#“cause I'm an idiot and I'm ya boyfriend yes I am”

[prismuffin]

so for my bday ficcc i have two ideas

idea number one: male reader is based on my demon oc. basically personality wise they very sassy and flirty. kinda a bitch ass ho. idc who u pair it with imma be real. it could be ghost, soap or or price. or like batman. he summons them n junk

idea number 2:

polycule ghost, soap x male reader. male reader is a smart dumbass. like they’re an airhead all of the time minus work. they’re a colonel but honestly dumb as shit outside of work. obvious as hell.

if u want more ideas i can tell u love u mwahhhhh

A/n: Hey Webbie!! Happy birthday!! (Or late birthday depending on when I get this out) decided to go with option 2 kay? also i didnt know how to end this- fight me-

Idiot Boyfriend

Poly!GhostSoap x airhead!male!reader

( summary: Ghost reflects on how he fell in love with two dumbasses )

Warnings?: swearing, mentions of alcohol, talks of guns and violence, reader being a dumbass

!-!more under the cut!-!

Ghost sighed as he watched you chase Gaz around base. He'd apparently tickled you which you saw as a threat, immediately taking off to get your revenge. Hearing a laugh beside him Ghost turned, seeing an amused Soap who was also watching your silly antics. "Go get 'em sweetheart!" He cheered you on and Ghost groaned. "Don't encourage 'em Johnny," "Why not? This is a funny sight," He smirked, sitting next to Ghost, his head instinctually falling onto the taller mans shoulder. Ghost rolled his eyes as he watched you trip, Gaz stopping to laugh at you. "Oh damn, think he's alright Lt?" Soap asked only to get silence as a response. "Lt?" Ghost had heard him, though he was too busy wondering why he was even with such an airhead anyway. He'd already been dating one headache why did he feel the need to worsen his pain with another.

When he'd first met you he was already with Soap, their relationship being monogamous at the time. Though that was more of a suggestion than set in stone. Maybe it was the fact that the first time he'd met you- you were choking some guy out with the power of your thighs alone that'd intrigued him. Either way you'd easily clicked with Soap after meeting him, and after exchanging war stories and silly jokes with the two men all day they both knew at the end of it that they liked you. Initially, it wasn't going to go anywhere but Soap was the one who suggested adding you to their little relationship. Ghost was hesitant at first, not because he didn't like you but because he wasn't sure if you liked him. You'd obviously liked Soap, romantically or not you both clicked immediately, but for some reason for Ghost it was so hard to read you on your feelings for him. Sure you were polite out of respect but could it ever go deeper than that? He knows sometimes his dark humor can fall flat and his stoic tone doesn't help either. Soap had reassured him that he had a charm that couldn't be beat, but of course he'd say that. You and him clicked so easily, you both told terrible jokes and fucked around when you shouldn't. You both had a mutual love for explosives and beer and karaoke and had this natural bond he could only wish for with you. After talking about it they sort of dropped it for a few weeks but it was clear that Soap had liked you and he could understand why. Especially after what he considers the true turning point for him. It was a pretty normal night on base, everyone asleep in their barracks, everyone except Ghost. He often had nights like these where sleep was the last thing on his mind, memories plaguing his brain as he fought desperately to think of anything else. He would wake up Johnny, tell him about the bad thoughts, but he really needed the sleep after the last mission they'd been on. So he thought to deal with it alone, going into the kitchen to hopefully find a stashed bottle whisky to drown his sorrows for the night. Only upon entering he found you, leaning against the counter, pouring yourself a freshly brewed pot of coffee. You both locked eyes, a mutual understanding flooding you both as you held out the warm pot, asking silently if he'd join you. He, of course, was hesitant but had nothing better to do. So he grabbed a mug from the cabinet and watched as you poured his coffee, black.

You'd both sat in silence for some time before you asked quietly why he was up. He told the truth, nightmares, but didn't go into much detail understandably. You hummed, replying with the same answer when he'd asked you a similar question. Your jokey manner was all but lost in this moment, at least for a second. You'd asked him to talk about his nightmares with you, saying that it'd be better than him just holding everything in all the time. He didn't expect it, but you were so easy to talk to. Just the smallest amount of convincing and he did what you asked. That night you both shared the stories of your nightmares with each other. You comforted him, gave him advice and told him things he definitely needed to hear. Him ranting only got the ball rolling as he found himself sitting on the common room couch with you simply talking about anything and everything, your company in the now silent base was warming. You'd even laughed at his horrid jokes, throwing back a few that he's now added to his growing roster of dark humor. He hadn't felt like this since...well...Johnny. As the sun rose and light cracked through the curtains he couldn't help but feel a little glad that he'd gotten to spend time with you. That night alone showed him he did have a natural connection with you. You understood him in ways he didn't even think you could. He found you also shared his insomnia episodes, his love for dogs and specific guns, his respect of stealth and going at it alone on missions. When he saw Soap later that day he nonchalantly added that he's now considering asking you to join their relationship, and he couldn't help but replicate the smile on Soaps face.

One which he held now.

"Lt?" Soap glanced up at Ghost, noticing the slight crinkle in his eye and the small indent underneath his cloth balaclava. To anyone else he'd look completely normal right now, but Soap knew that those miniscule signs meant that he was smiling. Smiling at you as you groaned on the floor. Closing his eyes, Ghosts shoulders bounced in a silent laugh before he moved to stand, Soap following him with his eyes before realizing where he was going, and moving to go to you too.

Rolling on your back, you huffed, the cold floor on your rear as you stared up at the blinding white flood lights that shone down on you. Only they were blocked by a shadow, then two, the smiling faces of your boyfriends stood over you. "Need a hand sweetheart?" Soaps Scottish accent filled your ears and you couldn't help the small smile that found it's way to your face. Reaching out with both hands you grabbed onto one of each of theirs, laughing as they hoisted you up with ease. You felt Ghost pat your back before his arm wrapped itself around you. Looking at him you noticed the small smile beneath his mask and reciprocated his action, now committing to a full side hug. You just held each other there before Soap joined in, now you held both of your boyfriends in your arms. You rocked back and forth between them, your chase with Gaz momentarily forgotten as you accepted this newer task of being held. Only momentarily though as Gaz came back into view you suddenly remembered what you were doing before this, your glare being set on his form. "Garrick!" You yelled and he ran again, you moved to chase him but the hands of ghost didn't seem to want to let you go. "No you don't, come on, we're leaving." "Awww but Simon come on-" you groaned, "I'm starving." He stated bluntly, practically dragging you away from the scene as Soap laughed at your pouting face, following the two of you to the kitchen. Ghost simply listened as you began ranting about some random show that you and Soap had been watching, allowing you to completely forget about the Gaz thing as you got distracted by your own thoughts again. He watched as you and Soap recounted a particular episode that seemingly got on your nerves as it ended on a cliff hanger, silently smiling once again as he relished in the company of his two idiot boyfriends.

----!----

( HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEB I HOPE YOU LIKE YOU BIRTHDAY FIC SEXY !!! )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are CLOSED !!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

[leohamatoblog]

What They Text You: Applies to any...cause they're all a bunch of dorky teens and i dont care what anyone says.

Leo:

• look at my new plant

• would you like to have tea tomorrow?

• you look so pretty 😍 leo you cant see me and? i bet you do

• am i really an old man???? 😭😭😭

• be honest, do you think raph can beat me in an arm wrestle? if you dont answer in 5 minutes, i will assume it's yes and i will prove you wrong.

• good morning honey. have a wonderful day today! ❤️

• are you still mad at me...? LEO YOU SET MY MICROWAVE ON FIRE. so is that a yes?

• have you eaten yet? you need to eat...and drink something other than (your favorite drink)

• i got benched because i can't stop throwing up. i'm fine! leo...you threw up blood literally 10 minutes ago. it was only a little 🙄

• i'm in desperate need of a kiss right now.

• check out my new katanas

• remember that i love you 🥰🥰❤️

• for the last time, i wont download tik tok. you know how bad i hyperfixate 😠

• stop playing candy crush and pay attention to me

• keep it up and you won't get the knots worked out of your shoulders.

• mikey just called me a boomer...i feel like i should be offended. you are a boomer. I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

• y/n, i love you, but for the love of god, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCKS.

• *drunk* im in a relationship why do i have your name as my love cause my girl/boyfriend/partner will definitely not like that and i dont know who you are but they will kick your ass and i dont even feel sorry cause you arent love leo...you're drunk. NO IM TAKEN

• call me cause i would like to hear about your day and i miss you

• i love you my love ❤️

Raph:

• come watch me bench im bored

• can you please come get mikey before i hit him?

• wear that giant sweatshirt to our date. ya look adorable in it

• why did you ask donnie to help you with your homework?? um...cause it's about neurons and receptors in the brain. i could've helped with google! 😒

• YOU NEED TO COME KILL THIS COCKROACH RIGHT NOW.

• hey babe. how was your day? ❤️

• have i ever told you how beautiful you are? what did you do. nothing...? i just think you're beautiful. raphael. fine..i broke casey's nose. AGAIN!?!

• i'm so tired...wanna come nap with me?

• facetime me so i can show you this cool trick spike can do

• remember how i said i was going to be more level headed? well donnie's new robot almost broke my arm and it's no more. you lasted 1 day more than the last time.

• *you sent a selfie* yeahhhh that's my baby 😍😍

• eat or im fighting you.

• jokes on you ive always been completely unhinged and it's bold of you to think i cant be worse.

• im sick. can you bring me some soup? 😣

• i miss you like a lot and i hate when you're gone

• i love you a whole lot 😘

• im just gonna start carrying you everywhere if you dont stop tripping over NOTHING. im just gonna trip harder. Y/N NO.

• mikey said we're his parents just an fyi. he's always been my son

• i made waffles. you better come eat some

• damn babe you're fine 🤤

Donnie:

• no i wont do your homework for you

• tell shelldon to stop talking back to me before i ground him for eternity

• im in a house of IDIOTS. technically it's a lair. not now y/n.

• you look like a pile of swans in that sweater 🥰

• i can't sleep. wanna play online scrabble?

• sweetie you need to eat more than a bag of gummy worms and a bag of doritos

• you need to come sit with me while i work because i need an extra set of eyes. you just miss me 😏 don't start.

• don't call a plumber! i know how to fix the sink. i got this 😎 donnie the pipe exploded the last time you "had" this.

• *you sent a selfie* you look nice

• im gonna blow up. a person, a thing, a place, all of the above? yes.

• you need to drink straight broth, it'll help soothe your stomach ache

• im dying. you have a cold.

• i love you but please stop trying to assemble ikea furniture on your own.

• good luck on your exams/work project! 😘

• TELL RAPH TO STOP PICKING ME UP TO MOVE ME.

• leo just called me an asparagus. i didn't know how to respond so his phone will self destuct in 5 minutes. DONNIE.

• you're so pretty 🥺

• i made you something and you have to come get it right now. im literally about to have my wisdom teeth out. reschedule it

• listen to the playlist i made you or else im disabling your pirated tv show service

• thanks for listening to me 💜

Mikey:

• babe come snuggle with me

• i made you brownies so come eat them with me while we watch crognard

• i haven't seen you in so long 😭 you saw me this morning. BUT THAT WAS HOURS AGO

• angelcakessssss i love you

• look at this cat video i found

• FACETIME ME THERES A PUPPY

• are you awake? mikey it's 3 am. good, so would you still love me if i was a worm? go to sleep.

• i bet you look like a cuddly bear today 🥰

• im so hungry. can you bring me ice cream?

• raph wont stop being mean to me. can you beat him up? cause a (your height) tall human can beat a 6ft turtle's ass 😑 i believe in you.

• im coming over with my new call of duty game and we're having a game a thon!

• i found a cat. mikey no. his name is gerald. MIKEY WE ALREADY HAVE 10 OF THEM. HALF ARE NAMED GERALD.

• i made you a mixtape i cant wait for you to hear it

• how mad would you be if i crashed the shell razor in a derby and broke my arm? very. then i did not do that.

• im sick. come help me feel better 😭

• call me cause april just told me something about casey that's wild

• i found this cool rock that i think you'll like

• it's so cool i can date you. you're for real the coolest. you broke my coffee table again didn't you? no...maybe.

• im bringing you lunch cause my baby needs to eat!

• this song reminds me of you 💕

[theosb0rnway]

Casey Jones Vs. The Competition - A Ghosts of Our Days Minific

Being in a competition this big was no threat to Casey Jones, but finding out who he and Raph were up against was another story. It took them at least 15 minutes searching through the main board before- "Raph, look! There's us!" She pointed to the board and Raph let out a little "Huh." "Looks like we're up against... the Rise Addams Family?" "Like the TV show with the creepy little girl and the walking hand and the big silent monster guy? I always thought the mom on that show was so hot, the dad too-" "Casey, focus." In the distance, the duo could see four turtles, a bunny, and a human under a banner reading Rise Addams Family AU. As they approached, a girl with noose-like hair was the first to speak. "Are you the competition?" "Doesn't seem much like competition, it's just one guy!" An orange coded turtle towards the back of the group spoke up. "Two guys. One is no longer with us." "Guess we know why they're called Ghosts of Our Days." That came from a purple coded turtle, and Casey wondered if they were all the same as his own four mutant friends."Yeah, we're the competition. Are you guys Mikey, Leo, Donnie, and Raph?" "And Master Splinter?" Raph added.The noose hair girl nodded. "Yes. I am April. April O'Neil. We're very excited to be up against you." Her monotone voice made Casey unsure of her true emotion. "Uh, we're excited too!" "So who are you?" "Oh! I'm Casey, Casey Jones, and this is my boyfriend, Raphael!" Raph gave a soft wave. "There's no one else there." Leo deadpanned. "Didn't you hear me say one passed on? He's a ghost, dumbass." "Ohhh! Couldn't be me! I have a very much alive boyfriend!" Casey growled, but Raph held him back from any fighting. "Ugh, another fag." Mikey muttered in the background. "Shut up, Mikey!" Leo yelled back, burying his face into Usagi's fur. The two boys shared a look at each other, silently telling the other that this Addams group was going to be a bit of a challenge. Raph was having quite the conversation with the only person who could see him. "How did you die?" "Stabbed." "How unfortunate. Was it through the head, the chest, or abdomen?" "Um... chest." "Hm. How long did it take for you to bleed out?" Meanwhile, Casey walked over to see if anyone else in the group was remotely friendly. He decided to try the rabbit first. He was surrounded by his very clingy turtle boyfriend, looking mildly uncomfortably as Leo talked nonstop into his fur. "Hi there!" Casey waved, and Usagi smiled tiredly back. "What's your name?" "Miyamoto Usagi." "Whoda whatta?" He sighed."Usagi." "Nice to meet you, Soggy!" "Usagi." "That's what I said!" The rabbit rolled his eyes. "So, hows the dead boyfriend treating you?" Casey looked about to kill the bitch, a knife sliding into his hand from his sleeve in such a smooth fashion that Usagi flinched. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Jack Skellington." "And why not? Afraid I'll beat you in THAT competition too?" "In case you haven't noticed, you're losing pretty bad in the first one, idiot." Casey looked up in horror to see that yes, they were losing pretty bad to these people, but he had no idea why." "H-How is that happening?" "I don't know, maybe cause you pulled a knife on us?" "You dissed my boyfriend, loser!" "I don't think I'm the loser, Casey Jones." He snarked, walking off with Usagi still wrapped around his waist. "Nice to beat ya, clown!" "Ohoho, I'm gonna shove that knife so far up his-" "Case?" Raph gently tapped his shoulder. "We're already losing, Raphie, and we didn't even do anything yet!" "It's alright, Case. Least we have each other, right?" Casey perked up at that, smiling down at her boyfriend. "Yeah, you're right. If I've got you, who needs to win anything?" "You're already my favorite prize, Casey Jones." "Raphie!" It was just Casey Jones and Hamato Raphael against the world, but honestly? As long as they had each other, they had already won the entire competition.

PLEASE help me and @clanofjones tie G.O.O.D with at @lackablazeical 's Addams AU in the @tmntausummit!!

[gayfanservice]

Little bro I gotta request. Okay so we both know I simp over Iwaizumi👀. I'm also technically still in the "phase" (even though its not🙄) but what if Iwaizumi was dating the small goth guy in school 👀 cause like imagine the cuddles and hugs like yes please

Oh to be a little man with Iwazumi

*********

“C’mon, loser, I have places to be!” The oldest of the (L/N) children yelled through the door, knocking, “So do I, bitch!” (Y/N) yelled back as he continued applying his make up, the dark lightening effect going to his eyebrows. He groaned as the knocking continued, closing the eyeliner with a ‘click’ and opening the bathroom door. (Y/N) shoved past his sibling, ignoring the “Hey!” directed at him as he hopped down the stairs. “Looking scary, little man!” His dad shot him finger guns, an awkward smile on his face as the coffee filled mug dripped. “Uh, thanks. Hajime is picking me up,” (Y/N) opened the cabinet, taking the box of Tokyo Bananas. “Ew, what the fuck?” The eldest child stood at the doorway to the kitchen, “Language!”

(Y/N) stuck his tongue out as they sighed, opening the wrapper and munching down on the sweet inside. “Can’t believe you’re eating garbage for breakfast,” They mumbled as they opened the fridge, “Tastes better than whatever you cooked,” (Y/N) shot back, mouth full of cream. They sneered at each other. (Y/N) looked towards the door as it banged, shoving the rest of the Tokyo Banana in his mouth before running towards the door. “Bye, dad! Bye, bitch!” He yelled as he threw his shoes on, “Language! What is with you kids?” His father sighed as (Y/N) opened the door, “Hey, (Y/N),” He closed the door behind him, “Hey, how’s it going?” (Y/N) took his hand and hopped down the steps, the morning mildew smell in his nose.

The two walked back to Hajime’s house, talking nonsense while their hands swung between them. “I like the lighting look,” Hajime pointed at (Y/N)’s face, “Thanks, last nights storm was nice and I wanted to try something new.” Hajime hummed as his house came to view, taking his keys from his pockets. The two walked up to Hajime’s front door, said man unlocking it and letting his boyfriend in before following. The door closed with a ‘click’, taking their shoes off before making their way to Hajime’s room. (Y/N) opened the door and jumped onto his bed, back first, bouncing a couple. “Don’t break my bed, idiot.” Hajime playfully scoffed as he threw his keys to his desk, walking over to his bed and staring at (Y/N).

“Hello, my dark prince.” Hajime sighed as a small smile made its way to (Y/N) face, “Move over, it’s my bed.” (Y/N) groaned, “No, too lazy,” (Y/N) let out a screech as Hajime flopped on top of him, the air being knocked out of him as his muscly boyfriend laughed. “Ass-hole,” (Y/N) coughed. Hajime laid his chin on (Y/N)’s chest, watching (Y/N)’s irises with his own. (Y/N) broke eye contact and looked at Hajime’s ceiling, “Night,” He closed his eyes as Hajime wrapped his arms around him, “It’s ten AM, dumbass,” (Y/N) whined, “So mean…” He wrapped his arms around Hajime’s head, holding him close as he yawned, “Mornin’, then,” Hajime huffed out a laugh, “Mornin’.”

*********

Ya miss me

[elysianslove]

okay i just need osamu or atsumu (can't decide which one) to comfort me. i got my college exam results and i failed it. sometimes you study hard but it doesn't work, and yeah i'm a little disappointed with myself today so can you do that? i need to read something that makes me smile and your work is so awesome. otherwise, you can totaly ignore that!

hi lovely! i know how demotivating it can be to put in a lot of work for something and not get the result you want, but i promise you, one bad grade really doesn’t determine anything at all. your efforts will be seen soon enough. just try your very, very best not to give up, and continue to pull through. it’ll be worth it all in the end ily so much <3 

and yes, of course i can write this for you!!! i didn’t choose a boy though, and left it open for you to imagine who you’d like <3 

“ya plannin’ on leavin’ yer personal cocoon, babe?” 

at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, you huff, burying yourself deeper against the mattress and lifting the blanket wrapped around you over your head, obstructing your view. 

“don’t do that, you’ll suffocate,” he scolds, but you only whine lowly. “what will the reporters say? ‘cause of death: a blanket and stupidity’?” 

“am i?” you mumble. you’d expected the first sound of your voice to have him react differently, to sarcastically rejoice, to taunt you more, but all he does is fall eerily quiet. you hear his footsteps advance you, and behind the thin blanket that covers you, all light suddenly disappears as a tall figure stands before you. you see his dark, silhouetted frame lean over you, until his hands find your covered body, and all of a sudden, his arms group around you, and you’re being lifted up. “hey wha—!” 

“i had no other choice,” he dramatically interrupts, and you roll your eyes as he lifts you up in his arms, bridal style. the blanket falls away, revealing your face to him, along with your puffy eyes and pouty lips. “there’s m’pretty baby.” 

you frown up at him as he steadies you in his arms, walking across your bedroom over to your door, kicking it open. “where are we going, exactly?”

if he notices how hoarse your voice is, he doesn’t mention it. 

“the couch.”

you roll your eyes again. it seems to be a recurring theme tonight. 

just as promised, he finds the couch in your living room, sitting you down onto it and snatching the blanket away before you can form yet another cocoon and bury yourself out of sight. feeling vulnerable, you lift your knees up to your chest, hugging your legs close to you. your boyfriend, after folding up the blanket on the chair far from you, finds a seat to your side, and sitting perpendicular to you, leans over, resting his hands on your knees, and his chin on his hands. 

“so, what’s got someone as stunnin’ and smart as you so upset?” he asks, smiling softly up at you. 

your lower lip quivers slightly, and this time, he doesn’t pretend not to notice. he sits up straighter, all humor subsiding. 

“hey, hey,” he starts, shuffling closer to you. he cups your cheek with one hand, thumb soothing against the tear stained skin, a single tear brushed away. “it’s okay, m’here for ya. i promise.” 

breathing in shakily, you bite back a sob, and ask, “am i stupid?” 

he looks baffled, genuinely taken aback. “what? what do you mean ‘am i stupid’?” 

his touch remains soft and gentle on your skin, urging you to keep your gaze focused on him. he’s observing you carefully as you struggle to find the words, eyes watering again. but he doesn’t rush you, nor does he speak. there’s no need to race against time with him. he’s always made it seem like it’s you and him against the world, that something as feeble as time would do little to affect anything. it’s you that has the upper hand, you that has control, over everything, your life, your decisions, the people you let in, the people you let go of, the struggles and hardships you face, the happiness that makes it all worth it. he’s never expected you to always be strong, not when he himself can’t amount to a promise like that. he reminds you constantly that you’re human, you’re flawed in the most beautiful way, you’re allowed to make mistakes, and it’s not the end of you. there’s always another chance. 

and he doesn’t need to say it, not ever, and not now, in this moment. he lets you catch your breath, and take your time in doing so. he lets you try and formulate the right words, in the right sentence, to make to sense of your situation, to explain it to him. and even if you don’t, he won’t pester you. all he’ll do is what he does best: hold you through it, maybe run a bath, eat your feelings out with you, take you somewhere quiet where you can scream as loud as you’d like with no consequences. because that’s who he is, to you. a steady presence, your pillar of strength and hope and love. 

“you’d still love me even if i failed? once or twice or a hundred times?” you tentatively ask. 

“well,” he starts, fingers carefully brushing at your hair, “i don’t think that changes who ya are, does it?” 

your chest heaves, and your hand lifts up to wrap around his wrist, tightly. it doesn’t matter if it’s ground yourself, or to ensure that he won’t let go. he lets you. 

“i know it hurts, baby, but no one gets anything without trial n’ error, do they? practice makes perfect, never give up, yada yada— point is, it’s somethin’ so small in the grand scheme of things,” he says. “it’s a building block, kinda. it’s important, sure, but it doesn’t mean you won’t ever get a chance like it again. you’ll prove yer worth, i know it. but trust me, yer never not worthy in my eyes.” 

managing a smile, you tilt your head, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm. he smiles back, softly. 

“with patience, baby,” he adds. “i believe in ya. yer not stupid. yer the smartest person i know— not a very high standard, you’ve seen the idiots i’m around— but still. yer plenty smart, and the fact that you’ve made it this far accounts for somethin’ right?” 

not trusting your voice, you simply nod. 

at this, his smile widens, and he relaxes a bit, before he leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i love ya,” he says, pressing another firm kiss to your temple, then leaning lower to kiss your lips. “always.” he seals his promise by pressing his lips to yours, mumbling lowly about how you taste like the ocean, before kissing you a little harder. 

as always, it will be okay. eventually.  

[ererokii]

What Goes Around Comes Around

T. Shouto x Fem! Reader (inspired song fic)

Song: What Goes Around by Justin Timberlake

Warnings: angst, cheating, like one scene of sex (very small scene), characters are 18+

Italics mean flashback

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is my first fic and my first attempt at writing angst so I’m sorry if this is quite shit and of course it had to be my boy (pls forgive if there are typos). Also big shoutout to @shoutodoki and @shoutosplaything (also thank u for beta reading gabbi) for letting me tag them!

Don’t wanna think about it

Don't wanna talk about it

I’m just so sick about it

I can’t believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it

Feeling the blues about it

I just can’t do it without ya

Can you tell me is this fair?

14 days

It’s been 14 days since the last time you saw Shouto Todoroki. You refused to acknowledge him as the man that you once loved but deep down inside you knew that you still love him. Everyday your thoughts kept haunting you as if it was a song that kept repeating itself without your permission.

Was I good enough?

Did he not love me anymore?

Could I have known before it happened?

Could it have been fixed?

Maybe I wasn’t putting enough effort?

You thought that your relationship was perfect. Like every other couple, you had your ups and downs. To something as silly as leaving the dirty dishes there or something as serious as miscommunication. Regardless, that was the best relationship you’ve been in for a while. Thought Shouto was the one to be. The one you would spend the rest of your life with. You guys were the It Couple. All your friends would always compliment on your relationship. Soulmates. That’s how everyone described your relationship with Shouto. A bond that could never be broken. The universe bringing two people together to forge the most perfect relationship. That’s what everyone used to say.

Tonight, just like every night you stared up at the ceiling refusing to let sleep take over your body as all you saw was Shouto when you closed your eyes. Laying on the couch, you stared up at the ceiling like you were in a trance, unmoving. The blanket lazily hangs off of the couch as you refused to shield your body from the cold. The unfinished dinner stayed on the granite counter in your kitchen, the half-empty wine bottle laid untouched on your low table. How pathetic you thought to yourself as you let out a weak chuckle and sat up slowly, running a hand through your messy hair. A bang like knock to your door startled you, making you turn your head quickly and could have sworn you almost gave yourself whiplash. “Who in the hell..” you mumbled and stood up, wiping your sweaty palms against your shorts as you made your way to the door, stopping in front of it. You let out a deep sigh and fixed your hair quickly to the best of your ability.

“Who is it?”

“Y/N.”

You let out an indescribable noise as you quickly covered your mouth. Why was he here? What does he need? Is he drunk? Millions of questions raced through your mind. Even with the door separating you two, you could still feel his intense gaze burning holes right through it.

“Y/N please open the door. I just want to talk to you and explain things.”

“There is nothing to talk about Todoroki” you snapped and leaned your forehead against the cool wood. He internally cringed whenever you used his last name. It sounded so foreign to him whenever the word escaped your mouth that he honestly forgot what it sounded like.

“Please all I ask of you is to let me explain”

You let out a low groan and unlocked the door quickly, opening it with force that even Shouto was surprised you would agree to face him.

“Explain?! You’re gonna explain how you oh so magically or you tripped and stuck your dick in another girl’s vagina?! Cause if you have an amazing explanation please be my guess and enlighten me.”

“Y/N come on don’t act like that..”

“No! You have no right to tell me how I should be acting! And don’t you fucking dare call me by my name. We aren’t formal anymore” You snapped and felt tears starting to form. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see you cry. Not again.

~~~~

The thought of marrying Shouto has been on your mind for the longest. Being in a relationship for 3 almost 4 years with him was amazing, you were deeply in love with him and you wanted to take the next step.

Recently you noticed a difference in Shouto’s behavior. He lost his loving touch. As time went on you noticed the bridge separating both of you as if it forbade you to meet in the middle once again. It started off small. He would come home later than usual. Yes being a Pro-Hero called for him to be out at unusual times of the night but this didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right.

“Shouto!” You called out from the front of your apartment, slipping on your shoes. “I’m going to be out for a while with Ochako! I shouldn’t be gone too long!”

Silence.

You were met with silence.

A frown formed on your face as you glanced at the man sitting down on the couch, staring down at his phone. ”Shouto?” This time you were met with a grunt. Least it was better than silence. “Did you even listen to what I said?”

“No. What did you say”

Ouch. That hurt.

“I said I was going out. With Ochako” you announced slowly, expecting that he would take notice this time. ”Uh-huh. That's cool.” he mumbled, not looking up from his phone once as a small smile formed on his face. ”Well..okay then I'll see you later then. I love you.”

Once again you were met with silence but this time he lifted his head up to meet your gaze. The look in his eyes looked unrecognized, something you haven't seen since the beginning of your friendship. ”Ok. Stay as long as you want.”

That was some of the red flags you should have taken notice of, but you were so blinded by your love for him that you didn't bring it up.

You told your best friend, Ochako Uraraka about the situation and she simply told you that you were probably overreacting and just needed to speak with the man himself. “Ochako you know he doesn't even acknowledge me anymore. He doesn't say ’I love you’, he's not affectionate anymore and always pushes me away whenever I try to have sex with him. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”

The brunette girl sitting beside you swirled the red wine in her glass as she stared down at it. ”I really wish I knew the answer for you Y/N-chan. From what it sounds like you just need to sit down and talk with him. It could possibly just be miscommunication.”

”What if he's cheating on me?”

”I'm going to have to stop you right there. Todoroki may be a bit dense at times but he isn't an idiot. If that were the case I would personally go down there and show him that he doesn't mess with the best girl around. In case you didn't notice, you're the best girl.

A weak chuckle escaped your lips as you took the final sip of your wine, relishing the way it went down your throat and left a tangy aftertaste. “Maybe I’ll buy a little something on the way back. Maybe some strawberry milk and soba noodles from his favorite place.”

“I mean you can do or you could just go straight home and talk to him without any bribery.”

A sigh exited your mouth as you placed your now empty glass on her white table. ”I really appreciate that you let me come over”

A smile tugged on her lips as she wrapped her arms around you, hugging you tightly against her smaller frame. “Of course Y/N-Chan! Let me know how it goes after!”

Then that’s how you found yourself in front of your door, reciting a small monologue on how you would approach the man. You opened the door quietly, staying put when you heard the soft creak of the door. “He should be home..” you whispered to yourself as you shut the door behind you once you entered your shared apartment. “All I have to do is approach and speak my mi-“ Black heels? When did you leave black heels here?

You didn’t. The only pair of shoes that were beside the black heels were your white slippers. You felt as if your heart dropped down in the depths of your body. It was a misunderstanding. It had to be.

You began walking towards your room, taking quiet steps despite feeling that your feet were dragging across the floor. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t capable of doing that. Right?

Turning the corner to enter the hallway you stopped your motion and stared. Across the hallway was your closed bedroom door. It felt like a journey that hasn’t even begun. Before taking a single step towards your destination, you heard it.

“S-Shouto!”

That was it. The moan. The noise of skin slapping against skin and the creaking of your once shared bed where it was him making you feel that good. Him touching you in a way that no one else could feel his touch. It used to be you. Only you.

“No no no” you repeated like a mantra and walked over quickly only to stop in front of the door, hand resting about the door knob. You were hesitating, but why? You already had your answer. Was it because you were in denial? You thought this was a dream?

Taking a deep breath you grasped the knob and turned it, pushing the door open quietly.

There it was. The scene you always hoped you would never see. Your now ex-boyfriend, drilling some woman into your mattress. Your presence seemed to be ignored by them.

“Fuck baby you fuck me so good!”

“You’re so fucking tight” Shouto grunted and threw his head back and closed his eyes before opening them again, tensing up on once he spotted you standing right behind him. His hips stilled as his hands let go of the woman’s ass.

You couldn’t believe it and started shaking your head in denial

“Y/N this isn’t what it looks like”

“Oh? What is it then huh? I know I’m not fucking blind. I can see what is going on with my own two eyes.”

He got off the bed quickly and grabbed a spare sheet, placing it on top to cover himself up. “Please Y/N” he whispered. He sounded desperate as he reached to grab your hand while taking a step towards you.

“How long has this been going on.”

“What?”

“How long have you been doing this behind my back.”

“...6 months.”

The past 6 months seemed like a lie now. Every kiss. Every touch. Every ‘I love you’ was nothing but a lie. Now, you remembered all the red flags that were thrown your way but your denial got the best of you. The constant fighting, blowing you off on dates to go hang out at ‘Midoriya’s place’ or even ‘Bakugo’s place’. Coming home late even when he wasn't called for work. It all made sense now.

”Baby we can talk about this”

“No!” You snapped and pointed a shaky finger at him. “Do not beg me. I gave you everything I possibly could. I put in all my time and my energy for this relationship and for you to just..” you trailed off and covered your mouth with your hand, suppressing a sob from fleeing. ”You know...instead for future purposes. If you want out of a relationship j-just tell them. Don't cheat on them from behind. And don’t you dare call me that fucking name again.” You said as confident as you could but in reality it was the opposite of confident. Your voice was wavering, your once perfect mascara was running down your face mixed with your tears.

Shouto gulped and clenched the sheet in his hand. “I still love you Y/N.. we can talk this out please. Just give me a chance.” He whispered and looked directly into your eyes. Broken. Torn. Guilty. The look in his eyes seemed to stare right through your soul.

“If you really loved me, you would have never cheated on me in the first place. You would have come up to me and spoken to me how you felt instead of doing this behind my back… I’m going to leave. When I come back, I want you out of my apartment. Take everything you own and leave.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What goes around, comes around

~~~~

You shut your eyes tightly as the memory and clenched your fists right by your side.

“I was drunk. I went to a bar right when you left to go visit Uraraka.” Shouto said as he took a small step towards you. It felt like the world was suffocating you.

“A bar? That’s your excuse for cheating on me? Drunk for 6 months? Please. I’m not stupid. I know plenty of men that get ‘drunk’ and they don’t cheat on their significant other. I didn’t expect that coming from your mouth. You disappointed me. You let me down. You made me feel like it was my fault.”

“That’s because it’s not!” He suddenly yelled and you flinched slightly at the sudden change of his tone. He let out a deep sigh and kept going forward till he had you caged between him and the wall inside your apartment. “It was all me. I was stupid. I’m sorry for hurting you..I should have just came up to you and spoke to you how I was feeling. I’m sorry.” He whispered and placed his finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him.

You gulped and felt his intense gaze stare through you. His bi-colored hair tickling the top of your forehead. His face was close to yours, you could feel his hot breath hitting your face as he cupped your cheek.

“I’m afraid of losing you..I don’t want to lose you Y/LN” he whispered into your ear, smiling faintly when he saw you shiver. Even like this, he still had the same effect on you and you loathed it. “We can just forgive and forget.. I’ll make it up to you I promise just please forgive me”

You wanted to. You wanted time to go back and give you what you wanted. A meaningful relationship. Being with Shouto was on your mind everyday as if it was mocking you. You desperately wanted to be in his loving arms again, feeling his body on yours. Now that you were caged behind him, a low level panic started to arise in your body. Could you ever forgive him? How could you forget? What makes this different? What if he does it again?

“She cheated on you didn’t she”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, she cheated on you. Didn’t she?”

His quietness was all you needed as your answer. You shook your head and looked up at him, stroking his scar gently with your thumb.

“And you felt if you came back to me thinking I’ll let you back huh? You think that because she cheated on you it’ll make us relate on a different level and make everything better right? How’d it feel? It felt horrible huh? Like your heart was being ripped into two then stomped on.”

Shouto growled faintly and gripped your shoulders a bit tighter, opening his mouth to say something but you interrupted him.

“No. I’m not done fucking talking. I cried. I cried and cried for your sorry ass. You and I are not feeling the same type of pain. I loved you. She didn’t. I..I still love you” you whispered the last part under your breath

Shouto sucked in air as he tensed up. Time seemed to stop as the earth stilled. No one said anything. You missed the silence with him. Under different circumstances you would have enjoyed it. “You..you still love me?”

“Course I still love you!” You cried out and pushed him off of you, walking towards him as he kept backing up with each step you took. “But I can’t be with you. Part of me wants to forgive you and throw myself at you but the other half is telling me you’ll just do it again.”

“You think I would do it again?”

“I mean you did it the first time. So what would make it different from the next? Todoroki you just.. you need to leave.”

He quickly reached for your hands and cupped them, holding them to his chest. “I can’t lose you Y/N..” he whispered

“You already did.” You said coldly and pulled your hands out of his grasp. “What goes around comes around huh? That’s your karma now. Get out. I never want to see you again. I want the guilt to swallow you alive.”

He stood there unmoving, hands grasping around nothing as he looked up at you. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry. I hope we can start over again soon. I hope you can forgive me.”

You watched as Todoroki walked down the steps and into the dark night. It felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders but the hole in your heart was still wide and open. Closing the door till he was no longer in sight, you let your head fall against the wood, letting out a shaky breath that you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Goodbye Todoroki Shouto.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What Goes Around, Comes Around

[chibbybish]

Party (Jax x Reader)

requested by: @rebel-without-cause-x

[word count: 1193]

[reading time: 00:09:32]

You could hear the loud music coming from the clubhouse but you didn't really want to join the party.

All those girls that were there only made you feel worse. And the music was too freaking loud for you to handle. You hated clubs for the same reason, but here too? Irritating.

Jax had invited you to that party. You had been dating for a few months, but those parties weren't for you. Parties in general. You loved that good old rock n roll but, that moment, it was too freaking loud.

"9 o clock babe." Jax had said and of course you couldn't say no. You could never say no, maybe that's why it always felt like something was missing.

You looked at your phone: a quarter past nine. You already had one missed call from Jax, but you just couldn't decide to join the party.

The door of the clubhouse opened and you saw Jax with his phone against his ear. When he saw you he put it back in his pocket and a big smile appeared on his beautiful face.

"Hey babe!" He exclaimed and hugged you. You hugged him back, taking a very deep breath.

"Everything okay?" He asked you and looked at you with those beautiful eyes.

"Yeah…" you said, unsure.

"Why don't you come in?" He asked.

"I just felt a little dizzy." You lied and squeezed his arm.

"Are you feeling any better now?" He asked, with a worried look on his face.

"Don't worry." You smiled. "Let's go inside." You added.

You had decided that your little insecurities shouldn't make you miss the party. You'd rock those skinny ripped jeans.

The music became louder as you entered the clubhouse, holding Jax's hand who was following behind you.

You entered the crowd and saw some familiar faces before Jax started kissing you deeply.

You started dancing against him, while getting jealous looks from many girls around the room.

"Let me grab a drink." You yelled in the crowd so Jax could hear you. He nodded smiling and kept dancing. Chibs and Tig joined him and the three of them started laughing and joking about something you couldn't really hear.

You could feel your heart beating in your throat as you approached Juice where he was sitting.

"Hi there." You yelled trying to be heard.

"Isn't the music too freaking loud?" Juice yelled.

"Yeah! You can only drink, this place isn't for conversations for God's sake." You yelled and then laughed. "Shall I grab you a beer?" Juice asked.

"Hell yeah!" You nodded. He grabbed a bear from a big box and gave it to you.

You turned to leave and go back to Jax but there was this guy behind you. He had long hair and a pair of beautiful green eyes.

"Good evening!" He yelled.

"Um. Hi?" You said, feeling your whole body trembling. You weren't really good with strangers.

"How are you tonight?" He asked with a big smile on his face.

He seemed nice. He was really friendly and made you calm down a little bit. You looked over at Jax and he seemed to be having fun with his friends, so you decided to hang out with the stranger for a little bit. Making new friends never really hurt anyone.

You found a sofa and sat next to the guy, talking about this and that, mainly about music.

"What's your name?" He asked you.

"I'm y/n! And yours?"

-I am Ian.

His smile was somewhat comforting and made you forget about all those girls you were jealous of before.

Suddenly, someone lifted Ian up. You turned your gaze and saw a very angry Jax holding Ian by the arms.

"Oh God." You thought and stoop up.

The music stopped and everyone turned to look at you and your angry boyfriend.

"Hello dude." Jax smiled, pissed. "This is my girlfriend you're talking to." He added then, making Ian laugh.

"We were literally talking about Korn, dude." He said. "It's not like I was trynna bed her in front of ya." He smirked. And that made Jax furious.

He started punching and kicking Ian in the stomach, making him beg for mercy.

"For God's sake, Jax!" You yelled and tried to stop your boyfriend from eventually killing the other guy but Chibs pulled you back.

"You're gonna get hurt, lass." He said with his Scottish accent.

"He's gonna kill him!" You yelled.

Bobby tried to take Jax away from Ian and somehow managed to do so.

You saw Jax storming out of the clubhouse and you had no choice but to run, following him outside.

Once you got out you felt the cold air hit your face.

Jax was sitting on his bike, lighting a cigarette.

You approached him slowly, feeling ashamed of ruining the party.

"I'm sorry." You said looking at the ground.

"Don't worry." He said. "It's not like he was trynna bed ya in front of me." He added, ironically, clearly mad at you.

"Jax, it was nothing, I swear. We were talking about music." You tried to defend yourself.

"I didn't like the way he looked at you." Jax said.

"So what." You said, annoyed. "I can't make new friends because you're jealous of every male around me?" You added.

"I never said that." His tone was calm.

"You think I am okay with all those skinny girls around you every day? You think that's fine with me? Should I beat every single one of them that tries to get your attention?" You felt your eyes fill with tears.

"For God's sake." Jax yelled annoyed, making you take a step back. "I will kill anyone that looks at you the same way that I look at you." He got up from his bike and started approaching you. "Can't you see, I am not interested in those girls. The only one I care about is you, (y/n). Only you!" He stated.

"You should have known that I feel the same way about you. I am not interested in any other guy than you, Jax." You uttered.

"I just didn't like the way he looked at you." He repeated. "I hate the way he looked at you, like you were some object of desire." He continued. "His face.. he clearly wanted to bed you. He.. and you looked like you were enjoying the conversation!" He exclaimed. "I mean, yes you were talking about music but? What was his motive behind that conversation? Don't be naive." He kept on saying.

You put your hand in your jacket's pocket and got out some money.

"Here's some money, now shut up." You said and extended you hand towards him.

He looked at you, confused.

"What?" He said.

"I'm giving you money so you shut up." You said, trying not to laugh.

"Are you being serious right now?" He clenched his fists, dropping his cigarette to the ground.

"I'm buying pizza, you idiot." You laughed finally. "Are you coming or not?"

Jax looked at you with an angry look for a few seconds, which later started to soften up.

He laughed and said: "Yeah, sure."

[lailarain]

Spoilers for TBHK

TW: Mentions of s3xu@l åss@ult/@buse, $uicidə and bl00d

Episode 9(continued):

"Is Amane good at S M O O C H I N G"

"He isn't my type" "you sure about that?" this is literally the only time Tsukasa has been right I swear

NO DON'T LET THEM TRICK YOU

WOAH WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS EYES

HEY NO LET HER GO

THEY LEFT HIM THERE TOO LMAOOOO

NO NENE NOOOOOO

Also, on an unrelated note, does Nene have the same VA as Chiaki from Danganronpa, cause they sound really alike

WAIT IS SHE OKAY

SHE'S OKAY YEAH BABY

OKAY WHERE TF IS HANAKO

WAIT IT'S HANAKO

HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT

This Natsuhiko is not that bright

THAT ISN'T WHAT LOVE IS YA STUPID

OH MY GOD HE'S DEAD

Holdup this isn't her home🤨

OHMYGODITSHANAKO

WHO HURT MY BABY BOY

Hanako🥺🥺🥺🥺

HE'S BLUSHING

Wait so she still has the keys? What are they even for?

YES NENE PROTECT YOUR MAN😤

Episode 10:

Okay I'm starting to doubt my $exu@| @$$ault theory a lot, but I know that Tsukasa DEFINITELY hurt my precious Hanako somehow and I don't plan on forgiving him for it

Interesting🤔

ARM WRESTLING I'M DYING😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE THEIR TRIO ISTG

IT WAS MITSUBA WHAT

THERE'S A MOUTH ON THE HAND WHAT THE HECK

NENE NOOOOO

WAIT IS THAT MITSUBA OH MY GOD IT'S MITSUBA ISN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

MITSUBA WHAT THE F

OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON

I gotta admit, Mitsuba is pretty cute

OKAY WOAH "MASTER"?!?!?😳😳😳

WAIT AOI?!?!?

OKAY NO THAT'S NOT AOI

LEAVE NENE ALONE

Kou💀

WAIT WHY DOESN'T HE REMEMBER HIS LIFE

OH SHOOT I THINK MITSUBA JUST REALIZED

CAN PEOPLE LEAVE NENE ALONE ABOUT HE LEGS NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HER SHE IS LITERALLY GORGEOUS

The mirror dude is just roasting Mitsuba and Nene💀

NOT NENE

YES MITSUBA

NO MITSUBA

NO NO NO NO NOT NENE NOT MITSUBA

WAIT WHAT

NO THAT'S NOT HANAKO

TSUKASA STOP IT

YOU LITERALLY HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR FACE AND HANDS AND ARE CHILL ABOUT IT

TSUKASA STOP IT YOU MANIPULATOR

Episode 11:

SECOND TO LAST EPISODE OF SEASON BABY LET'S GO

I'm still wondering what Tsukasa did specifically to push Hanako to murder him(other than being a terrible person. I normally LIKE psychotic characters, but this guy is just manipulative)

YEAH DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF NENE

DID HE JUST RIP OUT HIS HEART

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID HE SAYYYYY

Awwww Hanako🥺

I love Hanako I swear😭😭

WOAH IT'S SO PRETTY

WAIT SHE'S HUMAN AGAIN

Awwww Fox Girl🥺

THAT'S SO SWEET AWWWWW

wait why did Hanako stroke his face post-it thingy just now

TSUKASA LEAVE HIM ALONE

STOP BEING SO MANIPULATIVE

WAIT WHAT DID HE JUST DO TO NENE

OH KOU ISN'T GONNA TAKE THIS WELL

POOR MITSUBA

SOMEONE GIVE MITSUBA A HUG

THIS IS SO CONFUSING I CAN BARELY TELL THESE TWO APART ISTG

TSUKASA YOU FU€KƏR

NO MITSUBA

TSUKASA YOU SUCK

Hanako just standing there like 👁👄👁

DID TSUKASA JUST PUNCH HIM

WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT HE LITERALLY KNOWS ALL OF THEM

OKAY WOAH CHILL MITSUBA😳

OH NO POOR KOU

TSUKASA DOESN'T WANT HIM TO REMEMBER I BET

NENE ARE YOU OKAY

POOR MITSUBA

NO MITSUBA DON'T DO THIS

Awww Nene is sad🥺

WAIT THAT WAS THE WHOLE EPISODE?!?!?

Okay I'm gonna save the season finale for I tomorrow because it's getting late where I am

Episode 12:

Okay I know i said I'd watch it the next day and it's been more than a week since then but I swear I wasn't procrastinating

OKAY SEASON FINALE BABY LET'S GO

Okay so I think I still kinda believe in my s3xu@l @$$ault theory because I have been thinking abiut Korekiyo from Danganronpa's backstory and HE was gr00m3d by his sister(I think. I haven't actually gotten to that part of the game yet. I only heard this from tiktok), so it's still possible, but I'm not sure anymore.

WAIT SHE HAS A HAMSTER THAT'S SO CUTE

I'm still salty about Tsukasa manipulating Mitsuba🙄

I still feel really bad for Kou🥺

KOU🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Princess?🤨

Hanako istg why are you so LIT

She's worried for Kou😭

HANAKO THAT'S A LIL SUS

Awww hanako is so cute🥺🥺🥺

HANAKO WHY YOU GOTTA DO HER HAIR LIKE THAT😭😭😭😭😭

Yeah Hanako you gotta open up too😤

IT'S A FUCKIN PUFFERFISH WHAT THE FUCK

Nene lmao💀

Why does he keep calling her "Your Highness"

THIS FISH FUCK IS NTO GONNA TAKE NENE AWAY FROM HANAKO NO WAY NO HOW

A princess? Sounds like bullshit to me🤨

HE WAS CRYING AND HURT YOU FISHY IDIOT HE DIDNT ATTACK HER

NOPE DON'T YOU DARE NENE😤😤😤

This is totally the fish trying to trick her

Aoi got herself a deticated guy😳

BUT NENE DESERVES TO KNOW HANAKO'S PAST

WAIT HANAKO WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME?!?!??!

He really has to tell her his past, otherwise he's gonna lose Nene before he knows it and I DON'T THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THAT

YES NENE SHE TURNED IT DOWN MY GIRL

OH SHIT NO NENE

LET HER GO

BUT HANAKO IS IN LOVE WITH HER

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MAKING FUN OF HER LEGS ISTG

NO NENE DON'T

YES HANAKO TO THE RESCUE

HANAKO YES HOLY SHIT HE'S CARRYING HER

Awwww Nene no you mean everything to Hanako🥺

AWWW HANAKO🥺🥺🥺

THEY ARE SO CUTE AHHHHWHY DID YOU KILL YOUR BROTHER THOUGH

AJNDGEKBDJRBREJSBDUD SO CUTE

TSUKASA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BLACK STUFF I'M SCARED

AW KOU🥺

WAIT IS TERU NOT A PIECE OF SHIT ANYMORE

AWWWWW YES HANAKO AND NENE ARE SO CUTE EEEEEEEEEE

WAIT THAT'S IT?!?!?!?!

Okay so I googled it and apparently Season 2 hasn't been confirmed but there is plenty of material from the manga available to make a sequel. If anyone has any other information, I would LOVE for someone to reply to this with that info.

REVIEW TIME!

Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun is an anime about a ghost named Hanako-Kun, who haunts the school bathroom, being summoned by Nene Yashiro, a girl who dreams of having a boyfriend to love her for who she is. Despite how weird and crackhead-sounding the title and storyline are, the show has an amazing plot and incredible characters. Definitely high up on my list of animes I love. Overall, I have to rate Season 1 a definite 8/10. The show is awesome, but I despise the fact that all the characters keep making fun of Nene's legs as if a woman is supposed to have every single feature of her body be perfect. I feel like it would've made more sense if you had people make fun of her boobs or something rather than her ankles because for her boobs to be kinda underdeveloped in high school would be a definite target for bullying rather than a feature as random as her ankles. I am definitely a Hananene shipper, and possibly a Mitsukou shipper. I still wanna know WHY Hanako killed Tsukasa, and if my s3xu@l @$$ault theory was right or not. I can't wait for Season 2 to come out, and I hope they continue to have the show be the masterpiece it is.

Thank you all for being so patient with me finishing the first season, and thanks for reading my thoughts! Bye!

UPDATE: I've been told that the manga confirmed that the s3xual @ssault theory was wrong so yeah

Also, I've started collecting the manga(i currently have 1-3 and 5, with 4 and 6 arriving next month)because I'm sick of waiting for Season 2 so when Season 2 comes around just know that I might know everything that happens by then

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

The Salem House or The Scottish Cottage

Quick Tag List: @kuruumiya @spacelizardtrashboys @stupidbluegirl @enigmaticandunstable @nattinngrst

This Passage Contains Potentially: swearing, violence, blood, angst, whump, fluff and smutty content.

Summary: Rod and Kirby move in to their new cottage home in Salem, Oregon.

Kirby's POV:

Rod blindfolded me with one of his ties and drove our rented van out to the property, taking off my blindfold in front of the house.

"There it is, our new home," he twirled the keys around his index finger, "all ours now, Kirbs."

There it was, white panel exterior with fancy windows and lights along both sides of the gravel path towards the house. Without thinking I pulled Rod into a hug and kissed him, tears of happiness rolling down my cheek.

"Woah, baby, are ya alright sweetheart?"

"I love it, and I love you and-" Upon hearing that, Rod hoisted me over his shoulder, "Woah, Roddy, what are you doing?"

"Taking you inside and carrying you to the one room I know you're gonna love."

He carried me through the front double doors, through the foyer and then the kitchen, before carrying me past the television and sofa, past what I believe is the ground floor bathroom and up the stairs, letting me get a glance at the basement staircase as we went up to the top floor of our new home.

He then put me down in front of a pale green door with a childish or childlike, chalk or pastel drawing on the front.

I turned the handle slowly, not knowing what to expect.

Then I saw it.

The lone white bassinet.

Surrounded by soft toys and things you'd assume would be in a nursery.

"The former owners said that they're daughter was gonna move in before she moved to L.A. They knew she had a baby and set this room up. I'm gonna be honest with ya and tell ya that I let a couple tears slip when I saw this room ma-self, so I completely understand if you need a moment alone."

"Rod, Roddy, as much as I hate the weird wallpaper in the foyer, this room is," I took a second to compose myself, "It's perfect."

"Do ya wanna see our bedroom?"

"Yeah."

Rod showed me around the rest of the house before going into the basement.

"There's no attic, so the basement will have to do if we want to store anything anywhere."

The basement was large, the only room separated off from the rest of the basement was another bathroom. I walked to the opposite side of the basement and stopped in my tracks.

"What's wrong babe?"

"They have a hot tub?!"

"What?"

Rod walked over to me, also stopping upon seeing the hot tub in it's own corner of the basement, separate from the gym equipment and rugs and the very empty basement.

"What d'ya reckon they use that for?" Rod asked, teasing me slightly.

"No, Rod, eww, that's gross, you wouldn't dare suggest that!"

"Hot tub sex, babe, it's a thing."

"We are not doing that. Ever!"

"We are alone in the house, you know." He started unbuckling his belt, chucking it as well as his sporran down at his feet, "I know we've gotta fly back to the other side of the country later, but, right now, we're home, honey," He started walking towards me, whipping his jacket and shirt off, leaving him in his kilt and boots as he ran his hand through his hair, letting out a deep guttural sigh.

"I guess we could test out the new bed, Roddy." I started unbuttoning my shirt, exposing the peach toned tank top underneath.

"Or, We could have sex right here and now," He suggested, whipping his kilt off and in true Scottish fashion, revealing nothing but his bare body below.

He unclenched his hand, showing off the fact that he had brought a condom with him.

By the time we got to Taunton, Massachusetts on the first of March, Roddy had set aside some time for us to redecorate the house, and by the time we actually got around to redecorating, Roddy had recruited the rest of the D.O.D as well a Schultz, Orton and Orndorff to help us. We had met back at the house on the Eleventh (of March) and unbeknownst to me, Piper had made a couple calls to his friends from back in his NWA and Mid Atlantic days.

"Woo!"

"He didn't." Schultz grunted out, partly worried and partly surprised.

"He didn't do what … David?"

Schultz guided me outside to meet the guys.

"Piper! introduce ya wife to the boys, I'll go grab us some beer."

"I'm not his wife," I called after him as he walked back inside, "So, Roddy, who are these guys."

Rod leant up to kiss me, he would have backed me into the nearest wall if I didn't pull away immediately after, concern taking over any hint of a flirtatious mood in me.

"Who's this fine female?"

I recognised the voice from the yell earlier.

"Ric, this is my girlfriend, Kirby. Kirby, this is Ric Flair. Over there," he gestured to the other four, "Are Tully Blanchard, with the black hair, JJ Dillon, the other blonde looking one and Ole and Arn Anderson."

"Are they here to help or are they here to distract you?"

"The only thing distracting me is the idea of seeing you na-"

I covered Rod's mouth with my hand and gave Ric a sheepish smile, "I apologise for my hus, I mean boyfriend's attitude Ric."

"You almost said husband, Kirbs." Rod whispered to me as we led the boys inside, before he took me aside.

"It was a slip of the tongue."

"I'm sorry, about the kiss, I got a bit jealous because I know what Ric can be like, with women in particular."

"Rod, you shouldn't have to apologise for that, I love ya. I was going to start looking for you anyway, what d'ya want for lunch?"

"Don't you worry about that, I'll go grill those hamburgers we have in the fridge and … hey look, beer."

"Thank you, David."

"Anytime, Tall-ass."

"Look, babe, I'll deal with it alright, you stop worrying and I'll deal with it. I'm the man of the house so I'll deal with it."

I came up behind Roddy, putting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist, kissing his neck.

"I'm gonna go rest for a bit Rod, my head feels funny."

"Baby, baby come here."

Rod helped me upstairs, making sure I didn't fall over and letting me lay on the bed.

"We have today and tomorrow here baby, relax."

"Rod, you know me, you know I wind myself up with worry."

"I know," He brushed his thumbs over my knuckles, "I'm gonna get you some hand wraps or something, stop punching things until ya knuckles bleed."

"I thought you were gonna go cook."

"I am, but, right now, I'm taking in every little detail of the woman I love."

"You softie."

"Oh really? I'm soft. You worry way more than me baby."

"I love you, Roddy."

"I love you too, Kirby."

I slept for a short while until I was woken up by Piper and Schultz yelling obscenities at each other. I ran down the stairs and outside the house to see the two grown men squabbling like children.

Without saying anything I picked Roddy up by his midsection and took him back inside, chucking him down on the sofa.

"I'm gonna fuckin-"

"Roderick!"

"Yes, baby."

"You are drunk, and shut up."

"Yes, Sweetheart."

I helped Roddy up, almost gagging at how strong the smell of alcohol was coming from him, swiftly avoiding his attempts at kissing me and placing my hand over his mouth.

By the Thirteenth we were back working and Rod had started to get fidgety around me until things came to a head on the Thirtieth.

"Rod, are you alright, you've been awfully quiet today."

"I'm fine baby, actually, Kirby?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to be on Piper's Pit?"

"When?"

"Sunday, Yes or No?"

"This Sunday?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there's your answer."

"Wait, you'll do it."

"Of fucking course I'll do it. I don't give a fuck what Damien says."

He let out a chuckle as I pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"How's the Visa status going?"

"It's good, I'll hopefully be a US citizen before the end of May."

"So, May, you'll be a citizen, so," He mumbled to himself for a short while, "Alright, cool."

Before long it was time for me to be on Piper's Pit, fully expecting Roddy to do something and cause a ruckus to occur.

"Well, I'd just like you to know, it's a pleasure to have our first, female, guest on Piper's Pit. I want you to know that I asked every single female in the entire WWF if they would be on the Pit and only one of them said 'yes' to me. The only woman with enough guts to face me with 'Gluttony' herself, Kirby Lucifarian. Kirby, I would like to thank you for being brave enough to come out here and face me. I had Captain Lou on here last week and he said something vague about you and your sisters protecting Lauper. Why would a woman like you, someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't swear, doesn't drink, or shack up with skinny little idiots like Dave Wolff, Why would a great and accomplished female wrestler like you offer her protection to Lauper?"

"First of all, Piper, thank you for having me on here."

"My pleasure."

"Secondly, I was going to let you unmask me, but you showed support of Big John Studd, A man I greatly despise for his disrespect of both me and André."

"I am sorry for going back on that unspoken promise, Miss Lucifarian."

"Thank you for the apology, Roddy, Thirdly, may I say that I did not offer my services of protection to Miss Lauper, instead that was my father who told, Miss Lauper, that the D.O.D would protect her. Why on earth would a woman with an intelligence that rivals, yours for example, protect a girl like Cyndi Lauper?"

"I don't admire a lot of women, but you, I like you. I admire your intelligence, your ability to strike fear into the hearts of men with your words alone. I know that you have been searching for your next challenging opponent, and I for one don't wanna offer myself up, I just want to know how difficult it has been for the past few weeks going without a challenging enough opponent for your skill level?"

"Well, Piper, it's been tough, honestly, I think I may have scared everyone off. As someone who has previously been banned from women's competition, I find getting any support in the ring quite hard at times. I find your lack of fear quite charming, honest to the Lord above, you charm me, boyo."

"Thank you, you're a real sweetheart. Quick question, why do you call me 'boyo'?"

"Don't you call men 'lad' in Glasgow?"

"Oh, I see, anyway, before you go, one last thing."

I wasn't expecting this, the rest me and Rod had planned in advance, but not that line, he said he wasn't going to pull anything, he gave me his word.

Then, before I knew what was going on, he unbuckled my mask, pulling it down for a moment and kissed me square on the lips, in front of the cameras and the fans.

I tried to stand up and he dipped me down into the kiss, much to the enjoyment of the fans, who were hooting and hollering, obviously this doesn't happen much in the WWF.

Roddy kept his right hand intertwined with my ponytail and had his left arm around my back, supporting most of my waist as he brought me back up and helped me re-fix my mask into it's rightful spot.

After the show I tried to avoid Roddy for a couple minutes, trying to make sense of why he would do such a thing knowing full well we were not an 'out' couple or even an 'in' couple with the fans, sure the fans enjoying the moment was nice, but we were both heels, we were not supposed to do that off-screen, let alone on-screen and in front of a full crowd of fans.

I came to the decision to drop it for now and wait for Rod to hopefully explain his actions or somehow work it into a programme.

My mind started to wonder, maybe he would try to use that as blackmail against Damien, or even against me.

The D200's door opening and slamming shut caught me off guard, making me jump a little.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare ya."

"I'm fine, Roddy, just caught up in my thoughts, that's all."

"What were ya thinking about?"

"Nothing important, mainly just what happened earlier."

"Ya mean, me, Orndorff and Schultz winning the match?"

"No, Roderick, the kiss, we didn't plan that."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to clear that with ya, but Orndorff and Schultz said that it would get the fans interested."

"Hon."

"Yeah?"

"Next time, please clear everything we do in a promo or interview with me first, so I don't start wondering if you'll blackmail me."

"I would never blackmail ya, maybe Damien, but never you."

"I love you, ya hot-headed, kilt wearing idiot."

"I love you to, ya blonde, gothic, tattooed Ivory tower."

"Did you call me an 'Ivory tower'?"

"You're tall and pale, what d'ya want me to say?"

END OF THE SALEM HOUSE or THE SCOTTISH COTTAGE

[mypersonmyg]

alright i have nO clue how to do this and i'm not the best at cowboy stuff bUT ig one where yoongi n idk some random dude have a gun fight for the reader's heart?? listen i don't do cowboy stuff i'm sorry 😭😭 also hi ily uwu

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

WC: 365

Genre: western, fluff, a bit of crack

Rating: pg

Warnings: mention of guns but not actually guns

Summary: Your boyfriend decides to defend your honor OR Yoongi has a gunfight for your heart

a/n: not really sure what this is, but it’s not serious at all. ily dana and i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at a drabble uwu 🔫​🤠​

“You realize how ridiculous this is, yes?” You glance at Yoongi, his focus on loading his gun rather than paying attention to you. “You’re acting like a child.”

“I’m defending your honor,” He counters in a low mumble. You pull your knees to your chest, the thick of the grass brushing your exposed thighs. The sun is high, making the field hotter than usual in midday. 

“I don’t really think that’s true, but whatever helps ya sleep at night.” You quip, glancing around for Yoongi’s competitor. Instead what you see is a gaggle of idiots making their way over, all wearing various grins of excitement. “Really?”

“What? How often do we get to see Yoongi hyung do something like this? We wouldn’t miss it,” Jeongguk giggles, sipping an oversized slurpee. You then turn toNamjoon who only shrugs as if to say ‘he’s right you know’.

“Y’all are hopeless.”

“What am I supposed to do, just let him flirt with you?” Yoongi’s tone is incredulous, his free hand waving about. “Look, it’ll take like ten minutes, then we can go do whatever you want!” 

“You do know you’re all adults? I’m just checkin’ ‘cause you’re actin like a bunch of children runnin’ in there front yard.” You chuckle at the lot of them as they eagerly nod their heads before turning back to Yoongi. “Fine, but I swear that if you lose I’m never speakin’ to you again, Min Yoongi.” 

“Well duh, if I lose then we have to break up.” You scoff, slapping him against the chest. “I’m just tellin’ you the rules! No need to be violent.” 

“Well there’s your little buddy now, sharpshooter.” You nod your head in the distance, the challenger of said ridiculous duel approaching with his own clown posse. “I’m embarrassed to say that I’m a part of this.” 

“Just stay back and let me handle this,” Yoongi says, pumping the nozzle on his water gun one good time before making his way, the rest of the guys right behind him. You sight but follow in tow, sure that whatever is about to unfold will at least be amusing. 

“You’re damn lucky I’m in love with you.” 

[sevensins-stuff]

I'm feeling spicy. Give me some HEARTACHE!!!

39.-heartache

They never loved him. It was odd how he developed feelings for them in the first place. Perhaps seeing them everyday made him find the little things that would've otherwise been overlooked. But his biggest mistake was thinking that they would've felt the same way.

He had only found out one day when he went to go pick up the human from their last class of the day. The white haired demon did not expect the exchange student to make such good friends in their class. He thought even less about the possibility of them having a crush on anyone other than him, but there they were. The human and a lower demon exiting the class with their arms linked together and laughing.

Mammon couldn't believe what he was seeing and as much as he wanted to butt in, he didn't want to act out too soon. He still held a little bit of faith after all. He followed behind them sneakily enough to not get caught, but hearing them joke and laugh together was enough to make his blood boil. They stopped in the center of RADs garden and Mammon was hidden away between two large shrubs. He listened in on their conversation.

The pair stopped and stared at each other for a moment, heat rushing to the human's cheeks as the demon looked on with a pleasant smile. They breathed deeply to calm their nerves before speaking.

"Have you heard about the special formal coming up soon?"

"I have, yes."

"Are you interested in going?"

The demon before them hummed softly before answering, "I would like to go. But only if you're attending as well."

"Would it be best if we go together?" They didn't hesitate with their words but their heart beat heavily against their chest. They didn't even realize that they were holding their breath waiting on his answer.

He smiled cheerfully and nodded. It was cute to see this human in front of him admit their feelings so forwardly. It was something to be entertained.

Mammon had enough. He jumped from behind the large shrubs and shouted angrily causing the pair to jump and direct their attention to him.

"Like hell I'll let you go with that piece of shit!"

He walked over to them and grabbed their wrist with a powerful grip. They, however, stood their ground and tried to shake off the demon's larger hand.

"Mammon, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm takin ya home. It's what's best for ya."

"And how do you know what's best for me, hm? You're ruining everything right now!"

"I know what's best for ya cause you're my human. I was your first!"

They were furious now. They ripped their hand from his grip and stared at him with the licks of hellfire in their eyes.

"I made a pact with you first Mammon. I'm only your human because you were assigned to protect me. I'm not your human and you're not my first. You're acting like an overly attached boyfriend right now and it's embarrassing."

His fury matched theirs in the eyes but his heart began to crack. There was no way that they couldn't like him even a little bit. There had to be at least a little love in their heart for him.

"I'm acting the way I am because I like you. I was gonna ask you to the formal and I was gonna be your man. I just wanted you to like me to."

Their eyes turned dull in that moment. They couldn't believe what they had heard. He was truly an embarrassment. They shook their head slowly and their was no trace of emotion left in their features at all.

"Mammon...I don't like you. Like, at all. I'm sorry that you like me so much but you're just not my type. Just go home. I'll probably see you later."

His heart shattered. The little bit of faith and hope he had disappeared and he could do nothing else but watch that human link arms with that lower level demon and walk away without another word. He was heartbroken.

He was never the same after that day. He hated thinking about how stupid he felt. He was an idiot and rightfully so.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: ? Janis: Save you the details, want to brain my sister as per Janis: but I need to ask you for a huge favour on her behalf Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: hang on, let 'em play for a sec Jimmy: ... Jimmy: alright, go on Janis: 😑 Janis: don't you start Janis: well she's got a date that she doesn't want to go on, but is gonna 'cos it'll piss Mia off/potentially show her up Janis: aware this is like a bad, really bad, teen drama-edy but hold on Janis: but like she really doesn't want to go 'cos she's her and he sounds like a twat tbf so she wants to double-date it Janis: which, undeniably, would piss Mia off more so bonus if we can deal being around her Janis: we don't have to stay ages, do it for the 'gram and bounce, old skool Jimmy: 1. I was only taking the piss out of her, calm down Jimmy: 2. this is bollocks but I heard you at piss Mia off Jimmy: 3. where & when? Janis: 1. this is how she's got me rn soz like tread carefully boy 🐍 Janis: 2. I know Janis: 3. [Place and time] Janis: Don't worry, I'm paying if he don't offer, he's some posh kid Mia wants on/has been on, apparently Jimmy: I dunno where that place is but it sounds fancy as shit Jimmy: outfit crisis like Janis: Am I gonna have to talk you down in the changing room too, like Janis: well I've been instructed to look 🔥 so she's either #over you or trusts you to bring it, which is rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: calm me down in there if you wanna Jimmy: that'd be hot Jimmy: I always look 🔥 & this whole town knows it babe 👌 Janis: Might make shopping bearable, give you that Janis: 😏 Don't disagree Jimmy: let's go shopping then Janis: Easily persuaded, you 😂 Jimmy: you don't wanna? sounds fake Janis: Didn't say that Janis: Called you easy, little bit Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Awh baby Janis: so mean to you Jimmy: 😭 me Jimmy: enjoy your lattes everyone, nowt to see Janis: Such a 💔 mental image Janis: hope Pete is there to comfort you Janis: that's a sexy one Jimmy: your shout for 💔 'cause your boyfriend ain't in today Janis: Nooooooo Janis: won't bother coming in now Janis: what's the point Jimmy: I knew that's why you weren't rushing Jimmy: obvious you Janis: You know Janis: 'til I get his number, gotta keep you sweet Jimmy: keep me sweet enough I'll give you it Janis: How sweet is that then? Jimmy: I'd have to find where the manager's left everyone's contact details Jimmy: least a few sugars Janis: 😏 keep it in mind Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let me know Janis: bit mad you couldn't even pretend you're having a torrid affair with him but still like ya Jimmy: bit mad you want me to instead of being jealous but still like you too Jimmy: suppose Janis: I can be jealous Janis: jealous and aroused Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll keep it in mind Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: what are you up to actually Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: what are you doing? Jimmy: other than plotting Gracie's murder Janis: Literally that's all I've got done today thanks to her 😑 Janis: one minute I'm helping her find outfits, the next she's telling me to fuck off basically Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: must be catching Jimmy: Cass is in a right strop Janis: Cass no, don't let the side down Janis: you know why or just 'cos? Jimmy: the prospect of family dinner ain't got none of us full of the joys Jimmy: but I reckon she's mostly bored Jimmy: she ain't done nowt this hol really 'cause I'm always working & leaving her to look after Bobs Janis: Yeah, makes sense Janis: You Dad needs to find a proper childminder, like Jimmy: she used to be out with her mates loads before Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: can't be the dickhead arranging playdates for a 12 year old Janis: Well, Grace did say she'd babysit for you as thanks Janis: so if she met Bobs and he wasn't completely terrified of her Janis: Cass could go out for a bit, do her own thing Jimmy: that'd be decent Janis: I could also go round there, more reg like, take him and Twix out to the park Janis: even if it's like an hour, better than nothing, right? Janis: not like your Dad is there to nope it so Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: actually Jimmy: You're just Janis: It's no big, you're the one actually working Jimmy: yeah but they ain't your siblings Jimmy: only your 🐶 Janis: Yeah but you know, they're alright, as are you Janis: it's only for the rest of the hols anyways Jimmy: steady on, gonna make me fall in love with you Janis: 😏 idiot Jimmy: I put a spare key out so you can go whenever you want Jimmy: Cass has lost 'bout 4 since we've been here Jimmy: reckon she only does it to piss my dad off Janis: Feel it Janis: he deserves it Jimmy: probably in the bin or summat Jimmy: find 'em all under her pillow Janis: making a statement necklace Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she does usually wear it round, well spotted Janis: I 👀 all Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: I better stop making eyes at the customers then Janis: How else you gon' get tips Jimmy: #where'sthejealousy? Jimmy: get yourself a girlfriend who don't give a shit, lads Janis: what you want me to be jealous for so bad? Jimmy: I'm just pissing about, Janet Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Likely story Jimmy: I miss you, there's one Janis: I miss you too Janis: and if you've been flirting with any old ladies Imma flip shit okay Jimmy: let's say I have 'cause I wanna see you fuck shit up at the CG Jimmy: & just see you Jimmy: so 👵💕 Janis: 😡😡😡 Janis: catch these hands deidra you old hussy Janis: get your own man Jimmy: have a heart babe he died in WWII Janis: probs look just like him Janis: least the dementia telling her so Jimmy: it's 'cause I'm so 💪 Jimmy: & got all them medals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: for being a prize dickhead, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Janis: don't act all devvo with me now, playing hero all afternoon Jimmy: come see me I'm so bored Janis: Have you saved up a break or nah Janis: real jealousy over them 🚬s Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & I finish soon Jimmy: we can go shopping Janis: Yeah? Janis: Okay then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: maybe I'll find something to cheer Cass up while we're there Janis: You're so nice Jimmy: nah, she's a good kid Jimmy: didn't ask for nowt of this Janis: Yeah Janis: none of yous did Janis: so you're still nice Jimmy: more my fault than hers that we moved Jimmy: wedding crashing & baby daddy drama, remember? 🙄 Jimmy: to hear my dad tell it like Janis: Yeah but that's like Janis: not actual is it Jimmy: don't stop him Jimmy: he'd have to take some blame then Janis: Heaven forbid Janis: My parents always act like they're blaming themselves but they just do it so people disagree Janis: dead sly Jimmy: sounds like when all your sister's mates say how much weight they've put on so the others will rush to say nah Jimmy: you ain't Tammy you're gorg babes! Janis: Literally 🙄 Janis: I hate that shit Janis: but I'm up myself for at least owning it and not forcing everyone into the pantomime okay Jimmy: I always wanna be like maybe don't order a croissant then, babes, but #tips so Janis: 😂 Janis: You're such a dick Janis: I love it, never change Jimmy: least your sister never eats owt Jimmy: even Mia orders shit to stare at Janis: they're all idiots Janis: just in different ways Jimmy: yeah, I got that Jimmy: probably spent more time with 'em these hols than you've ever had to Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: half of 'em are named after countries or colours Jimmy: ?? Janis: Basic from birth Janis: destined to be each other's shitty friend Jimmy: my dad did me that one decent shout Jimmy: tah, Ian Janis: 😂 Janis: Your name suits you Jimmy: hang on, what's yours again? Jimmy: gimme a sec & I can return the compliment Jimmy: Juliet, yeah? Very real Janis: Ha ha 🖕 Janis: It's an old woman's name so you should love it Jimmy: I knew I liked you for SOME reason Jimmy: there it is Janis: Your perviness never letting you down freak Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: so romantic, babe Janis: That ain't why you're with me Jimmy: yeah it is, last of the greats, remember? Jimmy: twitter agreed Janis: How could I forget Janis: sent me my first nude awh 💕 Jimmy: did you want it then though? Janis: You were hot, wasn't gonna say no Janis: that fake sext was 🔥 Jimmy: I'm an artistic Jimmy: boy Janis: Yep, totally focused on your talent, boy Jimmy: I wanted to impress you Jimmy: for real Janis: 😊 Janis: Well, you did Janis: for real Jimmy: alright, good Janis: You know EVERY bitch was thirsting after you then why wouldn't I? Jimmy: I've told you before, you ain't like 'em Jimmy: & you could kiss me how you did & just walk away Jimmy: so Janis: Sorry to disappoint but you looked good Janis: and it was funny Janis: and you actually did it Janis: so Jimmy: I always look good, am funny & accept challenges Janis: Go out with me then Jimmy: I'll think 'bout it Jimmy: remind me who you are Janis: 💔 Janis: so harsh Jimmy: you want me to be kind, baby? Janis: yes Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: I'll be so kind Janis: 😍 Janis: Am I mean Jimmy: not to me Jimmy: I dunno how you're chatting to everyone else Janis: oh, exactly like this Janis: my technique Jimmy: nah then, you're 👌 Janis: 😏 Good good Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: why? Janis: Grace reckons I'm basically Hitler Stalin and Pol Pot in one Janis: if she knew who the last two were Jimmy: she's friends with Mia her judgement's for shit Janis: True Jimmy: do you reckon you're mean to her? Janis: No Janis: Unless I intend to Janis: she just overreacts Jimmy was timed out 4 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 4 days ago Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: Yeah, you're right Janis: only doing this to piss off Mia Jimmy: #same Jimmy: & for the free babysitting 👌 Janis: 👍 too right Janis: cash that in whenever Janis: she thinks Bobby is cute Janis: hopefully a good thing, not a 🚩 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I know I ain't interested girl but you can the bar a bit higher Jimmy: aim* Janis: Under 13 is honestly not a #mood babes Jimmy: more about the over 50s but go on, like Janis: 😂 different strokes, I guess Janis: how non-shamey was that Jimmy: decent use of the word strokes Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: 🙇 Janis: I try Janis: 'til I get grey hair how else am I keeping you interested Jimmy: get to the hair salon, rich girl Janis: 😏 get a Brazilian blowout whilst I'm there Jimmy: I can't even fake 👍 Jimmy: stop Janis: I'm surprised you know what that is Janis: 100% sit with my sister and co and bitch about me, confirmed Jimmy: I don't but the threat was clear Janis: You're cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: but I like you Jimmy: & what the fuck is it then? Janis: not 100% what is Brazilian about it but Gracie comes out looking like a show pony Jimmy: not very beachy or hot weather appropriate but alright Jimmy: but not alright, nah Jimmy: don't Janis: it takes hours Janis: fat chance Janis: can think of better things to do Jimmy: if you ever can't, call me Jimmy: I can think of loads Janis: Good to know Janis: knew there was a reason I was dating you, like Jimmy: #formybrain Janis: Yep Janis: first thing I noticed 'bout you Jimmy: I get that a lot Jimmy: not right now though Jimmy: I'm so tired Janis: 😔 Janis: not a store room you can nap in Jimmy: ☕ shop, mate Jimmy: easy fix Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're gonna need to go 🚬 'fore you kiss me then Jimmy: demanding you Jimmy: but yeah it is 🤢 Janis: You're somehow just finding out? Okay Jimmy: piss off Janis: Just sayin' don't go spreading that around, you're meant to know exactly how demanding I am by now, Christ Janis: not that frigid Jimmy: I'm just saying piss off Janis: ? okay Jimmy: you're Janis: hello? Janis: 😴? Jimmy: I'm alive, no tah to you Jimmy: gimme more mental images of how demanding you are & finish the job like Janis: Ahh 😏 Janis: Nah, leave you wondering and hanging on Janis: bitch like that Jimmy: why I hate you so much Janis: I know Janis: Makes it more fun Jimmy: what happened to wanting me to be kind? Jimmy: fickle you Janis: 🤷 Janis: trying to keep you awake and on your toes, boy Janis: manager can thank me Jimmy: I'd rather do it Jimmy: Unless you're 😍 for him now too Jimmy: love a man of mystery, yeah Janis: 😂 yeah, you're too familiar now Janis: gotta go Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what the fuck are we gonna do on this double date? Jimmy: never done one Janis: Me either, oddly enough Janis: I hope she'd have picked someone else if it was a keys in the middle situation Janis: but maybe not, omg Janis: she's conned us Jimmy: Mia would pop up from behind a plant or summat Jimmy: lunge for you Jimmy: in a sexy/threatening way Janis: 😬 Janis: we gotta cancel rn immediately Jimmy: #cancelher Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Babe don't let her get me Jimmy: not gonna 💪 Jimmy: such a hero like that Janis: I won't let Grace wifeswap you Janis: not until I've 👀 this dickhead anyway Jimmy: tah Jimmy: like I said, them brazilian hair bollocks are doing nowt for me Jimmy: she'd end up disappointed Janis: 💔 Janis: don't need her pity so nah, not happening Jimmy: I'd have to hit up that look but don't touch girl for tips Jimmy: can't remember her name so Jimmy: just the weak ankles Janis: who Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: who's this lad then? big spender but what else? Janis: 🤷 Janis: Goes to a School Mia wishes but too thick that even money can't, appaz Janis: not white, I think she said Janis: ego Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: this is gonna be a right laugh, isn't it? Janis: You ain't gotta ride him Janis: we'll have a drink and go Janis: might be enough of a dick that is a laugh tho so Jimmy: if I have to watch your sister try I know that's a laugh Jimmy: seen it before Jimmy: her flirting is 🥇 Janis: 🙄 Don't remind me Jimmy: show 'em how it's done babe Jimmy: fancy places always have hot waiters Janis: Livin' for the dramatics always, you Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: #artist Jimmy: gotta suffer for that 🎨 Janis: use your 😥 to paint out that pain Jimmy: use my 😭 Janis: No half-measures Janis: I know, babe Jimmy: pete ain't here, you're gonna be off fucking the waiting staff Jimmy: I mean Jimmy: just 💔 Janis: Well we're all devestated about Pete, first of all Janis: where is he, what does he do with his free time Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: he's in a band 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna drunk dial Barry, see if we can't hug it out Janis: OH BITCH Janis: really withholding that info from me weren't ya Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 100% the bassist Jimmy: he is yeah Jimmy: I've been on his insta 'cause that loved up like Janis: So hot Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: Even though I'm mad you're tryna keep him all to yourself Janis: dickhead Jimmy: first come first serve, Janet Jimmy: I saw him way before you Janis: Yeah but I really SEE him, you know? Janis: we've got a connection Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Groupie mode activated Janis: bet they're SO good Jimmy: [sends his like soundcloud or whatever people use idk 'cause obvs linked to the insta] Jimmy: 👍👍👍👍👍 Janis: Come thru, you stalker Jimmy: told you 😍😍😍 Jimmy: step your game up, Judy Janis: in stalking or being your actual bae Janis: #therealquestionsnogirlshouldhavetoask Jimmy: you don't have to ask it Jimmy: bit nosy you Jimmy: #stillnotadecentstalkerthough Janis: Not allowed to ask questions now Janis: that's your bit not mine anyways Jimmy: #stayinyourlane Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: I'll stay home then 👌 Jimmy: nah you won't Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know you've already left Janis: I could probably find Gracie Janis: follow the sobs Jimmy: go on Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: shut up Janis: be nice Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Janis: No, just love me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want you, how's that? Janis: Works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't had no ☕ so we can make it work Janis: You should've Janis: not that mad really Jimmy: got a sudden rush on Jimmy: no time Jimmy: fuck you Pete Janis: Ugh Janis: fuck off people Jimmy: still had time to scroll though Jimmy: Pete's got a bird I reckon 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so mad 'bout it Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: Why are you trying to hurt me so bad Jimmy: 'cause I feel it too, babe Janis: I feel like all my dreams are dead Janis: crying on this bus Jimmy: tweet that at him Jimmy: he can use it for a lyric Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: hi, we've not properly met but 💔 Jimmy: he'd love it Janis: Enough to chuck the gf orrr Janis: I ain't bothering otherwise Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: Awh, thanks babes 😘 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: love you 💕 Janis: love you too 💕 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: back in the #friendzone Jimmy: I get it, you've seen an in with your true love, get on it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #wheresthejealousy? Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍 Jimmy: who am I fighting though? Pete ain't in Janis: Take it out on me for now Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Not saying you gotta remind me who's name to say but you know Janis: can't hurt, babe Jimmy: like I said, stay in your lane Jimmy: that's my shout Janis: 😂 Janis: Good thing you're #unforgettable Jimmy: are you hungry 'cause I am Janis: oh baby 🤤 Janis: but nah Janis: could eat Jimmy: nah you have to really want it Jimmy: the food here ain't worth a maybe Jimmy: starving or don't bother Janis: watch you eat then Janis: #creeper Jimmy: sexy Janis: Believe it Janis: watch you sleep later Jimmy: this is why you're last of the great romantics, love Janis: you're so 🍀 Jimmy: hang on, let me tweet it Jimmy: let the fans know Janis: gotta make the most of the ban lift Jimmy: that better not be a challenge, girl Janis: such a slag Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Jus' sayin' Janis: save a lil something just for me, yeah? 💔 Jimmy: there's the jealousy Jimmy: we found it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: it's all for you, girl Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: you on your way to make me? Jimmy: 'cause til then nah Janis: Such a talker Janis: never take a break, you Jimmy: you love it though Janis: You reckon? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: all 'bout the noises you Janis: 😳 Janis: Don't be chatting that when you ain't here to back it up Jimmy: I will when you get here Jimmy: so come on Janis: can't blame me for being slow Janis: I ain't running and I ain't the driver so Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell whoever is to get a move on Jimmy: #medicalemergency Janis: Sadly not our bus driver bestie Janis: he'd understand Janis: be gutted it's me not you but you know Jimmy: he liked you too Jimmy: I'm just 🥇 after the latest ride Janis: thanks for the pep talk, babe Janis: so supportive Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & always ready with a challenge Janis: I reckon I know what you're thinking Jimmy: ? Jimmy: go on Janis: Doesn't take a genius to work out you want me to go for your title 🥇 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: save it for when our #1 fan is there though Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're actually in love with him Janis: 💔 Jimmy: he's a bit young for me Jimmy: but a decent Barry rebound I reckon Janis: Giving blowies for lifts, told ya Janis: with how cheap bus is, bit shaming but okay, have a nice life Jimmy: cheap for you, rich girl Jimmy: you gonna throw money 'round on this date, show this lad up? Janis: 😏😂 Janis: I don't know if I'm allowed to Janis: gonna need her to clarify what her actual plan here is Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you do what she tells you now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: you wanna re-write that sentence then? Janis: If the goal is to piss off Mia, idk if that'll help us achieve said goal Janis: there Janis: pedantic Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Gonna be that couple are we Janis: having a row and making the other people wanna die Jimmy: Are we? Janis: keep 🙄 and we'll see Jimmy: keep telling me what to do & we'll see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not 😍 for that Janis: noted Jimmy: unless it's like shhh go to sleep Jimmy: or summat Janis: You don't need to be told sleepyhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but nah I'm fighting it 💪🏆 Janis: sure you wanna go shopping and not snoozing? Jimmy: don't you wanna go? Janis: happy just to see you, darling Janis: seriously, whatever Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cass' potential mood upswing depends on it so Jimmy: we gotta Janis: Oh duh, forgot already Janis: your fault for being distracting Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haven't even been on twitter Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jenna Janis: Fine Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll get back to work then Janis: *is ignoring you shh* Jimmy: ☕☕🍪🥐☕ Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: Such a pervert Jimmy: I'm so busy I can't reply soz Jimmy: 👴💋 Janis: Hate you so much Jimmy: I hate you too, babe Janis: 😏 you ain't even funny Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're good at faking but not that good Janis: Fine, give you that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if that's all you're gonna gimme, guess I'll take it Janis: Let your old biddy customers tell you how handsome you are Jimmy: they are Jimmy: can barely hear my phone going Janis: must be being polite today too Janis: working for those tips Jimmy: they're polite so I don't have to be Jimmy: #blessed Janis: dickhead Jimmy: & you love it Janis: nice to know you're not a total arselick, yeah Janis: couldn't even fake date that Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: I'll pass on to my manager that he's out of the running Janis: I assume he's the chubby guy, mid 30s Janis: who I've literally seen once Jimmy: yeah, that's the one Janis: Thought so Janis: was already out of the running Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: gutted mate Jimmy: he'll be crying in the back when he realises Janis: Shoulda thought've that before he shouted at my mans in front of customers Janis: poor Pete Jimmy: that's why he's really off Jimmy: can't bear to show his face like Janis: So mad Jimmy: he'll write a decent song 'bout it Jimmy: be alright Janis: gf will console him Janis: I'll make an anon complaint about the manager like the unsung hero I am Jimmy: coming up 🌹s Jimmy: top one, pete Jimmy: proud of him Janis: you can't be proud of him he's older than you Jimmy: how's that work? Janis: you're a child Janis: he's a manly man Janis: that's how that works Jimmy: piss off am I or is he Jimmy: sounds faker than you've ever Janis: 😂 Janis: deal with it, boy Jimmy: deal with me Jimmy: girl Jimmy: I'm a better man than any Jimmy: including your true love Janis: Hot Jimmy: it will be when I prove it Janis: I was joking but now I'm Jimmy: I'll show you I'm not Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: Just Janis: you're killing me here Jimmy: I'll make it better Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: lowkey ages Janis: feels it Janis: still going 'round the houses here Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext like he did way back when] Jimmy: I reckon you should have something to read Jimmy: & think about Janis: I Janis: have you ever thought of doing that as a living Janis: you could Janis: way easier than slinging coffees probably Jimmy: maybe now I've got such a top muse Jimmy: you really inspire me Jimmy: [sends another one 'cause extra] Janis: Actually dead Janis: I did warn you Janis: Fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: it backfired, I was trying to keep you going til I can do everything I wrote down Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Everything, yeah? Jimmy: that was the plan but it's too late now Jimmy: gotta call Barry & see if he'll be my date to the funeral Jimmy: look so good in black he'll have to say yeah Janis: You're so mean Janis: don't talk about him right now Jimmy: what do you wanna talk about? Janis: You Janis: and me Jimmy: go on Janis: It's stupid how much I miss you when you ain't around Janis: touching you and kissing you Janis: all of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I want you so much Jimmy: all the time Jimmy: I don't feel stupid Jimmy: I feel Janis: I feel it too Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: 'cause it's good Jimmy: you're Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you make me feel really good, you know Janis: good Janis: that's what i wanna do Jimmy: anything else? Janis: i mean Janis: lots of things can fall under what makes you feel good so Janis: not really Jimmy: chat to me 'bout them Jimmy: drown out these customers for me Jimmy was timed out 30 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 26 hours ago Janis: All I can think about is how badly I wanna be alone with you in a changing room right now Jimmy: I'm thinking of places we can be alone here too, don't worry Jimmy: resourceful like that Janis: Man of many talents Jimmy: there's more privacy in this place than you'd think Jimmy: especially when your man Pete the only other smoker ain't here Janis: Why you been holding out on me Jimmy: blame your boyfriend, he's always on shift Jimmy: & I only just found out the disabled toilet gets so little use it's used as a cleaning supply cupboard Jimmy: must have better taste in coffee Janis: I intend to, add it to my list of grievances with him Janis: Clearly Janis: interesting Jimmy: you're gonna be over the character limit on these tweets, babe Jimmy: get typing Jimmy: the customer toilets are well nicer than ours, write an anon complaint 'bout that tah Janis: Got a lot to say Janis: you gonna let be vent to you? Jimmy: like I'm always saying, so chatty you Jimmy: but I've also said you can say what you want, loads of times so Jimmy: keep up, Jill Janis: You've also called me a horny mute enough times to give a bitch a complex so Janis: challenging that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 poor lass Jimmy: challenge accepted, if you're frustrated enough to need to vent, take 'em out on me Janis: 💔💔💔 so mean Janis: it is your fault, like Jimmy: it is Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: use your boyfriend Janis: Jesus Janis: I Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I want you to Janis: How are you so Janis: it's rude Jimmy: I've missed you Jimmy: is the answer Janis: I wish you didn't have to work all the time Janis: but it's good that you do or you'd be sick of the sight of me if I could see you as much as I want Jimmy: nah I wouldn't Jimmy: you're 🥇 remember Janis: You're gonna fuck me at School, yeah? Janis: I can't handle being around you all day and not at least kissing you Jimmy: if we have to be there then I have to Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: we'll find somewhere Janis: Loads of the lads chat like they have, probably bullshit for the most part but gotta be doable Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: I told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I really like you Janis: you're fun Jimmy: you Jimmy: but I won't spread it 'bout & ruin your 💪 rep Janis: Cheers 👍 Janis: my rep is so important, obvs Janis: so many friends and fans, so little time Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: just make time for me & it's alright Janis: you're the only one I want Jimmy: make me believe it when you get here Janis: you're gonna have no choice but to Janis: trust Jimmy: such a romantic Janis: don't take the piss, boy Janis: #medicalemergency remember Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: I already told you, you make me feel so good Jimmy: it's that's not #romance I don't want it Janis: Good Janis: don't be dumping me for some lovey-dovey bitch yet Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: too many grandmas to choose from Jimmy: I need time Janis: take your time Janis: as much as you need Janis: then some Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: wish you weren't right now Jimmy: REALLY need that break Janis: we're 5 minutes now Janis: unless any more of your faves decide to chat on their way off Jimmy: unless they wanna fall out with me Jimmy: better not Janis: 😂 let it be known Janis: oi sandra, better get a wriggle on Jimmy: Doris, leave it out Jimmy: put 'em all on blast Janis: must really like me 😏 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: must do Janis: 'cos you know I ain't gonna tip you as good Janis: how the rich stay rich Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: oh rich girl! 💔 bit rude but I can't say I'm surprised Jimmy: there's the real tip Jimmy: spend wisely Jimmy: you gonna need all your wealth to flex on this double date Janis: Obviously Janis: can't have him 💪 all over us Janis: clearly insufferable enough without that Jimmy: you gonna meet me 'round the back then? since you're slumming Jimmy: or you wanna flex on some 👵👴 too first? Janis: You know I gotta 👀 the competition Jimmy: doesn't exist, baby Jimmy: so just check me out & let's go Janis: that's right, tell me what I wanna hear Jimmy: I'd rather give you what you need but if you're 5 minutes away I guess we can talk a bit Janis: I know, such a hardship for me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: take that out on Doris & Bill 🥊 Janis: No, you Janis: I'm not the one who acts inappropriate with oldies Jimmy: only got your word for that Janis: 😑 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [more time passes than is usual] Janis: I'm getting off the bus Janis: you alright? Jimmy: rare appearance from your spurned love interest Jimmy: gonna make this more fun Janis: Which one? Jimmy: what did you call him, a chubby 30 year old? Jimmy: time to put on a show, girl Jimmy: let's see how 'down with the kids' he really wants to be Janis: I believe I was generous and gave him mid-30s Janis: which is when we find out he's 26 and the receding hairline is genetic, thanks Janis: chose a time to give a shit 🙄 but down for the challenge, obviously 🥇 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell me what I wanna hear, babe Jimmy: NEED to hear, like Janis: I'm outside Jimmy: come in then Jimmy: say hello Janis: No more talking, yeah Jimmy: I'm not refusing you Jimmy: not when you chat like that Jimmy: come inside Janis: Coming Jimmy: [really extra kiss as a hello obviously but not sorry everyone cos its hot af] Janis: Well Janis: he's not looking yeah Janis: you go first Jimmy: alright Jimmy: one sec Janis: Try and be less obvious, babe Jimmy: me? you Janis: I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy: hang on, I'll show you Jimmy: exactly what you did Janis: You can't Janis: show me anymore here Jimmy: [does 'cause challenge accepted this is why you're gonna get in trouble lad] Janis: Come on, Jimmy Janis: you need a smoke, yeah Janis: really bad Jimmy: desperately Jimmy: how did you know? Janis: Me too Janis: amongst other things Jimmy: [lights her 🚬 up but in a really sexy way thank you cos SEXUAL TENSION BITCH gotta make 'em wait longer cos I'm rude] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: no but Jimmy: ? Janis: You know what Janis: don't play innocent Jimmy: don't you Jimmy: come here Jimmy: get what you want Janis: [Does] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you take direction really well Jimmy: I thought it was only when you were faking Janis: Only when it's what I want Janis: but sure, we can pretend it was your idea, babe Jimmy: I don't want to pretend Jimmy: not right now Janis: Then get what you do want Jimmy: [does & it's everything he said he was gonna do in those hot sexts so damn] Janis: [After when she's got kicked out and he's getting fired, is ignoring] Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what happened Jimmy: he's #overit Jimmy: & sacking me Jimmy: now Janis: what Janis: nah Jimmy: put your ear to the door Jimmy: not gonna get a glowing reference when I show up to work for the competition Jimmy: bit rude Janis: obviously I've gone Janis: can you not like beg for another chance Jimmy: why? Jimmy: not my fucking dad, am I? Janis: Alright but Janis: it didn't need to happen, it was stupid Janis: I won't come in again, feel free to throw this all out Jimmy: neither will I Jimmy: hanging up my apron Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: only Pete's gonna be 💔💔💔 Janis: for getting you sacked, obviously Jimmy: you didn't Jimmy: I did everything he saw Jimmy: & we can use this Jimmy: not quite romeo & juliet levels but the fans will still be 'bout it Janis: Be serious Jimmy: I am Jimmy: think of a good # Janis: Think of how you're gonna deal with your Dad Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: school starts soon anyway Jimmy: I'll take less shifts at the next place Jimmy: & we sorted Cass' problem without having to buy her owt 👍 Janis: That's something Jimmy: it's decent so don't worry Jimmy: my dad'll lose his rag, gimme a smack, I'll do it better & that's that job done too Janis: you don't have to pretend it ain't a problem Janis: one you could do without Jimmy: it ain't yours Jimmy: you don't have to take it on Jimmy: 🤞 we give each other enough bruises to call off family dinner Jimmy: get out of that too Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: just make it look good for the audience Jimmy: I love you so much I risked it all Jimmy: that sorta bollocks Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Sure Jimmy: I'll handle my dad's tantrums Jimmy: not the 1st or last Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: come get the dog for me before he gets back? Janis: Okay Janis: am I bringing her back or starting a new life Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: I'm just hoping if you show up Cass'll forget about wanting front row & go with Jimmy: little lad's a given Janis: right Janis: do my best to be convincing Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: get pics to show how much you love me for getting the sack for you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what you wanna do fucking mope? Jimmy: get it together & do your bit Janis: piss off Jimmy: I literally just told you I don't care if I get in trouble for you Jimmy: so what's your issue? Janis: I care, dickhead Jimmy: then like I said, do your bit Jimmy: don't make it weird Janis: I am and I ain't Janis: God Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & say summat Janis: What do you want me to say Janis: I already did and you ain't listening Jimmy: I heard you, Jasmine Jimmy: but nowt matters Jimmy: it's just a job & it ain't mine now Janis: Fine Janis: shut up, I'm trying to put my shoes on Jimmy: you can't multitask any more? Jimmy: too 💔💔 'bout Pete Jimmy: you can go see him when you miss him, it's alright Janis: 😑 Janis: Jealous Janis: I didn't get sacked, I'm not changing my regular for you Jimmy: get him to make your smoothies Jimmy: let me know whose are better Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll try and remember Jimmy: calling his efforts forgettable before you've tasted 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you would think that Janis: you would think that Janis: ego Jimmy: you said it Jimmy: poor lad Janis: I repeat Janis: 😑 Janis: you know I meant Imma be too busy now you're out the way Jimmy: you mean you're gonna be too busy with me Janis: you reckon Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you said you didn't want me to work as much Jimmy: now I ain't Jimmy: nowt but time for you 💕 Janis: so I planned it, yeah Jimmy: should've Jimmy: but just a happy accident like my birth Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Miss you too Janis: No need now Janis: all that free time Jimmy: see, it's good news Janis: you ain't seen your Dad yet so Jimmy: I know how that's playing out Janis: he's literally going to kill me Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'd never let him Janis: even if you lie why it happened, he's gonna know Janis: or go down there and ask, even worse Jimmy: I'll say it was my other girlfriend Janis: maybe Janis: father son bonding moment Jimmy: shame you don't look more like twins I could drop Grace in it Jimmy: the manager has only seen you like twice though Jimmy: maybe Janis: Twice is enough Janis: gotta have seen her more and it's an insult to reckon even in passing you're making that mistake Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I can feel you making that face for real Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: Me? Janis: You be nice to me Jimmy: I am Jimmy: gonna protect you from my dickhead dad 💪 Janis: Shouldn't have to Jimmy: we saying this is all my fault now Jimmy: is that the story? Janis: No Janis: you don't listen Janis: it's mine, idiot Jimmy: you don't listen Jimmy: I told you, it's not Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: am I coming over right now or what Janis: yeah, I am Jimmy: It don't make you less of a diickhead Jimmy: you're still chatting shit Jimmy: stop Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's why you like me Janis: Mhmm Janis: not 'cos I'm fucked in the head or nothing Jimmy: piss off Janis: nah Jimmy: for fuck's sake Jimmy: just come over Janis: I am Jimmy: don't have to bring your 😍 but gutted 'bout the lack of enthusiasm Janis: What YOU chatting Janis: always 😍 to see Twix Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: she feels it Janis: I know Janis: chat all the time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: she'll be so 💔 I can walk her now Janis: Guard your shoes Janis: heads up Jimmy: tah Jimmy: can't afford to buy more 'cause of 🐶💔 Janis: don't Janis: feel bad enough, fuck's sake Jimmy: you Jimmy: I can't keep telling you it's not your fault Janis: then don't Janis: but literally would not have happened if I weren't there so Jimmy: I want you more than I want that shitty job, alright? Jimmy: so stop Janis: alright Janis: you can get another one easy Janis: yeah Jimmy: you've tasted my smoothies, you tell me Janis: that sounds weirdly filthy 😂 Jimmy: not an answer though Jimmy: I get it, you were faking liking 'em Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shh Janis: you know you're good Jimmy: I know it's hot when you say it Janis: really? you've not been deterred by manager simon or whatever the fuck literally staring open-mouthed like Jimmy: no Jimmy: & if that's your way of dumping me, bit rude Jimmy: coulda done it before he sacked me Janis: told you Janis: all part of my plan to get pete alone Janis: and single-handedly bring CG down, naturally Jimmy: should just go to one of his gigs Jimmy: you know there ain't nobody there but the band Janis: so bitter Janis: art about it, babe Jimmy: I will Jimmy: tah Janis: #muse 'til the end Janis: welcome Jimmy: really gonna miss you when you're Pete's groupie Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I prefer band wife Janis: but gotta start somewhere Janis: it's been real Jimmy: Barry come back Jimmy: the coast's clear & all is forgiven Janis: 😏 Janis: just don't let him impregnate you Jimmy: yeah one baby is enough Jimmy: really should've grabbed it from the CG before I left Janis: put a hat and apron on it it's your replacement sorted Jimmy: taught her everything she knows Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: a girl is it Jimmy: Barry only wants daughters he can warn blokes off of, he's that kinda dad Janis: creepy Janis: you 💕 him Jimmy: he's a decent rebound Jimmy: had the practice Janis: accidental or intentional shade Janis: either way fuck you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: calling my inexperienced Jimmy: nah Jimmy: calling him very experienced at being dumped and picking up dumpees Janis: Hmm Janis: ok Jimmy: & you aren't inexperienced anymore Jimmy: Pete will be 😍😍😍 Janis: no need to toot your own horn that hard either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: do it for me then Janis: Pervert Janis: after that glowing review you ain't getting from CG, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: is that your word of the day? Jimmy: really getting full use Janis: if you wanna stop being one Janis: lemme know Jimmy: any time you wanna shut up, go on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: [bit] Janis: here Janis: bring out the dog/relevant kids Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: idk Janis: hope it's not the worst it could be Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't forget the pics, yeah Janis: I won't Jimmy: alright Janis: call me if you need Jimmy: dramatic Jimmy: call me if YOU need Jimmy: the kids are on one Janis: how is that dramatic Jimmy: I already said, I can handle my dad's tantrums Janis: well excuse me for caring Jimmy: just don't bring 'em back til I let you know Jimmy: if you care so much Janis: I won't Janis: I'm not stupid Jimmy: just me Jimmy: I got that Janis: No Jimmy: what? Janis: You aren't, alright Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you've been calling me an idiot non stop Janis: because I feel like one Janis: don't act like that doesn't make sense Jimmy: it makes sense that you're a dickhead Jimmy: come inside for a sec Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: just gimme one second Jimmy: & then you can go Janis: give me two Jimmy: alright Janis: [has to kiss him first do doesn't say it] Jimmy: [kisses her back really hard 'cause same & holds her 'cause comfort needed bitch] Janis: [Hugs for longer than should like bitch leave] Jimmy: you gotta go Jimmy: I can hear Twix losing it outside Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Janis: [kisses some more then leaves fr] Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: I just need to leave then you can bring 'em back Janis: okay Janis: go to mine? Jimmy: who's there? Janis: Us, currently but by the time you get there we won't Janis: wait for me in the barn Jimmy: okay Janis: do you need anything i can get on my way back Jimmy: just bring yourself Janis: okay Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: nowt I just Jimmy: tah for looking after 'em Janis: 'course Janis: no problem Jimmy: I don't have to give Cass a smack too, do I? Janis: Nah Janis: she was chatting to me when Bobby couldn't hear but she weren't letting on to him so Jimmy: I've text her so she knows Dad ain't murdered me Jimmy: not that there's a rug or owt missing, just me Janis: 👍 Janis: good Janis: gutted not to go true crime detective on it but Jimmy: you'd solve it too fast for it to be a laugh anyway Jimmy: too many clues Janis: true Janis: bit embarrassing, really Jimmy: can you get 🚬 actually? this pack is so light Jimmy: & get the kids 🍬 to soften the blow of not having my company for a bit Janis: my bad Janis: done and done Janis: not getting your Dad nothing Jimmy: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: needs a 🤕 Janis: nope Janis: stick a plaster on it and good luck Jimmy: brutal you Janis: He started it Jimmy: nah, I did Jimmy: losing me job Janis: so? not an excuse Janis: not like he's gotta retrain someone is it Jimmy: he don't need one Jimmy: any will do Janis: hate him Jimmy: #same Jimmy: not a couple brag for them 'gram but decent we've got that much in common Janis: obviously, soz Janis: your da, you actually have to deal with him Jimmy: I try not to Jimmy: got enough on Jimmy: don't let yours see me, yeah Janis: I won't Janis: promise Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I promise not to get blood on you Jimmy: maybe Janis: Jimmy Janis: how bad is it then Jimmy: nowt serious Jimmy: it's happened before so it does the next time, like Janis: I'll fix it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: feel better already me Janis: you will Janis: you know you can stay as long as you need to Jimmy: just not as long as I want Jimmy: Cass'd be fuming Janis: and you'd miss 'em Janis: come on Jimmy: let's move 'em in Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: living with a 6 year old going on toddler & 12 year old going on 22 Janis: Obviously Janis: save the teen pregnancy which has frankly been overdone in this fam so Janis: plenty of empty rooms if you can stand the cunts Jimmy: shame you can't bring Twix though that'd be helpful Janis: I know Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: anyone you know that doesn't have cats by the million? Janis: 'course Janis: my grandparents would take her Janis: can sort anything I can Jimmy: I wish you could Jimmy: for real Jimmy: It's all Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Jimmy: I don't want 'em to see me but I don't wanna just leave 'em with him Jimmy: ever Jimmy: that's not Janis: It's Janis: total catch 22 Janis: he wouldn't do anything like that to them though, yeah? Janis: not saying he's winning dad of the year in the meantime but Jimmy: but Cass is gonna be mad enough to say anything Jimmy: & Bobby's gonna be so scared Jimmy: when are they not Janis: what can we do, seriously Janis: is it gonna be worse if you go home with them Janis: like assumedly Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I just can't go back there right now Janis: You don't have to Janis: ask Cass to be extra nice to Bobby Janis: keep it together 'til you can go back Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's not fucking fair on her though Jimmy: nowt of it Jimmy: some hol this has been Janis: it ain't on you either Janis: that's on him though Janis: it can't even begin to be fair 'til he sorts his shit so Janis: she's old enough to know that Jimmy: I'm not 12 Jimmy: & it weren't like this for me when I was Jimmy: bad but not Janis: Shit's changed and that's out of your control Janis: the more you 'front like it ain't the more you put yourself in the firing line when it's meant to be him Jimmy: it's changed them so much & I Jimmy: someone's gotta take the hit for that Jimmy: he won't Janis: I get it Janis: like, not making it about me but I seriously do Janis: but they won't thank you for it, they'd rather you were at least a little bit fucking alright, you know Janis: they need you like that Jimmy: I'll be alright Jimmy: you're coming to fix me up Janis: Yeah Janis: we will work it out Jimmy: It's good that I met you Jimmy: best thing about being here Jimmy: only decent one maybe Janis: Competition ain't tough but Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the free medical attention coming my way has really elevated this whole girlfriend thing up one Jimmy: full shade to my ex for not coming through when she had her time Janis: Just don't start getting beat up for the attention, yeah Jimmy: with this face? Jimmy: it's my money maker, the rest of living ain't free, sweetheart Jimmy: good thing I don't have to work tomorrow, not looking pretty right now, sorry ladies Janis: You're so Janis: #sorrydorisyoumean Janis: better tell her you've moved so she can follow so you know it's real Jimmy: Pete's gonna have a 9-5 cleaning tables when the mass exodus happens Jimmy: sorry mate Jimmy: give him loads of time to work on his songs though Janis: all the 💔 will help him Janis: make him miss you even more but that's life, baby Jimmy: do you reckon Grace & her mates will believe I'm just on a really long break out back? Janis: 😂 Janis: would if you hadn't been dramatic on the 'gram Janis: their real hunting ground Jimmy: speak of 😈 Mia just liked it Janis: she's so bloody creepy Jimmy: did you see her latest selfie 💀 Jimmy: [sends it] Janis: 🦆 Jimmy: sorta impressive that your sister can find bollocks to comment Jimmy: that isn't like Jimmy: you look like death Janis: #tooreal for any of them Janis: especially Gracie Jimmy: at least her last selfie was alright Jimmy: I could chat shit on that if I had to Janis: go marry her then Jimmy: told you, you don't look alike enough Jimmy: can't be showing up like oops wrong one Janis: 😂 Janis: she would lock me in a cupboard she's got no shame Jimmy: insight into your childhood there? Jimmy: Harry Potter got nowt on you Janis: Yeah right Janis: too early for that shit Jimmy: it don't feel early to me Jimmy: this has been the longest fucking day Janis: You wanna hear my sad childhood stories then Janis: cheer you right up Jimmy: I'm out 🚬 Jimmy: gotta do summat Janis: Mysterious Jimmy: is it? Janis: What are you doing? Jimmy: walking Jimmy: 'cause you live in the middle of nowhere for some reason Janis: tell me about it Jimmy: have you dropped 'em off yet? Janis: in shop, picking their sweets Jimmy: soz Jimmy: you'll be ages Jimmy: it'll feel like a long day by then Janis: yeah Janis: realising Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: you can't Janis: you're a patient Jimmy: I'm bleeding but not to death Jimmy: plenty I can still do 💪 Janis: Shh, save your strength Janis: hard for me too, I know you're gonna look even hotter and it's just Jimmy: fuck your childhood stories, I'm learning shit here Janis: 😳 shut up that's a thing Jimmy: I'll shut up if you keep talking Jimmy: tell me again how hot I am Janis: you know you are Janis: you need me to tell you Jimmy: yeah Janis: I think you're probably the best-looking person I've ever seen in person Janis: people don't just look like that Jimmy: that's bollocks 'cause you look Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: beautiful, alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: I could look at you forever Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: I'll start when you get here Jimmy: you're gonna look at me 😒 when I tell you Janis: tell me what Jimmy: I think I took a wrong turn Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck I am Janis: oh babe Janis: I'll find you Janis: now going yours, finally Jimmy: 🍀 all looks the same Janis: Gonna have to track you Janis: be THAT girl just 'cos you're a liability Jimmy: we can say that's the reason, yeah Janis: Please Janis: if I want you I don't even need to whistle Jimmy: if you want me to piss off you don't have to unclip my lead either Jimmy: just say Janis: I don't Janis: but you can, if you want Jimmy: why would I be lost in the general direction of your house if I wanted that Janis: Just saying Janis: you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: shut up Janis: I just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: I just need you right now Jimmy: so Janis: you've got me then Jimmy: I want you too, you know Jimmy: It ain't just that I got nowhere to go Jimmy: I'd break into the CG before going somewhere I don't want Janis: You don't have to say it Janis: I was just being stupid Jimmy: You aren't Jimmy: & I want to Jimmy: just listen to me Janis: I am Jimmy: yeah we say that Janis: Tell me Janis: whatever you wanna Jimmy: I've never said owt I don't want Janis: Okay Janis: I believe you Janis: sometimes I forget what was fake and what's real Janis: it's all Janis: muddled in my head Jimmy: ask me Jimmy: whenever you wanna Janis: alright Janis: how come you're so sure though Jimmy: you saying I chat shit? bit rude Janis: No I mean Janis: how do you know what I mean and don't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: this could all be bollocks Janis: that don't bother you then Jimmy: you can't fake everything Jimmy: when you're with me I know how you feel Janis: Good Janis: I'm not trying to hide it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: everyone hides shit Jimmy: & chats it Janis: not you though, yeah? Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's loads of shit I haven't said but I'm not lying Jimmy: just not going that far back Janis: that's fine by me Janis: 'cos same Jimmy: don't worry then Jimmy: you know me better than anyone else Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: here anyway Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: I'm not going back so it counts Janis: oh right Janis: 👌 gotcha Janis: my fam would probably like to disagree but no one knows me either so Jimmy: sound more 💔 that you can't get rid of me, girl Jimmy: you should be happy, bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i'm glad i met you too Janis: it's just shit 'cos you don't wanna be here Janis: can't be selfish about it and buzzin', like Jimmy: I don't wanna be there either, not really Jimmy: I don't wanna be Jimmy: any of it Janis: yeah Jimmy: how do your parents get to decide for you how shit your life's gonna be & that's just Jimmy: how it is Janis: they just do Janis: must be in the fineprint for getting to be alive Janis: not arsed, too arsed, whatever, fucks you regardless Jimmy: I'm never having kids Jimmy: good thing I left that one in the CG Janis: same Janis: 'cos what kind of psycho wants the guilt, inversely Janis: like yeah, here's this kid I'm programmed to love no matter what and ahtever the fuck I do, they're gonna turn out fucked or hate me or Janis: nah Jimmy: guilt's good for my 🎨 but I'll be dried up by then Janis: so past it Janis: midlife crisis baby Janis: least women can't do that Jimmy: I feel like a dad of two already Jimmy: who fucking asked me Jimmy: & there's the dog Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Start paying the mortgage and you're fully a single parent Jimmy: with this CV? Jimmy: bollocks to it Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: thank fuck no one needs me Jimmy: let's just go out Jimmy: do summat other people in our year do Janis: cool Janis: puke on me and you're dead, idc how hot you are or how bad your injuries already might be Jimmy: you're the pisshead Jimmy: I can handle myself Janis: fuck off Janis: you chat shit on that, that's your thing Jimmy: what? Janis: You always say I'm drunk Janis: when I ain't Jimmy: I say it when you are Janis: 🙄😒 Janis: agree to disagree Jimmy: I like you when you're drunk Jimmy: & you're a cheap date so 👍 Janis: 😬 Janis: wanna be more creepy Jimmy: piss off you know what I mean Jimmy: you're less of a dickhead Jimmy: it's fun Jimmy: you like me more when you're drunk Janis: do I? Janis: better go get drunk then Jimmy: you have to wait for me or it ain't #goals Jimmy: & my injuries aren't gonna fix themselves yet Janis: you just hoping i got a uniform Jimmy: now I am Jimmy: but no clothes is also fine Jimmy: I'm easy-going like that Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos this is nhs service and you'll get what you're given and be thankful, boy Jimmy: I'll be very thankful Jimmy: you'll see Janis: don't be so Janis: we're meant to be going out Jimmy: we can be #fashionably late Janis: it's selfish but i want you so bad right now Jimmy: no complaints if that's what you're being selfish about Jimmy: actually is a #medicalemergency this time Jimmy: You need to make me feel better Janis: I'm going to forreal Janis: then I'll make you forget about everything that ain't feeling good and me Jimmy: It'll be a challenge Jimmy: it hurts, for real Janis: I know Janis: what's the actual damage you haven't said Jimmy: keeping it a surprise now 'cause you're so into it Jimmy: be a turn on for you Janis: don't make me sound like a psycho Janis: I don't like that you're hurt Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'm not being serious, baby Janis: don't try and sweet talk me now it'll 100% work and I'll be fuming Jimmy: be nice to me Jimmy: I wanna be nice to you Janis: it's my turn, if we're keeping score Jimmy: we're not Jimmy: for tonight we're just Jimmy: doing whatever we want Janis: then let me Janis: you need to relax, seriously Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm agreeing 'cause I'm in pain not 'cause you're right Janis: 'course Janis: we can say that's the reason Jimmy: it's the reason Jimmy: don't be stealing my lines Janis: 😂 Janis: but they're so effective Janis: not annoying at all, yeah? Jimmy: THAT I do agree with Janis: Nerd Jimmy: bit rude Janis: it's easier than being as nice as I wanna Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'll shut up & make it so easy for you Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: that is nice Jimmy: I know Janis: fuck it, tell you when we're drunk Jimmy: you really can't tell me now? Jimmy: any of it Janis: I can tell you plenty you'd rather hear Jimmy: yeah? Janis: I'm gonna make you regret wanting to go out, that's how good it'll be Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: like I said, whatever we want Jimmy: if it's that good, I'll stay Janis: nah, we will Janis: plenty of ways to have a nice time Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: it'll gimme an excuse for why I'm covered in blood that's not my dad's a bellend Jimmy: #thecraic Janis: 😏 and you DON'T wanna encourage my psycho behaviour, sure Jimmy: do you wanna encourage me in cross dressing? 'cause unless you want me to wear your clothes I'm gonna look like a horror flick Janis: 🤔 Janis: no doubt it ain't really crossdressing with my wardrobe Janis: sad times, babes Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're a girl, how many times we talking 'bout this Janis: glad you can tell Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: do me a solid and spread that around Jimmy: get on twitter with your nudes & save me the job Janis: not all as #cocky as you boy Jimmy: you've got every reason to be Jimmy: more Janis: it's different Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: not a serious suggestion Jimmy: not that much of an idiot Janis: you aren't shut up Janis: besides, not taking 🔥 nudes from the roadside for you or tiwtter am Janis: *I Jimmy: you could Jimmy: but don't get arrested Jimmy: can't use all my savings for bail Janis: exactly, too many #risks taken for one day Jimmy: or just the right amount Jimmy: so far Janis: shame Jimmy: that the manager caught us, I know Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the interruption was well rude Janis: yeah Janis: it was Janis: you were Jimmy: he could've let us finish if he was gonna sack me anyway Jimmy: but to be continued I suppose Janis: so spiteful Janis: what did i ever do to you simon Jimmy: you were so close Jimmy: he had to know that Jimmy: give us a minute, lad Janis: don't oversell it Jimmy: don't misremember it Janis: give me some credit Janis: 2 minutes, like Jimmy: I'd have given you loads more Jimmy: didn't wanna stop Janis: Babe Jimmy: ? Janis: you know Jimmy: say it anyway Janis: i'm so Janis: i just need to find you Jimmy: I need you to find me Jimmy: so go on Janis: I'm trying, what do you think I'm doing Jimmy: how do I know Jimmy: not tracking you Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes, i've decided to stop off for a quickie with pete first Janis: hold up Jimmy: distracted easy you Jimmy: also a heartbreaker Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's fault is that? Jimmy: mine & Pete's Jimmy: letting you Janis: if you had any idea how little interest i have in anyone else right now Janis: sad, really Jimmy: I don't feel sad Jimmy: neither do you Janis: not right now Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it not ever? Janis: don't Janis: don't be falling for anyone else yet Janis: i'm not ready Jimmy: you think I have any interest in anyone else myself? Jimmy: I just want you Janis: that's what i'm saying, keep it like that for a while yeah Jimmy: it is like that Jimmy: where do you think your competition is coming from? Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: shh Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you're Jimmy: there's loads of reasons I really like you Jimmy: even if you did get me sacked Janis: bastard 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the flashbacks alone are worth it Janis: i wasn't even Janis: it was all you Jimmy: you were Jimmy: you always are Jimmy: you reckon I was taking the piss out of you for being inexperienced before but you've known what you were doing since I met you Jimmy: you're just Janis: It's not like I'd done nothing it's just Janis: learning what you like Janis: what makes you cum Jimmy: & you're a fast learner Janis: 🙄 Janis: i'm not gonna tell you you're a good teacher Jimmy: either that or I'm a slag Jimmy: easy to turn on & get off Jimmy: either way is fine Janis: don't tell me if it's that Janis: live in ignorance Jimmy: my ex would tell you it's not Janis: some girls are just lazy Janis: expect it to be Jimmy: I didn't make it very easy for her Jimmy: in her defense Jimmy: any of it Jimmy: not just Janis: don't need to say Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I don't wanna fuck this up Jimmy: I'm not ready for that Janis: told you Janis: me either Jimmy: so don't let me Jimmy: I'm a dickhead but I really like you Jimmy: alright Janis: I know both of those things Janis: don't worry Jimmy: keep 'em in mind for a bit Janis: do my best Janis: you will be so distracting though Jimmy: not saying sorry Jimmy: where the fuck am I though? Jimmy: sorry 'bout that Janis: I am taking all possible missteps, find you eventually Jimmy: I have a headache but if you take that to mean that I don't want you to touch me when you do get to me, I'm dumping you Janis: please don't pass out seriously Janis: putting jokes of how dramatic you are aside 'cos I mean it Jimmy: I won't, I mean it, been here before Jimmy: physically but not geographically Janis: Baby Janis: can I kill him Janis: lil bit Jimmy: only if we do it together Jimmy: there's shit I wanna know from him first Janis: #couplegoals Janis: i get it Jimmy: it'll look worse than it is Jimmy: don't be weird about it Janis: I won't, I'm not inexperienced with blood thanks Jimmy: just Jimmy: I know you care Jimmy: but I'm alright Janis: I won't push it Janis: understood Jimmy: ���� Janis: sorry Jimmy: why? Janis: for being weird Jimmy: name a day you weren't Jimmy: it's my top thing about you Janis: you must be weird too then Jimmy: do you think I am? Janis: well this feels like a trick question Jimmy: it's a yeah or nah one Janis: nah, such a normie, you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: a deeper cut than the one on my face Janis: I like you, that's all that matters Jimmy: you gonna show me how much when you find me Janis: try and stop me Jimmy: I'd rather not Jimmy: you said you'd help me relax if I let you Janis: I meant it Janis: doesn't mean self-control isn't gonna be hard for me Janis: but you need gentle Jimmy: you know I hate self control Jimmy: especially yours Janis: take it up with my manager Jimmy: Twix'll be sleeping Jimmy: had a hard day Janis: you too Janis: gotta get you like 😴 Jimmy: what are you on about? It's been great Jimmy: just thinking about earlier at the CG makes me so Janis: so what Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know Janis: so tell me Jimmy: you want me to tell you how turned on I am Jimmy: that I ache for you to come back & finish what we started Jimmy: & I can't breathe 'cause it feels like forever since you touched me Jimmy: but I can still feel it too Jimmy: every time I go there in my head Jimmy: I'm back in the moment & I just Janis: I think I Janis: holy shit Janis: I don't know what I think my head is Janis: you're all I can think about Janis: all the time Janis: and that's so much better than anything else I had to think on before because you're Jimmy: it's the same for me Jimmy: that blowjob you gave me, your first one, was my best one Jimmy: that shouldn't be a sentence I'm saying Jimmy: like you shouldn't be all I think about & want Janis: I can't be sorry Janis: I want to be your best everything Janis: I want you to want me Jimmy: then you've got what you want Janis: swear Jimmy: there's enough blood here for it Janis: good thing I do live middle of nowhere Janis: what would the neighbours say Jimmy: I saw some 🐮s and they were #shook Janis: #haters Jimmy: probably reckoned they were in the abattoir Jimmy: soz ladies Janis: usually the boys that Janis: only need the one Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: teaching me loads today Janis: return the favour Janis: said i'm not gonna say it but Jimmy: there's nowt I can teach you Jimmy: you're Jimmy: just take your row of medals & don't be too smug bout it Janis: okay then let me beat my own record Jimmy: any time Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I need to, I can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: tell me what's going on in your head Janis: I didn't think it'd feel that good, just giving but it was so Janis: I don't know why people complain I'd do that all day Janis: you looked so Jimmy: if you could see how you're making me look now Janis: I'm jealous of the 🐮s honestly Janis: you really are gorgeous and I felt so Jimmy: every time I reckon I can't want you more you chat things that prove me wrong Janis: I can't wait to see you Janis: not 'cos you're lost and bloody and defenseless and I'm a predator like that Jimmy: you kissed me like you were fucking off forever Jimmy: so I need to fix that Janis: well Janis: I planned to but I have the willpower and actual self-control of a fucking crackhead when it comes to you, apparently Jimmy: did you? Janis: bit ott not like gonna-jump-off-a-cliff forever but Janis: i felt really bad Janis: feel Janis: but you said it ain't my fault and i'm chosing to believe that Jimmy: fuck all of that but the last bit Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not wherever the fuck nowhere but Janis: with you Janis: i wanna Jimmy: then just do it Janis: okay Jimmy: you scared me, don't do that Janis: i didn't mean to Jimmy: you can take the dog but my dad would probably notice the others are missing eventually Jimmy: it's just a shit plan Janis: what about you Janis: can i take you Jimmy: where are we going? Janis: supposed to say it doesn't matter because i don't know Janis: anywhere Jimmy: I'd say it don't but I'd rather not come back here Jimmy: the cows are a bit Janis: bovine Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck that means Jimmy: but if it's weird not in the good way my girlfriend is, then yeah Janis: just means like a cow, tbh, like when someone's dead slow and unmoving, bit thick Janis: Mia 'cos she's puking up her brain cells at this point Jimmy: & that girl who follows her round the most Janis: big one? Jimmy: the other 💀 one Janis: ahh, yeah Janis: fucking herd Janis: gracie is just a stupid duckling that imprinted and thinks she's a cow whilst she's waddling after 'em like Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Pete could write a #sick song 'bout that Jimmy: hit him up Janis: ha Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: got shit on my shoe, gotta get the first tweet in Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: good luck getting signal Janis: i reckon i know where you are, work on how you're gonna chat him up for tix so i can sit her front row for the drag of the century tah Jimmy: #willthemiseryeverrelent? Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: maybe we should see a show for real Jimmy: could be a laugh Janis: Yeah Janis: why not Janis: just remember you promised Jimmy: work on our heckles Jimmy: just don't get too jealous of my 😍😍 when they ain't aimed at you Jimmy: what did I promise? Janis: exactly that motherfucker 😒 Janis: no indie bands for you if this is how you're gonna be Jimmy: threesome or nowt, I hear you Janis: with your taste? nowt Jimmy: you love Pete Jimmy: what you chatting Janis: He's the only exception, I've told you many times Janis: special 💕 Jimmy: & I've only got eyes for you & him Jimmy: Barry when I'm wasted Janis: mhmm Janis: likely story, slag Jimmy: keep wounding me Jimmy: near death Jimmy: can't go on Janis: go find a girl with quirky coloured hair to cry on Jimmy: these cows are gonna eat me when I hit the ground so unlikely Jimmy: but a boy can dream Janis: 🖕 they're herbivores, you dickhead Janis: how you like your women too, I'm sure Jimmy: give a shit what they eat Jimmy: cows or girls Jimmy: both are eyeing me all the time Jimmy: like they wanna make something happen Janis: genuinely hate you Janis: so much i'm not walking to the end of this lane, come here if you're not a loitering murderer i'm looking at rn Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: baby, take a step for me Jimmy: go on Janis: don't baby me Janis: you said you'd be nice Janis: 😠 Jimmy: alright, Janis take a step for me Jimmy: please Janis: [Does, a tiny one] Jimmy: [walks the rest of the way up to her & kisses her 'cause well that's just how he do] Janis: [casually covered in his blood, hot, touches where the split is gently and licks her finger after] Janis: let's go clean you up Jimmy: just Jimmy: [has to kiss her again harder cos wouldn't we all] Janis: yeah Janis: now let me be good and fix this Jimmy: You already are Jimmy: let me have Jimmy: [more kisses cos where is the chill on any given day] Janis: I want more Janis: but I don't wanna hurt you Jimmy: you won't Janis: [is kissing his neck 'cos safer] Jimmy: [enjoy his reaction cows 'cos we know he's living for it] Janis: [so many little kisses] Janis: is it just there or are there any bruises I need to miss too Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: which sounds like a line to make you find out but I don't Janis: I'll be careful then Janis: check you thoroughly later, obviously Jimmy: it's a blur now Jimmy: like it didn't happen but obviously Janis: Yeah Janis: you don't have to think about it right now, if you don't want Jimmy: & I feel like I've been walking to find you for half the day Janis: I promise it weren't that long Janis: middle of nowhere and lost though you are Jimmy: I'm just saying I don't know what's my dad & what's how unfit I am Janis: It's alright, can work it out together Janis: and go slow now I've ascertained you aren't bleeding out Jimmy: can we stay here for a bit Jimmy: not ages just Janis: if you've got over your moophobia Janis: 'course Jimmy: you'll protect me Janis: yes baby Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause we all know that was multi-layered chat thank you] Janis: sit down though Janis: [puts her jacket down 'cos remember when yes you do it wasn't that long ago] Jimmy: [sits but pulls her into his lap 'cause obviously] Jimmy: alright Janis: am now Janis: you? Jimmy: am now Jimmy: [is just touching her hair so gently 'cause fave like soz for the state of his hands probably babe] Janis: [motions that he should lift his arms so she can take his top off him carefully 'cos already bloody and uses it to wipe away the blood that has dried around his eyes] Jimmy: [does & tries not to visibly wince cos hard & northern but actually a soft boy so] Janis: [gives him neck and shoulder massages when she's done, as she's putting his top back on Janis: there Janis: might not have got lost if you could see better Jimmy: I'll use that excuse, tah Janis: allow it Janis: and i ain't telling Jimmy: me either Jimmy: twitter don't need to know everything Jimmy: bit of blasphemy Janis: alright Janis: no God in your house, you've told me Jimmy: I'll let the world know what a good nurse you are though Janis: Not letting just anyone bleed on me, you know Jimmy: sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: don't be Jimmy: there's so much Jimmy: [touches her face where some is but like not in a way he technically needs to after a sec 'cos I just have to bye] Janis: just looks it, head injuries always do Janis: you don't need stitches or nowt, I wouldn't be sat here if you did Janis: even if it's Janis: nice Jimmy: if I did I woulda had 'em first time Jimmy: do I need to be worried you're like an expert on head injuries for some reason Janis: 🔪🐰 Janis: told ya Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: you're fucking cute Janis: do that again yeah Jimmy: you don't get to call me cute sitting there looking like that Jimmy: you're Jimmy: being really cute Janis: [makes a dorky face which she means to be ugly but come on] Janis: what about now? Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause can't like he gonna say some extra shit if I don't] Janis: [touches his lips after] Janis: i'm glad you don't have a fat lip Janis: it'd be really hard not to kiss you Janis: i might die Jimmy: I still would Jimmy: that hero 💪 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: but next time I'll tell him Janis: aim lower, right Janis: [points finger gun at his heart] Jimmy: that's your shot not his Jimmy: so be careful Janis: [crosses self, does scout's honour etc] Jimmy: [does a lil lol cos she a cute nerd] Janis: that might be one of my favourite noises you make Jimmy: don't commit yet Janis: i didn't Janis: sensible, me Jimmy: how sensible? Jimmy: you gonna stop me if I Jimmy: [is touching her in some saucy manner excuse you sir] Janis: very sensible Janis: be an idiot to stop you when Jimmy: when? Janis: when I missed you so much Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & moving down her whole body, moving clothes out of his way as best he can 'cause missed her too obvs] Jimmy: what about now? Janis: [casually gripping onto his t-shirt really hard 'cos doesn't wanna hurt him but damn] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm meant to be Jimmy: I said, it's alright Jimmy: [carries on 'cause he's that dickhead] Janis: oh fuck Janis: don't start this somewhere we can't finish it again Jimmy: the cows aren't gonna tell us to stop Janis: so you trust 'em now do you Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: [kisses her on the mouth before we know what's gonna happen oh boy] Janis: just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Jimmy: I told you, you won't Jimmy: trust yourself Jimmy: [starts from the top 'cause there & back at it again at Krispy Kreme] Janis: [starts unbuttoning him 'cos impatient] Jimmy: [likewise with whatever she's wearing 'cause he didn't ask like a phone sex line for once so idk] Janis: I want you so bad you know Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but still like that you told me Janis: feel it some more Jimmy: [does] Janis: Shit Janis: That's so Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I Janis: Please don't stop Jimmy: not now I've started, you know that Janis: yeah but promise Janis: I like it when you promise Jimmy: on what? a cow Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [says that he promises out loud] Janis: [kisses him 'cos back at it again with nothing but ily to say] Jimmy: [lowkey drops his phone & don't even notice 'cause hot] Janis: [Hit 'em with an after 'cos] Jimmy: is it weird that we always type instead of just talking? Janis: probably but Janis: not like we do it when we're alone Janis: and not in public Jimmy: we're alone now Jimmy: are you counting the cows? Janis: yeah, they're people too, they don't need to hear me going all out Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: they heard everything Janis: shh Janis: never happened Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's not 'cause Jimmy: you Janis: what? Janis: are you concussed? Janis: look at me Jimmy: you don't type it 'cause you can't delete what you chat before it comes out your mouth, do you? Jimmy: that's not the reason Janis: does it matter Jimmy: depends what the answer is Janis: then I won't answer Jimmy: that is an answer Jimmy: I'm not stupid Janis: no it isn't Janis: you can't assume that it's in favour of your bias just 'cos Jimmy: if you don't wanna tell me it's 'cause you think the answer is one I don't wanna hear Jimmy: & I know what I don't wanna hear Jimmy: so Janis: I don't wanna answer 'cos you said it mattered so either way Jimmy: self control yeah Jimmy: just edit it a bit Jimmy: I get it Janis: what you being like this for Jimmy: is it real or not? Jimmy: that's why it matters Janis: why would I fake fuck you Janis: what would be the point of that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: you wouldn't but Jimmy: anything else you say to me Jimmy: are you just hitting delete on whatever you wanna say Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: are you Janis: 'cos you seem to be more ready for this conversation than I am Jimmy: I asked you, don't turn it round on me 'cause you don't wanna tell me I'm right Janis: You aren't right Janis: can we go now Jimmy: I suppose Janis: what's the point in asking if you don't believe me anyway Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: didn't have to Jimmy: I didn't mean to Janis: whatever Janis: come on Jimmy: [stops her 'cause boy you gotta fix this excuse you] Jimmy: not like this Janis: you said you ain't got nowhere else to go and i said you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: I'd rather stay here if that's what you reckon me going with you is Jimmy: whatever I've said Janis: don't be dramatic just Jimmy: It's not Jimmy: I care about you, alright Jimmy: that's why I asked Jimmy: & 'cause I trust you & that's not nowt to me Jimmy: it's bigger than like any of the rest of the bollocks of knowing someone Janis: alright Janis: just 'cos I hold back some things doesn't mean I'm lying or whatever you think it means Janis: we're not going that far back, you said, not everything has to be said for the shit that is to matter, does it Jimmy: loads of people have kept loads of shit from me & if you're gonna be another one then I just wanna know first this time that you are Jimmy: but nah I don't need your life story Janis: Well what do you need Janis: 'cos if you're gonna hold it against me when I tell you something later you wanted to know now then Jimmy: I'm not trying to be that dickhead Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: he's never not in my head Jimmy: my dad Jimmy: & that fucks things up sometimes, I know Jimmy: but me, I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: however much I don't know about the whole situation there, I know that Janis: I'm not holding that against you, am I Jimmy: you can Jimmy: I hurt you, you can hurt me Janis: I don't want to Janis: and you didn't Jimmy: a bit Janis: just shut up yeah Jimmy: just let me say sorry first Jimmy: 'cause I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: alright Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he's shit with words & so that's a better sorry] Janis: it's just been a shit day, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but that's not an excuse Jimmy: I don't wanna do that Janis: can be Janis: it's valid Jimmy: I like you too much for that bollocks Jimmy: it's valid that I'm a dickhead & you can hate me a bit Jimmy: nowt else Janis: well I don't alright so stop Jimmy: [takes her hand & holds it] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [drops hand 'cos not over it fully] Janis: can you just Janis: learn how to time this shit better Jimmy: It's not like there's a plan Janis: well this is the second time you've done this basically directly after so Janis: probably think about getting one Jimmy: I Jimmy: how else can I say I'm sorry? Janis: you can't Janis: just warning you, mood killer Jimmy: bollocks can't I Jimmy: come on Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: just wait like five minutes next time, yeah Jimmy: I'm not planning a next time Janis: fine Janis: [starts walking] Janis: keep up Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: are you serious Jimmy: like you said, it's been a shit day Janis: thanks a fucking lot Jimmy: I'm doing you a favor girl Jimmy: the mood's dead Janis: who asked you to Janis: and fuck you Jimmy: you're asking me Jimmy: I can actually read, like Janis: where Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck off Janis: where Janis: I didn't Jimmy: get between the lines Janis: oh, all the stuff I didn't say, yeah? Janis: that's all you're concerned with now Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: no Jimmy: you've said enough to be going on with Jimmy: I made it too weird, it's not on you anyway Janis: Jesus Christ Janis: seriously Janis: just stop, come on Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: what are you doing here? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: & I'm just Janis: What do you mean what am I doing here? Janis: we're Janis: I'm your girlfriend Janis: and not such a shitty fucking person I wanna see you go back to your Dad so he can make your day worse what the actual fuck Janis: how is that not on me, that you'd rather Jimmy: I want you to want me to stay 'cause you do Jimmy: not 'cause he's a fucking dick Jimmy: but now you don't Jimmy: 'cause I'm as much of a dick Janis: how many times and ways can I tell you I do Janis: and you ain't Janis: this is a ridiculous conversation Jimmy: [this boy is lowkey about to cry my soft son] Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: [sits] Janis: [sits with] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm sorry Janis: can't we just agree to forget about it Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos v sad] Janis: Tell me what to do for you, babe Jimmy: don't leave Jimmy: I'm sorry I fucked it up but don't Janis: I ain't Janis: it's alright Janis: I mean it Janis: nothing that ain't fixable Jimmy: so let me know how to fix it Janis: just don't go home Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I don't know why I said that Jimmy: proof that I'm not censoring myself I suppose Janis: I know you aren't Janis: you don't have to, I know I Janis: probably overreact to shit sometimes Jimmy: [actually lols again cos same bitch] Jimmy: me too Jimmy: you said, thank fuck nobody was relying on you or whatever when I was talking about Bobby & Cass before Jimmy: I'm not trying to be a burden of bollocks for you today Jimmy: that's it Janis: [lols with] Janis: You aren't Janis: I was just trying to show I knew I had it easier in that respect Janis: I think Jimmy: I've fucked your day up from getting sacked onward Jimmy: you don't need it Janis: well I want it so deal with it Jimmy: [looks at her with love bitch] Janis: [makes stupid face again like 'what' 'cos cannot deal] Jimmy: [kisses her cos likewise can't deal & will say highkey shit] Janis: Are you ready now? Jimmy: [kisses her again cos cheeky like that] Jimmy: am now Jimmy: are you ready to get drunk with some other dickheads? Janis: as long as one of 'em is you Jimmy: top dickhead me Jimmy: king of Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we need to sort ourselves out first we look mad Janis: bit halloween for april maybe Jimmy: only a bit Jimmy: [takes a quick pic of her so she can see how much blood is on her] Janis: Well, if I didn't love myself before Janis: 😍 Jimmy: I like it but Jimmy: I'm weird Janis: you're embracing it now, yeah Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: for right now Janis: gonna lose it's sting as an insult but Janis: I like it Jimmy: I'll think of a new one Jimmy: it's alright Janis: your creativity knows no bounds, babe Jimmy: gotta stay #goals Jimmy: & keep my muse in a job Jimmy: one of us needs to be working Janis: a suitably #richgirl 'job' Janis: one notch above calling myself an 'influencer' still, thank God Jimmy: if I draw you an artsy nude so you can keep your actual of twitter, will you love me madly again? Janis: perhaps Janis: if you're gonna make me look like an old man then no Jimmy: 👌 it'll be my masterpiece Jimmy: no wrinkles just blood, 'cause your #kink Janis: you like it too shut up Jimmy: could be from Mia's severed head Jimmy: everybody'd like it then Janis: Hot Janis: I'd really love you forever then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: consider it done Janis: [Gets up and puts out a hand to pull him up] Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause he WANNA HOLD IT] Janis: I promised to patch you up Janis: and give you a blowjob, actually so Janis: get a wriggle on Jimmy: you could've got out of that Jimmy: I didn't remember Janis: 💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: I wouldn't forget it once it happened Jimmy: that's the real 💔 Janis: I won't feel sorry for you, boy Janis: the cheek, not to remember everything I say Janis: how un #goals of you Jimmy: you distracted me with a lot of #goals shit you did right here Jimmy: in my defense Janis: I don't know if we're allowing it Janis: I'll consult the girls Jimmy: baby Jimmy: please Janis: You know that actually works on me Janis: how shaming Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear too 'cause he's a dickhead] Jimmy: how do you feel now instead? Janis: I really cannot go down on you right here Janis: I draw the line so stop please Jimmy: [sexy little earlobe moment 'cause he's a shit] Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Um, no you don't Janis: [Pulls him back and kisses him] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: stopping or starting Janis: Your fault Jimmy: I was making you feel no shame Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: Hmm 😑 Janis: you're very Jimmy: do I wanna know Janis: you know you wanna know everything Jimmy: but we should go before it gets properly dark Janis: why, you scared Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: but I do remember you saying you wanted to see me when you were blowing me so Jimmy: not using all my battery on the torch Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: 😏 Janis: suddenly he remembers Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the kiss brought it back to me Janis: not gonna have you claiming amnesia from this Janis: calling bullshit right now Jimmy: 😂 Janis: can't be throwing out that many cliches Janis: even these morons will cotton on Jimmy: me? cliched Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 😶 Jimmy: if they made a flick on my life dickhead's be saying that don't happen Jimmy: #original Janis: send the screenplay in to my little brother then Janis: I'll check it out some time Jimmy: I'll get on that now I got all this free time Janis: man of leisure Jimmy: gonna have to do my homework Jimmy: no excuses Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: ew Janis: i'm not doing it with you Jimmy: come over & we'll say we're doing it Jimmy: 😏😏 Janis: that's more like it, nerd Jimmy: you're a nerd Janis: I am not Janis: 👊🍱💰 Jimmy: [playfully shoves her] Jimmy: the fact you reckon that's the kind of lunch I'm taking Jimmy: sort it out, rich girl Janis: [shoulder barges back but gentle 'cos careful girl] Janis: I was very limited by emojis Janis: and did not stalk you, so Janis: I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: you coulda done 🍕🍞🍟🧀 you weirdo Jimmy: even 🥗 Janis: yeah right 😂 Jimmy: what you laughing for? Jimmy: you coulda even done 🍽 Jimmy: you fucked up, nerd Janis: you don't eat salads Janis: you rude bitch Jimmy: I don't eat whatever the fuck emoji you went with Jimmy: [does a hair ruffle like he's Tess in the past & she's Fraze but he's a pisstaking fool] Janis: it was a box i was aiming for lunch box Janis: 😡 Janis: [does face] Jimmy: [lols again cos she cute] Janis: Don't think you can cute your way outta this Jimmy: what if I'm hot? Janis: wouldn't that be the dream Janis: c'est la vie, nerd Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: I'm in so much pain now Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [kisses him but pulls on his pouty lip] Jimmy: 😳 Janis: So cute Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's cute & hot & the dream bye] Janis: Okay Janis: you're hot too Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: now we've established that, come on Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍

[diabolik-lover-smut-blog]

More than Friends

We all know Laito's preference is the uke girl type then the seme girl. So when you hear tomboy who is more masculine then the girls that Laito has his small flings with it's odd. Laito enjoyed the tomboy's company always coming up with witty comments and savage comebacks to shut down his flirts, which only edged him on further to have this tomboy all to himself. This tomboy was (Name); she was a rebel against the school she stood out easily in the crowd in her boyish appearance but her features were that of a goddess who had a lot of guy's hearts, girls in the school were intimidated by her and some burned with jealously. A typical day for (Name) as she walked the school grounds skipping class as it bored her oh so much, therefore she looked for the perverted playboy vampire who for once was in class which slightly annoyed as her boredom grew "So class as you can see in order to achieve this formula you must used Pythagoras" the teacher said teaching the class. (Name) looked through the window spotting the perverted playboy vampire sitting at his seat boredom written all over his face as he played with his pencil. She knocked on the window softly drawing the attention of the class but she ducked quickly not to be caught by the teacher. Peeping back up, the teacher was facing the class and the vampire looked over smiling happily. She waved him over mouthing 'I need some help' and the teacher turned around and she ducked down yet again so she wouldn’t get caught "Sir, may I go to the toilet. You see I drank sooo much and I need to go" Laito said with a smirk and the teacher sighed and lets him go. He walked out seeing (Name) on the ground lying there arm over her eyes being over dramatic which he found amusing "Tranny-chan? Are you alright?" he asked a little worried but held a playful tone as usual "You take forever" she whined childishly as she moved her arm away from her face and glared at him playfully "hmmm~ I didn't know you missed me so much, maybe I can make it up to you~" he purred holding his hand out for her "Oh Laito-kun, just you being here is enough" she said sarcastically imitating Laito's fan girls "What did you need help with?" he asked with a chuckle at her imitation of his lovely fan girls "Nothing, I was just bored and didn’t want to walk around like a loner" she explained with a chuckle as he hummed in response in somewhat understanding "Oi Laito you doing anything in the school break?" she asked looking at him as they walked out of the school grounds "Nope, as usual" he sighed a little knowing how boring his holidays will be "Wanna hang out sometime, I feel like we need to chill ya know?" she smiled at him "Ahh~ what’s this, is my little Tranny-chan falling for me?" he smirked leaning into her "HA! In your dreams pretty boy, knowing you, you probably do that anyway" she said leaning away from him laughing a little as he clicked his tongue "Did you just call me pretty my I didn't know you thought of me as attractive" he said with the back on his hand on his forehead and his other hand over his heart. By now they were out of the school grounds and in town they were making their way to an ice-cream shop "Yeah so? I ain't blind" she laughed as they grabbed an ice-cream together. Yes even though the two aren't a couple they act very much like it but this love was mostly one sided, Laito was in love with her; while she was the care free go with the flow kind of person. She wasn't into all that relationship things considering her past relationships where they wanted to be serious with her but she loved the life of the party, going out places to hang out more of the friend vibe than the boyfriend girlfriend vibe. Laito was much the same but he really wants to be with (Name) because she was not likes any other girl he's been with, but he wouldn't mind getting serious with her and settle down with her. But who knows what (Name) might choose, when the time comes.

~school breaks~

Laito: Hey Tranny-chan when are you planning for us to hang out?

(Name): Whenever you're free dude, I'm honestly free whenever. Plus don't you need permission from your "dad" Reiji?

Laito: okay technically yes I have to ask him and he's not my dad

(Name): dude chill, it’s just a prank bro. Anyway, dude ask him if we can hang out in town

(Name) waited for his reply as she cleaned her room. She was the kind f person when she's bored she will clean and listen to music and dance around like an idiot which took longer to clean up but that never stopped her "Na na na na na na, na na na na na na Na na na na na na, na na na na na na

I guess I just lost my husband I don't know where he went So I'm gonna drink my money I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope) I got a brand new attitude And I'm gonna wear it tonight I wanna get in trouble I wanna start a fight

Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight" she sang pretending to play the guitar.

Her phone went off and she answered it "Yello?" she said turning the music down a little "Hello? Is this (Name)?" asked a deep voice "Yes it is I, (Name)" she replied "Good evening, my name is Reiji Sakamaki. Laito's older brother, he had just been explaining to me that you had made plans with him to go into town am I correct?" spoke Reiji "Yes, that is right. Is there a problem with that?" she questioned "Not at all (Name), but he must be home for dinner at 10:00, am I clear?" Reiji demanded "With all due respect Reiji Sakamaki, but both Laito and I are young adults 10:00 is a curfew for children. If I may, I shall have Laito back at 2:00 am, I will be sure that he will be in safe hands" she smirked as she spoke through the phone with Laito’s older brother "...Alright but if you are a minute late I will punish the two of you for disobeying. Do I make myself clear?" Reiji said sternly "Alright understood. Does Laito have any commitment for this week? I had asked him that I am available whenever he is, unless you plan to have family fun time?" she held back a small laugh "No, he's free. We do not do that "family fun time" nonsense" he said rather annoyed by her statement "Thank you Reiji Sakamaki for being so understanding" she said which came out sarcastic Reiji hummed and gave the phone to Laito who was standing by his side listening into the conversation "I'm impressed Tranny-chan, you managed to convince my older strict brother to a curfew of 2:00am, bravo~" he smirked as he complimented her "What can I say, I just have a way with men" she laughed along with Laito "So when are you thinking of hanging out?" Laito asked curious as to what she had planned for them "Well it's Thursday so~ Friday or Saturday is good and I was planning just walking around town I don’t know maybe catch a movie I don’t I say let’s wing it" she laughed "hmmm I don't have anything planned, so both days either way is fine" he chuckled a little "Alright Friday it is. Just send me a text whenever you're ready, I'll rock up and you better bring money because I ain't gonna pay for your rich ass" she laughed. She was well aware that he is rich and he had his own money so she did want pay for him because she didn’t see the point in it really "Oh alright I'll bring some money. So I'll see you on our date~" he smirked waiting for her reaction "OI IT'S NOT A DATE-" before she could yell at him Laito had hung up on her as he laughed "That little shit" she muttered as her cheeks flared up but she couldn't help but smile.

(Name) and Laito have been going out to town having fun and enjoying each other's company, but poor Laito was falling more for her as the days passed by. (Name) oblivious to his feelings for her continued to treat him like any other mate of hers, Laito knew this and that's what annoyed him the most. School break was finished and it was backed to the same old routines, going to class learning boring things and having a few fights here and there. But the two still hang out with one another which caused trouble for the two, (Name) for having girls sending death threats and Laito for have men confront him about touching "their (Name)". Laito was walking with (Name) as they talked as they ate their lunches "Has anything interesting happen lately?" he asked flashing her a small smile "Nah, just your fan girls wanting to pick a fight with me but backed down when I challenged them. Honestly Laito Sakamaki you have the worst taste in women" she laughed punching his shoulder lightly "Ah yes but they are not really my type to be truthful" this sparked her interest a little "Oooo so what is your type? I always thought you like those submissive girls that would date you with tip of your fedora" she laughed a little "I'm not sure myself, normally I prefer the submissive but its gets boring when they don't put up a fight" he sighed. "I understand, sometimes you have to spice things up, HA! Am I right" she laughed holding her hand in the air for a high-five. In a flash Laito had her pinned to a wall at the back of the school where they hangout, it was their spot that no one knew where they were. "LAITO!" she yelled her back hit into the wall, knocking the air out of her "I'm sick of this... I will make you mine. You will submit to me" he growled tightening his grip "Knock it off Laito this isn't funny, so lay off would you" she growled back trying to break free from him "That is something I cannot do Tranny-chan. I'm hurt that you think I'm joking when clearly I'm being serious" he said dangerous close to her face. (Name) stared at him closely. She didn’t know what to say or do she was frozen. His emerald eyes captured her in a trance his reddish-brown hair in his face his fedora laid perfectly on his head. She felt powerless as Laito started to lean into her further, she felt her heartbeat quicken. Laito could tell it was beating fast which made him chuckle as he proceed to lean into her neck ready to bit into her but she managed to shake him of "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" She yelled pushing his off causing him to stumble back "Fufufuf~ don't you get it I want you, and I always get what I want" he purred pinning her again having regained his balance "LAITO! GET OFF ME NOW!" She snapped pushing him again "Not until I get what I want. And what I want is you" he said seriously and bit into her neck. (Name) gripped onto him trying to throw him off but he was too strong for her, she waited for the awaiting pain of him drinking but nothing happened, at first she thought he was just toying with her. He pulled back licking the blood that surfaced on her neck "Now you're mine" he smiled as he looked at his work done on her neck "YOU BASTARD!" She yelled angered and punched his face hard. Grabbing her hand from the pain and he was hit pretty hard his face faced the other way as he cast his eyes at the floor. She was muttering swears from the pain in her hands then she glared at him harshly her hand still I pain "Look at me and listen close because I won't repeat myself" she growled as he faced her with pain in his eyes and fear that he made her hate him "All you had to fucking do was just tell me how you felt...I would have happily gave you a chance... I'm willing to give you a second chance but as soon as I catch you playing me for your own pleasures I won't hesitate to kill you. Got it" she growled venom dripping from her words "Understood" he felt his smile rise on his face as he hugged her she hugged back awkwardly "Can I get a kiss?" He asked with a small purr in his voice "Fine but don't go telling everyone alright" she tsked and gave him a quick peck he pouted at her as she kissed on the cheek "I said a kiss and that's all you're getting" she said sitting down to eat lunch he joined her happily eating his food “Seriously man, I thought you were smooth in confessing to people you like” she laughed “But those girls I didn’t really like, you know I thought it would have been easier but you aren’t like others girls so I kinda panicked and just became forceful” he explained truthfully “Hey I never said I hated it really I was just shocked…and sorry for punching you it was just a reflex” she blushed softly “I keep that noted to warn you when I’m going to do something” he laughed with her