an ibuprofen so that I can sleep and slam out a full essay before the stream resumes tomorrow. Surely I can do this. Right?

[altruistic-meme]

sometimes you must allow the 4 year old in you control your actions and do something that would've made them happy. in my case this was buying 6 care bears keychains because I wanted to get a specific one.

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

new job

i started my internship last week! my colleagues are all really nice and i feel like i'm starting to get the hang of things. although there's not that much i can do yet because i still need to complete some introductions. so my main task at the moment is developing a gui for analysing the raw data of our spectrometers. which is cool and challenging and not something i've done before, but it's desk work. and i struggle slightly when i spend a full day at the desk. but i think i'll get to do more lab work soon :)

[brown-little-robin]

my last week, a visual demonstration

[crossbackpoke-check]

thank you to @bhagell!! choose and then tag people you want to get to know better <3

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre I opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees I macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library I rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagging: @whitenikes @catboy-mahura @gordiemeow @songsandswords @2minutes4yeehawing (if y’all haven’t already) and anybody who wants to participate!!

[gaybd1]

I remember seeing the promos for atla for a couple weeks leading up to its premiere and I was like “mom I HAVE to watch that!!!” and she was like “ok but your bedtime is 7:30 so you can only watch half” but it ended up being SO GOOD and she also was so into it that she just “forgot” to have me turn it off and go to bed.

and she did the same thing every week for every episode the next three seasons