#“I wage my war on the world inside/I take my gun to the enemy's side”

[syxnewt]

Imagine Dragons songs I know related vaguely to Valorant Agents

Not everyone has one cuz idk that many

Chamber - Enemy [vibes] and Bones [I'm in the bathroom looking at me/face in the mirror is all i need]

Viper - Natural [Cuz you're a natural/living your life cutthroat/you gotta be so cold/to make it in this world]

Neon - Whatever It Takes [Whatever it takes/cuz i love the adrenaline in my veins/I do whatever it takes/cuz i love how it feels when i break the chains]

KAY/O - Radioactive [vibes]

Omen - Demons [vibes. i like to imagine him listening and being like "it's just like me fr!"] and Believer [PAIIIINN OH LET THE BULLETS FLY OH LET THEM RAIIIIN MY LIFE MY LOVE MY DRIVE IT CAME FROm/ PAIN] [basically he feels like an oh the agony type of guy]

Phoenix - Thunder [Who do you think you are?/dreaming 'bout being a big star]

Cypher - Bad Liar [too many lyrics to list tbh] ["it's just like me fr!"]

[omittedlies]

tag dump

[shannara810]

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year

And terrors don't prey on

Innocent victims

Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

It's been a loveless year

I'm a man of three fears

Integrity, faith and

Crocodile tears

Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

I wish I could escape

I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it

Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go (go)

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?

Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?

Oh, I've been askin'

Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy's side

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

I wish I could escape

I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it

Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

That I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be

I can't be what you want me to be

Believe me, this one time

Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

That I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go

Oh

Please believe me

Please believe me

[bleakyblues]

i talked about how Bad Liar reminded me of Kinn and I have been listening to that song on repeat since then and I'm going a bit mental about the lyrics cuz this???

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy's side

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

I wish I could escape

I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it

Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

That I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go

Dammit.

[alphaaspace]

Lines

Sometimes songs lyrics could affect hardly on you!

And as a young child who loved listening to music so badly, I didn't even give the lyrics that importance, the only attention was on the joy that the song gave me.

But now after the world had started to become blue, lyrics start to shine as a bullet in that sky ..

" I wage my war on the world inside, I take my gun to the enemy's side "

" You say you are Basic, you say you are Easy, you always standing at the back seat .. But now I am smiling at the stage while you are clapping at the nosebleed "

- Imagine dragons

" They say the time suppose to heal you, but I have done much heal "

" When we were younger .. and free "

" I am being cruel to be kind "

- Adele

[transrevolutions]

hi 💕

the song + lyric thing for

ava

teresa (i remember the imagine dragons song well, but maybe there’s something else)

gally

(and ik there‘s one for thomas you sent in that ask, but i forget the name 🙈)

sorry this took so long! I was rotating it in my brain.

ava: did it cross your mind to be slightly sorry / do you even care that you might be wrong (good for you- dear evan hansen)

teresa: I wage my war on the world inside / I take my gun to the enemy's side / all I've been asking / all I've been asking / for problems (bad liar- imagine dragons)

gally: all the lines we knew back then / they all are faded / all the laws we once obeyed / they have betrayed us (forgive the children we once were- delta rae)

(the song for thomas was rat by penelope scott, but I think believer by imagine dragons also suits him!)

[thumbbeforefingermusicaltaste]

Imagine Dragons - Bad Liar

LYRICS

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year And terrors don't prey on Innocent victims Trust me, darling, trust me darling It's been a loveless year I'm a man of three fears Integrity, faith and Crocodile tears Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes Tell me what you see Perfect paradise Tearing at the seams I wish I could escape I don't wanna fake it Wish I could erase it Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go (go)

Did all my dreams never mean one thing? Does happiness lie in a diamond ring? Oh, I've been askin' Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems I wage my war, on the world inside I take my gun to the enemy's side Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling) Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling) Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes Tell me what you see Perfect paradise Tearing at the seams I wish I could escape I don't wanna fake it Wish I could erase it Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know That I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be I can't be what you want me to be Believe me, this one time Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know That I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go

Oh Please believe me Please believe me

[witheredrose-s]

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy’s side

Imagine Dragons - Bad Liar

[themaybewoman]

[ Kid Reverse AU ] — Alt. Timeline with Another Eobard.

I wage my war, on the world inside I take my gun to the enemy's side Oh, I’ve been asking for problems

[lokisbeautifulangel]

Hey everyone I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much, it’s been difficult year, I hope you are all stay safe and taking great! Care of yourselfs!, continue to stay strong and carry on, I’m so proud of everyone 🖤🖤🥺☺️, I came across this specific song/ lyrics that just Described everything to me so well, I hope you enjoy and to helps you as much as it as me. 😊

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year

And terrors don't prey on

Innocent victims

Trust me, darling, trust me darling

It's been a loveless year

I'm a man of three fears

Integrity, faith and

Crocodile tears

Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

I wish I could escape

I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it

Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go (go)

Did all my dreams never mean one thing? Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?

Oh, I've been askin'

Oh, I've been askin' for problems, problems, problems

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy's side

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling)

Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams

I wish I could escape

I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it

Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

That I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be

I can't be what you want me to be

Believe me, this one time

Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know

Now you know

That I'm a bad liar, bad liar

Now you know, you're free to go

Oh

Please believe me

Please believe me

-Imagine Dragons

Bad Liar.

[youvegotrpmemes]

‘Bad Liar’ & ‘Birds’ - Imagine Dragons

-may be edited for clarity or to better fit rping

Bad Liar

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year

Trust me, darlin'

It’s been a loveless year

I'm a man of three fears: integrity, faith, and crocodile tears

So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see 

I wish I could escape it, I don't wanna fake it

Wish I could erase it, make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar

Now you know I’m a bad liar

Now you know, you’re free to go

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?

Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?

Oh, I’ve been askin' for problems

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy's side

I can't breathe

I can't be what you want me to be

Believe me, this one time

Please believe me

Birds

Life will make you grow

Dreams will make you cry

Everything is temporary

Everything will slide

Love will never die

I hope to see you again

Some nights I think of you

Relivin' the past, wishin' it'd last

Death can make you hard

I'm flyin' up to let you see that the shadow cast is me

[lovevejoy]

Talon Theories | 🎆

Hey! So I was scrolling through the comments on the new origin story video— which was amazing and I'm so freaking excited for more Talon and Overwatch lore— and I saw some pretty interesting ideas and suggestions! So I thought I'd show the comments and give some commentary, and at the end of this post I'm going to add some speculations on the current status of all the Talon members!

Alright, first some hidden details in the video!

This was pretty cool, I relistened and definitely heard Widow's gun going off. This leads into some other theories I'll show in a minute!

I didn't actually do this, but a lot of other comments were confirming this fact. I think that's a pretty awesome small detail!

So that's all I noticed from the comments as small details, but here are some interesting theories I'd like to mention:

The idea of Sigma having multiple personalities is interesting. I personally think that Talon grabbed him from where he was being held and Talon took advantage of his moments of weakness from his discoveries and experience in the black hole, effectively manipulating him. But maybe he isn't being as affected by Talon and instead the aggressive side of his personalities is trying to gain more control after everything he went through and being "rescued" by Talon? It's something to consider, and it'd be an interesting plot!

This is probably my favorite one. I love the idea of him being stuck in a state similar to Tracer's, but he has completely solid forms all doing things at once. The theory would play out like this:

His suit is similar to Tracer's chronal accelerator, he wears it when goes out for missions and it keeps his conciseness stabilized in one body so he can focus. However, when he takes it off, he is suddenly trying to live in all of his presences and that's a way Talon manages to keep control of him. So he chooses to wear their suit and work with Moira or the other agents.

He'd get this suit from Moira. In game interactions, she's shown interest in Tracer's technology. They have a voice interaction that goes:

Moira: Your state of chronal uncertainty is fascinating to me Tracer, I do wish you would allow me to study you.

Tracer: While I'm truly touched by your offer *sarcastic laugh* I think I'll have to pass.

So without the ability to study Tracer's condition, she turns to the next best thing: Sombra's translator (Sombra stole the technology from Winston, so the design and function is familiar to Tracer's, confirmed by Lena herself). Moira gets enough information and is able to design the suit and (either befor or after it's completed) Reaper, Widow, and possibly Moira herself goes to retrieve Sigma from where he's being held.

Sigma is allowed to research and use Talon's resources for his studies, and he quickly finds ways to control his levitation abilities.

This theory would also make sense game-wise, too. I watched a video where someone proposed the idea Sigma could create a clone of himself. If he has three or two presences in the lore, in the game it would make sense! The clone would act as a decoy and stalling tool as it would try to get the enemy team to waste cool downs and could even contest the point, like Bob or how Sombra could before her invisibility was changed.

I think it's most likely he'll just have multiple personalities, probably two, or just be under Talon's control but I still love this idea!

Finally, I'm just going to give a quick summary of what I think Talon is like right now.

Doomfist is set on waging war and doing everything he can to make things worse in the world. He's getting a little more paranoid of double agents and spies however, so he's trying to do things quietly. There are certain people who he doesn't trust but needs, so he's playing it by year and monitoring Overwatch and Volskya closely, as well as handling any extremely important work by himself.

Reaper is pretty hard to speak for. I think at this point, his storyline could go two ways. One, Reaper is following Doomfist closely and hunting down and killing former Overwatch agents. We don't know if he's actually killing them, but in past comics and animated shorts when he's had the opportunity to kill he hasn't. So he's either being petty and not returning to the other side OR he's actively working on collapsing Talon. There are plenty of other theories about Reaper betraying them out there, but my personal favorites are he's working with Widowmaker and Sombra to help Widow escape and destroy Talon. Another idea is that maybe Talon has done something to him to, or threatened him in some way. But I think he's not exactly in the morally gray area, but not as evil as Doomfist.

Widowmaker is starting to feel again. We know from the comic 'Reflections' she can feel sadness, maybe guilt or remorse. She's standing over her dead husband's grave. Is whatever they've done to her just wearing off? I think she's growing immune to the reconditioning, and/or Sombra is messing with the results of tests or whatever technology they've surely implanted inside of her. Either way, she's most likely scared. She's probably worried on blowing her/their cover, or maybe she doesn't want to feel. Wouldn't it be better to not feel anything over deaths you've caused than live with the guilt?

Sombra is obviously only using Talon for their resources. We knew that since the day they revealed her at Blizzcon. The theory that she's working with Reaper and Widow comes up because we believe she's working with Reyes. On Oasis, they have a interaction where Sombra asks something like, What are we doing here, Boss? to Reaper. So they're most likely working together a step further than just a Talon mission. We don't actually know if Sombra is aware Doomfist knows she is likely planning to betray him and that he knows what she pulled in Russia. If she and Reaper were actually working together, he'd probably tell her. She's probably seen as a risk by the majority of the Inner Council (especially Sanjay, given her history with large companies that are corrupted ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) so she better watch her back and not get cocky.

And finally, Moira is in Talon for the resources, but she's definitely evil. She'll do anything to gain knowledge and reach her goals. I don't have much to say about her, except she probably doesn't care about all the politics surrounding the Inner Council and Doomfist's plans, rather she just wants to learn new things and study. She's probably going to be studying Sigma and talking with him a lot, after all they just saved him from a Testing Facility.

So those are my notes and theories for Sigma and the future of Talon! I'm really excited to see their storyline play out and this is my first time being apart of the game when a new character gets added, so I'm hyped!

Please let me know your theories in the comments! I really want to know what y'all think! Have a great day! 💕

[fc5holidayexchange]

Far Cry 5 Holiday Exchange 2019 Fic

“it’s just a matter of time until we’re all found out” Female Deputy/John Seed @unclefungusthegoat Here’s my gift for the exchange! I had a ton of fun working on it- especially in trying to keep the Deputy generic while writing her as a person. I hope the formatting’s okay- tumblr has a tendency to wreck my posts. Deputy/John Seed, enemies to friends to lovers, alcohol use, mentions of abuse, secret love affair 

John Seed’s grave is a simple one. There are no flowers or adornments, just his name crookedly scratched into a wooden cross. The Deputy thinks she might be the only one who visits, thinks she might be the only one who understands that John Seed was more than the monster they wanted to make him out to be. Knows that the Resistance, or what was left of it, would never forgive her if they’d know how carefully she’d crafted the simple grave or how often her feet kept coming back, let alone the other things she’d done after she’d stepped into this strange, new world.

Even now. Even years after the Collapse, when Joseph was holed up with his New Eden and she’d stopped being known as Deputy and started being known as Judge before she abandoned even that. 

She’s never admitted that she wears the Judge’s mask even now to keep from having to look them in the eye. Pastor Jerome, the Rye family…she knows none of them would understand. It just makes it all the more bitter, really. They had been friends, once. Some of them still thought they were. 

She doesn’t even think Joseph knows where the grave is. She’d never told him, down in the bunker, and he’d never asked to see it. —

Their first meeting, off the record as it was, had been an accident. There was a spot, in the woods of the Holland Valley, with an old two-room cabin. It was shabby and old, falling apart even then. The Deputy hadn’t had the faintest clue about fixing one up so all she’d managed to do was patch the roof to keep the rain off of her when she went there to hide. 

And hide she did, with all the whiskey bottles she could carry. There was something especially soothing about sitting in that rickety old rocker on the porch, watching it rain a few feet away from her, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a bottle of whiskey or vodka or scotch or whatever else she could find cradled in her hands. 

She hadn’t realized she wasn’t the only one who visited the cabin. She’d been sitting there one day, watching the rain. The whiskey bottle had been mostly forgotten- she wasn’t even tipsy yet. And then, out of the woods, came John Seed, his jacket pulled over his head to try to keep the rain off. 

He didn’t notice her until he was standing on that rickety old porch, shrugging out of that coat of his. She just stared at him, fingers curled loosely around the neck of the bottle she was holding. And he’d just stared at her, like he couldn’t quite believe who he was looking at. 

And then, instead of a white flag, she’d held out the bottle of whiskey, and he’d taken it, wordlessly. He’d sat down in the other rickety old rocker, pulled it closer so they could pass the drink back and forth between them, and they’d sat in silence until it stopped raining. 

Neither of them really drank much, though.

—

Their second meeting had also been accidental. This time, John had already been there when the Deputy arrived, half out of breath from the hike there. He’d given her a nod of acknowledgement and after a moment she seated herself in her usual rocker. 

She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she remembers waking up with a blanket draped across her and John Seed’s jacket folded under her head like a pillow. 

—

They don’t speak until their fourth meeting together. It is far too cold, that night, for them to sit outside, and so when John had arrived at the cabin, she was inside, putting wood into the old fireplace. Wordlessly, John had knelt down beside her and started helping. 

Half an hour later, they are sitting on the blankets in front of the roaring fire. The Deputy had given up the alcohol she used to carry, had turned it all into molotovs to burn the shrines littered around. Instead, she’s picked up smoking. It gives her something to do with her hands when the silence is overwhelming and when she mindlessly offers the cigarette to John he takes a drag before passing it back. 

And just like that they’re sharing a cigarette and watching the fire dance. It is quiet and peaceful and they have both forgotten, for the moment, that there is a veritable war waging in Hope County. 

“Why?” John asks, after the cigarette has burned down and she’d snuffed it out on the old wood floor. 

He doesn’t specify, but she doesn’t need him to. 

“I give so much to the Resistance. I understand why they need it- Joseph…look, I know he’s your brother, but he doesn’t give people a choice and I can’t let him get away with it. Everyone deserves a choice on their own terms. But…there’s only so much I can give before there’s nothing left,” she says, and from the way John shifts and pulls his blanket tighter around him, she knows he understands.

“It’s why I come here,” he says, and then they’re silent until the fire burns out and she gets up to leave. 

—

Days pass before they see each other again. After a particularly difficult outpost that she finally liberated, she retreats to the little cabin to lick her wounds. 

She didn’t want the Resistance or the Peggies to see her hurt. To see her weak. She doesn’t think about why she comes here, to this particular little cabin where she knows John Seed comes. 

Instead, she starts to methodically start a fire and put an old dented bucket full of water over it to boil. She doesn’t think- and desperately hopes she won’t- need stitches. The bullets had only grazed her side and while it hurt like a bitch it wouldn’t kill her. Probably. 

Hopefully. 

She’s in the middle of cleaning it when she hears the front porch creak. She tenses, for a moment, but her hands keep cleaning the wound as best as she can. She can’t reach it very well and it hurts badly enough that she wants to give up and throw the gauze away. Her hands are shaking, too, maybe from shock. 

And then, just when she thinks she can’t do it for another second, there’s another set of hands on hers, coaxing her into letting go. She hisses through her teeth at the sting as John slowly and carefully cleans her side. 

Wordlessly, he picks up the bandages from the open med-kit in front of her and starts to wrap them around her. He never wavers, his eyes not leaving the wound. 

She wishes, for a moment, that he was being awful. That he was deliberately hurting her or staring at her as she sits in nothing but a bra or even trying to cop a feel. But he wasn’t. He was being kind and careful and gentle and it made it incredibly hard to hate him as he taped the bandages in place. 

He looks up, meeting her eyes. Wordlessly, he takes her blanket and wraps it around her shoulders. 

Later, she’ll wonder what it meant. 

—

The next time they meet, it is raining. It’s a warm rain, gently pattering against the rusty tin roof. She sits quietly in her blanket, a warm cup of tea held loosely in her hands. John sits in the other rocker, as silent as she is. 

It is a welcome moment of quiet after a week or more of constant, exhausting struggles. Arguments with Dutch and the Resistance when they didn’t agree with her desire to help the cultists overcome their indoctrination, small but grating comments on her tactics that she heard until she felt like she was going to explode. 

For once, it is easy to let her mind slip away and wander. She thinks about the world outside Hope County and how distant it feels now. Thinks about the gun she saw in the shop in Fall’s End that she wants and starts planning how she’s going to modify it. Thinks about Boomer and wonders how soon she’ll need to get more dog food for him or if she should just bite the bullet and start cooking meat for him. Thinks about how she might go about making a new collar for Boomer and other small tasks that she just wants to do. 

She only stirs when the rain stops, glancing at the watch she always wears for the time. It’s getting late enough that somebody will start to wonder about her sooner or later and she doesn’t want to risk them finding the small little cabin. 

She rises from the chair, putting the tea that had grown cold on the porch rail, she hears a quiet snore from John. She freezes in place, half out of the chair, and her eyes dart to him. 

He’s peaceful, in his sleep. She hadn’t realized how much he worried until she saw him relaxed. His blanket had ridden down to his lap, piled up. Before she can stop herself, she reaches over, pulling it up to his shoulder. John doesn’t move, save for the soft rise and fall of his chest. 

She wonders what he would think if he knew she was standing here, watching him sleep. Was it creepy? She would probably think it was if she wasn’t doing the watching. 

But then…this was reminding her, more than anything, that John Seed was a man instead of a monster. Mary May and Nick Rye and everybody else could talk about how evil and sadistic he was all they wanted. 

She didn’t have to believe them. Carefully, she folds her blanket up, sliding it under his head like a pillow. She leaves him there after a long moment spent looking at him and marveling at what she saw. 

She’ll think about it long after she’s left the cabin. 

—

The next time she sees him, it is in his bunker. Joey Hudson sits across from her, eyes angry and pleading and sad and sorry all at once. 

She can’t quite bring herself to look at John, so she keeps her eyes on Joey. What would her fellow deputy think if she knew? 

When John asks who will go first, she answers immediately. If Joey went first, if she found out…she couldn’t let John hurt her, either. Couldn’t bear to sit alone in the dark and think about what might be happening to her. So, selfishly, she says yes. 

And she tries not to think about the slow smile that spreads across his face when she does. 

—

She escapes, because that’s what she’s good at. As much as she wanted to say yes, she knows the Resistance needs her. Knows that, despite their shared and stolen moments, she and John are on opposite sides. 

She doesn’t know why the cabin is the first place she goes. She isn’t surprised, either, when John stalks in a few hours later. The look he gives her is scathing. She braces herself. 

“You could have killed yourself!” John hisses, and she’s left blinking at him. She had expected anger at her escape, not concern for her safety. 

“The Resistance needs me, John. I- I can’t,” she says, voice weak, because she has to convince herself before she can convince him. 

“The Collapse is coming, Deputy. I just- I want you to come out on the other side of it,” he says with, a long and slow exhale. 

Cautiously, carefully, she reaches out and puts her hand on his shoulder. She feels like she’s on the edge of a cliff. She feels like she is about to fall. 

She thinks she might jump instead. 

—

They start talking more, after that. At first, she had cautiously asked John to tell her more. 

About the cult. About the Collapse. About what he believed in and what he didn’t and why. And then he’d told her about his childhood. 

She only knew John Seed, had never known John Duncan, but there was something scared and vulnerable in his eyes when he told her. She reaches out, a hand on his shoulder. 

“You didn’t deserve that,” she says, and means it. 

She thinks something changes between them, that night. 

—

The weather forecast calls for a week of freezing rain. It is fall, in Hope County, and everyone knows she can’t fight a cult in the rain. She tells her friends not to worry and heads up into the woods. When the weather clears, she promises, she’ll be back. 

John’s already waiting in the cabin when she gets there. He’s got a fire going and wood stockpiled by the door. He’s sitting in front of the fire- he’d brought a pile of blankets and pillows and spread them out into a comfortable looking nest. 

She kicks her shoes off, dropping her backpack by the door. Quietly, she pads over to John and drops down next to him. 

He has a cup of tea waiting for her. She takes it, gratefully and wordlessly. The warmth from the fire suffuses her and for the first time since the helicopter crash, she can relax. 

She’s asleep before her head hits his shoulder.

—

He only wakes her up to lay her down on the blankets, a pillow under her head. He lays down next to her and she’s only aware of the warmth she curls into. 

—

Eventually, the rain stops. They both know they cannot hide from the world forever- John has his family and she has the Resistance. 

They don’t speak as they pack their things. John leaves the blankets and pillows in the cabin- they both know they’ll be back soon enough. 

It’s bittersweet. They both know that outside the cabin they will go back to what they were. To enemies. To opposite sides of a war neither of them wanted to fight. 

How she wishes she could just say yes. Could just give in. Could just go home and run away from Hope County and let it be someone else’s problem, but she’s never been the type to run when people needed her and if anyone had ever needed her it was now. 

She doesn’t look at him, either, as she packs. Until, right before she heads for the door, he grabs her by the arm. There’s a long moment where they stare at each other, silently. A thousand unsaid things lay between them. 

“Be careful,” he says, eventually, his voice gruff. When he lets go of her it is reluctantly and she forces herself through the door without looking back. 

She knows if she did she wouldn’t ever leave.

— 

A cold spell hits and the Resistance and the cult both slow down. Neither of them are needed that much and so it is easy for them to disappear. The first day, they gather firewood together. Enough to last them the duration of the cold spell, until it warms up in a week or so. Enough that they can just stay together until they can’t anymore. 

She brought more whiskey and this time they drink it. She has a hold on it more than he does, doesn’t want to give him the option of slipping back into old habits. He’d told her about his old addictions when he’d told her about the Duncan family and she didn’t want him to fall back into it. She knew how easy it was, to slip into old habits like that. 

“You know what I miss,” she announces, unceremoniously, once the whiskey is warm in her stomach and the fire is warm next to her and John is sitting across from her. 

“What do you miss?” he asks, a faintly amused smile on his face. 

“I miss movies. I can’t find any good ones in Hope County and I just…I miss being able to curl up with a blanket and a hot cup of tea and just…watch a movie,” she says. She doesn’t say that she wants to watch movies with him, curled up against his side, head on his chest. 

“Joseph wanted them confiscated,” he admits. She groans, rolling her eyes. 

“Older brothers are no fun,” she says, and John can’t help but laugh. 

—

Too soon, the cold snap breaks and the air warms back up. They leave the cabin, reluctantly. Neither one of them want to. 

Soon enough, though, they’re back. They always come back. To the cabin, to each other. To this small, sheltered place, where the rest of the world ceases to exist as soon as they cross the threshold. 

This time, John has a big bag he holds out to her. When she opens it, she finds it is full of movies. Old VHS tapes and DVDs alike. 

“There’s more, if you make your way through those,” he starts to say, but she cuts him off. She launches herself at him, arms wrapping around him in a hug with a small squeal of delight. 

He laughs, his arms coming down to wrap around her.

That’s when she realizes she’s in too deep, that she will never be able to stop caring about John Seed. That she will never see him as the monster the Resistance does.

—

Days after John gave her the movies, the Deputy finds herself laid up in bed. Nick Rye is kind enough to give her a spare bed in their house- he drags a tiny television in and sets it up at the foot of the bed, shifting the crib around. She tries to come up with an excuse to stay somewhere else, but the baby isn’t born yet and Nick and Kim won’t hear it. 

So that’s how she finds herself watching through the movies John gave her, bandages wrapped around her stomach and her right thigh and her left arm. The gunfight she’d gotten in had been a bad one and she’d ended up taking more than one bullet for a civilian the cult had captured. 

It takes weeks to recover. She does most of it on her own- fumbles to change her bandages, struggles up and down the stairs in the Rye house to the bathroom. Kim just thought she was going stir-crazy, gave her small sympathetic smiles whenever she caught her eye. But she wanted to be back at the cabin. Wanted it to be John coming to check on her every couple of hours instead of Nick. 

And so, as soon as the Resistance doctor assigned to her gives her permission to go, she’s gone. The hike to the cabin takes longer than it used to. Takes more out of her, too, because by the time she arrives and sinks down into the rickety old rocker she’s out of breath. 

She’s only just barely sat down when the door opens and John steps onto the porch. She heaves herself out of the chair, wavering unsteadily. She stares at him for a moment just as he stares at her. 

And then he’s kissing her. She didn’t remember either of them crossing the distance, but suddenly her hands are curled in the loose fabric of his shirt and he’s supporting her weight with one arm while his other hand cards through her hair. 

She kisses him like he’s air and she’s drowning, her fingers bunching tighter and tighter into his shirt, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

When they break apart, they’re both breathless. 

“I was worried,” he manages, voice thick. 

All she does is kiss him again.

—

When she wakes up in the church with John leaning over her, the sharp sting of the tattoo needle on her chest throbbing, her first thought is one of panic. She never considered herself a good actress and here, surrounded by Nick and Pastor Jerome and the others, she is sure they’ll be found out. Sure that they’ll figure out she’s nothing more than a backstabbing fraud who fraternizes with the enemy. 

When Pastor Jerome offers her the false book, she knows what it is. She knows that, inside, under the cover, there is a hidden gun. 

She has never been more afraid to take something in her entire life. But Jerome is staring pleadingly at her and she can’t look over at John to warn him because if she does she knows they’ll find out. 

So she takes the gun and hopes nobody will notice she never once aims it at John.

—

The Deputy is good at what she does, but she is only human. When Nick shoots his plane down she thinks she can feel her heart stop. She’s fumbling with the parachute before Nick even finishes crowing about the victory, fingers at the ready as she braces herself at the door. 

“Fly home,” she tells him, before taking off the headphones. The wind steals anything he might say in response as she opens the door and then she’s falling and she’d be worried if she hadn’t already fallen for the youngest Seed. 

The only difference now is that the parachute catches her before she hits the ground and then she’s pulling it off, shrugging her shoulders out of it as she runs forward. 

She finds him on the ground, bleeding and broken but still alive. 

She doesn’t need to say anything. John reaches for her, pulls her down to him. She doesn’t realize she’s crying until she sees the tears falling into his hair as she cradles him against her chest. His hand presses the key into her hand. 

“No, no, no, no,” is all she can say and John is too injured to say anything in response. 

—

When she finally stands up to make the trip to his bunker, she knows the Resistance will not recognize her.

She had been pulling her punches for far too long because of John. Now that she doesn’t have to worry about him, she finds it would be terrifyingly easy to burn the valley to the ground.

—

“Rook,” comes a voice, tearing her away from the memories. Footsteps crunch on the leaves surrounding the grave and then there’s a warm hand on her shoulder. 

“Coming here isn’t good for you,” the voice says again. She sighs, tearing her eyes away from the stupid, simple grave that she’d worked so damn hard on. 

“I like to remember,” she answers stubbornly. He chuckles, before pulling her against his side. She can’t help but melt into his warmth. 

“Focus on what we have now,” he says, softly, insistently. She huffs, turning one last time to look at the grave. 

“We don’t have much,” she says, because they live on their own in a little cabin with a rickety front porch and blankets that were old before the Collapse. Because they can’t live in Prosperity or New Eden. Even though they both have people they miss. 

“We have each other, Rook,” he reminds her, voice gentle. And she knows. She knew it would be like this when she’d hidden John away in a small bunker she’d found near the cabin. Knew it even as she brought him preserved foods and water and clothes and anything else she thought he might need if the world suddenly ended. Knew it even as she sat in the bunker with Joseph, waiting for the radiation to clear out of the air so she could go check on him. As she worried that he ran out of supplies or that he’d begun to hate her during those long, long years apart. 

“You know, you don’t have to use my last name,” she says, because he’s right. Because it’s better to focus on the now, on the old little cabin they’ve turned into a home, on how she likes the way he looks with the salt-and-pepper hair as the grey creeps in. On how, after everything, they finally have each other. 

“You hate it when I use your first name,” he reminds her, a teasing little smile curling the corners of his mouth up. She scoffs, but when he tugs her back in the direction of the house, she goes easily. 

After all, the ending they’ve earned is bittersweet, but it’s theirs.

[heartscfvalor]

                     I wage my war, on the world inside                         I take my gun to the enemy's side                                 Oh, I’ve been askin' for—                                 Oh, I’ve been askin' for                                                  problems,                                                          problems,                                                                  problems

Ind. Pansy Parkinson & Ginny Weasley From the Harry Potter series Found on heartscfvalor

Rules

[rumymm]

/song: Bad liar - Imagine Dragons/

Oh, hush, my dear, it's been a difficult year And terrors don't prey on Innocent victims Trust me, darling, trust me darling

It's been a loveless year I'm a man of three fears Integrity, faith and Crocodile tears Trust me, darling, trust me, darling

So look me in the eyes Tell me what you see Perfect paradise Tearing at the seams I wish I could escape I don't wanna fake it Wish I could erase it Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know That I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go

Did all my dreams never mean one thing? Does happiness lie in a diamond ring? Oh, I've been askin' for problems

I wage my war, on the world inside I take my gun to the enemy's side Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling) Oh, I've been askin' for (trust me, darling) Problems, problems, problems

So look me in the eyes Tell me what you see Perfect paradise Tearing at the seams I wish I could escape I don't wanna fake it Wish I could erase it Make your heart believe

But I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know That I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go

I can't breathe, I can't be I can't be what you want me to be Believe me, this one time Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know Now you know That I'm a bad liar, bad liar Now you know, you're free to go

Oh Please believe me Please believe me

[merceyca]

Did all my dreams never mean one thing?

Does happiness lie in a diamond ring?

Oh, I've been askin' for problems

I wage my war, on the world inside

I take my gun to the enemy's side

Oh, I've been askin' for 

Problems