#‘i’ll get up if i see a disabled or elderly person’ ok so what if someone has an invisible disability?

[puttingwingsonwords]

thinking about that accessible bathroom poll and ‘there might be other reasons someone needs to use it other than disability and those people should be able to use it also’ and ‘you often can’t tell if someone really needs the accessible bathroom because they could have invisible disabilities so don’t go around judging people who don’t look disabled for using it’ and ‘don’t use the accessible bathroom stall if you don’t need to because it needs to be free for people who actually need it’ are all statements that can and should coexist

also if you’re worrying whether you’re ‘disabled enough’ to use the accessible bathroom you probably are

[mcheang]

Bustier salt Bustier's old teacher comes in and she's basically like Ms. Mendeleiev and Bustier hated her and couldn't stand her. Bustier's teacher critizes her teaching(Caline was the way she is even back then) until Bustier breaks down defeated

Odette Le Haut

I’ll admit I was inspired by the Ballerina/Leap movie for this rough draft. https://youtu.be/6JW_AD3rJqI

Ever since scarlet moth’s reappearance, the school board had been alert and decided to investigate the akuma class.

Considering that they decided to be thorough instead of hasty, by the time inspector Le Haut was sent to each class and lessons to monitor all the teachers, Chloe had already turned into Miracle Queen.

When the principal introduced the elderly woman, Caline had not recognised her at first.

She was a straight-backed lady with her silver hair in a neat bun, tailored navy suit, and a sharp mouth.

Inspector Le Haut eyed Caline and sighed, “Why am I not surprised you are teaching the akuma class, Caline.”

While Caline started at being addressed with such informality, her cheeks flushed at the nickname her class had been given, it humiliated Caline more than her class.

“Excuse me, but do I know you?”

“Come now Caline, you can’t have forgotten your old humanities teacher, now have you?”

“Professeur Costa!” Caline exclaimed, the memory coming back to her. Immediately she pasted on a saccharine smile and said rather stiffly, “How nice to see you. I didn’t know you had gotten married.”

“Yes, a nice lawyer I had met two years after I was promoted to work for the school board.” Oh rub it in; why don’t you?

Caline had hated this professeur. She was like Ms Mendeleiev but worse because she kept picking on Caline.

When Caline had been elected as class president, Professeur Le Haut has scolded her for not reporting the bullying that had gone on in her absence.

Professeur Le Haut supervised Caline’s fundraising and criticised her workload management because she is supposed to do more than her deputy.

Oh, and apparently Caline is terribly at solving bullying cases because she is quick to judge.

Needless to say, Caline had greeted her next humanities teacher- a dull, lazy man- with considerable enthusiasm.

Professeur Le Haut had saved the akuma class for last and she had followed them to all their classes for a few days.

To her credit, Professeur Le Haut didn’t interrupt the lessons and only interviewed all students during lunch.

She asked the students about the scarlet moth reappearance and looked skeptical at Lila’s disease and Marinette’s guilt. She asked Adrien how he felt about girls constantly invading his space. She asked Marinette if Caline has helped her prepare for Class presidency. Oh, and of course she interviews on everyone’s opinion of Chloe Bourgeois.

At the end of the week, the teachers all got their results. All passed, with the notable exception of Caline.

“But why?” Caline protested. “I’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t blame me for the akumatizations because some of them happened outside school! I don’t deserve to be suspended.”

Professur Le Haut’s face was impassive. “Caline, you lack responsibility and efficiency. You have little or no sense of decorum. You are without common sense, foresight, and fairness.”

“Oh come on,” Caline cried out in exasperation.

“On the good side, you have the positivity of a spring sun, but you let your students take advantage of that.”

“Where’s your evidence?” Caline demanded (hypocritically).

“Let’s see, shall we start with the obvious? You never corrected Chloe Bourgeois on her bullying behavior.”

“I was trying to set a better example by treating her with kindness! Her classmates need to learn to forgive her.”

“That is irrelevant. Her class can forgive her even if she is reprimanded. What matters is that for years, you have tried this lenient method of yours and it has not worked. For years, Chloe has taken advantage of said leniency to bully her classmates. You have only encouraged her to continue her bad attitude, and look what happened to her!”

“I,” Caline stammered, not sure what to say. It’s true, Chloe’s self-correction had been a long shot, but Caline had not wanted to give up.

“Speaking of bullying, we need to discuss a Miss Rossi.”

Caline blinked. “But we’ve cleared Marinette of the blame. Lila had a disease-“

“I am aware of that. I have made a thorough, in-depth investigation into Miss Dupain-Chang’s expulsion, and rest assured Caline, you are not to blame for this alone.”

Why was Caline not comforted by that?

“Using school security camera footage, I have found evidence of Miss Rossi stealing your test answers, planting the necklace in Marinette’s unlocked locker, and walking down the stairs before crying out that she was pushed.”

Caline was dumbstruck. “But that can’t be true!”

“Is it more likely that Marinette committed those crimes? We will get to her later, but right now we are seeing your lack of common sense Caline. You knew the test answers were stolen after it was over, so how could Marinette have cheated?”

Looking back, Caline now saw that she had reacted blindly and foolishly. But everyone makes mistakes, right?

“Regarding Miss Rossi’s lying disease and her other disabilities, I have called her mother and she told me her daughter was perfectly healthy.”

Ms Bustier sat back, her face as pale as chalk.

“Oh, and by the way, for some reason, Mrs Rossi was confused as to something about an Achu trip. Apparently she was told that the school was shut down for months because the principal had been akumatized.”

Caline swallowed.

“Is there any defense you would like to make regarding your management of Lila’s doctor notes, the miraculous curing of them, and her overseas trip to help a prince in a meeting meant solely for dignitaries?”

“No. No, I don’t.” It came out shakily. Caline was losing her composure.

“Oh, one more thing I have to add. From what I can see. I believe Lila Rossi is sexually harassing Adrien Agreste.”

“What?!”

“Yes, it means that when Lila keeps invading his personal space and he looks uncomfortable, Adrien is being sexually harassed.”

“I know what it means!”

“Do you? Then why have you not corrected Lila on her behavior? She behaves so in front of you plenty of times as far as I can see.”

Caline stayed silent.

“Now to Miss Dupain-Cheng. From what I have learned, you have let her handle the responsibilities of fundraisers and field trips with only her deputy to help her. Is that correct?”

Caline nodded, unsure where this is going.

”You let a student handle such massive responsibilities without even checking to make sure she got everything right? Or without helping to take some of the load off her. Even I never gave you that much responsibility.” I wasn’t stupid, was what she implied at the end.

“And when Chloe was in trouble, you decided to lecture Marinette in private. When she was accused, you accused her in front of the whole class. Why was that?”

“I...I wanted to advise her to learn forgiveness. Those are two different things!”

“Then why didn’t you want to teach the whole class to forgive?”

Caline’s defense faltered.

“I’ve seen how you have acted when the class has been akumatized. Do you remember Stoneheart.”

“Of course,” Caline smoothed out some strands of her hair, tucking them back. “Ivan had been shy about confessing his feelings to Mylene.”

“Yes, he had been bullied by Kim and when Ivan reacted, instead of investigating, you sent Ivan away, right into the akuma.”

At that Caline finally broke down and started sobbing into her hands.

Professur Le Haut looked at her former student with something like sympathy.

“Caline, I do not say these things to be cruel. I am being honest but you have always stuck to your own world view. Can you tell me now that you have acted with foresight and efficiency regarding Chloe?”

Caline sniffed and shook her head.

“Can you tell me that you have behaved responsibly and fairly towards Marinette?”

Now it was a sob that was followed by a headshake.

“Do you believe you have the common sense and decorum needed should Lila accuse Marinette about something else?”

“No! I don’t, ok? You’ve made your point!” Caline yelled, finally breaking down. “I’m a horrible teacher and it’s no wonder my class is the akuma class. Are you happy now?”

There was definitely pity now in the inspector’s gaze. “Am I happy that you failed? No. Am I happy that you are miserable? No. Am I happy that you have finally seen your errors and can learn from them? Yes.”

The inspector pushed forward a mug of warm tea to the sobbing teacher. “Drink. It’ll help to calm you down. We don’t want another Zombizou incident now.”

Caline obeyed. Her face was a mess.

At the end of the inspection, it was let known that the principal was fired (he went on to become a full-time staff at a community service center and kept wearing his owl costume there.) Caline was suspended but she was taking this chance to start over. Meanwhile their replacements got down to work. It was time for some changes to be made. Especially regarding Miss Lila Rossi.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Sickfic! Sickfic! Sickfic! This time do Markus please!

Software bugs always hits Markus hard.

---

[[MORE]]

It was no secret that adaptability and change came naturally the the perplexing mystery that was Markus, the one and only RK200 (Not to be confused by the female household RK200.v2 that Cyberlife had launched to spite Elijah Kamski, those were not at all affiliated with Markus at all and were more akin to upgraded AX400s).

Markus was an enigma. A chameleonic android that adapted to environmental changes and unexpected situations at the snap of a finger.

He had an arsenal of specialized programming and an accumulation of knowledge at his full disposal, and his strength and durability were both impressive and, quite honestly, intimidating in the face of other domestic types.

Despite all this, there was one big issue that came with a constantly mutating code: Viruses tended to hit Markus particularly hard when they fully set in.

---

It started with an "itchiness" in his borrowed parts. A most peculiar tingling in his legs, a stinging in the back of his ocular biocomponent, a buzz in his auditory receptor, a dull ache in his thirium pump regulator. When he'd taken them from the mass grave that was the Android Junkyard he hadn't had the time to scan them for malware.

Latent viruses were an absolute nightmare to deal with, especially Trojans, and Markus soon came to regret not taking the time to sit back and run a few scans in between meetings with Congress and conference calls with President Warren.

Like parasites straight from hell, the viruses in the spare parts began to eat away at his defenses. Injecting their venom into his veins. Opening up several doors to unwanted guests.

He never noticed the extra exposure to the maladies of the internet until one moment he was up, and the next he was on the floor suffering a full blown seizure. His body on fire and his mind scrambling with useless looping data.

The scariest part wasn't even being so utterly defenceless and in pain. The truly scary part was Carl finding him twitching on the floor making horrid screeching noises, and then seeing his father's face contort into one of confused panic and then full blown terror as he called out for help.

Josh carried him all the way to his room while North contacted the technicians at the tower, and Simon and Matthew comforted the elderly artist over Leo's confused shouts.

Markus felt ashamed for causing them distress. He felt even more ashamed for purging all over Josh's nice new jacket and button-up shirt.

---

When the technician's arrive (Rupert who, like Simon, still offered his services at New Jericho tower, and a human acquaintance of Leo's that had been applying for a position in the repair ward) they quickly determine the root of the issue.

"These parts... They are second-hand, yes?" Artyum questioned as he brought a flashlight to Markus's right eye, noting how it didn't react at the same rate to the change of lighting, while Rupert ran external scans.

"Y-yezsh..." Markus winced at the static tainting his voice. He sounded inhuman almost. Foreign to himself.

"Ah." The Russian clucked his tongue and shook his head "It is odd. Viruses not uncommon. Small Trojan files with very little impact besides stuffy voicebox and twitchy parts. Should not cause so much trouble."

"Yeah, but uh... Man this is weird." Rupert tapped the screen displaying Markus's vitals. His essence, his software, was not reading normally. "It's like the code isn't trying to fight it off. The firewalls just... Disabled themselves."

"Is that dangerous?" Leo inquired as he peeked over Rupert's shoulder. The small gathering in Markus's room all seemed a little alarmed. "Is the uh, is the firewall busted? Does he need a new one?"

"No!" Markus gulped, choking back a cough and trying to keep his voice clear while everyone turned to look at him "I... Is that not, is that not normal?"

"No." Simon replied with a grimace "That's not normal at all. When we get viruses our firewalls don't just disable themselves."

"Do... Yours do that?" Josh questioned.

"I... Yeah? They always have." Markus frowned, shifting uncomfortably under his covers as a mixture of awe, concern and fear seemed to wash over all of the androids and technicians in the room.

It was Artyum who broke the silence.

"I'm going to make quick call. Need answers to know how to proceed with... This case." He scratched his scraggly beard and moved out of the way, muttering under his breath as he looked for his cellphone in his pockets. "Keep updated on physical changes."

"Well, sure Art. Here's one! His skin's fucking going..."

"Leo!"

"Are you blind dad?! Look!"

"Be more tactful! Christ!"

Markus pulled the sheets over his head and whined. He could feel at least two hands reach down and patting him comfortingly on the leg and on the shoulder.

He hated getting sick.

"RA9... Just, wow. Look at the screen." Rupert whispered.

"Holy shit..." Josh sounded a little distressed "Markus's code is stripping the virus... That's..." Markus twitched uncomfortably and began to shake.

"Josh, shut up."

Markus let out a distressed sob from within his blanket cacoon. The hands over the covers and squeezed gently in reply.

"I... Damn I..." Josh sighed "I'm sorry Markus."

He didn't reply, instead reaching out for his friends. Three hands held his own bare one in kind.

Markus doesn't take it personally when North and Josh flinch from the heat. He's more concerned with Simon's lack of a reaction to the scorching pain.

---

"To put it simply, Markus is processing the viruses he caught."

"Elijah... I need to know if this will hurt Markus." Carl frowned at the screen, feeling his patience drain as the younger man smiled that obnoxious smile he put on for the cameras. The million dollar smile that got him through interviews with shallow careless people, not the one he reserved for a friend. Carl hated that smile.

"It'll put him through some pain and discomfort, but it'll ensure he's never affected by them again." Kamski dismissed over the call. "He might even be able to spread an anti-virus file specifically designed by his firewall to irradicate it. Our Markus is very efficient after all..."

"Elijah... We need to talk about this in person."

"Why, there is hardly any need for that old friend."

"Oh...There is." Carl's tone took on a slight edge, one that made Kamski's smile falter with unease "My son is terrified of himself. He has been for a while now... This has only worsened his doubts. You either come by and explain to me what you truly intended when you made Markus, or you'll explain why your health seems to have taken quite the turn for the better since 2028."

Kamski looked away from the camera. Check-mate.

"Did you think I didn't notice?"

"I'll be seeing you soon then. Expect Chloe and myself at a close date..."

"Thank you."

"Don't... The word of advice is don't thank me. You'll regret that quicker than you could say Rook."

---

Leo and Carl made an effort to check in on him. They shouldn't, when they had more pressing things to worry about with their own health, but empathy was a strong trait of theirs when they weren't too depressed or inclined to focus on self-loathing.

Markus loved that about them. Smiled and marveled as he discovered that it was a family thing and a commonality between his father and brother. In this case however, he hated it.

"You're not ugly you know."

"It... Its stupid." His voice doesn't crackle anymore but his voicebox hurts, which is weirder than his bizarre insecurities. "Millions saw me without my skin... But I... It feels, weird, not having it on around... Around you and Carl..."

"Simon told me you take it off for like... Intimacy and shit. Probably feels weird being uh, sexy naked for your family." Leo offered as Markus peeked from under the covers.

"Sexy naked-- When is being naked not sexy?" If he had eyebrows right now, one would be raised up incredulously.

"Three words. Naked drunk grandma." Leo grimaced "That old hag ruined my poor innocent mind..."

"That sounds even more absurd than your last statement."

"Naked grandma?"

"That you ever had an innocent mind."

Leo grimaced while Markus gave him a tired smile.

"You're lucky you're sick, Freckles the clown, cuzz otherwise you'd get a rotten tomato for your troubles..."

"Love you..."

"Yeah yeah... Love you too baldy." Leo rolled his eyes "Younger siblings, I swear to God..."

Well, fine, he didn't hate their visits after all. They were a comfort actually.

Even if his lack of skin did kind of bother him. He wasn't entirely sure why but it probably had less to do with intimacy and more with feeling like he didn't belong.

Like he wasn't a Manfred.

Carl would probably tear him a new one for thinking like that. Sick or not.

---

"Hm, vitals looking good. Traces of virus very minute. Code has processed everything and produced new file to add to firewall, all biocomponents should be returning to maximum efficiency in couple of days." Artyum stated as he and Rupert went through the final checkup scans. Markus's skin had returned in patches and his temperature had decreased back to the usual levels. "Outstanding programming. Remarkable... But very hard to work with."

"I'd say. But those anti-virus files are pretty sweet. We could probably make copies to use for the update patches next month... If uh, if that's ok with you Markus?" Rupert stammered as he looked through the firewall archive.

"I guess I might as well make use of them. Some of these viruses are crippling to older models, so a quick patch should help improve their systems..." Useful or not, being some sort of guinea pig that generated cures for his people was bordering the worrisome godlike status a lot of androids wanted to attribute to him. Markus didn't want to be a deity of some fanatic religion. He especially didn't want to be associated with miracle workers and mystic healers...

"Will go ahead and credit anonymous programmer." Artyum commented as he took out a flashdrive and handed it over to Markus "Extra attention is... Bad, yes?"

"I... Yeah."

"Know that feeling well..."

With the files safely copied into the flashdrive and the technicians off to make a difference at his expense, Markus sighed contentedly as he kicked back and picked up his book from the bedside table.

In a couple of hours it'd all go back to normal. His skin would come back fully, his voicebox wouldn't be strained, he wouldn't collapse suddenly into a heap and moan in agony, and he'd go back to dreading the next political events.

He hated getting sick.

He especially hated how abnormal his code kept proving to be.

But Simon, North and Josh looking at him with a little bit of worry?

That kind of hurt. That kind of hurt a lot.

He hated being sick...

[sunflower-petals]

Some Updates!

Hey guys!  So, I just wanted to update you on...well, life, and some projects!  It’s gonna be a long one, with some venting.  I’ll put all of it under the cut but if you want a short summary, here ya go:

The pack I was working on is a no go.  Lots happening in life, and I just can’t find time to finish it. I definitely took on more than I could handle, whoops.  But, I’ll release what I’ve made so far (which is a good bit!) Thanks & sorry guys. 

Alright, here’s the rest of my bs! 

Omg you guys, life’s crazy.  So, I haven’t talked much about me personally on this blog, but it’s time I guess. 

I live with my mom and take care of my two grandparents who have dementia.  I love them with all of my heart, but man, it’s overwhelming at times, and watching things get worse...well, it’s tough.  I went to nursing school (RN, still trying to get my license), and I do all the medical stuff.  It’s just a lot and sad at times. 

We also have an elderly dog; Lakita. Man, she’s been my best friend. She’s almost 16, and it’s getting difficult for her.  She’s a mix of welsh corgi, german sheppard, chow, and wolf (yes, she looks soooo weird lol).  Watching her and my grandparents decline is really hard. 

Sorry for the long post; just needed to vent a little. Please don’t feel sorry for me or anything like that; I’m not looking for pity or anything.  Really it’s not about me.  I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than taking care of them.  It’s just hard seeing the people you love age. 

Anyway, I’m not going anywhere!  Tumblr, the sims, and cc making have been such an escape for me! And you guys have been so awesome! I’m stuck at home most of the time so it’s cool to get on here and see what people are up to and talk sometimes. I figure a lot of you are in similar situations; I see some posts where people are stuck at home because they’re disabled or taking care of people, and the sims is like a refuge for them.  I can totally relate! 

ANYWAYS, the pack I was working on isn’t happening. I definitely bit off more than I could chew.  I need to learn more about meshing and whatnot before I jump into the deep end, ya know?  But, I made some stuff, and I’ll definitely release it! 

I have a lot of ideas too; more surgical scars, colostomy bag, skintones, more skin details, of course make up, more prosthetics, more braces, etc.  I really want to expand on the accessibility/disability cc this year.  A default skin is in the works too! 

Thanks for reading this long ass post lol. Hope you guys are doing ok! :)

[everydaymamaof3]

An awakening in a new decade...

2020, A new decade. A decade where we seem to be a bit more awakened to the world and to all of the bs, corruption and harm in it! We care about our planet and it’s species, more now than ever...and it’s funny because this was the prediction for 2012. The mayans predicted an awakening felt across the world. So maybe this awakening is just a little bit late.

For me personally, it’s also a bit of an awakening, this is an amazing decade ahead, of things I’ve manifested. I plan to expand my business. My first born daughter is getting married, and has followed her career dreams. My husband is doing incredibly well in his position. My girls are thriving. My friendships are genuine and real. My self esteem is on point. My focus is clear. My goals are precise. But it wasn’t always this way. And I will continue to be a work in progress. I manifested my main goal in life, to be a good mom, inspiring, and an honest role model. Even though I made some terrible choices in the past, I still managed to do this. You are not your past.

Some things that I’ve learned from the last decade about myself are, I still suffer a very small amount, from insecurities due to other people’s views of me. It’s psychological I’ve realized. It’s from emotional trauma through my period of self destruction. People can be so cruel. There’s no way to sugar coat this. And through my difficult time, other people’s views affected me more than they’ll ever know. Whispering, judging, spreading rumours...it DESTROYS people. It took me 12 years of clarity, to finally feel and realize that people do this out of their own insecurities. A good trick I’ve learned, is to look for the good in people, and ask yourself, why are they the way they are? Why do they find me so interesting. Why do they whisper about others? Why do they treat people that way? Why do they need other people to make them feel whole? When you turn bitterness, jealousy, and envy, into empathy or even sympathy and curiosity, and start to think about them and their choices and surroundings, it’s much easier to swallow and to move past it. And you know what, if you have these feelings, that is OK! Whether people are or aren’t judging you. If you didn’t have these feelings, you wouldn’t be human! We all get jealous, or envious, or insecure. Just figure out how to deal with it. How to release it. It’s NOT your burden to carry what others think of you.

I’ve learned that my body is beautiful, I love it. It brought me my beautiful daughters. My husband finds it sexy. He loves my curves, my strong arms, and even my little bit of cottage cheese on the backs of my thighs. Yep I said it. And cellulite sucks. Bless sarongs.

We live in an era now where social media is taking over the world, almost forcefully it seems. It’s become a normal part of our lives. It’s how people communicate, stay in touch, blog, inspire, sell, promote, complain...which isn’t great, but hey, better out than in (wise words from Shrek). People are open about anxiety and depression and panic attacks, and the struggles of parenthood, and many more struggles, and it’s much more normalized now, because it IS part of being human. A big trend in society is wellness. Documentaries on thinking yourself well, how the mind and attitude contribute to your overall health. Which, I mean, how great is that? There’s a huge abundance of it on social media.

I personally get anxiety from time to time, I recognize it, I share it, using writing to express myself, I move past it, and I find a lot of inspiring, real life women from across the globe, posting about the very same thing, and how they personally cope and manage. It’s a great tool for advice, tips and feeling human.

Exercise is my go to for EVERYTHING! Same routine for the past 10 plus years. Up early, coffee, workout, start the day. I love working out in the comfort of my home, I didn’t always, but once I got into a good groove, I really started to love it, and as I’m aging, I’m also noticing more tweaks and pangs in my body, so I listen. I alternate workouts, whether it’s running, or yoga, or HIIT, or my newest passion, spin!

I feel good, I feel fit, I’m not skinny. I’m strong, and maintaining muscle mass as we age is crucial in keeping our bodies strong, so if I can emphasize one thing, it’s be, and stay active. Good for mental health and good for physical health. And please don’t diet! It’s a short term solution! Be patient and consistent with just a well balanced diet, smaller portions, better choices, vegan is seriously amazing, and do something active everyday for at least 20 minutes.

Now back to the social media thing...it’s a wonderful tool, but it’s also a very damaging tool to people suffering from low self esteem or who are comparison living. I find myself getting caught up in it too sometimes. And I notice my emotions drastically change. I don’t feel great, and it turns into irritation, and mood swings. Hmmm irritation and mood swings from scrolling social media? Sound familiar? Yeah...because it happens to most of us. What is it exactly? Jealousy? Annoyed? Just an overload of pretend? Comparing? So guess what...change it. Unfollow. Hide. Or eliminate. Anyone who doesn’t make you feel good when you see their picture or post, should not be on your feed. My biggest goal this year and forward, quality in life, over quantity. “The little red heart on Instagram is now widely considered currency for public approval” ~ Health Canada How unhealthy does that sound?

Some don’t like my honesty, but I’ll never change who I am because of it. I like to share personal and honest so that whomever out there, even if it’s just one person, can read it, and exhale and feel normal or not alone.

You don’t have to accept aging if you don’t want to. You can express being overwhelmed. You don’t have to be a part of something that you can’t be yourself in. You don’t have to go to that family function. You don’t have to please people. An actual statistic, 64% of women have people pleasing coping mechanisms!!! 64%!! That’s 6.5 out of 10 women are trying to please others at the cost of what?

You are the only person who can protect your peace and those who matter in your life, really don’t mind. Remember my blog about the ripple affect. It’s very real. Push yourself to be or do what you don’t really want to be or do, and watch it ripple down into other aspects of your life. Relationships shift, weight shifts, work is harder than normal, motivation tanks...it all gets affected when you aren’t living true to yourself. And when I say true to yourself, I mean, when you are feeling at your best, not questioning anything, or putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, when you feel like the best version of you, stop and take note of what’s exactly going on in your life, and strive for more of that. It’s not all gonna be perfect, there’s always gonna be ebbs and flows...but you shouldn’t be living everyday feeling awful on the inside, but smiling on the outside. Reach out. Or write it down and burn it. Find a way to get back to you. Have a time out.

Surround yourself with people who truly inspire you. Who are consistent in their behaviour. Who you feel really good around. Not unsure, or uneasy. That, my friends is your intuition speaking to you when you don’t feel quite right around a person or people, or in a situation you shouldn’t be in. Listen to it.

Yes it’s great to step out of your comfort zone, but not at the cost of your peace.

I used to feel bad about being such a home body, I’m missing this and that, but in the past few years I’ve stopped feeling bad about it, because this time, right now, this tiny window of time that I have with my kids is so valuable and important to ME personally. Travelling with my family, weekend activities, downtime.. I’ll have all the time in the world to do other things when they’re grown. And that’s just me. Some women thrive on ALL of it! And you are amazing too! I feel overwhelmed and get run down easily if I pile my plate too high...maybe because I’m an energy absorber? Maybe not. But I’ve learned that I don’t function at my best on mom auto pilot. I’ve learned though to say, I’m tapping out, BEFORE the eruption of motherhood. That’s part of getting to know yourself. Time with your spouse. Time out. You time.

Don’t set unrealistic goals, don’t force yourself to do things you don’t wanna do, celebrate yourself with self care as much as you can, confide in your spouse, or closest confidantes, and nobody else, change jealousy and bitterness to empathy and curiosity about why people are the way they are. And use challenges with people as growth.. what did I learn from this.

Everyone’s fighting a battle we know nothing about! Even the happiest people in the world have struggles now and again!

I’m enjoying the shift I see happening in the universe. People calling people out for their wrong doings. Not accepting that in our world more and more. Reusing more. Not ashamed to state we buy used. Used clothing is no longer taboo! People are spending more time with family. More time getting to know themselves, FOMO is becoming a thing of the past, as it’s now trendy to enjoy being a homebody, listening to a podcast. Women are empowering each other more than ever. If a woman is body shamed by one or two, one hundred or two hundred are defending her. Magazine covers are curvy women, elderly women, disabled women...and they’re just as beautiful, as any model that graced the covers in the past. Men are allowed to cry and show emotion, and promote being family men and active dads over “bread winners and workaholics”. Skinny is out. Healthy is in. Strong is in. Kindness is in. Vegan is in. So even though the world still seems a bit scary, it is shifting...focus on the positives. And allow yourself to have days where you see the negatives, but don’t stay there, allow it, move on. You are human. It’s not only unrealistic, but unfair to yourself to not have bad days! They’re growth days ♥️

Living your life simply, true to yourself, focused on the right priorities, knowing you are loved, and giving love back, is how you manifest all the goodness and goals and dreams. Living otherwise is putting a block on allowing good things into your life ✨ Just be you and watch the magic happen.

[tjkiahgb]

I think body language is really important in breaking down the TJxBuffy interaction. TJ seemed genuinely sorry. On a side note, could you do one of your verbose analysis and anaylze the burden of fault between Buffy, Cyrus and TJ in the context of moral relativism or whatnot?

So, this ask was sent to me last week while I was already in the middle of writing that whole TJ post that went deep on body language, but I kept it for a couple of reasons.

1. It referred to my writing as verbose, which is the perfect adjective for it. Thank you.

And 2. I wanted to wait a little for more clarification on the whole Buffy, Cyrus, and TJ thing. And, now, an episode later and with the knowledge of those text messages from the app, I feel no more certain about what happened.

Still, let’s try to look at the situation anyway.

TJ asks Cyrus how he could get Buffy to do something for him. Cyrus says it’s easy, you just have to tell Buffy her favorite thing to hear. And the two walk off and we don’t see the rest of the conversation but we understand later Cyrus told TJ to tell Buffy “You’re right.” Hearing this, Buffy chooses to do TJ’s homework for him.

Here’s how I originally read this: Cyrus, knowing Buffy as long as he has, knows Buffy loves to win, so Cyrus tells TJ that if he wants something from Buffy, he needs to make her feel as though she’s won, ie. something like telling her she’s right.

Then who’s at fault? Well, mostly TJ. He initiated a plan meant to trick Buffy. But Cyrus shares a small chunk of the blame. He gave TJ a psychological window into Buffy that TJ was able to exploit. And Buffy? I’d say, yeah, some blame. Her love of winning at all costs is a character flaw. (Guys, it’s ok to admit Buffy has character strengths and weaknesses, like literally every other character on the show.) It’s led her in the past to doing some questionable things, like running an entire relay race by herself or destroying Marty’s sneakers. So, Buffy, feeling she’s picking up a victory on TJ, decides to do his homework. I don’t know how you want to slice up the blame pie, but that’s still a conscious decision she makes, so she does at least take a sliver of the blame pie. The kind of slice someone takes when they go, “I don’t know. I’m on a diet. Oh, alright! I’ll just have a little piece. It is a blame party after all!”

Given this framing of the situation – which, honestly, that’s what I’ve been presented on the show, how could I imagine it’d be something wildly different? – I thought Buffy’s ultimatum to Cyrus was harsh. I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable, but, for my tastes, harsh. He’s a childhood friend. You have a couple days left with him. But, you know, I’m speaking from my perspective. I’ve always been a forgive and forget type of guy. I dealt with a similar situation with a couple of friends in middle school and I spent the better part of a week trying to mend fences.

Anyway, this was my line of thinking before those insane text messages came out on the app.

I asked around last week trying to figure out how canon those texts are but I still don’t have a great answer for it. @citrusella-flugpucker put it best, I think: “At ‘worst’ it’s ‘level 2 canon’ probably (i.e. canon unless disproven).”

Without posting the entirety of the conversation, here are the most important parts. Buffy texts Andi talking about the Cyrus situation and she says this:

“Remember how my grandma used to doubt everything I said? And always asked me “are you sure?” and “that doesn’t sound right”? … Years ago, I told Cyrus that b/c of her, now I’m a sucker for anyone who DOESN’T question me to death… And just agrees with me and tells me I’m right. … He told TJ that! He told TJ to manipulate me by telling me that I’m right!”

Wait. What?

The framing I had made sense, right? With what we know of the characters, it made sense. TJ manipulates. Cyrus maybe doesn’t realize the full extent of what he’s doing when he gives TJ insight into Buffy’s desire to win. Buffy’s desire to win gets the better of her.

But this? This changes that interaction wildly. TJ’s blame sort of stays the same, Buffy’s blame is entirely gone, and Cyrus looks horrible here.

There’s a huge distinction between saying, “Buffy likes to win, so you’d have to make her feel like she’s won,” and “Sure, TJ, here’s a deep psychological trauma that Buffy has that goes all the way back to when she was a child around her withholding grandmother. You just have to say ‘You’re right,’ to her.”

It’s the difference between: here’s something I know about someone that anyone who gets to know her would understand and here’s a Manchurian Candidate style code word she once told me about in confidence that you can now use to make her do whatever you’re asking. The first one a lot of people might’ve been able to tell TJ about Buffy. TJ might’ve even been able to intuit that out himself given a little time. The second one? Yikes.

Cyrus even tries – again, in the text game on the app – to explain he didn’t mean it to be malicious. But, dude, you can’t share something so deeply personal to someone else like that. Even if you don’t intend it to be malicious, even if you don’t share the story itself, you know the story behind telling TJ to say “You’re right.” And you know you’re not telling him for any reason other than manipulation. TJ made it clear right out of the box what his intention was.

Also, not as important, but just to note: in this context, the interaction between TJ and Buffy in the library gets weird. Instead of Buffy looking at TJ, thinking she feels sorry for him and feeling good about having diagnosed his disability and winning this little battle they’ve been having, she’s instead looking at TJ when he’s saying, “You’re right,” and thinking, “Grandma?! Grandma!” TJ’s talking, but all Buffy can see is her elderly grandmother finally, after all these years, admitting to her that she’s smart and is right about something?

My problem is, other than that being odd storytelling, there’s no way you watch that scene and pick up on any bit of that subtext.

(This whole post, by the way, is based on the idea that she has never mentioned her grandma in this context on the show before. I don’t think she has. I definitely don’t remember it, but I did some searching just to be sure and I couldn’t find anything. Feel free to yell at me in the comments if I’m blanking on this.)

Anyway, I was honestly just hoping to ignore those texts. I want to assume the app is just a game run by the social media team to engage some viewers who go looking for it and whoever was writing them got a little carried away in creating backstory. I’m guessing the majority of people who watch the show don’t go sniffing out all those texts.

At the very least, there can’t be enough people reading those texts that you’d drop a prism-changing bomb in them like that.

Then again, I have to assume the writers’ room at least has some idea of what’s happening on the official app, if someone from the room isn’t writing those themselves.

Unfortunately, we didn’t really get any clarification in this week’s episode. It was being weirdly cagey about it. Cyrus asked multiple times for Buffy to explain what he did, and Buffy never really got into it. Just a lot of, “you know what you did” type stuff.

But then I guess that sort of makes sense, because if Buffy did say something about Cyrus betraying her over the “Grandma stuff,” most people watching the episode would’ve been like, “Wuh?”

Since it seems like the Buffy/Cyrus break-up storyline is sort of wrapped up, too, I don’t think we’ll ever really get a concrete answer to what Cyrus really did.

If it’s the original reading, I feel Buffy’s being reasonable, if a bit too harsh. If it’s the grandma reading, she might not be behaving harsh enough. You cannot be out here sharing those kind of traumas with people.

It also shades how much Cyrus is standing up for himself in this week’s episode. Would he really be defending himself as strongly as he was if he leaked the grandma stuff? He’s a good, caring kid. He’d have to understand how far a line he crossed.

It’s all a bit strange.

Anyway, I was going to bring this up in the episode recap I’m working on, but I figured I’d save a ton of real estate in that post by putting down all those thoughts here.

Hope that was verbose enough, anon.

[meereschristophers]

Stuckied in an elevator

“Is this thing stuck?”

“Looks like it.” Bucky seemed more bored than anything.

“Well, I’d like to know for sure and do something about it if we are really stuck here”, was Steve’s reply. Sensible as ever.

“Maybe it’s just a slow elevator. You’ve gotten used to the one in Tony’s tower but some elevators are older than you are!”

Steve looked skeptical and annoyed now. “You’re exaggerating!”, he accused Bucky.

Bucky just shrugged and sighed, then stood up straighter. Finally he said, “I think you’re right, this thing is stuck. There should be a button somewhere…?”

At this point, the light went out. Just like that, no last feeble flicker, no, it just went out very unceremoniously.

Of course they had flashlights, so that wasn’t much of a problem.

Steve found the emergency button first and pressed it. There was a speaker next to it that crackled feebly. No voice came out of it to ask what the emergency was, however. “Hello? Excuse me, I think we are stuck in elevator 4?!” Still no reply. Steve tried several times, then gave up on the speaker. He tried the manual door handle instead. Of course, the door opened only to reveal a solid wall. No door in sight and the space between the elevator and the wall was too narrow to even think of squeezing through.

“We could get out of this easily”, remarked Bucky.

“We’re not in a hurry and these things are expensive. I’d rather not do unnecessary damage. It’s very likely that this is just a temporary power outage and we’ll be out of here in a couple of minutes.”

“More likely hours!”, complained Bucky.

“…or hours”, admitted Steve but he didn’t seem fazed by the prospect.

Bucky put on his darkest, grumpiest face. He knew they’d been in worse situations than waiting in a stuck elevator, but maybe that was the problem. He hated feeling stuck and he hated not having anything to do. His brain was not a safe place to spend too much time in without distraction.

Steve wasn’t worried in the slightest. He didn’t mind waiting, it was peaceful and they really were in no hurry. For a change. He even smiled at the thought that after all the elevator-related adventures he’d had, simply being stuck in one was so refreshingly normal.

“Why do you even care if it’s expensive? Lets just cut a hole in the roof and climb out!”

“It’s not really about the money, Bucky. Look, if we destroy this elevator, even if we’d have no trouble paying for it, it would still take several days at least, probably weeks, until it was repaired. Think of all the people who need it! And just imagine, we cut a hole in it and at that exact moment the light flickers on and we continue our journey! That would be embarrassing. I don’t think power outages last all that long, normally.”

Bucky grumbled. He didn’t like that Steve was so reasonable. What’s the fun in being Captain America if you can’t even smash through an elevator when it’s stuck?

Steve looked at Bucky sideways and chuckled.

“What?!”

“Nothing, it’s just kind of cute how impatient you are! You’d think after being frozen for so long–”

“That’s just it!”, shouted Bucky, turning around and facing Steve, “That is exactly the problem! How can you be so calm! Your plane crashed and you were crushed by tonnes of icy water and frozen for decades and it doesn’t bother you at all? I don’t believe you!”

Steve was taken aback and didn’t know what to say. They just stared at each other for a while, illuminated by their flashlights and closely surrounded by metal walls.

Suddenly, another voice broke the silence, shouting: “Hello! Is there someone in there?”

Bucky turned to face the door, then looked up and answered: “Yes!”

“Sorry about that!”, replied the voice (probably the janitor, Steve and Bucky both guessed), “There is a power outage, nothing to worry about. You are not in any kind of danger. Do not panic! How many are you? Any children, disabled persons or elderly?”

“Just two of us, and we’ll be fine”, shouted Steve back.

“Um, technically I’m disabled”, grumbled Bucky but not loud enough for the presumed janitor to hear.

“The power will probably be back on in an hour or so. If it takes much longer, I’ll call the fire department to get you out. Do not attempt to break out by yourselves! That would be highly dangerous and insurance won’t pay for cases of unintended use.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and balled his fists, but he bit his lip.

“OK”, shouted the janitor, “I’ll have to check on the other elevators.”

But Steve interrupted her: “Do you have a phone number we can call just in case?”

“Well, you can always call 911 if you get reception in there”, the janitor called back, “but I’ll give you my number, too, hang on”

After the janitor had left, Bucky rounded on Steve. “See? They have other elevators! She just said so! It won’t matter if this one is out of order for a couple of days!”

Steve gave him a stern look, but then put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Hey, I know this is stressful for you, but she also said it won’t be long. I think it’s best if we just wait, hm?” He looked at Bucky expectantly, but he just scowled.

“At least you’re not alone this time”, Steve tried to comfort him.

They both sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Bucky leaned his head on Steve's shoulder and mumbled “Thanks.”

Steve sighed. “I’m sorry. I should have realized that it’s not just an inconvenience for you, or a matter of being impatient.”

Bucky snorted. “You don’t say!”

Steve wrapped his arm closer around his friend and said: “I think it’s easier for me. You asked how I can be so calm, but it’s not an act, Bucky, in fact I was thinking how normal this whole situation is. Not so long ago a full team of trained professionals tried to arrest me in an elevator – I had to jump from the eighths floor! Compared to that this is a picnic. Literally.”

“Do you have food?”, Bucky asked and seemed genuinely interested in a snack.

“What? That’s not–”, Steve turned his head to look at Bucky, “That’s not what my story was about. I was just saying that this isn’t dangerous or anything, so we should just make the best of it.”

“Exactly! Eating calms me down. Plus it has been a while since breakfast!”

“Uh, if you say so.” Steve rummaged in his backpack for a bit and, sure enough, handed Bucky an energy bar while taking one for himself, too.

Bucky started eating immediately. “It’s good to know that I can always count on you for being well equipped!”

Steve chuckled. “You could have packed snacks yourself, if it’s that important to you!”

“I didn’t know we’d be stuck!”, Bucky defended himself.

After they’d both finished their energy bars, Steve asked: “Feeling better?”

“A bit.” Bucky still didn’t look very happy. But then, he rarely did that anymore at all.

Steve frowned. “C’mere”, he put his arm around Bucky again and pulled him closer. Bucky leaned against him and Steve had the strangest feeling, like an anti-déjà-vu, as though the roles had been reversed. How often had Bucky comforted him after he’d been in a fight with bullies twice his size? After he’d lost his mother? Steve tried not to think about it. He wasn’t that small boy anymore and Bucky wasn’t the carefree youth he’d once been, either.

"It's almost as if our roles were reversed", he said, "You used to be the carefree one! Successful, handsome and popular with the ladies, lads and fairies too! And I was always struggling, and, it seemed, losing. And not only losing fights…" He didn't have to spell it out, they both knew he was thinking about his parents.

"You sure know how to make me feel better!", scoffed Bucky, "But I guess you're right. Now you're the popular and unbeatable hero, who got what he dreamed of! And you're even the good-looking one out of the two of us!"

Steve laughed. "You're still good-looking!"

Bucky grinned, trying to act as though this compliment was ridiculous and didn't cheer him up (even though it did).

After a short pause, Bucky said: "No, but seriously. You got what you always dreamed of: The chance to serve! And not only that, you got so much more than you could have ever hoped for. Me? I got almost the same serum, but it was while I was captured by Nazis and tortured. Then I almost die but no, it gets even worse than that! Being frozen, experimented on, brainwashed, tortured some more, forced to play the obedient, mindless killing machine of my own enemies…" He swallowed and lapsed into silence.

Steve didn't know what to say, so he just hugged him a bit tighter. Then he said quietly: "You're right. What happened to you and to me was almost the opposite. Even when my plane crashed and I was frozen for decades, I went into it with open eyes and willingly. I had choices and I did what was necessary and I would do the same again. Maybe that's why it doesn't haunt me the same way. I mean, I can't say it doesn't bother me at all, but it's manageable."

Bucky sighed and Steve could tell that he had his glummest glowering face on, even though he couldn't see his face clearly as they were sitting closely next to each other and facing the same direction, the same blank metal wall that was only two feet away. Steve now found it easy to understand how this wall would seem much too close, threateningly close, for someone like Bucky.

"Yeah, and don't forget: You also had a thousand fans and supporters the moment you did as much as open your eyes!" Bucky seemed to be bitter, but Steve understood that he wasn't accusing him. He just needed to get all this out of his system.

So Steve followed Bucky's line of thought: "Whereas you were hated, suspected of crimes you didn't commit, hunted, and even frozen again…" Steve swallowed. "You know, I knew all these things, but somehow… somehow I haven't thought of it like this before. It's a wonder you're dealing as well as you are! I mean, I'm proud of you."

Bucky leaned his head against Steve's shoulder. When he spoke again, Steve was surprised to hear that his voice was muffled, as if he'd cried or was about to. "I don't think anyone's ever said that to me, ever, since all these horrible things happened."

They just sat there in silence for what felt like a long while.

Eventually, Steve said: "You're not alone anymore. And I'll make sure you're not alone ever again! And I don't just mean I'll have an energy bar packed just in case, I mean I'll listen. And I really am proud of you."

When the lights suddenly flickered on again and the elevator resumed its journey as though nothing had happened, they both jumped. They'd almost forgotten where they were and why.

When they stepped into the daylight shortly after that, the world seemed somehow changed. Maybe a bit of (literal) darkness and confinement made it easier to appreciate the sun and open space outside? But Steve and Bucky both felt that something else had happened.

Bucky gave him a sideways glance, smiling. "So, what do you think about ice cream? And maybe we could go dancing later?"

author's notes: Yes, he is asking Steve out on a date. Whether it's their first date or they've been together for a while (maybe since before Steve got the serum?) is up for the reader to decide.

Also I hope my reference to "fairies" = (gender-)queer people is accurate enough for the time-period and place - I'm not good at american slang, sorry! It just felt weird making Steve use “nonbinary” when talking to Bucky about old times, but also Steve wouldn’t just leave nb people out so, idk, 

[conservativemalarkey]

why do conservatives whine about taxes being theft and get shook when others talk about rent being theft?

OK. The short version: they understand the social contract differently from liberals and leftists. Liberals tend to see the social contract in terms of what people can do for each other. Conservatives tend to see it in terms of what people can’t do to each other.

Long version: 

The social contract, for anyone who hasn’t hit World History and/or Philosophy 1001 yet, is a theory about the origins of government. Basically: in the ‘natural’ state of things, people are free to do whatever they want, including hurting or killing each other. Most people figure out pretty quickly that this is not a good way to live, and come together to form a society. In society, you give away some of your rights and recieve responsibilities- but you also recieve some rights and privileges for being a member of society.* It’s like each citizen signs an unspoken contract when they become an adult: “I promise I’ll do xyz, and in return I get xyz.”

People left of centre tend to see this contract as a list of things people will do for each other. “I promise to help support people who can’t support themselves, speak for people who have no voice, and build up a strong community; in exchange, I’ll have the help of other people in the community if I’m ever in trouble.” Taxes fit perfectly into this model- you put a little money into the pot and use it on whatever the community needs, everyone benefits from the results. 

This seems self-evident, in a ‘why would anyone see this differently’ kind of way. But conservatives don’t tend to think like this. 

Conservatives often don’t trust people they don’t know. This is partly because they’re authoritarians and anyone they don’t know is probably not in proper submission to the right authorities, and partly because conservatives have often inherited a history of persecution-- from distant ancestors getting their heads beat in by other kinds of Christian for being the wrong religion, or, more depressingly, because they’re poor and/or elderly and/or disabled and/or are ‘hicks’ and thus have the wrong culture to be taken seriously by mainstream America. They’ve got a fortress mentality going on. Some of it is justified; a lot of it ain’t. 

So conservatives often just want to be left alone. They do not want people they don’t trust up in their business. Most of them would like to live in the State of Nature where you don’t have any civil society beyond your family and, maybe, your local church or a very small hometown you defend from attackers.**  But they (correctly) intuit that living in the State of Nature sucks.

So the philosophy behind conservative thinking on what government should do is that it should mostly be a justice system- an arbiter of crimes and punishments- and not much else. The military exists to police the world outside America and punish other countries who do something wrong. The police and fire department exist to keep you safe from other people and acts of god. Other than that, everyone needs to trust in themselves. 

Government, in this model, exists to protect you from other people- not to help build up a community. You want your communities as disconnected from the outside world as possible, if you’re thinking like a conservative, because you don’t know who you can trust in the outside world, but you know who you can and can’t trust in your community.***

Income taxes, in this version of the social contract, are theft- they are taking money away from you and giving it to strangers. Because of years of conservative propaganda, most conservatives think the biggest chunk of government spending goes to welfare, and specifically welfare for black people so that Democrats can cynically buy their votes. They do not want their money to be spent this way, and are about as angry about this as we are about the military-industrial complex, even though it’s demonstrably untrue. And ... while a lot of money in the form of welfare goes to people in the sticks, they’re not seeing a lot of the other benefits of taxes, because the American government’s system of handing out money is screwed up. 

Rent, on the other hand, is a contract you enter into of your own free will, and conservative propaganda says it’s good because capitalism is good. Also-- a lot of the time, rent in small conservative towns is pretty cheap, because no one wants the land it’s on. For example, a studio apartment in Chicago is, on average, around $900 a month; in Kokomo, Indiana, that will get you 3 bedrooms.  The costs of living out in the sticks are mostly ‘having a car’ and ‘getting food and other essentials’, not ‘rent’. So rent isn’t nearly as big of a concern for conservatives in the sticks- besides, it’s just part of the cost of living, that’s the way life has always been. Conservatives really believe that you have to work to survive, and if you think otherwise, you’re either stupid, lazy, or both. 

So yeah, that’s why they get shook. In their heads, you’re basically saying “the way you think society should be is wrong on a fundamental level”, with a side of “I’m going to rip you off and then tell you you should be grateful because I’m ‘helping’, even though you’re seeing no benefit from it” and “I deserve to get to lie around and do nothing while you work for a living, because someone’s got to work for a living for the world to keep going”. 

*There’s some dispute, particularly on the Far Left, over whether this is accurate, because social contract theory tends to assume that everyone is a rational actor working out of enlightened self-interest and all that Enlightenment stuff that the Far Left hates. Being a filthy liberal, I think it’s a decent framework for this kind of discussion, if only in a spherical-cows-in-a-vacuum kind of way.

**As a side note, I think this is why zombie apocalypse stuff is SO POPULAR with a certain kind of conservative guy, especially when it comes with a side of racism. It’s the fantasy of being back in the State of Nature and getting to be a BADASS!!!!!1!! and not get your ass kicked by the Mob.

*** Of course, this ironically leads to higher rates of abuse.  

(Side note: I don’t personally understand the logic behind ‘rent is theft’- other than maybe ‘any transaction you can’t avoid in a capitalist economy is theft’, which, I disagree but I can see where you’re coming from. Personally, I’ve rented most of my life and the thing that I’m paying most of my money for is ‘having my utility bills covered’ and ‘having someone on-call to let my dumb ass inside or get the tree roots out of my toilet’. But hey, we don’t have to agree on everything.)

[dxmedstudent]

Hi!! I just read that you're a pediatric doctor?? I'm 16 and a premed, and I just wanted to ask what peds is really like just out of curiosity thankyou and sorry if i bothered you =)

Hello! Yes, I was. I’m heading back to adult medicine now, but I have spent about a year as a paediatric doctor :)The systems in the UK and US might be a bit different, so I’m not quite sure how much my experiences here will match that of my US colleagues. But kids are kids anywhere in the world, so I imagine much is the same. When you first start on paeds it feels a little terrifying. The idea of having responsibility for childrens’ health is scary, and the illnesses they get are quite different from those our adult patients get.  Kids are also a bit more fragile than adults, so everything goes south much faster. The good news is that they also bounce back much faster, so most kids are in and out of hospital in a few days. It’s an amazing feeling to see a child you treated running around the ward laughing and playing peekaboo with you, days after they looked so sick.  In terms of the medicine, it’s not necessarily harder, but everythings on a smaller scale. Getting bloods, siting lines etc is all a little more challenging. Plus referring to other specialities is more complex, because unlike grown-up medicine the specialist you need may be in another hospital altogether! Meaning lots of phoning, letters and paperwork.  Prescribing is also very different; all the doses are different from adult medicine, and you have to calculate just about everything you give children, which makes it all much more long-winded. And as soon as you send home lots of kids, a whole new bunch come in to see you, so you get to meet lots of people in a short space of time. However there will be faces that you see again and again; your patients with genetic diseases, or those with complex problems or cancer. You get to know kids and their families really well, and it’s a privilege to be a part of making them better, or keeping their quality of life as best as you can. I really like how we can support patients and families with disabilities and complex needs; I think paeds is a lot better than most of adult medicine at this. When I first started, I was terrified of children dying, but that’s actually very rare. Sometimes children die (or come in already dead/in cardiac arrest), but that’s usually because they are very seriously sick, or have been sick for a long time and can’t get better. Paeds is a speciality where people work exceptionally hard to make sure this doesn’t happen, even to the point of being a little paranoid (paeds doctors and nurses are the cuddliest but also the most anal people you will meet), and even more so than adult medicine, you’ll find yourself thinking anout your decisions a lot. This is part of medicine, and it becomes a bit easier as you go along. As long as you are cautious, you can’t really go wrong. Ask for help early, and you will always have done everything that you can. But really, when you look at the patients we are dealing with, the vast majority of our kiddies aren’t that sick, and recover quickly, so please don’t think paeds is depressing or all about dying. There’s also one other negative thing I have to mention: sometimes people hurt kids. And it’s your job to spot it. So, whilst you never go into a case thinking ‘every parent or carer is abusive’, you have to have your eyes open for anything at all that is suspicious or doesn’t match medical facts. Most of the time, your team will just examine the details and it will be clear there’s nothing wrong going on. But sometimes there is, and you can stop it from happening any more. So there always has to be the voice at the back of your mind saying ‘hey, this doesn’t sound right’. You should absolutely be friendly with parents, and not assume the worst or act prejudiced against a family, but absolutely report anything that worries you to your seniors. It’s also busy; I’m not going to lie. The wards are always busy, as soon as you discharge a shedload of children lots come in (I’ve had weekend on-calls where the consultant discharged literally half the ward; abour 15 kids’ worth of paperwork to do ASAP... still filled up by the next day!). Kids get sick all times of night and day, and there’s nothing like being in an A&E/emergency room full of screaming toddlers at 4am, all of whom are waiting to see you. And their parents are not always fun people to be around when they’ve had sleepless nights! So you’re probably a little mroe likely to deal with stressy people (and screaming kids) in paeds than in other specialities. I’d say it requires better communication skills than most specialities, but I think these skills can be gained if you have the heart for the job. Most of medicine needs heart; and depending on your personality different specialities will appeal to you. But I enjoy having conversations (even difficult ones), so paeds (like GP and geriatrics) appealed to me. If you think you’ll love paeds, you’re probably right. And when you do your med school rotations, you’ll have the chance to see for yourself if it feels like ‘you’. Sometimes what we think we want changes, and that’s OK too. So, it’s natural to feel a little overwhelmed at first when you are in paediatrics. But paeds is a speciality that is very well-supported; your seniors know that everything is new to you. I genuinely felt well-supported and well-taught by the other doctors and nurses on paediatrics; so much so that when my training ended, I stayed on in the speciality that I had never before considered doing! It’s genuinely lovely to work in, and I know I’ll miss it now that I’m heading over to the grown-up side again. I would totally consider going back (If it wasn’t for the fact I really want to try geriatrics again; working with the elderly is also very rewarding but at a much more relaxed pace!). Good luck in your future career and let me know if you have any more questions.

[meereschristophers]

Capslocked and Stuckied

“Is this thing stuck?”

“Looks like it.” Bucky seemed more bored than anything.

“Well, I’d like to know for sure and do something about it if we are really stuck here”, was Steve’s reply. Sensible as ever.

“Maybe it’s just a slow elevator. You’ve gotten used to the one in Tony’s tower but some elevators are older than you are!”

Steve looked sceptical and annoyed now. “You’re exaggerating!”, he accused Bucky.

Bucky just shrugged and sighed, then stood up straighter. Finally he said, “I think you’re right, this thing is stuck. There should be a button somewhere…?”

At this point, the light went out. Just like that, no last feeble flicker, no, it just went out very unceremoniously.

Of course they had flashlights, so that wasn’t much of a problem.

Steve found the emergency button first and pressed it. There was a speaker next to it that crackled feebly. No voice came out of it to ask what the emergency was, however. “Hello? Excuse me, I think we are stuck in elevator 4?!” Still no reply. Steve tried several times, then gave up on the speaker. He tried the manual door handle instead. Of course, the door opened only to reveal a solid wall. No door in sight and the space between the elevator and the wall was too narrow to even think of squeezing through.

“We could get out of this easily”, remarked Bucky.

“We’re not in a hurry and these things are expensive. I’d rather not do unnecessary damage. It’s very likely that this is just a temporary power outage and we’ll be out of here in a couple of minutes.”

“More likely hours!”, complained Bucky.

“…or hours”, admitted Steve but he didn’t seem fazed by the prospect.

Bucky put on his darkest, grumpiest face. He knew they’d been in worse situations than waiting in a stuck elevator, but maybe that was his problem. He hated feeling stuck and he hated not having anything to do. His brain was not a safe place to spend too much time in.

Steve wasn’t worried in the slightest. He didn’t mind waiting, it was peaceful and they really were in no hurry. For a change. He even smiled at the thought that after all the elevator-related adventures he’d had, simply being stuck in one was so refreshingly normal.

“Why do you even care if it’s expensive? Lets just cut a hole in the roof and climb out!”

“It’s not really about the money, Bucky. Look, if we destroy this elevator, even if we’d have no trouble paying for it, it would still take several days at least, probably weeks, until it was repaired. Think of all the people who need it! And just imagine, we cut a hole in it and at that exact moment the light flickers on and we continue our journey! That would be embarrasing. I don’t think power outages last all that long, normally.”

Bucky grumbled. He didn’t like that Steve was so reasonable. What’s the fun in being Captain America if you can’t even smash through an elevator when it’s stuck?

Steve looked at Bucky sideways and chuckled.

“What?!”

“Nothing, it’s just kind of cute how impatient you are! You’d think after being frozen for so long--”

“That’s just it!”, shouted Bucky, turning around and facing Steve, “That is exactly the problem! How can you be so calm! Your plane crashed and you were crushed by tonnes of icy water and frozen for decades and it doesn’t bother you at all? I don’t believe you!”

Steve was taken aback and didn’t know what to say. They just stared at each other for a while, illuminated by their flashlights and closely surrounded by metal walls.

Suddenly, another voice broke the silence, shouting: “Hello! Is there someone in there?”

Bucky turned to face the door, then looked up and answered: “Yes!”

“Sorry about that!”, replied the voice (probably the janitor, Steve and Bucky both guessed), “There is a power outage, nothing to worry about. You are not in any kind of danger. Do not panic! How many are you? Any children, disabled persons or elderly?”

“Just two of us, and we’ll be fine”, shouted Steve back.

“Uhm, technically I’m disabled”, grumbled Bucky but not loud enough for the presumed janitor to hear.

“The power will probably be back on in an hour or so. If it takes much longer, I’ll call the fire department to get you out. Do not attempt to break out by yourselves! That would be highly dangerous and insurance won’t pay for cases of unintended use.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and balled his fists, but he bit his lip.

“OK”, shouted the janitor, “I’ll have to check on the other elevators.”

But Steve interrupted her: “Do you have a phone number we can call just in case?”

“Well, you can always call 911 if you get reception in there”, the janitor called back, “but I’ll give you my number, too, hang on”

After the janitor had left, Bucky rounded on Steve. “See? They have other elevators! She just said so! It won’t matter if this one is out of order for a couple of days!”

Steve gave him a stern look, but then put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Hey, I know this is stressful for you, but she also said it won’t be long. I think it’s best if we just wait, hm?” He looked at Bucky expectantly, but he just scowled.

“At least you’re not alone this time”, Steve tried to comfort him.

They both sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Bucky leaned his head on Steves shoulder and mumbled “Thanks.”

Steve sighed. “I’m sorry. I should have realised that it’s not just an inconvenience for you, or a matter of being impatient.”

Bucky snorted. “You don’t say!”

Steve wrapped his arm closer around his friend and said: “I think it’s easier for me. You asked how I can be so calm, but it’s not an act, Bucky, in fact I was thinking how normal this whole situation is. Not so long ago a full team of trained professionals tried to arrest me in an elevator -- I had to jump from the eighths floor! Compared to that this is a picnic. Literally.”

“Do you have food?”, Bucky asked and seemed genuinely interested in a snack.

“What? That’s not--”, Steve turned his head to look at Bucky, “That’s not what my story was about. I was just saying that this isn’t dangerous or anything, so we should just make the best of it.”

“Exactly! Eating calms me down. Plus it has been a while since breakfast!”

“Uh, if you say so.” Steve rummaged in his backpack for a bit and, sure enough, handed Bucky an energy bar while taking one for himself, too.

Bucky started eating immediately. “It’s good to know that I can always count on you for being well equipped!”

Steve chuckled. “You could have packed snacks yourself, if it’s that important to you!”

“I didn’t know we’d be stuck!”, Bucky defended himself.

After they’d both finished their energy bars, Steve asked: “Feeling better?”

“A bit.” Bucky still didn’t look very happy. But then, he rarely did that anymore at all.

Steve frowned. “C’mere”, he put his arm around Bucky again and pulled him closer. Bucky leaned against him and Steve had the strangest feeling. As though the roles had been reversed. How often had Bucky comforted him after he’d been in a fight with bullies twice his size? After he’d lost his mother? Steve tried not to think about it. He wasn’t that small boy anymore and Bucky wasn’t the carefree youth he’d once been, either.