#{{ hope everyone is having a good day or night! }}

[azullumi]

LAST NIGHT I DREAMT OF THE STARS AND YOU, PT. 1

premise — because that’s just how they are; alternatively, “the type to” trend with hsr characters. characters — ruan mei, veritas ratio, aventurine, and robin content tags — gender-neutral reader, established relationship, fluff, slight angst, not proofread, word vomit in some parts, 1.6k words ; headcanons

note from me — seasickness took me out and the fact that i have a 9 hr road trip tomorrow is already making me dizzy. i hope i’m asleep for the 3/4 of it,, also this has a pt. 2 which i’ll upload later on !! anyways i wrote this in between my vacation and trip and in between the long-ass separate fics with sunday and aven so sorry if it seems rusty or out of my style 🙏

RUAN MEI, (lies in between the line of a good lover and a bad lover) the type to be unable to express her affections for you through words and settles with small and simple gestures that she has observed and seen from everyone around her; having never understood “love” and never knowing how to correspond with such, she’s left silent and confused like a lost child in the wake of it. She’ll find herself staring you quietly, memorizing the lines of your face and how it creases and contorts into different expressions, studying each crevices and edges of the parts that makes up your being to bury you in her memory, and there’s a smile that tugs on her lips every time her gaze falls on you. Oh, she wishes she understood what it all meant (she simply and devastatingly adores you).

RUAN MEI, the type to subconsciously write your name on paper whenever she’s distracted. it’s a small habit she does, one that makes her smile whenever she notices the letters spelling out your name. She has ruined, tainted several of her papers, even important ones, with just a single word, a set of letters that composes of what makes warmth seep into her chest when her mind drifts into the thought of someone—you.

RUAN MEI, the type not understand the underlying reason behind her actions—why she spends the time and makes the effort in between her busy schedule and pile of papers to make sweets for you, why she lets you do her hair despite how messy it often turns out when you braid it and how she can never find the strength in herself to “fix” or disturb the state of your work, why she always seek for the warmth of your hands whenever she’s feeling uneasy or stressed, why she always lean to your shoulder or to your touch when you caress her cheek, and everything. It’s a puzzle board of missing and scattered pieces, unable to comprehend the full image of the mystery—and yet, she still delves into the enigma of her feelings that is intertwined with your existence. Maybe one day she’ll come to know it all and maybe it will be the time when she can finally be honest to herself.

VERITAS RATIO, the type to want to know every single thing you and remember all of it. Perhaps it’s the bare minimum, perhaps it’s something that he just does. “They don’t like that,” He would say when an arrogant fool would even try to give you (or do) something, and he’s there, witnessing it all, knowing the things that you prefer and like. He knows what flowers that you like, knows your favorite color, knows the way you prefer to sleep, knows the small habits that you do when you’re nervous or scared or happy, knows every little detail that paints the whole of your existence. Isn’t it simply just lovely when someone desires to know you from the inside and out? Even if it’s just a little bit, he feels more closer to you in this way.

VERITAS RATIO, the type to be sweet and reassuring towards you (through words and actions), even though he may come off as mean, blunt, or rude towards others. Sure, he may call you an idiot sometimes but he’ll never go past that nor reach the line of degrading and distasteful remarks because he never wishes to hurt your feelings; if ever he did, he’ll apologize and tell you it’s not his intention. “Fool,” But the affection that edges into the tone of his voice cuts the thread of disdain that sews into the word. Oftentimes when texting and it’s easy to misunderstand the tone of one’s message, especially his tone, he’ll reassure you that he didn’t send it in a way that he’s angry or scornful: “The ‘Ok’ that I sent is not a mad ‘Ok’, I am in a rush and could only type that out. I’m not angry.”

VERITAS RATIO, the type to entertain your questions no matter how stupid it can be; he’d give you the answers every single time. He doesn’t mind being treated like a walking encyclopedia or dictionary if it’s you—he’d hate it if you were going to ask someone else instead of him (although he probably never told you that discomfort). I mean, you have a well-known member of the Intelligentsia Guild, someone who parallels a genius, just right at the tip of your fingertips, why bother asking someone else?

AVENTURINE, the type to like listening to the sound of your breathing, the sound of your heartbeat (to listen to the sound of you blinking, to listen to your hands soothe). It’s comforting, in an odd way, and he never tells you but it helps him fall asleep—watching the rising and falling of your chest, seeing your calm face wrinkle ever so often while you sleep. He keeps the sound of your heartbeat close to the pocket on his chest, weaving the rhythm of it to his pulse, and before he knew it, the dawn will come in quiet solitude.

AVENTURINE, the type to be always on fight-or-flight mode. Perhaps it’s the way that he grew up, perhaps it was the harsh and cruel environment that he’s in, but he’s always on guard, seemingly on defensive mode as if danger lurks at every dark corner. His shoulders are always tense, his hand either hidden or playing with the ring on his finger, it’s like he never can’t seem to relax himself even when he’s in the comfort of your arms. It follows him everywhere, trailing behind his feet, and forces him awake at night—he doesn’t even know where the fear, the anxiety, is coming from, he just knows it’s there. One wrong step and his thoughts will come crashing down like cold downpour, one wrong move and you’ll come to leave him. Sometimes a little reassurance comes a long way and it’s all he needs when his mind is being tormented. (He will learn to live with it, even if he can never seem to understand or know it. He will come to know peace as if it’s all he had in his hands when the sun first held him).

AVENTURINE, the type to immediately smile after a kiss. It’s utterly affectionate; parting, staring deeply into one’s eyes with his cheeks dusted with a certain color and he’s grinning—warmth beams from his expression and there’s a certain feeling that intertwines into his gaze and he knows it’s love because it’s all he feels whenever he looks at you. He’s the type to laugh into a kiss, feeling ticklish all over his bones as if your hands are ghosting the sensitive parts of his skin, and you’ll ask him, “What?” but he’ll only answer with, “Nothing.” He’s not drunk, the ache of wanting simply swells up in his chest and all he can think of is how much he adores you.

ROBIN, the type to try and make time for you. Her schedule is always packed, filled with all kinds of events and tasks that she needs to do. It’s overwhelming, everything feels overwhelming for her and it’s hard to know which one she should prioritize first not when she has a lot of things on her hands. Sometimes she feels lost, feels the weight too heavy on her shoulders, feels like her feet are tied to the ragged earth, feels the cage closing on her. She tries so hard to be the perfect lover for you, to become someone that will reach beyond your expectations; she cradles that perfect image, broken in all of its edges, that were constructed for herself close to her chest even if it feels like a knife to her heart. But really, all you need is for her to be herself (not the star that everyone admires and wishes to reach) and sometimes, that’s all she needs to hear from you—that she doesn’t have to hold on to the shattered chains when the coldness of the metal reminds her of what she has to carry.

ROBIN, the type to go on all kinds of dates with you, silly or not, and even matches clothes with you. She’s usually the one to make the invite to match, thinking that it’s cute and the both of you rarely ever has time like this so why not make the most out of it; who are you to even say no when she’s beaming at you so warmly? She has all of her options laid on the bed, displayed on clothing hangers, asking you what you’re going to wear or what color do you want. It’s lovely, sweet, seeing her like this and you could only pray to whoever aeon is listening that nobody comes to ruin the day the both of you rarely have for each other.

ROBIN, the type to bring you all kinds of souvenirs and gifts from her (universal) tours, sometimes having bought too much that you don’t know what to with some of them; the type to send you letters every time she’s away so that you won’t worry for he, especially knowing what happened last time, the type to always try to keep in touch and keep you close no matter the stars between you and her. She’ll ask for one thing that you own that she can carry with her person, making a promise that she’ll come back and return it—the item a testament to her vow—, but for the meantime, she’ll keep it so she has a little piece of you everywhere she goes and she can say that you’re always there by her side.

DRUM ROLLS PLS *dundundundundun* special mention to the one and only beloved feli @dr-felitas !! i think i owe you a lot of end notes so here i am :3 also i’m sorry if i publish this and i still haven’t responded to your messages (if you have sent me cause im on dnd to avoid my dumbass from checking and looking at the phone during car rides knowing that i get motion sick) ANYWAYS i would like to begin this with i love you mwamwa, you’re one of the sweetest and most wonderful souls i have ever met and anyone who tells u otherwise will get a boulder thrown to their head 🫵 im glad to have met you, that my anti-social ass went ahead and messaged you despite the fact that we only talked once or twice AND IT WAS OVER ASKS OR COMMENTS BUT YEAH !! idk what or where i’ll be if i hadn’t done that; maybe not replying to my friends idk (again im sorry if i take business days to answer i sometimes get busy or i sometimes dont have the energy :3 i hope u still love me hahahaha… *slides down the wall*) again, i really appreciate and adore you for everything. you are a brave and kind person and i only hope for the good things for you. don’t be too mean or harsh to yourself 🫂 know that i’m always here to listen to you no matter what you’re saying. you’re never a burden to me and i hope you’ll come to see just how you shine and radiate with so much warmth and kindness, it’s like love itself is found in you. ily lottss mwaa <33

sunday, himeko, welt, gallagher, and jing yuan next !!

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[yandere-wishes]

⭒ㅤׂ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇㅤׂ ⭒

⭒⌒★ Yandere! X-Men x Reader ★⌒⭒

゜。♡ 𝓔𝔁𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 ♡ ｡ ゜

˚୨♡୧˚Magneto - Erik Lehnsherr | مگنیتو - اریک لنشر 

Techno graces your body in lieu of veins. Wires coiling like arteries should. You use it to mimic him, embody him, be him. His starry-eyed parody. Erik needs you to be more, to be everything he -and everybody else- could never be. You are synthetic and sacred in every way, you are the future he so desperately craves. 

He can't help seeing them when he looks at you. The reverend wraiths of tortured adoration speak to him through your eyes. He sees a bit of everyone inside you, Charles, Raven, Rogue... their faces flashing like holy ghosts. You have too many constellations inside of you, all on the verge of erupting. It keeps him up at night, especially when you're curled up on your side of the bed, asleep and oblivious. 

"You will save us, little one, you will be the savior we have longed for"

He feels the centuries rolling through him, desperately lost, trying to find his way back to a home he never even knew. Maybe that's why he kneels, brushing his lips across your knuckles tracing each vein in hopes that'll lead him back to a place he's only ever seen in his dreams. I'll stay lost, I'll wait for you to find me. He knows you will, you'll do anything for him. He's sure of it. 

Genosha asks for a queen, demands it really. It's funny how these things work. Funny how those who rule the world are so intent on destroying it. Kingdoms aren't built in a day yet they can so easily be toppled in one. In turn, Magento asks you. Who else? It's his one cardinal tenet, you are the savior he could never be. The one his people, your people, need. Erik rolls your name between his lips, relishing as the syllables melt on his tongue. There's a magnetic pull to 'queen' it tastes like a hallowed prayer. "My queen" he whispers in your ear, his tongue sending sparks up the cartilage shell. Magneto pins you to his lap, keeping you tethered to his strong body. His fingers run lines up your hips indulging in your presence. You don't squirm although he suspects you want to. his lips lower, kissing your jugular and savoring the ungainly moan that slips past your pretty lips. "M-Magneto" He's only now realizing you've never called him by his birthname, maybe cause in some way you find it treacherous that he should bear such a human thing. He may see you as salvation, yet you've always gazed at him with the pietistic eyes of a zealous worshipper. 

"Use your power, feel the magnetic pull flowing through you."

"You're overcomplicating it again, master, I just need to command that which I need lifted."

You've always been a rebellious student. The sardonic irony isn't lost on him, Magneto finds it fitting that he should master such an intricate pupil.

He wonders if you can forgive him for the bodies he's scattered in your name. From this far up he doubts you notice the broken bodies littering the concrete. He'll do it all again, anything to keep your distractions at bay. His kind needs a leader, not another sanctimonious hero.

You will be their savior.

You will be his queen.

♠️🂱♠️Gambit - Remy Lebeau | گمبیت - رمی لیبو

Remy wonders if the king ever longs to be stacked with the queen. Holding his breath every time the cards are shuffled. Praying that this time, this time for sure, he'll be next to her. Gambit's holding his breath too. There's a lively lilt when you giggle, he wonders if you truly grasp how much he means every word. "Mon Cheri, you know you're the only one for me." It sounds so childish, so jejune and Gambit knows he's too old for school-boy crushes. But he can't help it, he's desperate too, just another aspirant king vying for the attention of his red queen. 

You once told him the blacks of his eyes remind you of a starry night sky back home. He thinks about that too much. About the sting of your hand on his shoulder and how good it felt sitting crooked in his bones. So that's why an ace surpasses the king. There is only, one who holds power. Maybe it's never been about the queen or the king or the royal house. It's been the Ace all along. Remy only has one heart, he knows he only has one ace too. There was an ace of hearts on your nightstand this morning, you don't recall how it got there. 

Remy's kisses are too explosive, they hold all the weight of a dying star. Yet the force never ceases, it feeds off the detonations only growing stronger, you think you'll be consumed in this kinetic nova he calls love. 

-`X´- Cyclops - Scott Summers | سیکلوپ - سکات سامرز

There's a shutter of loneliness crawling up his spine. He knows you feel it too. Scott bends and breaks under its crushing weight. You've always been there, tangible, solid. You're the living metaphor for a rock in a raging river. He just can't find the right words yet. You can't see his eyes, you can't withstand his power. But you can be there holding his hand through it all. 

'Is this selfishness'? Scott wonders and he kisses you under a dying moon. He's never had anything to call his own, nothing that stayed for long anyway. He's snuffed out his desires his whole life. His place is with the X-men, playing the no-choice hero of a thankless story. But you, you're still here, you never left. Even now you stand still as his lips taint yours. He feels your fear, undue thing that it is. But he can't let you go not when everything is always marred in endless red monochrome and melancholy. Not when the only blessing the universe had ever given him comes in the shape of you. He's so tired of only ever knowing the life of a perfect toy soldier. 'Stay' he begs you between each kiss, each touch. Please just stay. Ease his pain.

 

☽✭☾ Wolverine - Logan Howlett | ولورین - لوگان هاولت

He's been alive longer than he cares to count. Running from one hell to another. He remembers your ghost, essence weaving between places too blurred to be graced with a name. But he remembers you, he swears he does. It's just that time is so fickle and so few can withstand its crushing tides. 

"How have you been, Logan?" 

"I..ah... fine, just fine." 

When he looks at you he can't believe the changes. There's no trace of the rosy cheecked little girl who used to chase demons in the snowbanks. Playing hide and seek with every stray in the neighborhood. That's good, he thinks, he likes this refined dignitary better, somehow it brings out your eyes. There's a feral gaze when he looks at you, he thought he was over that. He feels the pulsing of his heart reverberate through his claws. It brings back something less than memories, something nostalgic, yet all so distant it may as well have been the sent of his childhood home. It's not right he thinks, as his claws trace your curves trying to feel something he knows is lost. You quiver, trying to make yourself smaller and he knows, he knows he shouldn't do this. But there are just so many pieces missing and he's never tried to look for any of them. Maybe just this once he can delude himself into remembering. 

˚ʚ★ɞ˚ Nightcrawler - Kurt Wagner | شب خزنده - کورت واگنر

Not too long ago this used to be fine. He's always been better within shadows, letting the soft dark weave around his body. Obscurity has always felt like a second home, a haven in everything but consistency. You speak in italics, talking and talking without understanding what he shoulders. If he didn't deem it blasphemy, Kurt would gladly dub himself Eros.

You would be Psyche. Oblivious, sweet Psyche.

Kurt longs to kiss your cheek, he knows it'll only starve him for more. He wonders how soft your hands will feel. If you'll You cradle his face nails tracing the sharp point of his ears, his fangs, the jagged scar he got from dreaming of you in the danger room. Will you grace him with a kiss? Something to relinquish the anguish stirring within. This should be fine, you're talking to him, laughing with him as he remains hidden within the dark. And yet how can he see this as anything less than retribution? You're so close, just a breath away. If only he could reach out and...

۵𓋹۵ Apocalypse - En Sabah Nur | آپآکلپژ- ان صباح نور

Your heartbeat sounds all too familiar. He used to hear it a thousandfold walking down the Bazaar's street. It's dead now, the noise, the rapture, the music. He wonders what went right for your heart to beat to such a lost tune?  He remembers once hearing that pain travels through families until it lands on the right generation. He's glad fate picked you. He's glad you share the same ancient burdens.

He puts the stars in the sky.

You've been warned against worshipping false idols so blindly.

Yet how can one not fall at his feet?

He who makes the earth tremble and mighty cower. 

He who seems to know everything you do not. 

Your fingers thread through his hair. It's too black, like staring at a moonless sky in December. You wonder if the eternal ebony is what gives Apocolypse his cynical edge. He laughs at the comment as he melts into your familiar touch."Thank you" he mutters. His pride laces every word twisting them into something metaphysical. Nur wonders if you catch the true sentiment behind the words. If the sand and stars make it through. 

You're too archaic for this time Nur thinks as he watches you run across the fields. The other mutants are there, persistent in the games you all play. In his time he'd have already declared you his wife. Do you know the ancient ceremonies? Would you have gifted him gold or flesh? The yearning builds in his throat. Maybe he should have stayed dead. 

Apocolypse lingers the days away in your room, plotting, scheming. You keep him hidden like a blood secret. He's the only one who seems to understand where your power comes from, where you come from. " I could win against you...someday" Your fingers glow igniting a forgotten glow, Nur can't help but laugh as he traces the curve of your spine. " I don't doubt you could, beloved." His blue lips are the length of your neck. Everything about you screams dead nostalgia. You've followed him through lifetimes. Smiling as you dragged him across the sand dunes just to watch the sunset. How he longs to carve you open and feel your heart between his teeth. 

He's choking on sand.

Drowning in stardust.

Nur feels like he's swallowed the sun whole. Devoured Ra and spat out his holy bones. He still feels the sting of its rays seeping through his teeth. He's divinity and desperation are all in the same breath. Apocalypse and Nur are just two sides of the same daric. You stand in front of him, tracing the blues of his face, kissing the reds of his eyes. An excavation into the lost, unearthing that which could collapse the world. You enjoy him, savor him, keeping his gold essence on your tongue locked behind rose-tinted lips. You beg Nur to dig through your bones, open you up, unseal every crypt. He obliges, kissing the hollow of your bones until his teeth graze your unsteady heart.

"And what will you do once you meet the real world?"

"Oh, nothing, the real world will have to meet me first."

There is so much blood, he doesn't remember doing this. You stand beside him watching the sand in the hourglass run out. He is Apocolypse bringer of destruction, the end of worlds, funny how he needed you, frail sweet thing that you are, to remind him of this. It's only when he looks at you, really really looks at you that he realizes how many things are still the same. Twisted deformed yet still they harbor their old shapes. Apocolypse kisses you under the shade of a palm tree hoping it'll mean something in the end.

Hoping everything can just go back. 

[starshinegarcia]

hi!!! Can you do Spencer x fem reader where she is not a part of the BAU but is Spencer's gf and no one on the team knows but they have their suspicions. Then one day he forgot his lunch so she decides to bring it to him at work and everyone is so shocked that he has a gf and they tease Spencer bc he's so infatuated with her and they are so in love!

I love this idea so much!! requested Spencer x Reader oneshot- my first time writing Spencer! feedback appreciated as always! __ stands for Y/N! hope i did it justice! thanks so much for the request lovely 💗

Isn’t it just so pretty to think..

The sun peeked in at you through a crack in the cream colored curtains, a trick of the light casting shadows on your freckled back as you dozed off- again. The slow beeping of your alarm clock came into earshot once again, and you begrudgingly unlocked your phone, trudging across the apartment to take a picture of the fridge (it was the only way to shut your alarm off, Spencer had figured out your sleep habits.) Slowly padding back to your bedroom, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, blinking as you examined Spencer’s side of the bed. Wait. You twirled around, doing a double take as your eyes focused on the blue lunch bag sitting on the counter. Spencer had forgotten his lunch, the one you had packed for him the night before, like you always did.

The love note peeked out at you in the front pocket, an extra reminder to you as you grabbed your phone. Scrolling through a few texts from Spencer from earlier in the morning, you dialed his number, chewing on your lip as it rang. “Good morning, sunshine.” “Spencie, you forgot your lunch.” You heard your boyfriend sigh on the other line, imagining him rubbing his temples. “So much for that eidetic memory, huh? I’m sorry, baby, put it back in the fridge, okay? I’ll order something for today.” You shook your head, but refrain from arguing audibly as an idea sprang into your head. “Baby?” “Just wait there, okay Spence?” “__, sweetheart, what-” “No time to talk! Bye!” Giggling, you DID place the lunch back in the fridge as he had asked, dashing back to the bedroom and shutting the door with a spin.

Spencer had, undoubtedly, been in a rush that morning, having stayed in bed with you a few more minutes then time allowed for. He ended up not being late, and even if he had been he would never sacrifice that time with you, not for the BAU, not for the world. You had been dating for half a year now, but you had been in his life for much longer before that- hence you two moving in relatively quickly. The team obviously had their suspicions, but no formal introduction had taken place- but Spencer was left completely clueless that morning as you hung up the phone, smiling and going back to his files with a loving shake of his head.

So, come lunchtime, the last thing he was expecting was your scent wafting through the office, his ears picking up on the jingling of your bracelets and suddenly feeling slightly crazy. But no, there you were, bouncing up to him with a visitor badge pinned to your blouse, your guy’s favorite Chinese takeout cradled in her hands.

“Hi, babe.” You set the food down on his desk, perching yourself on his desk. “What are you doing here, sunshine?” “Well, I have a shoot later downtown, and, I figured you might want some lunch- free delivery, of course.” Spencer chuckles, taking you in- you were wearing a light blue blouse over a darker blue skirt- two of his favorite colors, though anything looked good on you. “You shouldn’t have. You look stunning, though. I can’t wait to see those pictures later.” You giggle, swinging your legs and reaching out a hand to smooth his curls down. Spencer clears his throat, and you glance up to see the entire BAU staring at you.

The rest of the office watched in awe as you came in, then with even more surprise as you beelined it to Spencer’s desk. JJ whipped a fashion magazine out of seemingly thin-air, pointing to a woman on the front cover. “She is quite literally the top plus sized model in the US right now.” “You’re telling me that Spencer is dating HER?” Garcia burst out in a fit of giggles, “I told you guys, big girls are the way to go!” while Derek shook his head with a smile. “Pretty boy pulls a model. Who knew?” Emily swiveled around to face them, shaking her head. “She looks different than the magazine, though. She looks smart, and look at the way he’s looking at her. Reid wouldn’t date someone without depth.”

Becoming aware of everyone’s eyes on you, you look to your boyfriend for an answer, getting a nod and gentle smile in return. You hop up off his desk, smoothing your skirt down and waving shyly. “Uh, hi, everyone! I’m __, it’s really nice to finally meet you guys, Spencer has told me so much about you and I’m really glad to finally be putting a face to the name and I’m-” “Baby, breathe.” The team stifles a laugh, the resemblance between your rants and Spencer’s tangents clear. You flush. “Anyway. I brought enough food for all, if you guys want? Penelope, I um, got some vegetarian stuff for you, as well.” Garcia, the woman that she is, wraps you in a tight hug, and you laugh, appreciating her silent invitation into the group.

Seated at the round table, everyone passes food around, settling down eventually and eating off of paper plates Rossi had dug up somewhere. Chatter fills the table, and the door abruptly opens as Hotch enters the briefing room. Everyone freezes, and you drop your fork startlingly loudly as his eyes find you. Rossi starts, “Aaron, we were just-” Hotch holds up his hand, cracking a smile as he motions to shake your hand. “You must be Spencer’s girlfriend. I had a feeling we’d be meeting you soon. __, is it?” You blink, standing up and letting out a sigh of relief, eyes twinkling as he winks at Spencer and starts to pull up a chair.

As the lunch hour came to a natural close, Spencer pulled you close as you leaned on his shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the side of your head,Garcia gazes at you two from the bullpen. “They are so freaking cute, I could cry.” Everyone laughs, but silently agrees, happy to know their youngest and most troubled colleague had found someone. Back in the office, you glance at your bedazzled watch and sigh.“I need to get going, baby, my shoot starts in half an hour.” Spencer groans, tugging on your arm as you start to stand up and gather your things. You laugh, rubbing his hand with your thumb. “I’ll see you at home, Spencie.” He nods, pulling you into a kiss and resting his forehead against yours. “I’ll be looking forward to that PB&J tomorrow, sweetheart.”

All along there was some invisible string, tying you to me..

Tags: @discotitsposts @ilikw

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[catmiemy]

Another Chance to Live Part 3 (Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader)

Summary: Both Ana and you spend some time at your national camps. It helps you to finally realize a few things.

Part 1, Part 2

A/N: At this point I think I'm just committing to aim for an upload every Sunday. Maybe I'll manage to update sooner at some point, but usually I end up being way too busy during the week. And in case anyone is wondering, there will be three more parts after this.

I was really excited for this part, so I hope you guys will be to. And thank you to anyone who has shared their thoughts about this story, it always make my day. :)

Also, Ana at the Champions league final just broke my heart all over again!

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed, and while you missed Ana’s presence next to you, you were also glad for the moment of reflection it allowed you. Last night had blurred the lines between the Swiss woman and you, a prospect that seemed much scarier in the bright light of day.  

Maybe it also felt more daunting at the moment because you were nervous about going to camp. Conditions had improved somewhat for the Spanish national team, but it still wasn’t a happy place to be. It was still an ongoing back and forth, constant fighting for every small thing to hopefully one day get to the point you all wanted to be.

So you didn’t feel prepared for a complex and emotional conversation with Ana right now. You just wanted a peaceful morning with your best friend, eating a nice breakfast, enjoying each other’s company, sharing one last hug before going to your respective national teams. After last night though, you weren’t sure if that was in the cards for you today.

Once you gathered enough courage to leave your bedroom, you were greeted by the smell of coffee and pancakes, your absolute favorite breakfast food. So at least the tasty breakfast part of your wish was being fulfilled.

Ana smiled at you gently and wished you a good morning when she saw you. You echoed her statement, readily excepting the cup of coffee she handed you. It made you happy how comfortable she felt in your apartment, almost as if she was your girlfriend making breakfast for you.

She wasn’t though! She was your amazing friend making breakfast for you, and that was nice too.

“Are you ready for national camp?” The Swiss woman asked while she plated the last of the pancakes and moved to sit at the table.

You took a sip of coffee to avoid having to answer straight away. This was a loaded question, with the potential of leading to a variety of difficult topics you didn’t have the strength to acknowledge right now.

“It’ll be nice to see everyone again,” you offered vaguely.

The blonde nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, that’s one of the best parts of national camp. I’m very excited to see Lia again.”

Ana’s eyes were shining with happiness and you could tell how much she was looking forward to seeing her Swiss friend again. It made you irrationally jealous. You had no right to feel like this, Ana was allowed to have other friends, and of course she should be happy to see them.

“Who are you most looking forward to seeing?” Ana carried on, thankfully completely oblivious to the jealousy burning inside of you.

Her question left you in a bit of a dilemma. There were some players you were always especially excited to see, but most of them were friends of Ana as well and you didn’t want to risk her telling them. Not when you were pretty sure that they would never give you as the answer to such a question.

“All of them really.”

It was more of a non-answer really, but you felt like the time you could take for answering such a simple question had ran out and it was the safest option you could think of.

“I know that they’re all excited to see you too,” the Swiss woman assured you.

You hummed in fake agreement, quickly changing the subject to Ana’s travel itinerary. It was nice of her to lie on your behalf; the blonde had probably caught on that the question had me you flustered. She was empathetic like that. Still, you didn’t want to linger longer than necessary on this.

Sadly, the morning passed way too quickly for your liking and all too soon it was time to say goodbye to Ana for now. You felt like crying, which was ridiculous, it wasn’t even two weeks before you saw her again.

The two of you hugged goodbye and you were relieved that the Swiss woman allowed the hug to last for a while, seemingly also in no hurry to walk away. However, when you finally let go of each other, it was still too soon for you.  

Ana smiled at you with gentle eyes and a slightly melancholy smile. Apparently you weren’t doing a good job at hiding your unhappiness if it was so obvious to her.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” The Swiss woman said. “Call me or text me whenever!”

Ana waited for you to nod, then she turned around, waving as she walked away. You had to take some deep breaths to stop yourself from bursting into tears right there in your doorway. However, you didn’t have time for a crying session right now; you had to get a move on to get to the airport on time.

You were ready in the nick of time, finishing a final check when you heard a knock on the door. It was Misa who had offered to pick you up so you could drive to the airport together.

“Ready?” The goalkeeper asked after greeting you, but one look at your face made her change her course of questioning. “Why the long face?”

You shrugged your shoulders. You really didn’t want to get into that right now.

“Well you better put on a poker face before the others see you, or Jenni will tease you to no end about your crush on Ana,” Misa advised.

“What? I don’t have a crush on Ana!” You shot back. „She’s my friend.“

Misa smirked. „Yeah sure, whatever you want to believe.”

“It’s the truth though!”

Your teammate raised her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay.”

You could tell that Misa didn’t believe you at all. But you didn’t feel like arguing any more, you most likely wouldn’t convince her either way. How could you when every reasoning you could possibly give her was a lie?

Heeding Misa’s advice you made sure to erase all sadness from your face before meeting up with the rest of your national teammates. Still, it only took a few minutes after the initial greetings were over for Jenni to approach you with a sly smile on her face. You had never wished for the ground to swallow you as much as you did in that moment.

The older woman threw an arm around you, pulling you close.

“So what’s going on with you and Anamari?” She whispered into your ear. However, she did so loudly enough for everyone in your vicinity to overhear and suddenly all of the attention zoomed in on you.

You freed yourself from Jenni’s holds, crossing your arms and challenging the black haired woman with a hard gaze.

“Nothing! We’re just good friends. Can we move on now?“

“Aw look at you being all firm. Does Ana like that?” Jenni teased.

You flushed bright red, very uncomfortable with this conversation.

“Leave her alone, Jenni!” Alexia commanded and you flashed her a thankful smile.

Jenni rolled her eyes, muttering something about how everyone always ruined her fun, but thankfully she listened to her ex-girlfriend. Though, you weren’t naïve enough to assume this wouldn’t come up again during camp.

It wasn’t until much later, when you were laying in your bed that you wondered how Jenni even knew about Ana and you. Not that there was anything going on, nothing mutual at least. But still, it seemed unlikely that she had come to that conclusion by herself all the way over there in Mexico.

Had Misa or Lola, who had both picked up on your crush a while ago, even though you had never confirmed their suspicions, talked to her about it? Or did she hear it from Ana herself? That would mean that the Swiss woman either had feelings for you as well or that she had realized you were in love with her at some point.

That second option made your anxiety spike through the roof. How embarrassing if Ana really knew! You desperately wanted to go and ask Jenni about her sources right this moment, but in the end you weren’t ready to endure the subsequent teasing.

Therefore you were forced to mull it over silently, trying to find some small scrap of evidence for any of the possible scenarios. It was a fruitless endeavor with the only result that you couldn’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning.

---

All in all the time at national camp was pleasant enough. You enjoyed being around all of your teammates, even if you had to put up with more teasing about Ana, mostly from Jenni. It wasn’t too bad though and you got better and better at just ignoring her comments.

You also took great care to suppress the goofy smile that always threatened to bubble up when you got a text from Ana. So you were doing your part to minimize the teasing you had to endure.

But then on the night before your last game the Swiss woman called you for the first time since you had parted ways, and it was at the most inconvenient time. You were hanging out with Jenni and most of the Barcelona girls when your phone started buzzing.

Your heart did a somersault when you noticed who was calling. You had wanted to call her every day, every hour really, but had refrained from doing so because you didn’t want to bother Ana. But now she was calling you!

Unfortunately Jenni was sitting right next to you, instantly seeing Ana’s name flashing on your phone. You could practically feel the glee radiating from her. However, you didn’t pay her any attention, too busy getting up and leaving the room while answering the phone. This wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have with an audience.

“Hi Ana,” you said almost at the doorway.

What you heard on the other side of the phone made you foolishly stop in your tracks. The Swiss woman was sobbing into the line and you wished with everything in you that you could crawl through the line to comfort your friend properly.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” You asked; panic seeping into your tone.

You only realized your mistake when you heard gasps behind you and turned around. And sure enough you were met by concerned faces all around. You waved them off, not really certain what you were trying to communicate with that gesture.

To avoid any more unwanted eavesdropping, you quickly left the room, just barely hearing Irene calling after you to come tell them what was going on once you finished your call. You nodded even though you had already closed the door behind you, so there was no way they could see it.

You kept talking to Ana while rushing to the privacy of your room, telling her that everything was going to be okay, that you were here, that she should try and take some deep breaths, that you would be on the phone with her as long as she needed. You weren’t sure if the blonde even processed a word of what you were saying, but at least this way you were doing something.

You were already seated on your bed for quite a while, repeating the same things over and over again, when Ana’s sobs finally died down.

“Sorry,” was the first thing the Swiss woman said. You desperately wanted to shoot that stupid word to the moon.

“No, no, you have nothing to apologize for! I’m happy you called me. I wish I was near you, so I could give you a hug or something. Do you want me to call Lia and tell her to come give you a hug? I mean I don’t have her number, but I could probably go and ask Mario.”

On the other side of the phone Ana chuckled softly, a noise that sounded heavenly after listening to her miserable crying for so long.

“That’s sweet, but I don’t want Lia just yet. I’ll go see her afterwards, but right now I just want to talk with you a little longer if that’s okay.”

“Of course! That’s more than okay,” you quickly reassured Ana.

Did it mean something that she preferred talking with you over talking with Lia? The Arsenal player was one of her oldest and best friends, so surely Ana should prefer her comfort, unless…No, you couldn’t go there! Especially not right now, when you should be focusing on making the blonde feel better.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You inquired gently.

There was a small pause, but then the words started tumbling from Ana’s mouth.

“Being here is just so frustrating! Ever since I dared to question some of Inka’s decision during the World Cup, respectfully and with sound reasons might I add, she acts as if everything I do is a direct attack on her. Today I brought Rio some water and for some reason Inka took that as me saying she’s overworking us and doesn’t care about our health? I feel like I can’t do anything without offending her.”

“And let’s be honest I don’t really care about hurting her feelings or whatever, she’s a big girl, but then she told me today she won’t play me tomorrow because I’ve been too disrespectful. And I haven’t even done anything! How insecure does a person have to be to act like this? I just wish we could get rid of her already!”

Ana’s voice was getting louder and louder, but suddenly she went all quiet again as if that last thing was too scary to utter it too loudly.

“I’m so scared at this point that I won’t get to play at the home Euros. And that’s my biggest dream. She can’t take that away from me.”

A fresh wave of tears began leaking from the Swiss woman’s eyes, but this time she was crying silently. The only giveaways were some sniffles and the sudden quietness.

You had been listening quietly while Ana spoke, going through your own emotional roller coaster. Knowing that the blonde was in so much turmoil, hearing it from a distance, was cracking your heart one word at a time, one tear at a time.

But you were also furious and if you would have been anywhere near that horrible coach you would have punched her right in the face. Not that violence was the answer, although maybe it was when someone was making Ana feel this miserable.

Then again Inka didn’t deserve any of your time or energy; both were much better spent by focusing on your friend.

“I’m sorry things are so bad right now and I wish there was more I could do, but I’m always here if you need to rant or talk and I can’t wait to see you again and be a real shoulder to cry on. I’ll give you the biggest hug the moment I see you,” you promised.

Ana let out a watery chuckle. “I can’t wait for that. I’m debating if I should just leave tonight,” she admitted.

“I get that, but don’t do that, it’ll only give Inka more ammunition. Try holding out a little longer, I have no doubt that her days are numbered and soon enough you guys will be rid of her. She’s ruining your national team and with such a big home tournament coming up, that’s the last thing your federation will want. And let’s be honest, you have to play at the Euros, you’re one of the biggest names Switzerland has, so it’ll be stupid to leave you out.”

Suddenly you were glad that you had spent a lot of time informing yourself about the Swiss national team, which of course included all of its recent problems. You had rationalized it to yourself by claiming you did so out of professional interest, but really you had wanted to know as much about Ana as you could. And now it was definitely paying off.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right and really it’s nothing compared to what you guys went through. I shouldn’t even be complaining-,” Ana apologized frantically.

“Don’t,” you stopped her, “Don’t do that. There’s no point in comparing bad situations and putting them in any sort of hierarchy. Things suck even if something might be objectively worse and it’s okay to feel bad about it. And it’s always okay for you to tell me about things that are bothering you.”

There was a short moment of silence and of course you instantly played back your words, trying to figure out what you could have done wrong. You probably had been coming on too strong, you should add that you always wanted to know what was going on with all of your friends in order to support them.

In fact, you were already opening your mouth to say exactly that, when Ana broke the silence, “Thank you so much. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. Really.”

Naturally, you noticed that the Swiss woman didn’t clarify that she was happy you were her friend and of course it stoked some foolish hope inside of you. Lately you had been trying to decide what was better, having false hope or having no hope. You hadn’t come to a conclusion yet, so you stayed in this weird state of in between, going from absolute hopelessness to overwhelming hopefulness.

After this you didn’t talk too much longer, Ana wanted to go and fill in Lia. This time you only felt a tiny hint of jealousy at the other Swiss woman, mostly you were relieved that someone close to Ana was going to give her a hug. Even if it would have been much better if it could have been you.

There was a knock on your door about ten minutes after you had hung up. You knew instantly who it was. The only surprise was that it had taken Jenni this long to come and find you. Preparing yourself for more teasing you opened the door.

However, you weren’t met by the usual grinning Jenni with mischief shimmering in her eyes, but by a serious woman wearing a concerned expression.

She waltzed right into your room once she noticed that you were off the phone, sitting down on your bed.

“Is Anamari okay?”

You tilted your head from one side to the other. „She isn’t great, but I think talking about it helped. She went to go be with Lia now.”

Jenni nodded. “That’s good. What was it about then?”

„Issues with the national team. I don’t really know how much I can say. Ana didn’t tell me not to talk about it, but I still don’t want to betray her confidence,” you declared.

Luckily Jenni accepted this easily. “You’re a good friend, chica. But are you sure you’re really just a friend?”

You sighed; of course the black haired woman had to bring this up again. Although, maybe this was your chance to get some more information about Jenni’s knowledge of Ana’s potential feelings.

“Do you know something? I mean did Ana tell you something?” You asked instead of answering the older woman’s questions, cringing at how obvious your eagerness was.

A small smirk crept back onto Jenni’s face. “Oh, no chica, just like you can’t tell me what Ana and you talked about, I can’t talk about what Ana and I spoke about.”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t really see much of an option to argue her point. It was fair enough, it was just also very frustrating.

Instead of continuing to tease you, Jenni’s expression quickly sobered when you stayed silent. “Look it shouldn’t matter what I possible know or don’t know about Ana’s feelings. You own feelings aren’t dependent on what she feels.“

This was shockingly wise from someone who often acted like a teenage boy. Then again it shouldn’t really be surprising to you because you were pretty familiar with this much more mature and serious side of Jenni that only her friends and family got to see.

And obviously she was right. Your feelings were there whether or not Ana returned them. However, you would never deliberately reveal them to anyone until you where 1000% sure that the Swiss woman also felt something more than friendship for you.

 Jenni let you stew in silence for a while, but when it became clear that you wouldn’t say anything else, she got up with a sigh. She knew there was no point in trying any longer tonight; you needed time to figure things out by yourself.

“Call me when you decide you’re ready to face your feelings out in the open,” she instructed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

---

A couple days later it was time to go back home and you were eager to do so. Still, you took the time to say a proper goodbye to everyone, especially Jenni. It would be a while before you saw her again. And even though she often annoyed you, you also appreciated her friendship.

“Remember what I said, yeah?” She reminded you once you parted ways.

You nodded, convinced that it would never come to this. You couldn’t see a future where you would open up about your feelings any time soon.

Back in Madrid you were faced with the awkwardness of having to tell Misa that you weren’t driving home with her. The moment you had figured out that Ana would arrive after you, you had decided to wait at the airport for her.

Of course you didn’t say as much to the goalkeeper, but she put two and two together easily.

“I won’t tease you right now because you’ve endured enough of that these last ten days, but girl open your eyes!” Misa exclaimed, then she gave you a hug and disappeared.

Why did no one realize that you weren’t oblivious to your own feelings? You were well aware of them, the problem were Ana’s feelings or the lack thereof.

The time waiting wasn’t spend very productive. You were too anxious to potentially miss Ana, so you just sat around staring at the sliding doors she should exit from long before there was any chance of her actually coming out.

When you read on the arrival board that her plane had landed, you suddenly worried that the Swiss woman might find this weird. You had thought it was a nice gesture and it allowed you to give the promised hug at the earliest moment possible, but it might come across as too much.

You had almost talked yourself into enough insecurity that you were going to leave, when you spotted Ana. A huge smile spread on your face and before you even fully registered that it was actually her, your mouth was already moving.

“Ana!“ You shouted.

The Swiss woman looked around, confusion clearly written on her face. However when she was you, the confusion morphed into pure joy. She rushed over to you, tackling you into a hug. It felt so nice, completely right somehow, to have the blonde in your arms again.

„What are you doing here?”  Ana asked, making no move to break the hug. And you sure as hell weren’t going to do so anytime soon.

“I wanted to give you the hug I owed you as soon as possible,” you explained, glad that Ana couldn’t see the blush on your face.

The Swiss woman tightened her hold on you.

“I’m so glad you did.”

At some point you did have to let go of each other, but before you could fully break apart, the Swiss woman caught your hand, intertwining your fingers. She looked at you searchingly; keen to make sure you were okay with this. There was little you had been more okay with in your life.

 “Do you want to come over?” Ana asked hopefully when you got into her car.

“I’d love to,” you responded. “And before I assume incorrectly again, do you prefer to talk about the national camp situation or would you rather just hang out as a distraction?”

Ana smiled at this; she really appreciated your question. At least for the night she actually wanted to think about other things than the national camp, and she told you as much. Therefore the two of you spent a relaxing evening together, ordering food, watching some TV, before going to bed relatively early.

Throughout the entire evening you carefully watched Ana for any hints she might have feelings for you too. And there were some signs, the way she looked at you, how she laughed at your jokes, the way she initiated physical contact whenever possible.

If you would be watching this as a neutral spectator there would be little doubt in your mind, that all of these were subtle clues hinting at a crush. But because it concerned you, you couldn’t be so sure.

And the most confusing thing was the matter of why the Swiss woman wouldn’t just tell you if she had feelings for you. You had been so obvious that everyone else had caught on, so if the feelings were mutual surely Ana would have told you by now?

The next morning when it was time to say goodbye, you once again felt sad. Which was even more ridiculous this time around because you would see each other again the next day.

When you got back to your apartment, you picked up the phone and called Jenni before you could second guess yourself. If you began thinking about it, you would lose your ability to act.

“You were right, I like her,” you stated without even saying hello.

On the other side of the line you could hear a happy squeal, “Finally! You will be so cute together, I can already see myself getting sick when we’re all going to hang out. Maybe you could take a trip over here during winter break.”

It was reassuring that Jenni seemed so sure that this would work out between you and Ana, but you couldn’t get your own hopes up like this.

“Slow down, Jenni. Just because I like her doesn’t mean we will end up in a relationship. I’m still not sure about Ana’s feelings.“

„Oh my god, I’ve never met anyone as oblivious as you! I know for a fact that Ana has been hinting at it for ages, but now that you’ve come clean I can confirm that she also has feelings for you.”

Your heart was soaring at these words. Did they mean what you thought they meant?

“Wait, are you saying Ana told you she liked me too?” You double-checked.

Jenni chuckled. “Yeah, let me spell it out for you; my dear friend Ana Maria Crnogorčević has told me, Jennifer Hermoso Fuentes, that she likes you.”

At this point even you found it hard to hang on to any lingering doubt, but still you managed to do so because there was one last thing bothering you.

“Then why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because Anamari asked me not to. She wasn’t totally sure if you really had feelings for her too or if you were just confused, so she didn’t want you to be influenced by her feelings. And even though I told her that was stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and that she should just let me tell you because you never believe anything until you get hit by a blinking neon sign, ultimately it wasn’t my decision.”

You couldn’t even be mad at Jenni’s comment about you needing things to be completely obvious; it was definitely true. But you also thought that no one could fault you for having a hard time believing that someone as wonderful as Ana wanted to be with someone as mundane as you.

“But I was so obvious,” you brought up one thing you couldn’t fully understand yet. How had there been any doubt in Ana’s mind?

“Chica, you kept saying things like you love her as a friend or you’re always happy to be there for your friends. Of course she had some doubts,” Jenni pointed out.

“But…But I only said that because I was so obvious otherwise and I didn’t want her to suspect anything,” you defended yourself, realizing how that sounded while you were still speaking. Suddenly it made a lot more sense why Ana hadn’t revealed her feelings to you before.

“Okay, okay, I heard it, don’t say anything, Jenni,” you quickly added, before the older woman could tease you about it.

Then something dawned on you. “Oh god, how do I ask her out though?”

Jenni snorted. “Just ask her on a date. It’s not that hard, you know she’ll say yes now. Just don’t over think it, even if that’s hard for you.”

You nodded, already over thinking it. Should you call Ana now? Should you ask her when you saw each other tomorrow? Should you text her in case she had somehow changed her mind since she last spoke to Jenni?

“I can hear you over thinking it all the way over here in Mexico!” Jenni scolded you. “Just do it. I’d love to hold your hand through it, but it’s the middle of the night here, so I need my beauty sleep. Not that I really need it, I’m pretty enough as it is, but still.”

A pang of guilt hit you. You hadn’t thought about the time difference at all.

“I’m so sorry, I woke you up, Jenni,” you apologized.

“Don’t be, this was a good reason to be woken up for. Go get your girl now,” Jenni instructed.

Despite this you apologized once again and thanked the black haired woman profusely, foolishly saying that you owed her one. Going by Jenni’s reaction you would come to regret this at some point, but that was for future you to worry about

Right now you had other things to worry about, like how to ask Ana out. Even if you had gotten confirmation that the Swiss woman liked you too, it still felt like this had to be perfect, otherwise she might suddenly have a change of heart. 

[surielstea]

Give ‘em a show

Based on this request.

Pairing: High Lord!Eris x High Lady!Reader

Summary: The autumn court celebrates the equinox with a great rite of their own, what happens when the High Lord finds out Reader left the Forest House in search for him?

Warnings: Smut | minors dni | p in v | reader and Eris are both aroused by a higher power (?) | breeding kink | riding | public sex (on throne) | dirty talk | praise | cream pie | multi-orgasm

A/N: Sorry this took me forever, but I’m really happy with how it turned out so I hope you guys enjoy! 🧡🧡

6.2k words

It was the most festive day of the year in autumn, the equinox. When both night and day are perfectly divided and everything feels at peace. We called it Mabon. The peak of nature's abundance.

The holiday usually entailed freshly harvested crops and feasts to satisfy an entire continent. People gathered to the crop fields and pray, whether it be for good fortune or the wealth of the earth it didn't matter. They honored the soil beneath their feet as much as any other living thing. Similar to Calanmai in the spring there are bonfires in every direction, dancing surrounding the pits.

This was also the day high Fae reinforced the wards around their homes, seeing it as a new beginning.

Some prefer to stay at home and pray to the gods of fire, knelt by the flames that warmed them, having a simple meal of bread and grain. I, however, did not. During the day I'd plant fresh herbs and seeds, placing them in the richest of soils then saying a soft prayer until they began to grow. My harvesting powers have always been my favorite, being able to merely look at a seed and turn it into a blooming flower in the blink of an eye would forever be my favorite party trick.

During the night of Mabon however, I indulged myself in the finest of whiskeys and got drunk as all hel, claiming it was a tradition and a night of commemoration.

"All done?" Eris asked as I came back into the Forest House, my knees covered in dirt from kneeling in the gardens.

"All done." I gave him a small smile and he mirrored it while taking my wide-brimmed sun hat from my head.

"As cute as you look, you need to go change." He hands me the hat and I blink up at him confused. "Or have you forgotten your duties as High Lady?" He arched a manicured brow and I rolled my eyes.

My traditions would be different this year. It was Eris' first year as High Lord, meaning he'd have to put on a show to make sure everyone knew just how powerful he was. Whatever that meant. This also means my job was no longer getting drunk off my face but rather waiting alone in our bedroom where we'd consummate in order to release the power of the High Lord and grace the land with it, allowing harvests and crops to grow until the next Mabon.

"High Lady or not, I'd like to spend my night in a pub with my friends, not some stuffy room with your advisors." I scowl and a smirk tugs at his lips as I drape my hands around his neck.

"A lady of her people." He hums and my grin widens.

"Does that mean you'll let me have my holiday?" I bat my lashes at him.

"I can't," He sighs.

"Eris," I whine. "You're high lord now, fuck me in front of the rest of them for all I care just let me enjoy myself." I plead and he gives me a sorrowful gaze.

"It'll only be a few hours, you'll survive." He placed his hands on my waist and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"But what if you find some other girl on your way to me? I don't like the idea of you roaming this court half naked for just anyone to see, Eris," I dramatically fall into his chest, he tightens his hold on me as if I'm actually going to fall.

"Trust me, all I'll want is you," He guides me back upright so I can stand on my own. "Now go get dressed." His hold on me loosens and I give him the nastiest scowl I can muster.

"Fine, but only because I love you." I excuse as I place the floppy hat atop his head, I think the pink bow brought out his eyes.

"Love you too," He smiles sloppily as I leave his hold, the sun hat remaining on his head as I move away from him, his hand coming down to pat me on the ass, as if encouraging a faster rate, making me toss a glare back at him.

In between now and the beginning of Mabon's night festivities I passed the late afternoon stuck in a meeting room, which was as boring as I thought it was going to be. I spent the entire time drawing the high lord in front of me, making sure to match the glint in his golden eyes to his crown, pure regality as he sat in front of Advisors that used to be in his father's corner.

It's been past an hour, the sun reaching the horizon had told me so, I could already smell the scent of smoke from the bonfires and I knew my time was being wasted. "My lady, are you listening?" I snap to attention, clutching my sketchbook from beneath the table and looking at the male who had snapped his fingers at me, earning a low grumble from Eris as a warning.

"Yes," I answer on instinct.

"Really?" Eris leans forward, muscular forearms resting against the wooden table.

"Mhm." I nod with slightly tinged cheeks, I could never lie to Eris, something about the mating bond, or rather just him, in general, had me somehow giving myself away.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you Fawn?" He narrows his gaze on me and it takes everything in my power to not give in, tell him that every word since greetings has gone in one ear and out the other. All this information was useless anyway, old rules that Beron followed. Not Eris. I don't understand why my mate entertained these old males.

"You know what?" A bright grin spreads over my features as I stand, my chair pushing back against the floor as everyone looks up at me.

"All of you may take an early holiday, enjoy the night, and spend time with your families." I dismiss and they blink up at me.

"Really?" One of them babbles.

"Yeah, really?" The high lord glared at me and my grin widened.

"Really." I nod.

"With all due respect, you're not one to be giving orders around here." The eldest of them scoffed and my smile faltered, I had never expected to hear that in my own court.

"She's your high lady and you will do as she says. Now go before I change my mind." He shoos the male away. Eris may not have liked me cutting the meeting short but he wasn't going to tolerate any discourtesy against me, it may have been wrong to use it to my advantage but all I wanted to do at the moment was curl up by the fire with a freshly poured glass of wine. Second best to getting hammered at the pubs like I would've been doing this time last year.

"You heard him, go." I make hands that send them away and they all scramble off, shuffling out the door with a haste I haven't seen in a while. I smile softly as the last male disappears.

"You are a cruel female." Eris leans back into his seat at the head of the table. I grab my sketchbook and walk down the long stretch of the meeting hall until I'm right beside him.

"Cruel? Or smart?" I tilt my head as I hoist myself up onto the table in front of him.

"Show me what you were drawing that entire time." He places a ringed finger on the top of my pencil and I flip to the page of his half-shaded figure, flipping around to show the male his unfinished portrait. A satisfied grin spreads over his lips as he sees that he is the subject, but he shouldn't be surprised because he is always the subject.

"Is this whole book me?" He flicks through the pages and I pull back before he can see all the drawings of him I sketched from memory on a particularly desperate night when he was gone on a mission.

"Don't be so full of yourself, I wasn't going to draw any of those old males." I roll my eyes and he chuckles. "Plus I was listening, I could draw you with my eyes closed," I confess and he raises a brow, his lopsided smirk making me feel warm inside. "Now can you please just get this celebration over with then come back to me?" I place the sketchbook beside me and look back at him.

"And what will you do while I'm gone?" He places his hands on my hips, a soft look in his eyes.

"Lots of drinking." I shrug, taking hold of his crown and making it crooked atop his head.

"You're quite the drunk." He grumbles and I chuckle.

"I'm a tavern keeper's daughter, what more do you expect?" I grin innocently and he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Alright, come with me," He slips his hand into mine and guides me out of the meeting room.

I intertwine our fingers, occasionally bumping into him, the comparison of his steady figure, walking with only solid steps and articulated movements contrasted to my bounding, my arm brushing his with every step. It was a silent kind of intimacy, our dynamic.

"This my cell for the night?" I ask as we stop in front of our bedroom, a grand suite that seems more like an apartment.

"Don't act like I'm locking you up," He sighs, crossing his arms.

"You're right, I could easily sneak out," I taunt and he narrows his eyes on me.

"I'm not going to put guards outside these doors, however, if I learn that you've left I will find you," He says, his tone shifting from playful to menacing all in one sentence. "And depending on where you are, I might just fuck you in front of all of them," His words sink to my core, it wasn't much of a warning if it was my idea to begin with.

"Don't threaten me with a good time," I smirk up at him, mirroring his.

"I'll be back for you, soon," He promises, free hand coming to my jaw, the other still preoccupied with mine. His thumb rubbed over my jaw, pressing with a pressure that told me he didn't want to see this room empty when he returned.

"I'll be waiting," I sigh, leaning into his hand. He frowns.

"I'm sorry Fawn, but I doubt I'll be able to control myself with you so near," He shifts back to his usual self, the compassionate one.

"I understand, it's okay," I mumble, even if this was the last place I wanted to be during the holidays. He leans down and presses a yearning kiss onto my lips, the kind full of promise of what was to come later tonight.

He pulls away with a reluctance I immediately recognized. Whatever power that was going to consume him tonight was already forming, I could feel it through the bond like someone on his side of the tether was sparking embers.

"Don't leave this room." He warned one last time and all I could do was nod and then watch him leave.

I had never wanted to leave a room more in my entire life.

Eris forgot to put his shields up on his side of the bond and it was driving me fucking mad. I could feel the power of him, flowing through the very floorboards beneath my feet. His arousal was immense, or perhaps it was mine— I wasn't sure. Maybe being High Lady had its own effects, maybe it made the mated female just as willing to consummate with the High Lord. The intense heat running up and down my spine reminded me of when Eris and I had accepted the mating bond, The Frenzy that took over both of us full throttle, I had managed that because he had been so near at the time, it had only lasted a few moments before he was touching where I needed him most but this, with him so far, gods this was unbearable.

I looked out the window like an animal eagerly waiting for their owner to return, but I couldn't see anything beyond the maple trees, only the smoke of the bonfires and all that promised with it.

I leaned my forehead against the cold window, it relieved me for only a split second before the heat of my body returned.

It started less than an hour ago, bloomed right at my core, and has only grown since. It would reach my head soon and I don't know what I'd do at that point. I had already put the fire in the hearth out but it felt as if I was the furnace and embers were still popping against my bare skin that mistook me for kindling.

I had practically stripped to my socks, but even my undergarments had been too much to bear. I wore a silk slip with a lace trim that was lighter than a feather and softer than anything I had ever felt before but on my burning skin, it felt like a winter coat.

If the window was cold then outside must've been colder, autumn air sweeping over the continent and beckoning at my very window, who was I to keep it out?

I pushed the window open with a grunt in agony, the sweet feeling of the light breeze kissing against my skin practically made me crumble in relief.

I latch the window all the way open and lean my head out the sill, the sound of music and cheering in the distance suddenly became so prominent but it was hard to hear anything over the blood rushing to my ears, dizziness consuming me as I grip the ledge of the window, something buried deep inside of me yearned for him in the direction of the music, and now that my head was out the window my body seemed to think I was teasing it, what it wanted so much closer now that the line to the outside world was crossed, the feeling so intense I thought I might start coughing up blood.

I grunt, attempting to talk myself through the pain, telling myself repeatedly that I've endured worse, that I was stronger this, that Eris would be back any moment now and— and oh gods, Eris. It was a mistake to let him cross my mind because all of a sudden he consumed every thought I could conjure, my mind in his hands and he was gripping it, not willing to let go.

I decided I didn't give a fuck if Eris was mad if I left the house, the pain I was enduring was horrific and the only way to relieve it was to disobey exactly what he ordered me to do. Don't leave this room. I slipped out the window with gasps of pain, landing on the soft grass. I was just grateful to be located on the first floor, close enough to the ground to jump from without shattering the bones in my legs.

Hounds rush up towards me before I can even take my first step.

They looked as if they were about to bark, to alert their owner that I had left the house but they saw my desperation, hel, they probably smelt it.

Rivin, the eldest of the shadow hounds rushed up to me first, staring up at me with a cock of his head, clearly concerned for my well-being. "Can you take me to Eris?" I murmur, praying the dog can understand me, I bring my hand to his snout and he chuffs, licks the palm of my hand then takes off running towards the sounds of the music.

I tried to stay as close as I could to the dog, he had taken the route through trees and behind stands, which I was grateful for since it kept me out of sight, however, it made it a lot easier to lose him amongst the trees. But he always came trotting back after a minute without him in my sights.

Eventually, the dog stopped in his tracks, his front paws prancing at the floor and communicating that he had finished his job. I creased my brows and looked around my surroundings but before I could talk to the dog again he ran off with the rest of his pack, back towards the house.

I had only just realized that whatever heat that was suffocating me in the Forest House had dissipated, still lingering below the surface but no longer unbearable.

I huffed, unsure what to do in the middle of the forest with a feeding wretchedness in the pit of my stomach.

I decided on heading towards where the largest plume of smoke was coming from, I had seen the set up of Mabon hundreds of times and knew this was the way to the throne, knew Eris must be sat upon it.

I hadn't explored Mabon much during previous years, I was always a barmaid for my father's pub, it had gotten crazy business during the week of Mabon so he needed any help he could get, funnily enough, that's how I met Eris.

I shake my head at the memory, thinking about Eris was almost painful, it felt like something was being carved out of me every moment I was without him.

I seethed a string of curses as I continued my trudge through the trees, staying in the shadows and avoiding the eyes of any drunk wanderers. I doubted they'd recognize me as their high lady anyway, Eris was the only one who ever saw me outside of my gowns and robes, this lacy slip was practically lingerie compared to the heavy dresses I often wore.

Lucky for me it had blended in with the other girls perfectly, in fact, I had seemed more covered up than most. Once I had made it out into the open area I spotted Eris immediately. On the throne, as expected, his legs spread wide and I wanted nothing more than to put myself between them.

He was shirtless, forest green paint smeared onto his body in tribal patterns of lines and dots, but he was glistening in sweat, drops running down the side of his face, through the grove of his abdomen. I didn’t want to think about who had the honor of putting that paint into those very groves, I only wanted to think about being the one to wash it off.

Heat pooled in my stomach as his eyes found mine from across the way, my body went rigid as he trekked his gaze down it, then so slowly back up, taking in every bare inch as well as every clothed part of me, like he was wondering just how perfect I looked underneath.

My knees shook as he lifted his hand and with two fingers waved me over. Waves of heat wash over me at every step I take closer, the power that radiated off of him left me defenseless, and the pain I had experienced earlier subsided entirely in favor of morphing into arousal.

Once I reach the dais I curtsy with a playful smile. "I thought I asked you to stay inside?" He purred, his voice rougher than usual, making my legs tremble.

"I missed you," I shrug, attempting to keep my composure but he opened his side of the bond entirely as soon as I was done speaking and my knees buckled. So, much, power.

It surged at my fingertips, blazed down my spine, and coiled in my abdomen. I couldn't imagine how Eris felt if I was only receiving an influence of it.

"C'mere," He lifts his hips, readjusting them in his ornate throne and I almost choke on my own tongue. He was going to push me over that dangerous edge and he didn't even need to say anything to do it.

I take the steps up the dais and I realize the silence in the crowd save for the music, people were watching, and couldn't keep their eyes off of the two of us. The offering between High Lord and Lady, the melding bond between us so clear on a night like this that any outsider could see that golden tether just as well as he or I could.

"On my lap, Fawn," He glances down to his thigh and I swallow thickly. "Oh, don't tell me you've become shy all of the sudden?" He smirks at the idea. I had told him I was willing to let him fuck me in front of all these people— still was, and yet sitting on his lap was the line to the path that I wasn't sure I could come back from.

My coaxing arousal won the battle and I took my final steps toward him, closing that distance, his hand came to the back of my thigh and I nearly melted at his touch, my body quivering in reaction because gods, if I had felt like a kindling fire earlier then he was a fucking inferno.

His fingers singed with flames but I felt none of the added heat as I took my place on his lap, straddling over his thigh and wrapping my arms around the nape of his neck, pulling him so close I wish I could've melted right into him, slotted myself into each of his grooves and stayed there, impossible to clean, impossible to get rid of.

My lips came to his neck without any forethought, I didn’t have control over my own mind, it was entirely consumed by him, his intoxicating scent of cinnamon, clove, and now an undertone of something different, something just as mouth-watering as the way his hands felt on my bare skin.

I fought the thoughts that told me to rip my dress off and decided to put my hands to better use and rub them down his chest, pressing my palm into his abdomen as I continued kissing his neck. I sucked and licked and nipped without caution, I didn't care if others were watching, he had never been more powerful than he was in this moment, both over others physically and over me mentally.

The domination running through his veins was attractive, so damned powerful and yet he knew how to control it, to conceal it beneath his skin rather than flaunt it, and he shared a fraction of it with me, a simple kernel of it was enough to send me spiraling.

"What are you doing? Dance," Eris spits at his subjects and they immediately do as he says, the music picking up in a crescendo of rushed notes to meet his demand.

I smiled against his shoulder at how much authority he held, my hips involuntarily winding over his thigh and I let out a soft, pleasurable sound. He grunts in return.

"If you keep making those sounds we're not going to make it back to our bedroom," He warns lowly beside my ear and I rut my hips again at the perfect sound.

"I don't know what's wrong— fuck," I'm cut off by my soft moan, his muscled thigh providing just the right amount of friction against my clit. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I need you to fuck me now," I plead and I sense a sudden change in his demeanor.

"Now?" He hums and I can hear the smirk in his voice. Damned bastard. "In front of all these people?" He intones and I nod helplessly.

"However you want me, wherever, just— gods do it now," I beg, continuing to wind my hips over his thigh.

His foxlike smirk doesn't falter as his hands grip my hips, halting my needy movements only to guide me down onto his thigh himself, my core aching as he does so. I cry out at the feeling, it shouldn't have felt this good, it's never been this intense, even when our mating bond clicked I hadn't been so consumed by his fire that was so dangerously out of control and feeding into my own.

"I need you inside of me," I murmur, coming to the conclusion that this torment will not subside until he finds release inside of me, the mother herself was impelling us to consummate, to breed, and I was more than willing to oblige for her.

"Eris," I grip at his shoulder, paint smearing onto my hands, soiling my nightgown. But I didn't care, any piece of him spreading onto me felt like it was a gift from the gods, and I needed more. "Please, fill me," I beg into the warmth of his neck.

"You want me to come inside you? Want these people to watch while I give you an heir?" He taunts, his words ghosting against the shell of my ear. I reply with a pitiful whimper, unsure what to retort with because he was right. I didn't care who was watching, as long as they knew I was his and he was mine.

"Yes," I pant, my hand coming to the back of his neck. "That's exactly what I want," I plead, the rutting of my hips not slowing for a moment. "Show them I'm yours,"

My words seemed to push him over that fine line and he had obeyed. His rough hands grip my waist, pulling me over his hips so I was no longer straddling his thigh but rather angled just above his cock that was strained in his pants, the confinement so tight it almost seemed painful.

“Yeah?” He hummed and I nodded helplessly. “You want everyone to hear just how pretty your moans are when you’re sitting on my cock?” He asked and I whimpered, feeling powerless under his stare. Whatever heat that had been affecting me tonight had doubled over with his arousing words.

“I can’t be gentle with you right now,” He gritted through clenched teeth, the tip of his nose drawing a line up the side of my throat. “Can’t, control myself right now,” He murmured in warning and I smiled at the idea of having an effect on him as much as he did on me.

“I don’t want control,” I sigh against the side of his neck. “I need you now controlled or not, so please, Eris fuck me,” I begged and with one last kiss to my neck he obliged.

With an expert hand, he tore my underwear right from my hips, pulling the lace off like it was nothing. My heat was now left bare but it didn’t stop me from grinding down onto his bulge. I was staining his pants with my slick, dripping down onto him and he groaned as my wetness seeped through the material.

“Fuck, you’re drenched,” He admired and I nodded with purely innocent eyes, the kind that silently pleaded for him to fill me until he was satiated.

All I felt was hunger, and I could tell by the way flames alighted in his gaze that he felt it too.

Quickly, he removed his leathers and his cock springs up, smacking against my soaked folds, my pussy leaking over his length. The heat between us must’ve been record-breaking, I felt like a candle burning all too fast, making a mess of wax that he was too slow to clean.

The moment I felt his tip prod at my entrance my nails dug into his shoulder. I still didn’t know what it was that was wrong with me, I had never experienced an ache quite like this, the kind that only he could patch over.

“Please,” I cry, my cunt weeping as I crave for him to sink his length into me. “Show them how good you fuck me,” I mewl and perhaps it was the taboo factor of it all, how thrilling it was to have an audience while I rode him, but that had been his breaking point before he gripped the tops of my thighs and pushed me down onto his length.

My breath catches in my throat as I stretch around him, around every inch of him. He was so very large, and on any other night he’d need to fuck me with his fingers first, make sure I was ready for his member without the pain, but tonight we are both so needy that any foreplay was thrown out the window the moment I left our bedroom.

The pain was disguised as pleasure as he helped guide me lower onto him, it hadn’t been unbearable since I was slick with a natural lubricant, my arousal dripping down my thighs and onto his, as I took him deeper and deeper.

I swore he met places he’s never touched before, and fuck was it more than anything I had ever wanted.

This feeling was the god ecstasy prayed to, and I was blessed by it.

“That’s it, just like that, fuck yourself on my cock Fawn,” He encourages and I gasp out my moan, finally reaching his base, pressing against it with mine.

“Your court is watching, give ‘em a show for me,” He purrs, and so I do exactly that.

I begin to lift on his length, my knees buckling at the action but I ignore the pain and favor it for the pleasure as I drop down onto him, wielding gravity as my weapon. He lets out a low grunt and I do it again, continuing the action over and over again, bouncing on his cock just like he asked.

“Fuck, so good for me,” He praised, his eyes blazing with an untamable fire. “Such a good girl,” He sighs, his head craning back, leaning into his golden throne as his hands slip beneath my nightgown.

He didn’t take the dress off, because there were simply just some things he refused to let anyone else see, and though I was getting off on having an audience he wasn’t going to let everyone else get off on it too. He grips my hips tightly from beneath the slip, his callouses scraping against my soft skin, burning it with an unyielding pain, the kind that brings pleasure with it.

His cock seemed just as hot as I continued to fuck myself on it, the vein on the underside pulsing so feverishly I could feel it. The head of him pressed right into that sweet spot and it was a miracle I hadn’t come yet, gods he was going to send me over that edge any second now.

My lips connect with his, and he responds to the familiar feeling on instinct, his tongue slipping beneath my lips and tasting every fraction of me he can get his mouth on.

I moan onto his tongue every time he presses that deep spot inside of me, my noises only adding to the sound of skin slapping and the lewd sound of my pussy taking every inch of him. Our own music drowned out the symphony playing for the others.

“Eris, I can’t,” I pant against his lips. “I’m gonna come,” I warn and he smirks.

“So soon?” He taunts and I nod pitifully, continuing to rut my hips over his.

“Please, it hurts,” I whine, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. And it did hurt, it hurt to not be granted that release I craved so desperately.

“Go ahead, make a mess all over my lap,” He allows and I would’ve wept at the words if my orgasm hadn’t consumed me first.

It felt like pure fire, setting me aflame and impossible to control. It was the kind of climax that lingered for hours on end, the kind that left my legs jolting and my eyes struggling to open. I let out a loud moan, so loud that if the dancing fae hadn’t known what had been happening, they did now. “You did so well baby,” He hums as I slowly come down from my high but I don’t have the strength to lift off his cock, and I definitely didn’t have the willpower to continue my movements. My thighs were burning and I hadn’t noticed until my climax settled.

“You done?” He coos and I nod, but the tone of his voice tells me it is him who is nowhere near finished with me, his member still hard inside of me evidence of that.

He didn’t warn me before he winnowed us back to the Forest House, the same position except he was no longer sitting on the throne but rather our bed.

I whine, falling limp against his shoulder. “I can’t take anymore, Eris,” I sigh and he shakes his head.

“Oh, no baby you said you wanted an heir and I’m going to give one to you.” He flipped us over so I was splayed out on my back, sinking into the mattress with my legs hooked around him.

“Eris I’m not on a tonic— fuck,” I try but he felt so much deeper in this position.

“Does it feel like I care?” He sighs into my hair and I shake my head no. “That’s right, now be a good girl and stay true to your word,” He demanded and I swallowed thickly, nodding while he lifted one of my legs up to hook on his shoulder, spreading my legs wide as I clamped down onto him.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to fill this pretty pussy, squeezing me so tight,” He grunted and I lost all cohesive thoughts, strings of moans escaped me as he rolled his hips down onto mine, his full balls slapping against my folds as his pace quickened.

“More,” I plead.

“Yeah? You want me to fill you don’t you?” He says and I was quick to show my agreement by squeezing around him tighter. “You just can’t wait to have my babes, isn’t that right?” He grunted into the shell of my ear and I nodded with a hum of restless accord. “Your tits are gonna be so fucking swollen,” He sighs and I clench around him at his dirty words. “You like that?” He kisses up my neck.

“Mhm, want your seed in me, Eris,” I whine and he twitches, a sign he’s nearing his climax.

I was hungry for his warm release, ached for it to fill my every crevice, let it seep into my womb.

I met his thrusts with my own sudden desire, sending my hips down onto him while he drove his cock right into that spongy bundle of nerves.

“I’m close,” He grunts.

“Me too,” I whimper, my legs locking up as my orgasm races to meet me.

My hands go into his hair and I pull at his short locks as my second climax finds me and I’m squeezing around him tighter than ever before. My walls flutter around him, and my pussy twitched as he continues his fast pace. He groans at the intense convulsions around him and suddenly his release is spurring out into me, kissing my cervix as he does so, his seed shooting out on a straight path to my womb.

“Fuck,” He sighed while guiding my leg down from his shoulder, and with a few more languid, slow strokes of his cock he finishes, slipping from my heat and falling down onto the bed beside me, both of us out of breath and settling over the action we had just committed to.

I clench my thighs shut, keeping his warm seed nestled inside of me. “Good?” I ask and he flips onto his side, arm slinging over my sweat-slicked body, pulling me into him.

“So good.” He presses kisses to the top of my head and I flip around to face him, my eyes heavy with exhaustion.

“I think I like this High Lord stuff,” I say, my hand coming to his cheek and he chuckles, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

“I think so too,” He whispered against my mouth, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up,” He sat up, pulling me with him and I groaned. “You can sleep after, I promise, Fawn,” He said with a gentle tone that rivaled his earlier rough grunts.

“Eris please, just lay with me for a few more minutes,” I huff stubbornly and he shakes his head, hauling me from the bed and taking me to the connected bathroom.

“I’ll lay by you all night after I clean you up. Sound like a deal?” He says, settling me down onto the cold counter that sent shivers up my spine and I lazily nodded, looking up at him. He grins and leans closer, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you,” He whispers and I match his smile.

“Love you too, Eris.” I look up at him with only honesty in my gaze. “Now hurry up, I’m tired,” I grumbled and he chuckled.

“Alright, alright.” He shakes his head in disbelief, wetting a cloth with warm water before beginning to clean me up, treating me with utter tenderness after he gave me the two best orgasms of my life. This male was going to be the death of me, and I was going to love every moment of it until that day.

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[k8martins]

*✸ naked in manhattan

summary: reader is kate martin’s first love and wants to reconnect after she comes to new york for the draft, based on naked in manhattan by chappell roan

request: no / yes

warnings: some suggestive stuff towards the end

a/n: i lovvvved this rec i really hope i did it justice… got carried away again and i’m lowkey drunk rn so

“hey kate, it’s me… congrats on the draft! i know we haven’t talked in forever and you’re busy but um… i don’t know, maybe we could meet up sometime? if you want? just let me know. bye.”

the fact kate didn’t answer the call at all made you rethink your choices of not just calling her, but buying a ticket to the draft. your stomach churned after leaving the voicemail, cringing at all of the awkward pauses. you spoke cautiously out of fear of misspeaking somehow, even though you rehearsed the message a thousand times beforehand. it’s like you knew she wouldn’t answer, but still anxious that she didn’t. did she choose not to pick up? is she even thinking of me? all of the torturous scenarios ran through your thoughts, but you ultimately chalked it up to her being obviously busy.

either way, kate had to have at least acknowledged being in the same state as you again; new york. there’s no way she could’ve simply forgotten all the years of dating through high school, and eventually the painful breakup early into freshman year of college. the relationship between you and kate was near perfect; you complimented each other physically and emotionally, and everyone considered you and her as a power couple. there was no doubt that you wouldn’t stop loving kate even after breaking up for the sake of long distance. you had tried to make it work, but kate’s busy schedule and being in different states made for a rough patch in the relationship. the break up inevitably left both of you on good terms, but the constant busyness in both your lives ended up drifting you away from each other. you still exchanged small texts here and there for birthdays or holidays but both of you simply let it happen, since there was pretty much no time to work things out. days without talking turned into weeks, then months, then years without a full and genuine conversation. it broke your heart, but you knew kate was pursuing her dreams out in iowa, and you were doing the same in new york.

you stared at tomorrow’s wnba draft ticket sitting on your desk in your small apartment. it was a sign of a girl that you once knew inside and out; a girl you still tended to imagine roaming through your apartment as if you lived together, as if things were still the way they were before. your mind analyzed the times both of you would talk about eventually living together, and experiencing future years together. the way kate’s eyes would light up at the possibilities of doing anything with you; the mundane or the magical. the more you thought about your old relationship with kate, the more it validated you in wanting to meet up with her. it didn’t have to be anything more than a friendly hang out, but deep down you wanted her back more than anything. realizing these thoughts took your breath away, you forced yourself to breathe deeply and shake kate away from your mind. at least for a little bit.

——————————————————————————

your playlist wasn’t exactly helping you stay calm while getting ready for the draft. listening to music was always a way you tried to get your mind off things, but as chappell roan sang her song it was like she knew about your situation with kate.

“in new york, you can try things,

an inch away from more than just friends”

you skipped the song and continued applying mascara. still, your heart pounded at the thought of seeing kate at the draft. even before you bought a ticket, you envisioned the night in your head; tall and beautiful kate walking up to the stage, her enchanting blue eyes meeting yours from the crowd. kate wasn’t even sure of getting drafted for certain, but you had high hopes for her.

getting up from your desk, you walked over to the full mirror. you kept it casual, wearing a long black dress and minimalistic jewelry. would kate even notice me in the crowd? did she even listen to the voicemail? the thoughts were never ending, but you had to move forward. you grabbed your keys and headed out the door.

as you stepped into the draft building, you wouldn’t be surprised if you fell over right there. an endless sea of guests filled the room with dim overhead lights and a large sprawling stage up front. you found your seat in the way back and waited. recognizing all of the accomplished athletes was nothing compared to who you were really looking for. you craned your neck looking for kate, eventually landing on a girl with long blonde hair down her back, assuming it’s her. you stared at the back of her head as if it held a secret message, replaying your past memories with her in your head over and over. the girl you considered an extension of yourself was now in the same room as you for the first time in years, but far away, and on a completely different track in life. still, you thought of your voicemail, glad you at least reached out.

your eyes were glued to kate when all of a sudden she turned her head and looked behind her. immediately looking away, you were too late as she picked you out in the crowd, noticing your stare. out of the corner of your eye, you saw her do a double take on you. it was like the eye contact alone knocked the wind out of you, and your body rushed with emotion. kate now knows you’re here.

the draft was a long process, but something you were willing to sit through, because you knew kate had great things coming. at one point, a woman was announcing the 18th overall pick for the las vegas aces, and you monitored the movement around kate. people had moved near her with cameras, and all eyes were on her. your heart raced as you realized you were watching your ex girlfriend’s dreams come true right in front of your eyes, except you weren’t necessarily apart of it. you ached as you wished so deeply to be sitting next to her, still as her established lover, and supporting her through and through. you had told her during the breakup that you support her no matter what, but it was never the same since the split.

“with the 18th overall pick, the las vegas aces select, kate martin.”

you knew it. your mouth hung open as you watched kate get up and walk towards the stage, just as you imagined so many times before. the people who hugged her on her way up were watched with envy. yet you still joined in on the roaring applause, your eyes growing teary. it was all hitting you at once; how you regretted ever drifting from her, and how badly you desired to be with her every step of the way. why did i ever let that happen?

kate stood on stage holding up her new vegas jersey for a picture. her gorgeous appearance hadn’t changed much since you last saw her, except for the perfectly straightened hair and minimal makeup, which you remembered she never knew how to do complex makeup looks anyway. you then began to daydream about doing it for her, but snapped out of it when she began to step off stage. you didn’t want to make eye contact with her again, but couldn’t take your gaze away from her. and sure enough, you locked eyes again as she walked back to her seat. basically flinching, you looked away and felt irritated at yourself. you sat through the rest of the draft until it came to a close.

——————————————————————————

the stone wall was cold on your back as you stood outside for fresh air. you weren’t going to leave just yet in hopes for the traffic and commotion to die down a bit. you were checking your phone repeatedly, growing tired and doubtful, uncertain if you even cared about meeting up with kate anymore. it was late, and the night was cool. everyone you watched had someone, and somewhere to go home to. hand in hand with their other half, walking away into the night. again, your mind replaced every couple you saw with you and kate. you checked your phone once more for any updates, and felt nothing when there was none. the blank home screen kickstarted your brisk walk to the car, trying not to get too upset. you threw yourself down in the drivers seat when you felt your phone buzz.

“where you at?”

damn you kate. as your heart dropped to your stomach, you nearly teleported out of the car. forgetting to even reply to her, you aimlessly started down the crowded streets. numerous people gave you looks as you quickly shoved against the flow of people. one person in particular had muttered criticism as he moved past you. you stopped in your tracks to turn around and yell an apology, and kept walking with your head still turned behind you. suddenly, your whole body grew tense as you felt a stern grip on your shoulders. whipping your head around, you were face to face with kate martin. unable to stifle your reaction, you slightly yelped with wide eyes. kate laughed at both your reaction and the unreal feeling of seeing you again.

“kate!” you exclaimed, throwing up your hands in disbelief while looking her up and down.

she simply hugged you in response. it was a swift motion of being swept into her arms, a tight hold as if you were going to disappear. you could’ve stayed like that forever and wouldn’t mind. your body nearly went numb with the overwhelming feeling.

“congratulations, kate. i’m so proud of you,” you managed to say within her iron grip.

kate pulled away and thanked you. “you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for this moment,” she admitted. and now that you saw it, you noticed the emotion in her face as well.

before you could say anything, she moved her hands back to your shoulders saying, “we have to go, there’s still a ton of people trying to see me but i only wanted to see you.” she rushed the second half of the sentence but you could tell she was being genuine.

you grabbed her hand and led her to your car in order to escape from the media. hand in hand, the two of you were practically jogging. despite the fast getaway, kate was trying to tell you how she was happy to see you at the draft. giggling like an idiot, you both got in your car and caught your breath.

“i cannot believe you’re in my car right now,” you said, looking over at her with your best ‘i want you so bad’ look.

“i can’t believe i ever let you go,” kate said, casually looking away after saying the most un-casual thing ever.

your heart skipped a beat. the way you looked at each other was like you never left high school, and you never broke up. all the feelings were still right were you kept them, and kate reciprocated.

“so… where are we gonna go?” you asked sheepishly. the question was obviously meant to address the present moment, but you also hoped she would read between the lines and answer it in the context of your relationship. either way, you didn’t care what happened that night. you just wanted to be with her and nothing else.

“hm… the bars are gonna be packed so…” kate trailed off, looking back at you.

“are you saying you wanna go back to my place? wowww kate moving a bit fast,” you joked, making her laugh and blush.

“we’re not strangers babe. you know me so well,” she said with her addicting smile. it’s like she was purposefully trying to stop your heart. anything and everything she said or did made you crazy.

“fine we can chill at my place.”

as soon as you pulled out of your parking space, the years between you and kate not speaking were erased and forgotten. the conversation started up immediately and didn’t die down until you got to your apartment. hearing kate’s lovely laugh was something you missed so dearly while talking to her, along with the stupid jokes she would make. it was all the same old kate you knew before.

you keyed into your apartment and let your hands fall at your sides.

“well, this is where i’ve been livin’. it’s not much but it’s cute i guess.”

kate seemed weirdly impressed with your apartment. “you guess? this is actually so cute! the decorations…” she mumbled as she ran her fingers along the counter tops and looked all around.

here she was once again re-enacting the exact scenarios you imagined in your head. slowly walking through your apartment, taking everything in. it was as if the stars aligned, but you had to keep your cool. for what, you weren’t sure.

“so… i have a few drinks if you still feel like drinking,” you gestured towards the fridge as she closely walked past you. she smelled faintly of a nice perfume which made your head swim. all you wanted to do was climb on her and kiss the way you used to, but still weren’t certain she wanted to do the same just yet.

the night descended into many shared drinks sitting on the couch watching dumb shows. the two of you finished cup after cup, with almost no end in sight. kate’s draft gave an actual good excuse to drink, and both of you took it up without fail. your vision was growing hazy and you had trouble even speaking, but kate still looked stunning sitting in front of you. neither of you cared how late it was getting, although you were still concerned of kate’s plans.

“don’t you have to like… go to vegas or something?” you slurred your words, smiling dumbly at kate.

“no, not yet. i’m staying here for a few days.”

you could hear the intoxication in her voice.

“are you sure?” you questioned, laughing at nothing.

kate gave you a look and it became apparent that she had places to be, but simply didn’t care to leave your side. the way she looked at you made you proud of your self control. you didn’t want to move too fast after not seeing her for years, but the chances of taking it slow were becoming more and more slim. either way, she still made you nervous with her devious looks.

“i’ll be… right back, i just wanna… change out of this dress real quick. it’s so annoying,” you blubbered to kate and stumbled towards your room.

“woah wait you’re gonna fall,” kate laughed at you and got up, following close behind you.

“no i’m notttt!” you made it to your room and began doing everything but taking your dress off. your drunken state made it hard to actually change out of your clothes. you stood there merely tugging at your dress and pulling at the straps. both of you burst out laughing at your stupid mannerisms, another moment you missed.

“here lemme help you,” kate muttered.

you were still giggling a bit as kate gently took the hem of your dress and pulled it up above your head.

“i’m not looking by the way,” she said.

“girl look all you want,” you practically begged.

so there you stood in your bra and undies, in front of a fully clothed kate. she looked you up and down with a knowing smile. she stepped even closer to you and placed her hands on your waist. you looked up at her and you looked in each others eyes with the same desires in mind. your mind swam desperately, trying to find the perfect words to say, but too drunk to succeed.

“kate… i’ve been wanting.. missing…” you started off.

“i know, baby…”

she was still able to read you. although you were too drunk to acceptably articulate words, she gently cupped your face and pulled into a deep kiss. it was like a part of you was unlocked again, a part that was hidden away for so long. you ran your hands through her highlighted hair and grasped it, making her groan into the kiss. her hands were unable to stop roaming your body, a place she hadn’t explored in quite some time.

she broke the kiss to sit down on the bed, and gesturing for you to get in her lap. you laughed in excitement and also relief that she wanted to do the exact things you did. you essentially straddled her lap as she immediately reconnected the kiss. your mind was in disbelief that you were finally making out with kate martin again. the kiss was meaningful and hungry, it was a wordless way to tell you everything you needed to know. it told you about everything you had missed. you pulled away to breathe and she instantly connected her lips to your neck. remembering how she is, you realized you were in for several hickeys.

“kate baby… go easy on the… the hickeys…”

“yeah right,” she said breathlessly.

you bit your lip and succumbed to the melting feeling of her lips on your neck and collarbones, which was its own form of intoxication. you were willing to let kate do whatever she wanted to you. your trust was still there.

the effect of the drinks had still not worn off as each movement began to blend into the next, smudging together in your thoughts like a romantic impressionist painting. kate had less clothes on, and both of you were ending up in different positions than remembered. but things were objectively slowing down, as the both of you grew tired. kate had moved you onto your back, lazily and slowly kissing down your body.

you felt yourself beginning to drift off as kate simply rested her head on your chest. her blonde hair was now very messy, her beautiful face now exasperated and lips puffy from extensive kissing. you began stroking her hair and almost let yourself doze off before kate began to mumble.

“i love you.”

the phrase alone almost woke you up entirely.

“i love you more kate.”

it was then you could finally fall asleep, with the world in your arms.

[mysterystarz]

silk sheets

ryomen sukuna x gn!reader

in which you end up back at a good friend’s place and realize that you need him just as much as he needs you

warning: mentions of alcohol/drinking, one mention of sleeping beauty but as a joke, sukuna may be slightly ooc, a tad suggestive

a/n: forgive the bad writing i’m thinking thoughts

dedicated to @seeingivy bc ronnie is the best writer ever <3

you weren’t quite sure how you got here tonight.

instead of waking up to your normal chaotically organized nightstand, you’re met with an immaculate one with an artfully placed alarm clock instead.

you turn slightly, aware of the way that the silk sheets brush your legs as you sit upward. your head throbs for a moment as you try to recollect where you were.

one moment you were dancing the night away at this hot spot club yuuji swore was fun. you drank to your hearts content and danced til the music was injected into your veins. those vivid lights, those flashing colors — they were all a part of you.

the next moment you’re here, lying alone in a bed of rouge colored silk sheets, wondering who would’ve led you here on a night like this.

“ah, sleeping beauty’s awakened.” you hear from the doorway.

sukuna’s smile is beautiful even in the darkness.

it was almost like a beacon of sorts, the way he lit up the room as soon as he stepped in. you feel the shift in the atmosphere — as if he’s suddenly introduced some variable that the very air wasn’t able to comprehend.

you couldn’t comprehend him either. while he and your best friend shared their pink hair in common, that was the end of the similarities. you’d spent too much time with sukuna not to acknowledge his appeal.

if yuuji was the blinding light, sukuna was the soothing dark.

“sukuna,” was all you said, averting your eyes from the doorway. “nice to see you”

he chuckled lowly, walking in slow steps to where you sat on the edge of what was undoubtedly his bed. he kneeled to the floor, eyes level with your own.

“where’s this shyness coming from?” he asked, tilting your head towards him. “you weren’t so shy earlier tonight.”

you felt your face flush, though you could quite recall what led you to this position. “what did i do?”

“don’t remember?” he laughed softly. “you were all over me.” he leaned closer to you, his breaths fanning across your face. “you said you were in love with me.”

“what? i would never!” you argued, suddenly all too aware of how close he was. you tried to move, but his bare arms caged you to your seat.

“why not?” he asked, “is it so horrible to want me?”

“ you must’ve drank tonight.” you murmur. “you’re tipsy.”

he sighs, before gently looping an arm around your waist and maneuvering you to his bed. he hovered patiently on top of you before pressing his forehead against yours.

“you’re insufferable,” he breathes into your neck. “do you know how long i’ve been thinking about you?”

your face is on fire now as you grip the sheets in the hopes of grounding yourself.

sukuna and you were friends. hell—you were on your way to best friends. he understood your complexities in the way that nobody else could. if he wasn’t this attractive, you would’ve already dubbed him one of your closest.

but everything about sukuna made that impossible. from his devilish grin to his muscled physique to the way he had an underlying softness to him, sukuna was the amalgamation of everything you’d ever wanted in a man.

no wonder everyone fell in love with him.

you swore you weren’t one of them, and yet, here you were.

“we’re friends,” you gulped, meeting his eyes. “let’s not ruin it because of some….crush.”

he sighed again, meeting your eyes with an intensity you’d never seen from him. “nothing about this is a crush. i’ve dreamt and dreamt of the day that i’d have you beneath me like this, wondering if there was ever a chance you felt the same.”

you were breathless. pinned under his gaze, there was nothing you could say.

“and you,” he whispered, placing a chaste kiss on your neck. “continue to tease me.”

“what?” you practically shake. “i don’t tease.”

sukuna nibbles your neck ever so slightly, and every argument you’ve ever had flows out the window.

“everytime you look at me there’s some sort of admiration there. every time we’ve gotten takeout, you’re always first to make sure we’ve got everything to make it comfortable for a movie.”

he pulls away for a moment to look at you, really look at you, and you’re a puddle beneath him.

“i do love you.” you finally admit, beaming up at him. “i love you more than anyone sukuna.”

he hasn’t seen anyone more perfect than you.

he pulls you into his embrace, and you’re filled with the overwhelming feeling of being loved.

“tomorrow,” he mumbles into your neck, “give me permission to kiss you breathless.”

[skywalker1dream]

Title: A Day to Remember

note: emotional day yesterday ufff charles monaco win im so happy, i was crying yesterday, family podium with uncle chili. hope you like it. hope you are having good day or night, drink water and eat healthy. btw i used google translate..

charles leclerc x reader

Summary: Charles Leclerc has just won the Monaco Grand Prix, a dream come true for the Monegasque driver. As his long-time partner, you share in his triumph, and the two of you celebrate his victory with an unforgettable night in Monaco, culminating in a life-changing proposal.

Warnings: Fluff, mild suggestive content, celebration, alcohol use, proposal, explicit sexual content

----------------------

The roar of the crowd was deafening as Charles Leclerc crossed the finish line, securing his first-ever win at the Monaco Grand Prix. You stood in the VIP section, your heart pounding with pride and excitement. Charles had dreamed of this moment since he was a child, and now it was finally real.

As he stepped out of his Ferrari, the cheers grew even louder. His face lit up with pure joy as he waved to the fans, then turned and ran towards you. You barely had time to react before he swept you into his arms, spinning you around.

"We did it!" he exclaimed, his voice full of emotion.

"You did it," you corrected, kissing him deeply. "I'm so proud of you, Charles."

The celebrations began immediately. Charles was whisked away for interviews and the podium ceremony, but you stayed close, your eyes never leaving him. The champagne spray, the trophy lift, the national anthem, it was all a blur of euphoria.

Later, as the sun set over the Mediterranean, the real celebration began. You and Charles had decided to host a private party at the prestigious Monte Carlo Beach Hotel. The terrace was beautifully decorated with twinkling fairy lights, and the gentle sound of the waves provided a serene backdrop.

"To Charles!" someone toasted, and everyone raised their glasses.

"To my amazing team," Charles responded, his arm around your waist. "And to my incredible partner, who has supported me through everything."

The party was in full swing, with friends, family, and teammates mingling, dancing, and enjoying the lavish spread of food and drinks. But amidst the celebration, Charles only had eyes for you.

"Let's get out of here for a bit," he whispered in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You nodded, and he led you down a private path to the beach. The cool sand felt wonderful under your feet as you walked hand in hand, away from the noise and excitement.

Charles stopped suddenly, turning to face you. "I still can't believe it," he said, his voice filled with wonder. "Winning Monaco… it's everything I've ever wanted."

"You deserve it, Charles," you replied, cupping his face in your hands. "You've worked so hard for this moment."

He smiled, pulling you closer. "And I couldn't have done it without you." His lips met yours in a kiss that was both tender and passionate. The world seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in the feel of him, the taste of him.

When you finally broke apart, you were both breathless. Charles rested his forehead against yours, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too, Charles," you whispered back.

You spent the next few hours on the beach, talking, laughing, and simply enjoying each other's company. It was a perfect night, one that neither of you would ever forget.

As the first light of dawn began to creep over the horizon, Charles stood up, pulling you to your feet. "Come on," he said with a grin. "I have one more surprise for you."

He led you back to the hotel, where a private suite awaited. Inside, a bottle of vintage champagne was chilling, and the room was filled with roses. Charles opened the French doors to the balcony, where a table was set up with candles and a view of the sunrise over the Mediterranean.

"Wait here," he said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. He disappeared into the suite for a moment, then returned with a small, velvet box in his hand.

He took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly as he knelt down on one knee. "I've been planning this for a long time," he began, his voice full of emotion. "Ever since I met you, my life has been filled with so much joy and love. You've been my rock, my biggest supporter, and my best friend. I can't imagine my life without you."

Tears filled your eyes as you looked at him, your heart swelling with love.

"Today was a dream come true for me," he continued, "but it's nothing compared to the dream of spending the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me, ma chérie?"

He opened the box to reveal a stunning diamond ring, its facets catching the first rays of the morning sun.

You gasped, your hands covering your mouth as tears streamed down your cheeks. "Yes, Charles," you whispered, your voice shaking with emotion. "Yes, I will marry you!"

He slipped the ring onto your finger and stood up, pulling you into his arms. The kiss you shared was filled with love and promise, the perfect end to a perfect night.

But Charles wasn't done yet. He swept you off your feet and carried you into the suite, kicking the door shut behind him. He set you down gently on the bed, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked at you.

"I want to show you just how much I love you," he murmured, his hands trailing over your body.

You shivered under his touch, your skin tingling with anticipation. "Charles…"

He silenced you with a kiss, his lips moving against yours with a passion that took your breath away. His hands were everywhere, sliding under your clothes, caressing your bare skin. You moaned, arching into him, desperate for more.

Charles took his time, undressing you with a reverence that made you feel cherished and adored. When you were finally bare before him, he paused, his eyes raking over you with undisguised lust.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I can't believe you're mine."

You reached up, pulling him down to you. "Show me," you said, your voice trembling with need.

He needed no further encouragement. His hands and mouth were relentless, driving you to the edge of ecstasy again and again. Each touch, each kiss, was a testament to his love and desire for you.

When he finally entered you, it was slow and deliberate, a claiming that left you both breathless. You moved together, your bodies perfectly in sync, building towards a climax that left you shattering in his arms.

As you lay in the aftermath, tangled in the sheets and each other, Charles kissed you softly. "I love you, Mon ange" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you too," you replied, your voice filled with contentment.

You spent the rest of the morning wrapped up in each other, making love as the sun rose over Monaco. It was a celebration of not just his victory, but of your love and the future you would build together.

As you lay in his arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, you knew that this was just the beginning. Charles' win in Monaco was a dream come true, but it was also the start of many more incredible moments to come.

And you couldn't wait to share them all with him.

[pers1st]

people help the people

pairing: lucy bronze (platonic) x reader

notes: mentions of suicide, not really ahappy ending, whole lotta angst, don't read if you're not in a good place.

i lost my best friend to suicide about a year ago and it's genuinely been the hardest thing of my life to go through, and even though i feel incredibly selfish for comparing my pain to hers, i just hope that everyone who's in a bad place will feel better soon. your death will hurt people, even if you don't believe it. my messages are always open !!

“Heartbreaking news have hit the football community earlier this morning as Arsenal have confirmed the death of young defender, Y/N Y/L/N. The club has stated that Y/L/N, who also played for the Lionesses, was found dead in her apartment late last night. Her death has been ruled as suicide. Other than that, both the club and the FA have asked for privacy as they deal with this tragic loss. The matches of this week will take place as usual, though the teams have agreed collectively to wear black armbands, along with having a minute of silence ahead of the match’s begin.”

The internet was a cruel place, Lucy realized a week after your death. There were countless articles, invasive messages, offensive comments about how and why your presence had been tragically ripped away from this world. She didn’t understand - how could she? Lucy liked to believe that the two of you had a real bond, with you only being nineteen years old and looking up to Lucy as if she was a Goddess, following her every step, studying her every move, clinging onto her every word as if she spoke a prayer. The admiration wasn’t one-sided, either. Lucy looked up to you. How could she not? You were so young, and faced with so much adversity - the fact that you were as professional as you were at such a young age, you impressed Lucy. You had. Until Keira had filled her in on the news ahead of a training session at Barcelona, shattering Lucy’s heart in the process. You had reached out to Lucy a lot, but never about anything this serious. You had told Lucy a lot of things, but nothing grave enough a reason to take your own life. 

Admittedly, she knew the odd joke you had made - when you had slipped on the ball in front of the whole team, crashing down onto your stomach and banging your head enough to leave a glaringly obvious bump on your forehead, only to realize that the media staff had caught the moment and posted it to TikTok mere moments later. You had said, then, that you might as well have offed yourself. Lucy had laughed. Leah, who had been standing closeby, had laughed. You had laughed as you said it, but the words didn’t leave Lucy’s head anymore. You had said it. Right in front of her. How could she not have noticed?

It took minutes for Lucy’s face to be drenched in tears, hours until she would leave the medical room, which Keira had cleared and led her into, knowing very well that Lucy would not want anyone to see her raw emotions, days until Lucy returned to training, and months for anyone in the football community to address the situation. Mental health. Mental illness. Lights and shadows that came with being exposed to such brutal schedules, invasive comments, being shown off for everyone to see while no one ever required to know anything substantial. People wanted funny comments, smiles, laughter. No one ever cared about the weight dragging any players down, until it was too late - Lucy realized, as everyone and their mother seemed opposed to even speaking your name, only that energy into  searching, very openly, both in comment sections or live on broadcasted TV, for the reason you had left life behind. Lucy searched for it too, though more secludedly.

She re-read your messages for hours, in the little light the moon provided as it fell through the cracks of her bedroom window, deciphering each and every letter, pronouncing the words out loud in different tones, scrolling through your social media to search for any clue. You had had your fair share of problems- you had told Lucy about them. You hadn’t been a big fan of the fans seemingly taking property of you. You hadn’t been ready for the pressure that you would be put under after another one of your defenders was injured and you were re-called from your loan to step into the position immediately. You hadn’t dealt well with the lack of your parents’ presence. Though you had still lived with them, they had rarely attended your matches, always able to come up with an excuse, one that you believed. You had defended them, shielding your family from Lucy's criticism when you had let her know, in another disappointed text message, that they hadn’t been able to make it. You hadn’t wanted to accept the fact that they simply weren’t interested in your career, and Lucy had accepted that. 

Now, though, she wondered whether you had silently accepted it, and been too ashamed to admit it. Lucy knew that it wasn’t your fault - you had been the biggest ray of sunshine, even through your difficulties. You had managed to put a smile on everyone’s face, even though you had always been a little shy. You had been sweet, and kind, and gentle. Had Lucy been your parent- she would’ve let everyone know, would’ve shown you off to the world with pride, would’ve been there for everyone of your big moments. She had managed to fly out for the Conti Cup final, together with Keira, to watch you win the second domestic trophy in your senior career, only this time it was as a key-player rather than a super-sub. 

Lucy was never really able to figure out your exact reasoning - perhaps that was the deal with mental illness. It was an illness. Perhaps there was no reasoning, perhaps the whole point of being ill was the fact that a healthy person would never be able to grasp the darkness that clenched your soul and inevitably drove you to death. If Lucy had learned one thing, though, it was the fact that she was never going to let anyone feel like you must’ve, ever again.

She had seen your parents during the funeral, had witnessed what your death had done to the people, who, though she never really liked them, had raised an absolutely incredible girl. She had seen your room, per her parents request, had seen the blood stained tiles on your bathroom floor, had heard your mother’s mumbled apology for not being able to clean it all. She had seen where you had spent your very last minutes, and she had thought about what must’ve been going on through your head, and it had almost suffocated her. And that was how she found herself here - in a studio in London on her rare off day, with Sky Sports, in an interview room that felt uncomfortable, a seat that pressed into her back, and a microphone in her sweaty hands. 

“I just think that mental health is so, so important. I don’t know what it’s like to feel like… to feel like there’s no way out anymore, but I do know what it feels like to lose a person to their illness. It’s brutal. It makes you think you’ve failed them, and it makes you want to wish you had done more. I don’t want anyone to experience that.”

Lucy swallowed thickly, glancing at the reporter next to her. The man was kind, he handled the interview with delicacy. Your death had shocked the world, and by now, people knew to be respectful. Enough time had passed. Everyone had gotten over the initial shock. Everyone was left behind with that same distaste in their mouth and a hole in their stomach. People were delicate, when they mentioned you. They were still wearing black armbands in the WSL, and Lucy still wore the bracelet she had been given by your parents, taping it up for every match, letting any of her lioness teammates kiss her wrist whenever they scored. 

“Is that why it’s so important to talk about this, to you?”

“Yeah, it’s definitely part of it. But I think most of all, I think we need to speak about it for Y/N. I think if we’d had this kind of open conversation a few months ago, she would’ve maybe reached out, you know. If I had educated myself on the topic better, maybe I could’ve seen the signs. I think it’s more for the people who feel the way she felt. If we can make even a single person reach out for help when they initially wouldn’t, I think it’s paid off.”

The man nodded. 

“It’s just… you know. There’s always another way. Even when you don’t feel like it. I don’t know what it’s like to go through suicidal tendencies, but I do know what it’s like to feel sort of, hopeless. And I know that whatever happens, the world is a better place with you in it. Suicide is such a cruel way to go. I’ve wondered a lot, you know, whether she’s happier now, but I don’t think she is. Y/N had so many ambitions, so many dreams. She had such a bright future and yeah, for a mental illness to rip that away from her, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with that.”

Lucy sniffed, the tears dwelling in her eyes by now. She had never spoken about your death publically. No one had, not exactly. Sure, there had been underlying comments, minutes of silence and the odd mention of your name, but people had been cautious to actually speak about the situation. She couldn’t blame them, because fuck- this hurt. She saw your face whenever she closed her eyes. She heard your voice whenever she couldn’t sleep, your laughter was engraved into her brain. There would not be a day in her life that she didn’t miss you. It hurt. A lot. The realization that you weren’t just a few countries away, that you wouldn’t call her back later, that you wouldn’t call her after an important match or visit her in Barcelona like you had said you would.

“You’ve been kind of hesitant to agree to this interview. Why do you think that is? I mean, no one has really spoken about Y/N’s death as openly as you have.”

“Yeah, I think it’s difficult. To admit this kind of pain. I mean- it shouldn’t be, you know? I think it’s important to speak about this kind of loss and all the hurt that comes with it. Not out of a place to put blame, I’d never blame her. But just to, yeah, make people realize how bad this kind of loss hurts. How much people miss her, because we all miss her, even though some people are hesitant to say it out loud.”

“How do you feel about people being so hesitant?”

“I don’t think you can blame them, you know. Grief looks different for anyone. And I guess I’m a fixer kind of person. I want to fix things, and even though I’ll never be able to, you know, fix this, I do hope that by speaking up about this, I can potentially save someone from doing the same thing. Let people know that mental health should never be a taboo, encourage people to speak up before it’s too late. Because the world will miss you, even if you don’t think it will. The world is a different place without you in it”, she concluded, though she was mostly speaking to you.

It was true. The world was different, now that you were gone. Your friends- mostly the younger girls in the Arsenal squad, seemed to be less talkative. Arsenal was a different place- Leah had told Lucy during your funeral. Everyone was a little less talkative, the loss hanging heavy over the team. Kim worried a lot, about the younger ones, whereas the older, more experienced players, dealt with the same kind of guilt Lucy felt. 

Barcelona was different too, though you had never played there. Alexia and Patri seemed to be checking on everyone a little more frequently, holding the team together, making sure everyone was okay. Lucy wasn’t, of course, though her team tried their best to help her move forward.

She did, eventually. England camps became less heavy, and when England won the Euros in 2025 again, during Lucy’s last match, she held up your shirt proudly, keeping the medal that had your name engraved in it, without shedding a single tear. When Arsenal won the Super League that year, they did the same thing. Lucy still felt a pinch in her chest everytime one of your teams reached another milestone, because she had wanted you to experience those kind of things. You deserved to experience your first league title, your second Euros, but more than anything-

She envisioned the life you could’ve lived, away from football. You deserved to fall in love, to visit Barcelona and every other place in the world you would’ve wanted to. You deserved to move out of your parents home into your first ever flat, you deserved to get a kitten and name it something ridiculous, the way you had always planned. You deserved to feel the rays of sun on your skin on the odd day it didn’t rain in London, you deserved to go on another trip to Ibiza and terrorize the rest of the girls in the club for another night. You deserved to be a bridesmaid at a wedding, the way you had always wanted to. You deserved a lot more than dying at nineteen. Everyone did. And Lucy would spend the rest of her career, potentially the rest of her life, making sure that people who felt the same way you had would feel a little less alone, a little more hopeful, would live a little longer. Anything in her power. She would do it all.

[loonylesbian]

ok i am very much so not a writer, or at least not creatively. but i had this idea and i couldn’t get it out of my head so i decided to write it out. it ended up being 6.1k words so feel free to not finish it cause i’m sure it’s not good. however if you do read the entire thing i hope you like it and don’t clown on me too hard. long story short either you’re welcome for this or i’m sorry for this. there is no inbetween

naked in manhattan // k. martin

10 years ago

“Kate can you believe it! We’re starting high school!!!” you scream, hugging your best friend on the last day of summer. If you were being totally honest, you were nervous never being good at making friends, always relying on Kate for that. Her being so outgoing and friendly, it’s not that you weren’t nice, you really were, if anyone asked Kate would say that you’re the sweetest person she’s ever met, you were just shy. Talking to just about anyone made you nervous, in fact, you had a short list of people who didn’t make you nervous.

“I know! It’s gonna be great, I’m gonna do my best in basketball and volleyball, and you, my little genius, are gonna be the best in every class, and make tons of new friends,” she reassured you as if she could feel the nerves radiating off of you in waves. You were grateful for that, she had always been able to know exactly what you were feeling and how to help, even if you didn’t. It was one of your favorite things about her, sure there were too many things you loved about her to count, but that was one of your absolute favorites.

“I promise I’m gonna do my best to make it to each and every single game of yours,” you told her holding up your pinky while looking up at her, she giggled and interlocked her pinky with yours in a pinky promise, something you have insisted on doing since you met. You swore that it was more real than a regular promise, and made it to where the universe let the promise happen, not just the people involved.

“Well if it’s a pinky promise, I know you're never gonna miss a game,” she replied with a smile reserved just for you.

7 years ago

So far your promise had held, not without some struggle, but you had still attended every game Kate had for both sports she played, and just about every other game she just wanted to watch. There were a few games where you were late because of your job, studying, or other things that had gotten in the way, and the two times where you sat as far away from everyone else as humanly possible because you didn’t want to get them sick but also didn’t want to miss Kate’s game, but for the most part you sat right at the front to cheer on your best friend.

After the game tonight you guys were gonna have a sleepover as tradition for Friday night games, whether it resulted in a win or a loss. Either way, you usually ended up in her arms bringing her comfort, whether that be her knowing that she deserves it because she played well and won to bring her down from that high or wishing she had done things differently to change that loss and you reassuring her that it wasn’t all her fault, because as far as your were concerned basketball was a team sport and a loss couldn’t hang solely on one person's shoulders. After all, you were her number one supporter, never failing to let her know how proud of her you are and how much you love her no matter how she feels. You made everything feel okay for her, but it was the least you could do, afterall she did that and more for you.

when i sing that lana song it makes you cry

On the drive back to her house listening to the radio, she couldn’t help but look at you as much as she could without crashing the car. She couldn't help but feeling like she was was really listening to the song for the first time as you were singing along to “Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Ray. She didn’t quite know what it was but when she looked at you and listened to you singing she couldn't help but feel her heart race and her body flush, she swore she could listen to you forever. Had someone told her in that moment she would never get to hear you sing like that, she would swear she’d cry And if anyone asked, she would tell them she liked girls, it wasn’t like it was a secret, and she’s had crushes before, she knows what it feels like. But she never thought she would have a crush on you, purely because you were her best friend, she couldn’t do that, it could ruin your friendship. That wasn't something she was willing, or at least wanted, to risk. A friendship that you've had since kindergarten, although now that she thought about it, it was basically a lesbian right of passage to fall in love with your best friend and-

mean girls we watch every night, and we both have a crush on regina george

“So wanna watch Mean Girls?” you ask abruptly interrupting her thoughts. Truth be told she’s glad that you did, it was probably best that she didn’t dwell on those thoughts for too long. Little did she know she wasn’t the only one who wasn’t having completely friendly thoughts about the other. She was just the only one who wasn’t in total denial about liking girls in the first place.

“Obviously. As if we would watch anything else first,” she replies with a scoff as if it were crazy for you to even ask. Although, to be fair it was crazy of you to ask because that was the first movie you watched anytime you had a sleepover, and it had been that way for years.

“Sorry. Sorry. I forgot you had a crush on Regina George,” you said with a small chuckle, brushing off the twinge of pain you felt at the idea of Kate having a crush on anyone else, even if it was a fictional character from a movie. Because why would you be sad or jealous about that? She was just your best friend, right?

Kate flushed even more red at this comment if that were possible with the combination of the game she had just played and watching you. Even though it was chilly outside and in the car, in that moment it felt like it was 100°. She wasn’t sure if it was nerves or joy that was causing her to feel that way, but she did. In that moment life was perfect, the chill in the air, the rain falling around the car they sat in, the now soft music coming from the speakers, and most importantly you. She wished she could stay in that moment forever, just taking you in, stuck in that perfect moment forever. She let out a slightly nervous chuckle, lightly biting her lip, before she replied, not wanting to break the peace she felt.

“Okay, okay, don’t act like you don’t have a crush on her too. I know you have a thing for blondes.” She finally lets out trying to wave you off and ignore her pounding heartbeat, all while trying to steal another glance at you. What she doesn’t notice, however, is your face flushing or your fists clenching when she says that as if she uncovered a deep dark secret, that you hadn’t told anybody. And to be fair that’s exactly how you felt, you did have a crush on this mean girl and you did have a thing for blondes, but you hadn’t quite come to terms with that yourself, let alone talk to anybody about it. So if anyone asked, the blondes you had a thing for were blonde guys, but you were hoping nobody would ask. Even if that person was Kate, your best friend.

And you didn’t notice her grip on the steering wheel tighten a little bit, waiting for a response. Hoping you would do or say anything to acknowledge what she had said, telling her she was right or wrong, waving her off altogether, laughing. She waited for any acknowledgment of what she had said for the rest of the ride home, but it never came. Instead, you changed the subject all together after sitting in silence for a few minutes. You hoped she didn’t notice that, but she did.

And so you followed your typical Friday night game routine, going to her house, watching Mean Girls, finding yourselves tangled up together but never acknowledging it, and then turning on some other random show or movie before falling asleep. Still in each other's arms. Still, just best friends.

6 years ago

Today was the day, the last full day before your crush best friend was leaving you. Ok well not you per se, but she was leaving. And yes you were also going to leave and go even farther in a few weeks, but that’s beside the point. It still felt like she was leaving you and it just didn’t feel right. You couldn’t exactly put into words how or why you felt so badly about it, but you did. Maybe the fact that you had never been apart for longer than a week played a part in it. Sure, you were both gonna go off and hopefully live your dreams, but it just didn’t feel right to do that away from each other. However, she was going to Iowa and you were going to New York and there's nothing you could do to change that now. And you did genuinely think about going to Iowa instead, but New York was your dream, so when you got into culinary school there you decided to go. You knew you loved it and you knew that New York was a great place to start, not to get started on the fact that it could take you literally anywhere you wanted to go. That didn’t make the decision any less painful though.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you whispered in Kate’s ear giving her a hug. You honestly don’t know why you’re saying it right now, it’s not like she's leaving right this second, but you still need to say it, and you’ll probably say it about 1,000 more times before you actually have to say goodbye in the morning after your final Friday night sleepover, even if it didn’t follow a game you guys have grown into the habit of doing this almost every Friday night. She squeezes you tighter if possible when she hears this, trying to burn that moment into her memory, knowing she loves you but it’s too late to do anything about it now, at least not anything serious. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you, to admit her feelings for you after years of friendship less than 24 hours before you guys go to different states for college. It would be cruel, and she told herself it would almost be more cruel if you felt the same way about her. She knew that you came to terms with being queer, at least enough to admit it to her and yourself, what she didn’t know is that a big part of that was you coming to terms with being in love with her. But still, it was too late and she had to let that be.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Kate said with a big sigh before releasing you, muttering a quick “more than you could know,” under her breath, hoping you didn’t hear. Happy when you showed no indication of hearing the last part.

“But we still have a whole afternoon/night to do all of our favorite things together before I leave. And we can go get our favorite breakfast in the morning,” she said with a more upbeat tone, poking your sides slightly, trying to lighten your spirits too. Slightly succeeding when she saw you perk up a little, putting a small smile on her face.

“Okay, okay, so what do you say to popcorn, Mean Girls, and a bunch of candy?” you asked, slightly mimicking her accent. She replies with an eager nod. Grabbing your hand and pulling you to her room after making a pit stop for the snacks, failing to notice the blush that covered your cheeks. You simply follow her rushed pace, happy you decided to wear sweats and a tank top, as opposed to something like jeans to lounge around in.

By the time you were about halfway through the movie, you found yourself wrapped in her arms, like usual. But for some reason not knowing when you’ll see her again after this, and the cheesy high school coming-of-age movie in the background made you a little more confident. Not super confident to where you would outright tell Kate that you’re in love with her, but confident enough to try and hint at something, which is more than you’d ever been willing to do with anyone else. So that’s what you do. Especially after spending years denying your feelings, and almost a whole extra year hiding them.

“You know what sucks,” you start off looking up at her waiting for any kind of acknowledgment. She finally looks down at you with a light “Hmm?”

“I’m about to go to college and I haven’t even had my first kiss,” you say unable to stop your eyes from glancing down to her lips. This statement took her off guard, sure, you had never talked about anyone, guys or girls, but you’re you and she figured you had your first kiss and in your typical shy fashion, you just hadn't wanted to bring it up.

“What? No way!” she says laughing a little only realizing her mistake when she saw your face drop.

“No no no, I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t get how you of all people haven’t had your first kiss yet!” she exclaims “I mean you’re literally perfect, you’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re a great cook, I mean you're my favorite person in the world. I just don’t get how no one’s kissed you yet!” she finished off her little rant with a small huff.

“Well no one’s wanted to,” you mumble looking down a little bit, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.

“That’s not true,” she mumbles quieter now than she had been before, suddenly feeling almost as shy as you while taking you off guard. It was pretty obvious what she meant, no hidden meaning laced in with her words, unable to pick her gaze back up to your eyes once they dropped down to your lips.

“I mean would you?” you question with a little more confidence once you notice where she's looking. You can’t help but follow her lead and look down to her lips, before going back up to her eyes, even though she still wasn’t looking.

touch me baby, put your lips on mine

“It doesn’t have to be weird or anything, it's just you’re my best friend, and I’ve never kissed anyone, and you’re leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to go to college without at least having my first kiss,” you kind of spit out hoping you don’t sound pathetic or desperate, or make her want to kick you out.

“Would you want me to?” she questions back, already knowing your answer but just wanting to ask to know that you were sure.

“Yeah, I’d like that” You rush out in a kind of whisper to her nodding, so she nods back to you. You can both tell that you’re nervous, each for different reasons. All it takes for you to start leaning into each other is locking your eyes again. In that moment she looks like an angel, with the soft glow of the lamp making her hair look even more golden than usual, to the way she was looking at you, not to mention how you felt about the grip she had on you. You barely even had time to actually look at her before her lips crashed onto yours. And that’s exactly what it felt like in that moment, like waves crashing onto cliffs, a completely overwhelming feeling, yet still, it brought you a newfound sense of peace. She pulled you as close to her as possible, knowing that this may be the only time you get to do this, not wanting to be even an inch away from you. At this point you were basically straddling her while she was leaning up against her headboard, both wanting nothing more than to be together, knowing you couldn’t.

You had never kissed anyone before but thought to yourself that in that moment that if this is what it is like you never wanted to stop. Kate had kissed people before, and you knew that, but what you didn’t know was that none of those felt anything like with you. They couldn’t compare. Not by a long shot. If she didn’t know how much she loved you before, she definitely knew now. The only issue is that she knows this, it’s gonna make it even harder to leave you in the morning.

By the time you guys pull away breathless from a mixture of kissing, nerves, and giddiness, you can’t help but feel at peace, resting your foreheads against each other’s. Sure you knew that nothing could come of this, that nothing would come of this, at least not right now. But you were happy. Happy that you got to show her how much you love her in one small way, one new way. Happy that you got to know her, and happy that she felt the same way about you. Even if you guys didn’t necessarily talk about it, or say outright say it, you both knew that was always one of the best things about your friendship, you didn’t have to actually talk in order to communicate and get your point across, and even when you did need words you didn’t need many of them.

So when you guys make eye contact again you come to a silent agreement, you have that night, and the next morning to talk if you want. You know you love each other, but also that there's realistically nothing you can do for you to start a relationship at that moment and have it work out. Not when you were about to be nearly 1,000 miles apart. It wasn’t right to risk it. And you both know that you’re too important to each other to risk your friendship, especially when almost all of the circumstances are pointing to it not working out. So, you have that night, after that, you’re friends again, maybe not even best friends, and if it works out you can be together in the future when you can be closer. But for the time being this is for the best, this is safe.

April 2024 || Present Day

It had been years since you and Kate had last seen each other properly, there were brief passings when you were both in your hometown that resulted in short conversations, but you were both barely there, you less than her, and when you were your family made sure you never went longer than 20 minutes without them other than to let you sleep. You had stuck to being friends, not best friends, just friends. Never talking about that night, your last night together. Not wanting to risk it, not yet. Other than that, you guys have managed to text each other occasionally to check-in. Keeping each other updated on your lives, but not close. It was as if you had both come to the understanding that you should keep a certain level of distance so as not to ruin what you had. Knowing that if you talked more, you would’ve talked about what could have been more. And you just couldn’t risk it.

id love if you knew you were on my mind, constant like cicadas in the summertime

That’s not to say that you didn’t keep an eye on her and her basketball. You had been her #1 fan since day one, and even if you didn’t talk or see each other as much as you used to, you wouldn’t let that change. You still felt the exact same way when you thought about her, even if you tried not to. Even when you knew you shouldn’t. You just couldn’t stop thinking about her. While you obviously couldn’t go to all of her games anymore, you still watched every single one, even when you were at work during them you would try to either watch it on your phone or record it and watch it when you got home later. You even managed to take off work for both the Final Four and the Finals this year to watch her and her team, even if you didn’t make it in person, you still had to watch the games live. And once you heard that she had declared for the WNBA draft you had to get a ticket for that, it was perfect, it was in Brooklyn so you didn’t have to travel more than taking the subway. And this time you told yourself that you would talk to her, not go up to her at the draft but you would text her and let her know that you were gonna be there if she wanted to meet up after, or at any point while she was in town. You would make an effort to see her. You really didn’t know when the next time you’d get the chance to see her again would be, it’s been so long since the last time, partially due to schedule, partially due to nerves, and you were about to move across the country to Las Vegas for a new job. You figured it was now or never, and you really hoped you would get the chance to see her so you could get her out of your mind.

You knew you had to try. Try to talk to her, try to see her, try something. You couldn’t stand it anymore, constantly thinking about her, you needed closure, even if there wasn’t necessarily anything to get closure about. You still had to try. So even though you had grown up a lot in the past six years, you had learned to start a conversation instead of stuttering your way through when someone came up to you, gotten more friends, and most importantly gained confidence and figured out a pretty good idea of who you were. You were nowhere near as shy as you used to be, but still the mere idea of Kate brought back butterflies that made you feel like you were in high school again. Frankly, the feeling had to be classified as something stronger than butterflies. So obviously the idea of calling her went out the window for you, you figured she was so busy anyway that she probably wouldn't answer, and you told yourself that if she chose not to answer a text it would hurt less than not answering a call. And after a lot of thinking and rewriting, you finally sent her the text.

“Hey Kate, I heard you’re gonna be in town for the draft and I know you’re probably busy but I would love to see you. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been keeping up with your games, I’m so proud of you, still your #1 fan, and can’t wait to see where you go. I’m gonna be at the draft rooting for you, just like I have been every step of the way even when I couldn’t physically be there. So if you wanna meet up after the draft or at any point while you’re in town let me know.”

Once you hit send you waited, and waited, and waited. Once it hit six hours with no response you figured you weren’t going to get one. Now that you had sent it, you realized that it was more nerve-wracking to sit and wait for the possibility of a response than to try and figure out what to say and hit send. Every possible reaction she could have had to your text was running through your head, well not every one, just every bad one. You didn’t know what she was thinking, or how she thought anymore, and that was terrifying to you. The nerves were so bad that to anyone watching you probably looked like a mess, flushed cheeks, sweaty, a little hunched over, and very clearly looking nauseous. But you were fine, it was no big deal.

You lied to yourself, it still hurt that you didn’t get an answer, but still decided to go to the draft anyway. Even if she didn’t want to see you, you still wanted to support her, figuring it was a big event and the chance of you seeing each other let alone talking were slim to none. You could go and didn’t have to talk if she didn’t want to. Plus you didn’t want to waste your money after you already bought the ticket and more than anything you wanted to support her, she was your first friend, your best friend, so far your most important friend, and now she's about to be a professional basketball player. You had to be there to see it come full circle, after spending the better part of ten years being able to count the number of her games you hadn’t seen on one hand, and saying you were her #1 fan, you just couldn’t miss it. Not for you, and certainly not for her.

By the time you had actually gotten to the draft and it started you were so focused on listening for Kate or her name, you couldn’t focus on anything else. You couldn’t hear anything that wasn’t related to her. You were confident that she was going to get drafted, but there was still a “what if” sitting in the back of your mind knowing your heart would break for her if she didn’t, maybe more than hers. Then you heard it, “With the 18th pick in the 2024 WNBA Draft, The Las Vegas Aces select Kate Martin, University of Iowa.” you were so focused on her getting on a team that you didn’t think of the city she might end up in. You wish you could hit rewind when you heard it, almost not believing it. She got drafted to the Las Vegas Aces, you would be in the same city for the first time in 6 years. There could be a chance of you guys actually happening. Of course, she still had to go through training camp and make the roster before she was officially on the team, but you have no doubt that that’s going to be the easy part compared to everything else that it took to get to that moment. Not to mention text you back. When you’re finally able to focus again, there have been a few more picks you decide to go on your phone and check Twitter to see what they are saying about the draft. What you didn't expect to see when you opened your phone, however, was a message from Kate.

🏀Kate 🏀

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see your message or get back to you earlier! I’m so happy that my #1 fan came to support me just like you have been all these years. It means the absolute world to me to know that you came here for me tonight because I wasn’t even sure I was gonna make it. I haven’t been on my phone like at all today, but I’d love if you’d come celebrate with me and my friends tonight? It only feels right that you’re there, you’ve been there for pretty much everything else already, you should be there to celebrate now too.”

When you read the text you could’ve sworn your stomach quite literally did flips, while a giddy feeling erupted through your body, even releasing a small, relieved, laugh. At this point, the last thing you were expecting was to get a response, at most expecting to go to a bar close to your apartment for a drink or two, if you were feeling frisky. But upon seeing her text, you decided “Why not?” and decided to respond.

“Yeah of course I’d love to celebrate with you and your friends!! You deserve it after all the hard work you put in to get here. Just send me the time and place and I’ll meet you there.”

You tried to keep your response short and sweet, not trying to read too much into what she said or trying to seem too eager. Although, you were quite excited to actually see her and have the opportunity to talk to her again. You figured it wasn’t guaranteed that you were even going to talk more than a simple greeting, let alone that she would want to talk about what happened the last time you spent any substantial amount of time together. Hell, you weren’t even sure you’d stay longer than half an hour. But before you could dwell on it too long, you got a response, with nothing more than an address and a time.

//

By the time you show up, which is 20 minutes late due to nerves alone, you are sure Kate had forgotten that she had even invited you. What you hadn’t expected was for everyone to automatically know who you were, greeting you excitedly. You thought at most one, maybe two people would vaguely know who you were, but you didn’t expect all of your friends to recognize you and know pretty much everything about you. Including things you were pretty sure you hadn’t told Kate when you would catch up.

But that’s exactly what happened, all of her teammates knew who you were, Jada, Gabbie, and Caitlin, even people she barely knew. Never in a million years did you think that she could possibly talk about you that much. You didn’t think there could possibly be that much for someone to talk about regarding you, let alone that anyone would want to, especially after 6 years of limited communication. Yet it warmed your heart, it made you happier than you had been in a long time, to know that she talked about you, that she cared about you enough to talk about you that much. Jada went as far as to say,

“We finally get to meet you after her nonstop talking about you for I don’t even know how long. We were starting to think Kate made you up,” before giving you a hug in greeting. You could tell from that alone that she was an absolute sweetheart.

new crush, high school love again

By the time you had been able to talk to Kate for any substantial amount of time, it was clear that you both had a few drinks. Neither one of you could help yourselves from embracing each other in a long overdue hug, slightly rocking as she lightly rubbed your back. You couldn’t help but feel like you belong there. You had always felt like you belonged when you were with Kate, fitting together like two puzzle pieces. Like you had wasted time not being there. You never wanted to leave her side again. You didn’t think you could stand it. At that moment, hugging each other again for the first time in you don’t know how long, you both felt like you were in high school again. You knew she still gave you butterflies, but in that moment you could have sworn you fell in love with her all over again.

“I’m so proud of you, I knew you could do it,” you whisper while pulling away from the all-too-long hug. Looking up at her, you were filled with an all-new type of butterfly, a bird maybe. Filled with a sense of joy knowing she was happy to see you, and a sense of contentment knowing that you were going to be in the same city again, for the first time in years. Knowing that you know each other, without really knowing each other. In a sense you know each other, you kept each other updated on the big things, relationships you were in when you talked, basic interests, but you didn’t know what really mattered. You didn’t know the little things, the day-to-day, the highs and the lows, and you missed that. You missed knowing the one thing that made her day unbearable, or the one thing that got her through the day. It was always you, to this day. But she wasn’t willing to tell you that yet. She loved you, and you her, and you both knew that, but you only knew that past tense.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she says into your ear sending a shiver down your spine. You had officially fallen even more in love with her than the last time you saw each other, and you barely talked yet. And just like no time had passed, able to see the change in your demeanor, she grabbed you by the hips before looking into your eyes.

“I’m serious y’know? I really wouldn’t be here without you. You made it all worth it,” she pauses, eyes briefly scanning the room. “Every time I felt like I couldn’t do it, you made sure to tell me that I could. You made it clear that you believed in me, but you weren’t ever gonna push me into something I didn’t want. Even when you weren’t there I still thought of you. Thought of what you would say, how you would make everything better. You got me here baby,” she finishes off. Her eyes found their way back to yours while she talked, the intensity of her gaze alone could melt you.

“Even though I wasn’t there I never missed a game. I watched every single one, even if it was just a recording. I'm still your #1 fan, and I can promise to never miss a game of yours in the WNBA now either. I’ll even be at all the home games,” you smile up at her looking to see if she caught onto your words. You can see her trying to figure out what you meant, her eyebrows scrunching up in confusion as she was thinking before a smile eventually broke out on her face.

“What? Are you moving to Vegas?” she asks, her volume growing with each word. She grabbed you by the shoulders before lightly shaking you in disbelief. As if trying to figure out whether or not this was really happening.

“Yeah, I got a job there and I’m moving at the beginning of May,” you say laughing at her clear excitement. To her it felt like she was about to burst, this is what you had been waiting for, this was a sign. It wasn’t planned and neither one of you had any idea it was going to happen, but you were going to be together again.

the rush of slumber party kissing

“I can’t believe it! Are you joking?” she asks looking down at you for any hint of a lie coming from you, but she found none, so she continued. “Like we’re actually going to live in the same city? This is amazing, I can’t believe it.” and then it slips out, she doesn’t mean to say it, but she does, “We could try. Like we could actually be together, for real-” By the time she realizes what she said she was looking at the floor and couldn’t bear to try and meet your gaze. After all, she basically just confessed that she was still in love with you after 6 years of barely seeing or talking to each other.

“Really? You’d want that?” you ask her, grabbing her face and lifting it to meet your eyes. You couldn’t believe she wanted you, after all this time she still wanted you. So you did something Kate never in a million years thought you would’ve done, you kissed her. She wasn’t sure where your confidence had come from whether it had been her basically admitting that she never moved on from you, or the drinks you had, or just simply you growing up and actually being more confident. But she couldn’t think about that now. Now she had you in her arms, for the first time in years. She had you in a way she thought she had missed out on because she waited. And in that moment she knew she wasn’t going to let you go ever again.

[kazoologist]

congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.

[cheeseceli]

I'll be waiting

Pairing: idol Bang Chan × Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, friends to potential lovers, fic (1.6k words)

Prompt: "Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody I promise I'll be around. Tell me when you're ready. I'm waiting"

Warnings: for a short moment there's a bit of unrequited love, happy ending tho. Mentions of insecurity back to the trainee days.

A/n: the longest fic I've ever done, I'm kinda proud of it ngl

Patience might be Chan's biggest virtue, he thinks to himself. By seeing where he's right now and where he was ten years ago, he smiles. He couldn't agree more with that statement.

2014

He still remembers the first time he saw you.

Monthly evaluation. At this point, Chan should already be used to this whole process of the trainee life. However, that day felt particularly depressing to him. Hopeless, he would say.

He had found out that JYP was about to debut a new group. A girl group. And as much as Bang Chan tried to be completely happy for his friends who could finally try and debut, he had to admit he was somewhat jealous. Four years of training and he felt like he was heading towards nowhere.

Still, he tried to practice. He sang the song he would showcase so many times he reached the point of not even feeling the words leaving his mouth. He was so lost he also didn't notice the presence of someone else in the practice room. That is, until you clapped.

Chan turned his head towards you, low-key surprised. He recognised you as the child of one of the Got7's staff. He couldn't remember your name though. He doubted he even heard it at all.

"Sorry" you finally spoke. Your voice was pretty "I'm looking for my dad. Your voice is very beautiful though. You're doing well." And with a thumbs up you went away.

Chan couldn't help but laugh. Now that was random. He could barely process what happened. But you complimented him. It had been a while since he last heard a genuine compliment.

Somewhere inside his mind, he repeated his words nonstop, filling him with motivation and hope. He also was trying to remember to ask your name later.

2016

He did remember to ask your name after all. Y/n L/n. The pronunciation of your name was beautiful, almost like a melody. Honestly, after two years of knowing you, he could affirm that your existence itself was like a sweet melody.

You both became friends, good ones at that. He also found himself developing feelings for you. That was the saddest part of it all in his opinion.

Even though he hadn't known you for so long, he couldn't see life without you. To live without your horrible jokes (that he always found funny), without your sunshine-like personality (even though most people wouldn't describe you like that. Maybe you were his personal dose of light) felt like a nightmare.

However, it felt a bit cruel that he needed to live like that. He wanted to be an idol. You were the one who was his biggest incentive. Then why, to have a romance with you, could bring problems to his career? It was almost as if destiny liked to make chan suffer.

Pick one.

Happily, Chan was patient. So patient that he decided to wait for you as long as needed. He had hopes that any time now, you would come to him. And he would be ready.

Meanwhile, he focused on becoming an idol. He couldn't give up now, especially given the fact that he knew you'd be in the front row, cheering for him louder than everyone else.

2018

He kept his promise: he followed his dream, finally achieving the so exciting debut, and still waited for you, his crush developing into the most sincere love he ever felt.

However, you had other plans. Of course, you were still there for him. You were probably the one who got the happiest with the results of the survival show. You spent countless nights with him on the practice room and in the studio. You were seeing his dream come true in first hand.

But this time, there was someone else besides you: your current boyfriend. Chan really doesn't know why he didn't think this could've happened. Of course, you were dating. You were smart, beautiful and had so much love to give. Someone else would've fallen for you at some point. And it was unfair of him to expect you to be single, waiting for an empty promise.

The saddest part of it was that your boyfriend was a nice guy. It was clear he loved you. He even made an effort to love everyone who you loved, including Chan himself. You were happy around him.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Chan got the job, you got someone to love - someone who could adore you without being scared of the media - and you both still got each other in the end.

Maybe that was what Chan could have. It's okay, right?

2020

The downfall of Chan's patience at last.

Although you both were still as close as you always were, life was leading each of you in your own direction.

You had a job, he had a job. You had your friends, he had his members. You had your own house, he had the dorms. You had your boyfriend, he didn't have a partner. But it was okay because he didn't even have the time after all.

Still, he tried to fall for someone else during this period. Being in this industry for two years now, he had the opportunity to meet a lot of people. Some fancied him, some tried to take a step further in a somewhat relationship. Some even wanted to just have fun. Chan swears he tried to give in most of the time.

Needless to say he failed at every try. He couldn't come close to someone without wishing it was you instead. His short answers were compared to how sweetly he talked to you. He didn't even bother to call people or have long conversations. He knew it was only a matter of time until his mind started the undesired comparison.

Maybe it was what the job required. Maybe it was because of his lack of time. Han disagrees though. Chan remembers how his friend insisted on the fact that his leader wouldn't even try with other people. But it wasn't his fault either, as it was a subconscious thing. Chan's mind was still wrapped around you. And his heart wanted to disagree, but it all goes down the moment he finds out you and your boyfriend, now your ex, had broken up.

Although he tried hard to deny, he couldn't help but still wait for you. No matter if there was a light at the end of the tunnel or if it was only darkness. He would wait.

2022

Something in your brain has switched, and Bang Chan can't say he really liked the difference.

Of course, you were still the greatest person he ever met. You were still his sunshine. But it seemed like you were tired. Your conception of life and love wasn't as bright as it once was and Chan couldn't help but feel worried about it.

For him, who has loved you deeply for over eight years now, to see you giving yourself less credit and affection hurt him. He doesn't know why and when it happened, but your brain was trying to shut down all genuine feelings one could offer to you. You thought you were, maybe, undeserving of it all.

Honestly, to see you slowly losing your light has wounded Chan way more than all his past experiences: from his fear of failure to his disappointment upon meeting your ex boyfriend. Almost as an instinct,he tried to solve the situation. This time, patience wouldn't do.

Without even noticing, he started to love you more. To actually show you how he cared for you, to put his feelings into words and actions. At first, your heart tried to deny any possible affection, but it soon realised it wasn't possible. Not when Chan didn't even hesitate on showing the entire world how you were worthy of love. And not once he showed it as a challenge or a burden. He was by your side, and he never made it seem hard.

The best part of it all was that none of you noticed it. He started to open up to you to try and protect you,and you opened up to him in order to heal and protect his feelings. Maybe that was patience finally showing itself as a virtue.

2024

Ten years later, it finally happened.

Honestly, Chan was still a bit suspicious. There was no way he was actually seeing this, right? Maybe he was becoming delusional after all. Maybe he started to hallucinate because of his desires. But at the same time, it felt too real.

The way you looked at him, that is. It was just a normal conversation between old friends. Between gossips and laughs, there was absolutely no reason for you to look at him like this. So lost in thought, with this shimmer in your eyes that Chan knew way too well. He knew it because he had it too.

It was love. Not the one nurtured by friends or family. The one shared just between lovers. And he was so sure of it because he knew he looked at you in the exact same way you were looking at him right now.

He smiles. For a moment, you're a bit lost, wondering if you lost a joke or an important moment. That, however, makes him laugh. He couldn't believe he just saw you fall in love on the first row.

Ah, he's been patient. Now, he can't wait for you to realise what just happened. Either way, he knows with a smile on his face that he'll be waiting for you.

I promise I'll be around.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: summer with you

Thank you for reading <3 let me know what you think about it!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143

Dividers by @dollywons

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

[deansapplepie]

Dr. Dixon | Chapter 1

Summary: You just moved to a new city, with a job in Alexandria Hospital on the Pediatric team. You were happy and anxious to work with friends and finally meet your mentor’s former pupil who he talked fondly about. You just didn’t expect he was going to be your last night’s one nightstand and that he was nothing like your mentor had described.

Pairing: Doctor! Daryl Dixon x Doctor! Reader

Warnings: smut, sex, casual sex, protected sex, p-in-v, bathroom sex, alcoholic beverages, Daryl. 18 + MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

A/N: Not really sure if it all went the way I wanted, but I quite proud of this first chapter. I hope you enjoy it. 🩷 Not proof read.

Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Chapter 1 - Doctor Dixon

You entered the bar not really knowing what you were looking there. Maybe an escape, a way to not be so anxious about the upcoming day or maybe you just wanted to feel less bad for being at your friends’ house till you find a place for yourself. You hated disturbing people, even if they said you weren’t.

Going out alone wasn’t really your thing, but from time to time it was a good thing to do. The bar wasn’t exactly full, but it wasn’t empty either. You went for a stool near to the counter, where it seemed to have less strange people.

“A piña colada, please.” You asked the bartender.

“Yer not expecting to get boozed by this, are ya?” A stranger sitting by your side said.

You looked at him and couldn’t feel annoyed or anything, you also felt his comment wasn’t mean at any rate. He was a handsome especimen, shoulder length brown wavy hair, bright blue eyes, a smirk on his lips and his tall and well buit frame made an impression.

“I don’t need a booze, I just want a drink.” You said while analyzing him, at his hand he had a glass of what you presumed was Whysky. “Can’t say the same about you, apparently you go for the strong things.”

“Hmm…” he hummed, didn’t say anything.

“Not my business, but Did you have a rough day?” The bartender brought your drink and you started sipping from it.

“Kinda.” He clearly didn’t want to talk about it , but you didn’t want to listen too. It was just something that made you want to talk to him.

“Hmm” This time you were the one that hummed.

“Ya ain’t from here, are ya?” He asked, nit that the city was small, it was a big city. Impossible to know everyone. But just by looking at you, he knew you were new.

“No, but you aren’t from here too.” You could see it all over him, his body language, his accent and the way he spoke.

“Nah, but I’ve probably been here longer than ya.” He answered.

“Indeed.” You said and went back to your drink.

By some strange reason that you couldn’t pin point why, you felt like you needed to continue talking to him. Not just because he was attractive, but mainly because he was having a simple, casual conversation with you without being a jerk or trying to hit on you. And because of all this a sentence that you never expected coming out of your mouth was released before you could even stop your thoughts. “Wanna release the stress?”

His eyes that were studying his glass so attentively went back to your figure and he tried to read in you if you were implying what he thought you were implying. You looked back at him and tried to not avert your eyes from his, the words had already left your mouth. Now you needed to be bold.

“I’m giving you 2 minutes, if you don’t come I’ll leave, pretend this never happened and never come back to this bar.” You took a last portion of your drink and left the stool going in the bathrooms direction.

Once inside the bathroom you leaned against the cold wall right beside the entrance door while reality hit you of what you had just done. Did you really make that offer to a complete stranger that you didn’t even knew the name? Yes, you did and despite feeling this was a little bit crazy, you couldn’t feel anything else besides of the adreline, of your moment of boldness, running through your vains.

For a moment Daryl thought that should be a joke, he meant… you were beautiful, cute and probably younger than him. You looked as if you were on your 30s, maybe even on your later 20s. He couldn’t know for sure. You were so direct and casual about it, also he felt comfortable throughout all of your little chit chat. He decided he would go after you, he would accept your proposal. What could possibly go wrong? He’d never see you again.

Had 2 minutea already passed? You thought so. You didn’t had a Watch and you weren’t really looking at your phone for the ours. It was time to live, you thought. You turnes around to live and was face to face with the man, or better face to chest since you look up if you wanted to see his face.

“Thought… you weren’t coming.” You said, your cheeks ligerally blushed at being caught about to leave.

“I thought I wasn’t coming…” he honestly answered. “D’ya really want this?”

“Yea.” That was the only word that left your mouth before you pressed your chest against his and crashed your lips.

He tasted o whisky, peppermint and tobacco, and strangely you liked it. You yanked him by his shirt and without breaking the heated kiss your feet guided you to the farthest toilet inside the bathroom and he charged himself with the duty of closing the door to give both of you as much privacy as you could get.

You were so sweet and smelled so well that he was sure he had never had someone like you before. He held your left thigh and brought it up his was waist pressing his crotch against yours. You broke the kiss seeking for air and he took the opportunity to descend his mouth from your jaw to your neckbone. Eliciting little sighs and moans from you. Was he really having something like you?

Your hand grasped his hair pressing his face more against you, while your hips rubbed against his. His hand came to the cleavage of your dress and pulled it down exposing your breast, you gasped surprised with the sudden act. He brought your other leg up, making your legs embrace his waist.

You went for his mouth again, your bodies impossibly pressed against each other and the wall. His hand now hovered your clothed pussy and she pulsed for him, he pressed his hand against you exercing some presure where you needed. Your hands descended to his pants undoing his belt and opening it to touch him.

His mouth softly but also harshly mouthed your breasts each at a time giving the attention that such beautiful pieces like yours deserved. You took his cock out of his boxers pumping it, caressing it… in your mind you thouched him frantically, despaired and firmly. On his skin he felt it, oh, so tender and delicately like nobody had ever touched him and at the same time it felt like you were sending him to heaven.

One of your hands started going up from his groin to his stomach and that was when his hand held yours before you could go any further and touch what you weren’t supposed to, see what you shouldn’t. Before you could notice anything he took both your hands up your head and held them against the wall using only one of his hands and suffering with the loss of contact from your hand on his length.

He reached his backpocket for a condom while you aimlessly trusted your hips against him. He teared the package with his teeth before putting the protection. You could have complained about him restraining your hands from touch him, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t like the way he was being imposing at the moment.

He put your panties aside and rubbed the tip of his cock on your heat and that was enough to make your eyes roll and a moan scape your lips. You trusted your hips against him in hopes of sinking down on his cock and he understood the message, too damn well. Going deep inside of you in one swift movement. He groaned and you gasped, you had never felt so full like this. What was this man!? He gave you some seconds before he started to move, trusting steady and hard in you. Each trust a groan and moan escaping both of your lips, the possibility of other people entering the bathroom long gone from your worries. There was only pleasure and the chasing for the bliss that would fog your minds for the rest of the night or at least you hoped for it.

Your lips battling each other while you vigorously bucked your hips against one another, that so familiar and delicious turmoil building at your lower stomach. Your walls contracting around him threatening to send him to the edge. But he couldn’t let it go without you, no not you that offered this moment to him. You deserved it, you owned it, he refused to let the beautiful stranger he met on the bar down. His free hand went down encountering your clit and stimulating, caressing and working it while he trusted inside of you right at that spot making you see stars when you convulsed in pleasure against and around him. His own pleasure coming afterwards. Your moans, whimpers and groans muffled by your attached lips.

The other day you woke up early, you had to show up at the Hospital at 8am. You got yourself ready and went downstairs for breakfast. You were staying at your friends’ house while you looked for a nice place to rent. Michonne and Rick Grimes were being too gentle to you and you didn’t want to take too much advantage from their hospitality. You started preparing breakfast when Mich came to the kitchen.

“Good morning! What time did you get home yesterday? I didn’t hear you arriving.” She asked opening the fridge to take more ingredients to prepare the food the children liked.

“Good, that was the intention, arrive and don’t disturb anyone.” You answered while you added some salt to the scrambled eggs you were preparing. “It was around 2.”

“Two???” Michonne inquired and looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “What were you doing missy?”

“I met a guy.” You answered. Simply.

“So you did get laid!” She teased you. It wasn’t that you didn’t get laid often… well you didn’t, but that was your kore reserved nature.

“Who got laid?” Rick asked entering the kitchen and Michonne said your name.

“Thank you Mich, now I’m really embarrassed. That’s the price for the rent in this house?” Your cheeks were red. One thing was talking about sex with you bestie from university, the other was involving her husband in the talk.

“I’m taking as it was good, since you arrived that late.” She ignored you.

“Aren’t you afraid the children will listen?” You questioned.

“Jude and RJ are knocked out at this time, they’ll only wake up with their babysitter.” Rick said casually, the couple had 3 children, Judith and RJ the youngest ones, and Carl, the oldest, that was at college. “So I guess we can tease you the whole breakfast.”

“I hate you. Both of you.” You told them.

“Nah, you don’t.” Michonne told you and nudged you with the side of her hips.

You felt like a kid going to a new school at the first time, and Rick and Michonne were your parents. You arrived all together at the Hospital and they took you to Hershel Greene’s office, the Medical Chief of the Hospital. You had already talked before, for the interview, it was online and you had to use an app for that.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you in person Dr. Greene.” You shook his hand.

“The pleasure is mine! Dr. Dixon is coming in a bit, I already beeped him. I believe you already know him, his mentor in specialization was the same as yours.” He said. Oh, Daryl Dixon… your mentor had talked so much and fondly about him that sometimes you were even jealous. “He’s the Chief of the Pediatric Department.”

“Oh, I heard about him. Dr. Foster talked a lot about him, but unfortunately we didn’t have the chance to meet each other.” You replied.

“Well, I see that you are already good friends with Dr. Greene, so I’m going to let you in his hands. I have to see a patient before a surgery.” Michonne said before turning to leave the office and encounter with no other person than Dr. Dixon himself. “Look, here he is!”

You turned yourself to greet and introduce yourself to your new boss and was shocked to say the least, you almost choked on your spit. Dr. Dixon gave a small jump with the sight of you, which could go unnoticed for anyone, but it wasn’t for Michonne. Also, she saw how your eyes popped when you saw him. The man from the bar. The kind stranger that fucked you so good against a wall that you thought no one else would do it so good like him.

You breathed deeply before speaking. You said your name and last name and hold your hand to him. “It’s pleasure to meet you, Dr. Foster talked a lot about you.” You offered a shy small smile to the very serious man.

He looked at your hand and completely ignored it, then he looked at your eyes and it seemed as his blue orbs would make a hole on your soul. “Didn’t know now he was taking mediocre people as his apprentices. Maybe, ‘cause you were there to entertain him instead of learning.”

That was painful, it stabbed like a knife. You didn’t know why he was being like this. Before you could say anything, Hershel intervened. He knew how Daryl could be, but he was just being too much. “That’s not how you welcome a new co-worker, Dr. Dixon.” And then the old man turned to you. “Don’t care too much about it, he’s just in a bad mood today.”

He shouldn’t. He had no reason to be on a bad mood. You mean, you woke up as if the world was light, sweet and sunny. The only reason for him to be acting like this is that he was probably afraid of you telling every. Which you wouldn’t.

“Dr. Dixon, you’re responsible for our new doctor today. Show her around the hospital, the offices of the clinic and of course the room of the team where you’re working together.” Hershel commanded the younger man. “Please, try to behave.”

Daryl grunted and left the room, you took a quick look at the others and noticed Hershel wanted you to follow the other Doctor and Michonne had that look of “we’ll talk later about this.”.

You walked behind him trying to accompany his fast and long steps. You passed in front of places and he just shouted the names of it, without looking at you or explaining things correctly.

“Can you stop?!” You fastened your pace and stopped in front of him.

“Nah, I can’t. Now, move!” He tried putting you aside but you planted your feet strongly on the ground.

“Why are you acting like this? Are you afraid I’m telling someone? I won’t, ok?” You tried to mend things with him. “Now can you stop being an asshole?”

“Can ya stop trying to get yerself fired?” He threw it back at you, not that he really had the power to get you fired. Maybe just from his department.

“I’m not going to jump on your dick.” You said it low enough for only the two of you to hear. “Can you just be professional like any other normal human being?”

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[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

The Devil and The Duck

Duck Adam Au

When Adam first realized that he was a duck after waking up in Hell, he was fucking pissed. What kind of bull shit was this?

It took him a while to get around to a pond in a park and realize that maybe it wasn't so bad. No one knew it was him, he could just swim all day, and eat what people gave him. The other ducks didn't seem to mind him.

Then one day Lucifer showed up, he was feeding the ducks when he noticed this yellow one with black and golden little horns. He was bigger than the other ducks. Lucifer didn't know why, but he was drawn to that duck.

Adam was surprised when the King picked him up one day and started taking him to the hotel. "You're so cute, would you like to be our pet duck?"

"Pet!?" Adam said, but the devil only heard a quack as a response and took it as a positive answer.

That was months ago, everyone at the hotel has voted on making Adam their mascot and named him Grumpy die to his demeanor.

You'd be fucking grumpy too in his situation.

Angel and everyone bought him outfits to dress him up in, Adam really loved the sunglasses he had. He looked bitchin.

Everyone loved him as a duck, well, Alastor that fucking asshole tried to eat him from time to time but Adam always got away or was rescued at the last minute.

There were times where Adam would perch himself on Lucifer's hat or he would sleep in the King's hair. It was surprisingly soft and smelled really nice.

Currently he was sharing a slice of pizza with Lucifer, being a duck meant he could only eat so much.

"Dad, should he be eating that?" Charlie asked, she wasn't an expert in ducks but she didn't think they should eat pizza.

Lucifer brushed the comment off. "It's fine Char, he's mainly getting the crust, sauce and a little cheese. No harm done!" Charlie didn't seem so sure. "If it makes him sick I'll take care of it I promise."

"Piss off girlie let me enjoy this." Adam said as he nibbled the pizza, not having to worry about what he said cause no one can understand him was nice. "Let me eat pizza."

Lucifer smiled and patted his feathers which Adam found he oddly liked. "See he likes it." Lucifer picked Adam up and walked back up to his room, Adam, or as Lucifer knew, Grumpy had his own special pillow in Lucifer's room.

Adam settled into his pillow and quacked happily. This was better than the pond.

Adam always knew that Lilith was crazy.

Lucifer changed and crawled into bed. He was looking at the ceiling. "I really miss him Grumpy." So it was one of those nights. Lucifer would tell Grumpy about how much he missed Adam and how he wished he could have saved him and how he was his first love back in Eden and why he chose Lilith was because she threatened to kill Adam. How Lucifer looked out for both his boys when they died and came to Hell.

And so many more things that made Adams heart swell.

Grumpy quacked at him, as if listening. "I hope wherever his soul ended up that it's at peace. He deserves it. I just wish I could have told him how much I love him." Lucifer said sadly, he knew what happened to souls like that. He didn't like to think about it.

He looked at Grumpy who seemed to be watching him. "I'm glad I found you Grumpy. You remind me of him."

Gee I wonder why that is, Adam thought.

Lucifer sighed. "Good night, my Grumpy duck. Sweet dreams." Lucifer leaned over and placed a little kiss on Grumpys beak before snuggling into bed.

Adam felt a tingling sensation in his little body. What was wrong with him?

He gasped when a flash of light took him over, Lucifer gave his own noise of surprise. When the light was gone, Lucifer looked on with wide eyes. "Adam?"

He wasn't an angel or a duck anymore, but a sinner with black and gold horns and red and black wings that looked fluffy like a duck.

Lucifer tried not to look down as Adam was butt ass naked.

"What?" Adam asked and he touched his face. He had fingers! He wasn't a duck anymore! "Holy shit!" Embarrassment settled in when he realized how naked he was. He used his wings to hide himself.

"You're alive?! You were Grumpy? Wait." Ooooh Lucifer told that duck so many feelings and secrets. "Adam, I-"

Adam launched himself at Lucifer and kissed him properly on the mouth. "It's okay Luci, I forgive you. Thank you for everything."

Lucifer swore he was gonna cry from how happy he was. Adam was alive and he forgave him. No better gift. He kissed him again and this time the kiss was longer and deeper. "I'm so glad you're okay."

They snuggled under the covers and talked about everything the last few months. They knew they would have to address everyone in the hotel about the situation.

But that could wait until morning.

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 11

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.7 K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

You spent your days wandering after Elain like a lost puppy. Everywhere she went, you weren’t far behind. You weren’t sure why you felt so drawn to her, but her presence brought you a sense of peace and comfort. She accepted you the way you were. Not that Feyre or Nesta didn’t, but Elain didn’t ask questions or look at you with pity, as you often found the other two doing. While you didn't talk much, Elain had no trouble putting you to work in the gardens on the roof of the House of Wind. Your knowledge from growing up in the mountains, farming, and cultivating in a harsh environment was invaluable. Elain welcomed your insights on deep-rooting plants and flowers that could withstand the torment of Ramiel mountain storms.

Sleep didn’t come easily, often disrupted by cold sweats when your mate managed his way into your dreams. Many nights you chose instead to bathe, sit on the balcony, or wander the great halls of the house. Feyre seemed content to leave you under the care of her sister, returning to her own home on the river, back to her old life and her baby boy. Nesta, too, filled her time, heading out early in the morning to train with her Valkyries. She offered for you to join her, but you politely declined, not quite prepared to leave the mansion's walls.

As soon as the sun crested the mountaintops, you would be out of your room and in the large kitchen, preparing your own food. You still opted not to join the rest of them for dinners, finding that the food they often ate unsettled your stomach with its complex flavors you hadn’t yet grown accustomed to.

After you had eaten, you would be on the roof of the manor, hands in the dirt, pulling weeds, tending to fresh blooms, and trimming away the rest. Elain would find you hours later, her wide-brimmed sunhat tied below her chin and a smile on her face. Often, Lucien would come to find her in the midafternoon, pulling her away for some task or another, with a coy, cheeky smile playing on his lips. She would disappear for the rest of the afternoon, and when you had finally finished tasks that should have taken less than half the time, you would wipe the sweat from your brow, shower, cook dinner, and try to sleep before the sun went down, hoping to get a few hours in before your mate found his way back in.

You hadn’t seen the elusive Cassian, who appeared to still be in Windhaven. You learned through whispered conversations between Feyre and Nesta that it was another Illyrian training camp. Unlike Azriel, Cassian seemed much more involved with the soldiers, so it brought you no small amount of relief when you overheard that Cassian’s stay would be extended a few more days.

On a particularly challenging night, when you couldn’t will yourself to sleep and the sun had long since set, you finally threw back the sheets and made your way to the kitchen, looking for anything to do.

Pouring through cabinets, pulling out various bowls and plates, and scouring the pantry, you decided to make a childhood favorite: cranberry cookies. You mixed the ingredients at a much slower pace than Elain, measuring them solely by heart and the memories of your mother, her hand over your own as she stirred the bowl, humming softly. The rhythmic motion of stirring the batter, combined with the sweet, tart aroma of cranberries, filled you with a bittersweet nostalgia. 

As the cookies baked, you leaned against the counter, watching the firelight dance on the walls. The familiar scent enveloped you, bringing back fleeting memories of simpler, happier times. Your mother’s laughter echoed faintly in your mind, mingling with the crackling of the fire.

You were so lost in your own mind, you didn’t hear the door to the kitchen open, and didn’t even turn to look until you heard the sound of clanging behind you. When you whipped around, Azriel was standing at the end of the island by the door, placing a pile of weaponry on top of it. His face was covered in dirt and grease, with black smudges around his eyes, which only highlighted how light his hazel eyes were. He wore the leather armor you had seen him in before, also covered in dirt and grime, and his hair was a wild mess.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think anyone was in here.”

You paused for a second, your hand perched tentatively on the edge of the counter as you took him in. You hadn’t seen him since the night he brought you here, and you weren’t sure if he had been busy or just avoiding you. Either way, you didn’t mind. “It’s fine,” you said, turning back to the stove and leaning against the counter.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, still pulling various knives out of hidden pockets around his armor.

You jostled your legs lightly against the cabinet. “No, not really.”

Azriel walked over to the sink, pulling off his gloves and attempting to unbuckle the vambraces on his forearms, which seemingly gave him trouble. He gripped the leather belt in his mouth, attempting to pull them apart. When he still couldn’t, you walked over to him. “Let me help,” you offered.

Azriel extended his arm to you, turning it upwards so you could better see the buckles, which you made quick work of. “Thank you,” he whispered.

As you undid the last belt, the armor fell from his arm into your hands, heavy and worn. He flexed his scarred hands and arms, the veins and muscles beneath protruding as the places where the belts had dug into his skin burned a dark red color. You held the heavy armor in your hands and considered how much the rest of the armor must have weighed. “Would you mind doing the other?” he asked.

You shook your head and took his other vambrace, undoing it and placing it next to the first on the counter. He shook his hands out, laughing lightly to himself. “You’d think after so many years of doing this I’d be able to undo my own armor.”

“I’m sure you would have gotten it,” you reassured him as he turned on the faucet, allowing the water to stream over his filthy hands. He cupped them, then brought the water to his face, scrubbing at the skin, the dirt and grease smearing more into his skin as he did so, water flinging around and landing on the counter. You took a step back to avoid the splash. He peeked out from his hands, “Sorry,” he said.

You turned to a drawer, pulling out a washcloth. “Stop,” you told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He seemed surprised at your touch, turning to look at you, water dripping from his hair and off his face. “You’re making it worse,” you laughed.

Azriel threw you a soft smile as you ran the cloth under the water, rubbing a bit of the bar soap into it until it suds up. He turned, leaning his hips against the lip of the sink, his scarred hands braced on either side of him as you prepared the rag. You wrung out the cloth, grabbed a tea towel hanging from a cabinet, and draped it over your shoulder. Stepping in front of Azriel, who towered over you, you noticed he lowered himself slightly, his face now just above your head.

You reached up, the damp cloth in your hand, and began wiping the dirt from his face, careful and deliberate in your movements. His skin, hardened and tight against his cheek and jawbones, softened under your touch. You avoided looking directly into his eyes as you traced the cloth down his nose, over the curve of his lips, and along his chin, revealing his beautifully tanned skin beneath. When you brushed your fingers over his brows, water dripped from the overhang into his eyes, and you laughed softly. “Sorry about that.”

He only smiled back, “It’s fine.”

You steadied his face with your other hand, gently pushing his hair back from his temple as you washed his forehead. Your mouth parted slightly in concentration, and when you finally managed a glance at Azriel, you noticed he was focused on your lips. You quickly closed them, a flush creeping up your neck. You continued to clean him, even after the dirt was gone, your touch becoming softer, more lingering as you traced the lines of his face. The intimacy of the moment hung between you, both hesitant to break the delicate connection.

The sudden dinging of the stove pulled you out of your trance, and you stumbled backward slightly. Tossing Azriel the tea towel to dry his face, you made your way over to the stove, trying to steady the fluttering in your stomach as you pulled the tray from the warmth of the oven.

Azriel chuckled, “My face is now the cleanest part of my body.” He dried his face with the towel, his hair still sticking out wildly, now damp from the rag.

“You’re welcome,” you noted, trying to sound casual.

He threw the rag and cloth into the sink. “Thank you.”

You pulled a cookie from the tray, taking a bite as the warmth melted on your tongue. Azriel washed his hands again, drying them before coming over to the stove. He kept a fair amount of distance between the two of you, a stark contrast to the closeness you had shared moments ago when you could almost press your body into his.

The room seemed quieter now, the air thick with unspoken words and unacknowledged feelings. You looked at Azriel, who was now examining the cookies with a sort of detached interest. “Want one?” you asked, offering the tray.

He nodded, reaching for a cookie. “Thanks.” He took a bite, the soft crunch filling the silence.

His eyes rolled back, closing shut as he leaned back slightly. “Mmm.” He let out.

“I know, right?” you replied, grabbing another cookie.

Azriel opened his eyes, taking another bite. “These are fantastic.”

“An old family recipe.” You brushed your hands together to get the crumbs off your fingertips.

“Do you bake a lot?” he asked.

You used to. When you lived with your mother, you were always baking something, using ingredients you could find in the woods or trade from other fae living nearby. You had even made these same cookies for your mate to seal the bond. Baking had once been a constant in your life, with some baked good always cooling on the windowsill of your cabin. And then, one day, you just stopped. “I used to,” you said quietly.

“You should start again,” Azriel replied, wiping his hands on his armor.

You took your time pulling the rest of the cookies from the tray, placing them onto a platter. “Maybe.”

Azriel watched you meticulously stack the cookies before placing a towel over the top. “How are you doing?” he finally asked.

You didn’t look up from your task, placing the baked goods in a breadbox. “Fine.”

“You seem to be doing well.”

You went to the sink to wash the pan. “I think I’m doing well, given the circumstances.”

You scrubbed the pan more than necessary, unwilling to turn and look at him.

“I think this is the most you’ve ever spoken to me.”

“Well, all the other times the circumstances were a bit different,” you replied, drying the pan, still not turning to him.

Azriel didn’t respond, waiting to see if you would say anything else. 

When you didn’t, he merely said, “I’m sorry for what happened.”

You paused, the pan still in your hands, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air. You finally turned to him, meeting his hazel eyes, now clear and free of grime. You felt a slight pang of fire start in your stomach, biting back what you wanted to say. “It happened,” you responded instead.

“If I could have stopped it, I—” You let the pan slip from your hands. Whether you lost your grip or the water caused it to be slick, you were unsure, but it clattered to the floor in a loud cacophony of bangs.

“Don’t,” you said, finally looking at Azriel, who seemed to be already moving to pick up the pan. “Don’t start that,” you warned.

“I just—” He continued.

You glared at him, the small flame in you growing higher. “You could have done something.”

“At the time, I didn’t even know where you were, I just heard you—” he said, making his way over to you. You took a step back.

“You could have done something before then.”

Azriel stopped, seemingly puzzled. “You told me yourself that you knew about her circumstances. You said it: her life was hard.” Your eyes scanned his as he took in and seemed to now understand what you were referencing. “You saw how she was with you when you touched her.” The flame in you grew into an inferno. “You saw how she slunk around the camp and hid from the males. You saw how she was battered, bruised.” You shook your head, trying to shake her face, bloodied and beaten, from your mind. “You knew. And you didn’t do anything.” You gulped back tears rising in your throat.

Azriel reached one hand out to you. “It’s complicated, Y/N.”

“Nothing about this is complicated,” you shot back. “You knew what was happening, and you were complicit.” You shook your head as silver lined your eyes. “Gods—did you know what they were doing to her? To all of them?”

Azriel’s mouth fell open as he stammered out, “I knew they were physically aggressive to them, but—”

“Did you know they were raping her?”

Azriel stopped in his tracks. “No,” he said.

You were unconvinced, just crossing your arms around yourself and shaking your head. “You had no clue?”

“No, if I had known, I would have—”

“What?” You asked, glaring at him. “Stopped them? You didn’t seem to care much when you knew they were beating her.”

“Illyrian culture and society, it’s—it's very old-fashioned,” Azriel continued.

“We don’t live in the old days,” you interrupted.

“Y/N, I’m trying to help them.”

“By letting them stay there?” you asked.

“They don’t want to leave,” Azriel offered.

“Anthea tried to escape. Did you know that?” A tear fell down your cheek.

Azriel paused again. “I didn’t.” He took a second. “But I’ve offered the others to leave, and they refuse.”

You yelled out, “They’re terrified to leave!” The tears began to run more. “What else do they know? Their entire life is brutality, and males taking advantage of them, hurting them. They are breaking every single day. They’ve never known kindness. How do they know to leave if anytime they defy someone, they are brought near death? How do they know there is anything out there other than that?”

Azriel just looked at you, his hands open in front of him, mouth slightly agape as you pushed the tears from your face. “You are promising them a life they can’t imagine exists. And none of you can see that because you don’t know what it is to suffer at the hands of someone else.”

Azriel’s eyes grew dark. “You cannot tell me I don’t know suffering.”

“Not theirs!” you yelled back.

He raised his voice, “I know my own suffering!”

You stepped back slightly, your hand hitting the sink as you recoiled from his yell.

He continued, his voice strained with emotion, “I know what it is to be hurt at the hands of those who should care for you. I know what it is to have your body brutalized. I know what it’s like to try and scrub your body clean of them and not feel any cleaner.” His eyes were black as you gripped the sink. “Do not tell me I do not know what it is to suffer.”

Your voice trembled as you said, “Then you should know what it is to have someone watch as you are hurt and no one steps in to help.”

Azriel’s eyes remained locked onto yours as your breath wavered slightly. “What do you want from me?” he asked.

You paused, unsure of what to say.

“Do you want me to burn it to the ground?” he asked, his face still tense. “Do you want me to rip them from their homes?” He gestured around himself. “Do you know what will happen if I do that? If I suddenly take them all?” He stared at you as you gulped down the fear. “I will have thousands of Illyrian soldiers banging at my doorstep. All of ours. Now, I know you’ve been living your little life of luxury up in the mountains, but those soldiers can kill faster than anything you’ve ever seen. They will tear this country apart bit by bit. Now, do you want that?”

You couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you hardened your own stare. “No.”

Azriel’s black eyes stayed fixed on yours. “Then don’t tell me how to govern these people.” He stammered slightly, “This—this is a delicate system and it requires finesse, not brute-fucking force.” He stopped, bringing his hand to his eyes and rubbing them. “I just—I want them out. I want this to be done. But I can’t change the mindset of thousands in one day. And I won’t risk the lives of everyone by being reckless.”

He looked at you, his face softening slightly. “I can’t do that.”

The tears poured from you as your heart beat wildly, your fingers gripping the sink with white knuckles. Your breath escaped you in ragged gasps as your body froze.

“Y/N,” Azriel started softly, “I’m sorry.”

You whimpered as he moved towards you, wincing back when he raised his hand. “No!” you screeched.

Azriel stopped, looking distressed. “Y/N—” he pleaded.

You dropped from the sink to the floor, curling into a ball as you cried. Azriel stood over you, stunned. “Y/N,” he repeated, his voice desperate.

You rocked back and forth, knees pulled to your chest, heaving out heavy sobs, unable to even fight back.

Azriel stooped down, and as he did, you pulled back even more, choking on your sobs. “What—what can I do?” he asked, helpless.

You whimpered again, trying desperately to wrap yourself into your body, to ball up and protect your midsection.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please,” he pleaded.

The kitchen doors burst open as Nesta came careening down the stairs, her hair wild and her silk nightdress flowing around her. “What did you do?” she screamed at him.

“Nothing!” he replied, raising his hands in defense.

Nesta dropped to her knees beside you, her hands cupping your face as she examined you. She turned back to Azriel, “Back the fuck up, now,” she commanded. Azriel leaned back, landing on his rear as he scooted away.

Nesta turned back to you, her eyes softening. “Breathe, breathe, love,” she cooed.

She took exaggerated slow breaths, which you mimicked. “Just look at me,” she instructed. “Deep breaths, in and out.” Her hands still cupped your face, steady and reassuring. “You’re doing a good job.”

Her calm, collected presence began to soothe you. “It’s alright,” she murmured gently. “You’re safe here.”

She continued to breathe slowly, deeply, guiding you through your panic. “Everything will be okay,” she promised. “I’m here with you.”

Azriel watched from a distance, his expression a mix of guilt and helplessness, as Nesta patiently comforted you, her voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves.

You breathed in and out in sync with her breaths as her thumbs traced the rhythm on your cheeks. “Just breathe. You’re safe,” she repeated soothingly.

From behind, Azriel whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Nesta hissed over her shoulder, “Shut it.” She turned back to you, “Keep breathing. It’s okay.”

When you finally steadied yourself, you instinctively leaned into Nesta’s chest. She wrapped her arms around your shoulders, murmuring, “It’s okay,” as she ran her hand over your head. “Just keep breathing for me.” She rocked you gently. “You’re safe with me.”

Your breaths grew less choked with sobs as your mind quieted. Nesta continued to remind you to breathe in and out, rocking in time with you, her hand brushing your hair back. “Just calm down,” she whispered.

She looked behind her. “Azriel, make yourself useful. Get me a wet rag.”

Azriel scuffled from the floor, leaning over the two of you to run a rag under water. He wrung it out and handed it to Nesta. She cupped your chin, your eyes meeting hers as she tenderly wiped your face, the coolness soothing your racing thoughts. “It’s okay,” she cooed again.

When she finished, she wiped some water that pooled on your chin with her arm and brushed her thumbs over your eyes. “You’re okay,” she reassured.

Azriel started to speak again, but Nesta, over her shoulder, hissed out, “I think you’ve done enough.”

Nesta wrapped her arms around you, lifting you slightly as you rose with her. “Come on.” Her strength was enough to lift you under your knees, cradling you in her thin but muscular frame. “Let’s go lie down.” You curled into her scent, warm and inviting, reminiscent of your mother, as her heartbeat filled your ears. You gripped at the silk of her gown as she walked towards the stairs. Turning over her shoulder, she instructed Azriel, “We can talk about this later.” She scanned the kitchen, “Clean this up.”

She walked out of the room, still cradling you in her arms, as she brought you through various hallways. Finally, she pushed through doors into an already darkened room. She placed you into sheets that had been tossed and turned in, and smelled of her, as she crawled in next to you. Cradling you to her, she brushed your hair from your face, still shushing you as she did. You pressed your head into her chest as she continued to whisper, “You’re safe. You’re safe with me.”

My lovely readers who have asked to be tagged, you are safe with me: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba

[beombear13]

Taehyun Head Canons

genre: smut

warnings: just full on smut, overstim??, some more but I forgot 😭

a/n: ok so this is my first story/post!! I’ve written stories before but not like this.. so I hope you enjoy. it is also not proofread so if there are any mistakes, I apologize! Story is below!

Taehyun who likes to press his nose up against your clit because he likes to see your legs shake and your jaw drop in pleasure.

Taehyun who sits you down in front of a mirror and makes you watch as he fingers you harshly because you said you didn’t like the way you look. So, he wanted to prove you wrong and show you how pretty you are especially when you’re fucked out.

Taehyun teaches you how to ride properly. Helping you lift your hips up, telling you to sink back down slowly. But you don’t listen and let yourself fall down harshly. You feel the tip of his cock abuse your poor cervix which causes you to sob.

Taehyun who makes out with your cunt for hours when he gets back from tour cause he misses you and all he could think about is how good it must feel to taste you warm cunt.

Taehyun who bends you over in the studio after inviting you to watch him work for the day. He noticed needy you were and decided to cure you over that hunger between your legs. And later on in their next comeback, you hear a familiar sound in one of their songs.

Taehyun who teaches you how to get him off, wrapping his large hands around your small ones and jerking him off slowly. Eventually, he lets go of your hands, letting you do it yourself. He gets surprised when you speed up and give countless kitten licks to the tip; something you’ve seen from a countless number of porn videos.

Taehyun who makes you sit on his cock while he writes songs after you’ve been bothering him all day. You called you over to his desk, pulling down your shorts and his as well, and made you sit down since you couldn’t wait for a second longer.

Taehyun who marks your neck for your male coworker to see after he seen him flirting with you. And the morning before you go back to work the next day, he would force you wear your collar down so everyone, including the dumbass that flirted with you, to see. The coworker never flirted with you after that and kept everything professional.

Taehyun who pounds into you after you made a bet that you can last longer in bed than him. You both tried each other but he ended up winning, of course. His cock was no match for you. But shocking, you lasted longer than both of you expected.

Taehyun who wakes you up in the middle of the night, moaning in his sleep from a wet dream. His hips were grinding against your ass, seeking any friction he could get. Lucky for him, you had been craving his cock the night before but was too embarrassed to tell him. So, you woke him up, and sucked his cock to help him. You may have even let him fuck you.

Taehyun who lets you dominate one night after you’ve been begging him. He lets you edge him and overstimulate him until he’s crying and begging for you to stop. He ends up enjoying it and lets you do it occasionally; but he lets you know the next day that it wont happen every time you two fuck by fucking you into oblivion.

Taehyun who buys vibrator underwear for you to wear when going out with parents for dinner. He stays at home controlling it. While you’re there, you’re falling apart and every time your parents look away from you, you let out a noise or make a face. Yet, when you get home, you see Taehyun sitting on the couch, smiling, knowing what he is doing to you. You sit next to him and he turns the vibration up all the way and presses it down on your clit until you cum harshly in the underwear and it seeps out onto Taehyun’s fingers and the couch.

Taehyun who pins you against wall in the shower and fucks into your warm cunt after washing off the soap on your body. You had a king day and you were stressed out from work. This was comforting for you.

Taehyun who shows you pleasure for the first time in your life. Having you suck on his middle finger and ring finger before sliding them inside and curling them up into the your g-spot. By the end of the night, your legs were a shaking messing. And all he did was finger you.. one time.

Taehyun who puts a pillow under your hips so he can reach deeper and hit different angles inside of you. He’s king enough to reach but needs the extra support for your pleasure.

Taehyun who invites his friend, Soobin, to come and watch you two fuck. Soobin gets so horny and jerks himself off. Taehyun sees how horny he is and invites him to fuck you. Soobin takes the chance and stretches you out more than Taehyun does. But his length can’t match Taehyun. You called out for Taehyun as Soobin fucked you harshly. Taehyun could only sit and smirk at you from the chair in the corner, watching your desperate face and calls.

Taehyun who puts clamps on your nipples, a double edged vibrator on you so one part is on your clit and the other part is inside of you, resting on your g-spot, and a butt plug in. He leaves you for 30 minutes, tied up to the bed with a blindfold on and a ball gag in your mouth. He comes back in to see your legs shaking, tears staining your cheeks, and your moans and whimpers bouncing off the walls.

Taehyun who coats your cunt and his dick in lube before slowly pushing himself in. He’s huge and stretches you out a lot. Tears fall onto your pink cheeks as the burning pain of him pushing in gets worse. He’s not even half way in you yet. He checks on you to see if you’re ok. You nod and tell him to keep going. He does and eventually bottoms out with a moan leaving both yours and his mouth.

Taehyun who absolutely destroys your cunt after he caught you talking with a a random guy at a party. You tried to explain but he doesn’t listen. Instead, you take it. Why? Because you were hoping to go home and get fucked anyways. After that night, you went down for breakfast and explained to him that the boy you were talking to was actually your cousin.