#‘nathaniel’ || the captive

[the-owl-and-the-sun]

“… You can’t have this fan. I found it first. Flock off.” … “Are you here, to worship your new god? Kneel.”

[ Boreal Owl and The Captive are now accepting asks! ] || [ The askblog is open, yippee! ]

—————

- Rules are all the same across my blogs 🫶

- Roleplay asks are perfectly fine! I even encourage you, it would be extremely funny 🤭

- I’m not taking this blog very seriously! It was a uh *checks watch* 1 am yami moment for my friends Clown and Beth 🥺

- Boreal Owl and The Captive are based in an AU titled the Butterfly God AU ^^ in connection with my wife’s own nightwatch blog and my own Resilience of Bamboo blog 😊 got permission from my wife to create this silly heheh

- Will mostly be a mix of text and art doodles 🫶 it’s mostly headcanons filled with canon components (insert tracy happy here)

- oughhh sobs

—————

Basic Muse Information || “Boreal Owl”

Name: “Ithaqua”

AU identity progression: Boreal Owl (we are here) -> ??? -> Morningstar

Age: 16 (Boreal Owl) -> 26 (Morningstar)

Pronouns: He/They

—————

Basic Muse Information || “The Captive”

Name: Nathaniel “The Sun God”

AU identity progression: “The Sun God” (we are here) -> The Captive

Age: 16 (“The Sun God”) -> 26 (The Captive)

Pronouns: He/Him

—————

Uhhh here have a silly 😊

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Character, book, and author names under the cut

Daniela- We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

Nathaniel Thorn- Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Laurent- Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat

Gwen (Princess Gwendoline)- Gwen and Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher

[ithaquasbbg]

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

When the reader hits their head really hard and cannot remember their lover (I cannot interfere, it’s a canon event)

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

You forgot, but I remember - MS! Ithaqua x reader

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Pairing : Morningstar! Ithaqua x reader, Captive! Nathaniel x reader

TWs : Cheating, Toxic relationships (like.. hella toxic), brief mentions of execution and death though there’s no description of anything.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

….

Helel sits on your bedside while you’re asleep, holding your hand. You had hit your head earlier in the week, hard enough to render you unconscious for days. This was the first time he’s been able to see you since then, the first time he’s been able to hold you. He runs his hands through your hair, the touch somehow managing to wake you up. “(Name)! You’re awake!” He smiles and goes to hug you as tight as he can, but is stopped when you push him off merely seconds later. “Who are you? Why am I here?!” You ask, panic in your voice as you stare at the man in front of you with wide eyes

“(Name), it’s me-“ You cut him off quickly, your tone almost angry in a way. “How do you know my name?!” His expression turns into one of worth as he calls for somebody to help him. “Please, tell me this is a joke, (name)..” he whispers, trying to keep the tears from falling in front of you. He’s never wanted to be the type to cry In front of you, ever. “I don’t know why I’m here.” You say, expression hardening. You can see his heart crumble then and there, making you feel bad for him, sure, but you genuinely had no recollection of who the young man in front of you was.

He eventually gives in and leaves the room, allowing you to be alone like you had asked. Helel walks into his office not far away, locking the door as the tears immediately start flowing. The love of his life, his queen, couldn’t even remember him! She had been the one there for him when Nebuchadnezzar was overthrown, the one who helped him get through with the rebellion, despite his guilt. “(Name)..” he mumbles, staring at the ring on his finger, the one most precious to him. Helel was a man who loved decorating himself however he could, but this ornament meant more to him than almost any of the others, it was yours.

On the other hand, you sit in the bedroom with a confused look on your face as one of the maids explains your situation to you. You were married to the stranger, it seems, and had been together with him for years. You can’t help but wonder that if it was really true, shouldn’t you remember at least something? Once you’re alone you get up and walk around the room, looking for anything to prove that you could possibly have married that man.. there’s photographs upon photographs of the two of you together. Even some taken on what looks to be your wedding day.

That’s when you look at your hand, seeing the most gorgeous ring you could think of. Clearly, he had loved you quite a lot.. and by the looks of it he was king. It takes months to even get to know Helel again, but you’re unsure if you could ever truly love him. But you keep pretending, trying not to break him. Countless ‘I love you’s that you say to him, when in reality you no longer could see why you ever loved him in the first place.

….

A part of Helel knows you’re different now, that you may no longer love him. But he keeps pushing that part of his mind as far back as possible. He keeps convincing himself you remember everything he does, no matter how far of a stretch it could be.

The first time the two of you met, the way you looked smiling and caring for the young children of the kingdom. He slowly went up to you, even though he’d been told not to speak with a peasant by his father and twin. He was shyer back then, barely managing a “hello” , especially when he got a look at your face. It was almost laughable how he had fallen so hard so fast for a stranger. Within a second, you took his hand and brought him to say hello to the young children, several kids who adored him, despite only having heard stories of the royal family.

He used to sneak out to see you at night, escaping through the gardens and running into town, coming to your small cottage. Even if he got caught once or twice, which he did, he’d always come back to see you whenever he got the opportunity. Helel would often come with gifts. From flower bouquets he would hand pick in the gardens, to more expensive necklaces he’d personally buy. You’d always run up to the young prince and hug him tight, thanking him for coming, spending the rest of the night giggling and talking together as if nothing else mattered.

When Helel was exiled, you were the first to find out through connections with the palace guards, packing your stuff and quickly going to be with him. The way he would cry in your arms the first few weeks, wanting nothing more than to be in his own home, with the people that he knew. No matter the fact that he’d been betrayed by his brother, the separation was hard and you helped him through it..

But then when Helel staged a rebellion and took the crown, he changed quite a bit, and he knew it. He knew he was much less lovable now than he had been before, much more unstable and labeled as a madman by some of the neighboring kingdoms rulers. The old you didn’t care, the old you helped him through the first years of his rule and your marriage. But to somebody who was just getting to know him now, as you were due to your situation… He was insane, a cocky man with almost no remorse. If you had begun to think of him as if he was a monster, he wouldn’t blame you. 

….

So as you sit in the throne room with him, completely uninterested and frankly disgusted by your husbands behavior, you hear words of his twin brother. The king was attractive physically, yes, but you were slowly growing to hate his behavior, the way he’d look down upon seemingly everyone as if they were nothing. As much as you even despise the fact you’re thinking about it, perhaps if you could find a way to love his brother… you’d be able to blur the two together in a way.. as long as Helel didn’t find out, there shouldn’t be a problem.

That night, you sneak out of bed and find your way to the tower Nebuchadnezzar was supposedly being kept in. “Who’s there?!-“ he shouts, pulling against his chains in fear of being hurt again. You slowly approach, finding a key to the cage he was being held in and stepping inside. “I’m not here to hurt you, I want to talk.” You whisper, kneeling down in front of the former king. As you had heard, he was no longer the glorious king his portraits had shown him to be, instead, he was nothing more than a fearful person, a captive of his own twin brother.

He was bruised and beaten, but his eyes had this warm look to them Helel’s did not have. He looked so pretty, even after years of imprisonment. You knew it was wrong, to play with the two men the way you were.. but it was the only way you could possibly find happiness in your current situation. The way Nebuchadnezzar shivered at the feeling of your touch, looking up at you with those big eyes of his. He was always grateful for what you brought him, too beat down after years of torture to take this sliver of kindness for granted. Part of him relished in the fact that he was with his brothers wife even while held captive, knowing that even in his current situation he could take whatever he wanted from Helel.

And poor, unknowing Helel showering you with praise every day, unaware that at night you would go see his brother, hands cupping his cheeks, running through his hair. Though he had begun to notice the way you’d leave at night, coming back hours later. After he noticed this, he follows one night, stumbling across something he wish he could have remained unaware of. “I love you, my dear..” you whisper, leaning in and kissing his twin brother as you hand him a small amulet. It was one Helel had searched the entire kingdom for just for you, a gift he spent weeks picking. To see you simply giving it away was what sent him over the edge.

He walks over to the two of you, his eyes filled with tears and a look of none other than pure betrayal. “So all this time, (name), you’ve been going behind my back and making out with my brother?!” He grabs you by the collar of your shirt, his brother watching in the background. “Helel, I-“ he regrets doing this, and it hurts him to do so, but he smacks you across the face, watching as your eyes widen in terror. “You’ve been having an affair with the person who hurt me, (name)! Throwing away everything I’ve ever given you like it was nothing..” He’s sobbing while he says this, though the anger in his face is unmistakable. “You’re nothing more than a harlot, and I’ll make sure to have the both of you executed.”

He yells to his guards and has you brought down to the dungeon where you wait for days until you and Nebuchadnezzar are taken to the town square, your execution being watched by hundreds of the kingdoms residents. “You..” he grips your chin, nails digging deep into your skin as he glares at you, nothing more than hatred visible in his expression. “I hope you rot in hell for the pain you’ve caused me.” These are the last words he speaks to you before your life is cut short. When he lays alone that night in bed, he holds your pillow close to his chest, doing everything he can to convince himself you were still in his arms, despite knowing that he would live with the memories of you for the rest of his life. Knowing that he had killed the person he loved the most, who didn’t even love him the way he loved them.

-end-

I think this is a longer fic than the rest I’ve written lol, also more emotionally charged.. I love nebu.

[hot-coffemilk]

first time drawing morning star

[nobodysdaydreams]

I wonder when Nathaniel Benedict started calling himself Ledroptha Curtain. My theory is he did so between the ages of 13-18. Thinking to himself “this will show Nicky. I’ll change my name to something clever. Ledroptha Curtain, perfect who doesn’t love a good pun”. And now as an 40-something adult he has to go by LD Curtain because he doesn’t want to change his name again (people would wonder about that), but he also doesn’t want people knowing his full name is a cringey pun he clearly made up for himself as an angsty theater kid.

[whats-in-a-sentence]

After two fencers were attacked on Ravensworth, Lowe's men tied a rope round the neck of a captive Wonnarua man and forced him up a tree.

He was directed to crawl to the extremity of a bough of the Tree, when he had done this, he was commanded to tie the rope tight to the branch; the other end being fast round his neck, this he did, and sat crouched and trembling on the tree:— One then fired at him, wounded him; another fired and wounded him again; a volley was then discharged at him which knocked him off and left him suspended by the neck on the tree!

"Killing for Country: A Family History" - David Marr

[jamiesshelves]

Parts of TSC I can't stop thinking about (after my first read)

Jean having a few minutes before Riko got to him and using it to text Renee a warning. NOT asking her to help him. But warning her. Probably to protect Kevin and Neil more than himself.

Jean viewing himself as a captive with Wymack and Abby

Jean calling Neil Nathaniel until that sudden switch (just like when Neil thought of himself as Nathaniel)

Jean being the same age as Neil, so one of the youngest characters we know

Jean worshipping Thea and her calling him Paris

Jean throwing out Andrew's candy

Jean roasting Aaron for being unimportant even with a murder investigation going on

Renee giving Jean forehead kisses

"Right person, wrong time"

Jean taking Renee's picture and it being the only picture he has

The way the world perceives Riko as a martyr after his death

The way the world brushes aside that he almost killed Neil on live TV

"The only one close enough was andrew"

Jean reaching towards the TV as if he could save Neil and wanting him and Andrew to run

Jeremy being brunette through the events of TFC

The Trojans being okay with their plan for the foxes game because they knew they'd lose to the ravens eventually anyway

Jeremy living at home and having an estranged family situation

Jeremy having a butler he loves and trusts more than his family

BarkBark

Jean's promise to Kevin

Jean calling Kevin a "beautiful boy"

Both Jean and Jeremy trusting Kevin whole heartedly

Kevin giving truths about the nest to Jeremy

Kevin admitting to sticking to Andrew like glue because he didn't know how to be by himself after the nest

The coaches concern as they realize the way raven coaches treated Jean

The rumors about Jean and that Neil never thought of them

Jean being confirmed a bi king and simping over everyone except canon beautiful Neil

Jean probably not simping after Neil because he's the partner that could've been, aka a brother/safe space he never got

Jean not realizing why top surgery scars, and his abuse scars, would be seen differently

Jean not understanding why Trojans can pick their own clothes, food, majors, etc

Andrew letting Neil go to the FBI in California without him because he trusts his runaway to come back

Neil's immediate response to hearing about Greyson is hiring a hitman

Neil sassing the FBI

"I guess Drake wasn't a biter"

Neil telling Jean he can lock his door if it makes him feel safe but he doesn't have to worry anymore

Cat wanting to teach Jean to ride a motorcycle

"Kevin has earned the right to be"

Jean being afraid to ever teach anyone French again

Jeremy hiding from the police

Elodie

"That's putting it mildly." WHAT THE FUCK STUART.

Jean's list.

Jean still texting Renee

The reason the Trojans stay so positive

"I'm not safe with you anymore"

The parallels between Jean and Neil

Jean thinking he never got anything he didn't deserve

Jean only having a carry on bag like Neil

Wymack giving Jean money and his note

The Trojans giving Jean forehead kisses

Jeremy being into Jean but wanting to allow Jean to be able to heal first

Honestly more but this is enough for now lol

[ltwilliammowett]

David Debias was a Black Sailor who served on USS Constitution as a ship’s boy in the early 1800’s.

Debias became the youngest Sailor to ever serve on the Constitution after his father sent him aboard USS Constitution at just eight years old. He was assigned to Master’s Mate Nathaniel G. Leighton as a servant was given the rank of ship’s boy. Ship’s Boys were the lowest ranking position aboard USS Constitution and typically served as servants to officers and carried powder to supply the guns during battle. On February 20, 1815, USS Constitution engaged in battle with HMS Cyane and HMS Levant and eventually defeated both. While sailing as part of the HMS Levant’s prized crew Debias and Master’s Mate Leighton were captured by a British squadron and imprisoned in Barbados until May 1815.

After his release Debias returned to Boston and re-enlisted into the Navy in 1821 and served on USS Constitution once more in the Mediterranean until 1824 when he joined the merchant service. In 1838, he was picked up as a fugitive from slavery and was held captive in Mississippi. Though Debias’ fate is unknown, a local lawyer named Thomas Falconer believed Debias was a free man and pleaded with the Secretary of the Navy for his naval records to prove his Naval service to our Country

- Text by USS Constitution Museum

[the-moon-lullaby]

Headcanons : The HSL Boys + Priya Drunk

N/A: So this random but the other day I was talking about MCL with a friend and as summer approaches and plans are being planned (chaotic ones mainly) we started to wonder how the LIs would be like when drunk. So I thought I'd share my opinion on the matter.

* little disclaimer : always drink alcohol with moderation and if you don't drink, don't let others influence you (f*ck them if they make fun of you about that, they're the problem) and if you do drink though, always drink glasses of water between glasses of alcohol (you'll thank yourself the next day)

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Emotional drunk

Not every time though, it doesn’t happen that often but when it does ,just give him a compliment or tell him something sad and you just launched the machine

This will be likely followed by this « I love you guys » speech (he’s probably really drunk at this point so his discourse doesn’t make sense but it the least of his concerns right now)

Will never admit it or accept to talk about it the next day (might even pretend that he doesn’t remember it as if it was enough to make everyone forget about it lol)

But when he’s not emotional, he’s actually extrovert ???

Like he talks with everyone and have good laugh with them (my boy has become a social butterfly for the night)

Would accept a cigarette if someone offers him one so PLS STOP HIM (he has to protect his voice come on)

Totally up for karaoke but don’t you dare try to make him sing these commercial songs he always complains about because he certainly won’t and he’ll rant about how they suck

Bonus point : I can picture him ✨slaying✨ a Lady Gaga karaoke. Like he knows the lyrics and even some bit of the choreo (probably won’t do it though, I guess that’s where he draws the line). That would depend on who is around tho (for example if Nathaniel is around, haha no. He’ll never let this guy catch him singing Bad Romance, no matter how drunk)

If he keeps drinking, he might throw up and he’ll try to be slick about it (but everyone knows that when he left in such a hurry, it was because the end was near for him)

He has the worst hangovers. It takes him 3 whole business days to get back on his feet (he has to get over the physical consequences but also the embarrassment. Because, ew, talking about feelings and all when he’s drunk cringes him so bad lol)

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 :

Philosophically confused drunk ? 

Literally, anything could become matter to philosophical debates at this point and out of nowhere he’ll just start pondering existence and the meaning of life. 

And he has a lot to say (which is surprising according to the fact that Lysander isn’t really talkative in  general)

Can get anyone captivated because he speaks from the heart and he kinda make a point (he make people rethink their whole life so that can be a bit of a buzzkill as much as it can be fascinating. It’s 50/50)

Honestly, I struggle to imagine Lysander drunk because I don’t think there’s a lot of circumstances where he would be likely to drink a lot. Especially that I don’t think he’s really fond of strong alcohol (like vodka, rum or else) but more of a wine kinda guy. 

(Which is why that if he does get drunk, he’ll get a dreadful hangover the next day because there’s nothing like a wine hangover y’all)

I feel like if he’s not pondering existence, he’ll be just listening at people (you know the people that overshare when drunk, spilling the tea without judgment or just telling their life story, I kinda love these people)

He would be a really good listener and would conclude the conversation by a inspiring quote he just made up (you can’t silence the poet in him)

If you leave him on his own for too long tho, he might get an existential crisis (like « Where is my life leading me ??? What should life be like ?? What’s after life ??? How do you know you’re living and not surviving ???) Yeah, he asks himself a lot of questions and that can be overwhelming (relatable)

If people pressuring to sing, he’ll just be annoyed so don’t. He don’t really like to sing when drunk because he knows that this won’t be his best performance 

Bonus point : I believe he’s the kind of person that can get sleepy from alcohol (add to that the fact that he spends his days working hard) so he’s likely to be one of the first that want to leave the party lol

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 :

If you’re going to an event or a party where Armin might get drunk, please bring a leash with you

Not but for real, he’s the runner type of drunk 

Totally that friend that’ll randomly disappear in the middle of the party to do some side quests without warning ANYONE

So everyone’s start wondering : WHERE DID HE GO AGAIN ? 

And he’ll come back as if nothing happened with some random items he found on the way (bonus : or some random guy he talked with and now they’re buddies ???)

I said he was a runner but it’s because he likes to be chased. He just finds it fun and it becomes sort of a escaping mission in his mind 

(That’s funny because usually you can’t get him to do anything that requires physical investment lol)

If you guys finally catch him and make him stay in sight he’ll just be super friendly 

He’s kind of get "happy drunk" and everything’s seems so funny 

Alcohol really does cloud his judgment so he’ll get some stupid ideas that sounds to him like genius-like behaviours (it’s not, pls stay on your chair dear)

I feel like if he finds a partner in crime, it’s over, he’s out of control (and that might very well be Nathaniel but I’ll go back to it later)

Would dance (pretty badly)

He really can’t sit still for more than two minutes so it’s better if you keep an eye on him at all time (he’s basically the result of if a 9 year-old was drunk which can be as entertaining as it can get exhausting)

Would ‘strategically throw up’ (you know when some people will make themselves throw up when they feel like they’re going to be sick so that they can keep going)

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

He doesn’t get drunk often (it is actually pretty rare as he said in UL) and he says that it’s because he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol

However, that’s only one part of the truth, the other part is that he’s out of control when drunk 

Literally, his brain seem to stop cooperating when he reaches a certain point

Will have no filter about what he says (says anything that comes to his mind and that can be problematic)

Could easily get into fights because of that but also because his patience is very thin when drunk. Not that he’ll be looking for a fight but he won’t take any shit (literally the  "fuck around and find out" meme)

Would talk to people then looses patience and leave in the middle of the conversation (then the person in front of him is just like « ??? »)

He’s a flirt x10. He’s a flirt sober but when he’s drunk it’s even worst because as I said, he has no filter anymore

He just seem horny and he's not even subtle about it (if he's here with his partner, he'll want to go have a “talk” at some point and no, drink some water that's for the best)

(Which I believe that back in UL, may have caused some « problematic black-out get with », another reason why he doesn’t like to drink - self awareness king)

Now, I said that Nathaniel could very much end up being Armin’s partner in crime 

I meant it. It’s just that Nathaniel when drunk just wants to have fun and has no patience, Armin on the other end, can’t stay still more than 2 minutes and just wants to mess around so that kinda of a match

Chaotic duo (the chaos is real, if you thought drunk Armin was hard to manage, you don’t want to imagine drunk Nathaniel by his side)

I can picture them doing shots together even though they hate the taste of it (but just for fun you know)

However, you have to admit that despite the chaos they cause (in the limits of the law ofc. Well, most likely hum hum), they are very entertaining 

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗 :

Clingy drunk. Whether he’s clingy with his girlfriend or his friends, he just can’t help it

It’s not like he’s going to do the emotional speeches and all

It’s more like he’ll randomly hug them. If he’s here with his girl, he always has an arm around her or he’s holding her hand (cute)

If there’s pets where you guys are, you lost him

He’s going to spend the night playing with them (and that way he can avoid talking with the people he doesn’t know, clever)

He would also be the one that want to go on a walk in the middle of the night because why not ? It’s mostly because he wants to get some fresh air (I have the feeling that Kentin wouldn’t feel at his most comfortable in the middle of a party)

He rely on his more extroverted friends to introduce him to other people (because he’d rather don’t to do it on his own)

I think that just like Lysander, Kentin wouldn't really be the type of person to get drunk because he can hardly handle alcohol. Maybe a beer here and there but that’s it. So it got to be a very special occasion for him to get in that state

Would get sleepy from alcohol too

𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚢𝚊 :

She’s the life of the party 

The kind of person that won’t let anyone stay sat for to long and then proceed to drag them to the dance floor 

Also a master at making cocktails and she’ll invent a new recipe by the end of the night with the alcoholic beverages’ leftovers 

(The drink could seem nasty but it’s really good ??? Like how ???)

Would get political if someone brings up the topic

Because you know my girl don’t joke about that 

Really, that could lead to an endless debate about societal issues 

But no matter how drunk she is, she still got that charisma and that eloquence (which I wonder how but I just can’t imagine Priya drunk slurring her words ???) so give it a few moments and she has an audience 

I mean, she could also get an audience while doing karaoke or dancing ‘cause she really has this energy that captivates people 

Great at comforting people who are ‘sad drunk’ or at handling those who are getting out of hand (we can think of the chaotic duo mentioned above)

She knows how to hold her liquor quite well so it’s very rare that she ends up being a mess (queen)

She sounds like so much fun to hang out with honestly 

Priya <3 (we won’t talk about her arc in LL, I am still in denial and I intend to keep gaslighting myself into believing that it never happened)

Hope you guys enjoyed it !

[galaxywhump]

Home Again

Trope: Not Used to Freedom

Fandom: Original Work

[SV-240 masterlist]

[blue for completed]

Timeline: post-captivity, set after Ghosts of the Past.

contents: recovery from slavery whump and forced relationship, hospital setting, childhood trauma, mention of therapy.

~~~

“Jonna Schulte visited me yesterday.”

Nathaniel is looking out the window, so Wren can’t see his expression, but he does notice the tension in his shoulders.

“I know.” Nathaniel’s voice is forced, stiff. “I talked to her.”

“Yeah, I heard you talking.” The emphasis Wren puts on the last word goes unnoticed. “So, what’s the deal with… all that? She didn’t tell me much.”

“We were married, it didn’t work out, so she left.”

Nathaniel spits out his words like they’re poison, as is the topic at large, but Wren doesn’t want to back out. It’s too important, and too confusing.

“She said she didn’t want to abandon me.”

Nathaniel inhales sharply and crosses his arms. “I don’t know what she did or didn’t want. You can ask her.” He finally faces Wren, his gaze like the dark sky before a thunderstorm. “‘I don’t want to talk about this.”

His tone is harsh, and it makes Wren freeze. There it is, the tension he’s felt for so long, his instincts urging him to run, and he feels so small and insignificant, but not in the same way that SV-240 made him feel. He doesn’t feel like a human being confronted with the unimaginable loneliness of being trapped on a distant planet. He feels like a helpless kid.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, looking away, his heartbeat deafening, his hands shaking.

Nathaniel seems surprised by Wren’s reaction, but he doesn’t add anything. The sense of immediate danger slowly fades, though the implications linger in Wren’s mind.

Nothing has changed. The events of the last two years did not overwrite his earlier memories and instincts, not that he really expected otherwise. What Daniel had put him through made him discover mechanisms within his psyche that he wasn’t aware of before, and which he figures must have come from his childhood. Now he gets to see their root cause with new eyes, and he doesn’t know if he’s ready for it.

Between living alone, struggling with the way his body and mind work now, and going back to living with his father, he’s not sure if there exists an option that isn’t terrible.

“Do you need help packing?”

He nearly jumps in place and shakes his head.

“No, no, I’ll do it myself. It’s not a lot.”

His hands are shaking as he puts what little he’d taken out back in the bag and zips it up.

As much as he wanted to leave the hospital before, now he wishes he could stay.

***

When they exit, there are people waiting for them, a small crowd gathered near the entrance, the sight of which causes Wren to stop abruptly, his eyes going wide. And then there’s noise, voices, and they don’t sound angry, but they’re too overwhelming for Wren to register anything. He stepped out of the hospital and fell into a void, and he’s frozen in place, gripping the strap of his bag so hard his knuckles turn white.

Someone grabs his arm and pulls, and his immediate reaction is to try and free himself, but when he manages to tear his gaze away from the crowd, he sees it’s just his father, so he forces himself to move, to put one foot in front of the other, to get the hell out, away from those people, everything is too much, too crowded, and it isn’t until he’s seated in the car that he can breathe again.

He exhales and leans forward until he rests his forehead against the back of the front seat, but he has to straighten up when the car starts. He blinks and his gaze flits towards the window, but he has to look away when he sees the crowd again.

“What happened?”

Wren winces. He can feel Nathaniel’s eyes boring into him, but he doesn’t want to look. It’s not like he knows what happened, anyway; for all he knows, he left the hospital building and regained consciousness in the car.

“Sorry,” he says, and Nathaniel doesn’t push, he never does anymore, he only wants uncomfortable conversations to end, and that’s exactly what happens. The drive home passes in silence, and Wren spends its entirety swallowing back tears.

***

Unlike him, the house hasn’t changed at all. It’s still neat, but unremarkable, average in just about every way; Nathaniel never flaunted his position by going for unnecessary luxury. Still gripping the strap of the bag tightly, Wren enters, and the inside is the same too, because it has always been comfortable, and that was enough. There are some new things, things he doesn’t recognize, but they’re minor, they don’t matter.

The door closes behind him, and something about the sound both sobers him up and sends him back to a day he’d rather not reminisce about. He can’t breathe, he can feel tears coming again, and this time he can’t hold them back, so he rushes upstairs, to his old room, which is also the same, the only difference being the boxes strewn about the floor. His things, brought back to the place he had escaped years ago.

He’s home.

Tears overflow and he furiously wipes them away. All he wants to do is sit on his bed and wallow in emotions that he can’t even identify, but he hears his father’s footsteps on the stairs, and he knows he has to appear at least a bit more put-together. He sits down on the bed anyway, unzips his bag, and starts unpacking it.

“Hey,” Nathaniel says after a symbolic knock on the doorframe. “Need any help?”

At first Wren wants to refuse again. These are his things, he can handle unpacking, and having his father here will probably only lead to more tension, more awkwardness, but…

He looks at the boxes. The bag he can handle, but with how he’s feeling he’s not sure the same can be said about the boxes. Besides, if he’s left on his own, he might just burst into tears and accomplish nothing, and his room being a mess will only drag him further into misery.

“Actually, yeah,” he says, looking up from the bag with a slightly forced smile. “I don’t know what I’m going to put where yet, but if you could help with the boxes, that would be great. Just… clothes on one pile, other stuff on a different pile, something like that.”

“Sounds doable,” Nathaniel laughs, and Wren does too, and they get to work, mostly in silence, sometimes making small talk or commenting on their finds.

“You still have this T-shirt?”

“Yeah, it’s living its best life as pajamas now.”

“Mhm. And this one?”

“Pajamas. Or, uh, for cleaning days.”

“This one too?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a hole in it.”

“Exactly. It’s perfect.”

They laugh, Wren through tears, because of course he’s crying, because he hasn’t seen these things in such a long time, he thought he’d never see them again. There are tears in his breaking voice too, which go unaddressed; it feels absurd, this elephant in the room, his silent breakdown and its cause, but he convinces himself that it’s better this way, that they can both pretend that everything is fine, even when nothing is.

Their conversations are normal, ignoring the context that is anything but. Catching up, how much has the city changed? It must have changed, it’s been… a while. Food. Food is a normal subject. They can get takeout, whatever Wren wants. Not from that one place, though. It closed down a year or so ago. 

It’s strange to think that normal things were happening while he was away. A silly thought, of course he’d never think that everything was put on hold when he was kidnapped, but somehow it still hits him hard. The restaurant closed down, and he was busy being a captive. He doesn’t even know what was going on with his father when he was presumed dead, but he doesn’t want to start that conversation yet; he can ask about it later. Right now he focuses on dividing his clothes into categories with some semblance of sense before putting them in the closet.

The last thing he reaches for is his running T-shirt, and he pauses, holding it up, rubbing the slippery fabric between his fingers.

“I think I’m gonna go for a run,” he says, his idea verbalized as soon as it appears in his mind. Nathaniel, busy collecting the now empty boxes, looks at him with a frown.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

Naturally, Wren starts doubting himself, and maybe it is a stupid idea, but it’s an exciting one, and he doesn’t want to just give it up.

“Yeah, I… think I need it. I miss running.”

“Alright,” Nathaniel says, still seemingly unconvinced. “Now?”

“No.” Wren shakes his head. “I’ll wait until the evening. So it’s less warm.” And, hopefully, so there’s fewer people. He doesn’t say that part out loud. Being concerned about the weather is normal. Freaking out after being one of the only two people on an entire planet is not. He wants to be normal, and if he can’t, he’ll at least pretend.

The food they get from a place Wren knows well tastes different from what he remembers, but maybe he just doesn’t remember it well, it’s been so long, after all. They talk for a bit about nothing in particular, and when the silence threatens to turn awkward, Wren suggests watching something light, maybe a game show, and they do just that, joking and trying to guess the answers before the contestants do. It’s a familiar scenario in a way that fills Wren with unease as time goes on; he’s relieved when evening comes and he can excuse himself to get ready.

Putting up his hair to keep it out of the way and warming up before leaving the house is a routine he hasn’t forgotten, but it’s not as nostalgic and uplifting as it should be, because he used to do this on SV-240 too. Back then it made him feel better, but the price he pays now is that it’s become tainted, linked to memories of running laps around Daniel’s house, of working out alongside him. That, however, is reduced to a triviality when Wren leaves the house and faces the world outside.

Running laps within the safe area around the house, guarded from the dangers of the planet, was one thing; being faced with the startling realization that he can go wherever he wants is something else entirely. He’s no longer confined, be it to the house, the spaceship, or the hospital. He’ll have to go back home eventually, but he’s the one who gets to decide when that will be.

He’s free.

He sways on his feet a little, and has to take a deep breath of Earthly air. For just a moment he considers turning back, going back inside, but above all he feels… excited. Energized. He wants to get the most out of his newfound freedom, so he braces himself, chooses a direction, and starts running, maybe a bit faster than he usually would, and a wave of euphoria the likes of which he hasn’t felt in a long time spreads throughout his body, through his every nerve. His shoes hit the pavement at a steady pace, and his breathing falls into a familiar rhythm. That’s all that matters.

When he comes back home, he’ll have no choice but to face his thoughts. His first therapy session is coming up - how should he approach it? How much can he tell his therapist? He’ll have to bring up something, think about the last two years with Daniel, recall some of the physical torture, because he can’t imagine himself talking about anything other than that, even though it’s the other memories that give him nightmares each and every night. Is he going to have one tonight, in his old room? He doesn’t want his father to hear it. His father… The time they spent together was nice, and Wren knows it’s nothing new, nor was it a one-off. There have always been days like this, filled with casual, lighthearted conversations, joking and laughter, and yet, when he was away, he could only remember the other days, raised voices, disappointment and contempt. He got a reminder of that earlier, Nathaniel’s reaction to his question about Jonna, Jonna, his mother, who didn’t want to abandon him, who’s one message or call away…

He never wants to stop running.

~~~

taglist: @faewhump @inky-whump @whole-and-apart-and-between @whatwasmyprevioususername @procrastinatingsab @funky-little-glitter-bomb @goneuntil @redstainedsocks @luminouswhump @lonesome--hunter @as-a-matter-of-whump @renkocchi @whump-only @muddy-swamp-bitch @girlwithacoolcat @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @sophierose002 @whump-headspace @to-whump-or-not-to-whump @kixngiggles @ohwhumpydays @whumpsical @wibbly-wobbly-whump @stab-the-son-of-a @his-unspoken-words @pumpkin-spice-whump @onlyhappywhenitpains @suspicious-whumping-egg @morning-star-whump @burtlederp @there-will-always-be-blood @springwhump

[deaths-presence]

Two of a Kind || Dazai x Reader Part 3: The Vanishing Act

Story Summary: The search for your brother has led you into conflict between the Armed Detective Agency of Yokohama and the Guild. Fitzgerald keeps you involuntarily, that is until you finally find your chance of escape. Will you find strength within the ADA, or will you only become more astray? Word Count: 1.5k Characters Featured: Nathaniel Hawthorne, Margaret Mitchell Warnings: afab!reader, slowburn, plot heavy to build up romance, usual Port Mafia violence, lmk if I happened to miss anything please! Tag List: @decaf-nosebleed @isa-ghost A/N: If you want to be added to the tag list that has started, feel free to let me know! Don't worry guys, we're finally getting plot-adjacent and building up to what we've been waiting for. :) Gotta love slow burns.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Despite the Zelda as your new floating prison, you gawked up at the humongous vessel that you boarded with Lady Margaret and Hawthorne. The three of you had taken the rest of the evening to settle upon the ship, only paying half-attention to them discussing ideas for what they would do to properly make the Zelda the Guild’s headquarters in Yokohama; at least until they could procure a building. You could imagine Fitzgerald buying out one for the right price.

If Hawthorne and Lady Margaret noticed how quiet you were at the dinner table later that night, they said nothing about it. Your mind kept wandering back to the small battlefield you had managed to jump into. Your body had never moved so fast to protect yourself, but your thoughts were eating at you. Did you protect the right people? Should you have turned around and fought back against the Guild to protect those local to Yokohama? Where exactly did her loyalties lie?

Instead of getting that boy killed, I could’ve given my life to save him instead, you thought. You weren’t hungry enough to finish dinner, and you sighed in relief as Hawthorne allowed you to be excused and escort yourself out to the room you would be staying in. It was no wonder Fitzgerald assigned him and Lady Margaret to look after you. Despite having the opportunity to escape, you knew you would not get far without sustaining critical injuries. Hawthorne’s ability to manipulate his blood was crafty and hard to avoid, and Lady Margaret’s weathering ability with the wind at her disposal was something you didn’t want to be on the other end of.

You entered the room that was provided to you, momentarily forgetting that you were being held against your will on this ship at the sight of the environment in front of you. Nightfall had come and welcomed the glittering stars and constellations in the sky. Your eyes were captivated by the moon, its light reflecting from it dancing across the small, rolling waves of the water. The Tokyo Bay leading to the Pacific outside your windows was torturous. Something so vast and free laughed at you, trapped with no one to come to your rescue.

You decided to succumb to the bed that called out to you after undressing and putting on a nightgown, pulling your hair down from the ponytail you had put it in when leaving the Moby Dick. Your eyes fought to stay open as you shifted into the mattress that hugged you, and you drew up the sheets and blankets to stay warm and comfortable. It was the last thing you remembered until you woke up the next morning.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The preparations for replenishing the Zelda the next day were quickly turned upside down. Your hands stopped running over the purple and black polyester of the gothic-style dress you wore. The length of the dress shortened into ruffles that came down to your knees and seeing them made you miss having Lucy visit you at least once a day. Your hair was down to save you the headache from having it pulled up, instead substituting the style by having your hair in waves.

Your attention was cast to Hawthorne and Lady Margaret chattering back and forth. Your eyes went to the singular paper that was in his hands, and you couldn’t help but notice that it was written in something deemed childish. You started to approach them before your footsteps on the wooden deck of the ship drew their gazes to you instead of each other.

“I need you to prepare for our departure once we have everything on the ship,” Hawthorne said with controlled calmness. Between him and Lady Margaret, you could taste the newfound tension in the air.

“Departure? So soon?” You tilted your head inquisitively.

“I’m afraid the Port Mafia has threatened this ship and our lives.” Hawthorne gestured to the letter by raising the paper up.

“In crayon?” you asked in disbelief, gently taking the letter to observe it. It was short more than it was sweet, and the content inside was exactly what Hawthorne had just described to you. Your fingers ran over the waxy letters.

“Like I said, it’s nothing more than a silly prank on the Guild!” Margaret huffed in exasperation.

You were inclined to believe her, but you also knew Hawthorne always preferred to remain cautious. If this threat was truly authentic, then it would only be a matter of time before it became reality. Hawthorne was the type to protect his people. Whether that happened to include you or not, you were not willing to pry into it. If nothing else, you knew Lady Margaret would be guarded.

“Mr. Hawthorne, sir. There’s something you should see.”

You felt a cold chill run down your spine and spread through the rest of your body. Did one of the labor men happen to find something to back up the evidence of the letter coming from the Port Mafia? You didn’t learn the answer to that question with Hawthorne’s next order directed at you.

“Please return to your room at once. I will let you know if it is safe to return to the deck.” His eyes told you all you needed to know. You understood if anything were to happen to you, it would be a target on Hawthorne’s head. Fitzgerald would make sure of that after assigning your welfare to him and Lady Margaret. Instead of arguing, you nodded and made your way back to your room. If nothing else, you would prepare for departure after everything was loaded onto the Zelda.

It felt like minutes passed before you heard a rumble above deck, your brows furrowing in concern. You heard your heartbeat starting to pound with adrenaline, and you weren’t willing to wait and see if more explosions were nearby. You left everything behind as you started out of the room at a hurried pace. Several large explosions went off above deck in quick succession, and the force of them made you lose your balance and fall onto the passageway floor. You could smell the fresh gunpowder, and your lungs contracted at the polluted air. You coughed as you forced yourself up on your feet, your idleness turning into panic as you sprinted to the closest way out.

The smoke worsened as you exited onto one of the balconies, your eyes stinging as your body racked with a coughing fit. The distance down to the dock was too grand to simply jump down, and you didn’t have a supernatural ability in your repertoire that strengthened your legs to break your fall. Though, as you thought about it, there was one way you could try.

You focused on bringing out the Change that you wanted, picturing the wings extending from your back and spreading out. Your eyesight shifted, and it forced you to blink rapidly to adjust while the colors making up the dock began to change and sharpen. Your body felt smaller and blonde locks of hair flowed in the small breeze out of the corner of your eye. You would have to take that in mind with your next course of action.

You took a couple of steps backwards before running to the rail of the balcony, kicking your feet off the deck to jump over it. Your wings glided you through the air and delivered you swiftly down to the port. Your landing was sloppy, but you managed to survive. To save your energy, you quickly shapeshifted back to your natural appearance, thankful for the unclouded air entering your lungs.

Your body felt like it was still lightweight enough to be carried by the air, and you nearly blocked out the shouting of your name. Your head slowly turned to the voice, and you snapped out of your stupor when you realized it was Lady Margaret. She looked uncharacteristically disheveled, and you noted the large patch of deep red on her pastel ballgown. Blood. She was injured. The Port Mafia threat was real.

You flinched when Margaret touched you. As you looked into her piercing blue eyes, you saw that they still held determination despite the outcome. She looked different and bare without her sunhat and parasol. She must have caught you staring with the way she shook you by the shoulders.

“Run, you little fool! What are you still doing here?!” she demanded.

“Lady Margaret,” you whispered as you found your voice, “I—”

You trembled at how tight her hold was on your hands now. They weren’t threatening. When was the last time you were touched without it bringing pain? Margaret had decided it was the best way to keep your attention focused on her instead of the chaos that surrounded you.

“Run. If they get a hold of you, it’ll be worse than what Francis has ever done. Run, and only use my appearance if you’re desperate!”

Your eyes widened considerably at the realization. That’s also why she had decided to touch you. If you had to hide yourself, she was offering her appearance as protection. You didn’t realize your eyes were tearful until her hard push sent you backwards. She didn’t have to order you to run again. With Margaret turning her back to help defend Hawthorne, you took to the unfamiliar streets and began running for your life.

[the-owl-and-the-sun]

Well I am sorry for not having English as my first language you little shit head But since you gonna insult my English may as well speak in my own language.

يا ذكي! تراك مو ملك العالم على سان تتصرف كذا، في حوالي ٨ مليون انسان في الارض و انا بش واحد منهم. اذا ما العالم للحين بيستمر بدونك مثل قبل مولدك، كذا خلك الدلع والفخر…

حيوان!!!!

‘ You act like this, in about 8 million people on earth and I'm not one of them. If the world still continues without you like before you were born, so be spoiled and proud… ‘

“The same could be said about you. I mean, think about it… if you died today, would anything change? You’re nobody important, you have no meaning or value. You’re not a leader, you’re not a guardian.”

Sneering down at you, he scoffed.

“If anything, you’re weighing everyone else down. Dragging them into the depths of the abyss. You’re dead weight. A waste of space. Would you like to know a secret? Before I became the Sun God, this entire place was frozen in ice. Thick, heavy ice and cold cold snow. My twin brother died from how cold it was. The cold froze his lungs. He couldn’t breathe. He… DIED. Because someone else overstepped and overreached. And then… I became a god. I was able to give the sun to my people and drive away that ice buffoon. Because I was the only person who was capable of harnessing the sun. If I was never born, everyone here would be a frozen corpse. You couldn’t save them. You can’t even save yourself. You have no value. You’re useless.”

…

“Call me spoiled, proud, mean and cruel. I don’t care. I know my value. I know my worth. And I know I’m nowhere near as ignorant and crass as you, ‘Klai’. You call me an animal? Have you SEEN yourself in a mirror lately? If I’m an animal, then you’re a beast, ugh. Don’t talk to me, you’re worse than the cheese eating surrender monkeys.”

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Quality Control Time

okay everyone: realistically despite having read some since last tournament I can't have read all of these books as I am one person running a blog for funnies

so I'm posting a list after I've gone through the submissions and I'm counting on you guys to tell me if any of these submissions don't count (or if someone typoed something in the submission I didn't catch)

that said here are your (tentative) competitors:

Rune Saint-John- The Tarot Sequence by KD Edwards

Quinn Saint Nicholas- The Tarot Sequence by KD Edwards

Layne Dawncreek- The Hourglass Throne by KD Edwards

Silas Bell- The Spirit Bares it's Teeth by Andrew Joseph White 

Daphne Luckenbill- The Spirit Bares it's Teeth  by Andrew Joseph White 

Benjamin/Benji Woodside- Hell Followed with us by Andrew Joseph White 

Sideways Pike- The Spacegracers by HA Clarke

Tayend of Tremmelin- Magician’s Guild series (The Novice, The High Lord) by Trudi Canavan

Gideon Nav- The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

Ianthe Tridenarius, Ianthe the First- The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

Harrowhark Nonagesimus- The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

Dekka- Gone series by Michael Grant

Therem Harth rem ir Estraven- The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

Seregil í Korit Solun Meringil Bôkthersa- Luck in the shadows/the nightrunner series by Lynn Fleweling

Victor Vale- Vicious by VE Schwab

Alucard Emery- Shades of Magic series by VE Schwab

Rhy Maresh- Shades of Magic series by VE Schwab

Elliot Schafer- In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

Sebastian Black- The Sacred Sins of Father Black by St John Starling

Father Victor Ardelian- What Manner of Man by St John Starling

Wenren È- Devil Venerable Also Wants To Know by Cyan Wings

Zhu Chongba- She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

Ouyang- She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

Giovanni- Giovanni's room by James Baldwin

David- Giovanni's room by James Baldwin

Danny Tozer- Dreadnought by April Daniels

Magnus Bane- The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Alec Lightwood- The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Thomas Lightwood- The Last Hours by Cassandra Clare

Alastair Carstairs- The Last Hours by Cassandra Clare

Alex Fierro-Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series by Rick Riordan

Magnus Chase- Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series by Rick Riordan

Nico di Angelo- The Sun and the Star by Rick Riordan

Frances Janvier- Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Nick Nelson- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

Charlie Spring- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

Tori Spring- Solitaire by Alice Oseman

Gwen (Princess Gwendoline)- Gwen and Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher

Jack Alston/Lord Hawthorn- The Last Binding Trilogy by Freya Marske

Maud Blyth- The Last Binding Trilogy by Freya Marske

Robin Blyth- A Marvelous Light by Freya Marske

Silariathas “Silas”- Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Nathaniel Thorn- Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson

Ballister Blackheart- Nimona by N.D. Stevenson

Ambrosius Goldenloin- Nimona by N.D. Stevenson 

Neil Josten- All for the game by Nora Sakavic

Andrew Minyard- All for the game by Nora Sakavic

Nicky Hemick- All for the game by Nora Sakavic

Xie Lian- Heaven Official's Blessing / Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx 

San Lang/ Hua Cheng- Heaven Official's Blessing / Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx 

Luo Binghe- The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx

Shen Qingqiu- The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx

Lan Wangji/ Lan Zhan/ Han Guang Jun- Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx

Wei WuXian/ Wei Ying/ Yiling Patriarch- Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu / mxtx

Kelly Bennett- Heartsong by TJ Klune

Linus Baker- The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Arthur Parnassus- The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Laurent- Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat

Damianos (Damen)- Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat

Will Kempen- Dark Rise Series by C.S. Pacat

Sarcean- Dark Rise Series by C.S. Pacat

James St. Clair- Dark Rise Series by C.S. Pacat

Ronan Lynch- The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

Adam Parrish- The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

Loki- Loki- Where Mischief Lies by Mackenzi Lee

Theo Bell- Where Mischief Lies by Mackenzi Lee

Daniela- We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

Carmen- We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

Seonid Traighan Sedai- Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan

Siuan Sanche Sedai- Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan

Shallan Davar- The Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson

Jasnah Kholin- The Stormlight Archive series by Brandon Sanderson 

Jesper Fahey- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Wylan van Eck- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Nina Zenik- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Evelyn Hugo- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Moiraine Damodred Sedai- The Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan 

Yan Wushi- 千秋 /Thousand Autumns/Qian Qu by Meng Xi Shi

Shen Qiao- 千秋/Qian Qiu/Thousand Autumn by Meng Xi Shi

Alex Claremont-Diaz- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

Biyu "Jane" Su- One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

August Landry- One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

Jolene Whitaker- Stars Still Fall by Jules Kelley

Jude St. Francis- A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Francis Abernathy- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Ishita Dey- Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

Carmilla Karnstein- Carmilla by J Sheridan le Fanu

Murderbot- The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells

Shuos Jedao- Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee

Achilles- Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller 

Patroclus- Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller 

Yin Hanjiang- Devil Venerable Also Wants To Know by Cyan Wings

Daja Kisubo- The Circle of Magic series, The Circle Opens series, The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce

Simon Torquill- October Daye Series by Seanan McGuire

Kade Bronson- Wayward Children Series by Seanan McGuire

Jack Wolcott- Wayward Children Series by Seanan McGuire

Sundew- Wings of Fire by Tui T Sutherland

Zanja Na'Tarwein- The Elemental Logic Series by Laurie J. Marks

Karis G'deon- The Elemental Logic series by Laurie J. Marks

Thaniel Steepleton- The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley

Raff Barden- One Night in Hartswood by Emma Denny

Penn de Foucart- One Night in Hartswood by Emma Denny

Alec Campion- Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Richard St Vier- Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Nico Ferrer De Varona- The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

Parisa Kamali- The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

Sam Black Crow- American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Salim- American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Hunter- Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Islington- Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Tsukiko- The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

Zachary Ezra Rawlins- The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Dorian- The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Katrina- The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Katherine- The Privilege of the Sword by Ellen Kushner

Geraldine- Christabel by Samuel Coleridge 

Priya- The Jasmine Throne/The Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri

Malini- The Jasmine Throne/The Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri

Henry Gaunt- In Memoriam by Alice Winn

Sidney Ellwood - In Memoriam by Alice Winn

Benji Ovich- Beartown by Frederik Backman

Renly Baratheon- A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) by George R.R. Martin

Loras Tyrell- A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) by George R.R. Martin

Oberyn Martell- A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) by George R.R. Martin

Ellaria Sand- A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF) by George R.R. Martin

Ead Duryan- The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Thara Celehar- The Witness for the Dead by Katherine Addison

Iäna Pel-Thenhior- The Witness for the Dead by Katherine Addison

Vanyel Ashkevron- The Last Herald-Mage Series (Magic's Pawn, Magic's Price, Magic's Promise) by Mercedes Lackey

Galen- Paladin's Hope by T. Kingfisher 

Doctor Piper- Paladin's Hope by T. Kingfisher 

Eliot Waugh- The Magicians by Lev Grossman

Simon Spier- Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Bram Greenfield- Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Leah Burke- Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Abby Suso- Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Jay Gatsby- Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie Mclemore

Harold Hutchins- Captain Underpants by Dav Pilkey

Eric "Bitty" Bittle- Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu 

Jack Zimmermann- Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu 

Ollie O'Meara- Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu

Pacer Wicks- Check, Please! By Ngozi Ukazu

Maurice Hall- Maurice by E.M. Forster 

Alec Scudder- Maurice by E.M. Forster 

Clive Durham- Maurice by E.M. Forster 

Cal Stephanides- Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Therese Belivet- Carol or The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith 

Carol Aird- Carol or The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith 

Baz Pitch- Carry On Series by Rainbow Rowell

Tennalhin (Tennal) Halkana- Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell

Evander (Andy) Mills- Lavendar House by Lev Ac Rosen

Kaiiestron (Kai) l, Prince of the Fourth House of the Underearth- Witch King by Martha Wells

Max Owen- Magical Boy by The Kao

Remy Pendergast- Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco

Ben De Backer- I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver

Nathan Allan- I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver

Genevieve Lefoux- The Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger

Maddie Morrow- Havenfall by Sara Holland

Catherine St. Day- The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Lucy Muchelney- The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Fetter- The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera

Leonie Jackman- Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson

Red- This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone 

Blue- This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone 

Rose- Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Li Shimin- Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

Cliopher Mdang- The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard

Lily Hu- Last Night At The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

Patrick O’Hara- The Guncle by Steven Rowley

Ambrose Cusk- The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer

Kodiak Celius- The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer

[yangzhouman]

oh my god i was approaching the end of BARTIMAEUS: THE AMULET OF SAMARKAND and thinking "no there's only a few pages left surely it can't be closed up satisfactorily now??" but i should have believed. that was an incredibly suitable ending*

my closing thoughts:

i like very much that nathaniel started to understand life beyond his currently parasitic one, and how enviable and meaningful it was, and then regressed when he got access back into the luxurious life of magicians. that was good! he's twelve years old! to come straight after a bunch of magicians got eaten for being captivated by shiny chandeliers was so perfect. nathaniel don't you see the foreshadowing??? don't you???????

i like that bartimaeus keeps walking back from his empathy for nathaniel. for all that he claims to not understand humans, he really does! but it does him no good so he keeps discarding it

nathaniel being marched straight into a cage at the end of the story is so perfect. bartimaeus seeing it, recognising it, deigning to help nathaniel and having it thrown in his face is SO perfect

i like that the story ended with bartimaeus essentially saying "that was a wild week for me i'm sure i'll hear from him again but i am going to bed". when huge societal drama happens and the outsider perspective is totally unconcerned >>>>

bartimaeus' endless footnotes did grow on me. and i loved the imagery in the last showdown between simon lovelace and our dynamic duo. in fact the back third of the book was just so vivid and thematically dense that i want to read it another six times to enjoy it all again

all in all. wow!

*my favourite kind of ending for an entry in a series is one that doesn't demand you read the next one straight away. this sounds strange, but i like it when the book respects that you gotta chew it over! you read something; let that sit with you for a while. that said, i will be getting THE GOLEM'S EYE as soon as my library has it back in stock

[fabseg-reader]

I have some Cerisette sketches. This time, happens in a fairy tale AU.

From left to right: Marinette (Knight), Cerise (Witch/Deviless/Demon Queen) and Adrien ("Princess"*)

*he's a boy

This is the "confrontation" scene.

The Knight Marinette is come to the castle for free the Princess Adrien but she must face Cerise the Witch Deviless and newly owner of the castle (the previous was the "Witch" Gabriel but he's dead (see at the bottom of the post)).

Princess Adrien is the witness/spectator of the battle (In VIP position).

Marinette is planifying her 131st raid/attempt (all the previouses had failed).

The strong fact: Cerise has never tried to eliminate Marinette unlike to the other knights who terribly failed their raids. She has just repelled her. It's because Marinette has managed to dodge all the traps in the castle.

This time, the Knight and the Witch Deviless make a Tie. The two opponents have their weapons (Marinette: Sword and Shield; Cerise: Magical Scepter) both destroyed.

In next moment, Cerise congratulates Marinette and declares Adrien is released from his captivity. The Princess Boy is surprised he can leave the castle (despite the fact Marinette haven't entered to the Adrien's tower room yet).

Cerise doesn't seem interested about continue to fight Marinette. The Deviless comes closer to the Knight and pins her to the wall with a flirtatous tone. First time, Marinette doesn't understand the Cerise's behavior.

Suddenly, Cerise offers a request to Marinette: To accept her wedding confession/to marry her.

During the battles moments in the past, the Deviless Cerise had developped a little crush on the Knight Marinette.

Bonus:

This is the first meeting between Marinette/Knight and Cerise/Witch Deviless.

Cerise hasn't just overthrown Gabriel the Witch (and Adrien's gaoler). She has killed him. When Marinette the Knight has finally entered to the throne room, she is confused and shortly horrified to see the recently murdered Gabriel's bloody corpse who is empaled on many objects. Cerise and Gabriel had previously a fight against each other and Cerise had won.

Marinette had worked her Knight's skills during her trainings. She became the champion of the Kingdom after winning the tournament. She prepared herself to defeat the Witch Gabriel and to rescue Adrien. And now, a new Witch (a Demon girl) she had never seen yet is standing up in front of her.

But Cerise turns her interest about the new "visitor". She sits down on the Gabriel's throne, poses like a Femme Fatale (Basic Instinct vibes) and invites Marinette to come closer to her with a finger gesture (the Deviless Cerise's hands are like Dragon claws and her fingers are claws).

Marinette/Knight: Who are you ? 🤨

Cerise/Witch Deviless: I am the Demon Queen Cerise. The witch Deviless. But you can name me Cerise. 😉😘

Concerning the Adrien's fate:

Marinette/Knight: What happens with the Princess Adrien ? Do you free him from the Witch ? 🤨

Cerise/Witch Deviless: I wouldn't say "free", more like, under new management. 😉😈

I let you find some ideas for how can be happened in the next moment.

I just taken the idea from the Gabriel Agreste episode (4.09). The illustrations of Marc and Nathaniel have been used as models for this sketches.

[richincolor]

We have a whopping FOURTEEN books on our radar for today! Check them out--you've got great odds you'll find something to add to your TBR list!

All This Twisted Glory (This Woven Kingdom #3) by Tahereh Mafi HarperCollins

As the long-lost heir to the Jinn throne, Alizeh has finally found her people—and she might’ve found her crown. Cyrus, the mercurial ruler of Tulan, has offered her his kingdom in a twisted exchange: one that would begin with their marriage and end with his murder. Cyrus’s dark reputation precedes him; all the world knows of his blood-soaked past. Killing him should be easy—and accepting his offer might be the only way to fulfill her destiny and save her people. But the more Alizeh learns of him, the more she questions whether the terrible stories about him are true. Ensnared by secrets, Cyrus has ached for Alizeh since she first appeared in his dreams many months ago. Now that he knows those visions were planted by the devil, he can hardly bear to look at her—much less endure her company. But despite their best efforts to despise each other, Alizeh and Cyrus are drawn together over and over with an all-consuming thirst that threatens to destroy them both. Meanwhile, Prince Kamran has arrived in Tulan, ready to exact revenge… Layered with exquisite tension and heart-stopping romance, All This Twisted Glory is the explosive third book in the captivating, bestselling This Woven Kingdom series.

ASAP by Axie Oh HarperTeen

Sori has worked her whole life to become a K-pop idol, until she realizes she doesn’t want a life forever in the spotlight. But that’s not actually up to Sori—she’s caught between her exacting mother’s entertainment company and her father’s presidential aspirations. And as the pressure to keep her flawless public image grows, the last person she should be thinking about is her ex-boyfriend. Nathaniel is off limits—she knows this. A member of one of the biggest K-pop bands in the world and forbidden from dating, he isn’t any more of an option now than he was two years ago. Still, she can’t forget that their whirlwind romance was the last time she remembers being really happy. Or that his family welcomed her into their home when she needed it most. . . . So when Nathaniel finds himself rocked by scandal, Sori offers him a hideaway with her. And back in close quarters, it’s hard to deny their old feelings. But when Sori gets an opportunity to break free from her parent’s expectations, she will have to decide: Is her future worth sacrificing for a second chance at love?

Bless the Blood: A Cancer Memoir by Walela Nehanda Kokila

A searing debut YA poetry and essay collection about a Black cancer patient who faces medical racism after being diagnosed with leukemia in their early twenties, for fans of Audre Lorde's The Cancer Journals and Laurie Halse Anderson's Shout . When Walela is diagnosed at twenty-three with advanced stage blood cancer, they're suddenly thrust into the unsympathetic world of tubes and pills, doctors who don’t use their correct pronouns, and hordes of "well-meaning" but patronizing people offering unsolicited advice as they navigate rocky personal relationships and share their story online. But this experience also deepens their relationship to their ancestors, providing added support from another realm. Walela's diagnosis becomes a catalyst for their self-realization. As they fill out forms in the insurance office in downtown Los Angeles or travel to therapy in wealthier neighborhoods, they begin to understand that cancer is where all forms of their oppression Disabled. Fat. Black. Queer. Nonbinary. In Bless the A Cancer Memoir, the author details a galvanizing account of their survival despite the U.S. medical system, and of the struggle to face death unafraid.

Bright Red Fruit by Safia Elhillo Make Me a World

An unflinching, honest novel in verse about a teenager's journey into the slam poetry scene and the dangerous new relationship that could threaten all her dreams. From the award-winning poet and author of HOME IS NOT A COUNTRY. Bad girl. No matter how hard Samira tries, she can’t shake her reputation. She’s never gotten the benefit of the doubt—not from her mother or the aunties who watch her like a hawk. Samira is determined to have a perfect summer filled with fun parties, exploring DC, and growing as a poet—until a scandalous rumor has her grounded and unable to leave her house. When Samira turns to a poetry forum for solace, she catches the eye of an older, charismatic poet named Horus. For the first time, Samira feels wanted. But soon she’s keeping a bigger secret than ever before—one that that could prove her reputation and jeopardize her place in her community. In this gripping coming-of-age novel from the critically acclaimed author Safia Elhillo, a young woman searches to find the balance between honoring her family, her artistry, and her authentic self.

Daniel, Deconstructed by James Ramos Inkyard Press

A nerdy high schooler learns to embrace his main-character energy in this witty and heart-healing ode to movie tropes, meet-cutes, and LGBTQ+ love. Photographer and film buff Daniel Sanchez learned a long time ago that the only way to get by in an allistic world is to mask his autism and follow the script. Which means he knows that boisterous, buff, and beautiful soccer superstars like his best friend, Mona Sinclair, shouldn’t be wasting time hanging out with introverts who prefer being behind the camera. So when Daniel meets a new classmate, Gabe Mendes, who is tall, mysterious, nonbinary, and—somehow—as cool as Mona, Daniel knows exactly how this is going to play out. Mona and Gabe will meet cute, win their nominations for Homecoming Court, and ride off into the sunset together. Daniel just needs to do a little behind-the-scenes directing. But matchmaking means stepping into the mystifying and illogical world of love, dating, and relationships, where nothing is as it seems and no one knows their lines. And when Daniel finds himself playing a starring role in this romance, he’ll question everything he thought he knew about himself and his place in the world.

The Girl, the Ring, & the Baseball Bat by Camille Gomera-Tavarez Levine Querido

Rosie: Capricorn. Does great in class. Wants nothing more than to get into the prestigious Innovation Technical Institute and kiss this awful school goodbye. Her talisman: a magical jacket from her mother’s past that gets people to do whatever she says. Caro: Leo. Rosie’s older sister. Always been closer to their estranged father – and always butted heads more with their strict mother. A trip to Dominican Republic for her father’s wedding leads her deep into family history that clears up any illusions about her parents she’s ever had. Her talisman: a baseball bat that fixes whatever it breaks. Zeke: Certified Triple Pisces. Up in cold-ass Jersey City living with his aunt after his grandmother dies and his father moves to London to take care of his mother. He crushes on EVERYone – he knows he’ll find happiness in love, and maybe a way out of this depression. His talisman: a manifestation stone that will make anyone fall in love with him. Rosie, Caro, and Zeke – and their talismans – find themselves intertwined in a magical, hilarious, and whip-smart Outsiders for the modern day, written by Camille Gomera-Tavarez, a 2022 Publishers Weekly Flying Start.

How the Boogeyman Became a Poet by Tony Keith Katherine Tegen Books

Poet, writer, and hip-hop educator Tony Keith Jr. makes his debut with a powerful YA memoir in verse, tracing his journey from being a closeted gay Black teen battling poverty, racism, and homophobia to becoming an openly gay first-generation college student who finds freedom in poetry. Perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo, George M. Johnson, and Jacqueline Woodson. Tony dreams about life after high school, where his poetic voice can find freedom on the stage and page. But the Boogeyman has been following Tony since he was six years old. First, the Boogeyman was after his Blackness, but Tony has learned It knows more than Tony wants to be the first in his family to attend college, but there’s no path to follow. He also has feelings for boys, desires that don’t align with the script he thinks is set for him and his girlfriend, Blu. Despite a supportive network of family and friends, Tony doesn’t breathe a word to anyone about his feelings. As he grapples with his sexuality and moves from high school to college, he struggles with loneliness while finding solace in gay chat rooms and writing poetry. But how do you find your poetic voice when you are hiding the most important parts of yourself? And how do you escape the Boogeyman when it's lurking inside you?

I Hope This Doesn't Find You by Ann Liang Scholastic Press

Sadie Wen is perfect on paper: school captain, valedictorian, and a "pleasure to have in class." It’s not easy, but she has a trick to keep her model-student smile plastered on her face at all times: she channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. She'd never send them of course -- she'd rather die than hurt anyone's feelings -- but it's a relief to let loose on her power-hungry English teacher or a freeloading classmate taking credit for Sadie's work. All her most vehemently worded emails are directed at her infuriating cocaptain, Julius Gong, whose arrogance and competitive streak have irked Sadie since they were kids. "You're attention starved and self-obsessed and unbearably vain . . . I really hope your comb breaks and you run out of whatever expensive hair products you've been using to make your hair appear deceptively soft..." Sadie doesn't have to hold back in her emails, because nobody will ever read them... that is, until they're accidentally sent out. Overnight, Sadie’s carefully crafted, conflict-free life is turned upside down. It's her worst nightmare -- now everyone at school knows what she really thinks of them, and they're not afraid to tell her what they really think of her either. But amidst the chaos, there's one person growing to appreciate the "real" Sadie -- Julius, the only boy she's sworn to hate...

Infinity Alchemist (Infinity Alchemist #1) by Kacen Callendar Tor Teen

For Ash Woods, practicing alchemy is a crime. Only an elite few are legally permitted to study the science of magic―so when Ash is rejected by the Lancaster Mage’s College, he takes a job as the school’s groundskeeper instead, forced to learn alchemy in secret. When he’s discovered by the condescending and brilliant apprentice Ramsay Thorne, Ash is sure he's about to be arrested―but instead of calling the reds, Ramsay surprises Ash by making him an offer: Ramsay will keep Ash's secret if he helps her find the legendary Book of Source, a sacred text that gives its reader extraordinary power. As Ash and Ramsay work together and their feelings for each other grow, Ash discovers their mission is more dangerous than he imagined, pitting them against influential and powerful alchemists―Ash’s estranged father included. Ash’s journey takes him through the cities and wilds across New Anglia, forcing him to discover his own definition of true power and how far he and other alchemists will go to seize it.

No Time Like Now by Naz Kutub Bloomsbury

It's been one year since Hazeem's father passed away unexpectedly, and one year since Hazeem got his special ability: He can grant any living thing extra time. Since then, he's been randomly granting people more years to live: his old friend Holly, his study buddy Yamany, his crush Jack. . . . The only problem is, none of them wanted to spend any of that time with Hazeem. Now, Hazeem spends most of his days with his grandmother. When she experiences a heart attack, Hazeem is quick to use his power to save her--until Time themself appears and tells Hazeem he has accrued a time debt, having given away more life than he has left to live and putting the entire timeline in serious danger of collapse. In order to save the timeline and himself, Hazeem must take back some of the life he has granted other people. Suddenly, Hazeem is on a journey through and against time, but as he confronts the events of the past, he must confront the mistakes he made along the way. Hazeem will come to realize that when it comes to time, quality is more important to quantity--but is it too late to reclaim the life he's given away so he can really start living? No Time Like Now is a timely twist on A Christmas Carol that takes readers on a thought-provoking adventure, asking what matters most in life.

Out of Body by Nia Davenport Balzer + Bray

A high-stakes, propulsive YA thriller with a body-swap twist thoughtfully exploring themes of friendship and identity, perfect for fans of Tiffany D. Jackson. Seventeen-year-old Megan Allen has been jumping from friend group to friend group in her high school, trying on identities like outfits. Nothing ever seems to fit—until she meets LC, the adventurous, charismatic girl who appears at her favorite coffee shop one day like magic. Finally, Megan feels like she’s becoming the person she’s meant to be: someone like LC. On the night of their friendiversary, what was supposed to be a bonding experience ends in a waking nightmare. Suddenly, Megan is no longer herself. Too late, she realizes that LC has secrets—dangerous ones. Betrayed by her best friend, thrust into another girl’s life, and targeted by LC’s enemies, she must claim what makes Megan Megan to get her life back . . . or die trying.

Pangu's Shadow by Karen Bao Carolrhoda Lab

There are no second chances in the Pangu Star System. Ver and Aryl, apprentices at the most prestigious biology lab among the system’s moons, know this better than anyone. They’ve left behind difficult pasts and pinned their hopes for the future on Cal, their brilliant but difficult boss. But one night while working late in the lab, they find Cal sprawled on the floor, dead. Murdered. And they immediately become the prime suspects. Their motives seem obvious. Ver, who left her home moon to study the life-threatening disease wracking her body, had a hopeless attachment to Cal that could’ve become twisted by jealousy. Aryl, on the other hand, clashed with workaholic Cal because she valued more in her life besides research. To clear their names, Ver and Aryl put aside their mutual suspicion and team up to investigate Cal’s death. As they search for the real murderer, they uncover secrets that have shaped all of Pangu’s moons… and must decide what kind of future they really want.

Relit: 16 Latinx Remixes of Classic Stories edited by Sandra Proudman Inkyard Press

These sixteen stories by award-winning and bestselling YA authors center a Latinx point of view in an empowering anthology that reimagines classics through fantasy, science fiction, and with a dash of magic, for fans of A PHOENIX FIRST MUST BURN and RECLAIM THE STARS In classic stories remixed, Latinx characters take center stage Pride and Prejudice is launched into outer space, Frankenstein is plunged into the depths of the ocean, and The Great Gatsby floats to an island off the coast of Costa Rica. A shape-shifter gives up her life to save the boy she loves from an evil bruja. La Ciguapa covets a little mermaid’s heart of gold. Two star-crossed teens fall in love while the planet burns around them. Whether characters fall in love, battle foes, or grow through grief, each story will empower readers to see themselves as the heroes of the stories that make our world.

You're Breaking my Heart by Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich Levine Querido

Harriet Adu knows that her brother's death is her fault. I mean, it's not actually her fault, but it still kinda is, isn't it? She would do anything to live in a world where she could take back what she said that morning. Then a strange girl shows up at Harriet's high school – a girl who loves the same weird books Harriet does, who doesn't vibe with anyone at school the same way Harriet does – and that different world suddenly seems possible. The girl speaks of a place underneath the subways of New York, where people like them can go and find a home. A place away from the world of high school, grief, cool people, and depression. A place where one may be able to bend the lines of reality and get a second chance at being a better person. Will Harriet open the door? With You're Breaking My Heart , award-winning author Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich offers a remarkable speculative novel that will hit home for anyone who yearns for that one chance to do things over.