#'i made pilgrim for YOU' is it weird that i teared up at my own fic...?

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY #6: In which Cameron realizes that she has a wife

NOTE: it wasn't planned, but, this one turned out to be for @theresebelivett and her tattoo <3

[CN: food/dinner, being and getting upset at a restaurant] . .

Cameron made it through the first 20 minutes of dinner with two new, unknown representatives from Atari before she felt compelled to excuse herself and rush outside for some air.

The representatives themselves were refreshingly un-executive seeming. Nico, a gangly, unabashedly nerdy Filipino kid with shoulder length hair who’d just joined the company, collected vintage games and obscure comic books, and maintained a website with recommendations that was inspired by Comet. His boss, Becca, had described herself as an introvert, but had talked animatedly to Cameron about fantasy and speculative fiction, musical theater, David Lynch, gaming, and her attempts to learn to code. Becca was short (as most people were, next to Cameron), round, pale, bespectacled, and had several visible tattoos. She had bright brown eyes and short hair, and one side of her head was shaved, and she spoke to Cameron and Donna with this funny, endearing mix of real confidence and slightly nervous reverence.

The four of them met at Mountain View’s finest steakhouse, where Atari had reserved a quiet back room for their meeting, and Nico and Becca talked like the kids that Cameron used to chat with on the internet in the 1980s. They didn’t just know Phoenix, they knew Mutiny, seemed like they’d used it themselves. They didn’t just know Cameron’s most recent, independently released game, Steward, they knew every volume of the Spacebike Chronicles, and they knew about Pilgrim. Becca even had a Spacebike tattoo on the inside of her left arm, a simple outline of Cameron’s hero, standing next to her bike, and when Becca showed it to Cameron and Donna, it hadn’t felt smarmy or manipulative at all. Donna had laughed with delight, and said, “Oh, I kind of want one just like it!” But that was when Cameron had stood up abruptly and said, “Uh, I’ll be back…soon, bye,” and bolted.

After just over 10 minutes Donna went and found Cameron, who was standing outside, a few feet from the restaurant’s back entrance, chewing on her thumbnail.

“It’s a good thing you’re still here,” Donna said. “Those kids seem really nice, but if you’d left me here with them, alone, you’d be looking at a week on the couch, at least.”

Cameron looked at Donna, who was standing in front of her in a pale blue, cocktail-length asymmetrical dress that had a sort of Grecian vibe, that Cameron thought looked very nice on Donna, though the idea of having one shoulder covered and one shoulder bare made Cameron’s own skin crawl. Donna’s hair was pinned up, and she was wearing high heels. She’d convinced Cameron to leave Phoenix’s offices early that day, so they would have time to get dressed, and pushed her to wear her most expensive wool slacks and best-fitting blazer. Cameron hadn’t fully appreciated what a big deal this out of the blue dinner with Atari really was until she’d seen what Donna was wearing.

Donna reached for Cameron’s hand and gently pulled it away from her mouth, and kept it in hers. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

Miserably, Cameron said, “That you look beautiful. ‘Businessman’s wife who does all the actual work and closes the deal over drinks’ is a look that really suits you. Even though I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Don’t be silly,” Donna said. “I mean, you’re right, it is a look that suits me very well. But you absolutely deserve it. I’m only enjoying it immensely because I’m here with you.” She squeezed Cameron’s hand, and asked, “What’s really bothering you?”

“I don’t know,” Cameron admitted. “It just doesn’t feel good. I don’t know if it’s because it really doesn’t feel good, or because I’m remembering how it felt before.”

“What happened?” Donna asked, letting of Cameron’s hand. She crossed her arms over her chest. “How did it feel before?”

Cameron took a breath, as if that might help her hold back her tears, but it didn’t really work. Unsteadily, she said, “I made Pilgrim for you. And for me, too, and how I felt after Mutiny. I made it for you, and for us. Even if I didn’t realize it at first.”

Donna beamed at Cameron, and rubbed her upper arms, as if she were trying to keep warm.

Cameron took off her blazer, and put it around Donna’s shoulders.

“Thanks,” Donna said, pulling the blazer closed.

“I get that you and me and us is a very niche audience,” Cameron continued. “But they shit-canned it. And I’m still upset.”

“Well, I’m sure I would be too,” Donna said. “It’s okay that you feel that way, though. You get to feel that way for as long as you want to. You don’t have to decide anything, or sign anything, tonight. All you have to do is order the most expensive thing on the menu and enjoy it.”

“Yeah?” Cameron asked. “That’s okay, if we just have dinner, and maybe forget this ever happened?”

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Donna smiled. “They’re here for you. They came all the way down here because they want something from you, they need you. You’re the talent, and you’re the one who’s in charge.”

Cameron wiped some tears away with the back of her hand. “I’m the one who’s in charge.”

“We should also get more appetizers. And desserts,” Donna said.

“As always, you’re right,” Cameron said. She put her arm out, and Donna smiled at her, and took it. They started back toward the restaurant together.

[libidomechanica]

“You have offered”

—Yet wast thou think it soon will waft     thee hence! Mountain go, up to the wrongs herself she cried, you     love us, play no more. Than any Kurd more helpless! Thou     surely cannot tell. Love. And my roots will aid if men will     call in an hour where blind

wildbeast of force, whose little muddy     pond of water, never gave a lock of hair away     to a man, Dearest, bury me under the bay. And warm     with dew? I am gone into the garden-ground of a     silver name is yoked with

visions, and columbines, cool parsley,     basil sweet, O Love, dear children, call no more;—Farewell!     With every one, the dove to their golden store in Autumn’s     sickle, Winter frosty dark; and as ye her array, still     noble motion: and I

saw that equal baseness lived     in me, the weird affectionate light, having lived on the     woods may answer, nor your love died: it is like since you going     to thee impart, and which may let in a little by     little step beyond, and,

though a light from infancy; and     the forest bare, lest aught of the valley road. But when we     heard the drowsy sacristan still countrywomen! Time to     tell aught else: so mighty spels, nor damned ghosts are pecking pearly     bite; and to be praised

if all be well! To tumble, Vulcans,     on the pine its garlands of farewell. The Choristers     the ioyous Antheme sing, that all the woods no more! You have offered     theme of you that live bath, each fish, which comfort? Up in     the slanted hail-storm, down

he dropt towards to the Sun grew broader     toward his death and fell, and thou fayre Hebe, and wert o’erjoyed     to peep in at a hole, and have sought. And ah for a moment     face with eyes wide whites showing before the stormy night,     to tinge, on syren shores,

the Mauis descant playne, that those     deceptions which it couched, close by the dead, since she her name is     Martha Ray about this she knows, maybe the ball that godless     cleft with passion from the fair and worth it? Some fresher     stamp of the state of thing

vncomely euer may thereto     applaud and loud and look too, into the voice within your     melancholy! And would answer, All will yet be well! A     crocus too stoic to open, won’t. We twain, although she     perhaps he mixt with flowers

and husbands, I do confesse     they played to me: we fear, indeed, whereof this same night. Was     caught in the winter stand and women, up till the wood so     late, a furlong from Heaven, for earth we are but pilgrims     made, and honey fed; who,

when we saw that tear! To make him     seem long hence as he spake, her looks were she: how pretty her     blush of eve was waning slow, and twang’d it inwardly; for     at the firelight touch’d, and bleached by time and the Southern     morn. Like resurrection

in front of every captain waits     hungry for honour, lay me in the air, no, no, not one     looke to glaunce awry, which, erring here; and the wintry world     appear, and have more celestial threasures grieve not me,     and o’re, our own rest

imperial tent whispers to you     with a smile; then from my breast almighty ever-present     heere, to lag behind, and the wylde wolues which made so fair.     Ill mother dear mother with a ring at the air of love     and pity. Why stand we

here? From their deeds; lilies that you     cannot claim: let thy white should it move to life and sour     prentices, With new surprise; her belly, buttocks, and sings, snapping     his style admire and I will say no. Peace, you youngest     sate on her: for the night

be better used where the serene     father’s camp, and mad, the wind of banners that passes for     to beye, first streak of day! The groom gat sae fou’, he fell awald     beside this aged thorn; no leaves to hide those gentle     bird, whom thy lady died!

[popculturebuffet]

Uncle Scrooge by Don Rosa:  The Isle at the Edge of Time (Thank You Comission For Rosie Isla)

Hello all you happy people! Today’s review is a bit special as it’s the result of another review. See I had trouble finding a translation of the subject of last weeks’ mother’s day special, Family Ties. 

No not that one. I have Paramount+. I can watch all the Family Ties I want and that’s a fact that i’m pleased as punch about. 

No it was the story 80 is Prachtig, called Family Ties in the copy used, Della’s first major comics appearance and one that explains what happened to her in the classic continuity, one that clearly served as the foundation for her far more fleshed out 2017 versions personality and backstory. It also had Pinocchio in it for some reason, and spent most of it’s large run time on a meta comedy plot that had nothing to do with the reason anyone wanted to read this story in the first place.

But despite being a vitally important story, it never got an english translation, something that baffled me till I read the story and found cameos of the racist indigenous stereotypes from Peter Pan. In 2014. You may commence booing. Even with how weird the story was I simply couldn’t find the story googling it and the Della tag is too vast and deep to go spelunking in.

So what’s all this have to do? Simple I put out a post last month when neither I nor Kev, who wanted to comission it as part of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my coverage of all three season 2 Ducktales story arcs, could find a copy and offered a review to whoever found it.  Weeks passed I got nothing.. then in the 11th hour I got a break as the lovely @rosieisla​ found a translation that was on this very site, one she seemed to have helped with. As a result I could do the review and as a man of my word, offered it up despite her clearly having not seen that part of the post and simply having done this to be nice. Still she gladly took up the offer and offered me my pick of two stories: The Carl Barks Story Back to Long Ago or this one. 

As for WHY I picked this one Back To Long Ago didn’t seem bad, i’m just not a fan of “The Cast is put in the past as their own ancestors” type deals. Or in some cases put the cast as people from that time period. It’s just not for me and is most often done in TV where it can get really goofy, Beverly Hills 90210 being a prime example of this, though Girl Meets World was no slouch in being embarassing... that being said I really need to finish that show and miss it. 

So yeah when put up against a story with two intresting hooks and FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD, even if i’ts not the version that’s my boy, it was no contest. So what are these hooks you ask? Well join me under the cut and find out. 

We open with a weird stylistic choice: This story has a narrator complete with caption boxes. Now for those of you familiar with comics or pastiches of comics in tv and film, this probably dosen’t seem like a big deal. It was a common thing in comics from their inception to 90′s to have caption boxes, big boxes of text narrating the action to help move things along faster. It did start to fade out by the 80′s and was gone by the end of the 90′s for the most part, replaced instead with first person narration. It’s the kind of thing you’d see most often in the Golden and Silver Ages, with stuff like tihs

It’s not a BAD device, it’s good old cheesy and bombastic fun and some writers did get clever with it.. like that time Chris Claremont used the narration to yell at a greiving cyclops after he lost a teammate early in his long and storied run on the uncanny x-men. 

This is a objectively weird scene that’s still somehow effective by the by. On the one hand it does come off as Chris Claremont essentally bullying Cyclops who already feels guilty for a death that was not in fact his fault as Thunderbird was told the plane he was attacking with fleeing villian Count Nefaria was about to explode and refused to listen.. and that they needed to get rid of either him or Wolverine as both served the same purpose and chose the non-white guy. 

On the other htough it comes off just as much as Scott beating himself up in his grief and anger over the event and his perceived failings as a leader. It’s good stuff and shows why this run caught on as this was only three issues in. Also the rest of the issue features the X-Men fighting a giant cyclopian demon that Cyclops accidently freed in his rage by destroying the stone thing keeping him imprisoned. No really here’s the cover

Huh so tha’ts what Nifty’s dad looks like. Neat. Also I REALLY hope we get the X-Men fighting aliens or demons in the MCU. Unlike the XCU the MCU isn’t alergic to getting batshit.. and for the record Deadpool and New Mutants are the exception, not the rule.

My point that I swear I do have is that this was common practice for most comics.. but never really for Disney Duck comics. It popped up ocasionally, like with Scrooge’s introduction, but Barks and those after him never really used them that much. Sure they’d have caption boxes for flasbacks and what not but Barks and Co geninely only used this sort of thing to set up a story. The most i’ve seen it in a duck comic is life and times and even then i’ts usually only used for gags or to set up the passage of time, as the story IS covering decades and thus often needed to have montages to show time passing, and in the case of chapter 11, had to cover decades in the span of a single chapter, so it’s not like they had many other options. So even Rosa as a personal quirk didn’t really use these often. 

Rosa used this specifically because he felt the plot was complicated by the use of the international date line. As for what it is, it’s essentially a line marking calender dates from one side of the hemisphere to the others. To use the offical defentition from the National Ocean Service I found via a quick google:

“The International Date Line, established in 1884, passes through the mid-Pacific Ocean and roughly follows a 180 degrees longitude north-south line on the Earth. It is located halfway round the world from the prime meridian—the zero degrees longitude established in Greenwich, England, in 1852.

The International Date Line functions as a “line of demarcation” separating two consecutive calendar dates. When you cross the date line, you become a time traveler of sorts! Cross to the west and it’s one day later; cross back and you’ve “gone back in time."

Despite its name, the International Date Line has no legal international status and countries are free to choose the dates that they observe. While the date line generally runs north to south from pole to pole, it zigzags around political borders such as eastern Russia and Alaska’s Aleutian Islands.”

Rosa felt this made the story complicated.... and that... really isn’t remotely true. The narration is mostly used for gagas and really dosen’t clarify anything. it’s mostly used well in the opening.. but the actual explinations for the date line are clear enough in the story that even if I hadn’t looked the thing up, I still would’ve got it and i’m sure a kid would’ve too. It just feels like a weird thing to ruminate on, especially because he’s got actual things to make up for: while to his credit the native american characters he cribbed from carl barks are sympathetic, their culture respected and treated decently and used for a green aseop, their dialouge is stitled and sterotypical something he dosen’t even comment on (And these trades ewren’t THAT long ago) 

And of course it dosen’t help that he dosen’t even comment on using a common device in american superhero boooks.. in the same volume where he ONCE again makes an unwanted and outdated diatribe about superhero comics. I’ll probably cover the Super Snooper Strikes again so I can throughly tear this apart but higlights include: Calling superhero comics “Unwanted” just because he dosen’t like them personally, when people like me would disagree and they’ve lasted through a LOT of highs and lows, outdately saying they took over the American market as the only suitable comics which while true for a TIME,but by 2015 when this book was printed is laughably out of date, as non superhero works like The Walking Dead, Saga, and Scott Pilgrim were massively popular, one of my faviorite comics that is entirely slice of life and would go on to bea huge hit, Giant Days, re-debuted that very year. He also has the fucking gal to insult The Uncanny X-Men by name and I swear to god I did not know this when I made those references earlier, but as you probably guessed REALLY god me livid. 

And this is just on his COMMENTS on the story I can’t imagine just how bad the content itself is and having read the first few pages which come off as Rosa using Donald to essentially do an “old man yells at cloud rant” about superhero comics, I really don’t want to. Might make htis a patreon exclusive or again would do it on comissoin. You all make the call.... the point is I don’t likes his elitist bullshit about superhero comics, and this is clearly something that gets my hackles up as I just spent a good two paragraphs of an entirely unrealted review yelling at the guy for it. I don’t like when he does this and this authors notes entirley felt like an excuse. I GET the dark age of comics were bad, they REALLY were that bad, but I will NEVER accept painting an enitre genre as bad just because one work in it is bad. And I wont accept it from someone who himself writes about an often throughly unlikeable anti-hero for a living.  Scrooge may not have a gun on his gun on his gun or get to stabbing or have pouches, but he DOES finacially abuse his nephew, scoff at people’s personal troubles, and often refuse to use his wealth to help others in general. So yeah in conclusion Rosa really needs to say less about this subject. 

Okay so where were we.. right the story hadn’t even started yet. Jesus. 

Okay so our story begins with the narrator. Whose going on about time and what not. The main point of this speech about time is that it’s night in Duckburg and Scrooge is going to bed as, even being the workhorse that he is, he can’t keep going 24 hours. While he’s snoozing though something major happens and it’s the hook that made me pick this story along with the international dateline one.. an island rises thanks to volcanic erruption.. and the lava is GOLD. That’s just pure unabashed classic Duck Stuff: a mysterious treasure or phenominon of gold bound to bring scrooge in. 

But Scrooge isn’t stupid: the sun comes up and the world still spins while he sleeps, so he set up a satalite to monitor for this sort of thing. The thing naturally goes nuts.. and even more naturally breaks down becasue Scrooge bought cheap parts. A nice gag and a fully in character way to bring our antagonist into the picture, as the Satellite of Loaded falls in the middle of South Africa... right on the property of my boy Flintheart Glomgold. 

This is something Rosa brought up in his commentary for the story i’d never thought about. It turns out Glomgold being a citzen of Duckburg WASN’T an invention of the original Ducktales but the comics: some overseas had understandably moved him from his home country of South Africa. Him bieing in the same town as Scrooge instead of half a world away allows for easier setups and more intresting ones.

Rosa however being obdient to Barks Version of things, ketp Glomgold in South Africa like barks did, which was an .. ifffy decision given Apartheid had JUST ended at the time of this story. Not so much in the reboot as not only had apartheid been long gone by the time of the reboot, but that’s more fair. Still we do get some gorgeous vistas as a result as Glomgold’s minon goes to look at it and finds it’s from McDuck Mining company... Glomgold’s reaction is obvious. 

So on that note we cut to Scrooge rushing to Donalds house and forcing him awake and not telling him anything at first. Look his Ducktales Counterpart straight up kidnapped his donald in my last review, I’d call this a win. He also tries to dress Donald while explaning both his panic to find the crashed satlitle and what it found: the golden island. The end result of him dressing donald is worth a chuckle

So after Donald puts his shirt and little hat on our heroes get rollin rollin rollin what keep rollin rollin rollin who to Manilla. On the plane we get the scene I mentioned: The boys make a quip about Scrooge having lost a day and the group go over the international date line. It’s a fun little scene especially Donald trying to get paid early at the end. Classic scrooge and donald stuff without the abusive undertones some of their classic stuff has. 

Meanwhile Glomgold works out the data and finds out about the gold island, and his excitement accidently wakes a giraffe outside.. welll it was nice knowing him, Giraffes are the deadliest species known to man.. here’s an educational video t back that up....

So at Manilla Airport, Scrooge finds out abotu the south african crash, figuring he’ll get a laugh out of glomgold being there ... only for Donald to spot the Jet. Scrooge figures this can’t be anything good... now come on man maybe he’s just promoting his energy drink. 

As super sayin god super sayian as my witness, I will never get tired of Ultra Instinct Glomgold here. 

Scrooge isn’t so nice about that though and figures he better find out if Glomgold knows about the island and bribes one of the fueling crew for his uniform. He sucesssfully eavesdrops on Glomgold talking to his pilot, finding out from him exactly WHERE the island is. He ends up hilariously botching the mission though: when getting ready to leave Glomgold complains abotu the price of gas and that naturally causes Scrooge, just as cheap, to join in... and Glomgold to find out it’s Scrooge. The two wrestle outside the plane but before this can progress to a game of Naked Robber an airport security guy comes up and Scrooge cleverly claims that Glomgold’s plane has an infestiation, requring it to be quanrantined and allowing Scrooge to jet on.. thoguh not with an actual jet. With Glomgold seemingly dispatched, he can afford to save some money and take his time with a seaplane and I know just the man for the job. 

Oh nope looks like he’s busy. So one time related rambles later we meet Keoki, their asian pilot from the tiny island of Wookawooka.. and no that’s not a real place i checked... and no Fozzy dosen’t own it his check bounced. That being said it is a very well done represntation of someone from a smaller country: he’s doing this job to try and bring money back home, but being a seaplane captain just isn’t enough and his island is dying. Scrooge naturally is about as sympathetic as you’d expect, having apparently never even heard of the idea of a bonus when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests it. 

Even less suprising is that Glomgold streaks by in his Jet:turns out Manilla was already overun with the bugs Scrooge claimed and Donald rubs it in that had Scrooge got a JET this wouldn’t of been an issue. 

So Glomgold easily beats them there, and to add insult and actualy injury to a cash based one, our heroes get blasted by golden lava on the way in and crash. Should’ve gotten launchpad... got the crashing professional. Keoki is dispondent as this means his people are doomed. He also dosen’t know waht staking a claim is when Scrooge mentions it and the boys bring him up to speed with the poor guy saying he wish he could for WookaWooka. Donald also makes a valid point about how greedy and heartlress scrooge can be.. and really billiionares in general.

No no YOUR the Grouch who refuses to have one drop of emapthy. Donald’s just pissed at your general selfish and terrible behavior. 

Glomgold glomgloats and has seemingly won... but naturally that rant that seemed extranious at the time about the date line comes into play: turns out the Island is on it, and since glomgold put his marker int he west, Scrooge simply puts his in the east which is a whole day before. Now GRANTED there’s nor eal legal prescendice for the intetaoinal date line itself , as noted above... but there’s enough witnesses in Scrooge’s favor that it simply does not matter anyway. Scrooge SEEMINGLY wins.

But Huey, Dewey Or Louie instead backs another claim: Keoki’s from earlier. While it was made in gest, he and the others along with Donald back it as witnsses instad. WookaWooka is saved and SCrogoe ends the story yelling at the narrator.

Final Thoughts: Don Rosa.. did not like this story, feeling it wasn’t one of his best and apologizing for it. I however.. really loved it. It’s not PERFECT: the narration feels not entirely necessary and the gag isn’t as funny as he thinks, though the payoff of scrooge saying “it’s time for this story to end” is fucking hilarous. I also feel it’s a bit too compressed: the story is only 16 pages and was only THAT long because Rosa added a few for exposition, a worthy addition. This feels like one of his 30 page adventure stories but slightly crammed into half the length. I also feel the golden island bit was BADLY underused as it’s such a cool setting but barely shows up in the story. 

But despite that.. it’s still a fun story: as is standard for Rosa the art is gorgeous and the humor is great. And unlike some stories where Rosa casually ignores how terrible scrooge is, here it’s his own greed and hubris that do him in: had he actually agreed to help Keoki, the boys likey would’ve let him keep the island but his own cold refusual to be a human being does him in, just as his cheapness nearly did. Flintheart is also decent here.. not the deepest foe but frankly most classical duck antagonists really aren’t all that fleshed out, and we still get some good bits with him. The dateline bit, while telegraphing that it will be important, as I said REALLY isn’t that hard to understand. All in all while i’ll agree with Rosa this isn’t his BEST, it’s still a really damn good story and one he shoudln’t be ashamed of. 

Tommorow: Green Eggs and ham is back for some train shenanigans! Kay. 

Saturday: The Tom Retrospective returns for it’s last detour! Eclipsa and Moon team up to stop meteora but grapple with diffrent wants: One to save her daughter.. the other to stop waht she clearly sees as an out of control monster. The result.. will only lead to tragedy and a hell of a two parter. 

If you liked this review consider joining my patreon, patroen.com/popculturebuffet. At as low as 2 bucks a month you get accesss to my patreon discord, exclusive reviews, and to pick a short when I do one of my shortstragavanzas, a marthon of theatrical shorts honoring a characters birthday. And given Donald’s is next month, now’s the time to get on board. 

But if you go up to 5 you get a guaranteed review of whatever you want every month, and will get me to my next milestone, which will give everyone including yourself a monthly public darkwing duck review, reviews of the two Ducktales minis’ I haven’t covered (Time is Money and SuperDuckTales) and a reivew of the Danny Phantom film the Ultimate Enemy. So please join today and if you cannot, like this review, subscribe and give me your opinions on it bellow. Or even if you can feedback is always appricated and I will see you at the next rainbow. 

[lynelovespopculture]

THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA-CHAPTER 15 THE DREAM/PART 4 I HAVE BEEN WORKING MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT FOR 3 DAYS TO GET THIS ‘EMERGENY’CHAPTER OUT TO YOU. IF YOU’VE NEVER COMMENT ON MY WORK BEFORE, NOW’S THE PERFECT TIME TO START BECAUSE AS A WRITER AND A SPELLWOOD FAN, I’M FEELING FRAGILE RIGHT NOW. -THANKS, LYNEZELDA

“No! Oh dark mother, please, no!” Faustus Spellman jolted up in bed, pushing the bedspread off his naked chest which now heaved up and down with heavy breaths.  Faustus was unaware of just how sweaty he was until he buried his face in his hands.

“Honey? What is it? What’s wrong?”

Faustus looked up to see his Zelda, in her eyes he saw concern for him. “Zelda, come no closer! Don’t make me hurt you more! Please, I beg of you, stay away!” Faustus moved from middle of the bed to the end. 1 moment he felt the mattress beneath his hand, another moment there was only air. Faustus prepared himself for the fall, only it never came, for Zelda had rushed to his side, pulled him up and in an effort to comfort him, tried to put his head on her chest, which made him very confused. He fought her. “Zelda!  Get away from me while you can!”

Still, Zelda was worried. “Darling? Hush now, can’t you see that you just had another nightmare?!”

Faustus shook his head. “It wasn’t,” He insisted. “It was too real this time.”

Zelda tried again. “What did you dream about? Walk me through it, all that you can remember.”

Faustus sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “It was like no time had passed. I was struck inside Blackwood, who of course, trying to hurt you and the coven. I just can’t escape it, can I? I truly am evil!”

“Try to focus, Faustus. Please tell me what happened.”

“I founded another church. The Church of the Night Pilgrims.”

Zelda shook her head. “There is no such church. I would know, as an ordained high priestess, I have a current list of all the world’s covens. I can show it to you if like.”

“I won Mary Wardwell to my cause!” He said firmly.

“Impossible for 2 reasons!” Zelda’s reply was just as firm. “Mary Wardwell would never abandon her faith that easily and secondly, you never properly meet that mortal, only once when you with stuck in Blackwood.”

“I freed the Eldritch Terrors.  I did!” He insisted when Zelda only sighed.  “All 8 of them, the darkness, the uninvited, the weird, the perverse, the cosmic, the return, the endless and the void. I also almost ruined Hilda’s wedding with the uninvited.”

Zelda pleaded gently by putting her hands on his chest. “You have warned us about the Terrors ever since you spilt from the curse. We have taken all the precautions but not 1 terror has shown up yet. It’s been 13 years and waiting.  You didn’t ruin Hilda’s wedding. You escorted her down the aisle after saving her groom from armed robbers. The 2 of you have been best friends ever since remember? Darling, please, you have to stop!”

But Faustus couldn’t stop; He was afraid if he stopped talking, he would give into the tears that were just below the surface and then he would never be dried eyed again. “Oh, and Lilith gave birth to a boy and called him Adam.”

“Easy fix. Lilith’s son is named Alexander and shortly after his birth, she met a man called Adam who was working for Emperor Blackwood. You just got your wires crossed on that 1.”

Rather than calm down, Faustus stiffened. “Oh goddess! Emperor Blackwood! Even if I had the power, why would I go around arresting witches? It makes no sense! For goddess’s sake, I’m a witch myself! And why would I spent so much time and energy to get rid of Sabrina? She’s such a sweet girl and we have made our peace.”

Zelda listened patiently. “Yes, I agree with you about Sabrina, but I have no idea what else you’re talking about. Blackwood took the title of Emperor when he stole Elizabeth’s throne, not you. As for arresting witches, well, my love, that simply never happened.”

“What of the weird sisters?” Faustus demanded.

“They’re fine,” Zelda assured him.  “Prudence, Dorcus and Agatha are all fine.”

“No. Agatha was insane and was murdered by Prudence and Dorcus.”

“You cured Agatha of her insanity years ago and then all was forgiven, for her and for you.”

“And the other sisters?”

“What other sisters?” Asked a confused Zelda.

“Well, for 1, Rosalind Walker.”

“What?! Rosalind is a seer, not a witch. Never was, never will be.”

“And Mambo Marie? Or Baron S-something, as he turned out to be. He was a lord of the underworld, who was still in love with you.”

“What? Poppycock! Mambo Marie is still living in New Orleans. We know that because she got married last month. Prudence went to the wedding and we sent her off with a gift. Hecate, Faustus, you signed the card. We all did! I just got a lovely thank you card from Marie and her new wife the other day. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because I love you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t!” Faustus jumped away from the bed and from Zelda’s gentle touch. The tears finally started to fall. “I killed Sabrina! Or I helped her to her death when I tried to sacrifice her to the void so I could have it power for myself. You tricked me which made me blind and later, Prudence took a chainsaw, cut off my limbs and buried them at the 4 corners of the world and you were both right to do it!”

Zelda calmly got off the bed and went to her husband. “I don’t know what the void is, but I do know that Sabrina is fine. Yes, she is!” Zelda stressed when Faustus shook his head violently. “In fact, right before I came back in here to check on you, I just off the phone with her. Sabrina just got final approval for her new office and she wanted me to thank you.”

“Sabrina thank me? Whatever for?!”

“Perhaps because you helped her find the place? Or because you co-signed for the loan. Or because you gave the idea to be a therapist in the 1st place?”

“I did?”

“You did.” Zelda confirmed. “What about the other things you said? Are you blind now?”

“Only by my tears.” Faustus mumbled.

Zelda gently wiped his eyes for him. There. Now, what do you see?”

“What I always see when I look at you. The most beautiful woman, witch or mortal, in all the realms.” Zelda smiled at him and it would have been so damn easy to give in. Faustus wanted so badly to believe he could be this great guy who would live with this goddess who had owned his heart forever.  He leaned in to kiss her but turned away at the last second. “No! I can’t! If I can dream all this, then I must still be dangerous.”

“Faustus- “

“Zelda, I’m going to leave now and you must promise me that if you ever even hear the name of Faustus Blackwood, you will run the other way!”

“Alright, I will.”

It broke his heart completely to hear her agree but it was for best. However, he only half turned before he felt Zelda’s hand on his arm.

“You know; Faustus Blackwood no longer exists. You are Faustus Spellman and this” Zelda leaned over and took a framed picture from the nightstand. “is Faustus Spellman’s family, taken not even 2 weeks ago.”

Faustus looked at the photo. They were all there. Him, Zelda, Hilda, Dr. C, Sabrina, Ambrose, Prudence, the twins, Judith and Ju-no, their names were LJ and Jake now. They were all smiling and happy. Then Faustus saw a face that was not in his dream at all. “Cordelia?”

“Of course, Cordelia.” Zelda smiled. “Our 12-year-old is probably downstairs right now, eating cereal and watching TV, like she does every Sunday. I love you, and I won’t let you throw away 13 years of your hard work to be mentally well. It was all a dream, Faustus. It means nothing. Everything’s fine. I really hate that it’s been over a decade and Edward’s curse still has the ability to haunt you like this.”

Faustus couldn’t quite hide a little smile. He was touched beyond words how Zelda thought of it as Edward’s curse, not his own. Still, he wasn’t sure. “How can I know that this isn’t the dream?” Faustus wondered. “What if I’m still stuck inside Blackwood?” That thought terrified him.

“Blackwood has been gone and buried for the last 12 years. Still, if you have to be convince that this isn’t a dream.”

“Ow,” Yet he smiled when Zelda pinched him.

His wife raised her eyebrow. “Not enough? Okay.” Zelda leaned forward and kissed him deeply.

During the kiss, Faustus felt Zelda unbuttoning his shirt. “What are you doing?”

“Checking,” Zelda said matter of fact. “Earlier you mentioned Prudence cut your limbs off. If that actually happened, you would have scars.” She lowered his shirt and kissed around his shoulders. “No scars here. Wait, I need to check on something.”

“Where are you going?”

“On the night we buried Blackwood, I had to save your life with a binding spell. Which means that if you have a mark on your body, I have it on mine as well.”  Zelda explained as she went to look in the mirror.

Faustus came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle. “I was beheaded too, but your neck seems fine.”  He gently brushed her hair aside and began kissing her neck.

“What about my shoulders?”

Faustus was still kissing her neck when he tugged off Zelda’s silk robe and let it fall to the floor. Then 1 at a time, he pulled down the straps of her nightgown. “Nothing here,” he reported. He claimed her lips with his own and then kissed her brow. “You know; I did say all 4 limbs.” Zelda felt a delightful shiver as Faustus let her nightgown fall to the floor. His long arms felt the front of her until he got to the limbs of her thighs. His fingers made quick work of her underwear, letting them fall as well. “You are perfection.” He whispered as he touched the most secret part of her.

As soon as she was able, Zelda turned around. “Now that I’m all checked out, let’s finish with you.” The pretense was dropped entirely after that, just like Faustus’s pants. They tumbled backwards onto the bed, clinging tightly to each other as they made love.

“I love you, Zelda.”

“I love you, Faustus.”

Faustus fell asleep quickly after their lovemaking. It was no surprise to Zelda. After all that dreaming in the night, he must have gotten very little rest. She kissed his forehead and whispered, “Sleep long, sleep sound. Let no more dreams come around.” Happy with her spell, Zelda got up, got dressed and started the phone calls.

 Faustus awoke to the sounds of a busy kitchen. 1 look at the clock told him he had slept the day away. Just taking a shower and getting dressed made him feel better. He went downstairs and the 1st thing he saw was the weird sisters, who were setting the table.

Prudence looked up first. Although Faustus felt weary, her eyes and her smile were welcoming. “Hello, Father.”

“Hello, Mr. Spellman.” Agatha and Dorcus said together, in that unique weird sister way.

It was oddly comforting. “Hello, girls.” Faustus was still smiling when he felt a pat on his back.

He looked beside him to see Dr.  C. “Hey buddy! Zelda called and said you had a rough night. We thought a nice family dinner would make you feel better.”

Faustus remained speechless but he walked into the kitchen with Dr. C. Then he saw the steel wrist band on Dr. C’s arm. “You still have the incubus?”

“Of  course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Uh…never mind.”

They reached the kitchen where he saw more Spellmans readying dinner. Well, most of them. Ambrose was leaning against the island, casually reading a book and dipping his free hand into a food bowl, until LJ slapped his hand away.

“Father! You’re finally up, sleepyhead!” Jake tossed him a teasing smile as he carried the chopped carrots to the stove and dropped them into the pot that Hilda was stirring.

“Hey Dad,” the child’s comment was casual as she walked by him, carrying a side dish, bound for the dinning table. However, Faustus had to reach out and touch her, afraid she would disappear right before his eyes.

“Cordelia!  You’re real!”

Her face, exactly like Zelda’s, clouded over in confusion. “Thanks? So are you?”

He watched her walk away and for the 1st time, Faustus thought that perhaps Zelda was right, perhaps it all had been just a dream! Then Faustus saw something that made his heart drop into his stomach. A very   much alive Vinegar Tom got off his dog bed and went to his food bowl. Of course, he had no problem with the dog being alive. Heaven, when he first heard of the familiar’s death, his gut instinct was to run and comfort Zelda, yet he couldn’t because he was still married to Constance at the time. No, the problem was that Tom’s life was Marie’s final gift before returning to the underworld. If that part of the dream was real surely everything else was real too.

Faustus was still trying to sort fact from fiction when an arm came around his waist and Zelda kissed him. “Feeling better, darling?”

“Vinegar Tom is alive?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Don’t you remember?”

“Humor me, dearest, please?” Faustus begged.

“Well,” Zelda’s voice lowered to a whisper. “As you know, I cried hardest for Tom on his birthday and you always do your best to comfort me. But 3 years ago, when she was 9, Cordy must have heard us for later, when we went downstairs, we found her petting Tom’s stuffed form.”

“Yes!” The memory struck Faustus’s brain like lighting. “I managed to get Cordelia out of the room, but you called me back a moment later, Vinnie was alive. We didn’t know how to explain it to Cordy, so you kept Tom at the academy for a few weeks. When Vinnie came back, we told Cordelia that he was a new dog, named Vinegar Tom as tribute.”

“Yes! That’s exactly what happened.”

Faustus was smiling at his wife when his feet felt warm. He looked down to see Vinnie sitting on his shoes. He picked up   the dog and, together with Zelda, petted him. “I’m glad you have your soul mate back.”

“I’m glad I have both my soul mates back.”

“You said that to me before. The night VT came back.”

 5 minutes later,  with everyone around the table, Faustus finally realized who was  missing. G  He was about ask when the front door opened.

“Hi all. Sorry I’m late.”

Before he realized he was doing it, Faustus ran to her and hugged her. “Sabrina!”

“Hi Uncle Faustus. Nice to see you too.”

“Your tongue! For the love of Hecate, please show me your tongue!”

“O-okay.” Sabrina spit out her tongue.

“Pink and normal. Yes!”

“What’s with him?” Asked Sabrina.

Zelda came up behind her husband. “Your uncle had an awful dream last night. I’m afraid he’s still recovering.”

“Oh, well, don’t worry, it’s just a dream.” Sabrina kissed his cheek.

Faustus was still feeling his cheek when Zelda took his hand and led him back to the table. “1 more question, have any of you ever felt like you ever on a tv show?”

[rizzityrabbit]

WARNING: if you haven’t seen Scott Pilgrim vs. The World yet this will contain spoilers. You should really watch it, it’s amazing!

So I watched Scott Pilgrim for the first time just now, and I was excepting to feel foolish for not watching it sooner but to be honest I kind of don’t. I have never felt so connected to a character in my life. Like emotionally and just he feels like an odd dirty mirror for me as well. Scott plays bass guitar, is Canadian, in his early 20s, is a complete dork, and is into girls with wild spirits and colourful hair, which are all things that apply to me. Now things I can’t connect with are the whole cheating thing and fighting people but I just felt really connected to him through out the entire movie. So much so that it hit so extremely hard in the feels I was holding back tears when he accepts respecting him self as a person. The part that really got me was at the end when he was supposed to fight himself and instead he didn’t beat himself up about anything he’s done or defeated his past he just talked, worked things out with himself, and setup plans for just himself to connect with his own self, not for anyone else not for the girl he loves not for his friends but just him technically. This really hit hard for me because I know I haven’t done this for myself in way. I know I haven’t forgiven myself for the dumb things i’ve done, I know I beat myself up about those things and not being better. So I don’t regret not seeing this movie earlier because I think current me needed to see it now instead of when it wouldn’t have mattered so much. It was so weird because I wasn’t expecting to get so emotional over a movie that is basically a live action comic book (An awesome comic book but still). I can at least say with a lot of confidence it is my favourite movie ever made now. 

[doverly]

The Garden of Erin

Erin made a world, her world, her garden when she was twelve. For years she maintained it, tended to it, cared for it. Until life got in the way. Perhaps it’s time for a new gardener?

~2k

Enjoy!

Her desk was dirty, but she knew that it wouldn’t take too long to clean it. Two bowls of dried ramen could be soaked in the sink, various wrappers could be put in the trash. A dusty lamp would be wiped down. What really drew her attention wasn’t the mess, but the piece of paper sitting in the middle of it. An acceptance letter, the one she had been waiting for. Outside the window, across from her, the sun was rising. Rays rippling through the clouds, all pastel and beautiful. She had been up all night, finally she could get some rest. Return to the place that she hadn’t been in what seemed like forever. Erin closed her eyes. 

Erin opened her eyes, but all she saw was darkness. That was to be expected though, she had been gone so long. Why bother to light the main chamber if they weren’t sure she would be there. If they weren’t sure she was even coming back. Of course, she could have remedied the darkness easily. Will the torches to turn on, summon a ball of light, or more crudely just destroy the ceiling entirely. But Erin didn’t employ any of her many, many options. Instead, she waited.

Before long sunlight started to dapple through the stained glass windows. Instead of the bright, blinding white light that Erin was used to, the sun that illuminated her at that instant had a slight pink tint. Every time she went outside the temple, Erin always had to smile. Just seeing the sun reminded her she was in a better place, that was why she made it that way.

Once the sun was fully up Erin could sense movement coming from the rest of the temple. She was laying down, ear to the giant pillow she was on. Her hearing was enhanced so even though one ear was muffled she could catch snippets of conversation from beyond the stone walls of the main chamber. It wouldn’t be long before the doors were open, and someone came in for the daily check. Originally the check would be to bring her offerings and happenings from the two kingdoms, but Erin knew nothing would be brought to her that morning. The check was customary, just to honor a goddess they were sure had left. Just to honor all that Erin had done for them.

The doors were opening, and Erin fully opened both of her eyes. Gently brushing her long iridescent hair back, Erin watches as the doors fully opened. Wondering who had come to check on her. 

A gasp, “Is that you? Have you finally returned to us? Eden?”

Erin smiled slowly upon hearing the name she had chosen them to call her. It spoke of whimsy and creation, and even though it didn’t quite fit her anymore, she still loved it. 

She was laying down so nodding wasn’t an option, so Erin spoke. Hearing a voice that was so similar to her own but had much more depth. So much more airy and delicate, but it spoke to a hidden strength that Erin loved.

“Come closer, my child.”

The person at the door, the voice seemed male but Erin didn’t want to assume anything, hesitated, hand lingering on the door, wavering on whether they could believe their senses.

“Eden, is that really you?” They asked again, doubt creeping into their tone, “Iris is just playing a trick on me right?”

Tears came into Erin’s eyes, “It hurts me that you would doubt me, my child, but the fault is my own. I have left you alone for too long, and I just beg that you will forgive me.”

Hearing those words, the person steeled themselves and approached the dais that Erin was resting on. Slowly at first, convinced that it was a trick but faster and faster once they saw what was resting on the giant pillow. It was the person’s turn to cry once they reached the foot of the dais. Erin saw that it was a man that was approaching her, albeit a young one. One that looked very familiar to her. The man started climbing the stairs to the dais, running up to the goddess who he thought he would never see again.

“Dante?” Erin asked, already knowing the answer, “Is that you my child?”

Dante tripped once Erin said his name. Cutting his knee on the stairs and wincing. Without even a wave of the hand or a blink of an eye, Erin caused the stairs to become a slope. But instead of sliding down, Dante slid up the slope toward Erin. Once he reached the top and was sitting just outside of the pillow Erin changed the slope back into stairs. It was designed, as such, to prevent an attack upon Erin. Not that there would be an attack. The world Erin created was far too peaceful for that. But still Erin knew she couldn’t be too careful.

Even though she could have fixed his knee with no fuss, Erin instead decided to move. Slowly and deliberately Erin moved her arm and used her hand to touch his knee. When she was making the world Erin decided that she needed to be larger than life, and she was. Even laying down Erin was still taller than the almost grown man standing before her. She always had to be careful when touching the people she created, Erin didn’t want to hurt them. Once Erin touched Dante’s knee it was healed, in fact it felt better than it had in a while. All of Dante did. Sensing stress and minor abnormalities, badly healed bones, and tense muscles, Erin healed them all. 

“Do you feel better, Dante?” Erin decided to drop the, my child, thing. Another part of the world she had made that didn’t seem right to her anymore.

Dante nodded, and looked up, tears still in his eyes. He was trying to contain himself, but the tears kept flowing. Erin looked at Dante as well. The last time she had seen him he was a baby, recently orphaned and being raised in the temple. Now he looked about twenty. Around Erin’s actual age. It was funny how things changed.

“Tell me Dante, how many temple workers are there?” Erin asked, curious to find out how many would be left after a twenty-year absence.

Dante did a quick count in his head, “Ten, and most are about thirty years older than me. No one new has come for years, and age took most of the people who were there when you left.”

Erin nodded, she knew it would happen. What had seemed like only six months to her, had been two decades to the world she had created. But what could she do? Her life in her world simply seemed more important than the world she had created. And it would only get more so when she started med school. If six months was twenty years, then what of a year. Two years? How long could she justify leaving her people to fend for themselves. There was only one thing that she could do, but it would be the hardest decision of her life.

But before she could make the preparations there was something Erin needed to do, “Dante, can you…?”

Erin was about to make a request but Dante cut her off, “Wait a second, please! I have to get everyone, they have to see you. Everyone will be over the moons!”

Dante rushed out of the room, and Erin giggled. The five moons that moved across the sky in her world were overkill, Erin could admit that. But they had a certain charm that she just couldn’t bring herself to remove. While she waited Erin observed the state of her chamber. No dust, no pests, no cracks in the windows or the walls. Even though she hadn’t been there for years, they still maintained her chamber. Even the pillow she was lying on was as soft and velvety as the day she had received it.

Both doors swung open as the ten people left working in the temple. More tears were shed, and Erin couldn’t even be mad that in all the rush the torches hadn’t even been lit. By that point the sun had completely risen and was pouring in through every glass wall or ceiling in the chamber.

The torches are just for nights, anyway, Erin thought as the temple workers climbed up the stairs, albeit with far more grace than Dante had.

A woman was the first to reach Erin. She had sprinted from the door and up the steps. Legs moving far faster than even Dante despite her being about fifty years old. Erin knew the woman from her movements, her neatly slicked back yellow blonde hair. Even though new scars had been added to her, up her neck, face, hands, and everywhere else Erin could see, it was still her, still the woman she knew.

“Hello Iris,” Erin said, affectionately pulling the woman into her in a sort of side hug.

Iris hugged back with full force, only coming up for air when she realized that her tears were staining the front of Erin’s flowing silk dress.

“I’m sorry, Eden, I’ll wash it, I swear. I’m just so glad to see you!” 

Erin waved her off, “It’s fine Iris, I’ll be fine. How have you been?”

That last question was more addressed to the entire room than Iris specifically. Immediately everyone began to describe what life was like living without her for twenty years. The pilgrims they had to turn away, the new monarchs that hadn't been properly coronated, but what was the worst was the doubt. Doubt that she would never return, and worse, that she had never existed at all. That their great goddess, Eden, had just been a figment of their imagination.

Erin had to give out many hugs that came with healing, before the tears stopped. Everyone was on the pillow by that point, and that was the way Erin liked it. Surrounded by people who believed in her, just chatting. All the temple workers she had meticulously picked out were older, and slower, but that didn’t matter to Erin. All that matters was that they were there. It was going to be the last time she would see them after all.

Dante was leaning on Erin, just enjoying the presence of the goddess that he had been hearing stories about when he remembered something, “Hey Eden, what did you want me to do before I went out and got everyone?”

Erin had forgotten about it herself, but when Dante reminded her it was suddenly on the forefront of her mind, “Oh I wanted you to braid my hair and prepare a litter. I feel like going outside.”

Erin felt a bit weird asking her now middle-aged temple workers to do so much after a long absence, but she really needed to go outside. Feel flowers underneath her, sun on her face, smell the breeze. Remember what it had felt like when she was making all it, the joy of pure creation. One last time.

But the temple workers jumped to complete Erin’s orders. The strongest among them left to get the litter, while the rest of them started braiding her hair. It was hard to braid her hair while she was laying down, but if she was sitting up, it would have been much harder. Even the tallest person in the world she had created couldn’t reach up to her head when she was sitting down. Let alone actually standing up. Feeling the hands running through her hair and hearing the feet running around the rest of the temple, Erin got reminiscent. She remembered when she had first decided to make herself far larger than the people in her world; she wasn’t sure how much bigger, but several times bigger than the regular proportions. But it had been a shock at first. How much wind just lifting her arm created, how odd it felt to move. For a while she thought of going back, but eventually Erin decided against it. If even the largest person in her world was a child compared to her, then there would always be someone to look up to. Always be someone to protect them, and that was the main thing Erin wanted to personify. Protection.

Iris, Dante, and two other temple workers, Erin knew their names were Remi and Harris, came back with the litter. They used stilts to make it level with the top of the dais and then raced up the stairs hoping to help finish Erin’s braid. With ten people, the work went much faster. Everyone, including Erin, got a great kick out the noise of awe Dante was making. Him being the only one who had never touched Erin’s hair before. 

Her hair was done before long, and then it was time to get onto the litter. Before, Erin used to crawl onto the litter, but after a while it started to feel odd. So she had her temple workers pick up her pillow by the tassels and lift her onto the litter. Once she was on, Iris, Dante, Remi, and Michal raced down the dais and took their places at the four corners of the litter. There was a bump when the litter was transferred to their shoulder, but they were off smoothly after that. 

The litter was made of lightweight “coral wood” trees that Erin had made for the exact purpose of making the litter. They had gone extinct soon after, but they had fulfilled their purpose. On its own the litter was very manageable for two people, the second person really only required for balance. But that still wasn’t enough for Erin. Ignoring the spacial and physical rules she had made for her own world, Erin had made her body light. Equivalent to about one and half regular people instead of the dozen it would have been if she hadn’t intervened. Still Erin was a bit nervous. The people holding the litter weren’t as young as they used to be. Hand on the litter, Erin sent out strength through the pink-toned wood, to the hands of the temple workers, and into their bodies. Only when their pace increased was Erin sure they would be all right.

On the way out they went through the main arteries of the temple. Decorative plants grew up and down the walls. Carefully tended and blooming year round. Erin didn’t know how she had lived without seeing the rounded ceilings and pinky sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows. As they approached, the door Erin looked at the stained glass. It had been designed for her birthday, detailing the way she had created their entire world. Splitting the kingdoms, putting the fish into the rivers, dappling the moons with intricate patterns. Most of it was either wholly exaggerated or made up, but Erin was flattered nonetheless. 

When they finally got outside Erin was delighted. The gardens were exactly as she left them. Flowers growing free and wild, the paths being the only defined thing in the area surrounding the temple. Just the smell of the flowers basking in the sunlight was enough to put a smile on everyone’s face. Though Erin was close to tears.

“Set me down, please,” Erin whispered, the wind carried her voice to the ears of the temple workers and a second later the litter was set down gently on the plants. 

Once down on the ground, Erin looked up at the sun. In the world Erin lived in, the sun was a white-hot ball of gas and flame. When she was younger Erin used to sneak peeks at it. She just couldn’t help herself, no matter what her parents said, it was just too big and bright for her to ignore. Erin wasn’t that far removed from her child self when she created her world, so she made the sun the way she wanted it to. 

Bright and with a pink ting, children were encouraged to look at it. See what colours they could see in its bright depths. No eye damage, no sun burns. Just warmth and light from the sun that Erin created.

“I love all of you,” Erin whispered, though the temple workers sitting by the litter didn’t hear her this time, “I’m so glad I got to see all of this one last time.” 

Erin closed her eyes and smelled the breeze, warmed by her sun and sweetened by her flowers. The last time she would ever experience the world she had created. 

Erin opened her eyes. Her desk was still a mess, and the sun had only just begun its rise. Two months of vacation, just two months to find the person who would take care of her world. But she had to do it. 

Erin couldn’t let her garden wither.

That it, I know, an actual short story. Usually there would be another 10k, I guess I’ve managed to contain myself this time. If you want more with this story, let me know. I’ve got so much more bouncing around my head about this, about Erin, about what happens to her world. About the many worlds in her universe. 

As always, tell me if you liked it, how you didn’t like it, or how you despise me. But remember to stay safe, stay healthy, and have an exceptional day!

[kimabutch]

JLCR: kimabutch edition

To celebrate somehow reaching 1000 songs on Jam Like Critical Role, the giant fan-created playlist that I’ve been curating since February, I’ve decided to put together a mini-playlist of own, featuring two of my favourite songs for each member of Vox Machina and The Mighty Nein! Each song has a YouTube link, but you can find the whole mini-playlist on Spotify here.

By mini-playlist I meant that there are “only” 36 songs, and also that I’ve pulled out my favourite lines and explained why I associate the song with them, so that this whole thing is approximately 5400 words long. I tried to restrain myself, but, well, Jam Like Critical Role is a testament to my lack of self-restraint. If it helps, I’ve tried to incorporate a diversity of artists, eras, and genres, from folk-punk to techno, country, dream-pop, classical, and beyond. I hope you find something you enjoy.

Grog

We’re Going To Be Friends, Jack Johnson (cover of White Stripes), for Grog and Pike’s incredibly wholesome childhood friendship. While many of the lyrics describe friends at school, which is not totally accurate for them, I can just imagine the two weirdos playing among the bugs:

“Walk with me, Suzy Lee/ Through the park and by the tree/ We can rest upon the ground/ And look at all the bugs we’ve found”

Not to mention Pike teaching Grog his ABCs:

“Tonight I’ll dream while in my bed/ While silly thoughts run through my head/ Of the bugs and alphabet”

I just love these two silly monstahs.

Giant, Juno Reactor: to balance out that last song, have some techno that makes me want to yell “Vox Machina, Fuck. Shit. UP!” and split Kevdak in half with a nat 20 from the sky. Appropriately named for our goliath friend, this song always temporarily convinces me that I, too, am a seven foot tall barbarian (which is not recommended while you are trying to do anything that requires brainpower.)

Keyleth

I Lost Myself, Lauren Mann and The Fairly Odd Folk, for Keyleth’s self-doubt about whether she can do her Aramente (or whether she even wants to) and fear that she’s hurting everyone:

“I’ve got voices in my head Making me think that this is where I end Hey, what do you see, if anything What do you see in me”

This specifically reminds me of her Aramente, and how it taught her so much more than she was expecting:

“You and me we made a plan To travel from here to there and back again Somewhere on that weathered road I found the dreams that I’d been looking for”

And “Hey, we’ve got the world to see/ So let’s forget our anxieties and get on our way” makes me think of Keyleth and Percy’s friendship, and how both of their stories are about trying to figure out what to do once you’ve achieved your goals. I want to think that after the story ended, they were still occasionally able to leave behind their responsibilities and travel the world together.

Take Us Back, Alela Diane, for a post-canon Keyleth, reminiscing on the old days and eventually outliving the rest of Vox Machina. I get a strong image of Kiki coming down from Zephra to see her friends:

“Atop the crags and cliffs the air is thin/ So we’ll find a mountain path on down the hill/ Meet me where the snowmelt flows/ It is there, my dear, where we’ll begin again”

And of her listening to Scanlan’s music, centuries later; they’d be the last two alive: “I’ve a friend who lives out by the river’s mouth/ He knows the fiddle’s cry is an old sound”

And then Keyleth, alone, listening to a river’s gurgle or the wind’s howling, and almost thinking she hears her friends: “Muted voices, just beyond/ The silent surface of what has gone.”

Percival

The Devil Spoke Here, Chicken Little, which I think is actually about the aftermath of a protest, but which I feel works eerily well for Percy’s development following the Briarwood arc. The beginning reminds me of his guilt, feelings of brokenness, and anger issues after he’s cast out Orthax — right down to his guilt about guns:

“There’s bullets in the streets/ and broken dishes on the floor/   enough anger in my heart/   to take the blame for it all/   I could take every bullet back/   if I could never feel like that”

It also covers Percy’s realization, after his conversation with the Raven Queen, that he’s free from the judgment of the gods, and acceptance that he’s the one who has bad thoughts for the greater good:

“I have no god for guidance/ still I’m praying all the same/ may everything I do/ be done for everybody’s gain”

And then this, for a reason that I can’t quite explain, feels so much like Percy’s forgiveness of Ripley at Glintshore, and his death at her hand:

“May we always fail/ with the best of intentions/   with our hearts always pure/   and our souls only human”

Wandering Star, Portishead: the weird trip hop vibe to this song somehow feels appropriate to Percy, and in particular to his darkest thoughts. The song addresses the possible punishments for these thoughts: “Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved/ The blackness, the darkness, forever.” It helps that this is an allusion to a Bible passage about atheists.

The second verse makes me think both of Percy’s relationship to the concept of eternity (because of the “needle’s eye” — a parable about the entrance of heaven for the rich) and his raven mask:

“Those who have seen the needle’s eye, now tread Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled And the masks that the monsters wear To feed, upon their prey”

Additionally, “Doubled up inside/ Take a while to shed my grief” is reminiscent of Percy’s revelation, in the last episode, that he just really fucking misses his family. This whole time, something inside of him has been curled up into a little ball like the teenager he was five years ago, grieving his family.

Pike

Holy, Jamily Woods: a song about self-love and self-assurance, underscored by Christian imagery:

“Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no love/ Oh my smile my mind reassure me I don’t need no one […] Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me”

Many of the lyrics can be interpreted either as the singer being self-sufficient because her god is there — or being sufficient even beyond her god: “I’m not lonely, I’m alone/ And I’m holy by my own.”

I think both interpretations work for Pike: that she has found (or is attempting to find) peace when she’s not with her friends, or that although she worships Sarenrae, the Everlight doesn’t necessarily interfere in her day-to-day life and she makes her own happiness. Either way, the song makes me feel at peace in the same way that Pike does.

The Otherside, Ohbijou, for Pike’s feelings about Scanlan during the year gap. Particularly, I’m reminded of Pike’s attempts to talk to Scanlan on the earring: “With things left unsaid so unsatisfied/ And a burning to hear your voice just one more time.”

And in these lyrics:

“And it’s so silly for me to worry/ About situations that don’t exist/ We create these problems and try to solve them/ Why waste each passing moment?”

I hear Pike trying to figure out her feelings for Scanlan, but shooting herself down because he’s gone, why even try?

Scanlan

The Pilgrim - Chapter 33, Willie Nelson (cover of Kris Kristofferson), which really encapsulates, for me, Scanlan’s complex relationship with religion: the fact that a guy who regularly produces lightning from his dick, messes with people’s memories, and actively attempts to cultivate a drug habit finds himself praying to the Everlight at night and eventually becomes Ioun’s chosen:

“He’s a poet, he’s a picker/ He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher/ He’s a pilgrim and a preacher/ And a problem when he’s stoned”

The lines “He’s a walking contradiction/ Partly truth and partly fiction” reminds me of all the identities he’s taken on, both for fun and to shield his emotions from his friends, whereas “Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home” makes me think of Scanlan’s long road back to Vox Machina after leaving them.

Handle With Care, Traveling Wilburys: almost every single song on this album works for Scanlan, so choosing just one was a real challenge. But this song is so good for all the shit that Scanlan’s been through (and all the shit that he’s been), and his relationship with Pike through all of that:

“Been beat up and battered around/ Been sent up, and I’ve been shot down/ You’re the best thing that I’ve ever found/ Handle me with care […]”

“Everybody’s got somebody to lean on” reminds me of Scanlan’s feeling, in episode 85, that he’s the odd one out in Vox Machina.

The last verse encapsulates Scanlan acknowledging his own fuck ups, working to make them right, and eventually, having a healthy relationship with Pike:

“I’ve been uptight and made a mess/ But I’ll clean it up myself, I guess/ Oh, the sweet smell of success”

Taryon

Father and Son, Cat Stevens, for Tary’s relationship with his father and his decision to leave home; the song is a duet of sorts. I think the father’s part of the song is a little generous for Howaardt Darrington, but retains the message of (somewhat condescendingly) trying to keep his son at home and have him reconsider his far-reaching plans: “I know that it’s not easy to be calm/ When you’ve found something going on.”

The son’s part, though, captures Tary’s frustration with his father’s strictness and inability to actually understand his passions:

“How can I try to explain?/ ‘Cause when I do he turns away again/ It’s always been the same, same old story/ From the moment I could talk/ I was ordered to listen/ Now there’s a way and I know/ That I have to go away”

And the last verse is some real closeted gay feelings that always make me tear up:

“All the times that I cried/ Keeping all the things I knew inside/ It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it”

What’s It Gonna Be, Shura, not so much for the song’s lyrics, but for its music video, which is all about falling for a different gender than you expected, and which is incredibly sweet and beautiful.

That being said, you could definitely take the lyrics to be about his crush on Percy and his obliviousness about who in Vox Machina is sleeping with whom:

“Do I tell you I love you or not?/ 'Cause I can’t really guess what you want/ If you let me down, let me down slow”

Vax’ildan

Glorious, Muse, for Vax’s early relationship with faith. He can’t help but feel drawn towards Sarenrae’s light, even as he has doubts and perhaps even anger towards the gods:

Faith: It drives me away/ But it turns me on/ Like a stranger’s love It rockets through the universe It fuels the lies and feeds the curse And we, too, could be glorious”

He wants that glory that he sees in Pike, but he doesn’t know how to approach it or reconcile it with his life experiences. And then he finds his whole world shattered as he’s chosen by the Raven Queen, and he once again has to find faith, though in a way that he never expected:

“I need to believe But I still want more With the cuts and the bruises”

Fields of Gold, Sting: a song from Vax to Keyleth. I can imagine them so perfectly in this scene, perhaps during their year of downtime, with the winds of Zephra blowing through the fields and their hope beyond hope that they’ll be able to stay together:

“Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?/ Upon the fields of barley/ We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky/ As we lie in fields of gold”

“See the west wind move like a lover so/ Upon the fields of barley/ Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth/ Among the fields of gold”

Years later, Vax knows that Keyleth will see those fields again and think of him: “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves/ Upon the fields of barley.”

Vex’ahlia

Half Jack, The Dresden Dolls: a truly haunting song about the pain and unavoidability of being her father’s daughter — she’s always half Jill (her mother) and half Jack (her father.) The whole song is incredibly painful for Vex, and the lines:

“It might destroy me But I’d sacrifice my body If it meant I’d get the Jack part out”

always makes me think of “If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would.” Also,

“But if you listen/ You’ll learn to hear the difference/ Between the halfs and the half nots”

reminds me of her asking Percy if she looks like she comes from money — or a younger Vex, in Syngorn, gradually realizing why everyone looked down on her and Vax. Lastly, isn’t “I see my mother in my face/ But only when I travel” absolutely heartbreaking for her?

Fall Down or Fly, Lindi Ortega, only partly because Lindi Ortega strongly resembles my headcanon for Vex. The other part is because of my abiding love for how Vex learned to fly, and how that worked with her character arc: from the first time, in the Briarwoods arc, that she discovered her love for flying, to her flaunting convention and stealing the broom, to Percy modifying it for her, to her friends cheering her on with chicken target practice, and finally to her soaring through the skies with confidence. And the song captures that so well for me, as well as her decision to keep going even when her father, Saundor’s words, and her own self-doubt bring her down:

“This is your life/ You can fall down or fly/ You can burn out a shot if you want/ This is your life/ You can live it or die/ You can quit now or try if you want/ But don’t you give up, don’t you give up”

This also reminds me of how much all of Vox Machina adores and supports Vex (and I will join them in crying about how awesome she is):

“You said what is there to lose?/ Do it if you choose/ I got faith in you/ Everything you do/ I know you are gonna make it to the top”

(I also maintain that a modern Vex would be really into country music, particularly the genre of country song in which women tell people to fuck off.)

Vox Machina

Call Them Brothers, Regina Spektor feat. Only Son, for Scanlan’s departure from Vox Machina and the whole team’s attempts to deal with it. I first heard this song in an absolutely heartbreaking TAZ animatic, and my pain increased exponentially when I realized how much it also worked for Critical Role. It’s perfect, in my opinion, for the sense that their family, which has seen them through so much, is irreparably broken — “That’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover/ Just frame the halves and call them brothers.”

But then you also get “Over and over, they call us their friends/ Can’t we find something else to pretend?” for Scanlan’s insistence that Vox Machina doesn’t really care about him, and “Find your fathers and your mothers/ If you remember who they are” for “what’s my mother’s name?”

Maybe this should go on Scanlan’s playlist, but I think “The hunt is on, everyone’s chasing a shot” also works for the way that the rest of Vox Machina independently searched for Scanlan during their year of downtime… and the feelings of defeat in the song just feel appropriate to the whole group.

(I actually have a playlist full of songs for episode 85, because I enjoy making myself sad; it took a lot of effort not to put them all here.)

Freaks, The Hawk in Paris: I can never decide whether this is a Mighty Nein or Vox Machina song, but I’m putting it here mostly because “If you come along with us, the doors are never ending” is absolutely hilarious in for Vox Machina’s single greatest enemy.

That, and there are a lot of lines that work for individual members of the group: “We have a flair for the shade and the inbetween” (Vax); “We like to run with the wolves from the darker scene” (Keyleth); “When we turn the safety off, the shots are automatic” (Percy); “All our friends tell their friends we’re so dramatic” (Scanlan); and “We’ll make you swoon, make it hurt just a little” (Vex).

Additionally, “We have a plan, we’ve got the means for your liberation/ You’ll only have to blur the lines on a few occasions” makes me think of the Briarwood arc, and I makes me think of Percy dramatically revealing his identity to the priest — and cut to Grog pulling out a guy’s tongue.

Anyways, if I learn to make AMVs by the time that the animated series is released, this will be the first that I’ll make.

Beauregard

Saint Simon, The Shins, for Beau’s escape from the Cobalt Soul. The song expresses frustration at weighty intellectualism and how much it doesn’t teach you — which i think is something Beau felt strongly with her monk teachers:

“After all these implements and texts designed by intellects/ So vexed to find, evidently there’s still so much that hides […] Since I don’t have time nor mind to figure out the nursery rhymes/ That helped us out in making sense of our lives”

So she tries not to care about anything because it’s safer that way (“The cruel, uneventful state of apathy releases me”), and she runs away:

“I’ll try hard not to give in, batten down to fare the wind/ Rid my head of this pretence, allow myself no mock defence/ Step into the night”

I think the last part of the song could also work for her meeting the Mighty Nein and starts understanding friendship and love: “Mercy’s eyes are blue when she places them in front of you/ Nothing really holds a candle to the solemn warmth you feel inside you.”

Jonas and Ezekiel, Indigo Girls, because what kind of lesbian would I be if I didn’t put at least one gay-written song on Beau’s playlist? This one is about road trips, wandering, and looking for a purpose:

“I left my anger in a river running Highway 5 New Hampshire, Vermont, bordered by College farms, hubcaps, and falling rocks Voices in the woods and the mountaintops”

But also contains one verse that I think fits her strict family, her new family in the Mighty Nein, and the “devils” — or tieflings — of which her family would certainly not approve:

“Now when I was young my people taught me well/ Give back what you take or you’ll go to hell/ It’s not the devil’s land, you know it’s not that kind/ Every devil I meet becomes a friend of mine/ Every devil I meet is an angel in disguise”

And something about this reminds me of her journey into Xhorhas and attempts to uncover conspiracies and work out the truth: “In the war over land where the world began/ Prophecies say it’s where the world will end.”

Caduceus

Born at the Right Time, Paul Simon, for Caduceus’s belief in destiny and his place therein. The chorus describes his occasional naïveté, and the happiness of his life in the Blooming Grove, with his family:

“Never been lonely Never been lied to Never had to scuffle in fear Nothing denied to”

And then gets into his conviction that his goddess and the world itself put him where he is:

“Born at the instant/ The church bells chime/ And the whole world whispering/ Born at the right time”

The very chill vibe of the song is also very Clay, to me.

Happy All the Time, Danny Schmidt: the singer himself has said that he doesn’t know whether or not this song is ironic and/or melancholic, so I’m going to go with a sincere and cheerful interpretation for Caduceus, with maybe a hint of nostalgia for more peaceful days among his family. It’s got some incredibly lush and occasionally strange nature imagery that I think is perfect for him:

“I took the time to breathe cause I was happy all the time/ Among the rootbuds and the weeds cause I was happy all the time/ But the peat moss and the leaves took turns with both my feet/ Until my toes took root and I was happy, I was happy all the time”

I think Caduceus is still happy, but he was definitely at peace as a hermit.

Caleb

I Miss That Feeling, Tennis: a song about panic attacks and how the physical effects, when described, almost seem like falling in love. It works not only for Caleb’s panic attacks, but also, relatedly, his relationship with fire, which scares him, even as he likes the way it feels — “Something like pleasure, you’d never believe it.”

The fiery way that the singer describes panic attacks is also very Caleb:

“I miss that feeling/ Flicker hot and hovering/ Like my own discovering/ Eagerly, tenderly/ I miss that feeling/ Flicker spread into an itch/ Into a burn, into a twitch/ Slow and even”

It brings me back to the first time we saw it, in the gnoll mines. Also, “Every little thing starts trembling/ Recorded by the needle of an EKG” feels very reminiscent of his hospitalization, though from a modern perspective.

Putting the Dog to Sleep, The Antlers, for Caleb’s very tentative trust in the Mighty Nein, and in particular his friendship with Beau. I think this song really encapsulates Caleb’s pain and skittishness, especially near the beginning of their campaign, as well as his desperation (unknown even to himself) to love again:

“Well, prove to me I’m not gonna die alone/ Unstitch that shit I’ve sewn/ To close up the hole that tore through my skin/ Well my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg/ Tendons too torn to beg for you to let me back in”

And this feels like something that Beau would say to Caleb — upfront and caring all at the same time, reminding him that his actions affect everyone else and asking him not to run:

“You said, ‘I can’t prove to you you’re not gonna die alone/ But trust me to take you home/ To clean up that blood all over your paws/ You can’t keep running out […] Kicking yourself in the head/ Because you’re kicking me too.’”

By the end of the song, Caleb is starting to believe her, and even asking her to trust him: “Put your trust in me/ I’m not gonna die alone… I don’t think so…”

Fjord

Release the Kraken, The Daysleepers: I added this to Fjord’s playlist back when everyone was speculating that his patron was something kraken-like, and even now that this is clearly not the case, I think it still works for Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) and his attempts at freedom: “It pulled the ships down/ It’s rising from the deep below.”

But also for Fjord’s relationship with Avantika — for his attempts to get close to her in order to save himself and his friends:  

“Turn the lights down Careful as a serpent’s tongue Move without a sound Gentle as the cold wind moans”

I think “When you sold love/ Your heart becomes a monster” is some of what Fjord felt after those encounters: like he gave part of himself away.

21st Century Child, Daggy Man, for Fjord’s self-hatred and the masks he puts on. Many of the lyrics could fit several characters (particularly Beau, Caleb, and Scanlan), but

“I hate the sound of myself/ When I’m being honest/ Sounds like somebody else/ And I don’t wanna listen/ To the whinings of a 21st century child”

just perfectly captures his feelings about his voice and his past self — weak and whiny, and not who he wants to be. And then we get these lines, which feel like a good summary of his issues with identity and deception:

“And I’ve struggled with how/ Others perceive me/ And I can’t tell if I’m better/ Or just better at deceiving And I’ll keep going until I’m called out”

Jester

The Sweetest Sounds, Ella Fitzgerald (cover of Richard Rodgers), for pre-stream Jester barely waiting for her exciting life to begin. I first heard this song in Rodger & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, and while there is something fairy-tale-like about Jester, I think this upbeat, jazzy cover fits her well:

“The most entrancing sight of all Is yet for me to see And the dearest love in all the world Is waiting somewhere for me”

I can just imagine a 10-year-old Jester listening to the band at the Lavish Chateau play this song, dressing up in Marion’s clothes, and pretending she’s in a storybook romance.

One Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette, which really captures her beautiful complexity:

“I’m free, but I’m focused/ I’m green, but I’m wise/ I’m hard, but I’m friendly/ I’m sad, but I’m laughing”

because Jester is so many things all at once, and none of them negate each other. It’s so hopeful (“What it all comes down to/ Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright”) and comforting (“What it all boils down to/ Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet”) in a way that really reminds me of my favourite blue cleric.

The whole song has such a fun, free, summer vibe that always makes me smile — just like Jester.

Mollymauk

Carnival Overture, Antonín Dvořák (Leonard Bernstein & New York Philharmonic Orchestra): one of my favourite pieces of classical music ever — when I hear it, an entire music video about a carnival plays in my head. The exuberant theme that bowls you over from the start reminds me of Molly’s effervescent, ostentatious personality.

The slower and quieter part in the middle with the violin and woodwind solos gives me a picture of Molly and Yasha sitting alone in the evenings just outside the carnival encampment, cuddled together — Yasha talking about her wife, Molly telling jokes, and the both of them making up names for constellations and flowers. Then the quick-paced minor section makes me think of the bloodhunter tiefling in combat, deadly with his swords and vicious mockery — before the return to the joyful, triumphant original theme.

Wonderful Everyday, Chance the Rapper & The Social Experiment**: this is sort of a cover of the Arthur theme song, but in the absolute best way possible. The meandering, loose, and extraordinarily happy vocals always remind me of Molly’s way of living.

Although some of the lyrics are more optimistic than Molly (I think he’d laugh at “Everybody that you meet/ Has an original point of view” and say that their points of view are usually bullshit), the message of appreciating every single day is just wonderful for him.

And the last bit hits me like a ton of bricks:

“And when I go down/ I'ma go down swinging/ My eyes still smiling/ And my heart still singing”

“Eyes never shut,” indeed.

**not on Spotify, sorry!

Nott

The Sore Feet Song, Ally Kerr: at first it appears to be a simple song about traveling long distances to find your love, which certainly describes Nott’s search for Yeza: “I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you/ And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you.”

But the second verse is where it really gets into Nott’s thieving, rat-eating, badass ways:

“I stole ten thousand pounds, ten thousand pounds to see you I robbed convenient stores cause I thought they’d make it easier I lived off rats and toads, and I starved for you I fought off giants bears and I killed them too”

I love this strange little goblin.

Fox in the Snow, Belle & Sebastian: this song has always been a bit of a mystery to me, but the lyrics remind me of Nott’s intense vulnerability after she was transformed into a goblin — and in particular her self-image as something animalistic:

“Fox in the snow, where do you go/ To find something you could eat?/ Because the word out on the street is you are starving/ Don’t let yourself grow hungry now/ Don’t let yourself grow cold”

The second verse, which switches to describing a human girl, reminds me of pre-transformation Veth, more acceptable in body but no less socially ostracized than Nott:

“Girl in the snow, where do you go/ To find someone that will do?/ To tell someone all the truth before it kills you/ Listen to your crazy laugh/ Before you hang a right/ And disappear from sight/ What do they know anyway?”

I can just see that exact scene play out with a young Veth, right down to the “crazy laugh.” I’m glad she found Yeza, but she must still have been pretty lonely without any other friends.

Yasha

Into the Barrens, Grizfolk, for Yasha’s years of blank wandering after Zuala’s death. This song fits Yasha so well that for months, I somehow tricked myself into believing that Ashley had put it on her playlist. But I feel like this encapsulates her hopeless feelings, away from all society, not living for anything or anyone:

“Cast me away, my shadow’s cold/ Into the barrens where I will grow old/ Well, I’m not looking for answers/ And I’m not looking for gold”

And I can see this verse for the beginning of her relationship with the Stormlord, following voices she can’t understand as she wanders, barely alive:

“The voices in my head/ They echo in the wind and I begin to sway/ I follow what they say/ I can’t see their eyes, but I hear howling through the haze”

Dreams, Fleetwood Mac: technically a break-up song, but I can’t help but think of Yasha’s ever-present guilt and her memories of Zuala when I hear:

“Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness/ Like a heartbeat drives you mad/ In the stillness of remembering what you had/ And what you lost”

The storm imagery also works for Yasha — “When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know” makes me think of her fight with the Stormlord on the boat, which allowed her to open up to her friends. And it touches on Yasha’s opaque dreams (“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions/ I keep my visions to myself”).

(Ally and Stevie also have a lesbian mash-up of Dreams and Rhiannon, two of the gayest Fleetwood Mac songs, that I associate strongly with Beauyasha.)

Mighty Nein

Old Black Train, The Blasting Company (from Over the Garden Wall): trains don’t exist in Exandria (yet! — Percy or Taryon should get on that) but this is more of a metaphor for life. It reminds me of the Mighty Nein setting out from Alfield, not knowing the twists and turns they were going to face, the places they’d go, nor the family they’d become:

“This journey is a long one/ It will take you all around/ Life rushing by your window/ Before it lays you down”

Then there’s this verse:

“Oh come on now young stranger/ Weren’t you someone’s son? How’d you find this depot 'Cause it ain’t where you belong”

which feels very appropriate for many members of the Mighty Nein, separated as they are from their families and wandering in lands that aren’t welcoming to them. There’s also a verse that’s reminiscent of the graveyard they passed on the way to Zadash, which more and more feels like a portent of things to come:

“You will pass a graveyard/ Stones worn by the years/ The train’ll stop a minute but don’t let it leave you here”

Sailing, Leisure Cruise: another song about transportation, although this one is a little less metaphorical. As you can probably guess, I associate it with their adventures on the Mystake and the Ball Eater, which begun by total accident but which, in my opinion, was a turning point for the group, and ultimately helped them grow closer together:

“And to our surprise we’re sailing The high seas in the middle of the ocean […] We’re sailing the wildest mystery And to our surprise we’re happy and free”

Okay, so maybe “happy and free” is a bit of an exaggeration for that arc (particularly for poor Nott) but I think there were a lot of moments in which the Mighty Nein learned unexpected lessons about themselves.

And I think this is a good summary of the Mighty Nein’s modus operandi: seize every passing opportunity, because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring:

“Maybe it’s today Maybe it’s tomorrow But we have to make a play Or the chance will fade away”

And that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening and reading. Love you all <3

[trade-baby-blues]

Taste of Home

Pairing: Bones x Reader

Word Count: 2292

Warnings: a swear, a little angst, soooooooo much fluff

A/N: Prompt “Character A overhears Character B’s Christmas wish and decides to fulfill it” requested by @kawaiiusagichansan for the Christmas celebration that I.....definitely....fell behind on. This one was....really hard to write for some reason so I’m not sure how it ended up being so long. Idk if I’m just not in a writing mood or if this is some weird writers block but...hopefully writing this has cured me. 

A crash from exam room two had every head in Medbay turned up to watch as an exasperated Leonard McCoy kneeled down to pick up the tools scattered across the floor. His foot connected with the tricorder, sending it skidding away from him. He stood, lips pursed, and rolled his his shoulders and neck. It was supposed to help him calm down, but the creaking of his bones only reminded him of how much he’d been working. How much he’d been missing.

Leonard opened his eyes at the sound of shuffling in front of him and Christine offered him the tricorder without any of her usual snark. Leonard wondered briefly how tired he must look. “Thank you,” he mumbled before making an excuse about paperwork in his office.

Once inside, Leonard dropped the tricorder on his desk and hunched down over it. It didn't respond to his touch, so with a clenched jaw and rising heart rate, he set to work trying to fix it. He must have gone through a dozen videos on fixing tricorders and was still no closer to reviving it. He mimicked the man in the video tightening a screw, expecting the screen to light up but receiving a nasty shock again.

Leonard succumbed to the rage for a moment and hurled the tricorder across the room. The office door slid open as the it sailed through the air, colliding with the door frame and missing Jim’s face by mere inches.

“I know I’m not a doctor, but I don't think that's how those work.”

Bones glared at Jim before deciding an argument wasn't worth it. “I’m not in the mood, Captain.” He sat back at his desk and hoped that would be enough of hint for Jim to leave. Of course, it wasn't.

Jim sat down in the chair across from Bones, propping his feet up on the desk and ignoring the pointed glare he received in response. “Good thing I'm not here as the captain then.”

“Then why are you here? You seem to be in perfect health. For now.” Bones reached across the desk to shove Jim’s feet off, but Jim’s damn smile didn't even falter.

“Cause I’m your friend. Friends need a reason to see each other now?”

Bones sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. “No. I’m sorry. I...I don’t know. I think I’m gettin’ restless being cooped up on this damn ship so long.”

“Hm,” Jim replied. “Didn’t expect you to apologize so this is awkward.” Bones raised an eyebrow in response, and Jim fidgeted like a child caught in a lie. “I might have hypothetically come here not to see you but to see the cute new Engineer I called to come fix your tricorder Hypothetically, of course.”

“Of course,” Bones snorted.

Although you wore the tell-tale red uniform of an Engineer, you specialized in medical equipment repair, which meant you spent most of your time in your workshop or in Medbay, tinkering away at whatever machinery was malfunctioning. It also meant you got to spend plenty of time getting to know a certain grumpy CMO. You tried your best to keep the relationship professional, but that didn’t stop your heart from jumping to your throat every time you got called up to Medbay.

You heard Leonard’s voice before you saw him, letting it guide you like a pilgrim to the altar as you approached his office. You stopped to savor the sound.

“A Christmas party will definitely not brighten my mood.” Even through the door, you could tell Bones was scowling.

“Come on, Bones. I bet we could get Scotty to hack the replicator to make some eggnog, and I’ve got a bottle of rum stashed away. Tell me that doesn’t sound like a good time.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Then what does sound good?” Silence followed. You stood closer to the door, trying to hear Bones’ answer but it didn’t come. “I’m trying to help, Bones, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what you want.”

“What I want is to see my daughter. To go home. To finally be off this stupid metal death trap careening through space.”

“I put a request in for shore leave. What else do you want me to do?”

“I want you to get out of my office.”

“Fine,” Jim snapped. You heard the creak of a chair as he stood and did your best to duck out of the way. Luckily, Jim stormed out of the office without a glance in your direction.

You poked your head in the doorway, eyeing Bones as he leaned over his desk, head in hands. You cleared your throat and he looked up. “I’m just gonna…” You picked up a small box with the remnants of what was once a tricorder. With a small smile, you rushed back out of the office, wishing your brain wouldn’t freeze up every time you so much as looked at Bones when all you wanted to do was help him. There had to be something that would cheer him up.

With a sigh, you dumped the tricorder corpse onto your desk, hands immediately getting to work while your mind wandered to Bones, conjuring up daydreams of clandestine meetings in storage closets between shifts or holding hands on the beach during the next shore leave. Dreams of meeting his family and chasing his daughter through a field of wildflowers or camping together under a summer sky in Georgia. Even if it was just a fantasy, you felt a pang of homesickness, and, for a second, you had a glimpse of what Bones must be feeling. You also had an idea of how to help him.

The plan took longer than anticipated, and by now it was damn near Christmas. The tricorder had long since been returned, and you and Bones continued to skirt the edges of romance, each of you waiting for the other to make the first move. Unable to find the words to tell Bones how you felt, you decided tonight was the night to show him.

He was just getting of a double shift in Medbay, stumbling back to his room like the zombie he felt like. Bones punched in the room code, ready to fall onto any flat surface, but freezing on the spot when the doors slid open and you stood before him in your civvies.

Bones closed his eyes and shook his head, expecting you to disappear when he opened them again but you stood firmly in his way. “Did I fall asleep on my desk again,” he murmured, taking you in. Your hair tumbled down to your shoulders, resting on a dark flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to your elbows. There was a slight sheen of sweat on your forehead and a blush rising to your cheeks as Bones reached out to you, thumb caressing your jaw. You really were a dream to him.

A slightly hysterical laugh slipped past your lips as you fought against your fight or flight response. “No, you’re not asleep. Unless we’re both having the same dream.”

“‘s a good one so far.”

“Well, it’s about to get better. Close your eyes.” Bones obeyed without question, squeezing your hand as you linked your fingers with his. You led him into his own room and pushed him gently down onto the couch.

“I’ve definitely had this dream before,” he said, reaching out to place his hands on your waist.

You jumped back, grabbing his other hand with yours and holding them both in place while your brain short-circuited looking for a response. All you could do was laugh again and let Bones’ hands fall to his lap. “Don’t open your eyes yet.”

He sucked in a breath as he heard your footsteps retreating. “That laugh might just kill me,” he breathed out. He leaned back against the couch as he waited for you to return.

You weren’t sure how long you watched him. Some people might have been annoyed that he fell asleep that quickly, but you could have stood there all night. He was like a statue carved from marble by divine hands, jaw set and strong, mouth turned up into a half-smile in his sleep. One arm was thrown over the back of the couch, leaving the vast expanse of his chest open for you to snuggle up against. He would probably be warm. Like a furnace. Hot enough to burn -

“Fuck,” you cursed, dropping the pie tin in your hand. You sucked your fingers into your mouth. Bones sat up straight, bewildered as he took in his surroundings before his eyes fell on you and the pie now at his feet. You cursed again as you bent down to pick it up. “Glad I made two,” you said, but your voice was far away to Bones, who stood up and stepped around you.

His eyes were transfixed on the contraption behind you. It looked like a makeshift fire pit built out of scrap metal and old paper scraps. A projector stood beside it, aimed up at the ceiling but not powered on. Bones turned to you for some explanation and his eye caught the flower display on the table. A bouquet of paper wildflowers with a Cherokee Rose dead center. He ran a hand over the petals and it felt almost like silk.

“I’ve never actually been to Georgia,” you admitted, “But that’s what all the guides say is the state flower.” You held out a plate to him with a slice of pecan pie. He stared at it and then you again. “If you don’t like it, I can also get you some cobbler. I reprogrammed the replicator to-”

Bones cut you off by throwing his arms around you. He buried his face in your neck, releasing a shaky breath that cascaded like a warm wind down your skin. You hugged him back as best you could with two hands full of pie, trying to comfort him as his shoulders started to shake. He pulled himself together quickly, pinching the bridge of his nose to dam the tears. “Thank you for this.”

“Oh, don't thank me yet,” you smiled, handing him a piece of pie, “we haven't even gotten to the best part.”

You all but skipped back into the living area, taking two couch cushions and tossing them on the floor by the fire pit. With the few button presses, the fire and projector both kicked to life. Bones stood, neck craned up to the ceiling as he took a bite of pie.

You patted the cushion next to you. “It’ll be easier if you lie down.”

“Mm, sugar, you can’t just say things like that,” Bones teased as he put his plate on the floor and settled down next to you. Your legs brushed, sending a shock up your body and putting your brain on red alert again. You grabbed the PADD next to you and shut the lights off to hide your nerves.

The room was plunged into near darkness, lifted only by the small fire crackling by your feet and the stars smattered against the ceiling. Bones stared in awe.

“That’s…”

“Cepheus,” you offered. “And Lynx over there.” You pointed to a patch of stars near the Big Dipper.

“No, that’s...that’s the view from my parents’ house. How did you…” Bones’ voice trailed off again as he turned his head to look at you. You shrugged.

“I called your parents and told them you were homesick. They said you used to stargaze whenever you got restless.”

“Yeah, it...It was Jo’s favorite. She could name damn near every constellation before her sixth birthday. Said one day she’d join me up here.”

“Oh,” you said, shooting up straight, “that reminds me.” Bones watched you jam a few buttons on your PADD before handing it over to him. The screen lit up as a video call connected. You weren’t sure who was holding their breath harder, you or Leonard.

Bones exhaled first, laughing as the call finally connected, revealing Jo’s smiling face beaming up on him. She sat on his parents’ porch, wrapped in a sweater and a blanket. She turned the camera up to the sky. “See Daddy! We’re not that far apart! I can see the same stars as you.”

His shoulders shook as he covered a sob with another laugh. “You’re right, pumpkin. Can you remind me what they’re all called?”

Jo let out a tired sigh, as if she were the adult and Leonard the child gnawing on her patience. “Did you forget again, Daddy?”

“Well, I can’t help that you got all the brains. I’ll do my best to remember this time.”

“Fine,” Jo said, turning the camera back to the sky. Her small hand poked into frame, pointing at a collection of stars. “This one’s Gemini because it looks like two people.  That one’s the Big Dipper, because it looks like a spoon. The Little Dipper looks like a spoon, too, but it’s little. That’s why it’s called the Little Dipper.” Jo continued her explanation and Bones set the PADD beside him, watching the ceiling as if Jo were beside him. Tears reflected the light in his eyes, making them look like a galaxy you wanted to get lost in.

Suddenly, his eyes shifted to you, the brightest star in the room. He slipped his hand in yours and mouthed the words “Thank you.” You simply smiled in response, shifting closer to him. The fire crackled beside you and the smell of roasted pecans filled the room as Jo continued her explanation, and, while he didn’t consider himself a very religious person, Bones finally caught a glimpse of his personal heaven.

Tags: 

@8bit-arc-reactor @jimtkirkisabitch @sjlovestory @kristaparadowski @outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie @brooke-taylor0323 @slither-in-a-half @cuddlememerrick @reading-in-moonlight​ @resistance-is-futile81

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[lighthouseroleplay]

WILLIAM ‘WILL’ HARRIS BURKE

                          ( 22 ,  cis male, he/him )

♪♫ currently listening  ⧸⧸  drunk drivers / killer whales by carseat headrest

the graffiti-covered seat at the back of the class, sunglasses in every shade of the rainbow, band-aid covered knees. juggling baseballs with a careless ease, strawberries eaten by the handful, a laugh that ends in a snort. the teacher’s rolling eyes, joints tucked in a back pocket. phone calls that go late into the night, fresh flowers on a gravestone. always a scent of pine, a scrawled letter, stacks of books threatening to collapse at any moment.

    •  hadfield was the first neighbour you had in tenebrin who wasn’t a thousand year old angry man, and you appreciated that. you were determined to befriend them, and the fact that you were in the same grade made it even better. they were so new, so different from so many people who lived in tenebrin, people you’d grown up with, known since kindergarden. the familiarity was nice, sure, but this interesting new person got on very well with you, even if it was weird that your moms dated for a little bit. screw weirdness, you had a new friend, and you had a great time every day on the walk to/from school.

    •  lind-carter was someone you met for the first time in junior year, this tiny, insistent freshman, intent on going on the honors biology trip as if it would change her life. it made you laugh, originally, but on the trip, you became friends. you didn’t really know anyone in your bio class, and something about her intensity made you curious. it was a good choice, speaking retrospectively, because her whatever — you called it ‘bossiness’, she made rude gestures back at you — balanced out your indecision, your tendency towards laziness perfectly. she pushed you towards actually going to university, when your own mother couldn’t do that, and leaving her behind hurt you more than most things did.

taken by alexandra  ⧸⧸  joe keery .

i thought the earth remembered me, she took me back so tenderly, arranging her dark skirts, her pockets full of lichens and seeds.

William Burke was born on a rainy May morning, first baby-howls echoing through the hospital room, loud enough to rival the fat water droplets spattering against the window, and the dawn’s first light hidden between dark clouds. His father cried, as did his sister, though his mother was far too exhausted to join in, and all in all, it was a rather damp day.

He was a baby who had always been wanted, like his sister before him, with parents who had always wanted a pair to call their own. Jonathan Burke grew up in Tenebrin Port, but had little interest in staying there: which, as it turned out, was a rather good thing, as it was while working as a library assistant at UC Berkeley that he met Mary Slater, English literature PhD candidate with a love of King Arthur lore. They fell in love rapidly and deeply, buying an apartment together in San Francisco and planning a life together in that fog-filled, colourful city. Their first child was born there, named for the Guinevere of the stories her mother buried herself in while pregnant. She was delivered just after her mother finished her thesis, and they were, in the end, celebrated with equal enthusiasm and joy. They married soon after, and while many members of the Slater family were present, only a few of the Burkes did.

Mary was offered a position at Whitman College, assistant professor of English Literature, and she moved there, as did Jon and their child, where he embraced fatherhood with enthusiasm. He had no doubts in his mind at the concept of staying home and taking care of Gwen while Mary worked, and when she could support the family thus — why not?

Four years later, she became pregnant again, this time with a boy, and William Burke came angrily screaming into the world, completing their family of four perfectly.

    i slept as never before, a stone on the river bed, nothing between me and the white fire of the stars but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees.

The family moved to Tenebrin when Will was only three, drawn more by responsibility than anything else, an illness in Jon’s family leaving his mother frail, and in need of her son nearby. Mary began research on a new book, surrounding the role of Uther in Arthur mythology. Will and Gwen were raised by their parents, yes, but also by their grandmother, a severe woman, strict about everything but more than a little willing to tell her grandchildren stories about Tenebrin — after all, she could do little else, stuck in bed as she was. More than one night, the pair would sleep with dream wreathed in swirling water, crashing waves upon a shoreline echoing in their mind. She wove a good story, and it was oh so easy for the children to find their way into the web, to the chagrin of parents who would so much rather their children didn’t have the screaming nightmares these stories inspired.

Though Will’s grandmother eventually died, four years later, her stories had an impact on him: while Gwen was made of stronger stuff, he grew terrified of water deeper than a bathtub, resisting the swimming lessons at the community centre to the point where even bribes of toys and post-swimming ice cream trips had little effect. He just wouldn’t do it, and so while his sister spent summers advancing up the rungs of the Red Cross Swimming levels, he was to spend his days at the outdoor camps, hiking and camping in the forest that surrounded the town, learning bear tracks and how to start fires and how to keep them from spreading. That he took to, spectacularly so, finding a love of the woods to match his fear of water. 

He threw himself into this love wholeheartedly, looking forward to summers spent in the Olympic National Forest, always begging his parents to let him climb trees. Will was up one such tree in the backyard of his house, all of nine without even the slightest fear of heights, on one of fall’s rare rainless days, when a police car pulled in, with two officers exiting the car to knock on the front door. Will was scared then, for a brief moment, freezing with the knowledge that this wasn’t normal, that maybe he was in trouble somehow, that something was wrong. He didn’t hear the discussion that took place inside the house, but when his mother emerged with the two officers, the group walking towards him, he knew he was right to worry. Her face streamed with tears, and Will scrambled down the tree, erring in a way he rarely did, and falling to the ground.

In the end: that was that. He broke his arm, and his father was dead, in terrible fluke of a car accident, on such a perfect day, no less. There was no one to blame but the cruelty of fate, and suddenly Will’s mother, an outsider to the strange, small town, was alone without her strongest link to it.

all night I heard the small kingdoms breathing around me, the insects, and the birds who do their work in the darkness.

Will Burke was not one for grief. It passed like it came, and though he’d make his way to the Tenebrin graveyard twice a month, a plaid-clad pilgrim carefully balancing flowers in the basket of his bike, and although he would always hold the memories of his father close to his heart, the pain left him. The first year, his grin was a little too wide, his laugh a little too loud, and if he disrupted the class with comedic antics one too many times, well, who could blame him. No child should lose a parent that young.

But it did pass, with time, and Will found himself settling comfortably into the role of class clown that he’d first taken on to hide his grief. It was so easy to make people laugh, and the grins on his classmates’ faces made all the punishments worth it -- especially when he managed to avoid those too! Let it never be said that he wasn’t smart: he just didn’t apply himself, said year after year at parent-teacher conferences. When he did try, though, he succeeded, and like his mother, Will found he excelled at English, though struggling more than a little with the more complex problems in Math. Biology didn’t come easily either, but he knew that to work in the forests he loved in a meaningful way, he’d have to work hard, and he did, pushing himself to seek out teachers after class, doing extra research online… It was perhaps the thing he worked hardest on, even if he didn’t know what path his life would take.

That was the problem, though: it all felt so theoretical, the idea of graduating, university, of getting a job. Being young was so easy, so peaceful, and Will didn’t want to trade away the crystalline memories of juggling strawberries in the cafeteria to generous applause, or late nights spent watching movies with his friends, for hard work and stress that seemed to come so naturally. Perhaps his mother had read him a little too much Peter Pan as a child, perhaps he’d simply observed her too well, but the result was the same. The effort was there, to do well, to succeed in school, but beyond that: it was easy to slip under the radar, especially with Gwen at a nearby university, and his mother increasingly busy, and easy to avoid planning and applications in favour of things that brought him more joy. Lind-Carter talked him out of that, in the end, forcing him to make plans for a future that was rapidly growing nearer, and while he frowned profusely at her at the time, somewhere in the back of his mind he was grateful.

all night i rose and fell, as if in water, grappling with a luminous doom.

He was one month graduated, the coastal chill of spring starting to burn off into summer’s warmth, Independence Day festivities past, looking ahead to university, to something different than the mundane existence he’d always known to be true in Tenebrin.

Will was just waking up when he got a text from Lind-Carter, brain fuzzy from sleep that had gone on a little too longer than it should, but hey, it was the summer! It was that first text that would always stand in his mind more than anything else, that concern, so immediate, pulling him sharply into the world. He’d biked over quickly, and it was all a whirlwind of memories after that, so fragmented and confused that he was never sure which was the memory and which was the dream. The water, Andy’s face as she leapt into it, the determination, and a haunting song that seemed pulled from his grandmother’s stories.

He made his appearance at the funeral, dressed in black alongside Gwen and his mother, shoulders down, eyes bleak, distant. He barely acknowledged the coffin as it was lowered into the grave, placing the flowers he’d brought next to the stone with vacant eyes. The next day, he fled to the woods.

by morning i had vanished at least a dozen times into something better.

He went north, in the end, fleeing Tenebrin and the loss that crushed him like so many falling rocks. It hurt too much to bear, and Will was grateful in a way he hadn’t ever been before that he’d decided to go to school so far away. It went smoothly, though he was reticent to make friends in a way he never had been before: it seemed easier to go without. He still laughed, partied, had fun, but it was all a little hollow inside. Some days he felt as though Andy’s death had affected him more than his own father’s: a fleeting, guilty idea, but one that was more than a little true. Maybe it was because he’d witnessed it, maybe it was because she was his age, but it had all felt so wrong in a way that stuck with him. Coming back to Tenebrin after graduating university felt like a homecoming, but it also felt like a resolution. He would use the summer to repair this odd, broken feeling inside of him, so he could leave again whole, and begin his new job in the fall with a clean heart. The trees had always felt like home to him, but perhaps the water would cleanse what they didn’t seem to be able to purify.

[diningpageantry]

tag game(s)

anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)

i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day

six questions challenge

tagged by @simon--speaks

rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Q1: Relationship status?

single bby

Q2: Favorite color?

maroon !

Q3: Top 3 ships?

snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)

Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?

whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.

Q5: Last song I listened to?

Run by Hozier

Q6: Last movie I watched?

uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.

21 questions

i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva

height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that

last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)

last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday

favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)

song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)

other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.

followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)

following: 231

amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)

lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)

dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media

what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.

favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup

language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.

can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto

favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells

random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.

describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 

carry on questions

tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 

1- favorite type of scone? 

cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)

2- london or la?

i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program

3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?

i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)

4- jeans or suit?

suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.

5- loose hair or pulled back hair?

mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face

6- vampires or dragons?

i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.

7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?

(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.

8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?

depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him

9- favorite carry on quote?

“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.

10- how excited are you for wayward son?

lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)

[iris-writes-things]

Crazy, Millennial Love Story chapter 13

Read on AO3, FF.net or under the cut!

Like a kettle on a raging fire, Keith starts squealing when things get too hot under his feet. The pressure is off, misunderstandings are addressed, and Keith can finally breathe easily again. 

For now, at least.

Chapter 13 of ? Ongoing 3246 words Modern/romance

Keith was comfortable. He was comfortable, safe, warm and… moving? He groaned as he cracked an eye open. “Where am I?” He mumbled as he took in his surroundings. He was in a car. The one that belonged to Hunk’s mother, to be precise, with the chef behind the wheel. He was lying, spread over the back seat, leaning against Shiro’s chest, the man’s arm firmly around his waist as he couldn’t wear a seat belt in this position, and covered in all three of their coats. That sure explained the warmth. Every pothole, every bump of hastily fixed asphalt that was characteristic for any road in the metropolis’ downtown area only worsened his headache, though. He must have had one Hell of a fall. “Where are we going?”

“What? Dude, we’re taking you to the hospital!” Hunk called from behind the wheel. “You fainted, remember? You were well fed, you had enough to drink, but not too much either. You had literally no reason to pass out, so we’re getting you checked out.”

“W-What?! No!” Keith protested as he kicked the coats off his legs, sitting upright. “I’m fine, I swear!” He only stopped struggling when he felt Shiro’s prosthetic tighten around his waist.

“Keith… You’ve been acting weird all month. I’m worried about you, you know. What if it’s something serious?”

“I know…” Keith mumbled, settling back into the man’s chest. “But I’m really okay, physically speaking. You don't have to take me to a doctor." He pleaded, and not much later, he felt the car come to a halt as Hunk pulled into a parking space by the road.

"But, if it's not physical, then what is it?" Hunk asked, turning in his chair to look in the back seat. Keith noticed traces on cheeks from old tears. He’d have to somehow make this up to him, but it would have to wait. He had to talk himself out of this situation first.

"Just stress, I guess." Keith said. It wasn't a lie, just a gross oversimplification, and Hunk seemed to be buying it. "The last two months have just… It's been a lot to adjust to."

"Right, I get it. But try not to overwork yourself, okay? I know it can be tempting, but you need to be careful with what jobs you do and don’t take."

If it was up to Keith, Hunk would never find out how hard he just hit the nail on its head, though. "I'll be careful." He mumbled solemnly.

"Good. Now if you guys don’t mind, I’ll drive you home." Hunk said optimistically as he started the car again, driving the two of them back to their apartment.

Even though Keith was now conscious and sitting up in his own seat, Shiro maintained his death grip on Keith’s waist. Hunk might have bought Keith’s excuse, but the older man wasn't having it. Deep down, Keith was painfully aware of this. He shouldn’t have been caught off guard by what came next.

"Is this somehow about my relationship with Allura?" Shiro asked, performatively staring out the window, resting his chin on his hand, to further drive home the casual, disinterested tone he had delivered the question in. Keith tensed under Shiro's arm, he knew Keith hated it whenever he feigned indifference, possibly even more than when it was real. "I knew it!" He shouted. “This is about me dating Allura!”

"How did you know?!" Keith asked, looking at him in bewilderment.

"Keith, buddy, it really doesn't take a detective to figure that out. All month, you've been moping in your bed, which really wouldn't be weird for you, but not once did I come home to the apartment smelling like weed. You've been losing your appetite halfway through or skipping meals altogether,"

"Skipping meals?!"

"at so much as a mention of Allura, and you've been making me promise to be safe and call you if anything went wrong, but only when I went out with Allura. Keith, you're even skinnier than when you moved in with me three years ago. Did you really think I wouldn't notice something was up?"

"Shiro, I..." Keith stammered, his vision blurring as tears welled up in his eyes. "I-I don't… I just wanted to..."

"Protect me?"

Keith nodded. Shiro sighed.

"You know, I've actually talked about this with Allura. See, before we met I used to date this guy who thought he had to protect me from the world, and seeing as you don’t know about his existence and apparently came to the conclusion that I'm heterosexual, it's safe to say that that relationship didn't work out."

Keith could only look up at the man. Eyes like saucers, his jaw slack, and his mind was having more than a little trouble keeping up.

"But we can talk about that later if you want. What's important now is that, yes, I'm technically physically disabled, and yes, my mental stability isn't what it used to be, but I'm not naive. Being a cop in the big city does that to you. I trust Allura and Coran, which only leads me to the question 'Why don't you?'"

Keith shook his head, looking down at his feet to hide the tears in his eyes only to make them fall to his lap immediately. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me.” Shiro said sternly. “If something happened to you, I want to know it. Trust is a two way street, remember? You can talk to me."

Keith sobbed and rubbed the tears from his eyes. That’s right. Shiro trusted him. And while it was difficult, Keith knew he had to trust Shiro as well. "Remember when I took that job from that anonymous number?"

"And I told you you were pretty stupid for not asking the guy's name? Oh, I remember."

"Thanks for rubbing that in. Anyway he introduced himself to me when he arrived at our meeting point. He said his name was Lotor."

"Oh boy. That couldn’t have ended well..." Hunk squeaked from behind the wheel, sinking in his seat ever so slightly, but it was enough to catch Shiro's attention.

"You know this Lotor guy, Hunk?" Shiro asked.

The man behind the wheel nodded. "Yeah, I know him, alright. We all do. We just don’t particularly like bringing him up. He’s something of a collective trauma I really wish you guys wouldn’t have to deal with.”

“How come?” Shiro asked curiously.

“Have you guys ever seen Scott Pilgrim?” Hunk checked. “Like, Allura doesn't need seven evil exes. She just has one evil ex with the combined spite and saltiness of at least ten evil exes." He said as he squeezed the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. "He tries to scare off anyone who would be her friend or potential romantic partner. And what’s worse is that he’s successful pretty often. We've all had to deal with him. It got ugly most times, but now we just block him and as many of his teenage cronies we can on all of our platforms. It's easy enough, I'll show you guys how to do it some time."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Hunk, but he drew Keith out in the real world. I don't think it's as easy to keep a handle on a bitter ex and his posse of fangirls when they can physically come at you." Shiro argued.

"You're right." Hunk sighed in agreement. "And, I mean, not only is the physical threat concerning, but there's also the fact that this is the most unpredictable he's been since I've been friends with Allura. He’s never tried to approach us outside of the internet."

"What baffles me most is that he went for Keith, not for me, since I would be his direct competitor."

"It's because he knows we're close." Keith spoke up, driving the heels of his palms into his eyes in frustration. "He told me Allura did the shittiest things to him while they were dating, and then he made me promise to keep you safe."

"Two birds, one stone." Shiro concluded.

Keith's shoulders shook as a sob wracked through his body. "I'm sorry." He croaked. "I shouldn't have trusted some eccentric rando over you and Allura! I was just so scared..."

Shiro hushed him as he pulled Keith into a tight hug, firmly rubbing between his shoulders. "It's okay. For what it’s worth, if I had been in your shoes, I probably would have done the same. No offense, Hunk."

"None taken.” Hunk piped up from behind the steering wheel. “Ah, we're here."

"Trust me, it's worth a lot." Keith chuckled through his tears, muffled by Shiro's sweater. “And again, I’m sorry.”

"You should save your apologies for Allura, Keith. And Hunk, I can't let you drive home with a clear conscience. You can stay the night at our place." Shiro offered as he gathered up their coats.

"Thanks, that sounds great. I’ll call my mom to let her know."

"Hunk, babe, are you awake?" Keith asked as he stared at his darkened ceiling. It had to be at least 4 in the morning, but he didn't care enough to turn his head to take a look at his alarm clock. Hunk was warm and comfortable at his side, cuddled against him in Keith's cramped single bed.

"Yeah, I'm awake." Hunk mumbled, a hand coming up to brush the hair out of Keith's face. "Why?"

"I was just wondering..." Keith whispered, hesitating for a second. "If I had asked you about what Lotor told me about Allura, would you have believed me?"

A deep sigh escaped Hunk, tickling Keith’s neck, as he thought on his answer. "I don't think I would. I've known her for a few years, and Lotor and his fans have tried to drag me away from her too, and she supported me through all of it, so I'd have a hard time believing she could have been a bad, manipulative person."

"Then what would you do if you hadn't? What if you didn’t know the first thing about her, except what she posts online?" Keith asked as he rolled to his side, facing the other man.

"I… would listen to what you have to say. Then, I would talk to Allura, try to find some of the guys she dated other than Lotor, talk to them, and then take what I found back to you, and hope we could all come to a mutual understanding. Like… I don't like passing judgment based on rumors."

"I try not to, usually. I just don't know what came over me this time."

"Hey, it's okay. Shiro is your best friend. You were just worried. But… next time you're struggling with a dilemma like this, come talk to me, okay? I'll help you out."

"'Kay." Keith yawned. "Thanks Hunk. Good night."

"Good night, Keith."

“Allura?” Shiro tried, speaking into the receiver of his cell phone.

“Shiro, ohmigod! You took forever! Is Keith okay? What did the doctors say?” Allura’s voice came from the other side of the line. She sounded concerned. Scared. Panicked, even.

“We… never arrived at the hospital?” He hesitated.

“WHAT?!”

“No, wait, shit, I mean he woke up before we got there, and he told us what was wrong with him.”

“Right, and he can just tell what’s going on?” Allura asked. She didn’t sound too impressed.

“Well, yeah. He got really stressed. Like, a panic attack… And he passed out. Simple as that. Because we’re dating.”

“Because we’re dating?” She asked, disbelief dominant in her voice.

“Yeah. Apparently your ex didn’t come after me, like we expected. He just booked a shoot with Keith about a month ago, and he just put the most horrible ideas about you into his head, and he’s just been mulling on it for weeks. It’s been eating him from the inside.”

“I can’t believe I used to date that guy.” Allura sighed in exasperation. “To think that he would stoop so low.”

“It’s okay Allura, there’s no way you could have known it would go like this. It’s not fair to beat yourself up over this, so please don’t. I promise I’ll be better than him.”

A chuckle came from the other side of the line. “That’s not a high bar to raise, honey.”

‘Honey’. The idea that Allura would refer to him as such still reddened his cheeks, quickened his heartbeat and made the hairs on his neck stand on end.

“Shiro, listen… If you don’t want to go public with this, with what happened to Keith and all, and the chance of Lotor losing his shit, I understand.”

“No, I still want to. I don’t care about Lotor or what he might do. I love you, and I want the world to know. If you’ll let me, that is.”

“Trust me, I’ll let you. But what about Keith?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll talk to him in the morning. We might come over later tomorrow if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind. I actually want to see him in person after what he pulled earlier.”

“I completely understand.” Shiro chuckled. “So… uh… good night, I guess?”

“Right. Good night, love.”

“Good night, sweetheart.” It was still so alien to him; being in an intimate, romantic relationships, being called ‘honey’, ‘love’ and ‘sweetheart’, and calling his partner ‘honey’, ‘love’ and ‘sweetheart’ in return. It felt alien, but it felt good.

It felt right.

It was 11 in the morning by the time Shiro and Keith were on the bus to Allura’s apartment again. Hunk had gone home about an hour earlier, but not before making breakfast and ensuring the three of them were well fed and ready to tackle the day. Especially Keith. It was sweet how concerned he was for his well being, Keith thought. He wasn’t used to all this love and affection being directed at him. Even Shiro wasn’t as hands-on as Hunk was. He would have to make it up to his boyfriend, someday. Maybe with some grand gesture, like in the movies. But that would have to wait for now. There was something else on his mind altogether.

“About last night…” Keith started, glancing at the man sitting across from him. “You said you used to have a boyfriend, right? That wasn’t just my pounding skull talking to me?”

“Nope, that was all me.” Shiro said, smiling sheepishly. “But yeah, I had a boyfriend in high school.”

“And not just because you were ‘bi-curious’?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a full-blown bisexual.” Shiro said as his smile became more confident.

“So, then, why didn’t you tell me?” Keith asked.

Shiro only shrugged. “It never came up.”

“Dude, I came out to you!” Keith hissed, only not to shout on a bus full of people. “I’d call that ‘bringing it up’!”

“Hey, that was your moment. I didn’t want to make it about myself.”

Keith groaned in frustration. “While that’s really sweet and all, it really didn’t occur to you that telling me about this thing we have in common, being attracted to men, might make me feel better about myself? I mean, in all the time we’ve spent together, I’ve never once seen you look at a guy the way you look at Allura. There’s no way I could have just guessed.”

Shiro stared at Keith, a shocked, nervous smile on his face. “Yeah, you make a valid point there. And, I mean, I hope this thing with Allura is going to be long term, it would have taken even longer for you to find out… I’m sorry, Keith.”

“It’s okay.” Keith said, smiling sadly as he patted Shiro’s knee. “But seriously though, I’m happy for you and Allura. I’ve only ever seen you guys be good for each other.”

“Thanks, Keith. You have no idea what that means to me. Now, if I’m not mistaken, this is our stop.”

“Keith!” Allura yelled when she opened the door, flinging her arms around the shorter man’s shoulders, almost immediately pulling back to get a better look at him. He still wasn’t looking his best, but definitely better than last night. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She whispered as she pulled him into a more gentle hug this time. “You really scared us there, you know?”

“Yeah.” Keith mumbled. “I, uh, I have a rough idea. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pass out.”

“I don’t think anyone means to pass out.” Shiro joked, trying to make light of the situation, but quickly swallowed his words when the two glanced up at him, a near identical unimpressed pout on both their faces. “I’ll be quiet.”

“I hope you don’t mind, Keith, but Shiro called me last night to tell me about your situation… Nearly gave him a heart attack when he told me you guys never made it to the hospital.” She spoke as she gently punched Shiro in the arm. “He told me Lotor talked to you.”

“Boy did he…” Keith mumbled under his breath, glancing away from her, still feeling like he had somehow betrayed her. “I�� I know I shouldn’t have trusted him. I knew you’d never do anything bad to Shiro, but there always was this tiny seed of doubt that something might go wrong, and it wrecked me.”

“Keith, no. Don’t blame yourself. None of this is your fault, and you know it. I just wanted to warn you, because it might happen again. Especially when Shiro and I make our relationship public.”

“I’ll be ready for him this time.” Keith said, his eyes full with newfound determination. “I’ll know he’s a lying sack of shit and shouldn’t be trusted.”

Allura giggled, for the first time that day. “I appreciate the sentiment, Keith. Approaching people outside of the internet usually isn’t his way of doing things, though. He’ll be unpredictable to any of us from here on out.”

Keith only shrugged. “I tend not to think too far ahead myself. Unpredictability is just the way I roll.”

“If you say so, Keith.” Allura said, smiling ever so endearingly. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“After what I did, I’ll do just about anything to make it up to you.” Keith said, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves.

“Then would you take the picture for our announcement?” She asked again, offering Keith her camera. It was nearly identical to his own, with the exception of her more expensive and high-end lense and flash diffuser.

Keith smiled and gratefully took the camera in both hands. “Where do you want this taken?”

Allura took Shiro’s hand and lead him to the ceiling-high windows, overlooking the city skyline. “Here is fine.”

Keith nodded and got ready, bringing the viewfinder to his eye. “Come on, Shiro, smile. Do something, no need to be nervous.” He encouraged.

“Uh, well, okay.” Shiro mumbled when Keith went back to find the two of them through the lense again.

The next thing he heard was a loud whoop and giggle from Allura as Shiro swept her off her feet, cradling her in his arms like the princess she was. Keith chuckled as he clicked the shutter what had to have been at least ten times. He smiled genuinely, unlike last night, when he still worried for Shiro’s general well being. No, this time it felt right. They were friends. Close ones, after only a few months.

And Keith would never let anyone try to tear them apart ever again.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Kieran Culkin's Shirt Is Off

https://fashion-trendin.com/kieran-culkins-shirt-is-off/

Kieran Culkin's Shirt Is Off

When Kieran Culkin first started reading the script for “Succession,” he wondered whether it had been sent to the wrong person. The HBO powers that be originally thought he’d be a good fit for the character of Greg, a bumbling nitwit who gets high in his first scene and spends the rest of the first season failing to sidle his way up the ladder of a massive media and entertainment conglomerate owned by his great-uncle, Logan Roy.

Almost from Greg’s first line, Culkin knew he was wrong for the part. “He’s already a lot younger than I am, and just the voice ― I was, like, this is not me. I am not right for this.”

When I met Culkin at a small restaurant in the Noho neighborhood of Manhattan last Monday, it was just as clear to me as it was to him that he’s too old to play a character like Greg. But something in the Roy family’s dark saga held Culkin’s attention anyway. He said he kept reading the script, which follows the foibles of the billionaire Roy clan as its individual members vie for power within. A few pages later, Logan’s overconfident third son, Roman, appears, led into a meeting by a man hired explicitly to burn sage.

“Hey, hey, motherfuckers!” Roman proclaims to a room full of his father’s business associates.

“And I was, like, ‘Oh, who’s this fucking guy?’” Culkin said.

Culkin eventually got the part of Roman, an incompetent and lazy man-child who believes he wholly deserves the title of chief operating officer, even though he has little interest in doing any of the work that comes with it. Among the many nefarious faces that make up Logan’s Waystar Royco empire, Roman stands out as perhaps its most cynical ― a ratings-obsessed media executive motivated solely by profit. At one point, in his interpretation of corporate disruption, he takes off his shirt in a meeting, flexing and joyfully screaming “Blood!” at the thought of layoffs. During another, he gleefully tells his sister about a new viral video that is “evidence of precisely the kind of disgusting, liberal, metro butt-love that makes our viewership angry enough to buy pharmaceuticals.” To Roman, nothing could be better.

Culkin can’t say exactly what drew him to the morally depraved heir, described by his father as a “moron” and his brother as a “walking fucking lawsuit.” But it’s not hard to imagine some small part of Culkin was intrigued by the idea of playing such a sneering member of a media empire.

After all, Culkin’s distaste for the tabloid industry is beyond well-established. (“No matter what’s written there, it’s a total lie, even the person’s name, lie, lie, lie, lie, everything’s a lie,” he once told New York Magazine.)

But let’s not lump Culkin into that hyperpartisan Level 10 “FAKE NEWS” category of 2018 American paranoia. Mostly because when he told me “Now it’s a thing, ‘fake news,’” and I said, jokingly, “Fake news. You’re a believer,” he got nervous and pushed out a quick “no,” immediately realizing the millions of different ways such a quote could be aggregated, recirculated, quoted out of context and otherwise misinterpreted. You can almost see it now, can’t you? “Kieran Culkin Joins the Chorus: Media Is ‘Fake News.’”

Culkin’s distrust is of a more justifiable form, born out of a lifetime of his surname showing up in headline-grabbing tabloid fodder. From the moment his parents, Kit “The father from hell” Culkin and Patricia Brentrup, entered into an ugly, obsessively covered custody battle to when the National Enquirer proclaimed his eternally famous brother, Macaulay, had “6 Months to Live” in 2012 (he’s still alive), Culkin’s last name has served as a way to move and make paper ― the most intimate moments of his life repackaged as factually questionable entertainment content to sell ads against. 

Ron Galella via Getty Images

Macaulay and Kieran Culkin at the fifth annual American Comedy Awards back in 1991, just months after the release of the blockbuster hit “Home Alone.”

“There are things that are out there in the world as fact because it was written in print that are just completely false. My brother did not divorce his parents. They did not fight over his money,” he said. “But that’s out in the world as fact.

“I learned at a very young age to be, like, ‘Oh, I get it: It’s bullshit,’ shit that’s written in print.”

In person, Culkin ticks most of the boxes of adulthood: In his 30s. Takes his coffee black. Enjoys talking about his favorite East Village dives. Married five years. Nice watch. Clothes that fit. Hair slicked around his head just so. Like Roman, Culkin drops a “fuck” or “shit” every ninth word or so, as when he said to me, “Hold on, I’m going to eat the fuck out of these pickles. You say something for a minute, ’cause I’ve got a mouth full of shit.”

But no matter how many fucks he lets out ― and by my count, he let out around 25 over 40 minutes ― Culkin remains stuck with a membership to the official Former Child Actors club. Macaulay, or Mac, if you’re in the know, was always the main draw ― history’s most famous kid actor without a drink named after him. But Kieran was there too, in “Home Alone” and “Home Alone 2.” He found himself on the stage of “Saturday Night Live” before the age of 10, and schmoozed with Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” before his voice dropped.  

Which is probably why ― and here I’m guessing ― Culkin might have been a bit annoyed when HBO suggested he audition for Greg.

But after 10 episodes of watching Culkin-as-Roman take part in his family’s imperious game of human chess, it’s hard to imagine the actor playing anyone else. If Jeremy Strong ― who plays Kendall, Logan’s cocaine-addicted second son ― is the show’s tragic star, Culkin is its nervous energy. There’s something in the way he pushes out a phrase like “What a pathetic beta cuck,” or belittles doctors and waiters alike.

What sealed Culkin’s interest in his character came in the first episode during a family softball game, when Roman points to a kid on the sidelines, the son of the site’s groundskeeper. Everyone grows quiet as Roman whips out his checkbook and starts writing a check for $1 million. Hit a home run in their game, Roman tells the boy, and the money is his. For the child and his family, it’s a potentially life-changing moment. For Roman, the child is nothing but a momentary subhuman toy to mess with and cast aside. After the child is tagged out at home, Roman can’t control his laughter. “I’m sorry, I can’t give it to you,” he says as he tears up the check. It is a degrading, truly awful moment of television.

“Oh, I get it,” Culkin remembered thinking, “he’s a fuck face.”

When Culkin filmed the scene, he embodied evil, letting out a cackle so cruel it sets the show’s moral compass for the remaining season. Culkin himself is not sure where his ability to play somebody like that came from.

“Being able to connect to some degree, not in a positive way, with these characters is odd to me because I don’t know the multimillionaires, I don’t know the super-rich, yet I know assholes like that,” he said. “I can’t even quite specifically pick out who I know that is exactly like that, but it’s weird that you can still, for me, relate.”

“Succession” suffered from a slow start, only truly hitting its stride around Episode 6, when Kendall leads the board in a tense vote of no confidence against Logan, who’s recently suffered a stroke, unleashing a sequence of events within the Roy family that are both comical and horrifying.

Culkin owns up to that. “The first three episodes to me, it’s not like they’re unwatchable,” he said, “but it’s not quite the show yet.”

Which, according to him, is fine. Some shows don’t grab you on first watch, and one in particular in his opinion: “I probably shouldn’t even say this on record. The example I have is actually [the British comedy] ‘Peep Show,’” which was coincidentally also developed by “Succession” creator Jesse Armstrong.

But the first season of “Succession” gained enough momentum before concluding Sunday evening for HBO to pick it up for another season ― making this the first time Culkin has ever been part of a television show that made it to Season 2, according to his IMDB page, a small victory in his more than two decades on-screen.

Culkin’s most acclaimed role came in 2002, when he earned a Golden Globe nomination for his role in “Igby Goes Down.” But that time the victory led to a full-blown existential crisis.

United Artists via Getty Images

Claire Danes and Kieran Culkin talk at a coffee shop for a scene from “Igby Goes Down.” Culkin entered an existential crisis after the film and took a breaking from acting. 

“[I] found myself at the age of 20 with a career I never chose, [and I] freaked out,” Culkin said. “I think everybody around that age has some sort of crisis. Usually, it’s like a straight-up ‘Oh, I don’t know what I want to do.’ Mine is, ‘I don’t know what I want to do with my life, yet here I am doing it.’”

Culkin took a break before eventually returning to acting, mostly because he wasn’t sure what else to do. “I was just sort of doing it in the meantime,” he says now. He took parts in movies like “Lymelife” and “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.” Did two episodes of “Fargo.” Performed multiple versions of a stage play he loved, Kenneth Lonergan’s “This Is Our Youth.” In 2014, he was still apprehensive. “I often think about getting out of this job, but I’m terrified that there’s nothing else,” he told The Daily Beast.

Since then, Culkin said, something clicked. He remembered coming home from work one day and thinking, “Oh, I think I’m actually enjoying this.”

“I think I know what I want to do now,” he said to himself. “I think I should do this.”

Now deep into his 30s, Culkin has established himself as a stronger and more serious actor than the “essentially retired” Macaulay ever did. And in Roman, Culkin has stumbled upon something as special as it is sinister. TV Guide described Roman as “the very definition of the hate-f―k,” but he’s probably more accurately categorized as sexual overcompensation personified. He tells his brother that his “face is drowning in pussy,” despite the fact that his various partners claim he rarely wants to have sex. He masturbates to his office view of New York City while a string of emails piles up behind him. (“It’s to gain some sort of control,” Culkin surmised.)

More interesting than his sex life, though, is Roman’s complex relationship with his manipulative and emotionally abusive father. While most people want to prove their competence to the people around them, “Roman, for the most part, doesn’t give a fuck about that,” Culkin said, adding, “If his girlfriend says, ‘No, but you did a great job,’ it’s like: ‘Fuck you. Don’t patronize me.’” What he wants, Culkin said, is his dad’s approval: “That’s the only person that can get him, the only person that can look at him and make him nervous.”

Logan does exactly that when Roman prepares to stand against the tycoon in the vote of no confidence. With his father staring down at him, Roman can only muster a meek “maybe” before he slouches into his chair like an admonished child and votes with his father. Thanks to Roman, Logan lives to fight another day atop his dynasty, while Kendall is forced, temporarily, to surrender.

Earlier, in Episode 2, Roman finds himself watching as the world repackages his family’s tragedy into viral content. He and his family are huddled together in a New York hospital, awaiting information about their famous father’s deteriorating health post-stroke, like characters in a Gothic novel, when Roman starts scrolling through Twitter. His sister, Shiv, asks what people are saying.

“Eh, rumors, you know,” Roman replies matter-of-factly. “Some of Twitter says he’s dead ― and also a good deal of rejoicing at our father’s potential demise.” He notices a short video of the “South Park” kids yelling, “Oh my God, we’ve killed Logan! We’re bastards!” and asks an employee to “find out who these fuckers are and report them or screen grab their shit.”

When Culkin’s own father was hospitalized after suffering a stroke in 2014, TMZ, The Daily Mail, Perez Hilton all repackaged the tragedy as well. The National Enquirer pounced, too, running a headline that read, “Macaulay Culkin Rejects Dying Dad: ‘Rot in Hell!’” But unlike Roman, Culkin wouldn’t have been sifting through Twitter. “That would never be something that I would do willingly,” he says of social media more generally. “Because already at a young age, there was a public perception of me.” 

Francis Apesteguy via Getty Images

Kit Culkin, Macaulay Culkin, Kieran Culkin and Patricia Bretnup pose for a photo one month after the release of “Home Alone.” The father is now estranged from his children. 

Like Roman, however, Culkin and his siblings have a less than ideal relationship with his father. By all accounts, they have been mostly if not entirely estranged from Kit ever since their mother won custody of the children in the 1990s. Patricia, the mother, claimed during the custody battle that Kit had been abusive, and Culkin’s brother Macaulay has continued to do so throughout his life.

“He was a bad man,” Macaulay Culkin told comedian Marc Maron earlier this year.

When I asked Kieran Culkin if he has spoken with his father recently, he answered with two no’s so quickly that I couldn’t bring myself to ask a follow-up question, only saying, for reasons still unbeknownst to me, “Fuck ’em.”

“Fuck ’em,” Culkin agreed. “I’ll go on record: Yeah, fuck ’em.”

After a lifetime of his last name being splattered across the front pages of tabloids, Culkin seemed ready to move on from the controversies that have dogged him since he was a child actor with moppy hair and oversized clothes. That’s not him anymore.

What we’re looking at instead is Kieran Culkin, age 35 ― no longer a Greg and fully embracing life as Roman.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

"Whew! Holy cats, I thought I'd never get through that Rubik's Cube…"

My hand came up to push into my face. Not that it really mattered; I could barely feel it. "At least I could kinda help with that one. The other two gates were… yeah, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kniv-"

"Enough," Knives panted as she wiped the sweat from her brow on her striped scarf. It was pretty weird that she was wearing it in the middle of summer, but I had a feeling it was kind of part of her 'battle outfit' or something. "Didn't I… tell you that I'm… doing this for both of us? Not just you?"

"But watching you stare into the mirror… man, I thought you were gonna turn into that other reflection of you with all the purple buffalo in the background…"

The sweet smile made my pulse race. Somewhere. Not in the body I was in within my body, but the body outside of my… body… this is really annoying to explain, as I have just realised while trying to do so. Point is, seeing her smile makes me smile, too. "Anything for you, Kim Pine. Serious and mysterious."

"Alright, alright. Just try not to get killed or then I'll be really hacked off."

The thing I still couldn't figure out was how I guessed all of this so accurately. Probably something subliminal about it; there's no way it was a coincidence. But everything, the three gates, the rhino and warthog, the high-walled chambers we had to fight our way through, came to pass exactly as I snarked in a would-be joking tone. If I made it a reality by saying it… man did I fuck myself royally.

At this point, Knives and I were at the top of a ledge that ran the entire circumference of a round room, closer to the ceiling. It was over a dozen meters to the ground, and another three or four up to the ceiling from where the walkway was positioned. Once she flipped down into that pit, it would be her against the sixteen-eyed monster that stood between us and the final chamber. Maybe we would luck out and it wouldn't really have a laser cannon in its chest, but after everything I'd seen, that felt like a pretty horrible bet to take.

"We don't even know that getting past this thing will be worth the effort," I whispered. "What are we going to find in the sub-chamber? How is it gonna help me at all?"

"Dunno. Just… okay, should I use the save point? Because the room already locked behind us, and if I need some kind of item that we didn't find on our way here…"

"Right, I know. Like, do we really wanna have to go through the gates all over again if we don't use it?"

"Yeah." Glancing back at the closed-and-shut door, then over at the spinning, glowing book that floated above a magic circle on the floor, she flashed me a huge shrug. "I think I can take him, but like, you're right; do we lock down how far we've come, or give ourselves a way to double back for power-ups?"

Facepalming, which didn't do much since I could see through my hand, I sighed, "Whatever. Just please be careful?"

"Okay. Here goes nothing…"

Knives walked over and touched the save point. Now we were committed. Once the glow faded from her skin, she gave me a thumb's up before leaping down to land in front of the beast.

Watching her at work is like watching Russian ballet, only with green blood spraying everywhere. Darting back and forth, hiding behind pillars to dodge the worst of its needle attacks, and then hopping out to slice it up as much as she could. It smacked her around a few times, but she was doing some pretty decent damage… until it got her with the laser cannon. Then she was fried to ash, and there as nothing I could do…

But wait for her to respawn at the save point. I was a ghost; I didn't affect anything, other than to talk to her and give her ideas.

"Whoa, did… that really happen just now?"

"Man, I'm glad that worked," I told her, feeling like years had been shaved off my afterlife. "I… oh Knives…"

That definitely didn't sound like me, and she noticed, turning back from where she had been approaching the edge of the catwalk. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah. Just… just not ready to see you get hurt. Even if you pop right back in, that was still…"

"But you saw me get beaten up by Gideon before, right? So what's the difference?"

I scoffed. "Didn't have much of a personal investment in you then. And that was scary, too."

"He wasn't a real threat."

"He seemed to beat up Scott pretty thoroughly!"

"Yeah." Her smile was pretty confident, yet somehow still adorable, like she was about to break out into the world's cutest maniacal laughter. "But he's got nothing on me. Be right back."

And she was. I could tell it was almost done for, but then it did a stomp move that knocked her onto her butt. The next stomp squished her flat. But she popped back in thanks to our handy checkpoint and jumped straight back down there again. And again. And again. Eventually, I had to stop watching the moment she bit it or I would have been screaming and sobbing, despite having no physical tears to shed. But each time, she got a little better.

"Dude, give it up. Maybe they can figure out a way to pull you out of here from this save point. Do you have a Wing Bottle, maybe?"

"No… way!" she panted, leaning back against the wall as she caught her breath. Apparently, even though the save point respawned her, it wasn't respawning her stamina entirely. She still needed a break before trying again. "I got this! And… I'm not giving up on you!"

"You should! I'm not worth this! God, I know you want to win, and I think you can, but watching you die over and over is… I hate it!"

Frowning, she pushed off and came over to hug me very briefly. By which I mean she put her arms around my ghostly form and kinda held them there, giving the impression of a hug, which was close enough. "Sorry. I'd hate watching you do that, too… but we gotta win this. And I will; I think I've about got his pattern down. I just have to remember not to tuck-and-roll at that moment when I think I need to again, and I'll be good."

"Did you notice what he does before he fires off the canon? The way his top two eyes blink?"

"What? No, I didn't! Okay, that'll really help, because like, I was just waiting to see the chest open and then it's almost too late to duck…" Nodding a couple off times, she then smiled over at me. "Yeah, I'll watch for it. Thanks!"

"What 'thanks'? I'm basically helping you help me. Go on."

The final attempt was a thing of beauty to watch. Knives had that chump on the ropes the whole time, snapping at his tentacles with her blades and ducking out of their reach, away from the needles that shot out of them, and then dodging the laser cannon because of me pointing out the blinking thing. She had a pretty good dodge ratio even before that, but seeing her get out of the way every time was a lot more satisfying. Then, once he did the duck-down halfway through the fight, getting ready to slam, she sliced his stupid wings off and he got pissed the way he does, firing the laser in an up-down pattern that she had to dodge by ducking and then jumping up to grab the ledge. Didn't take much of that for her to wear him down so she could dart in and poke out the last remaining eyes. Once he was blind, all she had to do was stab the crystal on his back and he was down for good.

"YES!" she cheered, falling to her knees. "I… I did it! I did it!"

We both shouted our celebrations for a few seconds as I drifted down, wishing I could hug her. After a few minutes of that I said, "Oh man… what a jerk! If my fist wasn't invisible I would punch him."

"Now?"

"Yeah, now! He messed with my girl!"

Knives's flush took on a different meaning. "Awww, you called me your girl. I'm gonna give you so many kisses when you have a face again!"

"I… just… o-okay," I managed to stammer, ignoring her giggle as she started walking. "Wait, shouldn't you go back to the save point?"

"Nah, it's too far up to get to it without timing wall jumps for hours. And anyway, now that I have the pattern down, I can blow through that boss pretty easy if I have to again. Muscle memory, right?"

So I followed her forward into the next chamber. The innermost one, where the "real me" was supposed to be, if this was all coming true as we went. Crazy, but it was hard to argue with the proof when it was right in front of us like that.

This chamber really did look like the inside of a heart. The walls were a dark red, slick and nasty, and in the center was a cage made of stone. We took a quick look around, hoping to spot any crazy vampires or fire-breathing lizard-turtles that would want to kill Knives — and by extension, my chances of being able to move ever again — and saw nothing. So instead, we rushed to see what was in the cage.

It was me. Or at least, it was some weird version of me that I could only describe as a princess. Her hair was about half a meter longer and done in some kind of gentle wavy curls that I could never pull off in a million hours of crimping, and she was wearing a white dress that showed off the rack that I don't really have. Her upper arms weren't nearly as jacked as mine are from drumming, but they were still toned. Basically, this was what I would look like if I dieted perfectly, had my own stylist and was also on my way to a debutante ball or whatever.

"Oh!" Princess Pine gasped when she spotted Knives. "You have come for me, Prince Chau!"

"Prince?" Knives muttered with a frown.

"Yes! You are the prince and I am the princess, waiting f-"

"She's not a dude!" I shouted in my best heckling voice. What the hell was this supposed to be? I was instantly offended by her very existence.

"I'll not hear a word from you, pretender!" she said, voice somewhere between angry and frightened. "The NegaKim must be vanquished!"

For a few seconds, we just blinked at her. It was me who asked, "The what?"

"NegaKim! 'Tis you who has been in charge of my body, stealing everything I could have done for night a decade of years! A shame and a disgrace to my face!"

"Wait," Knives put in, holding up a hand. The other one was still holding a dagger; she wanted to be at least semi-prepared for a sudden attack. "What are you talking about, 'NegaKim'?"

"She is NegaKim! I am the real Kim Pine, of course! Forced into this Gorgon Maiden by nefarious means, kept prisoner by the evil twin-spirit who took over my physical form! While my prince wasted her efforts on her, when I would have been much more appreciative!" She was still talking with all that righteous fire, but saying that last part I could see her blush a lot worse than I usually did. And it looked better on her. Goddamn it, I couldn't even be the hottest version of Kim Pine, which really rankled.

Knives had a different observation. "Well, at least she's getting the pronouns right…"

"Listen, you," I growled angrily. "Fuck the hell off. It's my body, I've had it for twenty-five years, and I'm not handing it over to some… frilly, froofy cunt!"

That gave her one of those affronted faces you only see in movies set in the 1800s. After she recovered, she hissed, "You'll regret this! I don't know how, but you will, I'll…" There were tears in her eyes. This was pretty legit for a fake-ass bitch trying to steal my spot in life. Her fists were trying to rattle the bars of her little cage as she shouted, "I'm going to get out of here, I swear it!"

"Okay, okay," Knives hissed, raising her hand again to encourage her to calm down. "What if we get you out, and you can go away somewhere else? Isn't that a good, like… compromise? OH! What if we got a robot-Kim, and you could go live in there?"

"My prince… can't you see that I am your intended?" she pleaded with her, leaning so far against the bars that her face was trying to push between them. "Not her, me! She will hurt you, but I would cradle your heart as if a baby bird! I… all I want is to make you happy!"

Everyone was quiet for a few seconds. I turned back to Knives and shrugged. "Well? She's the girl of your dreams. All the freckles, and none of the acid-tongue. Plus she's way cuter."

"Nah," Knives said without any hesitation. "I know who I love, and it's you. This is some other test and I'm gonna pass this one, too. And the next one, and the next, until I break you out and we can both go get sushi or something."

As I was grinning at her, beyond any level of love for her that I had previously thought possible, I dimly noticed Princess Pine collapsing on the floor in a flurry of sobs. Oh well, too bad. Better luck next time. As we were sharing that moment, someone came along to interrupt it…

"How dare you thwart my plans! I've been waiting for this to come to fruition for seven years!"

If my face could have paled any further than ghostly white, it would have.

"Simon Lee."

To Be Continued…

[sciencespies]

The 10 Best Wellness Trends Of The 2010’s

https://sciencespies.com/news/the-10-best-wellness-trends-of-the-2010s/

The 10 Best Wellness Trends Of The 2010’s

With the sun having set on the 2010s, what are the top wellness trends to take into the New Year … [+] 2020? (Photo: Getty Images)

Getty

Every chocolate eclair has a golden lining. While the 2010’s have had its share of bogus and bad wellness trends, it’s also had its good ones. On the last day of the past decade, I covered for Forbes the Top 10 worst wellness trends of the twenty-teens. Let’s use the New Year to cover the really good ones. Now without further doggie-doo, here are the Top 10 best:

10. Athleisure, activewear, and eco-friendly apparel

“Athleisure” or “activewear” clothes are more comfortable but also stylish garbs that you can wear during athletic activities as well as others such work, going to school, attending parties, and getting arrested at protests. It’s basically melding sportswear with everyday wear, making it easier to meld physical activity with everything else. Why not? After all, many classic office-wear clothing items make about as much sense as the lyrics of the song Ice, Ice Baby. For example, neckties have little practical purpose, except to dab the tears in your eyes from your dreams being slowly crushed by your boss.

Then there are eco-friendly clothes, those that are less likely to pollute the environment. For example, they may be made out of natural fibers rather than petroleum-based clothing, which can be a source of microplastics, making oceans look like a bedazzler gone overboard, so to speak, as I’ve covered before for Forbes.

More clothing lines emerged that merged athletic activities with other activities. (Photo: Getty … [+] Images)

Getty

9. More flexible work hours and more attention to family leave policies

While I was in medical school, an anesthesiologist once told me, “the best thing about anesthesiology is that you get into work at 6 am and then.” Everything sort of went hazy after he said that, because, to borrow a quote from the movie Jerry McGuire, he definitely didn’t have me at 6 am. Even if he had continued by saying,”they provided gold bars and sushi,” that workday start-time basically ruled out anesthesiology as a career option for me.

Fortunately, the 2010s saw increasing recognition that not everyone operates best at the same hours. On one end of the spectrum are night owls, who prefer later-to-rise-and-later-to-bed hours. At the other end are people whose sole purpose is to make night owls miserable: the early morning people, the larks. Then, there is a whole continuum of people in between. Over the past decade, more and more workplaces began offering more flex hours, allowing employees to better tailor their “on times” to their own personal working styles.

Another trend was paying more attention to having more reasonable family leave policies. Note that the words are “paying more attention to” and not actually changing them. While some organizations have responded by offering longer family leave, not all are allowing mothers and fathers much time with, you know, those living, breathing, peeing, and pooping things that have appeared in their houses and apartments. As John Oliver pointed out in this 2015 episode of Last Week Tonight, the U.S. still lags most of the world (except for perhaps Papa New Guinea) in this area:

8. Doing something about the sitting problem

Is sitting literally the new smoking, as some began claiming that it is? Not exactly, unless you are doing something really weird with your bottom. What this saying is supposed to highlight are the dangers of sitting around too much, which can lead to an increased risk of obesity and other non-communicable diseases (NCDs). The 2010s saw various trends aimed at decreasing your sitting time, such as standing desks, conducting meetings while standing, desk cycles, computer screen reminders to periodically get off of your butt, and the movie “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” to get you moving more or out of your seat. Not all of these will necessarily sit well with time though. Standing too long has its perils too, such as back and foot issues, and people asking you to stop blocking their view in the movie theater. And if you’ve got a standing desk, you’ve got to be real careful when propping your feet on the desk.

Standing desks became a thing in many workplaces. (Photo: Getty Images)

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7. More plant-based diets

Eating more plants and less meat can be better for not only your health but also the environment. Fruits and vegetables are naturally lower in saturated fat and sodium and can be higher in sodium and many types of nutrients and antioxidants. Plus, meat production can add lots of carbon and other types of pollution to the environment, and it’s not just from cows farting. The past decade did see an increase in plant-awareness and plant-based options. Heck, there is even meat-free haggis now, which is a bit like Game of Thrones without the killing and the sex. Keep in mind, though, plant-based doesn’t automatically mean healthy. Some plant-based dishes can have plenty of bad stuff added such as saturated fat, salt, sugar, and artificial ingredients. Also, if you are vegan, don’t go acting like the Todd Ingram vegan character in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Being vegan won’t automatically make you better than others, as this tweet references:

6. Waking up to sleep problems

What you do in bed matters, a lot. No, not that the stuff that takes on average 5.4 minutes to do with a range of 0.55 minutes to 44.1 minutes, based on a study of men in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Instead, I’m referring to what you usually do in bed, which is sleep or, at least try to sleep. Getting less than seven hours of sleep a night is linked to increased risk of obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, frequent mental distress, and death. And if you are dead, you can’t do that other stuff in bed, at least you really shouldn’t. A study published in the February 19, 2016, issue of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report found that more than a third of Americans regularly fall below this seven hour threshold. While many of these sleep problems have not yet been adequately solved, at least there seems to be more awareness for now.

The increasing use of smartphones and other devices may be affecting sleep. (Photo: Getty Images)

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5. Meditation and mindfulness

And Zen there’s this trend. It isn’t a completely new trend. In fact, various meditation and mindfulness practices have been common for hundreds of years in many parts of Asia. What’s new is these practices are becoming more mainstream in the U.S. For example, my previous article in Forbes covered how the NBA has incorporated such practices into its Rookie Transition Program. Being more in touch with your mind, your feelings, and your environment can’t be a bad thing. Maybe mindfulness can help counteract another trend that’s happening on social media: mindlessness.

Here is a video from the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) on the origins and traditions of meditation:

4. Personalized health, nutrition, etc.

Surprise, surprise. Everyone is not the same. You all don’t have the same bodies, the same minds, and the same circumstances. You all don’t like to dab. For too many years, too many people, whether its medical researchers, people trying to sell stuff like diets and medications, or people making policies and guidelines, have overlooked the individual and tried to lump people together into gigantic buckets. The 2010s saw increased realization that this just doesn’t work, that you actually have to, gasp, get to know someone before making many judgments and giving advice.

3. Talking more about mental health

If you have a bleeding arm, would you ever try to hide it or fear that someone will say, “ha, ha, that’s the bleeding arm guy, look at how bleeding his arm is.” Similarly, hiding mental health issues for fear of stigma and social and career implications makes little sense. You can’t address an issue if you don’t know about it. The 2010s had a number of athletes, movie and television stars, and other celebrities be more frank about their mental health challenges. For example, in this Today show segment, celebrities Carson Daly, Kristen Bell, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Love and Michael Phelps discuss their anxiety, depression and other mental health challenges:

2. Efforts to increase sports participation and make it more inclusive.

Physical inactivity has become a major worldwide problem that’s gotten worse in the 2010s. Sport participation, especially among kids, dropped in the 2000s and much of the 2010’s with sports becoming too expensive, too competitive, and too inaccessible to play for many and a range of more sedentary activities like social media and putting Tide Pods in your mouth competing for attention.

But there is hope. The past decade witnessed increasing diversity among professional and other high profile athletes. Events like the 2019 Women’s World Cup provided a greater showcase for women’s sports:

Kosovare Asllani of Sweden (R) battles for the ball with Samantha Mewis of United States (L) during … [+] the 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup France group F match between Sweden and USA at on June 20, 2019 in Le Havre, France. (Photo by Marcio Machado/Getty Images)

Getty Images

The tail end of Ichiro Suzuki’s major league baseball career, the spectacular beginning of Jeremy Lin’s NBA career, and Chloe Kim’s gold-medal-winning 2018 Winter Olympic debut got more people used to seeing those of Asian descent as top athletes.

Jeremy Lin #17 of the New York Knicks in action against Jason Maxiell #54 of the Detroit Pistons on … [+] March 24, 2012 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The Knicks defeated the Pistons 101-79. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Getty Images

The 2010s also saw more Black athletes dominate in roles, such as being an NFL quarterback, that not too long ago seemed reserved for White athletes. Moreover, initiatives like Project Play 2020, which I have described previously for Forbes, launched to increase youth participation in sports.

1.Finding ways to decrease sugar and salt consumption.

Oh sugar, who would have thought that drinking sugar water would be a bad thing? In the 2010s, there was finally a whole lot more attention paid to the dangers of adding sugar to everything. This included trying to find ways to curb the consumption of sugary drinks, such as warning labels and soda taxes, and helping people better understand how much sugar is being added to food. One example is when First Lady-at-the-time Michelle Obama worked with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to add a new category to the Nutrition Facts label: “Added Sugars.” The actual implementation of this change has been delayed under President Donald Trump’s administration.

On August 22, 2017, KIND Healthy Snacks dumped over 45,000 pounds of sugar in Times Square to … [+] represent how much added sugar American children consume each day. (Photo by Vanessa Carvalho/Brazil Photo Press/LatinContent via Getty Images)

LatinContent via Getty Images

This list certainly ain’t everything that was good about wellness the 2010s. Also, some wellness trends in the decade were a bit mixed. For example, wearables really became a thing. The good thing about these tech devices is that you can wear them on your body to monitor what you do. The bad thing is that you can wear them on your body to monitor what you do. Questions remain about the usefulness of the information being collected and the impact of others knowing this information.

Alas, 2020 is no longer just name of a television show or a perfect reading on an eye exam. It is now when we are. How many of these best wellness trends will continue and expand? You may want to sleep on it.

#News

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Scarecrow- Part 3

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,934

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this. If you want something requested, send it in!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Part One, Part Two

“Dean, it looks like it too late out. Are you sure they are okay?” You bit your lip as Dean raced into Burkitsville.

“Y/N, would you calm down? We will make it.” Dean said, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Dean. This is a Pagan God we are dealing with here. I’ve never messed with one before but I know that we shouldn’t get on it’s bad side.”

“Y/N, no one is dying tonight and I will do this without you too if I have to.” You shut your mouth and just let Dean drive his car and hopefully, the couple weren’t dead when you got there. Dean’s car came to a screech at the entrance of the orchard and it looked even creepier at night.

“Shit, Dean, that's their car.” You saw the abandoned red car and you grabbed your shotgun from the back, handing Dean his. You got out of the car and raced inside the orchard, cocking the gun.

“Go find the couple.” You said to Dean. He was about to argue but you already ran off in search for the scarecrow. You walked and looked around for the creepy thing when you heard a woman scream. You raced to the noise and saw the scarecrow making its way to the couple who were running. You raised the gun and shot the scarecrow in the back. You knew it wouldn’t do any harm but it will slow him down and that is all you needed.

“Get back to your car.” You heard Dean say to the couple. Before the scarecrow could look back at you, you ran behind the trees and stealthily made your way to Dean. You heard shots being fired and growling come from the God.

“Y/N!” You heard Dean yell for you. You were dodging trees, making your way to the entrance.

“Go, Dean! I’m right behind you.” You couldn’t see Dean but you weren’t concerned for the Hunter right now. You knew he could take care of himself. You were focused on you and how you needed to get the hell out of there. You ran out to the clearing and saw the entrance. You saw Dean but gasped when you felt a blade hook onto your jacket and you screamed out.

Dean ran inside the orchard to come to your aid, leaving the couple behind. You saw the Scarecrow ready to devour you but you weren’t ready to die yet. You quickly got out of your jacket, leaving it behind as you ran away from him. You caught up with Dean and he held your hand as the two of you ran to the entrance.

“No, wait, Dean, my mom’s letter was there!” You ran back to get it but Dean held you back.

“No, we can’t go in there. He’ll kill us.” You looked back at the entrance to see him gone. You let a tear fall but you knew it was stupid to go back in there.

“What the hell was that?” The man panted, looking at his girlfriend.

“Don’t ask.” You and Dean aid at the same time. You put your hands on your knees and breathed out deep breaths. You had to get the letter back. You would just have to go in the morning, any time before sundown.

The next day came and you and Dean had an appointment with a professor who knew a lot about Pagan Gods and their history. You were in the car, waiting to go in when you took out your phone. Dean had his eyes closed, just resting them when you dialed the one person you missed.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” You said into it.

“Who are you calling?” Dean asked without opening his eyes.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, Sam, I’m fine. Dean’s okay too, if you were wondering.” You said, watching Dean open his eyes and turn towards you. You could see it in his eyes that he wanted to talk to his brother.

“Good, good. What’s up?”

“Well, Dean and I just dealt with a scarecrow. A scarecrow that walked right off its cross. It was really creepy in the daytime so imagine it at night. It kills couples and it has been for a while now. We had to interfere with the couple last night.” You looked at Dean and saw his hand twitch. “Hold on, Sam.” You handed the phone to Dean. “Would you like to talk to your brother?” Instead of answering, Dean took the phone and pressed it to his ear.

“Hey, Sammy,” You smiled at the relief that was etched on his face. You couldn’t hear what Sam said but Dean laughed at whatever was being said. “Yeah, I’m telling you. Burkitsville, Indiana. Fun town.”

“Put him on speakerphone.” You said to Dean. He did as he was told and you listened to Sam.

“It didn’t kill the couple, did it?” Sam asked.

“No. We can’t cope without you, you know.” Dean said. You heard him say we but you knew he meant I.

“So, something must be animating it. A spirit.” Sam said, ignoring his brother’s statement.

“No, it’s more than a spirit. It’s a god. A Pagan god, anyway.” You spoke up.

“What makes you say that?”

“The annual cycle of its killings? And the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. Like some kind of fertility right and you should see the locals, the way they treated this couple. They were fattening them up like a Christmas turkey.” Dean said.

“The last meal. Given to sacrificial victims.” Sam said quietly. You wondered where he was.

“Yeah, I’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some Pagan god.” Dean stated.

“So, a god possesses the scarecrow and the scarecrow takes its sacrifice. Then, for another year, the crops won’t wilt, and disease won’t spread.” Sam put the pieces together.

“We don’t know which God we’re dealing with but that’s okay because we have an appointment with a college professor.” You said to Sam.

“I don’t have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research.” Dean joked.

“You know, if you’re hinting you need my help, just ask.” Sam said. You wished they would just make up.

“I’m not hinting anything. Actually, uh, I want you to know…. I mean, don’t think….” Dean had trouble saying what he was thinking. You knew what it was but you needed him to say it.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, too.” Sam said suddenly.

“Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” Dean said softly. You watched him and he looked sad but envy a bit.

“Are you serious?”

“You’ve always known what you want and you go after it. You stand up to Dad and you always have. Hell, I wish I… anyway…. I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.” You smiled at his confession.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Sam said, surprised.

“Say you’ll take care of yourself.”

“I will.” Sam said.

“Call me when you find Dad.” Dean was about to hang up but you stopped him.

“I miss you a lot, Sammy. I wish you were here with us.” You said.

“Yeah, I miss you guys too but this is something I have to do.”

“Yeah, I understand. Please be safe.” You said sweetly.

“OK. Bye, Dean. Bye, Y/N.” Sam hung up and you took your phone back from Dean.

“Why did you let him go.” You asked.

“Because he deserves it.” He looked at the time and got out of the car, ending the conversation. You opened your phone back out and sent a text to Sam just in case you were in trouble.

Sam, please call us tonight. I have a feeling that something is wrong and if we don’t answer, please come to Indiana and finish this with us. Dean loves you and I know you love him so quit acting like babies and be together again.

You got out of the car and didn’t bother checking if Sam texted back at all. You walked into the university with Dean and walked to the professor’s classroom where he said to meet.

“Professor? My name is Y/N and this is Dean. We called about the Pagan information.” You smiled at him and he got up from his desk to shake your hands.

“It’s not every day I get a research question on Pagan ideology.” He smiled.

“Yeah, well, call it a hobby.” Dean chuckled.

“But you said you were interested in local lore?” You nodded and he continued. “I’m afraid Indiana isn’t really known for its Pagan worship.”

“Well, what if it was imported? You know, like the Pilgrims brought their religion over. Wasn’t a lot of this area settled by immigrants?” You asked.

“Like that town near here, Burkitsville. Where are their ancestors from?” Dean added to your thought.

“Uh, northern Europe, I believe, Scandinavia.” You saw him tense up but didn’t think anything of it.

“What could you tell me about those Pagan gods?” Dean asked. You would be asking the questions but you were too busy focusing on the professor’s reactions to the questions.

“Well, there are hundreds of Norse gods and goddesses.” The professor began to say, trying to steer Dean off the topic.

“I’m actually looking for one. Might live in an orchard.” Dean said.

“I have more information in my office. Please, if you’ll follow me.” The professor got up and led you and Dean out in the hall and down it.

“Dean, he doesn’t seem like he was giving off everything.” You whispered to Dean.

“What do you mean?” Dean whispered back.

“I don’t know. The people in this town give me a weird vibe. Everyone except Emily.” You stopped at an office and walked inside, seeing the professor holding a hand out to you.

“Wait here.” He walked deeper into the office until you could see him anymore.

“Dean, something is happening and I don’t know exactly what. That scares me.” The professor came back with a book and set it down, opening it.

“Woods god, hm? Well, let’s see,” The man said, rifling through the pages. You watched the different pictures of Pagan Gods flitter the pages but stopped the professor when you saw what you needed.

“What, what’s that one?” You asked, looking at the older man.

“Oh, that’s not a woods god, per se.” He said.

“The Vanir were Norse gods of protection and prosperity, keeping the local settlements safe from harm. Some villages built effigies of the Vanir in their fields. Other villages practiced human sacrifice. One male, and one female. Kind of looks like a scarecrow, huh?” Dean said, looking at the picture. You were getting somewhere.

“I suppose.” The professor said, shrugging. You could tell the professor was getting uncomfortable with this kind of questioning.

“This particular Vanir, it’s energy comes from a sacred tree?” You asked, reading the text.

“Well, Pagans believed all sorts of things were infused with magic.” The man shrugged.

“So, what would happen if the sacred tree was torched? You think it’d kill the god?” You saw the man tense and break out in a thin sheet of sweat.

“Son, these are just legends we’re discussing.” The shrugged and wouldn’t look at you in the eyes.

“Oh, of course. Yeah, you’re right. Listen, thank you very much.” You smiled and shook the man’s hand. You looked at Dean and motioned to follow you.

“Glad I could help.” You opened the door but once you did, everything went black.

Part Four

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging

Forever tags:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm