#“IM ALL BIG TOUGH AND INDEPENDENT!” cause no im not

[themostsanebug]

okay okay so

do ya guys really view me as a pathetic little man or is it solely cause i largely associate myself with roger and roger is normally viewed as such,,

guys im really not that pathetic i promise 😭 /gen

[mejomonster]

i should join an ax throwing club. there’s an lgbt one in my area. im not healthy enough to be running nonstop for hours yet again. but boy can i throw hard o3o

[astellx]

gentle with me

now playing... touch tank- quinnie

one shot for pretty boy Megumi!

Warnings: Childhood-Friend! Megumi, reader was also taken in by Gojo, reader is also a sorcerer, fluffy, pining, kissing, nothing explicit, cursing, kinda all over the place, not really good VERY MESSY WRITING

word count; 4K (IM SORRY)

You first met Megumi at age 6, he was accompanied by a freakishly tall man. The man had been looking into you about one specific power you possessed. His random appearance at your school honestly scared you until he explained how he was going to mentor you. You had grown up abandoned and alone. A similar case to Megumi but with different clans, although yours was pretty insignificant compared to the Zenin clan. The whole backstory was honestly boring and irrelevant to you at the time. What really drew your attention was the small boy hidden behind the weird looking man.

He looked almost the same age as you if not a little older, with dark black spikes coming out of his head, and a gruff expression on his gummy face. You tilted your tiny head trying to get a better look at the boy before finally meeting his green eyes. Moving your gaze back up towards  the silly looking man you put a finger on your mouth shushing him before asking “Who's that behind you?” With a very shocked look he turned his attention to the boy hiding behind him before saying “That's Megumi Fushiguro, he's in the same boat as you kid.” 

It's safe to say you were very interested in what the tall man (whom you eventually learned was named Gojo) had to say to you after the quick introduction. You were a very hard to please child, learning to be independent at a young age. But something about Megumi broke down at your tough exterior. After all, you were just a kid, and you wanted company from someone who would understand you. Gojo eventually took you in having you work as a Jujutsu sorcerer to become eligible for financial aid. You eventually grew fond of Gojo feeling safe and protected with him, but you also got to learn more about Megumi who was very hard to get close to. He had a snappy attitude, low tolerance for people, and a slight angst to him even at such a young age.

You remember one of your first interactions with him, “Um Fushiguro.. Do you like to play with toys like Legos or something?” You peeped, voice shaky and light… he had looked up at you from his school book with a scowl and said “No I'm too big for toys' '. After that you threw away your lego set. Leaving Gojo confused, recalling how you begged him to take you to the store and buy those for you. 

But eventually, with time, he started to enjoy your presence. Asking you if you wanted to watch what he had learned, allowing you to play with his divine dogs, and sharing his food with you. He was never super talkative, creating an awkward silence since you had a lot of energy. But you guys were a perfect balance. And from the age of 8 years old you guys were inseparable, constantly wanting to be around each other. Gojo used to poke fun at the raven haired boy about how he was attached to your hip. He was your best friend ,you were his, and you guys vowed to grow stronger to protect each other.

You remember when you guys were 9 he was learning how to ride a bike with no training wheels, his bike was too heavy causing his tiny form to tumble off of it and cut his knee. It was the first time you had seen him cry, hot and heavy tears streaming down his face. 

“Fushiguro! Are you okay?” you shouted, bearing witness to his terrible fall. He refused to look you in your eyes, wishing you would go away. With flushed cheeks and pink ears he nodded “ ‘M fine, it didn't even hurt”. You remember laughing really hard at him after he told you that, making fun of how he was crying. If you asked him about it now, he would say that never happened. After releasing your last fit of giggles you helped him to his dorm before cleaning his wound and putting a bandage on it.

“There you go, you big baby. Now it should feel better” you beamed, before kneeling down to place a small kiss above his booboo. You remember he turned red all over before kicking you out of his room, “ Get out. You're not welcome here anymore!”. Now you swear you're getting deja vu when you hear your best friend yell at the new student.

You could hear his raspy voice from where you stood in the hallway, “I already said you're not welcome!”. Continuing towards his now deep voice you finally see who he's talking to, Gojo and some pink haired boy. You clear your throat, grabbing their attention before speaking “What's he mad about?” you question Gojo. All the man could respond with was a shrug before pulling the new student towards you. “Yuji, this is Y/LN Y/FN, this is their first year here also!” He smiled before putting his hand out towards you, you quickly copy his actions before responding. “Hi, I didn't know we would have another student yet! Don't mind grumpy pants over there I swear he gets better” At this comment Megumi rolls his eyes before snarling at you. “Hi nice to meet ya, i'm sure we’ll all get along great!” Yuji shouted, making you giggle. At this, Megumi observed you giving Yuji one last side eye before deciding you would all get along just fine.

As time grew Yuji and the other first year Nobara quickly learned just how close you and Megumi were.  

“Megs do you have my rubber band?” You query, fiddling with the ends of your hair before looking up at him with a pout. You and him were walking into class together drawing the attention of the two already sitting at their desks. Megumi shook his head no before mumbling “No, I think you left it in my dorm.”. Nobaras jaw dropped so low before smacking Yuji in the forehead to gain his attention. 

“Ouch! What was that for?” Yuji whined

“He just said she left her rubber band in his dorm” she whispered

“Okay and? What does that have to do with you flicking my head?” He whispered back

After later discussion, Yuji finally realized the implications of it all, that you had been in his dorm. While it was true it was only ever of innocent intentions. Whether it be you guys studying or simply just craving each other's presence. While Principal Yaga would definitely be upset if he found out, Gojo told you guys it was okay. Remembering the old days when you guys would fall asleep together not wanting to leave each other's side. But much to Nobaras shock it didn't stop there.

One day she was doing homework in her dorm, learning the chemistry behind certain techniques before getting stuck on a specific one. She remembered you had gotten the example correct in class and decided to knock on your dorm. You opened it almost immediately. “Hi Kugisaki is everything okay?”

“Ya everythings peachy except for question #5 on our chem assignment. Do you think you could help me study it and break it down more before our quiz Friday?” She asked with a disgusted look at the mention of a quiz. You nodded with a soft smile before realizing something leaving a conflicted look on your face. “Me and Megumi were going to study together for like an hour, did you want to join us? He was struggling with a similar problem and I was gonna help him too!” You explained. Not only did Nobara take note of how you used his first name but also how you and he were going to study alone together. While she frequents missions with Yuji or Megumi alone, it was different with you and him.  She also later saw the stoic boy wearing the same long sleeve you had on during this interaction, only three days later. 

The list of intimacy you and Megumi shared could go on forever but you guys honestly just thought it was normal based on the fact that you grew up together. Things stayed that way until your second year. You and him were sent on a rough mission, leaving the two of you bloodied, bruised, and vulnerable.. You would've died if it weren't for his Shikigami taking you into its mouth and running the opposite way. You remember waking up in the infirmary to a worried Megumi, he had looked tired almost as if he hadn't slept in days. Despite his obvious injuries he was still there by your side.

“Megs?” You interrogated, making sure it really was him and not a hallucination. He replied with a hum before telling you to go back to sleep and rest. You could've sworn his hand was lightly pressing on top of yours when you fell asleep, rubbing slow circles into your palm. From that moment forward there was an awkward tension, one you haven't felt since you were children. It left a shaky feeling in your lungs and butterflies in your belly. Everything was the same except for one night  when you slept in his dorm, you found his presence suffocating. The way his scent attacked your nostrils, or how his closeness in proximity felt dizzying. And his voice… you wanted to ask him to talk you to sleep with the deepness his voice had one day adopted. Things were different. His eyes lingered on you longer than usual, the way his gaze would drop to your lips while you were talking. Or the way he pressed his hands on the small of your back whenever you walked together. Much like right now, as you are walking from class to the library.

“Hey Y/N, you have the day off tomorrow right?” He asked you softly. You nodded in response before looking up at his face, you never realized how different he looks now. He grew much taller than you, and the fat on his face disappeared. You guys werent kids anymore after all but you never really paid attention to that until now. He chuckles slightly at your face, how you're stuck in deep thought, mouth left a jar. He reaches out to your face before pinching your cheeks, effectively snapping you out of your trance. 

You pushed his hand away and rubbed at the sore spot before you replied, “Yep! I feel like we've been working too hard. What about you?”. Your voice was smooth and velvet. He finds himself often thinking about how your lips probably taste sweet like honey, he thinks all of you would be sweet. It's weird how one day it kind of changed. The way your baby voice grew less grating on his ears, or how your body grew its own shape right in front of him. You looked more grown, and he found it hard to ignore.

“Yeah I'm free tomorrow, I was planning on going to that one bookstore downtown.” He watched as your eyes lit up at the mention of the store. While he frequented that store for its nonfiction books often; he knew you loved browsing through their fantasy novels. He hoped silently you would invite yourself like usual.

“Can I join you!? Gojo bought me a new bookshelf so I can finally get that new series I wanted!”

“Yeah sure”

You woke up early that day, picking out the perfect outfit for a shopping day.Quickly after  you walked to Megumi’s dorm to see if he was awake. You knocked only once before the doorknob started turning and the door opened up. He was adoring dark gray cargo pants, a black long sleeve, and his hair still damp from his shower.

“Wow you're up early” He murmured, still taking in your outfit. His eyes grew heavy the longer he looked at you. It's weird seeing you in anything other than your uniform. That's what he decided to use as an excuse for the fuzzy feeling that settles in his chest.

“Mhm I thought we could stop by some other places downtown since we have the time.”

He nods at this before stepping out of his door and letting it swing close. As the door slams shut he grabs at your purse opting to hold it for you. He doesn't miss the way you smile at him before ruffling his hair

“Stop that” he hisses while swatting at your hand, all you can do is giggle at him. Growing up you learned that Megumi isn't a man of many words, while he seems simple he's rather particular. “You're so sweet ‘Gumi” 

You guys first stopped at the bookstore, he ventured towards the nonfiction section trying to find books he hasn't read yet. You stayed busy moving in between the romance, fantasy, and manga sections before finding your top 6 books. You find your childhood counterpart sitting criss crossed on the floor already reading the one of two books he had picked out. He looked up at you and deadpanned at all the books in your hands. You joined him on the floor, knees touching before you asked him for help.

“I don't know which ones to buy, they all seem really really good but I can't get all of them…” you said in a soft whisper, close enough to his ear that your breath tickled him. 

“Tell me about all of them and then I’ll help you decide” he whispered back

He never liked any of the books you bought, finding fiction to be too trivial for him. You poked fun always saying he just liked to seem smarter by reading those documentary typed books.Yet he still listened to the crazy plot lines of each book, he didnt favor any until you explained the last book. 

“And finally this one is about two childhood friends who move away from each other and reunite after 7 years, it's a romance novel so im sure they end up together but it seems so cute!”  

“You should buy the last one…”

You paid first, buying the romance novel he picked. It left a weird sensation thinking about it all. Normally when you ask him what book to buy he’ll joke and say none before you ask about the books he’s getting, this time he almost immediately picked the last option. Coincidentally, one about childhood friends… you quickly shook the thought out of your head before going to the cafe and buying his favorite drink. An iced black Americano, no cream, light sugar. When you returned he had already finished paying.

“Where'd you run off to?” He asks, his voice raspy from all the whispering. He sneakily takes your shopping bag from your hand. Using your now free hand, you stick the straw into the cup before holding it out to his mouth.

“Oh you know, went to buy your least favorite drink”

“So funny..” he rolled his eyes before wrapping his lips around the straw, taking a long sip before releasing his mouth off of it with a string of saliva following back to his tongue. It's honestly quite lewd the way such a simple action brought a shaky feeling to your legs. You wasted no time bringing the drink back to your mouth, replicating his previous actions. His eyes shook at the sight before him. There was no way he was making this up right? There was an undeniable tension to the air, leaving you both flustered and sweaty. You guys made quick work getting out of the bookstore after that. 

The day continued with simple flirting, both of you guys too scared to really ponder on it for long. You had begged him to go into a couple of sanrio stores, taking pictures of his grumpy face in hello kitty ears and plush hats. It was moments like this that always made you think about your future, you couldn't imagine spending this time with anyone else. You were sure that wasn't normal, you're supposed to have crushes and think about other boys yet your mind could only occupy space for this one in particular. 

“Let's get something sweet to bring back to Gojo, yeah?” You suggested, wanting to bring him something back from your outing. It was something he always did for you, Megumi, and Tsumiki. Megumi had decided to order and pay for this coming back with an extra dessert. It was a container holding a slice of strawberry creme cake.It was almost as if he could read your mind because before you could ask for a bite, his fingers were caressing your chin pushing apart your plush lips.

“Open.” He demanded. It wasn't like you had any other choice with the way he was already opening your mouth but still you obeyed quietly. He placed the dessert in your mouth before releasing his grip on you, allowing you to chew and savor the treat coating your tongue. Now you really knew things had changed. Something so innocent and casual, had turned you into putty. It really wasn't innocent in your mind, quickly thinking of the compromising scenario you were in. You stuttered out a thanks to him, feeling timid and shy. 

As the night ended, you guys ventured back to the school. As he walked you back to your dorm you asked him if he wanted to sleep there that night. Normally you guys never asked each other, yet since the start of the day you felt so nervous over everything. He let out a small laugh at how awkward you were.

“You know… since we have class together you can sleep in my dorm tonight.” you proposed, before throwing yourself tiredly on your bed. He could only focus on the way you look sprawled out before sitting down on your office chair. “Yeah I know. Since when were you so shy Y/N?” he teased. His tone was enough for you to sit up and hold your knees to your chest feeling extra sheepish

“ ‘M not shy, stop picking on me” you sulked jokingly

He looked at you once more before looking towards the bags he set down, throwing two bags your way. Both from the bookstore.

“What's this?” you ask curiously, taking the bags in your hands and looking inside. There were four books, a trilogy series and the book you bought. You tilted your head in confusion at this.

“The series you wanted, you forgot all about it once we got to the store. So I bought it for you. Figured you'd come back home and realize you didn't get the one thing you went for.” He replied with a simple shrug, while you swooned at his actions, he was always so thoughtful. 

“It's not the only thing I went for…” you say bashfully, feeling too shy to look up into his eyes. He understood the implication immediately. Confirming that with a nod before replying with a small “Good.”

Looking down at your phone, you noticed how late it was getting. You also noticed how you were still in your outside clothes before standing up and moving towards your dresser. “Can you step outside while I change, sorry I would go to the bathrooms but that's down the hall and i'm way too sleepy for that.” You asked before he smiled and stood up., “I'll take this to Gojo while you get ready for bed”. If your heart wasn't beating hard earlier, it definitely was now. He was just such a gentleman. You quickly undressed, putting on a baggy black tee and plaid pajama shorts. 

Not long after, Megumi returned. Opening your door and plopping on your bed.

“So what movie are we watching today?” He asks with a light sigh

“Hey! How did you know, what if I wanted us to play fortnite or something hm?

“If you wanted to play fortnite you would have invited Yuji not me.” 

You both laugh at this recalling your big fortnite tournament you held with all the first years and Gojo. Yuji being the most into it and doing a dance every time he got a victory royale. You remember Megumi had explicitly expressed his dislike towards the game especially after a seven year old called him a bitch

Snapping out of thought with a slight giggle you replied “Anyways even though youre right, I was actually going to ask you what movie we should watch tonight”

“Knowing you, you're going to fall asleep thirty minutes in”

“Yeah yeah whatever Mr.Know it all, lets just enjoy each other company i guess”

“You say that like it's the worst thing in the world”

“Megumi.. Have you ever had your first kiss?”

The silence is so loud you almost regret asking, you're about to apologize. Like a full bow on the floor apology because now you feel like some pervert. He chuckles at your wide eye expression, looking at him as if he's the one that asked you that. 

“No. Have you?” he admits, you release a breath that you didn't even know you were holding in. But to know that he's never kissed anyone makes you feel good, it makes you feel proud almost. You're unsure why.

“No, I've never wanted to kiss anyone before..” you joke, his shoulders sink down a bit and you wonder if he feels disappointed. The statement isn't true and you decide to grow some balls before continuing “Well I mean except for…”

“Except for?”

“Except for you, ‘Gumi”

He literally melts, his cheeks are bright red. It's a new feeling, he's never thought about anybody this way other than you. While he knew there had to be some sort of reciprocation to his feelings, he never would have expected you to say it so bluntly. You interrupt his thinking by hiding your face into your hands, obviously feeling embarrassed. 

“May I kiss you Y/N?” he purrs, leaning in close to you. His gaze moves from your eyes, to your lips and then back up at your eyes. His hand travels to rid your face of your hair, allowing him to see you fully. You realize you haven't answered his question before nodding. He makes a disappointed face before ‘tsk’-ing at you. “I need to hear you say it.”

You open your mouth and then close it before opening it one last time releasing a shaky breath. 

“Please kiss me Megumi.” 

He wastes no time in grabbing your face and letting his lips crash into you. It's attractive yet messy, teeth clashing into each other before he opens his mouth a bit wider, giving you space to slip your tongue in. You change the tempo from a fast paced one into a slow and sensual one, wanting to enjoy the moment. You move your hands into his soft spiky strands, slightly tugging at the roots. It's unreal. It's dizzying. 

You both slip apart taking a deep breath before he embraces you into his arms. There isn't a need for other words, there's no need to clarify what this means. You know at this moment he's yours, and you're his. You fall asleep on his chest that night, different from how he usually sleeps on the floor. It's perfect, it's sweet and innocent. 

The next morning however is a little awkward, especially when Nobara welcomes herself into your dorm. Walking into the sight of you cuddled into his arms. His hand hidden underneath your shirt holding onto the small of your back. Your sleepy forms obviously too domestic for friends. She shrieks, waking the both of you up. After realizing she's not screaming because something is wrong but rather at the two of you, you throw your pillow at her. In class she loudly explains to Yuji right in front of you. It worsens when Gojo walks in and has to pretend he didn't hear everything she said.

Things stay the same, missions, class, kissing Megumi and repeat. You were basically dating, both having silently agreed on that the minute your lips pressed together. Dating him showed you a new side to the boy you've always thought you've known. He was so tender. You paid attention more to the way he treated you in comparison to others. You decided to ask him about this during a sleepover, you were sitting on top of his bed as he did homework at his desk. 

“Megs, would you consider yourself a cold or harsh person.”

His lips purse in thought, eyes raking over your figure before answering, “No, not necessarily. I think I'm gentle when I want to be.”. That made you blush profusely. It just proved that he had a soft spot for you, you honestly don't know why it took you this long to realize it. Megumi wanted to be gentle with you, for you and you only. He sends you a soft smile before shutting off his computer and joining you on the bed. You're wearing his shirt and sweats. He can't help but admire you. How perfect you are.

“I'm glad you're all mine.” He admits. His voice barely whispers, it's a sweet feeling to be loved by him. 

and its even sweeter to be able to love him back

[funnywormz]

Drama, Empathy, and Composure hehe

drama: who would you be in elysium?

hmm, idk if im interpreting this question right but if i was in elysium i think i would probably be some kind of nerdy bio-entroponeticist probably lol. entroponetics fascinates me so much despite being an entirely fictional field of study and the little mentions of the pale's effects on biology and the species that live around the pale make me so rabid........... the effects of the pale are referred to as "radiation" but idk if they mean ionising radiation or something else, and it only seems to have mental effects rather than physical ones from what we see in canon, although admittedly we only get to hear small snippets abt it in the game. i would love to study it and the effect it has on living things

empathy: who is the character of all time? explain.

i mean. i gotta be generic and say harry and kim here. harry is so easy to empathise with and care abt despite the fact that he's ultimately a pretty shitty awful dude, and i appreciate that a lot. he's such a fun character to play as at times but also heartbreaking and frustrating (in a good way) at others. kim, conversely, keeps himself on a tight leash and is overall pretty reserved and "cool", but beneath it all he's deeply flawed in his own way and is also just kind of a nerd lol. i love them both so much.

excluding kim and harry though, ruby and klaasje are my favourites. their relationship is very complex and more than a little tragic, and they're both very interesting characters in their own right. ruby is independent and self sufficient but seems to have a kind heart deep down, while klaasje seems to rely on others and human company and yet can be quite callous and will throw others under the bus to save herself. klaasje especially is such a complex character, you can never fully trust her and yet there's truth woven into everything she says. ruby is more openly blunt and honest, which i appreciate too. she's tough but she clearly would rather not hurt anyone, and is loyal to ppl she cares abt. klaasje is a victim in the situation but she put ruby in the line of fire to save her own skin and in the end there's no excusing that, but also it's understandable why she did it. idk they're just both very interesting

composure: would you rather sit on an anthill for an hour or stand in a river of leeches?

lmao i genuinely thought abt this one when it came up in the game and i gotta say im with kim on this one, i pick the leeches, although it depends on how many and how long for. leeches are very cool and fascinating animals, so i would enjoy being around them for a while and wouldn't mind getting a bit bitten. ants are lovely too, but when they are mad at you then they very much WANT to hurt you to make you go away. an hour is a long time when you're getting bitten and/or stung by a lot of pissed off ants, and depending on the species it could be rlly excruciating.

leeches on the other hand, have evolved to have a painless bite, because they don't want their host to even notice that they're being bitten, so they can suck their blood in peace. they actually use a form of anaesthetic to numb the bite area! so it wouldn't hurt at all. it's also easy to remove them, as they don't latch on/bury themselves in skin/leave teeth behind like other parasites do, so it would be easy to just gently pluck them off. of course, in large numbers they can theoretically cause anemia and even death from blood loss, but im assuming in this scenario there aren't enough of them to kill someone. and like i said, they are easy to remove and the bites are painless. so even if there were lots of them, you could just keep on picking them off before they took too much blood.........

im also just a big fan of all invertebrates and that includes leeches! they're worms in the annelida phylum, which also contains earthworms and polychaete worms, and based on my username it's probably pretty easy to infer that i am a worm enjoyer lol. i would totally let a leech bite me and take plenty of pics. so leeches it is, for sure :-)

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hi!!! I just saw your matchup event and i couldn’t resist the urge to participate >-<. I’m glad that I saw it, because I just scrolled past your masterlist and I saw some juicy content which i’m DEFINITELY gonna read later!!!

I wanna congratulate you for your 300 followers, i’m sure you really deserve them!! <33

Of course ignore this if it’s uncomfortable for you, no pressure!!

Okay so the fandom i’m gonna request from is Haikyuu!

I’m a scorpio, ISFP, 7w6, I really like photography and i’m studying cinema atm. My hobby is writing poems since i consider it the only way I can properly express my emotions; I also like to read, especially manga, and listen to music. I love to experiment hair colours hehe

I’m a stubborn person, with precise goals in life. I love creating new relationships but, the moment the other person shows me that they don’t really care about me, I’m gonna leave without looking back.

Im very loyal in friendships or relationships, and I love to listen to people. I’m very independent and I prefer to stay alone most of the times

I hope I described myself enough because I don’t really know what to say 🫠

Thank you in advance for your time and take care 🥺🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻

Fandom: Haikyuu

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: Spoiler from the manga (Akaashi's job)

Word Count: 0.6K

A/n: This one was tough lmao. Thank you so much honey! I'm glad that you enjoyed my work! feel free to send requests if you have anything on your mind :>💕

I match you with...

Keiji Akaashi!

I was actually doubtful about Choosing between Oikawa and Akaashi, but in the end I went with Akaashi cause you know... He's Akaashi :>

Akaashi is a super thoughtful and understanding person. He's kind, also indepentednt and charming as hell. He will never cross your boundaries and always gives you the space and time you need to yourself; though he will not hesitate to interfere when you have a serious problem and will do his best to make you feel better.

You do not have to worry about his feeling toward you. As I said before, he is a thoughtful guy, and he will definitely think it through before stepping in a relationship. If he's in a relationship with you, you have to know that he definitely loves you; or else he wouldn't be here.

He listens to other people (Bokuto) just like you and will do his best to make them feel better (we've witnessed that in the anime) so you have something to talk about when you open up to each other lol; because sometimes listening to people just takes so much energy, you know?...

Akaashi is also a supportive boyfriend. He shows interest in the major your studying (no matter what it is) and will gather information about it so he can have a better understanding of what you're interested into. He will be your model if you ask him to (ask him, this hot guy is definitely a good catch), I'm not sure if he will be willing to let you color his hair, but I'm sure you can both compromise on it or maybe even make a bargain...? <3

You like reading manga? Well lucky for you, your s/o is a manga editor! You can read all the manga's he edits before gettng published officially, so that's definitely a benefit to you🚶🏻‍♀️

Akaashi loves to be in a relationship with an independent person. He admires your independence. He's been taking care of people for quite a while, and he prefers to be with someone who's mature and is able to take care of himself.

He is a pro at reading your mood, and as the thoughtful boyfriend he is, he will give you the space you need. He might not even ask you about your problem directly, but he will ask you how you're feeling and if you need help with anything. So don't think that he doesn't care about you; he just doesn't want to bother you and trusts you because he knows you're able to do thing on your own.

This guy might look cold, but he has a big golden heart, and you don't have to look closely to notice it :)

In a relationship, he's actually warm caring person. Not the energetic type of boyfriend, but the smooth type of guy. He makes you feel relaxed and comfortable, you feel like you can open up to him about anything since he's not judgmental and Honestly it's hard not to fall in love with a guy who's always sweet and polite :>. So if you're looking for something comfy, peaceful and calm, he's definitely the guy for you.

Tries his best to keep a balance between his work and you. Even when he's been working for 5 hours, he will still take you to the restaurant he promised you only to see your beautiful smile.

Please don't let him overwork himself tho ಥ_ಥ

I think I should have matched you with Kuroo, but I don't know... 🚶🏻‍♀️

Thanks for participating in my event! :)

[gakomondad]

Day 2 - Overthinking

I slept a lot, not wanting to get up Memories are painful Need constant distraction

I still dont know if baby wanted to break up but didnt want to hurt me so she tried going for an easier route I still of course dont know if she wont miss me and will decide she doesnt want to be with me after time But it hurts But I trust her so that makes it easier, just gotta shift mind to that manualy and I feel better (:

Looking back I feel like communication would have helped, I had no idea I was that heavy for her It came out of the blue to me despite how down she felt before that, I thought I only helped I made it difficult for her tho

I got super emotional but pushed down so I can talk it out and convince her we can be a partnership and communicate and figure it out, but later I let my emotions out and I regret it

I felt like I meant so little to her that she didnt wanna figure out a solution, thats how it felt, so I wanted to be away for a bit I didnt realize that might play right into her issues with the relationship by worrying about me and what she should do

I feel like baby was trying to be a constant pleaser to me, I didnt realize until today Putting so much effort into the little things, when her life is already tough…. I couldnt handle that myself in her shoes... Im deeply sorry... And when the effort is crushed… like how I unintentionally made her feel bad… then it just seems like a trap situation where work is hard and for no reason

I am not sure if thats the case but I could understand if so looking back I really hope we could establish better communication and a feeling of equality Babys needs are just as important, but I need to know them! She is not responsible for my happiness, I am a grown ass man (: She can influence me of course, the same way I can her But there needs to be clear communication in a safe accepted space So we can adjust I should do a better job making her comfortable and not feel responsible for me, thats entirely on me! She could put trust in that operation and test it out (: I hope I do a better job, will work on myself rn and long term

I wouldnt mind giving space, not just alone time I feel that one of my other mistakes were not giving her space but talking to her I keep on wondering if I only didnt share how I felt and I was stronger, while giving her space instead… maybe it would be good.. But I wouldnt have the realization until now…… such is life And thats okay

Learn and move on (:

I can find a balance within myself now with better understand but also need to work on that long term Will need to establish comfort for baby so she feels independent and comfortable to bring up anything I am neither her parent nor child, I can handle stuff (: we should communicate as equals !!! Especially would be easier if its small stuff while its going on, little concerns, makes it difficult for both when its all at once But that will also get better with time and is understandable for rn (: My therapy appointment is moved to the 31st of October, I hope that gives me some clarity… its still 10am rn… will see how the day goes Therapist sent me an email with a test to do... I am procrastnating on that haha, will do it during lunch time tomorrow (:

Just some random thoughts: Moving on if we were to do this, we might benefit from a weekly relationship mental wellness check with preset questions and safe space like: "how do you feel about us" "Is there something weighing on your shoulders about us" "What is something you haven't shared with me this week for whatever reason, its valid and its welcome, I will do my best to provide a safe space for expression" "Is there something that looking forward might not be sustainable, maybe too much of this or that, that you would like us to adjust so it doesnt turn into a bigger thing later?" "Please share if any worries of this weeks events with me"

Mostly cause what happened was a big deal and I would prefer if I was making things easier for baby instead of heavier, no matter how, be it with space or whatever (: we can communicate better, I can provide more comfort for both of us

It should not be seen as a responsibility tho, should be seen as an opportunity to make things better even if its a bit of extra work, making things sustainable would be much much better (: Should always be honest, maybe the most difficult part

I wish I could have wished baby a safe flight.... She's was on my mind anyway, I really hope all went well and she is doing okay.... fuck I miss her... 😩 I went to see my parents today, people were concerned about me cause I was more honest this past week about my mental health the past year... actually ever since 16 and how I've been to therapy on and off They seemed concerned and understanding, I am being more vulnerable, I think I am gonna try to not close off but just stay in the middle with them, not open too much, nor close off, I think thats just the healthy way as of rn I just want something sustainable and to work on my attachment style (: Went to see Jaws with my uncle and his wife The movie was goood, I actually really liked it, no wonder its a classic! At the end my Uncle said "keep strong", mofos are getting too concerned like wth, I havent changed stuff, I EVEN AM BETTER than a year ago 😩 Anyway... I feel weird saying uncle and his wife but I cant call her aunt, she is like 5 years older than me They are so cute together, she doesnt care about people and being social, just wants to be alone or with him At the mall food floor, my uncle was on the phone for a long time so she pulled him by his belt and slapped his butt, he got embarassed hahaha Man I wanna be adored that way in public 😩 Maybe I just wanna be happy like them He really loves her and takes care of her and he's happy, I love that! She also really loves him, I can see that, she is happy! They also are caring for me and are really nice... I feel grateful My dude got a good looking russian woman thats close to 20 years younger to wife up while he's unemployed, bald and she is the breadwinner and on top of that she loves him, thats it... He used to have women in his life for his money when work was going well, superficial relationships... He wasnt happy... not like this Its a weird world but I am very glad for them, been seeing them almost every week, skipped last weekend... good stuff (: Anyway, I worked a little today, doing laundry and will relax soon I miss my baby, I hope she is doing well I hope her move was alright I hope her stuffy nose got better and she is healing well (: This blog stuff kinda keeps me sane so far ngl Final thing, I don't blame baby for anything... not at all What happened was inevitable and probably good long term We will learn and move on (: Ill do my best to meet baby as a better man...

[jjkyaoi]

ASSUMPTIONS ABT YOUR FAVORTIE DSMP!CHARACTER

(yes, the majority of this is projecting, what about it)

C!WILBUR: lmaoooo i can smell the mental illness from a mile away, luv. you half were rooting for villbur because you thought it was hot, but also just ‘cause you wanted to see the explosions, and honestly, valid. you’re probably unintentionally the parent of your friends, and you’re also probably high strung and tense all the fucking time, calm down. you want to protect ghostbur w/ your life, but you severely miss the old wilbur as well— not a day goes by where you don’t think abt the pogtopia arc. “independence or death” is constantly playing in your head. the end of the finale arc— wilbur’s death scarred you more than anything else in this fucking smp, but to cope you make shitposts about it through your tears. please  get therapy 

C!TOMMY: you have ADHD.  half the time you’re just crying abt how tommy deserves better, and you want to thrown down w/ c!dream more than you’ve wanted to throw down w/ any character, ever. valid. you stan c!tommy ‘cause you relate to him and his experiences, but also because he acts a lot  like you and you don’t even fucking realize it. you’re probably the loudest in your friend group and constantly try to bring up the groups spirit, but also you’re extremely insecure and sensitive, and it takea a lot to bring your self esteem up— same, but jesus christ. you’re probably obsessed w/ wilbur and tommy’s relationship more than you should be, and you’d do anything for them to just interact again.

C!TUBBO: you’ve definitely went through a bad friendship breakup in the past, or just generally half trust issues. did i mention that you’re the most nervous person to ever walk the earth? you’re the type of person who pushes people away whenever you’re too busy w/ something / gets overstressed w/ something you think you need  to do that you just end up unintentionally ruining friendships. also, you’re shit at texting, i can just smell it. you lowkey felt annoyed at how c!tubbo wass treated in the beginning of l’manberg, and you’re a dadschlatt stan— daddy issues who? you’re ignoring the festival. but, you’re also torn between wanting captainsparkles to be his dad-- infinite dads.

C!NIKI: half the time you’re the sweetest person in the world, but also holy shit  im afraid of you. you’re the friend that’s either protected by your entire friend group, or you’re the big sibling who’s protecting everyone. you’re quiet most of the time, preferring to be on your own, but you’re surprisingly really fucking good in an argument? you’re constantly upset that niki isn’t getting more time to development as a character, and schlatt’s character frustrated you as much as it did niki— you’d do anything to fucking thrown down w/ him.  i feel like people go to you for advice and you’re the therapist friend, but you do not  know how to handle your own emotions. mood

C!FUNDY: lmaoooo, alright kinnie. honestly, beforehand you probably thought that wilbur and fundy’s relationship was cute before you realized how awful it was, and mood. you want nothing more than good things for this boy, but he constantly gets slapped around and you’re constantly in tears. you’re in denial of what happened at the wedding— fundywastaken is canon in your mind. ,,,,are y’all,,, are y’all okay? i feel like y’all are lowkey intimidating to talk to, but in reality you’re just a socially awkward nerd who thrives  off info dumping on your interests but you’re so used to being overlooked that you’re hesitant. though, you’re definitely petty and are always ready to prove your point in an argument— stubborn as fucking hell, alright. how’s those daddy issues?

C!SCHLATT: i’m torn between laughing at you, and genuinely being concerned for your mental health. you’re definitely the fucking cryptid of the friend group; the one that’s mostly silent but whenever you do speak it’s some wack fucking shit, what do you mean. you’re a lesbian. you’re just—you’re a fucking lesbian. you cover up how you feel w/ a tough bravado but you’re really not, and the slightest things— even if they’re jokes, hurt you deeply and you keep them inside you for years. a lot of repressed rage. you have essays in your drafts about how schlatt wasn’t that bad of a person, and i want them right fucking now. you also miss wilbur and schlatt’s dynamic

C!QUACKITY: hello simp. you’re torn between simping for him, or feeling extreme gender envy. you’re definitely fucking funny— you’re the comedian friend of the group, but you don’t even have to try. did i mention a raging bisexual? you’re a blue gay, through and through. you’re extremely stubborn and set in your opinions, and you’re always willing to go on an hour long debate w/ someone. i feel like you’re extremely protective of your friends as well. you’re in love w/ quackity’s arc rn and you’re frustrated that nobody’s really paying attention to it, because snapping after everything he’s been through is what he deserves in your mind. you have abandonment issues and are unheathily attached to his dynamic w/ karl

[milkybonya]

hello smiling anon here :) can i request nct 127 as boyfriends? ur astro as boyfriends post was so cute :)

Anonnie im sorry i made you wait so long TT this is the busiest week of the year so far and i had to stay focused to prepare for it, but i hope you enjoy~

NCT 127 as boyfriends ♡

link to Astro version

Warnings: food mentions

what i listened to while writing: To My Youth by BOL4

Taeil

sweet to the MAX

always singing around the house and serenading you

multiple movie nights with you in one week where you eat a whole bunch of junk food together and cuddle the entire time ;3;

becomes flustered very easily when you reach for his hand or hug him because he doesn't like skinship

but strangely with you, his heart skips a beat??

helps you when you're stressed by enveloping you in a hug and not letting go until you feel better

not overly clingy but not distant either - he's the perfect bf !!

knows when to give you space and when he needs to invade your space and give you lots of kisses >:)

not big on fancy dates, just wants to bask in your presence

wherever he is, as long as you're there, he's happy

i don't know why but i imagine his hand getting clammy when you hold it because he's so nervous,, then he gets all shy and embarrassed about it :")

Johnny

always taking photos of you

literally has a folder in his phone named '[y/n]'

so whipped for you omg he literally giggles any time you lock eyes

so EMBARRASSING cause of all the bad jokes he cracks and how tough he tries to act

"[y/n] do you wanna feel my arm muscles?"

waking up next to him each morning would involve you thinking he’s asleep and staring at him until he pulls you closer into his chest and presses his lips to your forehead ;3;

takes you on really creative dates like going to markets, going for drives, walks through unknown paths

if y’all are not seeing each other in person, he’ll constantly be texting or calling you

always sends you photos of things that remind him of you

the type to pretend he’ll give you your coat, then he doesn’t, but then he does because he loves you :”)

quite clingy in the sense that he always wants to be near you, holding your hand, hugging you, kissing you, whatever it may be

Taeyong

such a sweet and loving bf :”)

the type to buy you flowers and be that classy, romantic boyfriend

he’ll leave handwritten notes around the house and will send you good morning texts if you guys are apart from one another

the two of you are definitely the cool couple

but you’re also the couple who laughs hard about the most random things

like Taeil, knows when to give you space and when he should be there for you

will respect your sense of independence and root for you to succeed in your own things!

but also gets clingy sometimes and just wants a few hugs and kisses :”)

acts cute and pouts in front of you a lot 

but only in front of you, never in public or in front of anyone else

listens carefully whenever you’re sad and lets you rest your head on his shoulder, cry all over him - he lets you do whatever you need to do to be happy again, and he’ll try his best to cheer you up too :D

Yuta

loves reading with you, it’s one of his favourite things to do :”)

sometimes just ends up staring at you which leads to him pulling you towards him which leads to cuddling while reading and for him to kiss the top of your head an infinite amount of times

omg he will let you braid his hair or play with it or do all kinds of things to it

painting each other’s nails !! and searching for unique accessories in stores!

he’ll just buy an accessory and give it to you like “i just know this will look good on you, please try it on!”

i feel like he’ll be very honest with you about everything

so you both have nights when you talk for hours about your thoughts

and in the morning forget all about it by watching something while in bed hehe

will like exercising with you from time to time so you both stay healthy!

always thinking about you and your health, both mental and physical

you might be able to convince him to get a couple outfit :o

Doyoung

Like Johnny, likes taking photos of you but does it a bit more shyly

puts on a cool front all the time but he’s quite shy ;-;

loves to bake with you and actually takes it quite seriously

he’ll chase you around if you smudge batter on his face >:)

makes home dates fancy by lighting so many scented candles that the smell actually becomes unbearable

when you go on walks together, he’ll hide behind you every time he sees a dog, and you always have to apologize to the dog owners on his behalf because he’s scared :”D

likes to lie on top of you when you cuddle, with his weight on his legs which are on either side of you so he’s not crushing you, just so he can trace the shape of your face with his fingertips

if you cry, he cries and if you laugh, he’ll laugh - i feel like that’s how he’ll comfort you, by empathizing :”)

likes to go on car rides with you where the two of you are just singing songs 

always makes sure you’re eating your meals and staying hydrated - brings you food if you’re busy or forget

gets you really thoughtful gifts for special days but also throws a few meme gifts in there

Jaehyun

that bf who invites you to watch him play basketball just so he can take off his shirt in the middle of the game and watch as your face turns red

i feel like he’ll tease you in that ^ way a lot - he’s always trying to fluster you

he likes peaches so imagine going peach picking with him !! you’ll take such cute photos together and if he’s taller than you, he’ll pick all the peaches that you can’t ;3;

always trying to cheer you up whenever you’re sad - why can i picture him doing aegyo TT

this one time it rained when you were on a late night walk with him and he took off his jean jacket, held it above your heads as you ran home, but you ended up wet anyway :”)

super comforting whenever you’re sick or don’t feel good

constantly complimenting you and shows you lots of physical affection

always hugs you when he sleeps because if you’re not there, he’d just be hugging the blanket instead

not incredibly sentimental but always tries his best to show his love for you

tried to make breakfast in bed for you and dropped a whole bunch of cutlery on the floor :D

went through your phone and saved his name as ‘peach’ in it

Winwin

(this is from WayV as boyfriends, that’s why it looks a little different <3)

SOFT ANGEL

SOFT SOFT SOFT

did i mention he’s soft?

always worried about you 

genuinely cares about your feelings

a lot of “are you okay?” and “you’re not mad at me, right?”

if you’re ever in a bad mood, he’ll run to the store real quick and grab your favourite food for you

A LOT OF CUDDLES AND LAZY MORNINGS

he doesn’t like skinship but loves to hold you :’)

too shy to show affection in public tho

will hold your hand at the most

even if he does that, he’ll hold your hand in your pocket because he’s so shy

pls protecc him at all costs

is willing to do anything for you

sometimes you have to ask him how he genuinely feels about something

because he can’t say no :(

please make sure you tell him you love him regularly, or he’ll be sad :(

a lot of stay-at-home dates like watching movies

watchiNG ANIME (if you like it, of course)

“let’s just do whatever you want”

wiLL CRUSH YOU IN MOBILE GAMES

“i beat you! now give me a kiss >:)”

Jungwoo

if you also like to eat, y’all will have the most epic food dates omg

literally travelling to countries just to try the food there - that’s what it will be like

most of your dates involve food, but also a lot of walking dates so you can burn it off :”)

yet also many movie nights on the days where you don’t want to walk

he’ll learn your speaking habits and will imitate you whenever you get annoyed or angry 

likes to play soccer with you, even if you’re bad at it (so he can tease you), but if you’re good then he’ll enjoy trying to beat you

he’s the one who roasts you the most yet also cares for you the most

likes to kiss your neck because he can smell your natural scent, but if you hate it then he’ll do it to tease you or he’ll stop if you seriously tell him to

imitates kdrama male actors and actually makes your heart flutter by doing those things

and when you see the actors kissing in a drama,,,, you already know what he’s about to do

when you’re upset, he’ll hug you tightly and stay with you until you feel better

Mark

y’all have a shared playlist that you always add songs to so you can listen to it during car rides or when cuddling 

he keeps everything and anything you give him, whether it be a candy wrapper, flowers, a belt, shoes, anything

prepares really sweet gifts for you - a lot of songs or meaningful things

claims that you’re his muse and sometimes just stares at you for 5 minutes whenever you drop by his studio

“you’re my sun, i’m photosynthesizing so just stay right there”

he’s shy and gets flustered easily when you kiss or hug him, even when you just hold his hand

you have a tradition with him each fall where you go to a park, gather all the leaves to make a pile so you can dive into it

usually ends with you falling on top of him and the two of you just laying there for a long time

voice calls that last for more than 8 hours will become a thing when you date him :”)

always jokes about things related to marriage like ‘wow imagine if we had our wedding here’ and laughs awkwardly but he’d actually love to marry you 

takes you on trips that he claims are for him to get inspiration for music writing but he really just wants to spend time with you

Haechan

you already know what you’ve signed up for, right? chaos, absolute chaos - but in the best way

super clingy, always holding onto your arm or hand

whines when you don’t give him hugs or attention

bought a big plushie that reminded him of you so he can hug it when you’re not there and he misses you

he’s such a baby omg he’ll love being babied by you

makes hand crafted, diy gifts that clearly have his entire heart and soul in them

likes singing karaoke songs with you because if too you’re shy to sing alone, at least when he sings with you, he can hear a bit of your voice

cannot live if you’re sad or upset - he’ll do anything to help you feel better

cuddling is his favourite thing on this planet and he’ll wrap his legs around you so the two of you become an entangled mess, yet somehow are still comfortable

texts you random things like ‘i just saw a dog’ but also says stuff like that out loud to you

acts strong and cool sometimes like when you’re watching horror movies but fails miserably :(

ah, have you made it to the bottom? thank you for reading <3 were you by any chance looking for a sign? because this is it, this is your sign. i wish you luck with whatever it is that you must or must not do ;3;

[kendrixtermina]

The Head types vs the System

(I realized I made another "elaborate reply that could be its own essay" post so im posting it.)

7: "The big boss is no different than me, so they can't tell me what to do. I can get them to do what I want through charm & or get away with it through trickery" 7s may generally fit a picaresque or 'trickster archetype'. They're optimistic about the prospect of winning & confidence & daring can of course help you win in many situations. If they can't win, however, they may convince themselves the situation is fine or that the setback was actually a positive.

6: "The big boss is powerful & fearsome. I can throw my lot in with them, summon a bigger fish, or brace for a difficult battle." - hence why they can be very combative aggressive or defensive, cause they anticipate a tough battle & lots of opposition - but in a sense they're the most perseverant of all the three. The assumption tends to be that the ones in charge can solve the problem, but sometimes they don't cause they're evil.

5: "The powers that be can't be appealed to or reasoned with and probably won't help me. I must be ok on my own & stay out of their way so they don't mess with me." So there can certainly be a tendency to ignore the rules or be rather provocative or argumentative if in a secure position, but they don't tend to assume they could win/ are more likely to fold in direct unprepared confrontation - better to give up & do without the thing you wanted than fight and risk total destruction. Instead, independence is attained by keeping away from the system and doing your own thing / trying to solve it yourself.

Example (that actually happened more or less like this): They delivered a wonky table to our household.

6: "This is outrageous! We should contact customer service, after all we're owed a warranty. If they don't help us we'll leave a bad review"

5: "Not sure if it's worth the hassle tho. Is the damage bad? Maybe we can still use it as is. Or we could google how to fix it ourselves."

7: "Nevermind, I just phoned and talked them into giving us a second table. :D :D :D Now we have two for the price of one :D :D :D"

Basically the mechanism or idea for 5 in particular is that if you realize someone's talking out of their ass you don't have to listen to them; Best to ignore them, tune out that noise they're making & just do what you think works best.

But I don't think its so much a matter "haha im so smart I know better than all you bozos" & more a matter of "It seems like they are incompetent and unlikely to help me, so I might as well follow my own judgment" - not cause my judgment is so great (though it may be, in areas I've studied) but because it's all you have. Not that overconfident immature individuals dont exist in wagonloads, but one can also be misunderstood as confident when one isnt by peeps whod rather cross-check more.

At this point you might also bring object relations stuff into it.

6 - I'll look at all ideas that come in/ are relevant to my context & decide whether they should be stuck to or resisted.

7 - I'll look at this idea if it gets me to my goal, makes me happy etc. (comparing against an ideal) if it doesn't, I drop it

5 - All these ideas suck. Yeet! Looks like I'll have to make my own.

& hence you get what in the recent disadvantages post was described as 'having to translate everything to your own reference frame' & the common complaint that 'my spouse keeps quibbling about definitions instead of listening to me'

& Obviously wings feature into this as well - loads of 6w5 show a fair bit of 'synthetizing function' as some authors have called it (throwing out their own composite essays to see what happens) - & they have the advantage that, if it bombs, they don't feel as exposed - it seems sometimes that they can change ideas a lot more painlessly since their thinking it isnt interlaced with their fee-fees. (for all that theyve got their own grab bag of struggles)

It's amazing how you can see 6s just - have an epiphany & reconstruct all their thinking in real time sometimes. The furthest I get is "Hm, I need to think this over again" & then I decide later on my own that I was wrong. (& being so blind, I've probably since lost touch with the person who so enlightened me so I can't thank them, lol) its been humiliating to realize that im so. fucking. attached. when my great desire is to be unbiased and clearsighted. Like I need to rip myself in chunks to do that. - and I know I totally would, which probably creates more resistance. Maybe thats where this supposed virtue of nonattachment would come in, but im not quite there yet.

Likewise with the 7s the linkage to action & impulse lends itself to quick interpretation, improvisation & learning-by-doing, but you may be led astray to believing something 'cause it's gratifying.

To a lesser extent all this would also be true for ppl with the corresponding fixes in their tritype, just less prominent & overruled by their core.

[kazuwhora]

Can I request a tokyo rev match up. I'm a 5'0 girl, I'm straight when it comes to socializing I'm not the best at it I'm usually the quiet one in the group that barely talks bcz I'm to shy for that but if I have to stand up for someone I won't hesitate to put a bully in their place. For hobbies I don't have many I do enjoy drawing and sketching I have a sketchbook were I draw at. I'm a huge foodie i love food so much and I also really enjoy cuddles and hugs from people I know. If I see someone struggling or in need of help I try my best to help them out even if I help them out without them knowing who I am, it just makes me happy to know they got out of the tough situation. When I get really comfortable with someone I will open up to them! Its quite funny because when I ask my friends they usually tell me at first I was shy but once I got comfortable my personality was a bubbly personality, my MBTI is ISTP.

r u ready for this one

im matching u up with RINDOU JDJGFHSDKJGHS

ok so if we're going by mbti categories first, Rindou is an INTP while you are an ISTP. right off the bat we can see the similarities in cognitive functions of both the I,T, and P aspects. this means that personality wise, you two share the functions of introversion, thinking, and perceiving. often times introverted personalities do well with an extraverted counterpart. however in this case, I think rindou's introverted nature actually works really well with yours and the two complement each other sort of like puzzle pieces that fit just right. you both value time away from large groups and social settings, and rindou values the switch in confidence behind your personality when you're comfortable with him.

where you two differ is in your sensing vs. intuition. you prefer to sense your environment, living in the moment, while rindou prefers to analyze for patterns. in every day life, this isn't such a big difference that is causes problems, and rindou actually enjoys indulging himself in your "in the now" ways of thinking. for him, it's like a break from the way he is constantly analyzing, connecting, and observing his surroundings which can sometimes get overwhelming and frustrating.

the two of you are quiet af in public. rindou, much like you, isn't one to take the spotlight all that favourably unless he is in a position where he needs to protect himself, or generally just engage in fights lol. much like you, he is able to swiftly engage that aspect of his persona to fulfill the role he needs to fulfill in that moment. because of this similarity, rindou is OBSESSED with your independence and self reliance and is quite frankly inspired by your strength. he's not one to trust easily, but its safe to say that among his brother, you're high on his trust list.

however, unlike you, rindou isn't one to care much about people outside of that very small list. he doesn't have a lot of empathy for people he doesn't engage with. this is something you'll find yourself constantly working on with him. he'll roll his eyes at you, and ask you why he has to waste this energy on someone when he could be using it to make you happy? you can't deny that he makes a good point, but still. come on rindou. you can be a good guy. we believe in you.

he LOVES to spoil you. he lives for it. sometimes it can make you a little anxious with how willing he is to take you to every expensive restaurant he can think of. he wants you to have a taste of the finer things in life and is obsessed with seeing your eyes light up at new experiences. but if you're not feeling all that up to going out for a grandiose dining experience, he's happy to cook for you (shhh he LOVES to cook for you because he lives for the validation you give him for doing a good job so he does it all the time now) while you relax on the couch and draw. rest assured he'll be in the kitchen making sure everything he does is perfect and filled with all the love he has for you.

psst. call him cute. it makes him melt.

[littleballofwhitemage]

Prompt: Ferality

Well I’ve been sitting on this one since the middle of January and it’s still a WIP but lemme slide it in at the last minute. 👈🏽👈🏽

The day was going great till some Temple Knight’s came and carried me away from camp Dragonhead. I was literally about to go report to Lord Haurchefant when apprehended. I’m scared now, I hope I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not aware of any laws I’ve broken. “I’m afraid I don’t understand gentleman what’s the problem.” They yelled at me to do something but won’t let me use my hands to explain that I’m deaf. This went on for the longest time then they shoved a picture in my face of Rielle. What do they want with her? She’s just a sweet little girl. They kept gesturing to the picture angrily and getting more agitated that I wasn’t responding to anything. Well good sirs if you could please unbind my hands, I will answer your questions and we can all go on our merry ways. But they didn’t. why are they treating me like a criminal? They don’t even seem to be trying to understand why I keep staring at them wide eyed and terrified. I just wanna go home to my friends.

6 hours. They fruitlessly interrogated me for 6 hours. Then they left me in the room typed up to the chair. These are expertly tied knots I can’t feel my hands anymore and know I have serious rope burns on my wrists. I never did get them to understand I couldn’t hear them or why they want Rielle for something. The man himself finally came sniffing around for me and burst through the doors. His expression was one of indignation as he rushed over and cut my restrains. I cradled my hands to my chest getting blood on my shirt and just cried. He took me to his home in Ishgard and hurried me into a room, ignoring everyone who acknowledged us. “What happened Shirojishi?” he asked me after bandaging up my wrists and I could feel my fingers again.

“I don’t know. They just came outta nowhere and dragged me into a building. I tried to ask them if I had done something wrong but they didn’t seem to understand or didn’t care and bound me. Then for 6 hours did nothing but yell at me for something. I don’t even know what. Maybe that I wasn’t answering them.”

“They? Whos they?” he wiped at some tears with a silky handkerchief. His other arm was around me tryna comfort me in a hug.

“Some Temple Knights. Atleast I think they were Knights they had similar armor.”

“I’ll be sure to get a word to Ser Aymeric about this. You’re more then welcome to stay here and recover.” I want to go back to Mor Dhona and be with them if they are really after Rielle but if they are tracking me I don’t wanna lead them straight to her. So I asked instead if he could see a letter delivered to Mor Dhona; the least I can do is warn them and tell them that I’m staying here a few days. Fray will try to rush here also filled with indignation and that unholy rage of his, but I must persuade him to stay with the Scions. For Rielle’s sake. And mine.

It’s been a few months since the random abduction and as expected Fray was livid. It took Sidurgu practically sitting on him to keep him from running out that door. I tried to tell him I was recovered from it, but he just motioned to his wrists while staring at mine. I still had the bandages on cause I didn’t wanna look at the wound or if any scarring occurred. I got another surprise visit from Haurchefant today he’s been doing this for the past few months. I told him many times before the visits weren’t necessary, he had work just like I did. Surely, they didn’t like it when he kept dropping everything to come and see me. He insists it’s the least he could do I was kidnapped under his supervision. “The world may not care that the warrior of light is a child, but I certainly do. All the more reason I wish you wouldn’t charge headlong into every dangerous thing that you’re told to do.”

“But I'm helping people, Lord Haurchefant. That’s what I want to do with my life. That’s why im a white mage.” He stepped closer and grabbed my hands but was pulled away by Fray, I didn’t even see Sidurgu stand up. They exchanged a few words then Haurchefant turned back to me.

“I see why you travel alone now. You never mentioned your boyfriend was a Dark Knight.” And with that he was rather hastily shown this meeting was over cause Fray picked me up and walked off. I waved to him as we entered dawn’s respite.

“why are they after Rielle? They just kept shoving her photo in my face.” He explained it was a sins of the father ordeal and Rielle was being hunted for his act of heresy. But she shouldn’t be held accountable for him much less when she was born like this. I don’t like this feeling in my chest tryna digest this revelation. Fray took my hand and told me I was getting angry at this. That’s a new one. I rarely get more then upset at something. “no surely you’re mistaken Fray I’m just-” I cut off and slowly put my hands in my lap, tryna find the word for the emotion I was feeling. The silence stretched for a few minutes before I looked back up at him and he spelled out a single word. Anger. It’s not that that I don’t think Rielle deserves this or that I shouldn’t be getting emotional over it, I’m just having a tough time processing.

I have vague memories of that day. The day I finally got angry at something. Now it’s just a regular occurrence. I see Fray always looking at me warily and talking to Sidurgu in what looks like a private manner, probably about me. My vague memories usually come to me in daydreams. I just remember blood, and lots of it. Tons of bodies belonging to Temple Knights were scattered in the harsh snow. I think was covered in blood as well. Sidurgu was there and he looked a little shaken. Rielle was like cowering behind him. And they were looking at me. But I couldn’t tell you why. I still try to stubbornly cling to non-confrontational ways but it’s increasingly difficult given the circumstances of my predicament. Atleast I found all my friends again in this strange land. Today I had to go to some weird city with Alphinaud, so I was like sure. Gotta make sure he’s not getting into anymore trouble. Again. We got to the city after passing through a shanty town and it struck me as odd. This wasn’t like back home in Ul Dah. There was a different feel to this wealth, I don’t know how to explain it. It felt uneasy is what im gonna peg it down as. It has every other requirement for the comparison. Shabby underbelly? Check. Rich people flaunting their wealth? Check. Poor shaming? Big ol check again. I saw all this while Alphinaud was drawing the Miqote couple. I’m a little unnerved by it all like something’s definitely not right here. It’s too……...perfect.

There was a commotion in the uppermost level so we all piled into that room and there on the ground was our Miqote friend. The one that stole from us to get into this city. I rushed forward and Alphinaud followed. Hes bleeding badly from his forearm onto the floor. That’s a nasty gash I wanted to immediately kneel down and heal him but Alphinaud was one step ahead of me. There it is again. That feeling of anger bubbling up in my chest threatening to spill over. Then he went on a spill about how this man has wronged him and I blacked out again. When I had come to, he told me I had tried to lunge at Vauthry and attack him after blacking out. Not that he entirely blames for it. Fray would be yelling at me for getting so upset. He doesn’t like it when I mimic what he does with that sword. I made him swear not to tell Fray anything about these blackouts I keep having, I hate how worried he looks when I tell him. I can’t understand beyond the face value of why he gets so bent outta shape. Face value being attacking people is obviously wrong. On a visit back to the Source I knew what I had to do. I’m an adult now and most importantly this anger isn’t going away or subsiding. It’s only growing in intensity. So I independently picked up Dark Knight. He may hate me for this but I don’t know what else to do.

[pinkykitten]

Hairspray pt. 1

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove x plus size! female reader

Warning: curse words, body-shaming, things get a lil steamy at the end

Specifics: comedy, angst, fluff, romance, chapter fic, race neutral reader, plus size reader, chubby reader, pictures

People: billy hargrove, nancy wheeler, jonathan byers, heather, your dad, your mother, amber (bully, oc) 

Words: 4,089

Summary: Based on Bell’s 2.5k Challenge, @acciosnapes. Being rich was tough. Your parents expected so much out of you; they expected you to be perfect. Owning practically all of Hawkins, Indiana; they perceived themselves to be above everyone else. Having that thinking made you alone, as you were not allowed to hang out with people beneath you. 4th of July of 1985 holds the fair for Independence day. You had feelings for a certain bad boy and if luck comes your way you may tell him the truth and who knows maybe he’ll even ask you to the fair. During those moments though, you will have to endure top secret evil science labs and experiments. You will uncover Hawkins secrets, make friends and who knows maybe break a couple of rules.

Authors Note: y/f/n = your father’s name

y/m/n = your mother’s name

this is the first part of the chapter fics hairpsray. this is for a challenge and i love this so much. i love writing confident plus size characters and readers. the aesthetic was made by me and the beginning to the end of this fic i got inspired by hairpsray 2007 by the start of the movie all the way to miss baltimore crabs number. i put an amber in here like the movie and some quotes and dialogue is taken from the movie hairspray, lets see if u guys can figure it out. anywho i love this hope u love it and im so happy i did this challenge there will be more so check out for this series and im excited to show u guys. yay! 

The summer of 1985. It was hot and sticky outside. The cicadas singing as they made their way near you home. You were excited. You were going to, no matter who tried to stop you, get a job.

It very well likely might not have made sense to anyone. You were rich. Grew up with a golden spoon in your mouth. You never knew life to be hard. Every little thing was given to you, whether it be toys, dresses, makeup, you had it all. At least thats what your parents thought. Your father was basically equal with the Mayor. The two helped each other out with smart work and of course the dirty work. Y/f/n thought you didn’t know but you sniffed out the clues and put them together. You knew your father was no innocent man. He played his cards right to get this money, not earn it. And y/m/n, just followed your father around like a lost puppy. You could see the kindness in her sometimes but she always listened to your father. 

What your parents didn’t know was you were searching for something more important. Something that meant a whole lot to you. Money didn’t matter. You didn’t want that life. You wanted to be independent and be able to make mistakes and live life. Your parents always disciplined you on peers. You were not allowed to be with low lives; people who weren't as successful as your family. But all the friends your parents wanted you to love were snobs and thought so highly of themselves. You wanted to get away from that life. Your whole life was planned out for you. You are forever and always this pretty, perfect sweet girl who follows rules even though sometimes you didn’t feel those things. 

You woke up to the sun beating down on your face. You rolled around on your pastel pink king sized bed. Groaning, as you subconsciously hit your alarm clock but noticing you were awoken before its ring. 

“Hmm, thats never happened before.”

You stretch as you jump out of bed to start your first day of work. You would never tell your parents. They would never understand and probably make excuses to stop you. You were going to try to get hired at Hawkins Community Pool. It was a risky decision based on your size. You were plus sized and adored it! You felt on top of the world most times and never cared what anyone thought. But there were times where you did get down from comments but you still pushed ahead and loved yourself. You were willing to give the lifeguard gig a chance and there was a plus side. Your crush Billy Hargrove was there. You just hoped you could entice him enough to give you a go. 

You scrambled to your feet as you raced to your phone. You dialed your best friend Nancy’s number. You had to keep the relationship a secret. If your parents knew about your friendship they probably would flip. You knew about all the secrets of the kids and Hawkins lab. Nancy felt guilty not telling you so she spilled the beans about everything to you. About Eleven, the monsters, scientists. It sounded unreal but you knew Nancy would never lie to you. 

“Hey Nance, are we still on for the mall today?” You asked, twirling the cable with your fingers. 

On the other side you could hear Nancy struggling, “yep we’re still on. Sorry I’m running late to my first day of work.”

“Oh yeah its today. What are you gonna be doing again?”

Nancy made a yelp as the phone was muffled, “sorry I just slipped putting on my dress.” Just as Nancy said that you could hear Jonathan’s voice in the background. 

“No way!” You squealed. “Did you sleep with Jonathan?”

Nancy giggled, “...sorta...kinda...yeah.”

“You naughty girl!”

“Whatever!”

“Tell him I said hi,” you said.

“Oh my god y/n, you’re unbelievable but I gotta go now.”

“Wait? Are you still coming with me to get my bathing suit?”

“Like I would miss this. Y/n’s first job and pretty much your first time being a independent young lady. Y/n, we’re definitely going to celebrate!” She hanged up the phone and you got dressed for the day. 

You went to the living room and turned on the tv. “Good morning Hawkins, Indiana.” The news man and lady said as they raised their morning cup of coffee to the viewers. 

You skipped around the kitchen finding something to eat. Humming a tune you couldn’t get out of your head as it was a song you made up. 

“I love you Hawkins, and someday when I take to the world, the worlds gonna wake up see. Hawkins and me,” you sang as you were stopped by your father. 

“Why are you so jumpy this morning?” He wore a scowl on his face. 

You shrugged, “nothing in particular dad.” You kissed him on the cheek. Your mother walked in swatting your hand as you were about to make breakfast for yourself. 

“The maids can get it honey,” she said as the maid ran in and got started in cooking you your favorite. 

You rolled your eyes as you got your bag, “you know I think I’ll just eat on the road. I’ll pick up something on the side.”

“Honey, make sure its nothing greasy,” your mother said. “You have to try to back away from foods, remember.”

“You remind me everyday mother.” Your parents always pointed out the fact that you were bigger than most girls your age. They always tried to put you on diets and workouts but nothing worked. It didn’t work because you didn’t want it to work. You were totally fine with your body and wish they could see what you saw. 

Finishing the rest of your corn dog from the food court you awaited on Nancy by the store. Checking your time you knew Nancy was supposed to be here.  

“C’mon Nance, where are you?”

Finally she showed up from around the corner. Her hair all disheveled. It looks as if she was rushed. 

“Hey there best friend...you okay?” You asked, hugging her as she came up. 

She waved your question off. “It can wait. So what are you thinking of getting? Whats your vision?”

“Well,” you said as you entered into the tiny shop. Women of all sizes were there but you can see the look of disappointment on many of the bigger girls faces. There was barely anything there for them. You looked through the clearance for “Big Girls” it read on the sign. “since I have to make a good impression, I’m going to wear something sexy but also professional. I don’t want to look like no stripper.”

Nancy chuckled, “right. Also isn’t this swimsuit for only this time cause you have to wear their red one while you work there.”

“Correct. Like I said though I want them to see I am trying and I am not going to half-as* it.”

“How bout this one?” Nancy said as she brought out a blue one. It had sequins on it; very beautiful. But it was too sexual. The breast area was very much wide and open. The back showed too much butt. “What do you think about this?”

“Don’t get me wrong its super pretty but like I said; I need to look professional. Plus there’s gonna be kids there.”

“I gotcha. Sorry I maybe just want everyone to pass out when they see my friend.”

“Oh I bet everyone will, even if I don’t wear anything sexual. They’re probably gonna be like agghhh an earthquake when they see me walking in and I’ll respond like, you bet b*tch.”

Nancy laughed. 

“How bout this one?” You pulled out a Hawaiian one. It was pretty but more for old ladies and it was boring. 

“Okay yeah sure...for my nana!”

“Well how do you know me and your nana don’t have the same taste?”

“Look you need something more than that. Like you said, making a statement.”

You bit your lip, “man this harder than I thought. I’m kind scared to be honest about doing this. Like I think the last time I ever got this scared was when they announced the new coke.”

Nancy tried her hardest to hold back a giggle, “why are you scared?”

“Picture this, what if a stranger hands me a blunt and you know I’m curious by nature and I accept it? What in the world will Billy think? He’ll probably think I’m like a druggie 24/7!”

“First off, that is the oddest situation I’ve ever heard of. Second, is this your weird way of saying what if Billy doesn’t like you?”

“No I know he’ll like me sexually but I mean platonically. What if he doesn’t want to be like a normal couple and hang out? What if he’s ashamed to be with me? These are good questions.”

Nancy held your hand, “than he’s the jerk I always thought him to be and you’re too good for him.”

You nodded, “I mean I’m too good for him now but in that moment, if he’s a d*ck then I will be 10 times better than him. So any ways...how was work?”

Nancy rolled her eyes and looks down, “I kinda don’t want to talk about it.”

“What? What happened? Am I gonna have to slap a b*tch?” You became territorial and overprotective of your friend.

“No, no, no its just, the men at work sorta treat me like I’m dumb and that I’m not really of use to this type of work. I guess cause they see me as a woman they think they can take advantage of me. They make fun of myey/n. In front of everyone. Its bull sh*t.” Nancy almost looked as if she wanted to cry.

“Hey its okay. This is your first day. People are going to be jack as*es but you listen to me. Whenever any one has talked about me differently or made fun of me because of my weight or whatever I either laugh with them, ignore them, or say something smart back to them. There are ways that we women can stand up for ourselves without having to insult or hurt someone physically.”

“Its just easier said than done. But I’ve got a lead. A lady called me today about diseased rats. I think that maybe this is my chance to be a journalist like I’ve always wanted to be.”

You clapped her on the back, “atta girl. You take that chance. You take it right in your hand and never let it go. No matter what they tell, or do to you; you have the right, the power. Use it Nancy. Use your voice.”

Nancy smiled and picked out an orange swimsuit. You didn’t care if people called you an actual orange; all you saw was perfection. 

“How bout this one y/n?”

“Thats the one Nancy. Its perfect!”

“Hey pancake y/n and Nancy drew,” Amber, your arch nemesis. The bully, the b*tch of the town walked up to you two. Her high heels clicked as they met with the floor. Her skirt was so short you could almost see her goodies from up high. Her makeup was too overdone and her blonde hair was as perfect as Tom Cruise’s abs. She snickered as she saw you hold up your swimsuit to pay. “And you’re gonna wear that? Where are you going? To the Hawkins pool?”

“Yes as a matter of fact I am. Thanks for you looking out for me...Amber.” You said as you walked right by her; nudging her lightly. “Now I don’t wanna get there late so if you excuse me-”

“Oh sorry, too skinny of a space?”

“Amber-” Nancy started but you waved a hand out to her. 

“No its okay Nance. She’s right, it was too skinny for my delicious body.” You shrugged. 

Amber motioned closer to you. Her foot stepping on yours. “Are you going to the pool to see Billy?”

You almost forgot. Rumor had it that Amber was going to try all Summer to get with Billy but so far you heard he was single and you sure as he*l were not going to miss the opportunity. 

“Well I mean I will see him whether I want to or not. He kind works there.”

“I’m not talking about that fat-a*s. I’m saying are you doing all this. Wanting to work there just because he’s there?”

“Wow Amber! I didn’t realize you were my mother. Congratulations! Now shall I tell you about all my business?”

Amber snarled, “I swear to God if you try anything with Billy I will hunt you down. If you think for a moment that he would ever like someone like you? You are completely and utterly stupid. Know your place and be careful... you might stop traffic in that.” Amber chuckled as she walked away. Her butt swaying as she tried to show you she was better than you.

“Yeah well I have a better a*s than you!”

Nancy shook her head as she led you to the register, “C’mon y/n, lets just go.” 

Did that little interaction ever stop you? 

Never! You still went with your plan. Get this job in order to get your Billy. It was plain and simple. And also to prove to yourself and your parents that you can do things on your own and you didn’t need anyone. 

Nancy dropped you off. You got changed in the bathroom and knew it just turned into Billy’s shift. You met with the other kids at the front desk. As they saw you they laughed. “Well, well, well if it isn’t y/n l/n, the rich girl. What can we do you for?”

As you were about to speak one of the boys put his hand up, “I’m sorry but we don’t have any gold bars here at the moment. Maybe you’ll have to ask the President of the United States.”

You glared at the boy and were silent. The boy thought he broke you and you acted very suspicious. Suddenly you laughed, “yeah well maybe I’ll go ask your dad since he seems to pay me every time I’m with him.” You of course knew it wasn’t true. You had never even slept with anyone before heck with his dad. It was all for games. 

The others hollered out loudly at your come back and the boy stood back flushed. 

“Now I want to work here and I think I deserve a resume. I see your sign that you are hiring so what do I have to do here folks?” You clapped your hands. 

A girl named Heather walked by and heard your conversation. “Y/n, right?”

“Thats me.” You shook her hand. 

“Awesome, yeah I remember your call. You wanted a job here?”

“Correct again.”

“Well around here we do things differently. In order to get the job we need to see your walk.”

“My what?”

“Your walk.” The other teens tried to stifle their laughter. “Thats the most important step. We need to see how you walk in order to get to your post.”

“Oh okay for a minute I thought you wanted me to walk on water or something.”

Heather rolled her eyes. “No. I need to see how you do and then we can talk and I can give you a resume.”

“Wait. You’re the one who conducts the interviews around here and stuff like that?”

Heather nodded. Lying.

“Cool so when do I start the walk?”

“Now!” Heather pushed you into the open. 

“Oh okay,” you were shy at first but then conducted yourself. The sun shone on your skin deliciously making your skin glow. You looked at your surroundings. A lot of kids. A chubby kid running, which you knew was a no-no. The other side, near Billy was, “Mrs. Wheeler? What in the world is she doing looking at Billy like that?” You felt anger erupt within you. Yes, you were a little jealous. Even though their relationship was extremely wrong you still felt jealous. You proceeded to walk. Not caring if anything budged out, jiggled, nothing. You felt sexy, beautiful and that’s all that mattered. 

You shook your hips as you walked up to the chair. You had talked to Billy before but never a full out conversation. It was little ones. Billy stood right by the chair, talking to Mrs. Wheeler. As you showed up Billy looked at you straight in the eye. You bit your lip winking at him. Billy then looked all over you, raising his brow. He licked his lips. 

“Hi y/n,” he said all suave; putting his hand out to stop Mrs. Wheeler’s conversation, interrupting her. 

“Hi Billy, hello Mrs. Wheeler.”

Mrs. Wheeler seemed angry so she sat back down in the sun. 

“Well, well, well, what are you doing here?” Billy asked as he leaned against the lifeguard chair. 

“Well I heard y’all were hiring. I saw in the newspaper that they’re making another lifeguard here, coinciding with the first one of course. Heard it gets hectic around here.”

Billy chewed on a toothpick as he came closer to you, smirking. His eyes seeming almost a sea green when it hit the sun. “Yeah it sure does get hectic around here, but I think with you around; things will get more hectic. Trust me.”

“Will it be by your doing?” You got closer as well. Playing his games.

“I don’t know, might be.”

“Got any more bigger girls like me around here?”

“No just the one and only you.”

“Oh so you were looking?” You didn’t mind that he called you bigger or when someone called you fat. It was the truth and you learned to love those words. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Billy asked as his eyes scanned all over you once more. His eyes became lustful. 

“No, I mean you might as well learn what a real woman looks like. I guess I’ll be making history around here. Y/n l/n, the first lifeguard that is really and surely a-”

“Whole lotta woman,” Billy said as his voice came out raspy and more of a moan. 

Your knees were becoming weak. “Thats right.”

“Alright miss making history. Why do you want this job? Aren’t your parents rich? Doesn’t your dad work with the mayor?”

“Yep but I feel as a young lady, I need to learn and live.”

“Don’t worry you’ll learn all those things here; I’ll make sure I’ll teach you.” Billy said as he touched your arm, sending electricity coursing through your veins. 

“So Billy Hargrove will be my lifeguard teacher, huh? Not bad. But...will you ever need to punish me?”

Billy looked shocked as you said that and laughed. He inched closer to you until his plump lips landed on your ear, “only when you’re being a bad girl.”

It took everything out of you not to moan right there. You coughed as you tried to act natural again. Billy got you good. 

“Bashful much?”

“More like turned on,” you muttered not knowing Billy heard as he smiled wide. You turned around and walked straight back to Heather. Your a*s shaking a lot as you walked back making Billy almost have a heart attack. There was no way he was going to go through summer without you. 

“So how’d I do?” You questioned Heather. Excited to hear the news. 

“Well...it was okay.”

“Okay?”

“You weren’t supposed to talk to anyone yet.”

“Um, its a community pool. Everyone's talking.” You said. 

“No we mean when you were talking to Billy. You see a lot of the girls here like him. And we can’t have you jeopardizing their chances and scaring Billy if you know what I mean.” Heather said as she winced. 

Billy had wanted to hear the news about you working here and stood nearby; hearing the whole conversation. 

Your eyes widened, “no I’m sorry I don’t know what you mean?”

“Its just with your rich parents and well your weight for another thing we feel as its just too much...stuff for this job requirement.”

“So you’re basically saying I’m too fat and rich for a small summer job?”

Heather tried not to laugh as the other kids in the office did. You rolled your eyes. “And all this walk and stuff, that was fake too I suppose.”

Heather couldn’t control herself. She bursted out laughing. “You’re totally right! And you fell for it!”

You tried your hardest not to let them get to you. Not to cry. But it was difficult. They embarrassed you, hurt your feelings, rejected you because of your weight and life. You felt like you could get nowhere with them. 

You smiled, “thank you for your time guys.”

“Whatever!” Heather waved you off. 

Billy on the other hand was furious. He knew what it mean to be treated differently and to be hurt. He wanted to stand up for you but he was scared he would lose his job. 

You walked away and Billy walked up to Heather. “Hey, why do you have to be so cruel?”

“Says the guy who literally bullys everyone. What makes y/n any different?”

“Maybe its because she’s not a b*tch. Like some people are.” Billy walked away to get back to work but he could not for the life of him stop thinking about you. You clouded his brain all day. 

You walked home. Thinking about all that was said to you today. You had high hopes of getting the job but now you didn’t know where to go. Crashing onto your bed you cried onto your pillow. Your mother was out shopping with a group of her rich friends and your father was helping the Mayor out with the 4th of July fair. They didn’t care how you felt that day. When someone hurt you. They only cared about themselves. 

Your phone rang and it was Nancy. You sniffled your tears, wiping your face, “hello Nance. Whats up?”

“Hey y/n oh my god you’re not going to believe it! I got a lead on the rats! Me and Jonathan went to go check it out at Mrs. Driscoll. She showed us her basement and all the fertilizer bags had holes in them from the rats. She said that maybe they had rabies and wanted us to notify the public but y/n when I got a good look at these rats it was not like the norm.”

“What do you mean?” You sat up.

“What I mean is that these rats were like having a convulsion. They were acting really strange. Like crazy, I’m gonna investigate more tomorrow and then maybe just maybe the guys at my work will actually take me seriously.”

“You show them! But be careful okay, I don’t want you or Jonathan to loose your jobs. Pursue this story your way.”

“Thanks. Hey what about you? How did things go for your lifeguard summer adventure? And what about Billy? Oh my god did he see you that? He probably had such a big boner-”

“Nancy!” You started to cry again. “I didn’t get the job.”

“What the h*ll do you mean? Do I have to smack a b*tch?”

You chuckled lightly, “no its nothing like that or what I mean is theres nothing you can do. I went in and they pranked me and called me names and pretty much made fun of me saying that I couldn’t work there because I was rich and fat.”

“So? Who the h*ll cares? Jesus, I hate people.”

“Me too, but never you.” You sighed. 

“You know what you do?”

“What Nancy? I tried everything-”

“You try again! Go tomorrow and wear their attire their red swimsuits and show them that you are not playing around. Make them see that you are the woman for the job. You are an amazing person y/n, show them and show Billy.”

You wiped your tears away and got the boost you needed. “You’re right Nance, thanks. I’m gonna keep trying until I have done all that I can.”

“Yeah and if not there is a new mall that you could work at and really anywhere. People would be lucky to have you.”

“Thanks Nancy. You always know how to make me feel better.” You hanged up the phone and got a good nights rest for the next day where you would try your hardest to achieve something you so badly wanted. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @idontknowwhattocallthisworld (wont let me tag)

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

also if you wanna be tagged in the series hairspray, comment :)

[wtfzodiacsigns]

My experience with the signs in my life

Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.

Aries male: very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.

Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.

Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.

Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.

Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.

Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.

Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.

Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.

Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.

Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.

Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.

Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.

Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.

Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.

Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and s*x.

Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.

Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.

Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.

Capricorn male: THE F*CKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.

Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.

Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.

Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.

Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.

Source: tequilastrology

[low-budget-korra]

The Legend Of Korra_Book One : “That’s Dark”

So reviewing TLOK made me not only caught up in the nostalgia of this wonderful and special animated show but also reflected on the journey not only from Korra but also from all Team Avatar.

 (Remembering that all this is just my opinion and some of the various interpretations that I have about the show)

 Book 1 is in my opinion the second best of TLOK and the darkest of all.

And reviewing I think I've noticed why.

Book One is the most "real" of all. All the problems there can be seen in the most different societies.

We have an ideological political clash in an environment where segregation between benders and non-benders is still a reality.

I think the whole atmosphere of Republic City is more dark , so at the very beginning we are introduced to those problems that I honestly think we can all understand. Fear of violence, lack of confidence in figures who hold power, a "savior" who appeals to the fear of this population and take's power, conspiracies for power, politics shit , social inequality , etc

Problems that are real at a international  level. I here in Brazil can feel and understand this in the same way as a person who whatch’s the show in Canada. I think 

Not to mention the urban colors and shades of grey and brown more saturated and not so bright (especially at night) , showing that the city is kind of a trap, something “Too good to be true." Its beautiful and scary at the same time.

So we have Korra, who in book one has 17 years (the same age as I when i started to watch the series) and as it is visible in her’s first moments, is that she has the “spirit of a kid”.

I think the expression "kid's mind in a Woman's Body" can define the Korra in Book One. She is naive, immature, spoiled, a bit arrogant, very self-confident, playfull...

I think it was one of the things that enchanted me in her and undoubtedly was what made me connect with her, because I was also, especially,  naive as she.

Korra comes with the glare for just being at Republic City, that childish naivete of thinking that everything will work fine, without consequences.

And it is precisely when she, for the first time, is confronted with the possible consequences of the  fight that she has just entered, she breaks. But before we talk more about Korra, let's talk about her nemesis here, Amon.

 Amon is a white and heterosexual man representing the patriarchy .... lmao im joking, or not...

Anyway, Amon ... The way he uses to subjugate and dominate his enemies, the violation he makes to achieve this ... I find it almost impossible not to parallel this with cases of sexual violence. Amom takes some of these people for himself, he forces something into them, they get devastated and depressed after losing the benders to him and also they look kinda of feeling humiliated by that.

So we have the terrible and beautiful  episode :"The Voice in the Night". Here we see  this 17 year old girl, absolutely terrified by the idea of ​​confronting this man who must be in his late 30′s.

I think that when Korra saw what Amon was capable of , it was the first time in her life when she felt truly afraid. And for us girls, being afraid of a man, especially when walking alone in the night , sadly still is a reality.

Anyway, going back to the show ...

After being coerced to fight on the front line against the Equalists for Tarrlok ( I will speak of him soon), Korra gains confidence and in her naiveness, invites Amon to a duel.

Amon not only arrives late as he is disloyal and does not come alone. An adult man ambushes a 17-year-old girl in a dark place with the help of his crew ... Man, this is dark ! And all the lighting and animation of the final scenes of the episode are excellent because it resembles more a horror story than a kid’s show.

The way they hold her on her knees, making her so small in comparation to him, who looks even more frightening. But not only this, because “be on knees” historically and culturally associated with submission and she was forced to be in that position. The way Amon holds her face makes it clear that the avatar was totally impotent since her rival had already crossed the “touch barrier” by touching her face.  The Touch for many people is something intimate and touch someone face is not only something more intimate but also associated with caring and love. And this motherfucker just crossed this line 

Amon accepted the challenge with the goal of destroying the Avatar independent of who she was. And thats terrible and scary, but also, so real for so many people.

After he leaves, Tenzin arrives and  ask if everything is okay and all. Korra then says that she still has her bendings and finally opens with him over her fears as she cries in his arms.

Then after, we have an episode more focused on love triangle and comedy. Cause its a kids show right?

 How will Korra deal with Amon now that she has already lost the first battle?

Honestly I dont think she overcame her fears there, I think she just buried them for the greater good that was defeating him. Something like “im scared as fuck but im gonna do it anyway”. And you need to be brave to do that

And after losing her bendings to the enemy in the final episode, when her worst nightmare comes true , she has nothing left to lose. And in desperation to save her friend and crush from going through what she had just been through, Korra discovers she can airbend. And this new wave of confidence makes her defeat Amon at his own game, exposing him as the fraud he is. But is that enough? I see later that she still suffering for losing all the other bendings, she’s still broken until Avatar Aang pass by to say “hey” and give her all the bendings back

(This scene had me on tears)

Tarrlok is a character that I just did not like. And guys since he saw Korra, he directed all the attention to her.

Of course he wanted to use her to climb the ladder and take Republic City's political power for himself. But seriously ... I know that maybe you find yourself thinking "Damn, you will put sexual subtext and sexual interpretation where they do not have". But listen to me.

Tarrlok is an older man who does not accept Korra’s "no" for his partnership proposals.

Then we have the episode where her confrots him by the arrest of her friends. Of course Tarrlok used the bloodbend on her cause she was ready to burn his ass down.

And it is logical that he would disappear with her so she does not unmask him to everybody. Now, though it seemed like something got at the moment, Tarrlok had it all ready. The place where Korra would be taken  and where he kept her arrested .

Of course, the most obvious answer is that the place might have been prepared to receive Amon, though he did not know that he was a bender so he did not need that metal box because a normal cell would work, but with all that happened , Tarrlok had this change of plans. I think he may think that she could bring problems to his plans and the let this as plan B

But then an now unmasked and hunted by Republic City police force and just before Amon invades the place, he tells Korra that he will run away and that he will take her as his hostage.

But why? If he had hated her for ending his plans, he could just leave her there to die of hunger / thirst. Not to mention that, Korra would definitely fight and delay him in his escape, so why take her ?

Another thing, Amon wouldnt hurt Korra, he doesnt even saw her as a person, he only saw the symbol, the Avatar and that must be destroyed but all costs. Tarrlok in other hand wants to use the symbol but also know the person behind, he knows the 17old Korra and would hurt her if he has to.

The politics, the intimidation, the haressament, the fear, the power dinamics between those 3 characters...

 **

Mako and Bolin do not have much development in book One . Mako is the love interest and Bolin is the comic relief.

 **

Asami has a very remarkable moment. She has to choose between her father and what is right.

And the Fire Ferrets certainly helped her in that choice. Especially Mako, Asami's mother was killed by benders, probably fire benders cause they kinda murder people parents sometimes, and Mako is a firebender. So relating to him might have knocked over all the rest of prejudice and anger she may have for benders until that.

This arc between Asami and her father is also about the loss of innocence. In that case, lose the innocence of thinking that our parents cant be bad people.

And even more, from then on, Asami is shaped much more like someone who makes right choices in difficult times, even if those choices are heart-breaking.

 **

Tenzin leaves his comfort zone. He will train Korra, who is someone who almost totally contradicts who he is. And right away, we see that he is an excellent teacher. All your patience, your diplomacy is inspiring and will certainly help to make Korra the most conscientious and mature woman at the end of book four.

He also has tough choices, and shows himself steadfast in them, doing everything to protect his family and friends.

 **

Lin, there's a moment I think is incredible. When she sacrifices herself to save Tenzin's family. Lin does not flee the fight. Just like her mother, she is determined in her goals. And we have more depth development  in Book 3.

**

In another post i will talk about the book Two cause this is already too big.

So i believe one of the main sub themes or simple stuff that i can see on book One is the Loss Of Innocence 

[johnnysnostril]

You’ve Always Been Mine

chapter 14

`jooheon

sitting on the couch, i sank into the cushions and closed my eyes. this wasnt right. this wasnt how i pictured everything. i couldnt believe that wonho was sneaking around with the girl that i loved. how could she even allow him to do so. i pulled out my phone, trying to call nori’s new number. i sighed as it went straight to voicemail. she probably hasnt even turned it on yet.

i looked up from my phone, seeing hyungwon walk out into the living room, sitting next to me.

“you did on number on your knuckles there.” he said point down to my hand. i glanced down and noticed all my knuckles were bruised and red.

“i guess.” i said looking out towards the window. “why are you so angry?“ he asked as he crossed his legs.

i snapped my head back in his direction.

“im not angry- and im not having this conversation.” i said getting up from the couch. i went straight into my room, slamming the door and falling onto my bed.

“I TOLD YOU SO.” kihyun shouted through the wall.

`shownu

pulling up to the hotel, wonho and i got escorted up to the suit. we greeted the bodyguard then he knocked gently, waiting for an answer. misun slowly drew back the door- peaking through the crack before greeting us with a weak smile.

“hi.” she said almost to a whisper. she quickly glanced over at wonho- who had a patch on his nose, and dried up blood on his busted lip.

“bless your heart, please come in. i’ll make you guys some tea.” she said pulling the door completely open.

wonho took a seat on the couch, as misun started the tea.

“where’s nori?” i asked, taking off my jacket and joining her in the kitchen. she exhaled softly and nodded over to the bathroom. “bathing. i dont think she wants to be bothered.” misun turned around and placed her hands on her hips, leaning back against the counter.

“will you please explain whats happening?” her expression was full of worry.

i pulled her into a hug, shutting my eyes and sighing. she wrapped her arms around my waist, slipping her hands underneath my shirt to rub my back.

“im a tough girl, i can handle this. i just need to know that we’re safe here.” she whispered into my chest.

i nodded.

“i would never take you somewhere you’re not safe. wonho and i are staying with you guys tonight.”

she nodded and pulled back a bit to look up at me.

“something else happened-” she said searching for my eyes. “your energy is different.”

i was confused on how to tell her, that tomorrow- i would have to tell the entire world, that she was my girlfriend. i hadn’t even officially asked her yet. this situation was taking that away from her. she didnt deserve to be thrown into this.

i looked down at her, lifting my hand to push her hair back then kissed her forehead.

fuck it. i’ll just do it now.

“misun- tomorrow, a lot of changes will be happening. involving you and nori, but also- you and i.” i started.

the worry grew in her eyes.

“i never pictured this moment in this exact way- but, it doesn’t matter now. whatever happens, i dont ever want you to feel like you’re second to anything. you’ll always be top priority. no matter what. misun, will you officially be my girlfriend?”

her eyes slightly widened and she tilted her head a bit. a small smile appeared on her lips, and i could see a few tears starting to form in her eyes. her brows furrowed and she slowly nodded her head.

“of course- i would love to.” she whispered before taking a deep breath.

my smile now matched hers and she laid her head on my chest. i squeezed my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

“tomorrow, i’ll have to announce our relationship.” i said softly.

her head shot up.

“so soon?” she questioned. i nodded. “come, sit.”

i grabbed her hand, taking her over to the couch where wonho was waiting. i sat down, then pulled her on my lap.

“when we got back to the dorm, our manager was waiting for us.” i began.

“you guys got in trouble, oh my god.” misun covered her face with her hands.

“babe- everything will be fine. i promise.” i said taking her hands. i gently placed a kiss on her knuckles and laced our fingers.

“someone took a picture of you and i, kissing.” i said rubbing her hand with my thumb. “that’s why, this all has to be so soon.”

i gave her a minute to process everything. for a moment, it looked like she was trying to solve a really hard math problem. she finally sighed and stood to her feet, releasing her hands from mine.

“okay.” she said nodding. “okay?” i shot back in questioning.

misun made her way back to the kitchen and i watched her for a moment before following her. she turned off the tea, grabbing three cups. as she poured, i held her waist.

“i know this is all so sudden. its okay to feel scared, misun.” i said softly. “it’s normal.”

she was quiet for a moment.

“fine- im terrified.” she said finally, slamming her hands on the counter.

i looked over at wonho, who got the hint about excusing himself. he silently made his way to the balcony and shut the door.

i exhaled and turned her body around to face me.

“i will not let anyone, hurt you or nori.” i cupped her cheeks and looked down at her. “you guys will always be protected. i know this is a big title for you and everything is happening so quickly- but i got you.”

i flashed her a reassuring smile and she shut her eyes.

“what am i going to do about my job?” she whispered. “i wont be able to work there anymore after all this is released.”

i thought for a moment.

“you could just let me take care of you.” i said tilting my head and chuckling a bit.

i knew that wasnt going to work for her though. she was strong, and independent. she didnt need me to take care of her. even though, i wanted nothing more- than to do so.

she folded her arms across her chest. “i dont need you to take care of me, shownu. im a grown woman.”

i laughed.

“i know, babe- at least let me take care of you- until you find something else that you wanna do. deal?” i said backing up a little extending my hand.

she glanced down at my fingers then back at me, before shaking my hand.

`nori

wrapping a towel around my body, i exhaled deeply and smiled to myself a bit. that bath was really needed. it calmed me, and put me in a better place to think.

gathering my clothes, i exited the bathroom. shutting the door behind me- i noticed shownu and misun in the kitchen. “oh, hi.” i said tightening my towel, embarrassed.

shownu turned his head and chuckled before covering his eyes with his hands. “hi, nori.”

“sorry.” i said slightly laughing. i ran off to my room and shut the door behind me.

i quickly dried off my body, putting my bra back on- then covered myself with the hotel robe. i tied it loosely around my waist as i walked over to the windows, taking in the view. as i turned my head, i noticed wonho- standing by himself on the balcony, slightly leaning on the railing. i smiled while i watched him. he almost looked like he was at complete peace. i gently knocked on the window, making him turn his head in my direction. i instantly noticed the bandage on his nose and frowned. i waved and so did he.

i held up my index finger, signaling him to wait for a moment and he nodded. i released my hair from its bun and fluffed it a little before sliding on the complementary slippers- making my way out towards the balcony.

as i shut the sliding door, the night wind tossed my curls off my shoulder.

“hi.” i said weakly. wonho opened his arms, where i felt more than welcomed. i hugged him for a bit and he slowly rubbed my back. his chest was very muscular. it felt different from hugging jooheon. he was warm and the smell of his cologne was soft, but strong. it made me smile.

as i pulled away, i examined his face. he must have been a mind-reader, cause he instantly started laughing.

“it doesnt hurt. it looks a lot worse then it is.”

how could he be so happy, right now? his member- who’s supposed to be like a brother to him, clearly broke his nose. not to mention, busted his lip.

i sighed and looked down.

“im so very sorry for all of this. its all my fault.” i said walking up to the railing. i looked out towards the city- wondering what jooheon was thinking about, right now.

“it’s really not. you didnt do anything.” he said joining me. wonho stood so close to me, that i could feel the heat coming from his body.

“i just dont understand how we got here, ya know?” i said looking at him. his eyes were already on me and he was chuckling.

“what’s so funny?” i said turning my body in his direction. he looked out towards the view and shrugged.

“i guess im just having a hard time comprehending why you picked jooheon- out of all people?”

his eyes met mine, once again- and i almost got lost for a second. 

`wonho

nori was quiet for a moment. her eyes never left mine though. i wanted to be honest with her- tell her what i was really thinking, in this exact moment.

“i just think you deserve better, thats all.” i said confidently. 

a small laugh released from her throat.

“if i didnt know any better, i would say you’re trying to flirt with me- mr. hoseok.” she said folding her arms across her chest.

“you’re the one who came out here with a robe on. if i didnt know any better, i’d say that you’re trying to seduce me.” i stood up straight, looking down at her and lifted my brows.

she snickered and rolled her eyes, playfully.

“it’s the only thing i have right now.”

she pushed my shoulder back and i laughed. it felt good to see her smile. havent see it in awhile.

“here- i’m sure this would do a better job of keeping you warm tonight, anyway.” i grabbed the bottom of my hoodie, lifting it over my head- slightly exposing my abs on purpose. i playfully tossed the garment on her head and she laughed.

pulling at the sleeves, it fell in her hand and her smile faded.

“i dont think i should take this.” she admitted. i tilted my head a bit.

“im not sure if its respectful to jooheon.” she looked up at me, with sadness in her eyes.

“it’s not like im giving you a ring and asking you to marry me.” i chuckled. “besides, being respectful- is the last thing on jooheon’s mind when it  comes to you. so i dont think you should worry about any of that.” i leaned my back against the railing. “its just a hoode.”

“im not accepting a no from you, nori. just take it.”

she shut her eyes for a moment then nodded.

`nori

the weather changed very quickly from the time i shut my eyes, back to opening them. the sky became darker and we could smell the rain.

“we should go back inside.” wonho said softly.

he placed his palm on the small of my back, as i walked into the suit, him following behind me.

shownu and misun were still in the kitchen talking, as we approached them.

“well, its been a very long night- to say the least. i think im just gunna go to bed now.” i said sighing. misun nodded and made her way over to me, giving me a hug. “goodnight, i love you.” she said squeezing me. “i love you too!”

i said goodbye to shownu and hugged wonho, then made my way to my bedroom.

later that night

i laid in bed as the rain drops hit the window hard. i was tucked under the sheets, in wonho’s sweater. i did feel a little awkward, i must admit. i didnt have on any underwear. i defiantly wasnt going to put the liquor stained ones on, and i was in the room by myself.

thats okay right?

thunder crashed through the sky and i jumped, throwing the blanket over my head.

god, i hated weather like this. i really hated being alone at times like these.

i didnt wanna wake misun- im pretty sure she was exhausted. i slowly removed the blanket from my head and sighed. my stomach instantly started growling. i groaned and sat up.

“but theres no food here.” i said talking to myself. i glanced over at the clock.

2:48am

room service is defiantly out of the question. getting up from the bed, i glanced at my clothes on the floor. i scrunched up my face and pouted at the thought of putting last nights underwear on.

it’s fine- im sure wonho and shownu were long gone. its just misun and i- plus, i wont even show my body when i speak to the guard at the door, when i ask him to send someone for food.

i slipped on the underwear, instantly regretting it- as the smell of liquor took over my nose. as i opened the door slowly, i peaked out into the dark hallway.

making my way through, i stopped in the kitchen to double check the fridge.

“cant sleep either?”

i jumped, slamming the fridge shut and looked out into the living room.

wonho was sitting on the couch, smiling over at me.

“what are you still doing here?” i said pulling down his sweatshirt. it hit me just before my thighs, so i felt really exposed.

“oh, uh- shownu didnt tell you that we were staying?” he asked. i shook my head.

“you scared me.” i said breathing a little heavy. my heart was beating fast and i placed my palm over my chest.

he flashed a smile as he got off the couch.

“im sorry- i didnt mean to.” he slipped his hands in his pockets and lifted his brows. “you hungry?” he questioned.

“uh- just a little..” i said trying to hide behind the counter. he laughed at my actions. 

“you dont have to hide. i know how to control myself, nori.” 

[sanguinarius-archive]

uh so im about to discuss about salvis aka sal x travis (and no its not going to be me calling it problematic and im not gonna bash you if you like it, im going to be explaining the flaws that come with the ship regarding the canon character dynamic) so click read more if youre up for it!

warning for mentions of abuse, internalized homophobia, uhh i think thats it

alright so a lot of people tend to think that when someone tries to explain the little issues with a ship that its because theyre defending their own ship they like. and... for me? no, thats not the case. yeah i dont ship sal x travis but im not going to say i dont or argue why just because i prefer my own ship over it. thats a bullshit reason and we all know it.

as a victim of abuse and self-insecurity i completely understand what travis has gone/is going through. he cant accept that he likes boys. he’s been raised to think that its sin, that its disgusting and that the one person or being who he ever felt has truly heard his cries, aka god, hates him now. and i understand if you have been through that situation yourself and therefore you project onto him, and youre someone who has a tough time dealing with issues independently. i understand completely. as i said, ive been there before.

but i personally dont think it’d work to ship travis with, not just sal, but anyone in general. he’s a character who still has a lot of development. what he truly needs right now is a friend, and yes, i understand thats what a lot of you are trying to go for, but its hard to not see undertones of them (travis and sal) being shipped in your content. travis has been physically harmful towards sal and has harassed him and his friends. and while that is because he deals with being abused himself, causing him to not really know how to deal with his emotions, he still knows and is aware that what hes doing is wrong. hell, in the note (who im assuming is for sal) he says hes crazy about him. and then he goes to tell him he doesnt actually hate sal. so he knows what hes doing is wrong.

and can he control his anger? probably not. and thats okay, i understand that. but again as someone who has been abused and has taken out my own issues on others in different ways, ive come to learn that its inexcusable. no matter what form of abuse youve been through, no matter what mental illness you deal with, no matter what, you have to learn that taking out your problems on others in any sort of way is damaging and does not help you heal and grow from your issues.

and i think a lot of people tend to subconsciously make sal a big part of travis’ “redemption arc” in fanon content. i do acknowledge the fact that sal has said he forgives travis and is willing to befriend him, and understands that his home life is tough, but he should not be playing such a huge role in travis being redeemed. adding a relationship to travis does not erase his current issues, it only worsens them because now he has a relationship added on top of the abuse he endures from his father and his still-healing internalized homophobia. its just not healthy in that way. i dont see it working.

a lot of people tend to think especially in characters that a redemption arc is easy, that with characters you can just change them completely like the flick of a light-switch. but with how real and raw sally face is, its important we try and take travis being redeemed very slowly and steadily. he has to accept himself, first and foremost, with the occasional help from sal and his friends. he has to learn that he is not a disgusting person for loving who he loves and that with time he will get better, he just has to set initiative to that. then he has to find out how he can tackle the abuse he endures from his dad. worst comes to worst, he doesnt find a very complete way of healing from his abuse and simply runs away or turns his back on his father. and you know what? thats okay, because as long as he can escape it one way or another, and have time to heal afterwards, its okay.

it isnt easy to accept yourself while being abused at the same time. and like i said i think a lot of you tend to subconsciously make sal play a huge role in travis becoming a better person, when really, sal should only be there for small bits of advice or when travis is in desperate need of comfort. travis needs a friend, nothing more, nothing less. he doesnt need a relationship because that only adds to the problems he faces already. travis is a good character and id personally love to see him be redeemed in the last episode (aka the next episode), but i want him to be able to do that on his own.

as i mentioned before i am someone who has had a very hard time coming to terms with who i am in the past, and i have been a victim of abuse. i know how hard it is to heal and to grow, and trust me it takes a very long time. its never easy. and if you are a victim of abuse or you have dealt with/are dealing with internalized homophobia or whatever it may be, and you ship travis with sal or whoever, thats okay. i understand if its a comfort for you and a way for you to project. but you know what? in reality, unfortunately, a relationship like sal x travis, with the past dynamic theyve had, it most likely wouldnt work. it would only cause more trouble and probably for both sides.

im not hating on the ship, i just want to speak out about the flaws it has. im not discouraging anyone from shipping it, im only letting you know that it wouldnt be the Healthiest with how their dynamic is. im not willing to argue on this or start a bunch of discourse. i just thought this would be an interesting topic to make a post about.

if youve made it up to here, thank you for reading, i appreciate it and i hope you took something from it. again im not hating. i kinda think itd be cute too if they didnt have the dynamic they have in canon. but because they do have that kind of dynamic its just not good realistically.