#'the only thing that stops this from becoming a tragedy is one single man believing a woman and that fact makes me want to eat my brain'

[vexwerewolf]

why is it that we only have like two licenses from any mech producer that’s a good guy? For a game where like there are clear good and bad guys (even if who you play isn’t necessarily linked to that) it seems strange to me that the only loot and XP you get is… more benefits from the bad guys

I can tell you the answer, but to do so, we're gonna have to talk about a completely different TTRPG.

If you've read @makapatag's truly excellent Filipino martial arts TTRPG Gubat Banwa (and if you haven't, here it is), you may notice that every single character class description (with one notable exception) ends with one of these babies:

I am not Makapatag, and I cannot write with quite as much grace and eloquence as he can, but I will try:

If you choose to become a Lancer, ask yourself why you mock the name of peace with these weapons of war. You call yourself a saviour, but your steed was forged from the murder of a world. You stride across the sky in a colossus built in your own image, so why are you too cowardly to give it your face? Why do you believe these machines of death can preserve life?

It is important to note that the admonitions in Gubat Banwa are not just there to make you feel bad; they are there as legitimate questions. The Sword Isles have seen so much blood, death and tragedy. Wars are not glorious and killing is not a game. So, knowing all of that, why have you taken up this discipline - no matter how noble and virtuous it might claim to be - to shed more blood, to bring more death, to write more tragedy? What could possibly drive you to this? What need is so great that you must kill?

The thing with Gubat Banwa is that there are legitimate answers to these questions! There are bad people doing bad things, and some of them will not be stopped with words or kindness. Sometimes, as sorrowful as it is, killing is the correct choice to prevent greater suffering and deeper tragedy - but adding less misery and death to the world is still adding some amount of it. Even the most necessary wars will drench the ground in the blood of the innocent.

A sword is a tool meant to kill humans; while it can be used for other things, it is not well-suited to anything other than this. A mech is, in its most basic essence, just a very complicated sword: it's usually used on things larger than a person, but it's still a tool built to kill.

So why have you taken up this path? Humanity was saved from the brink of extinction and has created wondrous technologies like printers, cold fusion and mind-machine interface, and yet you use them to play soldier in a giant metal man. Why do you choose to take up this machine of death, built by the greedy and pitiless? Why do you think these machines can ever make things right?

Because sometimes, despite everything, they can.

Warhammer 40K shows an awful world full of monsters and monstrosity, and in the darkest moments of its history, Lancer's world looked just as bleak, but Lancer's world differs in one crucial way. Warhammer's world has long given up trying to be better, but Lancer's world never did. Lancer's world kept insisting a better world is possible, and it used what tools it had to make it so.

Sometimes the correct choice, no matter how bitter it may seem, is to kill someone. When you need to do this, a sword is a perfectly good choice for the job.

If you find yourself discomforted by the fact that all the people you can buy mechs from are corrupt and immoral - good! You have correctly engaged with the text. You have understood that the sort of people who would make giant walking death machines and sell them for profit are not good people. But you still have a job to do, and you need the correct tools, and those people have them.

Lancer is not a game about a perfect world - it is a game about a deeply flawed and imperfect one that does not let its imperfection stop it from trying. You have to try to make a better world, even with imperfect tools made by unpleasant people.

[kentopedia]

it's been decades since you've last seen dazai; your lover & your maker. now that you're finally happy, he's haunting you again with a thousand buried memories.

overall contents. fem!reader, nsfw minors dni, exes to lover, gothic romance, blood drinking, vampire!reader, vampire!dazai, smut, cheating reader, complicated relationships, blood, gore, jealousy, manipulation, religious symbolism, betrayal, reunions — currently at 21k words

PART III ♰ MASTERLIST

Night after night, you returned to the bar to indulge in the taste of Dazai, the single ambrosia from Heaven that your ill-forgotten God had bestowed upon the earth. How lucky you were, you believed, to be the sole being that he would share himself with completely; no one else would know such bliss.

The conversation started out as little, but as the days and nights continued, you found yourself seeping into his presence, remembering just how easy it was and would always be. Osamu was your sole addiction, and like any weak person would, you continued to return to your vice.

Each moment you spent with him was like a beginning and end. A longing for a time that you could never return to and a fresh start all at once. Unlike the man from your old memories, he never turned to smirk at the women that were leering at him, brown irises focused only on the small quip of your lips as he drew an exhale of a laugh from you.

His humor was dry, and Dazai teased you often, but he wasn’t unkind—he wasn’t the evil monster that you remembered him being, even in the moments that you loved him with every ounce of your body and soul.

For the first time in his life, he opened up to you, told you things that he had never told anyone before. His life had been a mystery to you for decades; he’d kept it sheltered inside of him, a vulnerability that he would never let any enemy capitalize on. Now, though, he trusted you, perhaps in a way that he didn’t think he could until you’d spent time apart.

If you hadn’t turned on him in his darkest moments, sought to end him in a way that he’d always claimed to want, then certainly, at least a fraction of your love was true.

Despite all of that, though, you kept everything about your relationship transactional. You met up with him, gave him an ear and shared some of your own trials from the times you were apart. At the end of it all, you considered him nothing more than the man you once loved, the one that had turned you when you’d been at the lowest point of your life.

The relationship you shared could never be explained by a singular word. It was years of tragedy and misery and a love so deep that it consumed you from the inside out until it destroyed you.

That love would always be there. You’d always love him, but you were resolved to letting him go. This time, you could close this chapter of your life, could end things with Dazai on a note that didn’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth. You could become a person outside of him, could love Atsushi and learn what your new immortal life would be like with a man that had a silver heart, instead of one encased in iron.

Every night, when you left the bar and crawled back into bed with Atsushi, that’s what you reminded yourself of. If he ever grew suspicious of your activity, he never made note of it, and he stopped mentioning the deaths that had increased tenfold, the ones that were bleeding him dry and exhausting him to the point of collapse.

When three weeks had passed, and things had continued in the same vein, Atsushi reached his breaking point. His eyes were red, dark circles around them, his cheeks hollow. Somehow, you hadn’t noticed how much weight he’d lost until then, how pale his skin had become.

Atsushi had waited up for you, his knees curled up in his chest as he sat against the headboard. There was something vacant about his eyes, the life that lingered there had nearly disappeared.

Guilt clawed its way up your body until it tasted like nausea, and you wanted to vomit from the horrid emotion that took control. In every possible way, you’d neglected the man that was supposed to be the love of your life, turned a blind eye to spend time with the vampire that had once broken you so completely. It was a sickening twist of fate, and you had no idea how to even begin apologizing.

“Atsushi,” you said, the syllables tumbling out of your dry lips.

Though, you didn’t get far with whatever miserable statement you were attempting to make. Atsushi sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, tipping his head back as he rang his fingers together. “They’re sending me away for a week. Starting tomorrow.”

It took you a moment to process his words. You stared back at him, before rushing towards the bed, not bothering to kick off your shoes. “What?” you asked, aghast. “For more work? Atsushi, look at you. Some days, you can hardly stand.”

He shook his head, smiling softly as you came into his orbit. Atsushi’s hands were soft on your thigh, even though you couldn’t feel a thing under the thick layers of your dress. His purple eyes were full of an intense love, but so different than the predatory, desperate affection that Dazai had always shared.

You stiffened under his palm, hating that Dazai even crossed your mind. Atsushi retracted his hand, eyebrows narrowing together.

“It’s not for more work,” he said, yawning, despite himself. “They want me to take a break. Get out of the city and away from the murders for a while.” Atsushi laughed, though it was bitter and self-deprecating. “I don’t blame them. I’m a detective, and I can’t handle—”

“Atsushi, they’re gruesome. They’re vile. That doesn’t make you weak, that means you’re caring.” You deflated, crawling over to him to hold his cheek gently. “Any normal person would vomit at the sight of that. You shouldn’t be criticizing yourself for something like that.”

His frown deepened, but he said nothing.

“Can I come too?” you asked, even though you knew it would be difficult. There wasn’t enough time to plan, enough time to figure out an alternative to Dazai’s blood while you were in proximity to Atsushi.

Something that, you began to realize, would quickly become an issue. As long as Atsushi was human, you would always run the risk of hurting him.

Atsushi shook his head, finally, lacing his fingers in with yours against his cheek. “I think it’s best if I go alone. I need some time to process everything, and I think I’ll rest more this way.”

“But I don’t want you to be alone with all those horrible thoughts,” you frowned. “You’ll ruminate on them, and I don’t want you to come back feeling even worse than before.”

“I’ll be fine,” he promised. “I love you, but I want to worry about this on my own. Can you understand that?”

You were silent, a part of you secretly relieved, but evenly concerned. It seemed like the first step Atsushi might take in pushing you away, even if you had been the one to topple the first domino.

“Alright,” you finally said, standing once again to change into your night clothes. “Come back immediately if you don’t think you’re okay. Can you promise me that, at least?”

Atsushi nodded.

He left the next day.

You arrived at the bar earlier than Dazai, this time, your usual barstools occupied by two old men smoking new cigars. Instead, you sat at the table by the piano, with the woman that had long since learned Dazai wasn’t interested.

The bartender made you a drink you hadn’t asked for, finally taking his shot in the dark now that Dazai wasn’t around. Although you took it, you politely refused conversation, staring ahead at the wall instead, in the hopes that your once lifelong companion would hurry.

It had been two days since Atsushi had gone away, and you’d avoided Dazai in the meantime. An unwise decision, considering that your hunger had only increased tenfold in the hours that you were holed up in your apartment. There was nothing to occupy you there but a collection of books you’d already read and a piano that Atsushi hadn’t tuned in ages.

You tapped your fingers against the table impatiently. The door chimed again. This time, when you looked up, a pair of dark eyes were staring back, feet already dragging him across the room to greet you.

Dazai pulled out the chair, raising his eyebrows at your sour expression. “I take it something’s wrong?”

“Atsushi left,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned back in the chair. “He’s been overworking himself, trying to figure out who this mass murderer is that’s roaming the streets. I have to sit there with a pretty smile and pretend I have no idea what’s happening at all.”

“You don’t have to. You could tell him everything, turn me over to him and spill every secret I’ve ever told you to the vampire hunters that will certainly come after me.” Dazai smiled lazily, leaning over the table. “You could do that. Why don’t you?”

You made a face at him. As if it wasn’t obvious that if you hadn’t turned him over already, then you wouldn’t do it now. Perhaps it was for the sake of all the good memories that you’d shared over the century. Perhaps it was only the fact that his blood had turned you into something immortal, and that part of your soul would never let you turn him over.

It didn’t really matter. That just wasn’t an option.

“You promised you’d cover your tracks better,” you said, ignoring his previous question to lean further over the table. “You’ve killed more people than live in my neighborhood, all in the span of a month. How can you sit there and pretend like—” you stopped, hushing as someone from two tables over began to listen in. “Osamu…”

“I’ve hidden my tracks better than you realize. I have centuries of experience, and I don’t need you to worry about that.” He shook his head, reaching for you across the table.

For once, you let him. Dazai gave a small smile as he took your hand, caressing the crease between your thumb and index finger.

“I can’t keep up with your increasing appetite on my usual diet,” he said, squeezing your palm once more before releasing it. “You cannot continue living with this human on a diet of animal blood, and I cannot continue feeding you without feeding off twice as many people.” He pinned you with his steely gaze, and, against every rational part of your being, you pressed your thighs together, shifting uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to drain them, Osamu. Let them live.”

He laughed, leaning away from you. “Well, I certainly haven’t been killing everyone, sweetheart. Just enough to keep your precious little pet busy. That way, he’ll never notice that his lovely fiancé is sneaking off to see her much more charming lover.”

You clenched your jaw, digging your nails so sharply into your thighs that blood dribbled down your legs. None of that should’ve come as a shock to you. That Dazai would plan something so elaborate, that he would lure you away from Atsushi; it was exactly the kind of plot that he would weave.

“You’re such a fool,” you spat, shaking your head as you turned away to face the door once more. It chimed as people came in and out, leaving the bar only by stumbling over their feet. It was too early; much too early for anyone to be such a mess. “I’m never going to love you again, Osamu. You lie, and you lie, and you lie.”

Dazai’s eyes flashed. “Is that the case?” He peered into every crevice of your face, into your soul, into the truths of your heart that were stripped bare by understanding. “From where I’m sitting, you’re the liar. You don’t tell the human where you’re going, and you pretend that you don’t have to tear yourself away from me every time you have a taste of my blood.”

He seemed far too proud of himself for you to be anything but irritated.

“We aren’t friends, Osamu. This is nothing more than a way for me to survive. Don’t pretend to know otherwise.”

“No, we never really have been friends, have we?” he laughed. “Yet, I never ran out of reasons to love you. Even more, I find something about you that I adore, something that I didn’t already know.”

You set your jaw, finally turning back to him. There was an openness to his features, a small smile that sent you whirling.

Every time he reminded you of his pure adoration, you tripped back over yourself, stumbling into a person that you haven’t been in half a century, one that lost all her senses when it came to an ancient vampire with those burning eyes.

“You don’t mean anything to me,” you said, and though Dazai was grinning at you, knowing too well that you were lying, you kept your voice steady. “We’ve both agreed to keep this relationship as it is, so don’t push your luck.”

“If that’s the case, then come back to my hotel with me,” he whispered, almost like a command, like he could twist your mind the same way that he could a human’s. “You can have as much as you want without worrying that someone will walk around the corner.”

“No,” you shook your head fiercely, not allowing your mind to wander into that territory. You thought of all the times you’d had Dazai laid out on your bed, ripping into his throat as he came inside of you. Heat rose to your cheeks, and you dug your fingers harder into your thigh. “It doesn’t matter if anyone sees, you and I both know that you can just erase their memories.”

He huffed. “But it’s so much more enjoyable in private, isn’t it?”

“No.”

He drew your name out on his lips, teasing and lighthearted. You denied one more time, clenching your jaw.

Dazai was silent. You’d thought that you’d won, that you could get your way with him once and for all. You made your way to your feet, ready to walk out in the alley and launch yourself at him. Perhaps this time, you would finally bleed him dry. Then, he’d be weak enough for you to kill, and you’d never have to put up with him again.

Though, none of that happened. Dazai’s expression shifted at the drop of a pin, turning into one of flat stoicism. His tone was no longer playful, and it instead became deep and serious, one that he saved for so few occasions because he knew what it did to you.

“Sit back down.”

You glared, feeling the annoyance twist into something different. “And if I don’t?”

“You’ll do what I say, or you won’t get any of my blood, sweetheart.” Though you nearly snapped the chair at the sound of his deepened voice, you followed his directions. Something had been set aflame deep within you, and he was a cheating bastard, cruel and conniving and everything that you’d once held dear. “Good girl,” he said in a whisper that only your vampiric hearing could translate.

You stared at him, too afraid that if you moved a muscle, you would lose every ounce of your composure.

His eyes raked over you, eyelashes fluttering over his cheekbones before settling on your flushed cheeks, the way you shifted uncomfortably, repeating Atsushi’s name over in your head, even though it started to sound suspiciously like Osamu.

“You’ll come back with me now, won’t you?”

Dazai watched for a moment longer as you squirmed under his steely gaze, and then his lips broke into a smile, like he’d just won a game and you were his prize for the taking.

“Nothing more,” you said, your words far too weak and wispy to come from your own throat. “I want your blood and nothing more.”

He raised an eyebrow, leaning over the table two get close to your ear. “Don’t lie to me. I can smell how wet you’re getting.”

You flew out of the chair, taking two steps backward before you crashed into the waitress, who dropped the tray of drinks all over the floor, cursing at you as the glasses shattered.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, flustered as you remembered the last time something like that had happened, and it all seemed too familiar that you wondered if you had already died and this was your own brand of personal hell.

Resisting Dazai seemed more of a feat than braving the seven circles.

“I’m sorry,” you said again, and you backed up once more, crashing into Dazai’s chest, the smell of him all so overwhelming that you were salivating, desperate. He held you tightly to him, snaking a possessive arm around your waist.

“I’m sorry about my darling wife. She’s had a very stressful week.”

Something about that word made you weak in the knees, and you were only held up by Dazai’s strong embrace, forced to let his strength carry you. For decades, you’d lived in marriage, and he’d never referred to you as such. Never had Atsushi muttered the word so lyrically, had never drawn it out on his tongue in a way that made you desperate for him.

It was special when it came from Dazai. You could only melt from it.

The woman said nothing as Dazai dragged you away, forced you to gain control of yourself before you were out of the bar. Just a few steps and you would be outside, free to take what you wanted, the drink of ambrosia just inches from your lips.

“Let me, ‘samu,” you said, your voice small as soon as you reached the cool, evening air. “I’m so hungry.”

Though, he wouldn’t let you indulge, kept your lips from his vein as he smiled, brushing your hair away from your face. “Not yet, sweetheart. Be patient.”

You were buzzing, vibrating under your skin with anticipation, and if it wasn’t for Dazai’s strong grip on your arm, you would’ve lunged after one of the passersby. The scent of him so near to you drove you to the brink of insanity. Yet, he refused to let you so much as kiss his dark vein, keeping you at a distance as he waited for a carriage.

Neither of you spoke until you got to his hotel, one of the finest in the city, paid for by the centuries of wealth he had accumulated.

Dazai greeted those who walked out the door like they were old friends, a sideways smile at the man who stood behind the desk. They let him pass with nothing more than cheerful grins, already adoring the beautiful vampire with the sensual air that never seemed to leave him.

“Almost there, my darling,” he whispered under his breath, hushed and sultry. “Then, I promise you can take as much as you want.”

You ached, clutching onto his arm, your lust, hunger, and undying love all hitting you at once. It was like you were drowning in it, swallowed whole by the man that you wanted so deeply, so passionately. You needed him like a mortal needed air, even if you refused to let yourself accept it. 

Dazai shut the door, locked it. You barely had time to register your surroundings, the finest linens and carpets that were draped across the room.

Instead, all you could stare at were his lips—the perfect shape of them, the perfect curve. How soft they appeared in the dark light of the evening, and how much you wanted to kiss them.

One time.

That would be all. It would be enough to get him out of your system, and then you’d never have to see him again.

With a speed that would have been imperceptible to a human, Dazai was upon you, his hands on your jaw tightly as he backed you into a wall, kissing you with every ounce of passion within him. His nails drew blood from your cheeks, seeping between the cracks in his fingers as you kissed him so hard that his lips bruised.

You weren’t sure what to do with your hands, so you touched him all over, his jaw, his shoulders, the lean expanse of his chest. He pressed himself closer, and you could feel him straining against his pants, the bulge so prominent that it had only been hidden by his coat before.

“Do you understand what you do to me? How badly I crave you?” He was kissing you over and over, across your jaw, down your neck, licking a long stripe from your ear to your collarbone before nuzzling his nose just below your ear. “Let me,” he said, digging his nails into your hips as he held you against the wall. “Fuck. I need to taste you.”

“No,” you said, but it was weak, and you were slowly falling apart under him. “No, Osamu.”

“I’ve stopped myself so many times.” He pressed open-mouthed kisses against your neck, and you could feel his fangs slip out, so smooth and white. “The blood of a fallen angel, stripped of her grace by the man she loves so dearly. Such a beautiful resolution to this show you’re putting on.”

You were hot from the tips of your toes all the way to your forehead, and though Dazai didn’t bite you, you were too close to giving in, to letting him take from every part of you.

Before he could act on his urges, you gripped his hair, yanked him away from your neck and sank your teeth into his own vein instead.

Dazai let out a moan as his blood flooded into your mouth, his fingers tracing your spine. As you drank, your grip on Dazai slackened, before you were falling, losing yourself in him.

You were so dazed from the blood, you weren’t sure when you moved, when he had gotten you across the room into his lap. He set you on his thigh, his hands guiding your hips along the lean muscles there, dragging your clit along the ridges of his slacks.

“‘samu,” you gasped into his mouth, aching with need and want and everything in between. His pupils had dilated, eyes darkening with mischief as he bumped his leg against you once more, sending a jolt through you that had you tearing at his skin, spilling more blood into your mouth. “I shouldn’t want you.” Your breath caught. “I hate you.”

“I love you.” He said just as quickly, and smiled, petting your hair as you latched onto his vein, guiding your hips so you were riding his thigh. The friction was just enough for you to need more, for your arousal to seep through your panties, the cloth already wet. “Take what you need from me. Everything.”

You tore yourself away from his throat and kissed him, letting him taste his own blood as you pressed one of his hands to your breast.

His eyes flashed, and he cupped the outside of your dress, tearing right down the middle of the garment to expose your chest. Dazai kissed down your clavicle, swirling his tongue around the place where your heart no longer beat, before sucking your nipple into his mouth.

You moaned, throwing your head back while Dazai kissed you, curling his tongue in a practiced manner—he’d always known you from the inside out.

“Such beautiful noises,” he muttered, the words from his lips vibrating against your breast. “It makes me sick to know that another man has heard you like this. That someone can think their devotion to you is even a fraction of everything I’ve ever felt about you.”

Tears sprung to your eyes, bloody and red as Dazai rocked you against his thigh, pressed your aching cunt into his strong muscle. “Your love for me is unhealthy. It’s twisted.”

“I may not love you in the way that you want, but to the very deepest part of your soul, you know that I love you the way you need.” Dazai’s eyes were blown wide with lust, the irises a shade so dark they were nearly black. He looked every bit the true predator that he was, the absolute devil that had been put on this earth to destroy.

You threaded your fingers through his hair as Dazai kissed between your breasts, right below your neck, worshiping every bit of your body. “You tear me to pieces, Osamu.”

“Doesn’t matter. Every last piece of you belongs to me,” he said, bouncing his thigh just enough that you were gasping, tearing his skin as your clit caught on the fabric between you.

You were close, so close to your release, and you’d nearly forgotten how easily Dazai could make a mess of you.

“Your little human pet doesn’t take care of you, does he?” Dazai asked, cupping the soft skin of your breast, squeezing delicately before flicking the nipple with his thumb. “Didn’t even get to put my mouth on that pretty pussy and you’ve already ruined my pants.”

You flushed, hot as you sped the strokes of your hip, your grip so tight that your nails had claimed a home in Dazai’s bicep. The breaths that left your lips were so ragged it was almost shameful, that so little had happened, and you were already his for the taking.

“Osamu,” you said, the word barely a sound at all. “Osamu.”

“I know.” He shifted his head to reveal the bite mark that hadn’t quite healed, the vein that you hadn’t quite finished drinking from. “You need to cum so bad, don’t you, sweetheart? Haven’t been fucked properly since you left me.” Dazai smiled, dropping your head to his neck so you could smell his sweet aroma once more, could indulge in the taste of him. “My beautiful girl sleeps in another man’s bed every night, and he can’t even take care of her.”

You contemplated arguing, telling him that it wasn’t true, that Atsushi had always pleased you, had always made sure that your own pleasure came before his. But it was nothing compared to Dazai, nothing compared to the bright lights that flashed behind your eyes as he touched you, the gates of heaven opening up for two monsters that didn’t deserve something so holy.

“I’m so close,” you said, your teeth just barely breaking his skin. “Please, Osamu.”

“You don’t know how badly I want you right now. How much I missed sinking into you, feeling you so tight around me.” Dazai gripped your own thighs harder, his voice raspy and hoarse. “I promised you I wouldn’t kill him, but, god, I want to.”

You felt the sharp snap of something within you, and you bit down hard on Dazai’s neck, his sweet blood too much when it was mixed with the orgasm that hit you all at once. There was a fog in your mind, nothing there besides his name, his voice, his scent, and you started to wonder why you’d ever wanted anyone but him.

How much you wanted to love him, how badly you craved to indulge in it had, really, never been the question. You’d always been painfully in love with Osamu Dazai, hadn’t you? — and you were certain it had started the moment you met him, decades ago.

Tears fell down your lashes, and Dazai brushed them away, pulled you tight in his arms as you finally unlatch from his skin. All over, you buzzed from the feeling that only his blood could make you feel.

Dazai held you so close, shielding you from something you couldn’t discern, and you felt so lost, so confused, dazed from the man who wasn’t quite yours, but who had never belonged to anyone else.

He kissed your forehead and your cheeks with a gentleness you’d forgotten he was capable of. Without straining a muscle, he carried you across the room, his fingers leaving tiny little marks on your skin. Still, the sadness, the guilt wouldn’t leave you, your eyes burning with perplexity, even through the haze that his blood always induced in you.

“I only have one coffin, my love, and the room isn’t sun-proofed,” Dazai said, leading into the other room to open the coffin he’d made a bed.

“samu, I need to go home.” Your eyes fluttered shut as you yawned, dropping your head on his shoulder. “I can’t stay here with you.”

“There’s no one there.” Dazai’s fingers were gentle as they carded through your hair, scratched at your scalp. “And it’s not safe. The sun is about to rise.”

“I need to leave.”

You drew back to look at his face, surprised by the raw emotion that you saw there. For once, he seemed desperate, wanting to keep you near him, the heart that he held in the palm of his hand, even if you hadn’t realized it until now.

“Please,” he said, stroking your cheek gently. “I want you here.”

The hazy fog still lingered. It was no use trying to rationalize your thoughts. There was no reason to try and wash yourself of your sins, not when you’d already done something that you wouldn’t forgive yourself for after. “This can’t happen again. I won’t let it happen again.”

Dazai climbed into the coffin and held out a hand, glowing in the moonlight, a creature of the night straight from the stories that you’d heard as a child. “We’ll see if that stands true tomorrow.”

PART IV

tag list: @cerberels @thateldribitch @hauntedsol @hannzai @cha0thicpisces @kissesmellow21 @sukiischaotic @hinata7346 @scinclaitnoir @mimimimiminanana @yolkyuyi @xxoolii @zephoncocaine @sookisaurus @angelsdemonsandhumans @kouyoumarryme @avocate-assia-dazai @mort-froggoo @fyodorisbbg @iluv-ace@kemis-world @pe4rl-diver @lacunaanonymoused @wilbur-the-hottie @zbriia

[maxzinn]

What bothers me after all this drama is that those users that made the posts calling out the type of fics they were bothered with, didnt actually include like a list of those fics (probably to avoid an entire purge and hatred), and everyone in the comments of those posts just suddenly at a flip of a switch, all could only think about one. single. story...and that was the 2 part fic from the now deactivated account.

So for a fic which diverges from canon by having Aventurine NOT go through the entire rollercoaster of drama and be given a chance at a normal life, everyone and their mother jumped to bully the writer. Please, gimme a break, he could've still become the same charismatic gambler we all know and love, just he would've had an oh idk- a little support system given by the person that got him out of a much crappy life? Seriously, how many fics AREN'T out there which diverge at one point from canon?! Or, even better, ignore the canon completely and they are their own thing! HOW MANY- A LOT OF THEM ARE!

It's like they were bothered that there can be a "what if Aventurine was saved before he went through the rest of that hell?", as if his canon story is the only thing that matters and shouldn't be changed at all - THE MAN IS IN SHAMBLES. HE WANTED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM LIFE. And I cant be the only one who doesnt believe that him, as he grow up, didn't wish for someone to come to his aid, to take him out of there, but the more time passed, the more hope he lost and he just "well, guess I'll do this on my own". He. Has. No. One. To. Talk. To. Without. Him. Hidding. Behind. The. Persona. He. Created. No one.

Anon you have said exactly everything that I wanted to hear ‼️

(They all started this mess so I’m not gonna stop till I get my point straight across their faces)

These people CANNOT tell me that Aventurine didn’t want to be saved. They CANNOT tell me he didn’t hope for a helping hand throughout this whole hell.

The IPC had failed him and his race from the very beginning when they failed to protect Sigonia IV and the Avgins from the Katicans, and yet I still see people saying that creating a fic where he was saved is disregarding his effort in surviving like pls- my girl… he wanted to DIE to be with his family again and he’s literally in the clutches of the very same company that FAILED him and his kind. His life is literally in their hands and NO ONE would ever want to be at the mercy of the very same people who failed you.

He’s tired. He thinks so lowly of himself. He thinks he has no worth. He has no self-esteem.

All of that could’ve been avoided if someone had helped him, way before his neck was branded by the slave mark, or even during the time he was enslaved.

Like you said, there are already tons of fics that diverts from the canon story of the character into something that is almost disregarding it, so why is that an issue now?

We all love him the way he is, but don’t you think it’s also insensitive to say that when he himself hated the process or events that transpired to become what he is now?

I give him credit for his hardwork and efforts for staying alive and getting past the hell, but that cost him EVERYTHING. He survived, but he thinks so lowly of himself. He still think he’s only worth 60 tanbas. He didn’t refute Ratio and Sparkle’s insult. He throws his own body on every gamble because he thinks that’s his only worth… and now a simple harmless fic that aimed to provide him a normal life free from that tragedy was frowned upon by everyone just because the reader “bought him as a slave”.

[ateez-himari]

BEHIND THE CURTAINS: TOKYO

A singular netizens airs out a year old situation, forcing the truth out of the shadows

July 24, 2024 (12:29PM)

One comment under the post ATEEZ's youngest made for member San's birthday sparked delayed reactions throughout social media platforms as detective netizens who had made it their mission to debunk the truth behind this statement have just finished placing the pieces together. KQ ENTERTAINMENT found itself forced to release an official statement concerning the situation in order to avoid the spread of false rumors which were rapidly getting out of hand. The user that began it all said this:

'Everyone this is the man who woke up every single night to check Hima was still breathing after she nearly died on the 'Break The Wall' tour, every single night at the same time he set an alarm. He had nightmares about it and never told her, he just needed to fall asleep holding her hand in the hotel rooms. He's like her guardian angel'

The information was leaked last year through workers of the venue who were allegedly present during the group's 'The Fellowship: Break The Wall' second day in Tokyo for an encore, disclosing that during the interlude which was extended due to what many believed to be a technical difficulty, nearly all staff teams were making desperate attempts at saving her life. At the time many believed this to be nothing more than an attention seeking lie as those were becoming rather common in the industry, and the story was rapidly forgotten thanks to the company's damage control - which we now know was at the vocalist's request.

The statement containing the young woman's side of the story confirmed this to have been truthful as she recalled that during this time despite there being large gaps between tour dates, there was still much work going on behind the scenes which built up fatigue. According to her, physical complications due to illness at the time of the concert simply made matters much worse to the point of going into cardiac arrest, at which point staff teams were ordered to come immediately no matter their positions.

Having been informed that the youngest was unwell at the time attendees did not question the circumstances behind her sitting down throughout the remaining performances, though they noticed the tears in the member's eyes when taking a break for the ment. In a live later that day following the widespread of this news, the captain mentioned feeling as though the responsibility was his own due to having the final say on whether she would perform that day, claiming that had he paid more attention this never would have happened.

Members have been relatively open about consistently requiring oxygen masks during concerts due to the physical strain of extreme effort, which is what he believed was happening when she was hooked up to one in the changing room. Unfortunately that could not have been further from the truth and the constant reassurance from his youngest saying she was only slightly tired made him give in, leading to what very well could have been a life changing tragedy. Atiny reassured him that this was in no way his fault, although the traumatic impact this left behind was very visible in the way tears welled up in the captain's eyes having to recall such an event along with the tightness of the hug that followed when the woman in question entered the room to retrieve a book.

While they were already careful when it came to their artists' health, it was noticed by those looking into the topic that ever since that day, the company has been taking greater care to look after them which in parts included hiring a much larger team of health professionals. We can only wish the idols well moving forward and we ask that fans stop inquiring about the situation as this is still clearly very fresh in the group's memory. In the future please refrain from looking into situations such as these that have not been addressed as they are likely things the members wish to keep private.

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[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

@thehaikuman here it is! Thank you again for agreeing to help me :]

All of what I translated so far under the cut

Bold text means I'm not sure of the word(s) I used (except for the 'bald', that one is on purpose bc it's funnier that way)

Asterisks mean it's an alternative; that I'm not sure between two translations

Slashes mean I don't know what to put, so I didn't put anything (for now)

01:17 – At last, after nearly 6 months of absence, they finally pull their fingers out

[NEWS: Those slacker from Re: Take are finally back · Diabl0x9: He’s finally back on OnlyFans]

01:21 – nobody believed in it anymore!

[NEWS: Those slacker from Re: Take are finally back · Diabl0x9: He’s finally back on OnlyFans]

01:22 – The big fat worm here, that’s me – Takemichi Hanagaki

[NEWS: JDGate: The corpse of the ex-body double of the man with the Hawaiian shirt found in a canal (reference to one of the most famous French youtuber, ‘Joueur du Grenier’ (‘player from the attic’) also known as ‘JDG’]

01:26 – 26, single, and invisible like air

01:29 – Now for the news,

[NEWS: St Valentine: if you want to spend the day with Leo TechMaker, does Leo ‘Take my heart’?]

01:31 – a huge ‘Serves you right!’ for the Tachibana family

01:32 – their daughter Hinata got fucked over really good as they say

[NEWS: “Do we hear me right in the sound controls? In how long are we live? Oh yes, I’d like a bit of water”, Emmanuel Macron’s declaration shocks the opposition]

01:34 – their daughter Hinata got fucked over really good as they say

[A NON-TACHIBANAL CASE: the chick is dead.]

01:36 – but it’s okay, at least no man died, it was a woman

[NEWS: The case of Feldup fell down: How did the young man trip up on his bathroom rug? (Feldup is a French youtuber)]

01:38 – we’re not going to make a big deal out of it.

01:39 – –Ah, wait!

[NEWS: Billy, the end of his carrier: Was this Arab truly so determined? (play of word bc his channel name can be translated as ‘DeterminedArab’)]

01:40 – someone tells me through the earpiece that her little brother, who’s a man, is dead

[THE COUNTRY GRIEVING: A man died]

01:44 – In this case, it’s a tragedy – a national tragedy, the whole country is shaken

01:47 – We are truly distraught, we wish good luck to the Tachibana family

[ALERT: Takemichi elected the most beautiful ass of the year according to the last survey of IFOP (French Institute of Public Opinion(that’s a real institute))]

01:49 – – but also good riddance.

[ALERT: Re:Take followers elected best community in the world]

01:50 – (announcer voice) It was misogy-news!

X

01:51 – I feel deeply saddened.

01:53 – Is it because I watch right-wing news

[(the tv news was a parody of a real French tv news)]

01:54 – or because the only woman I’ve ever loved just got squashed in a wall by a 36-tons truck in a very graphic way?

01:59 – Where am I going? Where am I running-ing? Where is it leading me-ing?

02:01 – I’m really in a standstill. If only someone could push me to–

02:05 – I instantly regret choosing those words!

X

02:09 – Unbelievable. I’m not dead.

02:11 – Fuck it, what’s this look? I changed my mind actually I wanna die!

02:14 – Takemichi, you get your ass moving? –Ah? Yeah! Coming!

02:17 – If I understand correctly, I time jumped

02:19 – It’s 2005, 12 years into the past

02:20 – I’ll use the lotto numbers and become rich!

02:23 – No, I don’t have the lotto numbers

02:24 – Well scratch that. What striking thing happened in 2005?

02:32 – Right, make a fortune is out. But no big deal, everything was going well in 2005, I was the neighborhood king!

X

02:35 – You’re the neighborhood little bitch!

02:38 – So that’s what we call ‘selective memory’…

02:39 – Don’t make this face, Takemichi. It’s going to be okay.

02:42 – Thanks you, Akkun.

02:43 – I swear, you’re unique dude, there’s only one like you

02:45 – Stop it, you don’t mean it

02:47 – I do, I swear. You didn’t listen to what that guy said? You’re…

02:49 – The neighborhood little bitch!

02:52 – Takemichi, come back! We’re going to the cybercafe to pay a huge amount of money to spend 5 minutes on the Internet!

02:56 – What great times to live in!

X

02:58 – What shitty times. Except for the games and movies which came out this year

03:00 – Not kidding, I’m talking directly to the viewers: go check all the crazy stuffs that came out between 2004 and 2005. Even so –

03:05 – What shitty times.

03:06 – I should still take advantage of the situation to go see Hinata

03:09 – Hi, Takemichi. What’s wrong? You don’t look well.

03:11 – Forget it, Hinata. I think today is the worst day of my life

03:14 – You got hurt? Come here, I’ll kiss it all better.

03:17 – I have to save this girl, marry her, succeed my studies and buy a Honda

03:22 – Fuck, I’m so happy! I’m really starting to understand why my therapist told me I’m bipolar–

03:25 – And so it makes me sad.

X

03:26 – I feel deeply sad. I feel like my life is going nowhere

03:30 – Anyway, it was really nice to have offered to listen to me!

03:33 – I didn’t offer anything. I was swinging, you racketeered me ten bucks and you demanded that I listen to you or be subject to consequences

03:38 – You’re really a nice guy, Naoto.

03:39 – Leave me alone, please

03:41 – Listen closely, I have to tell you something. You’re about to die.

03:43 – No! Wait! I listened to you like you requested even if it was really fucking boring!

03:47 – I don’t have any money left but if you want I have a Chelsea bun crushed in my bag!

03:49 – That’s not what I meant to say!

03:51 – Wait, a Chelsea bun? Nobody eat Chelsea bun

03:53 – And what do you mean ‘fucking boring’?!

03:55 – Anyway.

03:56 – You’re Hinata’s little brother, right? In twelve years, your sister and yourself will be targeted by a gang and unfortunately, you both die

04:02 – That’s terrible!

04:03 – I know. And you believed me very easily.

04:05 – Naoto. You have to become a police officer, you’ll be capable of protecting your sister that way.

04:08 – Okay!

04:09 – You’re really believing me very easily

04:11 – Well then, make the most of it to become rich. Think about investing all your money in–

04:15 – Wait. Come closer. Invest all your money in *caws makes it impossible to hear what is being said*

04:18 – Ok, Takemichi.

04:19 – Great! Good luck, Naoto

X

04:22 – Takemichi. I did all of what you told me. Unfortunately, Hinata didn’t survive

04:25 – But I did it, I officially work for the police and we’re going to be able to work together to save my sister!

04:28 – That’s great news!

04:30 – And by the way, ‘investing all I have in sporks’? really?!

04:34 – You couldn’t have told me to buy BitCoin?!

04:35 – No, it pollutes

04:36 – Do you really want to become a megalomaniac multimillionaire?

04:38 – Yes.

04:39 – Who owns a luxury cars company?

04:40 – Yes!

04:41 – A space rockets company?!

04:42 – YES!

04:43 – I get it. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what BitCoin was…

X

04:45 – Mission: save Hinata

04:46 – Let’s recap the situation:

04:47 – The entire city is under the influence of the Tokyo Manji kai,

04:49 – a sprawling mafia whose bosses have eyes everywhere

04:51 – Don’t take it in the literal sense,

04:53 – they both only have two eyes.

04:54 – And by ‘them both’ I mean those two:

04:56 – His name is Manjiro Sano, also known under the name ‘Mikey’

04:58 – as for him, it’s Tetta Kisaki.

05:00 – Between us we’ll call him ‘fucking bastard, shitty low-down dog’

05:03 – Excuse me for that. I watched the rest of the series, and you’re going to understand –

05:05 – he’s a fucking bastard. – If you say so

05:06 – Before I explain my plan, do you have any question?

05:08 – I do.

05:09 – First, I love your skin texture, may you give me the name of your day cream?

05:12 – And, thennnnnnn

05:14 – How did you succeed to take pictures this close to them, no jokes?

05:16 – [Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:20 – I can see you.

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:21 – Ninja!

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:25 – I can see you!

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:31 – I can see you!

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:40 – I can see you.

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:45 – Dude, get the hell out of my house, for real.

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:46 – (muffled) Ninja!

[Reference to a running gag of the comedic duo ‘Palmashow’]

05:47 – I have my methods.

05:48 – Takemichi. You have to prevent Tetta Kisaki from corrupting the Tokyo Manji kai.

05:52 – You have to prevent him from meeting Mikey, no matter the cost.

05:54 – It’s because of

05:55 – – this fucking bastard –

05:56 – of Kisaki if the gang became that violent nowadays

05:58 – But how could I recognize him?

05:59 – Who is that, Kisaki?

06:00 – Don’t worry about it, you can’t miss him, you can smell the bastard at 20 miles

06:03 – Okay. We’ll do it, Naoto.

06:05 – We will save Hinata!

06:07 – See you 12 years ago!

06:09 – (whining) Oh no, damn it! My punchline was great, why isn’t it working?

06:12 – Your hands are really soft. Is it the same cream you use for your face?

06:15 – It was already awkward, you just made it worse

06:16 – Perhaps if you tighten your grip a bit more…

06:19 – Ouch! I say ‘a bit more’, you’re truly a jerk!

X

06:20 – (crowd shouting in the background)

06:21 – (crowd shouting in the background)

What did you sAY

06:23 – (crow shouting in the background)

You want me to smash your fACE IN?

06:24 – (crow shouting in the background)

You’re nuts!

Takemichi: oh, no… It looks like it’s gonna be a very long day…

06:27 – 🎶Takemitchi gets his ass beat all the time🎶

06:30 – 🎶It’s truly not pleasant🎶

06:33 – Kiyomasa: Can’t hear your bigmouth anymore, UH?

06:34 – 🎶Is this girl worth loosing one’s teeth?🎶

06:37 – 🎶Frankly, I would have scram a long time ago🎶

X

06:41 – So? Not so clever now, eh?

06:43 – In my opinion, you’re the one who’s not clever

06:44 – Wh– No, it’s him!

06:45 – Over there… There!

06:50 – Hi

06:53 – [Mikey

“Hi.”]

06:54 – What’s your name?

06:55 – Takemichi

06:56 – You sure have a good nerve, Takemibitch

06:58 – If you don’t laugh I’ll turn your mother into an NFT

06:59 – (forced laughter)

07:00 – Did someone already tell you you were the (both:) neighborhood little bitch?

07:03 – Yeah, yeah, I know

07:04 – Come with me, we’re going to do real Japanese thugs’ stuffs

X

07:06 – *ding-ding*

07:08 – You see it, all the violence? That’s what the real hood is about

07:11 – Wow, I’m bowled over by it (sarcasm)

07:12 – (reference to a French TV station)

(stereotypical voice-over) To go for a ride by the bank of a river

07:15 – (stereotypical voice-over) talking about friendship, wind in the hair

07:17 – (stereotypical voice-over) while admiring a setting-sun...

07:18 – (stereotypical voice-over) A real atmosphere of TERROR in the land of the raising sun.

07:22 – You know Takemiwhine, I respect you a lot

07:23 – (not believing it) Oh really?

07:24 – You’re someone admirable

07:25 – (still not believing it) Yeah?

07:26 – You’re like a brother to me

07:27 – uh-huh

07:28 – And in the gang, we brothers love each other very muchhhhhhhh

07:31 – (starting to get fearful) And what does that mean?

07:32 – Take out your takemidick

07:34 – eh?

07:35 – nooOOOOoooOOOOOOO

X

07:36 – It’s all good, Naoto! I did it!

07:37 – That’s great! So it’s over?

07:39 – Yeah, I did it, I screwed your sister!

07:41 – eh?

07:42 – You saved my sister

07:44 – I- s-

07:45 – saved.

07:46 – Yeah. Yeahyeahyeah

07:47 – I, I, I saved her. I saved her all properly.

07:51 – But I forgot my keys back there

07:52 – You can’t forget an object in a time travel!

07:53 – oh boy, I’m going to miss my time jump– (play of word with ‘sauter’=jump, screw. ‘I’m going to miss [the opportunity of] screwing your sister)

07:55 – [second take, let’s try again]

07:56 – Takemichi, you’re back?

07:57 – Yes. And I have bad news.

07:59 – First, Hinata is dead, that didn’t change

08:01 – And second, my keys are, oh my! completely lost (chuckles)

08:03 – True. Hinata’s still dead

08:05 – We don’t have the choice, we’re going to investigate

08:06 – Do you recognize him?

08:07 – Is that Akkun? What a huge pompadour

08:09 – Puberty doesn’t help everyone

X

08:11 – Oh fuck, it’s worse than on the picture I haven’t been that disappointed since my last Tinder date

08:13 – Excuse me?

08:14 – It’s not to me you own apologies.

08:16 – You own apologies to yourself to have inflicted this look on you

08:18 – excuse me?

08:19 – STOP apologizing all the time, it’s tiring

08:21 – Why are we on the roof?

08:22 – I’m sorry Takemichi.

08:26 – –I’m taking back what I said, apologize.

08:23 – Would you stop apologizing, dammit?!

08:25 – I’m the one who pushed you under the train

08:27 – It’s because of this Tetta Kisaki bastard. He forced me to do it

08:30 – What? He threatened your family?!

08:31 – Well there’s that…

08:32 – And he handed me a huge check

08:33 – I thought we were friends!

08:35 – Yeah, friends among other things…

08:37 – but you didn’t call often, the check was really big

08:39 – But since you busted me, I have remorse now

08:40 (sad music starts to play)

08:41 – Takemichi, I always loved my friends as if they were my brothers

08:43 – (sad music stops) ‘as if they were my brothers’ actual brothers, or…?

08:45 – (naive) like brothers.

08:46 – Whew.

08:47 – Do you want me to yell out my love for you?

08:49 – Yell out your love for me?

08:50 – Yeah.

08:51 – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

08:54 – OH MY GOD

08:57 – MY CAR (starts crying)

X

09:00 – I think the investigation is going...

09:01 – -very fast?

09:02 – Not at all. I don’t know how you work things out. You’re the most incompetent man that I’ve never seen

09:04 – yipee…

09:05 – Okay, since visibly I’m talking to Einstein, I’ll explain everything to you again

09:08 – Mikey is being manipulated since Draken’s death

09:10 – He was the only one who succeeded to contain Mikey’s anger

09:12 – So, to avoid the corruption of the Tokyo Manji kai, you have to…

09:15 – sleep with your sister!

09:16 – There it goes…

09:17 – –what you shouldn’t be saying. Why?

09:19 – Well I don’t know

09:20 – When I, I do know

09:21 – I love Pierre Niney in ‘La Flamme’ [French reference. French actor & French comedic series – one of his line is “when I, I do know”]

09:22 – Let’s go, Takemichi! You have to go save Draken!

09:24 – Screw Draken!

09:25 – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

09:28 – No.

09:29 – You’re not a fun person.

09:30 – If my intel is exact, exactly 12 years ago from now, Mikey and Draken got into a fight

09:35 – That’s probably what caused the split of the Tokyo Manji kai and soon after: Draken’s death

09:39 – Your mission if you accept it

09:40 – – and you don’t have any other choice –

09:41 – [gasp]

09:42 – It’s to go do everything you have to to avoid this dispute

09:43 – A street fight between two gang members, how does it look like?

X

09:46 – [western soundtrack] Well, well, well, isn’t it the little runt?

09:49 – It doesn’t smell too much like feet when you’re 110 centimeters tall?

09:51 – You speak a lot, tall string bean

09:52 – I spoke to your girl, it seems the dragon on your temple is to compensate for the one you don’t have in your pants?

09:56 – thEy’rE BLoWing a fUsE

09:58 – How violent! Someone call the police!

10:00 – Guys! Stop!

10:02 – Have you look at yourselves, really?

10:03 – You are slaves of a system where people see each other without looking at each other,

10:06 – hear each other without listening to each other!

10:07 – There’s only war and conflict. Always war!

10:10 – Couldn’t we just stop to fight each other for five minutes?!!

10:12 – Woaw, Takemichi, what you just said that’s…

10:15 – That’s so boring I forgot what we were yelling at each other

10:17 – Real. Let’s go drink a bier while smoking a good colombian cigarro

10:20 – We’re minors, dude

10:21 – Real. Let’s go drink a caprisun and eat cotton candy at the amusement park

10:24 – We’re in the hood, bro.

X

10:25 – I’m cold, Takemichi

10:26 – ah okay, without any transition

10:28 – Listen. I believe it’s the right time.

10:29 – If you have things to tell me, things to confess…

10:31 – Whatever you have in your heart, I’m ready to hear it

10:33 – Well, everybody insinuates you’re my girlfriend since the start, including in front of you, so… That’s not really a secret, is it?

10:38 – We all have secrets, Takemichi

10:39 – Yes, but that one is not one

10:41 – Kiss me.

10:42 – Oh my god, that’s real, that’s happening!

10:43 – And Naoto is only a little brat who can’t cockblock me!

10:45 – This time I’m going to s–

10:46 – [ringtone. The song is called ‘Time Time’ ;p]

10:48 – Hello?!

10:49 – [Naoto:] –ave. [Takemichi:] What?

10:50 – You’re going to sAVE her.

10:51 – Naoto, you’re calling me through time and space now?!!?!

10:52 – When it’s my sister we’re talking about, I don’t joke around at all, dude

10:54 – Alright…Saving Draken, not touching your sister

10:57 – THANK YOU.

10:58 – [jinggle] Particularly since she’s super minor

X

11:00 – Back to the mission, we’re going to save Draken!

11:02 – –Stab Draken.

11:03 – Dude, you already told me on the phone!

11:04 – Yeah? Well I say it again,

11:05 – in case an eventual watcher would want to make the intrigue of an anime in which he’s the protagonist going

11:09 – Uh… You’re asking yourself some really meta-physic questions, bro

11:11 – Yeah, I have anxiety disorders, I sleep bad at night, my hamster is sick, his name is Crumbs

11:15 – Okay, I have to follow those guys without getting caught

11:17 – Where I am, I’m literally undetectable

11:18 – All I have to do is remain discreet –

11:20 – Guys, I found a dude behind the poleeee

11:21 – Wuahhahahha

X

11:22 – Shitty pole, shitty Draken, everything’s shitty, I’m tired of this shitty life!

11:27 – Takemichi, is it you?

11:28 – Shitty Hinata!

11:29 – I love you, Takemichi

11:30 – Lovely Hinata.

11:31 – I saw what those boys did to you, it’s terrible

11:33 – I’m weak, Hinata…

11:34 – Takemichi, you know…

11:36 – It doesn’t matter if you’re not like Mikey and Draken

11:38 – True, they are…

11:40 – A lot more handsome, strong, smart, powerful, charismatic

11:42 – Great.

11:43 – Yeah, great, too

11:44 – Wondrous!

11:46 – It’s ‘wonderful’, dummie. And they are too, but you see Takemichi, the one I chose is you.

11:50 – I have a kink on ugly people.

11:51 – Ah.

11:52 – Huge victims, bleach blond guys who whine all the time, tied-up in the mud like big losers! I like that a lot!

11:57 – Uh… thanks a lot

11:58 – Really, what a loser.

11:59 – [Takemichi chuckles bitterly] What a sucker! [Takemichi: great!]

12:00 – What a failure [Takemichi: it’s getting long] Your mom have to regret you so much!

12:02 – Stop pushing it, shut up!

X

12:04 – Draken, beware those guys want to kill you!

12:06 – Is that so? They aren’t here to play Uno?

12:07 – What make you think that??

12:08 – The fact there’s fifty of them?

12:09 – the baseball bats?

12:10 – or the fact they already beat the shit out of me, ASSHOLE?!!??!?

12:12 – You just all collectively decided to bust my balls today or what?!!

12:14 – Don’t worry, I’m here!

12:16 – [Mikey

“Nobody has to worry, he’s here.”]

12:17 – And above all, I have a plan!

12:19 – [Mikey

“And above all, he has a plan.”]

12:20 – So you’re Mikey

12:21 – [tries to kick Hanma’s face, fails]

12:23 – OK, I don’t have a plan anymore!

12:24 – [Takemichi] Your plan was just to kick him in the jaw?!!?!

12:26 – [Mikey] I’m a lil vandal from the neighborhood, not a military strategist

12:28 – [Toman] Don’t worry, guys!

12:31 – [Takemichi] Oh wow! The Tokyo Manji kai is entirely here!

12:35 – Uh… And so? What do we do?

12:37 – [Mikey] Well I don’t know. Uh... There are rules to start? Or a turn of phrase that I could use to start this confrontation?

12:44 – Fuck ‘em up!!!

12:45 – Thanks, I’ll remember it!

X

12:49 – Wait I have another plan to stop this massacre!

12:51 – I’m going to show them my powers

12:54 – Come here, you

12:55 – Uh, what the fuck are you doing, let me go!

12:56 – Shhh, relax yourself, your eyelids are heavy

12:59 – What the fuck is he doing?

13:00 – Think of a sound that soothes you like…

13:01 – A fork scratching against a plate!

13:03 – It doesn’t relax me at all, I want to punch someone

13:05 – [Draken:] Mikey for the fiftieth time this week, you are not a hypnotist!

13:08 – Wait, I’m sure he’s thinking of the number 5!

13:10 – That’s mentalism, not hypnotism!

13:12 – Yeah, and sorry but I was thinking of the number 7

13:13 – Shit.

X

13:14 – I have to find Draken!

13:15 – I know my therapist tells me I’m paranoiac but I’m convinced that a protagonist from a manga published in the weekly shonen jump magazine is observing me.

13:21 – And so I’m going to announce out loud what I just did.

13:23 – I stabbed Draken~

13:25 – DRAKENNNN!!!!

X

13:27 – Well frankly I’m fine

13:28 – You must be joking, there was 2 litters of blood on the ground

13:30 – Well if there’s 2 out it leaves 3 inside

13:32 – It’s… Factually correct

13:34 – It’s more than enough to vascularize my two enormous balls

13:35 – …

13:37 – Okay.

13:38 – And when will you be able to walk again?

13:40 – Well here, right now

13:41 – Ah, great

13:42 – And you know what, the guy may have stabbed me in the stomach but my digestive system is still intact, watch this-

13:46 – Draken!

13:47 – One second- – Draken!

X

13:48 – Takemichi, you saved Draken!?

13:49 – I don’t know if that’s exactly like that I’d say it but–

13:52 – YOU SCREWED DRAKEN?!!???!

13:53 – That’s not what I meant!

13:55 – Either way, I have good news for you, Takemichi

13:56 – Hinata!

13:57 – Takemichi!

13:58 – Enjoy it! [whisper:] It’s not going to last

13:59 – What?

14:00 – Let’s go, it’s time for the date! Have a nice evening!

14:01 – [whispering] It’s going to be short [Hinata:] What?

X

14:02 – This date is so romantic

14:04 – I love being left to gather dust for thirty minutes alone in a car

14:07 – Well… I’m going to put some music…

[the soundtrack is a famous short French song where children ask their father to push on the ‘mushroom’/throttle pedal if he’s a ‘champion’]

14:14 – [GAME!]

14:16 – Hinata, NO!

14:17 – Quick, get out of here!

14:18 – I don’t get out of here before the release of What The Cut 38! [a series of videos well-known and legendary of French Youtube. Stopped years ago after episode 37. Some people are still asking for more despite the creator’s refusal]

14:20 – Hinata, you can’t reasonably stay in an ablaze car for eternity!

14:24 – Well if that’s the case, not before Michel Drucker’s death! [well-known French TV presenter. Has been doing his job for years, still isn’t retiring. French equivalent of Elisabeth II (until she died at least)]

14:25 – Be realistic, it’s never going to happen!

14:28 – He’s almost 80 years old! Maybe at the moment people are watching this video he’s already–

14:30 – Shh, shh, shh. Listen to me closely

14:32 – You speak ill of whoever you want, but not my Mich-Mich, ‘kay?

X

14:34 – [bored voice-over] We today weep for Hinata Tachibana’s death

14:36 – Well, you cry, I personally don’t give a shit

14:38 – [Takemichi thinking] I’m sure there was better picture of her

14:40 – Fate persists, I wonder what may have killed her

14:42 – Well the truck that charged into her, isn’t that what you told me?

14:45 – Ah, yeah, yeah, that, the truck… [the joke is that he choked her in the car for speaking ill of Michel Drucker]

14:46 – If Draken’s death isn’t the problem it means it comes from somewhere

14:49 – No kidding…

14:50 – We don’t have any choice left, we have to get rid of the source of evil, we have to stop of Tetta Kisaki

14:54 – How can we do that?

14:55 – Honestly,/

14:56 – Liar, you’re not even /

14:57 – I’m going to /

14:58 – That’s what is called a pleonasm,

14:59 – /

15:00 – Well, fuck it, I have no more idea, manage by yourself so Kisaki does not go up in the Tokyo Manji kai hierarchy.

X

15:06 – Congrats, Tetta Kisaki, you go up in Tokyo Manji kai hierarchy!

15:07 – [Takemichi] You must be kidding me!!!

15:09 – No, I’m not. For example, there I am: Where do biscuits go to dance?

15:13 – [random Toman member] To the bisco club!

15:14 – [Mikey, whining] That’s not fair, they already knew it…

X

15:15 – Tetta doesn’t seem to be joking around...

15:17 – He’s truly scary

15:18 – Murderous look, eyebrows shaped like devil horns, small earring…

15:21 – Dude’s well-groomed

15:22 – In reality I could go stab him right at this very moment and take care of the problem!

15:25 – [punch & pain sounds]

15:27 – But no! We are going to get into a ‘peace&love’ plot, without violence, without going overboard, without doing anything!

X

15:30 – It’s time to get crazily violent

15:32 – This bastard, Baji left to join Walhalla

15:34 – What? He died a true viking while doing honor to Odin?

15:36 – Not at all, that’s the name of the gang opposite

15:38 – It’s too complicated, there’s too many gang…

15:40 – It’s the series principle: war among gangs

15:41 – You think that’s what we call a ‘Gang Bang’?

15:45 – … Anyway, bring me Baji back

X

15:46 – Hi. Kazutora.

15:47 – What do you mean ‘Kazugotya’? Who’s he? He’s following me? Who’s that ‘Kazu’?

15:50 – Nah, that’s my name

15:51 – Your nana?!!

15:52 – You’re really gonna have to make an effort here, bro

15:53 – Uh, Where are you bringing me to?

15:54 – Don’t worry, we’re going to check on some friends

15:55 – [Chifuyu’s sounds]

15:58 – It… It does check hard

16:00 – Get in.

16:01 – No… Thanks

16:02 – Get in.

16:03 – [Takemichi whining+Chifuyu’s sounds]

16:04 – Do you know the shared trait between a magician with a cold and your mother last night?

16:07 – Both do extraordinary things and shout “Baji! Baji”! (‘magic! magic!’ But pronounced with a cold)

16:10 – [Chifuyu] He’s getting ratio-ed and he’s yelling ‘baji-baji’?

16:13 – Big flop!

16:15 – Baji! Uh… Come back?

16:17 – Don’t wanna

16:18 – Fuck, he’s good at this!

X

16:19 – [Chifuyu crying]

16:20 – Ah! You speak Crybaby too!?

16:21 – I’m not a crybaby, I just got my face bashed in

16:23 – Come on, please, to make me happy…

16:25 – Okay, alright…

16:26 – [(cry)baby language]

16:28 – What?!! I’ve never heard such shocking language!

16:30 – Is that so? And if I told you I had the key to who is hiding behind Valhalla gang?

16:32 – What key, that key?!! (*alternatively: A key? What key?)

16:33 – Ah, you knew it too?

16:34 – Well no, I’m asking you

16:36 – But you just said it

16:37 – Uh?

16:38 – Uh?

16:39 – Ohhhhhhhh!… No, I don��t get it

16:40 – Well, Key-that-key (*key-what-key) in one word it’s…

16:42 – A syntaxical mistake…

16:43 – That’s not– ‘Tetta’

16:44 – You, /

16:45 – Tetta Kisaki!

16:47 – Well, ‘Gesundheit’! What do you want me to say?!!!

X

16:48 – Kisaki is the one leading Walhalla

16:50 – wuHAT. Hell and damnation! I’m staggered!

16:52 – Draken – you are BALD?!!!????!

16:54 – [Draken] It’s him, I don’t have the shadow of a doubt

16:55 – Nor the shadow of a single hair!

X

16:56 – I have no idea on how to stop Tetta Kisaki

16:58 – With handcuffs? – Shut the fuck up

16:59 – By reading him his right…

17:01 – Why did I trust you… Give me a real idea!

17:03 – Okay, mark carefully everything I’m going to tell you

17:04 – On Halloween there’s going to be a real blood bath, a brawl between Walhalla and Toman. It’s the moment where Mikey is going to start to lose it. Because Baji is going to die and Mikey will take out his frustration on Kazutora until he dies. It’s easy: I need to prevent Baji’s death and avoid that Mikey flips out. What do you think?

17:18 – Two out of ten

17:19 – Uh?

17:20 – No, not ‘one’, two out of ten

17:21 – What are you talking about?

17:22 – Well you told me to mark everything you were telling me

17:23 – / Not like that, mark with a pen!

17:26 – Ah, well I can mark your grade on a sheet if you want but I don’t see where it leads us to

17:29 – Rrrrrrahhhhh

17:30 – Send me back!

17:31 – Uh… /

17:32 – Send me back in time!

X

17:33 – Listen, Kazutora, we have to start up anew with a healthy beginning

17:36 – You know, we were all tight-knight back then,

17:38 – and nobody understood why you’re that angry with Mikey

17:40 – That’s not difficult, I killed his brother

17:41 – You see, that’s precisely that nobody understands

17:43 – I killed this dude’s brother, I’m not going to FORGIVE him

17:46 – Do you listen to yourself when you talk? Do-Do you even understand yourself?

17:49 – I kill this dude’s brother and he’s there chill and he has the audacity to look at me in the eyes

17:52 – Mister, is there a medical history of strokes in your family?

17:54 – Time will probably do what it does. But if I kill his mom by then he’s going to hear me!

17:58 – Fuck it, you’re only taking shit!

17:59 – I got it, between us there won’t be any truce!

X

18:01 – Enough with the yakking, fuckers,

18:03 – This clash will be a logic test.

18:05 – Is that okay with you, Kazutora?

18:08 – WHY AM I HITTING YOU??? EXPLAIN!! I HATE YOU!!!

18:11 – Well, then we’ll do that by fighting

18:13 – oh fuck yeah.

18:14 – Hey, Mikey!

18:15 – Remind me: how do you start a clash, already?

18:18 – [inhale] FUCK ‘EM UP!!!!

18:19 – YEAH!!!!

X

18:22 – I warned you, Mikey!

18:23 – You can flee all you want

18:24 – – Kazutora-gotya!

18:25 – You wield the language great, but we’re going to see this

18:27 – BEWARE, HERE IT GOES,

18:28 – MIKEY-KICK!

X

18:30 – Gabriel Chantouin, you are a physic professor at Sorbonne, what do you think about what we just saw?

18:36 – It’s shit

18:38 – [inhale]… Thank you, Gabriel Chantouin–

X

18:40 – Guys! Mikey is exhausted

18:41 – Time to beat the fuck out of him at 60 versus 1 with blunt objects while he has no way of retaliating!

18:47 – Like real men?!!

18:48 – Like real men!!!

18:49 – YEAH!!!

18:50 – No, MIKEYYYYYYY!!!

18:51 – Hold, stop!

18:52 – Wait, zoom?

18:53 – Oh wow

18:54 – WoaOOOAaooAAw

X

18:56 – Gabriel Chantouin, you are still a physic professor at Sorbonne

18:59 – What do you think about the prominence of the posterior of the young man we just saw?

19:03 – Like we said back in my days:

19:04 – it’s an ass for champions.

19:06 – …

19:07 – Thank you, Gabriel Chantouin–

X

19:09 – Baji, you shouldn’t do that alone!

19:11 – What are you talking about?

19:12 – Stop playing innocent,

19:13 – we’ll both say what we think at the same time!

19:15 – One, two, three!

19:17 – Baji: go out with Madison Beer

Chifuyu: Stop Tetta Kisaki!

19:18 – Madison Beer? But, what about Tetta Kisaki?

19:20 – Uh… Tetta Kisaki, yeah, yeah he’s my goal

19:22 – Well, no, not to go out with him, but stop him, I…

19:25 – Fuck.

19:26 – You have a plan of action?

19:27 – Yeah, first step is to type to survive

X

19:29 – AAaaaAAOUCH

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BAJI!

19:31 – WHY DID YOU STAB MY RIB, YOU ASS?

19:33 – THIS IS ALL MIKEY’S FAULT!

19:34 – AND HIS BROTHER!

19:35 – AND THIS ICE CREAM MAN AT THIS SQUARE TWO YEARS AGO

19:37 – WHO GAVE ME A PISTACHIO SUPPLEMENT

19:39 – WHEN I DIDN’T ASK FOR IT!!!

X

19:40 – Hi.

19:41 – It’s the voice-over.

19:42 – I wasn’t there in the previous parody video

19:43 – It feels weird, doesn’t it?

19:44 – Yeah…

19:45 – And now, a brief sum up of episode 21:

19:47 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]

19:48 – Wait, he’s going to kill him at this point

19:49 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]

19:50 – Maybe we should separate them?

19:51 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]

19:52 – So young and so dead!

19:53 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]

19:54 – Why do none of these assholes lift a finger?!!

19:55 – [Mikey machine-guns Kazutora]

19:56 – Wait, I just got stabbed and nobody gives a shit?

19:58 – My natural need for attention is not met!

20:01 – GUYS!

20:02 – (ah, I stop moving)

20:03 – The samurai tried to commit seppuku

20:05 – But he failed,

20:07 – he didn’t have the guts to do it!

20:08 – Unlike me!

20:11 – (Woaw, awk–ward) (*the guy’s awkward)

X

20:13 – Repeat after me Kazutora, this is all…

20:16 – Baji’s fault?

20:17 – No! That’s not the right answer, Kazutora! Bad!

20:20 – It’s, it’s…

20:21 – The ice cream man’s fault!

20:22 – No, Kazutora! Very badly answered, bad boy! (*naughty boy=

20:24 – (whines)

20:25 – /

20:27 – /

20:28 – /

20:29 – /

20:30 – (whines)

20:31 – Go ahead and rot in jail, Crazytora

20:32 – Wuuhat?

X

20:34 – Welcome to your house, Master Takemichi!

20:36 – The timeline changed: I’m a high-ranking yakuza

20:38 – Which means…

20:40 – Which means!

20:41 – Hinata Tachibana is dead.

20:42 – I don’t give a single fuck! I’m rich!

20:44 – I can pay an escort twice as hot!

20:46 – I can finally live as I want to!

X

20:47 – You’re going to die here and now

20:49 – Who’s this guy!?

20:50 – Takemichi, times changed

20:52 – Nowadays I am at the top of a financial empire

20:54 – I have an army ready to kneel for me

20:56 – And contrary to the comedian voicing me,

20:58 – – I still have hair

20:59 – Eh!

21:02 – [moan]

21:03 – [through gritted teeth] Tetta… How do you do to--

21:05 – Have eyebrows this greatly trimmed?

21:06 – It’s two hours every week at the esthetician’s on Mondays at 2:30 pm,

21:10 – Sabrina truly has nimble fingers

21:11 – I was mainly wondering how you can sleep at night, you filthy monster!

21:14 – It’s easy really, 2 hours of ASMR nature sounds and chamomile tea

21:18 – He has such perfect answers I’d almost forgive him for the bullet he’s going to shoot in my head in a few seconds

21:21 – Oh, no, come on! You spoiled me!

21:24 – I myself wasn’t aware I was going to do it,

21:26 – I was enjoying hesitating, fUckk

21:29 – Well, when it’s time to go…

21:30 – [gunshot]

21:31 – chiFUYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

21:34 – Stop!

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

21:36 – I didn’t intend to shot, really

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

21:38 – It– It’s getting on my nerves!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

21:40 – SHUT THE FUCK UP

21:42 – uuU? [Mikey mouse wannabe]

21:44 – Well, Big Bad Guy: introduction, done

21:45 – I didn’t tell you the plan but basically it’s world domination, there

21:48 – And, well, how do I conclude this,

21:50 – It’s always hard, so I…

21:52 – I don’t know,

21:53 – Should I shoot you in the head?

21:54 – Be a very big pathetic loser if you’re okay with it

21:56 – [pants]

21:57 – Okay, you’re okay with it, okay then that’s what we do, I love when business goes nicely like this when,

22:01 – when the agreement is, is mutual

22:03 – Farewell, Takemichi

22:04 – [gunshot]

22:06 – (“Crybaby” starts playing)

[TOKYO CLIFFHANGER クリフハンガ一ズ]

[hollandorks]

shadows in the night

battinson!bruce wayne x f!reader

epilogue

summary: more than a year after the events of middle of the night, y/n and Bruce are happily engaged and working to lower the amount of crime in Gotham. However, a new killer calling himself the Riddler has other plans for their happiness…set during the events of the movie, mostly canonical, some changes made to fit the story

a/n: I literally can’t believe this story is over. I started writing MOTN in March this year, and it has been with me ever since. Almost 9 months straight of MOTN and Battinson. I’m so thankful for this story and the community it brought me and how much fun it’s been over the course of these months! I could write an entire essay on what it means to me and about the people this story brought into my life, but I’ll keep it short and sweet for now. 

I’d like to note that I kept this short on purpose--it’s just a glimpse into their future, and I didn’t want to bog it down with too many details. However, I do plan on including at least one more oneshot (maybe more). 

(PS: @captain-ariel-rogers you’re welcome) 

Series Masterlist

word count: 2807

Every tragedy in his life had led him there, to a home full of love and laughter, even amidst the shadows that came in the night.

The wind on top of the signal tower was unforgiving as Bruce waited next to the spotlight. It was March already, but winter had refused to release its claws from Gotham. 

Things in the city had changed, and not all for the good. Not all for the bad, either. 

Bella Reál had proven herself time and again to be a more than capable mayor. She thrived in the chaos, in the uncertainty, and had whipped Gotham into shape so quickly it had made Bruce’s head spin. Despite all of the crime, despite how many nights his signal shone in the dark, the new mayor had wrestled control of the city back into the hands of the good. 

The trial had started in December as planned, despite the flooding and the wreckage of the city, mostly due to Bella Reál’s firm hand. It had taken weeks, draining them all, but in the end every single man had been convicted on multiple counts and been sent to prison for decades if not the rest of their lives. 

For a while, as y/n was forced to relive her trauma on the stand, she had become a shell of herself. She had been withdrawn and quiet throughout the ordeal, the weight of the world holding her down despite Bruce and Alfred and even Gordon doing their best to share her burden. Her nightmares had worsened and Bruce had forced himself to come home earlier and earlier each night simply to be there for her. 

But the closer the trial got to its end, the more fiery she became. Her shoulders had straightened and she had thrown herself into rebuilding not only the Gotham Project, but the Renewal Fund as well, and even several other smaller projects that went hand in hand with helping the city. 

And she had planned their wedding. She wanted to get it done right, as Bruce had requested, but she also didn’t want to wait. 

He was, to put it plainly, in awe of her. 

And now, as March started to draw to a close, still wrapped in an unseasonably late winter, their wedding day loomed. 

Bruce wasn’t sure what he was more nervous for–the meeting he was about to have with the newly appointed Commissioner Gordon, or the wedding day itself. 

He fiddled with a hair tie he kept looped on his utility belt, a habit he had developed in the past year and a half. 

It wasn’t too long before the elevator in the tower started rattling its way upwards. 

Bruce inhaled sharply and fought against nervously tapping his foot or pacing back and forth. He forced himself into stillness as the doors slid open and Gordon stepped out. The man cursed and burrowed more deeply into his coat. 

“Couldn’t we have done this inside?” Gordon called out. 

“Light’s warm,” he said softly. It was true–the giant spotlight radiated warmth, more and more the longer it was on. Gordon shivered as he came to a stop next to Bruce. He rubbed his hands together to warm them. Bruce was glad for his own gloves, a newer pair that y/n had made him get that were thicker and lined with fleece. She’d forced him to winter proof his suit, for which he was grateful even if he had grumbled about it at the time. 

“Been a while,” Gordon said as they both looked out over the city. It had been a while–things had died down over the past several weeks to the point where the signal was rarely needed. Bruce mostly patrolled on his own and used police scanners to find out where he was needed. “How you been, man?” 

Bruce almost frowned. He didn’t realize that they made small talk now. “Fine,” he said. 

“Good, good.” Gordon rubbed his hands together again almost absently, then glanced up at Bruce. “So, what have you got for me?” 

Bruce couldn’t help shifting slightly from foot to foot. He hoped Gordon didn’t notice. But he was a good detective, a good cop–he likely did notice even if he was pretending otherwise. 

Finally, Bruce said, voice gruff and nonchalant, “I have to…step back for a couple of weeks. I wanted you to know, in case you needed me and I didn’t show.” 

He’d wavered back and forth, over and over again, between telling Gordon he was leaving and simply disappearing. But he cared for the city too much and had eventually decided that he couldn’t leave without telling someone. Y/n had agreed that Gordon was the best choice–he was trustworthy and likely wouldn’t press for information. 

“I figured as much,” Gordon said. Bruce’s eyebrows drew together behind his mask. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll look out for things here, even turn the light on and off and spread some rumors. Make it seem like you’re still around.” 

Bruce opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Why?” he said, the only question he could come up with that wouldn’t sound suspicious. 

Gordon gave him a sly look then shrugged. “I want you to enjoy your honeymoon.” 

The world fell away from Bruce’s feet. How could Gordon possibly know that was Bruce’s reason for leaving? He had no idea who Bruce was. Or at least, he shouldn’t. 

“Wh-what?” Bruce said. He silently cursed the stammer in his voice that likely gave it all away. His heart thundered in his ears. Everything went utterly quiet in his mind, every thought wiped out by a wave of pure shock. 

Gordon spread his hands innocently. “I’m just saying, man, if you were getting married this weekend and if you were about to go on your honeymoon, I don’t want you worrying about the city. I can take care of things for a couple of weeks.” 

Bruce struggled to remain still, to control his breathing, to reign in the panic building in his chest. It was as if he’d just taken a dive over the side of the tower, the world rushing past him as his stomach swooped up towards his throat and his heart pounded with fear and adrenaline. 

All the while, Gordon simply stared out at the skyline of Gotham all around them, his breath fogging in front of him as he breathed deeply and evenly. 

Bruce silently warred with himself. Did Gordon actually know, or was he guessing? A cold sweat started at his spine and worked its way upwards. 

But then he thought back to all the small interactions he’d had with Gordon, especially the ones where y/n had been around. The looks Gordon sometimes gave them, the small comments here and there. Gordon had even joked about y/n being taken and Batman having feelings for her, more than once. 

Gordon knew. 

Gordon had known for a while. 

“How?” Bruce said after a long silence had stretched and warped between them. How did Gordon know, how was he sure, how long ago had he figured it out? That one word encapsulated everything Bruce wanted to ask. 

“The gala,” Gordon said, which was the exact opposite answer of what Bruce had anticipated. “Your butler was there. She told the two of you to go home and, well…wasn’t hard to connect the dots after that. Especially with the way you looked at her. You tried to hide it, but…” Gordon chuckled.  

Bruce swallowed hard. The roaring had quieted in his ears, but he still felt panicked, unsure. He had always known his feelings for y/n would be what led someone to connect his identity to Batman. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Gordon finally turned to face him. His expression was light, almost amused. “No offense, but I don’t really care who you are.” He shrugged. “You and me, we have the same goals. We want to keep the city safe. It doesn’t matter to me who you are. It never mattered to me.” 

Bruce felt something odd in his chest at the words. He opened and closed his mouth several times. 

Gordon had known for a year and a half and had never said anything. Had never cared. 

“Like I said, man–enjoy your honeymoon.” Gordon winked, slapped him on the back, and left without another word. 

Bruce could only stare after him, utterly stunned. 

Finally, when he was so cold it hurt, he flipped off the light and left. 

His thoughts churned all the way home. He couldn’t get past it–Gordon had known this whole time. He had never revealed Bruce’s secret, had never even gotten close, not even to Bruce himself. 

Another person in his life that he didn’t deserve. Gordon had been a truer friend than he had ever realized. 

Bruce changed in the abandoned subway station, shivering from the cold. It was later than he’d thought. He’d been frozen–literally and figuratively–atop the tower for much longer than he’d planned to be. 

Upstairs, he found Alfred asleep on the couch, the cat Vinny curled up on his lap. Bruce smiled to himself. The butler always acted like he didn’t like the cat, who was now twice as big and twice as fluffy as he’d been when Selina had dropped him off. But toys always mysteriously showed up for the cat, ones that Bruce certainly hadn’t purchased and y/n swore she hadn’t gotten either. 

Bruce quietly turned off the lamp and left them to sleep before turning towards his room. 

That last little bit of anxiety finally melted from his chest. 

The city was in Gordon’s capable hands. He knew he didn’t have to worry while he was gone. And as an added bonus, he didn’t even have to worry about anyone connecting the absence of Batman with Bruce Wayne’s absence. Gordon had taken care of that, too. 

Bruce slid into bed next to y/n and sighed as she immediately curled up close to him. 

He couldn’t wait for her to be his wife. 

–

“Stop fidgeting,” Alfred murmured as he fixed Bruce’s bowtie. “You’ve no reason to be nervous.” 

Easy for Alfred to say, Bruce thought a bit bitterly. Bruce hated having the spotlight on him. There were so many ways he could mess things up. And he didn’t want to mess a single thing up–he wanted it all to go perfectly. 

“It’s y/n,” Alfred said as he smoothed the bowtie into place again. “Just you and her. No one else.” 

And somehow, the words worked. 

It’s just y/n, Bruce repeated silently to himself. He thought of her smile, her laugh, her warm hand in his, that little furrow between her eyebrows when she was concentrating. His nerves ebbed and settled. They were still present, but they were no longer choking him. 

“Alright,” Alfred said as he stepped back. “That’s your cue, my boy.” 

“Right,” Bruce said. The music had indeed shifted. He was supposed to go out to the altar. They’d practiced it the night before and everything. 

“Now I have to go get the bride,” Alfred said with a wink. 

Bruce swallowed and nodded. He made to step away, to go take his place, but Alfred caught him by the arm. 

“I know neither of us are much for words,” Alfred said. He swallowed hard. Were those…tears in his eyes? Bruce was suddenly nervous again for a completely different reason. “But I love you like my own. You and y/n both.” 

Bruce nodded because the lump in his throat wouldn’t let him speak. “I love you, too,” he finally managed, barely a whisper. 

Alfred hugged him quickly, then shoved him none too gently towards the door. 

“See you soon,” Alfred said with a watery smile. 

And then Bruce was standing in front of the crowd, palms sweating, all alone except for the woman who would be officiating. He saw Gordon in a smart suit, his wife at his side. There were Bryn and Ollie, sitting with Lena and her son. The lone reporter they had invited to document the event with several incredibly thorough contracts. Bruce’s old housekeeper, Dory, whom y/n had replaced when she’d retired. Even Selina was there, dressed in black and sitting near the back. She caught his eye and winked. 

It wasn’t really a crowd, only their closest friends and acquaintances. But it felt like hundreds of people to Bruce. 

His only stipulation, besides doing the wedding the right way, was to get married in the same church where his parents had gotten married. He’d worried y/n would be disappointed, that it wouldn’t fit with her vision of the wedding, but she’d been enthusiastic about the idea. 

His parents and her mother also had seats reserved for them, and he felt their eyes on him more than anyone else’s. 

The music shifted again, and every single thought eddied from his mind. 

The doors at the end of the aisle opened, and there she was. 

His breath caught in his chest. 

She was perfect. Her smile was wide and bright and the sight of it was like an arrow slicing through him. 

Her eyes met his and the rest of the world faded away. 

Emotion swelled, choking him, blurring his vision. 

He had never expected to find a love like this, a love like hers, and here she was, moving towards him and looking at him like he had hung the moon. 

Distantly, Bruce felt wetness on his cheeks.

But all he could see was her–the woman who was going to be his wife. 

As she got closer and closer every last bit of nervousness he’d felt disappeared under her brightness. He was simply an object in her orbit, following her sun, helplessly caught by her gravity. She eclipsed everything else, utterly radiant and so perfect he could never believe she was going to be his. 

Belatedly, he fumbled for the handkerchief Alfred had given him that morning. It had been Bruce’s fathers and still bore the initials T.W. He wiped at his eyes only because the tears were blurring the perfect vision of the woman in white before him. 

He shoved the handkerchief back in his pocket, eyes never straying from her, and held out his hand as she stepped up to him. 

Her hand was warm and fit perfectly in his own.

“Hi,” she whispered with a soft laugh as the officiant told everyone to be seated. 

They faced forward and Bruce whispered, “Hi,” back to her, his smile so wide it hurt. 

Now that she was close, he took in the small details, the world slowly fading back in at the edges. He was still focused on her, but it was no longer a total eclipse. 

Her dress wasn’t quite white–ivory, he was pretty sure they called it, which he only knew from their many conversations about dress shopping–and had a long train. Her veil was long, too, making her look regal beside him, a queen at her coronation. The material of the dress was almost silky, unadorned but not boring. Nestled at his throat were his mother’s pearls, matching the delicate pearls on her veil. His breath caught again at the sight. 

Y/n heard the small noise and turned her face to him to smile. 

This woman was going to be his wife. 

She nudged him gently and with a jolt, he realized that he was supposed to be paying attention to the officiant. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the woman at his side for long, stopping every few seconds to look at her in awe. 

The ceremony was flying by without him hardly noticing. He vowed to love her, protect her, be beside her always. He vowed that they would never be parted, even in death. He reminded her that she was everything he’d ever wanted, the words choking him on the way out.

He had written the vows in an almost fugue state the night before, the words pouring from him. He meant every single thing he promised. 

Then y/n vowed to love him, support him, be with him in all things. She laughed when she repeated that she would protect him and that not even death could part them. He was crying again, but he didn’t care. 

They exchanged rings and then–

Then they were pronounced husband and wife. 

Bruce kissed her fiercely. She was so warm against him, soft in all the right ways, and he never wanted to let her go. He wouldn’t ever let her go. 

There were cheers around them. Y/n was still smiling, her eyes wet. 

“My husband,” she murmured for his ears only. Was it his imagination, or did she glow even more brightly as she said the words? 

“Mrs. Wayne,” he said back teasingly, enjoying the way her breath hitched at the name. “Extraordinary woman.” 

Y/n was finally his wife. She was his, in every way. 

He was never letting her go. 

taglist: 

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[anniflamma]

Man, I'm going a bit crazy with the idea of Mephiboseth and Absalom a bit here like, for starters Mephisboseth has to deal with the whole drama that if it wasn't because he had already been injured that the people who took care of him would have never loved him or let him live long enough as he is now. Cuz he is the heir of Jonathan after all, but also its the exact reason that he is the son of Jonathan that David cares about the boy so much, maybe just as much as Solomon, even though it isn't so noticeable when there's a lot of the problems in the family that arouse due to David's many wives and children.

One of which is of course Absalom. And to an extent I feel like he would become jealous but, I also like to think about he would grow out of that when he sees that 1)Mephisboseth poses no threat to him, heck less threat than his brothers currently do, 2) He seems a bit more lonely in the regard that he is the only heir of a lost family whose only person he could call a familiar being the maid that saved and keeps caring for him like a mother. And 3) Maybe the idea of Tamar being close to Mephisboseth would be nice to write about (but will also add a sadder tone when Mephisboseth can't do anything about what's going to happen to Tamar. 😔) especially considering how her other bothers might be.

Like maybe Mephisboseth is also quite the contrast compared to Absalom who is pompous and extroverted in his own regard. Like even when the deals of the court get to be too much Absalom can go back to Mephisboseth because with him there's no need to put on a show so that he can look better than his two (one really, the second son seems to be as invisible as middle child gets) brothers. After some years he might not care much about his father's favoritism because well, he knows he is great enough by himself. Not as wise as Solomon but enough, probably because Mephisboseth and Tamar hype him up a lot. (And that care that Tamar shows to them probably is what makes Amnon so bitter to the point of committing horrible things in the first place. Because not only is he hurting Tamar, he also hurts Absalom who wasn't present at the one time Tamar needed her, and Mephisboseth who even if he was, wouldn't have been strong enough to help her— or maybe would have tried and ended up getting more hurt because of his disability.)

Either way of how you put the story, the tragedy will so deep throat that I can't stop thinking about it.

And sidenote, the fact that Siba was kept in charge of Mephiboseth during the rebellion of Absalom was just a little note honestly but my mind went to the idea that maybe, because Mephiboseth cares about Absalom so much he would have tried to help him in any way he can, and David— who had met in secret with Jonathan before, who knows the lengths he would have gone for to be with the one he loves– tries to impose him from meeting Absalom in the case that another son of his, the son of *Jonathan*, dies. (Not to mention he would also have broken his covenant with Jonathan if Mephiboseth were to die.)

Sorry mate. I'm so sorry but you are suffering with me after giving me this idea 😔

Hey, I have no problem suffering with you! Where are all my papers on Mephi/Absolom stuff!? 😫

I couldn't agree with you more on this! There are so many themes you could explore with a story about Mephiboseth. The conflicts... The emotional turmoil... aahh! I believe the dynamic between Absolom and Mephi would be such a fascinating aspect.

Mephiboseth suffered greatly from the trauma of his accident and the sudden loss of his father in one single day. Following this, Siba, Saul's servant, tended to him and relocated him to a place literary called “Nothing,” reinforcing Mephi’s belief that he is insignificant. Even in the Bible, his insecurity is evident as he refers to himself as “nothing more than a dead dog.” Therefore, when he gets an summon to David’s palace and meet the king and his family for the first time, I always wonder about what is his perspective? Does Mephi harbor resentment? Is there jealousy towards Absalom and David’s other sons who grew up in a luxurious palace— a life that was meant to be his? And imagine if Jonathan had survived, then Absalom and Mephiboseth would have grown up together as brothers….

And yhea, It is pretty much canon that Absolom and Mephiboseth are the opposite from each other. Like you said, one is beautiful, popular, pompous, extroverted and a prince. And the other is lame, introverted and a "nobody". Which is something I can eat everyday! I just love the opposite attracts trope!

For Absalom, he had grown up in a grand palace that strictly forbade the presence of anyone with disabilities. David, for a really stupid reason, held a strong dislike towards those who were blind or deaf. However, everything took a different turn when David brought a new child into the court, publicly declaring him as his own son and warning sternly that any harm towards the boy would be met with severe consequences. I think this sudden change could leave Absalom confused and somewhat resentful of his father's abrupt favoritism towards this random boy. He probably would feel jealous at first, but probably quickly shifts and not lingering on these emotions for long.

I also see that the relationship between David and Mephiboseth is not entirely healthy. David's protectiveness towards Mephiboseth could even borders to an obsession, stemming from his fear of losing "Jonathan” again. I thinks that Mephi would looks and resembling his father in every way, When Mephiboseth stands before him, David is overcome with emotion.

Picture him trembling on the floor before the king, uncertain of his fate, why he is here. In a surprising turn, David pulls him into a tight embrace, tears streaming down his face, perhaps softly uttering Jonathan's name. Confused and hesitant, Mephiboseth eventually returns the hug. 😭

David has good intentions and cares deeply for Mephiboseth, but his love for him seems to come with conditions. It raises the question of whether David's affection for Mephiboseth would remain unchanged if he were not Jonathan's son. The likely answer is no, something that Mephiboseth probably already knows about. The only reason David lifts the ban on disabled individuals entering the palace is because he desires to have Mephiboseth live with him and his family.

Then we have David's overprotectiveness during the rebellion. Despite being torn between loyalty to Absalom and David, Mephiboseth is forced to remain at the palace due to Siba's influence. Siba, believing that a lame person should not stand beside the King, prevents Mephiboseth from joining David but as well not allowed to follow Absalom. It could be that David might actually be alright with leaving Mephiboseth behind at the palace. A recurring theme in "The Prince’s Psalm" is how others underestimate David and try to forces him to stay low and at home. His family unknowingly hurts him when they are doing it. This mirrors how David unknowingly makes the same the mistreatment he endured from his brothers onto Mephiboseth.

There could be also a theme with David not viewing Mephibosheth as his own person. When Siba lies that Mephibosheth has betrayed David and that he has left the palace, David becomes enraged and gives all the inheritance that he would give to Mephibosheth to Siba instead, not taking time to think or ask for evidence. It also shows that he doesn’t really know Mephibosheth, that he immediately believes someone else's words. It gives the feeling of "putting him on a pedestal." What I'm trying to say here is that David loves Mephibosheth for Jonathan’s sake. It's a beautiful thing between David and Jonathan but not as much for Mephibosheth, if you know what I mean.

And there are so many parallels between David and Jonathan’s story with Absalom and Mephibosheth. It has the same story beats but the roles are reversed. The "shepherd" stays in the castle while the prince is on the run from the king.

Regarding Tamar, it's a very sensitive topic. The assault of Tamar in the Bible is only used as motivation for Absalom to start the rebellion. After that, Tamar isn't important narratively anymore. She is only mentioned once more after the assault, when Absalom names his firstborn after his sister. This act struck me as such sweet thing, cuz it's probably the only time in the Bible where a male character celebrates having a daughter. Personally, I've always been uncomfortable with female characters experiencing trauma solely to drive the motivations of male characters. As well as that a character would sexually abuse another character just to hurt someone else. Amnon comes across as nothing more than a creepy stalker in the bible, and I don't think he doesn't need any additional motivation for assaulting Tamar. Like you said, I really like the idea of having Mephibosheth and Tamar become good friends, leading Amnon to feel jealousy. But it wouldn’t be the main factor why he was harming Tamar in the first place. He was obsessed with her already and resorted to trickery to manipulate David into sending her alone to his bedchamber—a situation that would never have occurred if she hadn't been ordered or coerced into it. I do think that both Absalom and Mephi would blame themselves that they couldn't protect her but then Absalom redirects that resentment towards David. This would happened to Mephi as well but he becomes conflicted. That he don't want to blame David for forcing Tamar to be alone with Amnon at first but then realize it later. I'm not sure about what I could add to Tamar's story…. Perhaps keeping her involved in the story could enhance her character arc? For instance, instead of Siba aiding Mephibosheth in meeting Absalom secretly, maybe Tamar could fulfill this role instead? I dunno, I'm not sure.

Though if Mephibosheth and Absalom's relationship were romantic, then David would probably immediately spot it. 😅 I don’t think that he would mind in the beginning, and even it would make him reminisce his memories with Jonathan. But when Absalom starts the rebellion, he obviously sees him as a threat to Mephibosheth. And after Absalom’s death… Yeah, there we have the sad juice. David mourns for his son's death and we have Mephibosheth mourning too by David's side. It's like a reflection of Saul and Jonathan, but this time, it’s “David” who died. And it's the King and the “prince“ still living.

I WANT THIS TO BE A BOOK SO MUCH! 😫

[nobuverse]

Final thoughts on Olympus as a story segment in case anyone is interesting in such silly things as my opinions and tears on the story

Spoilers: I have minor issues but... It Good.

Gonna start off by saying I really had my reservations going in. A lot of it comes from the past experience of being told by a lot of people I knew years back that the original camelot singularity was amazing - and it turning out to be one of my least favorite singularities in the whole game ( tldr on that is that it was just too damn depressing without much room to breathe )

The Atlantis lostbelt? I liked it quite a bit throughout most of it; as I felt it hit that balance of light-heartedness and serious tones I was really missing from a lot of the other lostbelts. But I was also not a big fan of some of the final decisions they made ( such as Bartholomew's really abrupt disapearance and Charlotte's loss of memories ) that felt like they were just added in for extra artificial sadness

Olympus on the other hand? Was. Freaking. Awesome.

I think this lostbelt has single-handedly restored my passion for the game again. It's hard to put into words how wonderful the pacing was, honestly. Not only did it prevent itself from ever becoming so depressing that I wanted to shut off the game and stop playing, the constant excitement of fighting against impossible odds was so compelling I wanted to keep going, no matter what tragedy I faced along the way. ( Well, okay - I did have to take a small break at Musashi's sacrifice. That got to me. )

It also retroactively fixed a ton of issues I had with previous lostbelts ( such as giving Ophelia an amazing moment of putting the pieces of the puzzle together, making Holmes actually smart again with his arguments.... ).

And man. I just. Woodime. What an amazing character. I can hardly believe I used to hate him for being what I considered to be a Gary Sue of sorts. What a wonderful way to resolve an arc of someone we'd all believed to be so perfect up to this point.

I would love to talk specifics but I would be here analyzing it for literal hours

The only downside of this lostbelt to me was the beginning. Did not enjoy how they just brushed off your dealings with other lostbelts like 'oh but you've never dealt with an ACTUAL God tho'

Like i know the intention was to empathize how strong the gods in this world are but fuck you Anjura was totally a god??? That man could reset the entire planet ??? Excuse you ???

Its such a minor detail but it felt so mean-sprinted at the time

BUT

All that said.

Fantastic writing. Good Lostbelt. Brain goo. Heart broken. I'm gonna lay down and cry now

[umihoshi]

Autumn anime 2023 is so STACKED, it's illigal!

Aside from the obviously amazing continuing shows, there's TOO MANY great new ones.

Based on first episodes, here's my top ranking (may be subject to change cuz Apothecary Diaries isn't out yet. And excluding SpyxFamily, dr. Stone and Tokyo Revengers which are all *chef's kiss*)

1. Kamonohashi Ron: Deranged Detective

you had me at Detective. and then you had me at Deranged. Also, I'm a big fan of Amano Akira's other works, Reborn and eldLIVE (Psycho-Pass not so much, but she only did the character art) Depressed adult who is too curious for his own good, what's not to love?

2. Undead Unluck

I saw the manga before and had been really anticipating the anime. They're such a fun duo and their personalities and abilities compliment one another really well. looks like there'll be a lot of cool unusual superpowers. Reminds me a lot of Blood Lad, just hoping this anime won't end with virtually nothing solved T~T;

3. Kingdom of Ruin

Bit on the over the top side with the amount of tragedy, but the worldbuilding seems very interesting. I'm a slut for witch hunting too. May end up severely traumatized if I continue, but we'll see how it goes.

4. My New Boss Is Goofy

My soul is healed, my crops are growing. Grown men doing stilly stuff is comfort food for the eyes. Looks a bit yaoi baiting, but can't complain if it's cute. Reminds me of Cool Douji Danshi.

5. Migi & Dali

I don't even know what's going on at this point, it's so surreal. Elder couple wants to adopt one child and genius twins thought 'we can work with that'. The silly love children of Johan Liebert and Sakamoto desu ga. (same author as Sakamoto too. it sure shows.)

6. Crash course on Naughtiness

Last season, I was confronted with the pet-peeve of feeble waifu syndrome (I finished My Happy Marriage, but I'm sorry, I could not stand that girl...) And this season around, I realized the formula that breaks the curse of feeble waifus: a batshit crazy counterpart. This man is just bullying her with kindness. plus points for another excelent job done by Sugita Tomokazu.

7. Frieren

As a big fan of DnD, I can't say no to such a DnD-based series. Plus the pressure of having to live such a long live as elves do is very interesting. It's a bit slow to my liking, but the characters are amusing and layered.

8. Yuzuki family's 4 sons

a young man who has to take care of his 3 little brothers after his parents died, give me some napkins Q-Q not a single person looks or acts their age (the youngest has better vocabulary than I do;;) but it's all fun and sweet and trying to find your way in an unusual family-hirarchy

9. I'm in love with the villainess

My eyes hurt from looking at this. But the over the top artstyle works quite well with how silly the story is. I too would like to say 'step on me, mommy' to my favorite villain. Just hope it won't become repetitive in its jokes.

10. Tearmoon Empire

Wow, will you look at that. Another reincarnated villainess. Luckily, this one has no memories of living in a different world or something. Just her future self's diary. Enjoying the concept where she's not suddenly a saintly good girl for a change.

11. Oujo to Banken

This dude is on THIN fucking ice. I commonly enjoy age gaps very much. but in no way what so ever, would I support a relationship between a teenager and the 10 year older guy who basically raised her. Him being her parent figure is where I draw the line. That said, I'm eating up the amount of over-protectiveness and yakuza-logics. It has the amount of spice I had hoped to find in Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting that wasn't there.

12. Ragna Crimson

I'm sorry. just...... you can't make me believe that the ditsy loli-girl is the best dragon killer in the world. stop. The maincharacter is quite interesting, though. I like how it's like... his actual own power that he has for his OP special snowflake thing. Borrowing tomorrow's energy for today.....that's the description of a burn out I read the other day;;; But you do you, boy. good luck dying very early in life.

[stingslikeabee]

@phoenix-flamed . from here

It had been no secret among the residents of Oriflamme that Melissa hailed from the disgraced duchy turned imperial province. The idea that those born under the protection of the Phoenix were regarded as new brothers and sisters to the imperials was a lie - no minimal effort was done in that regard, even with a former Rosfield sitting at the helm of Sanbreque as the new empress.

Or maybe it was precisely because of that fact that Rosarians were looked at akin second-class citizens, even if not all of them had fallen into financial ruin like Melissa. The courtesan's fall from grace had been of a different kind - a moral one, wrecking her old reputation and family name. Much of her identity had been discarded to be replaced by a farce, allowing the humiliation that would be free to otherwise become profitable while indulging the whims of those sadist enough to revel in such tragedy.

But at her core, Melissa had never stopped believing - as feeble and discreet as her attempts were, the courtesan had tried to look not only for her family beyond the border, but friends and news alike of those who once ruled the grand duchy of Rosaria. There had been genuine appreciation and admiration for House Rosfield back then - her father, the Lord Edgar, had always spoken greatly of the men leading them.

Sanbreque could have an impressive palace and many riches at the capital, but Rosaria was comforting in a way the holy empire never could be. Their strength was in their people rather than their resources, devoid of their own mothercrystal for so long and still hopeful for survival. The firebird was alive in their hearts, unifying them around a single cause and keeping them warm during the hardest moments of their lives. As ridiculous as it all sounded now - Melissa had faith in all of that.

The phoenix was still burning in her mind and soul, and to suddenly hear Miles speaking such things had unleashed a temper that had been forcefully reined in after much suffering. To prosper and survive, Melissa had to be a harmless, pitiful dove with sorrowful eyes and honeyed voice - a picture of the innocence lost in tragedy. But inside, she burned for revenge. Had she possessed the means, the lady would have taken up arms instead of luxurious dresses to look pretty at the capital's balls.

Ordinarily, the brunette was not strong - a man such as Miles would not have been pinned to a wall no mater how furious she had been, but something about his behavior threw the woman off. The rage was there - unfiltered, burning, but... Hard to maintain when her employee was not the root of it. That he spoke of being someone that had been the embodiment of many of the courtesan's dreams and hopes was cruel, but he was a Bearer - there was nothing to be gained by making these claims and arguably earning the distrust or losing favor from his mistress.

"It cannot be," the grip keeping the man in place lessened, and Melissa clearly seemed disturbed (or distraught) by his words. Her mind was in turmoil - many of the pieces of the last months were being put together and the courtesan struggled to make sense of them. How? Why now? What if it was true? What if the man under her employment was none other but Elwin Rosfield, her rightful ruler and liege?

"I did everything I could," Melissa's voice dropped to a whisper; her hands then shifted, tugging at the fabric of his sleeves instead of trying to trap Miles any further against the wall, "All these years, this life - it has been for Rosaria. For my family, my country, my friends... I sent scouts, I wrote letters, I met with refugees, I just..." Melissa trailed off, honeyed gaze glistening with fresh tears.

"I desperately want to believe you."

[tickledpink31]

You said you thought about making a comic of Mari bleeding out in front of Sanzang, so might I suggest she say something like this-

Mari: Sanzang.

Sanzang: huh? What are you-

Mari: grow up.

Sanzang: huh?

Mari: you act like you are the only one suffering, but I believe that Wukong has some stories for you and I can assume they all end with, “and then he tried to kill me too.” And before you start whining about the Buddhist lifestyle again, and I get it, take a moment to consider that I don’t remember a single thing about myself or my life, and that doesn’t even come close to the complete tragedy of life that is Bajie.

Bajie: you want to come up here and say that?!

Mari: I am bleeding out! (Turn to Sanzang)

Mari: that demon is right. You think you’re better than everyone else, but there you stand the good man doing nothing, and while evil triumphs and your rigid pacifism crumbles into blood-stained dust the only victory afforded to you is that you stuck true to your beliefs. You are a coward to your last whimper. Of fear and love I fear not that I will die but that all I have come to love will perish with me, so please Sanzang, stop holding back.

Demon walks slowly and hand goes through Mari’s chest.

Demon: I’d say she’s gone to a better place, but we both know she doesn’t belong anywhere.

---

Wow, I didn't expect that from a parody series. I almost thought that that came from the official dub.

This exchange must have happened during one of those chapters where Wukong gets kicked out of the group again. Xiaodie is left to pick up the pieces as Sanzang's bodyguard, and things go awry real quick. Sure Wujing helps, but it's up to Xiaodie now to pick out the bad eggs of the bunch. Some demon is pushing Wukong's wife button real hard that it's practically become his speed dial.

Ouch. The truth hurts and so does witnessing your slowly friend die right in front of you. Xiaodie sees Sanzang as a good person, but it's reached the point of dangerously naive and passive that she couldn't just die without giving him the cold hard truth.

It's going to hurt Sanzang to know that he indirectly caused the death of his companion by trying to protect him. He could have changed the outcome. He could have trusted Xiaodie's judgment that the stranger was indeed a demon seeking to harm them.

TW: Mentions of mortal wounds, impalement, crushed under heavy objects, near-death experiences/death, violence

I've imagined Xiaodie being mortally wounded for Sanzang's sake in several ways with impalement being one of them. Although, I always imagined she would have been impaled by a blade like this:

But with the heavy-hitting angst of when Anthy backstabbed Utena in RGU.

Mmm watcha say~

There is also Xiaodie getting thrown back and hitting the back of her skull a bit too hard for her to stay conscious, or pushing Sanzang out of the way of falling debris then getting crushed by the weight.

This would probably be a good time to erase her name from the book of death.

[thereisnolumos]

What's your opinion on the Marauders fandom? I love it and I'm loving jegulus. At the same time I'm also a snape fan. I wish I could find parts of the fandom that are both snape and Marauders fan. I swear the divide between types of fans feels like team Edward vs team jacob

I loved it much more before, now I think most of it is insane and reaching. Where Neville came from I can't even understand and I genuinely don't understand why 1) they make EACH AND EVERYONE gay , and 2) why the feminise Sirius so obsessively

But I still love parts of it, I love the tragedy of it. Sirius is my all time favourite character but only the canonical one, not the caricature the modern Marauders fandom made of him. James and Lily are the GOAT canonical couple in the books. The complexity of relationships between the Marauders themselves. Canon Regulus is SOOOO interesting, and I HATE, that modern fandom makes him to be someone who actually stopped believing in blood supremacy, the tragic hero etc. He wasn't and he never did. He was eager to become a Death Eater and was proud to be one, he was raised with blood supremacy and nothing indicated that he doubted it. But he was insulted by Voldemort's treatment of his family's house elf entrusted to him, it was a disrespect and his actions afterwards were aimed against Voldemort personally, not the belief system Voldemort exploited. I actually believe that he was disgusted with Voldemort after figuring out about a horcrux because it was an insult to magic. Regulus is complex and tragic, but nowhere near any heroic deeds

I DESPISE Snape😈 With all my heart. I don't think he has a single redeeming quality. He's a child abuser and that's it. He's actually the person who made all the wrong choices and he actually made them, all on his own free will. No one forced him, but he ran head first into it, eager to become a Death Eater despite claiming to love a muggleborn. He never loved Lily, he was obsessed with her and wanted to possess her, without actually trying to do the barest minimum for her. When I read the line "the bravest man I ever knew" I was SCREECHING WITH RAGE, because he absolutely wasn't. He wasn't even protecting Harry that well, the only "good" thing he had going for him

My main issue with Snape, besides him abusing children entrusted to him as a teacher, is that he wasn't raised in this belief system. He grew up among muggles, became friends with a muggleborn, claimed to love her, but actively chose to believe in muggle enslavment and muggleborn extermination, joined the cult focused on it. Not to mention sadistic nature of the curses he invented at sixteen... yeah, I hate him

Sorry for my rant about Snape, but it's an instant reaction 🤣

[thoughtsineedtoletout]

The Tortured Poets Department

Track 5 - So Long, London

If you know Taylor Swift lore, you will know she always saves the most devasting songs for track 5, so we're in for a ride here. I have seen a lot of people simplifying this song into "Taylor left her long-term boyfriend because he was depressed", but they are severely misinterpreting the song. Let me explain.

The intro starts with half-notes of the chorus, so (so) long (long), Lon (Lon) Don (Don). This is reminsicent of church bells and I think in this case, it is meant to be the wedding bells that never eventuated.

In the first verse, the narrator sets the scene of her lover's emotional inaccessibility, she's in a perpetual state of trying to get him to open up to her emotionally and was single-handedly keeping the relationship afloat, without any reciprocity from him.

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift // Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away

He maintained his emotionally unavailable exterior despite her greatest efforts, but whenever she felt like he was drifting away and a rift was forming between them, she kept calm and didn't protest to putting work in because she saw their future on the other side of all these obstacles.

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist

Carrying the weight of the relationship on her own got too much, though. She couldn't continue because it was becoming detirmental to her own well-being, so she stopped trying to get him to open up and let her in. Despite this, he continued not giving her anything back.

My spine split from carrying us up the hill // Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill // I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe

The chorus goes through her internal monologue, questioning how much sad did you think I had // did you think I had in me? // oh, the tragedy, indicating she couldn't keep putting herself through this just to keep him around. She couldn't continue being sad all the time; she ran out of sadness. She was feeling so lonely and isolated in this relationship without any trade-off from him. She goes on to bid him farewell, so long, London // you'll find someone.

This ties back to the song London Boy from four years ago, when she was telling everyone how in love and happy she was with him. Her life was interwoven with his and she took on his interests and lifestyle in 'London Boy', demonstrating just how much effort she had put into this relationship, to now saying goodbye.

In verse two the narrator tells us despite how hard she was working to break through his foritifcaion of emotional unavailability, he was unfaithful, and I believe this ties into his depression. She has discussed his depression in songs before, often using blue as symbolism for this, such as in My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys, Lover, and hoax. These songs tie into this one where she's saying she lived through his bouts of depression with him and loved him in spite of it.

I'm going to put my psychology degree to use here and provide some context into male infidelity and its correlation with depression. Often, men with depression will involve themselves in an affair to remedy their melancholia. Clandestine ventures provide them with a self-esteem boost because it makes them feel desired, gives them a quick supply of self-worth, and a form of validation. This is because depression tends to cause people to lose enthusiasm in things that used to bring them excitement, and even cause them to start resenting it so they seek out thrills elsewhere (source).

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out // I founded the club she's heard great things about

She didn't sign up to be the third wheel in their own relationship, indicating she was being cheated on. She references another woman praising her lover and reaping the benefits of the work she put in to get him to be the person he is being complimented for.

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath // I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use // The spirit was gone, we would never come to // And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

Despite leaving her whole life behind, moving to his country, in order to be with him and do her best to integrate into the life he had built already, he left her behind anyway. At this point, she realises that no matter how much she puts into this relationship and her continually resuscitating it when it was dying was pointless. The CPR lyric ties into the song You're Losing Me, in which she uses her own heartbeat in the production, and states, I can't find a pulse // my heart won't start anymore // for you.

She then goes on to say she's angry that he wasted her youth. She kept giving and giving, but got nothing back. He wasted so much of her time for nothing to transpire from it. In the second chorus, she says, for so long, London // stitches undone // two graves, one gun // I'll find someone.

Stiches is likely referencing the songs invisible string and Glitch, in the former, she says all along there was some invisible string tying you to me and the latter, I'm fastening myself to you with a stitch. Now these things binding them together have come undone because of he stepped out on their relationship. The gun she references here is the other woman, it is what killed their relationship; the two graves are the narrator and her lover.

In the bridge, the narrator is calling out her lover for blaming her and saying she abandoned their relationship but she says she was actually killing herself trying to keep it afloat, and you say I abandoned the ship // but I was going down with it // my white-knuckle dying grip // holding tight to your quiet resentment. She did everything she could to keep the relationship together, but all he did was resent her for it.

She goes on to say her friends are showing concern for her, telling her that it isn't right to be scared // every day of a love affair // every breath feels like rarest air // when you're not sure if he wants to be there. She was giving everything she had and still living in anxiety and uncertainty of having him half-way out the door. Relationships are work, but it is a two-way street, it cannot just be one person holding it together, and it shouldn't be this hard.

She's rightfully engraged in the final verse, where she's saying that he swore that he loved her, but his actions proved otherwise. She died on the altar waiting for the proof of his love; another wedding/marriage reference. She fought for and tolerated so much from him for a marriage that never eventuated.

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days // And I'm just getting colour back into my face // I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place

I think this is another reference to the cheating, sacrifing their relationship, succumbing to his depression that yielded an affair. She's just now unravelling herself from the life she tried to build with him and finding herself again, and finally seeing it for what it was. She's roused from her sadness of their sinking relationship and instead is angry because she loved him and now she has to let him go, all because he wouldn't pull it together for her.

The final chorus is also her final farewell.

So long, London // Had a good run // A moment of warm sun // But I'm not the one // So Long, London // Stitches undone // Two graves, one gun // You'll find someone

She accepts that while in a dark place, he lit it up for her and gave her what she needed at the time, but she was not the one for him, even if she thought he was the one for her. She's taking herself out of the equation because three people in a relationship is what killed it. She is acquiescing but accepting that it's over and he will find someone else. I think this also ties into the song the 1.

The lyric 'so long' throughout the song is there to deliver a layered meaning of how long they were together, but also serves as a farewell.

Back to list of analyses.

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Taking inventory on showing up when I normally depart the library

Stopping for the bathroom at the DHS office instead of shopping the dollar store. Am grateful for having the following experiences, instead of dying.

The white teslas. Notably at the exit at siskiyou as someone tall and blond "opened a door" at the consultant offices up there. Anyone's guess what *that's supposed to mean*. A mexican is white because he can white teslas follow me around? Janneke will open a door if he runs me over? What next?

We've got the coopers. A red one at mountain avenue braced against a spacer vehicle from city cruiser. There was another in the vicinity of student housing. Same repeating plates. Different time of day by hours, as though they were *waiting for me* to enter town, or something.

We've got people taken together, dressed entirely in yellow next to the fire department I pass there.

This isn't the grating of nerves work of a friend; if there is such a thing. This feels more the work of an enemy who can kill for not being heard.

A sort of enemy who reasonably expects people to conform to their labels (out of a pure selfish interest) instead of dying or something. And none of this is going away. (Shelver spy was waiting where I habitually sit, right in the way, several hours after *usually doing that* where I'm sitting, around the time the library opens. Not mid afternoon.

Edit: You know you'll never meet the tall man/woman of your dreams if anyone finds out they can be killed for being taller than you. Some secret. That's about the extent of it.

Post script: As I was going to Safeway, I noticed they were emptying *the entire bottle machine* which was not empty nor even close. So the coop, then? What's at the Safeway to main crossing? Not one guy with teardrop tattoo in gang style, but *four*, waiting across the street. And later still, the *only car the whole length of a road*, a 484-NN cooper. And then, since my journaling seems to net a very real life response *in the form of people and their time and their stuff* as though they are words.

A stalker from the park essential alone outside at the coop restaurant. After I warned him about following me around.

So it's *superfluous* seeing a "coincidental" phil and ryan expy at the rotary bridge and *again at the park department bridge* showcasing a yellow "becees" backed shirt. Be see five fives.

Meaning they are on the same side as a group of what might be called thugs across from rear safeway.

When I change clothes with the seasons, the coop desk staff looks at me like I've become a different person. With that kind of alarm. "Name" they ask. But not always.

I feel like I should become the kind of person who mails someone a bag of human teeth as "a message", as they say. And it becomes clear, seeing all these people used as words in a sentence or something, how the *whole valley* was nearly destroyed by fire. Also, fire outbreaks annually across the California border. Every. Single. Pot harvest season.

"What you really want is..." I want what I came for. "Have you considered the prospect of an elevated mood instead of meeting a need?" That's insane. Drug traders are networked and armed and organized, and this happens to be a border crossing with the wealthiest us state. Shops on the plaza believe a lot of weird stuff accordingly. And now, there's a lavender emporium.

Seems like some folks think so little of me that if they thought *better*, I'd be dead. Or in jail by the same basis as being killed. Which seems funny to me, a white guy from one of the whitest cities in the whitest state, to be experiencing daily. When you want to talk about how murders are tragedies where all crime is organized, this is sort of a hiccup.

A Hungarian woman causes people to die with her presence, can be reasonably claimed.

A Dutch woman who's from here? How?

Long winded, I know, but I had to get the pins in the graph in there.

[beanhusk]

my fave letterboxd reviews of maan (2011)

transcription under the cut <3

tara, 4 1/2 stars: I'm crying this was so GOOD they were so IDIOTIC catherine in the blue dress changed my LIFE I too want a stupid toy piano to plink on as I contemplate the beauty of women

sashi, 4 1/2 stars: some cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. david tennant and catherine tate killed me with ACTING.

julia, 4 1/2 stars: kill claudio.

ellie🦒, 5 stars: it's almost as if shakespeare wrote this play SPECIFICALLY for david and catherine because hoo boy nobody could have performed this the way they did

Nicole, 4 1/2 stars: the only thing that would have made this production better is if beatrice had had her way and benedick actually killed claudio

peej, 5 stars: josie rourke understands this play better than shakespeare did

Caitlin, 5 stars: The chaotic bisexual energy in this is ASTOUNDING

ffion, 4 stars: the chemistry between david tennant and catherine tate??? a more iconic comedy duo CANNOT be named

Katie🌈🎵, 4 1/2 stars: The queer energy coming off of this.... truly what Shakespeare would have wanted

teagan, 5 stars: i've never loved a performance choice more than i love david tennant as benedick delivering a soliloquy hungover, in jorts, and drinking through a star-shaped crazy straw! (also margaret pls marry me)

Jules, 4 stars: Benedick and Beatrice like lets be dumbe and silley together let's be stoopid in love and win the game of gender

🧚‍♀️, 4 1/2 stars: catherine tate wife

baz, 4 1/2 stars: catherine tate in the suit and the blue dress.......god i love women

galpalkirk, 4 stars: catherine tate... david tennant... i love you

maggie: wheres that tweet about being at a barbecue and saying like this whole thing smacks of gender....me watching this

tessaclare, 4 stars: susan_sontag_notes_on_camp.mp4

milo: far too much gender going on

Alex AL, 5 stars: Two Kinsey 5s making it work

tennant, 5 stars: david tennant and catherine tate being in a shakepseare play together cured my depression.

Emilie🤟🏼, 5 stars: the Only benedick and beatrice

vivi: this 100% takes place in the same universe as the mamma mia movies

Jean, 5 stars: OH the GENDER of it all.

Nikuuuu, 5 stars: U think u know romance??? U don't

bruschetta bitch, 4 1/2 stars: still waiting for david and catherine to adopt me

angelazira, 5 stars: oh, so Catherine tate is hot hot.

mila, 3 1/2 stars: benedick and beatrice bicons <3

felicia, 4 1/2 stars: Oh fuck maybe David Tennant is hot

mary, 4 stars: david tennant with white paint on his face, grinning like an idiot because he's in love

azie, 5 stars: Benedick: the orginal himbo

james, 4 stars: hand me a baseball bat im bashing claudios head in

Grace, 4 stars: this was so crazy it made me want to make out with someone but then i regained my senses

Sophie, 5 stars: Much Ado About Nothing (2011) my beloved

shira / nell, 5 stars: when shakespeare wrote much ado about nothing he did it specifically with david tennant and catherine tate in mind. no one else can give us such chaotic bisexual energies.

lemon, 4 1/2 stars: nothing to say just bi/bi ship

shira / nell, 5 stars: ngl i have no idea what's happening half the time but catherine tate hot and david tennant pretty so does it really matter

elliot, 4 stars: thank you catherine & david for your service to the lgbt community

[abyss-sss]

'𝘉𝘢𝘥 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘬'

Summary: Levi believes he’s bad luck, and then he finds you...

Word Count: 1k

Genre: angst with a lil fluff, mentions of injury

A/n: sorry, had to get this thought out of my head.

Levi really truly believed he was a bad luck charm. Everything in his life had collapsed around him, miraculously leaving him alive or unscathed amidst his dead comrades. Everyone he’d ever trusted dropped dead like flies and no matter how much he wished to trade places with them, he knew he never could.

 It was common for soldiers to blame something for the frequent disasters. It’s easier to turn all the wallowing and the anger at one single thing whether responsible or not. So it was logical for Levi to choose himself as his bad omen. After all, he was the common denominator in his life's tragedies. It was convenient to loathe his reflection in the mirrors and to see his sadness as a just and deserved punishment. 

When you come into his life he decides to ignore you. He’ll only cause you trouble and heartache. Besides, even if he let himself have this one thing he felt deep down that he’d never truly deserve it the way you deserve the world. So even though he wants to litter kisses all over your face and wrap himself in your comfort he pauses and puts up the same façade that has haunted him his entire life. 

When you constantly push against him he’s firstly astounded, secondly scared. He thinks that you might be delusional for running after him. Maybe when you see him for what he actually is, you’ll realize it was a mistake and leave him. He thinks that you leaving now would be a blessing because you staying is somehow scarier, no matter how much he wants you to.

Your insistence continues despite his worries and he begins to see you as a permanent fixture in his life. He thinks of you often but a nagging thought that he’ll bring his infamous bad luck upon you weighs on him heavily. He always tries to go back to how it was-shutting you out, keeping you safe- then you shove your way back into his heart and his resolve wanes.

You slowly become his good luck charm. You are his exact opposite and he finds comfort in the way you foil him. If he has always had bad luck then you're the best damn bad luck he’s ever had. In a sense- even though you are good, the way you make him fall for you makes him feel like you’ll inevitably ruin him in a way that no-one has. For once he thinks he’s met his match. You will cancel out anything that he causes to go wrong and he’ll be yours.

That’s why when he sees you lying bloodied on the battlefield his blood runs cold. Finally, he thinks, his bad luck overpowered everything perfect about you and he’s bled you dry of luck. When he checks for your pulse he feels as if he's burning your skin despite his gentle, air-like touch. Once again, he's bad luck and it seems as if he'll never stop hurting the ones he loves.

It takes two weeks for him to visit you in the infirmary. In those weeks he spent his time pacing past your door and finding excuses to not see you because he was 'busy.' 

He spends hours trying to convince himself to let you go so that he can 'protect' you from all the calamities that seem to follow him. He tries to run over the break up he's planning in his head but the thought of you always ruins it. It makes him want to give up and just hold you, even if you have to deal with his shitty luck for the rest of your shitty lives together.

When he finally visits you you're incredibly happy. It had been a worrying few weeks without Levi by your side. Hange had shaken their head when you asked why he didn't come by and sighed a simple, "he's an idiot, y/n. He'll come around." Sure enough he did come, even if only to ease the constant dialogue in his head. He wanted to see you to clear his mind in the miraculous way you always do.

He sends you a small, nervous smile and you think that you've never seen a man look more regretful in your entire life. The sadness in his eyes was immeasurable and you feel your heart begin to drop. 

"Hey." You say. You return a sad smile, waiting for him to explain, for him to talk to you, for him to say that he'll stay with you forever. At least, that's what you hope he'll do.

"Hey," he replies. He gulps. You're still bandaged over your many wounds and your arm is wrapped in a cast. He looks as it and all he see is that it's his fault. It cements how much he wants to leave you, not because he doesn't love you, but because he loves you so much that this hurts in a way he hasn't felt since Isabel and Furlan died. It's a strange experience to love so much that you only remember the way the love ends.

In the same minute he tries to steady his nerves to leave you he admires your beauty and it halts everything inside of him. 

"I..."

In one breath his tongue twists and turns, trying to decide between  "I'm breaking up with you," and, "I love you."

Instead he says, "I'm sorry."

You release a breath and open your arms to him, accepting and warm. 

"It's okay Levi, we can talk about it later." 

You think he's saying sorry for not visiting but really, he's saying sorry for existing, for letting you down, for not being enough, for being bad luck. And even though he believes all of those things about himself he sits in the chair next to your bed and lets you embrace him in a way that makes him feel weightless.

By the time he falls asleep next to you after talking through the evening he is certain he is utterly in love. Even if he's bad luck he knows you'll be there to accept all of him.