#‘yes I’d beg or steal or borrow if i could hold you for one hour more’

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

The HH fandom has to stop using every Christian Borle song for Vox because I’m listening to a playlist and just got ASSAULTED with What Would I Do and now I’m gonna cry- like. I did not need this right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[wajb]

um. do you regret? lol. i’d do it again. hha. i’d like to believe that i’d do it again and again and again.

[adamfaglkner-stanheight]

i’m sorry for connecting a musical about the aids crisis to saw 2004 but also what more can i say how am i to face tomorrow after being screwed out of today tell me what’s in store yes i’d beg or steal or borrow if i could hold you for one hour more

[ellewritesathing]

Faking It - Epilogue

Summary: You’d done plenty of dumb things in your life, but the dumbest had to be picking Greendale’s latest bad-boy to pretend to be your boyfriend.

Masterlist Part 6 | Epilogue

Word-count: 2.3k+

A/N: okay so about a million years ago @corishirogane3​ sent me the cutest headcanon for this series and i had to make it canon. i’ve rewritten the ending so much that i’m not sure how i feel about it anymore but!! i wanted to post this sugary sweet ending after my finals so 💕💕 i hope you guys like it

Caliban hated birthdays. His mother would always try her hardest to make each year better than the last, with more outrageous parties in the hopes that he would forget he was a bastard whose father cared more about his reputation than his son. It never worked. 

Kinkle: Happy Bday man! You’re still an asshole but I’m glad we’re friends again

As if his childhood confusion wasn’t hard enough, Caliban’s teenage angst almost burned everything to the ground. He was angry at his family for abandoning him and his mother, at the people around him for being conceited and boring, and at California for being too goddamn sunny. 

Theo: happy birthday to my gay awakening 💕

Birthdays made Caliban infinitely aware of his precarious loneliness in the world. He’d stopped telling people when his birthday was long ago, but somehow they’d find out and ruin his plans to spend the day alone and screaming at the sky. Year after year, it was just the same hollow wishes from people who didn’t really care about him.

Rosalind ✨: happy birthday old man. i got you a haunted portrait so you don’t wrinkle 

But this year was different. Caliban still wasn’t sold on the perfect greeting card birthday, but he’d been less angry since moving back to Greendale. Dating you - real or not - meant he got a group of friends as part of the deal, and the lot of you had extorted his birthday to draw up his astral chart. Apparently, he was an Aries sun, Capricorn moon - whatever the fuck that meant.

Sabrina: Happy Birthday Cal 💞

Still, Caliban could move across the country and collect as many friends as he liked, but he wasn’t sure if he’d ever enjoy his birthday. 

With a sigh, Caliban threw off his covers and padded across to his closet. He pulled out his usual dark clothes and scrounged around for his leather jacket before realizing he’d loaned it to you. He smiled to himself and set to make himself presentable. 

This first hour of his birthday was always spent alone. It was one of the many birthday traditions he and Isobel shared, along with birthday pancakes, ditching the last half of school, and triple chocolate cake with Sour Patch Kids stuck to the icing. He was thankful for all the things his mother did for him, but that first dose of silence and solitude was crucial if he was going to deal with all the birthday bullshit that lay ahead.

Caliban’s phone dinged with yet another notification and he stopped in the middle of the hallway to dig his phone out of his pants pocket. Sure, Caliban talked a big game about hating birthdays but he still checked every text he got, hoping for ... something. 

Fitch: Happy non-birthday to the best not fake boyfriend I’ve ever had ❤️ I love you and I’ll see you soon

He always read the texts, but he almost never responded. He leaned against one of the door frames and started typing something in the way of a reply. The only problem was that Caliban was only gifted in the way of words when he was lying, and he never wanted to lie to you. Caliban sighed and locked his phone without sending anything. He’d figure out what to say once his stomach was full of pancakes.

Expecting to come downstairs to the low hum of Isobel singing along to music, the smells of cinnamon, sugar, and melted chocolate, and one very messy kitchen, Caliban was surprised when he reached the bottom stair and heard your voice. Everything else was as expected, but you stood out among all the chaos.

“Is this okay?” you asked quietly. 

Isobel stopped her humming for a second. “Oh, yeah! That’s perfect, sweetheart.”

The pancake batter sizzled in the pan and Caliban decided to brave the kitchen. It was still as messy as always, but there you stood, clad in a borrowed, sunflowered apron and brandishing a spatula. 

Since you and Isobel were whispering and watching the pancakes rise with your back turned to the entrance, Caliban walked over as quietly as he could and got a better look at the assortment of toppings on the counter. He'd just bitten into one of the strawberries when you turned to grab something off the counter. 

You jumped sky-high and Caliban laughed. “Jesus. How long have you been there?” you asked.

“Long enough.” Caliban tried to sound nonchalant, which was difficult to do with all his curiosity. His cool facade was also ruined by Isobel rushing around the island to hug him and kiss his cheeks. 

Isobel settled slightly after sitting Caliban down on one of the stools and promising to be right back with his present. 

With your new-found solitude, Caliban turned to with an amused smile. “When you said you’d see me soon, I didn’t think you meant quite so soon,” he said. He reached for another strawberry. 

You were happy to have caught him off-guard. “That’s kind of the point of a surprise.” You turned back to the stove to keep the pancake from burning but looked over your shoulder to add, “I mean, I can leave if it’s a problem?”

“You would deprive me of your company on my birthday?” 

You set a plate in front of Caliban that had a single, oddly shaped chocolate-chip pancake. “I'd never dream of it, Abercrombie.” You took a step back, pulled out a knife and fork, and set it in front of him. “Tell me how it tastes?” 

Caliban cut a piece and held his fork out to you. 

“No way. That’s your birthday pancake.” 

“You would really make me beg on my birthday?” 

“You can’t play that card the whole day-” 

“Yes, I can. Because it’s my-” 

“Don’t say it-”

The word was on the tip of his tongue, but Caliban didn’t get the chance to play his birthday card another time because Isobel rushed back into the room holding a wrapped present and grinning wildly. 

Isobel set the present down on the stool next to Caliban and tapped the top. “I know you don’t like opening them in front of anyone, but I couldn’t wait.” She tapped the gift again before reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Happy birthday, my love.” 

“Thanks, Mom,” Caliban said in a low voice. Isobel gave him the sad smile she always did on his birthday and he gave her the matching smile he always did. 

Your voice broke both of them out of their birthday stupor. “Well, I’ve got to get going or I’ll be late.” You untied the knot behind your back as you spoke before lifting the apron over your head. “I just wanted to stop by to steal a few legendary birthday pancakes and drop off the scavenger hunt stuff.” 

“I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” Caliban asked, sounding as saintly as he could. 

Isobel laughed. “Your brilliant girlfriend figured out how to give you a special birthday while letting you spend the whole day by yourself.” She wrapped an arm around Caliban’s shoulders and looked over at you. “There are clues and activities all over town and you can only come back once you’ve finished them all.” 

As intriguing as a day spent on his own seemed, Caliban couldn’t help but feel like there was a catch coming. “And what about my daily need for education?” 

“I thought you were a fan of more alternate education,” you teased. You leaned over and ate another bite of pancake. “Don’t tell me you’re going soft in your old age.” 

Caliban gave a short laugh. “I said no such thing.” 

You smiled. “Your mom promised to give you the first clue after your first pancake stack. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

Caliban nodded, suddenly unsure of how to respond. He was bad at receiving gifts at the best of times, and this gift was personal and bestowed upon him in front of his mother. It was an awkward set of circumstances. “Thank you,” he said softly as he hugged you goodbye. 

“Of course.” You kissed his cheek and disappeared out of the kitchen after waving goodbye to Isobel. 

Once you were gone and Caliban was left with the familiar sounds and smells of the morning of his birthday, he began to think that maybe his opinion on birthdays needed a bit of changing. 

--- 

Though he’d only participated in a few scavenger hunts, Caliban was competitive and he was relentless. He tore through clue after clue in the same ravenous fashion that a pack of wolves would their next meal, though he tried to savor it as best his hunger would allow. Every handwritten clue was kept, every souvenir pocketed, and every moment memorized. He didn’t want to waste the most thoughtful gift he’d ever been given just because he was an impatient bastard. 

But, as he stared at his suspiciously dark house, he wondered if he should have taken it a bit slower. The last clue had hinted at something waiting for him at the house, and his desire to finish the scavenger hunt waged war on his hatred of birthday parties. He was just about to put the car in reverse and dart into the street when your head popped around a curtain. You ducked inside at such a speed when your eyes met his that Caliban laughed at the mental image of you crashing into a lamp and trying to play it off. 

In the end, neither his desire nor hatred lured him into the depths of his birthday party. His bizarre inclination to do anything and everything you wanted drew him in.

So, Caliban showed up at his party. He wore a party hat, played nice with the other kids, and blew out the candles on his cake. All in all, it should have been the perfect end to his perfect day. But even with all your careful planning, there was no accounting for the bullshit hole in Caliban’s chest that always left him feeling empty. 

When the hole in his chest got too big, Caliban sneaked up the stairs, ducked into his room, and slipped out the window. He wasn’t running away - though the thought did cross his mind - but he just needed some fresh air. Harvey’s laughter mingled with that of his other friends and the laugh tracks of bad movies, drifting through the open window to the warmth of the April night. Still, there wasn’t enough fresh air in the world to fix him. 

“Hey!” 

Caliban twisted around to see you popping your head out of his bedroom window. You had a silly grin on your face and your hair was falling all over your face. The hole in Caliban’s chest got a little smaller. Your smile softened as you tilted your head to mirror his. 

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?” 

“Aren’t you worried about missing the party?” Caliban asked. 

You shrugged. “Roz and Theo ate all the good snacks so it’s pretty lame anyway.” Caliban laughed and you flashed him another smile. “Come on, Abercrombie, you really gonna make me climb on the roof to come get you?”

Caliban let out a long whistle and adjusted to get a better look at you. “I’d like to see you try, but careful - it’s slippery out here.” 

“Stop being an asshole and let’s get out of here before someone notices we’re gone.” 

Grinning, Caliban rolled over and held a hand out to you. There was no need to be so secretive, really, but sneaking down his mother’s carefully cultivated trellis was half the fun. Caliban squashed some hydrangeas on the way down, you tumbled into him after getting your foot stuck, and the two of you were left breathless for a moment before rushing to the car so no one would discover your attempted prison break.

Giddy as you turned onto the freeway, the two of you laughed with the windows down and music blaring. Caliban didn’t think his birthday could get any better than it already was, but that moment with you was his favorite part. Or at least, it was until you started complaining about wasting away and you pulled into a diner for something to eat - then he found a new favorite moment. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Like what?” 

“You know what.” You tilted your head. “Is this because of the fry thing? I’m telling you, if you just try it then you’ll like it.”

Caliban laughed and shook his head at ‘the fry thing,’ also known as your insistence to dip your fries in whatever milkshake you had on the day. “I’m not trying it.”

“You’re a coward.”

“You can’t say that to me. It’s my birthday.” 

“You hate birthdays.” 

“Still.” 

Rolling your eyes, you pushed the plate of fries over to him. “Try it once, okay? And you’ll see it’s the perfect combination of salty and sweet, hot and cold, yummy and delicious.” 

Caliban couldn’t help it. He’d been putting it off for almost a year now, and it just didn’t feel right to say no to you after everything you’d done for him today. Plus, you were cute when you got your way. So, he reached out and dipped a fry in the milkshake. 

Annoyingly, it was everything you’d said and more. Despite the sugary, fried high he was bound to be on in a few minutes, Caliban knew the best part of this whole endeavor would be to see your sickeningly smug face when he admitted defeat. 

You’d turned him into a cheesy cliche. He was disgustingly romantic, he carried your books between classes, and had your coffee order memorized. Because you were the sweet to his salty, the brave to his reckless, the Fitch to his Abercrombie. 

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tagged: @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e​  @miss--moose  @marrypuffsstuff​  @harryscarolinaa​  @igorsbby​  @foji2000​​  @hxlalokidottir​  @artaxerxesthegreat​​  @thxmagic​  @strawberriesandknives​​  @xealia​​  @hotmessindisguise​  @acciomaximoff​  @reheated-coffee​​  @shelby-x​​  @perseny-blog​​  @millie-753​​  @luneerius​​  @shizzybarnaclee​​  @lettherebelovex​​  @throughparisallthroughrome​  @ietss​  @thebookwormlife​  @mechanicalanimalz​  @mariamermaid​  @nqbmf​  @caliban-is-my-girl  @shephard17895​  @andie-kathleen​  @clockworks-world-to-fandoms​  @luquincy  @marina468​  @olivia-west-allen  @drrramaaaqweeen​  @roxytheimmortal​  @blondeeee-e  @piensa-bonito

[absynthe--minded]

more Blessed Hands is coming I promise, it’s just been a hellish end of year

as a thank you for sticking with me, enjoy a sneak preview (cw: foreplay)

“How do I look?”

“A bit like one of the early sages at Cuiviénen,” Findekáno said. “But I think you’ll be able to manage without seeming too scandalous.”

“It’s a pity I don’t have a right hand,” Russandol mused, lifting his arm and striking a dramatic pose. “I could pass for one of the statues in the Vanwamari at home.”

“Aiya Maitimo, the great philosopher!” Findekáno jested, his smile wide enough to nearly split his face open. “Come on, then. We’d best find your chair.”

“Must I take it?” his husband asked.

He frowned. “Do you need it?”

“Perhaps, but I’d rather try for it on my own.”

“What if you grow fatigued?”

“I doubt I will. We certainly slept for long enough.”

“But - Russandol, you’re already unsteady now.”

“And you cannot save me a second time, from the unspeakable terror of falling upon my much-lauded face?” The smile on his lips faded quickly; for a moment he looked impossibly exhausted. “I - I’d like to walk with you, Finno. I know it might be unwise, but I cannot help it. I want my hand in yours.”

“Well, if we walk side by side, I doubt it will be my hand you’re holding to,” Findekáno answered, taking a place beside the taller nér. “Here. Drape your arm over me. I’m tall enough to be your crutch.”

“And a finer crutch couldn’t be asked for, or found anywhere on either side of the Sea,” Russandol said, smiling. “Come on, then. Let’s see what we can manage.”

After a few minutes of fumbling, they were side by side and intertwined. Russandol’s left arm was across Findekáno’s shoulders, with the shorter nér bracing his head against it, and his fingers were tight in the blue tunic his husband had chosen to wear that morning.

“All right,” Findekáno said, looking up at Russandol as best he could. “We’ve done the hard bit - ”

“Getting me out of bed was the hard bit?” his husband interrupted.

“ - yes, Russo, it was.”

“What do you call the long walk to the laundry, then?” he asked, and then groaned in exaggerated, mock pain when Findekáno elbowed him playfully. “Ah! And now the truth comes out! My long-suffering husband has at last revealed his true nature, the dastardly villain!”

“Shut up,” Findekáno said, but he was laughing. “You’re awful, did you know that?”

“Only as awful as I’m allowed to be,” Russandol retorted. He was smirking, eyes sparking, and didn’t stop even when he dipped his head down to steal a kiss. His husband tried unsuccessfully to dodge him, caught between arm and chest, only relenting at the last possible second.

“You have to stop,” Findekáno said, almost gasping; his face was burning when they broke apart.

“Oh, do I?” Russandol asked, raising an eyebrow that was bisected by a scar. His expression was seemingly unchanged, but there was a sharp edge to it that turned Findekáno’s gut to soup and set his heart fluttering in his ribs. “What if I like making you blush?” He leaned down a second time, and his eyes were turned to molten silver, and the scars that traced their way across his face lent it a gravity and an intensity that threatened to leave the other nér weak and boneless on the wooden floor.

“We - we only just got up,” Findekáno managed to murmur finally, voice breathy and only half-convinced of what it said.

“And who’s to say we can’t get up again?” Russandol answered. His fingers gripped his husband’s arm like a vise, and the smirk returned to his thin lips. “Though, I’d have to stuff your mouth with a handkerchief - as I recall, Turukáno is on this wing, and you’re quite loud when you’re enjoying yourself.”

Findekáno acted without thinking, shoving the other nér hard upon mention of his brother. Maitimo staggered back, right arm casting about in the air, drawing his husband after him.

“Let go!” Findekáno cried, laughter edging into his voice. He was awkwardly tripping after Russandol, half-pressed against bare skin and well-draped bedsheet, and his brown eyes were dancing.

“Oh, no,” Russandol shot back, laughing openly as he staggered across the floor. “You caused this, you’re coming with me!”

“And if you fall, what then?”

“I shan’t fall, that’s what then!”

They were both laughing now, torn between mock combat and embrace after embrace, kissing and nearly kissing and making no progress towards either the bed or the door. Some nameless weight had finally broken apart, freeing them at last, and Findekáno was giddy with relief and dizzy joy.

“Kiss me,” he demanded between fits of giggles, reaching up with his free arm and forcing Russandol down to his mouth yet again. “Now.”

“As the Crown Prince commands,” Russandol answered, meeting his gaze.

There was a dangerous rumble to his voice that went right to Findekáno’s hips, and he was hard and fully erect when he pressed himself to his husband’s thigh and rode against the scant muscle and too-obvious bone.

“I’ve gained quite a lot of my strength back,” the taller nér continued, lips trailing over brown skin and teasing at kissing. “I ought to test it.”

“Oh?” Findekáno asked, his hröa flush against Russandol’s. Every inch of him was ablaze with need, and every almost-brush of his husband’s lips against his skin made him want to take matters into his own hands and slide his tongue into that damnably evasive mouth. “Test it how?”

“Like this,” Russandol breathed, and kissed him at last, forcing him backward and up. One arm went about his chest, and the other dipped down beneath the curve of his spine; he was pulled upward and off his feet all at once.

He groaned, remembering countless stolen hours in Valannor, and put his legs around Russandol’s waist so that his aching cock was riding against his husband’s bare stomach. His hips shifted, seeking friction, and his tongue was busily working its way into a mouth that practically begged for him. His eyes were shut, lost in the bright glory of their bond.

Russandol, for his part, was staggering back - his legs had failed to anticipate the weight of another elda, and were protesting this shock vehemently. He slammed into solid wood, reaching it at last, resting against it so he could hold Findekáno aloft and keep kissing him. Even this was not quite enough, and his elbows sought something more to brace against. But when his arm at last landed upon something hard and iron-cold, it gave way, and suddenly the wall itself was shifting away from him, and he was falling into empty air.

Findekáno cried out when Russandol fell backward, torn between shock and laughter as they landed hard enough to force the breath from his lungs.

“Oh, no,” he said, looking up to see the open door and the quiet hallway. We must have been braced against it, and Russandol’s arm caught the latch! He was too amused to be upset and too busy laughing to catch his breath.

“Are you all right?” he asked, still giggling. “Were you hurt?”

“No,” Russandol answered, “but I want to issue a formal complaint to whoever decided a door-latch ought to be at a level with my elbow.”

“I hope you don’t bruise,” Findekáno said, glancing up in front of them. “That would be hard to explain - !”

Aicatillë was seated on his stool, his sword across his knees, looking at the both of them with a bemused expression.

“Hello, haryon-nînya,” he said, nodding to each of the néri before him in turn. “Condo-nînya.”

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Findekáno said quickly, blushing furiously and wondering exactly what it was that he meant by making such a statement.

“I’m sure you’re right,” his guard replied; his narrow brown eyes were alight with mirth. “Is there anything I can do for either of you? A hand up, perhaps, or some clothes?”

Oh, I want to sink into the floor! Findekáno thought, nearly bursting into laughter when Russandol answered him with You’d have to go through me, and wouldn’t that be a pleasurable experience?

You’re awful, he said, still blushing, but he couldn’t keep a smile from creeping back onto his face as he untangled himself from his husband’s borrowed bedsheet. It’s a good thing I love you.

Indeed it is, the other nér told him, watching him get up with a dreamy expression. I think I’d be quite lost without you.

[sebcastellanos]

Hey! Sorry to be a pain but I saw a while back you talking about a winterfield playlist? I was just wondering what songs do you have on it? I started shipping them recently and I think they deserve some nice songs to sway too

omg pls... you're not a pain at all ok, that's very sweet of you to ask!!! thank you for the interest hahaha, i'm super flattered 😭

i've compiled them here on spotify if you'd like to listen (if you have a free account i suggest listening to it via the web player with uBlock origin installed to block ads), but personal favourites on the list atm are:

all i've ever known / hadestown All I've ever known is how to hold my own But now I wanna hold you, too

bad 4 us / superfruit Why can't I take you off my mind? (you're my knight in shining armor) With you I've never felt more alive This love could be bad for us Bad for us, bad for us, but I want it

ghosting / mother mother Hey, would it be so bad if I stayed I'm just a ghost out of his grave And I can't make love in my grave I won't put white into your hair I won't make noises in your stairs I will be kind and I'll be sweet If you stop staring straight through me

there is a light that never goes out / the smiths Driving in your car I never, never want to go home Because I haven't got one Anymore

what would i do / falsettos How am I to face tomorrow After being screwed out of today Tell me what's in store Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow If I could hold you for one hour more

i have a blanket apology for the smattering of genres and how they DO range from happy / sad / horny / etc songs but like... it's the vibe. It's the Vibe. i don't make clean, ordered playlists i just dump things that remind me of them HAHAHAHA... and i’m always updating it when i hear something new ;;;

[castielstiddies]

Okay so I'm balling over this goddamn song and destiel and I need to let you all know why so here it is: An Analysis of the Lyrics and Why They Fit Destiel Perfectly.

I just want to point out that Andrew Rannells (Whizzer) and Christian Borle (Marvin) perform this perfectly and I love them.

This is a very long post so be warned before you press that button.

It's important to have context so we can connect these two pairings together properly and bring more meaning out of this song like it deserves. So the main part of the synopsis says:

"Marvin, after Whizzer’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Whizzer has changed his life. Whizzer’s spirit come back, dressed as he was in the first scene, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."

Now let me just change some words here and we'll see how we all feel:

"Dean, after Cas’s death, reflects on their relationship and how loving Cas has changed his life. Cas’s spirit come back, dressed in his trenchcoat, both commenting on how they changed each others lives and on the future they were robbed of."

Are you crying yet? Don't worry we haven't even seen the lyrics yet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"[MARVIN]" Now I'd like to start off by saying that Marvin has been with both men and women and he's struggled with his own internalized homophobia and has found it difficult to openly love Whizzer throughout the show. The parallels are clear between Marvin and Dean.

"What would I do If I had not met you?" You can think of this two ways. One - What would Dean have done if Cas had not met him in Hell and saved him? Still getting tortured or more likely torturing others, an experience that he hated and wished to never live through again. The second (and I think better) way to think of this line is, when Dean met Cas on earth. How meeting Cas changed his life forever, opening him up to a whole new world of having someone who thought that he deserved to be saved and who gave up an entire army for him. Who proved his love and loyalty to him time and time again. So what would Dean have done if he had never met Cas on Earth? What if Cas never reached out to him after saving Dean from Hell? A little bit later in this verse Marvin sings...

"There are no answers"

...in regards to this question. Because there really are no answers to what would Dean have done without Cas because we simply can't imagine it. The same goes for Dean. Cas has changed his life so much that it's impossible to imagine what his life would be like without Cas.

"Who would I blame my life on?" When Christian Borle delivers this line on stage it's said with a small, sad laugh. Similar to how Dean uses humour to hide his feelings, Marvin does too.

"Once I was told That all men get what they deserve Who the hell then threw this curve?" Despite everything Cas has done wrong, Dean and all of us know that Cas did not get what he deserved when the Empty took him. We believe he deserved to be happy with Dean and Dean thinks so too.

"There are no answers But who would I be If you had not been my friend?" The word 'friend' here is what really ties it to Dean for me because they were friends first, they helped eachother through thick and thin before love started to seep in as well. Sure there was attraction from the beginning but it's about the fact that Dean's only shown to have one true, close best friend, and that's Cas.

"You're the only one One out of a thousand others Only one my child would allow" Alright so this line I did struggle to link to destiel, I was thinking about Jack and Claire but they're Cas's children. But what if we think of the 'child' as Sam. Dean raised Sam so it's easy to see him as his 'child' and it's important to Dean that Sam accepts the people that he's friends with. This is even more important with Cas because Dean may want to have a relationship with him in the future and also Cas lives in the bunker... with them. Dean definitaly needs Sam's permission if he wants Cas to live in their home. It's clear that Cas and Sam are the people Dean cares about the most and to have Sam 'allow' Cas to stay in their home and share their space is something that's really important to Dean.

"When I'm having fun You're the one I wanna talk to" Cue every gif of Dean smiling while hanging out with Cas or talking to Cas over the phone.

"Where have you been?" Where has Cas been for all of Dean's life? He completes Dean, builds up his self-confidence and assures him that he is wanted, needed and important. Just where has Cas been for all of Dean's life?

"Where are you now? So on this note there's a beautiful key change into the next part and it just makes it so much more profound. (Also Dean has no gosh darn clue where Cas is, who tf is the Empty?)

"Who would I be If I had not loved you?" This moment is fucking beautiful. It's Dean finally speaking his truth and telling Cas, wherever he is, that he loved him. He loved Cas and that changed him for the better, made him into the person he is today.

"How would I know what love is?" Dean has never been told so openly and honestly by anyone about how he is important, he's worthwhile and that he deserves to live a happy and full life, no one has done that besides Cas. No one has shown their loyalty and love to him in the most blatant and profound ways possible, giving up an entire army, rebelling against their own family, sticking by his side no matter what. Staying. How would Dean know what true love is without Cas constantly showing him what love means and what it feels like be loved fully and truly. Of course Dean has experienced love before, he's been in at least 2 other relationships (that I can think of off of the top of my head) but he's never felt love like the way he does with Cas.

"God only knows, too soon I'll remember your faults Meanwhile, though, it's tears and schmaltz" Of course as Dean relives memories of Cas, he'll be reminded of all of his faults, all of the things he did wrong even when he thought that what he was doing was right (Leviathians, Lucifer). But for now, Dean will breakdown and cry and grieve but most of all he'll remember Cas and how much he loved him.

"[WHIZZER]" Alright so Whizzer is a character who has never been shy about his sexuality, about how much he likes being with men. Similar to Cas who simply doesn't understand why people hide who they're attracted to until Dean came along and taught him differently.

"All your life you've wanted men" I like to think that this line applies to both Cas and Dean and I'll explore that with the next two lines.

"And when you got it up to have them Who knew it could end your life?" This is getting a bit meta now. When Dean was so very close to finally speaking his truth on screen, he died. (And in some versions he does speak his truth but that's another story). There was no reason for Dean to die in the finale, who knew that when he finally shared that he loved another man he would be killed for no reason two episodes later.

This line can also be in reference to Cas's experience. When Cas was finally able to tell Dean that he loved him, when he finally gained to courage to not only share his feelings but also to have his happiness ripped away from him, he died. Dean and Cas both knew what was going to happen when Cas said those words. It wasn't a surprise, yet it still felt like one.

"[MARVIN] I left my kid and left my wife" This is the moment when I could not stop crying and thinking about destiel when listening to this song. Dean left Lisa and (totally not) his son in season 5.

"To be with you" Of course it's a little bit of a stretch to say that Dean left Lisa and Ben solely for Cas (expecially since I think Dean realised his love for Cas in Season 7-8 so the timeline wouldn't make sense for me) but I like to think of this line from the perspective of Dean grieving Cas and looking back on how Cas changed his life. Of course he would remember that he left Lisa and Ben in order to be with Cas because that was 10 years ago and the memory is now muddled with grief, time and his now unwavering love for Cas. "To be insulted by such handsome men" This line just reminds me of the scene in the car when Cas and Dean are arguing (you know what I'm on about)

"[WHIZZER] Do you regret—?" Cas is asking Dean, do you regret loving me? Do you regret letting me into your life? Do you regret our friendship? It's beautiful to think that Cas feels vulnerable in this moment, he thinks that Dean regrets letting him into his life.

"[MARVIN] I'd do it again I'd like to believe that I'd do it again And again and again..." Now Dean's the one to build Cas back up, to assure him that he does not regret a thing. He's building up Cas's confidence and supporting him just like Cas has been doing for Dean.

"And What more can I say? [WHIZZER] What more can I say?" They're both lost for words, what do they say now? They know that they love eachother and they know that they won't be able to be together because of Cas's deal. What do you say in that situation?

"[MARVIN] How am I to face tomorrow?" Dean still has to continue living, without Cas. In 15x19 he's drowning himself in beer as he grieves the loss of Cas. How can he face tomorrow after Cas has confessed his love for him and then died in a matter of minutes? How can he face tomorrow knowing that saying that he loves Dean, that by having Dean know that someone loves him, is the happiest moment Cas has ever felt?

"[BOTH] After being screwed out of today" Haha screw...

"Tell me what's in store" They're still looking to eachother for guidance and support despite the distance between them.

"[MARVIN] Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow" Dean's turning to things that he can control in order to deal with his grief. Despite the finale ending I think it's widely accepted in the Destiel fandom that Dean would work night and day until he got Cas back from the empty.

"If I could hold you for One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [MARVIN] One hour more [WHIZZER] One hour more [BOTH] One hour, one hour more" Now that they know that they both love eachother, that they could have had everything they wanted if they just told one another. They're begging all of the higher powers that there are that they could enjoy what could have been for one hour. Simply relishing in the fact that they are happy and in love and that they are both wanted.

"[MARVIN] What would I do [WHIZZER] What would I do [MARVIN] If I had not seen you? [WHIZZER] If I had not seen you? [BOTH] Who would I feast my eyes on?" Once again I'm just thinking about the idea of that 'one hour more' and how they would constantly compliment one another and freely look at each other without shame or embarrassment and to just allow themselves to have everything that they wanted.

"Once I was told That good men get better with age [MARVIN] We're just gonna skip that stage" This can be seen two ways, one is that Cas simply cannot age and Dean is once again using humour to hide his grief. Or my favourite version which is that Dean never got to grow old with Cas, (I strongly believe that Cas would allow his vessel to grow old with Dean). Dean wanted to live a normal life, he wanted to get a job and stop hunting but most of all he wanted to grow old with Cas.

If you watch the live version of this song here: https://youtu.be/ZscL4LOLP7Y

You'll hear how Christian Borle's voice cracks when delivering this line. The rest of the lyrics are repeats of lines that I've already covered.

And I'm done boys. Thank you for sticking with this very very long post but I needed to get this out somewhere.

I highly recommend watching Falsettos for yourself if you want to get a better insight into how Marvin/Whizzer and Destiel compare or if you just like the look of it.

[elizabethvaughns]

only one my child would allowwww

you’re the one i wanna talk to

where have you been, where are you now?

who would i be if i had not loved you, how would i know what love is?

there are no answers, but what would i do if you had not been my friend?

do you regret? i’d do it again. I’D LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT I’D DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGGGAIIIIIN

yes i’d beg or steal or borrow if i could hold you for one hour more

ONE HOUR ONE HOUR MORE

once i was told that good men get better with age...we’re just gonna skip that stage

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

Top 5 heartbreaking lyrics

anon wants me to bring on the pain okay 

(once again not sure if top 5, but these are def lyrics that i listen to and every time it hits me in the heart)

What More Can I Say - Falsettos: How am I to face tomorrow? / After being screwed out of today / Tell me what’s in store / Yes, I’d beg or steal or borrow / If I could hold you for one hour more

With You - Ghost: Those unfinished conversations we used to have still speak to me / And I write you letters every day that I’ll never send / And that you’ll never see / All this wishful thinking gets me, nowhere I can stay / Though my heart is broken, it keeps breaking everyday

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Les Mis: Oh my friends, my friends forgive me / That I live and you are gone / There’s a grief that can’t be spoken / There’s a pain goes on and on

Me and the Sky - Come From Away: Suddenly I’m flying Paris to Dallas / Across the Atlantic and feeling calm / When suddenly someone on air-to-air traffic says / “At 8:46 there’s been a terrorist action” / And the one thing I loved more than anything / Was used as the bomb

I’ve Been - Next to Normal: Now I’m strolling right beside her / As the black hole opens wide / Mine is just a slower suicide

[losersclub3000]

spare reddie playlist??

oh kora u KNOW i got spare reddie!!!! i could live for years off all the spare reddie i have..

1. let’s sort the whole thing out by carly rae jepsen

carly my radiant queen... literally EVERY line of this song is so reddie but also “somebody wants you/somebody cares (for real)” like richie just loving eddie so much and having it be REAL love and not the abuse eddie’s been groomed to accept as love...  im going to cry

2. i want to know what love is by foreigner

this song fucks me UP!!!! i have a VIVID image in my mind of richie listening to this in his room on a shitty old cassette player and just. simmering quietly in this scary all encompassing love. maybe im writing a fic about it.

3. california friends by the regrettes

this one is @moonlight-stanata‘s fault bc we listened to this almost nonstop when we were in hawaii together 🥺 but also its SUCH a reddie song like... 90s au where they dont forget and richie moves to cali but they stay in touch and constantly dance around their feelings for each other on their like every other night phone calls... yeah...

4. can’t take my eyes off you by frankie valli

this one is @arionaleilani‘s fault because of her AMAZING fic empty world that honestly is still fucking me up weeks later. i have spent so much time thinking about this fic. it is a masterclass in plot, characterization, suspense, writing, EVERYTHING. but yeah this song is... relevant in the fic. also i have just loved it forever and maybe i like to imagine richie and eddie quietly slow dancing together in one of their rooms at night to old records!!! maybe!!!

5. what would i do? from falsettos

fred and tian this one’s for yall falsetto warriors forever... this song literally never fails to make me feel like someone has punched me the whole ass chest. VERY eddie is dying and richie has to move on with his life without getting closure or a chance to have the life they deserved together. also this is just an AMAZING but heartbreaking musical hhhhh anyway: “how am i to face tomorrow/after being screwed out of today?/tell me what’s in store/yes i’d beg steal or borrow/if i could hold you for one hour more/one hour more, one hour more, one hour more” and ALSO “once i was told good men get better with age/i guess we’re just gonna skip that stage” end my fucking LIFE

send me a ship or a character for a playlist + analysis! ♡

[takenbyemrys]

Chapter 1/4

Pairing: Peter Parker/Harley Keener

Summary:

Peter had never met his boyfriend irl. Yes they skyped and knew each other, but it was never really enough. When Harley mentions a special surprise that he's sending Peter, the boy is obviously excited, but first he has to get through a party that Mr.Stark decided to throw.

Each chapter can be read as a oneshot

@potatobaby

Hey sweetheart, hows the school day?

@peterwithaB

Fucking SUUUCKS

@peterwithaB

Ya know, the ushe

@potatobaby

Excuse me? The what?

@potatobaby

I will never understand your NY slang

@peterwithaB

Like you have room to talk Mr.y’all’dve

@peterwithaB

Like tf.

@peterwithaB

On another note, are we still on for tonight?

@potatobaby

Like i would miss a date with my sweetheart ;) I have a surprise for ya, so don’t be late

@peterwithaB

:*

Peter slid his phone into his backpack with a grin. He shoved it under the dumpster this time, hoping no one would steal it this time. Peter flung himself through the city with ease, keeping one ear open for crime. His other ear was listening to Ned and MJ argue about physics.

“Hey guys,” Peter perched on a gargoyle.

“Sorry Peter, what’s going on?” Ned asked.

“No, nothing crime related. I was just wondering what you guys thought about Harley?” Peter held his breath, waiting for their answer.

“Jesus christ Parker. Your dating a super hot southern belle that you’ve never met in person. It’s the equivalent of having a girlfriend in Canada. If I hadn’t skyped him with you once, I wouldn't have believed you. However, he’s great. Why?” MJ snorted. Peter smiled under the suit.

“I want… I want to meet him.” Peter murmured.

“Awe, dude.” Ned crooned. MJ snickered.

“Peter, there is a mugging on the corner of 12th and 31st behind Tower Cleaners.” Karen interrupted.

“Thanks Karen, guys, gotta put ya on hold.” Peter leapt off the gargoyle and swung toward the mugging. The mugger was holding up a girl, probably around fourteen.

“Give me your goddamn money kid. I’m not gonna tell you again.” The guy was pretty average looking, with a butterfly knife clutched in his hand. Peter dropped right behind him.

“That’s so rude. Any no way for you to ask someone for money.” Peter said. The man swung around, the knife making a wide arc. Peter sucked in and arched his back, missing the blade by a hair. “Like there should be a please, and at least like begging because your moms dying or something. Like honestly, swearing at kids? What the fuck?” Peter dropped to the ground and swept the muggers legs out from under him. The man hit the ground and before he could get up, Peter webbed him to the ground. Peter turned to find the teenage girl pressed against a dumpster.

“Hey are you okay?” Peter held up his hands.

“Yep, I'm good. Holy fuck. Thank you Spider-man.” She half stuttered.

“Do you need a ride somewhere? I can help you get wherever you need to go.” Peter held out a hand.

“Nah, my bus stops only a block away. Thank you.” She darted in and hugged him before sprinting from the alley. Peter grinned and started walking up the wall. “Karen, please inform the police of the mugger in the alley.” He chirped.

“Of course, Peter. I will let you know if I find any more disturbances.”

“Okay guys, I’m back.” Peter tapped back into the group call.

“Good, what are you going to do about Harley?” Ned asked.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like we have anyway to see each other. Neither of us are rich enough for a plane ticket. Plus next year we’re both going off to college. We’ve never really talked about the future. We always avoid it.” Peter sighed and relaxed back on his gargoyle.

“Stop being such a loser. Ask Stark.” MJ said. Radio silence ensued.

“MJ there is no way i can ask Mr.Tony Stark to fly my boyfriend, who he doesn’t know about, to New York. How can I even ask that? Mr. Stark, can I borrow your private jet? Oh just for this person I've never ever met in person.”

“Nah, just be like ‘Stark, I’m ridiculously in love with this southern piece of ass, and I need to meet him.’” MJ said. Peter could hear her smirk. He blushed and sputtered.

“MJ! I’m not… I’m not in love with him. I’ve never even met him in person.”

“That was the least convincing thing I’ve ever heard you say Peter. And you tried to convince me you weren’t Spider-Man after you jumped from the ceiling.” Ned laughed.

“Well, I refuse to go anywhere near that. We haven’t even kissed yet. What if it's not right? What if we don’t fit together like we do on the internet? Guys I’m fucking terrified.” Peter took a deep breath.

“Peter, you guys are super good together. Even if its long distance, you really know how to be there for each other. Remember when Harley’s sister went to that party, and he called you absolutely panicking? You talked him down so fast. And when you got stabbed that one time? He was able to calm you down enough for MJ to stitch you up. And you didn’t even let out that you were stabbed.” Ned assured.

“If you give me anymore doubts, I’m calling Shuri.” MJ effectively ended the discussion. “Hey, someone needs to explain the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. Harrington made absolutely no sense.” Peter launched into the explanation and rolled off the gargoyle. He swung around a bit longer until he headed back to his backpack.

“Okay, Peter, I think you went a little above and beyond on the explanation.” Ned laughed.

“Quantum physics is exciting okay?” Peter crawled under the dumpster and whooped in relief. His backpack was still there.

“Alright loser. Go have a nice date with your boyfriend. We’ll see you tomorrow.” MJ ended the call without another word.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Pete. Don’t let yourself get all worried about this okay? If it bothers you that much, talk to Harley about it.” Ned reassured his best friend.

“Thanks Ned. I’ll let you know how it goes?” Peter said.

“Of course dude.” Ned ended the call. Peter changed quickly and walked the rest of the way home.

“May, are you home?” He called when he opened the door.

“In the kitchen!” She called. Peter made his way in to find her scrutinizing a cookbook. “Hey honey, have any time to help me cook?” She grinned sheepishly.

“I have my… thing with Harley.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck. May lit up.

“Date. Your date.” May sighed. Peter blushed “That's probably for the best. I’ll order Thai?”

“Yes please! And yes. It’s our regular skype date.” Peter skipped into his room.

“How was patrol?” May asked, she had followed him to his room, but she was looking at the Thai menu.

“Good. Saved a girl from a mugging.” Peter pulled out his laptop.

“That’s awesome Pete. Did you stay safe?”

“Yes Aunt May.”

“Do you just want the usual?” Peter nodded. “Cool, i run and grab it.”

“Stay safe!” He called as she walked away. He ran his fingers through his hair before calling Harley. The southern boy answered in less than a minute, a massive grin on his face.

“Hey sweetheart.” Harley greeted. Peter automatically blushed.

“Oh shut up.” Peter looked away with a grin.

“So, what happened that sucked so much? MJ being mean during decathlon, again?” Peter snorted.

“MJs always mean. But, no. Flash was just a dick again. Same old same old.” Peter rolled his eyes. Harley’s eyes narrowed.

“What did that motherfucker say this time?” Harley half growled. Peter smiled softly.

“Well, you know I have an internship at Stark Industries?” Peter refused to lie about that to his boyfriend. It was common knowledge on the SI website. Harley grinned. “Well, he kept going on about how I got the internship. Like bad ways.” Harley took a deep breath.

“Peter. I know, you’re big into the handling it thing. But you need to tell someone. What about someone at SI? Who do you report to?” Harley didn’t really know much about the internship. Peter was pretty secretive about everything, stating that he had signed an NDA when he started. Peter shook his head.

“I won’t bother anyone there. I’m the youngest intern there. Everyone else is in their late college years. And I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Have you thought about college?” Harley shifted nervously.

“Honestly, I’ll probably end up at NYU. I know MIT would be a better fit. And I know I'd get it, but I really don’t think I can leave New York.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck. Harley nodded. “What about you?”

“I have no idea. I still don’t know what to do about Abbs. I don’t know if I can leave her here alone.” Peter nodded in understanding. Abby was the most important person in Harley’s life, without a doubt.

“So, I seem to recall you having a surprise.” Peter steered the conversation away from the heavy stuff. Harley lit up with a grin.

“Okay, so I don't know if I want to tell you. Or just surprise you with it.” Harley smirked.

“Harles. Come on! I don’t do surprises that well.” Peter whined.

“Sweetheart. I think you just made up my mind. I’m not tellin ya.” Harley grinned. Peter dropped his head on his desk to the sound of Harley’s laughter.

“Pete!” May poked her head in his room and held out a bag of Thai.

“Oh yes! Thank you May!” Peter grabbed the bag and hopped back into his desk chair. Harley grinned at his boyfriend.

“Dork.” They talked for another hour before Harley had to head to bed. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” Peter nodded and gave him an embarrassed smile.

The next morning, Peter received a text from Mr. Stark reminding him that Happy was picking him up after school. Nothing was going to ruin internship day for Peter. No matter how much of a dick Flash was.

After classes, Ned and MJ helped him speculate on the surprise as he waited for Happy.

“What if he’s coming to New York?” MJ asked.

“There’s no way. Neither of us have the money. Anything he makes at his mechanics job goes to being an adult.” Peter perked up at the sight of Happy’s car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” He sped off toward the car.

“Hey kid.” Happy greeted. “Hi Happy! How’re you?” Peter asked.

“I’m good Pete. How was school?” Peter rambled as they drove through the city. When Happy drove into Tony’s private parking lot, Peter hopped out with a grin.

“Thank you Happy!!” Peter bounded over to the private elevator.

“Welcome back Peter. The Boss is currently in his private lab. He has asked that you meet him there.” FRIDAY spoke softly.

“Thank you FRIDAY!” Peter took the elevator directly to Tony’s lab.

“Hey kid. How was school?” Tony was leaning over a tiny arc reactor.

“It was good Mr. Stark. Whatcha workin on?” Peter sat on a rolling stool across the table from Tony.

“Just a little project for a friend. So, i know you have projects to work on,” Tony put down his tools and pulled off his goggled. “But we are actually going to run errands.”

“Like shopping?” Peter asked.

“Yep. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you about it yet. We’re having a gala party thing on Friday. Pepper and I decided that you’re gonna go.” Tony stated. Peter’s jaw dropped.

“But Mr.Stark,”

“Tony.”

“Mr.Stark, are you sure you want me to go?” Tony’s gaze softened.

“Of course Pete. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn't. Plus I have someone coming into town that I want you to meet. Now, lets go. We have to get you a tux.” Peter scrambled after Tony. They went to four different shops until Tony found the tux he wanted for Peter. The kid almost fainted at the price tag, telling Tony that he couldn’t afford it. Tony just snorted and turned back to the salesperson.

Afterwards, Tony drug him to a ridiculously expensive restaurant, and refused to let Peter order the $30 side salad.

“Mr. Stark, this is too much.” Peter tried to say.

“Pete, you’re not a regular intern. Pep and I have agreed on that. Now when’s your next decathlon meet?” Peter launched into the details of the next meet with ease. After dinner Tony drove them to Peter’s apartment.

“Remember, Happy will pick you up here at six on Friday. Make sure you bring your bag to spend the weekend, okay?” Tony reminded Peter. The boy rolled his eyes and jumped out of the car.

“Alright, Dad. I’ll see you later!” Peter ran up the stairs shaking his head. It wasn’t until he closed the apartment door behind him that he realized what he said. He froze as the door slammed. May looked up from the couch.

“Peter, what happened?” She asked. Peter reached up and grabbed his hair.

“I just called Mr. Stark Dad!” He cried. May tried to cover a snort with her hand.

“Well, what did you do today?” She asked.

“We went shopping. There’s a party on Friday, so Mr.Stark decided I needed a custom tailored tux.” May’s jaw dropped. Peter brandished the garment bag. He hung it up in the hall closet gently.

“Well, damn. Come here and tell me about it.” May gestured to the seat next to her. Peter crawled on the couch next to her and groaned. He recounted the day while May ran her fingers through his hair. He fell asleep halfway through the story.

He woke up the next morning with a grin. He found a couple messages from Harley.

@potatobaby

Hey darlin, how was the internship?

@potatobaby

Peeeeeeter, im booooorred,

@potatobaby

Fine, be that way, see if i tell you about your surprise :P

@peterwithaB

Meanie. You know its going to be killing me till i find out.

@potatpbaby

Itll be there on Saturday okay?

@peterwithaB

YEEEAAAS ok i have to go to class

@potatobaby

Have fun. Punch Flash in the face for me

The day was slow, but Peter was really looking forward to the party. MJ kept having to elbow him to get him to pay attention during practice. Peter wasn’t able to skype with Harley that night due to patrol after practice. He collapsed on his bed and passed out in his suit. May chuckled the next morning when she found him. She snapped a picture and sent it to Tony. Who replied with a teary emoji.

“Yeah. He’s such a dad.” May said to herself. She shook Peter awake and went about her routine. Flash was in a mood during the day. Peter found himself pulled into the boys restroom as soon as he was out of Ned and MJ’s sight. A couple minutes later, Flash left the bathroom with a smug look. Peter pulled himself up off the floor.

“You can’t punch him back Peter. He’s a weak human. You’ll probably kill him.” Peter said to himself quietly. His hands shook as he pulled out his phone. He called Harley on autopilot. It rang for a minute before Harley answered.

“Hey, sweetheart what's wrong?” Harleys voice was low and obviously concerned.

“I just really need you to talk. If that’s okay.” Peter shuddered out another breath.

“Pete, are you hurt?” Harley asked.

“No, I’m okay. Just need to keep a level head, so i don’t murder Flash.” Pete ground out. He pulled up his shirt to see a large bruise forming on his side. He didn’t worry too much, as it would be gone by midnight, but fuck it hurt.

“What happened?”

“Nothing, what are you doing?” Harley sighed. He was leaning against the car that had driven him to the local private airfield. Tony was about to jog over, but Harley held up a hand to keep him away.

“I’m getting your surprise ready. Making some last minute adjustments.”

“Aren’t you in school?” Peter asked.

“Nah, I decided to skip the day. This sounded like more fun.” Harley grinned. “Darlin’ I'm always here if you want to talk about what happens okay? There are options, and I have friends in high places.” Harley murmured. Peter chuckled.

“Thanks Harles. I needed this. Okay, go back to your surprise. I’ll talk to you later k?”

“Course sweetheart.” Harley slipped the phone back in his pocket and sighed. He stood up and grabbed his duffel bag. He jogged over to Tony, who was staring at him curiously.

“Abby?” He asked.

“Nah, now are we going old man? I have things waiting for me in New York.” Harley clapped Tony on the shoulder and started climbing the stairs to the private jet. Tony just snorted and followed.

“You have a party waiting first and foremost. There’s someone I want you to meet there. So be on your best behavior.” Tony scolded. Harley slouched in a large chair.

“Aren’t i always?” Tony just rolled his eyes and settled in for the flight.

**

Peter stayed in the bathroom until the class period was over. He knew if he walked in that late that he’d have detention, and he couldn’t afford that today. He slipped into the halls when they were full and was determined to keep his head down the rest of the day. In his last class, the only class he had with MJ, Flash kept sending him nasty smirks. MJ’s eyes flicked from Peter to Flash and her eyes hardened.

“Peter. I know you have a hero complex bigger than Stark’s, but you have to tell him.” She said quietly. Peter looked at her, panic in his wide eyes. “I’m not an idiot. Tell him.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Peter looked down at his hands and started doodling his web shooters. MJ leaned into him slightly.

“Okay.” After class, Peter ran off to do a quick patrol before getting ready for the party. When he got back to the apartment, May was staring at his tux, which she had hung on his door.

“You think we can sell it to pay rent for the next ten years?” Peter asked. May snorted with laughter.

“I think we could sell it to buy the building. He really went all out for this party. Why does he want you there?” She asked. Peter shrugged.

“I have no idea what it's for. I know there’s someone he wants me to meet? I’ve met all the avengers already, maybe a scientist?” Peter speculated. He leaned into May’s side. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Maybe he’s trying to set you up?” She snickered.

“Ugh, I hope not. That would be so awkward. Especially because apparently Harley has a surprise for me tomorrow. So if a package arrives, don’t open it.” Peter held up a finger and glared at his aunt. May held her hands up in surrender.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Okay, Happy is going to be here in an hour. Get dressed, let me go find a video on how to tie a bow tie.” May closed the door behind her with a smile.

Peter slipped into the tux with ease. He fiddled with french cuffs for a second before realizing he didn’t have any cuff links. Peter grinned when he looked in the mirror. He went into the bathroom and pulled out the styling gel that May had bought him. He ran his fingers through his hair, making the waves stay out of his face.

“Pete!” May called. Peter walked into the living room to find Happy waiting with a small bag.

“Tony asked me to bring these.” Happy handed him the bag and Peter bounced with excitement. Inside he found custom silver cuff links that were in the shape of his spider symbol.

“Holy crap, these are so cool!” He slipped them onto his cuffs and held them out for May to see.

“He wanted to give you Iron Man ones but Pepper put a stop to that.” Happy chuckled. May rolled her eyes and mouthed ‘such a dad’ to Happy, who nodded.

“Wow, May will you?” Pete gestured to his bow tie. May stepped forward and started trying to tie it. After three failed attempts Happy stepped forward.

“I got it.” He did up the tie with ease.

“Thanks Happy!” Peter went back to his room and threw some clothes into his backpack, along with his laptop.

“Got everything you need?” Happy asked. Peter nodded and hugged May.

“You let me know the minute something arrives tomorrow okay?” Peter asked. May nodded.

“Of course I will Pete. I know how important it is to you. Now go have fun and drink some fancy champagne for me.” May ushered them out the door with a smile. Peter climbed in the back of the car and immediately started fidgeting.

“Pete. There’s nothing to be nervous about.” Happy said from the front seat.

“I know, but I've never done something like this. And what if I'm like this kid in the middle of a ton of adults?” Peter asked.

“Tony is bringing another kid, about your age. He met him a good number of years ago. He helped him out when the mandarin was a thing. You remember? So at least there's someone your age.” Happy said.

“Is that who Mr.Stark wants me to meet?” Pete leaned forward to have a better conversation. Happy nodded.

“I’m pretty sure Tony wants to bring him on with the company, so he wants you two to be friendly at least. But you need to relax kid. Or else we’ll have another spider crash on our hands. What’s coming tomorrow?” Happy raised an eyebrow as Peter blushed and sunk back into his seat.

“Well, I’m seeing someone, and they live out of state.” He started. Happy’s other eyebrow jumped up to join its brother. “And they said they had a surprise for me that’s going to arrive tomorrow. It’s not unusual to send each other care package, but he made this one seem special. So I'm a bit excited.” Peter smiled at his hands.

“Does Tony know you’re seeing someone?” Happy asked. Peter shook his head.

“How do i even bring that up? I mean it’s not important to the work we do.” Peter blushed. Happy shook his head, making a mental note to berate Tony a little bit. “But neither of us can afford to come visit each other, and MJ was like just ask Mr.Stark. Like i could ask Mr.Stark to lend me his private jet.” Peter snorted in amusement. Happy shook his head again, knowing that Tony had bought Peter a private jet, but was a coward and hadn’t told him about it. But then, he’d also bought the kid a car. And an apartment building. And a very large amount of shares of SI.

“Maybe you’ll be surprised.” Happy said. “What’s his name?” Peter fiddled with his hands before answering.

“Harley Keener.” Happy choked back a laugh. “Happy are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm good, kid. Just breathed in wrong. So how’d you meet him?” Happy was internally screaming. There was no way he was skipping out of the party now. Just to see Tony’s face when these two kids laid eyes on each other.

“We met online actually. Tumblr.” Peter shrugged. Happy pulled into the parking garage and tried to contain his glee. Peter was surprised when Happy got out and followed him to the elevator. “Not skipping this one?”

“Nope. Won’t miss this one for anything.” Happy pushed the button that led them to the rooftop, Tony’s preferred party spot.

**

Harley tugged on his collar, hoping to relieve the pressure somewhat. Tony quickly smacked at his hand, not even bothering to interrupt his conversation. The woman, Natasha Romanov, looked amused. Harley had been rightly intimidated when he found out that ¼ of the party guests were avengers or heros of some sorts.

“Where’s my little spider?” She asked suddenly. Harley perked up at this. Was she talking about Spider-Man? Tony rolled his eyes.

“You’re too attached to the kid.” He said a little gruffly. Harley raised an eyebrow.

“Tony, was that, jealousy i hear?” Harley smirked. “I for one, would be thrilled if Natasha Romanov decided to be attached to me. I’d know for a fact i would never die.” Natasha threw back her head and laughed.

“Oh, I like this one. Maybe he can get Peter to open up a little more. I know he’s sassy under that layer of pure fluff.” She said. “And Tony. I’m not the one who bought him a $4000 tux.”

“Peter?” Harley asked. There was no way. Tony glared at Natasha.

“No, but at least I didn’t give him a fucking garrote to take to school. And yeah, Peter is the person i wanted you to meet. He should be here any minute. Happy went to get him.” Tony explained. Natasha raised a hand, motioning to someone behind Harley and Tony. Her brows furrowed in thought.

“Happys here too.” Tony whipped around in confusion. Happy always skips his roof parties. Peter was scanning the party, looking more than a little nervous. Harley turned to look with them and froze. Natasha smirked at him expression. Peter’s eyes found Tony and he almost deflated in relief. They were only a couple feet away at this point. His eyes drug to Natasha with a smile and finally, they landed on Harley. Peter froze mid step. Tony looked between the two of them, confusion on his face.

Harley’s curly hair was gelled so it hung in front of his forehead, and his suit was just as fitted as Peter’s. Harley shook himself from the shock first and grinned wide.

“Well sweetheart, i guess your surprise arrived a day early.” Harley smirked. Peter gasped. They both moved at the same time. Peter’s hands landed on Harley’s waist, while Harley gripped on of Peter’s hip. His other hand reached up and landed on Peter’s jaw. And then, they were kissing. It was like everything fell into place.

Peter’s heart was beating a mile a minute in his chest. His senses were dialed to 100, all focused on Harley.

Harley couldn’t believe it. He had waited so long to finally do this. When Tony had called and asked him to come stay for a week, he had jumped at the opportunity, already putting a plan into motion. Holding Peter in his arms was so natural and something he never wanted to stop doing. When they pulled away, they rested their foreheads together and just breathed.

“What the ever loving fuck!” Tony exclaimed. Harley shook his head.

“Youngest intern around huh?” Harley asked. Peter shook with laughter.

“Those NDAs are a bitch.” He shrugged. Peter slipped their hands together and pulled him back to Tony and Natasha. Tony was gaping at them, while Natasha was smirking like she knew. And in all honesty, she probably had. She stepped forward and kissed Peter on the cheek.

“Are you still bringing your weapons to school?” She asked. Peter rolled his eyes.

“Yes Nat.” He recited. “But, I remind you again. Pulling knives on students would get me expelled.” Harley stared at Peter, a soft smile on his face. He just wanted to drink in the sight of actually standing next to his boyfriend.

“I ask again. What the fuck?” Tony cried. Happy was taking pictures of the entire situation.

“Oh my god, old man. Do you need bifocals? We are obviously dating.” Harley snorted. Peter flushed at Harley’s tone, gaping at him. He shook his head and focused on Tony.

“We met online about a year ago. I can’t believe he was the one who saved you from the mandarin.” Peter beamed at Harley.

“Those NDAs are a bitch.” Harley parroted. Peter dissolved into giggles.

“But. But I was going to introduce you!” Tony said. Peter shrugged.

“Sorry Mr. Stark.” Peter shrugged.

“Mr. Stark.” Harley snickered. “You’re so fucking adorable.”A waiter passed and Peter grabbed two flutes of champagne.

“Look champagne. Let’s take this and go to my perch to talk about the fact that you were just going to show up at my house.” Peter latched onto Harley’s hand and started to lead him back through the party. He turned back to Tony and grinned. “Thanks for flying out my southern belle Mr.Stark.” Harley howled with laughter as he let Peter drag him away.

[westcoastbroadway]

Broadway Lines That Hit Me Hard

You know those lines when you just sit for a minute and think "damn"? Yeah those

"I could never rescue you/ no matter how I tried/ all I could do was love you hard/ and let you go" -The Last Five Years

"Once I was told that good men get better with age/We're just gonna skip that stage" -Falsettos

"I can't spend my whole life dreaming/ though I know that's all I seem inclined to do" -Newsies

"She took Thomas and never said goodbye/the one thing I could never give to him was time/time/I'm left with nothing/nothing but time" -Tuck Everlasting

"Fighting for a new world that they knew would soon be won/where's that new world now that fighting's done?" -Les Miserables

"And our lives are in these boxes while the woman who held us is gone" -In The Heights

"There are moments when you're in so deep/ it feels easier to just swim down" -Hamilton

"Growing stronger each day until it finally reminds her/to fight just a little and bring back the fire in her eyes/that's been gone but used to be mine" -Waitress

"And the best part of me/ is what he wouldn't see" -Kinky Boots

"It isn't where I am/it's only where I'll go from here/ that matters now/ the past can only fade" -Amelie

"Mr. Cellophane/ should have been my name/ Mr. Cellophane/ cause you can look right through me/ walk on by me/ and never know I'm there" -Chicago

"kiss today goodbye/ and point me toward tomorrow/ we did what we had to do/ won't forget, can't regret/ what I did for love" -A Chorus Line

"I can't believe he's gone/ and I can't believe you're going/ I can't believe this family must die/ Angel helped us believe in love/ I can't believe you disagree/ I can't believe that this is goodbye" -Rent

Honorable mentions:

"it don't take much to be a dreamer/ all you do is close your eyes/ but some made up world is all you ever see" -Newsies

"I will not fail to make you comfortable Cathy/I will not lose just because you can't win" -The Last Five Years

"tell me what's in store/ yes I'd beg or steal or borrow/ if I could hold you for one hour more" -Falsettos

"you can't have living without dying/ so you can't call this living what we got" -Tuck Everlasting

"something to feel/ to race through your blood and remind you you're here/ to open your eyes and look around/ and see the sky when you're underground" -Waitress

[scuzmunkie]

Love is Blind: Chapter 4

A/N: My darling little pumpkins!! Thank you so much for all the love and support!!! Here’s chapter 4!! As always, lmk I there are any mistakes! I really appreciate all the feedback and reviews! Lmk if you’d like to be added to the tag list!! Enjoy!!

Seth Rollins x Blind OFC

Warnings: Language, feels, there’s a bit of an uncomfortable scene (slight  sexual assault) so it might be triggering for some so please don’t read if it’s uneasy for you!! I want to make sure all my readers are happy and comfortable!

Word Count: 2000+

Summary: Seth was Lily’s world, she was foolish enough to think that she was his. That is until he leaves her behind in pursuit of his dreams. What happens when fate throws them together again years after the heartache and tears? How can Lily see past the pain of the past when she can’t see at all?    

+++

Lily hummed to herself, as she slaved away in the kitchen when she smelt the sweet perfume of Renee.

“Hey Re-Re!” She said, popping a strawberry in her mouth.

“Hey! Whatcha doin?” She asked as she side hugged Lily. She looked down and noticed that Lily was wearing Seth’s favorite A Day to Remember T-shirt. “Did you steal this from Seth?” She asked with a giggle.

“Well... I mean, steal is a strong word, I look at it more as borrowing. And to answer your question, I thought I’d make Seth a birthday cake and double it as a six month anniversary cake.” Lily answered, holding a frosting covered spatula out to where Renee’s voice was. “Wanna taste?”

Renee eagerly took the tasty treat bringing it to her lips and indulged in the chocolaty goodness.

“Mmmmmm!! Oh, wow, he is gonna love this. Lucky bastard...” Renee said with a mouth full of frosting.

Lily couldn’t help but smile at the life she was living. She had an amazing group of friends, a major she loved and a wonderful boyfriend. Never in a million years did she think she’d be so lucky. Seth made her feel safe, like she could do anything. He didn’t see her as broken like so many had before. Their relationship hadn’t had any speed bumps accept when jealousy reared it’s ugly head a few months ago.

—-

Lily was waiting for Seth outside the weight room when she was struck by an overly strong scent of cologne. She crinkled her nose, feeling dizzy from the overwhelming aroma. There was another scent that was just as heavy, alcohol. She suddenly felt an arm draped around her shoulders.

“Well, well, *hiccup* well. If it isn’t Sethie’s little blind bitch.” He said, his breath fanning over Lily’s face. She new that voice, it belonged to Micah. Seth came home about a week ago fuming. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed her and held her for hours. Later on Renee told her that Micah was insanely jealous of Seth to the point where he purposely tried to injure him when they sparred, resulting in coach kicking Micah off the team.

“What do you want, Micah?” Lily asked, trying to make her voice as steady as possible but failing miserably.

“I was just admiring the view. That a problem?” His words slurred.

“Um, actually yes, I don’t exactly like it when people stare at me.”

She felt him move closer, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, “What if I told you I don’t care?”

Lily shivered, fear creeping its way down her spine.

“Please, just leave me alone. Seth will be out here any minute!!” She tried to walk away only to be pulled back and pinned against a near by wall.

“No one cares. What’s so great about him?! He’s just a punk ass bitch. Stay and play with me!” He said with a cruel laugh. His grip on her shoulders tightened causing her to wince in pain. When she tried to push him off he violently grabbed her wrists with one of his hands and pinned them above her head.

Lily began to panic, tears streaming down her face as his free hand started exploring her body and felt his drunken lips on the sensitive skin of her neck. She mustered up all the strength she could, taking a deep breath.

“SEEEEEEETH!!!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

—-

Seth was bench pressing with Roman and Dean, laughing about some lame ass joke Dean made at Roman’s expense, when all three men’s heads snapped towards the door at the sound of Lily screaming for Seth. They ran out of the door and found Micah with his disgusting hands all over Lily. Seth saw red, his blood boiling, he charged Micah, grabbing the back of his shirt and threw him onto the ground. He pounced on him, landing punch after punch to Micah’s face. He would’ve kept beating him until he heard his angels voice.

“Seth, please...” She softly pleaded. He looked over his shoulder seeing Lily reaching her arms out in his direction from the safety of Roman’s arms. His heart immediately melted. He stood and pulled her into his arms, one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his free hand cradling her head as she clutched his shirt, crying into his chest.

“It’s ok, pretty baby. I’m here now. You’re safe, you’re safe.” By this time, coach was there with the local authorities slapping handcuffs on Micah.

That night Seth held Lily as close as humanly possible, comforting her when she woke from nightmares from the horrific events earlier that day.

—-

She was brought back to reality when she heard Renee walking and the sound of papers rustling.

“What is this? ‘The Bed Song’ ?” Renee asked, looking at sheet music and lyrics printed with braille under each word.

“Oh, that’s a song I’m working on with Amanda. She needs help now more than ever since Brian and her went separate ways. Now she’s concentrating on a solo career.”

Renee read over the lyrics and couldn’t help but tear up a little. Lily heard Renee sniffle and slowly made her way over to the blonde.

“You ok, sweetie?” Lily asked as she wrapped her arms around her friend.

“Yeah, it’s just kinda sad.”

“Oh yeah, I bawled like a bitch when I first read it.” Lily admitted, giving Renee one last squeeze as before she went back to the task at hand. She frosted the cake and cut the strawberries.

“Hey, Renee? You wanna come help me decorate?”

“Absolutely!” She answered as she dipped a strawberry in the extra frosting. The two girls laughed and chatted with each other as they finished the cake.

—-

Roman and Dean sat in Dean’s apartment watching Seth pace back and forth.

“What the hell am I gonna do?! How do I break the news?!” Seth asked his friends, praying they had the answers.

“Wait, you still haven’t told her yet?!” Roman asked, feeling himself getting pissed off. He, like Seth, Dean and Renee, had grown very close to Lily and he thought of her like a little sister. He was very protective of her and he knew this would hurt her.

“I mean, she loves you, right? She should be ok with it. I mean this is our dream! Working at WWE has been our goal since we were kids!!” Dean said.

“You don’t think I know that?! Did they tell you when we need to report?! Six days, man, SIX days!! This is gonna shatter her.”

“Well you should’ve told her when we all found out two months ago, dumbass!!” Roman countered.

Seth finally sat down, putting his face in his hands. “This is gonna break her heart.” he mumbled.

Dean sighed next to Seth, “Better just treat it like a bandaid man...” just then Dean’s phone went off.

“Hey doll, what’s u- easy... Yeah, he’s here... what do you mean ‘late’?”

“OH SHIT!!! I’m supposed to be with Lily right now!! She said she had a surprise for me. DAMNIT!!” With that he hauled ass out the door.

“This is gonna blow up...” Roman said sadly.

—-

Lily sat at the table in her favorite little black dress, her hair done and makeup on, courtesy of Renee. Seth was supposed to be here over an hour ago. Was he ok? Oh gosh, what if Micah got out and did something horrible to Seth?! Just as her worse fears started to plague her mind she heard the front door open.

“Baby, I am so sorry!! I lost track of time!!” He said as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek. He closed his eyes, taking in her scent. Something he was sorely going to miss. Lily could sense something was off. He felt rigid, stressed almost. He sat down across from her and finally took in her appearance. She got all dolled up just for him.

“Wow, you look beautiful, babe.” He said with a mesmerized smile.

“Seth?”

“And this cake! It looks and smells amazing!”

“Seth?!”

“Y’know what? I’ll grab us some plates, forks and a knife and we’ll cut this bad boy up.” He said, going to stand.

“SETH!” Lily said sternly, stopping Seth in his tracks. “What’s wrong? You’ve been off these past couple days and I’m worried.”

Seth just stared at her. How did she always know what was up with him? He sighed, it was now or never. Lily could hear his fingers tapping nervously against the table, like he was fighting an internal battle in his head. She reached her hand across the table feeling for his hand, gently squeezing it when she found it.

“Seth, whatever it is, you can tell me, we’ll get through it together.” She said, giving him a reassuring smile. Placing his other hand on hers, he decided that it’s time.

“Ok.... Dean, Roman and I, um, got signed by the WWE for the NXT division so I have to drop outta college and report to WWE headquarters.” He said in one breath, dreading her reaction. She jumped up from her seat causing Seth to stand from his chair and watched her as she felt her way to him.

“THAT’S AMAZING!!! I’m so happy for you!!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck!! “Why were you so scared to tell me?!” She asked, giggling. Seth kissed her forehead before placing his on hers.

“Because... I have to leave in six days.” He felt her slightly flinch in his arms. Meanwhile, Lily felt her heart shatter and her world crumble. But she refused to be the reason he didn’t chase his dreams. No, she’ll do what she does best, support him 100%.... even if her heart was breaking on the inside. She mustn’t be selfish. She kissed his cheek and walked towards their bedroom. Seth knew he screwed the pooch by not telling her sooner. He chased after her, ready to plead, grovel and beg for her forgiveness, but to his surprise he saw her smiling, pulling clothes from his drawers.

“Um, baby, what are you doing?” He asked, still worried.

“You’ll need all your favorite clothes, not to mention we need to get you a new workout attire, these are practically threads and patches.” She said, holding up his spandex pants. Seth felt his heart race, just when he didn’t think he could love her more, she pulls something like this. He watched as she puttered around the room, gathering his things, when she walked in with a laundry basket full of clothes fresh from the dryer. She felt their fabrics, separating her clothes from his when she came across his T-shirt she was wearing earlier that day. That’s when the first tear fell. She held it close to her chest before folding it and placing it on their bed. Seth grabbed her wrist, taking the shirt from her hand.

“This is yours, babe. I want you to have it, wear it when you’re missing me.” He whispered, kissing her temple. It was then he noticed the tears in her eyes. He turned her in his arms and held her close. He knew that she was putting on a brave face for him. He didn’t deserve her, but he needed her.

—-

“I’m so scared, Renee. I feel so fearless with him. What am I gonna do by myself?” Lily said, lying next to Renee on Lily and Seth’s bed. “I mean, he’s leaving tomorrow.... oh my gosh, I must sound so selfish!! How are you doing? Are you gonna be ok with Dean leaving?!” She asked, realizing that she wasn’t the only one hurting right now. Renee snuggled closer to Lily, sad about what she was about to tell her.

“Um, I actually got a job with the WWE as well as a backstage interviewer.” She said, biting her thumb nail. Lily couldn’t help but feel like she was being left behind.

‘Don’t be a Debby Downer, little Lily.’ She could hear her mother say. She turned towards Renee and hugged her tightly.

“I’m proud of you Re-Re!! A-are you leaving with the boys?”

“I am.... I’m so sorry for not telling you earlier, I didn’t want you thinking that I’m abandoning you.” She said sadly.

“I know that! Just promise me you’ll keep in touch!”

“Always! Oh, I better get going, knowing Dean he hasn’t finished packing.” She touched Lily’s cheek. “I love you so much and will miss you like crazy.” She finished with a tight hug.

—-

The night was spent with Lily and Seth in each other’s embrace, Seth showing her how much he’ll miss her, his lips worshiping every inch of her body.

As Seth lay there sleeping in his usual position on Lily’s chest, she couldn’t sleep a wink. A small, bitter part of her wished so badly that Seth would change his mind and stay with her. Wasn’t she enough for him? Wasn’t she making him happy? She was ripped out of her selfish thoughts by a loud clap of thunder, causing her body to jolt, waking Seth. He looked up at her, cupping her cheek in his hand.

“Hey, hey, you’re ok pretty baby. It’s just a little thunder. I’ve got you.” She felt him kiss her collar bone soothingly, then falling back asleep.

She listened as the rain poured against the window. When she was certain Seth was sound asleep, she allowed her tears to fall.

Just as she was drifting to sleep she heard Seth’s alarm go off. This was it, time for her to put on her big girl panties and smile.

—-

Seth had all his things packed up in the car and was just about ready to leave. He pulled Lily into his arms, deeply kissing her.

“You have no idea how much you’ve saved me. I love you with everything inside me.” He whispered against her lips.

“I love you t-too. You make me so strong and brave. I’ll be here every s-step of the way!”

After what felt like an eternity, they finally pulled apart and Seth walked out of their, well, now her apartment. She walked into her bedroom, searching for his shirt, clutching it to her chest as if her life depended on it. Then, as if acting on their own accord, her feet carried her out the door, running after him. She ran into the rain, praying she didn’t miss him.

“SETH!” She yelled, hoping she’d hear him answer.

Seth, who was just about to shut his car door, turned at the sound of his name. He ran to meet her, clasping her arms.

“Baby, what’s wrong?!”

“Please...” she sobbed as the rain pelted her face, “don’t leave like this, s-stay with me.”

She couldn’t help but scoff at the cliche of it all. It felt like it came straight out of a sad movie, ‘girl stands in the rain in front of boy hoping she’s enough’.

She felt his lips on her forehead, a small gesture in hopes of calming her down.

“I promise I’ll stay in touch. I’ll call you every day and visit you when I’m in town.” He tells her trying desperately to reassure her that this isn’t the end of them.

She was stupid enough to believe him...

@haven-raven012591 @wrestlingfae @neversatisfiedgirl @lost-in-the-stories @calwitch @team-elias @panda-girl1999

[unlikely--lovers]

Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow If I could hold you for One hour more

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Missed Connections ~ Steve Rogers x Reader College!AU (Part 2/7)

A/N: Hi my lovelies! Happy weekend! I decided to continue this one and it refused to be put second to Primary Colors lol. Just kidding I’ve been writing both but this one got finished first so I figured I’d share. Enjoy! 

Summary: It’s been a whole semester of missed connections with Steve, will you talk to him before you head home for break? 

Characters/Pairings: Eventual Steve x Reader, Natasha, Pepper, Bruce, Tony, Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Thor, Clint and Vision mentioned (like I said, the whole gang) 

Rating: T (minor language) 

Warnings: Nothing really 

Word count: 2013 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

“I’m loving the earmuff and peacoat combo, y/n.”

“Thanks,” You smiled at Wanda as you waited for the subway.

“I’m partial to the pompom hat look,” Natasha grinned.

“I didn’t want to mess up my hair,” you admitted.

“Hoping to run into somebody?” Tony asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

You glared at Pepper’s boyfriend who shrugged as he held her hand. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

Tony had been extremely amused when he heard about your “ships in the night” romance as he liked to call it. And he took every opportunity to tease you about it.  

“If you run into him today, will you please talk to him?” Pepper begged.

Your friends had been pressuring you to strike up a conversation all semester, but so far you had only managed to smile and wave (which you considered an accomplishment). The conversation was interrupted when the subway arrived and you all hurried in. Luckily the car was almost empty so you sat on either side of the aisle.

“So? Will you?” Tony prompted.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Come on, running into him on campus is one thing. Running into him roaming around the city is a sign.”

“Okay, maybe it’s a sign,” you conceded. “If I see him tonight, I’ll go say hi.”

Your friends cheered, excited you were finally going to take a leap.

“How come it wasn’t a sign when we saw him at the museum?”

“Bruce!” you hissed.

“Wait, wait, wait. You saw him at the museum?”

You sighed and glared at Bruce before answering.

“We may have passed each other when we were roaming through the modern art wing.”

“And the Aztec wing, and the China wing,” Bruce added unhelpfully.

“So that’s why you were so happy when you got back. I assumed you just really liked art.”

You rolled your eyes at Pepper’s observation.

“That boy’s face is art,” Wanda sighed wistfully.

“Forget about his face. His ass is art.” Nat winked at you and you flushed scarlet.

It was a relief when you finally got to the tree lighting, because your friend’s were too busy enjoying the holiday cheer to rag on you. The six of you roamed around, popping into stores to do some holiday shopping.

The rest of your friends went to stake out a good spot to watch the tree lighting from while you purchased the ornaments you had picked out for your parents. By the time you had made it through the line, the marketplace was filled to the brim and you had no idea where your friends were.

When none of them answered your calls or texts you decided to just weave through the crowd towards the front. You had made it about twenty feet when you saw him. He and his friends stood well above most of the crowd and even in the chaos his laugh was recognizable.

You froze. He hadn’t seen you yet and you still had no idea where your friends were. You could either walk towards him and hope he noticed you or you could walk the total opposite direction. Before you could make your decision you heard Nat yell your name.

You finally spotted your friends standing on the stone wall that surrounded one of the trees. You caught her eye and waved and started weaving through the crowd. Once you had fought your way through to them you eyed the two foot wall warily.

“Get up here, y/n!”

You planted your foot on the wall and pushed with all of your might but it wasn’t quite enough and you were quickly falling backwards. Before you could hit the ground though, a pair of hands grabbed you and pulled you up.

“Thanks, Bruce.”

“No problem. You alright?’ He asked still holding onto your hands.

You nodded and self-consciously fixed your jacket as you glanced at your friends. Clint and Viz had joined the group so everyone was paired off except for you and Bruce. You and he shared a wry smile as you stood together.

Tony had tried to set you up on multiple occasions. And Bruce was a good friend but you just weren’t attracted to him. Besides he had a massive crush on this girl, Betty, in your bio lecture. Still more often than not you were the awkward single friends together. It was a comfortable arrangement, so it was no surprise when he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you wrapped yours around his waist.

As you listened to the last few performers before the tree was lit, your eyes scanned the crowd. You easily spotted Steve and his friends. They were all looking at you, but before you could smile and wave, they abruptly turned around and you frowned.

Hoping it was just a coincidence you focused on the music and the lights. It really was beautiful. Once the crowd thinned after the tree was lit, your group made your way to the front to take pictures. Once Tony started formulating plans to steal an ornament off the tree that was surrounded by security guards, you all decided it was time to go.

When you got back to your dorm you passed Steve on the way to the elevator and smiled and waved, but his return smile was just a bit dimmer than normal. You wanted to say something but before you had the chance he was gone.

You didn’t have time to look for or even really think about Steve in the following week. You were in the Science building by five a.m. every morning and you left long after midnight. You pretty much only came out to take your exams.  

By the time you finished your last final (you had the last exam slot in the entire week, naturally) you were exhausted and all you wanted was food and your bed. You groaned internally when you walked into the dining hall and realized they had closed the majority of it since most people had headed home.

You unenthusiastically loaded your plate with pizza and grabbed a drink before trying to find a seat. Clearly the dining hall had overestimated how many people would leave early for the holidays because every chair was taken and every booth was filled. You made one final loop before spotting an empty chair at a corner table, a table full of Steve’s friends, although he was nowhere in sight.

You took a deep breath and forced yourself to walk over to them. You felt like there was lead in your stomach as you approached the rambunctious table.

They abruptly stopped talking when they noticed you.

“Hi,” you squeaked out. “Do you mind if I borrow that chair?”

There weren’t really any open tables but you could just sit in a corner somewhere.

“Why don’t you just join us?” The dark haired boy who you saw Steve with most often offered.

“I don’t want to bother you,” you shook you head slightly.

He grinned and you knew immediately he was aware of how charming he was.  

“You’re not, doll. I promise.”

“Well, thank you. I’m y/n by the way.”

“Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”  

You slid into the open chair and took a sip of your water as the other two guys introduced themselves. Their names were Thor and Sam.

“So, y/n, what’s your major?” Sam asked.

“General biology. For now,” you added before biting into your pizza.  

“Are you thinking about changing?”  

“Probably not changing, but I might specialize. What about you guys?”

“Poli Sci and Econ,” Thor reported. “Kind of a family thing.”

He didn’t sound thrilled and you nodded understandingly.

“I’m a psych major. And Bucky’s an engineer,” he added elbowing him when he noticed his friend was busy texting.

“What?” he looked up suddenly. “Yeah. Engineer.”

“I’ve seen you around the science building,” you admitted nonchalantly.

You so desperately wanted to ask about Steve but you didn’t want to be creepy. They all smirked though at your comment. Obviously you hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Stevie and I have seen you around too.”

“Oh is he an engineer too?”

Bucky snorted slightly.

“No. He’ll probably be bio. He’s pushing off declaring an actual major until the last possible second. Aka May of this year. But he is pre-med. Which is why we’re taking orgo right now. Actually, I think we have orgo with your boyfriend.”

You gave him a confused look.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Sam and Thor looked smug and Bucky looked relieved.

“Really? Dark-haired, glasses, really smart.”

It clicked then.

“Oh you mean, Bruce.”

“Yeah. Him.”

“We’re not dating,” You chuckled. “We’re just the only single friends in our group so we get shoved together all the time.”  

“Got it.”

After a moment of awkward silence, you asked about their plans for break.

“Sleeping. And eating home cooked meals,” Bucky grinned.

“Sounds about right,” you agreed.

“Excuse me. I’ve got to make a call.”

You smiled and turned your attention to Sam and Thor.

“What about you two?”

They were both going to spend some time hitting the slopes and their conversation quickly devolved into an argument about which snow conditions were the best. You used the distraction to finally scarf down the pizza.

When you glanced at your watch you realized that it was after nine and you still had to pack for your five a.m. flight.

“It was really nice meeting you both. I hope you have a great winter break.”

“You’re leaving?” Thor asked, disappointed.  

“I’ve got to pack. I need to be at the airport in a few hours.”

“Well, have a great break. I’m sure we’ll see you around.”

“Say bye to Bucky for me.”

You quickly dumped your dishes on the conveyor belt and exited the dining hall. You were waiting for the elevator when the fact that you were done finally hit you and you started to do a little happy dance. You weren’t expecting the doors to slide open to reveal a yawning Steve as you were doing said happy dance.

“Just finish finals?” he asked, clearly trying to hold back laughter.

“That obvious?” you asked as you switched places in the elevator.

You were surprised your voice came out as steady as it did, considering most of your brain was cataloguing what he looked after a nap (you suspected). His hair was stuck up at odd angles and he was wearing plaid pajama bottoms and a half-zipped hoodie without anything under it. Your imagination was having a field day.  

He shrugged. “That’s a classic post finals happy dance.”

The elevator started dinging angrily for you to either get in or out at the same time his phone started ringing.

“See ya. Have a good break,” you said quickly before hitting the button for your floor.

“You too. Oh, wait.”

He started to say something else but the doors closed before he got it out. You leaned against the wall heavily as you giggled to yourself. You were slightly mortified but mostly you were just giddy.

As you were waiting to board your plane, your phone vibrated twice. Once for a facebook notification and once for a text from the group chat you had with the girls.

You opened the facebook notification first. It was a tag from Natasha in another Missed Connections post.

MC#578: To the beautiful y/h/c girl who I (still) see all the time. I finally got to talk to you tonight but I was too flustered by your killer post finals happy dance that I didn’t manage to catch your name. But I’m still calling it progress. Next time maybe I’ll manage to introduce myself. But for now thanks for ending my semester on a high note. Have a great break. See you in January.

You covered your mouth as you tried to suppress the giddiness that was rising. When you managed to get it under control you opened the text. It was a one word command from Nat.

Natasha (4:15AM): SPILL!

Unfortunately for her that would have to wait until you landed.

A/n: So there you go. A little bit more fluff. I am going to continue this story. I have like three more parts planned so let me know if you want to be tagged! As always thanks for reading and feedback is appreciated! 

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[imagineclaireandjamie]

Fast Forward.

Previous part: HERE.

wecouldhangout said:  Love this variation of Jamie and Claire. Don’t let it fall by the wayside.

:: <3 ::

The bright lights of Inverness city faded in the rear view mirror as Raymond drove Claire home. Neither of them spoke, the taint of the evening coating the inside of Claire’s mouth as houses blurred into trees as they passed over the river Ness and out towards Drumnadrochit.

“How did you know where I’d be?” Claire whispered, plucking at the sewn pattern along the hem of the skirt she’d borrowed from Jenny. Tears welled in her eyes as she caught the torn portion of the fabric, vivid memories of her illicit night out coming unbidden as she did so.

“Some things, my dear,” he began --cryptically, “are more obvious than you give them credit for.”

Sniffling, Claire leaned her head against the cold glass, watching as her breath steamed the window - fogging the blue scenery as Loch Ness came into view. Shaking his head, Raymond slowed down, pulling the car into a parking spot overlooking the glorious loch. The moonlight glimmered off the water as he turning the ignition off and shifted in his seat, the fine leather squeaking beneath him as he moved. His hand hovered over Claire’s briefly as he coughed, waiting for her to acknowledge him before he spoke.

“I’m so--”

“No, Claire. You don’t need to apologise to me,” he interrupted, his voice soft as her glassy eyes looked over at his in the dark car. “But you do need to understand something of importance.”

Swallowing back the excess moisture that had gathered in her mouth, Claire nodded, fatigue pulsing through her achy bones.

Having firmly settled herself to 20th century highland life, Claire’s lust for adventure had intensified. When a few of the local lassies had spoken of a bawdy dance being held in Inverness, Claire had been excited. She’d enjoyed staying with Jenny, Ian and Jamie at Lallybroch and their rural lifestyle had been something to which she’d grown accustomed to. But the stories she heard at work kept floating around her head.

The girls often indulged her, talking of the loud hum of the music, the busy pubs that entertained them over the weekends and the men who took them drinking and dancing. The war and the return of the soldiers had signalled a revival of an active social life and Claire was desperate to see how people her age socialised in the 1940’s. Licking her dry lips, Claire tasted the blood from where they’d cracked, the skin breaking apart easily with the stress of her illicit night out. Goaded on by her *friends*, she’d begged Jamie to let her go, promising she’d be back at a reasonable hour. Worried about her safety, and her naivety, Jamie had rejected her ideas, his solid stance on the matter irking Claire no end.

Fed up of being babied, she’d snuck out. Carrying her plimsolls in one hand, she’d crept out of the big house and along the lane, catching the last bus from Beauly to Inverness. Balling her hands into fists, Claire pulled her feet up onto the passenger seat and wrapped her arms around her scuffed knees.

She --had-- been naive. And foolhardy. Stupid to think she could blend in when she still knew so little of the people who inhabited this particular time period.

“Is he mad?” She whispered, her curls falling forward to cover her tear-stained cheeks.

Exhaling loudly, Raymond patted Claire gently on the shoulder. His knee jingled the keys where they sat, idle in the ignition and the sound broke some of the tension that had built in the small space.

“I think it’s time for me to be honest with you, Claire,” Raymond said, ignoring her original question, his pupils dilated in the low light.

Wiping her eyes, Claire nodded shakily. Making herself comfortable, she pulled the thin cardigan across her chest feeling more exposed than ever after her run in earlier.

Twirling the bronze ring around his pinkie finger, Raymond looked out behind Claire, into the abyss that surrounded them, steeling himself for his confession.

“I brought you here, Claire,” He began, waiting as Claire processed his words.

“H-here…?” She questioned, the skin puckering between her brows as she tried to make sense of what he was telling her.

“Yes, Claire.” Nodding, he lifted his finger, moving away a stray piece of Claire’s hair as she tilted her head to the side. “It was always your destiny. Why do you think I employed you, kept you close by and tried my very best to keep you out of danger?”

His French accent softened the ‘r’, coming through more strongly in his heightened emotional state. He’d made an investment in Claire. Seeing her suffering in her own time, he’d watched as her fate changed from day to day until he’d decided the only thing to do was to intervene himself.

“Is that why you told me to stay?” Gulping, her heart pounded out an erratic rhythm in response, “all those times you hinted that this was my rightful place, that Jamie and Jenny were supposed to look out for me. That was because y-you...knew?”

“Yes,” he replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I wasn’t sure how much I should tell you. When we first met,” he chuckled, recalling her arrival into his wee apothecary, “you were so...captivated by everything. So timid and yet courageous.”

“Can you --travel?” She interjected, feeling altogether exposed in the face of the vocal admittance of her journey through time.

Eying her carefully, Raymond raised a brow sardonically.

Understanding his apprehension, Claire nodded.

Seeing it as her permission to continue, Raymond turned back to look straight out of the front window. Lights flashed and disappeared as other late night travellers roamed in and out of Inverness. The hum of them passing soothed him like nothing else, the soft swish cars made as they passed each other at speed creating this odd illusion of peacefulness.

“You and I, Claire, are inextricably linked. Something far more powerful than us holds pieces of our souls together. I don’t know how I truly discovered it, but when your parents died -- that horrid disease taking them both and leaving you all alone in the world -- I suddenly became hyper aware of you.”

“D-did you live close?” Claire asked, unable to keep silent through Raymond’s story.

“No, I did not. I was in Paris at the time. I had a shop there too, in your own time.” Taking hold of the steering wheel, Raymond glanced back to Claire, watching as she kept her focus solely on the dashboard now. “I foresaw something, --someone-- *you*”

Inhaling, Claire began to wind the window, breathing in another fresh gulp of air as if feeling suffocated.

“You saw Captain Randall?”

“Yes.” He confessed, feeling wretched that he hadn’t made a single attempt to rescue her from that particular cruelty. “I saw him...and you. I felt the blackness within him and the impenetrable light in you.”

“He offered to save me from it, you know.” She spoke, her voice empty of all emotion.

Raymond watched as the glow faded from Claire’s eyes, numbness seeping over her face as if she were back there, her hands bound uncomfortably as Randall laid out his dark plans for her.

“Then you were wise enough not to accept.”

Scoffing, Claire shifted her back against the seat, old wounds itching with the memory the punish lash as it bit into her fragile flesh. “It wouldn’t have mattered what I’d done. He would have still dragged me out into that square, just for the sick pleasure of it.” She spat, vitriol coating her tongue as she spoke.

The sinister image of the vile men who’d grabbed at her earlier rose behind her irises as she remembered her time incarcerated in Fort William. Bile erupted from her stomach, causing her to inhale sharply as the feel of their wretched hands against her legs caused her thighs to tighten. What had started out as innocent flirting, a dance here and there and some idle banter had turned nasty quickly. A tall brunette male, whose name Claire couldn’t quite recall now in the post-evening haze had pushed her into a dark corner, his dirty great paws tearing at her borrowed dress as she’d tried to push him away. If it hadn’t been for Raymond’s swift intervention…

Claire stilled, pushing away the combined image of the man in the bar and Randall as she tried to calm her pounding heart and refocus her energy on the present.

Keeping his mouth shut on the matter of Captain Jack Randall *and* tonight's new assailant, Raymond continued with his own diatribe. “I orchestrated a plot to save you the most dire fate, Claire. I hadn’t counted on Captain Randall being as devious as he was, but once I knew what was to befall you I had to step in. Had you not been tempted to steal that bread, you would’ve ended up here on your own merit of course, I just aided the process once fate had been changed.”

“So, you saw…”

“Yes, but too late to save you from the flogging.” He said with some regret. “I could, however, ensure your easy escape from Fort William.”

“Easy,” Claire whispered, nervously tapping her foot on the mud-mat at her feet.

“You know how I mean it, my dear. I only knew that you had the strength to bear it. Some things I can see, others I can only feel. It’s hard to explain, but I will try if you wish to hear it?”

Shaking her head, Claire wiggled her bottom in the seat, the numb sensation fading from her extremities as the inky blackness over the loch began to slowly fade. Dawn was approaching.

“No, it’s alright. I --believe you.”

Slumping his shoulders, Raymond watched the soft dappled light sway over the water and started the engine up once more.

“What I truly wanted to impress upon you, Claire,” he finished making his point entirely clear as he pulled back onto the road, eager to get her back to Jamie and Jenny now the main part of his tale was done, “is that although it may seem safer here, there are still dangers lurking. I made damn sure you got where you needed to be, and it doesn’t matter what it cost me to ascertain it, I would pay that price time and time again. But,” he paused, glancing at Claire out of the corner of his eye to make sure she was listening, “since you seem keen on attracting all sorts of strife, I think you need to be reminded of the perils you experienced and how they might manifest in this era.”

Her heart plummeted in her chest at the realisation. Actions had consequences, she had been incredibly aware of that before. Since finding herself here, those worries had all but dissipated on the cool Scottish winds. Wanderlust had replaced her well trained sense of jeopardy, slowly extinguishing it completely.

She’d been wooed by visions of modern living whilst not truly accepting the underlying threats that still loomed over them all.

“Would I…” she sighed, part of her not wanting to know the answer, “would I have died in those cells, in Fort William?”

“Yes,” Raymond replied, the whir of the engine rolling through him, masking the shudder that slipped like ice down his spine at the vision of her cold on the slabs of that awful place.

Silence surrounded them as they rode the rest of the way in the dim light of early morning.

Claire bounced nervously as the porch light of Lallybroch came into view, her palms sweating at the idea of having to face Jamie. Emotionally spent, she had little energy left to deal with his anger but she knew that it was what she deserved.

They’d been up all night too, no doubt. Only weeks before Jenny and Ian’s wedding, Claire was certain this was a stress none of them needed.

The acrid taste of beer lingered at the back of her throat as the car came to a standstill, its stale odour coating the roof of her mouth as she practiced her apology, mumbling incoherent words as she tried not to break down before she’d even come face to face with the Frasers.

“T-thank you, Raymond,” she whispered, reaching out to tap his hand twice before clicking open the door and putting one shaky foot onto the cement path, “for absolutely everything you’ve ever done for me.”

Not waiting for his reply, Claire pulled herself from the vehicle and made her way around the bonnet towards the front door.

Hearing the click rather than being brave enough to look up and see who’d come out to welcome her, Claire slunk forwards until his feet came into view. Standing stock still now, she kept her eyes stubbornly downcast.

Pursing his lips in suppressed anger, Jamie’s flushed cheeks stung in the breeze as he let out a huge breath and wrapped his arms around Claire, bringing her flush against his chest. Rubbing his large palms in circles over her back -being careful not to knock her still sore scabs - he buried his nose into her tamed curls and closed his eyes.

“I’m so --sorry-- Jamie.” She hiccupped, her ribs throbbing as she tried to hold back her sobs.

“I thought I’d lost ye tonight, Claire,” he whispered, hopelessness dripping from each word as he tried to still his trembling hands. “When I went to see you and you werena there…” inhaling jaggedly, Jamie tried to remain calm. Shouting at her wouldn’t do any of them any good. The attempts to subdue his temper caused his Scots burr to thicken, his chest rumbled with the pressure of it sending shockwaves through Claire as she huddled closer.

“I won’t...next time, I’ll listen, I promise,” she cried openly now, her shoulders hunched as she shifted her feet and clenched Jamie’s shirt tight.

“Ye ken, Claire,” Jamie replied, turning them both towards the house and warmth, “that I’m only trying to keep you safe. I want you to have fun, aye? But I also only want what is best for you.” Pausing as he closed the door behind them, he slid his fingers under her damp chin, bringing her head up so that she was forced to meet his eyes.

Biting her bottom lip, Claire blinked away fresh tears and hiccuped. Her nose was red from the crying, her eyes wide and sore as she finally looked at Jamie. Thick lines creased his brow, accenting the bright red that stained his eyelids. Bags sat heavily under his eyes. He looked shattered.

The tickling sensation of fresh sobs bit at her nose as she saw what her evening's misadventures had done to the one person in this world who cared for her and her well being above all else.

“You’re verra precious to me, Claire,” he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers before gathering her up once more. “When I found you, broken and bleeding on that wee hill, I didna ken why, but I felt it then. I feel it now more than ever.”

Gasping between her weeping, Claire nodded as she burrowed her nose against Jamie’s neck, the bright glow of the table lamp encasing them in a yellow hue. “S-same,” she forced out, fatigue pulling her under as Jamie carried her up to bed, “...and I’m s-so sorry, Jamie. So very sorry.”

Placing her gently on the bed, Jamie tried to disentangle himself, his arms nearly slipping free as he reached to turn off the light in the attic.

“Stay,” Claire whispered. Her voice, a wisp in the darkness, held only innocence as she begged quietly for Jamie to lie beside her. “Please, Jamie. Just for tonight...stay?”