#'probably not.'

[savetheplanarians]

While babysitting my pastor's 8-year-old daughter

Her: Are you going to get married? Me: I am not. Her: Me neither. I don't want a man telling me what to do. Me: ...Yeah? Her: Yeah. Because the man is the head of the household, but I want to be my own boss. Also, a husband would be expensive. You would have to spend money to feed him, instead of just yourself. Me: You are so right.

later, while watching a movie in which a dozen small piglets are released into a fancy party, wreaking havoc:

Her: This is why I also don't want kids. They break things. And also are expensive! You have to feed them, and then send them to college! Me: You are so, so right.

[hellishqueer]

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

[cosmos-kitty]

Maybe the real treasure was the boops we made along the way

[liquidstar]

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

[wolfythewitch]

How does this keep happening to me

[trashy-greyjoy]

really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

[miraclemaya]

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

[porcelain-rob0t]

on identity, healing the inner child, fursonas, and cringe culture

[barblaz-arts]

They forgot to tell him

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[wormy-business]

I saw this question posed on tiktok, but I think Tumblr would really enjoy it too.

If a fae creature offered to give one million dollars for a bone FROM YOUR BODY chosen at random, how many bones would you allow them to take?

Light clarifications; The fae is not the one choosing the bones. The bone is taken at random. Each bone, no matter the size or importance, is worth a full million dollars. You must also declare the exact number first, you can't go bone-by-bone. You either say 2 or you say 10, you can't work your way up to a higher number. The bones are removed instantaneously, and the money is given immediately as well. You will not get in government trouble for acquiring the money.

Tell me in the tags/replies how many bones you'd let the fae take. And as always, reblog for bigger sample size.

[jacqcrisis]

Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[canisbeanz]

Silly doodle bc it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Pomni.

[ineed-to-sleep]

This mans got me in a chokehold ahahahaaa 🫠

don't tell him I said that

[whisperingbadger]

Okay, normally, I don't do this kind of thing, but I can not get it out of my head.

Carmilla said the best thing to kill an angel with is to fight for what you love. To fight for something you believe in. And that's what the whole gang does.

Charlie fights for her dream

Vaggie fights for Charlie

Angel and Husk fight for their friends

Lucifer fights for his daughter

Sir Pentious DIED for love and friendship

Guess who doesn't win in their fight?

Alastor can not comprehend dying for friends of all things. He was fighting for power he was fighting for freedom, and he lost his fight.