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#“and if you don't love me now (you don't love me now) you will never love me again”
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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery
Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3
tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood
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Bisuke: Gai's Back!
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Gai: GRAAH!
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Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,
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Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?
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Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.
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Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then
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Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!
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Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry
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Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.
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Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.
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Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners
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Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it
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Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...
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Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.
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Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"
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Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]
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Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?
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Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken
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Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that
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servicpop · 3 days
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thick thighs saves lives kuroo x bottom m reader — random thoughts
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Kuroo has thick thighs. You can see them ripple everytime he jumps, squats to recieve a ball, or dives. He knows its your guilty pleasure. Kuroo never really understood why or how you found his legs so attractive but in all honesty he didn't mind.
So naturally, occasionally during sex he'll incorporate a little thigh action.
When you're settled in between his legs, your knees digging into the wooden floors of his bedroom, he'll lock your head between his thighs, crossing one over the other to firmly lock you in. It gets him off with the way your hands grip at his legs, holding them for stability as you choke around his cock. And when Kuroo gets close, he'll involuntarily tighten his legs around your head, burying your face close enough that your nose tickled against his dark pubes.
He always makes sure that after he comes, he gently massages your head, easing any tension he mightve accidentally put on you.
Kuroo loves your body in general but sometimes he finds himself fixating on your thighs. Now he understands why you're so obsessed with his.
When you're laying on your stomach, face smushed into the pillow with your knees up against the mattress and your back makes a nice arch, Kuroo loves just holding you by your thighs, sliding his palms to curl underneath them. He can tilt you up by gently lifting your thighs so he can angle himself better to hit right where you see stars.
" Hm? Feels good right? " He questions even though he knows damn well you can reply to him from your face being planted into the pillow. Kuroo loves how his fingertips leave dents in your flesh, the more he grips. " Attaboy, taking me so well, " he groans moving his hands from your thighs to your hips, slamming himself into you repeatedly.
Oh and don't even get him started on when you get overstimulated, your plush thighs shutting close whenever it feels too much for you. He has to pry them open by slipping his hand in between them and pulling them apart. He'll even nip at the skin, causing you to flinch and spread open for him.
Kuroo's not above corny writing on your thighs either. He grabs a dark marker, flipping you over and writing on the back of each of your thighs. " Kuroo's property " is what he writes with an arrow pointing upwards. You do it too, except you just doodle random shapes and animals on his legs. The muscle makes a stable canvas for you to draw on! (They also make great pillows)
a/n : we need more kuroo fics ... please !
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smutoperator · 1 day
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I Love Her Smile
Kim Jiwon (Jeewon) x Male Reader
Tags: ass eating, belly bulging, big tits worship, bikini, bouncy boobs, creampie, cup, cute smile, deepthroating, (lots of) facefucking, motorboating, pile driver, queefing, riding, titfucking, spit, vibrator
Word count: 3739
After filming the music video for Cignature's latest comeback, Jeewon seemed tired. Being the milking cow of a small company while carrying such a heavy load can be quite burdensome. But even after such an exausting routine, she managed to always smile.
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You met Jeewon after the filming, asking her about how she felt. "I'm good, but a little tired; how about you?" she asked. "I'm fine; better now with you. I love your smile, Jeewon," you replied.
"I wasn't born yesterday; I know what you mean by that," Jeewon said. "Well, you're such a tease I had to notice," you said back. "Indeed, I live off that," she continued.
"Then stand up and show me what you mean by that," you told her. Jeewon understood the assignment, shaking her body left and right and making her beautiful milkers swing. "Perfect, they are so beautiful," you told her. Indeed, Jeewon's massive tits never ceased to amaze you, no matter how often you had seen them. That outfit they gave her for the video made Jeewon look sexier than ever, and you were enjoying it to the fullest.
"Shake them harder, tease me," you ordered to Jeewon, who obliged. Her small bra could barely hold her fully natural 34 double-D cup tits in place, and that got truer with all her shaking. Jeewon felt her nipples start to slip and tried to cover them as an instant reaction, but it was futile.
Jeewon laughed and bounced her boobs up and down. Her bra wasn't enough to hold them in place for long, with her right tits popping up first. She kept shaking them until they were on full display. "Good girl, that's what I'm talking about," you told her.
"That was fun," Jeewon smirked at you. "Keep teasing me; put your bra back and flash them," you told her, who does that before letting them fully free. "I could do this all day for you," she said. "But weren't you tired?" you asked her. "Yeah, but I love the attention you give to my tits," she said.
"Well, you're such a cute, sexy girl, Jeewon. I'll give you all the attention; better if you take those jeans off," you tell her. "Sure," she says, pulling her pants down and showing the lower part of her bikini. "It's all for you; we didn't film it in the music video because it hardly covers anything," she said.
"If it barely covers anything, you should just pull them to the side," you told Jeewon, who quickly followed, spreading her ass cheeks for you to see her holes. "We're just getting started," she said. "Indeed we are; take those panties off next," you ordered. "Hmmm nice, your ass is winking already; I can't wait to put my tongue in there," you told her.
"You're such a naughty boy," Jeewon told you. "Yes, I am," you said back. "You told me you were tired; you should sit on this chair and let me please you," you continued. "Of course," she said.
Jeewon sat on the char as you started massaging her bare boobs, then kissed them and licked her nipples. Alternating between the boobs, your tongue perfectly worshipped them. "Shake them into my face," you asked. Jeewon grabbed her udders close together, and you started motorboating her, much to her enjoyment. 
"Lube your tiddies," you told Jeewon, giving her a bottle to pour the liquid all over it. "Shake them for me, my baby," you said. Her lubed tits made for a much easier massage, as you quickly took advantage and easily slid your hands back into Jeewon's udders, clapping them against each other and enjoying the sound.
"Everything is better with lube," Jeewon says. "You know what's better? Your tits shaking in my face," you replied, starting another round of motorboating, this time with Jeewon going much faster. After she was done, you groped one of her tits while sucking the other like a needy baby.
"You like that, don't you?" you asked her. "Yes, I love it," Jeewon said, showing you her big, btight smile. "Shake them harder in my face," you told her. Jeewon amplified the intensity as your head was hit left and right by her huge milkers, and you loved it. So did Jeewon, who couldn't stop laughing.
"Hmmm, how much of those tiddies can I fit in my mouth?" you asked her, bringing them together and getting your face buried deep in her udders. "They can barely fit, I see," Jeewon laughed. Sometimes she tried to hide, but there was truly no point; her boobs are huge, and she loves getting them worshipped. "Your mouth is so good in my tiddies," Jeewon said as you kept kissing and grabbing them, even slapping yourself with them. 
"Let me spin it around and show where else my mouth can be good," you told her, spinning the chair hard to get Jeewon's ass in front of your face. You were so excited you ended up missing the mark and almost making her fall off. "Wow, you really want it," she said. "Yes, I do; put your ass close to my face," you replied.
"For all the talk about your tiddies, you sure got a nice ass too, Jeewon. Can you make your butt wink for me?" you asked, making her laugh. "How does a butt wink?" she asked. "Well, whatever, as long as you're ready for my tongue," you said, diving it into Jeewon's butthole with fast stabbings inside her pink anus.
Jeewon started moaning and grabbed your head to push it deeper into her ass. "Ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh, you tongue it so good," she said. "Lean forward and let me spit on it," you said, sniffing and eating her tiny butthole. "So, do you like my tongue in your ass?" you asked. "I love it," she said.
A few more minutes of eating ass and Jeewon moaning ensued as you tongue-fucked her. "You taste so good," you told her, following with spinning sessions with the chair where your mouth went from her anus straight to her big tits and then back to her asshole. "Which one do you like better, how I grab your tits or how I eat your ass?" you asked. "Can't decide; both are so good," she said back.
You went back to her tits for a bit, pinching her nipples and slapping them against each other. "I just love that sound, making a milkshake with them," you said. "Now let me get back in that ass," you said, getting your tonguing more intense and Jeewon's moans louder. "Oh my God," she said as you were committed not to spare a single inch of her anus without cleaning. 
"Ohhhh, ohhhhh, you eat my ass so good," Jeewon says, with lots of moans in between. "Then hold my head and push it against it," you replied. Jeewon shaken her ass with your face making noise between her cheeks, mimicking the motorboating you gave to her tits moments ago.
"Yeah, that's perfect, ahhhh," Jeewon enjoyed every second of your tongue in her ass. "You look amazing; it seems like you're ready to suck some cock," you told her. "I'd love to," she replied.
Jeewon unzips your trousers and gets shocked by your hard cock already popping out. "So big," she says, measuring it against the bottle of lube you gave her and finding out it's got the same length. Jeewon starts sucking it using no hands and getting very sloppy from the start. "Spit all over my cock," you tell her.
It doesn't take long before you grab her head and start pushing your shaft deeper into her throat, making Jeewon almost choke on it, spitting more saliva once she gags. She quickly recovers and starts blowing it off again, making a lot of noise. 
"Are you ready to get facefucked?" you ask her. Jeewon nods positively. "Then come here," you say, grabbing her head and pounding her sloppy throat a few times as a test. "I love all that spit dripping from your face," you say, as Jeewon uses it to lube your shaft and suck it deeper, her udders bouncing hard as you fuck her face.
"Drool on it, baby," you tell as you can't stop fucking Jeewon's cute face, hitting the depth of her throat until she coughs again. Her face is already full of saliva, as you let her jerk your dick as well. "You're such a good cocksucker, aren't you?" you praise her blowjob skills.
"God, I love how much spit is falling into your chest," you tell her as you don't stop fucking her face, taking it balls deep as a string of saliva forms from Jeewon's chin up to her tits. "Shake those tits if you want to suck my cock," you tell Jeeewon, who moves them left and right after. "Perfect, just like that," you tell her.
Jeewon savors your meat to the fullest as you treat her throat like her second pussy. "Get it all the way down your throat," you tell her, but she struggles with your massive length, quickly gagging after a few tries. "I can't; it's just so fucking big.".
"Open your mouth wide," you tell Jeewon as you keep sticking your cock in it and enjoy the bulging under her cheek, giving it a couple strikes. "Holy shit, my boobs are full of saliva," she says as she shakes them, and you start the hardest round of facefucking on her. The only thing better than a smile in her face was your cock stuffing it.
"Play with your pussy while you suck my cock," you order to Jeewon, handing her one of those gigantic magic wand vibrators, which she turns on and places between her legs. Your facefucking is so sloppy; she's got saliva running all the way down her belly now, and the louder the vibrator gets, the harder you fuck her face.
Jeewon starts to moan louder as her pussy gets massaged; between it and your thrusts in her mouth, she can barely hold the vibrator as her legs get weaker. "Good girl making that big cock wet enough to hop on it," you praise her. "Yes, I'm ready to ride this," she says.
"Not yet," you tell Jeewon as she gags on your cock. "Slap those tits against my cock," you order as Jeewon brings them up together and starts hitting your pole from both sides. "Perfect, now let me spank your tiddies," you say, slapping your hard shaft against her milkers as she once again gives you that big smile you love so much.
"Squeeze that cock," you ask Jeewon, who presses your shaft between her big tits. It's so girthy she can barely squeeze them together. After such a long time, finally a cock worthy of her massive boobage. You push it up and down her tits, like a sausage making its way between a pair of hot dog buns.
You don't hold back, giving Jeewon the hard titfucking her massive udders deserve. "Open your mouth, lick that cock while I destroy those big tits," you tell her. Jeewon loves it, licking your tip like a maniac every time it emerges out of her milkers. "Keep your mouth open," you say, thrusting so hard that instead you actually end up missing it multiple times.
You lay down and let Jeewon be in control. As she squeezes your cock so hard, only your tip now pops out of her tits. "Oh yeah, that's so good," you tell her. "My tits are so soft and wet; look how easily they slide between your cock," she says.
However, it doesn't take long for your primal instincts to take over. "Let me tittyfuck you, bitch," you say as you start thrusting up Jeewon's huge melons in full speed. Her big heart now forms a heart-shaped (or pussy-shaped, a few would say) hole that your cock passes through. Jeewon keeps it well lubed with some spits, as you slide between her boobs fairly easily.
You take a little break and let Jeewon bounce those boobs up and down your dick like a maniac, with a few cocksuckings in between. Jeewon then stops and starts deepthroating your cock. "Do it; get it as wet as you can for your pussy," you tell her. Jeewon does just as you ask, coating your cock full of spit for a couple minutes. "Don't use your hands, just bob your head all the way down my balls," you tell her. Jeewon goes deeper and deeper until she finally gags.
"Are you ready to ride me now?" you ask Jeewon. "YESSSSS!" she enthusiastically says, her big smile back on her face. Jeewon doesn't take long to sit on your pole. "Ohhhhh," you groan as her tight pussy squeezes your walls. Jeewon herself is impressive, as she takes your full length. "Oh my God, Oh My God, fuck," she says as soon as she starts bouncing on it.
Jeewon quickly turns into a mess; your wet cock easily slides up and down her pussy, and her boobs are now jiggling nonstop. "God damn it, you're so fucking big," she says, but never stopping the ride.
"Choke me, yessss, ahhhhhh," Jeewon moans as you make it harder on her. Your hips clap hard against her butt every time she descends down it. You give her a little test as you push your cock up while choking her, making her laugh full of joy as she quickly regains control of the ride.
"Oh my God, you're so fucking deep inside me," Jeewon says as she can't stop moaning. You now grope her big tits, much to her enjoyment. "OH YES, OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," she rapidily screams. "Lean forward a bit," you order to her, taking her massive udders in your mouth while she bounces on your dick.
Jeewon's pussy quickly starts tightening the longer she goes with her ride. You grab her waist and push her body down your hips. "AHHHH FUCKKKK, YESSSS," she screams, closing her eyes as she gets completely impaled and her boobs bounce freely.
More and more moans come out of Jeewson's mouth as she quickly gets exausted, using all her mouth to ride your cock with hard and fast bounces. Her udders are a spectacle to watch as they turn into wild pinballs that move directionless. "AHHHHH, Fuck my little pussy," Jeewon begs, slowly getting out of breath the longer you impale her pussy.
"Get on your feet and keep bouncing on that dick," you command. Jeewon pushes harder, her pussy getting stretched out to the fullest, her ass clapping hard against your body. You finally decide to give her a break: "Come here to suck my cock," you tell her, kneeling as Jeewon bends over and gets that meat in her mouth as soon as you give her the command.
"Don't cover your tits; let me see them bounce," you tell her as Jeewon bobs her head on your cock. Like an unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object, you meet her head bobbing with more thrusts down her throat, doing as much as you can to make her boobs bounce.
"Ready to put it back in your pussy?" you ask her. "Yes, always ready," she says. "But first, you need to get a little sloppier; let me make those tits shake," you continue, fucking her face once again as you entertain herself with all the movement her milkers make while you do so.
Jeewon can't hide how tired she looks at this point, panting multiple times as she gags on your cock. But she's still hungry for cock, spitting all over it and throating it as deep as she can as you destroy her tiny, slutty mouth.
"Now you're ready," you tell her. Jeewon brings the lube bottle back and gets her boobs wet again. "Shake it," you command, as the lube falls down into your crotch and Jeewon rubs it on your shaft before sitting on it again, this time in reverse cowgirl.
Jeewon doesn't hold back, riding your cock as hard as she can. Her boobs are an even bouncier mess now. And she's an even bigger mess of moans. "AHHHH, YES, FUCK, OH MY GOD," she screams as you just passively watch, Jeewon planting her hands against the couch as a support while she bounces on your prick.
"OH FUCK THAT'S DEEP," Jeewon says as she ends up sliding your cock inside her cunt all the way down to your balls. You take advantage of this moment of weakness from her and thrust upwards. "AHHHHHH, YESSSS," she screams as her tits almost fly out of her body.
"FUCK THAT'S SO DEEP IN MY STOMACH, YES, YES, YES," Jeewon screams as your cock strikes her mercilessly balls deep, losing her breath as you hit her cervix. Her body is fully sweaty as she just lies on top of you and sits with your cock deep inside her, massaging your balls while she tries to recover from the quick but extremely hard pounding you just gave her.
Jeewon tries to ride a couple times but can barely last a minute. "FUCK YES, YES, YES," she says. "I need this cock so bad, but I'm so fucking tired," she says. "Then suck my dick," you tell her as she takes it deep in her throat like a hungry demon, but you do to her face just as you did to her pussy, pouding it from down low while Jeewon struggles with her throat getting filled full of cock at a franctic pace.
"Are you ready to get fucked lying on your back?" you ask Jeewon. "Yes, please, do it; I've never done this position before," Jeewon says with a huge smile on her face, her legs pressed against her big boobs. "Ready for this big cock to take you on a piledriver?" you keep asking. "Yesss, I'm so excited," Jeewon answers.
You rub and slap your cock against Jeewon's entrance, adding a little lube around her lower side. Jeewon's pussy starts queefing as soon as you penetrate it. You love the noise coming out of her cunt as you fuck her. "Hmmm, look at this tight pussy squirting all that lube," you say. "That's so hot," you say.
Jeewon grabs her boobs, jiggling them with her hands, and her moans are very out of breath now. You play with her pussy going in and out of it and enjoying the queefing sounds. You slowly pick up the pace, bulging your massive cock under her belly. "Fuck this little pussy, YESSSS, FUCKKK," Jeewon screams in between lots of moans.
"Look at that big cock under my stomach," Jeewon notices your bulging dick, massaging her belly in the area around it. You hit her pussy straight and deep, staying with your shaft buried all the way down her cunt. "Let's see it, let's see it," you enjoy your cock stabbing her insides as Jeewon runs her hands around the bulge under her tummy. "Poke me right there, please," she demands.
"AHHHHHH, OHHHHH FUCKKKK," Jeewon screams as you hit deep in her cervix; she is exhausted now and just enjoys you taking her pussy all the way in. A few liquids come out of her vagina, and you love it. "Oh God, are you squirting?" you ask her. "YESSSS," she screams as your cock dives into a pudddle of juices that get trapped between your shaft and gravity, pushing it back down inside Jeewon's fuckhole.
Jeewon laughs as you finger her little pussy. "Come here, baby, taste that cock full of squirt," you tell her. Jeewon gets up immediately, diving to suck your dick and lick your shaft from top to bottom, enjoying the taste of herself. "Dirty girl," you say to her as she chokes on your cock and bounces her tit with her franctic head-bobbing, smiling like the good whore she is.
As Jeewon finishes gagging on your cock, a coat of saliva fills it from top to bottom. She still has the strength for one final round, slapping her own ass as you look at her baby-making body. Jeewon puts her right leg up and gets herself into an acrobatic position on the couch for one last fucking. You slide your cock deep into her pussy from the beginning, making her moan softly.
You pound Jeewon fast and hard, making sure her boobs bounce as much as possible. At this point, Jeewon can barely feel her legs, just letting herself become a little cocksleeve for your monster cock. "Oh yes, oh yes," she moans as your balls clap against her clit and her boobs hit her chin. "That feels so fucking amazing," she says as your cock relentlessly attacks her cunt.
"OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," Jeewon says as you pound her balls deep. Her tits become massive bouncy pinballs at each thrust you give her; her clit stretches out like an opening mouth, and speaking of mouths, she opens her as far as she can to moan every time your cock fills her insides.
"CUM FOR ME, YES, CUM IN MY LITTLE PUSSY, PLEASE," Jeewon begs. Soon, you leave your signature inside it, coating her walls full of your white ink just as she wanted to. "Push it out," you tell her, spreading her pussy lips and bringing a cup where your cum lands after flowing out of her pussy.
Jeewon pushes the cum out of her pussy like a cow getting milked out of her tits. "Drop on your knees and pour it all over your big tits for me," you demand as Jeewon picks the cup up and fills her milkers full of your milk, licking her own nipples to taste your cum right out of her boobs as she gives you one final big smile.
"That was a lot of fun," Jeewon says. "So you had a lot of fun, you little slut; what was your favorite part?" you ask her. "Probably the piledriver loved watching your cock poking me from the inside," she said. "That's great; I hope I get to have more fun with you," you tell her. "Me too; that would be awesome," Jeewon replied.
"Last thing, I really love your smile," you say to Jeewon.
"And my big tits and little pussy too," Jeewon says, shaking her tiddies for one last time.
"Needless to say I love them."
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norrisleclercf1 · 3 days
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But You? You Are Mine
Pairing: Assistant!Reader x Mafia!Jenson Button
Rating: R for violence and language
Words: 4.8K
Warnings: Blood, death, kidnapping, Bernie Ecclestone (yeah man gets his own warning) etc.
Synopsis: Jenson finally learns the truth, in the worse way possible
Mafia Jenson: pt.1 Unattainable / pt.2 Slipping Through My Fingers / pt.3 He's Not Yours
A/N: Whoops, sorry for lying @percervall
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Before he was born, Jenson thought he found the meaning of love. Love meant seeing you in the morning, smiling when he brought you your coffee, or when he would crack a joke, how you'd glow when he gave you a gift. To him, seeing you so happy was love for him; he wanted to have that every day. He wanted you every day. And for each day, for 10 years, he had you, but now, you had someone else.
Jenson learned true love when he held that gorgeous little blonde boy for the first time. Seeing how his pure ocean eyes stare up at him, the boy gets the little gummy smile when he sees Jenson each time. Jenson fell harder and harder. If this is what a parent's love is like, he never wants it to end.
Here he was, 3 am, with barely any sleep, and he couldn't be happier as little Theo didn't want anyone but Jenson at that moment. You were lying in Jenson's bed, as Jenson bounced softly in front of it, whispering how Theo should be sleeping right now. The brilliant boy giggles, Jenson shushing him, looking back, seeing you curled up to his pillows, fast asleep.
"You being clingy doesn't help Mommy get any sleep," Jenson whispers. Theo gurgles, his little pudgy hands reaching up for Jenson. Leaning down, the little boy cups his father's face, giggling, and Jenson closes his eyes, basking in the sound before kissing him on his rosy cheek. "Oh Theo, you love so purely. If only you knew that I'm not a good man," Jenson whispers, holding the boy closer, scared that he'd wake at any moment and none of this would be true.
You wouldn't be in Jenson's bed, Theo wouldn't exist, and Jenson would wake up in the cold bed with you still distant, yet so close to him. Jenson never wants this dream to end. "Jenson," Turning, he sees you squinting but then gets a laziness but loved-filled smile at seeing Theo half asleep in your boss's arms. "Come back to bed," You plead, holding out your hand, eyes so filled with sleep that Jenson almost groans, seeing how you want him next to you.
"Theo is almost asleep, love, I promise," Jenson whispers, but you shake your head. Theo is almost 1 now, and since that day in the hospital, you and Jenson....grew closer; it drove the others crazy, as they wanted nothing more than for you two to admit you're a couple. Still, neither of you would say the words. "Just bring him to bed with you," Lying back down, you pull Jenson's side of the covers back, and Jenson melts; nodding his head, he moves and lies down, Theo between you two.
Theo settles instantly, sucking on his pacy, ocean eyes drooping, which has always made you two giggle at how hard he tries to fight off sleep. "Jenson," Your voice is soft, hand ghosting his cheek, which has him looking up from Theo. "You are a good man. Do you understand me? You are a very good man, too good." Emotions well up in you. Between you two, Jenson was a saint, no matter if he was running the largest British Mafia, while you're lying to Jenson with each breath you take.
"No," He breathed, cuddling closer, careful not to crush Theo, who was now passed out, sleeping, winning the battle this time. "No, you're the better one; you gave me love; that's all I could ask for," Jenson whispers, and you close your eyes, taking a deep breath to stop the tears from falling. "You're the best person for him, don't ever change that, just....always be there for him, please," You whisper, unsure what you would do if Jenson ever left.
"I'll always be there for him. Just get some sleep, love; I'll be here when you wake," Nodding, you let your hand rest on top of Jenson's that's resting on Theo's tiny stomach. "I'll always be here," Jenson whispers,
-------------------------
Theo giggles as Lewis lifts him up above his head, Lewis chuckling as you try to finish up some paperwork. "He's been acting weird, Lewis," You whisper, staring at the door where a meeting is occurring. You weren't allowed in for the first time ever. "Don't stress over it. You don't have to be at every meeting, ya know," Lewis smiles, but his words are tight as he blows raspberries on Theo's chubby cheeks, not caring about the drool as Theo chews on his fist.
"Lewis, he's drooling everywhere," You chuckle and lean back, grabbing a bib and wiping your son's mouth, who smiles so wide, you feel your heart stop. He's got Jenson's smile. "How's mini Button?" Lewis and you freeze, relaxing when you see it's Mark who quickly takes Theo from Lewis. "He looks more like Sebastian," Lewis quickly counters, but Mark just shrugs and stares at Theo for a second. "Sure, he's got his eyes," You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, trying to remain calm.
The older Theo got, the more he inherited his actual birth father's features, and it was starting to scare you. "How is Sebastian?" You whisper, having not spoken to him since you told him you were pregnant and needed him to pretend to be a deadbeat father, who really needed to stay away due to Mark, Mark, who just got back from a delegation meeting with them.
"Fine, didn't even ask about Theo, which pissed me off. Knocks you up, bolts, and doesn't have the balls to even ask about his baby boy," Mark spits, Theo squeals and slaps the stubble on Mark's cheeks, who smiles and tickles his stomach. "Yes, yes, your daddy is a bad man," Mark says in a baby voice, which has you and Lewis snickering. It was so odd to see Mark interacting with the baby cause for the first 6 months, he refused to hold Theo until Jenson shoved him into his arms, and now, Mark will just take him out of your arms without warning and refuse to give him back when asked by either you or Jenson.
"Doesn't Jenson have a huge meeting today? Why aren't you with him?" Mark asks, and you stick your hand out to him, staring at Lewis as if saying, 'See, I told you so.' Lewis rolls his eyes, but even he must admit that it's rare for you to be included in the meeting. "Alright, I'll admit that it's odd, okay? Who's he even meeting with?" Spinning in your chair, you pull up Jenson's schedule and see who he is meeting with.
"Um, it... what?" you whisper and start clicking around, looking for who he could meet with. "It doesn't say; it's not even on a personal calendar; he scheduled this himself." You whisper, and a horrible feeling settles in your stomach. "He did this without me knowing," Mark and Lewis share a look but don't say anything as the meeting room door bangs open, startling Theo, who starts to cry.
A man walks out, furious and short, with snow-white hair, a matching beard, and beady little eyes. You quickly move and grab Theo, wanting to hide him from this man's gaze. Mark and Lewis promptly stand in front of you as you try to calm Theo, who cries loudly. You know that he probably wants Jenson, shushing him. You bounce softly as the man stops looking at the four of you, getting the nastiest look ever on his face. "Well, if it isn't Button's whore and his little followers," The man growls; Mark steps right in front of you, his face turning murderous as he glares him down.
Lewis moves to your side, trying to help Theo calm down. "Ecclestone! Get the fuck away from them," Theo whimpers hearing his Papa's familiar voice and babbles, reaching out for Jenson, who equally looks furious. "Or what Button? Do you think you're so powerful now? Well, nothing will stop me from getting what I want," You step back, Jenson's face changing as he sees Theo is with you instead of the nanny; immediately, he feels this overpowering urge to protect you and his child.
"Ecclestone, either get the fuck out, or I'll give Fernando and Felipe a call and tell them you're here," Jenson seethes, stepping closer to you two. The old man clocks the movement but does nothing as he knows Felipe Massa would kill him without a second thought, "This won't end here," The man turns and stalks out, Jenson quickly moving to you two and pulling you into his arms, looking over you in a hurry. "Did he touch you?" Jenson's voice is tight as he tries to control his anger.
"Dada," Theo babbles, a new word he's been using a lot, twisting his body to reach out for Jenson, who happily takes Theo and holds the back of his head, taking a deep breath, knowing he's safe in his arms. "How could you two let that man near them," Jenson seethes, and Mark scuffs. "Watch it mate; how were we supposed to know you were meeting with Bernie fucking Ecclestone," Mark snaps, and Theo whimpers, not liking the loud noises.
"Stop, please. You're scaring Theo," Jenson freezes, hearing those words, and immediately starts whispering soft words of love, telling his boy how much he loves him. "Jenson, you met with him and didn't even tell me who that man is?" You try to shove down the betrayed feeling, but you have no right to feel betrayed, not when holding the biggest secret. "He is no one, an old bastard from the past that should've died years ago; why Massa lets him keep living is beyond me, ever since Singapore," Jenson shakes his head, and Lewis's shoulders tighten. "Can we not talk about it," Jenson and Mark scuff, "Why? You came out squeaky clean and the biggest winner ever," Lewis scowls, looking down at his hands.
"Doesn't matter, leave the devils in the past," "Kinda hard to do when we are the devils," Mark comments, and you are suddenly aware that they all have a past, secrets, dark secrets that they will never tell you, no matter how close you all become, you'll never truly become one of them. "Y/n, please, baby, look at me," Looking up, you stare into the eyes of the man you love, the one you can never breathe those 3 words to. Those words would get him, or you killed, "If you ever, and I mean ever, see that man again, you take Theo and you run; I mean it, please, Y/n, please," Jenson begs, and you nod your head; Theo reaching out for you.
"Mama," You smile and gently take Theo, bouncing him softly, which makes him giggle. His blotchy cheeks have your heartache, but Jenson leans forward and presses a kiss to the top of Theo's head, then kisses you softly. "Lewis, Mark, take them home for me?" "No, I have work today, and we have other meetings," "No," Jenson snaps; your eyes widen, as Jenson never raised his voice at you. "No, you're going home with the baby; I need to know you two are safe; don't leave their side," He tells the two, who nod and gather your and Theo's things.
"I'll be home soon, promise," Jenson leans in, stealing one last kiss before walking down the hall to his office. Sighing, you follow out, stopping when you see Bernie Ecclestone staring at you. But more importantly, his eyes stay trained on the stroller with Theo. Mark clocks it and immediately steps in the way, Bernie scuffing and climbing into a thick army-built SUV.
"Let's get you home, okay," Mark whispers and helps you load everything up.
-------------------------
It's been three weeks since you met Ecclestone. You noticed the increase in security almost immediately. Jenson kept waving you off, saying that Theo needed the extra security as he got older. More people started to learn that Jenson Button was seen with a baby. Still, you had a feeling that wasn't really the case. Today was enough; after having Theo, you didn't feel like yourself; you didn't feel like your confident, badass self, but now, you were tired of Jenson walking over you.
Staring at your closet, you smirk and pick out a black pencil skirt that has a slit in the back, going up your mid-calf and stopping, pairing it with was deep red wine button-up and styling your hair your favorite way, and doing your favorite makeup. You look in the mirror and smirk, loving the old confident badass was back, and you were about to get your answers.
-------------------------
"Don't tell Y/n, please," Jenson pleads, not wanting you to learn about the real reason for the security increase. He didn't want you to worry, letting him deal with this stress more than anything. "Jense, you need to tell her," Lewis grumbles, sometimes hating being best friends with both of you. Hearing the elevator, Lewis freezes as he hears the familiar click of So Kate's on the marble floors, Jenson grumbling and not paying attention as you slam down your purse.
"You have a meeting, Mr. Button, at 10. Is there a reason you're sitting around my desk?" Jenson looks up, his eyes widening as he takes in the person before him. Fuck, he's screwed. You're wearing his favorite office outfit you wore before the pregnancy. God he loved you before, during, and after the pregnancy. Still, he won't lie, saying he missed your tight-ass pencil skirts and wonderful button-ups that stopped right at the curve of your breasts. Still, ever since the pregnancy, they've gotten thicker, making his suit pants tighter.
"You're back?" Lewis asks, suddenly loving this turn of events. "Yes, I realized that after having Theo, I turned soft on your asses, and that's going to change; now, why are you still here? Meeting in 10," You point to the boardroom, and Jenson groans, leaning in to kiss you, but you grab his chin hard, and he freezes.
"You don't deserve to kiss me. You've been lying to me about my son," "Our son," Lewis and you both freeze, and panic sets in fuck did he find out, but you two have been so careful to not let him know. "Our son, Y/n, I'm helping raise him; he's my son too, not by blood, but by love; he's mine." Jenson's eyes are hard as he pulls back and clears his throat. "Also, I haven't been hiding anything. I would tell you if I was. I love you too much to lie to you," He fixes his tie and stalks off, leaving you with a cotton taste in your mouth.
"Don't, just don't, Lewis," Lewis says nothing but leans closer and kisses your cheek. "Secrets are like poison; we swallow it each day to get stronger, but it does nothing but rip us apart slowly and painfully," You look down, staring at a picture of Jenson and Theo. It was taken at home; Jenson was shirtless again, displaying his tattoos. Theo was peacefully asleep, and Jenson was sleeping in the rocker; it was your favorite picture. How similar they look when they sleep makes you hate yourself for lying to Jenson about everything.
"Well shit, look who is looking gorgeous," Turning around, you smile brightly, seeing Fernando; moving quickly, you jump into your friend's arms, who holds you close and kisses your cheek. "Eh, Jenson pissed you off, so you decided to pull out the old pencil skirt?" You snort and hit his chest, which makes him giggle. "No, I realized I let this place go and need to straighten it out again; anyway, can I ask you a question?" You didn't know how to bring this up, but you needed to.
"Always," Fernando says, leading you both to the seating area across from your desk. "Is Bernie Ecclestone dangerous?" Fernando's face turns dark, making your skin crawl and the hairs on the back of your neck tingle with his look. "How do you know that name?" He growls, his hands tightening on yours so hard you wince, causing him to let them go. "He was here, talked to Jenson about 3 weeks ago, and Jenson increased security significantly after the interaction.
"Y/n, please stay away from that man, Ecclestone; he's," Fernando takes a deep breath, sighing as he tries to explain who Ecclestone is. "He used to be our old boss before we all went our separate ways and built our own mafias; he used to own us; we were basically his mutts. Did all his dirty work, and he didn't care who he fucked over to get it done. One night, there was a deal in Singapore; Felipe Massa, one of our close friends, was close to getting something he'd wanted for a long time. He was so close to getting it, but I came to find out that one of us was asked to crash the operation and give me an upper hand without my knowledge. Anyways, Felipe was furious, he was screwed over, and Lewis, well, if that didn't happen the way it did, Lewis wouldn't be who he is." Fernando takes a breath as you lean forward.
"After that night, we were all furious. Someone betrayed us and played us against one another. Come to find, Ecclestone betrayed us, and we all vowed revenge; Lewis, Felipe, and Jenson headhunted the whole thing. Jenson took most of the money and destroyed Ecclestone's reputation; now he's back for revenge. That's why Jenson is this way. I wouldn't be surprised if that old bastard made threats against you and Theo." Fernando leans back in his chair, and you mull over everything he says.
"He should've just told me the truth," Fernando scuffs, shaking his head. "You two aren't really the best at telling the truth. Don't be throwing rocks at glass houses, darling." Your blood runs cold as you stare at Fernando, who seems bored. "Come now, I know Sebastian, and I know how much he's panting after my man's cock, he's a fucker, but he wouldn't leave his child. Besides, Theo looks far too much like Jenson did as a baby," You blink slowly, opening and closing your mouth.
"Don't make excuses, you and Lewis, I'm sure you did what you did for a reason, but you didn't take into account that those Button genes are strong," Fernando chuckles, pushing his hair out of his face. "You must hate me for keeping this from him," Fernando shrugs, "Eh, not really. You're protecting your child, doing what's best for him, but you're lucky that a great man loves you and is willing to raise another man's child, even though that child is his." Fernando picks imaginary lint off his clothes and sizes you up.
"But, if I was Jenson," Fernando leans in, smirking, "No matter how good of friends you and I are, I would've killed you for this stunt you're pulling," Fernando smiles, patting your cheek as he stands and stretches. "See you around, darling," you stare wide-eyed as you watch Fernando walk off, leaving you stunned.
Fernando is right; you're lucky that Jenson is a good man.
-----------------------
After learning the truth, you couldn't help but feel like someone was watching you, and you refused to leave Theo alone for more than a few seconds. You were even nervous to leave him alone with Jenson, and Jenson would die before letting anything hurt Theo.
You are standing in the grocery store, Theo teething with some silicone toys you bought to help his aching teeth. Moving around, you notice that your guards stay back, giving you the semi-normalcy you requested; Theo gurgles loudly, and you giggle, making silly faces at him as you cash out, smiling at the sweet cashier who compliments Theo. You smile, or at least try to be unable to shake this feeling in your gut.
Moving through the parking lot, your guards are behind you, but they keep a distance to not draw attention to you; getting to your car, you giggle as Theo lets out a belly laugh when you drop your keys; bending down, you stand back up and freeze, seeing the man in all black, sitting in the back of your car holding a gun, pointed to Theo. "Scream or alert your guards, and I will kill the little bastard," Theo giggles, clueless, as you hand the keys to Theo.
"Don't hurt him, take me, okay? Whatever you want, just take me," You whisper, seeing your guards climb into their cars, waiting for you. "Do what you normally do and climb into the car. When you get in, we'll switch, understand me," You nod and smile, not wanting to scare Theo. You load the groceries, moving quickly, and load Theo into the car, and your blood runs cold. Then, you finally notice the second man in the car.
You try your best to stay calm, thinking over every possible scenario. "Get in," the first man says, and you nod; as he moves to the middle seat, Theo giggles and is curious about who the men are in the car with you two. "It's going to be okay, Theo, we're going to see Daddy," Theo squeals and claps his hands, repeating, Dada, "Cute kid," The second guy comments, and you give a wobbly smile as you get into the driver's side. "Move to the passenger seat,"
Listening to the command, you climb into the passenger seat, the mysterious men firing up your SUV. They pull out of the parking lot, and you watch as your bodyguards' cars follow. "Listen, just tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you. Jenson will give you anything, just please," You plead. The men share a look as they start to drive through the woods back to Jenson's house. "Lady, we don't give a fuck what you have to offer, we're just doing a job," the second man rumbles,
"Ecclestone," you whisper, the fear gripping your chest so hard you can't breathe. Listen, we don't really like hurting kids, but the money was too good to pass up. Besides, we need you to give Jenson the message." The car's door unlocks, and your eyes grow wide. Tell him Ecclestone wants back what he and he'll return his son." "No!" you scream as you reach for the wheel, the car swerving.
The driver's arm snaps out, bursts blood in your mouth as he slams his fist into your face, "Get the bitch out!" He screams; as your door is thrown open, you receive another hit as the car swerves and sends you flying out, hitting something hard. You roll, cars screeching, the sound of metal crunching, and a scream as you watch through blurred vision, your car driving off with your son in the car.
------------------------
Slamming the doors open, Jenson runs through the pale white hallways; the last time he was here, you were in a coma; now you were in a wreck, and Theo was taken. "Y/n Button, where is she?" Jenson slams his hand on the counter, the nurses jumping and pointing to the room, where cops swarmed it. Gritting his jaw, he storms into the room and stops dead in his tracks, seeing you.
An arm wrapped in white gauze, cheek bruised black, and mouth split open. Looking up, you notice him, and tears burn your throat and eyes. "Jenson," Ignoring the cops, he slams his way through the bodies and wraps his arms softly around you, no matter how much he wants to squeeze you tight. "They took Theo, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, they...they placed a gun to his head," You sob, Jenson having to control his anger and taking a deep breath.
"Out, I want everyone out," The cops stop talking and file out as Lewis, Mark, and Fernando slide into the room. "Where's Theo?" Lewis whispers, and you shake your head. The three men instantly join you as Lewis takes your empty side, and you curl into his side, hiding your face.
They stay silent for a while, listening to your tears as Jenson sighs and lets you go. "I need to call Sebastian," Jenson whispers, pulling away from you as he knows Sebastian will want to know his son has been taken. "Why?" You ask, wiping your eyes as Lewis wipes some blood from your lip gently. "Why? Y/n, Theo is his son,"
"Ecclestone," "What?" The room erupts into noise as you flinch, the men yelling over one another. "Stop!" Fernando roars, suddenly in front of you, grabbing your shoulders. "What the fuck does Ecclestone have to do with this?" Jenson steps forward, but Mark moves to stand in the way. "Stop, Jenson, we need these answers," "Y/n, darling, what do you mean Ecclestone," You take a deep breath, trying to gain feeling again, but you can't. Your heart was taken from you.
"Ecclestone, he," You take another deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. "Ecclestone hired two men to take Theo; they said they don't hurt children, but," A broken sound leaves your mouth, leaving the men to flinch. "But, the money was too good," You blubber, wiping your eyes as you try your hardest not to picture Theo crying for you or Jenson.
"They said that if Jenson returned what's Ecclestone, they'd give Theo back," you whimper. Jenson stares at you and shakes his head. "But, why take Theo? I know I'm raising him, but Ecclestone must know that Theo's father is Sebastian, not me," You feel your anger bubble as you stand up on wobbling legs, "He's not! He's not Sebastians! "He's yours. He's always been yours," You scream, the tears falling, skin burning as you scream the truth finally out at Jenson.
Laughing, Jenson shakes his head and steps back. "No, he's Sebastian, you said it, Sebastian said it, fuck, I mean, he even looks like Seb with the blonde hair and eyes," You stare at the man you've slowly fallen in love with, shake his head, and deny the truth. "Jenson, it's true," Lewis whispers; Jenson looks up. Betrayal, hurt, anger, disbelief, and genuine terror rip across Jenson's face before settling on pure fury.
"He's my son, he's my blood, and you hid that from me," Jenson storms forward, but Mark and Fernando quickly grab him and push him back. "Stop, she did what she thought was right." "How!! How is hiding the fact that I was raising my son, but I thought he was someone else's? HE'S MINE AND YOU LIED!" Jenson roars, causing you to flinch.
"I'm sorry, we weren't together, and with your life, I knew that it would be better for Theo and safer for you than if no one knew the truth." "But Lewis does," You snap your mouth shut, Lewis shifting his weight to stand in front of you slightly. "And judging by Mark and Fernando's reactions, they knew, so me, the true father, was left in the dark, forever heartbroken that the woman I LOVE HAD A BABY WITH SOMEONE ELSE!" Jenson turns and slams his fist into the wall.
Turning around, he shakes his head, takes deep breaths, and steps close to you. Everyone is on edge as Jenson grabs your face and pulls you close, kissing your forehead. "I'll be back, and we'll talk about this like adults, but right now, I have to go get our son," placing one last kiss on your forehead, you nod and watch as Jenson leaves the room silently.
-------------------------
"Please, please, I'm sorry," Jenson stands before Ecclestone, covered in the blood of the two men who had taken his baby. "You're a pathetic fool, should let Massa end you, but you touched my wife, my son, and I'm tired of you," Jenson cocks the gun as the pleas to live get louder. Still, Jenson scuffs and shoots Ecclestone through his head, watching as he crumbles into a lifeless puppet.
"Sir, we've got him." Jenson smiles and coos as Theo blinks at him with bleary eyes and whines. "Oh, did someone take a nap? Had a tiring day, didn't you, my gorgeous boy?" Jenson whispers and takes Theo into his arms, bouncing as he kisses the top of his head. "Dada," Theo whines and snuggles into his hold, Jeson sighing as Theo's weight back in his arms just feels right.
"Yeah, baby, Dada," Jenson repeats and closes his eyes, letting the silent tears fall. "Yeah, it's Dada," Jenson mummers again as he makes the walk back to the car and gently places him in his car seat. "Alright, time to go home,"
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taurasiluvr · 1 day
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BABY IT AIN'T REALLY CHEATING IF HE DON'T SEE ── BUECKERS⁵
how you can help palestine prequel
★ based on dope love by gucci mane. you have an annoying boyfriend who always seems to be jealous of paige. and you've never even given him a reason to not trust you . . . of course not!
 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. smut with a little plot, cheating (on irrelevant bf), asshole!paige, fingering, exhibitionism (sorta if that's what you can even call it).
 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 3.6k
 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; requests are open for those who want to send them in :p
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"you're embarrassing me," the words came out of your mouth, your tone annoyed as you glared up at your boyfriend. you couldn't believe that he asked paige for a 1v1 – and on top of that, he lost.
now he was acting all pissy, pacing back and forth on the court with his hands on his hips. paige, your best friend since forever, stood a few feet away, trying to hide her smirk. obviously, she shouldn't be intimidated by your boyfriend, who was supposed to be confident and supportive, not a sore loser.
"maybe if you hadn't underestimated her," you continued, your voice cutting through his grumbling. "you know how good she is, she's literally d1."
paige smirked slightly as she shrugged, taking a sip out of the red solo cup. "it's just a game, guys. it's not a big deal,"
your boyfriend shot her a glare, then turned to you. "why are you taking her side?"
"cus you're acting like a damn child," you snapped back. "it's not her fault you lost."
your boyfriend’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red. he stopped pacing and turned to face you, his hands still on his hips. the music and laughter from the party around you seemed to fade into the background as his eyes searched yours for any sort of validation.
"i just... didn't think she'd take it so seriously," he mumbled, his voice lacking its usual confidence.
paige chuckled softly, shaking her head. "i didn't take it seriously, man. it's just a game," she repeated, her tone light but her eyes sparkling with a hint of amusement as she glanced at you, licking her lips slightly.
"just a game?" he repeated as he glared at the blonde. "i just got beat by a girl! i'm gonna get absolutely flamed in the groupchat,"
"hey, she's also d1! you don't even play basketball," you retorted, feeling your frustration rise. "it's not like you lost to someone off the street. paige is amazing at this."
"whatever," he muttered, looking away and crossing his arms. "still feels like shit, specially cause you're my girl and shit,"
paige raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the interaction more than she should. "dude, it's just a game. and besides, who cares what your friends think? they'll get over it."
"easy for you to say," he snapped back, his voice growing louder as he began walking toward her. "you didn't just embarrass yourself."
you stepped between them, your patience wearing thin. "enough. you're acting like a sore loser and it's not a good look."
he glared at you, the hurt evident in his eyes. "why are you always defending her? it's like you take her side over mine every fuckin' time."
"because you're acting ridiculous!" you shot back. "paige is my best friend, and you're being unfair to her and to me. this has nothing to do with sides and more to do with you and your weird competition with her."
he clenched his jaw, his eyes flicking back and forth between you and paige. "weird competition? baby, it's obvious she has a thing for you, i mean jesus-"
you immediately let out a groan. "are we really gonna talk about this now, again? i told you-"
"i don't care, she obviously does!" he finally snapped. you grabbed his arm as he continued shouting about whatever he thinks is going on between you the blonde.
paige watched as you dragged your boyfriend to the side, letting out an amused laugh as she shook her head. she went back inside to get a refill, finding aubrey and nika.
"you gotta stop playing with him," nika stifled a laugh as she glanced outside, watching you and your boyfriend laughing. "i feel bad. we all watched him get absolutely obliterated by you."
aubrey laughed, nodding. "that was so fucking embarrassing, my god. i got an ick and i don't even like him."
paige shrugged, a smirk playing on her lips. "can't help that i'm good at basketball. and it's not like i'm doing it on purpose. he's the one who keeps trying to prove himself."
nika shook her head, still grinning. "well, he's definitely not doing himself any favors."
aubrey took a sip from her cup, raising an eyebrow. "you think she's actually gonna stay with him much longer? i mean, look at them."
they all glanced outside where you were still talking animatedly with your boyfriend. his face was red with frustration, while yours was a mix of exasperation and annoyance.
paige sighed, her expression softening a bit. "nah, probably. she deserves someone who doesn't get all insecure and jealous over nothing."
aubrey and nika exchanged looks, their faces entertained. nika spoke up, "paige we're not dumb, we know you've fucked before."
paige shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. "yeah well... they were on break," she look a sip of her drink as she glanced up at her friends, their expressions unconvinced.
nika raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "on a break, huh? and does he know about this?"
paige hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. "nah, he doesn't."
nika let out a low whistle. "that's risky, paige. he looks like the type to not mind... you know, beating your ass."
paige laughed as she shrugged. "yeah and he's also like, 5'8."
"if he tried, he'd get humbled," aubrey glanced toward her blonde friend, a smirk playing on her lips. "again," she added.
paige chuckled, her confidence unwavering. "exactly. i'm not too worried about him. besides, it's not like it was a regular thing. it was a one-time thing."
nika leaned back, her expression thoughtful. "still, you should be careful. if he finds out, things could get messy."
paige nodded, acknowledging the risk. "yeah, but it's done, and i can't undo it, i just have to handle things as they come."
aubrey took a sip from her drink, her eyes glinting with mischief. "you know, if you play your cards right, you might not have to worry about him for much longer."
"yeah, i know," she smirked as she glanced at you, you were still arguing with your boyfriend. "i know,"
as they continued talking, you and your boyfriend reentered the house, your faces still showing signs of the recent argument. paige watched as you tried to shake off the tension, joining your friends and attempting to immerse yourself in the party's atmosphere.
nika leaned in, whispering to paige, "think she'll be okay?"
Paige nodded, her eyes following you as you made your way to the group. "she's a big girl, i don't think she cares as much she pretends to."
you approached, giving paige a grateful smile. "hey, guys. sorry about that."
aubrey waved it off, her demeanor light and carefree. "no worries. we're just glad you're back."
nika chimed in, "yeah, we missed you. come on, let's have some fun."
you felt a wave of relief wash over you as your friends welcomed you back with open arms. paige stayed close, her presence a steady comfort. the rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter and camaraderie, the earlier tension fading into the background.
 ⠀ ── ⠀
"and he's so damn clingy, it gets on my nerves," you resisted an eyeroll as you spoke, doing your night time routine in the foggy mirror. paige stood behind you, her hands on your hips and her chin on your shoulder, watching you through the reflection.
"yeah?" she mumbled as you nodded. her hair was wet from the shower, her eyes were red from the exhaustion of the whole day but right now – she didn't feel a tinge of weariness.
you sighed, putting down your toothbrush and meeting paige's eyes in the mirror. "yeah, it’s like he always needs to know where i am, what i’m doing, who i’m with. It’s suffocating."
paige grip on your hips tightened slightly, her presence grounding you. "sounds exhausting," she murmured, her voice gentle. "you deserve to feel free, not like you’re constantly under surveillance."
you nodded, leaning back into her embrace. "exactly. and tonight... all that jealousy over a basketball game? it's just too much."
paige pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder, her breath warm against your skin. "you deserve better than that. someone who trusts you and supports you, not someone who’s always questioning you."
you turned to face her, her hands sliding around to rest on the small of your back. "i know. it’s just hard. we've been together for a while, and i don’t wanna hurt him. but i can’t keep going like this."
paige's eyes softened, her thumb brushing gently against your side as her hands slid down them. "you have to take care of yourself first. it’s not selfish to want to be happy."
you smiled as her eyes dilated, her tongue sticking out to wet her lips. "he needs to trust you, cause... you know, you are," paige's voice came out teasing.
you let out a playful scoff as you pushed her away, a smirk playing on your lips. "gonna bring that up again, p?"
"what?" she laughed as her hands made their way back to your hips. "really gonna tell that i didn't rock your world? you were crying and everything, my ego's never gonna that go."
"i know," you felt your cheeks heat up, a blush creeping up your neck. "don't need to remind me every chance you get."
paige's laughter was warm and genuine as she pulled you closer again, her forehead resting against yours. "just making sure you remember,"
you rolled your eyes, but your smile widened. "how could i forget? you never let me."
"and i never will," you turned back around, continuing your routine. "i still think about it, you know?"
paige's smirk widened as she saw the seriousness in your expression through the foggy reflection. "yeah?"
"yeah," you repeated as you met her eyes through the reflection. "all the time."
there was a moment of silence as you continued your routine, paige was lost in thought as she zoned out. "does he fuck you like i do?"
the question came out of nowhere and you almost choked on the mouthwash. you spit out and paige watched your expression carefully. the air in the bathroom seemed to thicken as you processed her words, unsure of how to respond.
paige's gaze held yours steadily, her expression unreadable yet intense. she seemed to be searching for something in your reaction, her smirk fading into a more serious demeanor.
"no, he doesn't."
paige's smirk immediately came back with the answer, her hands pulling you into her chest. "yeah, i knew that."
she didn't any more of an answer, her lips found your shoulder as she began kissing up to your neck. as her lips found the sensitive spot just below your ear, your head spun with a whirlwind of emotions. the familiarity of her touch, coupled with the depth of your connection, ignited a fire within you that burned brighter than ever before.
paige's hands roamed gently over your back, her touch leaving a trail of tingling sensations in its wake.
her breath tickled your skin as she whispered against your ear, her voice husky with desire. "gonna do you so good, baby,"
as paige’s breath sent shivers down your spine, her words were a promise, igniting a flame of anticipation within you. you turned in her embrace, your eyes meeting hers with a mix of longing and uncertainty. paige's gaze softened, her fingers trailing lightly up your arms to cup your face.
“i’ve missed you,” she murmured, her thumb brushing tenderly across your cheek.
“i’ve missed you too,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
the tension between you was palpable, the weight of unspoken feelings hanging in the air. paige leaned in, her lips capturing yours in a slow, deliberate kiss that sent a rush of warmth through your body. you melted into her, your hands finding their way to her damp hair, pulling her closer.
paige's kiss deepened, her hands sliding down your back to grip your hips, anchoring you to her. the taste of mint lingered on your lips from the mouthwash, mingling with the familiar flavor of her.
with a gentle push, paige guided you back against the sink, her lips never leaving yours. her hands explored your body with a familiarity that made your heart race, every touch a reminder of the history you shared. as her kisses trailed down your neck, you let out a soft moan, your fingers tangling in her hair.
“oh p,” you breathed, your voice a mix of need and desperation.
she paused, lifting her head to meet your gaze, her eyes dark with desire. “tell me what you want, baby.”
“want you,” you confessed, your cheeks flushing with the raw honesty of your words.
paige's lips curved into a satisfied smile, her hands slipping under your shirt to caress the bare skin of your waist. “you’re going to have me, princess.”
with a swift motion, she lifted you into her arms as she carried you to your bed. her mouth claimed yours again, the kiss hungry and demanding. your fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt, desperate to feel more of her as she dropped you on the bed.
paige broke the kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head, her eyes never leaving yours. her bare chest pressed against yours as she kissed you again, her hands working to slide off your shorts. you arched into her touch, the sensation of her hands on you sending waves of pleasure through your body.
as your shorts hit the floor, paige's fingers found their way to your core, teasing you through the fabric of your underwear. you gasped, your hips bucking against her hand, craving more. paige's smirk returned, her thumb circling your clit with agonizing slowness.
she pushed you further up the bed, her body following closely as she settled between your legs. paige's eyes never left yours, her gaze intense and filled with desire. her fingers continued their slow, torturous teasing, making you writhe beneath her.
“paige, please,” you begged, your voice a desperate whisper.
her smirk softened into a sweet smile, and she leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. “love hearing you beg,” she murmured against your mouth before trailing kisses down your neck, her hands slipping beneath your underwear to finally touch your bare skin.
with a gentle but firm touch, she slid your underwear down, her fingers finding their way to your wetness. you moaned, your head falling back as she began to pleasure you, her movements deliberate and skilled. paige knew exactly how to drive you insane, her fingers curling inside you in a rhythm that had you teetering on the edge.
you let out a shuddering breath, your body arching into her touch. she set a steady rhythm, her thumb circling your clit in time with the thrusts of her fingers. every stroke sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, each one more intense than the last.
your hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer as she kissed her way down your body. her lips left a trail of fire on your skin, each touch igniting a deeper desire within you. when she reached your breasts, her mouth closed over one nipple, sucking and nibbling gently.
the dual sensations of her mouth and her fingers had you spiraling quickly towards the edge. your breaths came in short gasps, your body trembling with the effort to hold back.
then, your phone began buzzing next to you. you let out an annoyed huff – you already knew who it was. you chose to ignore it, but paige had other plans.
"answer it, princess," she mumbled as she sat up, meeting your gaze.
you stared at her, bewildered, your body still trembling from her touch. "paige," you whispered, a mix of frustration and disbelief in your voice.
paige's eyes sparkled with mischief as she leaned in, her lips brushing your ear. "answer it," she repeated, her voice low and commanding. "want him to hear how good i make you feel."
your heart raced, both from the lingering pleasure and the audacity of her request. with trembling hands, you reached for the phone, your eyes never leaving paige's. she watched you intently, her fingers still moving slowly inside you, maintaining the agonizing pleasure.
you hit the answer button, bringing the phone to your ear. "hello?" you managed to say, your voice shaky.
your boyfriend's voice came through the line, filled with concern and irritation. "where are you? why haven't you answered my texts?"
paige's smirk widened, and she pressed a kiss to your shoulder, her fingers quickening their pace slightly. you bit your lip to stifle a moan, your head falling back against the pillow.
"'m... busy," you replied, your voice strained.
"busy? doin' what?" he demanded, suspicion lacing his words.
paige’s other hand moved to tease your nipple, her thumb flicking over it with expert precision. you let out a soft gasp, unable to hold it back. "just... with friends, we're at my..." you managed to say, your breath hitching. "apartment,"
there was a pause on the other end of the line, your boyfriend clearly picking up on the unusual tone in your voice. "you okay? you sound... different."
paige's lips curled into a wicked smile, her fingers curling inside you, hitting just the right spot. you couldn't help the moan that escaped your lips, your body arching into her touch. "oh fuck," you let out before you sighed, putting a hand over your mouth.
"i'm fine," you lied, your voice trembling. "just... having a good time."
Your boyfriend’s voice grew more insistent. "where are you? i want to see you."
paige leaned closer, her breath hot against your ear as she whispered, "tell him you're with me."
you swallowed hard, trying to focus on the conversation despite the overwhelming sensations. "'m with paige," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
"paige?" he repeated, his tone a mix of confusion and frustration. "what the hell is going on?"
"nothing!" you shouted, the frustration overtaking your senses. "my god, let me fucking breathe. we're just watching a movie and we're tired, can't get a second alone,"
paige's smirk grew as she listened to your conversation, her fingers still teasing you, maintaining a torturous pace that kept you on the edge. she nibbled gently on your neck, her breath warm against your skin, and you fought to keep your voice steady.
on the other end of the line, your boyfriend’s frustration was palpable. “why didn’t you just say that? you’ve been acting so weird lately.”
You took a shaky breath, trying to focus on the words and not the intense pleasure paige was giving you. “i’m not acting weird. just need some space sometimes.”
“space? is that what you call ignoring my calls and hanging out with paige all the time?” he snapped.
paige fingers quickened slightly, pushing you closer to the edge, beginning to completely finger-fuck you. you bit your lip to stifle a moan, your hips bucking involuntarily. “’m not ignoring you,” you said through gritted teeth, trying to sound convincing. “i think i just… need a break.”
“a break?” he echoed, his voice growing louder. “what kind of break?”
paige leaned in, her voice a whisper in your ear. “tell him you’re taking a break from him.”
you swallowed hard, the words sticking in your throat. “think we need a break,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“what?” he shouted, disbelief and anger mingling in his tone. “are you fucking serious?”
“yeah,” you said more firmly, finding your resolve.
he began shouting but you were too engulfed in her fingers, your breaths coming out in shudders. the phone fell out of your hand as you moaned, your back arching into her touch.
paige chose that moment to push you over the edge, her fingers and lips working in perfect harmony to send you spiraling into a powerful orgasm. you cried out, your body shaking with the force of it, the annoyed shouts still coming from the phone.
paige caught the phone, her eyes locking with yours as she brought it to her ear. "she busy right now," she said, her tone unapologetic and firm. "she'll call you in the morning,"
with that, she ended the call, tossing the phone aside as she gathered you in her arms. you were still trembling, your body buzzing with the aftershocks of your orgasm. paige's touch was gentle now, soothing as she held you close.
"you gonna call him in the morning?" she teased as you laid on her chest. you stifled a laugh as you shook your head.
"probably, he's probably crying right now."
she shrugged, "i would too if i lost a bad bitch like you,"
you couldn't help but smile at her words, a warmth spreading through your chest. "you're ridiculous," you murmured, nuzzling closer into her embrace.
paige's fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, her touch comforting and tender. "yeah, but you love it," she replied, her voice soft.
you sighed contentedly, letting the calm after the storm wash over you. "yeah, i do."
you stayed like that for a long time, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading away. eventually, the exhaustion of the day caught up with you, and your eyes grew heavy.
"get some sleep," paige murmured, her voice a gentle lullaby. "we'll figure everything out in the morning."
you nodded sleepily, feeling safe and secure in her arms. "goodnight, p."
"goodnight, beautiful," she whispered, holding you close as you drifted off to sleep.
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if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!
with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚
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h4ndwr1tten · 1 day
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inspired by this tiktok
imagine you and satoru had gotten into an argument. it's already been at least two hours since it—satoru has seemed to move on, but you're still mad and sensitive.
both of you are in bed by now. satoru watches some reality show on the tv while you mindlessly scrolled through tiktok with your back facing him. satoru sighs, then the tv is shut off. he turns to you and attempts to speak to you.
"goodnight, sweets," he chirps, sounding as positive as he could, hoping it would show that he's moved on and that he's okay with you. "i love you."
you don't respond, not because you didn't love him, but you still weren't in the mood to speak. he knew you loved him though, right?
"i love you," he repeats louder, waiting for you to return those three words. again, no response.
he puts his hand around your waist to steady himself as he tries to take a peek at your face with a smile. "hello? i love—"
"i love you! can you stop?!" you snap, shrugging him off you and furrowing your brows at him. although you finally said it, satoru looks anything but relieved and satisfied. the grin he wore to try and make things better faded, his face falling and his eyes softening.
you turned away from him once again and he followed suit, pulling the covers up to his cheeks. he mutters, although a little muffled, "not right now you don't."
it's quiet after. the way you snapped at him and the way his expression morphed into one of hurt and his comment made you feel extremely guilty. were you being petty and holding the argument over his head? you don't even remember what you had argued about.
you quit basking in your guilt and sigh, shutting off your phone and turning over to him. you think he's asleep, but his breathing hasn't evened out. propping yourself up on one arm, you peer over at his face. your hand is on his bicep, gently rubbing up and down. he pretends to be asleep, but you know he can hear you.
"i'm sorry, 'toru. that was really mean of me. i love you so much. we can talk tomorrow, 'kay?" you whisper, placing a lingering kiss to his cheek. you give him a few more pecks as well as another apology before laying down and wrapping your arm around his waist.
you kiss his shoulder blade as you spoon him, then feel his hand run over the one on his stomach. he turns over to face you, making sure your arm never leaves its place on him. you both stare at each other for a minute, apologies being exchanged in the silence and through your eyes. satoru kisses your forehead and you lean into him a little more. he leaves one last kiss on your lips and holds you a little tighter.
"i love you, meanie."
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woso-dreamzzz · 2 days
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Second Time's The Charm III
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: You spoil your wife
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You married the love of your life at eighteen years old.
It got you kicked out of the house but you didn't regret it.
You moved into Eli's house at eighteen to live in bliss with Alexia. You were studying. She was playing football.
Neither of you earnt that much but you had big dreams both separate and together.
Alexia used to hold you at night, curled up together in her childhood as she whispered about all the trips she wanted to take together, about all the things she wanted to buy and the big house she wanted to build for you.
It was a pipe dream though, at least it was at the time.
You didn't have the funds of big holidays or fancy watches or a piece of land big enough for a family.
You moved away for money. Good money. You moved back for money as well. Even better money.
Alexia made good money now too.
Suddenly you both had the funds you wanted when you were eighteen years old.
You had access to money eighteen year old you couldn't even dream of and it was just rotting away in your bank.
You'd been such a good girl with your funds for years now that you thought you were entitled to going on a little spending frenzy for a bit.
So, the first thing you did was buy Alexia that crazy expensive watch she had wanted when she was younger.
You didn't even think about it.
You just bought it, hopping onto the kitchen counters as she attempted to cook. You held the box out of her.
She frowned. "But we already traded engagement rings?"
You laughed, unable to stop yourself from leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her lips. "It's not a ring, Ale. Open it and see."
She nearly dropped it in the pan in shock.
"Is this-?"
"It is."
"But how? We don't have-"
"Alexia," You said," I don't know if you've noticed but we're stupidly rich now."
"But-"
"Put it on, Ale. I wanted to see my beautiful wife wear a beautiful watch."
Her cheeks flushed bright red as she hastened to do what you said, fumbling slightly at the buckle until you helped her.
"How do I look?"
"Beautiful, Ale. So beautiful!"
"Thank you, amor!" She launched herself towards you, picking you up and spinning you around.
You laughed joyously, wrapping your legs around her waist as she spun you. Kisses were littered all over your face as she held you.
The amount in your bank account was extortionate as you looked at your banking app, brow furrowed. You hadn't realised you had saved so much over the years.
There were so many digits that you couldn't even understand where they had all come from.
Enough money for you to take at least a few years off from working (not that you would). Enough money to pay for that luxury trip to the Maldives that eighteen year old Alexia had planned in her head once upon a time.
"Where are we going?"
Alexia was like an excited kid on the way to the airport and even more excited as she pushed the luggage cart through check in. You rolled your eyes fondly at her, knowing if she were a puppy then her tail would be wagging.
"Be patient, Alexia," You replied," We're nearly there. We'll send off the bags, go through security and then we'll go and find our gate."
"But I want to know now! Please, amor! Please, please, please!"
"Learn some patience Alexia," You laughed.
"If I guess correctly, will you tell me? Please?"
"You won't guess but alright."
Alexia was so distracted with guessing that she hadn't even noticed the big board displaying your gate as the one going to the Maldives.
Your wife is a bit of a fool sometimes but you still loved her, even if she wasn't the most perceptive person in the world.
"The Maldives?" She repeated with a little frown," But you said we couldn't afford it."
"I said that when we were eighteen, Alexia," You laughed," Besides, didn't you say it was the perfect honeymoon destination?"
"But it can't be our honeymoon. We've been married for years."
"Ale," You said, cradling her face," We never had a honeymoon. So what if this one is a little late?"
One time, when you and Alexia were crammed in her tiny bed, she spoke to you about building a house. Somewhere on the outskirts of the city but still close enough to drive to training.
Somewhere big enough to to have dogs and raise children. Somewhere to host garden parties and to celebrate your children's birthdays. Somewhere large enough that you and Alexia could each have your own offices.
It was too expensive back then to think about renting your own place, let alone buying some land to build one but now you had money.
You'd spoken to architects and contractors. You had found a piece of land big enough. You had already asked permission from the council to build on it.
The only thing left now was to show Alexia.
"Are we going on a date?" She was practically skipping at your side as you lead her from the car. "Because we've driven out of town. Is there some fancy restaurant nearby?"
It was in the perfect place. Out of the city enough to have peace and quiet but close enough to the stadium and training centre. Close enough to good schools for children to attend.
"Amor," She said when you came to a stop in front of a big patch of land," I don't understand. What am I looking at?"
You unfurled your roll of paper, holding it up high so Alexia could see the design for the outside of the house.
You pointed at one of the windows.
"Our room," You said," Big enough to have the queen's size bed you've always wanted with an en-suite and closet space. That would be our first kid's room. We can decorate it how we want. Two bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs."
"Amor?"
"Another set of bedrooms and an attic. Two offices, one for each of us. A spare room for visitors."
"I-"
"Open plan lounge and kitchen and then a second living room, probably for the dogs. A patio out into the garden for your practices."
"Amor...I don't understand."
"I'm going to build you the house you wanted when we were kids, Alexia," You said," Here. On this patch of land."
Tears welled in Alexia's eyes as she looked out at the open space.
"Really?"
You nodded. "Really."
"But-But why?"
"Why?" You couldn't help but laugh, cradling Alexia's cheeks in your hands. "Because you deserve everything, my love."
Something in Alexia's expression changed when you said that and she pulled you closer. "Everything?"
You nodded. "Everything and anything."
She whispered in your ear and you bit at your lip.
"Even that?"
You looked into her eyes, cheeks turning red. "Especially that."
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coffe-and-tea-time · 2 days
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Yandere shop! Choose your yandere!
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I was thinking, did you ever listen to yandere asmr videos? If so, you will catch on quickly that this is based on the yandere shop, which was so popular in asmr videos during the pandemia. - coffee
If you didn’t, quick summary Coffee gave me: imagine if there is a place where you can enter and you can ‘buy’ (they pay you since you are going to take care of a serial killer so he don’t kill people while you two got your twisted love) a yandere of your choosing. - tea
Word count: 1.2k but this will be edited to correct misspellings or weird sentence structure later, sorry in advance.
tw: yandere behavior, willing reader, delulu, written in you/yours, reader is a little nervous but really interested, you can choose humans yanderes and non-human (although humanoid) yanderes!
You fix your clothing and take a deep breath, your mind filled with ‘what if..’ yet, you were here, in a place that you didn’t trust was real
A creak takes you out of your thoughts, a smiling man dressed rather formally, greets you cheerfully.
“Sorry to interrupt when you are so absorb in your pretty mind My dear, but you know, a little push may help you”
He said as he extended his hand to you, well, you already made your way here hoping to get a yandere so you gather all your corague as you take the man's hand. He led inside the shop, you can hear the click of the door closing behind you as you follow him.
“Oh, I hope you weren’t thinking of backing up so quickly Dear, want something to drink?”
You gently shake your shake as you sit down in one of the couches, on the inside it looks pretty much like a coffee shop.
“Smart choice but you still seem rather nervous, want to say something before I go ahead and show you the catalog?”
“Well, I wanted to know, what can you do for the yandere you like to like you back? What if the one I choose doesn't like me back?”
Your worries were met with a not-so-subtly laugh from the man which make you kind of annoyed and embarrassed.
“Sorry Dear, I just never thought I ever meet somebody that feel insecure about the love of a yandere”
Now you wanted to punch him, is a normal question to ask! The yandere have their own way to fall in love!
“Let me give you a quick explanation, if they had a darling, both of us know they would be busy stalking them. The yanderes we have don’t have a darling, but are eager for the sense of love on their own way which may not suit everyone so to avoid problems, this shop was put in place as a matchmaker between differents kinds of yanderes and people who enjoy them"
You sight in relief as you nod.
“alright, who is more likely to go even more insane if they don't get a darling soon.."
"Sorry, what did you just say? I couldn't hear you well"
"Oh, nothing Dear, I was just searching for the ones that been waiting the most, is how the list work, I will show you a few options first so you have an idea, you can ask for another kind if you had something else in mind, I'm sure we got something that will suit your taste; Although, do remember that is just one yandere, we had problems with that before"
"How is it that someone got the permission to have more than one? I thought you guys will keep in track that since well, it's dangerous for anyone"
"She didn't have permission but she manage because she stubbornly wanted a yandere harem, the result are expected, averyone in that house died except for one yandere, he is again on the list, and as you can guess, he end up more being more... intense. He is totally your perfect option if you like a very possessive yandere, he's a more serious yandere for that experience"
“That will be dangerous for me too?”
"Dont worry Dear, he is truly desperate for love like the rest, his name is Dizie. But if you rather a more gentle treat, Gabriel is your guy, I don't know much about him since he said that only his darling will get to know everything about him. As far as I know, he's kind of yandere that will kiss the ground were his darling walk, a worshiper you can say, if you like someone looks at you like you are a deity, he's definitely your perfect match"
“Isn’t every yandere a worshiper in their own ways?”
"Well, I guess? Is true that others have another específic ways to worship, look, he's the baker, relishes in your enjoyment of their pastries, a very skilled baker that knows how to include the most unique of ingredients to make the sweetest of treats, dreams of putting his heart and soul in every treat he bakes for his darling, his name is Oliver”
"What kind of ingredients tho?"
“The next one you may like is actually a popular singer, he chooses to keep anonymous unless chosen, but if you want to be a celebrity or date one, he is someone you can guess that will love to spoil their darling, he’s on the talkative side, if you like art or stuff like that, you will enjoy his house. although he babbles a lot of how he wish to hear the voice of his darling obsessively for hours”
The seller seems to dodge your question.
“Ah, of course, we also have some special yanderes if humans are boring or less attractive for you, look, he’s Myotis, the classic vampire, he even has wings! Isn’t it perfect to see the sky closer while you enjoy the company of a yandere that looks like he just came out of a book? If you are also into short kings, you gonna love him without a doubt”
"He's not going to drain me out of blood, is he?"
“Dear, why would a yandere who waits so long for their darling, kill them? But if vampires aren't your type, you could go for a mothman! You will be the light of his life, literally. He’s a big softie and kind of clumsy; he just eagerly waits for the arrival of his daylight. A good choose if you like special clingy yanderes, he is not around humans too much, but he said he wanted to be called Lior if he got chosen. Oh, if you are on the stronger side, you may want to keep your eye on Tarak, he said something about his name meaning something like star and protector I think, I guess he chose the name by himself, he’s a prideful dragon and really loves to talk, honestly, I’m not that intelligent to understand some things that he say, but if you like to know new things by listening, asking or reading, he's your man, you can try trying to teach him something new, I don't think is impossible to archive”
“You know what ag…”
You stopped talking when you catch a security camera in a corner moving around frantically yet appear like not seeing anything?
“Don’t mind him, is just Grier, even though I don’t know if that's his real name, I do know he loves trying to spy here using the security cameras so we end up having to put tape on them when a darling is coming to the shop; as you can guess, he’s a hacker, if you choose him, you will be very well protected and taken cared of since you gonna be being watched even if you think you are alone, if that what you wish for, please do choose him.”
The seller looks at you, waiting for an answer, to choose what kind of yandere you want or ask for a specific type now.
“You don’t really go outside too much, so I don’t think you gonna have problems with any of them”
You act like you didn’t hear his murmur as you look at the papers in your hand of every yandere he just talked about.
If your favorite options lose or you want something specific, just send an ask! We love comments and interactions in general so don't be shy.
sorry for any misspellings or weird sentence structure ❣
images from pinterest ⚘
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lnfours · 6 hours
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Lando making reader go from "don't forget to pull out, okay?" to "pleasepleaseplease come inside, i need it, i need it"
the switch up would be absolutely bonkers and i know it. also my friends and i just rewatched all the after movies and all i could think about was that one scene in the home gym but w lando and i need it.
smut (18+ please!)
lando thoughts? lando thoughts.
your nails digging into his biceps felt like heaven as his lips kissed yours, a soft moan rising from his throat. your head tilted back against the pillows, letting his lips travel down your jaw and your neck. he kissed all the way down to your collarbone, his hips meeting yours as you tugged on the curls at the top of his head.
“lando, fuck,” you sounded so pretty moaning his name. breathless, back arching off the mattress. a sight he never wanted to forget.
“yeah?” he asked, hands grabbing your thighs and wrapping them around his waist. the new position making him fuck you deeper. you moaned loudly at the feeling, fingers now raking down his back, “like this baby?”
“mhm,” was all you could manage to say.
“where do you want me to come?” his hands slipping between your bodies and finding your clit with ease. your mouth fell agape at the feeling, hips bucking up into his touch.
“fuck- in me. please.” you begged and he raised an eyebrow at you.
“thought you wanted me to pull out?”
“not anymore,” you panted, “i want you to fill me up.”
his eyes rolled back, hips suddenly slamming into you a little faster, “shit, you’re sure?”
you nodded, the familiar warm feeling spreading through your lower stomach, “please. i’m so close.”
“me too, baby,” he said, “gonna fill you up. just like you want.”
you moaned at his words. thighs shaking as he worked you up, “i’m gonna come.”
“me too,” he said, “come for me, love.”
you moaned as you squeezed him tightly, body convulsing as you let your orgasm wash over you. he followed in pursuit, his orgasm getting buried deep inside you as he rode out his high.
you whimpered softly as he pulled out, eyes locked to where your bodies were previously conjoined. he watched the way your thighs shook, spreading your legs and watching his cum drip from inside of you. he moaned at the sight, damn near hard again as he leaned down.
you gasped as his tongue gently licked a stripe up your pussy, his fingers replacing it shortly after as he fucked the remaining fluids back into you.
“fuckin’ hell,” he mumbled, kissing the inside of your thigh as you grasped at his curls, “you’re gonna be the death of me.”
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wikiangela · 3 days
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"I'm going to ask Tommy to marry me." Buck says out of the blue one random evening, sitting in Eddie's living room, spread out in the armchair, sipping a beer, eyes on the TV, where Eddie and Christopher are playing a video game. His tone is even and firm, not even a hint of hesitation, it's not a huge revelation, or even a decision he's made just now. He's been thinking about it for weeks, maybe months. He doesn't know why he says it now, it just slips out - maybe he just needed to talk to his best friend about it.
"Really?" he hears a hint of surprise in Eddie's voice, but when he looks at his best friend, he's still focused on trying to beat his son at the game. He's smiling, sparing a glance at Buck. "That's great, Buck."
"Yeah?" he breathes out, feeling even more settled now. He wasn't nervous, exactly, but still felt kind of like he did when he came out to Eddie. Like he just wanted his best friend to approve, to support him - and he had no doubt he would.
"Of course," Eddie answers easily. "You guys are perfect together, and you love each other, and if you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with Tommy, yeah, go for it. I'm happy for you," he adds, finally looking at Buck, a soft, genuine smile on his face. Christopher uses this moment to win the game, and Eddie groans at his triumphant yell. "Aw, not fair, Buck distracted me." Both Buck and Chis laugh, while Eddie pouts for a moment, before a smile breaks through anyway.
"Well, I won." Chris shrugs with a grin. "And I think it'd be so cool if you and Tommy get married," he adds, moving his attention to Buck.
"Yeah?" Buck repeats, his smile even wider now. Having two of his favorite people not only really love his partner - Buck's pretty sure Tommy's the first one to spend so much time with all of them together, and it feeling so right - but also approve of Buck wanting to tie him into their family forever.
"Duh, Tommy's the coolest." Chris rolls his eyes. "Better lock him down while you can," he jokes, and Buck gasps in surprise. He's such a teenager.
"Wow, rude. He's not going anywhere." he shakes his head with a laugh. That much he's sure of, for the first time in his life he's not scared of getting left, of his partner getting bored or fed up. He knows Tommy's gonna be right at his side no matter what.
"Not if you put a ring on it." Eddie joins his son's teasing. Laughing, Buck reaches over to the table to pick up a chip from a bowl and throw it at Eddie, who dodges it as it lands somewhere on the couch. "Hey!"
"But seriously, you don't think it's too soon?" Buck asks after a moment, a little bit of nerves seeping into his tone. He's more than sure about wanting to marry Tommy. He's just a little scared that he's gonna freak him out. They have talked about this, about their future, what they want out of this relationship, out of life, but they never really discussed any timelines, and Buck might be a little in his head about this. Hence why he needed to talk to someone about it, probably.
"Buck, you've been together for over a year. Some people get married after less." Eddie raises an eyebrow. "When you know, you know." He shrugs, and Buck releases a breath. Because he does know. He has known for a long time now.
"So you think he'll say yes?" Buck asks, but he knows the answer before Eddie has a chance to roll his eyes with fond exasperation. Tommy loves him. He loves Tommy so much his heart wants to burst out of his chest and live in Tommy's. Tommy is his forever, he's sure of it, and he knows that when he asks, and it's going to be very soon, he'll get a positive answer.
"He'll say yes." Eddie says with a small shake of his head and a wide smile. "Now, two important questions from me: who's gonna be your best man, and do you need help planning and picking out a ring?"
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 17 hours
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Indefinite Hiatus
Hi, Loves! As you can probably tell, I've been absent again. In frank terms, I tried to get back into writing CoD but simply couldn't find the previous motivation that I feverishly possessed before; I don't feel that intense need to write for the characters, their world, or their struggles. This doesn't come lightly, as some of my best times spent on this blog were posting and seeing the heartwarming reactions from you guys. I've made friends, memories, etc.
To be completely honest, I was writing about a type of love that I never really thought I'd find in real life, and trying to cope with that belief through this blog.
The issue is that, now, I have.
I won't go into much about my boyfriend, as I value my/his privacy, but I've never met someone who's so incredibly kind and respectful; compassionate and utterly selfless.
I feel no need to write about other men when I have the epitome of a perfect person telling me that he loves me.
I know this brings in questions about my upcoming works and my multi-part projects, and, unfortunately, I have no answers. I won't force myself to finish something and ruin what story it already had because I rushed to the end/etc. For now, everything is staying where it is for the foreseeable future.
I won't be deleting anything - this blog is going nowhere. Feel free to hang around if you wish, and, if not, I had such a blast writing for you:
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and, to all of you, I wish you only the best.
- Hal
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lyrefromthesea · 1 day
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Male pillars x Reader - sitting on their lap
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author's note: I'm strictly against any kind of sexual interactions with minors. That's why I will either exclude Muichiro from such fics of or portray a wholesome interaction instead.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Muichiro x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: suggestive words and actions
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Tengen:
"excuse me? I'm married!" he dramatically exclaimed, looking down at you. the man was already trying to refrain from smiling, watching you turn your head towards him.
"i'm sure Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma will forgive me." you answered, showing him your hand. he smirked at the all too familiar ring. he was glad he had married you.
"just playin', i could never disappoint the flamboyant person i married!" he laughed, clearly proud of himself. when you cocked your eyebrow at him, he let out a dramatic gasp, pulling you closer.
"are you trying to say i'm not the most perfect husband you could imagine?" he asked, displaying a huge amount of shock. you knew he was just making fun, especially when he pressed your back against his chest, bringing his lips to your ear.
"you were saying entirely different things yesterday." he said, watching you shudder at his words. you slapped his knee, scolding him for saying such things outside.
"come on, you know you love it!"
Obanai:
he freezes, his brain nearly malfunctioning. it's not like you've never sat on his lap before, but you usually gave him a warning first - asked for his approval.
"[name]? what's-" he asked, surprised when your arms wrapped around his neck, barely giving Kaburamaru time to slither away. words got stuck in his throat, feeling your lips against his mask - right above his own.
"nothing. i was just feeling affectionate." you answered, shifting to wrap your arms around his torso. he looked down at you, letting out a quiet yelp when your hips moved a bit too much on his lap.
"oh..?" you looked at him, a smile slowly forming on your lips. a blush made his way towards his cheeks, luckily covered by his mask. at least he felt lucky, you would've liked to see him blush.
"it looks like you're feeling affectionate too, Obanai." you chuckled, purposely drawing light circles with your hips. of course you had noticed the growing bulge in his pants, his hands now holding yours.
"don't tease me, [name].."
Rengoku:
"little flame! how was your day?" he enthusiastically asked, his arms wrapping around your torso. he pulled you closer, placing his chin on your shoulder.
"it was okay, i missed you." you answered, leaning against his chest. he smiled at you, enjoying the way your bodies were pressed together so gently.
"we can't have that, little flame! how about we go eat later?" he asked, holding you a bit closer. you chuckled at his words, he really loved taking you to new places - especially restaurants.
"i'd like that. let's go eat something later."
Sanemi:
"and what the hell are you doing?" Sanemi asked, feeling you make yourself comfortable on his lap.
he had cleaned his sword moments prior, hearing the door open - it was you. you moved towards him without warning, getting between him and his sword.
"getting your attention." you answered, moving even closer. don't think he didn't notice the way you purposely squished your chest against his own.
"yeah? didn't I give ya enough attention, sweetheart?" he teased, watching you pout in response. you had been alone for far too long, you finally wanted to spend time with him.
"you've been working on your sword for two hours now.." you complained. he placed it down, knowing that you were right. he just felt like the proper care could safe his ass one day, though a shiny sword probably wasn't that important.
"fine, ya win. this was getting uncomfortable anyways." he answered, almost making you question what he meant until he pressed his hips against yours more. oh, now you could feel it too.
"does that mean you want my attention as well-" you asked playfully, getting cut off by his lips pressing against yours before you could finished talking.
Giyuu:
"is everything alright?" his voice broke the silence, you've been sitting on his lap for almost 5 minutes now, not saying a single word. he was confused, not sure if you were fine or needed help.
"Giyuu, attention?" you asked, feeling him relax under you. he had been tense, thinking you could've been hurt somewhere. your words instantly calmed him down, his lips pressing against yours gently.
he didn't expect you to turn his soft kiss into something more passionate. his hands slowly came to hold your hips, tongues swishing against each other.
you broke the kiss, panting against his lips. he pressed his forehead against yours, pulling you a bit closer, only to have your hips start grinding slightly.
"l- love.. t- that's not.." he muttered, his cheeks visibly growing more red. hands squeezing your hips more, trying to create more friction. he could only moan when you finally started grinding against him properly.
"i.. i need to go on a mission later.." he panted against your lips, but he didn't object when you kissed him again, your hand wandering to his belt.
Muichiro:
"Muichiro! i finally caught up to you.." you heaved, letting yourself fall onto his lap. you had been running for nearly twenty minutes now, watching the boy leave his estate without food. being the good friend you were, you ran after him.
"[name]? what are you doing here..?" he asked, letting you lean against him. your cheeks were flushed from running. it would've been different if you also were a hashira, but you still had much to learn.
"you.. you forget your food, Mui.." you panted, reaching into your pocket. he looked rather surprised when he saw the small box of food he usually brought with him.
"thank you..! i've completely forgotten." he laughed, eventually coaxing a smile out of you. you gave him the box, seeing his eyes lit up at the promise of food.
he wanted to dive right in before he had a quiet growl come from your stomach, making your cheeks flush. "do you want some?" he asked, watching you shake your head.
"i brought my own!" you countered, grabbing into your back once more. silence filled the room when you noticed you had only brought his food.
his arm wrapped around your torso, forcing you to stay on his lap a while longer. "let's share." he said, offering you some of his food. you knew he wouldn't let you go until you have had a healthy portion.
Gyomei:
"welcome back." the giant said, feeling you plop onto his lap, nuzzling against his chest. you let out a tired hum, feeling a large hand soothingly rub over your arm.
"is there something wrong? you're more quiet than usual." he asked, gently bringing your head closer with his hand - allowing you to be closer to him. you could hear the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat.
your day had been stressful, but he somehow always managed to calm you down. his warmth. his voice. his actions. they put your mind at ease.
"i know it's ridiculous, but i've felt really stressed out lately. i just want a break.." you muttered, closing your eyes. you were trying to focus on his heartbeat and ignore everything else around you.
"it's not ridiculous, you deserve a break. perhaps a visit to the hot spring would help calm you down?" he offered, feeling you nod against his chest. you felt warm hands rub over your thighs, his head now closer to yours.
"and i could pamper you a bit more after that.." he muttered against your ear, your eyes opening again. the warmth pooling in your gut could probably rival the hot spring's temperature
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shoyudon · 14 hours
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𝐈'𝐌 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 .ᐟ
them trying to make it up to you after forgetting your date.
starring. gojo, sukuna, toji x fem! reader
heads up. cursing, not everyone has a happy ending :D
tags. @dreamsarenicer @deftearzi @ninikrumbs @litlebruh
note. this is a continuation from "DOESN'T MATTER, I LEFT!" make sure to check it out to make sense of everything!
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──────〃★ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
gojo is far from miserable — if there was a word to describe a state worse than miserable, that is what gojo is feeling right now. he didn't know what to do besides the countless messages and calls he's sent out to you.
he's tried knocking on your apartment door for days, but to no avail, you refused to see him. telling him to go back home and to leave you alone. hell, gojo's even took a few days off from work, spending his day off trying to get you to talk to him face-to-face about everything.
"y/n," gojo knocks on your door, his head leaning onto the hard wooden surface — even without looking, you could tell how tired he is. the stress from work, from his relationship, everything; just falling apart, "i know you're in there, i can hear the tv show running."
you scoffed, leaning back onto the couch. gojo sighs out, banging his head gently onto the door, grunting out, "can we please talk about this . . ? you can't shut me out forever," he spoke.
and before he knew it, the door swung open, there you were; standing right in front of him. if looks could kill, the strongest would be six feet under, "stop coming over, you're not welcomed here, satoru. we don't need to talk about anything, i made it clear that you weren't ready for a relation—"
"you won't even listen to what i have to say about it?" gojo cuts you off, his brows furrowed; the creases between his brows deepening.
"no, i won't. i don't have to, you're not ready and you know it," you tell him, hand on the door and a hand on the doorway, looking at him calmly, "listen, go home. stop coming over, and stop trying to text me from different numbers."
"i am ready. i'm sorry for leaving you there, please let me make it up to you— i can't do this y/n. i'm really sorry, i fucked up. i just—" he looks at you desperately, his cerulean blue eyes doing all the conversation. gojo's never felt so weak before until now.
"can we please just talk about this . . ? i'll make it up to you, i promise — i just . . . right now i'm — can i just —" he rambles on in panic, his fatigue catching up to him, arms flailing around.
furrowing your brows, you eyed him, "what are you— satoru, calm down."
he inhaled sharply, "i just . . . i know i've been so caught up in work. please let me make it up to you, i took a few days off, please? can we talk about this? i don't want to break up with you, you're all i have . . ." gojo choked out, inhaling sharply at the end of his sentence.
"satoru, i don't know, okay? you're busy — yes. saving the world, saving people, saving everyone. i love you, i really do—"
"why are you breaking up with me then . . ?" gojo whispers out softly, brows furrowed, his pupils looking everywhere in panic and discomfort, "why are you breaking up with me if you love me? i'll do better, i promise."
"just — do better. 'm not going to accept you right now, show me you can do better and we'll see." well, that was better than a straight up no, gojo nodded his head vigorously.
"okay, okay. that's good, i promise. i'll be better, i'll be better," he whispers, unconsciously clutching onto your hands.
──────〃★ 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍
teaching sukuna to operate a phone might be one of the most regretful thing you did. waking up to more than forty missed calls and thirty voice mails wasn't the most exciting things in the world — especially with his voicemails being cursing contents because h didn't know if his previous voice mails went through or not.
"why is it that mortals use this rectangle— did my voice go through?" was almost in everything, a few voicemails containing questions like asking to meet up face to face to communicate about everything that had been going on; much to his disdain.
one to which you finally replied to after two days. figuring it was going to be better if you made it clear to him that you no longer wanted anything to do with him.
sitting on a coffee shop, you stared at him, "i'll say this one time, stop contacting me, i have nothing else i want to do with you in the future. so refrain from sending me more voicemails or missed calls," sukuna scoffs, looking into your eyes.
"you're leaving over three hours?" he snarkily commented, more aggressive than he wanted it to come out or intended, "did i not say that i would book another place? i was caught up in another matter."
if you could just pass out out of disbelief right now, you would. it was honestly a shame that sukuna had to make matters worst with his comments, "are you — look, i've listened enough. and i want nothing else to do with you right now, nor do i want anything to do with you in the future. so please, i am ending things between us right now. i deserve better than this, and you know it."
sukuna clenched his jaw, clearly furious with how everything is turning out to be. i mean; being the king of curses, he expects everything to go his way. and currently, it wasn't.
"take that back, you are not 'breaking up' with me," he mutters out in annoyance.
"sukuna, yes, i am breaking up with you." he narrowed his eyes when you called him 'sukuna' instead of 'ryo' like you always do. sukuna never liked it when people addressed him by 'ryo', but with you — he had grown so accustomed that it felt odd hearing the word 'sukuna' escape your throat.
"don't address me as such."
"it is your name, no?" he clenched his fists in annoyance, "i've said what i need to say. stop calling me and stop sending me useless voicemails, i won't change my mind. and i won't indulge in this relationship anymore. you think three hours is a short time? i made myself a fool in front of the whole place."
"did i not tell you that i had matters to attend to? you're being a bit childish, no?"
"if breaking up with you over disrespect is childish, consider me childish then," you told him and stood up, "goodbye."
──────〃★ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
"i know you're in there, open the door," toji banged on your door just an hour after you ended both your relationship and the call, "woman, open this door before i break it in."
he sighs out loudly, looking around — he felt like a burglar, standing on your porch menacingly. toji knocks again, "so that's it? you're just going to throw away everything? not talk to me about it? i never agreed to breakin' up with you."
he stares at the door as it swung open just before his eyes, his eyes falling on your figure, "so, you're finally ready to talk about this?" he scoffs, crossing his arms, "listen, i forgot, i fucked up and y' definitely aren't happy."
"ha ha. no shit, toji. you waste my time and my efforts, all you can say is that you fucked up and that you'll make it up to me?" you tell him calmly, leaning on your door, "you think that's enough for the constant disappointment you made me feel? you fucked up? you'll make it up to me? you didn't even say sorry."
toji furrowed his brows, inhaling sharply, "what do you want me to do?"
"what do i want you to do is leave me alone, and let me break up with you, because i'm so tired of you constantly telling me you fucked up instead of you're sorry. which is a big difference and i'm actually making a big deal out of it. i don't deserve this, you know?"
he shakes his head, "no, don't do that breakin' up fuckery with me. i'll do anythin' to make it up to you."
"make it up to me by letting me break up with you, that's all i want. you're not ready for a serious and committed relationship, and i'm not going to be the scapegoat for your constant mishaps. i'm tired of having to lie to myself that you're trying your best to be a good boyfriend when you make mistakes like this over and over again. it's ridiculous, toji."
toji blinked his eyes, looking at you, "no. it's a mistake, i fuckin' promise you. it just went over me — i knew i was missing something, and i thought —"
"toji. i've talked to you about this same mistake countless of times, and it went over your head again? and again? 'm tired, okay. can you just leave me alone, we had what we had, we had our time, and well, nothing lasts forever. do better next time with someone else," you tell him, getting ready to shut the door.
but of course, he wasn't really going to take this closure from you, slipping in his foot to stop the door from completely shutting, "move your foot, toji," you sigh out.
"you can't just sum it up like this, i don't wanna break up," he sighs out, "i know i fucked up, again. can't you give me another chance or somethin'? i'll make it up to you."
"i gave you more chances than i should've. bye, toji," you pushed his foot away and shut the door, ending the conversation.
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© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !
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Text
Bane of My Existence - A QZ Joel Miller One Shot
You and Joel Miller have never gotten along, always at odds whether working together or avoiding each other. But when a smuggling job goes bad, you discover that there might be more to his harsh demeanor than meets the eye.
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Pairing: QZ Smuggler!Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers; Joel is bad with emotions; hurt/comfort; canon typical violence; injury that's probably poorly handled because I don't medicine; vague threat of SA (not by Joel, not made to reader); unprotected vaginal sex. Joel carries reader but look... My Joels are all 6'5" and strong as hell, especially in life threatening situations. Man can carry anybody. I'm in love with him because he's a big strong man. No description of reader.
Length: 8.9k (sorry)
A/N: A lil one shot gift for my beautiful bestie @dundienominee :)
Full Masterlist | AO3
“Hell no.” 
Of course Joel Miller said hell no to working with you. Of course he did. 
You weren’t surprised at Joel’s reaction when his smuggling partner, Tess, brought you to their safe house in the QZ. He’d never been the president of your fan club. 
“Joel,” she sighed. 
“Fuck no,” he said. “Not bringin’ her anywhere, she’s a goddamn liability.” 
“Joel,” she said again, sterner this time. 
You, however, just smirked, watching him pace and glare at you, his face getting flushed as he did. 
“She takes stupid fuckin’ risks,” Joel said. “She’s cocky, she’s…”
“Saved your ass from infected?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. 
You knew you were adding fuel to the fire. Tess glared at you for it. Your smirk grew. 
“Wouldn’t have been near the fuckin’ infected if it weren’t for you,” he snapped. “Not. Goin. With. Her.” 
“Well, you don’t have a choice,” Tess said, standing up a little straighter and crossing her arms, staring her partner down. “She’s the one with the contact, they agreed to two people meeting them and she has to be one of them…” 
“How the hell’d you make a contact?” Joel turned his full attention to you, his eyes molten hot and angry. “Anyone you touch ends up fuckin’ dead…” 
“Oh fuck off,” you snapped before you regained your composure. “Don’t get pissy with me because big bad Joel Miller isn’t the top of the smuggling heap in the QZ…” 
“I ain’t pissy!” 
“…Not the top of the heap in anything at all, really…” 
“That’s it!” Joel stalked over, looking like he wanted to slug you. Instead, he just put his finger in your face, a slightly unhinged look in his eyes. “You think I’m doin’ a goddamn thing with you…” 
“You don’t have a choice, Texas,” Tess came and stood beside you, her arms crossed as she looked to Joel. “You burned the bridge we had with the FEDRA officer I need to buy off to get our next round of pills inside, I can’t go on this run because I have to deal with the mess you made when you couldn’t keep your shit together. We want to actually be set before shit gets snowed in for winter? We need her connection. So. You’re going, you’re leaving tonight, and you’re not going to fuck this up. Got it?” 
His jaw tightened. 
“Got it.” 
“Good,” she looked to you. “Your contact knows you’re coming?” 
“They do,” you said, serious now and completely ignoring the wall of muscle who was still standing uncomfortably close to you. “The walk back is going to fucking suck but it should be worth it. Good with the split?” 
“Good might be a strong word for 60/40,” Tess said, shaking her head a little but grinning all the same. “But I’ll take it.” She looked between you and Joel. “Trusting you two to not kill each other out there. Don’t make me regret it. See you in a few days.” 
She left the two of you there in the threadbare apartment without another word, Joel’s glare practically drilling a hole into your skull. 
“Together again, eh Miller?” You smirked at him. 
He didn’t respond. He just went and sat heavily on the worn couch before lying down and closing his eyes. 
“What, didn’t get enough sleep?” You asked, going and standing over him. 
“Slept fine,” he said, eyes still closed. “Just would rather spend the few hours we have before we leave the QZ not listenin’ to you.” 
You rolled your eyes but took a moment to look at Joel when he wasn’t glaring at you. 
It was a rare occurrence, seeing him when he wasn’t scowling and pissed. He let himself relax down into the cushions and the lines in his face eased. As much as you hated to admit it - and you did hate it - Joel was beautiful. Frustratingly so. What’s worse, he’d somehow gotten better looking in the years you’d known him. Jerk.
You’d first met him before you came to the QZ, almost 10 years ago now. You were holed up in your own little corner of Boston, doing your best to stay out of the way of FEDRA, infected and raiders alike. 
It was basically a full-time job, even more so since you’d become the last person standing. A job that you failed at the day you met Joel Miller. 
And, as much as he liked to blame you for it, he was the one who showed up in your corner of town. You’d been napping through the worst of the afternoon heat in mid-July when you heard a clatter: someone tripped one of your alarms. 
“Fuckin’…” 
He swore loud enough that you heard him from your perch and you watched him shake glass out of the wrinkles of his shirt. 
“Someone’s here,” the second man said, much quieter. “That ain’t no accident…” 
The two men moved slowly, cautiously, their rifles raised as they searched for whoever it was who set that trap. When you thought they were far enough away, you started to move, slowly and quietly, going to sneak up on them and take them out before they could do the same to you. 
But as you drew close, you heard it. The clicking. 
You gasped, close enough to the strange men that they heard it and close enough to the clickers that they did, too. 
“Move!” The larger man snapped out of his moment of shock first, shooting forward and grabbing you and throwing you to the side before shooting at the incoming infected. You scrambled to get back up, fumbling to get the knife you’d been readying to thrust into that man’s back. 
It turned out, you didn’t need it. At least, not for the infected. The two men made quick work of the clickers and turned to you, your knife raised and ready to take at least one of them down with you. 
“The fuck are you doin’ out here?” The larger man said instead. 
“The fuck do you think?” You snapped. “Go on, do it! Kill me, take my shit, whatever it is you’re going to do…” 
“Don’t much like killing women,” he said, looking to the other man, their guns still in hand but pointed to the ground. They looked alike, these two. Like they could be related. 
“What, because I’m a woman you think I’m not a threat?” You asked, brows raised before realizing that you probably shouldn’t be egging on the large, armed men in front of you. 
“Not really, princess,” the younger man said, voice teasing, and you considered throwing your knife at him. 
“Should count yourself lucky that we don’t,” the older man said. “Why don’t you come with us, out pickin’ up just a few things and then headin’ back to the QZ…” 
“Right,” you scoffed. “Because I really wanna live under fucking FEDRA.” 
“Guessing you want to live,” he said. “Got news for you, princess. Even we’re steerin’ clear of this area of Boston after this. Lot more infected than we bargained for. Your little hideout ain’t gonna be safe much longer. Assuming you want to keep on living, QZ’s your best bet.” 
“And you’re just, what, inviting me along out of the goodness of your heart?” You scoffed. “Please.” 
“Don’t much like killing women and don’t much like leaving people to die, either,” the other man said. “Seem capable enough. Come with us, at least out of this part of the city. Would rather not have you added to the infected population.” 
You ground your teeth for a moment, considering. They could easily over power you. You were out numbered, out gunned and they were both large and strong. 
But… you had been noticing more and more infected lately. You hadn’t left your hideout in almost two weeks and you were low on supplies. Part of the reason you hadn’t dared venture out in so long was the seemingly constant press of infected you could see from the best vantage points in your building. You’d been starting to worry that you wouldn’t have a good opportunity to leave for supplies again. And, if you did, you were starting to worry your home would be overrun when you got back. 
These two were the closest thing you had to a safe option out. 
So, you took it. The pair introduced themselves and you were right, they were related. Joel and Tommy Miller, smugglers who lived inside the Boston QZ. They were strong, smart, capable. Handsome, too, not that it really mattered. What mattered much more was your ability to keep each other alive. 
And, it turned out, you were useful to them. Enough that they wanted you around as help for other runs outside the QZ. It made sense, you knew certain corners of the QZ better than anyone else seemed to. It had been your territory - at least, in some way - for a long time. 
Then, it happened. You’d taken to calling it ‘the incident’ for lack of any better word. You were out on a smuggling run with Joel and another man, Harvey. In spite of the fact that you’d been working together for years, Joel had never really warmed up to you. He tolerated you at best and it seemed like growling was his preferred form of communication where you were involved but you always made it back to the QZ in one piece when you went out together. You watched each other’s backs - you were proud that your kill count was higher than his and that you were almost positive he’d be dead by now if it weren’t for you. 
The three of you were at the edge of the city, heading to rendezvous with someone from a small settlement in New York State when you heard it, the first, distinctive shriek of infected. 
Suddenly, there were dozens of them, maybe more than 100, far more than you were capable of handling even if you had unlimited ammunition. 
And, like a fool, you froze. 
You’d scouted ahead and saw no signs of them, no indication of anything more than one or two strays that had been ambling around. You had no idea where they’d come from or how they’d come to be here but that didn’t matter. They were here, they were bearing down on you and you couldn’t seem to make your body move, the shock of the sight making you completely shut down. 
It was Joel who saved you. 
“Move!” He’d grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and thrown you behind him as he fired at the infected, pressing back as quickly as he could while laying down cover fire. Harvey joined him, their guns up and blazing as you tried to force your body to listen to you. “Fucking run!” 
Your limbs decided to obey then and you moved as quickly as you could, turning and firing behind you when it felt like you had a moment to spare. 
But you misjudged that moment once. Just once, but that’s all it took. Infected were closer behind you than you realized and Joel dove in between you and the reaching, groping thing. 
“Joel!” You shrieked, desperately trying to get a shot off that wouldn’t hit Joel as he strained to hold back the runner who was snarling near his throat. You were about to shoot when Harvey tackled the creature, knocking it off of Joel but into the mass of infected that was closing in quickly. 
They swarmed him and he screamed and you took aim as Joel scrambled to his feet. He shoved you on before you could fire and you stretched to shoot around him but he nearly threw you away from the swarming monsters and your screaming companion. 
“He’s gone!” Joel yelled as you stared at him, aghast. “He’s gone, we have to fucking move, now go!” 
You kept turning, looking back toward the sound of the snarling and the screams. 
“We have to go back!” you said. “We can’t just leave him like that, we have to at least shoot him we can’t just leave him, we…” 
“You should’ve thought of that before you fucked up!” He kept pushing you forward, toward the QZ. “No point in gettin’ us killed to save a man who’s already dead.” 
Joel had gone from seemingly finding you to be a nuisance to hating you then. He refused to even be in the same room as you let alone leave the QZ with you again. 
It took you a long time, after that split, to figure out how to survive. You’d become dependent on the cards you got from smuggling to get by but you couldn’t leave the QZ on your own and expect to make it back in one piece, not with how things had devolved with raiders and infected in recent years. You found a small group who was going out from time to time - which is how you met Tess - and you cobbled together a living. 
You never worked with Joel again. 
At least, not until now. 
You sighed and perched in the window, watching the QZ go by and thinking of the best way out of the city once the sun went down. You tried not to think about the likelihood that Joel would kill you while you were outside. 
It was a long walk ahead of the both of you, 30 miles each way through infected no man’s land, not that raiders hadn’t been trying their damndest to get a foothold. But you had a connection there who had been growing marijuana and had a hell of a crop they were willing to trade for plenty of ammunition and antibiotics. You’d been orchestrating this trade with Tess for weeks, both of you carefully avoiding the sore subject of Joel. The initial plan had been you and her heading out but then Joel beat the shit out of a FEDRA guard for some imagined offense and they were suddenly without the connections they needed and suddenly, Joel became part of the plan. Lucky you. 
Once darkness started to fall, you picked up a little stone that was stuck in the frame of the cracked window. You took careful aim and flicked it, watching it sail to hit Joel square on the forehead. He twitched in his sleep, grimacing, but he didn’t wake. 
You looked around a moment, searching for something else to use against him. You found it in the form of a wad of paper that you had to stretch to reach but you did. You tightened the ball and aimed, throwing it. It didn’t make it quite as far, bouncing off his hands as they sat folded at the base of his chest. He didn’t even flinch at that. 
“Dammit,” you muttered, looking around again. You found a rubber band then, perking up a little as you picked it up. You arranged it carefully on your fingers, pulling it back and aiming it like a gun, targeting Joel’s nose. His oddly beautiful nose. Not that you ever really thought that way about him, of course. You shot the rubber band and it flew, snapping right where you’d aimed it. He jerked awake and you turned quickly so it seemed like you were just looking outside into the night. 
“Wha…” He mumbled. 
You turned your head to look at him as he sat up, seemingly disoriented. 
“You hit me with somethin’?” He asked. 
“What would I hit you with, Joel?” You asked. “I was about to come wake you up, though. Can’t get a late start because of your lazy ass…” 
“Show you lazy…” he muttered, hefting himself up off the sofa. “Let’s move.” 
You gave Joel this much, the man was efficient. You’d forgotten just how efficient in the years it had been since you’d last worked together. He cut through the QZ quickly and smoothly, the knowledge of routes run by FEDRA guards seemingly innate as he knew exactly when and where to avoid and how to do it. In what seemed like no time at all, you were outside the walls and starting into the ruins of the city. 
“Got a safe house about an hour’s walk,” he said, setting an almost punishing pace as you moved alongside him. “We get there, wait for daylight, press on in the morning.” 
“Oh, because you’re the decision maker?” You asked, brows raised, even though you agreed with him. “Just expect me to fall in line…” 
“You know what, princess?” He rounded on you, forcing you back into the wall of a building you were passing. “You’re lucky I came out here with you after the shit you’ve pulled…” 
“Shit I pulled? I fucked up!” You all but yelled at him. “I know it! I think about that all the fucking time, that he’d still be alive if it weren’t for me! I don’t need you to fucking remind me, I know what I did and I’m sure you’re fucking perfect and that no one’s ever died because you fucked up…” 
“You don’t know a goddamn thing,” he growled, pressing closer to you for a moment and his eyes were dark and dangerous. For a moment, you thought he might kill you. Or kiss you. He didn’t do either. Instead, he just stepped back, looking you up and down once. “Keep your shit together this time. Don’t want to die because of you.” 
Tears burned your throat and eyes and you swallowed them and walked a few steps behind Joel, trying to keep an eye out for signs of infected and raiders and trying to make sure that Joel didn’t die. Even if it was just out of spite. 
The next day was easier than you expected, too. You made it quickly out of the safe house in the morning and dodged a hoard of infected, skirting around the writhing mass of them lying on the street. You didn’t really feel like you could breathe until you were outside the city, where the air was cleaner and you didn’t feel the specter of what happened years ago looming over you. 
You and Joel mostly ignored each other, watching the tree line as you kept an eye out for whatever might be lurking for you there. But, every now and then, you thought you caught Joel looking at you out of the corner of your eye, his head snapping around the moment you seemed to take notice. 
After walking for most of the day and covering 20 miles, the two of you stopped and made camp, Joel deeming it safe enough to make a small fire. You watched him after the two of you had eaten and settled, the light casting flickering shadows on his face. 
Joel, you were almost loathe to admit, was an incredibly good looking man. There was a roughness to him that you found almost comforting in the world you were both trapped in but there was beauty to him, too. The symmetry of his features, the plush of his lips, the cut of his jaw. You wondered what he was like before all this, not just when he was younger but before this world had a chance to sink its teeth into him. Maybe you would have been friends then. Maybe something more than friends. 
“How’d you end up smuggling?” You asked, not able to keep sitting here in silence any more. 
“What?” He asked, looking up from where he was cleaning his gun. 
“Smuggling,” you said. “Doubt you were born a smuggler and you don’t seem like you were a drug mule or something in the before times. How’d you end up doing it?” 
“How does anyone end up doin’ anything?” He asked. “Needed cards, people needed drugs. If people want to pay me for ‘em, I’m not about to argue.” 
“So that’s it,” you said. “You woke up one morning and thought to yourself ‘I think I’m going to tell FEDRA to fuck off today by running drugs’ and started a whole new career.” 
He sighed but didn’t say anything. 
“I don’t buy it,” you continued, sitting back against the tree you were propped against. “There’s something else…” 
“Not your business if there is.” 
“So there is something else!” You said, almost smug. “I’m on the right track, excellent.” 
“You always this nosy?” 
“Usually,” you said. “Let’s see… Maybe Joel Miller just likes an excuse to hit things.” He scoffed but didn’t say anything. “Not that? Interesting… Maybe Joel Miller gets off on breaking the rules. Is that it? You have authority issues?” 
“Can we go back to not fuckin’ talking?” He asked. 
“Not authority issues then,” you nodded, ignoring him. “Well, that leaves just one other theory.” 
You were quiet, looking away from Joel and fighting the urge to smirk as you did. It only took a minute of silence before he sighed. 
“Goddammit,” he said. “What. What’s your theory.” 
You let the smirk happen then, looking back at him. 
“That Joel Miller doesn’t feel alive unless he’s about to die,” you said. “And that Joel Miller needs to feel something so he decides to do the thing that almost kills him because what else is there to have?” 
He watched you for a moment, his eyes hot and angry, before he looked back at his gun. 
You laughed once. 
“So predictable…” 
“And why do you do it?” He asked, looking up at you, the rage barely contained on his features. “Must have a reason, right? Livin’ outside the QZ as long as you did, fuckin’ around outside it now, what is it? You got some kind of death wish?” 
“Yes,” you said, looping your arms around your knees. He blinked at you in surprise for a moment and you laughed a little. “I’m not nearly as mysterious as you, it’s not some secret…” 
“Why?” He cut you off, gun set aside now. You frowned but he pressed on. “You got a life, why do you want to just throw it away…” 
“You call what I have a life?” You asked, brows raised. “Never thought you’d be so generous in regards to anything related to me…” 
“Ain’t it?” He asked. “Sure, it’s not what it was before, can’t just do what we did then but…” 
“You think that’s it?” You gaped at him. “That I miss being able to go to fucking happy hour with my coworkers or grab dinner at Chili’s so I might as well drop dead?” 
“That’s not…” 
“I lost people, Joel,” you snapped. “I know everybody did but when I say I lost people, I mean I lost everyone. By the time you and Tommy found me, there wasn’t a single person left on Earth I knew. My parents turned in the outbreak, they bit my brother and his wife and their daughter. I survived with my fiance for a while but he got shot by a FEDRA officer when we were trying to make our way to the fucking QZ and then I was alone. I stayed out there because, what, was I supposed to go live with the people who killed him? No thanks. What the fuck is there? So yeah, you know what? I smuggle shit. I like the risk. I like telling FEDRA to fuck off. I like being able to handle myself because I’m the only thing I can count on. Don’t act so fucking surprised that I’m not thrilled with life in the QZ just because you brought me there.” 
Joel was quiet for a moment and you just squared your jaw and looked away, arms crossed tightly over your chest. You knew you shouldn’t let Joel get to you the way he did - especially not after you’d picked at him and pushed him here - but he got under your skin the way no one else left alive really seemed to. You hadn’t spoken to anyone about your fiance, not in years. It was a wound you’d long set aside, a casualty in the war on humanity that had hollowed you out so much that it seemed like you couldn’t really feel anything unless you were on the edge of your own destruction. Or, apparently, picking a fight with Joel fucking Miller.
“Could be worse,” he said eventually. 
“Yeah, well.” 
“M’sorry.” 
You looked at him then, brows knitted together. 
“What?” 
“Said I’m sorry,” he said, voice a little gruff. “Didn’t… didn’t know. Wasn’t trying to… I’m sorry.” 
You blinked for a moment, trying to get your bearings. Of everything you’d expected to hear out of Joel Miller’s mouth, I’m sorry wasn’t it. 
“I’m sorry, too,” you said eventually. “If you want to talk…” 
“I don’t.” 
“Right,” you nodded. “Well…” 
“I got first watch,” he said, picking his gun back up. “Get some sleep.” 
The next day, you reached the trade you’d arranged, the woman you’d run into a few times when outside the QZ there with her partner. They hauled so much marijuana out - wrapped tightly in old newspaper - that they had to use wagons to carry it all. You unloaded your haul and the trade went smoothly, Joel lurking toward the back and standing guard, keeping a surly watch over the whole proceeding the entire time. It took some doing to pack all the pot into your bags but you managed it, thanking the couple and starting back toward the QZ. 
You were close to where you’d stopped the night before when it happened, the snarl of infected crawling over your skin. 
“Fuck,” you slung your rifle down from its place over your shoulder and turned to where the sound was coming from, seeing a cluster of at least a dozen infected moving for you. You shot, catching the first in the head and you watched it drop. 
“Go!” Joel yelled, planting his feet and taking aim. 
“Fuck you!�� You snapped, ignoring him and shooting. “I can handle myself.” 
He growled at that but didn’t say anything else. Instead you stood with him, side by side, trying to pick off the group that was charging for you. For a moment, you thought you’d done it, that you were in the clear. 
And then, Joel’s gun jammed. 
You realized it when you didn’t hear any more gunfire coming from beside you as the remaining infected drew closer. 
“Joel!” Your eyes darted his way and you saw him trying to force the lever back, to no avail. He looked to you and the infected and back to you, his jaw squared. 
“Get back to the QZ,” he said, not giving you a chance to respond. Instead, he charged forward, gun held not like a firearm but a staff and he swung it, hard, so the butt of it slammed into the skull of an infected as three others dove for him. 
“Fuck!” You yelled, ignoring him again. Like hell he was going down out here like this, like fuck you were letting this asshole die for you. You took careful aim, taking down infected that you were confident you could headshot without putting Joel at risk, just one bullet going wide and exploding on the bark of a nearby tree, the rest finding their mark. And then he was on the ground, just one infected left, too close to him for you to be able to shoot and it wasn’t that you chose to do it, not really. It was more like instinct, flying forward, shedding your backpack and dropping your gun as you did, wrenching your knife from its place at your hip and jumping onto the back of the creature, your arms going around its neck as you yanked back on it, hard. 
Your weight threw it off balance and it shrieked, starting to claw at you, twisting in your hold to see if it could sink its teeth into your skin. It bit as best it could at your arms but the thick of your coat kept it from getting any further and you struggled to adjust your knife to drive it into the thing’s neck but you couldn’t get it, not without letting it go.
“Goddammit!” Joel was panting for breath and you could barely see him out of the corner of your eye as he scrambled to his feet. You tightened your grip on the infected, the stink of the rot of it from the inside out making you gag, and it slammed you back into a tree, catching you off guard. You barely registered the sound of your skull hitting the wood before you passed out. 
***
You didn’t listen. You never fucking listened, why could you never fucking listen? 
You were the single most infuriating person Joel had ever met. Stubborn as hell, independent to a fault, seemingly desperate to pick every fight you could find. Of course you didn’t fucking listen to him. You never had before, why would you start now? 
Seeing you that close to infected - again - was terrifying. 
This was why he didn’t want to go out like this with you. This, right here. Because he knew you wouldn’t listen, he knew you’d wind up in this situation, knew he’d have to deal with the fear and the pain of you dying when it was his fucking fault why couldn’t you just fucking listen?
He’d thrown himself at the infected to give you a chance. One of you was probably going to die out here and he wasn’t about to let it be you. Not when he’d already done so much, gone so far to try to make sure you fucking survived. Because dammit, if he couldn’t make sure one of the few people he actually cared about actually lived, what was the damn point? 
But did you take the chance he was giving you? No. Of course you didn’t. 
And all he could do was watch in horror as the thing you’d jumped on top of slammed you into a tree with a sickening thud, one he could hear above the snarling and snapping of jaws. Your body went limp and you slid from its back to the earth, landing in an unnatural looking way. No one who was in control of their limbs fell like that. His blood was ice and he moved without considering, roaring as he ripped his knife from his belt and tackled the infected who was turning to go after your throat. He hit it so hard he rolled with it, the creature’s mouth reaching for him as he held it back. They came to rest on the ground, that thing on top of him and Joel slammed his knife into its neck again and again, until it went quiet and still and Joel was bloodied and panting for breath. 
He shoved it off him and he half crawled to you as he got to his feet, not willing to wait until he was standing to start moving. You were still when he reached you, your head thrown back, half on your side, mouth open. 
“No, no, c’mon,” he pulled your coat open to get at your chest to try to do what he thought was CPR - not like there were fucking certifications for it in the QZ - but, when he did, he realized you were breathing. He lowered his head near your mouth and could hear the soft, shallow sound of your life and he sat back on his heels, taking a deep breath. 
So he hadn’t gotten you killed. Not yet, anyway. At least there was that. He let himself sit with the relief for a moment before checking you over, looking at your throat and wrists for signs of a bite but didn’t find any. Another lucky moment. 
“Alright princess,” he said, tapping your cheek lightly. “C’mon. We gotta get movin’, let’s go.” You stayed still. His stomach twisted. “Know you like to fuck with me but now ain’t the time, we need to get out of here, time to wake up…” 
He half expected you to respond then. You’d love this, the fact that he was damn near panicking because you were hurt. He knew you’d want to draw it out. 
But you wouldn’t be stupid about it. You wouldn’t put them at risk, not really. 
“Fuck,” he swore, adjusting your limp body as best he could before lifting you to his chest. The hair at the back of your head was matted with blood. He tried not to think about what that might mean. “S’alright. You’re gonna be fine, just… You’ll be OK.” 
He kept thinking that, over and over, as he carried you, looking for somewhere he could protect you for a while. 
It took him time to find it, a farmhouse with overgrown fields that looked like it hadn’t been touched in years. The door was hanging open, creaking on its hinges, and Joel brought you to the kitchen island, setting you gently on the dust-covered formica. 
“Stay there for a minute,” he said, leaning against the counter to recover his strength and his breath for a moment. “Gotta… gotta make sure we don’t got company.” 
He went through the house room by room, barricading the doors on the ground floor and pleasantly surprised to find most of the top floor intact, no holes in the roof or broken windows. He gathered some blankets from the main bedroom and carried them down to where he’d left you. He propped your head up gently, pouring some water on a cloth and cleaning the cut there with care before covering you with a quilt and pulling a kitchen chair up beside you. He checked to make sure you were still breathing before sitting down, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, hands folded almost in prayer. 
He should have told Tess to fuck off. He knew better, when it came to you. There was a reason he’d avoided you ever since that day everything had gone wrong. Hell, he’d been avoiding you before that, too. 
From the moment he’d met you, he liked you a little too much. You were the exact kind of woman he’d gone for before, one who was capable and strong and a total fucking smart ass. He liked a woman who challenged him, one who made him think. You did those things, you did those things like it was second fucking nature, all while being one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, before the outbreak or after. 
He knew he had to keep his distance from the beginning, that he’d get too attached if he let himself. But you were a valuable partner, so he did his best to keep you at arm’s reach while going on runs with you and his brother. He thought that had been enough, that he’d done a good job of protecting himself from the disaster that waited at the end of any form of attachment in the life he led now. 
And then he saw you freeze in the face of infected. 
He was so afraid in that moment that it shocked him how fast he made the call. The decision to put his body between you and the infected was an easy one. He wanted to make it back to the QZ, to his brother he’d found some reason to live for over the last few years, but he wouldn’t want that if you didn’t come back, too. But you didn’t fucking listen then, either, too busy trying to do the same damn thing he’d have done in your position. If you hadn’t been with him, he’d have tried to save Harvey. He was a good man, he’d watched Joel’s back plenty, Tommy’s too. He deserved a better end than the one he got. 
Joel just couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk you. 
He let himself rage at you about it. Even though it wasn’t your fault, none of it had been. He’d known it then but even more so after. Years later, outside the QZ, he watched as a large hoard worked its way south for the winter, just passing through. You couldn’t have seen them coming, no one could have. 
He never told you that. Because, after the day you froze, he was far enough away from you that he wasn’t going to have to watch you die and he wasn’t going to have to carry the blame if you did. He couldn’t do that again. He knew that much of himself, he knew what he wasn’t capable of surviving. If you were out of reach, he’d have room to breathe. 
But you were still leaving the QZ. He hadn’t known that, at first. He’d just assumed you’d stay put and take the shitty jobs FEDRA offered to get by. He hadn’t even known that Tess knew you, not for years. It wasn’t even her that told him you were still smuggling, it had been a FEDRA guard. He’d overheard your name when Tess was handling a trade and put two and two together. He damn near marched over to your apartment that second and demanded to know what the fuck you were thinking. But he didn’t. He kept it together, he kept listening for news of you, kept waiting for the day that he knew was waiting for him, the one where you didn’t come back and he’d find out about it from some other smuggler or some asshole guard who found out when you didn’t show up with his supply of pills.
And then your name came up when he was trading with a FEDRA guard. It was a small deal, some pills for cigarettes and liquor, just enough for one guy. He was a new client of Joel’s, one he was happy to have. His demand was low and he was good leverage for bringing shit through the gates, turning a blind eye for a good deal on drugs. He just hadn’t seemed to learn quite yet that Joel wasn’t a friend. 
“You know other smugglers, right?” He asked, glancing at Joel as he counted the pills out in his palm. As though Joel was stupid enough to short change a fucking FEDRA officer. 
“Suppose,” Joel shrugged. “Why?” 
“There’s this one…” he talked about a woman who was coming and going, one who was cocky and beautiful and hadn’t caved to his demands for sex the last time she came through and he tried to blackmail her. Joel ground his teeth but kept quiet as he prattled on, eventually pocketing the pills and handing over the cigarettes and booze. “Anyway, wondering if you think she’s the type who’ll give in or should I stop wasting my time and just take it?” 
Joel’s hands curled into fists. 
“Take it?” Joel asked. “Take what, exactly.” 
He looked at Joel, incredulous. 
“C’mon,” he said. “You know. They never fight too hard against a uniform but it’s more fun when they’re at least a little willing.” 
Joel’s punch came so quickly the man didn’t have time to put his hands up. He took him to the ground fast, blow after blow raining down on the man’s face until the air smelled like copper and his knuckles were split. The man gargled on his own blood below him, desperate gasps that sounded something like “please” but he couldn’t be sure. Joel grabbed him by the collar, his head lolling limply to the side as he tried to breathe. One of his teeth was hanging on my a thread.
“Keep your fuckin’ hands to yourself,” Joel panted. “Tell your fuckin’ friends. I hear about any of you messing with women around here? I’ll kill you.” 
Joel dropped him back to the ground and flexed his fingers. He thought he might have broken part of his hand. Wouldn’t be the first time. At least this one was worth it. 
“Pleasure doin’ business with you,” he said, fishing around in the man’s pocket and taking a pill from him. He popped it in his mouth, chalky and bitter on his tongue. “For my trouble.” 
He left the man there in the alley, knowing full well that he’d just shot his whole team in the foot. He didn’t much care. 
The irony that it had landed him here, outside the QZ with you unconscious and your haul on the forest floor was almost too biting. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he’d been doing this wrong all along. 
You groaned and Joel’s head shot up as you started stirring on the counter, your hand going to the injured part of your skull. 
“Easy,” he said gently, getting up slowly so he wouldn’t startle you. “Took a nasty hit to the head, you were out for a while.” 
“Ow.” 
Joel laughed a little at that. 
“Glad you think it’s funny,” you said, sitting up. He rushed to help you and you gave him an incredulous look as his hands found your back and your hand. “Jesus, I feel like I got put through a meat grinder…” 
“Well, s’long as you ain’t bitten, think we can handle that,” he said, taking his hands back now that you were sitting up. 
“Amen to that,” you said, stretching a bit before looking him over and then looking around, a small frown on your face. “Where are we?” 
“Farmhouse,” Joel said, shoving his hands in his pockets just to give them something to do. “Think about a mile from where we were. Can find our way back OK. I’ll have to, your pack is still out there.” 
“Shit,” you said. “Yeah, we can’t afford to come back without it, I traded my entire stash for my share of the pot…” 
“We’ll find it,” he said. “Don’t think anyone else is comin’ through here any time too soon.” 
You nodded slowly before looking back to him, your eyebrows knitting together before you flinched, your hand going to the back of your head again. 
“Will you actually listen for a change and take it easy?” He asked, going to check the wound. “Jesus, bane of my fuckin’ existence, not doing a goddamn thing I tell you…” 
“Why are you still here?” You asked, ignoring him yet again, fingers finding the gash on your head and tugging at it until it started bleeding again. Joel sighed before pulling your hand away. “Hell, why’d you bring me here at all? You just said I’m the bane of your existence, why the fuck did you go through this much trouble? You could have just left me there, taken my pack, kept all the haul for yourself…” 
“You really think I’m capable of that?” He asked, brows raised. He knew he hadn’t exactly been kind to you over the years but fuck, he didn’t think it was that bad. He pressed the wet cloth to your head again, watching as the red filtered over it. 
You shrugged. 
“Jesus,” he muttered. “Yeah, alright, you piss me off more than… shit, about anyone else I’ve ever met. You’re the bane of my existence…” 
“So…” 
“Will you let me talk?” He snapped. “Fuck, woman, always gotta be right, always gotta have the last damn word, always gotta do whatever’s gonna get you into the most trouble…” 
“Oh, I’m so sorry that I managed to save your fucking life today,” you snapped back. “Please forgive me!” 
“I don’t want you saving my life if it costs you yours!” He yelled. 
You pulled back from him sharply, eyes wide as you blinked at him in shock. He shook his head and pulled the cloth away from your skin. At least the bleeding had stopped again. 
“Don’t fuck with it anymore,” he said, dropping the bloody fabric to the counter. “Gotta leave it alone so it can start to heal, head wounds bleed like a motherfucker…” 
“Joel,” you said quietly, watching him. 
“What.” 
“Joel,” you said again, eyes still on him. “You… What did you mean you don’t want me saving your life if it costs…” 
“I don’t…” He cut you off before he took a deep, centering breath. “I don’t want anybody dying for me but… Christ, it can’t be you. Yeah, you’re the bane of my existence, you piss me off so much sometimes I swear it’s like you got a goddamn degree in just how to do it but you make me feel more alive than anything else left and I can’t…” His heart was pounding so hard it felt like a bruise. “I can’t lose you, especially not when I could stop it. Not when I could save you. I need you to stay alive, OK? I don’t want anyone else to piss me off the way you do, I want you to be the one getting under my skin every goddamn day…” 
“Joel…” 
“Still not gonna let me finish?” He gaped at you. “Fuck, I’m tryin’ to…” 
You didn’t let him finish that time, either. Instead, you kissed him, your arms going around his neck and pulling him roughly against you, your lips so soft and warm and demanding on his that it felt like you were trying to swallow him whole. 
It was like the logical part of his mind only worked for half a second after that. He knew, in that moment, that he should probably hold you back. Talk things out, make sure you didn’t hurt yourself - you’d just had a head injury for fuck’s sake - but that part of him vanished, consumed by you and the way you kissed him like you were trying to climb inside his skin. 
His arms went around you, pulling you to the very edge of the island so your pussy was pressed tight against his quickly hardening cock. 
He couldn’t help but grind himself against you, the zipper of his jeans harsh contrast to just how soft he knew your pussy would be and the last bit of resolve he should have held snapped. Your fingers fumbled at the snaps on his coat, pulling it open before going to the buttons on his shirt and he did the same, desperate to get at your skin and suddenly not caring that it was nearly freezing or that the two of you had nearly died not all that long ago.
His hands found your breasts, sliding inside the cups of your bra to cradle the soft warmth of them and you moaned into his mouth when his thumbs found your nipples, gently brushing them before working them in little circles as they pricked against his skin. 
Joel had tried to not think about this with you. It was tempting, always tempting, but he knew better. He tried to limit his thoughts of you to frustration and anger but he often failed at that. He had failed at it often enough that he had an idea of how you would feel in his hands, how you would taste on his tongue. He thought he would have known enough to be prepared for it if it ever happened. 
He wasn’t. 
You were, somehow, so much better than he’d ever let himself imagine. You were so goddamn soft, like the whole of you had been spun out of silk, tenuous and tender. There was something almost inherently wrong in how he was touching something as soft as you but he shoved that nagging guilt aside, too obsessed with feeling more of you. If this was how your tits felt in his hands, how your lips felt on his, how your hands felt in his hair, he had to feel inside you. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to think about anything else if he didn’t get to be inside of you, his mind would always be trying to create the way you would feel, to know how warm you would be, how safe he would feel in you and how calming it would be to know that you were safe, too, because nothing could reach you if he was there inside you, nothing. 
His hands reluctantly left your breasts and slid down to your waist, finding the button on your jeans. You quickly, clumsily kicked off your boots and lifted your ass from the countertop so he could slide your jeans and panties down, leaving you all wet and swollen and bared for him. 
“Fuck,” he panted, looking down at you for a moment before reaching one callused finger forward and almost reverently tracing your dripping slit. You groaned, your head going back in pleasure, your hips almost jumping toward him. 
“Joel,” you whispered, voice so goddamn needy. The sound went straight to his cock, skin stretched tight and balls aching. “Please…” 
“I’ve got you baby,” he said, opening his pants and tucking his jeans and underwear below his throbbing sex. “Make you feel so good, just…” 
He took his cock and brushed the head against you and you looked down to where he was about to push inside you and gasped. 
“Holy fuck,” you panted, looking at him, your eyes wide. “Joel, you’re… Are you going to fit?” 
“I’ll fit, baby,” he said, looking down again and notching the head of him inside your wet heat. You groaned as you stretched around him, fingers digging into the skin at his nape. He pushed the first inch of himself inside and stopped, looking back to you. He took your face his hand and your eyes searched his, desperate longing written there. “Just watch me, I’ve got you.” 
You didn’t say anything, you, just nodded quickly. His other hand went to the small of your back, angling you just so as he started to thrust into you, pushing in a little and then pulling back before going again, claiming more and more of you with each stroke until he was fully within you. He stilled inside you and pressed his forehead to yours, your eyes on his own, close enough that he could feel the warmth of your breath on his skin. 
He’d been right. Inside, you were fucking perfection. He could feel how you stretched over him, how your body perfectly took and held his own. You were so soft there it seemed impossible, like the world should have destroyed anything this delicate and supple. But you felt so like you, too. The heat of you was almost overwhelming, the strength of you sharp and clear when your cunt fluttered over him, already nearing your orgasm with telltale little spasms holding him tight.  He wanted to consume you and be consumed, devour and be devoured and he needed to fuck you deep and hard and leave part of himself inside of you or he might never think of anything else ever again. 
“Fuck, Joel,” your breaths were sharp and shaky. “I’m so… you’re so big, I’m so full, I… You have to move, I need you to fuck me, please fuck me, please, I need…” 
“I’ve got you, baby,” he said, gently angling your head just so. “Give you just what you need.” 
He kissed you as he started fucking into you, setting an almost punishing pace as he moved inside you. He drank down your desperate groans, savored the way your fingers scrabbled over his shoulders and neck and back, got lost in the spread of your thighs as you kept trying to take him somehow deeper. As if there was more of you for him to take, as if there was more of himself to give. 
Your channel grew tight over him and he knew he wasn’t going to last once you came but he was afraid he wasn’t going to even make it that far. He’d already given up on pulling out, he’d deal with the whatever fallout came from filling you up, but he had to feel you come when he was inside you. He was desperate for it, needed to feel how you’d draw so tight over him and pull his come from his body into yours, he needed it. He drove deep and found the spot inside you that made your legs clench a little tighter, fingers clutch a little harder. He pressed into it and held himself there, more rocking into you than fucking into you, grinding the head of him into the very softest part of you as your cunt drew tighter and tighter over him and you pulled away from his lips to cry out as you came. You throbbed around him and he could feel every part of you there, the pulsing of your body and the satisfaction of your cries damn near ripping his own orgasm from him. 
He pulled you close and tight as he came, feeling like his whole being was pulled down low and sharp inside him as he spilled deep into you. Your arms loosened on him but you still held him gently as he all but collapsed into you, his head on your shoulder as he panted for breath. 
“Fuck,” he managed after a moment, still deep inside you. 
“Yeah,” you laughed a little. 
He sat back from you, eyes searching yours again now that you’d both started coming back down to Earth. You reached up and ran your fingers through his curls, brushing them back from his face as he started to notice the cold air again for the first time. 
“Bane of your existence, huh?” You asked, teasing lightly. 
“Yeah,” he said, smiling a little. “My whole damn existence.” 
You smiled a little back. 
“Think I can work with that.” 
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sweetfushi · 3 days
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-> SYNOPSIS. asking him if he still loves you. -> TAGS. yuta okkotsu x reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, yuta is so in love with you, suggestive?
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“Yuta,” you practically whine, watching him tense at the sound of his name falling from your lips. "Do you still love me?"
His brow furrows. “Oh baby, what’s making you ask such a question?” Yuta turns his attention away from fixing his hair to making his way over to your curled up form on the bed. “Of course I love you. I love you more than I thought was capable of myself.”
You shiver in delight when he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear and presses a chaste kiss to your neck. “Hm?” he encourages, his arm encircling your waist for his large palm to rest on your stomach.
“I dunno,” you shrug. “I just feel weird.”
“Weird how?” He inquires, tightening his grip on you as he lifts you into his arms, burying his face in the crook of your neck as your legs wrap around his hips.
“Just wanna hear you say it,” you mumble, feeling his hands rub up and down your back. He rocks you in his arms for a moment as you tell him summaries of how you feel, him nodding along or whispering a small go on to indicate that he's still listening. During this, Yuta sits on the edge of the bed and has you straddle him, letting his right hand gently guide you to face him.
He kisses your right eyelid first. "Let me know what I can do for you," then kisses your left. You flush from the attention you know you'll never get accustomed to, especially not when he treats you with such tenderness and consideration. Sometimes you feel as though you don't deserve it.
"Now what's that look?" He laughs softly, catching your awkward expression.
"Can I, um, have another hug?"
Yuta grins and kisses your lips before embracing you tightly. "Of course, baby." The cool notes of his skin feel oddly but familiarly comforting when in touch with your body heat. He's always joked that it's ironically reflective of you in that you initially had trouble opening up to him, whereas he was very warm and patient with you. You still feel guilty at how uncertain about him you used to be.
After two minutes of heart-warming silence, you sigh. Yuta doesn't release you however, but pulls you down on top of him as he lays back on the bed. You laugh breathily at his sudden clinginess, but don’t complain. If anything, you need him to reciprocate your neediness to assure you that you’re not a bother - despite the fact that he has reminded you many times that you are not and never will be.
"You wanna get takeout? Watch a movie?" He suggests, feeling you relax at the idea and simultaneously appear ecstatic at the idea from the way you sit up and nod your head rapidly.
Yuta loves you in whatever form you present yourself to him, but your happiness was particularly endearing. As you listed your food and movie recommendations, his thumbs rubbed gentle, soothing circles into your hips, eventually leading his hands to wander lower and grip your love handles. You can tell he's not fully focused on your rambling from the way his eyes sparkle and his lips seem permanently twitched into a smile.
You swallow thickly at his expression of utter adoration for you, holding eye contract with him until you don't. Somehow, you find the strength to conceal your squeals of embarrassment as you climb off of him and reach over to the bedside table to grab his phone.
"Huuuh, why'd you get off? I can order for us." It's now his turn to whine and cling to you, until he sees your avoidance of eye contact and a poorly-hidden smile.
When you start to feel his burning gaze again, you slap his shoulder and shove a pillow on his face, smothering him and his laughter in it.
"I need this food to arrive before you eat me first."
sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post in any way. all that is included in this post, aside from the fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).
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akxmee · 15 hours
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𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌//𝘑𝘑𝘒 𝘉𝘖𝘠𝘚
Your relationship was perfect, so why?
Satoru gojo, Toji Fushiguro, Nanami Kento.
𝘚𝘈𝘛𝘖𝘙𝘜 𝘎𝘖𝘑𝘖
: 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘.
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If someone asked Satoru who his first priority was, you would be his answer.
Because that's what sounds right, isn't it? But no, deep inside you were anything but that. Satoru never considered you his top priority even though you were his girlfriend, the world was above you. Don't get him wrong; it's not like he didn't love you, it was just that his responsability as the strongest came first.
And you knew it.
You knew he would never choose you over his work, as much as he claimed that he was bored of it or how many times he slacked out of it. It was something he was chained to and he wasn't even aware of it, but you were.
So naturally, this was the main factor you two didn't really work. That's the reason you were driving your car right now, clutching on the steering wheel while being on your phone with Satoru.
—So you're literally telling me to go back right now?
—Yeah, sorry babe. I'll make it u-
—Don't you dare say you'll make it up to me, Satoru. It's our fucking anniversary, and you're going to miss it again?
Silence filled the air, you didn't hear a reply coming from your phone. You knew you hit a nerve there, because he did miss your anniversary last year too for the same fucking reason: some stupid, dammed mission that wasn't even that important. You heard a sigh, and he talked again in a softer voice.
—Y/N, you know this is my duty as the strongest..
—This is also your duty as a boyfriend, or did you forget?
—Please babe, you know the world needs me right now the most.
—I need you too, Toru.
It came out of you in a tone needier than I should be, you were desperate at this point. You had planned everything so nice for your three years anniversary; your cute elegant outfit that matched the blue of his eyes in such a sotisficate way, the place where you two would have dinner since you wanted to make it perfect..hell, you even planned to be the one picking him up since it was all a surprise! All he had to do is put a damn suit and spend the day with you, and he wasn't able to do that because of some guard thing. He has his right to be busy, yeah, but isn't he always? You would even understand if it was something urgent like a major threat curse, but it was some casual guard around Shibuya.
—I know you do, honey. I understand, but..
—But the world is more important, isn't it?
He kept silence, and then you knew again.
It has always been, so where's the surprise? You should've known better.
—I'm so, so sorry. I'll try to make time for next week, maybe?
—We make three years tonight, not next week.
—I know, i'm sorry.
—You're always sorry, Satoru! But you never show it. You were sorry last year too, and you're just going to do It again!
At this point your whole makeup was ruined by tears, but you still kept your cool as far as you could. You even managed to park your car at some parking lot you found on your way since driving while being distracted was pretty dangerous, and your blurry vision could mess you up while being on the road.
He sighed once again.
—Y/N, let's just talk it out. I'm sure we can agree on som-
—No, Satoru. I won't humiliate myself once again trying to make it work out all by myself. This is it; me or that mission of yours. You choose me, i let it pass and pick you up from whenever you go to get to our anniversary date.
You take a deep breath before continuing.
—You choose the mission, you don't call me again expecting another date. You don't even dare to call me again because i will block you, we're just done.
An uncomfortable silence appears, you can feel the tension even if it's just by the phone.
On the other line, Satoru bites his lip thinking what he should even do. He thinks and thinks, considering wether he should choose. The world was his responsability, but so was his relationship with you too. He knew how much you suffered everytime he left for a long period of time, and he didn't wish for you to suffer because of him and his work again. However his duty was also important, being the strongest and all. This job had him tied up and he couldn't leave it for you even if he desired so.
But as hard as this decision was, he had to make it.
So he finally chose.
—Okay, princess. I'm at shibuya's station, come and pick me up please?
He smiled sweetly at his phone.
Yeah, he did the right thing. You were worth the sacrifice and he knew you would be happy to hear it.
So, why weren't you replying?
Fuck.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP..
He tried to call you again, and again, and again.
You had blocked him by then.
𝘛𝘖𝘑𝘐 𝘍𝘜𝘚𝘏𝘐𝘎𝘜𝘙𝘖:
𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐄.
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It all started by small mistakes, like this morning when you approached him while he was cooking. You hugged him from behind as he cooked breakfast for you and your little Megumi, who you loved as if he was your biological son.
—Hey hon. What are you making?
He looked at you over his shoulder, leaning in a bit and kissing your temple as a greeting before replying.
—Your favorite, scrambled eggs.
You paused for a second, wondering if you heard right.
—Sorry, what?
He looked at you weird as if he didn't understand where your confusion came from before repeating.
—Scrambled eggs.
—That's not mom's favorite, dad! I know it, she prefers them fried.
You hear Megumi from the kitchen table, and he inmediately smiles at you when he feels you look at him as he was proud of his answer. You nod your head at the kid.
—That's right sweetie. Mom's glad you remembered, unlike someone I know...
You joked, emphasizing the "someone" in your sentence. Megumi laughed and so did you.
However, he didn't laugh.
Instead, he simply put the scrambled eggs in his plate and put a new egg on the frying pan.
—Well, then fried eggs it is.
You thought nothing of it back then, until later on you found out a photo of toji and his ex wife having breakfast on a restaurant while you were looking for a shirt to borrow in his drawer. You looked at it closely, so close that you even looked at what they were having out of pure curiosity. Want to know what was in her plate? Scrambled eggs.
Now, the confusion had more sense.
It wasn't a mistake, he just did it again.
Once again, he reflected his wife in you.
This has happened more than once, him pretending you were his late wife just because he missed her. At first you didn't mind, he was getting used to the married life and having another wife after losing his last one was hard enough for you to understand it and let it pass.
However, as time passed by it became more frequent.
From him simply calling you nicknames like "Love" instead of "doll" or mistaking your clothes size with hers to things like confusing your hobbies, favorite movies and memories with hers. He recalled moments you didn't even spend with him that you later on figured that were with his ex wife, and Megumi was the one that usually had to correct him when he did so.
It was tiring, and it was driving you insane.
It made you insecure knowing that every time he saw you, his mind reflected the image of his deceased wife in his eyes. How many times have you thought about her while he held your hand, while he kissed you or while he held you? To him, were you Y/N or were you someone who really resembled her? He liked you because you were you, or because she was like you too? You didn't know, and you didn't want to.
So after thinking about it for what felt like an eternity and watching it happen again and again, you decided to leave. It wasn't healthy for you anymore, this lifestyle was only hurting you all over.
This had to end.
—You're going to leave dad, aren't you?
No way.
You looked behind you, finding Megumi at your door at the verge of tears. He started sobbing silently when he didn't hear a reply from you, rushing to hug your leg.
—Mom, please, d-don't go. I'll talk to daddy, I promise! We will make fried eggs tomorrow too. He will remember this time..
It sincerely broke your heart how tightly he clung to your leg. His hands were trembling and you felt the need to comfort him, so you grabbed him by his shoulders and crouched down.
Then, you spoke softly.
—It's okay, Megs. Mommy is not leaving, I'm just packing my things because i have to go on a business trip in a few days. You understand, right?
He looked at you as he sobbed, and you wiped his tears with your sleeve.
—So you won't leave me and dad?
—Yes, I won't. Mommy has a little something to do, but we can have fried eggs tomorrow.
He looked calmer, but he still looked at you worried. You could tell he was still scared.
—Mom..
He pulled on your tear stained sleeve.
—Yes, sweetie?
—Could you...—He looked down, shy to ask.— ..read me a book tonight?
You looked at him in awe, it has been so long since you read him a book since he claimed that he was a big boy now and didn't need it anymore. Yet, he was asking for you to do it again.
You looked at your bags and sighed.
—Yeah, why not.
And you did, you accompanied him to his room and tucked him in before grabbing a random book from the shelf to read. He struggled to stay awake throughout the story and managed to do so despite how sleepy he was, You could tell how he was still a little unsure that you weren't going to leave. So before you put the book back and kissed the boy goodnight, he asked if you could sleep with him that night. You hesitated but said yes, and he made space for you to fit in his bed while you two hugged eachother to sleep. He was calmer and happy now that you were laying with him since that meant you wouldn't leave, at least not for tonight if he stayed awake. That was his plan: staying awake the whole night to check if you were planning to leave or not. You wouldn't like it if he catched you, but he figured it was for the best. He smiled and snuggled with you, he won't let you go.
But his plan failed, he fell asleep.
And when he woke up, you where nowhere to be found.
𝘕𝘈𝘕𝘈𝘔𝘐 𝘒𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘖:
𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐌.
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Nanami loved you to the core, he was so sure of it.
You were the one he wanted to marry, you were the one he wanted to have kids with and he wanted to be the one you call "husband". As simple as that, he just wanted to have a future with you in it. He wouldn't have dated you if he wasn't sure of it, he was a determined man after all.
It took you so long to make him fall in love with you, but you managed to do so. You dug into his heart and reached places in him that he didn't even know he had in such a small place. You took over his heart and became the main focus of his mind, occupying all his thoughts throughout the day until he managed to see you when he came back home. You did little things for him every day that made him fall more in love with you every day, and he loved that.
Until you stopped.
It wasn't immediate, but little by little you began to distance yourself from him and stop trying to make him fall in love with you even more as you always used to do. The funny compliments without any context stopped being present in every conversation, your handmade gifts for when you got home such as cards or matching bracelets stopped appearing and time together It began to decrease more and more.
And he noticed that.
And he missed it, missed them so much. He did because he loved you so much, and he felt like he was losing you. He thought that maybe you were going through a bad time, that maybe you were angry with him, but every time he asked you you always answered him in such a sweet and kind tone that he knew immediately it wasn't something he did. Because he knew you, and he knew that the reason was something deeper than that.
He loved you so much that even when he looked at you right now, crying in front on him, he could only think about one thing: you're beautiful.
—How did you know, Kento?
He smiled at you, holding your hand and wiping your tears away. Nanami simply shrugged.
—I just felt that tension between the two of us. We weren't in love, not anymore.
—Yeah, i felt it too. I was just...worried of hurting you, because I had this feeling that you still loved me.
His expression remained as it was before despite what he was feeling right now. If only you knew how wrong you were to think that it wasn't true, that he didn't love you. He did love you, he loves you so much he wants to keep you all by himself and force you to love him again. He loves you so much he wants to cry hearing you confess to him that you fell out of love even if he already knew it.
He loves you so much he's letting you go.
—..but I'm glad you're the one who proposed the breakup. Otherwise, we would be still stuck in a no feelings relationship.
He finished wiping your tears and slowly moved his hand away, as if he was holding back the urge to touch you again.
—If you're glad then, why do you cry?
He asks you, genuinely curious. He was the one that wanted to bawl his eyes out, seeing the love of his life reach for the door to leave him and never come back again. However, you looked back again and shrugged at him like he did to you just a moment ago.
—I'm just sad that this is how we end. After 4 years of dating I... I just felt that you were the one I was going to marry one day.—You looked back at the door, opening it.—So I guess it's just younger Y/N lamenting the end of this relationship.
—Yeah, I understand what you mean.
You gave him a sad smile.
—I.. don't regret dating you at all, Kento. Just hope you know that.
He nodded, you took that as your sign to go.
—Goodbye, Nanami.
—Goodbye, Y/N.—He took a deep breath, whispering something.—..I love you.
But you already closed the door.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: nanami's was so short, but i swear i couldn't make this man suffer anymore he's just too good 😩 anyways, hope you enjoyed this angst! 💕
KAM'S MASTERLIST.
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