#“like-a so” is always keralis in my head

[artsy-book]

there are certain words/phrases that i can only hear in cc voices

[evilrat-sabre]

A knock at the window

I got inspired and wrote a tiny horror ficlet about Keralis and the evil copy of his roommate (:

This is a gift for my friend @mawofthemagnetar

This was also posted on AO3

There is a banging on his window. Keralis tries to cover his ears and face with his pillow to no avail, as the banging only gets louder and louder.

“I have work in the morning, Papa K needs his beauty sleepy.”  Keralis grumbles under his breath, getting up from his bed. He opens his bedside table, one drawer and then the other, and pulls his little secret out.

Putting his bunny slippers on his feet, he drags himself to his closed window, he peeks from behind the curtains and sighs loudly. It's him again.

Keralis puts a tired hand on his face, he isn’t sure how many times this happened this week and it's only Thursday! 

Princess is getting worried with his growing eyebags, making comments here and there that Keralis is finding each day harder to ignore. Maybe in the morning he should ask Tango for some makeup tips.

He is so sick of this.

The blue eyed man grabs the lock on his window that he installed so many weeks ago, and in quick motions taps the password unlocking the window. He opens it, the frigid 2AM breeze hits his face as Keralis stares at the figure waiting by his window.

“Thank goodness! Keralis I am freezing out there, can you unlock the door for me? Please? I forgot my keys.” The figure covered in shadows exclaims.

“Shiswam…” Keralis makes a tisk tisk sound with his mouth. “Again? This is the third time this week, I sink.”

Xisuma scratches his neck awkwardly. “Sorry my friend, you know how much of a derp I am. I just wanted to grab some fresh air and ended up stuck outside again. If you let me in I promise you it will not happen again.”

Xisuma’s face is shadowed by the darkness, but Keralis can see how his eyes squint into a smile.

Keralis sighs again. “Shishwam… you know I can't do that right?” He tilts his head almost owl-like, looking at the figure standing by his window. As he stands there, Keralis pulls the catch on his secret weapon, and starts to slot bullets into it.

“Why not? We have been living here for years now. Come on, Keralis, don't be cruel to your roommate! Is this about last night’s dinner? I swear it wasn't my intention to eat all the pasta! It was an accident. I can always make more if that is still bothering you.” Xisuma sounds earnest.

“Oh, Shiswamy.” Keralis sounds sad, there is a click as he disables the safety of his pistol, and he points it at Xisuma's head. “We both know that wasn’t the problem. I am so sorry, but Shiswamy is sleeping right now.” 

He stops talking, hearing the shallow breath coming from the room next to his, Xisumas's CPAP being a white noise he got used to ignoring, but in times like this is a grounding cable to reality.

Xisuma Looks tense at the pistol, his eyes glinting red even in the darkness of the night and his expression sours as Keralis keeps talking. “Now I need, as Bubbles would say; go to shreep. So please Shiswan, go away.” He asks softly, waving his free hand in a go away motion.

Xisuma scoffs, turning in his heels, vanishing in the forest that surrounds their house.

A thunder cuts the clear night sky, hitting a tree far away. Keralis breathes shakily, trying to calm his beating heart, closing his window, changing the lock's password again, before re-engaging the safety on his pistol. He pulls the catch and picks the bullets out, to be safely put away. That done, he puts it back in his sleeping robes’ pocket and walks back to his bed.

Xisuma breathes loudly in the other room. And the comfort of knowing he is safe and unaware of the darkness of the night, lulls Keralis back to a restless sleep.

[simplydm]

what are your for realsie thoughts about new members for season 10? in my head truly the only two people that make sense to actually add are joel and skizz. and maybe like a third more wildcard of a person that’s not expected and less known or something. but yeah joel and skizz are it to me, no one else makes sense in a non-fan service way in my opinion. what do you think?

Hm, that’s an interesting question. I feel like Joel would be a good choice (and Lizzie too maybe? In my mind they should never be separated loll) since he has been on the server a bunch and is clearly an incredible builder. Sausage maybe, although I feel like he tiptoes the line of being well over PG 13 most of the time (which is always funny to me, but I feel like hc still tries to at least somewhat [keralis] maintain a family friendly atmosphere). In my wildest dreams, Skizz is added.

Otherwise, I would love to see more smaller creators added, although I’m not quite sure who. In reality I haven’t been around for many Hermitcraft seasons, so I’ve only seen them add members once, and gem and pearl are SUCH a good fit. It must be a very hard to choose and decide. I almost wonder if they won’t add anyone, just because there are still a lot of active hermits, or, at least, I feel like there are.

I think, also, there’s been a bit of a change in that hc9 saw a lot more “outsiders” coming for visits, from the empires crossover to the mc devs to DO2 runs. I wonder if that will change how/if hc adds new members, and if there will continue to be a somewhat open policy to let friends visit. It’ll be interesting to see, either way.

[aquaquadrant]

Thinking about the fact that in both worlds XB and Keralis find each other. Could you tell us more about Papa AI's and BX's relationship? Like it's implied/kinda stated that AI took BX from the arena saving him/getting a very loyal follower. Does AI really care for BX and vice versa?

OHOHOHO, i’m so glad you asked, my friend. alisker and bx’s backstory is something that doesn’t really have much relevance to the main plot of HTP, and likely won’t even come up except in little hints here and there, but i couldn’t resist developing it anyways so y’all are in for a treat 😂

bx was indeed a gladiator at the arena- an unwilling one, i might add. he was captured when he was fairly young (older kid/younger teen) after an unfortunate death put him at spawn at just the wrong time, and forced to fight for the entertainment of hels’ most wealthy and powerful denizens. bx quickly took to it, however, becoming a skilled and vicious fighter. as the years passed, he ascended the ranks until he was put up against the arena’s reigning champion; helsknight.

bx lost that fight, badly, respawning back in his cage (all gladiators were forced to set their spawns with respawn anchors, so dying in the arena wouldn’t set them free). to his surprise, he had a visitor; the newly self-appointed head of new helington, alisker.

alisker was a young business mogul who’d made his fortune in diamond mining (some say his extra eyes granted him the ability to see through stone- or perhaps he was just lucky) and built a thriving crime syndicate from it, ruling the city with an iron fist. as any player in the upper class, alisker had attended these gladiator fights and taken a shine to bx. he bought bx’s freedom from the arena- on the condition that bx work for him.

bx accepted the deal, but it wasn’t necessarily a happy arrangement. he didn’t mind the type of enforcement work he did for alisker, but his years of gladiator fighting had left him wary, distrustful, and borderline feral. he was also hiding a pretty significant secret; he was a guardian hybrid. out of water, there was nothing about him to give it away, and that’s how he liked to keep it. he knew his fellow hybrid gladiators were seen as less than human by some, and he didn’t want to jeopardize his newly found freedom.

when or how exactly they got together, i’m not sure. i will say that their dynamic initially wasn’t the healthiest, considering the power imbalance between them, but it wasn’t bad in terms of hels standards. alisker was patient and very clear about his intentions, and eventually bx let down his walls. alisker figuring out bx was a guardian hybrid happened by accident (a mishap with a water elevator) but his reaction was what convinced bx that alisker could be trusted; alisker assured bx that it didn’t matter, and promised to keep his secret. and since then, alisker has earned bx’s unending loyalty and dedication.

things did get a little complicated when alisker met atlas and started funding hels tek. at first it was just ordinary redstone contraptions and farms, but then hels tek started looking towards hybrids as an infinite resource. clearly, this posed a threat to bx. but alisker decided to continue funding atlas’s work because it was the best way to keep a close eye on him, and ensure his search for hybrids never came close to bx (as well as communicate that bx was off limits). after all, the best way to control potential threats is to have them under your thumb.

overall, i’d say that alisker and bx care for each other as best as any two players in hels can. it might not always be the most wholesome or healthy relationship, since neither of them really know what that looks like, but they love in their own way and they’d defend each other to the end. because if alisker is going to ever be the ‘king’ of hels, he needs his queen by his side.

(keralis calls xb ‘princess’, alisker calls bx ‘queenie.’)

[dmwrites]

It wasn’t like Zedaph to ever pay attention ever. He lived in a hole in the ground, did totally ethical science, and only left his home to find a resource he didn’t already have. Needless to say, it took a man literally crashing into him full force to figure out that something weird had happened on the Hermitcraft server.

“ZED! Holy s- crap!”

Zed turned around just in time to be knocked over by some blue and black thing.

“Ah! Please don’t hurt me, I’m only here for greenery!” Zed said. “Oh, wait, hello xBcrafted!”

xB was kneeling beside him on the ground, eyes wild. “Oh my gosh, Zed, you have no idea how good it is to see you!” xB helped him to his feet and put a hand to Zed’s face, eyes still wide but now with an almost desperate look in them.

“Are we about to kiss?” Zed asked.

xB took his hand away and laughed, eyes crinkling up. “My god, Zed, you sure are something else, I feel like I’m talking to Keralis.”

Zed chuckled. “I’ll take that as a compliment. So, why are you so excited to see me, of all people? And how have you been- oh! You should come in my hole, we can do a Zedvancement together!”

xB gave him a funny look. “Well, I’ve mostly been worried about where everyone else could have gone to in that rift.”

“Rift? What rift?” Zed frowned, racking his brain. “Oh, that rift thing in Grian’s basement? What, did it do something?”

xB raised his eyebrows. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What?”

“Zed, where are we right now?”

“The shopping district.”

“And does anything seem… different here?”

Zedaph hummed, looking around. He always liked a puzzle. “Well, it is awfully quiet. Where is everyone, anyway?”

xB stared at him expectantly.

“Wait…” Zed turned on the spot in Cub’s shop, where they could see almost the entire shopping district. “Didn’t there used to be giant signs blocking some of the buildings here?”

xB put his head in his hands. “Zed.”

Zed huffed. “Don’t worry, xBcrafted, I will solve your riddle!”

“Everyone’s gone, Zed!” xB exclaimed. “It’s quiet because everyone’s gone! They all went through the rift- didn’t you get a compass?”

“You know, I did get a compass. It had coordinates on it, right?” Zed said slowly.

“Yeah!” xB replied.

“Oh, well, i thought it was a gift from someone, and put it in my hall of all, since I didn’t have one yet.” Zed laughed. “I guess the numbers being coordinates makes a little more sense!”

“Zed. I thought I was alone on this forsaken server. Started talking to… myself and everything. You’re the first person I’ve seen in like a week, dude!” xB said. “And you’re… you! The rift, I saw the hermits, like a whole bunch of them, going into the rift! We have to figure out where it goes!” xB took Zedaph by the shoulders. “I can’t be alone anymore, Zed. Please stay with me?”

Zed looked into xB’s eyes, saw the pleading and perhaps a bit of fear, too.

“Sure, xB. I love science, after all.” Zed said. “I can even get us lab coats.”

So, they set up at Grian’s base. The rift had changed since Zed had been in the basement to spy on Grian. It was darker now, weird and glitchy. xB and Zed spent the next few days just studying, testing, theorizing. Zed slept in a small room he’d found in one of the floating boulders. xB slept in the boulder covered in skulk, saying it almost felt familiar to him.

It was odd, to work so closely with someone else. Both he and xB were more of the independent types, but they got on quite well together. xB had a wealth of information about the rift, mostly from the security cameras that Zed did not ask about. They often worked late into the night, Zed usually turning in first, leaving xB still staring at the broken rift.

Perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised him that xB went in. xB was more… involved then Zedaph was. He was the one who would always mutter about finding a way in, the one up late and early just staring at the thing. And yet, it was surprise that Zedaph felt when he woke up one morning and went down to the rift, only to find a note on the loadstone in front of it that read “went in. sorry.”.

Zedaph consulted his notes worriedly. The rift still looked the same, still glitched and dark. It wasn’t fixed by any means, and they’d agreed that going in could be dangerous. Maybe it would lead to the other hermits, maybe. But nothing was known for sure. And it was then that Zedaph, for perhaps the first time, really and truly felt alone. He’d been alone before, but always on his terms. Now he knew there was no one. Well, assumed there was no one. But it wasn’t a long elytra flight to prove it.

Days passed, and Zed wondered if he was living the same timeline as xB had. How much longer until he started talking to himself? How much longer until he went in the rift himself out of desperation? It seemed impossible that everyone had gone, impossible that he was the only one left. He kept looking, thinking he’d find them all giggling in some tiny hole in the ground, watching him suffer.

It’s always the last place you check where you find what you’re looking for. And as soon as the whoosh of Beef’s nether portal cleared Zed’s ears, he heard what he had been straining to find for days. Someone humming to themselves.

“Oh, hey Zedaph! Nice to see you!”

Zed stared in shock at VintageBeef himself, who was sorting through some cards, completely at ease, in his own world out on the ocean.

“You’re here!” Zed gasped.

“Well, yeah, where else would I go.” Beef joked.

“I forgot you were here.” Zed whispered, horrified.

“Ah, well, you know how it is. Everyone forgets about good ol’ Beefers. I am kind of out in the middle of nowhere.” Beef chuckled.

“Well, now you’re the most important person in my life, Beef, because it’s just us here.” Zed said.

Beef frowned at him. “What does that even mean, Zedaph?”

“There’s- okay, do you know about Grian’s rift? That huge portal thing in his basement?”

“Hm, you know, I think I saw it once, yeah.” Beef nodded.

“The hermits all went into it. I don’t know what called them to walk into it, but I just lost xB to it too. And I thought I was all alone here. Beef, I need your help. We have to find them or get them out or something.”

Beef looked down at the paper in his hand and then back up at Zed. “Well, if there aren’t any other hermits around, my game won’t get played. So of course I’ll help you.” Beef chuckled, but stopped when he saw Zedaph not doing the same. “Are you alright, Zed?” He held out his arms, and Zed rushed into them.

“I just am glad I’m not alone.” Zedaph said quietly. “Im glad you’re here.”

[stitchthesewords]

For Laurie @oh-snapperss for voting for my beloved captainsparklez, I give you - Ethubs fluff

---

The house was impressive to Etho, but the same was true of everything Bdubs built. He watched the windmill go around until the sight of the man himself caught his eye. God was the moss cloak and instead he wore a snazzy button up vest and shirt. Etho felt a smile come to his face.

“All dressed up for me?” he asked, pulling Bdubs into a brief kiss as he made his way to him.

“I’ll have you know I’m all dressed up always, thank you very much,” Bdubs said in his usual boisterous voice. Etho hummed happily and nodded his head, though he wasn’t sure if he was agreeing or just happy to hear Bdubs’s voice.

“I’m not used to you being gone for so long.” Etho let Bdubs take his hand and lead him down the path and into the home; small though it was, it was well decorated and it was very clear that Bdubs knew how to use the space.

“I haven’t been gone that long! You disappear for longer all the time!” He looked at Etho over his shoulder and grunted as he ran into something. He turned back to glare at the block that dared to get in his way as Etho began amazed wandering through Bdubs’s abode.

He was quiet for a moment before he turned to look back at Bdubs and grinned. “So, what’re we calling this, huh? Pretty…gears? Conveyor belts?” he asked with a snort. Bdubs joined him in the chuckle, coming up to his side and locking their arms together.

“Something like that. But you should see what Zedaph and Tango and Scar and Keralis all did – Trains, Etho! Giant steam factories – houses on wheels or made of this – wild spinning cube. This is nothing,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. Etho looked around the room and shook his head.

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me,” he said, pulling his mask down only briefly to sneak a kiss on Bdubs’s stunned lips.

The shorter man sputtered and blushed, burying his head in Etho’s shoulder with a smile hidden on his lips. Etho smiled too, hiding his face back behind his mask, and nudging Bdubs with his shoulder. “Come on, I wanna see more of your stuff. Tango told me you had a really cool thing with a gunpowder farm?” He watched Bdubs eyes light up and knew he had him, hook, line, and sinker.

[potionofinstantdamage]

Hi! First off, love your art style, it's so pretty, and the way you draw characters is so unique that even the ones you draw for fandoms could be seen as your own oc's but also somehow perfectly convey the characters you are drawing at the same time! (I hope that makes sense-)

I've recently discovered your Noir AU and I must admit it's definitely one of the more unique aus I've seen in a long while. I love how you draw the characters, they're designs are delicious (/pos)!

If it's not to much to ask, would you be willing to share more info regarding the AU? Things like (non-revealing of course) backstories for how some of the characters or gangs came to be, any current rivalries ongoing between groups, or if there is any, any ships? This is all (/nf) of course, so only do so if you want to, I hope you have a good day! 8D 🍓

thank you :^D!!

for noir info.... hrmmm. cleo used to work for doc -- he was the one who patched her up after she lost an eye -- but she was always too ambitious (some would say power-hungry) to be content as someone's right-hand-man and she eventually split off from the hive to start her own gang. joe was a civilian who had worked up some unfortunate debts due to equally unfortunate circumstances, and cleo saw his potential and convinced him to join her in her efforts to build a name for herself. noir au is very wobbly in my mind in terms of format but if i ever wrote like, a longfic about it, cleo and joe would probably be the main pov characters.

other than that, i honestly wish that i could say i had more notable character backstories? mumbo and grian are childhood friends, doc and keralis have A History, ren's been building up his own ramshackle logging company for the past several years. keralis was born into money and uses it very irresponsibly and has been married many times bc people keep trying to murder him for his wealth and then leave either because he hypnotizes them out of it or because they find out how batshit insane he is and decide its not worth the effort. stress and doc are cousins, stress used to work for doc as his medic but quit because they butted heads over many things and later joined up with cleo as a kind of petty revenge against him. XB is just a mysterious somewhat-wealthy guy who just kind of... showed up one day. hypno's lived in the city all his life and mostly struggled to break even selling weapons until he and XB started working together and quickly found out that they could run MAD schemes together with their combined methods. cub and scar's backstory is currently a mystery even to me, but they've known each other for many years and will know each other for many more.

as for rivalries between groups, i mean, they're all direct competitors, so none of them like each other, but at the hypothetical start of the story the standings would be like... the main three current biggest gang powers in westport are the hive, the boneyard, and boatem. the hive has been around for years and years and has been deathly effective all that time. the resident empire, etc etc. everyone knows not to fuck with them. the boneyard is far more recent, but has proven to be a shockingly effective power in its own right, which is a threat to the hive's standings, so there's kind of a bitter past-fueled competition going on there. boatem, for its part, was not taken seriously at all until recently, when the previous leader died and left his protege in charge -- mumbo -- and while mumbo isn't a very good leader in his own right, he's really just the puppet front for grian, who, with pearl and impulse backing him up, is raising boatem through the ranks at a frightening pace. so the main conflict of the nonexistent plot might be boatem's rekindled emergence and the consequences of that.

and as for ships, ehhhh, if i ever write some kind of longfic there probably won't be any like, Canon Ships, it'll just be up to reader interpretation. this is mainly because 1. indecisive, 2. not very interested in writing romance most of the time, 3. want to appeal to a wider audience, and 4. what i often jokingly refer to as "queerbaiting my audience" in which i imagine im writing an ambiguously homoerotic published novel and construct entirely subtextual relationships between my characters because it entertains me dearly. for that matter even outside of longfic there aren't really canon ships in noir au persay. idk man. joe and cleo are up to whatever joe and cleo are always up to. ren is a whore for the mafia (doc) there's no getting around that one but the extent of his whoreishness is based on my mood. doc and keralis are 300 pages deep into a novel published in 1950 with the most insane enemies to lovers homoerotic subtext youve read in your life but again the extent of this is based on my mood. xb and hypno's relationship is up to viewer interpretation [looking directly into the camera mouthing "they're gay"]. i think at one point i invented a crackship between pixlriffs and xisuma, who co-run the newspaper that martyn is a reporter for, but i genuinely do not remember why the hell i was doing that. and also pix and xisuma have literally no story relevance anyway. also cub and scar are gay in the way where it's inherently gay to run a speakeasy together.

[mochiwrites]

Gosh mo that is a big fat mood, and that's coming from me who's been drawing for yrs ;7;

Like imagining it is awesome but animating it?? Gods damn wjdjejd

RIGHT???? like okay okay. I need to share what’s going on in my head here. here is your warning, I am a music nerd. was a choir kid in high school. so I am all about music stuff. I am also an anime nerd. which means ofc I’m imagining it as an anime opening.

so the song is giants by bear attack! really, really good song.

the intro starts playing and the way the beat is done… I always picture like. with each change in beat we’ve got flashes of the individual members of the sahara crew going from tango -> pearl -> impulse -> cleo -> ren -> iskall -> grian. and then we’re switching to characters that the crew meets eventually or big players so naturally after grian we’ve got mumbo -> jimmy -> false -> xisuma -> keralis -> etho -> bdubs -> doc -> other characters. and if the intro is still going, we’ve got some shots of the crew doing silly goofy things.

and then we’ve got the first verse and I’m imagining like. the crew doing mundane things on the ship. pearl is up top in her lookout space, tango is setting (professional) fires in the kitchen, ren is reading, cleo is drawing maps, impulse is sitting with iskall doing mechanic stuff and grian is at the helm. there’s probably more stuff that can be done here but I don’t have too clear of an image.

the CHORUS however, you’ve got y’know. scenes of the crew duking it out with an enemy pirate crew and each sahara peep gets a moment in the spotlight before uhhhh maybe we get this really fancy transition right. maybe it’s ren or someone fighting someone with a sword and just as their blades clash, it jumps back out to grian sword fighting with mumbo with iskall at his side and grian flashes mumbo this smirk that’s got him going red.

and. yeah. if I had the skills to animate this I SOOOO would. However. I do not. so this will simply live in my head as a high quality anime level opening type thing ;-;

[sammy-writes-sometimes]

Skrunkly

Word Count: 538

Reblogs > Likes

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Impulse still feels like he hadn't gotten a hang of this whole polyamory thing, more so falling face first into love with Bdubs and getting dragged along for the many things than entailed.

And oh did he love that man and how he loved with his entire heart and soul and body. Bdubs adored him, and Cleo, and Etho, and Scar, and Keralis, and Tango, and just he cared so deeply about every single one of his partners in ways that Impulse didn't fully understand.

Bdubs was often away from the monolith, taking care of court duties or with another partner, so Impulse had time to think. It wasn't a thing for him, he could only give his whole heart to one person at a time, and Bdubs was fine with that. Even joked that it sometimes made things easier, he'd know which people were dating who and so on.

But, for now, Bdubs was out with another and Impulse was in his boyfriend's bedroom. His face was buried in the pillows and sheets, the bed might have been cold but it still had the dryad's flowery scent that came from him being a nature spirit.

He had to be half asleep when he finally heard the click-tap of hooves against stone, turning his head to watch his partner.

With a careful nudge, Bdubs curled into the bed beside Impulse, letting his demonic boyfriend move to rest his head against his chest. A hand played with his hair, scratching at the base of his scalp.

"Missed you." Impulse just barely managed to mumble.

"I missed you too, my love." Bdubs whispered back.

He purrs at that, nuzzling into his partner more. It still feels weird to not share a heartbeat anymore, but Bdubs' is like an upbeat to his downbeat now which provides a form of comfort.

"I'm sorry for being out so long, I was on a date and you know how clingy Tango and Keralis can get when they feel like it."

"We always have tomorrow." Impulse suggested, forcing his eyes to stay open for just a moment longer.

Bdubs only hums a response before pressing his lips to Impulse's forehead.

He's pretty sure he sounds just like a pampered cat that's been given more than enough attention, ribs nearly vibrating from how loud his purring is, but he can't help himself. Bdubs is here, treating him with small words and soft touches that he just melts into without a single fight, he doesn't think he's ever loved someone this strongly before.

Strong arms wrap around him, kneading at knotted shoulders until a hand gently moves Impulse’s chin and takes him in an even more gentle kiss. And, once again, he’s melting and feeling impossibly more gooey than he already felt.

He doesn’t even say ‘I love you’ or another form of goodnight, the simple comfort of Bdubs being with him sweeps him into a welcome sleep as the hand in his hair slowly stills and brings him impossibly closer. But he can just barely hear Bdubs’ whispering one, even as sleep takes him, even as his hearing goes out and he’s unable to process words, and he feels like he’s fallen for him even more.

[roxie-roo]

Emptober Day 27: Mystery

There was a newcomer to the world of Empires. Fifteen strangers had come through the rift, some excited, some nervous, some flat out confused. None of them gods. At least, they didn't think so. Pearl had some mild confusion about her, but she couldn't be a god. She was just a cleaning lady. Right?

Then there was a new presence, in Dawn. A shiny coated, wide-eyed, smiling presence. The smile seemed friendly enough, looking at it straight on. It looked like any other smile to Gem.

"Hello!" It called out cheerfully. "What's your name?"

"Gem!" The princess of the sun replied with a smile of her own, warm and welcoming. The new figure smirked.

"Gem, of course. My child of light. I'm the god of the sun, and of sleep."

The god of the sun. See, Gem's people in Dawn worshiped the sun, that much was true. But it never had a name to attach to it. Maybe that was why there was a hint of skepticism in her when the supposed deity told her his title.

See, it wasn't completely out of the ordinary for gods to announce themselves and their presence. Hell, Joel made his presence quite known. But there was something off about this one. Even still, who was Gem to question what the sun wanted.

The god of the sun said he wanted a church built to him, she built a church to him. That seemed to make another certain god upset.

"Dear Gem," The letter started, already a start that the sun princess was dreading. It droned on and on for a few pages, about how nice of a god he was, and why didn't she build a church for and worship him (in Gem's opinion, worshipping friends, which she considered Joel to be, was a bit odd in itself). But a few pages after it, behind the façade of bravado and arrogance, laid the true reason for this letter.

"In all seriousness, are you alright? Things seem a little off. If you need me to come take care of it, I will.", she read, and tossed the letter almost instantly. Everything was fine. Why would it not be? There was no need to worry!

Something compelled Joel to make Hermes a special present that afternoon. A little iron necklace in the shape of a lightning bolt, which the little child absolutely loved. He showed it off to everyone who passed by, especially when he went to Sanctuary to stay with his other parent. Though, in staying with Sausage, that made the guardian of Sanctuary question some things. Namely, the iron. If Joel were to make someone a gift, and it weren't a toy, it would be made of gold. Sausage had the mini Stratos-sphere to prove that much. But iron? Something was up. So he whistled for a bird friend to tell him what was going on. Birds always had the most interesting of gossip.

And that gossip is what had his typical sunshiny disposition turn cloudy. Keralis paused his conversation with the allay to take a look at their host, squinting a little.

"Hey- Daddy sausage!" He called out and waved him over. "What's gotcha looking so down, sweet face?"

"Nothing, nothing.." Sausage waved a hand dismissively and tried to smile. "Just... there's a new god in Dawn, and it's not sitting right with me. They said he's called Bdubs, or something..?"

"Bdubs?" Keralis snorted, trying his best not to laugh. "There's no way. He's just some little guy. Everyone's little guy! He wouldn't be some kind of god or anything."

"You know what they say, mi amor." Sausage shook his head. "Beware the little ones.."

That comment made Keralis stop. Could it really be possible? For Bdubs to be some kind of god in this world? Or at the very least to declare himself a god. Why not ask the lore man about it! The lore man might know something!

So Keralis resolved himself to ask Pix the next day, finding the strange man somewhat in recovery, from the loss of his deepslate emerald ore. He could take time out of his grief to speak with Keralis though. Wasn't that thoughtful?

"There's some kind of god in Dawn? Or at least, he says he's one." Keralis tried to explain. "I don't know if he really is a god."

"Well, there's many different possibilities." Pix hummed in thought. "He could've became a god in his arrival to this world. You said the rift is closed.. If it were, how would he have gotten in? He also could be creating a cult."

"If he were, he wouldn't put himself as the leader.." Keralis shook his head. "I dunno... it's weird. It's like we're seeing a new side to him."

"Apotheosis can often be revealing. Just like power."

"Apothe... what?"

"Apotheosis." Pix brushed his hands off and stood to fix the glass casing, which previously held his beloved emeralds. "Or deification. Turning or declaring someone a god."

"Right..." Keralis nodded slowly, laughing to himself under his breath. "It's so weird seeing Bdubs like this. I'm used to him just being the little guy."

"Bdubs?" That made the archeologist turn to look at the hermit, who just stared back in confusion, wide eyes unblinking.

"Uh.. yeah? That's who it is. It's so weird, seeing him sorta "become" a god. Why?"

"It's just odd... I don't think the fae can become gods."

[fryingpan1234567]

welp I’m obsessed now, have some more headcanons from my college au

Wow not just Empires this time? Crazy

So the DSMP- it’s funny because no one else really swears, so when one of them (particularly like Q or Tommy) swears they get like a hundred people going “LANGUAGE” and at least four of them flick them in the side of the head

A few of them show promise as far as building goes- Foolish and Sam are both pretty awesome STEAM people

Most of them still don’t know what they’re doing tho lmao

As previously mentioned, the dorm buildings are really funky but I want to talk about them more

So the ESMP (Empire Building) is gorgeous architecture and vaulted ceilings and mural walls done by students; very shmancy, as far as dorms go. And then all the rooms are very different styles- Joel and Pix share a room (bf things✨✨) and it’s an Ancient Greek style, Scott and Sausage have a very colorful place, Lizzie and fWhip’s room is full of plants, aquariums, terrariums, and as many other living things as possible, Katherine and Shelby have lots of witchy magic everywhere and it’s pink and green and purple and black, Gem and Jimmy’s place is an absolute mess of things, but it’s all perfectly organized and put together and Gem’s ceiling is a skylight. Ollie and Joey look right over the coast, but the dorm is mostly ship themed because Ollie pitches a tent on the beach most of the time

I… didn’t really want to talk about the other two I just wanted to do Empires XD

Well a lot could be said about everyone’s fashion sense, because here’s the thing: they’re college students

That means we’ve got some of them absolutely tryharding and the others too lazy to throw on much more than jeans, a partner’s shirt or hoodie, and the nearest pair of Converse

But our tryhards (Tango, I’m looking at you) are out here in full fits and sometimes makeup that they spent a good hour on that morning and like?? Who’s got that kind of energy??

But all of them have to try at least a little bit sometimes, because field projects are a thing and they can’t show up in their pajamas

Example number one: fWhip spends most of his time in a combination of Pix’s sweats, Joel’s hoodies, and Lizzie’s flannels. But when it’s time to climb down into a bigass cavern for three days, it’s a WHOLE other story

We’re talking cargo pants, hiking boots, Mojang Uni T-shirt, full climbing harnesses, and he’s tied the longer front part of his hair into a unicorn horn to keep it out of his face so you can see the freckles all over his cheeks and forehead. We’re not gonna talk about why his partners very suddenly had nosebleeds while waving him off on his trip have fun babe!!

Example two: Bdubs normally wears his fuzzy green bathrobe that looks like moss over a white T-shirt and black jeans, but on days where he was to present projects/ models/ builds, it’s a sweater over a collared shirt and a Uni cap that Etho ALWAYS has to steal just because it’s that tempting to mess with his poor short boyfriend

But ofc there’s always those ones (ahem DREAM) who just don’t put all that much effort in

Niki, Lizzie, Stress, Katherine, Gem, Hannah, and Shelby work at the campus coffee shop (their menu is infused with magic!)

You can order a latte with a shot of confidence if you’ve got a presentation

You can order extra hydration if you have a field trip and need to walk a lot and you don’t want to bring a water bottle

The campus wind sailing team that consists of Puffy, Joey, Ollie, Ren, and Keralis uses the bay for practice while the rest of everyone else has a beach day (it’s a crowded but lovely sight)

Truth or Dare at parties is a fucking nightmare are you kidding me

Do not challenge Dream to obstacle courses. The only one who’s ever beaten him is Grian

Anyways

[redorich]

rating hermits based on whether i'd fight them

1. bdubs. i want to put this man in a blender i want to glue him to the wall like a dartboard i want to splash him with a few drops of water so that he microwaves well i want to crinkle him up like paper and chew on him. he would bite me and i would catch every disease ever

2. cleo. p,,pretty zombie lady,,,,,,, red hair and Evil............... 😳

3. jevin. is he made of goop or bones. i think it's goop and when i punch him my hand will sink into his body this man is made of non-newtonian fluid and i am armed with seventeen bendy straws of unreasonable silliness

4. grian. he's like the meme of the smug cat surrounded by knives, punching him would be so satisfying but he would hold up a bucket and as i go to punch him my hand would get stuck in the bucket and he would mock me for looking stupid because my hand is stuck in a bucket

5. mumbo. i'd fight him because i know i'd win. he smells like prey

6. tango. he would make very fun noises as i hit him with a brick, he is a very squeaky flavor of man.

7. keralis. he's, like, deceptively good at pvp??? specifically running away???? i'd be running around trying to catch him for like two hours while he occasionally divebombs me and makes vaguely lewd references to my mother. 10/10

8. wels. he'd fight with honor and i would love to beat him with the old pocket sand trick and/or pantsing him

9. iskall. he's a really talented pvp'er and easygoing, i feel like i would have a lot of fun fighting him and learn a lot of stuff. i definitely wouldn't win most of our fights but i'd enjoy them just the same. he seems like a pretty good sport :)

10. false. she's talented and i would like to have a friendly sparring match with her :)

11. pearl. listen she;s a prety lady am i supposed to say "NO miss moon i don't wanna spar you" like??? of course i'll fight her 😳

12. stress. i feel like she deserves to go a little bit feral <3

13. beef. shaped like a friend. would have fun sparring

14. hypno. i don't know him very well but i am always down to attack <3

15. xb. same as hypno but his name has an x in it which makes him at least 12% cooler

16. zedaph. he's just a little science guy your honor. i feel like i would seek him out with the intention of beating him up for his lunch money and three hours later i would find myself balancing apples on top of my head while he shoots them off with a cannon wondering how did i get here

17. cub. i'd do it if provoked but otherwise no. there would be consequences for my actions and i'm not accustomed to facing those

18. impulse. his voice sounds like a smile, you're telling me i'm meant to viciously bite and kill and murder him?? :((

19. joe. let's just say that while joe himself is very beat-uppable, he's way smarter than i'll ever be and he'll probably figure out a dozen ways to be maliciously compliant and ruin my day. also, joe is fuck around and cleo is find out and i want to be prepared when she stands behind me with a wide grin and a baseball bat full of nails

20. ren. this man is just living his life, roleplaying his little heart out. i'll give the no-beating-up-privileges pass to ONE (1) theater nerd. wilbur soot eat your heart out

21. gem. MY LITTLE SCRUNKLY POO 🥺 MEOW MEOW HONKA WIMBUS ❤️💓💖💗 ia m gay

22. scar. physically, i could kill him, but emotionally? never. plus he'd probably make me severely regret it, being one of the reigning kings of Shenanigans

23. doc. he has an intimidating voice but i am 100% sure i could beat him up if i really wanted to . sure he can fight but will he? probably not. why would i want to beat him up, though? he's the goat. he is a wet sock and i am going to put him in the dryer set to low heat, delicates only

24. etho. he'd probably kick my ass if i stepped to him, and whether i beat him or not i'd probably be pranked for the rest of my days

25. tfc. if you'd fight tfc i'll fight you. tfc has actually done nothing wrong in his life, ever,

26. xisuma. i'd kick him in the shin once and he'd ask me if i'm doing alright, if i need to talk or need some help with something, and three hours later i'm sobbing into his arms about my childhood while he tells me it's okay to have unresolved feelings about my relationship with my parents

[dcjokerhs]

OK, I have officially stayed up too long:

What if Grian was Wilbur's brother, older by three years, taken at 4-6 years old, by Cultists and put in Pearl's family, only to then experience the Hells of Yandere Highschool, fulfil the Cult's wishes via his capture from Evo, then end up being led to Hermitcraft via Mumbo, who then helps him reunite with Pearl?

Big neg for this idea? Designing the Cultists.

Positive for this AU? Kristin literally saw Pearl falling from Evo and went "NEW DAUGHTER!" and, when Pearl got Suspicious about it, gave her the task of Finding and Protecting her brother and helping Kristin find the Watchers, who are Hiding from Kristin because She's Heccin Death, and She Is FURIOUS with them.

Bittersweet Part of This AU? Phil and Techno stay away from Grian during MCC because they Remember, but they see he's Happy, and, like the way they abandoned Tommy and Wilbur after hearing Some Major Enemies were after them, they want him to believe whatever it is he's grown up thinking, because they'd rather that than admit Out Loud that They Failed, despite being Trillions of Years Old, because That Stuff Breaks You...

But, on the other hand, Phil's necklace-thing is a ruby and obsidian locket holding the babyhair of Grian, Wil and Tom, as well as the strand of hair Techno gave Phil as his first big "I Trust You, so I give you part of Me, grown from My Blood and My Soul, for you to Keep Always." It also has baby pictures and the Tommy's first daisy-chain that he'd tried crowning his Papa with.

(Techno may or may not also have four matching strands carefully woven into the underside of his hair, only visible when he's bearing his neck to the world with his hair in a bun.)

Other than that:

Jimmy is Pearl's little bro, he ends up being able to Sense Death (though, unfortunately it makes Canary Brain go "Mama!" and he GOES TOWARDS THE DANGER as Mumza's trying to get her tiniest adopted chick to STAY ALIVE! GDI!!)

Tommy nearly gets Eburean'd, Dream manages to do it in prison, he almost starts doing it once free from prison, but Tommy's still settling into his own abilities as a Phoenix, so Kristin goes "BABY BOY TO ELDEST BOY!" and yeets him to Grian, so Grian and Tommy have a "Who Are You?!" "Grian Minecraft?!" Moment.

(Dadza Be Madza. Dadza Be Sadza. Dream Be DEAD)

Tommy is reunited with the others via MCC, but Dream's there like "Come Home Tommy, you're Breaking Rules, Tommy!" tho Then Grian looms Over Dream as Scar distracts Tubbo and Tommy with Jellie, Grian going all Mr Dreamslayer, like "What Are You Doing Near my Smal Charge?"

Then Wilbur starts bawling over his baby brother and Techno's standing there, looking Mightly Uncomfy because all his weapons got taken from him at the door... And the Voices are screeching at him to "HUG THE CHICK!!" "TOMBIRB! TOMBIRB!" etc.

Things reach a head when either Grian gets Captured via the Rift and Pearl thinks her blood will work for the tracking spell, but No, It's Tommy's that works, or when Phil's locket gets stolen from around his neck, it ends up being opened and shown to Grian, only for Phil to step up behind whichever poor sod is holding it (idky, but I can see it being held by either Martyn or Zedaph) like "I Think You Have Something of Mine." and Confrontation Occurs.

BUT HEALING FLOOF!!!

So much healing floof1

Wilbur "accidentally" pushes Ranboo and Tubbo into Hermitcraft when "bidding Tommy goodbye" just as Xisuma's preparing to close the portal, then Scar sees Tubbo's burns and goes "THIS IS MY SON NOW!" as Ranboo's all stuttery and stumbly and Impulse and Keralis and Doc have to play rock/paper/scissors, though then Doc hears Tubbo Likes Nukes and Knows His Redstone and... oh. Oh dear. Tubbo now has 2 Chaotic Dads. Oh No, What A Tragedy (/s)

Ranboo likes helping Pearl, False and Cleo with their builds, and even follows Pearl when she's going to try selling her Cleaning Services with his notebook and quill, ready to take notes for her and help her calculate costs ahead of time. (He gets All The Mommas and Cub keeps trying to get him to eat more with the food he's stolen from Scar... Not that Ranboo knows about the thievery when Scar Finds Out.... before joining in on feeding Ranboo All The Foods Scar's Gone Dadmode Uh o UH oh....

Not even Mumbo's Return could save them from Grian's Big Bro Mode combo'd with Scar's Dad Mode...

Anyway!! Enjoy!!!

I am Going to SLEEP!! >w<

[ghastspidergwen]

Hermits as things my fellow high schoolers and I have said, part 2

Ren: Hello, yes, how much would it cost to purchase one Jack Black?

.

Impulse: *points to Scar* There are some people you can trust with a Snickers, but not your life, *points to Pearl* there are some people you can trust with your life but not a Snickers, *points to Mumbo* there are some people who you can trust about anything, and then there's Grian

.

Joe, about Cleo: I know you're a redhead, so your soul is filled with sass, but calm down, girl

.

Mumbo, distraught: I am a tube...of noodles

.

Iskall: *sees Etho* Oh, no! Not Canada!

.

Cleo: It's only $15.99 a month to live, so pay up!

.

Xisuma: no shenanigans while I'm gone

EX: you have too much faith in me

.

Grian: If we put our heads together, our combined braincells can equal half the number of a normal person's

Scar: and we'll get another concussion!

.

Zedaph: Make good choices? Why?

.

Gem: wait for me!

False: are you slow because you're a ginger?

Gem: NO, IT'S BECAUSE MY LEGS ARE SHORT!!!

.

Wels: I've taken 12 advil at once, so I'm not weak

.

Bdubs: I've come to the conclusion that the universe was created on a Wednesday

Tango: how many Wednesdays ago?

Bdubs: at least 4

.

Keralis: comic sans is so beautiful!

.

Doc: You just gotta say I'm taller than you, so, therefore, I'm better

.

xB: it's just me, causing problems, like always

hypno: we love problems!

.

part 1

[theminecraftloser]

hi there! i saw your grian fan design post and was wondering if you could explain the "pesky bird shenanigans" you mentioned in s7. i'm new to the fandom and i see that phrase tossed around a lot but don't have the context for it, and i'm curious as to what it means/why grian was then drawn with different wings bc of it? i saw in your tags you like talking about grian so hopefully you're a good person to ask sjfjdjf, if not don't worry about it!!

Hello!! Yes I love talking about Grian! Feel free to ask any questions about him or his series :D

During season 7 of Hermitcraft, Grian lived in the jungle biome for his starter base and beside the jungle for his mega base. In Minecraft, parrots are only able to spawn in Jungle biomes so Grian tamed one.

His first was called Professor Beaks but the rest he would kill and before doing so he’d proclaim “pesky bird”. He then went on to use parrot heads in his barge mystery prizes.

Barge Mystery Prizes we’re Shulker Boxes players could buy for a set amount but they didn’t know what was inside before purchase. It could be a bunch of logs, loads of sand/gravel or something not too valuable which would usually have the pesky bird head inside.

Grian also ran Pesky Bird Delivery service. This would be when he built a small platform outside a players base with a massive bulk delivery for a reasonable price. He had the pesky birds “carry” the platforms. There was however, usually a catch because the parrots were being pesky (annoying)

For Iskall’s delivery of leaves, the longer he waited to buy it, the more diorite (bird poop) Grian would add from the pesky bird. Iskall hates diorite so Grian was forcing him to pay for it.

RenDog’s delivery for gunpowder contained an IOU note that meant if Grian wanted Ren to do something all he had to do was pull the IOU card and Ren had to do it. I’m pretty sure though that the IOU never got claimed by Grian as he gave it early on in the season and probably forgot about it. If it did get claimed, I don’t remember.

Keralis ordered some gravel, sand and andesite, however because Keralis’s order was in episode 63 and the other two were in episodes 16 and 17 (respectively), I think it’s likely Grian forgot he was adding a catch to each delivery. Keralis paid a slight discount to if he had bought these items from the Barge.

Grian is also a well known trickster, always pulling pranks and such on fellow Hermits. One of the biggest examples during season 7 was the Turf War. Grian began a presidential campaign for Mumbo Jumbo but ended up voting for Scar to be Mayor instead (to be fair, Mumbo also voted for Scar). Part of Scar’s campaign was he would change the shopping district from being mycelium, as it originally was on the Mushroom island, to grass. Grian in typical Grian fashion, started a resistance. The mycelium resistance. Whose main goal was to keep the shopping district it’s original block because “It’s the principal”. Eventually. The Mycelium Resistance lost and Grian admitted he liked how the grass looked better anyways. He dragged on this major conflict across several episodes only to agree with Scar.

I hope this has helped! If you have any more questions, send them my way! (Some exact fine details might be a bit off because I haven’t rewatched season 7 fully in a while)

[dmwrites]

I thought of a very stupid idea thanks to this post so enjoy lol

“Oh Princess! Oh Brian! Hello lovely boys!” Keralis boated up to xB’s base. “How lovely to see you both! What are we up to?”

“Hiya Keralis! I was just giving Grian some nautilus shells.” xB said.

“Do you happen to have any, Keralis? I’m trying to build a conduit and I’m tearing my hair out trying to find these shells.” Grian asked.

“Im afraid I have none to my name.” Keralis dramatically shook his head. “And I would love to stay and chat, but I have to run! Goodbye Brian! Goodbye Princess!” And Keralis was gone, rowing down the river again.

“Princess? Why on earth does Keralis call you Princess?” Grian asked xB with a quirked brow.

xB giggled. “Oh, you know, that’s just Keralis for you, always with the pet names.”

“Right, sure, but my nickname is Brian, not hot stuff. So what’s up with you two?” Grian wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, get your mind out of the gutter Brian.” xB said, handing Grian the shells. “Don’t you have a rock to bring to life?”

“I’m just gonna keep annoying you until you tell me.” Grian said decidedly, and started jumping up and down on xB’s potato plants to prove it.

“Oh my f- fine, fine, I’ll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell anyone else.” xB sighed. “Keralis has the pet name Princess for me because I used to be his literal pet fish named Princess. There, happy?”

“Im sorry, what?” Grian looked taken aback, naturally.

“A very long time ago Keralis bought me at a pet store. I was a super cool fish, and he named me Princess, and I lived in a fishtank on his desk, and then one day I got turned into this guy.” xB indicated to himself. “So yeah.”

“Wha- how did you get turned into a person?” Grian was flabbergasted.

“That is a story for Keralis to tell, not me.” xB said very firmly, and pushed Grian back into his boat. Grian looked up at him, mind clearly racing.

“Is it like The Shape of Water?”

“No.”

“What about Princess and the Frog?”

“I refuse to speak without a lawyer present.”