#“i did WHAT”

[kingarmorking]

"(simba voice) moooom! mom you're messing up my mane!"

i dont know where this takes place in that au but the image Would Not leave my mind so here we are @tharkflark1

There were many things that Yozora expected when he woke up that morning. Training with his dads, maybe going off world with either of them or Aegis and Magia or maybe it would’ve been a quiet day! Just a day for himself to wander around Quadratum. That was thrown out the window when he saw a news broadcast of a monster, looking eerily similar to the heartless his dads talked about fighting, and then the headline stated, “Young man with a giant key fights off the monster that appears in downtown Quadratum!”

So… yeah he was with a younger version of his dad now. Sora was staying with Strelitzia and they were working on a way to get him back to his own world. That he could do. Sure a wrench or two were consistently being thrown into that plan when the younger version of Riku then showed up followed by his actual dads coming back from where they were off world! But that he could handle! Kind of! He was handling it just fine. What he could not handle… was the younger version of Riku in his spirit form.

Now… his pa (Sora) had told him that dad (Riku) had some trouble controlling the form when they were younger. He wasn’t sure when his dad had gotten a better grasp on it so the few times he’d seen the form growing up, he was in control of his actions for the most part, there were few things that he’d do that pa would embarrass him about later (though he would still find a way to without a doubt)

He’d woken up like normal, after that mess had been settled, terrible bedhead and all that caused it to spike up in random directions. Noise from outside had caught his attention and upon exiting he saw the younger Riku in his spirit form. Again not a big deal but the second Riku’s star-shaped eyes locked with him, Yozora felt the deep rooted instinct of fight-or-flight flare up and he turned to run back inside because where was Sora, why was Riku in his spirit form- he was bowled over none too gently by the giant komory bat dream eater.

He felt the rumbling in Riku’s throat as he nuzzled his back and let out a pained huff, “Okay, Riku I get it, you’re happy to see me, which… better than the alternative… but can you please get off me you’re so much heavier than Meow Mori!” he groaned.

Riku, to absolutely no one’s surprise, did not listen to him. Because why would he like this, Sora was the only one who he’d listen to and Sora was still no where to be seen! A chuff of air further mussed his hair and he rolled his eyes, twisting his body to say something else when a tongue dragged across his forehead up to his hair. Wha… oh hell no, don’t tell him…!

“Riku! I don’t need a bath!” his petulant protests went unnoticed as Riku continued grooming his future child.

The only saving grace was that Aegis and Magia weren’t present because they’d never hear the end of it and then he’d be minus two friends. He continued trying to get out of Riku’s grip, only freezing when he heard muffled giggles from behind him. He craned his head backwards and was greeted with the sight of the older Sora, pa, trying and failing to contain the snickers escaping from his mouth.

“Not… a word.”

“But Zozo!”

“But nothing pa!”

Pa covered his mouth, more muffled giggles coming out at the sight of the predicament Yozora was in as Riku’s tongue made his hair, arguably worse honestly, “Riku! You’re messing up my hair!” he groaned. Pa’s laughs were finally too much and he doubled over, holding his stomach. His dad laughing was fine, this was still better than-

“Aww baby dream eater’s bath time by daddy dream eater~!”

Two sets of laughter joined pa’s and Magia’s voice rang out clear, Yozora briefly wondering if he could suffocate himself in Riku’s mane. Finally he got one arm free and he frantically pat at Riku’s arm, “Okay, okay I’m clean! I’m clean!” he wriggled the rest of his body free and made to smooth his hair out. Once that was done he took a quick calming breath, spun on his heels and materialized his sword and crossbow, aiming them at his two, soon to be, ex-friends. Aegis and Magia both froze, wide grins still on their faces.

“Run.” all three said simultaneously, Aegis and Magia to each other and Yozora’s only warning before he ran after them. Pa could handle Riku’s spirit form for the time being, he had two friends to kill.

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[unforth]

Y'all I know that when so-called AI generates ridiculous results it's hilarious and I find it as funny as the next guy but I NEED y'all to remember that every single time an AI answer is generated it uses 5x as much energy as a conventional websearch and burns through 10 ml of water. FOR EVERY ANSWER. Each big llm is equal to 300,000 kiligrams of carbon dioxide emissions.

LLMs are killing the environment, and when we generate answers for the lolz we're still contributing to it.

Stop using it. Stop using it for a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. We need to kill it.

Sources:

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[bahoreal]

obsessed with this

[bugbuoyx]

i made tumblr pride flags! feel free to ask for more edits

[foccaccia]

the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth

[jabberwick]

Human Bill Cipher

(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)

And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[julnites]

Red riding hood comic collab with the wonderful @yeehawpim (go check out their blog for loads of great comics!) 🌷 See the layouts he did here!

[rotisseries]

that being said I'm not actually always opposed to conflict free fluff I am just opposed to the characters having their claws filed down for it. you can stick them in a coffee shop au it should just still feel like you sat the two worst most insane people on earth in a starbucks

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[crustaceousfaggot]

No nuance allowed. Put your nuance in the tags, I just want a yes or no answer

[hinamie]

10 years later

[wanologic]

sorry danny, sam will never think you’re cool