#( this has been a problem for awhile with me and my blogs

[queermania]

I don't want to start drama and I don't expect you to respond to this but I think you deserve to know what's being said about you. tumblr. com/transfagbenny/738678589192552448/and-id-appreciate-if-we-stopped-using-the-terms

i actually am going to address this because this person has been lying about what's been going on for months and they've apparently been harassing other people for months if not years, so. it's time to put an end to this.

before i start though i want to make it abundantly clear that if you take this as an opportunity to do anything other than block this person, then you are trash. do not send him messages. do not tag him in things. do not harass him in any way. leave him alone. if you need to block, do so and then move on. hate mail and harassment is disgusting behavior and i don't want to be surrounded by anybody who engages in it. and if you do it on my behalf, i think you are worthless and i want nothing to do with you.

so, this is what happened: back in february of 2023, an anon asked me if i had any opinions that would get me canceled with the dean girlies. i replied, "oh now we’re talking!! hmmmm let’s see. i don’t care about benny at all. deanbenny does nothing for me. deanbenny is dust. it is dust. drowley rights forever" and i did not tag it because i'm not an asshole. bear then sent me a message that at the time i thought was funny/cute because his url reflected that he was obviously a huge benny fan. we had a very cordial exchange. everything was good. we chatted a little bit about how neat it would've been if benny had been played by a black actor and how the racism problem with gordon would've been fixed if gordon had been played by a white actor. not all of our conversation is visible anymore (and i also don't think all of it was on this post anyway) because i've since blocked him so his replies no longer show up on my posts. the point is: everything was fine. it was a good tumblr exchange. he continued to follow me. i did not follow him then or at any point.

the problem is that he kept coming onto my posts and into my inbox to try to make things about benny. that is not okay. i had already said that benny was a character (and deanbenny a ship) that i was not interested in. to me, this is an obvious boundary i've established that he repeatedly crossed. it's not an egregious violation, obviously. more than anything it's annoying. what he should've done, if benny was that important to him, was unfollow me and move on. but he didn't and i indulged him for awhile but at a certain point i thought, "okay maybe if i stop indulging him, he'll take the hint." so i stopped responding. he did not take the hint. he got worse and he even started commenting on things that he couldn't make about benny, just to willfully misinterpret things i said and taking them completely out of context. unfortunately, i don't have receipts for any of this because at the time i didn't know it was going to become an actual problem (however I have since learned that this is an established pattern of behavior he engages in, so you can probably find examples on other people's blogs).

it got so annoying, though, that i very carefully broached the subject in a private server with people i trusted. without naming any names or using any incriminating language (i.e. not specifically referencing benny), i basically said that there was someone being annoying about a specific character on my posts and i wasn't sure what to do about it. immediately, a handful of people replied with some variation of "the benny stan? he's been doing that to me too." i do have receipts of this (and an entire server to back me up) but i hope you can all understand why i'm not going to provide those or name names (or ask anyone to get involved publicly). the point is, it became apparent that i wasn't the only one and this was a pattern of behavior. i also learned during that conversation that bear has a history of harassing people and calling someone racist or a transphobe if they block him.

at that point, i decided not to rock the boat. i would just continue to ignore him and maybe he would get bored and move on. well that obviously didn't happen. he kept doing it and as a fun added bonus, he started to make vague posts about me. the thing is i don't actually care if he vagueblogs about me. it's his blog. he can do whatever he wants. it's none of my business. i mean i personally think he should've just unfollowed but, again, his blog, his choice. it is annoying that every single time he would do it, someone would send me a link or a screenshot of him doing it, but that's not really his fault. so, again, i just ignored it.

this is where we get to the incident in question. after a private discussion among a small group of friends, i posted this obviously joke poll at the insistence of @letterstothedevil, a tumblr user who has given me permission to include her in this.

the original message about the poll:

the permission:

now EYE think it's abundantly clear that the poll was a joke amongst friends, but maybe it wasn't, and i'm not going to fault anyone for not magically knowing that. i am, however, totally willing to fault someone for being a gigantic asshole. bear commented on the post and i, admittedly, gave a somewhat dismissive response because at that point i was so tired of him being willfully obtuse and twisting every little thing i said that i just didn't want to bother. he then went and made a series of not-at-all-vague posts calling me racist and claiming that i simply do not care about the racism in the show and it's obvious because i've never ever discussed it on my blog (which is a hilarious lie given that i'd specifically discussed it on my blog with him). at that point, there was no reason not to block him. he was already doing the thing that i didn't want to deal with. so i did. and i thought that would be the end of it.

again, i was wrong.

i then started to get anon messages daily about benny and deanbenny and how i'm racist for not liking benny, etc. this was harassment that EYE was on the receiving end of. nobody else was a victim of the messages i was being sent. they were sent to me and it is not my job to make sure other people are protected from the harassment that i am experiencing. i'm pointing this out for two reasons: 1. because i did try to protect bear from it for awhile anyway. i knew that people would assume it was him and at the time i was still giving him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than the fact that i didn't think he could send me messages since i blocked him. and 2. because when i did finally start to respond to some of the messages, bear acted like he was somehow the victim in all of this (and continues to act that way to this day).

i don't know if bear had (or currently has) anything to do with any of the messages i get (which, thankfully, have slowed considerably). what i do know is that at no point during any of this happening did he stop looking at my blog and vagueblogging about me.

when i finally did answer a few of the messages, bear had a bit of a meltdown about it. i know this because he used a separate account that i hadn't know existed to message me and because he talked to one of my friends about it. (i'm not going to name that person but if they want to get involved publicly of their own accord, that's up to them lol). i'm also not going to share screenshots of what bear said to me because he explicitly asked me not to (it's also the reason i'm not sharing screenshots of the numerous receipts i have of the things he's said and lied about on his blog but, unless he's deleted any of them, you can go and find the posts yourselves.) what i am going to share is that in the message he sent to me, he flat out lied about his behavior. he told me he hadn't been vague-blogging about me, that he would never ever do that about anyone, and that he would certainly never harass someone (all things that i have receipts of him doing).

it took me awhile to respond to this message because i was still trying to be gracious about the whole situation. i recognize that he is much younger than i am and i think it's important for me, as a full blown adult, to take that into account. i had a private discussion with a few trusted friends about how to handle this because it was important to me to not let him off the hook for his behavior and for lying just because he's young. this is what i ended up saying:

his response was to double-down on his lies (while, hilariously, vague-blogging about me and the whole thing) and then go into victim mode about something so completely unrelated and far-fetched that i decided i simply wanted nothing to do with him ever. (this is when he asked me not to share screenshots, so i won't, but this is me saying that i have ALL of the receipts, bear, so if you continue to lie, you will not like what happens.) i blocked his alternate account and tried to ignore him.

the harassment continued. again, i have no idea if he was actually part of it. the vagueblogging continued. he started to do it to other people he associated with me. many of them blocked him because of his behavior. i continued to answer some of the hate i received, continued to ignore and/or block most of it. it got so bad that i was sent seizure bait on more than one occasion, one time bad enough that i actually ended up going to the ER. there are receipts of all of this, too. you can see on my blog the messages i've been sent. i think at one point i even shared a snapshot of what my inbox looked like. i've shared privately with friends (who can confirm if they want to, but no pressure) screenshots of the kinds of messages i get that i don't respond to. the point is, that for a period of months, i was relentlessly harassed. and at no point during this time did i say anything to or about bear (or anyone else). the most i've done is respond to messages that have been sent to me. i've largely sat quietly while this thing happened to me and bear continued to make posts about me and act like he is somehow a victim in this. he's assumed things about me and my identity. he's violated boundaries i've set. he will not let this go. and i'm not the only one he's doing it to.

i'm so fucking tired of it. leave me alone. leave my blog alone. leave my friends alone. leave any and all of the people who have blocked you for your own inappropriate and obnoxious behavior alone. that's it. that's the end. none of this would be happening if you would just respect other people's boundaries. i don't want you on my blog. i do not want to interact with you. i don't want anything to do with you. that's it. the end.

[hrdenha]

— office hours | p.js

synopsis: you're stressed, still a virgin, and wanted to get laid. you wanted it to be a complete stranger. luckily, for you, there's one who's been watching you from the vip rooms.

pairings: stranger!park jongseong x office worker/virgin!reader

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. drunk reader, still with consent of course, basically asking some stranger to get her virginity, jay's big 👀, fingering, penetration, breeding kink, c*ck warming, oral s*x (f receiving)

AUTHOR'S NOTE — !

and i am backkk! it's been awhile since i posted here but tbh, i still have so many drafts in this blog. i dont know when i can finish it and post it but I'm hoping for the absolute best. please, turn a blind eye whenever you see errors and misspelled words. this is not yet edited and i just finished writing this a few minutes ago.

oh! and don't forget to check out some of my works and enjoy! also, let me know what u think in the comments or reblogs 🫶

"So, let me sum this up..." Ryujin held up her right hand for a 'pause' before drinking her Starbucks cup as if she needed the strong savor of coffee to stay sane on something that was about to go on.

"So you wanted to get laid but you're still a virgin and you don't know someone who can do you?"

Is it just you, or did ryujin just emphasize the words 'you', 'get laid', and 'virgin'? Is it that hard to believe? Is the idea THAT crazy?

"Yes, and please lower your voice" You hissed at her which Karina chuckled, all while trying to cover your face with your right hand; as you turned your head back when a group of employees walked past the three of you.

"How about, chan?" Karina suggested. "From the I.T. unit? He looks so good and IS good"

Both you and ryujin make a revolted face, "Ew. How do you know?" The woman beside you asked that karina just responded with a simple shrug before looking away to sip on her coffee.

You shook your head, "I don't want the person to know me and vice versa. I think I need a complete stranger to help me... with this" The word 'stranger' dragged in between your teeth when you groaned at your so-called 'problem'.

"Is that your new fetish?" Ryujin teasingly smiled at you, jutting her eyebrows up and down, making you roll your eyes.

"but seriously what? we can't just throw you to some man on the street, y/n. what if he's a good-for-nothing asshole?" ryujin replied with karina agreeing on her side. "But seriously, y/n what's the rush? I mean, I'm not the sentimental type of a person obviously..." The blue-haired woman rolled her eyes, "but would it even hurt if you wait a little bit more? for a person you know and are comfortable with?"

You exhaled, karina has a point though "I know but it's been bugging me. I don't like rushing things like this but it keeps me from experiencing 'that' level of fun. It feels like I'm missing something. I want to live my life a little, not that I'll sleep with everyone I laid my eyes but you know? Having fun without thinking of some limitation is such a temptation."

Both of your girls nodded, telling you that they understand. "Okay, let's go with plan B. After work this thursday, let's go to this bar I knew" This time, it's your turn to nod silently thanking your friends that they're supportive.

Your mind flies elsewhere as you try to convince yourself that your choice is fair, something that was not bad but also not good.

You're not lying when you told your friends that you don't like rushing things like this. Originally, you just wanted to go with the flow. If you'll get into a serious relationship, which is far away to happen because you're a career-oriented woman— then you'll give it to someone who deserves it. Of course, you had a fair share of relationships; a tough one on top of that.

Maybe it was the trauma. Having a relationship running for almost 2 years and then suddenly opening your eyes to see your boyfriend, heads up manipulating you was exhausting. That's why you didn't hesitate to break up with your boyfriend who tried to manipulate you into having sex with him while having a sexual relationship with his branch manager in a strictly no-office romance setting.

Of course, it didn't end with just the breakup. Of course, you wouldn't let him prey against other women again. No, it's not your type at all. You wanted to cripple him... big time. And so, you print all his soliciting of nudes amongst the women in their branch and the sexual conversation with his manager he's been having an affair with; even manage to ladle some CCTV footage where the two of them had sex in one of the office room then sent it anonymously to the head office of the company which resulted in his and the woman's contract to be terminated.

After that chaotic incident, you never opened up your heart to everyone. You just basically drowned yourself in work that resulted in you becoming the head manager of your own team.

At first, you're contented, happy even. You stepped up your game at work with nothing but your schedule as the first source of conflict in your life. The fact of you, being not in a relationship and a virgin on top of that, didn't really matter to you except last month when things started to happen.

The corporation you've been working at got a huge project that resulted in all the manpower to work causing you to be a little irritated. It's not the first time you handled such a huge project but if incompetent people will continuously be incompetent, then someone will definitely be on edge for days. You're convinced it was just the fatigue and stress. Of course, what else could it be? but then your cousin, Jake, told you otherwise.

"You're a little bit snappy these days, y/n" you smelled the oddly familiar aroma of Macchiato behind that even you can't help but to taste it on the tip of your tongue.

Jake emerges from behind you, mumbling a soft 'here' as he gently puts down the glass of the drink he personally made that he knew your favorite.

Your hands immediately glued to the cup taking a delicious sip before looking up to him, humming as the familiar taste of sweetness and vanilla hit your tongue, "It's nothing, just got a big project so we've been working nonstop"

"You need to relax"

"Believe me, I will..." You nodded your head, not looking at your cousin while your point finger keeps scrolling through the documents. "Just not now, maybe after this because work is currently kicking my ass off"

"Nah, bro. You don't need to wait for your work to finish in order to relax. You just need to get laid and then it will all go"

After Jake told you that, how can he walk out of your room as if nothing happened? Now, how can you function properly when you are mostly convinced that you really need to get laid in order to remove all the stress?

At first, you become in denial. You tried doing it the traditional way. Got yourself your favorite scented candle, play your favorite movie, a nice warm bath, and your friend, the pink vibrator after you bridged the project into a success that made the company give your whole team a two weeks vacation and an added bonus.

You become contented again. Turns out you don't need a man and sex just to relax, right? Wrong. Not until another project came up and you were on edge again, that's when you accepted your pain and resorted to your friends that put you in this situation.

Why can't God or someone high above drop a respectable, career-oriented man like you with a big dick and high stamina to fuck the stress out of you, straight on your lap? But no, that would be too good to be true.

Days easily passed by and here you are now, at Karina's house while she attempts to doll you up. You're used to wearing make-up, also because of your job where it is needed to look presentable at all times. What you're not accustomed to is wearing makeup with the purpose of getting laid.

"Drink this" Karina hand you a glass of water? Your hands took it unconsciously but give her a confused look where she just mouthed 'vodka'. That's when you realize all three of you have your own 'vodka' in your hands.

"... for what?" you ask carefully still confused as to why they drink vodka when there's a lot or you mean a LOT of alcoholic drinks at the bar later. You saw the two women behind you look at each other in the mirror before laughing. "Aww, this poor thing" Karina coos, "Luckily, she have us" Ryujin pouted before walking on your supposed-to-be outfit that was still in the box that she had delivered this morning.

"You need that so you'll be tipsy even before we get to the club" Karina replied when she saw your still confused face. She holds a makeup brush in front of you before whispering, "Don't worry, little tiger. We'll sharpen your claw and make you run free" You close your eyes tightly at the thought while feeling the brush on your lips. Dang, are you really that old potato?

"Try to be bold, y/n... remember that" Karina whispered as she brush another dab of the 'boldest' color of eyeshadow on your lids just like she said. "You're confident and bold, and we love that but it's not for the right thing as of now. This is not the job, not for hunting clients or something. Your purpose is to get laid, to have some dick in your mouth, okay?" ryujin added that made you playfully hit her.

"And... done!" Karina squealed, softly tucking an unwanted hair off your forehead. "Damn, you're so hot!" The girl made a 'cat claw' with her hands teasing as you stand in front of the full-body mirror across her room.

You were wearing a red mini dress that has a perfect cut-out on your solar plexus, partnered with a stylish necklace and simple earrings. The color made your hair and sultry makeup stand out.

Yes, you look good and you'll give karina and ryujin a thumbs up for helping you with the right make-up and dress but also, you can't help but cry inside when the skirt would slide up when you walk making your hands automatically pull it down again.

Ryujin slaps your hands, "No! No touching the dress, I'm not gonna let you slouch all day just because you wanted it to be below the knee length"

"It keeps riding up!" You pouted, "It's helping you get a dick tonight by practically displaying your ass" Ryujin replied before clicking her tongue, "Just let it slide the hell it wants, you look fine. Dang, you look so good, girl!" She added before pulling the three of you outside with the taxi waiting.

The bar was loud and dark. It has a bright light flashing in every direction and was packed with people. As the three of you walk towards the tunnel, the loud music slowly become prominent, the same with people greeting the girl you're with. "Karina!" Some guy called that she just responded with a kiss, "Who's this?" He asks looking at your figure up and down. "I didn't know we have a new meat coming up"

"You'll taste it if it wants to be eaten later so watch out but for now, we're here for a girl's night out and no boys are allowed" Karina responded for you, slightly pushing the guy out of the way and pulling both you and ryujin inside. Karina's action made you sigh in relief, you were getting uncomfortable at the guy's stare. It felt like he was stripping you naked. Will you be able to pull this off?

"How are we supposed to talk?" You talk loudly at ryujin's ears which made her laugh. "Just relax and have fun, y/n. Let it all out, just relax" She said patting your back before giving you a drink that karina ordered before.

"Have this... hope this helps you calm down" And she's right, you indeed got calm as the sweet taste of the cocktail hit your tongue. A little while and you were downing drinks after drinks. You even pulled your friends into the dance floor yourself, you were indeed having fun. In fact, too much fun.

It was just a cocktail, but you down a sweet cocktail into a shot of tequila real quick. And no, you're not drunk and you know it. You still know what you're doing, still, know what you're saying, and can still process what is happening around you. It's just that you were far more relaxed than the first time you walked through the entrance of this bar.

As you dance with your friends on the dancefloor, your eyes thoughtlessly linger on the second floor where the VIP rooms are located. And there you saw a man in a full expensive suit that perfectly fit and hug his body— standing on the veranda just in front of the stage where the dancefloor was located. He has a drink in his left hand while the other was tucked away in his pocket. You don't know if you're seeing this clearly but you swore, you saw him looking down directly at you. The man was sipping on his cup, hooded eyes still looking at you, watching you like a hawk observing its prey.

You want to blame it on alcohol, you were getting brazen and you like it. If it's true that the mysterious man WAS really looking at you then you have to give him a show, right?

And so you started to dance more sensually, feeling yourself like there's no tomorrow, even biting your lips. It was a bonus that an equally sexy song played at the right time. That made your hips unconsciously grind, making your friends hype you up even more. The time you look up again, the man was gone. Not a single person was standing on the second floor. The man suddenly vanishing in your eyes made you feel disappointed but didn't let it ruin your fun. Now, that's your main agenda, aside from hunting for a dick, of course.

When the song finished, you excused yourself from the dance floor to fetch yourself a drink. Well, that goes your social battery. It finally hit zero and right now, you need ice-cold water to help with your burning body. You walked towards the counter and requested your drink. Enough with the dance, now, all you want to do is drink in peace.

Which men never really understand. The whole time you were there, a handful of guys try giving you their company but you politely turn them down, not giving them a chance to see through you even though you can feel the liquor slowly hitting your senses. Your eyes unconsciously traveled towards the second floor where the reticent man was standing before. The rooms look expensive plus there are bouncers standing at the entrance of the stairwell.

If that man was real, then he was surely loaded. Lucky.

Your mind woke up when there was a shout coming from the other side of the bar. A fight just broke out and they were causing a scene. You don't know why but your head turns again towards the stairs going upstairs to the VIP rooms. The bouncers who were standing there before were now gone, maybe to assist with the fight.

Your lips slowly curved upward, feet straightly walking towards the stair and onto the second floor. There's a series of rooms and you took your time looking inside each of them. Finally, you reached the room at the far corner of the hallway. You were about to pull the lever handle when you noticed it was not closed, the door was just slightly agape and music was coming inside.

You slowly push it open and see a man in a suit sitting on the couch with papers on his hands. There are a few bottles of liquor on the table. Wine, Champagne, beer; you name it and it'll be there.

The man quietly looks at you, still waiting for your next move. You didn't know if this is the same man you saw earlier. But one thing is for sure, he is handsome: aura never failed to make your skin shiver.

As a career woman, him sitting expensively on the couch with a folder in his hands, while wearing black specs and a watch was so hot to see. It made your mouth water. It was as if the man was a blessing from the heavens and you really like him.

Your mouth can't help but release a giggle at the thought before finally letting yourself in and closing the door with your weight, your fingers turning their locks.

Maybe it was the alcohol, the liquor in your system was making you bold... making you brave as if you were in an illusion. You were in a perception that you mostly can do anything at this point.

You started walking in his direction, the man raise his brow, throwing the paper at the table not really caring if it got wet before shifting his position. His arms were now resting at the top of the couch as he manspread. Damn, he's so sexy.

His exorbitant suit really matched this place. The warm light that elucidates some parts of the room made his skin glow. He was so perfect, his eyes are soft but his thick eyebrows make them narrow and his hair... his perfect black hair slicked back completed his look.

He's a 10, a heaven on the place called Earth. You wanted him that's why you finally did the sole purpose of why you're here.

You approach his face and the manly fragrance immediately hit your senses, he smells good almost like a sophisticated noble. "You... I really like you" Your fingers seductively played with his tie before tugging it harshly closer to you, "Can you take my virginity... please?" Your voice drawled, staring intently into his eyes so that you can even see them mirror your lines.

It didn't go unnoticed on your sight the way his adam's apple bobbed, it made you release a snarky smile. "I believe you're drunk, miss" He coughed trying to compose himself and he didn't fail. The vulnerability you saw earlier fade almost immediately at the same time you noticed it.

"Too bad... I can clearly see you being turned on" You pouted, eyes gesturing at the forming tent on his pants; his eyes trailing behind.

"And, are you sure I'm drunk?"

"Well, are you?" He asks, the low tone of his voice making your skin shiver. You shake your head, smirking at him before grabbing a half-empty bottle of champagne and taking a drink of it. Oblivious, at the pair of eyes who are watching you with so much amusement.

"So..." You crawled on top, straddling him. Your lips can't help but smirk when you feel him jutting out his legs more for you. "Will you do me?"

"Don't need to tell me twice, kitten" His lips crashed with yours. Both lips molded perfectly with each other, and his teeth tugged at your lower rim demanding an entrance. The sudden stipulation made you smile in between your kiss and the way he deepens it made you think that he can't get enough of you.

The man pulled off from the kiss, heavy eyes setting on you while his hands feel your legs. "Come with me" He whispered leaving a butterfly kiss on one of your shoulders.

He gently pushes you off his lap before pulling you outside. There's another door aside from the one you use to get in, the said door was connected to a hallway where a modern elevator was waiting at the end of it. The two of you get inside and the man didn't waste the chance to once again entangled your bodies. He traps you on one of the corners, closing the space between the two of you with his body.

His lips immediately found yours, groaning when your lips caught him openly. Your arms can't help but unconsciously snake to his neck from the spur of the moment. He grabs your right leg, attaching it to his hips grinding himself on your clothed pussy

'Ding!' The elevator opened at its designated floor. The man pulled you again until both of you stops in front of a room. He snake his hands on his pocket, you noticed something black like a card. It must be a key card since he swipe it before the door automatically opens.

He pulled you in again before closing the door with your weight, kissing you hard again as if it was the first time he ever tastes you. The man scopes you up, both of your legs on either side of his body as both of you kiss like there's no tomorrow.

He put you on the bed, his hands tugging on his tie before pulling it off while his eyes set on you the whole time. You felt your pussy throb. How can someone be so hot just from pulling their tie off?

"Are you really sure about this?"

You didn't answer but nodded instead, the man shook his head. "I need your words, baby" His hands felt your cheeks, tucking your hair on your right ear. You hummed while closing your eyes to feel his tender touch, "I want you to take me" You finally said looking straight into his eyes.

"Just kiss me." And he did. He kisses you just how you like it, just how he likes it. It was as if he wants to devour you whole and you love it.

The man attacks your neck pulling you closer to him while leaving open mouth kisses on the way to your clothed chest. He was an expert, he made you lose your mind with his touch that you didn't even feel his fingers untying the strings from the back to loosen your shoulder strap.

He released a shaky breath at the sight of your bare breast. You felt his hot breath on your nipples and they almost immediately got hardened making him chuckle. His hands started massaging your front, followed by his mouth where his tongue played with your nipple, teeth bitting with your tits that made you lose your mind.

You felt his hands slowly traveling southward until he felt the wet spot on your panties caused by him. He didn't waste time and set the string of your thong aside then plunged a finger inside you that made you moan.

"Didn't even need to lubricate you on how wet you are, princess. So wet just because of me" He said, mouth and finger going back from to torturing both your tits and hole.

Your moan gets louder when he adds another finger and then another. "Fuck... ah!"

"Jay..." He suddenly said still pleasuring you.

"W-hat?"

"Moan my name" You don't know how your brain processed it but you nod. So his name was Jay? This a distinctive way of exchanging names but you love it

Jay eyes all your reaction as he torments you in pleasure. His hands didn't just go in and out but also up and down, even circling his fingers as if he was tickling the deepest part of you.

It didn't take long before the pleasure spreads across your body, the feeling of pleasure from his mouth and fingers mixing into a big pressure inside your stomach. You were practically screaming his new-learned name from pleasure and he was letting you. Even felt him smiling from your skin as you emphatically close your eyes.

"I- ah! gonna... cum! Jay!" You shouted feeling his pace becoming faster than before, making your back arches and head was thrown back at the bed. With one last cry of his name, you finally cum. Jay's fingers ride your high while you motionlessly lay on your back, mind still blown from the orgasm.

Jay lay beside you, his clothed erection brushing on your legs as he did. "You alright?"

You sighed before nodding just looking at the white ceiling, "That was... wow" a chuckle came out of your lips before looking at him. Jay was resting his head on his hands as he lay on his side while looking down at you, "One thing is for sure..." His brow rose, wordlessly telling you to continue. "I'm definitely not drunk"

Both of you chuckled, and you can't help but to stare at him. He really is beautiful. Your eyes gaze on his pants, "Aren't we going to take care of that?" You ask as you felt Jay eyes his erection.

"I don't know, will you?"

Is he challenging you? He didn't even know how you love challenges. You smirked pushing him to lay on his back that made jay smile in amusement, "Definitely" You took the chance to straddle him again, your bare chest giggling at the sudden movement.

Jay's dick was exactly underneath your pussy making you sigh in relief. The adonis sit up crashing his lips to you while you take off his suit then unbutton his polo and finally his well-toned body is displayed in front of you. "Like what you see?" He asks, brow raising at you.

You scoffed playfully, "And what if I do?"

And, that's the last thing you remembered before passing out and finally waking up in bed in the same room you and the man named 'jay' practically devoured each other out. You don't remember anything after you blacked out, and you're not certainly sure if you really took care of Jay's err— problem but one thing you are sure of is that you didn't get laid, well, in terms with penetration, that is.

You enjoyed the night, that's for sure. So, you waited for Jay. You waited for the man who made you see stars the night before but no one came. You also tried finding some notes or any message he might have left but nothing. Jay must've got turned off after you passed out on him last night. Oh well, life goes on. You can't really do something about it even though you're dying to see him again to try to make it up for how he made you feel. But then again, you have a reputation to maintain and so, you prepare yourself to go to work.

"Is it true that Chairman Park's grandson is finally here after years of managing our western branch?"

"Maybe? I'm just hoping he's hot— ah, good morning, sunbae!" it didn't go unnoticed to your ears on how the woman's voice raised a little higher before both of them bowed to you as a respect when you step inside the elevator. You're not a strict superior and have your own issue to resolve so you just dismissed them after returning a simple smile and a bow.

"Oh, so you're alive. We thought you were dead and got your organs sold over the black market." That's the first thing your co-worker, karina asked as soon as you pulled the glass door to step inside. You stared at her dumbfounded, mouth slight agape. "Not gonna let me sit first are you?"

The woman stared and is hot on your heels as you make your way on your own table to put your things down. You're not looking at Karina but you can feel how she rolled her eyes when you purposely do your own thing a little bit slowly to make your friend suffer a little bit. You know how she hates slow people.

You heard her huff a quiet laugh, still waiting for you as she rest both her arms on the lining that made your table's wall separator.

After making yourself comfortable sitting on your swivel chair, you finally look up to Karina; a teasing smile on your lips when you saw your friend's ticking patience.

She exhaled air, "So, what happened? We got so worried when we didn't saw you last night, even you're phone is off-" You quietly showed her your dead phone in which she just nodded. "Ryujin even thought someone kidnapped you" Well... that's not completely wrong, isn't it?

"I'm still alive and kicking as you can see, rin. And, I'm sorry about my lines not being open. I know you two are worried. Don't worry, this will never happen again."

"Fine... so what happened? Did you finally lost your virginity?"

"No"

"What?"

And so you tell the things that happened this morning, leaving all the details about the stunt you and jay pulled last night.

"So, you met this guy who brought you to a hotel room upstairs, blacked out and then that's it? Are you sure he didn't do something to you?" Karina asked, worried glazed over her voice.

You nodded before answering 'yeah', "I still have my clothes on and I don't feel anything wrong with my body."

"Well, that's good. I'm relieved nothing bad happened to you." She sighed, "So, what's the plan?"

You were about to say something when Ryujin ran inside hugging you, "Y/n! What happened? Are you alright?" Her hug was suffocating. This made you tap her, "Tigh—t!" She immediately pulled away whispering a soft 'sorry'.

"I'm alright, no need to worry, ryu."

"Okay, but that's not the only reason why I ran here. I heard that..." The girl signals for her hands to make you and karina scoot closer. "I heard that the chairman's son was here today and that he'll manage the company from now on." Ryujin whispered making Karina nod.

"Nothing new? I just heard about that in the elevator on my way here"

"That's cheating—"

"Everyone to the assembly hall, now!" One of the seniors announced after knocking on the glass, not even bothering to make his whole body go inside the door.

"What is it now?" Karina whispered but started walking towards the elevator otherwise. "Maybe we'll know whether the gossip about chairman park's son is true or not." You shrugged.

You, together with the other employees arrived at the hall not long after to finally take your respective seats. It was full and all the other high end members of the board were there too. "Something's big is coming" Ryujin whispered on your side that made you nod as you waited for the program to start.

"President Park Jongseong will now start his inauguration speech" Said the speaker as the crowd erupted in applauses as two young men entered the venue from the side before walking towards the stage. "President? Woah. He's our new boss." Karina whispered but you didn't care. Your eyes pinned on the man who was now in front of the center podium.

That's...

"Thank you for your warm welcome—" You can't hear what he's saying but you didn't remove your gaze at him. He's jay, right? The one who— wait. Is he looking over here?

You immediately lowkey covered your face and looked down when you realized he did. You're hoping he didn't see you at all. Hell, you're a few meters away from the stage. You're even sitting at the very end row of the chairs. There's no way he saw you.

Shit. You cursed realizing the weight of your actions. You just made your new boss finger you last night. The worst of it is that you even blacked out in front of him. You're fucked, Sim Y/n. You are fucked!

The speech address finished in line without fail or disturbance. Jay didn't even look over your way again much to your relief. After the speech was finished, the new president thanked the board members and immediately left saying he still had things to prepare for and that's the last thing you see 'Jay' today. It was as if nothing happened between the two of you and that he forgot about your existence.

After the event, things got back to normal. Aside from him being the sole topic of your office mate's conversation, nothing new reminds you about the man who does you good that turns out to be your new boss. That's why you're convinced that things finally ended. Well, that's what you thought.

"Y/n, are you sure you don't need us to wait for you?" Ryujin asked standing behind your chair, karina on the side. "No, really. I'm fine. Another slide and I'll finish this presentation then I'll go home. Don't let me take your time to relax." You replied smiling at them. They were convinced and so they finally left you.

It's early in the evening and you bet you're the last person on the floor. Not that you despised it. The presentation was due next week but you have the energy to finish it and so you did. You just wanted to spare yourself another workload next week.

After printing the last page, you decided to call it a day. You were about to ride the elevator when someone called you from behind. You look over your shoulder before turning around and finally met by an unknown guy explaining the unfamiliar voice that called you just now.

"Yes? Can I help you?" You politely asked, "One of the board members asked for you."

Board member? Me? That's weird. You thought you were the only person left.

"I understand, Mister...?"

"Kim. Kim Sunoo." He answered, smiling before starting to walk to show you the way.

"Sorry, I just don't recall seeing you around here." You explained looking at the back of his head. You heard Sunoo chuckled, "Well, we're new here, Ms. Sim."

We? But your confusion was resolved when you heard someone knocking but saw it was Sunoo. "Park sajang, miss sim is here."

Wait, park sajang? Your eyes got wide before looking at sunoo who just signal for you to come inside. Now, that you took a good look at him, you realize that sunoo's the same man you saw earlier at the assembly hall. The one who stands behind Jay, the chief secretary of this company.

"Miss Sim..." You woke up in daze when you heard his voice again. You didn't even realize that sunoo finally opened the door for you. And after contemplating things, you finally took a step inside.

The room was quite dark but well lit with the warm lights shining on the side. The wide glass window overseeing the city lights while a man, you knew was Jay, had his back turned to you while sitting on his table.

No one talked. The silence was suffocating at least, for you. Time finally came where you can't take it anymore and finally braved yourself to say something.

"You called for me, President Park?" You asked trying your best not to sound nervous.

The man stopped on whatever he was doing before finally facing you still sitting on his table with a folder on his hand.

"Sunoo" He called.

"Yes, Mr. Park?" Sunoo immediately answered from the other side of the door. I thought he left.

"I can take it from here, you can leave." You heard a 'yes, sir' before hearing the sound of steps finally fading.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Sim?"

You didn't look at him straight, just keeping your eyes on the floor. You heard him chuckled in low tone. That's sexy. "Now, where is that feisty woman i met last night, hmm kitten?"

"What?" You heard him right. You knew what he meant but your mind is currently blanked.

What's going to happen to you now? Will you get fired? Will you be homeless?

"Ms. Sim..." He called again making you look at him. He started walking towards you. You wanted to run or hide, whatever it is but you felt your body froze. Jay is now a few steps away from you. No suit in sight, just his white simple polo partnered with black slacks, two buttons unbuttoned causing his tan chest showing a little bit to tease. His sleeves were neatly folded up to his elbow wearing simple black bracelet while a glass adorned his eyes surely to read the files earlier. He looks so neat, elegant and... fucking sexy that you can't help but think how he'll look if you he decided to defile—

NO! What the heck are you thinking, Y/n?!

"I'm asking how you feel about last night..." Jay suddenly pulled you closer by your waist making you gasped, your hands automatically touching his shoulder and back for support. "How will you feel about picking up what you started last night?" Jay whispered in your ears and you swear you shivered, goosebumbs spreading on your skin. The only thing running on your mind is how you love to kiss him.

Oh fuck it! You thought before clashing your lips with him.

Jay greeted you with the same desire, playing with your tongue as both of you moan in pleasure.

"This is the office, Mr. Park." You whispered in between kisses. "I know," He replied leaving marks on your neck, "I just can't help it knowing I might lose you again."

"You won't. I promise."

Jay then looked straight in your eyes before kissing your forehead. "Let's get out of here."

Things happened so fast that you didn't even realize how the two of you got down towards the parking lot and into Jay's car. He immediately started the engine before driving away. Jay drove over the hills away from the traffic that explains why the drive felt like a blink of an eye.

You just saw yourself looking at Jay as he parked inside a huge house with an automatic gate that opened itself when his car stopped in front of it.

"Wait here" Your brain didn't have enough time to register his words when Jay jogged towards your side of door, opened it and started picking you up like a newly wedded bride.

"What—! Sir, I can walk."

"Sorry, can't help it" He whispered even though it's evident in his voice that he's not really sorry for the stunt. "And, that's Jay to you. We're not in the office anymore, Y/N."

How did he know your name? Oh, he's your new boss. It's not surprising if he did know basic information about you who's one of his employee. And with that, you simply nodded as Jay ascended the stairs and into a room. He gently puts you to bed as he connects his lips with yours. "Can't run now, kitten."

"I don't have the plan anyway" You replied, removing his polo, yours being the next one to join the pile of clothing on the floor. Jay started kissing your neck on the way to your chest where his skilled hands remove your brassiere in one swift move. He then continued his ventures southward kissing your stomach before removing your office skirt together with your lacey panties completely.

He spread your legs making you shiver in pleasure. Just the thoughts of the things he'll do to you is making you turned on, what more if he finally does it.

"Relax, kitten." He said before diving through your folds earning a moan from you. "J-jay! Ugh!" Fuck, he's eating you so good that your hands can't help but tugged his hair. Your moans got louder when his tongue focused on your clit before adding two fingers on your hole practically eating and fingering you like there's no tomorrow.

He can feel that you're close even if you won't say it or... don't have the ability to say it. You were far up to the stars and he will happily take you there. And just like what you want, a knot is slowly building in your stomach, the pleasure was so good that you finally started to let go following with moans.

Jay hummed on your pussy, riding your pleasure like a good man that he is. Keeping his pace unturned as it sends waves of pleasure throughout your whole body making you breathless.

You felt jay checking on you, ensuring you're comfortable enough as if he didn't just made you lose your mind using only his mouth and fingers a few minutes ago. "You okay? I'll do it now" He asked, innocently. You simply nod, still catching your breath that the man took away.

"Shut up... and, just do me" The man chuckled kissing your lips then pulling away to remove his belt and pants to finally show his hardness.

You propped up through your elbows, "Are you sure that'll fit?" Jay laughed at your worried yet amazed face. "So cute!" He crawled on top of you, "Don't worry, I'll make it less painful, love." You felt him spreading your legs further using his, and he felt how you tensed causing him to kiss you again.

Jay used his hand to run his cock up and down spreading your wetness and hitting your clit on the process. The stunt made you relax that he used to his advantage.

He suddenly thrust, fully. "Fucking shit! You-you're so big, Jay" You cursed feeling the pain on your lower body causing you to push yourself up.

Jay shivered on what you said, hugging your body trying not to fuck you mindlessly. "C-lose... shit, you're so tight" He can feel your hotness. It's making him lose his mind. This is better than heaven itself. You are better than life can offer to him.

"You can move now..." And, he did. No need to tell him twice. He started experimental thrust before picking up his pace when he felt you finally feeling it as your moans became louder, breaths becoming deeper and words becoming more lewd.

"Ugh! Shit, Jay. Yes! There!" You screamed scratching his back voluntarily spreading your legs to make him thrust deeper.

"I'm gonna... J-jay..." You whispered to him. Slapping of skin, moans and grunts filled the room. You were practically screaming all the pleasures, eyes shut tight.

"Cum inside. It's fine."

Jay didn't answer but the way his dick twitched inside let you know he understands. "Cum with me, love" He groaned, hastening his thrust, with one last curse both of you cum together painting your inside with thick white.

Both of you didn't move, still chasing your breaths, trying to recover from the waves of pleasure that's still running through your bodies.

"Don't move..." You whispered on his ears. You felt him kissed your cheeks, "So, this is your newfound kink. You want me to breed you?"

"Will you?"

"Don't mind me if I do." You both laughed, "I need to clean you though." And, you let him. Jay slowly pulled away from your hole making you gasped. You immediately felt the warm and thick cum sliding through your inner thighs and into the bed.

He wear his boxer again before disappearing to one of the room that you deemed as the bathroom. You took the time to slowly sit up looking at the evidence of your purity, and there it is the red stain that looks kind of prideful in your opinion.

When jay came again, he got some towels and a basin on his hands. "What? Can't believe that you just lost your virginity to me?"

"Yes, and no. I don't regret it at all. It's just that... that you're my boss." You replied, shyness taking toll on your system that you tried to hide by laying down and closing your eyes again.

The next thing you felt is a warm towels that jay is using to clean your body, "You alright?"

It feels so nice that you just answered with a hum.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"What are we?"

You felt the towel stopped as if he was also thinking but then it continues, "Depends om what you want. Just remember that I like you"

You opened your eyes to look at him, "Like me... you mean?" He nodded, "But, how? I mean, we just met yesterday night."

"Maybe to you. I know you since the first time I worked at the company. We're both an intern that time. Dad asked me to go work by disguise to let me learn about the company" Jay explained slowly and when your brain process his words, you unconsciously sit up making you hiss and making jay groaned, uttering a simple 'careful'.

"Wait so you're jongseong? The jongseong that we don't even know the last name since you don't have an ID and you wont tell us."

He chuckled before nodding, "There even a time that you doubted me whether I truly worked at the company before." Jay then helped you wear one of his clothes to make you further comfy.

"You just vanished, I thought you're not real."

"Dad made me managed the business overseas. It took me three years to come back again. Last night, I can't believe I'll see you again just a day after I came back. You didn't chang, except that you became more beautiful, but other than that, you're still the woman that I admired. You danced truly enjoying yourself not for the other people and that's when I realized that you're the same person I want to see." Oh, so his the same person that observing me from the second floor yesterday. Jay cleaned himself then lay beside me, he covered both our bodies in the duvet before pulling me closer. I turned around to face him, I want to see him closer.

"I was planning to surprise you at work the next day, not as the president though." He continued, tucking some of my stubborn hair. "But then, imagine the shocked my body went through when you told me to take you. Seriously, my mind went blank. I can't... I am relieved that you walk to me and not another men."

"Whatever it is. Just remember that I like you, and I wanted to know more about this feelings. We can take it slow, I can wait. Just let me have the chance to prove myself to you" You smiled, you can feel that he's genuine and trying to walk on eggshells around you trying not to scare you.

You put your hands on his nape, closing your eyes. "Okay, let's do that."

© hrdenha 2023

[fluffymaxsworld]

hii i just came across your blog and i love your theme!! it’s so cute :))))

can i request könig defending the reader from teasing? maybe she’s a new recruit for kortac and she’s very soft spoken and some other recruits are making fun of her b/c she’s so quiet!! könig overhears this and comes to readers defense!!

thank u bunches!!!

-🐻‍❄️

STOP THIS IS LITERALLY SO SO CUTE 😭😭

könig x gn!reader

(i changed it a bit so you’re soft spoken and a lil shy)

you’re someone new, like never ever been in the military and your first mission is no other than a undercover one!! you’re so so scared bc you know how hard for you is social interactions, especially talking with strangers, ESPECIALLY on an undercover mission that’s supposed to be your first. and its so uncomfortable bc everyone is so used to this type of missions but you :( so you decide to talk to a superior and share your problem. he’s so kind and doesn’t mind that you’re shy and he tells you it’s okay for you to stay at the base.

four are the people that aren’t picked for the mission, you, two men you barely talked to and this big, scary masked guy (lol guess who is!!).

you kinda feel that feeling of shame for not being in the mission, after all everyone knew that that was supposed to be your first one so you just sit there, staring at your lap and sometimes biting on your nails. that big scary guy (who you finally remembered was könig) just sat in front of you with legs spread and body relaxed.

after awhile the two other men approached you. at first they barely acknowledged your presence but then it seemed like they realized who you were and why you were there.

“you skipped the first mission?” one of them asked.

“and the undercover one, over all! it’s basically free buffet and a couple of trackers!” the other continued.

“i don’t like socializing that much…” you muttered, still glaring holes in your lap. your voice was soft and sweet, definitely not the voice of a military woman. they stared at you for a second and then one of them started laughing.

“that’s the fuckin’ weirdest excuse i’ve ever heard!” he said, looking at his friend.

“woman, you can just say you’re lazy, no need to make up a lie like that”

“it’s not a lie…” you replied, voice shaking. you could feel sweat forming on your forehead and lips trembling. you wanted to bury a hole and hide in it.

“it’s not a lie” someone repeated (woooh🫣). you stared up and saw the big, scary man behind the other two. he looked at them and they cheaply excused them self, saying something like “relax man, we were joking” or “you’re no fun…”.

as soon as the two men stepped out the room he turned around to face you.

“are you okay?” he asked, the eyes softening slightly.

“now i am, thank you” you said, catching up the breaths you lost in that hell of a minute.

“you’re the new recruit, aren’t ya?” he asked. you could tell he was from central europe, germany or austria, he had a very clear accent.

“yeah.” you presented yourself, smiling awkwardly at the situation.

“the captain told me ‘bout ya. can’t handle galas or parties?” he said genuinely. it felt like you could trust him, even if you barely knew his name.

“yes. i don’t like talking to strangers…” you answered.

“my cousin has the same problem, ya know? he doesn’t want to host a party, not even for his 18s” he chuckled.

you could help but smiling, his laugh was contagious.

“you must care a lot about him” i said, now enjoying really much his presence.

“yeah. he gets me. you don’t seem scared of me, though. does it mean i made a good first impression?” he asked with a grin on his face that was so oblivious even with the mask on.

you smiled and nodded.

“we’ll get along really well…”

a/n: my god this was so fun to write!! i have a latin exam tomorrow but i wanted to post it earlier, i hope it was okayy :33

i might do a pt.2 tho i wanna make em kiss😈

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

What's yout opinion on these two Owl House analysis posts (sending them in another ask)

Thank you for the links. Just for future reference though, that blog blocked me awhile back for reasons I can only guess at so I had to find another way to read the posts.

My biggest issue with these kinds of analyses is how it really has to ignore how toh executes its themes and rely on historical and political realities and awkwardly tie it to the show.

Belos may be a metaphor for colonization and oppression but good luck finding anything consistent in the show to actually demonstrate that. Belos may have been inspired by fundamentalists conservatives and he may speak like one, but on a societal level, the Boiling Isles is not a good representation of a world run by a religious zealot.

There are no wild witches that are routinely persecuted; Eda is able to walk around openly (save for one episode) with no fear of being arrested, Luz is able to multi-track despite Bump's initial misgivings about the EC potentially withdrawing funding from the school (something that never happens) no one actually treats the Titan like a divine entity despite Belos' reign being founded on that very premise, and the citizens are allowed to openly defy the emperor's potential execution of Eda--despite being the living embodiment of everything the people of the Boiling Isles are taught to fear.

There is one rule in the isles: no wild magic.

Outside of that, witches are free to live as they wish. Joining a coven is seen more like choosing a career path and not something one must do or risk ostracization. Eda doesn't suffer because she's a wild witch. Not really. The narrative focuses more on her curse and how she isolated herself because of that and had to turn to crime to make ends' meet.

Because of this, it's difficult to really discuss Belos as a metaphor for colonization when the islands don't suffer or at least the show doesn't demonstrate why joining a coven is bad outside it being a requirement. So really the theme is freedom of choice rather than "the oppressed must overthrow the oppressor."

It's Belos' status as a Puritan that's doing the heavy-lifting in any kind of post that makes the claim that toh is about colonization. Which is why so many of these posts fall back on meta-analysis and tossing in historical references rather than what actually happens in the show.

As for Luz being an immigrant to the Boiling Isles....I mean I guess? The problem is that Luz never learns to appreciate the BI on its own terms because everything is handed to her; the issue of humans not being able to eat the BI's food is dropped early and the only threats she faces are scammers. A better depiction of a girl-going-to-a-fantasy world-as-an-immigrant metaphor is Amphibia, in which Anne learns the culture and customs of Wartwood and even earns the title of Frog of the Year because of her progress and growth. We never get anything like that with Luz because Bonesborough doesn't have a distinct identity like Wartwood does. We don't get to know recurring side characters outside of Luz's clique at Hexside. Luz doesn't even work as an immigrant in Gravesfield because her problem isn't framed due to her heritage, the focus is on her overenthusiasm for Azura. Camila doesn't struggle fitting in because she's Dominican (and no, letting her hair get curly again is weak because it's literally the only example of her possibly changing herself to fit in). Her struggle is tied to her daughter and the grief they share over Manny's passing. So there's no evidence of the Nocedas having to "submit" to the dominant culture of Gravesfield because we don't know what Gravesfield's culture is. There's no oppression and Vee gets along fine despite coming from another dimension.

Finally, as for Luz's angst over being like Belos--that her anger makes her like him. Yeah no, this is weak. First of all, this is the first time that she expresses concern over being like him due to her anger. In the previous two episodes, the concern was that she "helped" Belos find the Collector and is therefore responsible for his rise and the subsequent centuries of suffering. Then, she's worried about always making mistakes and how that leads to more people being hurt. Next, in her nightmare sequence, she fears her friends secretly hate her because she helped Belos and is the cause of all this suffering so she might as well be him.

But now, her fear is being like him because she wanted the Collector to blast him and that Belos' desire to save humanity is uncomfortably close to her own.

Sorry what?

Luz previously rejected Belos's stated goal of saving humanity in King's Tide when she called him out on his hypocrisy. At every encounter, Luz calls Belos out on his bullshit, why is it now does she seriously consider that his goals are similar to her own?

Oh, so the Titan can alleviate her fears, validate her by calling her a "good witch," and throw out all the recent development of Belos' character and motivations because don't worry, he's not genuine. He's just a Symbol so we can ignore the hints of his backstory making him a more complicated character. (And believe me, Belos' story is just vague enough that you could interpret him in any number of ways).

To conclude, I've noticed a trend in fan posts that develop a conclusion and work backwards from there, taking what they want from the show that fits to support their idea and ignore everything else. It's terrible analysis even if some good points are made.

[princessbiteme0o0]

Alright guys, it’s time for a come to Jesus meeting.

Alright so it has come to my attention that some people within the Jschlatt and Ted Nivison community have been bullying writers for awhile now. Making a writer feel bad for not writing something that THEY don’t feel like writing isn’t cool. As a writer in this beautifully made community, I do not and will not tolerate disrespect. Having said that- do not come to me with your disrespect, do not come to me expecting that I HAVE TO write something for you, and I WILL NOT TOLERATE DISRESPECT TOWARDS OTHER CREATORS AND WRITERS. So help me God, it isn’t up to YOU what other people write. If YOU have a problem with what they’re writing, block and move on. If YOU have a problem with what they choose not to write, block and move on. Grow up and act like adults. Also, minors interacting with posts marked DNI- you need to learn to stop taking part in things that could get both YOU and THE CREATOR in trouble. Stop messaging people with their age CLEARLY STATED in their blog if they are 18 and up. STOP interacting with 18 and up blogs.

I am so fucking sick of the bullying in this fandom. It is ridiculous.

HAVING SAID THAT, I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO BITCH ABOUT BECAUSE I AM P I S S E D WITH YOU ALL.

So, Schlatt and Ted. They might be ‘famous youtubers’ that doesn’t give you the right to gate keep their appearances. If you don’t like the way they look in a specific video or photo, ignore it and move on.

I keep seeing these little comments here and there about hair, weight, appearance in general. Some of you seem to forget THEY ARE HUMAN TOO. STOP JUDGING OTHERS ON HOW THEY LOOK.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL, HMM?

How would YOU feel if on a day where you’re not looking your absolute best if people that are supposed to be ‘fans’ are posting pictures or video clips saying ‘eww’ and ‘disgusting’ or calling you fat? I have seen so much blatant disrespect towards many others in this fanbase.

Get pissed at me all you want, but I am FUCKING SICK of seeing people TALKING SHIT and NOT getting called out about it.

I am fully aware that I’m not the most active writer on here and I’m okay with that, BUT if I START GETTING those little asks and shit, I will just completely move to AO3 because, people, you need to grow up.

IF I SEE ONE MORE THING BITCHING ABOUT HOW TED OR SCHLATT LOOK, I WILL REPORT YOU.

At the end of the day, what did we learn?

Maybe treat others with respect

Keep an open mind

Remember that writers have boundaries too and THAT’S OKAY.

Respect those boundaries or chances are, we will ignore you.

If you don’t like someone’s content, block and move on.

Bullying someone isn’t okay

CREATORS AND WRITERS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Since this is currently my most active blog with some followers, just wanted to say a few things:

It's so incredibly depressing to see tumblr sellout to the whole AI shit and try to pacify users by the opt-out toggle option when it mostly likely won't do jack shit. Tumblr has been doing shitty things for awhile now, but out of all old social media it was a last shabby bastion for various weirdos, including a fandom weirdo like me.

I'm just an old silly hobbyist artist who badly draws fanart of old cartoons, but even the idea that my stuff will help train AI to be better to stealing desirable art of actual artists, whose work is their livelyhood is fucking maddening. Opting out won't help (Sources say data is already available to companies). Deleting stuff won't help (tumblr have access to deleted blogs and reblogs put your stuff in reach too). Using Nightshade and Glaze is not a viable option for me (my old laptop's specks is not up to support those programs, and I'm too afraid to try and accidently fry it and than all my shit would be lost) and even those doesn't solve the problems of all of my old stuff across like 7 sideblogs+my old tumblr account's 2 blogs.

Of course, maybe all hope is not lost for tumblr. There may be solutions and decisions later down the line. But for now I probably won't be posting any new stuff for a bit while I decide if I want to stay on tumblr and be complicit in feeding the insidious and insatiable AI machines.

And as alternatives, I created new account for bluesky, and consider pillowfort and cohost to share my random silly art. Even dusted out my old tapas and newgrounds accounts, and consider webtoons and comicfury to post and archive my few comics. Hopefully I will share links in my pinned post when I set whatever I decide up, even if all of it is so exhausting and depressing.

And hey, if you read this so far - just a reminder:

Opt out on that 'share with third parties' toggle like explained here! - it may do jack shit, but its better than nothing.

Write a polite disagreeing feedback to staff like suggested on this post. - remember not all staff had a hand in this, so no need to be rude, but make sure to have your voice be heard.

Use Nightshade and Glaze to poison your art - if you are an artist and are able to do it unlike me. It may not be sure proof way to stop/kill AI, but it sure shows that artists will fight back.

Use ArtShield - an online lowtech alternative to Nightshade & Glaze, puts a stamp/watermark on your art, invisible to humans but supposedly makes AI think its unsuitable to train on. (edit)

And please, take a moment for yourself. Because it fucking sucks.

So, I'm gonna go take a step back and burrow into some hole and cry for all of those who AI fucks over. I won't be gone forever, but for now I'm too frustrated and dissapointed to do anything.

and ALSO just to be fucking clear

🇺🇦 I STAND WITH UKRAINE 🇺🇦

🇵🇸 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸

🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS 🏳️‍⚧️

🚫 AI CREATIONS ARE NOT ART🚫

fuck you shitty side tumblr I wish you all a fucking hammer car explosion

[l4ysinterlude]

nun! reader and Muzan Kibutsuji smut? (not hardcore or rape pls)

think about it. Someone pure and innocent gettin lustful with a suave, handsome demon. (only do what nsfw your comfy with tho.)

y’all got the most scrumptious ideas and i love it. thanks so much for requesting lovely anon. been awhile since i’ve did smut but let’s get this show on the road!,

Innocent?

content: muzan x nun! afab! reader

(didn’t know which reader you wanted, so i went with afab.)

warnings: 16+ blog, nsfw, praising, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names (love, darling, sweetheart), neck kissing/biting, consensual

genre: oneshots

wk: 0.9k+

you were now finishing up the late night church service. the priest had finished the benediction and everyone starting to head home for the night. you were now cleaning the rows around the church and sweeping the floor, but felt a presence.

you turned around going to talk to the person but nobody was there. the presence now was behind you as you can feel the cool air from their mouth. you turned around again, looking at the tall man in front of you.

“oh, muzan! you scared me. you couldn’t just used the doors in front of the church.” you asked.

the handsome man finally spoke.

“i went through the back way, thought i come to see you.” he said. you smiled at him, thinking it was sweet.

“well, church has concluded. what are still doing here? i thought you may be heading home with your wife.” you asked curiously. he simply walked closer to you and grab you by the waist; pulling you into him. you looked at him confused, not really sure what to do.

he then leaned into your ear and whispered, “is this okay, love?” he asked.

you were too shocked to move. you stood there, not sure if you should reply. you then hesitantly responded, “…yes.” you said nervously. he took that response and kept going further. he went down to your neck kissing it gently. you whimpered into the soft touch of his lips, slowly starting to submit. he kissed further down to your collarbone and bit on it, trickling down some of your blood.

you wince in pain but slowly turning into pleasure, getting turned on by the minute. he looked up at you, chuckling at your whimpering face. “did you like that? want me to go further, darling?” he asked seductively. as much as you didn’t want to do this in a church; you nod your head, giving him permission to keep going.

his travels down to your stomach and then to the plump of your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. he lets go and leads you to one of the church rows.

“lay down,” he said.

you laid down on the hard front row of the church. muzan goes in to lift up your dress. you were soaking.

“haha.. all this for me? you don’t look very holy right now, sweetheart.” he laughed. you got flustered and tried to hide it. muzan removed your hands from covering your arousal. “this is not appropriate to do this at a church, muzan.” you stated. he laughed at you.

“well you sure didn’t have a problem when i asked for consent, my naughty little nun.” he stated back. you kept quiet. he was right, you did allow him to do this. he then starts moving his hand towards your crotch; slowly rubbing it, feeling the wetness from your cunt. you moaned lowly, trying not to make much noise.

“ah ah… let me that pretty voice of yours,” he said as he started to rub faster.

you moaned again, let your voice out more; giving him what he wanted. “good girl…” he said as he moved his middle finger to touch your clothed clit. you back arch, moaning into this new sensation. he then stopped and took your panties off to expose your pretty pussy.

“..what are you doing?” you asked, still trying to catch your breath.

“i’m going to have my dinner.. can i eat, love?” he asked, waiting for your approval to continue. you nodded as he took the validation to go down in between your thighs. he licked his long tongue into your folds, getting a taste of your juices. he continued to give licks and explode, leaving nothing untouched. you moaned as you put your hands in his hair, encouraging him to keep going.

he chuckled and continue to eat, eventually sucking on your clit that made your toes curl. “…you taste so amazing, darling,” he praised; still not letting up.

he then let his free hand go down to your hole, pushing a finger inside. you moaned loud to the added pleasure. he start moving his finger and curling it occasionally, making your back arch even more. he added a second finger, continuing the pace he was in.

“ah! oh.. god—“ you moaned out. he then looked up at you with his sharp, red, glowing eyes and chuckled.

“yes.. moan to your god.” he kept eating and fingering you until you were about to crack. you couldn’t even comprehend what he said, your mind was so clouded.

“fuck..! i’m cumming—!” you screamed.

“cum.. cum on my face.” he said, fingering and sucking faster.

you finally cummed on his face and he licked every drop of your juices. he let up and wiped the excess juices on his face.

“Innocent huh? this is so not innocent of you. god themselves wouldn’t approve..” he stated as you high finally starts to calm down. you sat up embarrassed that you did this in an establishment of praise and worship. you decided to ignore his statement and searched for your undergarment’s.

“we should probably get this cleaned up, don’t want the place to be dirty.” you put your panties back on and stood up fixing your dress.

“maybe when we’re done, we could probably continue this somewhere secure..” he whispered in your ear. you gulped.

“as long… it’s not here.” you said.

“yes ma’am.” he said, smiling.

you grabbed a mop and begin cleaning and packing the church, leaving with muzan. something you saw about him wasn’t normal. his eyes were glowing when we made eye contact… you’ll ask him later.

you’re in a lot more than you think.

© Please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, edit, or repost any of my works on any third-party websites or apps (ex. Wattpad, Ao3).

[fruitsoxs]

Mmm yes another trigun blog I can’t wait to see your writing! Would love a little headcanon / Drabble if the boys when they get jealous! Situation up to you but I love pining fics 😼

you got it anon ! I love a good jealousy drabble!

Part 2

pairings: vash x reader , wolfwood x reader

warnings: angst on vash's end, insecurity, some swearing,

notes: i wasn't sure who all "the boys" included so i wrote for vash and wolfwood-- vash's was supposed to go another direction but my brain apparently had other ideas lol also this wasn't beta read- so please feel free to point out typos

Vash

Vash’s eyes flick from his cozy little seat, to the bar counter where you are. You’ve been over there for awhile- stuck in a conversation with some random guy. At least he thinks you’re stuck. You look a little too relaxed now that he thinks about it. Do you want to be talking to that guy? His eyes squint as he watches the scene.

You throw your head back lightly at something this guy says, laughing. 

Something inside him snaps at the view- his bright eyes growing unusually sad. He clenches his hand around the glass of water and turns back to the rest of the table. His eyes keep twitching over to you though, and he finds himself growing more and more upset the longer you’re over there.

This is good right? He knows you getting mixed up romantically with someone like him is a bad idea. The closer people got to him, the more likely they were to be hurt. He doesn’t want you to get hurt, in fact he would much rather see you leave him than get hurt. So, a random guy flirting with you shouldn’t be a problem. He should be able to handle this.

And yet, as that guy reaches forward, his fingers almost grazing your arm, Vash feels his stomach flip. 

“Just go fucking intervene needle-noggin.” Wolfwood suddenly interjects, pulling Vash’s attention away from you. “What?” Vash asks, plastering a fake smile on his lips. “What do you mean?”

Wolfwood rolls his eyes and leans back, holding his lighter up to another cigarette. As soon as it’s lit, he breathes in the smoke and lets it out towards Vash’s face. “Don’t play dumb with me. You’ve been acting like a kicked puppy ever since that guy started chatting ‘em up.” Wolfwood nods over at the scene. “Just go over there- assert your dominance or something.”

Vash can’t help but shake his head. Assert his dominance? What does that even mean? 

“It’s fine. We’re here to relax- and they look relaxed!” Vash holds up his hands with another fake smile. The smile fades a bit though as Wolfwood narrows his eyes. “You sure don’t look relaxed.” The fake priest murmurs. Vash can’t really argue with that. He feels so tense he might turn to stone. 

What right does he have infringing on your own personal freedoms though? And why would you care if he was jealous? You didn’t need him. Not the way he needed you. His jaw tenses slightly and he drops his head down into his hands. Wolfwood doesn’t comment any further. 

Vash isn’t sure how long he can deal with this. He looks back over to you one more time, and pushes himself up out of his chair. “Goodnight.” Is all he says to his friend before stumbling towards the exit of the bar- heading back towards the dingy hotel they were staying at. His feet feel heavy against the wooden ground, the loud part goers suddenly feeling suffocating.

As soon as he opens the door and feels the cold air- his body relaxes a bit.

How sad of him to be so worked up over a situation he put himself in. He made a promise to never act on his feelings, and that means he has to be okay with you getting with other people. He has to be okay watching you disappear. How is he supposed to do that if he can’t even watch a guy flirt with you at a bar? This…hurts…so much.

He walks off into the darkness, a soft frown carved into his face.

Wolfwood

The bar is a bit rowdy as people dance and sing, celebrating another day alive. Although usually Nicholas wouldn't shy away from joining in on the celebration, tonight he is feeling particularly on edge. His jaw is tight as he sips slowly on his glass of whiskey, a cigarette hanging lazily from his lips. His eyes on you across the room, they follow you as you dance, though his expression remains stoic. 

You seem particularly popular tonight at this random bar, in the middle of a small crowd of people who swing to the music softly. You aren’t very good at dancing, stumbling from side to side, relying on your partner to stay upright. You look like you’re having fun though, a soft grin decorating your features. It would be cute, if it wasn’t for the arm of another man wrapped around you.

His eyes never leave you as you dance, smoke curling from his lips. He exhales slowly, eyes moving down your body. The rest on the damn arm slung around your waist, his face consorting into a full on scowl at the site. Another sip from his glass as he taps his foot against the ground. Next to him someone laughs- flinging their arm around him. “Oh man if only looks could kill eh?” Meryl slurs- her cheeks are rosy. Of course she’s already wasted, and whens he gets wasted she gets nosy. 

“I’m just making sure nobody tries anything funny.” He growls shrugging her arm off of him. “Sure you are, I totally believe that. You’re definitely not a jealous loser right now.” She mumbles sarcastically. “Hey I got an idea shorty- Fuck off.” Wolfwood growls. Meryl just laughs and walks away, clearly amused by the entire ordeal.

He takes another drag from his cigarette and searches the crowd for you again, a little annoyed he was distracted for so long. His eyes finally catch you as a new guy twirls you around. He narrows his eyes slightly as he catches the man’s arm drop down-

Okay nope. That’s too far.

He stands up without even thinking, slamming hsi glass against the counter before marching over to the dance floor like a man on a mission. The bud in his mouth falls to the floor, and he smooshes against the floor with his foot as he steps over it. His fists clench by his sides, his glare directed at the man.

As soon as he’s close enough the man sees him and lets go of you. “Mind if I cut in.” Wolfwood growls his eyes burning holes into this son of a bitches’s face. The man puts up his hands and backs away. He keeps his glare focused on him, then shifts his eyes down to you. His look softens immediately.

“You…want to dance?” You ask, your eyes wide as you look up at him.

Shit.

He didn’t think this through at all. He doesn’t want to dance- but now you’re giving him this hopeful gaze and he can’t say no- even if he desperately doesn’t want to do this. Besides…he did technically ask. “I…guess?” he mumbles, and you smile softly.

He wraps an arm around you carefully, and you put your soft hand in his. Your other hand rests carefully on his shoulder, like you’re afraid to touch him too much. He waits for a minute before leading you into a simple dance.

You really are a horrible dancer. You keep stepping on his feet, and he’s pretty sure you aren’t even paying attention to the music. Your attention is all on him, and it makes his cheeks burn. “So…why’d you cut in?” You ask suddenly. His cheeks burn brighter. 

“Saw he was getting a little too handsy. You’re welcome.” 

You shake your head and lean in closer to him. “Sure.”

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Hey I was checking your blog and I was wondering if you were the people who asking what they teaching kids in schools about slavery

Well as someone who was part of the American education system. Let me tell you a little secret

Arab, Asian, and ESPECIALLY African slavers are intentionally left out of the education systems

Like remember the women king movie that lionized the Dahomey? Well fun fact for generations my community, the African American community, was told for generations that Africa was that garden of peace until the white devils came and ruined it. In fact I didn’t even know about the Dahomey until people was exposing the atrocities they did after the women king trailer dropped.

I had a near mental breakdown learning that black Americans basically did a equivalent of “Holocaust survivors romanticizing the Nazis” and I’m only 23 so you can just imagine the mental hell for older black Americans when they learn who really sent us to the Americas.

I just wanted to point that out because your British no and I often see non Americans wonder why we constantly make weird ass statements.

Like….black Americans was taught since they were in the fucking womb that slavery was only “white people enslaved black people”

Sorry for this heavy topic, just saying you guys are in a doozy with Americans for awhile

It's true, America is incredibly insular in some ways - perhaps because it is so big - and as a result it sometimes projects its own problems and skewed perceptions onto the rest of the world. And, because it has been the world empire this past century, the rest of the world often falls in line with those views too.

But slavery has always been with us: every race has bought and sold every other race, and Africans were buying, selling, trading and enslaving other Africans for thousands of years before any white-skinned devils bearing gunpowder turned up on their shores.

You'd think that basic and inarguable truth would be the first thing schools would teach impressionable children about this matter, but today they're much more intent on making them want to destroy western civilization for no reason.

[yanderes-galore]

Not requested but on this blog I want to indulge so that is what I will do! Dirk is in progress, I'm almost done Act 5 so soon I will start Act 6. For now, I give you this to test the waters and because I really want to write for the Trolls. (Been awhile since I've written for the sake of just me so I hope you enjoy me pouring my pent up thoughts about this series- I'll accept feedback) Barely proofread, we die like men.

Alphabet Used Here

Spoiler Warning for both sub-acts of Act 5 probably. This also contains triggering themes so read the warnings before reading.

Yandere Alphabet - Gamzee Makara ♑️

Pairing: Matesprit ❤️(Romantic)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Murder, Sadism, Clingy behavior, Obsession, Manipulation, Worshipping, Violence, Grotesque descriptions, Unhinged Gamzee (What's New?), Kidnapping, Dubious into Forced relationship, Blood, Delusional behavior mentioned, Mentions of keeping a corpse, Stalking implied, Decapitation, Implied nercrophillia but I don't go into it for obvious reasons, Death, Breaking of bones.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

For the most part Gamzee is just so caring. He's good-natured and very dedicated to the friendships he has. When it comes to his darling he'd listen to them for the most part, even consulting them about their emotional problems.

He'd be incredibly affectionate towards you as his Matesprit. He seems touch starved due to his upbringing and would cling to you at every chance he gets. Before his breakdown he's a fine yandere to be around, often just trying to lay with you for cuddles and maybe lazy kisses. He's docile... easy to deal with.

AFTER his breakdown, it's a living hell. He goes from being one of the easiest Homestuck yanderes to deal with to one of the hardest.

He's more likely to kill and torment those around him, including his darling in this state.

Just listen to him... don't provoke him... and you may just be alright-

Maybe....

Long story short, he can get intense either way.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Pre-Breakdown! Gamzee wouldn't really get messy. Don't get me wrong, he's CAPABLE of it, but the bloodlust isn't there.

That is until he realizes his Matesprit may just be in danger. The gloves are off then.

Before his breakdown, Gamzee needs a motive to get messy.

Post-Breakdown! Gamzee will just get messy for the fun of it. He loves to see blood fly like a pretty rainbow.

He would club people's heads in just to see their skulls crack. If they were involved with his Matesprit or not doesn't matter. Afterwards he'll approach you, blood cascading from him in all sorts of colors.

He'll giggle at you, honking at unpredictable volumes before wrapping himself around you...

His Matesprit.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Gamzee normally treats you well. He wouldn't mock you, he loves you too much for that. He wants to hold you and never let you go. He likes how warm you feel against him.

In captivity he'd treat you the same as usual. He holds you close and often presses kisses to you in various spaces. He's lazy with his affection but not in the form of neglecting you it, he likes it slow.

After his breakdown, it's horrible. His "affection" is rough and forced. He's feral in this state almost. After his breakdown he'd definitely mock you and tease you. He's a Purple Blood, he deserves your respect.

He's sadistic after he kidnaps you, dragging you to a secluded spot to keep you after smashing your head with a club. He knows you're his Matesprit still he's just twisted about it.

He becomes strangely obsessive about obedience in this state. The longer you're around this Gamzee, the more you miss the old one.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Before his breakdown, no. Gamzee wants you to keep your free will! He loves you, while he gets jealous sometimes he tries to allow you to do your own thing.

Afterwards, yes. He does pretty much everything against your will after his breakdown.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Before his breakdown I'd say a lot. Even after his breakdown he still does... just completely insane.

Gamzee is very attached to you as a Matesprit. He wants to give you everything he can before his breakdown. He wants to be there for you and you to be there for him.

After his breakdown it's either less or extremely deluded. He still wants to do things for you... but he mostly wants you to do things for him.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Normally Gamzee wouldn't understand it. Why are you so upset? It's that or he just takes it as some sort of game and plays along. He doesn't entirely take it seriously.

After his breakdown Gamzee tolerance for this is at an all time low. He'll say it's cute but then try to force you back under his control. If you don't kneel... he'll make you kneel by breaking your bones.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Gamzee likes games but his red feelings for you are no game! He doesn't understand why you try to escape and tries to calm you the best he can. Like a Matesprit should!

After his breakdown Gamzee may indulge in the chase and hunt, then drag you back and punish you for trying that.

Running from your Matesprit... just what were you thinking?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When he eventually has his breakdown. What's worse than Gamzee running around and slaughtering all your friends then hunting you covered in their blood?

Maybe it's when he breaks your bones and makes you bleed for disobeying him?

That, or the high probability of your own death.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Gamzee in general just wants to pursue Matespritship with you. Be you human or troll, he doesn't mind. All he knows is he loves you.

He considers starting a life with you off his sopor slime addiction. Honestly you may be the only one who can tame the rage in his genes. Thinking of the future with you is a bit difficult...

But he's fine as long as he has you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Gamzee is normally really chill. If he did get jealous he could probably cope. You're destined to be Matesprits anyways, that's what his Mirthful Messiahs promised him!

If someone was trying to express red feelings for you too, however...

Gamzee doesn't mind talking to them... maybe even a little threat with one of his juggling clubs.

After his breakdown, he no longer copes. He's going to decapitate someone or just bash them in with his weapon.

It's disrespectful to take his Matesprit, isn't it?

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Affectionate. Normally Gamzee clings to you when he sees you and acts really relaxed. Around you he is less inclined to take sopor slime and feels really happy. He doesn't mind PDA and just wants to show his Matesprit he loves them!

If you need to talk to him about something, he's all ears. He loves to try and help you and is even a bit silly at times. He's just... a lovable Matesprit.

After his breakdown Gamzee is just intimidating with his darling. He isn't as openly caring. He cares way more about killing those around you than anything else. He doesn't even mind being a threat to you himself as he gets so deranged.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Gamzee becomes friends with you at first. He doesn't mind placing you in the pale quadrant for now until he starts developing red feelings.

Gamzee will begin to realize he has red feelings for you the more he interacts with you. Be it through a chatting program or beside each other... Gamzee realizes he likes your attention.

He loves the idea of just... chilling with you.

You must be made for him! It's a MIRACLE you've met!

You are destined to be Matesprits, aren't you?

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Well... with Gamzee it's hard to say.

After his breakdown, obviously.

Before it... not really anything too noticeable.

Other than the obsessive need to know about you and ask for you to be his Matesprit/the affection I suppose.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Normally, Gamzee wouldn't punish you.

Breakdown! Gamzee would. Which would include a great amount of pain, or possibly death by clubbing.

How much did you piss him off?

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Normal Gamzee, none.

Breakdown! Gamzee, nearly everything.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He's patient normally until his breakdown, then his patience is thin.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Normal Gamzee, not really. You may just push him more into his slime addiction if you left before he tried to find you. He may just REACH his breakdown if you left.

If you died, Gamzee grieves heavily. Suddenly... he wonders why he was given such a cruel outcome.

Breakdown! Gamzee won't tolerate you leaving. Either way you'd be dead. He doesn't grieve, either. No... he carries on.

You're still his Matesprit! Even as a beheaded corpse! Really, what will change?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Gamzee may feel bad at first but wouldn't let you go. It is what it is, right? You're Matesprits now.

Breakdown! Gamzee doesn't care. He would still not let you go and does not feel bad in the slightest.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His Lusus was never really home and he was essentially just left to raise himself. He's always been alone. So... that could cause the obsessive need for a Matesprit possibly.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Gamzee would try to console you. He actually likes to mediate emotional issues for friends, like Karkat.

How could he not help his Matesprit out emotionally? He wants to help you the best he can!

Breakdown! Gamzee probably takes some sort of pleasure from it. He'd lick your tears or something, probably.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He's likely kill his darling and keep their corpse after his breakdown. We've all seen what that leads to... unfortunately.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

It's easy to get space from normal Gamzee. He loves you and wants you to have freedoms. So... nothing much.

Breakdown! Gamzee... no chance.

Maybe extreme affection?

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Normally, no, never.

Post-breakdown? Yes. To the point of death.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He's worship you like a religious gift. He is a worship yandere at times and would go to great lengths to keep you in general.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He could pine for awhile... not too long, though.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Normally, no, never.

Post-breakdown? In every way possible and maybe even more

[autumnslance]

Hi! I’ve been trying to make an introductory post for my WoL, but when I tried doing so freeform it ended up overly long and full of rambling. I’ve searched for templates all over the internet, but the only ones I can find are in the general style of D&D character sheets that include irrelevant information about stats while not properly dedicating space to the actual character traits. I saw the format you used for your OCs, and it seems to be about what I’m looking for. Is there any chance you could provide a blank template along those lines for me and others who might have the same problem?

Funnily, while I keep them all similar, I didn't have a template before now. Also reminds me I need to do some updating and revision on my own OCs, it's been awhile and they can use a refresh for character and plot updates.

I recommend making static pages over posts; easier to track and edit. I am a stickler for organization, so keep my pinned post to the bare basics with links to the profiles and other pages, to keep from stretching the post to a mile long, in part, and to keep the info where it's easily read and relevant. Also because mobile app view won't show one's theme and links, and the pinned post is more likely to be seen and accessible than a sidebar or menu.

I have tutorials on how to set a custom theme (and access full blog features) as well as how to create those static blog pages. Tumblr may have made some updates since, but the gist is the same, and the Help pages have newer details if necessary.

I do urge keeping colors and format simple, accessible, and reader friendly, including screen reader friendly. A row of asterisks or tildes as a separator line are usually individually read out by screen readers, as is the code used to make those fancy hard-to-read gothic letters folks use for "aesthetics." In a lot of my profiles, I split sections with images of the character (which should also use alt text if we're trying to be kind and inclusive, and it's to the point of a profile page anyway).

I think I will put the intro and template here in the post under a cut, and then in a Reply Comment add a link to the Google Doc version, cuz of how Tumblr is about external links. An actual blank copy-pasta is on the GDoc, what's below has some thought processes for each section for guidance.

This a pretty modular template, that can be added to or subtracted from as needed. Move descriptive blocks around as they seem more or less relevant for your OC, substitute things that make sense over things that don’t; this is just a starting point!

I see these as broad strokes; a quick introduction and general overview of your character, meant to give an at-a-glance idea of who they are. It’s handy for other writers and artists, and even oneself for keeping track of some details. I recommend practicing succinct writing here; these blocks should each stay between 100-300 words or thereabouts. Use links to other pages and tags to point toward longer details and stories (and keep them handy for yourself!). It also makes it much easier when you want to revise things when characterization marches forward, or if you want to retcon something entirely.

But these are all just my opinions and ideas on how I approach OC profiles after making them in some form or another for about a quarter century. Make it as long or short as it needs to be, change it up, go nuts, I ain’t your mom, and so on 😉

-

Statistics: The basics; barebones, at-a-glance stat blocks, handy for quick reference. Can be added to or shortened as needed. If a stat starts to word wrap on a standard screen, trim it and move that extra detail to the “Description” paragraph below the list.

Race: (for FF14 fantasy possibilities) Nationality: (or Ethnicity, whatever works. Where are they from, as that helps shape them?) Height: (both feet/inches and centimeters are handy here) Eyes: Build: (I prefer this to weight, as that’s ridiculously variable depending on one’s build, which is more important visually anyway; are they broad, stocky, skinny, muscular, stringy, etc) Hair: (color, type, texture, preferred lengths and styling) Skin: (sometimes I fold scars into here, if there’s nothing too outstanding) Scars: Voice: (how do they sound?) Nameday: Age: (depends on your personal timeline for your OCs, but I recommend an age range over specifics; mid-20s, 25-35, late teens, a little over a century, etc. Less updating and fits with the handwaved time bubble anyway) Disciplines: (what are their main job[s]? The adventuring or professional skills they’ve learned?) Hobbies: Birthplace: Current Home: Occupation: (Their actual day job, different from or part of their disciplines?) Signature Items: (A particular weapon? A piece of jewelry? Always wear a specific coat?)

Description: A very short "immediate impressions" type description; what would someone "on the street" see when meeting/looking at your character on a typical day? Taking some of the info from the stats but then how you want those barebone facts to be seen; is the OC elegant, or rough? Expensive clothes or simple attire? Any particular smells, or sounds? I recommend around 100 words.

Biography: Very brief, general overview of the backstory that led them to the point where they become a story protagonist (adventurer, the WoL, or other roleplay archetype). Don't have to go into great detail, keep it short and simple; it's a blurb that sets up how they got here in broad strokes. I think my longest bio is around 300 words, and it probably shouldn’t go over that here.

To get more details, one can always link to specific stories, or to a tag. I have multiple OCs, so I might make my tags something like "Aeryn Backstory" or "Iyna Lore" or "Punchy History" or some combo thereof (I usually try to keep them consistent though for ease).

Persona: What face do they present to the world? How are they perceived by the public, acquaintances, coworkers, family, actual friends? Some of these answers will be the same, some may change depending on if and how they code switch in various social situations.

From there, what lies underneath the surface? What are some general internal attitudes, traits, feelings?

A hundred words for outward demeanor and another one hundred for innermost self ought to cover the general broad strokes.

Romance: If so inclined, details about the OC's relationship details; sexual and romantic orientations, relationship history, current situations, how they view and approach intimacy (or not!).

Links to relationship tags or stories or art can work well here, too.

Echo: Does the OC have an Echo at all? Is it a "typical" Echo, or do they have some special abilities, some things they're better at than others? How does it affect them, how do they feel about it?

This is another section that may be a free space section to remove or swap to something else relevant to the character.

Hobbies: The stuff outside of work and heroics. Ways they relax, special interests, side jobs, things they enjoy, and so on. This can be an expansion of the listing in the stat block, or you can cut out one or the other to avoid redundancy.

Companions: What’s their chocobo like, or do they have another favored mount? What pet(s) do they have? Are they practically a Disney Princess? Have a familiar? Do they prefer arcane entities? Technological constructs? Or do they eschew companions entirely?

How to find the OC in game: This is where I list things like realm and data center, and addresses for the FC house and personal house or apartment. Not necessary if you don't want folks to go looking.

Links: The links can be scattered through the post in relevant sections, or gathered together here. I tend to put my basic tag for the character, if I have an aesthetic tag for them, their story tags, any links to art references or other miscellaneous items I want easily found for myself and others. I often put this close to the top if a profile is longer and I want those links to be quick referenced.

OOC: Any particular notes one wants to make about the character from a meta perspective. Can also be combined with the Links.

[candiid-caniine]

so I've seen this going around lately, and I want to talk about it. I didn't want to add discourse to OP's post because I didn't know if/how much was welcome.

this is a very hot button issue for me. general tw for this post: mention of abuse within kink dynamics.

so. y'all all know that I have some very strict limits on this blog. I have a boundary against play with cis men. I have a hard limit on misogyny and patriarchy kinks being in my space. and I'm not alone in that: a lot of other queer ppl I know (mostly wlw, nblnb, t4t, and intersex) have the same limits.

for me it's trauma rooted. all dynamic abuse I've ever experienced has been at the hands of cis men, so I don't deal well with them. and growing up in purity culture as a closeted afab has ruled out misogyny/patriarchy kink. as a result, I am very avoidant of anything that rings of these dynamics...which happen to be overrepresented as dominance in modern pornography.

it is very hard as a t4t to find porn that isn't influenced by this binary, which usually plays itself out as:

to be feminine is to be weak, and vice versa

the submissive partner is the bottom

the dominant partner is controlling outside the bedroom

submission is holy for the feminine and deviant for the masc

dominance is holy for the masculine and deviant for the femme

existing power balances in society are utilized in play

the submissive is to be protected

the submissive is the dominants responsibility and not vice versa

aesthetic perfection is expected of the sub

and many more.

so to say "signs of domination in your social circle" may mean different things to different people. I'll be honest, I don't know what OP meant; this post was awhile back in their blog -- I'm just using this as a way to talk about some of my own hangups, hence why I made my own post instead of responding.

and yeah. if someone in my social circle showed signs of being controlling outside the bedroom, magnifying social inequalities in play, deeming submissives weak and demanding of protection, or expecting aesthetic perfection of submissive seeming people....would I call that evil? um. fuck no.

but I would recognize it as something I can't be a part of. I would form resentment if treated accordingly: as something inherently weak, defenseless, naive, and feminine due to my preference for submission, or hell, for being fucking Asian. cause yeah, that happens.

that said: if someones treating every sub, or every person they decide is submissive, like that...they're a fucking weirdo. their problem.

but there's another side to this. one that affects people who top, people with penises, and people who present as masc who...

may derive euphoria from aligning with a binary role in a kink setting

may genuinely share a desire to be protective and controlling with their partner/s

may face othering or prejudice for seeming like an angry trans woman or a violent butch or an angry Black person

are already only tenuously accepted in queer spaces due to masculine presentation or AGAB or race

so what's to be done?

simply put, don't put your trauma or your bias onto others. I really think that's the answer.

if a particular type of dominance triggers you, remove yourself from the space. unless it's your space, in which case set boundaries.

if you find yourself side eyeing people of a certain AGAB or presentation more than others, consider that this is a you problem.

understand not everything's about you. subs can be just as selfish as doms. just because your friend likes to dominate doesn't mean they want to Dom you. just because they Dom in a way you wouldn't want to be dommed doesn't mean they're wrong.

fuck off with your kink shaming. flat out, unless you are speaking about dynamic abuse or any other type of abuse, you have no grounds to judge the way other d-types or s-types roll. unlearn your purity culture.

learn a thing or two about top drop and/or Dom drop.

and for God's sake...in this hellish 2024 pride month where trans rights are backsliding and other lgbtq+ rights will certainly follow: educate yourself. cishets didn't invent kink. leather daddies have been doing this for decades. lesbian pulp fiction featuring s&m dates really far back. hell, ancient Greeks have art documenting s/m relationships, and y'all know they were gay as shit.

cause I have an inkling that in queer circles this comes from the decrying of evil, icky cishet culture in kink. you are entitled to your boundaries, but your bias and your judgment and your disgust can damn well be kept to yourself. my partner deals with enough guilt over their preferred role, and enough crisis about whether their masculinity comes off as creepy, without neopuritans exacerbating the issue.

and that includes me. I've had to unlearn this shit from the ground up since coming out. I thought coming out was the unlearning, but no: you are not immune to internalized bias. and your masc, amab, intersex, and Black and Brown queer siblings are not immune to the harm you may be perpetuating.

anyway. I'm stoned AF. and prepared to turn off reblogs for this post. lol

[aliensunflower-fics]

For those who have been asking and wondering: “Hey where the hell has sunny been? She promised us new chapters to her stuff. Thats kinda rude that she fell off the face of the planet without so much as a note. I hope shes okay at least.”

Soooo yeah… My entire life KINDA exploded. Like you know ‘Murphys Law’ : Anything that can go wrong will go wrong?

WELL that’s been my life!

First off my computer decided to be quirky and special and not like the other girls and stopped accepting the existence of internet. That’s right my very expensive laptop that I use for my job decided I needed to touch grass and went “the internet is fake and you cant convince me otherwise.” So obviously that was a problem and I tried a bunch of stuff to fix it and taking it into a shop and nothing worked and I could not afford another one and again I need it for my job so eventually we figured out a way for it to accept the internet but it needs to be plugged into the router directly.

Then right as that was getting handled. My apartment landlord decided. “Yeahhh I want more money and to get more money I need to renovate so leave. Like asap.” So I have been frantically looking for a place to live. Me and my partner found a place but need to deal with the bank to finalize stuff and the bank is being stubborn and causing problems.

Then on top of that the government of the country im in. (Im an immigrant) went hey wait WE messed up your immigration paperwork and need you to resend a bunch of documents but also the mail messed up so you dont have as much time as we normally give not our problem though. So Ive been diving through our packed belongings looking for old paperwork from over a year ago.

Oh and every few days my very chaotic family sends me very stressful messages or needs my help with stuff.

So… yeah. Im physically healthy at least. But I have not had 1 moment of stress free rest in awhile.

The good news is ive taken care of a lot of the problems above. I mean my housing situation is still very up in the air thanks to money problems and bank laziness but aside from that the rest is mostly ironed out. So for those who have been asking: yes I’m alive, yes I’m okay, no i haven’t abandoned this blog, no i haven’t abandoned my fics, yes i feel bad that everything has been delayed so much.

I hope I can settle everything in my life soon and go back to posting more consistently. Until then please keep your fingers and toes crossed that the housing situation works because its a very nice apartment and I need somewhere to live.

[seouljazzbar]

hello!

i'm sure you all have forgotten about me already which is totally valid, it's been complete radio silence over here for weeks. i just wanted to touchbase in case anyone was still waiting on the hook or curious about my whereabouts. i feel very weird about riize at the moment, specifically concerning seunghan and i wish that i could riize above, but it's really difficult. it's exhausting living in this fandom with zero answers and zero reassurance, to see him completely wiped from riize's existence like he was never there. it's one of several problems i have with the kpop industry, and it's grown increasingly difficult to ignore. i know that that has no bearing on the other members, but it's so hard to separate the two, you know?

so i'm not sure what i'm going to do with this blog. riize are not my ult although i love them dearly, and so maybe this is a time for me to pivot towards writing for the other groups i listen to. or maybe just hit the pause button until seunghan comes back (fingers crossed because that's ambitious, i know). i love the community on here and everyone's so lovely, but that's not really enough for me to keep moving, at least not right now. so, i guess this was a whole lot of nothing, but it's something to me! it's not a farewell, just an honest update about my feelings and headspace at the moment.

i haven't read fic my entire hiatus, and maybe i'll come back just to read for awhile! all of you are so talented and i've definitely missed that aspect, so there's that :) i'll give another update when i feel more concrete in everything, and thank you in advance for understanding

[munson-blurbs]

Ghostin' (Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader): Chapter 2

Part One

Summary: Five weeks after receiving unexpected news, you still haven't spoken to any of your friends. A talk with Wayne helps you make a decision, while Steve struggles with his own guilt and the possibility that Vecna isn't quite done with him yet.

Warnings: language, S4 is canon, pregnancy

WC: 4.8k

Taglist: @kaybee87 @sidthedollface2 @chelebelletx @livsters @atombombbibunny @tattooedkiss13 @manda-panda-monium @charming-winchester @corroded-hellfire @trashmouth-richie @sweet-villain @slightlyvicked @hxllfired @yogizzz @tlclick73 @thefreakofhawkins86 @sheisjoeschateau @harrypotteranna23-blog @harringr0ve

Divider credits to @firefly-graphics

You wake up to sunlight streaming through your kitchen window, giving a groan as you wipe the sleep from your eyes and sit up; an action that is becoming more difficult with your growing bump. The TV screen is blue, and likely has been for awhile. You’ve fallen asleep watching a movie, again. At this rate, you’ll never finish St. Elmo’s Fire until after the baby comes, and then you’ll be too busy raising a kid by yourself.

As you pop the VHS out of the player, your body feels like it’s been drained of all warmth. Your plan was to watch the movie last night and return it to Family Video immediately. Some random high school kid worked there on Saturday nights, which meant you could sneak in and out without your friends getting a glimpse of your belly.

But now it’s Sunday morning. And Steve Harrington works on Sunday mornings.

Maybe I can just toss it through the doors like a Frisbee, you think wryly. In theory, you could just return it tomorrow and pay the late fee, but you can’t afford to waste money now. You bury your head in your hands with an exasperated groan. You throw on the oversized sweatshirt that best conceals the bump, though you look completely ridiculous in the mid-July heat. Your keys practically slip through your fingers, sweaty from your own body heat and nerves. 

There’s only one other person who knows your secret besides the nurse and your parents, and you find yourself driving to his place before you even realize where you’re going. 

Rapping on the door lightly in case he’s still asleep, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’re holding. Guilt gnaws at your insides; here you are, bothering someone with your own problems for the umpteenth time. 

“Hey there, darlin’.” Wayne greets you with a tired smile. “You got any more of those pictures for me?” The man, usually so stoic, was elated any time you brought new grainy ultrasound photos. 

You shake your head. “Not today, but I have an appointment in a few days.” Given the high-stress situation, your doctor had you coming in more often than the traditional expectant mother. “‘M sorry if I woke you up.”

Wayne holds the door open for you and you step inside the trailer. Each visit, it smells less and less like Eddie’s signature scent of musky cologne, stale cigarettes, and weed. “You’re never a bother. Always cheers me up to see you and my little grandbaby.” 

The first time you met Wayne, a few months into your relationship with Eddie, you were so nervous. This was the man who raised him, who took him in when no one else would, and you desperately wanted to make a good impression. You had a similar feeling now, looking anxiously at the ground while you tried to formulate a sentence.

“Could I ask you for a favor?” You’re picking at your fingernails, unable to look him in the eyes. 

“‘Course,” Wayne says softly. “What do you need?”

You hold out the VHS. “D’you think you could return this to Family Video for me today?” Your hand trembles, and considering your wrist is fully healed, it has to be due to your own anxiety. Tears prickle at your eyes. 

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne sighs, sitting on the couch and patting the spot next to him. “You still haven’t talked to your friends?” You can only manage another head shake as the teardrops fall. He pulls you in for a side hug. “You know they won’t judge you. They’ll still love you, and they will certainly love that baby.”

“That’s the thing,” you manage through heaving sobs. “I know they’ll be here for me, for us,” you amend, placing a hand on your belly, “but that’s not what I want. I don’t want to keep being everyone’s pathetic pity case.” You feel Wayne’s grizzled hand rubbing your back gently, and you start to calm down. “I don’t want to be a burden to people.”

Wayne pauses for a moment before speaking. “Did I ever tell you about the time Eddie and I had to go on food stamps?” he says finally.

You scrunch up your face. “I don’t think so.”

“It was a couple months after I got custody, and as my shit luck would have it, I lost my job. Thought we could just push through, but then I woke up one morning with no money in the bank and just a bottle of mustard in the fridge. If it was just me, I would’ve dealt with it. But now I got a ten-year-old kid; a growing boy. He’s gotta eat.

“So I bite the bullet and sign up for food stamps. I’d always promised I’d never rely on anyone else, especially the government, but there I am at the grocery store, week after week, with that booklet in hand.” 

A hint of a grin appears on his stubbled face. “I tried to hide it from Eddie, but you know how he is; can never mind his own business.” It’s not lost on you that he’s referring to his nephew in the present tense, like he’s still here. “And one day he catches me paying with stamps instead of cash, an’ he goes, ‘what’s that?’  I’m tellin’ him that I’ll explain later, but he pulls my arm down, looks, and says, ‘oh, it’s just food stamps.’ Real casual, no big deal. Meanwhile, I’m humiliated, thinkin’ I’m less of a man for not being able to provide.”

“But that’s not true,” you interject. “You did what you had to do to take care of him.”

“‘S not how I felt, though,” he counters, and you nod. “We get in my truck and I finally say to him, ‘I’m sorry we gotta use food stamps. ‘S only till I find work again.’ An’ you know what this kid says to me?”

“Mm-mm.”

“He goes, ‘Better than mustard for breakfast.’” You and Wayne both laugh at that, and soon you’re crying again, but now it’s from laughing too hard. 

“That is a classic ‘Eddie’ moment,” you giggle, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

Wayne scratches his whiskers. “Yeah, that memory always cheers me up. But that’s not why I told you.” You give him a puzzled look, and he continues. “Sometimes, we have to let people in, even if we wanna push them away. Because nine times outta ten, that fear is all in our head, and they aren’t bothered by our weaknesses at all.” His eyes are misty as he reaches for your hand. “It can be embarrassing and scary as hell to admit you need help. But trust me’,” he says, “it’s better than mustard for breakfast.”

You exhale, still feeling ambivalent about confronting Steve, but slightly less on-edge. “Thank you, Wayne,” you whisper. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re the best?”

“Jus’ you, darlin’,” he replies with a grin. “And if you and that baby of yours ever need anything else, you don’t hesitate to knock on this door.”

Taking a deep breath, you push open the door to Family Video. The bell on the door alerts Robin that there’s a customer, and she puts her book down and looks over. As soon as she sees who it is, her entire face lights up. “Y/N! You’re alive!” she cries out, nearly leaping over the counter and sprinting to you. “We were so worried!” She stops just short of you. “Wait, are you sick?”

Your brows pinch together in confusion. “No? Why?”

She points to your attire. “You’re wearing a sweatshirt and it’s, like, 90 degrees outside,” she says simply.

“Oh, yeah, no,” you rush, “it’s just, um, cold in the air conditioning?” But it comes out as more than a question, and Robin picks up on it right away.

“What’s going on?” She crosses her arms over her chest suspiciously, but quickly lets them drop. “Look, I know we didn’t know each other long before…everything…but you know you can tell me anything.”

You look around cautiously before slowly lifting your outer layer up over the gentle curve of your belly. Your shirt still covers your skin, but the bump is still prominent enough beneath it to warrant a gasp from your new friend.

“Oh, my God,” she murmurs, still unbelieving. 

“D’you wanna feel it?” you ask shyly. It’s a bit of a relief, actually; having someone else know your secret. It makes everything slightly less scary. 

Robin brings a hand to your stomach, smiling as she lightly touches it. “Oh, my God,” she repeats, blinking away tears. “Does Steve know?”

Your face blanches and you instinctively pull away. “It’s not his.” Your tone is snappy, and you feel bad as soon as you hear it. “‘M sorry, I just…”

“No, no,” Robin shakes her head. “I didn’t mean it like…” Her eyes widen when she realizes. “It’s Eddie’s.”

“Yeah,” you say, voice choked with emotion. “Yeah, it is.” You clear your throat. “And to answer your question, no; I haven’t told Steve.”

Robin bites her lower lip in contemplation. “Are you going to?” She glances towards the breakroom. “Because he’ll be coming out here in, like, five minutes.”

After your conversation with Wayne, you thought you were ready to explain everything to Steve, but now that the moment arrived, you’re suddenly unsure. “I don’t…I don’t think so.” You let your gaze drop to the tiled floor and place St. Elmo’s Fire on the counter. “I’m just gonna return this and go.” You head for the door before stopping to turn back to Robin. “Please don’t say anything to him. I’m not ready yet.”

She nods, miming zipping her lips and throwing away the key. “He won’t be mad, you know,” she tells you. “If anything, he’ll just fall even more in love with you.” She claps a palm over her mouth. “You didn’t hear that.”

But it’s too late–your head is spinning with the news. “Steve’s in love with me?” you gawp. “No, he’s in love with Nancy.”

“Was in love with Nancy, until…” she hears the breakroom doorknob rattling and shoots you a warning glance. “Incoming–I’ll explain another time.”

You exit as fast as you can, grateful you haven’t developed the infamous pregnancy waddle yet, and get into your car just as Steve walks back into the storeroom. 

“Did I just hear–” Steve questions, scanning the room. “Never mind.” He gives a little stretch and yawns. “My dreams are so realistic now; I can’t even tell what’s actually happening and what’s not.”

Robin rests her elbows on the counter, pressing her lips together like she’s physically trying to conceal your secret. “Anything good? Or just the usual nightmares?”

“What do you think?” Steve mumbles. “D’you still have them?”

“Sometimes,” Robin admits. “Not as much as in the beginning.” She twirls a piece of thread from her vest around her finger absentmindedly. “For me, it’s those damn vines. I feel them winding around my body, and I’m writhing underneath them, but when I finally break free, it…it’s too late for you and Nancy.”

Steve pauses. “Do you ever see him? Vecna, I mean? Is he there?”

“No, oddly enough. Maybe he’ll show up in future installments of ‘Recounts of Robin’s Traumatic Experiences.’” She laughs half-heartedly at her joke. “What about you?”

“Yeah,” Steve nods. “I see him. Hear the chimes, too.” The dream he just had in the breakroom was one of the most terrifying ones yet. 

He’s back in the gym at Hawkins High, shooting three-pointers, when a familiar voice calls out. 

“Hey, Steve.”

“Eddie!” Steve’s grin is so wide, it practically splits his face open. “We thought we lost you forever!”

“You know you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Eddie says, giving his signature smirk. “How’s life treatin’ you?”

Steve sighs. “Not great, dude. The town’s a mess, I have the worst dreams—“

“And you’re in love with Y/N,” Eddie cuts him off, his smile melting into a more sadistic expression. “You, Steve Harrington, want to get with my girlfriend. You selfish fucking prick.” His voice deepens, becomes sinister. “You could get any girl in this town, but you want what you can’t have; is that it?”

“N-No,” Steve stammers. “That’s not it at all.”

“I bet you wanted me to die, just so you could take her from me. That’s why you told me not to be a hero, isn’t it?” The voice coming from Eddie’s body doesn’t even resemble his anymore. “You knew if you said that, I’d take it as a challenge. Put my life at risk.” Thick, ugly vines snake around Eddie’s limbs. “Did you get everything you wanted, Steve?”

“I didn’t want you to die! I wasn’t trying to steal your girlfriend, Eddie! I swear!” 

And then Steve hears them: the demobats. They start off squawking faintly from a distance, but they get louder. No matter how fast Steve sprints, he can never outrun them. 

He shakes the memory away, tousling his hair in the process. “Sometimes, I worry that they’re not dreams,” he says softly. “Max told me that Vecna uses your biggest fears, your insecurities, and uses them to draw you in. And that’s how it is in every single nightmare I have.”

“Is it the Eddie thing?” Robin asks, her voice gentle. She knows when to poke fun at her friend, and when he needs to be taken seriously. When Steve is quiet, she gingerly places her hand on his forearm. “Steve, in these dreams, what is Vecna telling you?”

He gnaws on his lips, trying to suppress the tears that will inevitably fall. “That…that it’s my fault Eddie’s dead. That I wanted him to die so I could be with Y/N.”

“But that’s a lie. You know that’s a lie,” Robin reassures him, but it does little good. “We wanted to save everyone, including Eddie. Even if you wanted to be with Y/N then, you wouldn’t have Eddie killed over it.”

“I know; logically, I know that. But Vecna’s so convincing. He has me questioning everything.” Steve grabs a handful of Laffy Taffy from the candy counter, unwrapping a strawberry one and popping it in his mouth whole.

Robin snorts at the sight of him struggling to chew on the candy. “You know you can just, like, bite into it like a normal person?”

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” Steve smiles at her genuinely–it feels so good to smile–until his face suddenly contorts in pain. “Son of a bitch!” He reaches into his mouth and pulls the chewed pink blob out, now with a shiny silver addition to it. “My filling! Dammit!”

“Guess I’m taking your shift tomorrow while you go to the dentist?” Robin says with a roll of her eyes. “What were you saying about that being fun?”

Steve takes the hand that he isn’t using to massage his jaw and flips off his friend. “Actually, yeah,” he replies sheepishly. “If you wouldn’t mind?”

Walking into Hawkins Dental, Steve is hard to miss with the bag of frozen broccoli pressed to his cheek. You’re glad you’re sitting down, because the desk hides your belly. You’re one of two receptionists at the office, and neither the dentist nor the hygienists have noticed your bump yet. For all they know, it could just be run-of-the-mill weight gain.

The bag falls from Steve’s grip when he sees it’s you behind the counter. “Y/N,” he breathes, “wh-what are you doing here?” He shakes his head. “Okay, that was a dumb question. I just meant…I miss you. Miss, um, hanging out with you.” He picks the veggies up from the floor and puts it back to his face. For a moment, when he saw you, the pain just seemed to fade away.

You nod, trying your best not to rest your hand on your stomach. It’s a newfound habit that you find yourself doing any time you get anxious; like your first instinct is to protect your baby before anything else. “You’re here to get your filling replaced?” you ask matter-of-factly, trying to keep an even tone. You shuffle around in your chair for the intake forms and hand him a clipboard. “Fill these out and bring them back here. Dr. Scrivello will be with you shortly.”

A few moments later, Steve’s back with his completed paperwork. You can hear Dr. Scrivello finishing up with his current patient, but he’s not done fast enough to prevent you having a conversation with Steve.

“How have you been?” he murmurs, scratching nervously at the granite counter. “It’s been…”

“Almost six weeks,” you answer too quickly, and your face flushes.

Steve doesn’t seem to be fazed by your quick calculation. “Too long. Especially for people who were sharing a bed.”

“How did you manage to pull out a filling?” you change the subject. “Another casualty of a Family Video candy section?”

“The Laffy Taffy got me this time.” He gives a small chuckle before wincing. “Can’t laugh; hurts too much.”

You point to the bag in his hand. “Looks like it’s your turn to use frozen vegetables to nurse your wounds.”

“Oh, shit, yeah!” Steve raises his brows. “How’s your wrist? You’re not wearing the sling anymore.”

“Doctor said I only needed it for four weeks. Just have to be careful with it.” A confession is on the tip of your tongue. You want nothing more than to spill everything and to be pulled into a Steve hug. He just makes you feel safe and warm; you haven’t felt this way since…since Eddie.

“Steven Harrington?” Dr. Scrivello calls out, and both of you look over at him. “You can come on back.” He waves him over and pushes his thick black glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Wish me luck,” Steve mumbles.

“Good luck, Steven,” you tease. But it’s you who will need luck. You just don’t know it yet.

Steve walks out of the room only twenty minutes later. The cavity wasn’t deep, so the dentist didn’t even need to use novocaine to fill it. You weren’t expecting him to be done so soon, and you’re reaching up to pull another file from the shelf. Your scrubs are riding up slightly, exposing your stomach.

“Am I good to–whoa.” Steve’s eyes are immediately drawn to your bump. “Y/N, are you–” He stops mid sentence, remembering something his mom once said about never asking a woman if she’s pregnant.

You’re flooded with a mix of emotions, primarily fear and embarrassment. Though you didn’t exactly have a plan to tell Steve your news, it certainly wasn’t like this. “I wanted to…” you start, but you can’t even manage to finish your own lie. “I’m sorry.”

Steve’s brows pinch together. “Sorry? Why?”

“Can you come back at noon?” You glance at your watch; it’s 10:30 AM now. “That’s when I take my lunch break.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” he says, unsure whether to make eye contact. “Do I have a copay?”

“Huh? Oh, no, you’re good.” You shove your hands in your pants pockets to keep Steve from seeing them trembling. “I’ll, um, see you later?”

“Yeah, later.” He can barely choke out the two words, shuffling through the door back to his car. 

You slump back into your chair. You’ve got an hour and a half, a full ninety minutes, to come up with a way to explain everything to Steve. Sure, the whole pregnancy announcement was out of the way, but now you have to tell him why you’ve been ignoring him. And the whole him being in love with you remark from Robin won’t stop replaying in your head.

The electronic hum of the bell buzzes at exactly twelve o’clock. You look up to see Steve walking through the door, carrying a giant brown bag with the Bradley’s Big Buys logo stamped on the side.

“Ready?” he asks, and you nod and place the “out to lunch” placard on the counter.

“Got yourself anything good?” You motion to the bag in his hand as the two of you walk outside. “More frozen produce for either of our various ailments?”

Steve cracks a smile; it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did this morning. “Nah, just got you a little something.” He holds it open for you to peer in. There are five jars inside, each a different type of pickle. “I heard that craving pickles is, like, super common for pregnant people,” he explains, blushing. “But I wasn’t sure what kind, so I just kinda…got them all.”

You can’t lie; a crisp, juicy pickle sounds like heaven right about now, but there’s a sinking feeling attached to the craving. “You didn’t have to do this,” you whisper.

He runs a hand through his hair, a disappointed sigh escaping his lips. “I knew I should’ve gone with ice cream, but I was afraid it would all melt.”

“No, no; ‘s not that.” Your lip quivers as you talk, finally ready to be honest. “Steve, the reason I didn’t tell you about this is because I didn’t want you to feel even more obligated to take care of me.”

You can’t miss the flustered look on his face. “Obligated? I never felt obligated to take care of you.” He places his hand over yours. “Where did you get that idea from?”

“Wasn’t anything you said or did,” you rush to explain, “‘s just hard for me to accept help from people. Makes me feel useless. Like I can’t take care of myself.”

Steve’s heart shatters at your admission. “No, God, no. I never felt that way—I never…that’s not why I stuck around.” He looks around, noticing the people passing by. “Wanna continue this in the car?” You nod and follow him to the BMW, sliding into the passenger seat. In a few more months, that might not be so easy. 

“When Eddie and I went for that walk in the woods, in the Upside Down, he asked me to take care of you if he…if he couldn’t,” Steve begins. 

“So you did this for Eddie?” Now it makes sense; there was an obligation to uphold a promise to his late friend. 

“That’s how it started, yeah. But then we started spending more time together, and I realized that…this might sound weird, but I felt peaceful with you. In a way I’ve never felt before.”

Your nose crinkles. “There are a lot of words I would use to describe the last few months, and ‘peaceful’ definitely isn’t one of them.”

“Exactly!” Steve’s burst of enthusiasm startles you. “Sorry. But that’s what’s so strange about it. Like, I should be tense all the time, and I mostly am, but being around you made me feel like things could maybe be, I dunno, normal again. Whatever that means,” he adds with a wave of his hand. 

“And I think part of it was selfish, too,” he continues. “It felt nice to be needed, instead of the one always asking for help.”

“That’s how I’ve been feeling,” you tell him, unwrapping your peanut butter sandwich and digging in. “I didn’t want to be a burden, a charity case.” 

“You’re not. I don’t see you that way; none of us do.” You assume he’s talking about Robin and the rest of the party. “For better or for worse, you’re our friend now. And friends take care of each other.” He leans down and takes a bite of your sandwich. “See? I’m hungry, and you helped me!”

You swat at him playfully. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to mess with a pregnant lady’s food? You could be taking away vital nutrients from the baby!”

Steve swallows his stolen piece of sandwich. “Speaking of which, how long have you known?”

You knew that your turn was coming, but it didn’t make things any easier. “Since I went to the hospital for my wrist. They ran a pregnancy test before they could do an x-ray, and—surprise.” You cup your small bump lovingly. 

“Is that why you asked me to leave and stopped talking to me?”

“Yeah. I felt bad enough having you take care of me. And I know you, Steve Harrington; you would’ve insisted on taking care of this kid, too.”

“Damn right I would’ve!” Steve smacks the gearshift for emphasis. “And I would’ve done it happily.” He looks at you with his big brown eyes. “I still will, if you’re okay with it.”

You drop your gaze as though you’ve developed a sudden interest in the car upholstery. It’s better than mustard for breakfast, you remind yourself. Let people help you if you need it—and you NEED it now more than ever. 

“I have a doctor’s appointment next Tuesday; just a check-up to make sure Little Bean is nice and healthy,” you say slowly. Every instinct is urging you to shut up and handle it alone, but you push them away. “My mom usually comes with me, but she can’t take off from work this time.”

Steve smiles knowingly. “I can take you. I have off on Tuesdays, so it’s perfect.”

“Thank you.” Relief flows through your body like a river, calm after a storm. You glance over at the Bradley’s bag tucked under the glove compartment. “This calls for a celebration. Put on some music, yeah?”

Steve starts the car and flips through the radio stations until the sound of Led Zeppelin pumps through the speakers. 

“Ooh, I love Black Dog!” you squeal, opening a jar of Kosher Dills and fishing one out, tapping it against the rim to avoid dripping pickle juice on yourself. You hold the jar out to Steve. “Want one?”

“Pickles with a peanut butter sandwich?” he grimaces. “I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself,” you shrug, crunching into the snack and singing along to the radio. 

Eyes that shine, burnin' red 

Dreams of you all through my head 

Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh

The sound of you singing, so carefree, fills Steve with a warmth that he hasn’t experienced since before that wretched spring break. He wants to capture the joy, both yours and his, and hold onto it forever. “You know what always annoyed me about this song?” Steve pauses before relenting and biting into a pickle. “They never even say the words ‘black dog.’” 

You bark out a laugh. “You should write to Jimmy Page and let him know. File a formal complaint.”

“Maybe I will!” Steve shoots you a kind smile. “You know, Y/N; you’re not alone. We’re all scared, trying to figure out how the hell to deal with what we went through.” He gives a sarcastic chuckle. “There’s no handbook on coping with interdimensional trauma.”

“If you find one with a chapter on being a single mom because your child’s father died in said alternate dimension, let me know,” you quip wryly.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Steve squeezes your hand. “I just know,” he tells you, a tear sliding down his cheek, “I just know Eddie would’ve been so happy to be a dad.”

You look up at him with wide, shiny eyes. “You think so?”

“Yes, absolutely,” he affirms. “He wanted the whole shebang with you–marriage, house in the suburbs, kids.” He wipes his eyes. “Eddie really fuckin’ loved you.”

You take in the information, bittersweet emotions swirling through you. You still love Eddie, love him so much it makes you physically ache, but there’s deep-rooted anger. And then the guilt of being angry at a dead man; a dead man whose baby you were carrying. It was all too much.

Twisting the lid back on the pickle jar, you clear your throat and reach for the car door. “Thank you again, Steve. For everything.” You lean over and press a soft kiss to his cheek. “You’re a great friend.”

Steve nods; the word friend is both comforting and unsettling. “Any time,” he manages. Anything for you. Anything you ever need, I’ll drop everything and come to you. No questions asked.

Tension resolved between you and him, Steve tucks himself into bed that night with a hope that he’ll have sweet dreams. He should know better by now.

It’s one of the usual nightmares, where Steve is calling out for his friends in the Upside Down, but no one is around. He’s alone, terrified, with no one to save him.

And then he hears the grandfather clock, so loud the world seems to vibrate. Clang, clang, clang, clang. But there’s something different this time. 

Steve’s blood runs cold at the sound of a fifth chime.

 –

[aroyaltailor]

semi-hiatus (vent warning)

Currently failing Spanish 102 and things are not getting better. In a move that I'm sure will surprise none of those who follow this blog, I am going to be taking a hiatus from any writing. Yes, another break! Another hiatus, putting off work on this blog and leaving the replies I owe to rot in my drafts. The words simply do not come out of me, and I'm still struggling with perfectionism that blocks any genuine attempts at getting anything done. I basically have to learn the entirety of Spanish, or at least the relevant information for the class, because if I fail I won't be able to graduate this semester.

It's the same damn thing every time. I've submitted a request for the counseling service provided by my college, but they have a two week waiting period due to the huge influx of students needing mental health help these days. I genuinely believe that I've reached a point where I need professional help with my writing, and that I have somekind of OCD that prevents me from simply writing the first draft without needlessly fussing over every word.

I really didn't want to have to make this post. I was holding on to the hope that things would be alright. I was hoping that everything would be okay. That I'd be able to create legitimate routines, learn how to comprehend Spanish, and that I would be able to have the time to sit back and focus and work on building this blog.

The first exam of the class is next Tuesday, September 10th. I won't lie, I'm basically spiraling at this point. Self-care is at a total minimum, and I haven't really been taking care of my health either. I'm not eating much, both out of lack of hunger and the simple fact that my household doesn't have any food available. Today alone, I've been slouched over the table in the upstairs study rooms of my college, staring at this damned screen all day. Suicidal thoughts, a bit of self-harm with a pen, it feels just as bad as organic chemistry. And the genuine possibility that I might be kicked out the house if I fail Spanish 102 isn't helping matters. I don't really have anyone to talk to either, not in-person at least. Not really even online either, but that's probably too jaded for me to say. Doubt anyone will even read this, but that understandable I guess. Everyone has their own problems, so many people do, and they can't pause and stop when they have their own concerns to deal with, especially for someone that hasn't really produced anything.

Let's just say it isn't getting better. It's not. It's getting worse. I can't be on here as much as I want to, and I'm beginning to think that I've been damaged permanently by what happened to me. My dad had lung cancer, I did everything I could, but that's all I can say about it. Even just typing that sentence has me bawling now.

I'll either pass Spanish 102 this semester or I won't. If I don't, I definitely won't take it well. I'm sorry for everything I've said about how I'd made progress, or that I'd be around to do replies only to post nothing at all. I'm not doing well and haven't been for awhile.

Hopefully things will get better. But then again, I've said that before haven't I? Time will tell. I'm sorry to everyone for the times I've wasted their time with starters or replies I haven't responded to yet. Blog isn't even finished yet, but if I pass I'll try. I promise I'll try.