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#“veggies help you poo poo”
thethirdpapa · 6 months
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Some people need their mouth sealed
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skambane · 2 years
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Headcanons for Rivusa first date
uuuuh keep the headcanons coming ‘cause im loving it, let’s go:
riven and musa would have sooooo many not-a-date dates like:
- spending the whole night talking with each other outside of the pub instead of dancing inside with their friends because “i can’t be inside, too many people to feel…” or “i gotta smoke some, wanna tag along, fairy?”
- having way too much fun cleaning horse's poo instead of taking it as a punishment
- scheduling training more than once a week starts to become just an excuse to spend more time together, lingering longer and longer to chat in between water breaks
and then the unintentional time together starts to become more and more intentional as they go:
- one time they “lost” track of time training and missed dinner but to her surprise, riven was a man with a plan. he took her to the now empty canteen but walked right past every table, directing them to the back. he knew where everything was in the kitchen as if he had personally organized it. musa was amazed at how similar to when training he looks when cooking, in his element, free and in control. “why do I feel like this isn’t the first time you do this?” and he simply answered, “because it isn’t.”
“wow, you are treating me like one of your many girls? you hurt me riven” she played as dramatic as possible just to tease, but deep inside she feared how he would answer it. with his classic smirk, he said: “hold your jealousy, fairy….” green eyes meeting hers, “you are my one and only.” a wink flew her way before his attention was back on the food and she cursed her brain for coloring her cheeks. for the first time in forever, she wished to use her power to know how real he was being but the limiters stayed on after training.
he heated up some leftover pasta with some new veggies, they sat on the kitchen floor and ate. eating turned into a beer or two and then was 2am and they are still talking and laughing while endlessly teasing each other. once the sleep and alcohol started to get to them they decide to call it the night. he helped her to stand up and they stay chest to chest and hand to hand, eyes from eyes to mouth and all the way around again for a second too much for them to pretend that night was just another night.
- next time they decided to train bright and early before the school was awake. and riven was more than surprised to find her already sitting in the middle of the training ring, with two coffees and a bag of some sort of breakfast food right in front of her. with her (his) favorite orange training outfit on her body, her signature two low buns, waiting for him, what a view it was. “were we going to train or have tea party?” he asked already sitting right across from her while she extended him a coffee. “black and no sugar, i assumed.” (she knew ‘cause she lost about 5 minutes every morning pretending not to watch him walk through the canteen to get his coffee). “it’s a thank you breakfast… for the dinner, the other night.”
riven tried not to show how happy he was to know that the night had stayed in her mind just like stayed in his but the glint in his eyes failed him. it felt like the night in the kitchen but so different at the same time, they ate, talked, and laughed but everything was much low, calmer, and softer as the birds danced between trees. the other night felt loud, tempting, and hot. neither of them knew which one felt better but both would pay to have more of any again.
riven didn't even notice that the limiters were still tucked in the box because there was nothing in his mind that wasn't clear in his face already, she needed no powers to know he liked her.
-and moments like so became more and more a thing, many breakfasts and dinners just the two of them until loud and soft started to become one, and they danced around each other with many not-dates that ended in many almost touches and almost kisses.
- the official first date only came after a late night training, dinner was over already so riven asked while they collected their gear: “wanna hit the kitchen, fairy?” and feeling brave after kicking his ass in the last fight, she said: “when are you taking me on an actual date?”
it took him a while to fly back to earth and say something. her braveness gone in a second “chill, riv, im jok-”
“what about tomorrow night?” his words cutting hers and his (hers) favorite smirk playing on his lips. that night he walked to her room and kissed her right there and then. her body stayed between his and the wall for what felt like an eternity and not enough. musa slept feeling his taste on her lips and riven dreamed of his hands on her skin all night long.
- the next night they had their first date in town, at the pub they would always go to because neither of them cared about “where”, they just wanted to keep the things they'd been doing… with a few veeeeery good additions.
come chat with me about rivusa
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roadtodeltarune · 5 months
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Earthbound Update 3
(PART 1)
I'm back! Some of you may have thought I abandoned this project, but you were wrong!
Where have I been? What have I been doing? Oh, I've been busy playing Earthbound! I knew I was close to the end, so I wanted to finish it before updating! I could have finished in a week, but I got distracted by other games and responsibilities. Now what exactly did I do in Earthbound?
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Well last time, I cured Tenda Village's shyness. After making my last update, I tried their coffee and had another strange vision. But once my head cleared, I did some trading and then hopped into the cave.
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As I figured, this was my next Sanctuary Location. The boss wasn't very tough; he was blasted to bits by a multi-bottle rocket and some good bashes. The hardest part was the maze of a cave!
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We had a strange moment of Straw's(Ness) thoughts being beamed to a wall, then jumped down a hole into the Underworld.
This place is huge! And there are dinosaurs here! I wanted to avoid them since I felt strong enough already, but they were just too big, they kept blocking my path. It's actually so huge here that I had to look up a map. I also got lost in the first five minutes and was walking in circles, so a map helped a lot.
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I feel like this should be a bigger moment, but didn't Buzz Buzz already say something about being in a prophecy? I guess it's good to remember the scale of our journey. Welp, time for the last Sanctuary Location!
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Well, that was a fever dream...
The Fire Spring wasn't too hard to go through, the Psychic Psychos were more so just annoying. The final Sanctuary Boss felt like a good final boss, though, that fight was lots of fun.
As for all the melodies playing together, they sounded very pretty. I feel like they fit together better than Mother 1, but I hope there is, or will be, an orchestrated version like Mother 1 has.
The sequence afterward of Straw going through his home and seeing how much his parents loved him... Man, that hit me right in the feels. At the end of Mother 1, I came to the conclusion that this series is about love. Spoiler: I come to the same conclusion with Earthbound.
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MAGICANT?! How is Magicant here! I thought it was Mary's dreamscape and it faded when she accepted death. Is... Is Mary still around? Is that why the melodies are back?
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I think I like the aesthetic of this Magicant more. The old one was pretty, but this one feels more peaceful, and the color shifting adds to the magic/dream aspect.
Plus all the veggies remind me of my Mother 1 characters: Carrot, Onion, Potato, and Beet.
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Is this true or is this what Straw thinks is happening with Pokey? Is he really, truly a bad guy?
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Rest in peace, Buzz Buzz. We'll win this war for you.
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The Flying Men! It's good to see them again! Oh no, wait, I don't want them to die
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Interesting... My personal explanation for this is that the statue brought out the worst in people, so it uses the evil part of your brain; but I also think Straw just views it as the worst evil he's fought so far.
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Hi, I'm back here. I died to the statue. This seemed impossible, just like Belch, so I looked up some tips and a map. I found that I just needed a bunch of Dragonite, so I got some from storage. I also got an extra Earth Pendant for Apple (Jeff)
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Wow! Dragonite is strong! I got lucky though, he didn't heal in this second attempt. If he would have, I might have lost.
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Like how Grape (Poo) had his training that, to me, like he was reaching his personal enlightenment, I feel the same for this moment. It feels like Straw is taking everything that's happened to him and learning a great lesson that's left up for interpretation, whether it's a lesson on Love, Determination, Destiny, overcoming Evil, or all of the above.
This also makes me think that Magicant is a by-product of the Melodies, meaning Mary must have been in Magicant for decades, waiting for Carrot(NinTen) to restore peace to her and help her move on.
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imgonnapanic · 3 years
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Third gym squad with a theater kid s/o:
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Kuroo Tetsurou
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Tbh, he knew what he was signing up for when he started dating you.
He’s just not used to it, because he doesn’t have many extroverted friends who aren’t annoying pieces of-
I can envision you both going on the hub to watch pirated musicals. Hamilton, Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, you name it.
He loooves your singing voice, even if it’s your nervous purposely bad one.
You love the musicals that include allll the good stuff (trauma, death, tragedy, etc.)
Or the iconic ones. You can’t forget about those.
So you’re less-than-thrilled when your school chooses “Honk! The Musical” for this years play.
It’s a spin off of the ugly duckling that no one has heard of.
And when you come up to Kuroo sulking about this boring play you’re emotionally obliged to do, he can’t help but laugh a little.
But his laughter stops when he sees your eyes down at your shoes.
And then he shuts the fuck up because you’re actually upset.
After assuring that you will still be Broadway material even if you’re dressed up as a goose, you feel a little better.
In the two weeks leading up to auditions, Kuroo is starting to get caught humming “A Poultry Tale” at practice.
I mean, his Spotify feed went from Kendrick Lamar to Legally Blonde within one month of dating you, so cut the guy a break.
The day of auditions, you’re a bundle of nerves as you go over the dumb song again and again.
And Kuroo is like “calm down babe you’re gonna do great.”
That sure did a ton.
“Shut up Heather”
...
“Sorry Heather”
He’s also a bundle of nerves at practice, though. He just couldn’t let you see it.
By now, all of the Nekoma team knows you’re auditioning today, and the minute he walks in he just holds up a hand.
“They’re auditioning as we speak”
He’s not surprised when you get the lead.
He looks like the cat who ate the canary he’s a little amused when he figures out the lead is named “Ugly” but by now he has learned to keep it on the inside.
Your schedule is now jam packed, but that’s okay, because Nationals are also coming up for Kuroo and needs to put in some extra hours at the gym anyways.
You better believe two months later Kuroo is making his entire team buy a ticket.
Kuroo didn’t even get to see you on opening night because of dress rehearsals, but that’s okay.
He cleared his entire schedule that day and now has time to wallow in his own excitement and buy you some flowers.
He’s there with the squad team at 6PM sharp, dressed up, and trying to keep his dignity.
When you first walk on stage, the team snickers a little bit at your costume, but Kuroo was completely enraptured by your singing voice, your blocking, your makeup, everything.
This was much better than the demo CD that they had given you.
Afterwards, he gives you your flowers and is glued to your side for the rest of the night, babbling about how proud he was of you, and how talented you are, Nekoma team be damned.
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Tsukishima Kei
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Tsukki-poo already had a soft spot for the arts before he met you.
Not that he would tell anyone, ever.
When you started dating him though, it gave him an excuse to share his favorite soundtracks.
“you can hit that note, you know.”
*cue the arguing about how you aren’t Barbara Streisand*
When you two are walking through the hallway with him and you see the poster reading “Auditions for Karasuno High School’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ are open!” You start freaking out.
You love that movie! And Kei tolerates it!
Kei honestly thought you would be Ariel/Prince Eric when he first heard you singing “Part of Your World”
Like, you have the voice of a fucking lark. The directors have to be batshit crazy not to cast you.
In his humble opinion.
So he’s a bit taken aback when you get the role of Flounder, but he’s very proud anyways. Especially after you explain that there’s musical numbers that you’re in that aren’t in the movie.
He just hates your director for no reason now.
Practicing your lines with him in your free time becomes almost inevitable because you both have nothing else better to do.
And he can see how into it you are.
And let me just say that you are killing it.
Seriously. You have no problem getting into character, and Kei doesn’t say this much but-
It’s fucking adorable, okay? He has little goth moths in his stomach.
And he can’t wait to see the show, because then he can show you off.
That doesn’t mean he likes the other first years prying at your progress.
Hinata’s incessant questioning about theater anatomy and the memorization of your lines gets really annoying.
Even for someone with a normal temper like you-
“Yes it’s called the right wing. NOT wing spiker. Yes they’re off book. Now will you shut your trap already?”
Dress Rehearsals come, and you’re spinning around his room, face morphing from complete concentration to happy, go-lucky Flounder.
You, Kei, and Yamaguchi (your little third wheel-) all know the soundtrack pretty much up and down, left and right, backwards and inside out.
He still shivers remembering the time you just walked into his house not registering that Flounder’s makeup looks kind of scary up close-
All of his pride was sacrificed that day. All of it.
On the morning of opening night, Kei was walking you to the school, pretending to be bitchy about it being on a Saturday.
“C’mon, what am I supposed to do all day?”
As luck would have it, he’s stuck sitting next to one Hinata Shoyo. Lovely.
So he sat down next to him, and ignored him the whole show. I mean, it worked, he shut up after thirty seconds.
After the show, Kei has to wait a bit for you to take your makeup off, but when you come running out, he can’t hold back a tiny grin.
“That was good. I’m proud of you.”
And then he took you to dinner because singing makes a bad bleep hungry 😌
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Bokuto Kotarou
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Listen, you’re loud, Bokuto’s loud-
So basically you two are on a mission to not annoy Akaashi for as long as you can before inevitably getting yelled at for your affection and love and shit.
Now, both of you would love for this to be possible.
But the Frozen soundtrack makes it too difficult.
Especially when you can edit the lyrics just to piss off Konoha.
“Turn away and slAm the door *on Konoha”
“The wind is howling like the storm inside *of Konoha”
The possibilities are endless, really.
The game changer is when you two are belting out the song where Elsa and Anna are arguing.
And you accidentally hit the “I-i-I CANNNNT”
Akaashi is like for the love of GOD just audition for the play.
He quickly realizes that his suggestion was not a good idea.
Since guess what the musical is.
You’re auditioning as a joke, okay? You love Frozen, but this is a Fukurōdani Academy level play.
You didn’t expect to land the role of Olaf.
Your director sat you down and bluntly told you that he thought that you had the charisma and energy to be Olaf, but he knew that you were auditioning for a joke.
He needed you to be committed.
And hell yeah, you were gonna be committed.
At first, Bokuto was super proud of you! His s/o as a lead role? So impressive!
You even taught Bokuto your choreography for “In Summer”
He only retained half of it, but eh.
He’s a volleyball player. He tried.
As rehearsal times became longer and longer, Bokuto was a little upset at himself because he didn’t realize how committed you were until it hit him in the face.
Akaashi is there to get him out of his funk when you aren’t, though.
“They feel the same way when you need to be in the gym longer. It’s just a part of having a passion. Just utilize your time with them wisely.”
This bitch knows full well Bokuto doesn’t do ‘wise’ though, so he also sets to him a little more.
Dress rehearsals start, and Bokuto is always waiting for you to come out of the auditorium to ride the bus home.
You’re just bubbling over with stories about the magic of being on stage.
The lights, the microphones, the costumes, just talking about it makes you nostalgic already.
On opening night, Bokuto and Akaashi are there in the front row, going through the program.
“There’s y/n!!!!”
And you can’t see him because of the blinding spotlight, but you can hear Bokuto cheering for you after you finish “In Summer”
Afterwards he gives you a big hug, and you guys go home and watch Frozen.
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Akaashi Keiji
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When you start dating Akaashi in your second year at Fukurōdani, you’ve been on stage for the last ten years of your life.
Singing, acting, dancing, you love it all.
You’re even considering making it your career.
Akaashi doesn’t know much about theater at all, but he makes sure to do his research since it’s such a big part of your life.
The company you take acting classes with is having their winter show soon, and you couldn’t be happier when you figure out it’s ‘Into the Woods.’
Akaashi makes the mistake of asking the plot of the story.
“So basically there are these two infertile bakers with dead parents and there’s this witch that’s old and wrinkly and she comes to their house because fifty years ago the bakers dad stole her veggies and took the magic beans that made her look old and wrinkly-“
(A/n: this isn’t even half the plot)
He decides he’ll figure it out when he sees the play.
Akaashi knows that it’s a difficult one, though.
Sondheim doesn’t fuck around.
So you shouldn’t be beating yourself up about cracking on some of the high notes and screaming into your pillow.
He feels like an idiot every time you ask him to give you constructive criticism.
He doesn’t know what to say. “That was good” is obviously not what you want to hear.
When the date of your audition rolls around, he has early morning practice.
So he sends you a text saying how far you’ve come already and he’ll be proud even if you end up being a tree and break a leg (he’s very proud of that part. Theater lingo with Akaashi 101)
He’s very pleased to hear through your extremely fast and animated chattering that you killed it.
You were going to be Jack from “Jack and the Beanstalk.”
He’s still not sure how that correlates with infertile bakers, but he’ll go with it.
You also have a notoriously hard solo, “Giants in the sky.”
Akaashi is very impressed.
All you two do is practice that song, until Akaashi is half sure he could sing the song if he really gave an effort.
(He tries seriously one time. He can’t sing. To save his life. Sorry Keiji and RIP y/n’s ears.)
“Maybe you’re just not a soprano?”
“I’ll leave the limelight to you.”
Rehearsals always leave you drained. There are so many dance numbers in the play that you have to go over.
And songs, oh god, the songs are pieces of work.
But you wouldn’t trade it for the world, so Keiji stays close, and is endlessly supportive.
You sent him a picture of your Jack costume, and Keiji is like that is kind of adorable ngl-
He walks into the auditorium you’re performing in, and even he’s nervous to be in there. It’s huge.
But when you walk on the stage, and start belting, all the breath leaves his lungs.
Oh. Ohhhhhhh. He understands the plot now.
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live-laugh-lenney · 3 years
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The One Where YN Meets Will.
Hello, hi!
I’m Emily, I’ve had this blog for a few months now and I’m not sure what I want to do with it, apart from reblog gifs of Will and catch up on all things Youtube and the Eboys and the Sidemen and all that. Thought about giving writing a go, since I’ve done some before on another blog for another fandom, and this came from my brain as an attempt at writing for WillNE.
I am willing to take requests or write anything that anyone wants me to write about, if anyone would like one written for a specific idea.
Hope you like it. x
A consistent buzz came beside her.
Rumbling on top of her bedside table, her phone laid overturned and ringing with an incoming call from someone, charging on the thick Stephen King book that she was halfway through reading, ripples rolling over the surface of the water in the tall glass placed next to it, that she took to bed with her the previous night. She glanced at the salt lamp, small and jagged-looking and emitting a dull orange glow behind the sunlight that streamed through her windows, and gave herself a tut for leaving it on overnight; she couldn’t remember leaving it on although she couldn’t help but give a mental clap at how truthful the benefits of having a Himilayan salt lamp had been.
‘MUM’
The three letter word flashed at her in bold text, above a candid photo that someone had taken of her and her mum in a heart-to-heart chat in the middle of a family barbecue that had taken a turn once her father had found the alcohol stash in the garage and turned a casual family get-together into a night where everyone stumbled over the front doorstep on their way out. A heart-to-heart conversation that had them both smiling brightly at one another.
“Mum, hi.”
“Hi, darling.” Her voice sounded so soft, so sweet, inviting and warm and YN missed her more than anything; if she had anything to say about moving miles away, she would always give the advice of making sure distance was something you could handle. “You sound tired, did I wake you? I thought you’d be on your way to work by now.”
YN looked at the red numbers on the screen of her alarm clock, reading 7:45, and she had a tiny freak-out for a brief moment before she came to the realisation that it was her day off and she wasn’t due into work until after the weekend had finished.
“You did, yeah. I’m not due at work today though. They gave me the day off since my boss’ schedule is just meetings out of town today. He’s up North for conferences and such and it was late notice for me so he didn’t mind me not accompanying him. I wouldn’t have been able to do much anyway,” YN clarified and she used her free hand to push herself up from the mattress. Her hair was knotted and pillow-messed, sticking up in all directions and falling loose from the ponytail she’d thrown it up in before she fell asleep. Her t-shirt twisted around her middle which she adjusted with her fingers, bringing her knees to her chest and staring out the window as the sun continued its rise in the horizon. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, don’t fuss about me,” she heard her mother tut from down the line. But YN couldn’t help but fuss over the two of them; if she lived closer to them, she wouldn’t worry so much because they’d be just a short distance away if they needed her help. But she didn’t live close and she hadn’t done for almost two years; she lived almost 300 miles northeast of where she used to live with her parents and it wouldn’t take her more than twenty minutes to tend to their needs. “We’re both fine, stop worrying yourself, darling. Your dad’s been back doing his gardening so he’s out there already. Watering his flowers, spraying fertiliser, cleaning all the fox poo up. He’s been growing some veggies in the plot next to the greenhouse so you can take some back when you next come to visit.”
YN smiled to herself, bringing her shoulders to her jawline before dropping them and relaxing against her headboard. The back of her head resting against the plush velvet, coloured a clean white, and her toes curled into the sheet beneath her, her fist clutching the duvet as she brought it tighter to her body.
“You can always send me some in a box? Or you could come and visit and drop them off yourself? You know I’ve got the spare room in the new place if you want to come up for a weekend. It’s vacant, just full of my empty moving boxes and bags that I haven’t gotten rid of yet,” YN said, a yawn creeping up her throat that she hid with the palm of her hand, “I need dad’s handyman work to come and help put some shelves up. You’ve not seen it yet.”
“Your dad said it’s a lovely flat. Lovely view. Lovely building. But, you know what he’s like when it comes to describing things. Everything’s lovely,” her mother snorted and YN laughed softly; her father had always been vague and she’s pretty sure that she’d never heard him use any other word to describe something other than ‘lovely’. “We’ve been talking about paying you a visit.”
“Please do. It’s a little lonely here by myself. I’m yet to meet new friends or have a chat with the neighbours. Everyone’s either back in Cornwall or back in Hackney and both are a hefty distance away.”
YN had never considered herself as an introvert so to call herself lonely felt strange.
She was always the friend who asked for the bill, she was the friend who made the complaint in a restaurant when a plate of food came back wrong, she was the friend who made advances on blokes in pubs and clubs because her friends were too shy to go and introduce themselves and she was the friend who always carried the responsibility of making polite conversation with people in pubs when they needed a table to perch themselves at. She was that friend. So making friends with strangers and starting conversations with her co-workers and approaching others who she found had kind features was never something she struggled with.
Moving to a new place and having to make new relationships and form new bonds, regardless of how far it was from the bonds and relationships you already had, she found it daunting to start fresh.  
“What are you doing today?”
“I’m not sure. The weather is really nice and it looks warm out so I might go and explore Canary Wharf and see what’s around. I need to do some shopping, food and furniture, so I might do some of that,” YN rolled onto her side and let her cheek rest against the cold side of her mattress, the backs of her thighs exposed to the cool air of her bedroom as her t-shirt rose up her body; and she made a mental note to buy herself so proper pyjamas because knickers and an oversized t-shirt could cause more problems than expected. “We’ve got a lovely grass area outside the block of flats so I might sit out there, soak up the sunshine, read a book and eat some lunch. I don’t know. Might see how the day goes, I have a good feeling about it.”
“Go exploring. You can find some places to show us when we come to visit,” and YN smiled.
“I’ll do that. You’ll love it mum. This place is amazing. I feel so lucky to have been given something as beautiful as this. I had a crack den for my first flat so this feels like a dream,” she stared at her ceiling. There was no yellow tint from how the previous tenants smoked inside and there were no unusually coloured stains on the ceiling’s coving that caught the eye because of how a stain of that colour shouldn’t have been there, leaving the mystery of just how it got there… and YN didn’t need that kind of stress over something like that. “It doesn’t smell like pee, there’s no syringes outside and there’s no sign of vomit or shit stains on the floor because it’s all laminate.”
“You deserve it, darling. You really do.”
“It’s clean, mum. It came clean, it smells clean, it looks clean. Everything looks brand new and,” YN pauses for a moment, rolling onto her stomach and she sighs with content, “I love it.”
*
After hanging up, she contemplated getting up and getting dressed for the day.
It felt rather tempting to stay in her comfortable loungewear and enjoy the silence, the time to herself and the time off she had been after for so long, taking advantage of Deliveroo and ordering food for breakfast, lunch and dinner rather than cooking something homemade and having the leftovers the next day (or for when she woke up in the early hours with a hankering for something to nibble on, because she could, because she didn’t have an authority figure to tell her no).
By the time her phone call ended with her mother, it was a little over forty-five minutes later and her alarm clock showed a time that she didn’t want to see on her day off; 8:35am. She expected another hour or two added on to her usual sleep schedule, to make a difference to the usual 6am alarm call that had her detesting her job just a tiny bit, but it wasn’t frowned upon because she’d take any given opportunity to speak to her mother. The one person she called her best friend because she really was the only person, apart from her father, that she’d drop anything and everything important for. Her sleep didn’t matter when she got to her the voice of someone she missed so dearly.
Porridge and fruit, a colourful array of strawberries and blueberries and bananas and cranberries in her bowl, and a warm cup of tea had been her breakfast as she caught up with the lifestyle Youtube channel she had been in the loop with. A Youtube channel that she had been a big fan of from the moment she moved to London, one who she turned to in times of need, one that she stumbled across when googling aesthetically pleasing ways to decorate a flat because she really needed to do something about how her Hackney flat had looked before a lick of paint and a hanging plant, one that she continued to view and like and followed tips from, even when it came to her new flat.
“Don’t be afraid to like monochrome and definitely don’t be afraid to follow a colour scheme that might seem ‘out there’ and in your face. If you like lime green then go paint a portion of your wall that colour. If you like the brightest shade of pink then go mad and add some colour to your life. You can never feel more organised than when your surroundings follow a consistent pattern that brings immense amounts of joy when you enter.”
The young girl on her screen, with space-buns either side of her head and an outfit that definitely came from a trendy thrift store clothes rail, sat before a wall of a delicious shade of peach that YN thought looked lovely; not for herself, because she’d stuck with the whites and the greys and the blacks that her flat already consisted of, but perfect for the young twenty-something year old.
“There are loads of websites where you can buy hanging plants, or artificial hanging baskets, and hanging canvas prints and wall art. I’m always looking for new things to buy so I’ll link some of my favourite online stores for you to check out; hit my Instagram mentions up with photos of things you’ve brought, too. That’s what I love to see.”
YN’s spoon clinked against the ceramic bowl in front of her as she pushed it away from her, reaching for her television remote and turning off her Youtube app, her television turning off completely and leaving a black screen behind. The flat falling silent. She looked around her, drumming her fingers against the tabletop, eyes squinting as the sunlight streamed through the wall-to-ceiling windows and made everything feel bright..
As much as she warmed to the idea of staying inside and ordering furniture and decor for her home, scrolling through online stores to buy something she thought she needed but really didn’t need, she had a good feeling about the upcoming day.
*
“Listen, love, I’m not sure if you could tell but I’m not exactly a people person. I don’t know you, don’t want to know you, have no plans to get to know you. You might live in the building but that doesn’t mean we need to be friendly.”
He spoke with such vigour in his voice that YN could only keep quiet so as to not entice a negative reaction out of him in such a confined space because confrontation was something she was never comfortable with. Sure, she’d endured confrontation before but that was from people she had been acquainted with, the ones she was friends with, people she saw on a daily basis and from people she worked with, from those who were supposed to confront her when something was wrong or hadn’t been down in a way it was supposed to be done; her boss, mainly. This man was a complete stranger, someone she didn’t know,someone she’d never seen before so instant regret filled her veins. She thought he looked friendly enough to start a quick conversation, to make the lift ride seem a little less boring, filling the empty space with general chit-chat.
Cowering away from him and almost closing in on herself, even though his attention stayed focused on the screen of his phone as he scrolled through a social media app, she thought he’d finished with her and she hadn’t expected him to perk up anymore.
“Not everyone likes to chat to strangers.”
“Well, I like chatting to strangers so don’t mind him,” a quirky Geordie accent perked up from behind her, her posture adjusting at the sudden appearance of someone behind her; she’s sure she didn’t see anyone else in the lift, apart from the towering bloke beside her, when she stepped into the lift but, then again, he was tucked away in the corner with a cap on his head and she had been looking at the floor as she entered because a mark on her white shoe had caught her attention. “Come chat to me, if you want. Promise I won’t bite your head off like matey-boy there.”
Her trainers squeaked on the floor as she spun around, eyes raking up and down his figure so she could get a good look at who the voice belonged to, almost staking him out in a way. He was a handsome chap, with brown hair sticking out from beneath a black cap upon his head that he’d pulled quite far down his forehead, a cheeky grin on his face that made the mood in the lift much brighter. There was a graphic print printed on the front of the black hoodie he had decided to throw on, the commonly-known Adidas stripes lining the length of his joggers, trainers on his feet with the laces loose and almost untying by themselves (clumsy, she assumed he was, because there’s no way he wouldn’t trip over them as soon as they loosened completely).
“I’m Will. Will Lenney.”
“I’m YN.”
“Do I get your surname? S’only fair since I told you mine.”
She laughed softly and replied with her surname, a look of appreciation on his features as he held his hand out for her to take, which she gladly shook with her own. Skin so soft, fingers so delicate, with a hold so strong that she couldn’t find herself letting go. She didn’t want to let go. This was the first contact she’d had with someone new, in a month of being new to the area, and it just so happened to be with someone she found rather attractive to the eye.
The bloke from before, who had tore down her attempts at being the friendly neighbour who he would, no doubt, see quite often, couldn’t help but let out the strongest sigh of annoyance. A sound that brought them back to reality, hands falling from their hold, dropping back down to their sides with a faint rosy-look on their cheeks that didn’t come from how warm it was. A sound that made the both of them turn their noses up, that made them their eyebrows scrunch on their browlines and made them want to really throw words at him until he gained some manners. Yet they ignored him because he wasn’t worth the time.
“You’re new here, aren’t you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” he started, adjusting the backpack on his shoulder that had slipped with the movement of his arm falling down to his side. His fingertips and right down to the middle of his palm still felt heavy with the thought of her hand still in his. “I’d remember such a beautiful face.”
The heat already on her cheeks reached boiling and she knew her flushed look caught his attention. His smile turning into a grin which had her looking at her feet, shyly. A handsome lad with a sense of immense charm about him; she liked him and it wasn’t typical of her to form an attraction at such an early stage.
“Yeah, I moved in about a month ago. Floor 10, right at the end of the corridor. A proper upgrade from where I used to be located but thanks to my work, they moved me from my previous office block to my current office block in Canary Wharf and said they’d move me closer if necessary,” she thought she was rambling and she expected a look of faint annoyance on his features that would silently tell her to shut up. She picked at the loose string hanging from the hem of her t-shirt and twirled it around her finger, looking up from her feet and seeing a look of intense concentration on his face, enticing her to carry on. “The move was necessary. Completely necessary. It wasn’t a nice place where I was before, it was the first thing I saw on the website and I was desperate for somewhere to live. If I stayed there, I would be half an hour away otherwise.”
Canary Wharf.
It was a complete upgrade from the streets of Hackney and the dingy flat she had become so accustomed to for a little less than a year; the smell of weed and tobacco would fill the corridors and hit her in the face when she left her front door, the lights were always dim and flickered and the lifts were rickety and untrustworthy, discarded bikes and scooters and old prams and baby-carriers littered the space between one end of the hallway to the other, suspicious figures dressed in black hoodies and grey joggers always greeted her with stone-cold faces and squared-up jaws. An attempt, she guessed, to look like they were the typical hardnuts of the complex and that they weren’t to be messed with, even if it was just a polite ‘excuse me’ to pass them by and to be out of their hair within a moment.
It wasn’t all bad, regardless. Her neighbours were sweethearts, they always said hello and invited her in for cups of tea and a slice of cake after she finished work, most people were kind and warm and had their own back stories as to why they chose such a place to live - she could only imagine that the building was a nice place to live, with residents who took care of themselves and the place they lived in, before London gangs took over and were on the high of increasing and before drug dealers became more frequent on the streets - and her life, thank god,  was never bothered. No one intervened, no one found her life to be their business to spread and life felt normal; she had a home, somewhere to live, somewhere to sleep and eat and shower and feel warm and cosy in a bed. Even if it wasn’t as nice as she had wanted it to be, she had somewhere.
Her new flat was almost dream-like if you compared it to what she lived in before. It made her Hackney flat look like a pit; a drug-den, if you will. She could wake up to pure sunshine filtering through double-glazed windows and there was no chance that she would be rudely woken up in the middle of the night from the ghoulish moans of the wind getting trapped between cracked window panes or the drunken yells of people stumbling down the hallways back to their homes. She could walk to her new place of work rather than hop on public transport and she could take the time to explore a side of London she never had the chance to see. Her floor was laminated wood, heated when the nights were cold, and there were no stains of garishly and disgusting colours of god-knows-what from previous tenants who had lived there. The view was beautiful, she could see right to the end of the horizon, and the scenes she was greeted with on her arrival home were almost picturesque… except pictures could never do it justice.
She’d been there for a month.
A whole four weeks.
And she could already feel improvements in her lifestyle that weren’t so bold before. She woke up happier and didn’t feel the need to stay in bed for a lie-in, she felt happier during the day and had a bob in her step that brought light to her office block, she felt safe when she walked out the reception and into the open space by the entrance and didn’t feel like she would be jumped by hiding predators if she arrived home late at night. She was friendly with her neighbours, always popped round to give them any post that had been posted through her mailbox by accident or if deliveries were left with them when she’d been at work and always started a conversation with them when they stood waiting for the lift to arrive on their floor.
“Oh, nice. What is it-”
The ding of the lift stopped Will mid-sentence, silenced them and halted their conversation as the doors opened to reveal the reception floor, empty and desolate from people. It was mid-morning, almost lunchtime, so YN had assumed most were working or out in the streets of London to enjoy the sunshine; the latter being what she had planned to do.
The man from the lift, who had tucked himself in the corner and stuck earphones in to block out their conversation, made sure he was the first one out and disappeared before YN could give him a sarcastic goodbye, not that he would have heard her anyway so she settled with a wave, a really exaggerated and over-the-top wiggle of her fingers, and hoped he saw it in the reflection of the window as he left and disappeared into the mass of people walking by their block of apartments.
“You’re a right character, you,” Will admitted, nudging her with his elbow and smirking at her, “what is it you do, job-wise? That’s what I wanted to ask.”
“I’m a PA for a CEO at an advertising company. A personal assistant who runs and gets coffee for everyone, gets lunch during her lunch-break, who organises meetings and creates schedules and gets the big boss what he wants when he wants it,” she clarified, “it’s not exactly the best job and I wish I was doing something I wanted to do but it pays well. For now, it’s enough to get me by and keep this place.”
They started walking toward the automatic doors of the entrance, feeling the cool air of the shade on their exposed skin that definitely disappeared as soon as the sunshine hit them, coming to a stop just by a brick wall. Young children were running around with their parents walking behind, cyclists were dinging bells to pass through large groups and groups of university students were huddled on the grass, eating lunches they’d brought from restaurants on their way, backpacks discarded and being used as pillows as they laughed and joked. Tourists were taking photos and posing to show off where they’d been and what they got up to when it came to showing their friends back home and businessmen and businesswomen were almost speed-walking to get back to their offices in time with a styrofoam takeaway lunch in their hands.
“I’m not keeping you from anything, am I? Just tell me to piss off if I am.”
“No, no. Don’t be silly. I’m only popping round the corner to see my mate. He won’t mind if I’m late,” he said, perching down on the brick wall and patting the space beside him. The legs of his ankles rose up to show the white ankle socks he’d paired with his trainers., “What is it you want to do as a job? Just, the way you talk about your job now makes it sound like you don’t like it.”
“I do like it there. But I don’t want to be a personal assistant, running round London to get coffee and sandwiches, for the rest of my life. I’ve always dabbled in blogging, taking photos, talking about nonsense and stuff. Posting videos and vlogging, too. I’ve tried it out as something fun, documenting holidays and stuff, and I’d love to do something with that and take it further but... I don’t know,” she sat down beside him, sliding her bag off of her shoulder and setting it on her lap, arm looped underneath the handles to keep it from spilling the contents inside, “I don’t want to be a social influencer but someone who does what she wants to do and gets by by just being herself. No companies to promote her or anything. Nothing to boost her. All her,” she stared off into the distance, tapping the heel of her foot against the concrete. Will nodded. “What do you do?”
“I, uh,” he scoffed out a laugh and rubbed the nape of his neck. His hat fell from his head and he decided to swap the shade of the cap to the sunglasses he had hanging from the neck of his hoodie, “funnily enough, I post videos on Youtube. I’m a Youtuber.”
Her head whipped round and she gawked at him. Eyes wide, mouth agape and her hand found his forearm, squeezing it tightly with excitement.
“You’re not?”
“I am, yeah. I was in university, didn’t like what I was studying, and I was told that if I really felt strongly about this Youtube malarky then I should pursue it to its possible potential and see where I end up. My mum’s words, not mine,” he snorted. He felt her hand loosen around his forearm and he watched her face become rigid as she came to the realisation of what she’d done. He dismissed it because he didn’t want to embarrass her but, really, he didn’t mind and he found it endearing.  “I’m not that big or popular or anything but I’ve got a couple million subscribe-”
“Not that big,” she mocked and rolled her eyes, “a couple million subscribers is huge. I’ll have to search you up. What’s your channel name?”
“WillNE. Like, Will then an N then an E. Like a-”
“Like a play on words with your surname,” she grinned as she proudly finished his sentence for him and he nodded, rather pleased with himself; and she had to give it to him, it was something special, unique and rather creative than some of the stand-out names she could think of from the platform. Some were really out there and had no relevance to who they were nor what they spoke about, some were vague and some were almost as bonkers as the people who came up with them. “That’s really cool. This is really cool. A famous Youtuber lives in my flat complex... I’m talking to a famous Youtuber right now... heck, I’ve managed to keep my cool around someone famous and I’m amazed I haven’t embarrassed myself. Wait till I tell my friends about this. They won’t believe me.”
“They’re not fangirls or anything, are they?”
“No, ha. If anyone’s the fangirl out of my friends then it’s me. I’ll find myself watching Youtube when I’ve got nothing else to do,” she admitted, “cooking dinner? I’ll stick someone on to watch. Can’t sleep? I’ll just binge watch someone until I’m tired. Day off and there’s nothing to do? I’ll find a channel and just let it go from there.”
“Maybe I’ll pop up on there one day. I’ll help cure your boredom,” Will grinned, “then you can say ‘hey, that’s one of my mates there on my telly, that is’.”
A comfortable silence swallowed the both of them as they sat and let the seconds tick by. The tweets of the birds came from above, distant chatter came from the students lounging on the grass behind, scuffs of soles signified people were walking and jogging nearby and despite the feeling of time coming to end between the two of them, neither of them wanted to leave the other, neither wanted to bring the conversation to an end and neither of them wanted to part ways.
“So, we’re mates, huh?”
“Yeah, I reckon so,” Will smiled. Eyes locking with hers for a brief second, long enough to catch the twinkle in her eye and the genuine smile that lifted up her lips, “you’re a good’un. I like you. I think we’ll get along really bloody well, me and you.”
*
(WILL’S TEXTS. YN’S TEXTS.)
Filming a video tomorrow. Fancy coming by?
Won’t I get in the way?
Bollocks will you. Come along. Please. You can see firsthand how to make a Youtube video since you said you’ve always thought about it.
Where?
Only at my place. A TWOTI.
This Week On The Internet… nice one. I’ll be there.
You’ve done your research on me!
Spent all day googling you. As soon as you walked away, I started my research and I cut my day short so I could come home and watch your videos. Just call me a superfan now.
Superfan, ha.
I’ll have to test you. Could get you in a video to see if you’re my biggest fan.
Try me. I’ll get full marks. Your subscribers will look like phonies compared to me, hahaha.
You might have to sit off camera, out of shot, tomorrow. If I don’t finish everything by the time you get here, that is. No distractions. No pulling faces behind the camera.
I’ll be on my best behaviour. I’ll fangirl at the door, drop my Twitter handle into conversation, ask for a signature and a photo and then I’ll be fine.
I’m not going to regret this, am I?
You won’t hear a peep out of me. Promise.
Come by after lunch then. We can get some takeaway for lunch or something, if you don’t eat before, and I’ll have some bits filmed by the time you get here so you won’t have to sit in silence for too long.
Make it 1pm and it’s a deal.
Why 1pm?
It’s Saturday tomorrow. I don’t get up before noon on the weekends. Not even for you, mister big-shot Youtuber. ;)
And here I was, thinking you would throw your routine away for your new best mate.
Nice try.. see you tomorrow, William.
Ohh, serious. Full name and all. I see how it is, YN.
Goodnight, you muppet.
See you tomorrow. x
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pytch-black · 3 years
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Ello, Im 19, looking for 16+
HEY, looking for RP PARTNERS Lemme know if yall want to do any of these?? I only RP on Discord @ pytchblack#8352 I only roleplay literate and up, I’m not for short and poo posts. I expect the same from my partners ples. Please only pm me if you also like to writer long posts, PLOTTING, making pinterest boards and playlists, and being friends too. I need help with muse ples!
Void On Mars-exploration on mars/civilization on mars/aliens/hybrids
Devil’s Playhouse-seven deadly sins/group home/guardian angel
My Beloved Fusion-post apocalyptic
Graveyard Sanctuary-ghosts, supernatural, humans, southern gothic
Midsummer Heights-post-pandemic cowboy life?
Middle realm- demons, angels and humans, 70s-80’s, detectives,
Monsters & Men- highschool/college mutants/cryptids/mythical creatures.(anthropomorphic possibly?)
Mythological RP-hades, persephone
Achilles and Patroclus(Brokeback mount olympus)
Side Show- freak show, horror circus, haunted, medica, cult
Lost in Space- Aliens adopt an aggressive human lost in space
Lost Paradise- dinotopia esque/humans and dinosaurs/secret civilization/massive cast of characters/
Watermelon Rind-flower/fruit/veggie people, facing trolls?(rose petal place inspired)
Single parent X Nanny
Witches of Salem(Familiar x Witch)
Cryptid Club-mothman adopts cryptids with no home, chaos, looking for love, fighting persecution/humans, other creatures
Phantom of the Opera spinoff?
Libertalia(pirate)
Victorian Era Drama
Historical Fiction(need ideas)
Buzzfeed Unsolved spinoff(oc’s..)
Prince and rival kingdom’s assassin, failed attempt…
Sky Fire-dragon/human riders/gladiators?
Highwaymen(something based off the country song!)
Peasant’s oldest offspring falling for a roman soldier they are forced to house. (Bit of angst, hate)
Then Came You
Red Dawn spinoff/inspire/guerilla warfare/invasion
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foofygoldfish · 4 years
Note
faith & alice for the ship meme 💋
General:
Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Till they die, pretty mucy
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - oh, very quickly - alice saw faith and pretty much instantly went oh
How was their first kiss? - 
Wedding:
Who proposed? - You know that one video of the two girls at the zoo proposing to each other at the same time? yeah, that happened with them, too.
Who is the best man/men?/ Who is the bridesmaid(s)? - oh I actually figured this out - for their first wedding, they didn’t have anyone, but for their second... a full list of the wedding party is at the end of this but their bridal parties: alice’s MoH is mary may, and her bridesmaids are hurk, hudson, grace, and claire. faith’s MoH is jane, and her bridesmaids are elizabeth, kim, and carolina! nick walks faith down the aisle, and alice’s uncle walks her.
Who did the most planning? - lol mary may. she was not happy that the two of them were happy with eloping.
Who stressed the most? - Both of them were nervous wrecks, honestly.
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - joseph and jake - john was only invited because he’s alice’s brother in law, and she was not happy about that...
Sex:
Who is on top? - Both of them, but usually alice
Who is the one to instigate things? - again, both of them, but usually alice - she’s always delighted when faith does, though
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - Oh, they can go for a pretty long time - they can go quickly, but if they’re able to take their time? they’re very happy
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - absolutely. faith does like to spoil alice, though
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many children will they have naturally? - Between the two of them? zero. with help from staci, alice has three - david, aria, and nicholas.
How many children will they adopt? - officially? four - carolina, claire, briar, and eloise. unofficially? anyone that passes through hope county, for any amount of time, that needs a home? they have one with them.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - faith, but when alice starts getting restless, she gets stuck on baby duty to keep her in prosperity.
Who is the stricter parent? - faith - she worries quite a bit more
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - faith - alice enables them, particularly claire slkfdj
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - faith, but mostly because she’s the one who can be trusted in the kitchen lol
Who is the more loved parent? - i’m... not typing out each kids preferences lskdjf - they all love their moms a fairly equal amount, and they adore their uncle staci and aunt stella. however - alice is the one that lets them get away with more, and won’t automatically discourage them from doing stupid shit that she would absolutely do herself
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - in the no-bomb and no-cult aus... faith, because she is much more patient, and much better at bribing people with cookies
Who cried the most at graduation? - staci sdlkjf (and alice - faith keeps it together until they’re home)
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - alice, but that’s just because of her connections lol
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - Faith, but mostly because Alice can’t be trusted with the stove.
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Alice will eat a variety of foods, but she can be particular about how certain things (like mac n cheese...) are made
Who does the grocery shopping? - for the no-cult or no-bomb aus - either will do solo runs over to the general store if they need something small/common, but their big stock-up trips to the city are all-day trips that they take together. faith usually does the list, though
How often do they bake desserts? - faith stress bakes. there’s almost always cookies in the house.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - faith slightly prefers veggies, but alice doesn’t care either way
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - alice, for a similar reason to chloe in my sherchlodine post - she doesn’t usually do the cooking. (to be fair - mary may helped her make the meal, alice just made it look nice lol)
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - alice - mostly because she’s so used to going to the spread eagle for food that it’s just... weird eating at home, y’know?
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - alice.
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - they both will, though... see the next question lol
Who is really against chores? - alice isn’t against chores, but she tends to need to be persuaded
Who cleans up after the pets? - alice - faith loves the cats and boomer, she does, but if she doesn’t have to clean up poop? she’s not gonna.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - ....alice.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - alice, holy shit. she tells mary may it’s the one thing she inherited from her mom - the need for the house to be clean when there is company coming. faith tells her that nobody cares, particularly in the “canon” verse where it’s the literal apocalypse, but she can’t help it, she’s gotta.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - alice, but probably because she dropped something else between them - 
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - alice, just because she usually touches up her hair when she takes a shower. though, for baths... faith usually tries to get alice to join her, which makes it take a while lol
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - alice, because faith refuses to pick up dog poo.
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - oh god alice goes all out, especially for halloween - her excuse for halloween is that it’s the day after her birthday, they have to let her decorate
What are their goals for the relationship? - ...stay alive?
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - alice. she’s perfectly happy working night shift, honestly
Who plays the most pranks? - alice lmao - she doesn’t do them on faith that often though. she’s gotten a few too many 🥺 faces from faith....
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flamebearrel · 4 years
Text
Some Dark Shade of Tired
Fandom: Super Smash Bros
Synopsis: Even in the World of Light, adventurers need their rest. Saving countless souls is never easy, after all. It's especially the case for the rookies, so when Villager finds himself losing sleep to someone's sobs he has no choice but to take action.
Word Count: 2114
Original Post Date: August 26, 2019
Characters: Villager, Ness (Minor/Mentions of Mario, Lucas, Paula, Jeff, Prince Poo, Galeem, Ness’s Family, Isabelle, Toon Link, Rosalina, Luigi, Trainer Red)
Ships: Ness/Villager (Can be taken as platonic or romantic)
Trigger Warnings: None
Other Notes: Ness has a lisp that only really comes out when his emotions go out of whack; I see Villager as a kid (like twelve years old); this is a sequel to Split Number One
Ao3 Link - Sequel to This
~~~
There were panicked, choked-up sobs coming from the cliff edge nearby when Villager woke up. He grunted quietly and shifted, glaring in the relative darkness. “Come on, who is up,” the little mayor hissed to himself. Any attempts of blocking it out proved futile, since the constant rays of light Galeem gave off were shining through the trees and into his eyes and the crying wasn’t stopping anytime soon. So he went to check it out.
Grazing his hand against a tree, Villager stepped over its roots and drew his gaze over the clearing. Once his eyes adjusted, he could just barely make out another fighter. Black hair… a striped shirt… a yellow-brown backpack clutched desperately against his chest… was that-
“I can’t do thith now,” Ness suddenly sputtered, cutting off Villager’s train of thought. “Out of all the timeth, not now, it can’t be now…!”
Yeesh. I… don’t think I’m qualified to help here. Villager backed up a little, pivoting to return to his sleeping bag. Ness wasn’t usually like that. He was supposed to be the confident, easygoing guy. Not… that. Whatever had gotten to him was probably something really private, which was likely something really deep and emotional, which was certainly not the mayor’s line of expertise.
…But he stopped halfway through his next step, because suddenly he remembered.
“You’re as much a part of this team as us, Villager. And we need your help just like you need ours.”
Mario’s words from before were rattling around in the back of his brain. They had never left, really, since even after they had cheered him up it still felt like he was barely helping. It wasn’t as if he was bad at fighting, but the others were just more experienced. Better. Aside from that, and providing everyone with snacks, Villager’s attempts to even out the burden-to-help ratio weren’t working.
So should he do something here? This was his chance to make up for it all, with one of his friends at that, and if he could run errands for the citizens back home then maybe it wouldn’t hurt to-
It didn’t matter what he decided anyway, because right then his overthinking was cut off by a burst of light. Whatever flickered behind him came completely out of the blue. The brunette squeaked and hurtled to the ground.
When Villager opened his eyes again, the other boy was staring at him.
The mayor shot to his feet. “Uh. Heeey, Ness.”
“How- how long have you been there?” came the tense response. 
“Doesn’t matter.” He’d play it cool. “What’re… what’re you doing crying out here? Really loudly? …In the middle of the night?” Okay, maybe that wasn’t so cool.
“Stop it! I’m not crying.”
“There are tears all over your face.”
Ness turned away. “It’th the PK Flash.”
Raising an eyebrow, Villager pressed, “Since when has that ever affected you?” The PSI user just shrugged. His hands were still fizzing with bits of green. “Come on now,” the kid in the No. 1 shirt continued, “there’s nothing to hide out here! Nobody’s gonna laugh at you, you know, if you’re the one saving the world.”
“…I don’t care if people laugh at me.”
“Oh?” 
“Well, I’m a laugh-y guy, right? Heh…” When Ness paused, it left the sounds of sniffles and the distant pummeling of a waterfall. “It’s worse when people get all worried.”
Villager ran over the sentence in his head. “It’s… worse when… Huh. I guess I never really thought about that.”
“Everybody’s got their own problems,” sighed the kid in stripes, “especially right now. You’ve seen it, I’m sure. You see how hard they’re taking everything, and the least you can do is be the big guy. Make sure you don’t worry ‘em even more.”
“Mm. …You know what?”
“I don’t really know a lot of things. Uh, what?”
“Of course we’re going to worry, but- if we get to, then you should too! Our team will only be as strong as the weakest of us, so we all gotta get stronger! And that doesn’t just mean physically. So go ahead and tell me… what’s wrong? I’m no Lucas when it comes to this stuff… but I’ll listen.”
Contemplation on Ness’s end, drawing out the seconds - one K.K. Slider, two K.K. Slider, will-he-ever-choose-K.K. Slider - until finally he set his backpack aside. “Okey,” he breathed. “Oookey.”
His violet eyes were some dark shade of tired when they met Villager’s.
“You see… I’m homesick again.”
The mayor blinked. “Wait wait wait, ‘again’? This is a recurring thing? I never knew you were homesick in the first place-”
“Well, I was! Why do you think I just randomly run off after matches? Whenever it happens, I can’t do anything until I call Mom.” 
Leaves were rustling in the wind behind them. Villager gave a sympathetic nod.
“It’s always been like this,” continued the PSI boy. “As soon as I left Onett to find the Melodies I started calling her, and then, when I got back, then it was Paula, Jeff and Poo, a-and- And I know it’s such a tiny thing. I know they’re just a call away; so I don’t make a big deal about it. ‘Cause I’m not gonna weigh everybody down when they’ve got real problems and mine are always just a single call away.”
“…You say always… except…”
Quietly, almost hysterically he snickered to himself. “Yeah, you get it. You get it! Now there’s no one to call, is there? Some angel alien thing lasers everything away and now Mom’s a Spirit, and Tracy and Dad, and nobody answers me anymore! And I need them, Villy! I mith- miss them so much, this ithn’t fun anymore… I want to go home, but I can’t, and I can’t ring up anyone either so the feeling’th not gonna go away! Which meanth I’ll be all weak and utheleth right when you need me, I can’t do thith now, not when you need me, I-I-I-”
A moment of pause as Ness scrubbed at his eyes. Shaking, he tried to take a breath, but when he opened his mouth another thought spilled out instead.
“And I hate thith lithp too! You can’t underthtand anything I’m thaying, all of it jutht-”
What happened next looked to Villager like some kind of distraction, because his friend shot to his feet and was suddenly very interested in doing yo-yo tricks. Walking the dog, rocking the baby, a million other tricks Villy didn’t know the names of but were probably more caretaking terms… until Ness was able to slowly calm down again.
“…Nice tricks,” the mayor offered.
Then, when Ness didn’t answer, Villager took the opportunity to try and figure out what he had just heard. What was he supposed to say? How could he say anything at all? As if some cheesy “they might be dead but they’ll always be alive in your heart” would… 
“Hey.” That wasn’t a terrible idea, actually. “Let’s go to Magicant.”
“Wh- What in th- Where’d that come from?”
With an awkward chuckle, Villager replied, “Trust me on this, alright? I know it makes no sense, but I want to show you something.”
Ness just sniffed and shut his eyes.
“So is… that a no, or-”
A pulling in the mayor’s chest cut him off, and then the world was pink and green and soft all around. As he steadied himself, he could see his friend nearby, buttoning up his pajama top. I wish I pocketed my pajamas. Then at least saving the universe would be comfy. Wait, not a good time.
“Here we are, O great mayor.” Taking a step toward the shorter fighter, Ness threw his hands out. “The train has arrived at the station. Now why are we here…?” Villager noted that despite the grand words and sweeping gesture, his friend’s eyes refused to meet anything but the floor.
Trying to figure out how to word his speech, the little mayor glanced to the side. It was there that a scene caught his eye. Just ahead, amidst a swirl of clouds and veggies, there was… a family. A blond woman was eating steak with her daughter. A man and an old dog sat nearby. All of them were smiling. And then the woman turned, and saw the two of them in the distance.
And she beckoned them to join in.
Something twinged in Villager’s chest. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re here because they’re here.”
“You can’t be serious…”
Smile fading fast, the kid in the No. 1 shirt snapped back to his friend. There was practically steam rising from the watery glare he met. 
“Eh-? What’s with that look? What did I say?!”
“We just came so you could get me off your back! Villager, this isn’t real, everything here is just in my mind-”
“It’s not like that AT ALL!”
The next thing he knew, Villager had pulled the taller boy down by the shoulders and to his level. Suddenly the world seemed to dim around them.
“Listen up,” the mayor ordered. “This is for a reason, got it? Now pay attention, cause I’m only making my point once.” Ness nodded, startled, giving Villager the chance to take a breath.
“I know this is your mind. No duh! But can’t that mean these guys are made from your memories? The perfectly real memories that you’ve amassed over who knows how long? These are the people you know- they look and act and care like you’ve always seen. If you’re in a place where you’ve literally made memories, where everything is familiar, and where everybody loves you… I’d say, technically, you’ve got a home right where we stand!”
A step back. Crossed arms. Villager nodded in the family’s direction as Ness took a long look, contemplative. That wasn’t enough, was it? He’d still have to…
“…And, besides this place… I get missing them. I understand! I miss my family, my villagers, the shopkeepers… I missed Isabelle until we found her! Even now, Toon and Rosalina! I even… I even missed you-!” Warmth was starting to tinge his cheeks from such openness. He cleared his throat. No stopping now.
“Uh. Uhh, and I’m sure everyone else misses each other too. Mario talks about Luigi all the time, and Lucas is keeping an eye out for Red… What I’m trying to say is, you’re not alone in this. Any of this! Not just in feeling homesick, either. If you feel down? Insecure? Like you’re the biggest burden anyone in the entire World of Light has ever seen?! …I get it. We… we really, really get it. And if everybody gets everybody, then that means right now, we can be your family, too.”
Whatever reaction Villager was expecting, it wasn’t this. Had he been the one hearing it, he’d be saying something, not just… staring. Admittedly the stare wasn’t too surprising; it was more the fact that Ness was smiling, sincerely, for the first time since he’d been saved.
“You really do mean it, huh…”
“Well… yeah.”
Then he was almost sent toppling. The kid in stripes practically tackled him, squeezing him tightly. After flailing a moment, the mayor managed to find some kind of balance. He huffed, “Okay, what’s this for, it isn’t part of my deal-”
“I’d never expect that from you,” Ness whispered. “Thank you.”
“…Blech! You’re so sappy.” In response to the PSI user’s smirk, he merely stuck out his tongue.
“Says the guy with the big old speech. Who, ya know, is hugging me right back~” 
And Villager immediately dropped his arms. “Y-YOU HAVE NO PROOF-” It was true, though. Lately lots of hugs had been going around. Just this once, he’d wanted to return one. “F… fine, I guess you’re not totally wrong… But you better not go acting like it’ll happen again.” Shaking his head, he moved to change the subject. “Nevermind that. Why don’t you tell me about them? Your family, I mean? There’s gotta be something interesting about ‘em for you to care so much, right?”
“Heh, lemme see… There was this one time Poo took a prank call… … …”
A few early risers the next morning, checking to make sure no one had been spirited away, immediately noticed they were down two fighters. Their epic search lasted only a few minutes. In the grassy clearing of the cliff edge lay the two, sound asleep. 
The others stared a moment at their light-dappled faces before deciding to leave them be. Quiet, content… those expressions… who would want to interfere?
For a single morning in Galeem’s World of Light, despite all the odds, their expressions shone like they were right at home.
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ON RUNNING AND DIETING (?) ok not really, it’s more body and health stuff. A note-to-self
Blogging on my other iphone, that’s why the caps are in order. I’ve lost about one kilogram even though I’ve been eating supper — which happens when I try to skip dinner but end up ravenous and clearing the fridge and breakfast counter of morsels leftovers — and a lot of dessert. Not sure why that is. Maybe it’s what I’m eating. Generally, if I’m doing a late meal, I avoid/don’t have any craving for carbs. I always want meat or sweets.
I’ve also been doing some light running, which actually doesn’t help at all with weight loss (when I was pushing myself to run further and for longer, I gained weight lmao. So now I keep it light), but it makes you full because you end up drinking a lot of water after a run.
I think I’ve also cut down on eating big meals for dinner. OK, not really. I often do fancy meals at night after work as a way of REMINDING MYSELF THAT IF IM A PART OF THIS CAPITALIST SYSTEM I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY WHAT IT OFFERS jk (p.s. can we talk about the way non soc sci/arts majors or ppl uneducated on the concepts in general misuse the word capitalism and communism because they want to make some smart, witty comments. I usually don’t correct them; that’s just not my thing because I don’t “know it all”. Though I am laughing at them on the inside because I have my condescending af moments. The only time I ever thought to correct was when this girl doing a presentation in architecture on Impressionism referenced Naturalism and talked about it being a movement of painting nature. I waited for the TA to say something, but she never did)
Wow I sidetracked. Point of this post is I love seeing the numbers go down each time I weight myself, but I’m also not a calorie counter. Honestly i couldn’t give a fuck, I’ll eat what I want as long as I don’t overdo it
But some learning points for myself.
How to eat less
- go to work (I really eat less when I’m working at work because I feel stressed and uncomfortable and am constantly in fight mode)
- buy a heavy lunch; eat 2/3 for lunch and 1/3 for dinner and enjoy a full dessert. You can split the dessert for both lunch and dinner too
- drink unsweetened tea with your meals
- practise eating smaller portions of rice. Eventually you get used to it that anything more than a 1/2 or 2/3’s a bowl seems too much
- it’s OK to not eat on time. Because it depends on what time you sleep anyway. Just be sure not to sleep immediately after eating. You will feel like shit
- trust your body. Does it feel warm? Can you feel the sugar in your blood? GET UP AND GO FOR A WALK/RUN
- eat balanced meals. And I don’t just mean greens and lean meats and a small serving of carbs. I mean a savoury-sweet-smoky sort of balance.
- avoid sweetened drinks. Sweet beverages aren’t a lot of fun anyway. Save the sugar for dessert.
- if you have IBS, yes, I know it sucks. But make use of it to help you cut down on food
- AVOID MOST COFFEES AND ALCOHOL YOU GENERALLY DONT LIKE THESE ANYWAY and they MESS UP YOUR GUT FOR THE DAY SO STAHP PLS
//
On running and why i should keep doing it and how I can keep doing it
- HELPS WITH ANXIETY. Heart no longer pounds like crazy when I spot roaches. I can climb the stairs just fine. What a beautiful feeling.
- sucks that they changed the street lamps to fluorescents instead of the dim orange ones, and now I can feel myself looking like a sweaty, beastly and pasty thing doing circuits at midnight. But ok, I’ll find a route that works ie. I can run up and down that short strip where the street lamps still glow orange
- I will always care about how I look when running. And that’s fine. I’ve accepted that. What’s important is to choose what time I want to run. 10.30pm-past midnight works. Running late doesn’t keep me up at night. In fact I sleep better when I run at night.
- running keeps my hair from being oily. My hair gets greasy easily (likely from years of overwashong and ruthlessly stripping it of natural oils — I used to wash twice a day. I still wash it twice a day because I can’t stand the feeling of unwashed hair, but now I keep it to one shampoo wash and one no ‘poo wash in a day)
- correct your running posture. Try not to lean forward so much. Unclench your fists
- WARM UP BEFORE AND AFTER RUNNING
- run 1-2 times a week. Keep the runs short and fun, so you don’t dread them
- keep discovering new music to listen to when you run
//
HOW TO DEAL WITH IBS (?) I’m self-diagnosed lol
- stand up or walk around after food
- consume a light breakfast and drink water in the morning - helps with bowel movement
- bathe first so you don’t waste time wondering if you’re going to have a bowel movement
- a simple zao cao routine helps shout-out to my chinesey high school for introducing this to us
- dont eat a heavy breakfast or lunch when at work; it’ll ruin your productivity and ability to focus for the rest of the day and severely upset your stomach
- bread generally causes you less problems than rice and noodles
- ramen broth is a no no
- raw salmon sashimi is also a no no
- you’re lactose intolerant: avoid milk teas and other milk-based drinks for breakfast and lunch
- VEGGIES AND FRUITS
- try not to eat dry rice
- try not to eat brown/red rice. This gives you constipation
- try to eat cooked veggies as far as possible, bcos uncooked veggies can also cause you constipation
- exercise helps with bowel movements
- Train yourself to have bowel movements only at the start/end of the day
- wake up a bit earlier before work to give your body some time to get used to being alive and awake again lol and also to decide if it has to poop
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easilyamused · 4 years
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Yoga for Constipation
youtube
Yoga For Constipation
10 Minutes Yoga Class For Constipation | Yoga Postures for Digestion and also Constipation Relief
Yoga has long been understood for the many health and wellness advantages it supplies. Today our fast yoga class will consist of yoga postures that aid with digestion as well as relief from constipation.
I will likewise offer a few ideas that will assist you relieve and heal several digestive ailments including gut bloating, gas, ibf, ibs, stomach level of acidity, ibd, ulcerative colitis, intestinal tract cramps, colon problems, and constipation.
This 10 minute yoga class might restore your stomach to harmony. I hope the presents offer relief. They are the very best exercise collection to alleviate simple as well as sometimes complex digestion issues.
This is a very easy beginner yoga demonstration exercise sequence that any individual can do at any time of day. You could need to duplicate it several times to really feel much better, boost your power, and also lower fatigue.
This routine can usually take care of the issue. When various other therapy principals do not function. Notification exactly how the steps make things go for you.
Start your days by consuming great deals of water. The more you moisturize, the better your digestion will certainly function. I likewise advise a clean diet plan with whole lots of all-natural fiber discovered in whole grains, veggies as well as fruit.
Try not to overeat. Combine these principles to all or component of your regular and deal with digestion and constipation completely.
Begin pushing your back with your feet put underneath your seat. Carefully shake your knees side to side to carefully twist.
Following bring your feet to touch and also butterfly your knees apart.
Pertain to tranquility as well as draw both knees right into your stubborn belly. This puts pressure on your colon and also helps with digestion to ease constipation and also gas.
This easy yoga pose offers a starting indicate twist deeper. Go down both knees to the left and remainder. Notification the pressure on the appropriate side of your abdominal area.
The ascending colon gets on the right side of your lower abdominal areas. In this way we follow the journey of final elimination.
Next unwind the twist as well as hug the knees into the abdominal area. This taxes your transverse colon. Simply take a breath as well as feel the pressure.
Currently drop both legs to the right and also really feel the pressure twist the left side of the tummy where the coming down colon is. You could pass gas in this collection. If you do you know that it is working.
Untangle the twist as well as area stress on the transverse colon by drawing your knees securely into your breast.
Next we add strength to the twist position with eagle legs. Cross your ideal leg firmly over your left. Hug both knees in and also after that drop them to the.
Untangle and also repeat beyond.
End up the back sequence with delighted child yoga pose to open up the hips and also relax the groin location.
Surrender to table top for a couple of round of cow and also cat yoga moving or vinyasa collection. The free flow of these hatha yoga movements can be restorative to your poo system.
We relocate onto the stomach to promote digestion with back bending as well as reinforcing yoga asanas, or presents.
Complete in child's yoga pose or balasana. I explain three variants on the position that could aid with digestion and also constipation.
I hope this video clip has healed your digestive system concerns. I have a longer video on my healthy yoga series if you intend to do more everyday yoga for constipation and digestion.
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Watch now at FreeYogaClub.com
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therkalexander · 5 years
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If I bake you cookies will you tell me what you know about the show? Also on a non-POO basis- how do you get your son to eat anything?
Ohhhh, I can’t say shit about shit. Not for all the cookies in the world. On a related note, here’s a pie I made last week...
But nope. I can’t say anything just yet. It’s too precarious, too nebulous just yet to have anything concrete to report until I retain an entertainment lawyer. And once I do that I will definitely let everyone know because that will mean the option will be on the table at the very least.
.
As for getting my son to eat...
I’m in a bit of an easy situation in that regard. He has my zeal for food, and my husband’s eerily high metabolism, so I’m effectively parenting a black hole.
An occasionally picky black hole.
I have a snack bag that I haul with us everywhere I go, replete with squeezey packets, Cheerios, snap pea crisps, veggie straws, cut up hotdogs or chicken, and leftover oatmeal or pumpkin pancakes.
I can get him to eat more variety at breakfast than I can at dinner, so I usually introduce whole fruits like blueberries, strawberries, peaches, etc at that point.
Lunch is either the disparate contents of the snack bag if we’re out and about, or a quesadilla or peanut butter sandwich when we get home.
My husband and I have started doing “afternoon tea” with him when he wakes up from his nap, because it helps quell the savage beast while I make dinner and still puts him in visual range of the kitchen. He likes chai or heavily milked, lightly sugared decaf black tea.
Dinner is tricky because he’s starting to fade and doesn’t have the patiences to get food on a fork or spoon. And if he had a snack at tea time he’s even less likely to eat his whole dinner. We feed him what we’re eating, and if he doesn’t want it I usually default to rice and lentils or mac n cheese.
And vegetables... which is always an uphill battle... I have a local farmers market I go to almost every week and basically set him loose there to pick out his own fruits and veggies. He used to hate peas until he found out that they could be picked out of a pod that he gets from one of my local farmer friends, and now he insists on them. But only if they’re still in the pod. He will eat zucchini, but doesn’t like it cooked; only raw. Same with carrots. He likes corn but only on the cob. And I’ve definitely hidden cauliflower in his fruit smoothies and spinach and kale in pesto sauce for his ravioli.
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eviesmyspiritanimal · 5 years
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Girl’s Trip Part 4
Summary: Evie, Mal, Uma, Audrey, and Jane go on a road trip to the beach for a three-day weekend. Evie’s driving and has road rage, Uma constantly pesters Audrey, Mal thinks it’s all kind of funny, and Jane’s wide-eyed and lovably clueless as usual. Friendship feels plus Jaudrey, Huma, Jarlos, Bal, as well as Hades and Mal father/daughter feels.
  “Ladies…. I do believe that I need to use the restroom. Like in an urgent sort of way,” Audrey told them all, desperately having to pee.
  “What? You gotta go poo-poo?” Uma asked as if she were talking to a child. Audrey leaned away from her disgustedly and she slapped Uma’s arm. Mal worked diligently to hold back her mirth at the pink princess’s expense as her shoulders shook. However, Uma wasn’t quite as sparing in her laughter, and she unashamedly made fun of Audrey.
  “You uncouth beast! I have to pee!” Audrey announced, and Mal started scanning the side of the road for a place to stop in an attempt to take her mind off of the urge to laugh.
  “Good timing, Audrey. Charlene’s nearly out of fuel, so you guys be on the lookout for a gas station,” Evie instructed as she drove.
  “I see a town up ahead,” Jane acknowledged, and Audrey was almost bouncing in her seat as she tried to hold it.
  “Don’t worry, Audy, just think of waterfalls and rivers and the sound of a toilet flushing,” Uma described, leaning close to the brunette’s ear. Audrey eyed her angrily with a scowl.
  They passed the last tree on their way through the forest and entered civilization once again. Audrey could feel her bladder about to bust and her leg bounced a little more furiously as she spotted all of the different opportunities for restroom-using.
  “There’s a Hearts,” Uma told them, and Audrey excitedly looked over at the big heart on the sign.
  “That place is no good. The last time I stopped at Hearts, there was no premium fuel available, and Charlene only takes the best,” Evie firmly informed them. Audrey felt her urge to pee grow a little stronger, and she bit her lip.
  “Okay, then… What about that Speedtrack?” Jane asked, and Evie shook her head.
  “Crappy selection of drinks,” Evie negated, continuing in her driving. Audrey held back a whine and held her legs together a little tighter.
  They had nearly left the town when Mal, the wonderful human being that she was, spotted one last opportunity for Audrey to pee and for them to get gas.
  “Here’s something called a Jify-Journey,” Mal pointed at the gas station on the side of the road. It was a terribly run-down looking little place and it looked like it’d barely pump anything, much less premium gas like Evie had originally wanted.
  Evie started to say something, no doubt in negation of Mal’s suggestion, but Audrey quickly interjected.
  “JUST FLIPPIN’ TURN!” Evie begrudgingly pulled into the parking lot. Evie carefully wheeled in front of a pump and brought Charlene to a stop.
  “Okay, you guys, let me feed the beast, and I’ll meet you inside,” the bluenette spoke, turning around to face them all. However, to her surprise, Audrey had just crawled over Uma’s lap and ran out the car door.
  After a few moments of silence, Uma grinned, dispelling the surprised atmosphere at Audrey’s quick escape.
  “Well, I guess she really did have to go,” Uma commented, turning and sliding out of the car door herself.
  Audrey practically charged through the doors as she ran to the counter with an air of urgency that was not unlike the Queen of Mean. She slammed her hands on the counter, staring at the woman with wide eyes. The lady behind the counter jumped in surprise as she looked up from her task of counting the money in the cash register.
  “Where is the restroom?” Audrey demanded, bouncing in place a bit as she resisted the urge to pee.
  “Well, honey,” the woman started, and it was obvious that she was from Bayou de Orleans, “it’s right on back ‘dere on dat door to de right.” Audrey made a break for it as she rushed over to the hall desperately making her way to the toilet.
  She opened the door and was immediately greeted with a nearly unholy smell. Audrey gagged, feeing her insides wrench with the motion. She stepped forward and dared look at the porcelain throne and was horrified to see that it was very much clogged.
  Audrey covered her nose with her hand, leaning against the door in an attempt to keep what little was left of her breakfast down.
  “Why ain’t you peeing?” Uma questioned, raising an eyebrow as she suddenly materialized beside the pink princess. The need to puke was quickly replaced by the need to pee, and Audrey recoiled disgustedly at the sight of the restroom as she started bouncing on the spot.
  “Somebody sure trashed this bathroom,” Uma spoke aloud, surveying the little room with a slight grimace.
  “I can’t use this bathroom,” Audrey announced, and she looked around, feeling as if she were going to burst.
  “Well, go behind the building. Right out this door, see?” Uma pushed open the back door that led to the forest behind the place.
  “I think not! I am a princess!”
  “You planning on going in your pants, then, Princess?” Uma sassily asked her, and Audrey worriedly shifted her gaze between the open back door and the toilet inside the horrifying gas station.
  “I just… I need privacy, and what if someone sees me back here?!” Audrey squeaked, and Uma shook her head exasperatedly.
  “Are you worried about the chipmunks or the squirrels staring at your naked butt?” Uma asked, and Audrey shot her one last dirty look before finally deciding she would go outside. It was purely necessity that was driving her through that door, and she honestly couldn’t believe she was lowering herself to such a depth.
  On the other side of the store, however, things were going much less disgustingly.
  “Okay! Charlene’s all filled up,” Evie told Mal, the only one of the group that had stayed with her until she was through fueling the car. The bluenette stepped up into the Jeep and sat down, cranking the vehicle. “Mmm, mmm, mmm, listen to that hum,” Evie patted the wheel firmly with a loving gaze thrown at the car’s gas gauge. “That’s my little girl. Sounds just like her mama.”
  Mal raised an eyebrow, equally creeped out and amused by Evie’s love for the Jeep. It was almost like she thought she gave birth to it or something.
  “I think you like Charlene a little too much. Let’s park her closer to the building and then,” Mal paused dramatically as she looked at Evie from the passenger seat, “it’s snack time.”
  Evie grinned in response and drove around to the storefront, parking Charlene. They then both got out and walked in.
  “Welcome to Jify-Journey! How can we help you ‘dere?” the cashier greeted.
  “We’re just grabbing some roadtrip snacks, but thank you,” Eve politely replied, and the two girls wandered over to the bagged snacks.
  “Hey, E? Do you think Uma would like Doritos?” Mal questioned, picking up a chip bag. Evie glanced over from looking at the potato chips.
  “Sure. Be sure to get some spicy ones, though. She’ll probably really love that,” Evie instructed, pointing at the red bag. Mal took it off of the shelf and started searching for something for Audrey and Jane.
  “Mal? Do you want the Fritos or the barbeque chips? You’re really particular about that sometimes,” Evie checked, holding up two bags. Mal shrugged her shoulders and pointed at the barbeque chips.
  “Jane might like the Fritos, though, so keep both of them,” Mal told her as she tried to figure out what she thought Audrey would like.
  “Do you think veggie straws will work for Thorn?” Mal questioned. Evie simply nodded and took them from her. They were just about to go back to the cash register before Evie caught sight of a whole shelf of bright wrappers and boxes.
  “Look at all the candy!” Evie exclaimed and Mal hurried behind her as Evie stared at all of the various candies, completely mesmerized.
  “M! Look! Oreos!” Evie cried and Mal couldn’t help but compare her sister to an excited little girl. Mal walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist fondly.
  “Yeah. Which kind are you getting?” Mal asked, despite the fact that she already knew exactly what Evie would pick. The bluenette looked at her with a raise of her eyebrow before picking up a package of original Oreos.
  “Of course,” Mal nodded her head and Evie just grinned before looking through more of the selections.
  “Mal? What is M&M’s?” Evie questioned, picking up a box that pleasantly rattled when she moved it. Mal raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer to look at it.
  “Looks like some kind of chocolate,” Mal assessed, and she glanced at the bluenette who had an adorable pout on her face. Mal squeezed Evie tightly before letting her go.
  “E, if you want it, then get it. It looks good,” Mal told her, and Evie’s eyes lit up excitedly. Mal felt her heart ache painfully for her friend, knowing how much Evie the brown-eyed girl valued sweets since they were so rare on the Isle. Mal guessed it was probably hard for Evie to realize that she could just buy them easily now.
  “What about these? Or these? Ooh! And these?” Evie picked up several containers of various types of chocolate candies, and Mal nodded her head with a fond smile before they headed over to the drinks that were available.
  Mal quickly grabbed out a bottle of chocolate milk from the refrigerators and handed it to Evie, taking a bottle of strawberry punch for herself. She then withdrew a plain milk container, a bottle of water, and some green tea for the other girls, and her and Evie headed over to the cashier.
  As soon as they reached the counter, they saw Jane leaning on the counter and scratching at a piece of paper.
  Mal furrowed her brow and looked at Evie, but the bluenette was currently way too invested in her chocolate to even acknowledge Mal’s questioning gaze.
  Mal walked over to Jane with Evie in tow and she looked over the younger girl’s shoulder.
  “What are you doing?” Mal finally inquired and Jane jumped in shock as she tried to hide the paper behind her back.
  “Nothing. Nothing at all,” Jane lied, and even if Mal hadn’t seen Jane with the paper, she could easily see right through the fib. The purple-haired girl snapped her fingers to the left of Jane to temporarily distract her, and she reached around her back and took the ticket.
  “‘Win Big Bucks! Scratchums!’” Mal read the front of the paper and she grinned at Jane mischievously. The blue-eyed girl looked terribly embarrassed and ashamed of herself. Mal walked over so that she was standing beside her, and shouldered her gently, pointing to the card.
  “So, have you won anything?” Mal asked, and Jane looked a little calmer once she realized it was not against the rules, or at least that Mal wouldn’t judge her over it.
  “No, but I might with this ticket. So far, all the numbers seem to be lining up,” Jane grinned wildly and Mal took the coin from the counter, offering it to her.
  “Go, girl. See if you get anything,” Mal told her with a smile, and Jane leapt into action, scratching away at the card.
  After a few seconds, Jane gasped and squealed, hopping up and down as she practically shoved the card in Mal’s face.
  “LOOK! I got five dollars!” Jane proudly exclaimed and Mal forced an excited grin for her benefit. Five dollars really wasn’t that great, but Mal figured it was better than nothing at all for the girl’s efforts.
  “Cool!” Mal replied.
  They paid for their snacks and they were just starting to head out the door when Mal suggested that they all pee just in case they needed to go later in the trip. Evie easily agreed, saying that it would reduce the amount of stops they’d have to make.
  Mal, followed by Jane, strode to the back of the store. Evie was going to come back after she had loaded the Jeep with the snacks.
  When she reached the hall, however, the faerie’s eyes widened as she saw Uma leaned against the doorframe of the exit leading to outside.
  “Where’s Audrey?” Mal asked, and Uma groaned.
  “Don’t ask me where she’s at, ask me where’s she’s been. That girl’s been running around the back of this store like a chicken with its head cut off, insisting that none of the spots she chooses to pee at are good enough,” Uma complained.
  “Why didn’t she use the toilet in here?” Jane questioned, furrowing her brow.
  “Take a look for yourself if you’re that curious. However, let me warn you, it induces immediate barf.” Mal nodded, understanding exactly what Uma meant, and she walked over nearby the door so that she could speak to Audrey.
  “Thorn, do you think you could hurry it up out there? There’s a line,” Mal told her.
  “I’m working on it! I just can’t bring myself to go out here!” Audrey whined.
  “I can help with that!” Uma called, grinning at Mal as she pounded her fist into her palm. Mal rolled her eyes and leaned against the opposite side of the doorframe.
  Soon enough, Audrey came back in and they each took their turns. Before long, they were back in the Jeep and on the road again.
  “Here, Audrey, we got you some green tea and veggie straws; Uma, we got you plain milk and spicy Doritos; and Jane, we got you Fritos and water,” Mal handed all of the items back to the three passengers behind her and there were varying expressions of gratitude amongst them.
  “And you’re free to any of the chocolate in this bag,” Mal told them, passing it to Uma.
  The dark-skinned girl sifted through the bag with a bored expression, but it shifted to a more curious look as she pulled out a wrapper full of Whoppers. She opened the wrapper and popped one into her mouth, her entire face lighting up when the flavor burst into her mouth.
  Audrey took the bag from Uma and passed it to Jane. The younger girl opened the bag and examined the contents carefully before withdrawing a box of M&M’s. She happily chomped on her candies and gave the bag to Audrey.
  The pink princess started to send it up to Mal, but she paused upon the sight of a certain color of wrapper. She quickly reached inside to withdraw a York Peppermint Pattie. An almost childlike expression of wonder was immediately on her face as she opened it and took a big bite. She hummed blissfully as she contentedly chewed the chocolate and the filling.
  “That looks good. Mind if I have a bite?” Uma innocently questioned. “I’ll give you some Whoppers.”
  Audrey immediately lost whatever sweetness was on her face in favor of a greedy monster as she clung to her chocolate.
  “Mine!”
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djseaward · 5 years
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my zero waste progress (& DIY oat milk recipe!)
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you'd have to be living under a rock to not have heard the term "zero waste" thrown around. next to "adaptogen", i am predicting it's one of those buzzwords of the last year. and why not? even though it sounds like a phase and trendy, i am whole-heartedly on-board with zero waste becoming a thing that we just all do without thinking! zero waste doesn't have to mean that you absolutely create no waste at all, but an overall catchphrase for people trying to make steps to cut down on waste in order to live as zero waste as they possibly can in that time of their life.
making substitutes and compromises for the good of humanity and the planet. i'm all in for that. it also goes hand in hand with a thifty, frugal and minimalist lifestyle.
so i wanted to share some "zero waste" or more ecological changes i've made over the past year and some goals of mine for next year. maybe it’ll give you some ideas or hopefully inspire you a little to try something out! 
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i feel proud that 2018 was the year that we've really hunkered down and got more serious about zero waste and the switch to a more ecological, sustainable household.
pre-2018 there have been some really ecological switches we've already made. we started composting within the first two years or so that we moved to budejovice, and lucky for us, our landlords have a compost heap that they kindly let us put our bio into, which in turn fuels our building's garden! pretty neat. since we started doing this, we only have to take out the (small sized bin) trash about once every three weeks! hooray! that may sound strange, but there’s nothing stinky in there since we have a separate compost container which is emptied once every couple of days (choose something with a lid that closes completely!).
of course we've been recycling (no brainer), always bring shopping bags with us when we go (always on foot) to the supermarket and throw almost no plastic away.
we also had been using old holey socks as a dusting rag and plastic produce bags as "saran wrap". we've never bought saran (plastic, cling) wrap here before.
since the beginning, we've bought compostable dog poo bags for ferdie. (tip: it's better to dispose of these in bio bins vs. trash bins where they'll decompose slower because the trash isn't allowed to aerate like the compost is)
i'm very passionate about purchasing only recycled toilet paper as entire areas are deforested just to make new, fluffy toilet paper. #knowbetterdobetter
we bring our own containers, cups and utensils when we travel or go on day trips. i’ve found that glass jars make excellent “tupperware” containers as well as impromptu wine glasses for a picnic. if i were in the market for a new travel tumbler, i’d definitely spring for a stojo collapsible tumbler! that’s always my problem that i bring my tumbler and then it takes up space for most of the trip, unused.
alex is very adamant about unplugging nearly every appliance when not in use. with how expensive electricity is in europe, it helps a lot not to having a computer sucking it up! it's also much better for your battery appliances to unplug from the wall as soon as they are finished charging, so you're also taking better care of your things.
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here are some recent changes we've made just over the past year.
-- eliminating use of aerosols. i personally decided i wouldn't buy any more, but the problem for a long time had been: where the heck can you find non-aerosol shaving cream? i found my answer in d'fluff shaving cream in a tub from LUSH. it smells like their rockstar soap and although it doesn't foam, i'm down with this change!
-- we switched to bamboo toothbrushes, which i had to order by mail because previously, there were no local shops that sold them! i have since found a couple so i think we're good to go now. before, i ordered from the bam and boo, which sent them so quickly even with a special, personalized note in czech which i thought was so sweet as they came from portugal.
-- choosing bar soap vs. liquid soap which has to be sold in packaging.
-- eliminating purchasing anything with palm oil or high fructose corn syrup (or glucose-fructose syrup, as it's known here). for years i believed in the myth that HFCS was banned in europe, but you can still find it in everything!
-- the switch from typical supermarket laundry soap and dishwasher tabs to an eco-label laundry soap (made from soap nuts) which is highly concentrated and therefore more ecological and more earth-friendly dishwasher tabs. both of these switches are more expensive than what we used to buy, so i totally understand going more eco-friendly isn't for everyone and all budgets. however, if you wouldn't notice an extra few dollars here and there, why not make this simple switch? i like the czech brand of laundry soap tierra verde out of brno. (why is everything cool is out of brno these days?)
-- switching from disposable feminine products to a medical-grade silicone menstrual cup has been a complete.game.changer. it's one of those things you kick yourself for not getting much much earlier. did you know a tampon applicator takes 500 years to break down? i went with first greener and am really pleased  that i did. as a menstruating human, this seems like one of the single biggest improvements you can make to take steps towards zero waste. cost was an barrier for me with this and not being able to shell out for one for awhile, but the company i purchased from often runs deals for only $10 (that includes international shipping). i’m pleased some companies are making menstrual products more accessible to women of all income levels.
-- right at the end of the year, i finally found reusable produce bags that were a reasonable price. hoorah!
-- we have nearly stopped buying paper towels, using regular old towels or other cloths instead.
-- purchasing our vegetables in the warmer months from a local CSA (community supported agriculture) vegetable box program cuts down both on plastic wrapping, supports local south bohemian farms and is just a fun, healthy way to make sure we eat loads of season veggies. it also challenges me to stop being lazy and cook or make something with them before anything goes bad. (for my local budejovice friends: you can order a vegetable box starting usually around june from u dobraka)
-- alex says he's most proud of our household's switch to alternative milks vs. dairy milk. this helps loads with water consumption, is far more ecological, and much more animal-friendly.  (alternative milk recipe at the end of this post - woo!)
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changes i would like to make in 2019
-- one of my challenges is zero waste hair products. most drugstore products are aerosol or just the typical tube. i think i will end up purchasing from LUSH's hair line as not only have i already raved about their products but i so appreciate their commitment to reusable packaging, as well as their vocal stance against animal cruelty.
-- do better with food waste. i have already eliminated a lot of issues i’ve had with food waste over the past year and meal planning helps SO MUCH with not only reducing waste, but also saving some crowns. i’ve made some great strides in the past year, i’d like to do even better in 2019 getting my food waste down to 0%. laziness can be a big (bigbig) factor here, and that’s a tough one to overcome! i will also try making or buying less products that i don’t finish.
-- i'd like to remember to start taking what few glass empties i have back to a supermarket to get a refund. this is extremely common practice in germany, but not quite as common here, and we normally just go to the normal glass recycle bin. it would be nice to start getting a few crowns back here and there vs. nothing!
-- i'd love to invest in a set of cloth linen napkins i'm actually proud to use! will look to a thrift shop or bazaar before checking a store.
-- collectively, one of our main focuses as a household is a reduction in goods which use plastic, single-use, throw-away packaging, such as musli, for example. buying musli or any cereal here in the czech republic is such a headache -- it is either expensive or contains palm oil, for the most part. there is one brand i like, but i find i am eating it over and over and get so tired of it. any of you out there DIY your musli or cereal? please share your wisdom!
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easy DIY recipe: oat milk
one of my big goals is to DIY even more. i already do quite a fair bit of DIY in terms of household products and foods, sauces that i can't buy in the czech republic, but i'd like to DIY more with products i already buy to avoid excess packaging and saving money. in the first few days of the year, i've already decided i will no longer buy oat milk at the store (40kc or $1.70 per liter) and instead, make it. it is startlingly easy to do, takes only 10 minutes of active time and can be a huge money saver! this recipe also happens to be zero waste as you can use the remnants.
you'll need...
-- a blender -- cheesecloth (or similar) -- large pitcher -- 1 cup of oats (your choice) -- 1 liter (approx. 4 cups) of water -- 1-2 TB honey or maple syrup -- 1 liter glass bottle
1) soak your oats in plenty of water for at least an hour.
2) rinse your oats and plop them in the blender with the 4 cups of water and your optional tablespoon of honey or maple syrup*.
3) blend blend blend!
4) place the cheesecloth securely over the pitcher (a rubber band helps). pour the oat milk mixture from the blender onto the cheesecloth so it strains, with the milk passing into the pitcher. wring out the cheesecloth to make sure you've got all excess liquid.
5) pour the strained oat milk from the pitcher into a 1+ liter glass bottle which will be your "milk bottle" and pop in the fridge.
6) shake vigorously before each use. consume within 2-3 days.
7) scrape off the oat bits from inside the cheesecloth and store in the fridge - you can easily tuck them into your morning oats when you make your next pot of oatmeal or porridge!
use this oat milk anywhere you would typically use milk: in your cereal, coffee, oatmeal (double down!), wherever.
* 1 TB of sweetness is just enough to give it a similar sweetness as dairy milk has, 2 TB if you like it a teensy bit sweeter - even this does not taste “sweet”, so to speak. experiment.
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finally, i feel like i need to give a biiiiig shout out to polly - former expat/travel blogger turned absolute zero waste maven at green indy blog and inspires me every day with thought-provoking topics i hadn’t even realized or considered she has loads of information on her blog, instagram and even runs e-courses helping people cut back on waste and save money.
i do want to state here that i am simply learning and am a student at this whole zero waste thing. i’m not an expert by any means and am not perfect. zero waste isn’t zero. this post is simply keeping track of my progress and hopefully a way to hold myself accountable for my goals. although i don’t think we all should be one of those people who can fit their trash in a jar or anything, there is a lot of work we can do. you don’t have to have a lot of money to “join the movement”. it’s not about going out and purchasing fancy bamboo utensils or whatever. it’s just about using what you already have, being creative and resourceful, and when something you have stops working or breaks, upgrade it (funding allowing) to a more ecological version.
how do you feel about the zero waste movement? i'd love if you shared a big win from the past year and maybe also something you want to improve upon as well! here's to a greener new year. 
ps, you might like how i travel on a teacher’s budget or thoughts on living without stuff.
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fumpkins · 3 years
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Boosting your gut health sounds great. But this wellness trend is vague and often misunderstood
If you stroll down the grocery store aisle, you might be lured with foods marketed as benefiting your gut. Then there are the numerous health blogs about enhancing, supporting or keeping your “gut health”.
But what does “gut health” suggest? Is it the lack of illness? Is it no bloating? Or is it something else completely? And how strong is the proof “gut health” items really make a distinction?
As we describe in our post just published in the journal Lancet Gastroenterology & Hepatology, even scientists have not rather nailed a meaning. Here’s what we understand up until now.
What does the science state?
We understand the gut is crucial for our total health and wellness. And when we state “gut”, we typically suggest the big intestinal tract, the area of the intestinal system where the majority of our gut microbiome lives.
Our gut microbiome is our gut’s resident microorganisms. And proof is emerging that this affects whatever from how our body procedures sugar in our diet plan, to our danger of cancer, anxiety and dementia.
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But there’s no clear contract on what “gut health” really indicates. Researchers do not utilize the term in the medical literature quite. When they do, they appear to describe the lack of:
undesirable intestinal signs (such as discomfort or diarrhoea)
illness (such as Crohn’s illness or colon cancer), or
unfavorable gut functions (such as swelling, a shortage of particular particles or an imbalance in the microbiome), which are nearly difficult to specifically identify.
Nowhere do scientists or gastroenterologists (medical professionals who specialise in the gut) discuss any visual benefits, such as a smooth, flat stomach or radiant skin, in spite of what magazine articles may recommend.
So, what’s the issue?
There are 2 primary issues with items or lists of foods that declare to be great for “gut health”.
First, such claims are not backed by strong clinical proof. Second, these claims are simple.
While a healthy diet plan is certainly an important factor to excellent health, including of the intestinal system, it’s dietary patterns and total practices, not private foods, that shift the dial.
Let’s take fiber as an example
Fibre is one dietary element declared as a gut health hero. Indeed, there is engaging proof revealing health benefits of a high-fibre diet, for the intestinal system, and likewise more broadly (for example, a decreased danger of heart problem and diabetes).
Yet the majority of people in Western countries do not eat enough dietary fibre.
A bowl of high-fibre breakfast cereal alone is not likely to assist your ‘gut health’ if your total diet plan or way of life is an issue.(Unsplash: Ryan Pouncy)
However, the little-told story is foods consist of numerous kinds of dietary fiber, each with different effects on gut function (and its microbiome).
We do not understand if all kinds of fiber are vital or helpful. At least in animals, excessive of particular fibers may affect the large intestine, triggering inflammatory illness.
So yes, consume high-fibre foods (including wholegrain cereals, fruit, veggies, beans and nuts). But do so as part of a different diet plan, not by overwhelming on simply a couple of foods or business items declaring to enhance your “gut health”.
We are all people
The ideal diet plan for your gut in addition to your total health is most likely to be extremely private. What is finest for someone might not be so for the next.
Large human research studies reveal the gut microbiome might be the significant motorist of this individuality, accountable for a few of the irregularity in how various individuals metabolise food.
However, as we have actually discussed before, it isn’t yet possible to specify the ideal microbiome, or how to get one. What is clear is that any one item is not likely to accomplish this anyhow.
I had my poo tested to discover the truth about gut bacteria
There are more than 1,000 species of bacteria fighting deep inside your body. But what does the makeup of that bacteria tell us about our health?
Read more
So where does this leave us?
If we accept the idea of “gut health” has numerous subtleties, what next?
There is excellent proof the health of the intestinal system and its microbiome are important for overall health, and definitely the lack of discomfort and illness enhances our wellness.
But instead of concentrating on one food, the proof for what’s finest for our gut informs us we’d be much better off taking a look at enhancing our total diet plan. National healthy eating guidelines widely consist of suggestions to consume a range of foods, consisting of those high in fiber, and to prevent extreme alcohol.
General concepts of a healthy way of life use too: prevent drug abuse (consisting of smoking cigarettes, off-label prescription drugs and illegal drugs), workout frequently, look after your psychological wellness and handle your tension.
All these integrated are most likely to be more useful for gut health than the current superfood or boxed cereal.
Amy Loughman is senior research study fellow at Deakin University. Heidi Staudacher is a postdoctoral research study fellow at the Food & Mood Centre, Deakin University. This post initially appeared on The Conversation.
New post published on: https://livescience.tech/2021/12/09/boosting-your-gut-health-sounds-great-but-this-wellness-trend-is-vague-and-often-misunderstood/
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drlaurynlax · 6 years
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How to Prep for a Colonoscopy Naturally?
Preparing for a colonoscopy is no fun task—especially if you want to do it holistically or you follow a Paleo or Autoimmune Protocol (AIP diet). 
If you’re wondering “what to eat” or what to expect the day before a colonoscopy (and how to survive with a holistic colonoscopy prep), here’s all you need to know. 
Standard Colonoscopy Prep Instructions 
In the big scheme of things, colonoscopy prep and procedure really only involves about 48-hours of your time. 
In order for the doctor to be able to fully see clearly into your colon with the scope, all needs to be clear, which means: 
Fasting for about 24 hours prior to the colonoscopy 
Ingesting a large amount of special “poo juice” (i.e. stool softeners and laxative)
And making friends with the toilet for the latter part of the day
Some doctors will suggest you eat a softer foods diet at least 3 days prior to the appointment in order to make things easier to pass and this can be helpful, but may not be 100% necessary to do.
Unfortunately, however, colonoscopy prep ALSO typically includes some non-holistic rituals that can make one who is used to eating a real food, Paleo or AIP-based diet think twice.
Additional (Non-Paleo Friendly) Colonoscopy Prep Recommendations
Non holisitc colonoscopy prep instructions the day before your exam may include:
Drinking Gatorade and Propel to re-hydrate with electrolytes
Sucking on sugary popsicles and candies
Eating Jell-O 
Drinking Kool-Aid and sodas
In other words: Starve. 
You Can Do Anything for a Day
True, your fasting colonoscopy prep diet is really ONLY for a day (you can do anything for a day—even buck your usual “norm”!), but, if you’re NOT used to blood sugar rushes, food dyes and artificial sweeteners, even one day of these things can feel long and agonizing. 
If anything, the MAIN objective of your colonoscopy prep is ONE thing:
Stay hydrated and keep your electrolytes in balance.
—Which is EXACTLY where I personally went wrong. I’ll briefly share with you what I did “wrong” during my Colonoscopy Prep—and how it went down—then give you a play-by-play of steps to take and what to eat in order to have an amazingly easy Colonoscopy.
My Colonoscopy Prep Gone Wrong: What NOT to Do
Long story short: My colonoscopy prep went south QUICKLY because I missed ONE step—I failed to ingest ENOUGH electrolytes during the day!
The result? A midnight trip to the local Emergency Room where I spent 3 hours with  my body in “shock” from dehydration as the ER staff nourished my electrolytes back to balance with an IV pump.
I’ll admit, when I saw the words “Gatorade” + “Miralax” as part of my colonoscopy prep, I did not think TWICE about substituting out water for the Gatorade. 
I don’t remember the last time I drank Gatorade.
However, looking back on it, I understand WHY the docs prescribe the artificially sweetened beverage—electrolytes.
Electrolyte 101
Your body loses a TON of water, sodium and potassium during the Prep do to all the poo you will be doing. If you DON’T have enough of these minerals, then you can bet your bottom dollar that your body will be in shock!
I Went into Shock
Somehow, I managed to make it the whole day, just fine, no real difficulties, minus hating going #2 every 45-60 minutes near the later hours of the day.
However, come 10 pm as I laid my head down on my pillow to rest, it all of a sudden hit me:
Lightheaded and dizzy
Cold sweat on my brow
Heart beating faster
Shortness of breath
I thought I was having a “low blood sugar” dip from not eating all day, so I raced downstairs to try to get some last minute nourishment in before I was restricted from all liquids at midnight for am 7 am procedure. 
Ten-minutes later, I began walking back up the stairs to climb back in bed, and the next thing I knew, I knocked on the door to my mom’s room who was in town to help me out, saying, “Mom, I don’t feel well…” and…
Passing out. On the floor.
To say the least, the event was very traumatic, as I began shaking and convulsing on the floor. 
“Lauryn! Lauryn!” my mom cried, and the next thing I knew, the paramedics and ambulance was there to “save the day.”
The prognosis? Severe dehydration and electrolyte imbalance.
I was rushed to the ER where I was “rehydrated” and nourished with IV fluids, while hunger pains and lightheadedness still continued (I couldn’t wait to eat) and I was encouraged to stick out the procedure—only a few more hours to go. 
I managed to “make it through,” find out some much-needed information about my own gut health that’s been awry for a LONG TIME —and decide I don’t want to go through that for a LONG TIME.
However, looking back on it all, had I followed the following advice I am about to give you here, I would have been just fine!
The Moral of the Story
In short: Bring on the coconut water, sea salt and Ultima powder! (hydration and electrolytes)
The good news? Yup, you (or I) don’t have to turn to just Gatorade to get these electrolytes.
Don’t let my colonoscopy prep story scare you, but INSTEAD use it to encourage you in HOW to prep for your colonoscopy holistically—especially if you are looking for a Paleo or AIP-friendly approach to doing so. 
Holistic Colonoscopy Prep in 3 Steps—Paleo & AIP Friendly
Step 1: Begin Eating Easy-to-Digest Foods 1-3 Days Before Your Prep Day
This step is not ESSENTIAL, but most folks don’t complain when they DO eat with “easy digestion” in mind 1-3 days leading up to the Colonoscopy Prep Day.
Essentially, this means, avoiding some harder to digest foods like: 
Nuts & Seeds
Raw Veggies & Raw Fruits
Breads, Crusts, Crackers & other Grains/Glutenous Foods
Pork (slower digesting protein)
Aim to eat:
Smoothies
Bananas, cooked apples or pears/apple sauce
Cooked, sautéed and steamed veggies (cauliflower mash, steamed broccoli, sautéed greens, etc.) 
Starchy tubers (cooked and cooled)
Shredded and flaky meats and fish
Pastured eggs (if you tolerate eggs)
Healthy fats (avocados, ghee, butter, coconut butter, etc.)
Some directions will tell you to “AVOID” meats, coconut, avocado and leafy greens, but I found by prepping these well, I had no issues personally with keeping to my usual diet.
Step 2: Stock Up on These Goods & Prep Any Foods You Need
Hit the store a day or two before your prep to ensure you’ve got the goods you need.
Grocery List
Coconut Water
Vital Proteins Collagen Protein or Equip Protein Powder  
Cold Pressed Green Juice
Ultima Lemon Electrolyte Powder  
Bone Broth  
Gelatin & Fresh-Squeezed Juice (NO red, blue or purple)—to make “Jell-O” or popsicles
Sea Salt (add liberally to your broths and juices)
Foods you love for your Post-Colonoscopy meals since you’ll be taking it easy that day. Some ideas:
Green Smoothie: Coconut Milk, 1/2 Banana, 1 Scoop Protein, Greens, 1/2 Avocado
Shredded Chicken, Sweet Potato, Greens, Coconut Butter
Canned Wild Salmon, White Sweet Potato with Ghee, Asparagus
Ground Turkey (sausage), Butternut Hash, Steamed Broccoli
Pastured Eggs (scrambled), Mushrooms, Avocado, Spaghetti Squash
Meatloaf Muffin, Cauliflower Mash
AIP Pumpkin Muffin with Coconut Butter, Chicken Apple Sausage
Chicken & Veggie Bone Broth Soup 
After your grocery run, take an hour or so to prep a few goodies to have on hand for your “Prep Day.” Here are some ideas:
Holistic Recipes for Colonoscopy Prep Day 
Easy Paleo Jell-O by Wellness Mama
Homemade Popsicles-AIP, Paleo
Golden Milk Popsicles by My Heart Beets
The Ultimate Coconut Popsicle by Coconut Mama
Bone Broth Soup by Phoenix Helix
Green Juice by Stupid Easy Paleo  
Step 3: Eat & Drink THIS on Colonoscopy Prep Day
Technically, you are told to stick to liquids only on prep day. In my personal experience however, I ate my typical breakfast of turkey sausage, avocado, pan fried greens and roasted carrots before 9 a.m. on my prep day—and am glad I did because I don’t think I would have made it.
The good thing? I was fully clear by that time and prepped for my 7:00 am procedure. 
Here’s a sample idea of what to eat in the 24-hours leading up to the procedure.
8:30 a.m, (20-24 hours before): Eat a balanced real-foods meal 
12 p.m,: 8-12 oz. Coconut Water or Lite Coconut Milk with Collagen/Protein Powder; Green Juice Prep: Take Ducolax Tablets
1 p.m.: Begin Miralax Prep in Water with Ultima Powder. Drink 8 oz. of the prepared prep
mixture every 15 minutes for a total of 32 oz. (HALF OF PREP MIXTURE). Add a pinch of sea salt to your mix.
3 p.m.: 16-20 oz. Bone Broth with Collagen & Sea Salt, Gelatin “Jell-O” or Popsicles (made with Green Juice)
4 p.m.: Take 2 Ducolax Tablets with some Coconut Water & Sea Salt
5 p.m. Prep #2: Drink 8 oz. of the prepared prep mixture in Ultima every 15 minutes until the last 32 oz. are finished. Add a pinch of Sea Salt to your mix. 
6 or 7 p.m.: 16-20 oz. Bone Broth with Collagen & Sea Salt, “Jell-O” or Popsicles
9:30 or 10 p.m.:Ultima Powder in Water or more Jell-O or Bone Broth if “hungry”
Aim to “eat” every 2-3 hours, and drink liquids with electrolytes throughout the day. You will be “liquid full,” but to keep hunger at bay, incorporate collagen and protein via broth or powder in the day. 
Bonus: Day of the Colonoscopy 
You can’t eat or drink anything (except maybe suck on some ice chips), the day OF the colonoscopy (at least 2-4 hours before the procedure) so your food doesn’t mess with the anesthesia. 
That said, I KNEW I was pretty hungry going into my colonoscopy, so went ahead an prepared my post-procedure meal—one of my faves:
Post-Colonoscopy Meal
Ground Turkey Patty with smashed Avocado
Roasted Rainbow Carrots
Pan-Sauteed Greens in Coconut Oil
—My doc said I could go back to eating regular foods as tolerated, and I was able to tolerate this just fine. 
As a back up, I kept a Banana with Coconut Butter, Green Juice and simple Beef Isolate Protein Powder to mix up on hand IN CASE I couldn’t stomach food…but I was golden (and never as happy to eat again as I was after everything was said and done).
The End
Voila! 
Before you know it, your colonoscopy will come and go, and you’ll be back to your norm—doing what you love to do. 
My GREATEST colonoscopy “mishap” was NOT drinking enough electrolytes during the day (since I thought water could replace Gatorade). Had I ensured I got my electrolytes in through coconut water and more holistic powders (like Ultima), I believe my experience would have been a breeze!
After the procedure, I slept for about 2-3 hours on the couch at home after eating—so thankful to be well-fed—and then popped up, ready to start the day!
While I did take the day off from my usual routine (driving, gym, etc.), I did go to town with spring cleaning my apartment, stretching at home with my own yoga practice and working on my latest book outside in the beautiful spring sunshine. 
You will be JUST FINE and live to tell about it…just don’t forget to hydrate 🙂 
The post How to Prep for a Colonoscopy Naturally? appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.
Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/hormones-metabolism/how-to-prep-for-a-colonoscopy-naturally/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/
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fitnesslive · 3 years
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🤔 What your Poo tells about you?
Now I know it's gross to talk about poop, but my job as an IBS & Gut Health Dietitian is to educate and bring awareness to a subject that is often dismissed.⁠⁣
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So here's my scoop on poop 👇 - apologies to all chocolate lovers in advance & I hope you're not eating whilst reading this 😉. ⁠⁣
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Our poop actually says a lot about our digestive & gut health, so if you're not paying attention, it's time to.⁠⁣
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❌ TYPE 1 - CONSTIPATION⁠⁣
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❌ TYPE 2 - CONSTIPATION⁠⁣
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✔️ TYPE 3 - NORMAL⁠⁣
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✔️ TYPE 4 - NORMAL⁠⁣
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❌ TYPE 5 - MILD DIARRHOEA⁠⁣
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❌ TYPE 6 - DIARRHOEA⁠⁣
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❌ TYPE 7 - DIARRHOEA⁠⁣
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💩 An ideal frequency would be around 1-3 times per day, or every 2 days. A normal bowel movement should be fairly easy to pass, without much straining.⁠⁣
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💩 Normal stool colour is brown (slight green is ok if you're having lots of veggies). If your stools are red, pale, white, red, bright yellow, then you'll need to get this checked by your doctor. Black stools can be related to iron supplements (but may also be a sign of internal bleeding). If you're not sure, check with your doctor.⁠⁣
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👇 So let me know below, is this helpful for you? And can you look at chocolates the same way again? 🤣🤣⁠
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