2019年4月27日に書いていたしんどい時の自分のケア方法。またしんどいことがあったら役に立つといいなと思って書いたことをなんとなく覚えていて、見返してみた。すんごく真っ当なことが書かれていて、びっくり。
考えことは、夜にはしない。昼間太陽とともに。
同じ思考を繰り返している場合は、きちんと思考を中断する。
感情はコントロールし、きちんと表にだしていく。怒ることは悪いことではない。
コントロールできない感情に対しては、無防備に直面しない。直面する際には、時間と人を間に入れ、ポジティブなフィードバックを受ける環境で、向き合っていく。
感情を落ち着ける逃げ道を用意するが、感情から逃げ続けるための予定に、追い込まれない。人と話すことによって、できごとの再体験をしすぎない。
食事がとれないときは、水分をきちんととる。突然に身体の負担になるものは食べない。食事に逃げない。食べる時は和食。
苦しいことに慣れない。抜け出すべき道であるということを自覚する。
これからの在りたい姿を自分の中に、確立する。
気分転換の買い物は本にする。本屋を巡り、たくさんの世界をみると落ち着く。本はいくら買っても、無駄遣いにならない。
631 notes
·
View notes
This one is extremely strange, so strange that I think I must have got it wrong somehow? Here's a line from Akechi's Black Mask navigation. Yeah, you know which one this is going to be:
Here's the English audio:
Is it me, or is something a little... off, here? Look at the portrait. Doesn't he look a little... calm? Downbeat, even?
Here's another use of the same portrait. This is not a laughing statement:
Akechi has a laughing navigator portrait, of course:
it's okay goro we know you're very normal
So we've got a mismatch between the portrait and the English line. Let's have a listen to the Japanese audio:
They're a bit... different? He's not laughing, he's not gloating. Just "Huh, I guess that was a thing that happened..."
So what's going on here?
translation time
Akechi
敵1体逃走!仲間に見捨てられたようだね。
teki ittai tousou! nakama ni misuterareta you da ne
This one just got betrayed by its teammate! Ha, imagine how that feels!
[lit. One enemy fled! Looks like this one was abandoned by its friend, huh?]
One more enemy out of the way! So this last one got dumped by its friend, huh?
Let's talk about 見捨てる misuteru—"to abandon". misuteru pops up regularly in the P5R script. It comes up when someone's being ditched, bailed on, forsaken by God—generally left behind: if your friends run out on you, you are being misuterued.
Are there any contexts where misuteru can mean betray? Sure. If you leave a friend held hostage to die, the shadow will accuse you of misuteruing them. nakama o misuteru is used consistently here, similarly to Akechi's line above—"you betrayed your friend by leaving them to die".
Here's Kawakami, at the end of her confidant, resolving to never abandon any of her students again:
Kawakami
でも、これからは君のことも守るよ。教師として、絶対、見捨てたりしないから。
demo, kore kara wa kimi no koto mo mamoru yo. kyoushi toshite, zettai, misutetari shinai kara.
But from now on, I'm going to protect you too. As your teacher, I will never betray you.
What does Kawakami do? She tries to help her student Takase, but in the end abandons him; she believes she betrayed him to his death. But she betrayed him by giving up on him; by abandoning him. She misuterued him.
Here's Futaba, during her apology to Joker for dumping him at the start of Maruki's reality:
Futaba
てかむしろ怒るだろ!{F1 82}のこと見捨てたんだぞ!?
te ka mushiro okoru daro! <given name> no koto misuteta n da zo!?
Why wouldn't you be!? I betrayed you! Don't you get that!?
Under Maruki's influence, Futaba loses herself in her happy family life, and leaves Joker to handle things essentially alone. Futaba betrays Joker by abandoning him; she misuterus him.
how does akechi use misuteru?
Besides the usage above, Akechi has two other uses of misuteru in P5. One is in his deleted Mementos mission from the third semester:
Akechi
君たちのことだしこういう人間は見捨てておけないだろう?
kimi-tachi no koto da shi kou iu ningen wa misutete okenai darou?
Well, considering what you and your group do, I imagine you could hardly abandon him to his fate...
This doesn't mean "betray". There's no relationship between Joker and the mission target—there's no betrayal. There's just an abandoning—a refusal to help.
Akechi
やっぱり馬鹿は⋯お前らだ。見捨てて行けば、よかったのに⋯
yappari baka wa... omaera da. misutete ikeba, yokatta no ni...
The real fools... are you guys. You should have just abandoned me here a long time ago...
[lit. the real fools... are you guys. if only you'd [just] abandoned me here...]
Now this line is a doozy. Look at that use of misuteru here; in vanilla, it was his only use of this word. Akechi has just got done explaining that being unwanted and cast aside is the thing he fears most of all. He has shaped his life around it. He's done murder for it. Everything he's become, he became, at base, because he was abandoned—because he was misuterued.
It's here, at the very end, that he turns his back on that. This unwanted child who has killed to be wanted—he looks at Joker and the Phantom Thieves on the other side of the engine room shutters, people who've proved that they value him and want him around, for himself. And he says to them—no; you're idiots; why didn't you abandon me, like everyone else has? He says to them, I won't let you die here, and I care about that more than I care about being abandoned.
Everything about Akechi is resolving at this moment. He transcends his obsession, fear and trauma. And that word misuteru is doing a ton of heavy lifting—because if Akechi can't have what he wants, then he'll reject it. He makes a free choice, for once in his life.
This moment influences him for the whole of the third semester. And when we hear him say misuteru later on, we should remember this. When black mask navigator Akechi notes the Shadow being abandoned to its fate, he isn't laughing about it; he's thinking about it. In his head, he isn't the betrayer, thinking of Joker in the interrogation room; he is the betrayed, being left behind by everyone he ever hoped would care about him. He's being left behind behind that engine room door.
This line as localised, taken in isolation, can transform your reading of Akechi's character and motives—which is why it's so important to look at the whole of canon, and not single cherrypicked lines. Step forward, "I hate you"
unhinged ranting
Lemme be clear here: this line has always pissed me off for its inconsistency. Akechi reacts against the engine room ending in the third semester, sure. Almost the first thing he does is to rub that deal they made in Joker's face. He's desperate not to be viewed as that pitiful object on the floor. He's desperate to keep up walls between himself and the others—for whatever reason.
But after 1/2, he doesn't really gloat about what he's done. He doesn't argue with Futaba's threat to him on 1/11—"if you ever betray us again, we'll make sure you regret it."; he just agrees to her terms, which he knows are well deserved. He's not walking around like "lol, I got you arrested and tried to murder y'all and there was that whole thing"; even unhinged combat Akechi doesn't do that. Except for this one line. When he suddenly reveals that, deep down, he thinks the whole thing was hilarious.
Except he didn't do that at all. If he did, I think he'd find the others tolerated him a lot less. And he's already walking a knife edge with many of them.
What was the translator's brief here? Honestly, I have no idea. Did they even have access to the original audio? Did they have time to play it? Did Atlus give them a brief to make this guy just as crazy insane as possible?—because we know they told Akechi's JP VA, Soichiro Hoshi, to underplay it.
Either way, I don't think the line as localised (and as delivered, excellently, by Robbie Daymond) corresponds to the Japanese audio. traduttore, traditore—translators are traitors. Even me
revision history
Click here for the latest version.
v1.1 (2024/6/18)—it's 1/11, not 1/13!
v1.0 (2024/6/18)—first posted.
222 notes
·
View notes