#this post sucks

[crustaceousfaggot]

No nuance allowed. Put your nuance in the tags, I just want a yes or no answer

[uncommon-loon]

I'll admit, jumpscaring an entire country is a rather bold marketing strategy, but im still not going to see the new Five Nights at Freddy's movie. Sorry.

[wolfertinger666]

yeah my autism does speak, it says: *munch munch* <- me munching on carrots cuz I'm a bunny

[systemdeez]

You couldn't release the Gameboy today. You'd have to call it the Gamegirl. Because of feminism. This post is bad.

[estrogenpatchnotes]

"I have altered many fates in this new universe in order to maintain peace. this is why I have made Johnny Cage into what you earthrealmers call a chaser"

[wildeyed-freecloud]

guys have this glass. it's of milk. from a cow.

[insanityrat]

Starlo doodles that get progressively unhinged

what am i doing with my life?????

more under cut just so the post isn't too long

no on tell him what the wild west was actually like

[footlongdingledong]

the fact that getting beheaded kills yoi immediately is kindof a bad design in our part. “Ah yea yer humN body it can endure deadly toxins and blistering heats and big iron ball to the chest but if someone does a whoopsie to your funny boneless head stick you die badly” what to hell

[sarioh]

she hop(per) on my c(l)ock til i pulse...

[hemipenal-system]

merry christmas to those who celebrate. have some debauchery on the house.

✨ reindeer post-job shenanigans ✨

it's a long night for everyone, and the whole sleigh crew gets back cold, hungry, and exhausted. they just need something nice to lift their spirits, you know? here's how you can help each of them, should you find yourself into a position to do so:

✨Dasher ✨ - usually gets delegated all the leadership jobs when Rudolph isn't there, and returns obscenely stressed every single year because of it. she's really not cut out for this job, but her name comes first in the lineup so she's stuck with it. she probably won't even want anything really, just snuggle up to her and tell her she did a good job – she needs to hear it. put on a movie or something, make a warm dinner, and put your arm around her and pepper her with gentle kisses. she'll fall in love.

✨ Dancer ✨ - limitless ball of energy. she spends the night entirely just hyping Dasher up enough to do her job, and she's still absolutely pumped afterwards. whatever position you end up in, she's probably doing all the work in an attempt to tire herself out, but she never seems to be able to. do some stretching first, it's gonna be rough and hard and will probably leave you gasping and bruised, but she'll be reassuring while she rails you senseless.

✨ Prancer ✨ - doesn't really want to be there either, but is fine with it. really is just chill as hell. she likes to show off her partners, so expect to be displayed on a pretty leash or railed in front of the others fairly often. she also tends to be down for whatever on your own time, so if you suggest something she'll probably try it out with you, in front of everyone, of course, since she just likes to be around you (and in you. preferably in you.)

✨ Vixen ✨ - she may be the most overtly feminine one on the crew, but don't be fooled by that. her job requires strict discipline, and she'll hold you to the same standards, whether it's brusquely making sure you've eaten enough and hydrated that day or it's learning three new commands a session and practicing all the previous ones until you don't even have to think about it anymore. when you say that makes you feel like an animal, she smiles and says it's hotter that way. lean into it for her.

✨ Comet & Cupid ✨ - they do pretty much everything and everyone together, and you're no exception. they may both be goofballs who can't stop joking around the entire time, but that won't make it feel any less good for you. whether it's both ends or both in one, they will both be involved at once, and it occasionally does get competitive as they fight to see who can make you enjoy it more. really, they're here for your pleasure, so don't be afraid to tell them what you like and they'll try to do it!

✨ Donner ✨ - scary as shit. like, fur dyed black, horn piercings, threatens to crush elves under her hooves if they get in her way scary. she will most likely seem initially standoffish to you and graduate to just being fully mean. if you cry during it, she will find that attractive and keep doing whatever made you cry. multiple safewords are almost definitely a must if you like any form of cnc so she can casually ignore the first one. you will have to tell her every time you fuck to put her knife collection away. you're pretty sure she has murder charges. she might cry afterwards though. just hold her and tell her you had a good time and she didn't hurt you that bad. affection is hard for her.

✨ Blitzen ✨ - spends a significant amount of time blitzed and is also absolutely massive. if you ask her nicely she will shotgun weed with you. she'll actually probably do it if you don't ask either, just be careful kissing her before you end up higher than the sleigh. very very into having you sit in her lap, she loves how surprised people get when she stiffens under them. she knows her size, and she's really gentle, but it's still a lot, so just be safe. she understands if you can't fit her, but that's ok! she'll be plenty chipper regardless! aftercare for this is probably gonna be a warm bath or some kind of massage to put your guts back where they're supposed to be. she's also the switchiest, and would probably enjoy being tied up by you or by her teammates. (especially bc she's so much larger than them it's the only way they can handle her) good luck.

✨ Rudolph ✨ - very confident as the team leader and nowhere else. he spends most of his time hiding from the girls when they're not pulling the sleigh, not because he doesn't like it but because he has actual jobs that aren't taking reindeergirl cock to the base 24/7/364 and he literally doesn't have time for all of them. he'd be happy if you'd take some of the strain off him, and would find some innovative ways to reward you if you asked.

[wowwforever]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_Of_People_For_Whom_The_Bell_Tolls

[lesboysilver]

yeah my new sonic oc Safe the Work theyre an OSHA representative

[habitsbf]

lame thing i made for today. i hope everyone reading this had a good valentines day ^_^ ♡

lmk what you did to celebrate! or if you got any cool gifts! i was gifted a new knife today :D 🔪

[peach-pot]

did you know that your clothes can become pink if you invest in pink dye. to learn more google how to make a bomb.

[redtyn]

what are titties im a verbal learner btw ;)

[perthstuck-beyondcanon]

guys dua lipa is here holy shit she just said she loves homestuck yooooooo her trollsona is sick