#{ just had a lot of pointless thoughts. :') }

[front-facing-pokemon]

[nomairuins]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[m3llowm1sh]

ok i am currently drawing a thing and i looked up the physiotherapy ward bg to reference from (ty blupen for making all your thumbnails have the bg in them)

and ik everyone knows that the physiotherapy ward and stadium bgs are supposed to mimic each other cuz its really obvious and thats like the whole point of them BUT

THE LAMPS. LIGHTS. ARE THE FUCKING EYES. DID OTHER PPL REALIZE THIS???????????????? CUZ I JUST DID AND MY MIND IS FUCKING BLOWN RN HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ACT IS SO GOOD

[pl4n]

from a while back

[lesbiansanemi]

Uh oh. I accidentally liked a marvel movie. Losing my media snob credibility immediately

[bluastro-yellow]

We also have a poodle puppy. We called him Marx to remind us that we had never read Marx and now we have read a little and taken so strong a personal dislike to the man that we can't look the dog in the face when we speak to him...

Eileen O’Shaughnessy (George Orwell's wife) in a letter to her friend Norah Symes Myles

[scaredofmyocs]

I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long

[katyspersonal]

Transgender micolash

Valid, tho tbh I am not sure whether you sent it to ask my thoughts about it, or just informed me about what idea you like? Sorry it is just hard to say with ask lacking extra words to make it a statement or a question, hahah

I've shared my thoughts about Micolash's attitude to themes of birth and pregnancy occasionally, especially in this post ( x ), but yeah, it comes down to: no matter what Micolash is born with, he would LOVE to have an uterus. So imo, if he was born female, he'd come to lack genital dysphoria and even feel elevated during periods, however would absolutely dread being associated with femininity or motherhood as a role OTHERwise. Like... He'd love what his body allows him to experience, but in terms of gender identity absolutely be a man. And alternatively, as a trans woman, Micolash would definitely take advantage of weird eldrich powers gathered to be reborn in a new body - remember what kind of setting Bloodborne IS! Alternatively, his gender identity could stay male forever and he'd JUST want a type of body that can birth life. He admires this shit to a bizarre extent no matter what!

Again, you didn't specify whether you mean trans man or trans woman Micolash, but in Japanese original Micolash is referred to with the status more akin to king/lord (pretty masculine), not 'host'. So if you mean trans woman, that piece should be factored in. In my mind, Micolash is a man (or, as I like to say, 'my precious boy'), but yes if he is a trans man I can't help but feel like he would yearn to change many things about his body... but not That One. Deeper voice and no b00b tho? For sure. But besides personal dysphoria, there'd be added layer of wanting to become a 'perfect human being' - both male and female. However, that would turn out... well, not so perfect. I think we all can agree the only character in Bloodborne setting who changes the body with eldrich magic and gets the perfect result is Paleblood Hunter when they turn into a squid! (no, Val, you don't get to make the 'is that Patches erasure?!' joke fhghfutjh)

On the OOOOOTHER hand, notice how most of Great Ones are feminine figures? Oedon and Mergo aren't even gendered in Japanese original, and I for one only call OoK 'he' because he appears weirdly humanoid and resembles fishmen, while his mom (who also has human face) is more similar to snail/slug women (sex dymorphism strikes again)! You might want to say "but Oedon-" but holdup! Ebrietas is adult version of what Arianna's child is and is known in internal files as 'bastard of the Moon' so Flora, a feminine Great One, could impregnate mortal women too, you know? So it is possible that a man could get gender dysphoria induced by close proximity with Great Ones, rather than it occurring initially. Like what if Rom for example is only a she after being blessed by Kos, because apparently Godhood in Bloodborne is feminine.

That being said, trans woman Micolash is not necessarily excluded! Just not an interpretation I'd personally choose, because Micolash and Rom in my thing ARE 'brother and sister' mentioned in Brain Fluid description! My Mico is a man no matter with what body he was born! Also, now that I considered it, for trans man Micolash it could work that he used to have full on dysphoria, but it was after communing with Great Ones that he got appreciation for organs of birth that was stronger. Basically Great Ones can shift one's whole self-perception by being TOO much of moms?

(Fun fact, @saintmicolash did come up with an idea like whole three years ago - that Micolash, born male, is reborn with female reproductive system after weird eldrich s3x with Kos, but he can't birth a human and instead can only convert human sperm into her phantasms. I think this fits the character well too, but this idea is just change of the body, without any gender identity change, so I can't say how much it counts...?)

[twilightarcade]

i waana keep this library but I have noidea what to do with it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[kordbot]

thinkin abt benny tonight

[skid-the-mighty-poet]

[gu6chan]

Not to name any names but i think the day i truly understood the importance of having a connected "theme" in your work is when i read this person's story and it was all this angst and drama but felt so,,, disconnected and MEANINGLESS i came out feeling the most neutral-faced and "well wtf was that all about" i ever did and when i asked if they had written it with any "theme" in mind they were like "oh i let my work speak for itself, the readers can interpret it" that's a cool idea!!!!! IF you were a reader!!!! do you have an idea on what you're WRITING about though??????

[jawsplitter]

i've seen people say LoT is their favorite arrowverse show and that completely bewilders me because that is the worst one. like it wins by a landslide. LoT is actual dogass

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i've been trying to work on getting more specific about criteria i set my boundaries around and adjacent--namely around actionable behaviors as opposed to just things that tend to be accompanied by them, like 'if you engage with me to argue whether a dynamic i consider to be abusive is actually abuse i will block you' instead of just 'if you don't think [X specific dynamic] is abuse DNI.' but man sometimes there are things that are context-specific enough that if you don't specify that particular instance people are unlikely to know what you're talking about.

('if you call pericles a nazi i will block you for holocaust denial, [short summary or link to explanation]' is a personal example that comes to mind. i can name the specific shitty trope--'The Nazis Were Gay is a homophobic myth and it is holocaust denial, cut it out'--but if someone hasn't already made that connection with pericles, they are..... probably not going to unless you lay it out yourself. and it will probably involve a Lot of Context when your DNI is really just not the place to stop for a thousand-word essay about the tropes and framing and character dynamics in a piece of media, even if it's something you're happy to infodump about elsewhere.)

('if [criteria relating to the All Germans are Nazis trope or nazis otherwise getting thrown in for bad guy shock value] i will block you' i think gets closer to the broader issue--because hoooly shit there is so much nastiness that inevitably comes with, once again usually holocaust denial--but i don't even know where i'd start with framing that. 'if you do/don't engage critically with [X]' is a nothingburger and it's worse than useless. but like, chances are VERY good that if your policy is not 'look real fucking hard at the presence of nazis in a piece of media, what it means relative to the other elements of the story, whether invoking them is appropriate or even relevant, and the author's intent in doing so' you are going to have takes i do not want to engage with and think are really shitty to spread.)

and there's also not much nuanced shorthand language around for things like 'if you have [opinion] and didn't realize why it might be shitty before seeing it pointed out, i'll be understanding of that, but if you're going to double down when it's laid out in front of you i will block you.' or, for that matter, 'if you make unsolicited comments about my abuse history while discussing fiction i will bite your fucking head off and post about it publicly on my blog, with url attached. if you don't want that then stay off my goddamn posts and mind your business.'

there's also a really important distinction, i think, between the contexts in which you're laying these boundaries. you can't expect every rando who reblogs a post of yours that got big to click through and read through every single boundary you have to make sure you won't block them, but if they're going to follow you it is much more relevant to them to know if they'll just get blocked (or decide they want to block you). and some person following you to occasionally reblog aesthetics or fanart from a distance is a different level of engagement than someone who might take part in meta discussions on your posts, or draw fanart of your AU, or get in contact with you outside of the platform where you met to make friends. it's reasonable to have different expectations for strangers on the street, people you run into at the coffee shop now and then, and people you invite over to your house.

like.... in general i feel like DNI is just not the right name for it, because that presents a binary that might not always fit. if someone has an opinion i'm bothered by and don't want to engage with directly, but will go 'oh, huh i didn't think of it like that' when seeing an explanation from the outside, that's not a 'never breathe in my direction again' offense to me. if anything i think most people are basically decent and would like to be decent, and it makes me happy to be able to provide someone with the perspective to make an informed choice for how to do that.

as it is you're just kind of boxed into the corner of FUCK OFF GTFO GO AWAY, which is even more unhelpful when it comes to communicating criteria where you Really Fucking Mean It, like 'if you think it's acceptable to tell someone to kill themself then fuck off, fuck all the way off, stay the hell away from me.' that 'gtfo or don't' binary takes away the capacity for that emphasis, and honestly also contributes to the extreme black-and-white toxicity of fandom and internet spaces in general this past decade or so. if 'didn't pick up on a subtle depiction of abuse at first and was kind of insensitive about it' and 'literal suicide baiting' are exactly the same degree of Bad, then either the suicide baiting seems trivial, or people are going to feel Attacked and like they must be a terrible person for any slightly imperfect good-faith thought or opinion they might have, or have just not thought through.

in the latter case, even if they end up going with the Other Opinion(tm) because feeling attacked put them off, fandom these days is a nightmare of systemic abuse which weaponizes that binary. seeing it replicated even from people who are trying to push back against it--even if it's because those people have been pushed into a corner and aggressive Get the Fuck Away from Me is, understandably, all they have left--just reinforces that there is no other model for this, that the abusive framework for how to navigate the world is all there is. i hate the idea of contributing to that, and i wish i weren't having to feel out the alternative by myself while already being so goddamn burned out on the whole thing.

and like.... i think 'boundaries' as a term is definitely getting warmer, but by itself doesn't quite communicate its nature as a Thing for the specific purposes of navigating socmed spaces. just. hm.

[seumyo]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 8:46

“Do you have dimples?”

Bakugou doesn’t understand it himself, but you always find your way back to his house after your first visit—asking these out-of-the-blue questions that seem to have no end to them. It’s like a curse has befallen him, one that follows him wherever he goes.

For a moment, his eyes snap in your direction, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side, though his intense glare never once wavers. He didn’t know what the hell you were getting at, and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to even want to know why you were asking about something so random.

Honestly, he should be used to it by now. But the thing is, he isn’t, because sooner or later you’ll be popping out of nowhere with another of your pointless questions.

“Hah?”

“I asked, do you have dimples?” you repeated.

His eye twitches at the repeated question, and as much as he’d like to give you a snappy remark to get you to stop, he can’t seem to come up with one. So, for the time being, he decides to humor you (and hope for the best that you drop it and move onto another topic).

“Why the hell are you asking?”

“Because Kaminari and I made a bet whether you have dimples or not. I went with yes, you do have them—even if it’s a singular dimple, but Kaminari says otherwise,” you explained, tapping your finger softly against the coffee table.

He scoffs at the childish reason. “And what makes you think I do have one?”

“A hunch,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “I also have just one.” You smiled, showing off your obvious singular dimple on your right cheek.

Bakugou glances at your dimple for a brief moment, eyes scanning over your face and the way that the dimple seemed to perfectly dip into the soft skin of your cheek. He almost found himself entranced for a moment, but his gaze returned to your eyes as he huffed out in mock disinterest.

He was about to dismiss your hunch—maybe just flat-out refuse to even show you—or come up with a lie. But Bakugou Katsuki wasn’t a liar.

“What happens if you win the bet?”

“I get 3000 yen,” you answered.

That’s a lot, he thought.

“I can pay you 3000 yen to shut the fuck up and stop with the useless questions.”

“There’s no fun in that!”

He scoffs again as he leans back against the sofa, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at your stupidity. He eyed you for a moment, his head tilting to the side as he sighed. “And what happens if you lose the bet?”

“He gets 3000 yen.”

Bakugou almost wanted to laugh at the fact that you were putting so much faith and money on a simple guess, but he managed to hold back on the amused expression and forced himself to remain calm and unbothered.

He leaned back a bit more, relaxing against the plush seats, letting out a mocking “tch” before he said, “What if I don’t show you if I have a damn dimple or not?”

“Please? Oh my god, Bakugou. Don’t do this to me now! Kaminari’s going to do a ‘victory dance’ when he finds out he won by default,” you half-whined.

He was about to give you his final choice when suddenly you started whining at him. Bakugou rose an eyebrow at you, lips quirking to a frown. As idiotic as it is to him, it looks like it was quite a serious matter to you.

“Tch. Whatever.”

You threw your hands to your face, groaning. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top? Spare me some sympathy—and be a team player for once!”

He found himself fighting a scowl at the way you acted. It was somewhat different this time around, and it was making him feel weird. Damn it. You’re a goddamn nuisance.

“Alright, fine. Just—” He motioned with his hand for you to come closer, an almost annoyed expression on his face. “If you tell anyone else about this other than Dunce Face, I’ll make sure you don’t ever see the next sunrise.”

“That doesn’t sound heroic at all—but yes, of course!” you cheered. “Just a little smile, and I shall confirm the goods.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up,” he muttered under his breath, already regretting giving into your stupid request but at the same time knowing that he would never let Kaminari win against you in all circumstances possible.

He let out a huff and hesitantly let the sides of his own lips quirk up into a half-assed attempt at a smile, but from the way it was so rigid, it looked more like a painful grimace.

You gave him a confused, somewhat flat look in return. “Dude, you look like you’re about to shit yourself—mmph! ” You didn’t get to finish what you were saying as Bakugou’s palms immediately squished your cheeks together to shut you up.

“Oh shut it, dipshit,” Bakugou grumbled, his grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly as he forced you to pout your lips. “You were asking for a smile. I give one, and you wanna give me smart ass remarks about it?”

“I didn’ even gwet toh shee anythin’! That’s how bwad ith was,” you muffled out through pouty lips.

“Are you gonna keep yapping and bitching about what you asked for, or are you gonna accept my goddamn smile?”

“Fine, fine!” you yielded, pushung his hands away from your face. “Do it one more time, and I’ll actually check this time.”

He narrowed his eyes, almost as if he were wondering if you were going to actually do as you said or go against it and keep making smart-ass comments. But as you yielded, he let out a sigh and decided he’d rather just get this done and over with. 

Less hassle for him.

He repeated his ‘smile’ from before, which looked more like a forced sneer, and he waited for your verdict. This was his last straw; he was going to murder you (not).

You had to hold back your laughter but failed to do so. “I really can’t— Bakugou, please! ” you mused, hitting his shoulder playfully. “Your ‘smile’ reminds me of that time Kirishima had to hold the biggest shit before the bell rings.”

That caught Bakugou off guard. He remembered the memory of Kirishima’s panicked expression and the weird waddle he’d walked around in as he desperately tried to find a bathroom made Bakugou snort under his breath.

“Oh my god, you’re laughing!” you gawked. “And have a dimple! Just a singular one, like mine! We’re matching.”

There it was. A singular dimple on his left cheek.

Bakugou tried to regain his lost composure and let out a scoff in an attempt to mask the slight tint of pink that reached the tip of his ears. He forced his hand onto your face, shoving you (lightly, if he may add) away from him to prevent you from getting another look at his dimple.

“It’s not a worldwide discovery, dumbass. I can fucking laugh if I want to, and it’s just a fucking indent on the cheek.”

“Still cute,” you shrugged, pulling up your phone to text Kaminari. “I need to let Kami know that I won the bet, then we celebrate with bubble tea— my treat!”

“Hey wait— You—“

He tried to protest against your sudden celebration, wanting to tell you that he wasn’t going to let you treat him for anything. This whole damn thing started because of a stupid bet, and he doesn’t really find joy in gaining something from it, but as you pulled out your phone and began to text Kaminari, he sighed and leaned back again with his arms crossed tight against his chest.

“Whatever. You’re fucking annoying.”

“Kay,” you answered. “Also, your actual smile is pretty charming, if you ask me. It’s different from the usual sneer you have on your face. That’s just my opinion, though.”

Bakugou’s face grew a bit warm at your unexpected compliment, but he quickly tried to hide it and turned his head to avert his gaze away from you. His mouth opened to reply with a snappy remark or something like that, but he found himself hesitating.

He eventually scoffed and muttered a low, “Tch. Stop spouting nonsense.”

“Bakugou Katsuki has a singular dimple,” you sing-songed aloud, though you knew that no one would hear since his parents weren’t even home.

Bakugou felt his eyes twitch at your teasing, resisting the urge to tell you off and even going as far as to just punch your shoulder lightly. “Shut the fuck up, dipshit.”

He later found out that there was no bet, and you had just made up the whole scenario to confirm your curiosity. That Bakugou Katsuki does have a dimple, a singular one at that.

Could you imagine how furious he was?

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