#( even though that doesn't make sense cuz they probably would've done it by now if that were the case? )

[deadveiled]

( i think it's okay to hate me, actually )

[yanderes-galore]

holy crap i'm really glad your allowing requests today for tomorrow cuz surly i would've forgotten ^^; can i request a sans prompt 1 and 24 from yandere-daze's prompt list? here's a little plot for you if you wanna follow it :3

darling has done a genocide run NOT because they wanted to or hated/was afraid of monsters, but to get rid of sans and live on without killing asgore and anyone else (maybe idk, they would probably erase the world to out of guilt) in the judgement hall, that's when the prompts come in? like i said, it's up to you to follow the plot! also, answer this in dms, are we allowed to send more then one request? i wanna make sure before request more. keep up the good work btw! :)

Ahh... so if they just want to kill Sans it's more like a neutral run? Either way, I hope I take this in a good direction, friend :)

A/N: I was screenshotting the original fic to send to the requester for editing... only to delete it and have to rewrite the fic from screenshots :')

Prompts Here

Yandere! Sans The Skeleton Prompts 1 + 24

“ I love you so much you have no idea.”

“ It’s okay for you to love me.”

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Heavy manipulation, Violence, Possessive behavior, Angst, Isolation, Yandere attempts to "redeem" himself, Kidnapping implied, Murder implied, Dubious turned forced relationship.

Sans partially understood your behavior. Despite this, he still thought he kept you happy. You two finally had a true pacifist run after so long.

Only you and Sans were aware of your resets... which was a reason he was close to you and loved you.

He thought you wanted to be happy together. You two were finally able to be together in that timeline. However... even Sans had to admit you didn't seem happy about it near the end.

Perhaps he was too selfish. Near the end of your perfect run he had become more and more... possessive? Controlling?

He loved you... when he saw that look in your eyes, he begged you not to reset. He'll better himself. He's obsessed with you... don't throw this way.

However, Sans didn't get better. He got worse. When you noticed him lock you away in a room, away from everyone else, you reset the run in hopes it will fix things...

It doesn't.

The multiple times afterwards doesn't fix things either. Sans retains that odd anomalous behavior towards you. Why was he the only one that was wrong?

So you figure out there's only one way to try and fix things....

Sans can sense the change in atmosphere when you greet him in the Judgment Hall. He sees the knife in your hand, he sees the dust on your clothes. His smile falters... what were you hoping to accomplish?

Were you that scared to love him?

"Human... you-" Sans tries to say, sockets locking onto the tears in your eyes. What was he feeling? Fear? Sadness? Guilt?

He thought he made you happy... why do you treat him as though he's done something wrong?

"I need to fix things, Sans." You try to say, stepping forward. "I don't want this, neither do you, but you won't let me go."

"Let you go?" Sans echoes, sockets narrowing. "I love you so much you have no idea... why would I let you go?"

"You don't love me. None of what you've been doing is love." You seethe, but Sans can tell you're pained. "I'm going to end this... I haven't hurt that many... I can fix this if I just remove you."

"You don't want to do that." Sans sighs, a sadness in his tone. "You're just... scared. If you just abandon this run now, we can be happy again!"

Sans steps forward this time, watching as you back away with tears streaming down your face. Why won't you let him comfort you? This isn't you... why won't you let him love you now?

"It's okay for you to love me." Sans continues, stepping closer. "We can make things work. I'm... not mad. I'm not mad because this isn't you. Don't you remember when I made you happy?"

"You locked me away! You hurt my family and my friends! You wanted me all for yourself!" You counter, going to swing. Said swing of your blade misses and you see Sans vanish from your sight.

"And I'll do it again," Sans whispers in your ear, using his power to shove you against him. "Because we belong to each other. There's nothing to be scared of, you know I'll take care of you."

There's a deafening silence between you two. Your grip on the knife trembles and you try again. However, Sans moves and snatches your knife.

"You couldn't even do the whole Genocide Run." Sans hums. "You don't really want to hurt them or me, hm? Even after all those other runs?"

You stare at the skeleton as he holds your cheek. His grin is haunting and his eye flares blue. He oddly looks smug... but pleading.

"You still love me... I know you do." Sans whispers, pulling you in for a tight hug. "Just reset one more time... and we can make things just like they were before. You know you can't get rid of me... you know you need me."

His manipulation seems to have worked as you begin to sob into his hood. You've tried so hard to make things right. Yet it appears Sans will always haunt you... and he will always remain the same.

You can't get rid of him just as he said...

In the end, you'll always belong with Sans... just like you did before.

[simm-mouse]

Alright part 2 of my theory on hidden Nervous. I'll have part 1 linked if you haven't read it yet. I suggest reading that one first before this one

Alright, you know the section where I theorized that psp and hidden Nerv being the same clone? Forgot about that part, I no longer believe in that theory(if you personally believe this however that's fine, I'm just changing my views on it.). If you look on the wiki, there are a total of 5 versions of Nervous Subject. We already have two in Sims 2, but he also appears in 3 and 4. But the one in Sims 3 isn't going to be talked about cuz it's just him as a toddler, which doesn't really make any sense because mostly the adults and elders in 2, are children or have not yet been born, not even Glarn and Kitty appear, but Glarn's parents Notso and Zo appear not even as teenagers yet. If we go with the more common theory for the sims timeline that each game adds 25 years later besides 3, which is supposed to be a prequel, then Nervous would be an elder or dead. Which doesn't make sense (I know it's more the fact that the developers didn't really focus on the timeline from the other two games when adding premades from other games, but still it's confusing).

So we're gonna focus on hidden, psp, and 4 Nervous. All three are clones of Nervous. All three are different from the original as the Sims 2 shows copies of some Sims and they're not identical to the original. I mean look at Pleasantview and strangetown's Bella Goths, their appearances are different. Even though all four look different, one thing's the same. All four smell of trauma and cat piss

Hidden would actually not be seen outside of the house as he never got to explore out into the world before his death(which fits more with the name hidden Nervous). He still ages into an elder by the Beaker's experiment. But they didn't have enough elixir of life to age him back, so he didn't get age down right away. So after they torture him he goes up to the roof to look at the sky. Just like with the friday the 13th video, He dies by getting struck by a meteorite.

For psp Nervous, he looks the most normal out of all versions of Nervous. It's pretty known why he's like that, but I like to think that he's the most genetically accurate. He'll have Olive's, and Grim's biological genetics before his death. So he'll be almost completely different, other than having the same clothes, it's hard to tell that he's even a clone. So it's very easy for him to walk around town and not be mistaken as the original Nervous. He would still say that he's just working for the Beakers as a way to hide the truth from others. He probably was caught after they found him trying to sneak out, and that's when It was impossible for him to escape and had more painful experiments done on him. His body just couldn't take it anymore, and that's when he was shocked to death by one of the machines used on him. Well shit, two clones are dead, hopefully the next one doesn't die

The current clone they have is the Nervous from the sims 4. Even though that game is an alternate universe or some dumb shit that messes with the timeline, he's a Nervous so he's gonna be talked about. This Nervous is trapped with now four Beakers. Yes, Atom and Ceres also torment this man. They'd even put the blame on him for the trouble they caused. He has yet to go out and explore the world, so right now he's stuck in the house.

Does Nervous know that he has clones? Probably, he figures that the Beakers would clone him if they haven't put in the effort to get him back since he ran off to live with the Curious brothers. Has he ever met the psp Nerv since he's the only clone that went outside? No, if so they would've been fist fighting

[jaijaitbinks]

Saigenos in their wedding night. They walk home holding hands, almost shyly like during their first dates. Halfway though Saitama scoops Genos in his arms bridal style and runs til they're in the appartment. They leave a trail of clothes from the door to the living room, and luckly they already left the futon outspread in the morning (if not, they would've done it in the floor anyways). The eagerness consumes them after a whole month not having sex because they wanted to reserve it for this moment. And the wait was fucking worth it.

Why can I picture them laughing all the way there-

Like, Saitama picks him up and bolts home after them having a relatively peaceful walk.

On their way home, they started talking about the wedding, melting into each other and murmuring the sappiest shit. They're flexing their fingers, eyeing their rings happily, rambling to each other about how they'd happily have a second wedding just cuz. Hell, they even to the "hand swinging" for a little bit before stopping to laugh at their own sappy antics. Eventually though, Genos remembers their plans for the night. Saitama clearly hasn't, too busy in the middle of talking about getting a house someday. And Genos, because I believe in Genos with Rizz Supremecy, leans over to him a little, taking Saitama's ringed hand in his and rubbing his knuckles. Saitama's still talking up until Genos and says:

"I can't wait to be bonded to you tonight as well, Saitama." It's purred cheekily next to Saitama's head, smirk clear in his voice as much as it is on his face. And Saitama, who was too busy still internally reeling over the fact he's married now, takes a second the undertsand what he means. And when it clicks, he goes red. Excitement hits him like a truck, nearly making him shudder, impatience growing quickly, too.

Cheeks red, he looks at Genos and replies: "Me, er... m-me too. Do you... Do you, uh, wanna run home?"

And that nearly makes Genos laugh. He doesn't, because Saitama's eagerness is also getting him excited, but the quick shift from "hyper affectionate" to "horny and impatient" was endearingly funny.

He agrees, and they both take off running.

Genos is smiling while they run, sparing glances at Saitama's slightly focused face. He looks adorable to him, more serious than Genos somehow.

Mid run though, Saitama suddenly scoops him up, to Genos' surprise. He looks up at Saitama, confused. Saitama simply says: "Too slow."

And Genos starts laughing. It's loud and almost breathless sounding, because "Sensei's awfully eager, isn't he?" He teases Saitama about it, grinning playfully, and Saitama, face going a little red, starts to giggle with him.

He's never seen Genos so expressive before today, and hearing him laugh mingles his anticipation, his joy, and his amusement at his own behavior. He feels such a strong sense of delight that makes him delirious in the best of ways, and he holds Genos closer as he laughs harder, the cyborg joining in soon after. They both start losing their minds over themselves, and neither can tell if it's out of joy or if Saitama's horniness is just that funny. Probably both, but they don't really care about what the answer is.

On the way home, Saitama nearly trips over himself laughing, which only makes them laugh harder. He starts snorting from laughing so hard and Genos winds up curling into him as if his gut was starting to hurt.

They do make it home eventually, but they get there a lot slower than if they would have if they'd ran separately, a result of their laughing fits. By now, they're cackles died down to chuckles and giggles. When Saitama sets Genos down, pulling out his keys to unlock the door, the cyborg is immediately on him, huffing chuckles against his neck between kisses. But he doesn't mind at all.

The door swings open and Saitama doesn't even get the chance to turn around before Genos is ushering him in, shutting the door behind them and pinning Saitama chest-first against the wall.

"Who's the eager one now?" He attempts to tease, looking back at him and laughing breathlessly. Genos kisses him, giggling into his mouth as a hand slides up his front.

Saitama gasps through a smile, and playfully, Genos replies: "Still you."

They're stumbling around in the hallway taking clothes off of each other, mouthing at one another's bodies and still laughing and giggling between breaths, definitely out of bursting joy than actual amusement, now. When they finally make it to the futons, Saitama's already littered in hickies and bitemarks, thighs and in between them messy with artificial spit, and Genos' hair is a mess with dents all over his body, most of which are bitemarks too. But they haven't gotten to the Main Event yet.

When they finally get down to it, those breathless laughs and giggles are gone, instead replaced with loud, loud gasps and grunts and moans. Eagerness swallowing them whole and gluing them to each other, unfiltered, raw love and admiration keeping them going well into the night—maybe even early morning, they're not sure. But by the end of it, during their last orgasms, they're literally cuddling. Cuddling into each other as they reach their peaks, cuddling as they come down from the high, and cuddling as they drift off to sleep pressing kisses to each other's faces.

[travelling-on-the-octopath]

Imma be bold and say that Hopes did the thing that, if 3H would've done, would've made Claude a very boring/predictable character, and that's make him more like The Gard.

Cuz like, when I first played 3H? I thought for sure that Claude was gonna be a genuinely shady and villainous guy - it's part of why I chose him for my first route! I wanted to play a route that had me Being Naughty, and Claude seemed like he was gonna do that in a fun cheeky way. But seeing the distrustful, sneaky, charismatic schemer end up being more like Dimitri in his moral standing and dreams than The Gard, but in a way that still was very distinctly Claude and very unique to his character? And seeing him be a genuinely Good Dude who honest-to-god wanted the best for everyone and tried to achieve that best for everyone, even with all the shit he went through and the environments he was raised in?

That's so much more interesting! Seeing a character hold such a strong sense of self and having so much confidence to be able to hold on to their morals and ideals and then successfully achieve his dreams while playing nice(r)? Where he dips and curves in his methods but never drops? Seeing him bond more with the person who seems to be his opposite than the person who seems to be similar or at least, more readily compatible? That made Claude such an interesting character to explore, and so much better than the typical cheeky villain I initially thought of him as.

But now? Nah - what you see is what you get. The player is told that Claude is completely untrustworthy: Claude is completely untrustworthy. Claude is said to be similar to The Gard: Claude basically is The Gard. No interesting spin, no deeper meaning to his character or his actions. Where before much of his schemer persona was simply a mask to hide the more vulnerable pars of himself, now it's just Who He Is, Completely And Utterly. He doesn't even give a unique spin on being similar to The Gard, like him being similar to Dimitri but still being very clearly different from Dimitri; he's literally The Gard in the entire second half of his own route and a good chunk of SB, down to the letter, with nothing really distinguishing about himself that separates him from The Gard character wise. And that just makes him... really really redundant, predictable, and boring :/

sorry for Yet Another Rant About Hopes!Claude but oh my GOD it's like the more this sits in my brain the more reasons to hate it I find 😭

Don't be sorry ldgjdflgj This is a game that makes you Feel Things whether you want to or not, good or bad.

But you're right! It's disappointingly one-note that Claude is everything people have made him out to be, because the whole intrigue of his character was that he wasn't everything that met the eye. That's his whole thing. The intrigue was in the turn-around--that he strikes the sweet spot between being a good guy who wants good things and being the sort of person to use what's at his fingertips with the creativity/resourcefulness needed to make those good things happen. While it's not bad to make characters predictable (quality lies in construction, not wow factor) it's the fact that everyone continued to go on about how no one knew what was going on in Claude's head and I'm like . . . are you sure? You couldn't . . . You know you couldn't even make a complete shot in the dark? You'd probably be right, let's face it.

And that's a shame! It really is. Claude was never meant to be like either one of the lords, but here we are, with this copy of Her Majesty. Goddamn.

As a more positive statement, though: Claude maintains his enjoyability in Houses even when you know all his secrets; that's the sign of a good character. So props to Houses Claude. Why? For existing. That's all it takes at this point.

[prettyinpinkcatgamer]

ok i see where ur coming from but meth is technically a weight loss solution. also weed does help with asthma it literally opens airways further and like drugs aren't bad

hm i realized im doing that thing where i pick apart someone's sentence for no reason. that's an annoying thing for me to do but it is still true. i wonder if there's any correlation between fatness and adhd diagnosis. that seems like something only i would have ever thought of

anyway haiiii i guess i'll try flirting in a more traditional way. fuck man

they should put the coke back in cola and put weed back in inhalers (ik they were never in inhalers for asthma they were in cigarettes for the most part) um. where was i going with this? ok ur cute and im sorry for going off on u about this i'm really just autistic about it cuz i have asthma and a wikipedia addiction

I love info dumping :3

also, my issues with meth are that it is stupidly addictive among other issues like losing weight not being worth the withdrawal when you're done.

and adhd diagnosis thing is interesting, but at least here in germany it doesn't stand out.

I was like really thin when I was diagnosed, even though I'm now thicc af

and I didn't know anyone else with adhd who was fat

and I agree that thc would probably improve inhalers by insane amounts, actually kinda surprised to learn it's not in there

not like I thought it was, but I never thought about what's in inhalers anyway and thc would make sense to be in something like that

probably just the entire world having a stigma against weed, because of propaganda made by companies who wanted to sell something and weed would've driven their profits down so they made it completely illegal by making it look like it's a horrible evil drug and can't be used for anything except getting high

(I don't remember what exactly that was... I'm so sorry 😭)

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

Terezi seriously deserves so much better... post canon would've been the perfect place to revive her friendship with both Dave and Karkat. but also, her and Vriska's relationship got totally shafted in post canon. for self proclaimed Vriska fans, they don't really seem to be including her? like they basically just replaced her with a bland teen version? what the hell was the point of that? to go off a bit: the most interesting parts of Vriska's story are centered around her traumatic upbringing, which she deals with in ways that make her difficult to love, and Terezi is tied to her through repeated attempts to love her anyway, in spite of how hard it can be.

the trolls actually have a lot of relationships where one person has to decide when to stick by someone, and when to give up. Sollux ends up in a kind of limbo state with Aradia... he still likes who she was, but she's not that anymore when we first meet her as a ghost. Kanaya is interested in Vriska for a bit, but eventually feels unappreciated and used after spending probably longer than she should've trying to become interesting to her. Feferi has to figure out how to give up on Eridan without it resulting in widespread destruction, and that threat is why their relationship is exhausting to her in the first place. and Terezi has probably the most complex conundrum of all with Vriska. the two of them grew up together, and spent a long time killing a lot of their peers. for Vriska, it was essential to her survival and she had no choice, while for Terezi, it was just a recreational activity... and this is why Terezi eventually feels more guilt over it, and is able to realize that she should try to reform herself. meanwhile, Vriska built so much of her identity and self worth around taking pride in her ruthless persona, that it seems inextricable from who she is.

Vriska can't give up her kill-or-be-killed ways, even when she doesn't need to appease her lusus anymore, because this is the metric by which she judges people, and she can't stand to see herself as a victim. to her, weakness makes you killable... the way her lusus threatened her taught her that. failure results in death. and that's what bothers her so much about Tavros. by the standards she grew up under, he shouldn't have even made it as far as he did. but he also didn't even grow up by the same standards as Vriska to begin with. his lusus is tiny and cute, and he's clearly never even been asked to do anything violent before. even the fact that he had a choice is a novel concept. he didn't earn the right to live... not the way Vriska had to. to her, that's not fair. he even wanders into a game called "fatal live action roleplaying" like... the word "fatal" is in the name, looking for a fun adventure. as if Vriska hadn't been using this game to hunt her peers all this time. and she's probably killed a ton of more capable trolls than Tavros. what gives him a pass compared to them? the basic existence of someone like Tavros is like a wound that Vriska can't stop picking at, even while she's too prideful to admit she would've wanted a better life than what she got. instead, she has to hold others to this ruthless standard. if she doesn't, she might have to admit that her struggle was optional, or that it might not have made any sense to demand that much murder from a child. she didn't have to be raised like that. but like hell she's gonna play the victim. and it's alienating to be hated because of the one thing you feel like you've really accomplished. nobody could ever stomach being proud of Vriska, so she does it herself. she only has herself to rely on anyway.

all of this signifies a person who is damaged. she's in survival mode all the time, and it prevents her from forming connections with people. and Terezi sees this. Vriska's connection to Tavros is unhealthy, not just because Tavros is being bullied, but because Vriska isn't moving on. she's still all wrapped up in the idealized superiority of power, and won't admit that she even needs anyone or anything, even though she's genuinely not okay with losing so many of her friends over the Scourge/Charge debacle. so many of them consider this a step too far, but Vriska has genuine trouble discerning what the difference is between this, and her whole lifetime's worth of behavior. this is what she's had to do, and they're all more horrified at her, than they are at the things that made it necessary for her to turn out this way. and they don't have any solutions either. none of her friends can say "oh, well you should've handled it this way. then we could accept you" because the morally responsible thing to do would've been to die. Vriska not existing could've technically saved a lot of lives... if Vriska isn't proud of her strength, she might have to actually start feeling guilty for what she's done. and if Vriska felt a level of guilt that others think is appropriate for what she's done, she'd basically be ruined. people consider her unsalvageable, and she knows they see her that way. it breeds mistrust, and leads to her making all her decisions on her own, without asking anyone's advice or permission. they won't forgive her for even being alive, so screw them anyway. it drives a deeper wedge.

and Terezi is the one who actually understands all of this. she gets it... she was there. but she also knows that it would be healthier for Vriska to admit that she doesn't have to, or want to, live that way anymore. pride be damned, the things they did were awful, and their behavior should change. Terezi always had less riding on her adherence to these standards, so she was able to discard them easier. and now that she's on the other side of it, she knows that the longer you spend acting like that, the more the shame stacks up in hindsight. Vriska is digging herself a hole, and it's painful to watch, because Vriska is still basically Terezi's best friend. it's a hard position... if Vriska is never held accountable for anything, and never suffers consequences, then she may never change. but Terezi also irrationally wants to forgive her. because Terezi also wants to forgive herself. she doesn't want to believe that either of them are irredeemable, but when she kills Vriska, it seems as though they both were. it feels like they were both ruined. from the very beginning, as kids growing up in a fucked up environment, they never stood a chance. it's why they needed each other.

I just really wish post canon could focus on these two healing. they're both so well written, and so complex and interesting... and I was even really liking the hints of John and Terezi picking on each other. let Terezi have low stakes contention with someone! shenanigans that don't result in death would be good for both her and Vriska tbh. and it'd be so funny cuz like, Vriska is fond of John, and Terezi is so peeved by him. I think Vriska really started healing by knowing John, cuz as a human, she has a blank slate with him, and he couldn't have been raised ruthless, even if he would've been adept at being that way. to Vriska, John is an alien and doesn't work on the same scale as her. it leaves the point of survivability pretty moot, so Vriska isn't viewing everything in terms of that with him. and it's nice. she has fun. she gets to feel like a kid in a way that she never got to, because everything really is so simple. what I wouldn't give for the three of them to be able to pal around on earth C, that'd be so interesting!

(I’m not gonna add anything bc this is just, so good)

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Too Cheesy

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: Sickening fluff and insanely cheesy pick up lines.

Summary- Ned agrees to stay at Peter's house and help him find the perfect pickup line to ask out his crush with before spring break. But what happens when his crush tags along and also wants to help? ---------------------------------------

"Nah Peter, too corny."

Peter Parker was standing in the middle of his room, his best friend Ned sitting on his bed, cradling their death star in his hands. Peter scrolled down the screen of his phone. "Okay, how about this one?" After reading, Peter looked to the wall and gave a smug smirk, as if he were actually looking at someone. "Hey [Y/N]... are you religious? 'Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers."

Ned cocked his head to the side. "Is she religious?"

"I dunno, I never really asked before," Peter answered, breaking out of his assumed position.

Ned scrunched his nose a bit. "Well, we probably should stay off of religious pick-up lines then."

"Right," Peter agreed, looking back to his phone again. He scrolled a bit more. When satisfied, he looked up at the wall again, raised his eyebrows with an award winning smile before he recited another.

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless."

"Wow..," Ned said. He pointed and nodded slowly. "I think that's a keeper. Try it again just to make sure though. Oh- and this time, make it more personal."

"Okay," Peter said, going back over the line in his head. He assumed the position and instead of a smug, gave a small smolder.

"Wait," Ned interrupted. "Does this one even make sense? I mean- a pencil still has a point even when it's broken, right? Unless, of course, it's the bottom half, but that would only work if it's a clean break. A-and-"

Suddenly, realizing how completely ridiculous he must look, Peter grimaced. "Ned, why're we doing this again?!"

Ned rolled his eyes. "C'mon Pete. It's because pickup lines always work!"

"A-are you sure? Cuz that doesn't sound right."

"Dude, I'm telling you," Ned defended. "I saw Flash walk right up to Sydney and gave her the perfect pickup line and he immediately got a date! Flash of all people! If he can, you certainly can!"

Peter rolled his eyes. Ned was seriously comparing him to Flash? There were tons of reasons as to how Flash got with Sydney. "But Flash is popular and rich and stuff... I'm just me."

Ned scoffed. "Well..." He looked up with a carefree smile. "If it makes you feel any better, if I were a girl, I'd totally date you."

"..thanks..." Peter said, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. He looked around the room with a nervous chuckle. Ned, apparently not realizing the awkwardness in the room, hasn't looked away and continued to smile at his friend.

Finding his voice, Peter spoke up. "So, um, what was Flash's line anyway?"

"Uh-uh man," Ned answered. "You gotta find your own! Sydney probably already told the whole school, so you'd just be a copycat. Your line needs to be original."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "We're literally looking this stuff up from the internet, Ned! That's not original!"

"Just trust me. Now read another."

"Okay..." Peter begrudgingly agreed. He was regretting this whole thing more and more each second. He took a deep breath and recited his next one.

"[Y/N], my love for you is like dividing by zero– it can't be defined."

He looked to Ned, who was silently contemplating the words.

"...I kinda like it," Ned finally said.

"I don't know," the scrawny teenager sighed, throwing his phone onto his bed. "It needs to be really good! Not mediocre. Tomorrow is my only chance to tell [Y/N] how I feel before spring break starts. I can't back out!"

"Pete, relax. We'll just add it to the list. Now do another-"

"Peter!!! [Y/N]'s here!!!"

The two teenagers froze. Their eyes widened at his aunt May's voice. They looked to the door, then to each other.

"What is she doing here?!?!," Peter whisper-shouted, two seconds from panicking.

"It's your apartment, you tell me!," Ned whispered back, arms flailing wildly.

"She can't be here!," he yelled to himself, pointing towards the door you could be walking through any second now. "She can NOT be here!"

The two quietly went back and forth as you came closer to his room. Normally, you were always more than welcome. But today, unbeknownst to you, Peter's home was probably the one place you definitely shouldn't be.

You poked your head around the doorframe. "Heyyyy fellas!"

They froze, looking to you with their mouths zipped shut. "Why so tense?," you asked, a small smile playing on your lips.

"No reason!," Peter yelled.

"Hey [Y/N]." Ned gave a wide smile.

You return it with a wider smile that certainly betrayed the rest of your face, that held only confusion. "Uh, what's going on, guys??"

They looked to each other, then to you, then to each other again. Ned broke away first this time. "Peter's trying to find a pick-up line to tell his crush was tomorrow!," he spat out quickly, earning an excited gasp from you.

Peter's jaw stopped to the floor. If he were a computer, he would've definitely been crashing right now. "What the hell, Ned?!," he practically screamed, his voice cracking a bit before he covered his face with his hands.

"So, whose the girl?," you asked, pushing through them and climbing onto the top bunk to sit.

"Uh-"

"DON'T. SAY. ANYTHING!," Peter hissed out through gritted teeth.

It didn't take you too long to realize the tension in the room. "Uh, should I come back another time or something?"

"That would be ideal," Peter mumbled under his breath.

Your eyebrows scrunched together in annoyance. Why were they being so weird and vague?

"Okay, did I do something? Is that why you're acting so weird, Pete? I mean, I was gonna try to help you out so you won't make a complete fool of yourself in front of this girl, but-"

Ned dropped the death star as he excitedly clapped his hands together. "That'd be perfect, actually!!"

Both you and Peter groaned as you looked at the peices on the floor. "Ned!"

"At this point that thing needs to stay at my house cuz when it's at either of yours it always breaks!," you laughed.

"Umm..." Peter looked away and took a deep breath. "[Y/N]?"

At this point, he had no idea nor any control over what was going on and the only words processing in his mind were what the fuck.

His crush was not supposed to be here while he was practicing what to say to his crush tomorrow.

"Yeah, Pete?"

But you were here now, and you didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon.

So what's the worse that could happen?

"C-could you maybe, um, help me with this?"

"With your girl problems? Sure. I mean, if we leave it your hands, the poor girl won't even know what hits her."

Ned bit his lip, attempting (and failing) to hide a fit of laughter. "She sure won't!"

"Dude!," Peter hissed, nudging his shoulder.

"So what've you got so far?," you said, watching Peter expectantly.

"Uhh.." He blew out a heavy breath. Welp, he thought. Guess we're doing this now. He picked up his phone and awkwardly read off the line.

"My love for you is like dividing by zero– it can't be defined.."

He looked back up at you, frozen as statue. That was so embarrassing. You smiled and giggled a little. "That was so cheesy!"

"Oh..," Peter mumbled. He'd actually thought that one was pretty good.

"That's only because he's not doing it like he did a second ago," Ned, ever the oblivious one, noted. "C'mon! Do it the way you did it before [Y/N] came in here."

If looks could kill, Ned would surely have been maimed and then ran over a bus by now.

Peter sighed. He looked up to the wall right above where [Y/N] was sitting and gave his best smolder.

But before he could get a word out, laughter erupted the room. "PETE WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!," [Y/N] shrieked, practically falling off the the top bunk of the bed with laughter. "Girls' want a genuine smile, not some James Bond wannabe look!"

"Y-you don't think it looks cool?," he asked, cheeks red as beets by now.

"Frickin' goofy is what that looks like!," she responded. "Gimme your phone."

Peter's face fell. Wow, he thought. I'm way off. No way I'm gonna get her now, except...He looked to Ned, who was practically just spectating the whole thing at this point. Their eyes joined, and they could both tell they'd come to the same conclusion.

What better way to find out exactly what to say than by finding out by who you're going to say it to?

[Y/N] scrolled down a few until she found one that she liked. "Ooh, this one's pretty good." She looked up from the phone. "Now, watch me and I'll show you how it's done." She hopped down from the bed and said the line straight to Peter's face, biting her lip and smirking.

"Hey you, apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"

Immediately afterwards, she broke out of it. "See?," she asked. "That's how it's done." [Y/N] tossed the phone back into Peter's hands before sitting back down. "Now do that."

Peter sucked in a quick breath, lightly tugging the bottom of his gray shirt. "U-uh, um, yeah okay.."

That was hot, was all he could really think at the moment. She's so frickin hot.

Scatterbrained, he stood and looked back at you. "U-uh.. -oh, here's one..." He shook his head slightly, as if attempting to shake the jitters out. "A-are you a cam-mera? C-cuz.. you sure do make me sm-mile," he stammered, ending with beyond awkward fingers guns.

[Y/N] chuckled, biting back a small smile. "Ya know, you're just too cute sometimes..."

At that, Ned's jaw fell to the floor. Peter's face turned a shade of red you didn't believe was even possible.

"Uh, u-um, ah, heh, thanks..."

"Hey yo, my mom's texting me," Ned suddenly announced. "I gotta get home. See you two tomorrow." He smiled at [Y/N] and then looked Peter square in the face with a shit-eating grin. "And good luck Pete!," he said, earning a middle finger from his best friend.

After the door closed, [Y/N] frowned. "What's up with you two? Are you guys fighting?"

"Nah, Ned's just being..." Peter trailed off, shaking his head slightly. If he were to elaborate, he could risk telling you. Better to play it safe. "So was that one good?"

"I mean, it'd be nice if you could g-g-g-get it out!," you mocked with a smile.

"No stuttering then," he concluded to himself. "Stuttering's a turn off."

"Well, not exactly," you corrected. "I actually think it's kinda cute when you do it." Noticing his intense blushing, you grabbed his hands to give comfort. "Just relax. No stuttering. And keep eye contact. Got it, Pete?"

His cheeks reddened as he looked away, desperately trying to redirect his focus from your turned up lips. "Oh, u-uh um, thanks! That's great, ya know! L-lets, ah, just get back to the th-thing- uh, the line..."

And so you did. You helped him til eleven o'clock at night. You went over about fifty. Until there was no way he couldn't have a perfect one to show the girl.

Until the next morning.

Spoiler alert: he didn't find a line.

When you left the indecisive teenager, he'd looked like he was on the right path. He had an entire list of good choices you'd picked out with him, along with practiced ways to do each one.

But, when he woke up and looked back at the list, each one just felt wrong.

Cheesy.

Overused.

Corny.

Lame.

You wouldn't like it. You'd already heard it. It wouldn't feel special to you if he'd told you something you'd already picked out for yourself, even if you didn't know you had.

You'd reject him. And more? Because you were a nice person, you'd probably still want to be friends.

Which was definitely way, way worse.

"Peter!," May yelled. "Engine's being turned on in five! Be there or you'll have to swing to school!"

-

Perer told you he'd tell his crush the line by the lockers during homeroom.

You couldn't wait. 'This is gonna be so awesome,' you thought, scanning the halls for his curly brown hair and wrinkled jacket.

'Of course, this girl better be worth his time or I'm gonna frickin' tackle her....'

The night before, Peter had told you nearly everything about this mystery girl.

He gushed about how she was perfect. Beautiful. Everything he ever wanted.

And you felt happy for him.

But deep inside, you knew that whoever the girl he'd chosen was, you wouldn't approve. Because deep down, you wished that it would be you.

But you and Peter were friends. Since the sixth grade. If anything was ever gonna happen, it surely already would've.

And It wasn't gonna happen...

And when this girl said yes (it's Peter Parker, why wouldn't you?), you'd have to watch them hug, kiss, give inside jokes, and everything else couples did.

And because he was your best friend, you'd have to just sit there and be happy for him.

"Miss. [Y/L/N]. Come on, get to class!," your homeroom teacher yelled, standing by the door, holding it open for you to walk into the classroom.

"Must be late again...," you mumbled, looking around the halls for Peter one last time before making your way to the door.

"[Y/N]!"

You whipped your head to where the voice was coming from. It was Ned, running down the hallway.

"Yeah?"

"He's gonna do it!," he yelled. "He's about to ask!"

You turned towards your teacher. "Um, can I go to the restroom please?"

"Yeah sure," the teacher replied.

Once the door closed, you ran to meet Ned in the middle of the hall. "Ask? Wait, on a date or to actually be his girlfriend?"

"TO BE HIS GIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLLLFRIEND!!," he yelled, shaking you by your shoulders back and forth frantically.

'Wow,' you thought, eyes wide. 'Peter's actually getting some balls now.'

This was it. And you were gonna hold your tongue and watch it happen.

Ned looked over your shoulder as he practically gasped for air. "He's coming! He's coming!"

You pulled his arm a bit, attempting to pull him to towards the wall. "Don't we need to hide? They don't need an audience!"

Suddenly, using his strength against you, Ned turned you around quickly for you to come face to face with Peter.

"Where's the girl?," you said, looking around curiously. After you were met with silence, your curious smile went away. "Pete, where is she? Where's she at?"

"I-it's...um, [Y/N] it's always been-heh. It's you," he answered, looking into your eyes shyly.

Ned could've bursts from joy right then and there. You could feel his grip on your arms tighten out of excitement.

But you didn't care, because you were sky high yourself. "So all that, yesterday? That was all about-"

"Yeah. You."

You sighed, practically frozen. "Major fucking plot twist, dude.."

He tilted his head. "'Saw' level?"

"More like 'Shutter Island' level," you answered.

"Ooh, that was a big one," Ned added brightly.

You shifted slightly. "So, um, what was the line you chose?"

"Oh!," Peter laughed. "How could I forget? Uh-" He grabbed your hands gently. "Okay." Hey blew out a long breath. "Relaxing. No stuttering. And keeping eye contact," he reminded himself aloud before he slowly and tenderly recited the line he'd chosen.

"[Y/N], ahem, um, If I had a penny for every time I thought about you, I'd have exactly one cent.."

You frowned. "Hold on, I don't get it. That means-"

"-Because you never leave my mind, sweetheart."

Raising your eyebrows, your heart warmed and you covered your hand over your mouth. That was one you hadn't chosen. You'd never even heard it before. He'd found it himself.

Noticing your reaction, Peter tensed. "W-was that too much? I'm sorry if that was too much! The last thing I would want for it to be is too-"

"That was perfect, Peter."

He paused. "It wasn't too cheesy?"

"Just a little cheesy," you said, pinching your fingers together and giving a quick wink.

"On a scale of one to ten?," Ned asked.

"Ned!," Peter scolded, quickly sliding his finger over his neck as a warning. He then looked back to you with a timid smirk.

"So, ah, does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?"

"Hmm, I guess it does, huh?," you giggled and turned to walk away just as the bell rang for first period.

-

"Sooooo, how'd it go?," May asked, poking her head around the doorframe of Peter's room.

When Peter turned towards her from his bed, May knew the answer before he even uttered a word.

He was staring up at ceiling twiddling his fingers and grinning like a madman.

"She said yes, May..I-i didn't think she'd actually say yes!"

May smiled. "Well, that's good!"

"Our first date's tomorrow and- Oh God! I might need to find another line to tell her! I'll use the math one this time since she was so excited about acing that test earlier today. Oh my gosh what if- what if we kiss?! That'd be SO awesome! Right, May? Ooh man, what am I gonna wear?? Ned said to wear a tux. But it's just a movie date, not prom! Jeans and a t-shirt should work, right? What if I get there and I'm underdressed?! Why is this stuff so hard?!"

Aunt May watched as the young boy frantically vented to himself and shook her head. "God bless him..."

She looked down at his desk in the corner of his room. On it was a small journal. It was opened to a page labelled 'Pickup Lines To Tell [Y/N]'

Underneath it were lines separated into sections based on 'coolness,' 'nerdiness,' and 'sexiness.'

May furrowed her eyebrows. "Hon, you know pick-up lines never work, right?

"Well May," Peter sighed, leaning back into his bed. "There's a special girl out there that would beg to differ.."

[rurifangirl]

Cuz Idk if I ever said that I had a Dr MC, here he i s😌✨

Amma do everything bout this wholesome dude right below ofc-

Also, I'm gonna take some liberty and just say that he's in a relationship with Ruri, cuz mostly because of them being discussed with me and @a-chaotic-dumbass about possible changes mostly with Ruri's personality and all, so yeah, 👁️👁️

*2022 ruru here n ;; idk how to say so but i did change the fact that he's afab to he's amab, cus i thought bout It for a while and It never made sense so yes; he Is amab*

Name: Kayn

Age: Physically 17/18, without counting the 20 years under the ice

Pronouns: He/Him (Doesn't mind any neos)

Gender identity: Libramasculine

Nationality: Italian/Russian

Birthday: 8 March

Height: 2.00 cms

Sexuality: Demisexual

Personality: While due to him mostly being confused as a ,quiet and focused guy, serious about most things, he's actually the pretty much opposite, as he's a lovey dovey, caring and sweet guy overall, as this Is seen after a while with many people.

Mbti: ENFP

Class: Reaper

Career: Idol

Ex-Skill: Charm

-things about him cuz I think I've already said enough bout the first introduction, and I'll also explain here about his ex too-

Despite him being a Reaper, he still remains physically very weak compared to other people at Cassel, which means he still has to take a lot of precautions in battle due to It.

He's a real, really terrible cook, as the only times he tried to do so, he almost set everything on fire.

He gives cute nicknames for everyone, as he then knows how to refer to them propely due to him more than ever forgetting names, as that would help him recognize them better.

He Is, however, kind of hostile to Hydras due to what they've done to all of the Gen siblings, holding a deep grudge about It to this day.

Because of what he had to endure at Black Swan Bay, he still Is paranoid about the Christmas, as It reminds him of that day where he lost most of his childood friends.

He's probably the most acceptive and empathetic out of everyone else in the cast, because of his good nature at helping everyone as much as he could.

(A point here for the next thing I wrote, there Is in no way this would be possible in the canon storyline, which I know, but I still decided to do so, as it's mostly an au and not the accurate version of It, as the relationship wouldn't be possible in any way, so please, don't overthink about It, and let them be.)

As said earlier, I said that I took liberty with a relationship with him and Ruri, as he over time grew close to him with staying a lot in Taghamara after the events of the levels 70-80, and in that period of time he learned almost everything about him, but as we know further, lvl 94 happends, but with a real big difference that kinda changes It all, because not only due to the earlier gang's intervene and to Chisei's damages being lighter than they would've been otherwise, but also because Kayn decided to save him due to his close relationship, and with the two personality of Chime and Ruri dispatching from one another, It left a path for him to try to have a true relationship with him after Osho's death, as in this au no one really dies.

-Now, onto the last part, his ex-

His ex skill Is called Charm, which gives him the ability of controlling one or more targets at the same time during its time use. He manipulates the target into the beliving of an illusion that makes them think that instead of him, there Is the most loved thing the target wants, as It would be a lover or a goal, so they would peacefully seeking out from It, even though they aren't aware of the illusion. When on bloodrage, all effects are enchanted and last more than usual, as a normal charm would last to 30-40 seconds, these would still last a lot more, as of complete minutes, to a maximum of 2. However, in this case, when the ex Is unused, It would leave the target with serious issues because of the manipulation they had to endure as of right then, and would leave the user in a complete vulnerable state.

Damn, I wrote so long- But yus, this Is my child, and I'd die for him 10/10, beautiful bb 😌✨

[intrepidmare]

MARE'S RECAPS ~ THE MANDALORIAN: CHAPTER 9 "THE MARSHALL"

Oh wow! It's been a while since I've done something like this. Last year, I caught up with season 1 about 2 days before the finale, so I didn't have the opportunity to write reviews/recaps. This season, though, I'm going to 😀 so here it is the first one! 

For the folks that haven't seen the premiere and don't want spoilers, scroll past this, fast and furious, because it's full of them. If you want to blacklist tags to avoid spoilers from me, I suggest that you add #mando spoilers, #the mandalorian season 2 spoilers, and #mare's mando recaps to the list.

I've seen the episode a few times (yeah, I'm that obsessed with the show) so some of my reactions are more visceral than others since I was too excited the few first times I watched it and I missed a lot of details (another reason to rewatch the episode more than once). This recap is loooooong, which is an indication of how amazing it was.

So this my final warning to those avoiding spoilers. Stop reading, right now. The rest of you… enjoy and let me know if you share some of my opinions. I'm always open to chat 😊

Chapter 9 ~ The Marshall

So it begins! It's so exciting!

I knew that Mando and baby Yoda walking in the street at night was going to be the opening scene. I started to think about it after watching the second trailer, and I'm glad that I was right.

It turns out that the red-eyed creatures were not jawas as I saw some people saying.

Baby Yoda was not happy with the little excursion to the fighting arena. Not walking on the streets nor inside watching the fight. I still laughed when he locked himself up in the pram, even if I've watched the trailer like a gazillion times by now and I knew he was going to do it.

And talking about the baby, he's getting more vocal I think. He's making a few new noises, whimpering more, which I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. That he complains more means that he feels safe with his buir and isn't afraid of retaliation for it as he probably was with others in the past and the reason he didn't cry much in season 1. But it breaks my heart that he is stressed. And that child is anxious, I can tell you that much.

The fight with Gor Koresh's thugs was awesome! The gamorrean flying to squash Mando and failing had me cracking up. And omg! Din'd moves! Using his helmet as a weapon and throwing his vibroblade. And leaving Gor Koresh to be eaten! Man of his word, he didn't kill the guy.

On a side note, I would've never guessed it was John Leguizamo who gave voice to Koresh until I saw the credits. Of all the actors who could play the part, I never thought of him.

Umm, I'm curious about the time Mando has spent in Tatooine, which according to him it's been a lot and it makes sense since he knows so much about the Tuskens, their language and culture. I'm guessing he spent a while among them. He had to learn all that somehow. 

When I speculated that Mando was going back to Tatooine after watching the trailers, I said that I was going to riot if he didn't visit his favorite mechanic. Thankfully, I didn't need to worry. I loved Peli in episode 5 of season 1 and I loved her even more now remarking on Din's dislike of droids and trying to keep the baby for herself. Not to mention she complaining about not getting good help these days 🤣

And I ADORE the (improvised?) Birikad Din got for the baby. Of course, the baby is safer in the pram, right (guessing that's why he used it when he met Gor Koresh), but there's something sweet watching him carrying his son so close to him.

And I tell you, Mando has been spending credits lately in baby stuff. I mean, he got a new pram (which I initially thought it was the original that he had somehow retrieved from the garbage in Nevarro, but no, it's not the same, and neither it's the one that Kuiil made) and he also got the bag/birikad thing, which looks brand-new. I wonder what else he bought.

Watching the droids doing maintenance of the Razor Crest makes me think it's all for nothing, knowing that in a few episodes (it might be even in the next one) Mando is going to crash the ship. More than once perhaps.

😆 The baby still loves speed! I think riding on the speeder bike was the only moment that he truly enjoyed in this episode. Look at that happy face 

When they arrived at Mos Pelgo and Din went into the cantina, leaving the baby outside, I was like: Din! That's not responsible. How can you leave your son out in the inclement sun, alone! Then baby Yoda peeked in and I went: never mind. I take back what I said.

Oooh. Cobb Vanth! I love him! For a moment, I thought it could actually be Boba but it seemed illogical and that's what Mr. Feloni and Mr. Favreau wanted us to think. I was correct.

My gawd! Din's shock when Vanth took the helmet off. I just knew he would freak out the moment Cobb asked for drinks and I said to drink they need to remove their helmets and Mando is going to lose it when this guy does. And the standoff! Was so good! "Take it off or I will" is going to become a quite popular phrase in fics from now on, not in the same context, but yeah…

The krayt dragon… oh shit! Or rather Dank farrik! We can't see Mando's face or expression but I can imagine which one was when he saw the dragon eating the bantha the first time.

Oh my goodness. The baby hiding in the pot! Too adorable! 

I know every hardcore SW fan lost it watching Vanth modified speeder because is a callback to the Phantom Menace and Anakin but my first thought was: is he compensating for something? Sorry, I couldn't help it 

The dog-lizard creatures were kinda scary at first but then became adorable. Almost as much as baby Yoda getting out of hiding

Baby Yoda doesn't like dog-lizards things. He looked afraid to be eaten I think. Poor little guy.

And look at that! Din showing such growth! To think he was the one incensing others in negotiation 😆 this is a total callback to the jawas in Arvala-7. And I gotta tell you, Din freaking loves his flamethrower. He doesn't waste the opportunity to use it.

The krayt dragon eating the Tusken raider instead of the bantha was quite of a plot twist 😆

When they were planning the attack on the dragon, Cobb Vanth's face when Din told him that the bones and pebbles were to scale, and then when he had volunteered the villagers to help… priceless! 

I like the fact of banding together with others for a greater good, relying on others to accomplish something is going to continue being the theme of this season. It started last season but I think it's going to be stronger this time around along all of the episodes.

😳😲😳😲 this thing vomits acid?! What. The. FUCK?!!!

Cobb: I don't think it's dead

Mando: me neither

Me, at the same time as Din: yeah, nope it's not dead

Oh yeah! Teaming up with jetpacks!

When they showed the bantha with the remaining explosives my first thought was why didn't they use all those before?! That's why they didn't kill it!! Of course, it was just an excuse to grant Din a more grand win in the end, but you know, it's stupid not to use everything you have to kill the monster on the first try. Just saying

Wait, what? Din! What are you going to do? No! Taking care of the child is your responsibility, not Cobb Vanth's! I hate this plan of yours, Din Djarin!! Whichever it is!

Oh! Nice callback to the flaw on that jetpack. But makes me wonder, do all the rising Phoenixes have the same flaw? Cuz unless Din knows Boba in person and that it's his armor with that particular flaw, it means it's a common problem for all and I don't like it.

Get away, Din! Get away, Din!! FLY AWAY!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOOOOOO! 

There he is! Damn, Mando! Don't scare me like that! Altho, it was a nice move.

Okay, but now I want someone to explain something to me. If the dragon's acid melted people at contact before, how the hell is Din so whole? I mean, sure for argument' sake let's say his beskar armor provides some protection, but he's not entirely covered in it. His cape and undersuit seem just fine, albeit sticky. Where's the logic in that?

The tuskens getting the pearl reminded me of the jawas and the mudhorn's egg, chanting zukka, zukka (or however egg is spelled in Jawa).

That's quite a piece of meat. The baby is going to be happy eating off it for days🤣

😮😮😳😳 BOBA FETT!!!!! Yesssssss!!

Okay, I've seen other people's thoughts and some think that Boba was after Cobb Vanth because he had the armor, but I don't know. If that was true then why he hadn't gone to Mos Pelgo and got it? It seems to me that it's more likely that Boba is following Din somehow because it's the second time in as many Mando's visits to the planet that they sort of cross paths. Could they know each other? Have some score to settle? It's possible. Din has spent much time on Tatooine -his words, not mine- so it wouldn't be so out of consideration that they actually know each other. That if Mando knows Boba is (fake?) Mando, I don't know. Probably not, but who knows?

Extra thoughts

I gotta say that Ludwig Göransson is killing it with the score music! Oh. My. God! So so so so good! I could tell from the trailers that it was going to be awesome this season but it astounded me in chapter 9. Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous! My favorite piece is when they're going to the dragon's cave to kill it. The orchestral sound of the already familiar music blew my mind!

[space-kitten-606]

Sprayed

One normal mission. One. That was all the agent asked for these days. It seemed however, since the agency had assigned that gremlin as his partner, that simple wish was more out of reach than ever. 

Keeping his eyes fixed at the sky above him Vanderwood sent out a silent prayer. The day had been bad enough. Sure, they successfully terminated their target, but he could’ve easily done without their car breaking down and the agency prohibiting them from hijacking a car of the target’s security, leaving them to walk all the way back to civilisation. At least Luciel had run off minutes ago, which granted him a bit of peaceful silence. Or so he thought. 

A high pitched shriek somewhere behind him brought him back out of his mind into the real world. How gruesome. Vanderwood did not bother to turn around. It was most likely nothing and in any circumstance a waste of his energy. A set of steps approached him rapidly, followed by the heavy breathing of his partner, who had successfully caught up to him. Quiet noises of struggle from him made the agent perk up a bit. Not enough to make him feel like asking what happened, but enough to be prepared for sudden nonsense. What he wasn’t prepared for was the awful stench reaching his nose within a couple seconds. After being holed up in Seven’s bunker for several days, he thought he had lost all sense of smell, but now he actually wished he was blessed like that. 

They walked for a while, Vanderwood sternly attempting to ignore the odor. Every so often Luciel would mutter to himself, shuffling a bit as he followed. Until the older man’s curiosity got the best of him. He swung around mid step, almost making the ginger crash into him. 

“Is that a skunk?!” 

Luciel laughed at his disbelief, holding out the animal to him so he could see it better. 

"Yup! Isn't he adorable? ~" 

God. Why. He took an exasperated breath, regretting it immediately. 

"It sprayed you, didn't it."

"Oh, yeah.", looking down for a moment he sighed. "He's a bit shy, so he sprayed me when I tried to pick him up the first time." 

The first time?! Why in the world would he try to pick it up again after that?? This was ridiculous. What did he do to deserve this moron. 

"...where did you even find that thing." 

Seemingly delighted about his partner's question, Luciel smiled proudly. "I saw him walking about not too far from us! I always wanted to see a skunk up close. He was so fluffy, so I decided to keep him!" 

Very unimpressed by what he had just heard, Vanderwood watched the poor animal struggling in Luciel's hands. 

"It doesn't want this and neither do I. Leave it."

"He's just excited!!!"

If anyone would've told him a couple years ago that he would stand in the middle of nowhere, with his agencies' most prestigious hacker holding a skunk to his face, begging him to keep it, he would've told them they were bullshitting. And yet here he stood. Life was cruel. A phrase that was told to him over and over again. He never suspected that this was what it meant. 

"Seven." 

"Ya?"

"Stop acting like this. I know you're not this stupid and I don't have the nerves to deal with this right now. It's bad enough I have to….accept this horrendous smell for the rest of the way." 

Lowering his arms, he nodded, but didn't drop the animal yet. Instead, he grinned at Vanderwood.

"How do you know it won't spray you too if I put it down now?"

"How do you know I won't put a bullet in your head at any moment?"

Seven grinned even wider. "Cuz you like me."

Blinking a couple times, the agent could feel his face heat up. 

"Oohh someone's flustered ~" He swore the ginger's sing song voice would give him serious brain damage one day. 

"Shut up and put that skunk down right now."

Luciel looked a bit concerned at his demand, but followed anyway. The animal was put back onto the grass softly. It did not seem like it was going to run off though. 

"Good job, you traumatized it." Vanderwood spat, pointing at the animal with his hand. 

"He's probably just considering what to do with you, because you keep calling him 'it'." 

"It's an animal, how the fuck else am I supposed to call it?! Not to mention, how do you even know it's a 'he'?!"

Seven huffed. "I don't know, but at least I treated him like a person!" 

"I don't even know where to start telling you how wrong this is."

"Then don't."

Still sitting between the bickering men, the skunk looked around, smelling the air. It wouldn't move from it's spot yet, terrified of the two bipeds above it. 

Vanderwood looked around, not very keen of turning his back to the black and white fuzz at his feet. 

"Give me that stick over there.", he demanded. 

Luciel followed his gaze, and looked at the stick in question with a raised brow. Thinking he had already provoked his handler enough already, he did as he was told. 

"I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm pretty sure it's not a good idea."

"Don't tell me anything about good ideas. Seriously." As he was thinking through what he does want to do now, he glanced at his partner. His warning look spoke to him more clearly than any words could. "God, I'm not going to hurt it. It suffered enough already because of you. I was just gonna give it a push. Like this." 

Showcasing carefully what he was talking about, he pressed the stick against the animal's behind a bit, attempting to push it forward. Clearly not convinced by the idea, Luciel took a couple steps back, getting a questioning look from the other in return.

"By all means. Continue. I'm interested to see where this is going." He raised his hands up in defense, the slightest hint of a mischievous smile on his lips. 

It was not like there was anything else they could do, not to the agent anyway. So he kept up pushing the skunk, until it turned to him and let out a threatening hiss. Then it turned around, as if it was insulted in some way. 

"See? It will leave any moment now."

Unbeknownst to Vanderwood, the animal raised its' tail up in the air. Something Luciel has witnessed up close earlier. 

"Uhh…", he mumbled, pointing at the animal. 

"What now? Let's just leave.", the agent insisted. Still, he looked down to the animal once more. Just before tragedy struck again. 

"AH! GOD DAMMIT!!"

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Okay... going on a bit of a Schneider x Avery rant for a little bit. I've been reading some of your old posts about them and honestly I really do think they're endgame. If the show were to continue, I think season 3 would've been the closest we ever see Schneider to the family, but I think Avery (bc she doesn't have that much character development) would pull him back to the outer circle for season 4. I don't think they would've brought her back for the finale if they weren't endgame.

(cont) Schneider just barely makes the cut for family in this show. I mean I love him, but the show is about Penelope and her family. If they made too much noise between Penelope’s best friend’s love interest, who has no connection with the rest of the family, it would distract from the main characters too much. Nikki, Schneider’s only other “love” interest had a connection to both Penelope and Alex. But Avery’s there just for Schneider and I’m afraid it would stay that way.

hi anon!! i had to wait a while before answering this one because i knew i would need coherent thoughts and that hasn’t been working so well for me lately

you make two important points here, so i’ll start with the schneider side of it. i agree that s3 was the closest that we’ve ever seen schneider to the family, and that makes sense because honestly even as s3 progressed the storylines for everyone in the family, schneider kind of had the biggest, most consistent arc. (i think alex’s was the next biggest/most consistent. elena and pen and lydia’s stories were more episodic in s3 and sometimes connected more to previous season events than the preceding episodes.)

the showrunners/writers had been planning to address schneider’s sobriety for a while and talked a lot with the actor while they worked on it, and i think they handled it really well. but in my opinion, that all builds up to cementing schneider’s place in the family. not just pulling him into the circle, but making it clear that he belongs there–in a way they aren’t likely to go back on. 

we went from penelope shutting the door in his face in 1.13 when he’s telling her they’re like family, to elena joking about him NOT being family in s2 and him telling a comatose lydia that they’re his family while punctuating his grief with jokes…to the entire family rallying around him in 3.12 after they were all a bit more distant earlier in the season.

elena is the first member of the family to actually direct the word ‘love’ his way! penelope tries to make it clear that he’s important to her just as he is and that he needs to fight his addictions not just for his sake but because of her family, especially the kids! schneider interrupts his big romantic reunion with avery to focus on lydia officially claiming him as an alvarez!

this snippet of an interview todd grinnell gave after s3 mentions the tension between any future schneider would have with avery, and his ties to the family. i don’t know how much the plans for a potential s4 might have changed over time, but since we know the writers do discuss plot arcs with the actors in advance (or at least they have done so with todd before) i believe that when he said this, it was based off his awareness of what the writers were thinking. 

which means that avery could have been brought back to be a source of future conflict–and after schneider’s s3 declaration that ‘family is everything’ it’s not guaranteed that he would choose avery in that scenario. i could see him learning to balance and compromise, maybe, but schneider drifting out of the picture because of his love interest wouldn’t make sense for who he is–unless the actor was leaving the show maybe? i still wouldn’t find it very believable though.

i do agree that avery’s only connected to the show through schneider. that actually bugged me in s3, because they gave her so many little great moments in the beginning to establish who she was, and then she really never interacted with the family even when she was in scenes with them!! they either need to fully include her in s4 or keep her more separate; now that we’re more familiar with her, it won’t make sense at all for her to be in the apartment or at events and ignoring the rest of them most of the time. (unless that’s part of the plot, of course.) i think that avery won’t be likely to get much actual plot unless it starts to be about non-schneider things, like how she affects family members.

i honestly have no idea if schneider and avery are endgame or not. india is too adorable for me to be against it, despite my many objections to how avery was handled in s3 (so much potential after that meet-cute! i ranted in multiple essays about about it!). because the actors are married it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s what the show does, letting schneider’s storylines going forward be more about him maturing and dealing with his first serious lasting relationship. 

i think that how long the show gets to continue existing will also have a lot to do with what turns out to be endgame–if it ends on its own terms in a few years, then we’ll know what their intended endgame was. but if it gets cancelled then i’ll always wonder what they might have been really aiming for.

the biggest thing that you and i seem to disagree about, though, anon, that probably affects how we see the avery stuff playing out, is schneider’s role on the show. you say that he just barely makes the cut for family, and i would argue (as i sort of started to, messily, above) that in fact it’s season 3 that doesn’t just confirm but yells that he’s completely family. 

in the first scene of the season, he comes in and tells the rest of them who their own dead relative is, and in his last scene, avery passes along the news of lydia’s official adoption of him. between all of that, the family sees him turn into someone else while he’s trying to please his father–and they see the relapsed alcoholic he’s never been in their presence before–and they commit even harder to making him feel loved and like he’s a part of them. 

along those same lines, i’d also argue that schneider is a ‘main character.’ not only just technically (because he’s been included in things like promo images for the show since s1, where leslie wasn’t) but in terms of the story. if he wasn’t a main character in seasons 1 and 2, he definitely became one in season 3, when two whole episodes were formed around his arc in addition to his usual mini stories alongside the family.

tl;dr i have no idea if avery is schneider’s endgame but he is an alvarez now and i’ll believe him choosing her over his family when i see it 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Caleb

Ali: Do we know when Carly's funeral is going to be yet? Ali: I need to come back but I don't want to pester her parents...I sent a message but no response Caleb: I did too and got nothing either Caleb: I'm feeling they dont want us to be knowing Ali: Think so too Ali: Which is rich considering Ali: Trying to be understanding but where have they been Ali: I know I was away too but Caleb: you kept in touch Caleb: they haven't met their grandchild yet, have they? That's their vibe Caleb: imma leave them in peace but its not cool Ali: everything is so fucked Ali: how did this happen Caleb: never seen my mum madder Caleb: she's not praying for them saving 'em up for indie & drew Caleb: you gotta make sure you handle your own goodbye Ali: Can't blame her Ali: thank God she and Meena were there or they could both be gone Ali: What the hell is going to happen now Ali: Yeah, I'll have to, I don't think we're getting in to the real funeral but, it won't be her anyway Ali: they don't know her Caleb: I wish I had been, caught my mum crying hard later & that was before all this Caleb: she's down to take her in but I dunno if he'll allow it Caleb: Carly's parents could take her still its mad here rn Ali: I owe her big time, I didn't know what else to do, she wouldn't go to Hospital so I can't be sorry I did it but I am sorry for the fucking trauma of it all Ali: In a way, that might be better for her, but then...they've not done a good job with Carly, have they? Would they let history repeat itself Ali: but Drew, fuck Caleb: it's all good, like nah, but as far as my mum goes Caleb: you did the right thing Caleb: I dunno man they might be feeling like they're getting a second chance with her but will it be? Caleb: you heard from him? Caleb: im blocked Ali: Thanks, I'm doubting everything I did and said now Ali: but I really tried Ali: I truly don't know what's for the best but it will have to be worked out Ali: Poor baby Ali: No, not since this whole...mess Ali: I think he genuinely feels guilt for this one Caleb: You handled shit better than I could. Better than most I think Caleb: Estou orgulhoso de ti, querida. Caleb: yeah my heart's breaking to look at her Caleb: He won't let me help him & truth be that I don't even know where to start Caleb: No idea what he wants, you know Caleb: could be what the kid needs but as easy could not be Ali: You're too nice for your own good Ali: He probably feels like he doesn't deserve it, and rightly so frankly but not going to spite Indie just to prove a point Ali: She's so innocent Ali: Oh God Ali: I'd do it myself but the social would never sign off on that Ali: who am I, like Ali: She's got family Caleb: I ain't feeling it. I'm raging Caleb: I get that I don't get to speak on it, and he's hurting so I'm not going there but I dunno how he could let her go like that Caleb: With the bab there Caleb: Shit's beyond fucked Caleb: We could try. You were Carly's family Caleb: She'd want you looking out for indie Ali: I don't know Ali: It was hard to know how to help her Ali: but he didn't even try Ali: well, from what we can see from our outside perspective Ali: she seemed to think he did but Ali: I don't fucking know Ali: It really is, thank God Indie won't remember any of this Ali: Drew will have to, and that's his punishment Ali: I asked Mum, its pretty much a no go, if she got put in the system, if none of them claimed her, then maybe, but not whilst I'm at Uni and away and I already have too many kids to deal with by standards Ali: especially for a single parent, they wouldn't favour me over a nice, older well-off couple with everything to give Caleb: She wanted to bounce so says my mum, he shoulda let her do what she needed to do, she had to be in shock having her way it went Caleb: gotta keep your babies safe they're defenseless Caleb: anything could've happened them playing at family how they did Caleb: Filho da mãe! Caleb: Okay but hear me out...what if we went at this together? Caleb: You still got your ring, you're still my missus, legal or nah Caleb: se você me tiver eu estou disposto Ali: She did, she had, she told me where she was Ali: I just think its too easy to think over all this now Ali: its plausible he was trying to keep her safe by bringing her back, its not out there Ali: arguably was safer who knows where she would've ended up Ali: its happened regardless of all the what-ifs and woulda coulda shoulda Ali: better focusing on what we can all do now, Drew included Ali: See, too nice Ali: Of course I do Ali: I still don't think it'll happen but of course we can try Ali: if it comes to that Caleb: True Caleb: He was outta his depth, feeling like he could get Carly to turn it all around, let his kid have the ma he never Caleb: It's sad man Caleb: Good Caleb: We can't worry on that yet but I've been stressing over you out there on your own Caleb: Can I hit you with another idea? Ali: Yeah, exactly Ali: Very fucking sad Ali: Oh, I'm fine, like, not right now but, you know Ali: Go for it Caleb: Try not to get vexed at me for sneaking but it's been a while Caleb: I've been hitting up job offers round you and they've said yeah to some part time things Caleb: I wanna come out, help with the kids more than ever now Caleb: What you think? Ali: You're serious? Ali: I think its the best news I've had in a long while Ali: Well done you! Caleb: what happened got me thinking Caleb: and its the only thing that makes sense Caleb: us all together, you feel me? Caleb: It won't be easy but neither is this rn Ali: I've been feeling the same Ali: but I was too scared to put it out there Ali: Family should be all that matters Ali: the rest is just bullshit to deal with Ali: the kids are going to be so excited when are you coming Caleb: my bad for leaving you hanging this long but I didn't wanna mess you around, not only with the job, you know Caleb: but my heart's sure Caleb: I dunno what I'd do if shit happened to you, cos you're my baby mama yeah, but cos you're you too Caleb: I still feel the same, not trying to change it these days Caleb: Gotta help Gus get my cuz ready to do my thing but won't take no time Ali: Not at all, it had to be right Ali: It would be all the more painful and wrong if you came and we couldn't make it work Ali: I love you Caleb: I love you too Caleb: You've been all on my mind since I last saw you and thats how I want it Ali: Wait Ali: before you commit fully I have something to tell you Ali: might change your mind, I don't know so you need to know now before Caleb: You can tell me Caleb: I'm listening Ali: [Sends bump pic] Ali: About 5/6 months Ali: Your Bday, Christmas, remember? Ali: I didn't say because Ali: Last time Ali: I've not told anyone else though, no one Caleb: Shit man! You been dealing on your own Caleb: That's so rough, Ali Caleb: You should've said, hit up your fam if not me Caleb: I get not wanting to say it but I gotta ask, was there anyone else on the scene? Caleb: I know what I think but I need to hear it Ali: It was worst for you but Ali: it wasn't exactly easy to tell them Ali: I know they were all disappointed or disgusted or whatever else valid feelings but it wasn't fun Ali: No, no one else Caleb: We gotta tell them Caleb: Mine too Caleb: What's the story? What's the doctor said? Are you both good? Ali: Yeah, my blood pressure's a bit high but to be expected, I told him I ain't got no time to chill Ali: are you happy? Ali: do you think anyone will be? or have i had one too many to soon to get the congrats now Caleb: I'm gonna make time for you to chill Caleb: Swear down Caleb: Eu nunca estive mais feliz Caleb: And they'll be happy for us too. Trust Ali: That would be nice Ali: don't think I've stopped since I came here Ali: If they aren't, they aren't Ali: Its coming, like Caleb: I'll rush through what I gotta do here, be with you sooner Caleb: More I can do to take care of the bubs the more you can have that you time Caleb: I'm not slipping on you or this baby, you're gonna be all good Caleb: Gus'll throw us a party, he misses you like I do Ali: You don't need to do that, tho no shade to your cuz but some talent you just can't teach Ali: #natural Ali: I miss him too, I miss everyone Ali: Oh shit Ali: Has anyone told Ro? Did she even know Carly was pregnant Ali: We've not spoken much, I've tried to give her space, let her live her Uni dreams Ali: Fuck Caleb: You don't need to hype me but I'll allow it Caleb: yeah no lie I'm a bit scared about heading over gotta be done for my culinary arts tho like, keep the restaurant game fresh for my fam Caleb: Oh damn! Meena maybe? I dunno Caleb: She swerves me & everything happened fast Ali: You're gonna love it Ali: I've found so many amazing places already, I can't wait to show you Ali: Even Junie's trying new things Ali: I'll have to ask her, God I hope so Ali: If not, oddly maybe it'll be best coming from me? Seems wrong but Ali: she knows I was friends with Carly Caleb: That's my boy 💪💚 Caleb: I'm excited too, trust Caleb: yeah we all felt the love Caleb: Hope she didn't hear it from the wrong peeps but it'll be what it is Ali: I dread to think how fast the rumour mill be spinning Ali: Wankers Caleb: Least she got that distance Caleb: You're the furthest and closest Caleb: I hate that it's gotta be this way for you Ali: I'm just glad I got to know her Ali: I was lucky enough, none of them were so Ali: say what they like, they did when she was alive, like Caleb: I should've known her better Caleb: I knew what Drew was doing Ali: We all did Ali: what could we have done? stop him? stop her? Ali: they both made choices, even if they were poor ones, or made not in their best state and mind Caleb: True Caleb: I let him make a lot of bad choices, shit went on too long Caleb: It's not on me to pull him back anymore I got focus elsewhere Ali: You can't blame yourself for him Ali: its his to shoulder Ali: yeah, a lot of bad shit happened to him but, he's made a lot of it happen since Ali: not his excuse of a Ma Ali: she's not been around for a long time Ali: Meena still manages to be good and do the right thing, y'know? Caleb: Exactly Caleb: He's grown now and he needs to act it more than he's been Caleb: There are two kids in this Caleb: Behaving like her isn't what he wants but we can't do the changing for him Caleb: It wasn't on Carly to help me out with that either Ali: Right, though, clearly he won't acknowledge Edie unless I'm dead Ali: Fucked up thing to say but more fucked up that its real Ali: I know Ali: but she loved him, she wanted to Ali: he shoulda treated her so much better, she gave him everything she had and for what? Caleb: over my dead body would he mess that kids head and life up if you weren't here Caleb: it's not right Caleb: I don't feel I know him nowadays Ali: I know Ali: you're a better Dad to her than he could ever be Ali: just the truth Ali: I know Ali: its a shame but you and your fam have done all you can for him Ali: can only wait and see what he does now Caleb: I'd adopt her but I'm hoping against hope he'll wanna be her dad Caleb: But if not now when like? Caleb: Now he's got to take care of Indie alone that's the excuse he needs Caleb: shit man Caleb: he doesn't deserve either of those girls Ali: She'll know Ali: we don't need a piece of paper to make it official Ali: she feels the 💚 Ali: No matter what happens, we have to look after Indie too, okay? Ali: Make sure she's good Ali: Promise Caleb: I promise you Caleb: nothing's gonna happen to any of these kids on my watch Caleb: she'll feel the love too, all we've got Caleb: 5 babies or 15, gonna keep my word Ali: Same Ali: we're not doing a bad job, are we? Ali: I don't want to prove everyone right Caleb: We've been slipping but it'll be all good when we're together again Caleb: Better with you than without Caleb: And we've always done the bubs right no matter what Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: haters got me trippin' Ali: don't tell Caleb: I'll pick you up on the quiet Caleb: when you going to the doctors again? I'll time my trip so I can be with Ali: its not 'til next month Ali: so that should actually work out reasonably well? Caleb: Fated Ali: if not its only a checkup so its chill Ali: but we can aim for it Caleb: Sooner the better for me Caleb: Don't tell the kids I wanna show up and see them lose their shit like on the vids Ali: That will be too cute for words Caleb: forreal Caleb: Imma try and get Junie on the songs cos I got my girls to help me Caleb: he's already a chatterbox we halfway to it Ali: they've learnt this Malay nursery rhyme Ali: its sick, they're so good at it Ali: I'll let them show you when you come Caleb: they can teach me Caleb: gimme a leg up Ali: Yeah, and Mandarin Ali: like, you'd get along fine with English but its so much more fun and just respectful to try Ali: I want them to learn as much as they can whilst we're here Ali: and wherever else we end up Caleb: I feel that Caleb: I got an app on my phone but with everything that's been going down I haven't tried Caleb: Sampled some fusion cooking tho which'll be sick now I've got more peeps to get stuck into eating it Caleb: Getting a belly here Ali: 😍 Ali: oh I've missed you Caleb: won't have to for much longer 💚 Caleb: i'll be counting down them training days honest Ali: speaking of Ali: gotta run Ali: got class in an hour and best believe i need all this time to get those kids out the door Caleb: oh I be knowing Caleb: go get your genius on Ali: talk soon ✌ Ali: love you Caleb: te amo 💚💙💜