#'unlike me who took all their work and couldnt be damned to even find the name of the original artist'

[the-kings-of-games]

YGO fandom, stop reposting other people's artwork 2k23. It's not appreciation—it's art theft, and you should do better. Thanks.

[slytherinwh0re]

Call me Draco

Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors dni) and swearing

Summary: Where you smell Draco in your amortentia even though you’ve never gotten along.

Masterlist

A/N: I’ve already done an amortentia fic (Fresh linen, daisies, and a hint of honey) in Draco’s POV but I wanted to do one in readers POV too so here it is lol

“Get out my way (y/l/n).” Malfoy smirks over his shoulder after purposefully bumping into you in the deserted hallway. You roll your eyes at the insolent blonde, speeding up to catch up to him.

“Must you always be such an ass Malfoy?” You look up at the tall slytherin, ready for the snarky remark you’re sure is coming. This is basically routine for the both of you by now, one would say or do something to annoy the other, and they’d reply with the sarcasm you save especially for one another, it’s been this way for years.

“Only when you’re around (y/l/n), no one else brings it out in me quite like you do.” He looks you up and down before chuckling to himself as your scowl only grows larger. It’s true, no else seems to be able to get under his skin as much as you can, not even Potter, it’s really an accomplishment.

“Just stay out my way blondie.” You brush past him speeding up, not caring enough to continue the conversation. Sure he’s annoying and arrogant but something about the prat attracts you, probably just his good looks.

***

Potions was always one of your favorite classes, you were damn good at it, so when you got into Newt level it came to no surprise. Of course having Malfoy in the same class kinda put a damper on things but you didn’t let it bother you too much.

“We’ll be making amortentia today, get in partners, you have until the end of the lesson to finish.” Every girl in the class looked around, excited to know who they’d smell in the powerful love potion. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious as well.

“I’ll get the supplies.” You tell Pansy as she sets up the cauldron.

***

“I smell Luna, no surprise there.” Pansy says after taking a whiff of the potion, she really was smitten for the blonde ravenclaw. “Your turn, let’s see who you most desire.” She teasingly wiggles her eyebrows, causing you to laugh.

“Hmm, I smell—expensive cologne and mint?” You look up at your friend with a confused expression on your face, she stares at you, her eyes wide with amusement.

“You’re fucking joking?” She chuckles lightly, as you try to figure out what she clearly already knows.

“I’m not.”

“It’s Malfoy (y/n), you just smelled Malfoy in your amortentia.” Pansy laughs harder as you stare at her in shock.

Oh fuck. She’s right, that’s exactly what he smells like but that can’t be right, you despised each other. Yes you find him attractive but is it so much so that you desire him? You couldnt bring yourself to look up for the remainder of the class, too scared that he’d possibly heard yours and Pansy’s conversation, he’d surely humiliate you if he had.

***

“Are you really not gonna tell him (y/n)?”

“I plan on doing the complete opposite actually, which is pretending it never happened.” Pansy pouts as you continue walking to the great hall, trying desperately not to think of the slytherin, yet failing miserably.

“Well Im gonna go find Luna, I’ll meet up with you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

When did this happen? Why of all people did you have to smell Malfoy? You’d never even thought of him in that way, usually you just thought of him as a cocky git but you suppose you did look forward to your little arguments everyday.

You wonder who he smelled in his cauldron, very much to your horror you hoped it was you, the thought made you groan to yourself. What did you do to deserve this?

When the hand reached out and pulled you into the empty classroom it took everything in you not to scream.

“What the fuck Malfoy?” Your heart pounds in your chest and not from the fright but instead from the proximity of the boy currently trapping you against the door.

“Is it true?” His eyes never leave yours.

“What are you talking about?” You look away, too embarrassed under his gaze since you know exactly what he means.

“Did you really smell me in your amortentia?” His fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him once again.

With a small sigh you let out a quiet “yes” there’s really no point in denying it anymore, he’d clearly heard you in class. When he grins it leaves you even more confused than before.

“I smelled you too (y/l/n), isn’t that something?” To say you were shocked was an understatement, what an unlikely turn of events.

When Malfoy’s lips met yours it took you a second to respond but when you did it was as if your bodies knew this is what you’d been craving all along. There was nothing gentle about the kiss, the desire you felt for each other clouded both your minds as he pushed you into the door, his hips flush against yours, the hardness on your thigh not going unnoticed.

His lips move down your neck, leaving marks for tomorrow, you let your hand travel down his body, rubbing him through his dress pants, his hands undoing your school shirt and tie.

“You’re fucking perfect.” He sucks on your collarbones and the top of your breasts, moaning against you as you continue to palm him over his pants.

He works on the zipper at the back of your skirt, letting it fall to the ground joining your school shirt, leaving you in only your bra and panties. You get his pants undone and the blonde takes it upon himself to remove his shirt.

“Is this okay?” He whispers while lowering his hand to where you want him most.

“Yes.” Is all you say as you wait in anticipation for him to finally touch you.

His long finger drag down your panties, and without a second of hesitation they run up your soaked folds making you shudder against the door. He rubs them against your clit in small circles, his eyes never leaving your face as you moan for him.

“I want you.” You tell the smirking slytherin, swallowing your pride, too caught up in the pleasure to care about how desperate you sound.

“Jump.” Immediately you do as you’re told, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding on to his strong shoulders. When he pushes into your slick entrance both of you let out a loud moan, your nails scratch into his back as he begins pounding into you.

“Oh fuck Malfoy..” Your heads thrown back and his pace quickens.

“Draco,” he pauses to let out a raspy moan, “call me Draco.” You shake your head, for no reason other than to mess with him, even now with his dick in you—you just couldn’t help it, old habits don’t die overnight after all, nevertheless your moans for him never stop.

Suddenly he’s carrying you over to a table, sitting you on the edge, and laying you down on it, his hands pushing your knees down so he’s reaching somewhere even deeper than before. The pace he sets is brutal, obviously trying to prove a point, and doing a damn good job at it.

He glares down at you, watching the spot where your bodies connect, “I said-” he pulls all the way out before slamming back in, “call me Draco.” His fingers find your clit again, making you scream.

“Draco!” You scream, no longer able to hold it in, the boy’s wrecking your body and you love every second of it. His other hand finds your throat and with a few more powerful thrusts you’re screaming his name as you fall apart underneath him.

“(Y/n), fuck..” the sound of your name leaving his mouth makes you throw your head back onto the desk as he releases into you.

Once you’ve both caught your breath he helps you off the desk, cleaning you up, and helping you back into your wrinkled clothes.

“Well, that was something.” The nervousness is clear in your voice, afraid he’ll regret what you just did.

“Meet me in the astronomy tower at 9 tonight,” he pushes a piece of hair behind your ear, “I’ll probably never be able to keep my hands off you again.”

*

Tag list: message me to be added/removed

@tonksandherpinkhair @fuckingdraco @dracosathenaeum @dreaming-about-fanfictions @lovecatsnotpeople @ccabian @purpleskymalfoy @tonksandhercombatboots @hellounicorn @whattheactualfuckyeet @perfect-storm95 @prongsandprancer @agirlwithpointlessideas @explxsion @tb-ctn @capkatie @dracoxmgg @sydnee-kom-spacekru @slytherinxraven @emomikewazowski @juliannaamonroe @unadulteratedfirellamapanda @t38h @dracoswhore007 @d-malfoytb @daringvixon @missmercurymoon @weaslcyx @raylovessarcasm @xlilsubbyx

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[shotosprincess]

When he loves me — Iwa ♡︎ Oikawa

LISTEN TO: “ CLOUD 9 “ — BEACH BUNNY

ART: UNKNOWN ( i found it as a sticker on picsart since i couldnt find any good iwaoi screencaps so if yk who the artist is plspls lmk !! ty !! )

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

pairing: iwa x oikawa

summary: iwa shyly plays oikawa a song he wrote on a whim ,, and years later ,, after they fell apart ,, oikawa attends one of iwa’s concerts and hears their song,, the song,, once more .

genre: angst + fluff !! <3 ugh i love oikawa my bby but i absolutely love him and iwa together sm too ajjdjjf

a/n: 3am writing for comfort innit (•̀ᴗ•́)و smhsmh it’s lowkey so dramatic ?? idk why i was feeling so melancholic ?? but i live for the yearning anyways lmao <//3

“ Hey...wanna...hear something I’ve been working on? “

Iwa’s voice shifted to one of a far softer tone, unusually uncertain of himself as he gripped the bedsheets beneath him in an anxious hold, turning away from Oikawa whilst a deep vermillion blush tainted his shy-stricken face.

The hazel-haired setter lifted his mouth into a gentle smile, skin mirroring a similar red to Iwa’s. His head lolled to the side, and Iwa swore he felt something flutter within him. The fist which he clutched the bedsheets within closed even further.

“ Sure, Iwa-chan! “

A hard gulp. Iwa swallowed his nerves down, fingers hovering over the strings of his freshly-purchased guitar, hesitant. Trembling, even.

Light wisps of brown swept just over Oikawa’s eyes as he put down the volleyball he had been mindlessly spinning, and covered Iwa’s hands with his own. He looked up with a reassuring grin, deepened-honey gaze colliding with one of the enchanting midnight sky.

“ It’s okay. It’s just me. But of course, you don’t have to play if you don’t wan— “

Iwa swats his hand away. “ Of course I wanna, dumbass! “ He barked.

With a frustrated huff, his fingers find a home amongst the sound as they begin to delicately strum the translucent strings. His eyes fell closed, lost in the music, albeit fairly cliche, as he wordlessly played the song which was most special to him.

For what reason it held such a cherished place in his heart, he did not know. Not truly, at least. Admittedly, he had written it purely on a whim, clutching onto the fleeting remnants of a foreign euphoric high. The crazed rush of fingers furiously clacking against the keyboard filled the silence of his room, lasting well into the evening. He had so much to say, so much to express, and yet it was only through the words appearing on the screen in which he could ever hope to communicate it.

He had never even planned on sharing it. After all, it was merely a crappy, rushed song put together purely by the rawness of an unknown emotion, and during ungodly hours of the night out of all times. It was nothing special, really.

To him, at least.

And yet in a hushed, timid tone, he began to sing:

“ I don’t wanna seem the way I do...but I’m confident when I’m with you... “

Oikawa’s lips parted in sheer awe. The delicate swirls of the instrumental blended flawlessly into the angelic quality of Iwa’s singing. His muscles tensed. He shook it away.

What the hell is this? Was he...nervous? No, no, it can’t be. This is Oikawa-fucking-Tooru we’re talking about!

He could do nothing but stare intently in a silent adoration as he allowed his heartbeat to meld with the smoothness of the melody, sweeping him out of Iwa-chan’s bedroom and into a whole other universe entirely. One where there exists no pain, no sadness, no fear. One where tears dried before they could even splatter upon the ground. One where everything was happy and perfect and...good.

—

IWA

Five years have passed, yet I miss him all the same. If anything, the ache has only grown to, somehow, prove itself increasingly unbearable over the time we’ve spent apart. My stare falls upon my guitar. Not the new one, which is this modern, flashy model with a bold red design, but my first-ever guitar, boasting its worn-out strings and dulled body. The hole in my heart digs itself impossibly deeper.

We had dated not long after that night—the night I played my song to him, and suddenly it became our song. We would whip it out like a handy party trick whenever we’d hangout with the rest of the team, and it was...nice to say the very least. Well, while it lasted, of course. Highschool love, teenage love, is constantly fleeting. Temporary. That was my philosophy at least, until Oikawa Tooru appeared and changed everything. I disregarded every sense of rationality, and all for the blissful rush of romance which he offered. The sneaking out, the small notes snuck into each other’s lockers, the way he draped his jacket over me when I got cold, the tender kisses shared in a darkened room.

I loved it. All of it. And when I lost him, I missed him too. All of him.

I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. After all, teenage love is but a transient feeling, is it not? I had to drill the reiteration of my old motto back into my head when we split, so that I may never allow myself to yield to the temptations of love, or at least the attractive promise of one, ever again. Eventually, we had to go our separate ways. He pursued volleyball, and I chased relentlessly after a different growing passion of mine, though honestly rather unexpected; music.

And now here I am. Sitting backstage at my own show, waiting patiently for my cue. My foot taps a random rhythm against the floor as I mentally debate with myself whether or not my choice for the opening song truly was the best option.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

He might be watching.

Fair, but would he even recognize me? Does he even remember me at all? I mean, it’s been so long...

I think he’d remember something as sentimental as the song you first played him. I mean, you were the first guy he ever dated.

Yeah, keyword: “ dated “. He’s probably moved on by now.

Shit, do you think he’s found someone new already? What if he brought them to the show?

Nah, nah. That’s highly unlikely. Impossible, even. The latter, that is. It’s not exactly that popular of a show.

Right, you’re right. So there’s nothing to worry about. Hakuna-fuckin-matata, right?

I suck in a sharp breath as the lights come on, laughing dryly.

Hakuna-fuckin-matata.

—

OIKAWA

My hands fiddle with one another as I push my way past the busy crowd to find a spot amongst the front row. A cheery girl with astonishingly-saturated red hair and an almoat-overwhelming brightness about her, greets me. I scoff, amused.

A fangirl, no doubt. Charming.

“ Oikawa! Ohmygoshohmygosh, Oikawa Tooru!! Hi!! I’m—I’m— “

I glance at the front row, which is only a few steps away, as her blubbered words start to blur together. I laugh.

“ A fan, right? Want my autograph or something? A picture, maybe? “

Her eyes light up vastly and she begins to bounce up and down with the same enthusiasm I’ve noticed to be common among practically all fangirls.

“ YES! Ohmygosh, yesyesyesYES!! “

My grin widens as I click my blue pen, which I carry around for autographs ( oh, the pains of being famous ), and hurriedly sign my name on her collared shirt. It was a fairly pretty garment, I’ll admit, but at this moment I didn’t really care, and I’m sure neither did she, judging by the way she squealed excitedly and took a spam of what had to be a million-and-one selfies with it.

I finally find a place among the jumping people at the front, taking in the atmosphere. The lights dim, and brighter white ones turn on in their place.

The show is about to start.

—

IWA

“ Hey, everyone. I— “ The mic whines with feedback. I wince, wrapping my free hand around it and trying again.

“ I’m—I’m opening with a song that’s very dear to me. I wrote it way back in highschool, but it’s always stuck with me, kinda like a safety net...of sorts. I uh, hope you enjoy. “

Shit, why am I being so damn awkward? I’ve never been this awkward before a show. Maybe it’s because of that damn opening song. Oh well. Too late to back out now.

Irritated, I push the thought away, wetting my lips as the drowning claps and whoops from the crowd cheer me on. My hand hovers just over the strings. It’s shaking. No matter. I close my eyes, and imagine him holding them. Him encompassing my hands within the warmth of his, just like he did all those years, which were now lost in the past. Him looking at me, him telling me it’s okay. Him.

I breathe all my nerves out.

Him.

And I begin to play.

The awkwardness melts away almost instantaneously as I pour every dripping ounce of my heart out into the song, the music swelling wildly with every emotion I had forced in for the dreariness of these five years. My eyes shoot open when the chorus hits. I feel like I’m king of the world.

I catch a familiar set of eyes. Richly brown. Deep.

Oh shit.

My breath hitches when I realize who they belong to; Him. His. He-

No, no, it couldn’t be. Could it?

It felt too real, as if I’ve somehow managed to reduce his very existence to nothing but romanticized self indulgent daydreams of what we once had, woven into the vast vagueness of song lyrics with a naïve hope of what could’ve been. And now here he was, at my concert of all places, for god knows what reason. The colourful lights fell upon his face in the most flattering manner, though admittedly I suppose anything would be flattering on him either way. But under this light especially, at my concert, he looked nothing short of perfect. Of lovely.

But of course he was. This was Oikawa-fucking-Tooru, after all.

The chorus hits with a sharp accent. I belt with all that I am, for the boy who took a rough sketch of a dream and made it reality, for the boy who found an unmatched sense of home among those of his highschool volleyball team, for the boy who wound up so foolishly falling in love with his best friend. For him, for my fans, but most of all, for me.

“ But when he loves me, I feel like I’m floating, when he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody— “

I maintain eye contact with him. It’s scary, burning holes into my tattered soul, which I had pieced together so carefully with cathartic lyrics scratched into the pages of creased notebooks. I’m secretly scared that his gaze will somehow break it all down again. But that’s when I finally understand; it’s him. This, this song, it’s about him. It’s always been about him. There will be no one else, could be no one else for me. That...sheer elation, the unfiltered emotion which sparked this song to begin with—I understood now. That was love. More specifically, love which my chest held for Oikawa. It’s as if I’ve been harshly disillusioned to see what I’d been unconsciously denying all these years, seeing him here. It’s always been Oikawa. How could I not have known? After all, I’m constantly recalling the day he held me in a tight embrace after one of our best matches, happy tears staining my damp jersey as he whispered in my ear the praise I’ve subconsciously always wished to hear.

“ You did good. “

Though it seems painfully mundane, simple to anyone else, it was...different, coming from his lips, hearing it in his voice. I took that compliment and kept it close to me for all eternity, immortalizing it within the varying notes of this song. I stare right back at him with a newfound fervour, an unknown intent, a epiphanic strength.

“ Even when we fade eventually to nothing, you will always be my favourite form of lovely. “

His eyes widen.

—

OIKAWA

My heart clenches as Iwa freely powers through the rest of the song. But during this moment, it feels as though it was created solely for us. As if the universe, as if fate itself had decided that despite the harshness of this world, and every little force fighting to keep us apart, this one moment, if anything, was ours. Truly ours. Our song, our moment. Ours. Time suspended itself indefinitely as the onyx hearth of his gaze finally met with mine. Unexpectedly enough, it stayed there.

And everything fell into place.

The song didn’t take me to a paradise without tears, or pain, or sorrow anymore. It took me to a place with Iwa in it. I realize now that...I want the tears. I want the pain. I want the grief. I want the good and the bad and the light and the dark, so long as I can have Iwa there with me through it all. I want him. All of him. I’ve want to love him enough to love his “ unglam “ moments and his admirable aspects all the same. I want to be there with him through every body-wrecking tear, every hearty laugh, and every glimmer of happiness. I want to be able to see the face he makes during a scary movie, to open an umbrella for him during the rain. I want to see the sunlight glow upon his cheek, I want to count the stars with him until I fall asleep. I want everything about him, for to me, he is everything. And it’s this song...this damned song which brought it all back.

It was ours. And I realize now...it was about...me. I mean, I’ll admit that I’ve always been a little more on the conceited side, but how could you deny it? It had to be. It had to. Had to. I wanted it to, at least. I wanted it to be about me so desperately, it sent a cold pain through my chest. A single, lonely tear falls down my cheek as the crowd around me erupts into a sea of laughter and off-tune singing from the audience.

What if it wasn’t? I mean, you guys broke up. You told him you moved on. Yes, it was a lie to lessen the pain, but he didn’t know that. What if it was about someone else completely and you’d just been an idiot this whole time? What if—

The concert comes to a close much faster than I thought it would, much faster than I would’ve ever wished for it to. I don’t know what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, but my legs move before I even have a chance to question them. I’ve always been one to think before acting, hence why I’m such a star on the court, but this time, my emotions seem to be taking over. I don’t know what’s come over me, what this unusual, hot feeling is. It’s exciting and intimidating all at once, and I hate it because I know what it must be. In a hot flash, I find myself standing at the door of Iwa’s changing room. How many bodyguards I must have recklessly shoved out of the way to get here in the blur of adrenaline, I don’t even want to begin to think about.

My hand freezes over the door. “ Iwa “ is engraved in bold gold letters with a deeply-etched star sticking out at the bottom. Taking a deep breath, I knock frantically.

“ I-Iwa-chan? It’s uh...it’s Oikawa. “

—

IWA

I pause in the midst of buttoning up my shirt. A solid three are left undone. But his voice...how could I ignore it? Ignore him? I haven’t heard his voice in what feels like eternity, but I’d be kidding myself if I had said I’d forgotten it. The constant yearning was always so irritating. Such a pain. At least it made for decent music, I mean, I’ve been booking shows. But alas, one problem before another.

“ O-Oikawa? “ I slowly pace to the doorknob as I twist it open.

Holy shit.

It is him after all. He hasn’t changed a bit. He remains the charming, handsome man I remember him to be, even after all this time has passed.

“ How’d you get—why are you here? “

“ Iwa, there’s...there’s just...there’s something I need to ask. “

“ Huh? “

“ That song...our song.... “

“ Shit, right! I, uh...sorry. I didn’t ask you about it because I honestly didn’t expect you to show up at all. It’s been what, five years? “ I stumble subtly over my words, rubbing the back of my neck.

He turns away sheepishly. Almost...longingly, even.

“ Yeah...it has. “

He clicks his tongue.

“ Who, uh...who was that song about? The curiosity’s been eating at me. “

A heat rises to my cheeks. A pause.

“ I—It—Ugh, fuck it. “

I’ve never been the best at talking directly to Oikawa, not since I realized that what I felt for him extended to something past the bounds of friendship. So I decided to do the only thing I knew to do in that moment—show him instead.

My lips crash against his as he slams the door behind him. The palpable tension between us is shattered immediately, and everything is faded out into insignificance. All that matters is the man in my arms, the man I’d been longing so desperately, so hopelessly for all this fucking time. I kiss him against the smoothness of the door, hands immediately trailing to his soft locks. I twirl and twine them as I see flashes, bright hues of heaven itself. His lips upon mine are the most perfect fit. His touch is painfully intoxicating, and I show him, wordlessly, with an unparalleled fervour—just who the song was about. He melts into it, matching my energy with a foreign sense of passion.

—

OIKAWA

“ Do you think...the universe is gonna try to separate us again? “ I ask softly, voice barely even a whisper. Tears wet my lashes at the very thought of being without him again. For those five years, though I was living my dream...it didn’t feel complete. Not without him. I blink them away aggressively, focusing on the night sky above us. My head is resting in his lap, and we’re simply...existing together beneath the curtain of darkened pools which hung above our twined bodies.

Iwa strokes my hair nonchalantly as he interlocks his fingers with mine. “ Of course. It always will. But we found each other didn’t we? And even after...even after this life has passed and we’re reduced to nothing but ash, I’m convinced we’ll meet again. One way or another. “

He tucks a straying tuft of hair from brushing my lashes.

“ Even then...even then you’ll still be my favourite form of lovely. Or whatever. “ He scoffs at his own over-poetic response, looking away with a tiny smirk.

“ Okay, Mr. Songwriter! “ I tease, nudging his side in a playful manner.

He rolls his eyes, bending down to kiss me once more.

For the first time in a long time, I feel complete. I’m on cloud 9.

[flowerslightning]

The Act of Recognizing and Missing Someone - Cloud Strife with Tifa edition

Ever wondered how on earth Cloud could quickly tell the girl inside the chocobo car was Tifa? Well, I do. This is just a gibberish and a little bit educational talk.. But here's what I found. Quite interesting (and hella confusing) for me

 It’s kinda hard to explain, I don’t really understand this topic, unlike this part here where I explained about Cloud’s messed up memories. But I still want to share this with u guys.

Disclaimer : I'm still a student (or am I? This quarantine sucks) Psychiatric/Psychology/Neurobiology arent my major field. The interpretations I’ve made here probably have some errors here and there. Pls correct me if I’m wrong or misleading u

The biggest question is, how comes we can recognize someone's face? How well our brain able to detect someone's facial features, body postures and even voices to the point we can recall their name? This is a hard topic,so im just gonna focus on the visual part.

We all have been asking this to ourselves, how on earth Cloud was able to recognize the girl in the chocobo car was Tifa by just looking behind her back. It seems impossible, does it? Nothing is impossible for fictional world, ahahah.. But it actually makes sense in real life

And here's the answer based on what I've read and understood.

Our brain can be divided into six sections, and each section has their own functions and neurons. Based on studies, the sections inside the brain has something that we can call as ‘Face Patches’. It contains a numerous amount of specific neurons that help us to code ‘faces’ and recall memory/facts in our brain. So, when we look at someone, this patches work their cell and recall a name/fact. Some people can recognize a face fast while others need time to identify a face. Everyone has different ability for face recognising

In the region of our brain, one of them associated with ‘declarative memory’, it consists of facts and events that can be consciously recalled. Declarative memory can be further divided into two group - Episodic Memory and Semantic Memory. Focus on Episodic Memory, just like how the name suggest, its a ‘repeating’ of something, either event, places, associated emotions and even the faces. Cloud had lots of ‘episodic memory’ with Tifa, from when he was a kid till he became an adult.

Face recognition feels effortless compare to body posture. But actually both are challenging computational problem, especially the body posture part- eg the way someone walk, the way they jump etc. However, studies show that when u have a ‘connection’ with that person, just by looking behind the person’s back or look at the way they walk, the neurons inside your brain can work really fast to detect who that person is. It also involves with the hormones u have at that moment. The deeper connection u have with them, the faster ur brain work. So, u dont really have that A-HAA moment when u meet someone u’re connected with. The connection- or specifically the emotions we have has a particularly strong influence on attention, especially in motivating someone’s action and behavior. When u were shopping with ur mom and suddenly u got lost, u couldnt remember what color of ur mom’s dress but ur somewhat ‘instinct’ (kinda similar like how a cub loses its mom. They will hurry to find them) told ur eyes to go look for her sight. When ur brain memory detect someone ‘familiar’ like ur mom and u went to approach her, the neurons of ‘Face Patches’ would do its job to recognize the face and tell either that woman was ur mom or not.

So, based on this comprehension. I have 3 theories or understanding on how Cloud could immediately tell that girl was Tifa . 

First, bcause we all knew he and Tifa were childhood friends. So, his brain was already familiar with Tifa’s body posture. Besides knowing that Cloud had a crush on her since young, pretty sure that boy always had his eyes on her (and until now, he still has it). So Cloud really got attached with Tifa in many ways. However, the prob is, didnt they got separated for at least 5 years, and Tifa’s body has changed, how could Cloud implied the memory of younger Tifa to this older Tifa? Okaaay, lets see if my second theory can support this statement

My second theory, Cloud was so used to watch Tifa’s back, wasnt he? Since he was a kid, he wanted to approach Tifa and the gang but he couldnt. So I assumed he always stay behind, watching Tifa’s back while the other kids were playing around. Plus, he also followed Tifa to the mountain and he watched her back. There was a scene where Cloud mistaken a kid at the Sector 5 slum to Tifa kid. And in the Crisis Core, he stayed behind the team and there he watched Tifa’s back in 15y/o version again. So, his memory about Tifa body posture was intact in his mind. Girls’ body got mature early and fast. I dont think there was much difference between 15y/o and 20y/o Tifa’s back posture and her hair. Her hair did get longer but u cant really tell how long the hair was through the chocobo car window. 

Combining the memories Cloud had about Tifa’s body posture + he was deeply connected with her, this allowed Cloud to recognize Tifa immediately without needing the A-HA I REMEMBER U moment. The neurons inside his brain already have specific details about Tifa (cough.. lifestream. Damn u Cloud. ur brain is just filled with TIFA TIFA TIFA) + and also thanks to certain hormones that played a role here, Cloud could effortlessly recall her name upon meeting her figure.

The last theory would be bcause he missed and wanted to see Tifa till he saw other black haired girl as her. His brain had been repeatedly played the images of Tifa and certain hormones encouraged him to believe that girl was Tifa. I dont really understand the psychology of missing someone, but what I can conclude is, when u miss someone and u cant see them, the emotional pain u feel may harm ur physical a bit, depends on how well u deal with them. Some people will do crazy stuff to satisfy their need to avoid the ‘physical harm’, although certain acts will actually give them real physical injury. So, when Cloud running to the chocobo car without really need a confirmation that girl was Tifa might be bcause his brain tried to avoid the emotional pain that could give his physical distress. Imagine if the girl in the chocobo car wasnt Tifa, Cloud would be super duper upset. But well, Cloud missed Tifa was just a theory of mine. 

Mistaken some strangers is a normal response in our daily life. It could be bcause of certain hormones inside our body were playing tricks with our neurons brain and we mistaken somebody as someone we wanted to see (am I using the correct words here? RIP english vocabs and grammars) Have u ever been in a situation where u miss someone, that person always linger inside ur head to the point that strangers kinda look like them? Or maybe u’re too scared of someone that everyone around u looked like them? Or maybe u just have lost ur little sister that tied her hair in ponytail and u often mistaken little girl with the same hairstyle as her? All of these not only related with the neurons in ur brain, but also memories and hormones took place here too. U ‘missed’ that person and u were hoping to see them very soon

Overall, I would say, Cloud’s neurons, memories, hormones and his desire to meet up with Tifa again, he could quickly tell the girl inside the chocobo car was really Tifa and ran to her without hesitation. He didnt need that “Hey, that girl looks familiar. Have I meet her somewhere.. A-HA, I KNOW THAT WOMAN! SHE’S TIFA, my childhood friend” moment. He had deep emotions with Tifa and had a strong desire to meet her soon. Thus, his brain already arranged the specific neurons that contained Tifa’s information. By the time Cloud saw her sight, in just a few seconds, he could recall the name in his brain.

Cloud need the ‘A-HA, I remember u’ moment when he met with Aerith. He didnt recognized Aerith’s face at all, not until Aerith mentioned about the flowers. Cloud remembered the flower (probably bcause he gave the flower to Tifa? Cloud had deep emotions with her) but not Aerith’s face. Again, I say, this is a normal act bcause Cloud didnt have any emotion with her to remember on that moment, but later on, Cloud (AC) cherished the yellow flower.

That’s it. Thank you for being with me till the end. 

[shotos-kettle]

Winters love (M)

Word count: 2,692

Inspired by Neptunecw and Flightofbats tiktok 

Written while listening to the song below ♡

UA wasn't known for its cold wintery days, unlike other times of the year it was mostly sunny even if just a tad bit on the chilly side. The staff did its best to make sure the campus stayed pretty warm but ever since the villain attacks started up their central heating system had been on the fritz, some days it was blazing hot in the winter, and other days it was freezing cold. So they made sure all students knew to keep a jacket in their lockers just in case. However, some of the students continued to forget about their heating system issues, completely disregarding things as they sat in classes shivering, Ochako Uraraka being one of them.

Her foot tapped against the bar of the chair in front of her,  her skin covered in goosebumps as she tried desperately to pay attention to what Aizawa sensei was teaching them, but it proved to be harder than she imagined. Normally the cold wouldn't affect her as much but it had snowed the night before she knew Bakugou was most likely irritated with her constant tapping and she was thankful he hadn't turned around and yelled at her yet. Of course it was safe to say that he was passed out cold against his notebook so she was at least safe for a little while.

Halfway through their lesson Bakugou lifted his head, causing Uraraka to freeze completely as he turned around to look at her. "Pink cheeks stop shakin the damn chair I'm tryin to sleep here." She blinked as he looked her over for a moment before grunting with a roll of his eyes. He reached down into his back and pulled out a large black and orange hoodie,  tossing it over onto her desk. "Next time bring a jacket kay?" He grumbled as he turned back around to return to his nap, a yawn leaving his lips.

Uraraka stared at the jacket that laid over her work, eyes wide as she glanced around the classroom, Denki and Kirishima were both staring at her with wide eyes, making a gesture with their hands as if to tell her to just put it on and don't argue.  "T-thanks.." She whispered softly as she slipped her arms into the much too large hoodie that almost swallowed her whole, immediately being overwhelmed by the scent of Bakugou. Caramel and vanilla… it consumed her as she zipped the hoodie up and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to keep herself from floating off her seat from pure embarrassment.  

He had been fairly nice to her and it flustered her beyond her own beliefs,  sure she got flustered around Deku but that's just because it's Deku… Bakugou being nice to her was unheard of so it truly affected her in ways she really didn't want it to and for the rest of their lecture her mind was a misty place.

Once class was over she tapped Bakugou's shoulder, clearing her throat softly as he turned to face her, shaking his head. "Dont." He said quickly as he got up and nodded to Kirishima, yelling something about sparring in the training grounds, she watched as the two of them headed out of the classroom. "Woah what was that about?"  She looked over at Mina and shrugged, gathering her things as she stood, the hoodie coming to rest just above her knees. "I'm not sure… Bakugou being nice is strange, but I guess he didn't realize he woke up earlier and let me borrow this." Her hands smoothed over the front of the soft material.

"I don't know Ura… He's not one to just forget things he does half asleep." Mina laughed as she shook her head, draping her arm around Uraraka's shoulders. "But damn it does smell nice though doesn't it? I wonder what cologne he uses that smells this good." This pulled a chuckle from the rosy cheeked female, shaking her head softly. She knew it wasn't Cologne, she had been close enough to Bakugou during training to know that this was all him, and it really didn't bother her.  "I don't know, but I'll have to return it soon. Maybe I'll sneak into his room and leave it. But hey, you wanna go shopping?? I heard there are some sales going on at the mall!" Mina just grinned at the girl and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the classroom, passing Bakugou and Kirishima who were standing just outside the classroom.

"So when are you gonna tell her?" The red headed male asked as he watched the two girls run down the hall. He turned to look at Bakugou, snorting as he waved his hand in front of the usually grumpy male. "Yo, earth to Katsuki, come on man stop staring you're gonna burn your notes again."  This snapped Bakugou back out of his trance, dropping the smouldering notebook in the process. "Shit! Damn it i gotta stop doing that!" He groaned, stomping on the notebook to smother the fire that had started around the edges of the cover. "I don't know shitty hair, maybe I'll never tell her. I don't want to distract her from hero training.."

"Or do you not want to get rejected? Come on dude it's obvious she likes you! And you have to admit… She does look fine as hell wearing your hoodie." Kirishima nudged Bakugou's shoulder, his words resulted in a solid punch to the jaw. "Shut the hell up, don't talk like that about her." He knew Kirishima was right but what the hell was he thinking? Talking about her like that especially in front of everyone. "Lets just go spar. I need to get my head out of the clouds, i couldnt sleep last night because stupid Deku and Denki were watching movies all night in Deku's room. God, I wish they would just have a regular sleep schedule like everyone else." He rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he made his way towards the exit.

-~-

One month had passed since He had lent his jacket out to Uraraka, and they hadn't seen much of each other since she was deep into her work study at this point so he hadn't had the chance to ask her about getting his hoodie back. However, the students who had work studies had been given a few days off so he figured now was a better time than any. As he walked into the door he looked around, spotting a tuft of red hair disappearing into the kitchen. "Hey, shitty hair, you seen pink cheeks?" He called out, Kirishima poked his head around the corner and nodded, pointing over to the stairs. "Her room." Bakugou nodded and headed up the stairs, taking two at a time as usual.

Heading down the hall he noticed her door was cracked slightly, he took a deep breath as he stood there in front of it for a moment before lifting his hand to knock, the door swinging open slightly. "Hey pink cheeks, do you still have my jacket-?" His words faltered as he saw her curled up in the little loveseat seat she had placed in the corner of her room, dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and his hoodie. Fuck, she was so cute. How could someone who was so smart and loud at the same time be so fucking beautiful even after going through hell. He bit his lip as he slipped inside, closing the door behind him as a small smile graced his lips. He quietly made his way over to her and lifted her into his arms, a sigh leaving him as he moved her over to her bed. "You shouldn't sleep like that, you'll get back problems…" he whispered, more to himself than to her since he knew she wouldn't hear him anyway.

As he went to cover her up so he could leave her to sleep a hand wrapped around his wrist, sleepy eyes peering up at him while he leaned over her. "Katsuki?.." Fuck, he had woken her up. His jaw went slack as he tried to find something to say, which he couldn't at the moment, because the look in her eyes was something he wasn't used to seeing directed towards him. "I'm sorry, I meant to return it… i just got so busy." She spoke softly, sitting up in bed as she held onto his wrist, her free hand rubbing at her eyes and once she looked up at him again she froze. Their noses just barely touching as they looked back at one another.

For a few moments the two of them just sat there, staring into each other's eyes before Bakugou made the first move. He closed the space between their lips, kissing her gently as he reached out to cup her cheek, thumb stroking over her rosy cheeks. Her eyes widening as she was slowly pushed back onto her bed, Bakugou moving to hover over her as their lips parted. "K-Katsuki… What are you doing?" Her words were breathless, and he knew she hadn't expected to be kissed, he just couldn't help it when she had that look in her eyes. His thumb traced over her bottom lip as he sighed heavily. "Sorry…"

As he moved to get off the bed she reached out and pulled him back down, this time wrapping her legs around his waist as she kissed him, her fingers tangling into his messy blonde locks. She had been waiting for so long to take this type of chance with him and she had never even dreamed that he would be the one to make the first move. He was always so aggravated with everyone, and after everything that had happened she was afraid he had closed himself off completely. The kiss had proved her wrong and she was going to take that leap of faith and she wasn't going to look back.

Bakugou tilted his head into the kiss, shifting around slightly so he could move into a position where he wouldn't crush her with his weight,  his heart was pounding and the amount of adrenaline running through him was starting to cause him to sweat. A small groan left his throat when she bit down on his bottom lip, the slight pain pulling him back to the real world for a minute. He pulled back and stared down at her, licking his lips. "Okay, one.. the door isn't locked. And two.. how long?" He asked, knowing that she knew exactly what he meant by how long. He watched the rosiness of her cheeks spread to her ears. As she looked away shyly. "Since the training camp."

She pushed at his shoulders, pushing him towards the headboard so she could get up and move to lock her door. When she turned back to face him she smiled softly, flicking the lights off so they were only bathed in the light of the evening sun. "Doors locked now…" A smirk formed on the blonde's lips as he watched her saunter back over, his hands reaching out to rest on her hips while she crawled onto his lap, their lips coming together in another kiss that was filled with so much desire that it sent shivers down his spine. As her fingers ran down his chest he slowly slipped his hands down the back of her shorts, grabbing two handfuls of those luscious globes that always had him so distracted when she fought.

A moan left Uraraka's lips, her head tipping back as she tugged at his hair gently. The lips that were occupying her own now traced down along the expanse of her throat, the hands on her hips guided her to grind down against him. Her eyes widened as she left his erection pressing up against her, nails digging into his scalp when he bit down on her shoulder after leaving a dark hickey to blossom on her pale skin. She quickly unbuttoned his shirt so she could push it off his shoulders and toss it on the floor. Her hips lifted slightly so she could scoot back, leaning down to leave a trail of kisses down the center of his chest. His eyes never left hers as she slowly pulled his sweats down, nearly drooling as she took his cock into her mouth.

There was a knock on the door as his cock hit the back of her throat, his eyes widened as his hand gripped her hair tight, a finger lifted to his lips to keep her quiet. "I don't care who it is but go away!" He yelled, picking up the nearest thing, being a book so he could chuck it at the door. There was a squeak from the other side before he heard footsteps retreat. He looked back down at Uraraka who had his cock deep into the back of her throat, a look in her eyes that told him he needed to prepare himself. Which he wasn't able to do quick enough as she swallowed around his length, "holy fuck a-ahh." His head thunked back against the headboard as she pulled off of him slowly.

"Mmh.. Katsuki~" Uraraka licked a slow stripe against the underside of his length, watching his eyes nearly roll back just from the feeling. "Please.. I want you to be my first." She whispered, placing a gentle kiss to the head of his length. He nodded and shifted, watching her as she wiggled out of her shorts, tossing them somewhere in the room. She turned so she was on her hands and knees, then as Bakugou positioned himself behind her her chest dropped down against the sheets, her back arching to show him the damp spot that had formed on her panties.  

Oh gods he was going to love tearing that ass up, he had dreamed about this moment for so many nights and now the one thing he had lusted after for so long was right in front of him. "Gods your ass is amazing Ochako.." He whispered as he spread her cheeks, thumb dipping under the hem of her panties to pull them aside. If he didn't have as much self control as he normally did he would be drooling, she was barren, no hair in sight and just the most delicious shade of pink. He moved forwards on his knees, one hand moving to press against the curve of her spine as he pressed into her and as that deliciously tight heat wrapped around his cock he knew that was it. This girl was going to be his, from this moment on she belonged to him and he belonged to her, if anyone tried to hurt her he would kill them.

"You're mine, you got that Pink cheeks?" He grunted out as he snapped his hips forward, penetrating deep within her core, the head bottoming out against her cervix. He only gained a nod in return, but as he rolled his hips in a teasingly slow manner she got the hint. "Y-Yes Katsuki~" She mewled as the feeling of him deep inside, hips pressing back against his as a hard slap resonated around them, her ass stinging as she let out a lewd moan. "That's a good girl~" he had purred, he fucking purred. His words dripped sex and his hands simmered against her skin as they fell into a passionate push and pull of want, need and hunger.

The air between them would never be the same after tonight and he knew he was never getting his hoodie back, not that he even wanted it back in the first place. It looked too good on her, hell maybe he would give her some more of his clothes for her to wear when it was just the two of them. Though the inevitable chaos in the morning barely graced his mind as his eyes held steady on the sweet jiggle of her ass as he pounded her into the mattress, bed knocking against the wall without a care as they lost themselves in each other's bliss.

[totheendofthelinepal]

MAN OF HONOR (PART FIVE)

Summary: You were dreading a certain wedding you were involved in, desperate to find a suitable date that could pass as your fake boyfriend. Luckily, Bucky Barnes had nothing better to do.

Notes: NSFW (18+), Swearing

The scent that woke you was something you were familiar with, and you had wondered if it had still been night time. Opening your eyes, you managed to get a look to the clock at the side of your bed. It was nearly 2 a.m., You had just laid down to sleep 3 hours ago. Sighing out, you know felt the presence of warmth move across your bare back. You smiled slowly, knowing just where the touch came from. The touch was soft, and you could hear the skin on skin contact in a soft whisper. Letting your eyes close once again, you took in the touch - your body relaxing with every movement. You were still undressed, and you could feel Bucky clearly hadn’t dressed either. The hand moved away, and you frowned slightly - that was until you felt the warmth now of a soft kiss. The fingertips brushed away any hair that was on your back, giving him access to kiss along your spine - your neck. 

“To what do I owe this kind of wake up?” You spoke quietly, your voice still sore from what had happened earlier.

“Shh.” Bucky laughed lightly, pressing his lips once again across your back.

You bit back a grin, feeling his hands now move away the sheet covering your backside. You shivered out, feeling the brush of his fingertips along the back of your legs, moving to the small of your back.

“What are you doing, Barnes?” You giggled now, feeling slightly tickled.

“You really know how to ruin a moment, dont you?” Bucky finally teased, stopping his actions. 

You continued your giggling, turning to lay your back on the bed. You took in the sight in a grin, his hair in complete mess - his lips still slightly swollen. You couldn’t believe it, but you even saw a small red mark placed on his chest. Placing your finger, you ran across it - you had never given a man one before.

“Did I do that?” Your eyes grew wide, wondering if it hurt.

“You sure did, Doll.” Bucky grinned, “And I wasn’t kidding about the other one. Still have it.”

“No way.” You chuckled, and sure enough - he positioned himself to let you look, and there rested another red mark just above his waist. 

“You did that before you gave me a little treat, I’m assuming.” Bucky smiled, “I still want to know what happened to that dresser over there.”

Suddenly you felt fear struck you, and you did your best to hide it. You remember distinctly being told you weren’t that great at going down on a man. You swallowed, and Bucky’s brow furrowed in confusion - he knew something was wrong.

“You alright?” His hand had reached your jaw, making soft circles to the skin.

“Uhh, yeah-“ you choked out, “Ive just been told I’m not the greatest at-“

“Blowjobs?” Bucky knitted his brow, and you hit him softly.

“Yeah.” You sighed, now pulling the sheet over yourself again.

“I highly doubt that, darlin’” Bucky half smiled, his hand falling just above your waist.

“Yeah well, you can’t exactly remember. It’s a good thing its sex I guess.” You flickered your eyes from him finally, knowing if you kept his stare you would melt into him again.

You felt his lips again, now placed firmly to your shoulder. Biting your lip you tried to ignore the touch, but his hands only pulled you more into his embrace.

“It’s not.” He whispered out against your skin, his eyes finding you once more.

You moved hesitantly again, letting yourself find the piercing eyes. As always you lost yourself, his eyes had a way of doing that. 

“It’s not what.” You spoke quietly, already knowing what he meant.

“Just sex.” Bucky’s eyes fell to to the rest of your body, “When you walked into the compound. I knew I was in trouble.”

You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, “Why is that?” 

“Because those big damn eyes-“ Bucky laughed softly, “As soon as they looked to me, I was done for.”

The building flutter to your chest was unlike anything you had experienced, and you wondered if he was just saying these things to deter you from closing him off. 

“Every time you came over, I had hoped someone, anyone would get you to laugh.” Bucky nearly whispered, “It’s the most beautiful sound i’ve heard since the 40s. Back then was incredible, and every time you laugh. I just- I feel like me, again. I just feel like a guy from Brooklyn who caught the eye of a beautiful woman like you.”

You couldn’t help it, but you even started to tear at his words. No man had ever said something like that to you, not to mention he wasn’t faltering in his gaze - keeping his promise yet again, he wasn’t going to let go.

“Bucky-“

“I know, way too much.” He laughed nervously now, his body falling back to the bed, “I haven’t even taken you on a date yet.”

In that moment you searched your thoughts, but nothing came to you. You had no words, mostly because no one had ever confessed something like that to you. You never knew, in all this time of the visits with Wanda - the times you would see him in the background, keeping quiet. Now that you knew, it hit you like a freight train. Bucky Barnes got to you, more than anyone had in years. That wall you had built, he started to force cracks - make his way into your heart. You swallowed out, feeling a heaviness that was almost comforting in your chest. 

“Well then lets go.” You smiled softly, and his eyes met you in confusion.

“Excuse me?” He smiled, and you suddenly wanted to keep that smile - look at it for ages.

“On a date.” You grinned now, placing your hands on the bare chest.

“Where did you have in mind, Doll?” Bucky chuckled out, “You and I both have no idea what we’re doing here.”

“Well then that’s our date. Explore. Go into London, wherever.” You couldn’t help the excitement any more, wanting to get to know Bucky even more, “Like the 40s. Show me how you’d take a girl out in those days.”

He looked to you amusement, “Okay.”

You laughed out, bringing your lips to meet the softness of his. You gained a confidence suddenly, moving your legs to swing around his waist in deepening the action. You moved slowly, until Bucky’s hands had stopped you.

“I want this.” He breathed out, his fingers tapping lightly to your bottom lip.

The both of you raised, leaving you to his lap - his hands placed behind him on the bed.

“Bucky-“ You blinked, taking a deep breath.

“If you don’t want to, it’s alright.” He smiled softly, “But I promise you, I’ll enjoy it.”

“Its been so long since I have-“ You bit your lip, giving him an almost timid smile.

“I’ll help you.” His eyes searched you, just before placing his lips to you gently. 

You couldn’t believe yourself, but wanted to. You wanted to do this. Once you started to move, you saw Bucky smile in assurance to you - moving away your hair in adoration. Your hands ran along the front of his thighs, and he only nodded to you. You leaned forward, his body angling just enough for your lips to find his waist. You heard the sharp intake of breath above you, your eyes meeting Bucky in a smile. You moved your hands, taking him to position at the front of your lips. His hands found your hair, and you appreciated the soft gesture of his fingers in the strands. You finally let go, bringing just your lips to the head - dipping your tongue lightly to the tip.

“Fuck.” Bucky breathed out, “You’re already doing better than you think.”

You took the comment in confidence, wrapping your already wet lips around him. You went as far as you possibly could, your hands covering what your mouth couldn’t - You were genuinely surprised hearing a low groan emit his throat, and you managed to make eye contact. He nodded quickly, guiding the back of your hair upwards. You moved the tip of your tongue in the movement, hearing Bucky practically lose his breath above you. It was gentle, but nonetheless working by the sounds he was making.

“That feels good.” Bucky rasped out, his hands gripping to your hair to keep it from falling, “So fucking good.”

Your hands moved elsewhere, and you hadn’t a clue why you thought of it. You gripped below him, and in only a second - He jolted lightly forward. Your eyes watched his abdomen move quickly, thinking to yourself that what you were doing clearly felt good. Your raised your lips again, almost removing yourself completely. Delving your tongue once more, you felt a twitch now hit - signaling that he was close. You repeated your actions once again, and your eyes watched as his back fell completely to the bed. You waited, gripping once again - his body had finally stilled. Removing yourself, you wiped away any left at your lips - moving to hover over him once again. 

“Whoever told you-“ Bucky breathed out, “That you were not good at that, was sadly mistaken.”

You smiled timidly again, now laying to the side of him. It only took a moment before he moved your frame to place at his chest. You felt yourself beginning to let go, let go of any of the past hurt - and you finally relaxed to the sound of Bucky’s heartbeat, drifting you into sleep.

The pitched chatter was already beginning to give you a headache, so much that your mind drifted elsewhere. Your eyes stayed to your hands, trying to remember where they were last night. You’d never been so taken back by a man. But with everything in you, you were completely captured by Bucky Barnes. Not only did he make you forget entirely of Eric, he made you feel more of yourself than anyone ever did. It was a funny thing, it was like he knew your body far better than you did. He knew just where to touch, to kiss, to go. It already made your palms sweat at the thought. You replayed the memories of last night, almost laughing at the window fiasco. But no it didnt stop there, he couldnt get enough of you - what happened in your room was much more than you had expected, but you enjoyed. Every goddamn second of it. Taking a deep breath, your eyes finally flickered back to the company you had. It was mostly your sister’s wedding party - and a few other women that had come to visit for breakfast. Your little sister explained that making an appearance would at least be courteous. As much as you fought against it, part of you felt guilty of the small outburst at dinner last night - the least you could do was pretend to enjoy a small breakfast with women you had nothing in common with. 

“Oh-” 

Your attention was adverted from your thoughts, looking in confusion to your cousin - Stacy. 

“Holy shit.” You little sister now choked out.

You finally knitted your brow, seeing that every single one of the women had their eyes fixated to the kitchen window. You hesitantly turned, and your mouth dropped to the sight. Bucky was walking around the kitchen, and you assumed he was looking for food. You bit your lip to see that he was dressed only in his briefs, his tight black briefs. Not being able to control yourself, you practically snickered - the briefs were more revealing than he knew. Outlining every part of him, every impressive part. 

“I think my downstairs just cried.” Stacy choked out, quickly downing her mimosa. 

“Ditto.”

You turned back, hearing the voice of none other than Olivia. God was that satisfying hearing Eric’s fiancee glaring directly at Bucky’s ass. 

“Its perfect, isnt it?” Stacy now slowly turned to you, her eyes not being able to peel away.

“What?” You laughed out, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Come on, we can clearly see how bloody big he is. Fuck.” Stacy shook her head, now grabbing your sisters’ drink.

“And to think, she gets to shag that every night.” Olivia tipped her glass, almost as if she was giving you a toast.

You took a breath, trying to bite back your grin. You watched carefully as the girls fumbled, and you felt a familiar warm hand to your shoulder.

“Good morning, ladies.” Bucky gruffed out, and you heard the embarassingly giggling hellos. 

You quickly rose to your feet, and Bucky gave you a amusing smirk - oh he knew. You took a breath again, as the girls watched the both of you carefully. Just when you thought it wouldnt get as tense - you saw another frame walking towards the group.

“Baby, you forgot your purse-” Eric took a halt, seeing Bucky now in front of the women. 

“Good morning.” Bucky grinned widely, placing his hand to the small of your back. 

You wanted to burst into laughter, watching Eric’s eyes fall directly to Bucky’s crotch. His mouth hung open in anger, and he quickly adverted to his fiancee. 

“Thank you, Honey.” Olivia smiled, and the girls almost seemed like Eric was entirely invisible. 

Bucky took the opportunity, and before you could hesitate - he pulled you into his lips. Beginning to lose your breath, you felt the soft touch of his tongue at your lip - clearly telling who you belonged to. When you pulled away, you turned in embarassment - the girls nearly biting their lips. 

“I’ll see you later.” Bucky spoke softly, his eyes dancing across your features, “We’re still going out?”

You could only nod, giving him a soft hum. As soon as he began to walk away, the girls definitely made sound of encouragement and laughter.

“I saw that tongue, jesus christ” You little sister giggled, “He isnt shy.”

“Uh no, hes not” You bit back a grin, and the girls took notice of your slight innuendo.

You couldnt believe it, but you couldnt contain your giggling - feeling yourself revert back to a teenage girl. You turned to see Eric, completely still and dumbfounded - he gave Olivia a quick kiss before making his exit. After a few minutes of slight teasing, the girls continued in their wedding talk - but with what had just happened, your mind was now running faster more than ever with thoughts of what was coming later tonight.

Once most of the ladies made their way from the house, they all managed to get one last look to Bucky in the kitchen - and you couldn’t help but laugh as he charmingly waved goodbye to them. You stayed behind only a moment, seeing Eric now emerge in the kitchen. You made yourself scarce, just behind the wall to hear what the asshole had to say.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Eric snapped quietly, and you could hear him place a cup to the table.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bucky sighed out, clearly already annoyed.

“What? You couldn’t take five seconds to get dress? flaunt yourself in front of all the women?” Eric blurted out, and you could hear the anger in his voice.

“Oh I’m sorry, I was so tired. Didn’t really think about it, I had a long night.” You heard the smug tone, causing you to grin proudly.

“That little show, was inappropriate. Her mother saw, you ass.” Eric commented, and your mouth dropped.

They saw what happened in the window.

“Funny. Is that why she was blushing this morning?” Bucky quipped, and you covered your mouth to keep from laughing.

“Whatever, dude. Just so you know, her and I were incredible together. amazing, even. You’re just sloppy seconds.” Eric now used a harsh tone.

You turned ever slightly, getting only a small view of the exchange.

You heard Bucky laugh lightly, shaking his head as Eric stood before him in complete anger. You were surprised that Bucky hadnt taken it out on him just yet, but there he was keeping his patience.

“You know you’re trying to tell me that the both of you were great together-” Bucky quipped out, “But you couldnt seem to man up, the only reason your goddamn balls were blue could possibly be you didnt get to taste her fully, if you know what I mean. experience every part of her. Because she’s a goddamn goddess. By the way, shes far better with her mouth. But of course, you know that.”

You watched Eric’s jaw tense to his words, “Screw you.”

“Afraid your beautiful ex girlfriend already did, pal.” Bucky took a breath, “Don’t cry to me because you were a idiot. The reason the sex was no good wasn’t her, it was you jackass.”

Your mouth dropped, watching Bucky now leave the kitchen in full confidence. 

You shut the door behind you, now seeing Bucky fully clothed. You bit your lip in a smile, feeling incredibly lucky at how much he stood up for you. You sighed to the sight of him, he looked more than handsome - you were starting to let yourself fall, and as much as it terrified you, you didnt mind. His words rang out in the back of your mind. 

He wasn’t going to let you go.

Bucky finally took note of your lingering look, giving you a smirk of amusement. He was wrapped in a sweater today, that fitted his body well - his short hair in the slight curl that was beginning to drive you crazy. 

“Ready to go?” He winked, walking to you with an extended hand. 

You only nodded, afraid that if you spoke out - you would blurt out every emotion you were feeling.

The two of you had spent exactly three hours, finally ending up in a small hole in the wall cafe. Thankfully they served hot chocolate - the air was much cooler than the both of you had expected. You heard the echoing of laughter between the two of you, and it made you think. First dates were usually awkward, trying to impress the other - fumbling for topics to speak about. But here the two of you were, giggling over the stories he told you of him and Steve growing up. Most of the day you spent listening, giving Bucky the chance to really express himself to you - and you enjoyed every minute. Getting to know him was quickly becoming the most fun you had in years. 

“You what?” You laughed out, hearing Bucky explain about his first time.

“Come on, no I had to buy her a sundae after. It was the gentleman thing to do.” Bucky grinned widely to you, clearly amused that he made you laugh.

“Oh my god.” You snickered, “What was her name again?”

Bucky smirked, knowing you only wanted to tease him again, “Patricia, Her friends called her ‘Patsy’.”

You covered your mouth, trying to withhold yourself from going into a fit of laughing again.

Bucky shook his head to you, and you suddenly felt a change in his attitude. You watched carefully, as he moved his seat just beside you.

“Hello.” You smirked, his metal hand moving to hold yours carefully.

“Hi.” Bucky grinned, tracing the metal finger along your palm.

Curiosity struck you, as you saw the smooth metal move across your skin.

“How much can you feel?” You spoke softly, letting him still trail his touch.

“You’d be surprised.” Bucky smirked, his flesh hand now moving just below your chin.

“You’re gentle,” You nearly whispered, your eyes searching the blue irises locked to your skin.

“You’re soft.” He replied as you did, quietly, “The softest thing I’ve ever touched.”

“Tell me, Sergeant Barnes. Do you do this with all the ladies?” You laughed, flickering your eyes to where your hands met.

“There’s just one I want this with, Doll.” His eyes met yours, and it was a dangerous look - the kind that would break your walls completely.

The dinner tonight didnt seem as absolutely terrifying as the other night, tonight you had a new sense of confidence with each step. Now holding the hand placed to yours with a sense of certainty. Every so often, Bucky would catch your neck in a kiss - whispering encouragement. Feeling like you were drifting away from every problem, his eyes made you melt with every look - just as the other women in your company. Eric kept his eyes on the both of you, as if he were beginning to study every movement. It made you realize that your family hadn’t a clue that Bucky was brought here for a cover up, which happily turned out much more than that. You took a deep breath, finally taking your seat around the square table - it was paired off between you and Bucky, your mother and sister to the left side - Eric and his soon to be wife across from you. Even a couple of your cousins on the other side. 

“So wheres the husband to be tonight?” Stacy quipped, already motioning for the wine.

“He went out with his Father tonight, they were tying up some loose ends for the rehearsal tomorrow.” Your sister smiled, and you couldn’t believe at her words - she was getting married in two days. 

“We still haven’t got a clue for music at the rehearsal dinner.” Your mother sighed out in frustration, “James you probably know some good stuff?”

Bucky took a breath, smiling to your mother, “Well if you’re implying of what time I’m really from then yes, I do.”

“Was it really as fabulous as it seemed?” Your sister now leaned in, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of happiness that they were interested in Bucky’s past.

“Incredible.” Bucky grinned to the both of them, “The music, the movies, the romance.”

You heard the both of them giggle, God he was good at this. Eric’s jaw tensed and you couldn’t help but smirk, placing your hand in Bucky’s on the table. 

“Did you have a favorite?” Your sister grinned, her eyes clearly getting lost as you did.

“There was this woman, Helen Forrest.” Bucky looked down in recalling the memory, “She sang this song with Henry James, called “Its Been A Long, Long Time.” That was my favorite.”

“Well we should play it tomorrow night.” You mother hit him playfully, causing Bucky to grin.

“So what about that time as the big bad russian killer. Winter soldier right?” Eric piped up, and you felt the sudden urge to throw a plate across his head.

The table tensed, hearing the topic you all had avoided since Bucky got here. It broke your heart, seeing him now place his metal hand beneath the table. Without thinking, you encased your hands around it - and he clearly felt the gesture. 

“I obviously don’t do that anymore.” Bucky spoke quietly, and he even earned looks of sympathy.

“Right, of course. You’re an…avenger now.” Eric now moved his eyes to you, “Tell me, how’s your paycheck?”

“His paycheck is far bigger than yours, Eric.” You finally snapped, “In fact, its a whole lot bigger.”

You finally got a smirk from Bucky’s lips, and you sarcastically smiled at your sly innuendo. After that, he was quiet - and you had never been happy to shut someone up. 

“So you know Captain America?” Your sister’s eyes lit in excitement, clearly she didnt care about Bucky’s past.

“Well i’d hope so. We grew up together.” Bucky laughed lightly, and you felt his metal hand now relax at your knee. 

“That’s incredible.” Your Mother smiled, reaching her hand to Bucky’s flesh hand. 

He only nodded, and after that - the conversation made its way back to the wedding. 

Once the food came, you were all somewhat silent. Every so often Stacy would make inappropriate remarks to make the table laugh - for the first time you felt like you fit. Bucky’s smooth metal stayed at your knee, and you didnt mind the cool sensation. He gave you a devious smirk, and you knitted your brow - until you felt the hand now move up underneath your dress. You dropped your fork, swallowing harshly - only to get the rest of the table to look at you. You laughed it off, looking to Bucky - his hand placed below his chin. You did nothing, even when you should have warned him he was reaching dangerous territory. With no words or looks, Bucky continued - causing you to swallow again at the feeling of the metal fingers just outside the fabric of your panties. You took a deep breath, fumbling your fork around the plate of food. You watched carefully, Bucky taking his bottom lip with his teeth now. Completely baffled, your leg finally jolted upwards - causing the table to shift. The cool sensation now reached inside the panties, finding their way in slow circles to your core. You took a sharp breath, your hand flying to the tablecloth. Eyes adverted to you again, this time in concern. All but Eric. He looked confused at first, until his eyes fell to Bucky’s arm leading directly under the table. His mouth dropped. 

“I just-“ You choked out, finally responding to your actions, “The salmon is- fuck. Its good.”

“Honey, what have a told you?” Your mother furrowed her brow, clearly making a comment towards your language.

You went to apologize, but Bucky had no care in the world - pushing the metal completely inside you. 

“Shit.” You blurted out, much louder - causing him to halt his actions, “S-Sorry.”

Eric’s jaw tensed, and you looked to see Bucky smiling behind his hand. 

“It’s alright. Just act more classy dear.” Your mother sighed, returning to the conversation with your sister.

You fluttered your eyes closed, trying your best to gain composure. Bucky started again, and you couldn’t help but grip his wrist beneath the table. Your nails dug deep, and you bit your lip to keep yourself from screaming out. His pace was relentless, and you knew that mustve felt it. Having no control any longer, you slipped out a small whimper - and thankfully no one had heard. Eric kept his eyes on the both of you, practically fuming.

“Bucky, is this the kind of stuff you listened to?” Your sister exclaimed, Bucky turned slightly.

“Yeah, sort of.” He grinned widely, his eyes moving to Eric. 

His pace quickened, and your chest now moved quickly - you felt your breathing grow quick and ragged, and then he really did it. His fingers curled, and you practically erupted. The sensation you felt now, was unlike anything - but leaving you completely drenched. You looked to Bucky, and his eyes were wide - his mouth hung wide open. You were thankfully silent, but your body tensed so hard - that you buried your face into Bucky’s shoulder. 

“Aw, you two are so cute.” Your sister giggled, “Cuddling like that.”

Once you finally calmed, you pulled away - only able to nod. Your mother gave an adoring look to the two of you, and when she turned away you took the opportunity.

“What the hell was that?” You whispered quickly to Bucky’s ear, and you heard a soft laugh escape his chest.

“You fucking squirted, all over me.” He leaned now to your ear, pulling away with complete amusement.

Now your mouth hung open, and you skillfully and quietly pulled a napkin under the table. You managed to make it hidden, and you were thankful that Bucky knew what he was doing. Giving one last look to the table, your eyes landed to Stacy - her eyes wide.

“Holy shit.” She mouthed, and you suddenly felt your cheeks grow insanely hot.

“I saw a coat closet on the way in, I’ll meet you in 10.” Bucky whispered again, pulling away in a smirk.

You nodded quickly, and rose from your seat. 

“I’m gonna to head to the ladies room.” You took a deep breath, looking to Bucky as his eyes trailed your body before you walked. You nearly ran now, shuffling as you got out of the sight of your family. You were beginning to realize just how fun Bucky Barnes was.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Destiny of the Damned

Part 1- Roman Godfrey

Chapter 1- nosebleed

I never thought I'd miss traffic and noise. In California, something is always happening, and traffic is just a fact of life. When I had to move out to help my uncle, who lives outside of Hemlock Grove Pennsylvania to say it was a culture shock was an understatement. Everything closed early and I think they’d have to schedule a traffic jam or someone would need to get murdered on the main roads. After about a month, you figure out who everyone is. Small town life is bizarre. I went to eat at a local diner, and a police officer was eating there as well, looking out the window and makes a call. I’m in the next booth, so I can’t help but overhear him call someone that had just run the stop sign, and told them to come pick up their tocket at the station later. I always took the energy and anonymity giant metropolitan areas like Los Angeles or San Francisco for granted. It never even occured to me there were places where there were no malls, airports, freeways or parking fees. I’ve been here for a little over 2 months, and I am literally the only Mercedes Benz S-Class I’ve seen. In order to reach civilization and acceptable fashion retail, you had to go on a full on road trip. My uncle was the closest thing I had to a parent, so I was willing to tough it out for him. He had fallen down his concrete basement stairs, and fractured his neck a hands. He is very independant and stubborn and needed assistance until he healed from the multiple surgeries he’s had to endure, to get his hands working correctly again. His home is a famous work of art, more than a place to actually occupy, so strangers coming to stay there, and touch his stuff, damn near got him catching a charge. I just finished University and was an executive for my Uncles’ multi billion dollar corporation but realistically, we could take the rest of our lives off, and be fine. But we are both workaholic innovators that share the same miraculous quirk. We have autobiographical memories which means we don't forget anything. Want to know what the date, temperature, things I did, who I was with the first time I heard a particular song? I can tell you. It's a blessing and a curse. Everything is a trigger for memories for me and my Uncle. So although his desire for isolation and little contact is extreme, I get it. Having a brain that doesn't stop can be exhausting and stressful.

Books help, so when I turned the corner, and spotted a Barnes and Noble, I actually squealed in excitement. I pulled up and looked a little out of place, but i didnt care. My car was understated, low profile, over the top. With its clear panoramic sunroof,  technology, and ambiance lighting, id always kid with my uncle that i needed it for my mental health. Really, I was terribly spoiled,  yet I appreciated it and never tried to rub it anyone's face, but I understood a young woman exiting a very expensive car, in a small town, that lived in the strange house with her reclusive billionaire Uncle, wasn't going to have anyone baking me pies. I was a realist.

I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer size of this store. inside there was a shockingly large lego display and it reminded me of how much i used to love assembling complicated structures, while most girls played wth dolls. While most little girls wanted to play with dollies and imagine scenarios about their wedding day, I was trying to improve my laptops performance (catching a few on fire in my early years). The dynamics and emotionality of people never held any value really. It was what truly always puzzled me. Losing oneself in another person, or the entire concept of love, seemed so unlikely. Far too many factors involved, and why anyone compromises when they can just do as they please by themselves only makes sense in situations like with my Uncle. It was still inconvenient, so getting close to people has never been appealing, but the legos we're.

I walked over and spotted a gigantic Death Star set and clapped in delight. I thought I heard a low chuckle behind me, so I spun around to find the best looking man I'd ever seen, dressed in a very nice suit. He didnt waver or look away when i looked at him, and almost looked as though he were daring me to look away. Most people would find him intimidating, but nothing really made me nervous so he didnt phase me.

"What's funny?" I asked looking him dead in the eye.

"You." He smirked.

"Glad to oblige you" i said sarcastically as I did a half hearted bow, then standing straight with a smirk. Who did he think he was? Green eyed, puffy lipped punk. I didn't break eye contact which usually caused people to look away by now, but To my surprise he laughed and looked me up and down. Assessed me like i was livestock; sizing me up and trying to decide if he could break me.

"I'm Roman."

"I'm American." I replied.

"No my name is Roman." He laughed heartily. An amused twinkle in his eye.

I couldn't help but notice he really had the best smile, and I really have a thing for noses, and his was divine.  if you think about it, its the most important facial feature. A nose can make or break a face, and his cute little slightly upturned nose, with its perfect symmetry was for sure making his face. combine that with his gorgeous green eyes, long lashes, defined bone structure, alabaster skin and standing at least 6′3″ he must be one of the biggest pains in the asses, this side of the Mississippi! Most women would see him and be all in but having a gorgeous man that exudes sexuality and is very sure of himself is far more trouble then anyone could ever be worth.

Why pretty boy wanted to trade names, probably had nothing to do with me, and much more to do with boredom, or what he could get out of me. I usually don't pay much attention to anyone of the opposite sex, especially obvious pains in the ass like the man before me, but something about him, was preventing me from just turning around and blowing him off.

"Generally when I tell someone my name, they tell me their own." He said staring into my eyes with such an intensity that I reacted almost involuntarily.

I have a defect. If someone tries to tell me what to do or control me, I am not fucking having it. Authority has always been an issue, and this felt a lot like him trying to dominate me, and I felt almost sick. Like when you stand up too fast and get a bit woozy. I took that as a good time to turn my back on him and ignore him.

He walked in front of me, blocking my view of the legos and ducked down a bit to make eye contact. I couldnt hide the complete shock on my face at his behavior.  He's either crazy or incredibly confident. I raised my eyebrows as if to say "can i help you" and I know my face was absolutely unfriendly, yet he didn't appear to notice.

His face hardened "tell me. Your. Name." He said slowly and deliberately.

Now it was my turn to laugh. I looked at him to see the smile or just kiddding , but it never came... WOW. He was serious!!! I leaned my face a couple inches from his face and I said "Nope" making sure to loudly pop the p.

The look on his face was absolutely priceless, and had my laughing enough that several people were starting. just as I was about to walk away victorious, his nose began to bleed. I instantly was embarrassed for him and I couldnt just leave him here to bleed on the legos so I jumped into action.

"Oh shit, your nose is bleeding." i said lookinbg around for any type of tissue, when i noticed we were right next to the restrooms.

"What? Seriously? Can you get it?" he implored looking all frightened, dare I say fragile.

Without any hesitation, I wiped the blood from his face. "Come with me, we need tissue, bathroom is right here. Look up and hold your nose." I grabbed his hand and recieved a shock. static electricity stayed with me a lot and often scared people but he didnt even flinch. He laced his fingers in mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world and i led him to the bathroom.

Once inside, I grabbed some tissues and directed him to stand over the sink. I wet some paper towels and wiped away the blood and then took the dry tissues and pushed his head back and crammed little tissue torpedos in his perfect little nose. The whole time I could feel his intense gaze on me, but what else was he going to look at really?

"Gotta admit, this is new." He quipped, admiring my handy work in the mirror and laughing in dismay.

"What? Bloody nose or attention from ladies?"

"Um.... you're kind of rude, but then when there is an issue, you don't hesitate to help.  Then you're taking better care of my nose bleed than anyone. No one really takes charge with me.... and now I'm in a bathroom with a woman and we aren't fucking." He laughed again.

"Fucking. Classy. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were the Godfrey asshole everyone keeps telling me about." Ever since I'd arrived at Hemlock grove, I'd heard Godfrey this and Godfrey that. Their name was on everything and I'd heard the son was like a 21 year old gorgeous nightmare, that was as kind, as he was humble. The few people id spoken to had told me to stay away from him. I found it odd, I didn't know his first name all of a sudden.

His face fell into a frown.

"I see that's the general consensus about that guy. Cheer up Charlie, your nose stopped bleeding most likely, let me just pull these out." i gently pulled the tissues from his nose and waited for blood but none came. "Boom mothafucka its on!" i laughed at my own ridiculousness before turning and washing my hands.

"You're weird” he stated matter of factly.

Roman stood there quietly thinking. I could almost feel the wheels turning in his head. His mood had completely changed at the mention of the Godfrey kid.Maybe his family had lost everything because of them too or the guy stole his girl, i felt a little guilty so i relented a tiny bit.

"Hey listen, Roman was it?" He nodded and bit his lip. oh he knows what hes doing. boy he was trouble "I'm sorry if the Godfrey's are a sore subject. I don't know anything about anybody here. I'm just helping out my crazy uncle that fell down his basement stairs and broke his hands and neck. I'm from the west coast and this dreary fucking place isn't exactly my cup of tea. I don't know why I'm rude before I'm polite but it's involuntary. My name is Letha, it's like Lisa with a lisp and now I've officially over shared." I could feel my face turning red. Why was He making me such an awkward mess? My God this WAS new.

suddenly he grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me in stopping just an inch away from my face. "Who put you up to this?" He asked with such venom in his voice it made me flinch. "WHO!?!?!" He screamed in my face.

I tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge. My mind raced and I began to panic. No one has ever screamed in my face like this and I didn't like it and yet, the way his eyes searched mine and the tenseness in his body, and just sheer panic made me do something I hardly ever did. Maybe it was brought on by panic or survival instinct, but it was not my normal. Especially to a crazy stranger in the bathroom, but I had the overwhelming NEED to hug him. I fought past his hands trying to hold my shoulders in kind of a silly slap fight and grabbed him around the waist and buried my head in his shoulder. He smelled so good.This was outright crazy behavior for me, and i was confusing myself but if i tried to not think, it almost felt nice, for a few moments my mind was blank. A minute passed with me holding him as he calmed his breathing with his arms raised. Nothing was triggering me and I felt odd.

"Nobody sent me, you nut job! Hug me back, you need a hug. ”i squeezed even harder, nuzzling my face into his collar, his chin gently resting on my head.

His arms hesitantly closed around my back and then he crushed me into a deep embrace. He really did need a hug. "You ok now crazy?" I asked trying to pull back to look at his face but he held me fast. He started to shudder a bit and then I felt moisture hit my forehead. Ok it's gone too far, this is why I don't hug.

Was this crazy ass dude crying? Oh no, he was really crazy. Shit shit shit. Good job Letha, you're gonna get murdered in a bookstore bathroom, in shit hole Pennsylvania, on a Friday afternoon. Why did you hug this fucking guy? I was starting to breathe funny now!

Roman loosened his grip and looked deep in my eyes searching for something. What? Im unsure, but he must of found it, because he laughed and he seemed almost sweet, except tears were running down his face and a moment earlier he screamed in my face.

"Well Ms Letha, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'd love nothing more than to take you out this evening wherever you want to go. Before you refuse, I assure you I'm not crazy, it's just I had a cousin named Letha, which I'm sure you're aware is an unusual name, and I loved her very much and she passed and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It caught me off guard."

I had heard about that Letha. Everyone that found out my name, told me about Letha Godfrey, the Godfrey girl that was as kind as she was beautiful, but tragically got knocked up and lost her mind talking about angels being the father, and dating some weirdo outcast. when she went to give birth in the family skyscraper medical facility, she mysteriously died and so did her baby.

"You're the Godfrey kid." I practically whispered staring at him with wide eyes as I recalled what I'd said about him, TO him.

"Hardly a kid anymore I think." He smiled. He was so handsome, it was freaking me out. "What's your phone number? I have to run to the white tower, and then I'm all yours."

I knew better. He was too good looking and too rich and too everything but something told me he needed me. I know it sounds crazy but I believed in my heart and soul, this perfect beautiful fucking legend of a man needed me. I knew it wasn't logical, but I told him my number and turned to walk out of the bathroom, but he grabbed my hand.

"Please answer." He pleaded pressing a kiss to my hand. He wasn't trying to make me do anything now. He was giving the power over to me and i was honestly taken aback a bit by the almost desperate look in his eyes. I knew in my heart, he genuinely needed me, but for what?

I can't explain the feeling I felt in that bathroom with this man, but when I say I felt a deeper connection to him than I'd ever felt in my 22 years on this earth, I mean it. It was thrilling, and scary, and strange. I smiled at him and nodded my head. As I made my way to my car, I tried to convince myself not to answer, but I knew that I would.

He didn't follow me out of the bathroom and I just made a bee line for my car. I had to go. I couldn't help smiling from ear to ear. The cashier glared at me with open animosity, before turning her attention to the restroom door, looking dreamily for Roman to appear. Boy oh boy did I know better than to get involved with this guy, but deep in my gut i knew. He needed me.

[dragon-age-companions-speak]

Heyo! Found this delightful little page surfing for more DA content (again; thanks trailer) and thought I'd try an ask! Could I request reactions of all the DA:I companions to an Inquisitor that has been nothing but focused and serious about the whole thing just suddenly finding the cutest random object (like an abandoned music box) and going completely fan girl/boy over it for a few moments before remembering they're not alone? Thank you much and looking forward to your work!

Sent in by @bottastic0201 !!

((Oof, I deviated a bit from the ask, hope you don't mind! Also didn't include Blackwall cause I don't know his character to well yet as I never really had him as part of my party. Not to fear, he will be added later on!))

Cassandra: After the demon fight at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Cassandra always had a certain respect for the Inquisitor, despite their poor first impressions. They took the Inquisition's cause very seriously, and were focused on closing the Breach perhaps even more so than she was. Of course, that didn’t stop the Seeker from at least chuckling at the sight of the Inquisitor fawning over a fancy little elven music box they found when exploring Skyhold, tucked away in some corner long covered in dust. They were exploring the lover levels of the grand fortress together, though Cassandra guessed they forgot she was even there whenever they spotted the little thing. It was made out of a black, sleek wood, and covered in carvings of wolves and halla with golden accents for the wolves’ eyes and the halla’s horns. Cassandra cleared her throat, arms crossed over her chest and a light smile playing at her lips. “Found something you like, Inquisitor?” The blush that crept onto their face was worth the little tease, and she had to promise them not to tell any of the others. If this little scene did manage to make it into one of Varric’s new books, she certainly wasn’t the one who told him.

Varric: Varric had to say that, in his time of both writing and following heroes, the Inquisitor was probably the most… Efficient one the dwarf had encountered. Sure, being driven to save the world from becoming ass deep in demons and corrupted with red lyrium was certainly commendable, though he did find himself missing Hawke’s snarky comebacks and sassy remarks. The Inquisitor was a serious leader, and didn’t usually humor his, well, humor. However, whenever the two stumbled across a little gold and white painted music box in a random part of the ass end of nowhere and the Inquisitor let out a little squeal at the sight, the dwarf couldn’t help but laugh. “Really, Stiffy? That’s what cracks you? A music box?” His gruff voice reminded the Inquisitor of his presence, and the blush of embarrassment that followed just made the dwarf grin. When they asked him to keep this little scene out of his book, all they got in return was a wider grin and a wink.

Solas: Before this little incident, Solas had a pretty neutral opinion of the Inquisitor. They were focused and did their assigned role well, and he couldn’t complain much about their serious demeanor. To be the Inquisitor was a hard task, and he understood what they had to carry on their shoulders and the face they had to put on for nobles and pretty courts. After all, he had the same weight on his shoulders, as well as a face of his own. Unlike a few of the more boisterous companions the Inquisitor has taken under their metaphorical wing, Solas doesn't interrupt them whenever they spot a charming little Dalish themed music box while combing through the Exalted Plains. He watches them fawn over the little wooden thing, running their fingers over the raven and bear carvings all over its surface. They pouted slightly once they realized the small box no longer played music, the handle broken and the gears inside probably long since rusted, and placed the pretty thing into their bag. “Shall we move on then, Inquisitor?”If this is after his personal quest ‘All New, Faded for Her’, and they tried to help his corrupted friend, the Inquisitor will find a new music box on the desk in their quarters. It is covered with delicate little designs of wolves and elves, obviously drawn by Solas’ hand, and when it’s golden handle is turned it plays a lovely tune that the Inquisitor is humming for days afterwards.

Sera: First impressions of the Inquisitor? A stuck up nob with too many sticks up their back-end mouth. They’re not fun to joke with, absolutely no help in pranking, and don’t appreciate a good bee nest inside of a training dummy. Sure, being serious was good and all, and being focused on what you want to do is fine, though Sera finds herself a little aggravated with them after a short time. Unlike most of the others, she was not exploring with the Inquisitor when she spotted them gushing over some slightly beat up doll in the middle of Redcliffe, though she was planning on pranking them with a good pie. However, whenever she spotted them holding the doll with the cheesiest smile on their face, cradling the small thing against their chest, Sera almost couldn’t handle it. She almost fell off of the roof she was spying on them from because of laughing so hard, which, or course, startled the Inquisitor to no end, and instead of being embarrassed they were almost terrified at the quirky elf’s barking laughter. “A doll?! You’re just putting me on, right? It’s a doll and you’re smiling at it like it’s just watered your damn crops!” Sera spoke in between laughing, and in the end, her pie ended up ruined all over the roof as she jumped down to the Inquisitor’s level. It becomes a constant thing she teases the Inquisitor about, and it’s not long before the rest of the Inner Circle knows.

Dorian: Dorian is not an unreasonable man. All he wants is a nice glass of wine in the morning, some decent fucking literature, and an Inquisitor who at least humors his jester personality just a tad more than the current one does. They dismiss any of his playful flirting and sarcastic comments, and suddenly that one glass of wine turns into two. It’s not that he minds them being extremely driven- Far from it, actually, though he wished that their devotion also came with a little sense of humor. So one can imagine how unimaginably pleased the ‘Vint was whenever they came across a pretty little mabari figurine at the Winter Palace. They were supposed to be looking for some halla statues or something to open a door in their way, and instead, found a golden painted dog in one of the guest rooms. While Dorian thought it would be more fitting to find in Ferelden, the Inquisitor was overly pleased to have found it at all. The dog had a golden chain attached to it, and it wasn’t long before it was around the Inquisitor’s neck and they were standing in front of the best mirror they could find to see how it looked. “I personally think drakestone would suit you better. Really brings out your eyes.”Dorian spoke casually as he stepped behind the Inquisitor, looking at their reflection in the mirror as they nearly screamed at his. The flushed look on their face and wide eyes were more than enough of a reward for his teasing, and he spent a lot of their time left at the Palace making similar comments.

Vivienne: Similar to Solas, Vivienne’s initial reaction to the Inquisitor was pretty neutral. They were serious in the work that they did and driven to rid the world of this nightmare, so she had a certain respect for them for taking the role as leader of the Inquisition in stride. She didn’t have a problem with their serious demeanor, and it made speaking to them much more tolerable than speaking to someone like Cole or Sera, who were either too cryptic or too aggravating to understand. Whenever they did find a little pretty trinket and the Inquisitor all but gushed over it, she found it almost charming. A powerful, grand person of power absolutely fawning over a wooden doll was almost unbelievable, yet here they were. They were shopping in Val Royeaux when the Inquisitor spotted the doll, and Vivienne felt a little pity for them. After all, the Inquisition’s money was always tight, and a doll was seemingly worthless in the grand scheme of their cause. With a gentle sigh, Vivienne stepped forwards and bought the wooden thing with her own money, which rewarded her with another smile from the Inquisitor. “No need to thank me, my dear. Do keep that out of Sera’s reach, though. I fear she may end up breaking it.”While it was nice to have a devoted leader, they still needed their reasons to smile. Vivienne was many things, and cruel wasn’t one of them. Bluntly honest? Maybe. But never cruel.

Iron Bull: Having a serious leader such as the Inquisitor was somewhat of a change for The Iron Bull. Having been with his boys for so long took away a lot of the seriousness from his own personality, so it was a bit of a difficult transition. They didn’t seem to care for his beautifully crafted puns and endearing nicknames, and was nothing but straight to the point when invited to drink with him and his boys. Bull understood that certain jobs needed to be taken with a certain amount of committedness, though it was a bit of a damper whenever they didn’t respond to a joke or laugh at his foolish nicknames. So, whenever his favorite ‘Vint and lieutenant Krem made a stuffed nug for the Inquisitor to hopefully lighten their mood, Bull was the one to volunteer to give it to them. He brought it to them right after him and the Inquisitor slayed their first dragon together as a ‘congratulations’ for the kill. They eyed the nug carefully before taking it away from Bull, giving him a curt ‘Thank you’ before closing the door to their quarters. He was a little disappointed with their reaction, as he knew Krem would be, though before he left he heard the most suspicious of noises from inside of the Inquisitor’s room. He grinned as he realized the Inquisitor was squealing over their gift, and he swore he could hear them speaking to the stuffed nug as well. “I’ll tell Krem you liked his gift!”Bull called through the door, and the sudden silence was enough to make him laugh. He brought the good news to his boys (And Varric), and they drank over a good kill and finally being able to know what makes the Inquisitor tick.

Cole: Cole didn’t know what to think of the Inquisitor at first. They were bright- Even without the mark they were bright and blinding and good. He didn’t really understand why Sera and some of the others got aggravated at them whenever they were so devoted to sealing the Breach and helping people. He knew they didn’t laugh as much as the others did, but it was only because they didn’t know when to laugh.She grins, a joke meant to be laughed at and shared, but they don’t. An odd look, then embarrassed, but it’s too late to do what they were meant to do, and the joke is ruined.It brings him joy when they find the music box Solas left for them because it makes them happy. It sings a song belonging to skulls and paints a story they don’t know, but they still love it.Winding, winding until it’s wound and sings. It’s so like him, so strange yet so harmonious, like a wolf howling to the sun. How long did it take him? Days, weeks? So pretty yet so tedious- Have to thank him later. Cole doesn’t interrupt them, and instead, watches passively as they hold the box in their lap and hum along to it, the stress of their day melting as the music plays.

[missmarquin]

Magnetic, Ch. 1

In the future, romantic attraction is literal: each person is fitted with an electromagnetic bracelet which will pull you to your soulmate. It's hard, wondering who's out there for you. It's harder yet, when you have to come to understand yourself first.

Read on A03, for best quality (Including proper italics and such!)

Domain

‘A magnetic domain is a region within magnetic material in which the magnetization is uniform in one direction.’

Eighteen was a big year for many, but turning twenty is what people truly waited for.

Otabek had never really given it much thought, he supposed. Amita might not have been his initial choice of who he’d want to spend his life with forever, but she had since grown on him-- not unlike a fungus. She was sharp and quick-witted, and he had to admit that his parents had made a good choice. Really, they had. He and Amita just worked together, their relationship didn’t require much effort.

So the ceremonious receiving of the Destiny Bracelet wasn’t so ceremonious for him. He didn’t want to fuck up something that was good for him.

“It’s such a stupid fucking name,” Yuri said through the phone screen. Amita rolled her eyes, as she held the phone out, and Otabek smirked back at the video feed. “ Destiny Bracelet . What is this, some shitty fucking rom-com?”

“Hey now,” Amita pouted, leaning around so Yuri could see her through the screen. “ Some people like shitty rom-coms.”

“I guess you’re allowed to,” Yuri said with a genuine smile. “You’re special though.”

Really, Otabek’s luck couldn’t be better. Yuri was the most important person in the world to him, at the end of things, and he fucking lovedAmita. They were practically partners-in-crime themselves.

“What’s the point anyhow?” Yuri continued griping. “ It’s not like you aren’t getting married regardless. You and Amita are stupidly in love.”

Otabek and Amita shared an amused glance, and he said, “Why not? It’s not like it’s going to hurt me, you know? Besides, Mom is curious.” Not his mom, just Mom, the woman who had seen Yuri once before instantly adopting him as her own. Much to the boy’s aggravation.

Yuri snorted, rolling his eyes. Otabek wasn’t sure that he was stupidly in love with Amita, but he was happy and honestly, that was more than he could ask for. There was a mild fear that the bracelet would want to pull him somewhere else, but many people ignored it anyway. The journey of finding that soulmate wasn’t worth it to some.

Otabek was okay with that. He wasn’t the kind for grand romantic gestures or sweeping adventures. It was less work to stay in his tidy little bubble, and it suited him.

“Are we all ready in here?” A voice piped from the doorway. Everyone turned to meet a middle-aged man, the proctor in charge of attaching and turning on the gizmo. Otabek nodded and he whisked into the room, settling into the rolling stool beside the bed.

“I was I could be there for this,” Yuri muttered. “I wish I could see the annoyance on your face, the moment that bracelet beeps.”

Such a Yuri thing to say and do, to take pleasure in the vexation of others.

“Someone has rehearsal to be at, you know,” Amita chided. “Someone scored a spot in the Bolshoi Ballet Company, so that someone needs to stay put and not burn bridges before they are even built.”

Yuri sighed and Otabek hid a smile behind a carefully placed cough. Yuri wouldn’t listen to him, but he would always listen to her, begrudging as it was.

“Hold out your arm now,” the proctor interrupted cheerfully. Otabek did as he was told and the man fitted a length of cool metal around his wrist. It wasn’t his first time seeing one and it wouldn’t be his last, but he was always surprised by how boring it looked. Just a simple chain of lightweight links, fitted with neat and elegant looking square. The way it worked was a carefully guarded secret, but it worked and that’s all people cared about.

The point of the Destiny Bracelet was to make people happy, not make money and so, the world-wide program had been adopted free of charge. Yuri had always said it was stupid, because it could have made billions. He wasn’t wrong.

“As you probably already know, there’s nothing really needed to know about it’s use,” the proctor said. “It’s waterproof and practically indestructible, so you don’t need to worry about that. It can easily be removed if so wished, and once put back on, instantly kicks into gear again. No fancy buttons or doohickies,” he finished with a laugh. “You ready?”

Otabek shrugged and the man took a thin little tool, about the size of a paperclip, and shoved it into the pin-sized hole on the square. The bracelet beeped, indicating that it was scanning.

The room waited with bated breath, but nothing seemed to happen.

“Beks?” Amita said gently, curiosity full on her face. “Anything?”

“Uh,” Otabek started, lifting his wrist slightly. “No? I don’t think?”

The proctor didn’t seem fazed though, asking, “No tingling sensations? No feeling of being tugged a certain direction?”

“No,” Otabek confirmed. “Nothing.”

“Well, that’s not unusual,” the man said. “It only comes to life if your partner’s bracelet is active. Give it some time and it will start to work, I promise.” He folded his hands into his lap neatly. “Any other questions?”

“Yeah,” Yuri said from the video call, “Who’s placing bets on when that fucking happens?”

Otabek shot Yuri a glare, but Amita burst into laughter. The proctor smiled, before standing and handing Otabek a flyer. “This should give you more in depth information, but don’t hesitate to call, okay?”

Otabek nodded and thanked him, before standing himself.

“Three months till your woman gets hers,” Yuri drawled, “Ten thousand rubles that hers lights up like a damn Christmas Tree in your direction.”

The thought of Amita’s bracelet reacting to his own was a nice thought, but a one-in-a-million chance. Otabek remained hesitant about it, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“We don’t use rubles,” Amita tittered, her lips pulled into a sarcastic smirk. “What’s that about in tenge, Otabek?”

“About fifty-six thousand,” he deadpanned, and half Yuri’s monthly salary. Amita pressed her finger to her chin in thought.

“I’ll accept the bet and raise it, Yuri,” she finally said, a gleam in her eye. “One hundred thousand tenge that his bracelet doesn’t do jack shit when mine is activated.” Amita came from old money and didn’t bat an eye at the outrageous amount.

Otabek started slightly at that, but Yuri was already accepting the challenge before he could process that she had bet against them.

“You’re on, you hag,” Yuri snapped. “It’s pretty fucked up to bet against your own romance though.”

“Plenty of people don’t go searching for their soulmate, Yuri,” she said with a shrug. “Many people already love someone else and stick with them. Otabek and I are no different.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Amita when she said it, but the both of them weren’t the kind to throw around something like lovelightheartedly. When they walked out of the building though, Amita’s hand reached out to find his, squeezing gently as they told Yuri goodbye.

It’s enough to believe that this might actually work.

It wasn’t.

Otabek didn’t know what was wrong with him when he finally came to that conclusion.

The more and more he thought about the silent bracelet on his wrist, the more he realized that he would be okay with it staying that way for the rest of his life. And that he would be a-okay with Amita wandering off and finding her own destined one.

Because honestly, the woman deserved it. She deserved more than a half-hearted romance with a man who just liked her. Like wasn’t the same as love. Otabek understood that now.

“Relationships are fucking useless,” Yuri groaned over the video call.

“I take it that the date didn’t go well then,” Otabek mused.

“It was great, until he tried to eat my face off like some sort of rabid dog. ” Yuri paused to make a disgusted sound. “You know, that was the first time I’ve kissed a dude and honestly I feel sorry for women. Men are disgusting.”

Otabek wasn’t sure what surprised him more-- that Yuri’s first kiss had apparently been with a woman, or that he had admitted that men were gross. “You told me he was gross before you went on the date,” he pointed out.

“Personality wise yes,” Yuri replied, “but Beka, have you seen his fucking calves?”

“Yes,” Otabek said. Yuri had shown him tons of pictures of the company, all the while complaining about every single member.

Yuri rolled his eyes. “You know, ignore that, it’s not like you’d ever fucking agree.”

It came out harsher than he meant, and Otabek mused at the irony of his statement. Otabek wouldn’t consider himself gay, but Yuri never failed to get under his skin when the time accounted for it. That moment wasn’t an exception, with his low-scooping neckline and hair falling around his face like spun gold.

Otabek promptly reminded himself that what he had with Amita was good enough, and not worth risking the only fucking friendship he had.

“So,” Yuri drawled and Otabek’s attention snapped back to him. “Less than a week until Amita get’s her little bracelet.”

Otabek smirked. “Regretting your bet yet?”

“Absolutely the fuck not. Everyone knows you two are disgustingly perfect. You’re almost as bad as the Piggy and Old Man.”

Otabek seriously doubted that, but laughed all the same.

“Are you worried?” Yuri asked.

“Not really,” Otabek said with a shrug.

“What if it’s not you?”

Otabek hesitated, but then said, “Not a problem. Like Amita said, many people stay with those they aren’t meant for. It’s not a bad thing.”

Yuri was quiet for a moment, regarding him carefully through the screen. Finally, he said, “You aren’t the type to do things half-way, Beka.”

It wasn’t a critique, it was the honest truth, and for once he didn’t know how to reply. But as soon as introspective Yuri had shown his face, he was gone, throwing out a dirty joke that he had heard from one of the pit musicians.  

After a long time of tossing jokes around and swapping stories, their call comes to its end. Yuri was clearly tired, eyelids drooping as he tucked into the hoodie that he stole from Otabek years ago.

Yuri had said his goodnight, about to end the call, when Otabek said something else.

“Would it make me a terrible person if I wanted her bracelet to point to someone else?” It wasn’t a planned question, or something he would have ever asked Yuri. His friend blinked slowly, his hand hovering over the keyboard of his laptop. “I wonder,” Otabek continued, “if I’m a horrible person because I might want to pull away.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Yuri finally said. “It makes you normal. Everyone questions their relationships. Sometimes people are constantly questioning them.” He paused and considered something else. “You’re lucky though, I think. Amita seems the kind of woman tough enough to handle rejection in the end. She’d slap a smile on her face and thank you.”

Yuri wasn’t wrong, and despite his heavy-handed worries, Otabek managed another smile before they ended the call for the night.

Otabek couldn’t dedicate time to be there, when Amita’s bracelet was activated. She came from old money, and despite working, she worked for her parents. They showered her with all the vacation and time off she could have ever wanted.

It wasn’t like Otabek’s family weren’t well of either-- that’s how they had met-- but he didn’t like to dip his hand into the cookie jar so to speak. He worked hard for his coin, and as a result had less leeway.

So that night, he had been in his garage, fixing up a vintage bike for a collector. It was dirty work, leaving him smeared with grease, but he loved it. The feel of the tools in his hand, the way that the engine whined when finely tuned to perfection.

Really, it was all could have ever asked for.

“I take it that it’s been a good day for you, Beks,” Amita said, stepping into his space quietly.

He swiped at his forehead and turned to smile at her, but she seemed distant and subdued. Slowly he dropped his hand, as he regarded her.

Amita fidgeted, she never fidgeted, and Otabek couldn’t help the crease that stretched across his forehead as he moved to speak. But she held her hand out and paused. And he saw the bracelet there, blinking gently in the dim light.

His didn’t blink at all, because it had no call.

She saw his gaze and moved her hand self-consciously, tucking her hair behind an ear. “It’s not strong,” she said, “the pull. Whoever it is isn’t close by. I’m not surprised though.”

“I-- I’m not either,” Otabek replied, but the words didn’t sound bitter. Nor was there dread in the pit of his stomach. If he had to be honest, he felt relieved.

Amita leaned against his workbench. “I know what we told Yuri, but--”

“But it’s not right,” Otabek finished, knowing that’s where she was going with this. He stood, wiping his dirtied hands on a spare rag in his pocket. He moved to lean next to her and she smiled sadly.

“It’s stupid, right? I mean, I want to marry you.”

“I would like that too,” Otabek said truthfully.

“But it isn’t… it’s not right,” she repeated. “I can’t really describe it any other way.” She sighed softly. “I couldn’t deny whoever your soulmate is, you, Otabek.”

He snorted at that. “I think it’s safe to say I’m doomed to be alone, Amita,” he replied lightheartedly. And that was probably the truth. Most bracelets activated within several months, and the longer it took, the less likely it ever would. He was past the point of holding his breath.

She turned to look at him, her eyes flashing. “Why on earth would you think that?”

Otabek rubbed at his neck nervously. “I don’t know, I’m just not the kind of person who does people, you know? I’ve been thinking more and more about it lately, and I think that the single lifestyle would suit me.”

Amita regarded him quietly, tapping her finger against her chin like she always did when she thought. “I think the problem Beks,” she finally said, “is that you just haven’t found your person yet. I would love to be them, but… it’s not fair.”

“Yeah, it’s not fair to you--”

“ To you,” she interrupted. Otabek blinked at her words, her conviction. “You deserve happiness as much as anyone else,” she said firmly.

Otabek breathed an uneasy sigh, rubbing at his neck again. “I’m not holding my breath, you know,” he finally said.

At that, she laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you too. Above all Otabek, you are practical.”

He managed a smile at that. “What will you do, then? Go after him?” He took her hand gently, pulling it closer to see the bracelet. All it did was blink, signaling that it was on.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure my parents would be happy. They love you.”

“They love you more,” he pointed out.

She hummed at that, before reaching up and cupping his chin in her hand. “I’ll always love you,” she said quietly. “Despite what this bracelet says, or yours, I’ll always love you. I’m just not the one meant for you, I think.” She leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his brow sweetly. “Who knows? Maybe they’re closer than you think?” She smirked widely as she pulled back and let him go.

Otabek could think of one person that he wouldn’t mind, but those odds were heavily stacked against him. And he wasn’t the kind to dream.

Still, when she left him behind in his shop, his heart didn’t feel heavy. He thanked Amita for her unwavering friendship, knowing that he’d have it forever.

The first year after the break up had been weird.

Amita had decided to go West in the end, following the tug of her bracelet. Otabek had seen her off personally, hugging her tightly at the airport. They parted well, with light hearts and encouraging words. Otabek knew that they had made the right decision, no matter how disappointed their parents had been.

In turn, being alone had given him time to think.

The single life wasn’t so bad, he thought. Amita’s words about how he hadn’t found his someone yet floated around here and there, but he had chosen to mostly ignore them. It was easier worrying about himself, and devoting the time to come to understanding who he was.

Yuri told him that he was stupid, but didn’t press the issue.

The second year was better. The second year, Otabek discovered himself, exploring his freedom. He finally used that vacation time and savings, and hit the open roads on his bike. Not too far though gone, because he never missed his nightly calls with Yuri.

Yuri threw himself into ballet, constantly tired and bruised. And when he wasn’t punishing his body with grueling training regimes, he threw himself into shitty date after shitty date. No one seemed to stick, not that Otabek was surprised. Yuri was as prickly as a summer cactus, and his personality wasn’t much better. Not everyone could handle the abrasive man.

“A huge part of me doesn’t want to get the stupid bracelet, Beka,” Yuri complained one night during their call. His twentieth birthday was looming over them and in a few weeks, he’d know.

“You don’t have to get the bracelet, you know,” Otabek said, leaning back against his headboard. It was a late night and both of them were settling for bed.

Yuri sighed, sitting on his tony mattress with crossed legs. That night he wore baggy sweatpants and a wide-necked black shirt that showed off his collarbones--

Otabek distracted himself by taking a sip from the water cup on his side table.

“I thought about it, actually,” Yuri said. “But then you know, I also keep dating assholes, so clearly my method isn’t working out.”

Otabek raised an eyebrow at that. “Don’t date assholes then,” he chided, smiling.

Yuri rolled his eyes, before falling back against the bed. “How do you do it?” he asked. “How do you just… do your own thing?”

Otabek thought before he answered. “It’s taken time and a lot of thought,” he finally said. “And of course, Amita pushed me, I guess.”

“A cross-country trip to discover yourself doesn’t hurt either,” Yuri teased, and when Otabek looked back at him through the screen, he saw the smirk across his lips. Otabek smiled right back.

“I’ve thought about taking it off,” Otabek continued with, flicking at the metal on his wrist. Nearly three years later and it was still dead as a door nail. Frankly, Otabek had lost interest in waiting. “My soulmate doesn’t define me, you know?”

Yuri hummed quietly. “Don’t,” he finally said. “I mean, at least wait until it turns on, yeah?”

“It probably won’t, Yura,” Otabek sighed. “Studies show that most activate within the first year. I’m probably the rare case of never activates at all . And honestly, I’m cool with it.”

“Well I’m not,” Yuri scoffed. “You can’t tell me that someone doesn’t get Otabek Altin as a fucking soulmate, I won’t take it. You’re too cool to go it alone.”

“You literally said that you admire that about me.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re deserving.”

Otabek ran a hand through his hair gently. “You aren’t like me, Yura,” he finally said. “Even though you don’t like people, you crave their attention. You’d never be okay on your own.”

“I wouldn’t be alone though,” Yuri replied quietly. “I’ll always have you, you know.”

Otabek did know, and he smiled. “It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am, but I’m good now. Give yourself a chance too, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. There was a short pause, and then, “Do yourself a favor Beka. Don’t you take yours off either, okay?”

Otabek’s lips quirked into a smile. “Okay.”

“It’s a promise?”

“Always, Yura.”

Despite all of Otabek’s annoyance for his own bracelet, he was excited for Yuri.

He watched through the screen as Yuri sat on the exam table, twitching with apprehension. The phone must have been propped up against something.  “It’s stupid,” he snapped. “I should be at rehearsal, I should be running through forms, hell I’d rather be doing fucking squats.”

Otabek smiled at that. “It’s not the end of the world, Yura,” he said amused. “A few years ago, you were excited .”

“Yeah, until I realized what a drag dating is, and how disgusting men are.” He paused then, his face twisting into horror. “Beka, what if my soulmate is a woman? My life would be over!”

“It could be worse, you know,” he joked. “It could not work at all.” He raised his own wrist in response.

Yuri scowled at him, about to retort when the proctor came in. When requested to, Yuri stuck his arm out, the smooth skin pale against his dark shirt. Otabek watched as the man slipped the chain around his wrist, snapping it closed. And then the tool came out.

Yuri looked hesitant, but his eyes were bright as the man activated the bracelet.

But then they both fell quiet, watching. And then there was a little beep and Yuri’s bracelet blinked. He regarded it with an odd look.

“You know, I wish Amita were watching. I bet her smug ass would have enjoyed this.”

Before Otabek could retort though, there was another beep, this time not through the phone call. He froze and looked down, right as his bracelet flared to life.

[lucylucciendo-blog]

Les Luttes de L'Amour Part 5

London is one of the many cities that never seem to sleep especially at 8 in the morning on a Wednesday where rush hour is once again alight. I could hear the buzz and many car horns outside my window as I lay down in bed. I turned on to my side trying to block out the noise as I heard a series of beeps from my phone next to me. I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted my vision.

Shit was the first word that came to mind as it all came rushing back as I remembered the events that transpired last night.

 I sat up in my bed and grabbed my phone. I looked at the time and couldnt believe I slept in til 12 which was so unlike me. 11 missed calls from Alex, 2 from Christian and 3 from Julie. I probably should have explained myself to Julie so I gave her an overdue text saying that I was alright and that my mum had a turn. I then ignored everything from Alex and went straight to Christian. He text me asking after me as I sat in one of the best hotels in my entire life. I tried calling him but he didn't answer so I sent him a text instead;

12.05p.m.- Me: Christian I fell straight asleep last night I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner as I should have. I honestly don't know what to say I had one of the best sleeps of my life mind you that could have something to do with all the crying😂 anyway I have no idea how to repay you of this! You honestly shouldn't have thank you so so much. I can't explain to you how much this meant to me. Call me when you get this x

I heard a knock at the door and put my phone down. I put on my complimentary dressing gown and opened the door to a waiter and a trolley.

"Good morning miss, breakfast is served mind the clichè!...May I?" He moved his head indicating for him to come in after staring at my blank and rather shocked expression for 5 seconds. I was so taken aback but smiled and replied;

"Of course sorry yes, sorry I wasn't expecting You!"

"Compliments of Mr Yu!" He smiled and pushed they trolley over to the table. He placed the dishes on top and removed the lids after ushering me to sit down.

"Now here we have french toast, scrambled eggs, bacon and potato scones with orange juice, mini muffins and a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows! Enjoy miss"

He placed a napkin on my knee and let himself out. I was still trying to process that Christian not only got me a room but a penthouse suite at the best hotel in the whole of England but also remembered what I like for breakfast after all these years. I remembered the days when we would have breakfast together either at his or mine. All of the laughs we had all of the memories all of the pain that soon followed. Although my mind couldn't help wander back to last night when I saw my boyfriend cheat on me which I assumed was not the first time he had done so recalling all of the times he had weirdly cancelled coming with me on my trips last minute for 'business'. This would definitely add to the list of trust issues that already took up my bookcase.

It was definitely a hurdle to get over after Christian left but then again here he was redeeming himself telling me he called and texted and flew in to find me only to see a house where I used to stay and where a new family took over. How could he have known I moved house if he never answered my calls that somehow he never seemed to have received. For some reason I believed his story in that he never got my messages I'm not quite sure why but I could always seem to tell when he was lying or telling the truth even after all the years apart.

I then took this opportunity to text Alex the last message I planned on sending him in my full life;

13:12p.m. Me: I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to work anything out with you, we are done, I never want to see you again and I want you out of my house and leave your key. Have a nice life.

I ate my delicious breakfast that I was somehow upset over since I knew I would never eat an amazing breakfast like that ever again. I demolished it and jumped into the shower and began getting ready. As I was putting my earrings in I heard another knock at the door. I opened it to find the only person I wanted to see. He immediately brought me in to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"Y/N I am so sorry, I should have gone with you, I should have never ever left you I can't believe I left you again but it's alright I've dealt with it he won't be bothering you ever again I promise!"

"Christian it's okay honestly I'm fine and it's all thanks to you I can't believe your here!!"

"How could I not be here he's a jerk, he doesn't deserve you he never did and I promise you'll never see him again!"

"Wait what do you mean you've dealt with it?" I chuckled as I pulled apart slightly as to not escape his hold but look into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter but your safe now! Y/N I don't want to lose you ever again and I want to give you everything you have missed over the last couple of years and everything you deserve! I actually have something to confess" he moved you in and closed your door as he sat you down on your bed.

"When I say that I didn't get any of your calls, emails or texts I meant it, as a matter of fact I talked with my manager who also had no clue how that happened who then took it up with my publicist who was also with me at the time we broke up. It was him Y/N, he blocked your number from my phone and changed my email address, he manipulated the full team and members of my friends and family that I was somehow better off without you and that it was your fault of ou breakup. He, He was always with me all of the time back then so he had easy access to my phone and my life. Apparently if I had a girlfriend it would have been harder to make an impact in the music industry and get where I am today. But thing is, I'm miserable without you. You've been on my mind for all these years to be truthful, you never left. I've always regretted breaking up and leaving you. You were my whole life and I honestly... I need you back in it. I miss you so fucking much your like a drug that I constantly need to survive. I never found anyone else like you and I don't want to ever look again. I found and made a life without you and I hate it. I need you Y/N and I know what I did broke you and I know what Alex has just done must have hurt like hell but I'm here for you and I'll wait until whenever your ready I don't honestly care how long I have to wait, as long as I'm with you." his eyes beaming so bright as he declared his love with a huge smile taking over his face.

I let out a deep breath and leaned in towards him grabbing his hair pulling him into me. It felt like slow motion as our eyes gazed into each others and our lips slowly met. And then we touched and it felt as if a million sparks had finally been released like my cravings and love I had so longed for was now all being fulfilled as I pulled my hand through the strands of his hair. I felt the same. Life wasn't ever the same without him and I craved his touch and affection once more. And alas after years of separation I was now back where I had always belonged. I opened my lips as his tongue explored me. My stomach was going crazy with somersaults and felt as if there was a full on rave and party happening in me. This was the kind of love I had been missing, this was the feeling I had wished for so damn long. This was all I had wanted, something Alex could not and never gave me.

I gripped his cheek and slid my arm down to grab his hand. I just didn't expect him to wince and grunt out in pain.

"What's wrong?" You exclaimed. Confused you brought your gaze down to his hand then let out a loud gasp.

"Christian oh my god what happened to your hand?"

That story however had to be rewinded to when Christian arrived at my apartment the night before as I drifted off to a deep sleep.

He rang the doorbell like any good guest and waited for the son of the bitch who hurt the only girl he ever loved. He would talk to him, explain who he was, get some of my things and tell him to be out by the morning and never return. However as he opened the door and as Christian saw his face he couldn't help or stop the powerful fiery rage that burned within him so his instincts kicked in and he clenched his fists and jaw.

"Who are you?" Christian still very much trying to calm himself saw a figure moving in the background in the corner of his eye. He turned and saw a girl in a dressing gown drinking a cup of coffee leaning against the table.

And that was it for him. He didn't care or want to even try hold in his anger anymore. He had had more than enough with this guy. The fact that he not only cheated but didn't even bother to get rid of the girl, in fact she was still there drinking my coffee and sitting on my table enraged him even more. And that's when he found himself punching Alex in the face.

The girl didn't even try to stop she ran behind the couch. Alex put his arms up as defence trying to block Christian but Christian was angry, in fact the only thing that did stop him was his phone ringing as he thought it might have been from me. He slowly came back to reality as he looked at his phone and saw it was from the hotel. He quickly answered and received information that I was safely in bed. He took a breath and turned off his phone. He looked over at the quivering man.

"How could you do that to her? She was already way broken before you and you just destroyed her. She may never love ever again because of you. I know what I did was wrong but at least a lot of that had to do with miscommunication. I still thought of her every-day and tried to contact her but you!" He looked at him with complete disgust which you could here in his voice. "You, you betrayed her, you actually cheated on the most amazing person you will ever meet and you have the audacity to do it in her apartment and not even get rid of the girl you cheated on her with. No, you give her coffee and I can only presume one of Y/N's dressing gowns. You have until noon tomorrow to pack up your stuff and get out and yes I will be back on the dot to check make sure your ass is out of the building." he turned to go and stopped his tracks. "Also, you might need some ice for that face and no don't you even think about taking Y/N's. Even her fucking water is too good for a spineless ignorant ass such as yourself." then he walked out leaving the room still and speechless.

Christian had anticipated my reaction might not have been so favourable since I didn't have a great fondness of violence but instead of all that crap I pushed him to the wall and started kissing him again. His hands were on my waist pulling me closer to him but he couldn't help but pull apart to ask one thing.

"Y/N, I need to ask you a question, will you be my girlfriend again?" I looked up at him and gave him huge smile.

"Yes, of course!"

It was three years later and the butterflies were going crazy within the pit of my stomach. 

"Y/N, you look beautiful!" Julie wiped the tears from her eyes protecting her makeup.

"Thank you!" I couldn't stop smiling I was just too excited.

"Your mother and father will be watching over you now with only pride and happiness." Christian's mother said as she squeezed my hand and said farewell for now as she wen to take her seat.

"Can I just say, I'm honoured to walk with you today, I know your father will have dreamt of this moment and I only hope to do him justice." Christian's father said.

"Thank you so much for doing this. I honestly can't wait anymore!"

"Are you ready Y/N?"

"To marry the love of my life? I've never been more ready in my entire life!"

 The End.

I hoped you enjoyed this series as much as I did writing it!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

[tumblunni]

While Nintendo IS overzealous against the Rom Sites, lets not pretend that the Rom Sites are 100% guilt free heroes: some of them DID host Roms of the stuff Nintendo still actively distribute like 3DS games. There is a massive difference between hosting games that are rare/unlikely to resold/too pricey to buy and hosting games that are common/easy to buy. The problem is that Nintendo is attacking BOTH with the same zeal. Plus Nintendo needs to understand that not all people just want free games.

I dunno why you’re messaging this to me instead of the OP of that post, tho? Especially since I literally never said any of that? Like umm I completely agree with the fact that pirating games you could easily buy is bullshit, I never said it wasnt. Nobody arguing for emuparadise said this, as far as I know. It’s 100% “that was goddamn overzealous, you’re attacking both with the same zeal”.

Tho I have downloaded roms of modern games before, but only when its a game I already own and I just wanted a form of it that I could record for lets plays, cos capture cards are super expensive and there’s no shops as far as I know that do it for a european 3DS. Also sometimes have downloaded roms cos i wanna make rom hacks or just open them up and look at how they work to learn new things about my favourite series! Like there’s stuff like Boundary Break and The Cutting Room Floor who find unused content and interesting details that would otherwise have gone unseen. And TCRF paid loads to snag a rare pokemon beta rom cartridge off ebay and had hundreds of people working non stop to unpack it IMMEDIATELY and even translate all the japanese! This was content that would have never been seen by ANYONE if not for emulation communities!

Also like.. sometimes people do bootleg games without necessarily having evil motives. Like sometimes when i was really poor I made stupid decisions and downloaded bootleg roms of games that i couldnt afford. When I grew up and understood more about how wrong it was, I stopped! My dad was a really nasty bastard and he always used to rent games from blockbuster and then rip the roms or burn the discs to use on a chipped playstation, then just return them immediately and get a full game for £3. That was how we got ALL our games as kids, I was raised in that sort of stupid environment and those are definately the kind of rom-users that I don’t support.

But like still.. sometimes.. downloading like one rom when you’re legit broke is maybe not so evil. Whenever I did that during my one year in and out of homelessness, i always used to treat it like an “unofficial demo” and like.. impose limits on myself so i wouldnt allow myself to play the whole game and steal the whole experience. It was just ‘i cant afford it right now, i will try the first level and see if i want to buy it. And then I will buy it.’My rule is “if you ever pirated a thing, you have to buy it when you get the chance”. I spent the next few years just buying physical copies of all of those games/films, even the ones I didnt like! I used rom versions of RPGmaker for years and then as soon as i had a better financial situation I bought the newest most expensive version and three more copies for all of my friends! And like in the case of games that are out of print now but werent out of print when I pirated them, I’ll buy a bunch of other stuff that the company made in order to support them.

SO YEAH, Bunni’s Personal Rules of Roms!

* If you already own a legit copy of the game, you are allowed to download a rom of it. You already paid for it, after all.* If the game is impossible to buy anymore and roms are the only way to play it, there is nothing wrong with that rom.* Fan translations are in the same category, If it can’t be bought in your country then you really have no other choice if you want to play it. And from experience, whenever these games finally get dubbed years later they get a huge amount of sales from everyone who played the fan translation! Like i still cannot believe they finally released Princess Maker in english like 15 years after the original DOS version?? The official translation was really grammatically bad but i was still so happy to be able to support the official company!* Rom hacking is fun and cool and do lots of it, yes. Its a fan work and it comes from people’s love of the game! But still please only do it if you own a legit copy of the original game!* If you’re too broke to get a game and you’re being tempted to use a rom, treat it like a “demo”. You can play it now but you have to buy it when you do have the money! If you really love this game you’ll want to support the creator, yo! No matter how long it takes! It took me like five years to be able to finally buy rpgmaker and god damn it was satisfying to finally get that off my conscience, lol* Tho if the game’s creator is some sort of absolute fucknozzle that you dont want to support with your money, then its potentially arguable that it’s okay to use a rom. But trying to get a preowned copy or watching a lets play is still better! Also like don’t do this unless its a REALLY justifiable cause. Like not just “i dont like this guy” but “there is actual proof he has made holocaust denying tweets/used his fame to advocate for gay conversion therapy/taken nude photos of his coworkers/embezzled money to make the game/etc”.* Roms of demos or preview discs or other content that was already free = literally no reason why nintendo should take that down. It’s just an archive of important moments in the game’s history!* Roms of illegal bootlegs also make no sense to be taken down in this blanket ban. Like yo the console creators literally do not own those or make any money off of them, and its GOOD that people arent giving money to the bootleggers! (And, again, its the kind of videogame history that would be easily lost without rom dumps.)

Also lol srsly why cant nintendo just say ‘take down all the roms of games that are currently available for purchase, you can keep all the archived old ones’. Like that would solve the problem without pissing off the fanbase! or seriously yo just add more of those unavailable games to the virtual console...

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh

oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.

-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still

-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)

-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?

-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)

-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)

-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump

-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)

-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence

-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙

-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??

-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen

-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked

-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo

-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬

-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)

-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂

-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)

-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs

-the collector 🎵👌🏻

-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts

and lastly:

-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON

-random thoughts-

these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in

•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain

•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin

•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔

•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)

•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)

•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)

•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?

•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings

•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?

•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah

•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)

-dad talk-

•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way

•nancy + carson : suffering

"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting

•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :

•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him

•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative

•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc

*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)

•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma

•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?

•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable

okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘

[sloblesbian]

been doing a new years resolution & reflection post every year since 2014 so im gonna continue that trend. 

personally this was a really great year for me. it’s very weird. things are objectively bad. if you think too much about the future things start to fall apart. there isn’t anything to rely on, outside of my own ability, and that’s limited in what i can do without support. but. it’s not hopeless. i dream a lot of finally graduating and getting a job that will keep me more than just barely afloat, and of what that could mean for me... i won’t graduate for at least 2 year (i need 56 more credits-- i think after 2 years i’ll have 2 more classes to get in, unless i manage either some summer courses or 2 semesters of 5 classes, both of which are unlikely) and even then i know finding a job is hard. theoretically i could start now but i find it difficult to work 30 hours a week and go to school. i’m also afraid that i might make less at an entry level job than at my current job... but maybe this summer i will apply at some bookstores & libraries. 

also... i really love my girlfriend. she’s coming to stay with me for 2 weeks in march and i am so excited. it’s been a good year for us. every day i talk to her and she really understands and like, gets me you know? i am amazed and i fall in love some more. 

also i accomplished a ton in 2017. maybe not the things i set out to (i finished 1 sock that i started last november, lol, and the only short stories i read were a few online and for school) but i transferred to RIC. i only took 2 classes because i couldnt register till june but i got As in both of them and my gpa is a 4.0 which has never happened in my LIFE. i’m excited about the classes i’m starting this month, and after i finish spanish & anthropology i should only have english classes from then on out. i wouldn’t say i love my current job but it’s miles better than working in retail. it’s less stressful and while i’m generally working less hours i am making a little bit more. it feels necessary & helpful as opposed to being in an endless capitalism machine that only exists to grind me down for unreasonable standards. 

but i did read 100 books which was real touch & go for a while.. the first couple months of 2017 i barely read & felt like i had lost my ability to plow thru a ton of books, then the middle of the year i caught up & jumped ahead... fell behind, etc. i finished my last book on the 28th though. i read a lot of comics; my page count for this year is way down, but it doesn’t matter. that’s still damn impressive. 

and for things i didn’t plan at all but still accomplished: i wrote 4 pieces of fiction this year. i mean. they’re all fanfiction, which isn’t really something i even read never mind write, which i think is maybe??? sort of even more impressive? i’m going to try and write some original stuff in the coming year but like. right after nanowrimo, my friends and i, who were previously in the fictional coalition of writers who don’t write, uh, all started writing. which is great. but i mean. i started writing in february? march? i wrote a 10k word fic, and then a short follow up, a short pjo thing, and i wrote another 6000 words this month but it’s not on ao3 cause it’s like... a complementary piece to something that isn’t finished yet, lol. overall about 20k words which isn’t too much in the long run but i like that i wrote 4 completed pieces. it’s nice because i had sort of let myself give up on writing because... i mostly don’t enjoy it. i don’t like scrounging for ideas. but i do like planning things out enough, outlining what i want to happen, and then writing the whole thing. it’s like writing a list and then accomplishing it which... as u know, i love. as far as i can tell uhh most people don’t need to do this. i really have to know like. the end trajectory of a piece before i start writing. i don’t have to know every detail but if i am confused to where it’s going i can’t write it. i’m not great at ideas but i am good at making things happen. it feels nice to accomplish something creative, when i basically haven’t since i uhhh dropped out of art school. 

also, i wrote 47 reviews, which, damn! i (read: my bff & roommate mags) put up a new website, even if it is going to come down this month (i think. i wanna transfer everything first) and i wrote a review nearly every week and a lot of them were good. like. that’s a lot of writing, between fiction & what have u, what category do my dumb reviews fall under. 

(FOOD/DIET warning i dont wanna put it in the tags of the post just skip this paragraph) oh also i cut dairy & eggs (& also gelatin & honey, i guess) out of my diet, & i feel very very good about it (also i think i lost something like 20 lbs-- i don’t weigh myself but uhhh thats good thats very good). when i stopped eating meat in 2010 i lived with my mom & my intention was to one day go vegan but like... i didn’t want to put the strain on her & also i sometimes struggle with food things. but it’s gone really well. it’s nice. feel good. love to cook. very good at it. 

so like...... a really good year for me. here’s what i want out of 2018

i’m cutting my reading goal down specifically because i don’t think it’s something that can grow exponentially and i think the main reason i was able to accomplish it was because i didn’t have too much school this year. when i started setting goals for myself in 2012 my original goal was 50 books; that’s what we’re going back to.

every year (except 2016 when i was realistic) i told myself i would read more short stories & knit more. i’m hoping that having less to read (which i prioritize over all other hobbies) will give me more time. also i have a desk & a chair set up which... idk... helps? i put some knitting stuff there & grafted the toe of a sock the other day, so i hope it does, at least. i read a short story yesterday so i hope that’s a portent for 2018. i want to finish the time travelers almanac at least. i have a lot of collections and i do enjoy them. it’s just easier to get through novels than anything else. 

if u follow my twitter you have probably heard me say this but: 2018 is the year of the video game for me. im, uh, terrible at games- im fairly certain i have dyspraxia, at least mildly (im wildly, wildly uncoordinated)- but for a while i was playing a few because i had done it enough that i had gotten better..... well, this year i played persona 5, which i really loved like. more than any video game in a long time. i know a lot of people were disappointed with aspects of it (rightly so) but i had never played another persona game so i think that probably shaped my opinion some, and also, i think p5 dealt with issues that i really love to see in fiction & generally don’t, even if it ultimately dropped the ball. anyway. it kind of revitalized my interest, and i want to play more. i have p4 that i want to get through. i never finished usum. i have a bunch of games on steam & mags let me sign into their steam library too & they have about 400 games (thats not an exaggeration). i wanna replay me2&3 for sid. i want to practice so i can play games that are more difficult than i usually do. (mass effect being the sole fps i can play, usually i can only play very linear rpgs (think pokemon & dragon age) and uhhh puzzle games, god i love puzzle games) 

so, more concretely:

read 50 books

try to read more short stories

knit more

play video games

do well in school

that sounds good. happy new year.

[clarkgreggreporter]

The Reddit MarvelStudios AMA (Ask Me Anything) with Clark Gregg, May 16, 2017 (click here to read all the questions)

A: (out of sequence, so no question): Well, this week I'm really missing Bill Paxton and Powers Boothe because we lost them and they were both such excellent guys.

A: Missed a few questions there. I'll try to answer some. I love the MCU and love watching the movies and I miss my friends in those casts. That said, I am really proud of where we've gone with Agents of SHIELD and I love this bunch of actors and writers (and crew) as much as any I've ever worked with.

Q What upcoming MCU property are you looking forward to the most? Tahiti is a magical place! A: Anything with Adam Warlock and that may have just been teased in GOTG2

Q Do you have any stories and/or favourite memories of working with the late Bill Paxton? Thanks! A: So many. Just the big grin he'd show up with every day and say, "Bud-dy..." Just a great guy and a wonderful actor/filmmaker with more stories than anyone I've ever met.

Q: What is your favourite MCU movie? A: Pretty damn psyched for Captain Marvel especially with the amazing Brie Larson

Q: Hi! Thank you so much for being SO awesome. In Avengers, when Coulson has been stabbed by Loki and gets to shoot him with the massive gun, he says "oh, that's what that does". What do you wish that gun had done? A: Gone off on its own a minute earlier.

Q: Hi! Thanks for doing this. What's your favorite hand? And if you could have any new hand for your character, what could it do? Thank you! A: The SHIELD attachment does not suck

Q: Hi Clark! Thanks for doing this AMA and everything you've done for the MCU. Love your portrayal of A.C. (Daisy needs to bring that back imo). Have you had any input or influence on the development of Coulson? A: I have some input but most of the great stuff on our show is straight from the writers.   Dream storyline involves saving the Defenders and the Avengers and the Guardians and the Royal Family and everyone in Legion when they get themselves in trouble with Thanos. In a musical episode by Lin Manuel Miranda. (Hamilton)

Q: u/70astralaxe wanted to ask you those question but he coudn't so I'll Phil in [sorry for the pun...]    Favourite Star Wars movie.    Favourite MCU movie.    Whether he had any "holy shit" moments during script-read/when filming a scene.    What he wants for the future of MCU/SHIELD.    If he is planning on doing non-MCU stuff anytime in the near future.    Favourite Ice-Cream Flavour.    Favourite Holiday Destination. A: I'll pick 2. Empire and that coconut something from Ben and jerry's

Q: Clark, it was great seeing you at Denver Comic Con last year. I was the one who told you I loved Choke as well as the intro you wrote for Avengers: Endless Wartime. My question though, do you have any projects coming up that you are writing/directing? Choke was 2008, and Trust me was 2013, so I was hoping we were due for something else soon. Thanks, love your work. A: Writing a film and a sci-fi pilot. Hope to make something next hiatus.

Q: When Joss called you up about Much Ado About Nothing, what was your reaction? Did you get any say in your role? Have you done any other Shakespeare? Thanks for doing this AMA today! A: I was terrified when Joss called, but excited because I had just had a dream I was doing some Shakespeare and it felt ordained. And I love Joss.

Q: Have you watched GOTG Vol. 2 yet? A: Yes. Laughed my ass off.

Q: Hello, What's your favourite MCU movie? Also, what does RDJ smell like? A: I'm a big fan of the Avengers and anything with Cap. Or Stark. Or Thor or the Guardians. Or Strange. Let's face it, I'm a Marvel slut. Robert smells like warm beaches and babies laughing and a freshly washed thong.

Q: What kind of changes in perspective on your character did you work on to bring the 3 different versions of Coulson to life this season? We've had Agent Coulson, Robo Coulson, and Mr. Coulson. What was the most fun about doing that? Also, minor question, do you happen to know what brand / model of glasses you were rocking in the Framework? (I tweeted @amandalynnriley, but alas no response). A: It was fun to have new takes on Phil. Amazing work by the writers. Especially geeking out teacher Phil with his soap. The glasses are called Barton Pereira (sp)

Q: What would like to do for a living if you weren't an actor, besides dominating in lip sync battles? A: Music something. probably not very well. But I loved being in a band. A lot.

Q: Hi Clark! Awesome for you to do this before the big season finale. How do you think your character has changed between now and the beginning of Iron Man 1? In other words, do you think your acting of Phil Coulson has changed that much in 9 years? A: Ah, jeez, I don't know. The character has been through a lot and gotten older, so maybe he's less innocent and a little darker, but I probably am too. I don't know about the acting. I try to forget that's what it is.

Q: Do you read your fanmail? If so, what's something cool a fan has sent you? A: I do. I get amazing stuff and try to answer it all. I've been sent crocheted blankets and lola pillows and maybe some underwear.

Q: Thank you for putting your all into Coulson. He's my favourite character in the entire Marvel universe. As for my question, how much of Clark has gone into the role? Specificially the frequent Star Wars references... is that your input or does it come purely from the writers? A: The writers and I love Star Wars and couldn't imagine Coulson wouldn't as well. There's a bunch of me and then some stiff that's verrrrry different from me.

Q: More serious question: One of the things I love about AoS is how men and women fight each other as equals. But I've wondered if that took the male actors a little getting used to, going all out punching and kicking female actors. Did you find that awkward at first? A: Definitely. Really did not like punching May or Daisy even though neither was a real punch.

Q: Hey Clark! Huge fan of your work in the MCU. My question. Did you know that when you died in the Avengers that you would be brought back for SHIELD? Thanks! A: I did not. Neither did they. #CoulsonLives gave them the idea. So thanks.

Q: What's the weirdest thing a fan ever asked you to do? A: Sign a boob. But it was a big boob so I wrote my full name and then Agent Coulson.

Q: With the amount of time Coulson has been spending in the field in AOS, it has become more and more unlikely that the Avengers wouldn't know that Phil is still alive. Do you personally think any of them know? A: I really wish I had a good answer for that, but I don't. Some day.

Q: Yo Clark! I'm sure you're gonna get a bunch of marvel questions and that's awesome. But I know you're a basketball fan so this is my first question. Who ya got winning the finals? And secondly: Any advice for someone who's dream is to work within marvel either on the tv side or movie side? A: Warriors look soooo good. To work for Marvel it helps to love comics and marvel and then just try to be really good at what you want to do there.

Q: Hey Clark! Read any good books lately? A: Yes. The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Mirukami

Q: What was it like meeting Melissa Benoist for the dubsmash battle? And have you met any of the other CW heroes? A: I think she's amazing. Loved her in Whiplash. And the fact that she took part in that for charity made me love her even more.

Q: I've been marvel fan since my early childhood, having been born without half of my right hand, my parents and superheroes have always been the biggest source of inspiration. Even in my wildest dreams, i couldnt have predicted these last 10 years, what MCU has achieved and how popular these stories would become all around the world, in that way im living my childhood dream- to see it all done well on the silver screen. What is even crazier- I wouldnt have predicted that the Son of Coul, a shield agent from phase one movies, would start his own show- his own team. Over the years, Aos became , in my humble opinion, the best that superhero tv shows can offer right now, and most recently, even a better source of fun than some of the MCU movies. Past week, i have been buzzing, that we re getting another season. Mostly, i want to say THANK YOU, to everyone who helps to make this show what it is, a source of inspiration and fun to look forward to almost every week. Thank you Mr. Gregg, for breathing life into this awesome character, and also for motivating me in my own studies, and career. I just wanted to express my gratitude, and ask, recently, the Ghost Rider, LMD and Framework arcs have cemented the greatness of this show. When you got first approached to make a shield show, did you think it would end up as such a compelling characters, stories, effects and going for 5 seasons on a small screen? Did you have any doubts? Was there ever a moment when you got a script/shot a scene, where u said to yourself : "Wow, this is amazing" ? Thank you, wish you and the whole cast/crew all the best in making another successful season. A big fan, all they way from Slovakia A: This made my day. Thank you.

Q: What did you think of Iron Fist on Netflix? Do you think it deserves the criticism? What would you have done different if you were the showrunner? A: I love Iron Fist. Both seasons. (then...another reply) Oops. I meant Daredevil. Didn't sleep too well.

Q: Do you remember your time on The Shield well? Great performance. Any fun stories from the set? A: My friend David Mamet directed and the character was so uhinged I felt wrong afterwards. Also, Billy Gierhart who has directed the most eps of AoS was the cameraman on that ep.

Q: As a big fan of What Lies Beneath and Choke, can we expect to see you work behind the camera on Agents of SHIELD any time soon? A: I may direct an episode in season 5. if I don't pass out from exhaustion just thinking about it.

Q: Jed Whedon recently made his directing debut in SHIELD's episode Self Control, which is probably my favorite episode of the show now. What was it like having him direct? Do you think we can look forward to more episodes helmed by him? Great job this season by the way! Coulson's speech a few episodes ago rocked, Captain America would be proud A: jed was amazing and that may be my favorite too. He better direct some more or we'll drag him down to set and make him.

Q: Hey Clark! Thanks for coming by! In about a year we'll be coming up on Iron Man's 10th Anniversary, which means you'll have been playing Coulson for 10 years. How does that feel? And, if you could have Coulson appear in any Marvel-related property, what would it be? A: Wow. Ten years. I feel very lucky. I could have been stuck that long playing a character I didn't love in a world I didn't care about. #Grateful

Q: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D has been renewed for a fifth season, but does not appear on ABC's Fall schedule. Obviously, it will start later, but we've been getting mixed signals. Do you know if Season 5 will be a full, 22 episode season or has it been shortened? A: Yes. Full season after the 8 eps of The Inhumans. Then we do our whole run. Could be cool that way.

Q: Can you tell us anything about today's AoS finale? A: Coulson will change.

Q: This is also a question from my girlfriend, who is at work and can't ask herself: Do you think Phil and May will have a happy ending? A: I won't touch that one.

Q: How would coulson react to meeting the defenders? A: He would geek out. But who knows, maybe they would too.

Q: Two questions: first, I'm currently binge watching the West Wing and I have to ask what it was like working with dialog written by Aaron Sorkin?  Second, are we ever going to see your wife, Jennifer Grey, on AoS? A: Aaron's dialogue is like no one else's. I did Sports Night, TWW and A Few Good Men on Broadway. So I'm lucky. He did a lot to put me on the map.

Q; Hi Clark! Thank you for doing this! I can’t wait for tonight’s finale. Can you take us through what it was like auditioning and successfully getting the role of Coulson? Did you ever imagine that the role would develop and expand like it has over time? A: Never auditioned. Got an offer to play a part that was two scenes in IM. Then they added more and more scenes. Cut to Phil nine years later about to walk into the season 4 finale where he will finally (REDACTED)

Q: Clark, you all have been doing such a great job over the last few years. Why do you think Agents of SHIELD has resonated with so many fans around the world? A: Because thanks to the cast, crew, the writers and Marvel the show keeps getting better all the time. That's very rare.

Last Words From Clark: Thanks so much of the great questions. Sorry I couldn't answer more of them. Acting in an independent film today so I have to run. Join me on the twitter for the S.4 finale tonight. Love you all.

[ellimac2016-blog]

Warmth of a Thousand Suns- Ch. 2

Thank you to the one person who liked chapter one! That was enough for me to continue so heres the second chapter. Still PG rated at this point. ___________________________________________

Yuri couldn’t stop thinking and couldn’t pay attention to his work. Not only was it friday and he could have the weekend to relax away from his dim lifeless cubicle, but he had Viktors wallet in his pocket waiting to return to its owner tonight. As Yuri left Viktor’s apartment upon their first meeting he quickly grabbed, what he thought was his, wallet on the counter, incidentally it was not. Now Yuri is fidgeting and wondering how to go about returning it in his head.

“Should I go back to his apartment and ring the bell? I don’t know any other place to find him. What about how I left last time? Will Viktor be mad? Did he even notice how unsettled I was? Did he care? I was nothing more than a muddy mistake during his morning run, right? Should I leave it in his mail box and not even see him, but I really want to see him.. I really want to see him?”

Yuri groaned and sneered at himself under his breath

“shit”

Viktor sure knew how to consume Yuri’s thoughts even though they just met. He was just so damn striking. He was beautiful, kind, and for some reason Yuri just felt like he had to see him again. When Viktor was around, for the first time in many years, Yuri felt alive. His whole world has been grey and dim, suddenly with Viktor its silver and the sky is the most vibrant blue it has ever been.

“Hey dreamer how’s that translation coming?”

Phichit leaned his head on Yuris shoulder, he was so startled he let out a little squeal like a mouse. Yuri had known Phichit since their university days and they had been best friends since. In fact Phichit was probably his only friend. They both studied language in college and now work together doing translations for a variety of different outlets. Of course Phichit was more skilled than Yuri and the thai man had become the supervisor in Yuri’s division. Everyone around Yuri seemed so much more than him. They were always more talented, clever, sociable, and attractive. Phichit was no exception. Thinking back again to Viktor his Yuri hung his head thinking that even Phichit would look better next to Viktor. In contrast to Viktors silver hair and fair skin, Phichit had tanned skin and medium brown hair. He was also tall and very fit with a huge bright smile and the personality to match. There didn’t seem to be much space in Viktors world of diamonds for a rock like Yuri.

“Hello? Earth to Yuriiiiiiii”

Phichit began to hum in his ear

“Im here, im here boss”

Yuri hummed back with a weak smile knowing Phichit hated when Yuri referred to him as his boss, even though it was only true.

“Whats going on with you? You seem down, well not really down, but distracted today. One minute you have a goofy smile and the next you’re frowning. Plus-” Phichit points to yuris computer screen “-the day is almost over and you haven’t even finished the first of three translations you wanted to do today”

Yuri cringes, of course now even his work performance was becoming lackluster.

“seriously what’s going on? Its unlike you to be so unfocused and filled with emotions. Usually you work like a lifeless robot”

Phichit teased and started to do the robot dance giggling. He always knew how to pull Yuri from his thoughts, unfortunately today he was in quite deep.

“Let’s take a break and I will tell you all about it”

Yuri sighed and walked with Phichit to the, luckily empty, breakroom. This wasn’t a conversation he particularly wanted people to hear.

Yuri inhaled deeply and decided to tell Phichit what happened that morning not leaving out even his inner monologue for each situation. By the end he realized how eventful his morning really was.

“So… in short-”

Phichit began with a little grin and took a deep breath and began to summarize, rather crudely and quickly

“- you got tackled by a hot russian guys dog, covered in mud, went to hot guys apartment to shower and change, found out hot guy was an author that thinks you’re cute, plus he is also gay, and then you ran out not understanding that your feelings meant ‘hey me I think I want to jump hot foreign man that thinks i’m cute’”?

Yuris mouth had fallen open half way through Which Its description and now he was red up to his ears

“P-Phichit! T-that’s not at all what h-happened! And did your not hear the whole he’s beautiful and i’m me section of my explanation!”

Yuri was very obviously flustered at this point and began to regret telling Phichit, who was very open about all things risque and played on both fields of sexuality. Yuri could feel the embarrassed heat flood his body and began to hang his head low again.

“Yuri-”

Phichits voice suddenly got serious

“I don’t think you see yourself the way others do. I told you same thing back in college once didn’t I”?

A whole different blush flooded Yuris face now. Phichit did tell Yuri this once in college. When they were both drunk and laying together practically naked while Phichit tried to convince Yuri that he was actually quite sexy and couldn’t believe he had never been with anyone. This was the same day Yuri found out Pichit would become romantically involved with anyone of any sex or orientation. Nothing happened between them that night because after Phichit ranted about how he was going to solve Yuri’s ‘virgin problem’ he promptly fell asleep. The next day he told Yuri he couldn’t remember a thing. Yuris voice came out as a whisper

“Y-you told me you couldnt remember that night?! How much do you remember?!”

Yuris eyes began to sting as if he might tear up or cry of embarrassment.

“To be honest I remember all of it. I wasn’t as drunk as you were”

Phichits voice lowered a little

“I acted like I didn’t because you were my first crush in college, but even after you got drunk you kept turning me down, no matter how much I tried to flaunt myself at you. I didn’t want you to know I remembered in case the friendship would end there. I accepted it and decided I wanted to be your friend if nothing more. I had just never had anyone not be attracted to me before.”

Phichit laughed at the last part. It was clear he was over what had happened back then, but felt bad about lying to Yuri all these years. Yuri felt almost mad at Phichit and his, what seemed to be a heavy misunderstanding. Yuri quickly blurted his response without thinking it through carefully.

“I WAS attracted to you. You were stunning too! You always have been and that’s why I felt that I didn’t fit. You’re like Viktor, you’re a diamond and i’m a rock Phichit. It had nothing to do with attraction and desire. It was just….”

Yuri got quiet knowing he has said too much, but he at least wanted to finish his response. Even if it came out as a whisper

“it was just I had no confidence and I was sure in the morning you would blame being with someone like me on the fact we were drunk.”

Phichit began to laugh. Not a little snicker but full on rolling laughter like a thunder storm. He even had to wipe away a tear in Yuri’s surprise.

“Yuri no. No. No. No.-”

Phichit was still laughing and talking in a serious but playful way to his best friend.

“- you’re a diamond to. You may not be tall, or outgoing, and devilishly sexy-”

Phichit winked and Yuri couldn’t tell if he was trying to be helpful or of he was rubbing salt in an already aching wound

“- but you don’t have to be those things to be a diamond Yuri. I don’t think you really look in the mirror enough. You’re not tall. But you have a great build and even in a suit I can tell you must be incredibly strong. You’re shy and quiet but that has its own gentle attraction as well. Plus I have seen you when your personality comes out too. You’re the most dependable friend I have ever had and you have a sexy devilish side to. You’re very cute Yuri. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Yuris mouth was again wide open and he felt like he had a blush going across his entire body. No one had ever ranted like that to Yuri before. He always thought he was just a very typical looking japanese man. He didn’t realise how much that had held him back his whole life. Never having the confidence to show anyone his feelings or to get a partner in fear that they would leave him once they realised that he just isn’t that great. Yuri has the best friend he could have ever asked for. He is always there when Yuri needs him.

“Now go get yourself that sexy foreign man Yuri!”

All Yuri can do is nod meekly with a smile. It may take a while, but maybe he isn’t just a rock, but just in need of a good polish.