#⭒✧ — aesthetic » galen erso

[inebranlabl]

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[marinersubmariner]

At the risk of exposing myself as a complete nutjob, I wanted to share how many screencaps I Frankensteined together for my last manip because I think it’s funny in an embarrassing kind of way (or uh… “resourceful”). I have such particular visual requirements that I went pretty overboard for what is ultimately totally mundane imagery. I just wanted so badly for it to look real and new and canonverse! To comfort myself in these trying times!

Apologies to Galen and Lyra Erso for bodysnatching. I almost didn’t change the clothing colors because I thought ehhhh I don’t wanna overdo it, but uh. Clearly that’s a strange place to draw the line after all THIS. So as with all of my emotional support scenarios Ben has to wear blue and Rey has to wear green. I can, should, must, and will cater to my own exact aesthetic specifications. As a treat.

Yes I had to carefully select and place every bit of flyaway hair. It was important.

I also gotta say that removing Adam Driver’s garbage facial hair is a CHORE and I now have a great deal of sympathy for the poor schmucks who had to paint out Henry Cavill’s mustache in Justice League. It’s so difficult to do photorealistic facial reconstruction with matching lighting and angles and it never looks right!! But I simply cannot abide Ben Solo with facial hair, I’m sorry. That’s part of the reason I didn’t like Adam Driver’s face before Star Wars. :( He has a head of hair like an angel but the facial hair of a villain. The duality of man

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Star Wars Aesthetic: Orson Krennic

[mosylufanfic]

Cherchez La Femme

B e h o l d, my film noir Rebelcaptain opus. Smallish opus. Like an opusette.

Cherchez la Femme

They let the woman in Interrogation Room 2 cool her heels for at least an hour. By the time Cassian Andor let himself and his partner in, he could tell she was good and steaming. While Kay stepped into the glare of the overhead light, he took up a position in the shadows without introducing himself.

Not that she gave either of them the chance. "What's the big idea?" she said. "What's this all about?"

She'd fixed her hat, but her skirt suit still looked crumpled, and there were scuffs on her shoes, older than that afternoon. She had a small mouth but full lips, slightly chapped under the patchy coating of lipstick. Her eyes were hazel, verging on green, sooty makeup smudged in the corners. 

Kay said, "Liana Hallik?"

He all but blocked out the light just over his head. Cassian had seen mass murderers quail at the sight. But she merely shrugged.

Kay went on, "I hear tell you're wanted for forgery, burglary, aggravated assault - and I think they could reasonably add resisting arrest."

She snorted. "I like that. A couple of toughs come up on a lady in the street and I'm the one getting charged."

"You broke a patrolman's arm."

She shrugged, slouching into her chair. "A girl's got a right to defend herself in this town." 

"And the rest of it?"

She looked him in the eye. "I don't know who did all that, but it wasn't me."

At the bold-faced brass of it, Cassian let out a soft laugh, drawing her gaze. "I suppose you're the bad cop?" she said. 

"You really think he's the good cop?" he said, jerking his head in Kay's direction.

Her eyes narrowed for a moment. "Say, you're not a copper at all," she said. Her eyes moved to Kay. "You might be."

"He was," Cassian said. "He's reformed."

"Aren't you gonna introduce yourselves? You know my name.”

"Cassian Andor. And that's Kay Tuesso. We're private investigators."

Her eyes were still knife-sharp. "Those boys pick me up on your say-so?"

"No," he said. "But a few of them owe me a favor. Called me up when they brought you in."

"And by favor you mean money," she drawled. 

He shrugged. 

She smirked. "I never did meet a copper who could play poker worth a damn. Just what do you want with me so bad?"

"Come with us and we'll tell you."

"Come with you where?"

"Out of here, isn't that enough?"

-

She slouched against the counter as they signed her out, eyes still suspicious. "You boys better not be planning anything funny," she said as Cassian unlocked her handcuffs and passed them back to the desk sergeant.

"It's the farthest thing from my mind."

She jerked her head towards Kay. "And him?"

"Kay, you planning anything funny?"

"With her?"

She snorted. "You're nothing to write home about yourself, stringbean."

They escorted her out and to the car. "Nice set of wheels," she said, appraising it.

Grand theft auto had been on her list. Cassian said, "Yes, and every cop in town knows it's ours." 

"How sweet for you."

He opened the car door for her, and she slid into the backseat. Cassian had barely closed the door before she was out the other side and bolting for the nearest alley. "Kay - !" he shouted.

With his long legs, Kay caught up easily, closing the last few inches with a flying tackle. She barely grunted as he brought her down, both of them skidding across the concrete.

She flailed and squirmed and kicked free, but by that time, Cassian was already there, swiftly handcuffing one of her wrists and locking the other cuff around his own. She snarled at Kay, who calmly got to his feet and readjusted his hat.

"You hurt?" Cassian said. 

She shot Kay a boiling glance. "No thanks to you if I am." She examined her knees, smeared with mud and blood. "You rat bastard," she spat. "That was my last good pair of stockings."

Cassian hauled her to her feet. "For someone who claims to be a lady, you sure have got a mouth on you."

-

They took her to a greasy spoon a few blocks away. She sulked along, securely handcuffed to Cassian's wrist. They got a few side-eyes when they went into the diner. 

"She's a dangerous murderer," Kay told them. "Best for all of you if she's locked down."

She sneered at him.

Cassian escorted her to a booth and gestured for her to slide in first, up against the wall. When he was settled next to her, blocking her way out of the booth, he unlocked the handcuffs.

Kay took the seat across from them. "Coffee to start," he said to the waitress who appeared. 

She poured coffees all around, eyes fixed warily on their prisoner. "Is she really a murderer?" she asked.

"Yes," Kay said. "She brutally slaughtered my patience."

"No," Cassian said.

"We just don't want any trouble, see," the waitress said. "This is a nice place."

"I don't start trouble," said their prisoner. "But I end it." She smiled sweetly, and the waitress scurried away.

"That was a lie," Kay said. "According to your record, you start trouble too."

She shrugged and dropped three sugar cubes into her coffee and took a gulp. "It's been a long day. How's about you tell me what you want and I tell you to go to hell."

Cassian took a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. "What we want," he said slowly, tapping it on the table, "isn't anything Liana Hallik can give us."

Her brows drew together.  "Well, then, why am I here?"

He shook out a cigarette and lit it, watching her through the first curls of smoke. "Because we need information from Jyn Erso. Daughter of Galen Erso."

The sneer froze on her face, and then faded, leaving it very blank. How long had it been since she'd heard either name?

Her eyes moved between Kay and Cassian. Perhaps she was calculating her chances of getting away with a lie. 

She picked up her coffee and sipped, then set it down, slowly. "Is that what you want?" she said at last. "Information on Galen?"

Not Papa or even Father, Cassian noted. Galen. He inclined his head. 

"What do I get in return?"

"You already got out of police custody," Kay said peevishly. 

Cassian nodded. "Kay has a point. We've already given you something. Now it's your turn."

For a moment, Jyn Erso said nothing. Then she nodded at the cigarette packet he’d left out and said, "You gonna give me one of those?"

"Why should I?"

"Because it'll relax my nerves and sharpen my memory, that's why."

He held out the package. 

Kay said, "Those things'll kill you, you know."

"We'll all die someday," Jyn told him. She selected a cigarette and raised a brow. "No light?"

Cassian pulled out his lighter and held it to the end of the cigarette. She took a deep drag and blew the smoke in his face. 

"That was rude," Kay commented. 

Cassian sat back, not bothering to wave the smoke away. "When was the last time you were in contact with your father?"

"Fifteen years ago," she said readily enough. Apparently the stunt with the smoke had soothed her feelings. 

"Any idea where he's been all that time?"

"I like to think he's dead," she said, smoke spilling from her mouth.

He noted the wording. "Do you?"

"It's easier that way."

"Easier than what?'

"Just easier."

"What about Saw Gerrera?"

"The anarchist? What about him?"

"He raised you, didn't he?"

"If you can call it that. I was sixteen when he dumped me at a convent school. That was the last I saw of him, too."

Kay raised a brow. "A convent school."

She shrugged and blew out smoke again. "Clearly, it didn't take." She tapped ash onto the table, directly to the right of the ashtray. "Listen, if you brought me here for information on Galen Erso, or to squeal on Saw Gerrera, you - "

"Got the wrong girl, I get it," Cassian said dryly. "I don't need you to squeal on anyone. We have to get in to see Gerrera, and we need someone who can get us in the door without getting our brains blown out."

"You think that's me."

He shrugged, the same way she had, and felt a jolt of satisfaction at the way her lips pressed together in annoyance.

"What's he got that you need?" she said. 

"Fella name of Bodhi Rook, flew a plane in the war. Says he knows where your father is."

"And what do you need my father for again?"

"Do you care?"

"Not really."

He was pretty sure that was a lie, but one she was telling herself. For the moment, it meant she wouldn't pursue his reasoning and that was just fine with him. "Will you do it?"

She tapped ash off her cigarette again, thoughtfully. "Where is Saw these days?"

"Jedha City."

"Never heard of it."

"Little hole in the desert, one state over.”

Kay added, “Seems to me you might like the chance to get out of town."

She shot him a dark look. "That may be, but I don't think things will work out quite the way you boys are picturing."

"That's for me to worry about,” Cassian said. “Well?”

She shrugged as if to say she was fine with leaving that to him. "What's to stop me from taking off once we're on the road?"

He smiled to himself, but kept his face even. "If you go with us to Jedha City and come back here after, I can make your rap sheet go away."

The smoke pluming out of her mouth stopped for an instant, then came out all at once. "Just - go away?" she echoed.

"Everything from aggravated assault to the time you shoplifted penny candy."

"Just how much do those coppers owe you, anyhow?"

"Enough," he said. "What do you say?"

She stubbed out the cigarette. "Throw in a chicken-fried steak and you've got a deal."

Keeping his eyes on hers, he lifted a hand and flagged down the waitress. "A chicken-fried steak for the lady," he said, "and the meatloaf special for me. Kay?"

"I'm fine with coffee," his partner said. 

When the waitress had left again, Kay said, "You know this is a bad idea."

"I'm touched by your concern," Jyn said. 

"I wasn't talking to you." He turned to Cassian. "I hope we won't regret this."

Cassian thought they probably would.

FINIS

[jxpper]

So, i hate asking this because��‘never let them see you sweat’ but my youtube channel is dipping severely because the show i usually edit with is on hiatus. so, i’m trying to branch out a little bit. if you see this, could you help me out and just click it and maybe even watch it? pretty please? 🥺 

[mercifulmemories]

Lyra Erso tag drop

[alphaalnitak]

Hannibal extended universe: Starwars edition! Idk who Hugh is though, probably a prisoner Orson gave Galen to keep him busy when he’s not working since he killed the poor guys wife.

[cosmosreign-a]

sneaky tag drop don’t mind me

[writinredhead]

Step 1 In Being A Werewolf: Do not fall for vampires. Do not. 

The first time Bodhi Rook caught sight of his new neighbour, he had to do a double take. 

And promptly failed Step 1. 

So @ensignrook has been entirely too good to me and made this fantastic aesthetic for Under the Moonlight, thank you so much <3

[ensignchpa]

🌼Galen Erso icons🌼 please like or reblog if you use/save

[rosepaige]

“you’re confusing peace with terror.” - galen erso

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

spideychelle aesthetic aus pt. 3

whew last one, folks. since the enemies to lovers thing wasn’t highlighted as much in the last au, cus i overshadowed it with so much other stuff, i’m doing this one too and hopefully the enemies to lovers trope is highlighted more hehe

#3 the rebelcaptain au

oohhhh yeahhhh we about to get all star wars in here son. and STAR WARS is a mothereffin aesthetic, aigghhtttt

okay imagine peter parker as jyn erso, the gumptious rebellious son of a scientist who reluctantly works for the empire (tony stark as galen erso) and was raised and trained by a battle hardened soldier in the rebellion (steve rogers as saw guerrera).

and then, imagine michelle jones as brown leather jacket wearing, smoldering in a dark corner, high ranking captain, intelligence officer, sniper assassin, and spy in the rebellion, cassian andor.

mj is assigned to bring in peter to help her find steve rogers or tony stark in order to gain sensitive critical information about a new weapon the empire is building.

uughhh someone else see what i’m seeing and then write and figure out this au for me so i don’t have to hahahaha. fuck i’m really going for these spideychelle prompts, huh. i’ll return when it’s the last day hehe. for now, spideychelle month week 4 day 3 is done! whew fuck i’m tired hahaha

[dameronalone]

Bodhi: worn sweaters with too long sleeves, abandoned cold cups of tea, the smell of books, a major in  aerospace engineering, a minor in quantum physics, studying all night for exams, stuttering genius, snickering behind a hand, smacking someone down without them realizing it, tight hugs, late night whispered confessions, sibling relationships, quiet bravery, mocking impressions behind their back, random coffee shops, practically adopted brother, braver than realized, loyal puppy, no bark, but hard bite, hard to anger, but raging fire when mad, knows your secrets but will never tell

Galen: coffee at sunrise, red bull and 5 hour energy every morning, half-assed inventions and partially formulated hypotheses, pet projects, going 24 hours without sleep, excited gesturing, painfully oblivious sometimes, wants to help but doesn't know how, awkward hugs, forehead kisses, pet names you never would've thought of, family is everything, doing all in your power to protect, even if it means betraying, ashamed glances, sleepless nights, bags under eyes, pencil smudged hands, blueprints and pencils behind ears, trying hard, even though it's not hard enough, pushing through difficulty with a name on your lips and a face in your head, passive aggressiveness, believing in the underdogs always

[sights-on-the-scifi]

THE COMPLETE SIGHTS OF SCIFI STAR WARS REVIEW PART 2.

BRIDGES TO A NEW HOPE.

https://sights-on-the-scifi.tumblr.com/post/189186099956/the-complete-sights-of-scifi-star-wars-review-part PART 1.

These next four pieces of STAR WARS media have exactly the kind of things i’m looking for in STAR WARS prequels, they fully understand what made the original trilogy so great. All of these titles meaningfully expand the universe not just with words, but also through engaging cinematic techniques and fun characters all wrapped up in an entertaining adventure general audiences can enjoy!

Action, drama, politics and effective score. Its all here in full force.

JEDI FALLEN ORDER 2019.

Years after the fall of the galactic republic and the destruction of the jedi order. The newly formed galactic empire has begun its conquest of the galaxy, seizing complete military enforced control of the means of production and industry, invading disobedient planets, taking control of natural resources through force then assimilating all species and their cultures under the emperors one rule.

Oppression can be felt everywhere.

The burnt out husks of the republic, separatists and the clone wars are being brought down to shipwrecking planets like Bracca to be stripped for valuable parts, melted down and recycled into materials that will construct the empires growing imperial war machine fuelling this transition.This is all carried out by overworked and underpaid engineers turned scrappers... This location also serves as a fantastic opening to the game! Giving us a believable insight into how the aesthetics and technology of this galaxy changed so drastically into the one we are all familiar with.

All of this world building is organic and we get to experience the emotional and political impact of this new reality at the same time the character we play as does. Cal Kestis is a jedi padawan who has gone into hiding after the events of order 66, and it is here he has spent most of his young life dismantling the world he had once known to blend in, waiting for any sign of other surviving members of the jedi council to hopefully tell him what to do next and its fantastic juxtaposition. We see him and his friend Prauf running through and scaling the dangerous work environments of this planet talking about their hopes and dreams for a future outside of this depressing place.

The heroes journey is an essential part of STAR WARS storytelling.

Prauf being the oldest wants Cal Kestis to someday find his destiny and tries to motivate him to do so. As you can see there, the performance capture on this character even Cal is incredible and you really feel the emotion in the dialogue. Layered within this endearing narrative is great foreshadowing of events to come, political commentary and emotional content, this is stuff that I wish the Lucas directed star wars prequels were better at. But regardless its amazing to finally see it done so well here.

Jedi fallen order is not just an exciting star wars action adventure game with sleek mechanics, its also an intriguing narrative that shows us how survivors of a gone away world cope with the loss of that civilisation and their role within it. The game is full of great characters who assist and motivate Cal on his journey to discover hope for the future! I dont want to spoil too much of it because its really something you gotta experience for yourself to fully appreciate.

These qualities will also be expressed in the next three pieces of bridge media ill review.

SOLO A STAR WARS STORY 2018.

This is the second movie to be released in the STAR WARS anthology movie series. In it we are shown the backstory to one the original trilogy’s most recognisable characters Han Solo! While it is not a perfect production (What star wars movie is?...) its still a fun and exciting adventure full of style.

Like with Fallen order we get a detailed look at the ways in which the empire is taking control of the galaxy not just in terms of society and culture but also on the economic level, and it all has some interesting real world parallels. On the planet Corellia Han and his girlfriend Qi’ra are trapped in a life of crime for the local gangsters who use orphaned children as a means to carry out scams and steal expensive vehicles from rival gangs and even the wealthy elite. Discovering a rare resource on a job which is used by the empire to power their enormous starfleet, Han steals this along with a lighting fast speeder to outrun their masters and hopefully bribe the imperial guards at the immigration port checkpoint to then escape off world for good.

Its through this impressive opening sequence that we get an insight into the class divide of this universe and how the empire oppress and exploit populations of the worlds they control, we are even shown how they collude with the gangs to funnel desperate youths into recruitment offices for the empire’s vast military. Again its all organic, interwoven with the narrative of the character we follow. We experience it as they do! With shots of the newly constructed empire star destroyers that we saw were built with the re purposed scrap seen in Fallen order for an example.

This is what STAR WARS excels at, wrapping interesting social commentary and scifi themes around a fairly simple heroes journey. There is even more of this stuff too throughout the rest of the film, like we see in vivid detail how the empire sends the poorest of these worlds to fight in off world conflicts across the entire galaxy to eliminate native resistance and install a regime loyal to the emperor. It is fascinating way to show how oppressive and brutal this fascist empire is... When Han’s escape plan fails and he is separated for Qi’ra, he is then forced to escape from the gangs and imperial authorities by posing as a civilian looking to become a soldier in the empires army, though he does not get to be a pilot like he imagined for long. Han is thrust into a survival situation, as he and many others like him are forced to fight in a world war 1 inspired hellhole.

We see thats its not just elite storm troopers that compose the empires forces, but also these scarcely equipped mud troopers comprised of the working poor. After these amazing sequences the film settles into a more predictable heist narrative with a ragtag criminal crew, seeing Solo develop into the character we all know and love from those original films. Finding Chewie, getting the Falcon, his iconic Blaster, meeting Lando you name it and its all here!

Solid stuff.

STAR WARS THE FORCE UNLEASHED 2008.

Originally intended to be the official bridge between REVENGE OF THE SITH and the 1977 CLASSIC STAR WARS. This game tells the tale of Darth Vader's secret apprentice Starkiller, who is tasked in eliminating the emperors enemies and former Jedi.

The game received very mixed reviews upon release as it was criticised for being perhaps a little rushed and a very bland button masher in terms of gameplay mechanics. Though the way in which you could use the force was pretty impressive, especially when combined with very impressive physics systems. What ultimately makes this game so interesting is its story, showing us how Darth Vader desires to escape the control of his master even while he still serves him... He uses Starkiller (Who was a child he stole from his original father/former jedi he was sent to kill), as a means to find the emperors enemies covertly, who just so happen to be rallying together to fight against the sith lord. In so doing Starkiller becomes a double agent, encouraging the formation of this resistance while at the same time killing Jedi to appease Lord Vader and aid his secret plan to assert control of the empire from within.

Over the course of this journey Starkiller will eventually grow to be sympathetic to the rebel cause and fight for the freedom of the galaxy, though I wont spoil the specifics here.

Like with the previous media shown in this review we get even more glimpses into the ways in which this galaxy operates, and also how the empire operates. We see junkyard planets filled with the remnants of the clone wars, a deathstar in a very early stage of construction, and small insurrections formed by a surviving Jedi striking at the hearts of the imperial war machine. Its pretty similar to how Fallen order does it, but I feel that Fallen order does a much better job at this while at the same time being a phenomenal gameplay experience.

Despite its flaws though FORCE UNLEASHED is still a fun adventure that fits surprisingly well in the overall narrative i’m experiencing here chronologically! :D

ROGUE ONE A STAR WARS STORY 2016.

The first movie in the STAR WARS anthology film series, ROGUE ONE does everything that SOLO did right perhaps even more so! This movie takes place directly before the events of the 1977 classic, showing us the daring mission to secure the Deathstar plans that Luke then stumbles upon. What is so clever about this narrative is how it wraps a human story around such a small annoying detail in a new hope relating to the Deathstar’s ultimate weakness we are all aware of. The thermal exhaust port...

ROGUE ONE shows us how the empire exploits the minds and talents of the galaxy’s brightest individuals to construct its oppressive technology and weapons, destroying livelihoods and families in the process as we see in the opening. Galen Erso, a former lead scientist for the Deathstar super weapon project has gone into hiding to avoid aiding in the empires efforts to construct it, becoming a moisture farmer on a remote world. Much to his dismay, Director Orson Krennic a high ranking imperial officer he was once associated with has discovered the location of this farm and intends to bring him back to finish the research on the weapon.

Foreseeing this eventuality that he will become a hostage to the program, he devises a plan to hide his wife and daughter from the empire while he attempts to avoid being taken away, something that unfortunately is unlikely to happen... The plan does ultimately fail and his wife is killed, while only his daughter manages to escape Krennic’s elite bodyguards. Its a very emotional and impactful opening sequence that has real world relevancy, the history of WMD’s are full of personal tragic complexities like this for example.

Jyn Erso, Galen’s daughter is orphaned by this event, growing up to become a member of local rebel groups until becoming disgruntled and solitary. When broken out of imperial prison she will soon realise once tasked by the Alliance to retrieve information on the Deathstar that her Father is still alive, and while forced to work on the weapon placed a weakness in the design of the station the rebels can exploit. The groundwork for his revenge. The scene where she views the message made for her is amazing, see for yourself.

Its very well executed and the emotional impact of the scene really makes it heartfelt while also expanding the universe in a really unique way! The climax of the film expertly shows us the bravery and sacrifice involved in a mission like this aswell, but I wont spoil it go watch the movie yourself to see :D. Again like with the other media shown, it sprinkles in lots of social and political commentary in its visual world building.

This is what a STAR WARS prequel should do!

I hope you enjoyed these reviews and are encouraged to add these films to your viewing list :). I’m now going to be rewatching the 4k restored theatrical cuts of the original trilogy then playing battlefronts 2′s singleplayer so stay tuned for those reviews once they release!

[tlenoodporna]

Star Wars Aesthetics: Galen Erso

Jyn, whatever I do, I do it to protect you. 

[shmisolo]

the star wars penis headcanon masterlist (by popular demand apparently)

baz: the word that springs to mind is staunch. i'm thinking stocky. yes. he's got a stocky dick.

chewbacca: not that you'd know because his hair is so long and soft and smooth, but it's hiding a really ginormous dick. like easily the biggest in all of star wars. chewie's very humble about it tho. he's had a rough life and doesn't need to get into pissing contests with people. let the wookiee live.

finn: finn strikes me as a shower not a grower, and he's got nothing to be ashamed of in terms of what he has to show. tbh i'd argue probably the most aesthetically pleasing dick in all of star wars. like good proportion to the rest of his torso.

ackbar, gial: his is probably like the fish creature in the shape of water where it's like hidden and only pops out when he's gettin' ready to get down.

andor, cassian: i feel like it's pretty average sized, gets the job done well and fills you up nicely. i get the feeling that it's one of the ones that really shows the bloodflow?

antilles, wedge: wedge wedge darling wedge. i don't think his penis is very big. i don't think he cares though bc his concern is bringing the empire down which is probably the right way to handle the toxic masculinity surrounding conversations of penis size.

binks, jar jar: let's be clear about one thing--you all kept bringing up jar jar. i didn't ask for this, you did. so, without further ado--jar jar is probably the most capable of pleasuring his partner of any character in the star wars canon. 1) have you seen that tongue? dicks are great and all (and i'll get to his in a second) but we /all/ know that tongues are where it's at and jar jar's is long and strong. 2) he has a huge dick. like not so big that it's terrifying to fuck, but just the right size that it'll do you right for hours on end. so there we have it, kids. jar jar binks: the cassa nova of star wars.

calrissian, lando: ok this isn't dick-size related, but we all know that lando has the best groomed pubes of anyone ever. like it's stylin'. his dick ain't bad. not bad at all, but it's the pubes that make him stand out.

dameron, poe: slightly above average length when erect--a grower not a shower.

dooku, count: a full 8 inches. bet you didn't want to know that. too bad.

erso, galen: p nondescript tbh

fett, boba: has like a mirror image dick of his dad's.

fett, jango: huge and veiny. like almost disconcertingly veiny.

fortuna, bib: you know that weird thing that extends from his head and sort of wraps around his neck before disappearing into his robe? that's actually his penis. why are you booing me i'm right?

gerrera, saw: solid 8 inches but not super thick.

hutt, jabba the: people have been telling me that in legends, they say that hutts are hermaphroditic and can fuck themselves. i personally think that jabba *is* the penis. choose your own adventure, dear reader.

hux, armitage: long, but thin. i don't really think he's good at using it, tbh, bc he's def not a giving lover. so even if he's proud of his length he's got a lot of work to cover.

imwe, chirrut: pretty average sized but oh boy does he know how to use it. like his force sensitivity is a major boon to him.

jinn, qui-gon: qui-gon's dick is massive. like bigger than just about any other human's on this list i think, though not as big as chewie's.

kenobi, obi wan: obi wan gets the most giving and communicative lover in all of star wars award. his dick is pretty average--like probably on the small side--but oh man do you not notice that if you're in the sack with him holy fucking shit.

krennic, orson: ok so true story. krennic's dick is disconcertingly similar to anakin's pre-mustafar. that might be why they butt heads as much as they do. no one will ever really know.

lars, owen: owen's got a short dick, but it's pretty thick. idk why but the phrase "typical uncle dick" is coming to mind but it is.

maul, darth: red and black and has tiny tiny thorns. i'm also gonna throw it out there that maul's dick, like the rest of him, is highly flexible.

needa, lorth: short dick. real short dick.

organa, bail: let's just say breha's a lucky woman because her man has a decently sized penis but also is nearly at obi wan levels of giving-ness.

palpatine, sheev: lmao it's like a shriveled worm after his showdown with mace windu.

panaka, quarsh: a good 9 inches.

piett, firmus: solid 7.5 inches. good circumference. is subtle about that.

rook, bodhi: long and not toooo thick but not toooo thin.

skywalker, anakin: lbr here, his dick was probably pretty good. like average goodness. not too big not too small, not too thick not too thin. a balance in the force if you will. it also probz got burned off on mustafar. (i swear it's not actually conical.)

skywalker, luke: luke's dick is 💯💯💯, but most importantly, he comes from the obi wan school of being a very giving lover and so not only is he blessed with a 💯💯💯 dick, but he's using it the way dicks were meant to be used.

solo, ben: ben solo is the tallest and thiccest human in the star wars series; his dick is proportional to the rest of his body.

solo, han: good and girthy. not the longest in the universe but good solid girth work there.

tarkin, wilhuff: tarkin's dick is tiny.

veers, maximillian: if i had to pick some empire dick to ride it'd probably be veers', tbh. thick, long, doesn't get too disconcertingly colored when erect. not too shabby all around not too shabby.

windu, mace: good and long and thick. like his lighsaber, it purples when it's activated.

yoda: listen all of yoda is small, so let's not make a "he's got a small dick" joke because that's just cheap. it's. just. cheap. his dick is proportional to the rest of him, and for his species that's doing pretty good. you've seen the dude fight with a lightsaber--do you really think he's not capable of workin' it?